Baby Daddy ~~~ Emma Clark Copyright 2013 Emma Clark 1: Hottie

Every bit as sleek and red-hot as his 2002 Camaro, Austin James Montgomery stepped out of his scarlet sports car. And why shouldn't he look hot and amazing? This gorgeous, nineteen-year-old college freshman arrived home for the winter holidays. He'd be staying from December to January the sixteenth. I'd mixed feelings about his living here for a whole month, and some of these feelings I had to suppress—if I wanted to stay married. Um yeah. A duffel bag swayed at Austin's side as he swaggered to the front door. He wore sunglasses, grey cargo shorts, a black T-shirt and leather jacket. He never knew how to dress properly for the season or weather. Why the hell would he wear shorts on such a cold day? I bit my tongue trying not to laugh. Austin's legs probably felt like two blocks of ice. It made me shiver to look at him, though he was beautiful as always. I watched through the window as he swiped off his sunglasses, tucked them in his pocket and poked the doorbell. Music chimed, and my husband Joe went to answer. Meanwhile I stood there like an idiot. Honestly, I never knew what to say when Austin was around. I turned into a flustered moron. It didn't help that I hadn't seen him in four months, and it didn't help that he was an absolute hottie. Masculine laughter echoed. Joe stepped to the side as Austin appeared in the foyer, dropping the duffel bag at his feet. I couldn't help but watch his every movement. As usual Joe didn't notice my interest in his son. Why? Because Joe didn't usually notice me. Once a bashful kid, Austin poised straight and proud as if college life had given him confidence. Six feet tall, toned as hell, perpetually golden-brown skin; the entire drool-worthy package. Short in the back, rich chestnut hair fringed his forehead, blond and feathered at the tips. Yep that was Austin, Joe's son from a previous relationship. In other words, this handsome male specimen was my step-son. Shit. Makes me sound ancient—and I'm only thirty-four, dammit. Austin's cerulean eyes drank in the home's white interior, then shifted my way. His shapely lips parted. Our eyes met and my body tensed. Uh, hi Austin. How've you been? Too bad the polite greeting wouldn't tumble from my lips. Not only had I lost my voice but I got hopelessly lost; captivated by twinkling eyes of dark aqua. Joe must've sensed our uncouth connection. His gaze switched between Austin and me; then he shrugged it off, playfully slapped Austin's back. “Great to see ya, Son. Beth cleaned and fixed up your room so it's all ready.” "Thanks Dad." Austin rubbed his strong, clenched jawline. "I'm gonna watch the football game, so you're welcome to join." Joe's smile collapsed when he turned and headed for the family room. He hurried past as if I weren't there. Same shit. New day.

1 Joe had never been much of an affectionate man, but lately he acted more aloof than ever. Once—just once it'd be nice for Joe to hug me, love me. To have and hold me like he'd once promised. I needed to feel loved and wanted. By coincidence I noticed Austin's gaze on me, those iridescent eyes brightened by the overhead light. “Hi Bethany.” His gaze grew chilly as he gave a curt nod. Austin's emotionless demeanor confused me. His velvety tone made me dizzy. And what the hell was that delicious-smelling cologne he wore? A spicy sort of scent. Damn. "Hi Austin. It's g—good to see you." Please don't pass out. I braced my hand to the wall, steadied myself. He started forward. "Are you alright, Beth? You seem—" "I'm fine, really. I just got dizzy for a second." Heat invaded my face. “Ah, okay then. Anyhow it's good to see you too. I uh, also see you're showing.” He nodded at my stomach. At about six months of pregnancy, my belly resembled a puffed-out balloon that obscured anything below. Anything. I no longer knew what my pussy looked like; I hadn't seen the fuzzy thing in ages. And neither had my husband. “Dr. Levy says the baby's healthy, growing well and everything,” I said. “Did you find out the sex? Dad didn't mention it over the phone.” He crossed his arms. “He didn't?” I shook my head. “I figured Joe would've told you by now." "Nope. He never mentioned one word about it." "We're having a little girl.” I grinned in that fleeting second, pushing aside irritation at Joe. Among other things. “Oh, that's awesome.” Austin tipped his head and his lips curved in a smile. “Have you thought of any names?” “A few. Emily's one of them." His grin widened. Emily was his grandmother's name; he'd spent half his childhood with her. Supposedly he even called her 'Mom'. Austin's real mother left when he was a toddler because she wasn't ready to juggle motherhood's demands. Or anything else. Sadly, Austin's grandmother passed away last year. "Austin," Joe bellowed. "I told you there's a game on. Can't miss this one!" "Sure. Be right there, Dad." Austin offered a final lingering look, eyes darkening like storm clouds. He disappeared in the next room. I hugged myself, peered out the window and remembered the day Austin left for Paden University. The same day he left me alone forever with his father, and all the light disappeared from my life. Just when I thought I'd adjusted, seeing Austin's face again proved otherwise. My husband Joe? I despised him.

2 2: Asshat

The first week rushed by. Austin and I politely avoided each other. In the meantime my asshole husband avoided me as much as he could. Standing next to the kitchen sink, I took a break from washing dishes. Amused, I watched a tummy that tickled and quaked whenever Emily fluttered, stuck out a foot or pummeled my long-suffering ribs. When I did chores I sometimes listened to music, and this minute Britney Spears's Baby One More Time blasted. Still one of my favorites, I'd owned the same CD since its release eons ago. Joe strolled in, unshaven, brown hair messy as if he'd just woken. He'd actually been up since five that morning and now it's noon. He fixed a bloodshot glare at me, folded his arms. Joe's receding hairline seemed to have receded an additional inch, and since October he'd added five pounds to his stocky frame. His weight was pretty average though. Hell, average summed up everything about him. Average looks. Average personality. Average asshat. Yep. That was my Joe. "Turn that shit down," he barked, referring to the CD player on the corner hutch. "You're too old to be listening to that shit anyway. In case you haven't noticed, you're not twenty years old anymore." Joe smirked. I capped my burning rage. Didn't want to give him the satisfaction. And—I didn't budge to turn down the volume. Austin lurked beyond the kitchen, looking troubled as he peered in. Joe obviously hadn't a clue that his son stood behind him; therefore he continued his silly tirade. "Since you're not gonna turn it down, I'll do it for you." He went and jabbed the volume control on the device. Britney's resonating voice faded to an occasional squeak. "There. That's better," he said. I stayed composed. Joe faced me, chuckling and gloating. "Bet you wish you were still twenty, eh? That why you listen to trash like that? To relive your lost youth or some bullshit?" "Yes Joe," I calmly stated, though tears threatened beneath the surface. "That's why I listen to trash like this. Exactly why. I wish I could do it all over again. I'd do certain things differently." That irked him. And when Austin emerged, Joe's glare followed him to the sound system. Austin flicked up the volume and the end of Baby One More Time exploded. A smile erupted on my face. I beamed it directly at Joe because now I was gloating. He grimaced, shot a glance at Austin. Austin stopped the CD player and turned to his father. "So... let me get this straight. You're gonna dictate what kind of music Beth can listen to? Are you really gonna go there? Are you gonna try to control what songs she listens to because you think she's too old? What the fuck?" He wildly gestured to me. "Watch your goddamn language," Joe said.

