“But You’re a Violinist – Why Do You
Compose?”: Narratives of Experience of Three
Composer-Performers
By
Alice Hong
A thesis submitted in conformity with the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Musical Arts
Faculty of Music University of Toronto
© Copyright by Alice Hong 2018
“But You’re a Violinist – Why Do You Compose?”:
Narratives of Experience of Three Composer-Performers
Alice Hong
Doctor of Musical Arts
Faculty of Music University of Toronto
2018
Abstract
In the past century, a perception has arisen of a decline in the practice of musicians who both compose and perform. Classical musicians, such as Frédéric Chopin, Maurice
Ravel, and Camille Saint-Saëns, historically emulated their mentors by composing alongside maintaining a performance career. However, present-day musicians have become increasingly specialized in the fields of performance and composition; those that continue to pursue both simultaneously can now be defined specifically as a “composer-performer,” a term that was irrelevant in the past, as both composition and performance were already integrated in a musician’s career. The purpose of this study is to explore the definition of
“composer-performer” in contemporary music careers.
The second objective of this study is to begin a discussion on why and when the career paths for performers and composers became increasingly divided, exploring possible key factors that may have motivated the specialization of composers and performers.
The last objective is to provide a platform for the voices and stories of modern-day
ii composer-performers. In this study, the experiences, philosophies, and challenges shared by composer-performers participating in the research process will be discussed.
This study utilizes narrative methodology in order to tell the stories of contemporary composer-performers first-hand, and to represent their experiences in their own voices.
Conversational interviews were conducted with two composer-performers, their narratives analyzed and themes categorized. The resulting data was put into conversation with themes and perspectives data extracted from my personal narrative on my experiences as a composer-performer. This study provides insight on the dual role of the modern composer- performer in a society that rewards specialization. It also proposes questions for future research.
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Acknowledgments
I would like to acknowledge my incredibly supportive committee, Dr. Lori-Anne
Dolloff, Dr. Cameron Walter, and Professor Jonathan Crow, who all were there with me every step of the way in the preparation of this dissertation. Even with their impossibly busy schedules and my overzealousness to complete this thesis resulting in constant emails, meetings, and personal deadlines, they constantly offered advice and encouragement and helped me reach my goal within my timeline. Thank you for your generosity and wisdom, as well as your investment in this project; I couldn’t have even begun this journey without all of your help. Thank you, Dr. Walter, for guiding me through the process of cementing my thesis question. Thank you, Dr. Dolloff, for introducing narrative methodology to me and consistently helping me throughout the entire thesis process, from proposal to conclusion.
Thank you, Prof. Crow, for not only teaching me as my private violin teacher but for offering invaluable advice and guidance both inside and out of the university setting.
I would also like to thank my interview participants, Professor Norbert Palej and
Jessie Montgomery. Thank you for generously sharing your journeys and stories with me in such an open, friendly manner. Without your accounts, this thesis would not exist, and they will greatly serve and inspire today’s music community. Thank you as well to Kevin Lau, who also shared his invaluable insight on the composer-performer life and history, as well as his generous friendship throughout this process.
Lastly, thank you to my friends and family, who were so encouraging and supportive every single day, and even carried my laptop for me sometimes when it looked like I was about to drop everything I was holding!
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Table of Contents
Acknowledgements…………………………………………………………………………...iv
Table of Contents……………………………………………………………………………...v
List of Appendices…………………………………………………………………………..viii
Chapter One: Introduction………………………………………………………………….1
1.1 Personal Narrative: Positioning myself in the research…………………………………...3
1.2 Methodology………………………………………………………………………………9
1.3 Purpose for the Study…………………………………………………………………….10
1.4 Need of the Study………………………………………………………………………...10
1.5 Limitations of the Study……………………………..…………………………………...11
1.6 Overview of the Dissertation Design…………………………………………………….12
Chapter Two: A Review of the Literature………………………………………………...14
2.1 Identity…………………………………………………………………………………...14 2.1.1 Defining and Categorizing “Identity” ……………………….………………...14 2.1.2 Identity of the “Musician”.….…………………………………………………15 2.1.3 Beginning the Discussion on the “Composer-Performer” Identity…………….19 2.1.4 Conclusion……………………………………………………………………..22
2.2 Past Composer-Performers………………………………………………………………22 2.2.1 Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart……………………………………………………24 2.2.2 Felix Mendelssohn………………………………..……………………………25 2.2.3 Dmitri Shostakovich………………………………..……………………….…30 2.2.4 Frédéric Chopin……………………………………………………………..…33 2.2.5 Conclusion……………………………………………………………..………35
2.3 Modern Composer-Performers…………………………………………………………..36
2.4 Related Dissertations…………………………………………………………………….38
2.5 Conclusion: Comparing Literature between Past and Present Composer-Performers…..39
Chapter Three: Methodology……………………………………………………………...41
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3.1 Rationale for Narrative Inquiry……………………………………………………….….42
3.2 Autoethnography…………………………………………………………………………44
3.3 Methodology in Practice: Interviews…………………………………………………….47 3.3.1 Choosing the Participants…………………………………………………..….47 3.3.2 Conducting the Interviews…………………………………………………..…49 3.3.3 Analyzing the Data…………………………………………………………….53
Chapter Four: Norbert Palej………………………………………………………………57
4.1 Participant Introduction………………………………………………………………….57
4.2 “I’m a Composer-Performer”……………………………………..……………………..58 4.2.1 Introduction……………………………………………………………………58 4.2.2 Dr. Palej’s Story……………………………………………………….………58 4.2.3 Discussion……………………………………………………………………...61
4.3 Key Themes……………………………………………………………………………...76 4.3.1 Redefining Labels………………………………………………………….…..76 4.3.2 Becoming a Composer-Performer……………………………………………..77 4.3.3 Hierarchies of Musical Activity………………………………………………..78 4.3.4 Changing Habits of Composition………………………………………………79 4.3.5 Composer as Interpreter………………………………………………………..80 4.3.6 Summary……………………………………………………………………….80
Chapter Five: Jessie Montgomery…………………………………………………………82
5.1 Participant Introduction………………………………………………………………….82
5.2 “I’m a ‘Musician’”……………………………………………………...………………..83 5.2.1 Introduction…………………………………………………………………….83 5.2.2 Montgomery’s Story…………………………………………………………...84 5.2.3 Discussion……………………………………………………………………...89
5.3 Key Themes……………………………………………………………………………...96 5.3.1 Choosing the Composer-Performer Label……………………………………..96 5.3.2 Public Perception of the Composer-Performer………………………………...97 5.3.3 The Unconventional Path………………………………………………………97 5.3.4 Music as a Physical Art………………………………………………………...98 5.3.5 Balance as a Composer-Performer……………………………………………..98
5.3.6 Summary …………………………………………………………...………….99
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Chapter Six: Alice Hong…………………………………………………………………..100
6.1 Participant Introduction………………………………………………………………...100
6.2 “ I Am Who I Am and I Love What I Love”……….……..…………………………....102
6.3 Discussion……………………………………………………………………………....111
6.4 Key Themes…………………………………………………………………………….116 6.4.1 Composer and Performer Relations…………………..………………………116 6.4.2 Public Perception of the Composer-Performer……………………………….117 6.4.3 Developing Confidence as a Composer-Performer…………………………..118 6.4.4 Summary……………………………………………………………………...118
6.5 Closing Thoughts……………………………………………………………………….119
Chapter Seven: Discussion and Conclusion……………………………………………..121
7.1 Discussion………………………………………………………………………………121 7.1.1 Public and Personal Perception of the Identity of the Composer-Performer…121 7.1.2 Non-Performing Composers versus Composer-Performers………………….123 7.1.3 Overlapping Experiences……………………………………………………..125 7.1.4 Conflicting Experiences………………………………………………………128
7.2 Answering the Research Question……………………………………………………...129 7.2.1 Definition of the Modern Composer-Performer……………………………...129 7.2.2 The Divide: Why and When?……………………………………………...... 131 7.2.3 The Drive to Pursue Both Fields……………………………………………...136
7.3 Implications for Further Study………………………………………………………….138
7.4 Impact and Influence of “‘But You’re a Violinist – Why Do You Compose?’”…...…..141
7.5 Conclusion……………………………………………………………………………...144
7.6 Postlude………………………………………...……………………………………….145
References………………………………………………………………………………….146
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List of Appendices
Appendix A - Invitation to Participate & Informed Consent Form………………………...155
Appendix B - Interview Guideline………………………………………………………….156
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Chapter One: Introduction
“Progress in the arts: a series of gifted mistakes perhaps. We owe our greatest musical achievements to an unmusical idea: the division of what is an indivisible whole, ‘music,’ into two separate processes: composition (the making of music) and performance (the making of music), a division as nonsensical as the division of form and content...The methodical division of labor (I write it, you play it) served us well, until composer and performer became like two halves of a worm separated by a knife, each proceeding obliviously on its course.”1
For centuries, the practice of classical music featured musicians who both composed and performed. Recent decades have seen the fields of performance and composition become increasingly divided, and expectations have changed so that the majority of musicians execute in one field or the other. Musical Toronto writer Michael Vincent asks, “What ever happened to the notion of composer-performer in classical music?...In the 20th century, for good or for bad, composers and performers began to specialize in their respective areas. I suspect this was due in part to the notion of the double life of a musical image.”2 Kenneth Hamilton, a contributing author of Mendelssohn in Performance reflects on improvisation, composing without preconception, and the reluctance of classical performers of today to do so in performance:
“although highly, perhaps sadly, unusual nowadays outside cocktail bars and jazz clubs, the practice of improvising a prelude to a piece, or a modulating transition between pieces, remained common up until around the Second World War...present day players, with a few notable exceptions, have been extremely reluctant to reintroduce the improvised elements that were a normal feature of concerts in the past.”3
1 Lukas Foss, “The Changing Composer-Performer Relationship: A Monologue and a Dialogue,” Perspectives of New Music 1, no. 2 (1963): 45, accessed April 3, 2017, doi:10.2307/832102. 2 “The Practice and Decline of the Composer-Performer,” Musical Toronto, last modified March 9, 2014, http://www.musicaltoronto.org/2014/03/09/the-practice-and-decline-of-the-composer-performer. 3 Kenneth Hamilton, “Mendelssohn and the Piano,” in Mendelssohn in Performance, ed. Siegwart Reichwald (Bloomington, Indiana: Indiana University Press, 2008), 36-7.
1
Violinist and composer Henning Kraggerud states on the subject,
“‘But you’re a violinist - why do you compose?’ This is a question I’m asked frequently, as if it were somehow unnatural to be both...Bach, Vivaldi, Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert, Chopin, Brahms, Debussy - they were all performers as well as composers. And those famous violinists who played their works - Spohr, David, Joachim, Ysaÿe and Kreisler, they were all composers as well. It was considered entirely commonplace that the two disciplines should go hand in hand. So, when did this change, and how has it affected the world of classical music?”4
Why has this change occurred? Perhaps the two fields have become more demanding, influencing musicians to choose only one professional focus, as composer-pianist Samuil
Feinberg suggests:
“Naturally, a composer can be a performer of his own compositions. Probably this combination of composer and performer in one person is the most fruitful and yields the highest artistic achievements. However, the composer is not always a perfect instrumentalist. Creation of a composition and its concert performance are two different aspects of the musical art. Therefore it shouldn’t be surprising if a composer relegates the interpretation of his work to another musician with a greater mastery of the instrument...This problem has a special interest from the historical perspective. It is known that separation of the roles of the composer and performer is related to the development of virtuosity and the emergence of professional performers whose artistic efforts go mostly into performance/recitals. The many reasons for this division of creative tasks require a study of their own.”5
With the development of this separation, the identity of “composer-performer” has developed as a label for those that embrace both composition and performance in modern practice. As someone who identifies as a composer-performer myself, I have had the pleasure of getting to know the unique participants of this somewhat underground and self-supporting community. Each musician has unique experiences worth sharing, as well as a personal
4 “Performer-Composers – A Time for Renewal?” Gramophone, last modified September 7, 2015, https://www.gramophone.co.uk/blog/gramophone-guest-blog/performer-composers---a-time-for-renewal. 5 “The Composer and the Performer,” Samuil Feinberg, accessed April 26, 2017, http://math.stanford.edu/~ryzhik/Feinberg1.html
2 perspective of what contributes to their identity as a composer-performer and what the identity means for them and their careers. A deeper exploration of these composer-performers’ experiences may yield interesting insights into the perspective of those who self-identify as both composer and performer, and the challenges of maintaining this multimodal identity.
Research question:
What is the definition of a modern classical composer-performer in the 21st century, and what
are the qualities, duties, and experiences that come with the definition?
Sub questions:
Why and when did the career paths for performers and composers become increasingly divided?
What drives modern-day composer-performers to pursue artistic excellence in both areas despite
this 21st century shift?
1.1 Personal Narrative: Positioning myself in the research
For the first years of my life, my family lived in an abandoned fraternity house on Mars
Hill College’s campus. It didn’t have a kitchen, so my mom built a makeshift one out of shower curtains in our backyard; most of our possessions were donated from the student body, and our diet consisted of rice, eggs, and canned fish. We lived modestly, but there was one possession of luxury in our house: the upright Yamaha in our living room. My brother took on the role of being my piano teacher when I turned five, and, though my beginning studies were quite harrowing, and I lacked the focus the learning process deserved, my love for it was evident.
The piano provided me a world of colors I could only see when I played: my favorite was practicing slow scales. Of course, I wouldn’t know about scale degrees and chord qualities
3 until a decade later, but climbing up and down the scales - in octaves, thirds, and in contrary motion - was an incredible journey every time. I remember memorizing which notes made me feel which sensations: the first three notes of the major scale were happy, the third being hopeful. The fourth had a yearning quality, and so on. I tried explaining to my brother these discoveries, but I of course could barely make any sense! However, I believed this was the discovery and aural guide upon which I began composing.
