City University of New York (CUNY) CUNY Academic Works All Dissertations, Theses, and Capstone Projects Dissertations, Theses, and Capstone Projects 10-2014 When Wives Migrate and Leave Husbands Behind: A Jamaican Marriage Pattern Elaine B. Douglas-Harrison Graduate Center, City University of New York How does access to this work benefit ou?y Let us know! More information about this work at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu/gc_etds/420 Discover additional works at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu This work is made publicly available by the City University of New York (CUNY). Contact: [email protected] WHEN WIVES MIGRATE AND LEAVE HUSBANDS BEHIND: A JAMAICAN MARRIAGE PATTERN by ELAINE DOUGLAS-HARRISON A dissertation submitted to the Graduate Faculty in Sociology in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy, The City University of New York 2014 1 ©2014 ELAINE DOUGLAS-HARRISON All Rights Reserved ii This manuscript has been read and accepted for the Graduate Faculty in Sociology in satisfaction of the dissertation requirement for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy. __________ _________________________________________________ Date Cynthia Fuchs Epstein, Chair of Examining Committee __________ _________________________________________________ Date Philip Kasinitz, Executive Officer William Kornblum Joan Mencher Constance Sutton Supervisory Committee THE CITY UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK iii ABSTRACT WHEN WIVES MIGRATE AND LEAVE HUSBANDS BEHIND: A JAMAICAN MARRIAGE PATTERN by Elaine Douglas-Harrison Adviser: Professor Cynthia Fuchs Epstein For over a hundred years Jamaicans have been migrating to make the proverbial ‘better life’ for themselves and their families. In the early 20th century husbands migrated, leaving wives behind. As economies of the United States and Canada have become more service-oriented, wives migrate leaving husbands behind. The experiences of Jamaican immigrant women are documented in Caribbean migration studies, but the marriages of Jamaican legally-married immigrant wives and their husbands left behind in Jamaica are so far unstudied. The main research question of this study is what maintains these transnational marriages over time, sometimes for decades, when spouses see each other sometimes only once or twice a year. Data for the study come from: in-depth interviews conducted between 2005 and 2007; conversations held over the past fifteen years with participants in these marriages in the United States and in Jamaica; and participant observation of U.S. and Jamaican societies. The findings reveal that daily companionship in marriage is not as essential a Jamaican cultural value as migration, but that the institution of marriage, although not the dominant form of coupling in Jamaica, is important enough to last. Moreover, divorce still bears a stigma in Jamaican culture. Outcomes of these marriages vary but may not be unpredictable, depending on their pre-migration state and the nature of the living-apart experience. By focusing on these Jamaican transnational marriages, this study hopes to cast another light on Jamaican migration, as well as to encourage further discussion and research of legal marriage in Jamaica and in the Afro-Caribbean. iv ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Gratitude is here expressed first to God, who planted the idea and saw it through. To my teacher parents, whose excitement was tangible when their students achieved: your surname is imprinted here with mine. To Denzil and Val, my musician brothers, who have inspired me with the excellence of their craft: I found Pam Hall’s song, which I quote, because Val plays the bass line. To my four beautiful children, Nina, Tamara, Diallo, and Zawadi, who keep me going: may your kinship networks be always as strong as mine. You were sometimes “left behind,” but not for long. To my 'Big Three' grandsons, Kimani, Omari, and Mikazae, and the younger grandchildren who follow them: you will also cross stages to receive degrees. Thanks, Omari, for reminding me that I always complete what I begin. To Cousin Noland, who paid for some of my early courses, and to his wife Chevy, who let him. Sternberg’s How To Complete And Survive A Doctoral Dissertation is now returned, with thanks. To my “sisters” and all-time cheerleaders, Diane, Sheila, Carlene, Mayling, Gisel. To goddaughter Shakina, who found books for me when I had no access to a college library. To my eternally patient Supervisory Committee (Cynthia Fuchs-Epstein, Chair, Bill Kornblum, and Joan Mencher, CUNY; and Connie Sutton, NYU), who probably thought I would never finish, but were kind enough not to say so. To Rati, beloved Academic Program Coordinator – there are not enough words to describe my gratitude. To