3 "I'll watch my goddamn language after you explain this to me. What makes you think you can control your wife?" "Careful, Son. I'm the one paying your college tuition." "Oh, okay. Now you're gonna use your wallet as a weapon. That's just like you, Dad. It really is. It's how you operate and you never disappoint." Austin's mouth spread to an amused, nonchalant grin. "Did you hear what I said?" Joe shouted, half-astonished. "Yes Dad, I heard you." Austin got in Joe's face. "And now I want you to hear me. You will not control your wife. You will not dictate what music she can or can't listen to. Got it? Don't be a dick to Beth. She doesn't deserve it." Joe grunted. "Is that so? How do you know so much about Beth? Huh?" I froze. Gooseflesh trailed my spine. "For Christ's sake! We spent three years living under the same roof. Besides, anyone who knows Beth can plainly see what a great, caring person she is. But I guess someone as blind as you wouldn't notice." "A little too invested in Beth, aren't you? Why is that?" Joe's frown deepened his facial creases. He stroked his bristly chin with two fingers. Undeterred, Austin sustained eye contact and spoke slowly to emphasize his point. "Listen Dad. I'm not too invested in Beth or her happiness. I only want you to get along. I care about both of you. I want to see both of you happy, and if Beth's not happy, then you're not going to be. At least—I wouldn't think so. Right?" "Mm-hm." Suspicion clouded Joe's features; then he wagged his head and retreated. Diminishing footsteps pounded the hallway. Austin regarded me with a satisfied smirk. "Don't listen to him. You're not too old to listen to Britney Spears." He switched on the CD player. "And to me, you look like you're eighteen... except you're much prettier than any eighteen-year-old girl I know." He flashed a sexy wink. Narrow hips suggestively swiveled as he strutted off, ass cheeks nice and firm under his white jeans. Awash with feelings ranging from desire to fury, I gaped after him and clasped my hands below my gut. It wasn't the first time Austin had defended me. It probably wouldn't be the last. He'd been blessed with an endearing, charming, protective nature. To know him truly was to love him. Along with that hot, tight ass. Emily punted, snapping me to the present. All this frenzied movement from a tiny girl produced by immaculate conception. Heh, some immaculate conception. I'd tried to get pregnant since the beginning, and Joe and I got married three years ago. We got along during the first two years, but months before I conceived, Joe and I began to drift apart. After I became pregnant, Joe distanced himself further as if suspecting the truth about my baby's paternity. How the hell could he know? Was there some indication in my eyes or mannerism that betrayed the secret? Someday I might have to confess. I dreaded it. That'd be the day our marriage would officially end, and the thought of such a change terrified me. Conversely, some changes were good. Maybe this change would be good. Scary, yes, but good...? Damn, I gotta stop thinking about this shit. Seriously. It's fucking with my head. Furthermore, I refused to face the possibility that Joe and I were never right for each other. Not even from the beginning.

4 3: Temptation

On December the twenty-third I wanted to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Yeah, way last-minute. I allowed this shit to happen every single year. As the younger generation would say: 'facepalm.' Joe left for work earlier (crap factory job). His holiday break wouldn't start until tomorrow, which majorly pissed him off. For a change I didn't blame him. I needed to get a gift for Austin. But I didn't ask what he wanted because he'd only say, "I dunno. It doesn't matter. Get me whatever you want." Plus I didn't really want to talk to Austin. Doing so made me uncomfortable and brought raw, upsetting emotions to the surface. That's why I kept avoiding him and likely why he avoided me; except for the incident in the kitchen. Neither of us wanted to deal with it. Yeah. Austin and I had our issues. For the longest time he was like a son to me; sweet as sugar, kind and loving. Not a typical teenaged boy. Well, not entirely. Austin had his moments of secrecy. Typical teen behavior; namely his past semi-addiction to porn sites. One site in particular was called Older Women Hot Lovers or something to that silly effect. When he was seventeen, I went in his room to borrow his laptop because my hard drive crashed and burned. Apparently Austin had forgotten to close the aforementioned site. The screen displayed shocking amateur photos of nude women; their—surprisingly—fabulous bodies twisted in lewd positions. They looked to be in their thirties and early forties. I decided not to use his laptop. I met Austin when he was sixteen and his father was forty. Shy, respectful, Austin never gave me a hard time. Never misbehaved or acted out due to my relationship with his father. After Austin turned eighteen, something dramatically changed between us. But that's another story. Presently I hurried around the master bathroom, stealing glances in the mirror, running a brush through my spirals of dark hair. I slipped on a maternity dress that resembled a floral tent. How lovely. Not. Sudden remorse confronted me as I stared at my reflection. At times it was hard to face myself knowing what I'd done. On the other hand, Joe had driven me to it. And he was still driving me to it. I fought and fought to keep from cheating on him. But loneliness ate at my soul and each day the dilemma became harder to hide. Harder to deal with. I sucked it up, grabbed my purse and headed out. Life went on. It had to. As I waddled down the hallway toward the front door, I literally ran into Austin. Yes. Literally. Oh. My. God. This isn't happening. Squashed against my gorgeous step-son, my big belly cushioned his tight stomach for indeterminable minutes. Too many minutes. Uh-huh. Isn't that terrific or what? Nope. Not under these particular circumstances.