Four years later, I was sitting in a lesson plodding through the Chopin waltz I was playing the next day in the foyer of a shopping mall, the venue of our studio recital. Assured that I was properly prepared, my teacher considered ending the lesson early. With our remaining time, I asked if I could play something I had been messing around with on my own; with her blessing, I played for her two short sketches I had come up with for fun when I got bored of practicing Chopin. Ms. Skibicki gave me her accolades, the kind I was used to; I was at the age where anything positive I did needed to be encouraged. “That’s so great, Alice! Good for you!”
At noon the next day, I was sitting in a plastic chair, warming my hands in my pockets.
The familiar butterflies flitted in my chest when the person before me stepped up to perform. I had taken my hands out to mime the keys on my lap as a warmup when Ms. Skibicki knelt down by my chair.
“Alice, how would you like to play your little songs after you play the Chopin?”
I was surprised and shy but titillated by the idea. I never thought that anyone would be hearing my pieces, that they were just fun things equally significant to a crayon drawing a child made of their house. Suddenly, I was given an opportunity to showcase my crayon drawing in the context of Chopin waltzes and When the Saints Go Marching In. I felt a mixture of excitement and unease about the whole idea.
4
After Chopin, I began to play my compositions. I didn’t think at the time, playing these two pieces in the mall next to a Williams Sonoma, that this was something I’d be doing ever again and that in fact, it would be a defining moment in my life.
When I was 11, I began studying the violin with Thomas Ludwig. He conducted his own community orchestra that he had prestigious dreams for, had composed three symphonies written and was working on a fourth on his own upright piano, and he worked against the status quo. His next season for the Ludwig Symphony Orchestra featured a violin soloist who also tap- danced, an up-and-coming pianist billed to play both Emperor concerto and the Entertainer, and a throat singer. But he had one soloist spot remaining.
As most of the time in my violin lessons was spent talking, the subject of composition came up during which I mentioned my piano pieces (I had at that point added a third to my collection). His wacky response was a challenge for me to turn them into a three-movement orchestral piece. In an energetic frenzy, he fetched me a stack of 11x17 staff paper and a copy of his own orchestral score for reference. With nothing else to go on, I went home and began to layer onto my piano works, one instrument at a time.
After some helpful revisions from my violin teacher over the next two months, my piece was programmed on the first concert of the new LSO season, with me as the piano soloist in my composition. Even at that age, I felt that I was a most likely a gimmick. Mr. Ludwig sent me home with a stack of flyers to distribute advertising the debut of the “next Mozart” with my sixth-grade yearbook picture underneath. However, with the recording from that concert, he encouraged me to submit the piece to BMI and ASCAP Morton Gould Awards, and, though
BMI wasn’t interested, ASCAP awarded me as the third-youngest winner that year.
I felt a bit like a fraud. I wondered if any other composers came into their lesson to show
5 their instrumental teacher a score with notes written in impossible ranges, or only knew the shape of an alto clef because they copied off of their teacher’s score, then had to erase and rewrite the entire viola part because it had been assumed that alto was the same as treble. I wondered if anyone else had entered this competition without ever having taken a composition lesson in their life; perhaps composition was their principal study without compromising their time with any instrumental studies. When I was asked to do a video interview during the award ceremony at Lincoln Center, I was anxious about whether they used it and, as a result, would reveal my ignorance as a composer.
However, I ended up snagging a few more wins over the next few years. My pieces enjoyed performances by Atlanta Symphony and New York Philharmonic members, and the
LSO programmed a few more of my pieces as I churned them out. I steadily racked up the necessary milestones of a budding composer, yet I still couldn’t believe that what I was doing was legitimized by talent. I always wrote myself off as a violinist or pianist who liked to compose on the side.
What compelled me to undervalue my compositions, even from a young age? In the majority of the press advertising a concert with my pieces programmed, I would be advertised as a “pianist” or a “violinist” who composed a piece. This description always seemed like a step down from simply “composer”, as if my piece was a novelty rather than a bona fide work of substance. I did not know any other composer-performers, and rarely was I labeled as one.
However, in the times that I saw the title of “composer-performer” next to my name, I shied away from the identity. Sometimes I felt like a stratagem, a rarity that both composed and performed. In retrospect, I realized I had no composer-performer role models to look up to, leaving me feeling insecure about what kind of musician I wanted to be. Lori Dolloff discusses
6 in her article “All the Things We Are” the distinctions one makes in their identities in order to stay relevant and most useful to the community.6 I found this particular distinction relevant as I often felt pressured to cater my identity away from the “composer-performer” in order to be taken more seriously.
In high school, as a member of the Atlanta Symphony Youth Orchestra, I had the pleasure of meeting a very special artist. Lori joined us onstage every Saturday morning for rehearsal at nine and would plant herself somewhere, cross-legged with a pad of paper and charcoal. She sketched each of us quietly as we rehearsed through the morning; she never missed a rehearsal or concert. The most touching memory I have of her support, however, takes place in a retirement home where some of the ASYO musicians played an outreach concert.
Lori came to support us in this casual event for which I fashioned a short solo violin piece.
As I played it, I felt familiar feelings of uneasiness: I wondered if my ideas were stupid, if the harmonies were cheesy. On top of it all, I wondered if it was pretentious to play my own piece. Insecure but having finished my performance, I turned to take my bow. I looked out into the audience and saw Lori in the back, tears flowing as she applauded and wiped her nose. I’ll never know how the rest of the audience responded to my piece, but I knew that something I had done or said in my piece had stirred Lori to feel something emotional. When I went to thank her for coming, she put my face in her hands and said, “No one in the world could have given me this but you: it’s you saying your own words, and I am so grateful for it.” As I hugged her, I thought about Lori’s word choice. I hadn't just gotten onstage and played an instrument for the audience to watch and hear, nor had I just crafted a piece as a vessel for the instrument to
6 Lori Dolloff, “‘All the Things We Are’: Balancing Our Multiple Identities in Music Teaching,” Action, Criticism, and Theory for Music Education 6, no. 2 (2007): 4, accessed April 2, 2017, http://act.maydaygroup.org/articles/Dolloff6_2.pdf.
7 display itself. By both composing and playing the piece, I had provided an “experience”: a world completely my own that I could share in a holistic manner.
I felt at that moment that I wasn’t just a second-rate composer who more often plays an instrument, nor was I a performer who happens to dabble in composition as well. I composed, and I performed: I was a composer-performer. This identity was not just a skill set; it was a means for providing audiences a holistic musical experience. Composer-performers have the tools to craft their own musical language both through the palette of notes they compose with as well as the colors they produce as a performer. They take into their hands the story of a composition that they want to share and have the choice of how it is delivered as the performer.
With all of these intricate details in their control, only the composer-performer themselves can provide this unique “experience”. Dolloff states that “identity” is not only what we project of ourselves to others but also how we project ourselves to ourselves.7 At age 16, I finally embraced this identity of the composer-performer and the responsibility that accompanied it.
These defining experiences that led to my identification as a composer-performer sparked a new path for my post-secondary schooling, eventually leading to this thesis. Though the identity of “composer-performer” was who I aimed to be from that point on, the process of developing who I was within the identity had only just begun. Along this route, I experienced triumphs as a composer-performer, but I also experienced self-doubt, both self-inflicted and inflicted by the musical community. In a music education setting, Dolloff states that “if others don’t accept you as a ‘teacher’ then you are not.”8 Despite my revelation on being a composer- performer at age 16, the road to accepting myself and being accepted as a composer-performer
7 Ibid., 4. 8 Ibid., 15.
8 would prove to be hard. Through my personal experiences and observations, I have witnessed the composer-performer identity frequently challenged by performers and composers alike – for example, some may find it hard to believe that performers’ compositions would have the same depth and quality as a specialized composer; or, because composers do not spend their time practicing the way performers do, perhaps some might guess that they are incapable of providing a live performance that matches the capability of a specialized performer. I hope to explore more thoroughly the composer-performer identity and place my own experiences as a composer-performer, in dialogue with those of others composer-performers.
1.2 Methodology
Narrative methodology is the study of experience understood narratively.9 This methodology produces and provides an account of “people, places, and events and the relationships that hold between these elements”.10 Because of the qualitative nature of my research question as well as its focus on the accounts of current, living musicians, my thesis will use narrative methodology to efficiently recount the rich content these musicians will share. The primary research question at hand requires exploration of a creative process that is unique to each individual. The creative aspect of narrative methodology will help garner insight from these individuals’ experiences.
After the interviews with two, selected composer-performers have been completed and transcribed, I will document the information in a chronological story format and analyze for key
9 D. Jean Clandinin and Janice Huber, “Narrative Inquiry,” in International Encyclopedia of Education (3rd ed.), ed. Barry McGaw, Eva Baker, & Penelope Peterson (New York, NY: Elsevier, 2010), 436. 10 Margaret Barrett and Sandra Stauffer, “Narrative Inquiry: From Story to Method,” in Narrative Inquiry in Music Education (London: 7-18. Springer, 2009), 7.
9 themes, notable elements, and common or juxtaposing trends between the two accounts, and my own narratives of experience. I will also compare these accounts of modern composer- performers with those of historical composer-performer figures, such as Wolfgang Amadeus
Mozart, Felix Mendelssohn, Franz Liszt, Dmitri Shostakovich, among others.
Barrett and Stauffer express the importance of relaying the past and present in order to better understand the future through narrative methodology.11 As this thesis will both share the accounts of the interview candidates as well as assemble thoughts of change in recent times, narrative methodology is an organized method of exploring the timeline of experiences in music questioned in this thesis.
1.3 Purpose for the Study
The purpose of this study is twofold: to collect narrative data in order to address the lack of research on the phenomenon of modern-day composer-performers, as well as explore the possible catalysts for change in the musician’s identity that have created a separation between
“composer” and “performer”, in turn resulting in the development of the modern-day identity of
“composer-performer”. This study will explore insights on the general motivations and trends in the development of a composer-performer, equally as a performer and a composer; it will also tackle a question that has not yet been specifically addressed in academic writing: why and when a chasm developed between composing and performing in musicians’ professional practice.
1.4 Need for the Study
11 Ibid., 7.
10
Modern composer-performers comprise of a small niche in the modern music world and, as a result, are underrepresented in research literature. This lack of representation is particularly evident in the scarce to nonexistent narrative inquiry currently available on composer- performers. Narrative inquiry is a way of understanding and inquiring into experience through
“collaboration between researcher and participants, over time, in a place or series of places, and in social interaction with milieus”.12 This process will illuminate the experiences, education and professional engagement of active composer-performers. Not only will this dissertation provide a narrative source and insight on this subject, but it is possible that the conclusions of this dissertation might identify significant social factors and key developments in music history that have not previously been identified as contributing factors to the divide between the fields of composition and performance.
1.5 Limitations of the Study
Though the purpose of this thesis is to provide an account of the careers, experiences, and motivations of composer-performers, it is important to note that each individual’s case is unique. Therefore, the common themes and conclusions that may be reached through the interview process may not apply to every composer-performer.
A sub-question of this thesis addresses the factors in modern professional music practice that encourage the separation of the composition and performance fields; however, as an exploratory study, no generalizable conclusions will be reached. As there are also countless musicians of the past who composed and performed, it is impossible to consider every historical
12 F. Michael Connelly and D. Jean Clandinin, Narrative Inquiry: Experience and Story in Qualitative Research (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, Inc., 2000), 20.
11 figure. I will, however, focus on the most well-documented and relevant historical figures, drawing on information directly related to the interview questions that will be asked of the modern composer-performers.
In the world of jazz, where musicians are always inherently composing in the moment and engaging in musical dialogues with fellow musicians as well as themselves13, being a composer-performer remains a crucial part of the modern jazz tradition and the definition of being a jazz musician. This is also the case for singer-songwriters of all genres, from Edith Piaf to Taylor Swift; the duty of being a composer-performer is evident in the “singer-songwriter” title alone. Because this thesis is delimited to modern classical musicians involved in the creation of concert music and both historical and modern classical traditions, the broad and equally rich history and traditions of jazz composer-performers and singer-songwriters will only be briefly mentioned throughout this thesis.
I will endeavor to foreground my own biases in order to be as transparent as possible with my assumptions and influence on the data generated by the interviews.
1.6 Overview of the Dissertation Design
Chapter One introduces the context of my research as well as my own personal story in the context of the topic. It also states the purpose, need, and limitations for this study as well as my intentions for this thesis. Chapter One also introduces the research questions for this thesis.
Chapter Two provides a review of the literature pertaining to the discussion of composer-performers, both past and present, as well as the topic of identity and related dissertations on the topic of modern composer-performers.
13 Paul Berliner, Thinking in Jazz (Chicago, Illinois: University of Chicago Press, 1994), 192.
12
Chapter Three further defines the characteristics of qualitative methodologies, explaining their benefits for this particular study and how I came to decide upon this particular methodology for my research. It also details the qualitative process I undertook during this study, my experience as the interviewer, the process of adding my own personal narrative to the data, and the procedure of analyzing the research participants’ stories.
Chapters Four, Five and Six present narratives developed from my interviews with
Norbert Palej, Jessie Montgomery, and my own self-study, respectively, as well as an analysis of noticeable key themes that emerge in the individual narratives.
Chapter Seven summarizes and discusses the findings of the study, identifying emerging themes from all three personal narratives, and proposes answers to the research question. It also presents questions for future study.
13
Chapter Two: A Review of the Literature
2.1 Identity
As will be observed in subsection 2.2 Past Composer-Performers, the identity of a musician used to imply someone contributing to music as both a composer and a performer.
Today, “musician” serves as an umbrella term under which specialized categories fall: composers, performers, and a new identity to replace the past “musician”: composer- performers. In order to begin the conversation on the “composer-performer” label, the development of the identity should be discussed. There are several layers to this discussion: first, defining “identity”; next, taking a deeper look at the “musician” identity and the influence of music on one’s identity; and lastly, a deeper discussion on how identity is defined on an individual level.
