th NOTRE DAME Published Weekly — Founded 1867 HIGHLIGHTS . Notre Dame's Pledge The Merry Wives Centennial Plans Symphony Concert The Magic Man For God, Country, and Notre Dame VOLUME 75 NUMBER 11 DECEMBER 12, 1941 CtlMMtrtS eeftreu.! NOTRE DAME REPRESENTATIVES of THE MODERN GILBERT'S ^^GknMimori Qijjt Mime ^ Men" If you want the best in fine qualKy apparel see any one of our campus representatives. T/fE MODERN GILBERT'S * I. "(h<£. Afa4i. Ti££4 /^ytotUe/t^ 813-817 S. Michigan Street You taste its quality CJO refreshed Experience proves that nodiing takes the place of quality. You taste the quality of ice-cold G>ca-Cola. Again and again y^'(X you enjoy the charm of its ddicious taste...and its cool, dean after-sense ofxomplete refreshment. Thirst asks noth* ing more. BOTTLED UNDER AUTHORITY OF THE COCA-COLA COMPANY BY COCA-COLA BOTTLING COMPANY of South Bend 5* 1107 Beyer Aveniie You trast Its quality Try to get acquainted with every good looking girl you see on the train. Her husband may be in the lounge. COLLEGE PARADE Forget to hang out your sock on Christmas eve. BY ROBERT LEMENSE Come in later than one pjn. the next afternoon on New Year's eve. Get into an argument with her—^it's "The Vanderbilt Hustler" "Idle Moments" a long time until Easter and letters sort A blue-blood, suh. The Hustler sub­ Verse—^from the Ohio State Lantern of relieve the monotony of the situation. titles itself "The Aristocrat of Southern "I wish I were an idle moment Manage to miss the train coming back College Newspapers." This paper comes Li my professor's class. and cut yourself out of two or three out each i'riday—"published by the stu­ It always seems to pass." classes. dents. ... under the supervision of the How idle the moment doesn't matter. Vanderbilt Publications Board." Easy-to- (Special to "J.Q."): Forget to resolve maneuver size and varied headline type • to write a better column when turning are good. No exceptional features but over the New Year's leaf. each issue usually contains- enough pic­ 'Explanation" tures to liven things. Editorials short Note: We refuse to argue with any but well written. Overall blow: GOOD. sociology brains on the biological angle of the following. Mistaken Identity "Hello there, my good fellow." "I am a little moron "Hiss." As happy as can be. Coach Leahy would have snapped up "Beg pardon?" And yet I am the brightest one this fellow in a minute if he could have "Hiss." seen the way the lug charged into our On my ancestral tree. "Well, such an impertinent little man." room. Any^vay he slammed on the brakes "My mother is a microcephalic; "Hiss." about two inches away from us and then My sister a Cretin is she; "Deserves a good Uckin'." practically blasted us into the corner My brother is a Mongolian idiot. "Hiss." with a big bass beUow: My father was insane, you see." "Got a notion to give you one. I'm "Listen you, were you referring to me coming in." in your column last week?" NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: "Inebriated "What do you mean?" we managed Take Off That Mask Man Crushed by a Boa Constrictor at to peep out. "W" men at the University of Wiscon­ Zoo." "You said that a friend of yours read sin wiU be paint removers for one day. • about something in the "Weak." The method they will use will be the "Well yes, but —" application of a half-nelson together Doomed to be henpecked "You weren't referring to me, I hope, with vigorous rubbing with a turkish 'cause if you—" towel. But our verb tense has been wrong Most everyone knows by now that "No, no, you aren't a fijie—" —the monogram men were paint remov­ Princeton plays hockey matches with "Well, pal, that's plenty lucky for you. ers. The paint was any lipstick or pow­ nearby Bryn Mawr—a girl's school. In You writers get away with plenty, but der found adorning the faces of any U. the most recent engagement the boys nobody's going to accuse me of reading of W. coed last Friday. Canrdinal Sports massacred the lassies in two games, 1-0 that "Weak" and be able to pass the columnist Marv Eand said, "W Club day and 2-0. Interesting part of the account physical exam for the draft. I've got a may become a permanent affair here at of the battle was tiie last paragraph social standing, SEE!" Wisconsin. If it turns out half as inter­ which we reprint from the PrineeUmian: "Yes, friend, I understand perfectly." esting as forecasted, we hope it does." "In