5 Heat flooded my cheeks. I didn't know what do; I stayed wedged to him like super glue, my face buried in his chest. Heavy, god-awful silence permeated the corridor. All I heard was Austin's ragged breathing. Then—then Austin's warm hand slid up my back and rested between my shoulders. His other arm encircled my waist. Austin was holding me. Actually holding me! No, Austin. No no no. Not now. Yes yes yes, Austin. Yes right now. Please, I need you, my sweet, beautiful loving step-son. My sweet handsome... Our connection broke as Austin backed up. That was quick. "I—I'm sorry, Beth. Are you okay?" His hand went to cover his mouth. "I never meant to hurt you," he mumbled through his fingers. "It's okay, Austin, really. I'm alright." No, dammit, I'm not. "You sure?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. "What about the baby?" "She's fine. Perfectly safe inside me." I tried to smile. Failed miserably. He approached and tentatively placed his hand on my swollen middle, just above my puckered belly button. We bonded; and vivid, lurid memories rushed back of our single night together. A night six or seven months earlier. We'd bonded then, too. Very closely. Austin swung me up into his arms... as if all those months of separation hadn't happened. Like we loved each other, as if our one-night stand wasn't based on lust. For me it was never about lust. It was about having needs ultimately met by a younger guy. A man exuding sex appeal and possessing the stamina of a stallion. A hot young stud who could fuck like a prize-winning race horse. Oh yeah. God, how I fantasized about that night for months. How I finger-fucked myself into rapturous oblivion, crying out for Austin whenever Joe wasn't here. Alright. So I guess part of it was—indeed—lust. Either way, wasn't I entitled to sex and affection once in a blue-violet-red moon? God damn it, I'm only human. Yet sometimes I experienced guilt that ripped me apart; at least whenever I allowed myself to go there. Otherwise I buried it within my conscience and continued to finger-fuck myself. Right or wrong. Austin kissed the top of my head, cradling my face between his palms. He made me feel alive, and it was nice returning to the land of the living. Particularly after being dead inside for so long. Tenderly he held me, swaying my body in our private dance. Lost in the quiet, I basked in the heat of his love. Falling, veering closer to the irresistible adulterous trap. Closer. Closer. "Beth," Austin whispered. "I missed you. Honest to god, I hated being away from you." He placed two fingers beneath my chin and lifted my face. "You were all I thought about the whole time. I couldn't concentrate worth a shit on my studies. I know this is wrong, but I don't know if I care anymore." Closer. Closer. I blinked. Austin had missed me? I found that hard to believe. We'd barely spoken two words to each other since our night together. But—oh god—how he tempted me with such words. Words I'd needed to hear from Joe. Confessions that, perhaps, I'd only ever hear from Joe's son. This possibility jolted me. I squirmed out of his arms. "Uh, I gotta go. I need to finish up some Christmas shopping." "Okay. You mind if I come with you then?" he asked, his gaze firm, determined. I didn't answer. Couldn't. I peered past Austin's shoulder to the living room, and the large bay window behind the crimson sofa. Snowfall created a thick curtain of white. Probably too dangerous to drive in this weather, but shit, I had to get 6 Austin something. I couldn't stand the thought of not having anything to give on Christmas morning, though he wasn't exactly a child. Definitely not. Far from it. "It's snowing heavily. I think it'd be better if you drove," I suggested. "We can take your dad's old SUV if you want." Austin nodded, lips twitching as if withholding a smile. "What were you thinking of buying? I mean—don't you think it's kinda late to be holiday shopping?" "Uh yeah. But you know how I am, Austin. You know I put everything off until the last possible minute." He nodded, beamed another shy smile that drove me insane and cast tingles throughout my mid-section. In other words his sexy smile made me horny as hell. Closer. Closer. I fidgeted, glanced at him. I found him staring at me, but he shifted his gaze elsewhere. Our fleeting glances reminded me of a silly game played between a child and her first crush. We left the house and plodded through mounds of snow, carefully approaching the ebony SUV. Apparently not careful enough since I stumbled. Austin lurched forward and gracefully caught me. "For shit's sake, Beth, you need to be more cautious because of the baby. We have to take care of her, and you need to take care of yourself." Take care of myself? What did that mean? I nodded trying to thank him but my throat closed. Unexpected tears filled my eyes; tears cold as ice in the freezing temperature. Austin, however, warmed me considerably. Warmer. Hotter. Torture. He could make me hot and torture me as much as he wished. I didn't mind. At least the devilish side of me didn't. My virtuous side argued something different. But I was getting sick to death of that side. Sick of being a good girl. Sick of pretending my marriage was fine. Sick of hiding my true self; who I was and who I wanted to be. Gazing up at him, I relaxed in the safety of his embrace, pressed my cheek to his broad chest. His arms tightened around my waist. Snuggled together, I heard the thudding of his heart, drumming faster in a rhythm that matched mine. Peering at me with blazing intensity, Austin toyed with my hair, brushed loose strands from my face, then gently thumbed my cheek. Dangerous, teasing when his lips lowered and almost touched mine. Almost. Austin, Austin. You're making me fall in love with you. A glance in your eyes, a feathery brush of your lips gives me a lifetime worth of chills. So kiss me. Please. He didn't, and I didn't express a twinge of disappointment. Disappointment was something I'd grown accustomed to. God. How would the drive go? While the idea thrilled me it caused trepidation as well. It'd take at least thirty minutes to get to town. What the hell would I say in that thirty minutes? Guess I'd find out. The huge, bulky SUV sped down the highway. Snow layered the flat, sprawling landscape in ivory, shimmering and bright despite lack of sunlight. White powdered icy tree limbs. Christmas. My favorite holiday since I was a kid, but as an adult it no longer held that same magic. Until today. "Remember when we spent that weekend at Dad's cabin?" Austin tapped the steering wheel with his thumb. "Sure, right after I married Joe. What of it?" "I was thinking maybe it would be a good place for us to talk." For a split second he glanced at me. 7 "I don't know, Austin. I really need to get this one last gift." Good god, will you stop tempting me already? "This won't take long. Alright?" I sighed. "Okay. When we get there, you're not gonna analyze me or something, are you?" It was a half-joke since Austin was working toward his degree in psychology. "Yes. Err—something." He winked, and I wondered exactly what he had planned for us. The possibilities intrigued yet terrified me. Naughty lovemaking fantasies captured my imagination. I'm losing it again. Please make it stop. But it wouldn't. Ever. Stop. My heart defied my common sense. Austin's flirtatious demeanor stirred me in a thousand ways. It felt good to be wanted, flirted with, and after months of isolation I reveled in Austin's attention. When he took a detour on a country road leading to the cabin, Austin inched his hand to my side. His longer fingers threaded with mine. Our affection for each other seemed natural, and my fears vanished after he squeezed my hand. Austin swerved the SUV to a stop at the roadside. Snow drifts formed a petite wall outside the window. In this desolate area vehicles were few and far. He swiveled around, grabbed my shoulder and his lips smacked mine in a forceful, heart-melting kiss. Craving deeper access, his mouth pried wider, tongue demanding a taste as hungry growls rumbled in his throat. Closer. Closest. Warmer. Hotter. Yes, yes I remember this—this incredible feeling. Oh my god, Austin, you're truly an amazing lover. This kissing intensified, both of us in the grips of pure animal lust. Austin took a handful of my hair and gently tugged, tipping my head. His lips trailed scorching paths down my throat, neck, nipping up to my earlobe where he licked. Time stopped; reality ceased to exist, followed by an alternate reality where no one could get hurt by our actions. Including ourselves. He withdrew, moaning, lips pouty and red. His taste lingered on my tongue. "I hate this," he said with a pained grimace. "I hate doing this to Dad. For fuck's sake, you're his wife. Not mine." Brief pause. "But—I wish you were mine. I can't help it. God knows I've tried." He reached for my hand again. "I know. I don't want to hurt him either, no matter how much he pisses me off." Austin slumped in his seat, shaking and holding his head. "Shit, Beth. What are we gonna do?" His troubled eyes found mine. "I'll be honest with you. I don't want to be without you. I can't go back to college thinking we'll never be together. I can't fucking deal with it anymore." Left speechless, I struggled to think of a suitable response. A lump formed in my throat. I palmed the sides of my round stomach and Emily kicked. "Beth?" "Yeah?" "What should we do?" "I don't know, Austin. You think because I'm thirty-something that I know what I'm doing? Well I don't. I'm clueless. I don't know any better than you do." I was surprised at the venom in my tone. Where was this anger coming from? Dismayed, he bowed his head. "That's not the answer I wanted." "Then what answer were you looking for?" "Fuck it. Enough of this bullshit, just tell me the truth," he said, gaze firm. "The baby's mine, isn't she?" Silence. "Isn't she? Answer me, Beth. I'm not stupid so don't treat me like I am. I'm not some sixteen-year-old schoolboy who—" 8 "Yes, yes. Emily's your daughter," I rasped, barely able to choke out the words. "I knew it." He smacked the steering wheel. I winced. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? Why'd you let Dad believe the baby's his?" "Because I didn't want to hurt him. I thought if I could keep it a secret, I'd spare everyone a shit-ton of grief. Now do you understand? I shouldn't have to explain it." "I don't want to hurt him either like I said, but I had a right to know Emily's mine. You should've told me. And Dad has the right to know she's not his." "He does have the right to know, and I'm sorry, very sorry I never told you the truth. I've just been confused. A lot's been happening and I haven't been thinking straight." "Alright." He sighed. "But we still need to figure out what to do." "Meaning?" "Meaning—you need to tell Dad the baby's mine." No. No way in hell. "Beth, you have to tell him. This shit's been going on long enough." "When do you suggest I do this?" "Soon." He swept the dark, disheveled hair from his attractive eyes, revealing his arched brows and tanned forehead. "Maybe—maybe tonight." "Tonight?" His expression hardened. "You're gonna tell him, Beth. Sure he'll be hurt at first, but it'll be better for everyone in the long run." His tone hinted of desperation as well as anger. There was no further room for argument. Not once had he ever demanded anything from me; not until now. It was a side of Austin that I could certainly live without; even though deep down I knew he was right. Right about everything. Joe needed the truth. No more bullshit. Austin pressed the gas and tires screeched as the vehicle returned to the highway. Within a matter of minutes, he and I would be alone at his father's isolated cabin. A new sense of fear chilled me to the core. Why? What or whom did I have to be afraid of? Surely not Austin. Surely not Joe.