2.1.1 Defining and Categorizing “Identity”
Charles Taylor’s Sources of the Self defines identity as “the commitments and identifications which provide the frame or horizon within which I can try to determine from case to case what is good, or valuable, or what ought to be done, or what I endorse or oppose. In other words, it is the horizon within which I am capable of taking a stand.”14 Philosopher Amy
14 Charles Taylor, Sources of the Self: The Making of the Modern Identity (Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press, 1989), 36.
14
Gutmann’s Identities: Time, Difference and Boundaries defines identity from a semantic point of view: “derived from ‘idem,’ the word’s semantic field ranges from ‘the sameness of a person or thing at all times or in all circumstances; the condition or fact that a person or thing is itself and not something else; individually, personally’ to its use in logic and mathematics and asks the question, how something can remain the same despite time and inevitable change.”15 The complexity of identity has been classified in multiple ways. Gutmann’s Identity in Democracy categorizes identity into two groups: ascriptive and affiliative. While ascriptive identity groups are organized around characteristics that are beyond the person’s ability to choose (for example, race, gender, class, etc.), affiliative identities are within the person’s choice.16 Dan McAdams constructs the study of identity through a “life-story model”, viewing identity as integrated with the content of a person’s life story;17 Hermans and Kempen use a “dialogical model”, proposing that self-representation is structured as dialogue among contrasting voices and shifting I- positions;18 and Gary Gregg organizes the study of identity through a generative model that considers self-representation to be structured by key symbols, metaphors, and binary oppositions.19 For this particular study, I find that Gutmann’s definition of “identity”, as well as her categorization of affiliative identities, and McAdam’s “life-story” organizational model are most congruent with my work.
2.1.2 Identity of the “Musician”
Through a more in-depth discussion of the past musician in subsection 2.2 Past
15 Heidrun Friese, ed., Identities: Time, Difference and Boundaries (New York: Berghahn Books, 2002), 1. 16 Amy Gutmann, Identity and Democracy (Princeton, N.J.: Princeton University Press, 2004). 17 Dan McAdams, Power, Intimacy, and the Life Story: Personological Inquiries into Identity (New York: Guilford, 1988). 18 Hubert Hermans and Harry Kempen, The Dialogical Self (San Diego, CA: Academic Press, 1991). 19 Gary Gregg, Self Representation (New York: Greenwood Press, 1991).
15
Composer-Performers, the documented research provides accounts of past composer- performers and their world in which musicians shared their work and ideas through performing their own pieces, dedicating pieces to each other, and offering advice to each other as fellow composer-performers. Because this was the familiar lifestyle of the past musician, the word
“composer-performer” was rarely used in the context of their lifetime: their identity was essentially and simply the “musician”. How, then, did the composer-performer identity become a necessary distinction?
To explore the nature of this change, the identity of the “musician” must be addressed as well. Pianist-composer Erik Satie once defined the musician as “perhaps the most modest of animals, but he is also the proudest.”20 Liszt addressed the musician identity as “mournful, yet grand.”21 In his chapter “Music and Identity,” in Questions of Cultural Identity, Simon Frith states that “music constructs our sense of identity through the direct experiences it offers of the body, time and sociability, experiences which enable us to place ourselves in imaginative cultural narratives.”22 Frith offers a thoughtful discussion on how music plays a crucial role in constructing a subjective and/or collective identity, as it “offers so intensely, a sense of both self and others.”23 According to Frith, the narrative, social, aesthetic and ethical aspects of music- making help identify and define those who interact with it: “Music, like identity, is both performance and story, describes the social in the individual and the individual in the social, the mind in the body and the body in the mind; identity, like music, is a matter of both ethics and aesthetics.”24 While Frith takes a stance of assuming free choice in the influence of music on
20 Robert Orledge, Satie the Composer (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2008), 7. 21 Hall-Swadley, The Collected Writings of Franz Liszt, 90. 22 Simon Frith, “Music and Identity,” in Questions of Cultural Identity, eds. Stuart Hall and Paul Du Gay (London: Sage Publications, 1996), 124. 23 Ibid., 110. 24 Frith, “Music and Identity,” 109.
16 self, allowing the self to gravitate towards whatever is aesthetically or ethically pleasing, David
Hesmondhalgh disagrees. In his article “Towards a Critical Understanding of Music, Emotion, and Self-Identity”, Hesmondhalgh claims that the dominant conception shared by scholars on music being a “resource of active self-making” does not take into account the influence of capitalism and limited or manipulated exposure to certain types of music.25
In Musical Identities, David Hargreaves, Dorothy Miell, and Raymond MacDonald provide a substantial source on the exploration of identities within music. The book defines the way musicians shape their tastes and preferences as well as interact with music - as a creator, performer, listener, and appraiser - to inform their personalities and, in turn, their unique musical identities.26 The book is organized in two parts: a discussion on Identities In Music
(IIM), dealing with the aspects of musical identities that are socially influenced and defined by given cultural roles and musical categories, and on Music In Identities (MII), discussing how one uses music as a tool for developing other aspects of their individual identities.27 The authors view the development of musical identities from the perspective of social psychologists,28 organizing the book into chapters in the context of different social contexts, i.e. a family, school, nationalistic setting. From this psychological standpoint, the authors believe that musical identities are constructed and reconstructed through comparisons between themselves and other people, from childhood on into adult life.29 Musical Identities also addresses musical identities being equipped with a separate “performance identity”, a persona that professional
25 David Hesmondhalgh, “Towards a Critical Understanding of Music, Emotion, and Self-Identity,” Consumption Markets & Culture 11 (2008): 329, accessed June 28, 2017, doi:10.1080/10253860802391334. 26 Raymond MacDonald, David J. Hargreaves and Dorothy Miell, Musical Identities (Oxford, New York: Oxford University Press, 2002), 1-2. 27 Ibid., 2. 28 Ibid., 7. 29 Ibid., 15.
17 performers and composers embody in their professional setting, defined by their stature in their career as well as comparisons with others in the same level of the field.30
Multi-instrumentalist and film composer Ali Jihad Racy’s chapter “Improvisation,
Ecstasy, and Performance Dynamics in Arabic Music” in the book In the Course of
Performance compares the views of two musicians of different time periods and musical genres on their musical identity and the roles accompanied with it. He quotes Arnold Schoenberg, who claims that a real composer writes music only to please the composer himself and not the public masses.31 This is then compared with Sabah Fakhri’s view that musicians are people endowed with ruh, “soul” or “feeling”, and must engage the listener ecstatically with their music as well as possess the capabilities of improvising.32 Racy shares a similar opinion with the authors of
Musical Identities on the role of social influences on the musical identity. He concludes that
“musician’s articulations about their own pursuits bring to focus the aesthetic, stylistic, and social systems these musicians belong to and identify with...musicians’ personal statements provide insights into the complex and multifaceted nature of the creative musical process.”33
While this source provides interesting perspectives on contrasting musical identities and provides insight on Arabic musicians and their value on improvisation, Racy does not explicitly talk about the constructs of the musician’s identity.
One source that does tackle the musician’s identity directly is Robin Elliott’s article
“Constructions of Identity in the Life Stories of Emma Albani and Glenn Gould” for the
Journal of Canadian Studies. Elliott uses the biographies of Albani and Gould, both Canadian
30 Ibid., 11. 31 c 32 Ibid., 99. 33 Ibid., 110.
18 musical icons but contrasting in various ways (i.e. woman/man, French-Canadian/English
Canadian, singer/instrumentalist, to name a few) to explore different aspects of the construction of identity through their life stories as Canadian musicians.34 Through analyses of what constructed the musical lives of Albani and Gould, Elliott pieces together the information that defined them in the context of being onstage, offstage, and behind closed doors. With these two particularly eccentric people, Elliott mentions Albani’s apparent elitism and her likely practice of continuing “performing” even off-stage, thus sheltering her private life from the public eye.35
Glenn Gould was also difficult to identify, in a rather literal sense: performing on and off-stage under at least 24 aliases, Gould also kept his private life frustratingly quiet from the media.36
Elliot also takes into account not only what biographers have reported, but also what they chose to leave unmentioned - an equally important source of information, as the intention of their biographers was to manipulate the public perception of Albani and Gould’s identities. Elliott also discusses how Albani’s and Gould’s identities reflect strongly on a national level to define
Canadian society.
Frith concurs, “Music … stands for, symbolizes and offers the immediate experience of collective identity.”37 A shared consensus seems to be that music and musical identities are shaped by and contribute to social experiences and social identities, and these identities are agreed upon beyond the individual level to a cultural level, and even on a national level.
2.1.3 Beginning the Discussion on the “Composer-Performer” Identity
34 Robin Elliott, “Constructions of Identity in the Life Stories of Emma Albani and Glenn Gould,” Journal of Canadian Studies (2005): 108, accessed June 28, 2017, doi:10.3138/jcs.39.2.105. 35 Ibid. 113.
36 Ibid., 114. 37 Frith, “Music and Identity,” 121.
19
On an individual level, many aspects of identity cause distinction from one person to another. Dolloff makes the distinction between that of role versus identity, stating that the “role” is what one does while the “identity” is who one is.38 Dolloff’s distinction between role and identity suggests that while a modern musician might both compose and perform, one must choose to identify as a composer-performer. The roles associated with that of the modern composer-performer, composing and performing, were once associated with the musician’s identity; now that the identity of the musician does not imply both of these roles, the identity of the “composer-performer” emerged for those who identify as such. The fluidity of identity, as in the case of the “musician” identity, has been explored on several occasions. In Dolloff’s (2007) article “All the Things We Are,” she describes the general consensus of identity as “a complex phenomenon, existing not as a unitary subjectivity, but in multiple layers, in webs, or as multi- faceted.”39 Rhoda Bernard conceives of identity as “processual, as positions and contexts that constantly shift, and as constructed on multiple levels...being constructed through personal associations, meaning, and experience.”40 Dolloff concurs, proposing a complexity of identities in a context that is fluid and constantly shifting.41
“Identity” is not only what we project of ourselves to others but also how we project ourselves to ourselves.42 Through my personal experiences, I have found that in a world where few composer-performers exist in relativity to the rest of the clarify classical music community and professional world of conservatory and stage, it is not only difficult to be accepted as a composer-performer by others, but sometimes equally challenging for the composer-performer
38 Dolloff, “‘All the Things We Are’: Balancing Our Multiple Identities in Music Teaching,” 3. 39 Dolloff, “‘All the Things We Are’: Balancing Our Multiple Identities in Music Teaching,” 3. 40 Rhoda Bernard, “Making Music, Making Selves,” Action, Criticism, and Theory for Music Education 4, no. 2 (2005): 5, accessed April 17, 2017, http://act.maydaygroup.org/articles/Bernard4_2.pdf. 41 Dolloff, “‘All the Things We Are’: Balancing Our Multiple Identities in Music Teaching,” 17. 42 Ibid., 4.
20 identity to be accepted by his/herself. Often, the identity seems irrelevant, a feeling to which I have responded by hiding the part of me that is “extraneous” in any given situation - whether it is the composer “side” or the performer “side”. In Bernard’s “Making Music, Making Selves”, she describes an instance when she introduced herself as a researcher, but purposely did not reveal the other aspects of self with which she identified with:
The way that I think about my professional identity doesn’t fit the formula of the academic introduction, which privileges only one layer of a person’s professional identity: researcher...when I introduce myself at events like this, I can present only one part of my identity. Only who I am as a researcher matters. But who I am as a researcher is deeply and profoundly connected to the other aspects of who I am. And I don’t want to forget that there are still other aspects of who I am that may not appear immediately relevant to who I am as a researcher, but are still important parts of my identity. I am a wife, a sister, a friend, a kickboxer, a golfer, a Red Sox fan, a homeowner, and so much more.43
Joanne Erwin and Kay Edwards address a similar conflict between performer and teacher identities: “Perhaps you are sitting in this class trying to decide whether you should be a music teacher or a performer. This question need not worry you at this time, because it is possible to be both a teacher and a performer...you cannot be a good music teacher unless you are a good performer. You see, it is not a question of being a teacher or a performer, because great teaching is a performing art and a great performer is always teaching.”44 Through this perspective, the two roles of the composer-performer would be seen as a supplement to each other. Sociologist Brian Roberts provides a different view on the seemingly opposing identities of musician and teacher in a music education setting: “[Music educators] acknowledge that to be a fine music teacher there will always be a personal war between oneself as a musician and as a teacher and that each individual must seek a balance which best suits both oneself and the
43 Bernard, “Making Music, Making Selves,” 4. 44 Joanne Erwin et al., Prelude to Music Education (Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2003), 1.
21 teaching position that he holds”.45 Roberts points out that balance is a key factor in the maintenance and success of this dual identity, also a relevant factor to the dual identity of the composer-performer.
Often from my experience, the composer-performer identity is challenged by other musicians, performers and composers alike. The data obtained through these narrative interviews will hopefully shed light on the potential misconceptions that revolve around the composer-performer, some I have personally experienced and that were addressed by
Gramophone’s blogger Kraggerud as well.46 These sources provide perspectives needed to begin the discussion on the composer-performer identity.
2.1.4 Conclusion
While the mentioned sources do not directly address the identity conflict of the composer-performer, the concepts behind identifying oneself, accepting identity, and conflict and supplement between different facets of identity are relevant to the development of the composer-performer identity. I hope the composition of the modern composer-performer identity will further emerge through the eyes and voices of this thesis’ interview participants, and a discussion will emerge on how the modern composer-performer identifies his/herself along with a comparison and contrast between the modern composer-performer and the musicians of the past.
45 Brian Roberts, “A North American Response to Bouij: Music Education Student Identity Construction Revisited in Sweden. In R. Rideout and S. J. Paul, (Eds.),” On the Sociology of Music Education II (2000): 73. 46 “Performer-Composers – A Time for Renewal?”