the first game weakness in many • We think the event should be called positions was the cause of the tight fit. E. J. O'Brien was the most notable weak P.S. The editor of the SCHOLASTIC with "Revelation Day," or "Across the Break­ fast Table Preview." spot, seeming unable to control his a superior air pointed out to us that woman. Several times he was thrown to J. Q. O'Connell is not a pseudonym. O.K., the groimd, and finally was forced to re­ O.K., but Ave tried to protect him. tire from action." • Morning Check The Brain Heard a fellow telling the other day about the little red corpuscles who all 46 percent passed the course Prof: Young man, do you know any­ went to church in a body. thing about this course? • Two profs were walking across the Student: A little, sir, what would you campus. Various students on passing the like to know? two would give them a big greeting. The —Queen's Journal Don'ts for Vacation profs would always return the greeting, "Don't" but one would always mutter "The same Arrange 43 dates via the maiL There to you," imder his breath after the stu­ Line Up, Gentlemen are only 14-15 days of vacation. dents had passed. Finally the other prof "Laundry Offers Small Student Eefund" Get dates with three different girls for asked him why he did this. —The Pladnsman the same big event. The mutterer answered, "You forget, • Wait until the last minute to arrange I was a student -here once, and I know for your good time. what they're really thinking." Wishful Thinking Forget to make out your Christmas Shillelah list now. passes to Notre Dame Forget to bring at least one book A MEBEY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY but "just for a year." home to make a good impression. NEW YEAR FROM THE PARADE TO ALL or —Daily Northwestern So what if you don't open it? You. NEXT WEEK By John A. Lynch By J. Q. O'Conncll SATURDAY, DEC 13: Top of the Week wonderful? Make your vacation plans Six days. accordingly. Movie, "Shining Victory," Disney car­ 1-2-3-4-5 Beat Japan! "Love, Bob." toon and news, 6:40 and 8:00 p.m. We hope Kay is extra good at mental Basketball, University of Wisconsin We Hear Jingling! telepathy, because the post office isn't. vs. Notre Dame, away, the Keogan men Bob did it again. leave home for the -first time this year. Anyone who has seen the Rose & KLatz store downtown, or the tree in Alumni, • knows that Christmas is coming. These Rose Colored Glasses Dept. holidays approach so swiftly that some­ SUNDAY. DEC 14: times we're caught short. We remember We came back from Chicago last Mon­ one Easter when we were so rushed day, just after the Declaration of War, Five days. at the last minute, we forgot to boil the and we're ashamed to admit that our Jewelry promoters and assorted cam­ eggs, and was that a mess. But that's thoughts were a little on the gloomy pus salesmen make a last stand. another story. side. We were thinking of bombers, and Catholic Action radio discussion, The moral here is: he who waits imtil the draft, and naval engagements, when "Youth Has What It Takes," music by the last minute to do his Christmas shop­ we heard voices in the wilderness. We the University Choir, WSBT, 4:30 p.m. ping is goofy in other ways, too. The could tell that they Avere Notre Dame whole problem is much simplified in one students from the vocabulary. of the late issues of the Saturday Eve­ "Gee," said the first voice, dreamily, ning Post. "Buy 'him' an airplane," says "Gee, I had a thick milkshake today. It MONDAY. DEC 15: the Post airily. "Get 'her' a new refrig­ was so thick I could hardly drink it. The Four days. erator. Send the folks on a trip to guy put in five scoops of ice cream." Campus Newscast, Morrissey Hall's Florida." "Was it . was it double chawclut?" Chuck Patterson takes over as Pischke's Quick, Dingby, where did we put our asked the second voice, awe-stricken. aid, WSBT, 4:15 p.m. piggy bank? "No," said the first voice, sighing ex­ "The Merry Wives of Windsor," pansively, "no, it was vanilla." Hickey, Heinlen, Curtin, and cast open Speaking of Christmas present prob­ their short season at Washington Hall, lems, Douglas MacDonald, of California, There was a long, happy silence, dur­ open-house for all play-goers, 8:00 p.m. is wondering what to send the folks. Our ing which all three of- us dreamed of extra-thick milk shakes, witli five scoops suggestion is a nifty model the Young- of ice cream.