9 4: Heartbeat

A snow-camouflaged trail led up an incline to the one-story cabin, where Austin parked the SUV and shut off the ignition. I surveyed the property through the filmy windshield. Joe's cabin—tucked among a dense patch of evergreens—was a small structure fashioned with logs. Behind the cabin, a frozen pond shimmered in the far distance. Joe had inherited the land from his father, who used it as a vacation retreat during summer and hunting spot in winter. Snow flurries showered, glittered, drifted in the bitter breeze. Austin looped an arm around me, leading me to the splintered front door. He clutched my upper arm to help keep me from slipping on random ice patches. Once inside, I collapsed on the sofa while Austin found matches and used them to light the stone fireplace. I wrinkled my nose at the hideous sight of the dusty, plaid couch, along with the sudden, strong odor of burning wood. Flames crackled in the hearth and warmed the room. An orange glow reflected on the plain walls, mingling with scattered shadows. And, its presence intimidating, a tarnished shotgun hung above the mantel. Austin took a seat and put his hand on my bare knee. My gaze immediately snapped to his. Say something, Austin. He seemed reluctant to talk. Meanwhile I couldn't stand the silence. "What else did you want to talk about?" I stupidly asked. Austin palmed my cheeks. His riveting stare set me on edge. "I've been wanting to tell you this since—almost the first day I met you," he quietly said. I swallowed, closed my eyes, anticipating. "Beth, I think—I think I love you." I love you. That tender declaration rang in my ears, drowned out misgivings and regrets. "I care about you. I've cared about you for years. And I hate to admit it, but I never thought Dad deserved to have you." He stroked my face, traced my lips. "Jesus, Beth, I've been dyin' to touch you again. Being away for months drove me fuckin' crazy. You don't know how many nights I lay awake thinking about you. How many nights I dreamed about you. Those nights I had to jerk off so I could forget you, but it didn't work. I had to get myself off again, again and again. Still didn't work." I could certainly empathize with that. Relaxed, comforted by Austin's touch, I kept my eyelids sealed. I sensed heat as he neared, pressed my lips with his. Sensuous twinges quickened my pulse, enticed me to abandon caution. "I love you. Oh god yes, I really love you." His tongue criss-crossed my throat, flicking, dabbing, teasing. "Let me touch you. Just one more touch, one more kiss and I promise I'll be satisfied." Austin's hand cupped my head, pulled me closer. His mouth found the side of my neck and snared the sensitive skin, nipped and sucked till it hurt. More and more this endless agony turned me on. Stuck in a hellish, heavenly mix of pleasure and pain, I whimpered and yielded to his wandering fingers, tongue, lips.