22
2.2 Past Composer-Performers
The label “composer-performer” is a modern development; technically speaking, there were no “composer-performers” in the past, simply musicians who both composed and performed. Études were written by musicians in order to aid their own students in the development of technique. For example, Francesco Geminiani featured his own compositions as teaching tools in The Art of Playing on the Violin, accompanied by descriptions of how to play them and what techniques the pieces will strengthen.47 At the end of his book, Geminiani provides twelve pieces for violin and harpsichord for the musicians’ pleasure with no directions, as the exercises before will have prepared them to enjoy playing the twelve pieces. Leopold
Mozart’s A Treatise on the Fundamental Principles of Violin Playing provides a brief history of the beginning of music, describing Pythagoras’ discoveries through hanging different weights on equal strings to sound different octaves.48 Pythagoras’ discovery led to the eventual development of instruments, upon which musicians continued expanding the possibilities and usages. Through experimentation on these instruments, musicians found more notes and strung them together in different combinations: the beginnings of composition. While The Art of
Playing on the Violin and A Treatise on the Fundamental Principles of Violin Playing date back to the 18th century, Béla Bartók kept the tradition of composing etudes for student instruction alive even in 1931, producing his 44 Duos for Two Violins Sz. 98, BB 104, a volume of skill- building duets for teacher and student to play together.49
In order to better understand the modern composer-performer, it is important to explore
47 Francesco Geminiani, The Art of Playing on the Violin, 1751 (Oxford, England: Oxford University Press, 1952). 48 Leopold Mozart, A Treatise on the Fundamental Principles of Violin Playing, 1756 (Oxford, England: Oxford University Press, 1951), 21. 49 C. S. Leafstedt, “Béla Bartók, ‘44 duos für zwei violinen’,” Notes, 52, no. 4 (1996): 1302.
23 musicians of the past who set a precedent for composing and performing. The tradition of studying and imitating the stylings of old masters has been practiced for centuries; for example, the interpretation for the music of well-known composers was informed best by how the composers themselves would have played it. Hans von Bülow stated after watching
Mendelssohn perform his own compositions that “the master [Mendelssohn] was committed, above all, to the strict observance of meter...he despised, furthermore, all arbitrary arpeggiation...he permitted the use of the pedal only for certain tonal effects...he also protested against that ‘thrilling’ haste, against the rushing and forcing of his pieces by players who believed that the best way they could meet the charge of ‘sentimental’ interpretation was through this kind of speeded-up, summary behavior…if one wants to play Mendelssohn, one should first play Mozart [to prepare]...”50 In order to teach his piano students the correct styling of pieces, Franz Liszt provided the following summary through his knowledge of and respect to the composers’ own performance styles: “Schumann especially must be phrased well in details; and played very compact - rhythmically well-articulated. With him ritenutos should be very great, as with Mendelssohn the accelerandos and animatos are great; Mendelssohn dashes out bright and quickly. Schumann has breadth, but Chopin has greater height.”51 With a more in- depth understanding of the traditions of past composer-performers, we can discuss further what composes the identity of the modern composer-performer.
2.2.1 Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
When discussing classical musicians with careers as both composers and performers,
50 Hans von Bülow, “Felix Mendelssohn,” in Mendelssohn and His World, ed. Larry Todd (Princeton, N.J.: Princeton University Press, 1991), 392-393. 51 Carl Lachmund, Living with Liszt: From the Diary of Carl Lachmund, ed. Alan Walker, Franz Liszt Studies (Stuyvesant, N.Y.: Pendragon, 1995), 231.
24 certain musicians come to mind: young Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s career, for example, was representative of a career trajectory for successful musicians in his day, equally active in both composition and performance, and gaining the nobility’s approval. From a young age, he toured
Europe to impress the nobility by performing both other composers’ and his own compositions on multiple instruments. At the age of six, his performances were documented as an “utter amazement...seeing a boy aged 6 at the clavier and hear him, not by any means toy with sonatas, trios and concertos, but play in a manly way, and improvise moreover for hours on end out of his own head...producing the best ideas according to the tastes of today…”52 His continuous relationship between composition and instrumental performance was easily noted from the very beginning of his music studies. At the age of three, Mozart would listen to his sister’s harpsichord lessons and afterwards pick out chords on the instrument; by five years old he was writing down his own compositions in his music-book.53 This urge to compose that came so naturally to young Mozart grew with his harpsichord studies, and he frequently composed at the instrument. On top of this amazing talent, he found that, without formal training, he was also able to play the violin and organ well.54 In one of his attempts to gain public recognition for young Wolfgang and his sister, Leopold Mozart sent his children to spend two weeks at the
Schonbrunn Palace in Vienna with the Emperor, where Wolfgang performed improvisations on the themes requested by his audience and also entertained with his own compositions.55 It is also strongly believed that Mozart’s singing lessons with Giovanni Manzuoli were the secret to his early mastery of writing for voice,56 another example of his resourcefulness as a performer
52 Otto E. Deutsch, Mozart: A Documentary Biography (Stanford University Press, 1966), 43. 53 E.S. Tchernaya, Mozart: His Life and Times, trans. Yuri Sviridov (Neptune City, NJ: TFH Publications, Inc, 1986), 12 - 13. 54 Ibid., 15. 55 Ibid., 17-18. 56 Ibid., 31.
25 aiding his development as a composer. It was not until his father fell ill that Mozart began to lean more primarily towards composition, as he feared he would disturb him with his instrumental practicing.57 However, though Mozart’s and many historians’ focuses turned more towards his composing endeavors in his later years, Mozart remained active as a performer and composer throughout his life. He was documented to have performed at least once a month of each year since the age of 15; his last concert was on March 4, 1791, the year of his death.58
2.2.2 Felix Mendelssohn
Felix Mendelssohn’s career as a composer, pianist, organist, and violinist/violist is well documented in biographies and historical accounts. Mendelssohn in Performance for example, provides a rich source focusing on Mendelssohn’s career equally as an instrumentalist and as a composer. Divided into chapters such as “Mendelssohn and the Piano”, “Mendelssohn and the
Organ”, “Performance of Chamber and Solo Music for Violin”, and “Mendelssohn and the
Performance of Handel’s Vocal Works”, the authors of this book compile an all-encompassing image of Mendelssohn as a whole musician. Kenneth Hamilton writes:
“Even during Mendelssohn’s lifetime, three distinct images of him as a pianist- composer had begun to develop that served to categorize his musical style for over a century after his death: his own playing and performance-practice presented the picture of a serious, conscientious, and intensely musical performer…through [his] Songs Without Words, he was considered to be an ‘effeminate’ musician: one whose piano music was suited to be trotted out in the bourgeois parlor by affected amateurs of shaky technique and saccharine taste. The last image, rather different but almost equally harmful, was derived from the widening reputation of the Leipzig Conservatory, which Mendelssohn had helped to found and in which he had taught both piano and composition. This center of learning supposedly fostered - at least to those avant-garde artists disaffected with its aims - a dry, pedantic, and conservative performance
57 Ibid., 35. 58 Peter Dimond, A Mozart Diary: A Chronological Reconstruction of the Composer's Life, 1761-1791 (Wesport, Connecticut: Greenwood Press, 1997), 208.
26
style.”59
Mendelssohn’s distorted association with the strict and conservative Leipzig
Conservatory was fought and disputed by his pianist friends Liszt, Bülow, and Ferruccio
Busoni. His piano playing was described by Henry Chorley of the Philadelphia National
Gazette as “more poignant, more intense, more glowing than ever the author dreamed of”60 as well as “eminently manly”.61 The pianist-composer himself, however, never considered himself a virtuoso and admired musicians who showcased musical sensitivity rather than technique.62
Despite the images described as attached to his musical style, Mendelssohn certainly grew to be a well-regarded pianist, having established himself with a fine enough reputation that pianos were gifted to him to perform on and try.63 He performed so frequently as a pianist that he knew the instrument builds of different makers intimately: Hamilton documents that “although on many occasions Mendelssohn simply had to play on whatever piano was conveniently available, he seemed to have considered only Broadwood instruments to be serious rivals to the
Erards...however, when he was explicitly given the choice between a Broadwood and an Erard for the Birmingham premiere of his own D-minor Concerto in 1837, he decided in favor of the latter.”64 Mendelssohn shared in a letter to his family of his anxiety as he prepared to perform on a brand new Clementi grand piano in “the [same] concert-room where my symphony had been performed and which now echoed with every footstep…”65
Mendelssohn’s fundamental approach to writing for the pianoforte was strongly
59 Hamilton, “Mendelssohn and the Piano,” 19. 60 Henry Fothergill Chorley, Music and Manners in France and Germany (London: Longman, 1841), 275. 61 Hamilton, “Mendelssohn and the Piano,” 30. 62 Hamilton, “Mendelssohn and the Piano,” 29. 63 Ibid., 24. 64 Ibid., 24 65 Rudolf Elvers, ed., Felix Mendelssohn: A Life in Letters, trans. Craig Tomlinson (New York: Fromm International Pub. Corp., 1986), 50.
27 influenced by the repertoire he performed as a pianist: his “almost monastic attitude to contemporary keyboard styles was a counterpart to his strictness in performing the music of the masters he most admired”.66 His principal piano teacher, Ludwig Berger, trained Mendelssohn through the compositions and etudes of Field, Clementi and Cramer. The Clementi and Cramer etudes helped developed Mendelssohn’s piano technique, while Field’s nocturnes and his teacher Berger’s own compositions would influence Mendelssohn’s later compositions, particularly his Songs Without Words.67 The impacts of the more traditional stylizings of these compositions would, for example, reveal themselves in the piano writing of his D minor piano trio. Composer Ferdinand Hiller recalls listening to Mendelssohn as he played his freshly finished trio for him; his account states that he “was tremendously impressed by the fire and spirit, the flow, and in short the masterly character of the whole thing. But I had one small misgiving. Certain pianoforte passages in it, constructed on broken chords, seemed to me - to speak candidly - somewhat old-fashioned...we discussed it and tried it on the piano over and over again, and I enjoyed the small triumph of at last getting Mendelssohn over to my view.
With his usual conscientious earnestness when once he had made up his mind about a thing, he now undertook the lengthy, not to say wearisome, task of rewriting the whole pianoforte part.”68
Although Mendelssohn was known to be a purist as a performer - and taught his pupils accordingly - he also contradicted this characteristic at times through certain composition endeavors, like his famous revival of J.S. Bach’s St. Matthew Passion, which he liberally cut and re-orchestrated, as well as composing a piano accompaniment for Bach’s unaccompanied
Chaconne.
66 Hamilton, “Mendelssohn and the Piano,” 33. 67 Ibid., 23. 68 Roger Nichols, Mendelssohn Remembered (London: Faber, 1997), 64.
28
When performing his own compositions on the piano, Mendelssohn was reportedly especially straightforward in style and detached, as if to deliberately refrain from anything flashy or affected. According to friends, this approach was due to Mendelssohn’s wish that his compositions would not gain in effect from any “unworthily superficial technical brilliance” or from being overly sentimental.69 When playing his own compositions in concert, he would often add an improvisation: in a concert in 1845 for example, Mendelssohn reportedly added a prelude and modulating link between his two solo pieces, and the year later he improvised an entire slow introduction to his Rondo Brillant in E-flat, op. 29.70 Carl Friedrich Zelter reported that, as a skilled improviser, Mendelssohn could transform “a simple melody into a passionate figure, which he took now in the bass, now in the upper part, weaving all manner of new and beautiful thoughts into it in the boldest style...and evolving the most surprising contrapuntal passages out of the stream of harmonies, though certainly without paying much regard to the melody.”71 Mendelssohn was also renowned for his improvisations as an organist; though he performed very few times on the organ in concert, he was remembered to have given highly effective performances of Bach as well as contributed highly influential organ repertoire like the
Three Preludes and Fugues, op. 37 and the Six Sonatas, op. 65.72 He was unique as an organist due to the fact that he was primarily a virtuoso pianist and could play both well; interestingly enough, Hamilton refers to this in a tone familiar to how the composer-performer specialization is discussed today: “the ‘universal’ keyboard player of the Baroque [declined] and gradually yielded to specialization, both through the changing nature of keyboard instruments in the
69 Hamilton, “Mendelssohn and the Piano,” 34. 70 Ibid., 37 71 Clive Brown, A Portrait of Mendelssohn (New Haven, Connecticut: Yale University Press, 2003), 223-224. 72 Peter Ward Jones, “Mendelssohn and the Organ,” in Mendelssohn in Performance, ed. Siegwart Reichwald (Bloomington, Indiana: Indiana University Press, 2008), 41.
29 eighteenth century and through increasing musical opportunities for purely secular employment.”73
Mendelssohn’s aptitude as a violinist and violist was the least documented of his instrumental talents, but he was remembered as having given high-quality performances as part of the first violin section for Beethoven’s Symphony in D minor, as well as playing the viola in his own Octet and Spohr’s Double String Quartet in E minor.74 Clive Brown, author of the chapter “Performance of Chamber and Solo Music for Violin” in Mendelssohn in Performance believes Mendelssohn’s familiarity as a string player highly contributed to the quantity of rich string writing he produced.75 In the original version of his violin concerto, “the solo part contained very few bowing and articulation markings. The revised version, however, is much more extensively supplied with such markings; these indicate that the 14-year-old Mendelssohn was thinking as a violinist and that he was familiar with a considerable corpus of contemporary violin music.”76
2.2.3 Dmitri Shostakovich
Though the majority of biographical sources for Dmitri Shostakovich focus on the compositional side of his musical career, there are still quite a few sources who give a thorough account of the pianist’s extensive performance career as well. Sofia Moshevich’s Dmitri
Shostakovich, Pianist begins with a claim that “Dmitri Shostakovich was not only a great composer of the 20th century but also an outstanding Russian pianist, one of the best of his
73 Ibid., 43. 74 Louis Spohr, Selbstiographie (Cassel and Göttingen: George H. Wigand, 1860), 308. 75 Clive Brown, “Performance of Chamber and Solo Music for Violin,” in Mendelssohn in Performance, ed. Siegwart Reichwald (Bloomington, Indiana: Indiana University Press, 2008), 62. 76 Ibid., 63.