Sonji, who beat me to the finish and proceeded to ‘show and tell’ how she did it. To my interviewees, especially those who have passed on, for their trust: I apologize for taking so long. To my wonderful readers, Allia, Errol, Mai, Marshaleen and Millicent. To Barry Chevannes, who was my friend long before he published the works I cite, but who passed on before he too could be a reader. Last but by no means least, to my husband Charlie, a latecomer to the scene, my everyday companion. You won’t be left behind. v TABLE OF CONTENTS Chapter Page I. FIRST MEN, NOW WOMEN: THE STUDY 1 Introduction 1 Research Question and Hypotheses 8 Theoretical Framework and Review of Literature 11 Design and Methods 12 Conclusion: Significance and Structure of the Study 13 II. MIGRATION AND MARRIAGE: THE LITERATURE 15 Foreword 15 Migration 15 Marriage 22 Living Apart Together (LAT) Marriages 29 Colonialism and Slavery 31 Male “Marginality” 33 Childhood Socialization and Gender Norms 35 Respectability vs. Reputation 39 Social Class 39 The Individual Life Course 41 The Ethnographic Method and Presentation of the Self 45 III. THE STUDY OF WIVES ABROAD, HUSBANDS AT HOME 48 Foreword 48 The Sample 48 vi The Respondents 49 The Interviews 52 The Participant Observation 55 IV. RESPONDENTS DISCUSS MIGRATION AND MARRIAGE 59 Foreword 59 Respondents 60 The Wives 60 The Husbands 61 The Adult Children 62 The Other Man 64 The Other Women 64 The Left-Behind Adult Son 65 Other Related Respondents 66 Marriage Goals and the Migration Decision 67 Marital Satisfaction, Pre- and Post-migration 69 Living Apart and the Passage of Time 71 Fidelity, Sexuality and Extramarital Relationships 73 Reflections on Marriage and Divorce 77 Childhood Socialization 80 Respect 81 Religion 82 Plans for the Future 83 vii V. THE THEMES THAT EMERGED 85 Introduction 85 The Fictional Story: “Bella Makes Life” 86 The Real Stories: The Study’s Respondents “Make Life” 91 Sexuality 94 The Life Course and the “Young Girl (YG) Phenomenon” 95 Infidelity 99 The Other Woman 104 Love and Affection 107 Respect 108 The Dream House 111 Forgiveness 112 Security 113 Acculturation and the Migration Experience 115 Religion and Divorce 119 Slavery and Culture 124 VI. MARRIAGE JAMAICAN-STYLE: IMPLICATIONS OF THE STUDY 126 The Research Questions 130 Findings 131 Outcomes 134 Future Research Directions 136 Conclusion 138 APPENDIX A: Outcome of Couples Surveyed 139 APPENDIX B: The Questionnaires/Interview Guides 140 viii REFERENCES 151 ix LIST OF TABLES Table 1 Jamaica: Gender Achievement Differences 6 Table 2 Current U.S. Visa Application Details for Jamaica 21 LIST OF FIGURES Figure 1 Individual Respondents (49) 52 Figure 2 Couples Surveyed (25) 53 Figure 3 Couples in Sample (20) 53 x CHAPTER I FIRST MEN, NOW WOMEN: THE STUDY He did not like it in the U.S and was intolerable and miserable when he came” –An immigrant Wife describes her Left-Behind Husband “Me no like America, you hear. The place too impersonal” –A left-Behind Husband describes the United States “She like America – me no bother pay it no mind” –Another left-Behind Husband describes his Wife Introduction This study explores the migration phenomenon in which Jamaican legally-married1 couples live transnationally–wives in the United States, husbands in Jamaica–sometimes for as long as twenty or thirty years without either party seeking a divorce. Either the wife emigrates alone because her husband is unable, or unwilling, to obtain an immigrant visa to accompany her or to join her later; or both spouses emigrate together but the husband soon returns home to Jamaica. The quotations that preface this chapter show the divergence of opinions some Jamaican wives and husbands hold regarding life in the United States: one wife respondent reported that her husband did not even procure a passport, he “didn’t even try.” Jamaican couples report that they jointly decide for the wife to emigrate for the economic improvement of the family. This is not unusual, since Afro-Caribbean2 women are socialized, and culturally expected, to contribute to the maintenance of their families (Senior 1991; D’Amico 1993; Momsen 1993; Safa 1995; Smith 1996). Goode (1963, 193) theorized this 1 Sanctioned by the church and state. Marriage ceremonies are usually performed by an ordained religious minister who is authorized by the state to be a marriage officer as well. 2 Caribbean people of African descent; not synonymous with the broader term, “West Indian,” which refers to the entire English-speaking Caribbean, or Caribbean islands colonized by Britain and includes, in the case of Trinidad and Tobago and Guyana, a sizeable Indo-Caribbean population. 1 practice as an important element of Caribbean family patterns, a cultural throwback from Africa where women worked; in most agricultural tribes the wife produced most or all