10 "You're beautiful, pretty, especially now that you're pregnant. I need to be inside you, feel you. I need to feel your tight pussy squeezing my cock." He begged in whispers, pleaded amidst soft kisses, lured me to his beautifully set trap. "Been so long, baby. Let me show you how much I love you." "I need you, Beth. Need you, want you, love you." He'd opened his heart, confessed his most vulnerable feelings. What could I possibly say that would compare? That's when I realized my own true feelings. Feelings I'd kept locked in my conscience as I hid a painful reality from someone. That certain someone, of course, was Joe. It was time to face the truth—for me, for Joe, for Austin; for everyone involved in this elaborately spun, maddening web of deceit. "I love you, Austin." Four words which made tears erupt and streak my cheeks. I repeated it over and over, unable to stop; then I collapsed in his embrace. There we remained on the ugly old sofa where Austin held and rocked me as if I were a child. As if he were the older one. His soothing lips loved away my tears, hesitant hands massaged my shoulders, easing lower, urging me to return his intimate caresses. I did. Oh, dear god forgive me; I did. Austin stood and gathered me up, effortlessly sweeping me off my feet to cradle me. I clung to his shoulders, and a weightless sensation met my stomach while he swung me, making his way toward the hallway. It didn't take a genius to figure out where he was headed. "I think it's time to visit the bedroom. Time to give you what my father won't," he whispered, breaths whooshing in my ear. He nibbled, sucked my earlobe. "I hope you want me as much as I want you, because you're getting it either way." Nibble. Suck. Lick. I nodded, unable to resist, wanting exactly what he wanted and desiring what he desired. Flashbacks sparked visions of the first time we made love; when a longing forlorn look passed between us, and intoxicated by sexual chemistry, we exchanged silent but understood pleas. It happened after Joe left for an entire week, visiting relatives in Illinois. But it didn't just happen. Signals and flirting had passed between Austin and me for months, leading to shameless moments in Austin's bedroom. Shameless yet shameful. He had a twin-sized bed but that's all we needed. It got the job done. His bed could shake, squeak and I could scream, cry out however much I needed. No one else could hear. And I definitely screamed and cried. That's how extraordinary it was. That's how Austin made me feel; how he always made me feel. He fulfilled me in ways which Joe seemed incapable of. We had the kind of relationship I'd dreamed about since childhood. I just never dreamed I'd find my Prince Charming in a man so much younger. Austin carried me inside the bedroom; a dim, cramped space with hardly enough room for the queen-sized bed. He kicked the door shut behind us, then gingerly laid me on the mattress. Gentle as if I were irreplaceable china. Sitting by, he slowly, slowly dipped and kissed me. His mouth tasted delicious, his tongue slippery as it glided in, glided out, glided in. I extended my tongue and he sucked it in, sucking in suggestive rhythms. Consumed by greed, I circled an arm behind his neck and nudged him for a deeper kiss. Deeper, deeper; oh god yes. Exactly how I like it, how I want it. Keep going, baby. And we weren't even having sex. He positioned on all fours, backside slanted so his lips could meet mine. Austin's alluring lips manipulated, caressed, grazed my neck, cheek, forehead, migrated to the other side to repeat the ritual... as if he couldn't stop tasting or satisfy his hunger.

11 I couldn't stop tasting either and my hunger for him peaked. Breathless, gasping, I grabbed the back of his silky, sweet-smelling hair and jerked. Unfazed and horny as ever, his kisses grew harsher, brutal and wild in his passionate attack. Pitiful cries and moans eluded his lungs, alternating with rapid sips of air, hands which groped, desperate kisses which left my mouth raw. If we continued this frenzy we could succumb to fatal injuries. Not that I cared. I was enjoying it too much. "Beth, I love you so much. I love you... love you..." Kissing. Groping. Tongue stroking. "I love you—sweet Christ, I can't stop saying it. I can't stop..." Austin's erection caused an enormous swelling that strained the crotch of his jeans. It looked truly painful. "Please, baby. I want you, need you." He inserted his finger in my panties, lightly massaged my slit. My nipples and clit tightened with unleashed, heightened sensation. "Damn, you're wet as hell." His fingertip traced my vaginal opening. "I think you're ready for me." No shit! I bit my lip, thrashing. "Does this feel good?" he asked, fingering my pussy's engorged folds. "Want more, baby? Oh, I promise I'll give you more. A hulluva lot more." Using leisurely motions, he raised upright, peeled off my panties. He slid his hands beneath my dress, hiked it until my breasts popped into view. Austin's tongue explored and eased from navel to nipples, flicked and sucked from left to right, puckering my nipples into towering pink buds. Milky beads gathered and Austin lapped it up. He suckled, suckling hard while he groaned and groped the sides of my breasts, his mouth going after my tits as if starving for actual sustenance. My heart rate tripled as blood rushed to my clitoris. If he didn't stop soon I'd reach climax, and first I needed to feel his length inside me. The anticipation was killing me. Thankfully Austin left the bed. He posed perfectly straight, his gaze lusty and ravenous as he reached for the buttons of his shirt. Nimble fingers flew across those buttons until the shirt loosened, showing his broad shoulders. Standing with his shirt gaped—complete with bronzed skin and ridged abs—he reminded me of a male model cut straight from a magazine. He also could've been a male stripper. I practically salivated. Eyeing me, Austin whipped off his shirt. He unzipped, tugged down his jeans, exposing a gigantic hard-on that bobbed when he stepped forward. A hard-on that appeared quite ready; the thickened shaft aimed upward, and pre-cum glistened on the tip. Yep, he was ready to blow. The sight shocked me, for it'd been months since I'd witnessed his cock. It'd been forever since I'd seen any cock. Austin should be proud, his monstrous prick must've been seven or eight inches in length. Hugely wide too, including cum potent enough to get me pregnant the first time. Austin touched the head of his cock, placed the moistened finger on his lips and grinned as he licked his pre-cum. God. Get over here and fuck me. Fuck me now. He drifted to the bed's edge, lowered, then gripped my forearms to help me onto his thighs. I straddled him. He lifted off my dress, tossed it in the corner. Austin leered at me, his lascivious, white smile like the Cheshire cat's. Mmm. Just as I returned his naughty grin, he clutched the sides of my waist, lunged and gave my pussy every luscious hot inch. His body released a series of violent, punishing thrusts. My breasts and stomach jiggled as I bounced, his frantic actions dizzying, painful and incredibly arousing. "Ah, ah, ah, oh, oh, fuck, baby, fuck yes." He grunted, fucking with haste. Fucking with unrelenting cruelty, his cock nailed me like a jackhammer as if he hadn't fucked in forever and couldn't gain gratification—no matter how fast or hard he went.