30 generation. His universal fame as a composer has tended to overshadow his significance as a brilliant performer of his own works.”77 This sentiment was echoed by numerous artists at the time: for example, Dmitri Tsyganov, first violinist of the Beethoven Quartet - with which
Shostakovich collaborated with frequently - praised Shostakovich after performing his Piano
Quintet, op. 57 with the composer as “an unsurpassed performer of his own solo and chamber work, playing them, as a composer of genius, in his own unique way - his approach then became the ideal for all performers. It was impossible to differentiate his compositions from his interpretations…even the greatest of pianists cannot begin to approach Shostakovich’s genius as a pianist.”78 Arnold Al’shwang praised Shostakovich’s performances of his own compositions as “exceptional and merits further study”79, and cellist Arnold Ferkelman recalled
Shostakovich’s technical brilliance as well as his tendency to take very fast tempi.80
Shostakovich was also remembered as a sensitive accompanist by the vocalists with whom he performed his own songs.81
Shostakovich deliberately composed away from the piano as to not be limited to the physical keys;82 however, upon completing his pieces of any instrumentation, he would create a piano reduction - often for four hands - in order to share the piece with friends.83 Valerian
Bogdanov-Berezovsky recalled listening to one such occasion as “extraordinary; after what we had just experienced, words seemed superfluous...We were hypnotized by the close proximity
77 Sofia Moshevich, Dmitri Shostakovich, Pianist (McGill-Queen's University Press, 2004), 3. 78 Lev Grigor’yev and Yakov Platek, Shostakovich: About Himself and His Times, trans. Angus and Neilan Roxburgh (Moscow: Progress Publishers, 1981), 75. 79 Lev Grigor’yev and Yakov Platek, Shostakovich: About Himself and His Times, 76. 80 Elizabeth Wilson, Shostakovich: A Life Remembered (Princeton, N.J.: Princeton University Press, 1994), 104- 105. 81 Moshevich, Dmitri Shostakovich, Pianist, 127. 82 Ibid., 134. 83 Ibid., 164.
31 we felt to the creative process that is usually so mysterious and secretive, and by the absolutely unique expressiveness and emotion of the composer’s performance. Such playing was endowed with all of the rich resources of ‘Shostakovichian’ pianism and saturated with the excitement and thrill of the composer’s inner emotional state.”84 In sharing his views about the role of the piano in his compositional process, Shostakovich believed still that “one should not avoid the piano. However, improvising at the piano is not the same as composing something…nevertheless, sometimes a piano can be helpful. I myself had moments when I was stuck in a certain place. Then, I would sit at the piano, play things that I had written, and, approaching the ‘bewitched’ spot, literally shut my eyes as though I were preparing to plunge into cold water. Sometimes, this helped.”85
By 1933, Shostakovich had limited his piano performances to his own compositions.86
Shostakovich was so dedicated to performing his own works on the piano that, after expressing his desire to perform more, he composed a piano prelude every day until his Twenty-Four
Preludes, op. 34 was finished:87 he performed eight of them in concert only 18 days after beginning the composition process.88 His first ensemble performance was with the Beethoven
Quartet in the premiere of his influential Piano Quintet, op. 57, which he wrote at the suggestion of the Quartet so that he could perform with them; the success of the premiere was so great that he couldn’t bring himself to go home after, but instead wandered the streets of Moscow that night in bliss.89
84 Sofia Khentova, Dmitri Shostakovich v godi Velikoi Otechestvennoi voini [Dmitri Shostakovich In the Years of the Great Patriotic War] (Leningrad: Muzyka, 1979), 56. 85 Yevgeniy Makarov, “Ya bezgranichno uvazhal yego” [I Respected Him Limitlessly], Muzikal’naya akademiya I (1993): 149. 86 Moshevich, Dmitri Shostakovich, Pianist, 3. 87 Levon Atovm’ yan, “Iz vospominaniy” [Reminiscences], Muzikal’naya akademiya 4 (1997), 70. 88 Moshevich, Dmitri Shostakovich, Pianist, 70. 89 Marietta Shagynian, “50 pisem D.D. Shostakovicha” [“Fifty Letters by D.D. Shostakovich”], Noviy mir 12
32
Moshevich provides a thorough documentation of Shostakovich’s piano career in the context of his life and work as a composer, offering detailed examination of his musical roots from childhood, piano studies and repertoire, and concert career through his correspondences with family and friends; there is even a chapter titled “Composer-Performer.” Moshevich organizes the work chronologically, categorized by times during which Shostakovich worked on certain compositions as well as his stance with the Soviet Union government, providing information on each of Shostakovich’s piano performances during these times. The source contains reviews and Shostakovich’s personal views on performing his own works; it also compares recordings of Shostakovich’s performances of his own pieces in order to provide performers with information on how the composer had interpreted his own pieces. Moshevich pointed out certain tendencies of Shostakovich’s: For instance, Shostakovich often performed his pieces at a slightly exaggerated tempo to his own markings: if he were playing a slow movement, Shostakovich would perform at a slower tempo than marked, and vice versa.90 Also, due to his rather small hands, he would often roll the chords that he wrote without any indication of rolling.91 Although Shostakovich never indicated pedal markings, his virtuosic and deliberate use of the pedals in his own performances suggest the necessity of pedal, particularly for melodic material in the right hand and for his fugal works.92 His last public performance occurred on May 28, 1966, as disease eventually deteriorated his ability to use his right hand;93
Moshevich ends Dmitri Shostakovich, Pianist with the following conclusion: “As for the history of piano performance, with Shostakovich’s death, the galaxy of the century’s most important
(1982): 129-130. 90 Moshevich, Dmitri Shostakovich, Pianist, 136. 91 Ibid., 137. 92 Ibid., 140. 93 Ibid., 169.
33 composer-pianists lost its last star.”94
2.2.4 Frédéric Chopin
Shostakovich is among the many prominent composer-pianists in history, a category that also includes Franz Liszt, Sergei Rachmaninoff and Frédéric Chopin. Upon reading many historical sources recalling Chopin’s career, it seemed that Chopin enjoyed one of the more well-rounded documentations through history as both a pianist and a composer. Jeremy
Nicholas, author of Chopin: His Music and Life describes the composer-pianist as “not only the greatest and most original pianists in history, [but] he [also] used that experience in his own compositions, creating something entirely new in the process.”95 Chopin was reported to have privately printed his first composition, “Polonaise in G minor, dedicated to Her Excellency
Countess Victoria Skarbek, composed by Frédéric Chopin, a musician aged 8”, at the same time he made his first public appearance as a pianist.96 Much like the praise given to Mozart, the
Warsaw Review of January 1818 described Chopin as “a real musical genius [who] not only performs the most difficult pieces on the piano with the greatest ease and extraordinary taste, but is also the composer of several dances and variations that fill experts with amazement…”97
As a composer-performer, Chopin’s piano playing, compositions, and personality were often compared to one other: in the August 20, 1829 edition of the Wiener Theaterzeitung, a review of
Chopin stated: “His playing, like his compositions...has a certain character of modesty…”98
When composer-pianist Ignaz Moscheles was asked “what is Chopin like to look at?”, he
94 Ibid., 182. 95 Jeremy Nicholas, introduction to Chopin: His Music and Life, by Jeremy Nicholas (Naperville, Illinois: Sourcebooks, Inc., 2007), ix–xi. 96 Jeremy Nicholas, Chopin: His Music and Life, (Naperville, Illinois: Sourcebooks, Inc., 2007), 10. 97 Ibid., 10. 98 Ibid., 26.
34 answered, “his music.”99 Sir Charles Hallé sent a letter to his parents on December 2, 1836 praising the composer-pianist: “He is no man, he is an angel, a god (or what can I say more)?
Chopin’s compositions played by Chopin! That is a joy never to be surpassed.”100
However, according to Nicholas, despite the plentiful praise, Chopin also faced some of identity issues as a composer-performer. Nicholas writes of his time in Paris, “Chopin’s natural reticence and insecurity had increased now that he was a small fish in a big pond. Should he be a pianist? The number of established rivals made him hesitate. Should he be a composer? His lack of experience and knowledge, and his few successes to date, made him pause.”101 Chopin, battling his insecurities after a review by the Revue Musicale deeming his playing too soft to be heard over his poor orchestration, considered the path of the “public pianist-composer” as not suitable for him.102 These conflicts were soon laid to rest as Chopin quickly found employment in the great parlors of Paris as both a piano recitalist and teacher. His increased income allowed him to compose such pieces as the Scherzo in B-flat minor, Op. 31 and the Sonata in B-flat minor, Op. 35.103
2.2.5 Conclusion
Other well-known composer-performers that are thoroughly documented in their performance and composition careers include but are not limited to Franz Liszt,104 Johann
99 Ibid., 80. 100 Ibid., 73. 101 Ibid., 57. 102 Ibid., 60. 103 Ibid., 81. 104 Janita R. Hall-Swadley, trans., The Collected Writings of Franz Liszt: Essays and Letters of a Traveling Bachelor of Music (Lanham, Maryland: Scarecrow Press, 2012).
35
Sebastian Bach as a violinist and organist,105 Eugène Ysaÿe as a violinist,106 Ludwig van
Beethoven, Sergei Rachmaninoff, Igor Stravinsky, Robert Schumann, Franz Schubert, and
Alexander Scriabin. As it was the norm to compose and perform, it is impossible to cover all of the countless past composer-performers. However, as it is seen through the research of these select musicians, multiple common themes of past composer-performer are evident without a complete survey. It is clear that the composer-performers detailed above considered both aspects of musicianship as an important part of their careers and had ample experience performing their own compositions; all four of these musicians were documented to have been able to give distinguished performances of their own pieces as the composer.
2.3 Modern Composer-Performers
One of the few scholarly articles on the subject of the modern composer-performer identity was written by Viola Yip for contemporary music journal Tempo. She points out the phenomenon right away:
…it seems clear that, by a certain point in the twentieth century, the roles of composer and performer had become increasingly separated, but when we think of composers such as J.S. Bach, Beethoven and Rachmaninov, we are reminded that the idea of the musician as composer-performer is not new. Today, we can see an increasing number of musicians running a double life as composer and performer. What does it mean to be a composer-performer in the twenty-first century? How does the relationship of compositions to their performances change when the composer is the performer?107
The article goes on to feature the works of faculty and students of the 2014 Darmstadt
105 Peter Williams, J.S. Bach: A Life in Music (Cambridge, Massachusetts: Cambridge University Press, 2007). 106 Antoine Ysaÿe and Bertram Ratcliffe, Ysaÿe: His life, Work and Influence (Portsmouth, New Hampshire: William Heinemann, 1947). 107 Viola Yip, “Darmstadt 2014: The Composer-Performer,” Tempo - A Quarterly Review of Modern Music 69, no. 271 (2015): 69, accessed April 17, 2017, doi:10.1017/S0040298214000679.
36
International Summer Course for New Music who are promising composer-performers.
However, although the author presents these intriguing questions, the article mostly acts as a brief review for the festival’s performances and pieces and does not address the questions further.
Online articles also provide evidence of public awareness to the research question at hand. Vincent’s article in Musical Toronto laments the decline of the composer-performer, providing names of past musicians who played their own pieces as well as those of a few living composer-performers, not to celebrate them but instead to show the rarity of their kind. He gives his own perspective on why the shift has occurred, stating that “a musical image has two lives: one in our minds, and another in real sound. Living comfortably in a composer’s musical imagination, the musical image is born, and lives for a while before it is formally realized as sound...Composers realized that a work is better off in the hands of someone with a superior talent for bringing out its nuances.”108 Strings Magazine published an online article asking the same question: “Once, the relationship between composing and performing was unquestionably intertwined, pursued in tandem toward developing an artistic vision. But today, what’s the role of the composer-performer?”109 The article features the thoughts of five composer-performers living today: Cornelius Dufallo, Mark Summer, Carolina Heredia, Atar Arad, and Mark
Dresser. Henning Kraggerud’s guest blog for Gramophone shares his own perspective as a violinist-composer, expressing his dismay that his practice of composing and performing is usually met with skepticism. He points out that “it might not be common these days, but if we look back in music history, virtually every composer was also a performer, and many
108 “The Practice and Decline of the Composer-Performer.” 109 “Five Composer-Performers Talk Artistic Vision and Grand Tradition,” Strings Magazine, last modified April 14, 2016, http://stringsmagazine.com/five-composer-performers-talk-artistic-vision-and-grand-tradition.
37 performers also composed.”110 The article does not provide much information of his own experiences as a composer-performer but rather provides his stance that the transition towards specialization is a situation that needs to be “improved” and “saved”111, accompanied with suggestions on how he believes it can be done.