12 Cinching my waistline, he coaxed me up and down in unison with his upthrusts. He leaned backward, giving his cock enough room for longer strokes. In this position it rammed so deeply that sharp pangs radiated. Creak creak creak went the mattress. "Oh, Beth," he shouted through reddened lips, hair tousled, boyish head tilted and adam's apple bulging. "Oh, oh, oh." Banging. Banging. Banging. Good lord. I'd forgotten how energetic Austin was. He refreshed my memory quite vividly. "Is it good?" He moaned, ribbons of sweat trickling to his sealed eyes, hips pumping. "I wanna give it to you good... wanna satisfy—satisfy you... ah ah oh oh, sweet, almighty fuck this feels AMAZING." "Yes it feels amazing, Austin." "Oh god I don't wanna come yet. No, no, no." He rose slightly, seized my upper arms, pivoted and laid me flat on the mattress as he climbed on top. He disengaged during the shift in position. Austin cupped his cock and drove forth. I flinched, yelped at the sheer roughness of his impaling. He clutched the sheet on each side, and his biceps flexed while he boosted himself above my stomach, dipping his pelvis to keep his cock buried inside me. My legs locked around his narrow waist. Unforgiving, vengeful brutality resumed. I winced with every thrust of his hips, dragged my nails along his shoulders and detected moisture. Blood. "Ah, Beth, I wish—I could stay inside you. Fill you with cum again and again." Banging. Slamming. "Baby, I'd never get out of bed." Joined bodies writhed, struggled, shuddered. I cinched his thighs within my legs as a signal to slow his moves. I didn't want this to end. He didn't slow down. He fucked faster. My legs weren't strong enough to halt him. The more I tried, the rougher he fucked. "Oh Beth!" His cries pitched to a crescendo along with his banging. His sweaty, gleaming hips crashed into me without mercy or pause. "Come on, baby. I wanna get you off, satisfy you. Give you the ultimate fuck of your life." Austin's slams elevated me to a sweltering precipice. My clit spasmed in exquisite release. Flailing, twisting from head to toe, I stabbed my nails into his flesh, wept and whined in our shared moment of euphoria. "Oh, oh fuck, I feel you coming." Austin crept forward, pushed and jammed the head of his cock to my innermost depths, grinding his pelvis and enhancing the climactic impact, bringing me to heights so high I thought I'd never return to earth. Torturous sensations started deep in my pussy and flared throughout. That blinding, crushing orgasm dwindled and initially settled me into a tranquil state. Austin's cock tensed. "No, godammit! Don't come." He gasped, paused in mid-thrust, held in his climax. Stubborn and determined to prolong our inevitable departure, prolong our fantastic torture—before the actual torture begins. "Oh, oh, god hell no. Shit. Here it comes—" His cock stiffened, expanded. Austin's body shifted to turbo and he thrust and fucked in hellish fury, panting, rattling the bed frame. Pulses vibrated my pussy as his cock spewed and spewed. And spewed. "Yes! Christ, yes. Fuck, fuck. Almighty FUCK." He shouted through his orgasm, pounding in crushing speed. "Damn, Beth... Sweet Jesus! Oh oh oh oh oh oh. I love you, I love you. I love you." I closed my eyes, listened. Austin's shouts faded. He exhaled a shaky sigh, pulled out and flopped next to me. Disappointment shadowed his features. He draped an arm over his eyes. "I wish it'd lasted longer," he said. "It'd never be long enough. Not even if you lasted three hours." 13 He snorted. "Shit. I wish I could last three hours." You and me both. But alas, our sex session was over. Done. Now we had to face whatever came next. I had to face Joe with the horrid truth, then brace myself for the consequences. Potential consequences of which Austin and I hadn't discussed. I rolled to the side, tucked an arm beneath my head and gazed at Austin. "Austin?" "Hm?" "What's going to happen to us? I mean—what if Joe stops paying your tuition or something? I'd hate for that to happen." "Whatever it takes. He can do whatever he wants because as long as I'm with you, nothing else matters. I can easily get a job and pay for my own education. You know? What's the point in worrying about it? I just want to be with you, Beth. I want to take care of our baby. Screw everything else." He lowered his arm, shrugged and turned his head to meet my gaze. "What if we're not making the right decision?" If we weren't, however, I didn't want to know about it. Ignorance truly was bliss. "I know what's in my heart," he said. "You know what's in yours. We'll go from there. What else can we do? Like I said—I want us to be together. I've wanted it since I was sixteen years old and I'll be damned if I wait any longer." Sixteen? Wow. "You're right. Nothing else matters except you and me." "You, me, and the baby," he corrected. "Can't forget about our Emily." "Like I could forget. She reminds me every time she dances on my bladder, or shoves a foot under my rib." "I can only imagine." A smile played at Austin's lips. He slipped an arm past my shoulder, and nudged until my head rested on his bare chest. A momentary, unnerving silence pervaded. Further worrisome thoughts filled my head. "I dread telling Joe about us." "I know but it has to be done. He'd find out sooner or later about Emily. You know this as well as I do. Not to be a selfish prick, but I've loved you for three years and if I can deal with that, I'm sure Dad will be alright. Anyhow he doesn't love you like I do." "Yeah." "He doesn't, Beth. He never has and he never will." "Okay, Austin. Enough with the brutal honesty." "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Sometimes I get carried away." "It's okay. I get it." And I did. I understood how emotions tend to take control and make someone speak without forethought. Regardless... que sera sera. Whatever will be, will certainly be. We can't stop fate, any more than I can stop myself from falling in love with Austin. I stole his hand and placed it on my tummy. We watched Emily's activity while I basked in the afterglow of awesome sex, our serious talk and the knowledge that Austin and I would stay together. Hopefully forever. Que sera sera.

14 5: Daddy's Home

I woke to strange music. Sounded like a call or text signal from Austin's mobile phone. The jingle cut short, and I cracked an eyelid to scan this teensy room bathed in shadows. Weird. Nothing seemed familiar. Nothing. And why was it so damn cold? Vapor emitted with each exhaled breath. Sitting upright, I rubbed my eyes and blinked. Again I observed the rustic, musty, firewood-stench ambience; and that's when it hit me. Joe's cabin. I sat there with my gaze fixed to the bedroom door. Uh I seriously, seriously think it's time to go. Afraid to move. Scared to utter a sound. And, of all times I had to use the goddamn bathroom. Oh my fuck. Shit. Shit! How long have we been here? A hasty look out the window confirmed my fear. Darkened snow frosted the pane and a full moon distantly hovered. Fuck me. Yes I wanted Joe to know about my relationship with his son. No I didn't want him to find out this way. Anything but this way. I threw on my dress, scurried to the door, hesitated and glanced behind. Austin's silhouette lay cocooned within the black comforter, muscular arms curled over his handsome head. Mobile phone didn't wake him so I'd have to. "Austin! Get up!" He snored, snorted, then flopped to his side and resumed sleeping. I palmed my forehead. Confusion muddled my thinking. "Eh, Bethany—Beth?" he mumbled, rising upon the mattress. The quilt fell and revealed his six-pack, sweat-stained from our romp. "Baby, were you hollering a second ago?" I fought to stay composed, though icy shivers shot along my legs. "Austin, we have to go. Now." Something must've tripped his mental alarms as well. He jumped to his feet, scrambled for his clothes and dressed in a fast, clumsy manner. Feathery hair swayed on his forehead as he rushed, and nearly toppled getting into his jeans. He scooped up his mobile phone and met me near the doorway. "Austin, Joe's gonna kill us. He's gonna kill us. I know he is." That choking bubble of panic rose to my throat and stopped my breathing. I grasped and clawed the fabric of Austin's half-buttoned shirt. "I don't know what to do! What—" He snatched my forearms and stilled them, his tight fists huge in comparison to my stick-thin wrists. I shut up, confused as ever. "Beth, it's alright. Dad won't do anything. I might not like him much but he'd never hurt you. That's not something he'd do. Just—just calm down before you end up hurting the baby." My breathing slowed. Yeah. You're probably right. Joe's never hurt me before. Why would he start now? Austin's sensible, level-headed statement brought to light my irrational fears and squelched them. For now.

15 Austin released me. He placed my hand in his and questioned me with his gaze. "Remember what we planned to tell him? We were supposed to tell him tonight. I hope you haven't changed your mind on me, Beth. I love you. I can't—" "Oh no. God no, I haven't changed my mind. I just saw how late it was, kinda went nuts and panicked." I forced a grin that likely resembled a stupid half-assed smirk. Nevertheless he cinched my hand, caressed my cheek and pecked me on the lips. "Okay. Let's go." He led me by the hand through the doorway. After a few steps he halted. Concern flickered in his eyes. Now what? "I think it'd be better if we call him before leaving the cabin. Since we've been out so long, he might suspect something's going on. We should tell him now—just to get it the hell over with." Austin's quaking hand stole into his jeans pocket and fished out his mobile. I gulped, staved off fresh panic. Christ, Beth. Get hold of yourself. This isn't the end of the world. This is an awesome new beginning, and you're closer to living the kind of life you've dreamed of. A life without loneliness, filled with plenty of love, affection and explosive sex. Get it together. Even as I scolded myself I couldn't stop worrying. Call it intuition. Call it whatever the hell you wanted. A noisy clatter startled me. Austin's phone skidded on the hard wood floor, and he himself seemed disoriented. Austin rotated to me, his complexion paled. "I checked that earlier text. It came from Dad," he said in a tight voice. "Beth, he said he's on his way to the cabin. He knows we're here." "Huh? How?" Austin wagged his head and threw his hands in the air. "When did he leave?" "Twenty minutes ago. He could show up any second." My legs weakened. And—past the hallway and beyond the fireplace mantel, I noticed an empty spot on the wall. Something should've been hanging there. My mind drew a blank and couldn't recollect the missing object. Austin started for the front room. I followed, paused at the end of the corridor, and blood drained from my face. With only the back of his brown hair visible, someone perched on the sofa. "Joe?" I asked. He didn't move. "Joe?" Still nothing. I tossed a glance at Austin. He shrugged, clutched my hand to lure me in the living area. But god I didn't want to go in there. Did. Not. Want. He pretty much had to drag me. Close enough to glimpse Joe's rigid, scary profile, I forced myself not to flee. Particularly when I saw him cradling the tarnished shotgun. The same shotgun missing from the wall. "Dad?" Austin said, skirting ahead to confront his father. "Why are you holding that shotgun?" Eyes blank, staring, Joe sat unmoving. Austin's gaze found mine and he nodded toward the corridor, pleading for me to get out of here. Too bad my legs wouldn't work. Damn muscles locked and all I could do was watch this train wreck. Austin's eyes flared. He lifted his arm and pointed. "Beth, get in the goddamn bedroom. And grab my phone while you're at it." 16 "I can't." "Why?" "I can't move." Just then Joe came alive. Or at least his mouth did. "When did it start?" I feared answering his question. So I asked, "When did what start?" "You know. When did you start fucking my son?" His grip tightened on the barrel. I regarded Austin for help. "Dad," he said, nervous gaze darting between us. "Honest to god, we didn't want you to find out like this. We planned to tell you tonight. And—uh, now can you tell me why you're holding the shotgun? I really, really think you should give it to me." Joe slowly shook his head. Frustrated, Austin bowed his head and raked his fingers through his hair. Soft strands stood erect, wild. "Jesus Christ, Dad. Beth's six months pregnant. Get rid of the fucking gun," he exploded, face flushed. "Six months?" Joe released a bitter chuckle. "More like seven months. I'm not a dumb-ass." Austin and I stared at each other. "So you know the baby's mine, and you know when this started," Austin said. "Can you—just give me the shotgun?" He proffered his right hand. "Nope. I'm not a dumb-ass. Something told me this shit was going on. A man knows his wife, knows when she's trying to hide something. So I bought two GPS devices to track Beth's movements. One for the old SUV and one for her car. I knew where she went. What she was doing. Everything." "But—I never dreamed she was fucking my own son. You can imagine my shock when I got home to an empty house, then found the SUV's location." I blinked, wished to god this would end. "Dad, will you listen to me?" "I'm not interested in what you have to say. It's too late for that shit." "No, Dad. It's not." Joe turned to me. His eyes were red, glassy as if—he'd been crying. That astonished me more than anything. Even more than his implied threats of violence. "I guess it didn't seem like it, but I did love you, Beth. Still do. We could've worked on it instead of pissing everything away." Joe elevated the shotgun and clicked it. Exactly what he clicked, I'd no clue. "Austin," I cried. The dim room spun. I took a step backward and lost my balance, tumbled to the floor. Pain went to my stomach. At first I thought I'd been shot. Austin bolted, crouched by and cuddled me against his chest. Shielded me from his father's crazed wrath. "It's okay, baby. You're alright." Brief pause. "God fucking dammit, Dad, knock this shit off and gimme that fucking gun before you hurt someone!" "That's the whole idea." "Dad—" "You have any idea how it feels to find out the love of your life is a whore?" "Dad, stop—" "Do you know how it feels... what it's like to discover your child isn't even yours?" "Shit, Dad, I'm sorry—" "AND do you know how it feels—to find out your own blood betrayed you in such a sick, twisted, fucked-up way? I pray to god you never find out. I'll make it so you never do. And I'll make sure Beth doesn't live to hurt anyone else." 17 "What? You can't be fucking serious." Austin stiffened his embrace. "Everything's pointless. Living's pointless. But I won't be the only one exiting this shit hole of a life. Unless—" An odd quiet ensued. My eyes snapped open. Joe leaned and handed the shotgun to Austin's eager hand. Then the beastly weapon was propped upright next to me, single barrel in Austin's fist. "Empty the shotgun on Beth, and I'll let you live. What's it gonna be, Son?" Austin gaped. "Hurry up. I don't have all goddamn night," Joe said. "You want me to kill your pregnant wife? Do you understand—what you're asking me to do?" "Yes. Do it." Numbness dulled my senses and filled me with apathy. It was a damn good thing considering the situation. "Dad, I'm sorry for everything I've done to you," Austin softly said. "Truly, truly sorry. But don't make me do this. Don't... because I'd rather kill myself than hurt Beth." Joe said nothing. "Is that what you want me to do? Kill myself? 'Cause I'll do it. What I won't do, as I said, is hurt Beth." "Then kill yourself. After that I'll kill Beth. Doesn't make no goddamn difference to me." Austin blew out a sigh. "All right." That alerted my brain and body into action. I hoisted to a standing position. However, Austin nodded and the expression on his face hinted, 'Trust me.' He motioned behind. Following his prompt, I backed up to the fireplace and waited. Then I prayed to almighty god that Austin knew what he was doing. "I love you, Dad. I'm sorry." Austin rose to his feet, crying, holding the shotgun by its barrel. He raised it, balanced the end below his shoulder, aimed and— I jerked my head in the opposite direction. One blast. Second blast stung and rang in my ears. I wasn't sure how much time had passed until I gained the courage to look, or how many minutes elapsed before my deafened ears could hear. Maybe seconds. Maybe hours. My ability to sense time ceased once Austin pulled the trigger. When I did look, I kept my eyes averted from Joe's slumped body. The important thing was to get out of that tiny house of horrors. After calling 911, Austin draped an arm behind and guided me outside. We didn't get far because we had to speak with police, of course, and explain what happened. Every gory, humiliating and sordid detail. But we were together and—despite tragic circumstances—happy to be alive.