One refreshing article that does not acknowledge the current deficient state of the composer-performer identity in today’s society but instead celebrates existing ones features the talents of pianist Daniil Trifonov, a New York Times review of his performance of his own piano concerto at Carnegie Hall. Without mentioning anything along the lines of the pianist doing anything out of the ordinary or novel by performing his own piece, the author, Anthony
Tommasini, describes Trifonov’s performance as “rather endearing when Mr. Trifonov himself played it, brilliantly...Even Mr. Trifonov, who can play most anything written for the piano, seemed tested by the stupefying challenges of his own work.”112
Composer-performers have several platforms provided to them on the internet worth noting. The British Music Collection hosts an online community in which composer-performers can share their biographies and showcase their work.113 In 2015, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette announced Pittsburgh Symphony’s initiative to bring back the “performer-composer” by featuring four soloists billed to play their own works with the orchestra that season.114
These sources provide insight into the weight of this recent change in music-making
110 “Performer-Composers – A Time for Renewal?” 111 Ibid. 112 Anthony Tommasini, “A Virtuoso Pianist Is a Virtuoso Composer, Too,” New York Times, accessed November 16, 2017, https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/16/arts/music/pianist-daniil-trifonov-carnegie-hall-mariinsky- orchestra.html. 113 “Composer-Performers,” British Music Collection, accessed April 8, 2017, http://britishmusiccollection.org.uk/tags/composer-performers. 114 “Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra Lines Up Composers Who Perform,” Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, last modified February 11, 2015, http://www.post- gazette.com/ae/music/2015/02/11/Symphony/stories/201502110025?pgpageversion=pgevoke.
38 traditions on other musicians, something I aim to explore more through the interviews for this dissertation. However, these sources are mostly non-scholarly articles; I propose to provide a scholarly source delving into the question that has been raised in these reviews and popular articles.
2.4 Related Dissertations
While there are no dissertations currently published specifically on the topic of the modern-day composer-performer, there are a couple that are connected to the focus of this thesis that provide research and mention of artists who both compose and perform. Lucius
Weathersby’s dissertation “The Performer as Composer in the 20th century: A Study of
Ferruccio Germani and Albert Patron” features an in-depth exploration of Albert Patron, a performer, composer and theorist. Weathersby dedicates an entire chapter to the topic of Dr.
Patron in order to “weave together performance, theory and composition”.115 However, upon reading said chapter, I found that the majority of the focus is on relationships between composers and performers, and the duty of conveying information from one to another. There is one relevant paragraph acknowledging Dr. Patron as both a composer and performer: the author claims that, as a composer-performer, Dr. Patron can skip the step of maneuvering how to convey information from himself to a separate performer by performing his own works himself, and as a result, “a composer who performs his or her works has the opportunity to give a definitive performance.”116 Weathersby also reveals in this chapter that he himself is also a composer-performer, and shares some of his own personal insight in the context of his research
115 Lucius Richard Weathersby, “The Performer as Composer in the 20th Century: A Study of Ferruccio Germani and Albert Patron” (PhD diss., Union Institute and University, 2002). 116 Ibid., 66.
39 on Dr. Patron.
Cynthia Brown’s dissertation “Emma Lou Diemer: Composer, Performer, Educator,
Church Musician” is entirely focused on organist and composer Diemer. Rather than combining
Diemer’s accomplishments as a composer-performer, Clarke separates her accomplishments into four categories unrelated to each other, therefore not identifying her as a composer- performer but as all of these categorizations separately.117
2.5 Conclusion: Comparing Literature between Past and Present Composer-Performers
Comparing the way composer-performers are addressed both in history and currently has unearthed a gradual change in attitude towards the composer-performer. I find it worth noting that, though some historians divided the accomplishments of past musicians into composition and performance, there is not a lack of historians that acknowledged both sides of their musicianship in one context of the musician. This includes Hamilton’s “Mendelssohn and the Piano”, Moshevich’s Dmitri Shostakovich, Pianist, and Nicholas’ Chopin: His Music and
Life. With the acknowledgment of these past composer-performers fulfilling their careers both through composing and performing, there seems to be a general respect and natural ease in discussing the musicians in that context.
Aside from Tommasini’s New York Times review of Daniil Trifonov performing his own concerto, present-day articles on the modern composer-performer, however, seem to have a tendency to branch in two directions: either with concern, teeming with unanswered questions for the dying fate of the composer-performer, and any current composer-performers mentioned
117 Cynthia Clark Brown, “Emma Lou Diemer: Composer, Performer, Educator, Church Musician” (DMA diss., The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, 1985).
40 in the article are a representation of the exceptions to the decline of the composer-performer in today’s music scene - such as Yip’s article for Tempo and sporting titles like “The Practice and
Decline of the Composer-Performer” - or with a statement of comeback, showing the
“composer-performer” as something that is either being revived or changing history as a brand- new identity, such as Pittsburgh Post-Gazette’s article on Pittsburgh Symphony’s composer- performer initiative. The natural ease in discussion that was found in historical accounts of past musicians composing and performing seems to have left the air of the conversation on composer-performers of today; currently, an article cannot be written without addressing the fact that the modern composer-performer is not the same composer-performer identity discussed in history, that perhaps the original composer-performer identity has disappeared altogether.
Today, the identity is accompanied with the lamented idea of the death of the former composer- performer, the death of the composer-performer altogether, or the idea that the former composer-performer must fight to have a place in today’s society.
Chapter Three: Methodology
“Words, pictures and narrative can be used to add meaning to numbers.”118
Upon applying to the University of Toronto, I had a trial lesson with my current private violin teacher, Jonathan Crow, a few months before the entrance audition. When asked what I planned on writing about for my research paper should I be accepted, I immediately stated my intentions to explore something that was both fascinating and relevant to me: what it was like to be a composer-performer in today’s society. After matriculating the following semester, I began exploring dissertation topics with Professor Cameron Walter, and this particular topic turned out
118 Burke R. Johnson and Anthony J. Onwueguzie, “Mixed Methods Research: A Research Paradigm Whose Time Has Come,” Educational Researcher 33, no. 7 (2004): 21.
41 to be much harder to focus than I had originally anticipated. We searched for a way to put my frame my topic in the context of literary analysis, but anything we landed on missed what I ultimately wanted to explore: living people and their thoughts and experiences. One evening, I decided to ignore the confines of traditional dissertation methodologies and wrote with abandon all of the questions I sought answers to on modern composer-performers. After sending them to
Prof. Walter, it became clear that what my research called for was analyzing personal accounts, perspectives, and life experiences of living people that were very difficult if impossible to find in literature alone: I needed to conduct my research through narrative methodology.
To be perfectly honest, narrative methodology was not a methodology that I was entirely familiar with at that time, nor was I completely convinced that it was a valid option for a doctoral-level thesis. My thoughts were simply that narrative research sounded fun and social; I would be getting to know professors and artists I admired from afar, listening to the story of their lives and how they became the fascinating people they are today, sharing intimate steps of their journey for the purpose of research. It sounded too good to be true. Sharon Thomas shared the triumph of narrative inquiry over her colleague’s similar viewpoint:
“‘It’s academic suicide. This fad will never last.’ These words were spoken to me by an experienced colleague - a qualitative researcher - in 2001 when I first raised the possibility of exploring narrative inquiry as a methodological approach to my Master’s degree. I am pleased to say that, ten years later - with a Master’s thesis and a PhD in narrative inquiry, as well as postgraduate teaching responsibility involving narrative inquiry - I have not fallen prey to academic suicide, nor has the ‘fad’ waned.”119
After following up with my own research on narrative inquiry, it soon became clear that, not only was this the perfect way to explore the topic I was passionate about, but that it wasn’t too good to be true. Narrative inquiry has been practiced since the early 20th century; it reaps
119 Sharon Thomas, “Narrative Inquiry Embracing the Possibilities,” Qualitative Research Journal 12.2 (2012): 206.
42 rich and in-depth information that would be unobtainable through traditional research methods, and while the method has been challenged at times by researchers who are often unaware of or challenged by the research approaches differing from their own practices,120 it is meant to complement other research approaches rather than to compete.121
Prof. Walter put me in touch with Professor Lori-Anne Dolloff, a composer and organist herself, who navigated me through the process of narrative research for this thesis. With the option of narrative methodology, what once seemed like a topic that I couldn’t execute with literary analysis alone with the current lack of literature on the modern composer-performer, seemed entirely possible and necessary to write about.
3.1 Rationale for Narrative Inquiry
“Perhaps the most enduring description and understanding of narrative is as ‘story,’ an account to self and others of people, places, and events and the relationships that hold between these elements.”122
During informal encounters in the past, I have found composer-performers to be a fascinating breed of the modern musician and have always wanted to delve further into their stories. Deciding to be a modern composer-performer doesn’t seem to just happen on a whim; each composer-performer I have met along the way has claimed the identity with a sense of purpose and need, almost instinctively, creating a world of their own sound and music both internally and externally. Why do fellow composer-performers feel the ambitious desire to create in multiple ways? Where does this inspiration come from for them, and what does it feel like when their music becomes live, from the secrecy of their minds to their fingertips?
120 Ibid., 207. 121 Ibid., 208. 122 Barrett and Stauffer, “Narrative Inquiry: From Story to Method,” 7.
43
Narrative inquiry gives me the power to ask these burning questions and memorialize these vibrant, personal stories, into literature. Before writing this dissertation, the most detailed perspective of the modern composer-performer that I had was of myself, and, as Alan Bryman points out, “probably the most significant difference is the priority accorded the perspectives of those being studied rather than the prior concerns of the researcher.”123 Narrative inquiry is not only an approach that is “especially sensitive to the unique characteristics of human existence”124, but it gives me the means to explore the identity of composer-performers as a whole, to give it a definition that places composer-performers in the today’s music scene loudly and clearly. My research question states, “What is the definition of a modern composer- performer in the 21st century?” In the quest to learn more about researching the identity, I turned to Jean Clandinin and Janice Huber’s “Narrative Inquiry: Toward Understanding Life’s
Artistry” to confirm the necessity of narrative inquiry on this topic: “...narrative understandings of knowledge and context are linked to identity. For us, identity is a storied life composition, a story to live by. Stories to live by are shaped in places and lived in places. They live in actions, in relationships with others, in language, including silences, in gaps and vacancies, in continuities and discontinuities.”125
I also wanted to give the modern composer-performer a voice and a platform to share their experiences and the meanings behind them; performing the research through narrative inquiry provides exactly that.126 According to Debbie Horsfall and Angie Titchen, storytelling is
123 Alan Bryman, Research Methods and Organization Studies (New York: Taylor & Francis, 2004), 112. 124 D. Polkinghorne, Narrative Knowing and the Human Sciences (Albany, NY: State University of New York Press, 1988), 26. 125 D. Jean Clandinin and Janice Huber, “Narrative Inquiry: Toward Understanding Life’s Artistry,” Curriculum Inquiry 32.2 (2002): 161-162. 126 Debbie Horsfall and Angie Titchen, “Telling People’s Stories,” in Creative Spaces for Qualitative Research: Living Research, vol. 5, (Sense Publishers, 2011), 237.
44 useful in research for the following reasons: to develop an understanding, to break the culture of silence, and as a political tool for social change.127 Through the storytelling of interview participants, I am given an opportunity to use a powerful research tool in seeking understanding on the particular phenomena of modern composer-performers through their experiences and the sense that they make of them.128
3.2 Autoethnography
“In qualitative research we create-perform a dance that blends choreography and improvisation. We merge the being, knowing, doing and becoming of self and researcher. This research is about meaning making and illumination in terms of an increase in our understanding of phenomena or practices and our relationship to them. It is about increasing our ability to take effective shared action, informed by our increased understanding, to enhance practice. And it is about transformation and liberation in terms of freeing ourselves from inner and outer obstacles and assumptions that prevent us from pursuing informed action to transform ourselves, our infrastructures, cultures, systems, communication channels and practices to enable change to occur at multiple levels (individual, interpersonal, organisational and societal).”129
Evident from a very early age, I always had an innate sense of need to preserve and understand my memories and experiences. I filled boxes with memorabilia, kept journals since the age of five, and, with the power of internet, began blogging from age 11 to present-day. It was important for me to remember things as they happened in that moment and analyze them fresh again after new memories had been layered upon them over time. Little did I know that this penchant towards preservation and memory analysis would become relevant in my doctoral dissertation.
127 Horsfall and Titchen, “Telling People’s Stories,” 238. 128 Max van Manen, “From Meaning to Method,” Qualitative Health Research, 7, no. 3 (1997): 346. 129 Joy Higgs and Angie Titchen, “Journeys of Meaning Making,” in Creative Spaces for Qualitative Research: Living Research, vol. 5, (Sense Publishers, 2011), 302.
45
In their article written for Creative Spaces for Qualitative Research, Joy Higgs and
Horsfall explain that in order to yield the most powerful results in research, it is important to bring our experiences as researchers to light in the research, making ourselves “visible and vulnerable”.130 I wanted to show my position as a composer-performer in my dissertation, giving explanation for my desire to learn more about this modern identity as well as the perspective I came from prior to conducting this research. Much of my musical upbringing and journey as a composer-performer had sparked questions about the composer-performer identity, what it meant for me to be a composer-performer in today’s music scene, and a deep curiosity about the lives of other composer-performers fulfilling that same path. Originally, I had planned to write just a brief introduction about my experiences as a composer-performer and how I became interested in the topic, but, upon suggestion from a Reading Committee member, I began to weigh the option of making my own experiences more prominent in the research.
Carolyn Ellis and Arthur Bochner considers personal accountability an integral part of our writing and research practices131, defining autoethnography as:
“...an autobiographical genre of writing and research that displays multiple layers of consciousness, connecting the personal to the cultural. Back and forth autoethnographers gaze, first through an ethnographic wide-angle lens, focusing outward on social and cultural aspects of their personal experience; then, they look inward, exposing a vulnerable self that is moved by and may move through, refract, and resist cultural interpretations…”132
Higgs and Titchen believe that an important part of research is self-development, “the enhancement of our being, doing and becoming through a rich knowing of ourselves along with
130 Debbie Horsfall and Joy Higgs, “Boundary Riding and Shaping Research Spaces,” in Creative Spaces for Qualitative Research: Living Research, vol. 5, (Sense Publishers, 2011), 53. 131 Carolyn Ellis and Arthur P. Bochner, “Auto-Ethnography, Personal Narrative, Reflexivity: Researcher as Subject,” in Handbook of Qualitative Research, ed. Norman K. Denzil and Yvonne S. Lincoln, 2nd ed., (Sage Publications, 2000), 768. 132 Ibid., 739.