18 6: Revelation

Austin's actions of self-defense—and protecting a pregnant woman—got him off the hook; a decision by local law enforcement after a brief investigation. A small, helpful piece of evidence was found on Joe's computer. A revealing suicide note. I didn't find out about it until days later. On January the tenth we lounged in Joe's home office, perched at his old desk. With much reluctance I read Joe's note for the first time, then cried endless tears of guilt, regret and trauma. Trauma that neither I nor Austin would forget. Ever. Joe's note: 12-23-12 Austin, I'm getting ready to meet you and Beth at the cabin. Thought I'd jot this down to explain myself. Please read carefully. I'm sorry for having to do it this way. Selfish or not, it's the only way I know how to exit this life because I can't seem to do it myself. Frankly I don't have the balls to jam the barrel under my chin and pull the trigger. That's why I have to seek your 'help' in doing it for me. They used to call it 'suicide by cop' or something. So please understand... I have no intention of hurting either you or Beth. I know I'm taking a big gamble by trying this, and I fully realize the risks. I prayed all afternoon/early evening that this will work without a hitch. Now I have faith in the lord that it will. Faith that I'll be the only one to die. First I suspected Emily wasn't mine. I suspected months ago, then to realize she's YOUR baby... well that was the final nail in the coffin for me. Literally. Love always, Dad (Please forgive me, and take good care of Beth and my granddaughter. Never mind... I know you will) Throughout this ordeal Austin hugged and comforted me. He was suffering too, so I rose above my own tears and attempted to console him. Major therapy was in our future. That I was sure of. And dammit, Christmas would never be the same. It'd lost its magic for good. Or so I thought. * * * * Austin returned to college, although he abandoned campus living to stay with me. We inherited Joe's home, bills and responsibilities which followed. Austin worked full-time in addition to juggling studies. One ordeal chasing another, and another and another.

19 However it helped tremendously to sell the horrid cabin. It wasn't worth shit but the land was. A hundred thousand dollars worth of land; thanks to thirteen acres of countryside real estate. Anyhow, there's no way in hell we'd ever go back to that cabin. It was forbidden, ominous and cursed. We wanted rid of it. Upon receiving this massive amount of money, Austin was able to switch to a part-time job. I used some of it to pay off the mortgage on Joe's home. Free of debt, our future was set. Then on February the twentieth our daughter was born. As I held this teensy, kicking bundle in my arms, I marveled at such a tiny pink face, button nose and rosebud lips. A thatch of blonde fuzz graced her scalp. She was a beauty, and she had no idea how long or how badly I'd wanted her. She was a dream come true. Austin looked as proud as I. He lingered at my bedside, stroking Emily's rosy, velvety cheek. Emily brightened our lives. Her precious face cast a shining light that filled the dark void. Sometimes I saw Austin in her sweet face. Sometimes myself. Sometimes Joe. Yes. Emily Marie Montgomery—all seven pounds and eight ounces of her—completed us. And she made every Christmas thereafter pure magic.

20 EMMA CLARK

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