46 the phenomenon we are investigating or the changes we are making.”133 Positioning myself in the research has also proven to be a fruitful, transformative experience for myself. The autoethnographic chapter of this dissertation gave me a platform on which I could organize all of my experiences as a composer-performer and discover my own reasons for pursuing this topic of composer-performer identity. It was obvious to me that I had questions I wanted to ask others, as one, about being one - and in turn, made a few discoveries along the way about my own identity, where my experiences stood amongst other composer-performers’ experiences, and how I related to them. Barrett and Stauffer state, “this [collaborative narrative] research relationship is one in which the researcher too can be changed. In this process, narrative inquiry becomes to varying degrees a study of self, of self-alongside others, as well as of the inquiry participants and their experience of the world”.134 Higgs also believes that a vital aspect of being a qualitative researcher is self-knowledge and self-awareness as the researcher, and the research process should result in self-discovery.135 In the first interview, conducted with Jessie
Montgomery, I noticed similarities between Montgomery’s experiences and mine. I instantly felt a sense of community, a sense of validation that I wasn’t isolated in my experiences. This sense of camaraderie only confirmed itself further through my interview with Norbert Palej as well as my conversation with Kevin Lau, as they shared their stories, opinions, and unanswered questions. I was also deeply inspired by these accomplished interview participants that I had the pleasure of speaking with; finding that we had had similar experiences encouraged me to think bigger for my own future, to hopefully follow in the footsteps of these musical giants. Through the voices of these interview participants, I felt mine growing louder and stronger, supported by
133 Higgs and Titchen, “Journeys of Meaning Making,” 303. 134 Barrett and Stauffer, “Narrative Inquiry: From Story to Method,” 12. 135 Ibid., 307-308.
47 this newly founded community. I hope that through these interviews, the participants felt this same support and strength.
3.3 Methodology in Practice: Interviews
3.3.1 Choosing the Participants
During my first year at the University of Toronto, I studied composition privately with
Dr. Norbert Palej. Amongst his teaching anecdotes, he would recall instances of playing his own pieces and share fascinating stories of his experiences. The stories usually were meant to make a point of compositional functionality and how certain things on paper would translate in performance, and I greatly appreciated his ability to draw from the viewpoints as a performer and a composer in order to accurately surmise what kind of sound would come to life from the score. He was the first participant that came to mind as soon as I had decided to pursue this topic.
The second, however, was much harder to pin down. The first participant in mind was the mentioned pianist virtuoso Daniil Trifonov, a fellow student I once passed daily in the halls of the Cleveland Institute of Music. As a prize winner of the three most prestigious music competitions in the world, the Chopin, Rubinstein, and Tchaikovsky competitions, Trifonov was quiet and gentle in person but an irrefutable presence on-stage. I remember in particular his premiere performance of his first piano concerto at the Cleveland Institute of Music with the
CIM Symphony Orchestra in 2014. Just this past week before writing this, on Wednesday,
November 15, 2017, he performed this concerto once more in Carnegie Hall with the Mariinsky
Orchestra, receiving the aforementioned rave review in the New York Times titled, “A Virtuoso
48
Pianist Is a Virtuoso Composer, Too”.136 However, such a superstar proved hard to get in touch with, even with the help of former president of CIM, Joel Smirnoff. With this potential participant on the backburner, I turned to the possibility of others.
Mr. Smirnoff then suggested I get in touch with Jessie Montgomery, a name I had known from conversation with friends involved with the Sphinx Organization, the Detroit-based national organization dedicated to transforming lives through the power of diversity in the arts.
An active quartet member in the Catalyst Quartet and reviewed as a composer with high praise by the New York Times, I assumed she would be just as hard to get a hold of as Trifonov.
Through a stroke of luck and Montgomery’s generosity, I was able to get a hold of her through email, and we promptly arranged a call.
Montgomery was one of several people I had contacted to find a second interview participant. After speaking with her, Canadian composer-pianist Kevin Lau followed up with me, expressing interest to participate in the study as well. Although I had completed my formal data collection, I thought that Kevin would have notable perspectives and experiences on the subject of composer-performer. While he admits to being primarily active as a composer currently, he still identifies with the label “composer-pianist”. Though I intended for my study to include three accounts - Dr. Norbert Palej’s, Ms. Jessie Montgomery’s, and my own - I was intrigued to hear Kevin Lau’s stories and thoughts about the subject. As a result, we met over coffee in Toronto and had a very interesting discussion on the subject of the composer- performer. While his account is not featured in an individual chapter, some of his insight and journey are also included as a supplement to this dissertation.
136 “A Virtuoso Pianist Is a Virtuoso Composer, Too.”
49
3.3.2 Conducting the Interviews
There was a point in my interview with Dr. Palej, when something he had said sparked a question off the topic of what he was saying. I jumped up, ready to chime in and ask, but quickly apologized instead, saying, “I feel like...I shouldn’t talk!” He replied to this with, “You can talk! It’s good that we have a conversation.”137 Bryman points out that the aim of unstructured interviews is to “elicit respondents’ ways of thinking about the issues with which the researcher is concerned.”138 In order to allow participants to give unbiased and true accounts of their experiences and opinions, the interviews conducted for this research paper were unstructured and conversational, along with a few guiding questions to begin the discussion. As
I couldn’t anticipate the topics that would emerge from the interviews, my participants had the freedom to take the conversation in whichever direction they felt was important about the topic of the composer-performer – and it was actually good for the interview process that I participated conversationally!139 Just as Bryman had predicted, much of my interviews turned out to be more conversational than a survey interview, and I ended up feeling compelled only to intervene with questions prompted by what the participant had said in the conversation, rather than my own initial concerns.140 For example, when interviewing Ms. Montgomery, I perked up at what might have been a mundane word choice to her, but fascinating to me. When describing her first time mentioning to a colleague that she composed, she used the words “sheepishly” for how she felt and “confessed” for the revealing of her composition skills. In my own account, I had used the word “sheepish” on multiple occasions, to illustrate the fact that I was uncomfortable with self-proclaiming that I was a composer. I couldn’t help but ask her to
137 Norbert Palej, Interview, January 16, 2018. 138 Bryman, Research Methods and Organization Studies, 122. 139 Alan Bryman, Social Research Methods, 2nd edition (Oxford University Press, 2004), 332. 140 Bryman, Research Methods and Organization Studies, 123.
50 elaborate on that point. Likewise, during my interview with Palej, the topic of time-management came up when discussing the composer-performer label; as he was my last interview for this dissertation, I couldn’t help referring back to my interview with Montgomery and once more when I spoke with Lau later, as well as my own account for my experiences, all of which had touched on the challenges of balancing life as a composer-performer. I intervened by asking
Norbert Palej to elaborate, and a very insightful thought on the differences in lifestyle between pre-20th century composers and post-20th century composers followed.
The Position of “interviewer.” Higgs and Titchen suggests that qualitative researchers need to be emotionally intelligent,141 “self-aware, reflexive, curious, imaginative, creative, sensitive, mature, wise, and knowledgeable,” as well as moral agents who value justice, respectful relationships, and the growth of individuals.142 As the interviewer, I had several duties: first, not only was I to listen intently and openly, unbiased by my own experiences and without interrupting the thoughts of the participants, but also to make sure that, following the interview, I would tell their stories accurately and respectfully. Keeping the participants constantly updated on the progress of the thesis and being open to their feedback, as well as giving the participants a way to represent themselves truthfully through my dissertation without too much alteration through my reporting are two suggestions Horsfall and Titchen offer in providing authentic qualitative data.143 My first step in ensuring this was by sending a draft of the final interview transcriptions to the participants and gaining approval before moving forward with adding it to my dissertation. I then moved from the approved transcription to
141 Higgs and Titchen, “Journeys of Meaning Making,” 304. 142 Ibid., 303. 143 Horsfall and Titchen, “Telling People’s Stories,” 243.
51 writing the research paper, preserving as much of the participant’s authenticity as possible.
As the role of researcher inherently has power in the researcher-participant relationship, it was also my duty to not only use this power sparingly and respectfully, but to also promote trustworthy relationships rather than a power dynamic of sorts.144 In the actual interviews, I didn’t feel said power dynamic, but rather felt honored to sit and talk with these dedicated musicians. While each conversation started with a more formal air, eventually the interviews dissolved into friendly conversation discussing similar interests and experiences. While Kevin
Lau and I had met briefly on previous occasions, and Dr. Palej was a previously a professor of mine, the first time Jessie Montgomery and I talked was during our interview. Even with
Montgomery, whom I had never met face-to-face before our conversation, we found ourselves laughing and talking comfortably only twenty minutes into the interview. While all parts of the interviews were interesting, the more philosophical discussions seemed to come naturally after the roles of interviewer and interviewee became less and less prominent. I felt an instant connection with the interview participants over the subject; it wasn’t until the interview process began that I realized I had never spoken extensively about this subject myself outside of the context of this dissertation, let alone talk to other composer-performers about it. I noticed a sense of empowerment that seemed to grow in the interview participants as they delved deeper into their story. It seemed to me that while the interviews started with simple story-telling from teller to listener, a growing understanding between the participants and me solidified as the interviews went on about the importance of these questions. I felt as if this somewhat underground group of musicians, the composer-performers existing in a modern world of specialization, were gaining a voice right before my eyes. There was a sense of honesty and
144 Ibid., 306.
52 openness that I appreciated from all of the interview participants.
As an interviewer, not only did I strive to take in the rich information being actively given to me as a researcher and facilitator, but I also took it in as a person and a musician. Higgs and Titchen mark self-development as an important part of conducting research, the
“enhancement of our being, doing, and becoming through a rich knowing of ourselves along with the phenomenon we are investigating or the changes we are making.”145 Through the researcher engaging as an interviewer and having these “critical and creative conversations”, the research undertaken can be both transformative and illuminative for the researcher, who then can “implement their research and learn to understand more deeply themselves as researchers, their research strategies, and the phenomenon they are researching.”146 An important self- discovery occurred while discussing the subject of balancing the demands of a multi-faceted life with Montgomery, Palej, and Lau. After seeing how proactive my interviewees were in their lives and daily endeavors not only as composers and performers but members of the music community, I realized that many composer-performers simply like to be creative in many different ways: both composing and performing are outlets of that. I personally realized my own constant desire to create, to write words or music, as well as take part in other forms of expression. However, the desire to keep busy expands as well to the general lifestyle that I prefer, and through these interviews and in relation to my interviewees, I was able to see more clearly how much this aspect of my personality and lifestyle fuels my desire to be a composer- performer.
145 Ibid., 303. 146 Higgs and Titchen, “Journeys of Meaning Making,” 303.
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3.3.3 Analyzing the Data
From conversation to transcript. Kristen Easton states that “researchers are responsible for establishing the trustworthiness of qualitative research.”147 The process of converting the interview recordings to transcript was an extremely important factor to understanding the conversations conducted between the research participant and myself. Going through the interviews with such close focus on details brought my attention to cues beyond the words: laughter, hesitations, upturned words that showed signs of questioning, etc. For example, on our initial discussion of the label “composer-performer”, Montgomery stated that the label was
“fine”, but not without hesitation before and after the word and drawing out the word so that it sounded more akin to: “...fiiine...?”148 This telling tone of voice showed that she wasn’t quite sold on identifying herself with the “composer-performer” label, which she ended up elaborating on promptly after. Easton warns that missing or misinterpreted words have the ability of change the meaning of a phrase, even potentially making it appear the opposite of what was actually meant.149 Whenever I came to a word or two that I wasn’t confident in hearing correctly, I wrote down my best guess and highlighted the word in red. Then, I would contact the interviewee for clarification, so that nothing was misinterpreted or undiscussed before adding the data into the dissertation.
Though it meant for a much longer transcription and transcribing process, I made sure to record every nuance, every “um”, “like”, “I mean”, “you know”, “so”, and other words that translated into signs of thought processing, hesitation, or conviction. While listening to the
147 Kristen L. Easton, Judith Fry McComish, and Rivka Greenberg, “Avoiding Common Pitfalls in Qualitative Data Collection and Transcription,” Qualitative Health Research 10 (2000): 703. 148 Jessie Montgomery, Interview, December 13, 2017. 149 Easton, McComish, and Greenberg, “Avoiding Common Pitfalls in Qualitative Data Collection and Transcription,” 706.
54 interviews, I was also struck by the personality behind the words. The people speaking radiated through the conversation, the tone of voice, and the nuances that I made sure to preserve in the final transcript. It was in my best interest to preserve their personalities in both the final transcript and the final draft of their narrative incorporated into the dissertation. I also found the unfinished sentences, ones a person would start and digress to another choice of words, very interesting. With the start of these unfinished sentences, the meaning behind the final statement made more sense to me, as if I could almost trace their thought process to their conclusive statement. Heather Stuckey claimed that “the quality of the transcription can impact the quality of the analysis”.150 It was soon obvious to me that the quality of the transcription, the loyalty that it had to the actual, live conversation was very important to the truth behind the words.
Organizing the data. While all interviews were audio recorded, I also took handwritten notes during the interview for easy identification of important points when I later listened back.
I jotted down key words and phrases that made a powerful statement in relation to the research question and sub-questions; for example, during Dr. Palej’s interview, the word
“empowerment” came up several times during his anecdote of playing a piece of his own as a teenager. Later, while looking at my notes, I realized that I had jotted down the word five times, and in all capitals. I felt that a sense of empowerment was something both Ms. Montgomery and
I had expressed when describing what it was like to perform our own pieces as composer- performers, but Dr. Palej’s use of the word had such emphasis that it somehow seemed to mean that empowerment was an identifying factor of the “composer-performer”. Even while the interviews were being conducted, I couldn’t help drawing connections between similar
150 Heather L. Stuckey, “The First Step in Data Analysis: Transcribing and Managing Qualitative Research Data,” The Journal of Social Health and Diabetes 2, no. 1 (2016): 6.
55 conversations in all of the interviews and to my own account. Instantly, similar themes jumped out, and stories began to align. I felt particularly connected to Montgomery’s account on several points: her innate desire and need to both compose and perform as well as her motivation to grow in her personal sense of musicianship resonated with my own,151 and we also shared similar struggles with rejecting and reconciling with the identity. What was equally interesting was that the same questions began to surface: for example, why do composer-performers often feel uncomfortable with the identity?
It was during Palej’s interview, the last one of the interviewing process, when conclusive points began to jump out loudly and clearly. Before we met to talk, I had already started to familiarize myself with the data collected from Jessie Montgomery’s interview, transcribing from the audio and reading over the transcriptions. I had begun to find familiar points between these conversations and my own experiences, such as time-management qualms of a composer-performer, or the effects of school curriculums on our experiences and perspectives. However, I didn’t realize the importance of these points until they came up in conversation with Norbert Palej. Later on, when I was able to sit down and talk to Kevin, these same definitive points revealed themselves in our conversation as well as shined light on other points I had almost missed the significance of.
After generating transcripts from the interviews, I printed the documents out and went through each transcript with several highlighters, noting and annotating anything that stuck out as a recurring theme or interesting and relevant statement in one interviewee’s data. This process took several read-throughs, as themes would not present themselves in chronological order, or be obvious at first glance. Once I felt confident that all points of interest had been
151 Montgomery, Interview, December 13, 2017.
56 extracted from the data, I listed out every single statement I had noted on a separate document for easy access, under each interviewee’s name, as well as my own. This was followed by a comparison of the data sets from each interviewee; contrasting points from one dataset drew my attention to other aspects of the other datasets, leading me to conduct more read-throughs in order to see if I had missed something from the other. Similar points between the datasets were bolded and further studied, to see how far the similarities go. This was done until I felt confident that the analyses had been thorough and accurate, and then the final step began. With all of the comparisons made, I presented all key themes I had found in summary of the data analysis on yet another document. Under each key theme, I listed those who resonated with it and a detailed explanation of why. These analyzations follow the grounded theory research process of “open coding”. According to Strauss and Corbin, “in open coding, event/action/interaction, and so forth, are compared against others for similarities and differences; they are also conceptually labeled.”152 These results can be found in the conclusion of this thesis.
Chapter Four: Norbert Palej
4.1 Participant Introduction
Norbert Palej is Associate Professor of Composition and the Theory and Composition
152 Juliet Corbin and Anselm Strauss, “Grounded Theory Research: Procedures, Canons and Evaluative Criteria,” Zeitschrift für Soziologie 19, no. 6 (2016): 423, accessed January 24, 2018, doi:10.1515/zfsoz-1990-0602.
57
Department Coordinator at the University of Toronto. He also serves as the director of the
University of Toronto gamUT chamber orchestra, and as the artistic director of the annual New
Music Festival. He holds composition degrees from Cornell University (D.M.A.), The Juilliard
School (M.M.), and the New England Conservatory (B.M.). He is also an active concert pianist and conductor.
Recent commissions include operas for the Tapestry New Opera and the Canadian
Children's Opera Company, two string quartets for the Penderecki String Quartet, a percussion concerto for Evelyn Glennie, a song cycle for the Canadian Art Song Project, chamber pieces for NEXUS, 2X10, and New Music Concerts, and a choral work for Soundstreams Canada, featuring the Elmer Iseler Singers, the Polish Chamber Choir, and the Toronto Children's
Chorus. His music has been heard in Canada, USA, Thailand, Poland, Norway, Germany, Italy,
Austria, Hungary, Great Britain, and Costa Rica.
A guest composer at the 2012 Beijing Modern Music Festival and the 2013 Thailand
International Composition Festival, he is a recipient of the Toru Takemitsu Award from the
Japan Society in Boston, the ASCAP Morton Gould Young Composer Award, the Robbins
Family Prize in Music Composition, the Benjamin Britten Memorial Fellowship, the Susan and
Ford Schumann Fellowship and Ontario Arts Council Recording and Commissioning grants. He participated in the Tapestry New Opera's Composer-Librettist Laboratory, the Minnesota
Orchestra Composers Institute, the American Composers Orchestra Underwood New Music
Readings, the Academy for New Music and Audio-Art in Tyrol, Austria, the International
Workshops for Contemporary Music Krakow/Stuttgart, as well as the Tanglewood, Aspen,
Caramoor, and Budapest music festivals.153
153 “Norbert Palej | Professional Profile,” LinkedIn, accessed November 11, 2017, https://www.linkedin.com/in/norbert-palej-7bb49194.
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4.2 “I’m a Composer-Performer”
4.2.1 Introduction
Norbert Palej and I met in his office at the University of Toronto Faculty of Music. I sat down with my computer, a pencil and paper in my usual seat across from Dr. Palej, poised to listen and take notes; for a second, I felt as if we were meeting up for another composition lesson. However, the energy was different. Usually, a work in progress was the center of our focus for an hour, both of our efforts put into improving the piece in discussion. This time, there was no piece or music to steer the direction of our time in the office: this day was about
Norbert’s story. After a brief catching up on our winter breaks and the progress of my dissertation as well as his piece in progress, Palej closed the door. “So,” he settled into his seat.
“Let’s start.”154
4.2.2. Dr. Palej’s Story
Norbert Palej grew up in the Polish People’s Republic, where he began his piano studies.
Through his familiarity with the piano, he began composing piano pieces as a teenager. As he wrote with himself and his abilities in mind, he enjoyed pushing boundaries and recalled that his own pieces were “so damn difficult, I was, in many cases, just too lazy to even learn them.”155
He often would think: “‘Okay…it’s just…too much work. I’m just going to either fake it, or perform this other piece, which is easier.’”156
154 Palej, Interview, January 16, 2018. 155 Ibid. 156 Ibid.
59
For his post-secondary studies, Palej immigrated to the United States to study at the
New England Conservatory, the Juilliard School, and Cornell University. It was during these years that he was most active as a composer-performer, involved in almost every piece that he composed during his schooling either as a conductor or a performer. Often in our composition lessons, Dr. Palej would help edit my writing by prefacing his suggestion with, “You have to think of how what’s on the page translates to the player.” He would then usually follow up with a memory of performing his own works and when his own instructions would work or wouldn’t work, even to himself! I realized through this conversation that the experiences he shared in lessons mostly came from this period of his life as a college student.
While he admitted that this was something that changed from experience to experience, he confessed that most of the memories he has of performing his own music are negative memories, a confession which makes him laugh to himself. He finds very often that conducting his own piece leaves him feeling somewhat vulnerable, being onstage with performers who he finds are “often usually quite cynical towards composers, and you’re right there standing onstage with them and conducting them. I find it stressful. It’s stressful.”157
However, when I asked Palej if he could share a memory of performing his own piece during these years of his life, a smile spread on his face. Chuckling, he described to me a “really crazy piece”158 he had written as an undergraduate student, for an ensemble with a piano part.
As he had himself in mind as the pianist, he went wild while composing a “convoluted and very difficult”159 piano part, as a way to vent all kinds of surplus energy. The piano part of his piece contained lots of glissandos and acrobatic pianistic technique, just “to show off; it was just very
157 Ibid. 158 Ibid. 159 Ibid.
60 vain. I remember how satisfying it was.”160 Because of all of this activity on the piano, during the performance, Palej ripped the skin off of his fingernail during a glissando, and blood started flowing:
So the keyboard was covered in blood and I was playing, slipping on the keys. It was both kind of gruesome but, at the end, very satisfying. When I got up from this piano, it was just covered in blood. (laughs) It felt so visceral somehow, like, (grunts). That was kind of a fun experience. It was a teenage experience.
We both laughed at the imagery, and I wondered out loud, “What was the audience reaction like?” Norbert smirked to himself, replying that the audience was baffled, taken aback, but that it was exciting for them. His motivation most likely came from the desire to prove who he was and how he stood out as a student from Europe coming to the States. He found that his fellow students and colleagues at his school composed in a much more careful style than he did, and he wanted to show them that he came from “this really hardcore composer’s place. From
Europe. I’m going to demonstrate all that.”161
Currently, Dr. Norbert Palej holds an Associate Professor position in Composition at the
University of Toronto; the majority of his performances are as a conductor or pianist of his own works. This aspect of his career reminded me of my research on Shostakovich, whose career trajectory bore similarities to Palej’s: by the age of 27, Shostakovich had purposefully limited his piano performances to his own compositions exclusively. While he didn’t specify whether limiting his performances to his own music was a proactive decision, it seems that this was a natural career arc for Palej. A few years ago, he conducted his own piece in a concert that was part of the University of Toronto’s New Music festival. His first words about it: “I must say,
160 Ibid. 161 Ibid.
61 that felt really good”162. He recalled the ample amount of rehearsal time, his conviction in how the piece ought to go, and the focused atmosphere of the performers in rehearsals: “People were listening to what I was saying and how I was conducting, and it felt very satisfying to step on stage and just be the king of the situation, just do exactly what I want and feel like I’m in charge of the whole process, from composing to performing. It can feel good when everything is perfect.”163 He chuckled as he admits that composers don’t always get to be in the spotlight, so he enjoys being able to be a showman in those situations.
4.2.3 Discussion
“I’m a composer-performer”
Norbert Palej defines himself as a composer-performer due to the fact that he considers himself equally a composer and a pianist: while he is a composition professor at the University of Toronto and completed his post-secondary degrees in composition, he does not consider playing piano as “just something that I do if I’m forced to do it, but it’s actually part of who I am. I feel like I have my own way of playing, my own style or technique of playing, and I think about it too. It’s not just a tool that I use when I have to, but a form of expression, so yeah. I am a [composer-performer].”164
For Norbert, the ‘composer-performer’ is someone who looks at the music they compose from the inside-out: the composer-performer can imagine what it would feel like to perform it; therefore, often composer-performers will have more realistic expectations for their pieces and their performers because they can put themselves in the performers’ shoes.
162 Ibid. 163 Ibid. 164 Ibid.
62
He also stated that the path to becoming a composer-performer is highly influenced by how one’s musical studies are begun. His music education began as a performer, through playing the piano; he believed that his beginnings as a pianist potentially influenced his composition style and that this may be a universal aspect among composer-performers:
I think if you start out as a performer, which was my case (I started out playing the piano), you enter composition from a particular angle: in the beginning, you tend to write a lot for whatever instrument you’re playing, and you branch from there - which can lead to you being either prejudiced towards your instrument or against your instrument.165
In conversation a month later, I had asked Kevin Lau how he came to be a composer- performer. Lau echoed Palej’s statement on the path of becoming a composer-performer:
Often, it’s a matter of timing. People often start off in one area – usually in performing. And once they’ve established a foothold, both artistically and professionally and to their own standard, then the “itch” creeps in. There’s something new that speaks to you and that you’re passionate about and that you haven’t gotten to explore…At that point you’ve already established something, and then you…follow this new thing along.166
Dr. Palej considers potential prejudice in composition practice that might be influenced by one’s experience with a principal instrument or instruments can lean in several directions, either towards composing more for the instrument one is most familiar with, or against composing for it. He believes that those who compose more for their principal instrument find ease and comfort in their hands-on knowledge of the instrument and its sounds; however, he also thinks that one can be turned off by the familiarity and the ability of this knowledge to influence the composer too much.
“It can feel good when everything is perfect”
165 Ibid. 166 Kevin Lau, Personal Conversation, December 15, 2017.
63
When I asked Norbert Palej to recount a memory of performing his own work, his initial reaction was to say that most of his memories were negative. Only after airing his concerns did he begin to recall positive memories of performing his own works, the exceptions to his general perception of how stressful performing his compositions can be. He found the duty of performing his own work be a kind of “double-responsibility”167 that is accompanied with double the stress:
Even when I perform my own music on the piano, I also feel like it’s like a double responsibility. I already feel nervous about the piece itself, and how it’s going to come off and how it’s going to be received, and now, on top of everything, I’m worrying also about how I’m going to play it, whether I’m going to screw it up. It’s just sort of nerve-wracking, and, honestly, whenever I’m given this choice, “would you like to conduct the piece yourself, or have someone conduct it? Or, do you want to play the piano part or should I look for a pianist?” I usually just say, “just find a performer,” because it takes off a lot of stress.168
Often, Palej finds himself having to decide what is “the better of two evils”169.
Sometimes he worries that another conductor, though possibly academically trained and technically adept, might not understand the concept of his piece and the message behind it. In these cases, Norbert would want to step in as conductor instead, despite the accompanying stress of the duty, in order to preserve what he envisioned in the piece. He has even found conducting his own pieces to be enjoyable because he feels confident that he would be able to more easily convey the aura of his piece: “It’s not so much even about technical stuff, because
I’m not a real conductor in the sense that I didn’t go through this whole schooling as a conductor...but, on the other hand, I feel that when I conduct my own piece, what I can do better than these conductors is convey the kind of atmosphere of the piece best because I’m right
167 Palej, Interview, January 16, 2018. 168 Ibid. 169 Ibid.
64 there, and I can project that.”170 However, he often noticed that, since he knows his own pieces so intimately, he often listens to it “from the inside somehow”171, and finds that he may not notice things another performer or conductor would notice, or even the audience. Instead, he would get caught up on very specific details privy to the composer himself, and as a result may miss the larger issues or overall perspective of the piece and performance.
Dr. Palej also often weighs the choices between performing his own piece on the piano and giving the piece to another pianist to play:
There [are] some of my pieces that I wrote [during] my student years that get performed a lot, and some of them are songs with piano. So sometimes I’m asked, you know, “Do you want to perform this?” because [the piece is] just so hard. And in this case, I sometimes say “yes, I will do it” because for me, it is actually very easy. I don’t find this piano part [difficult, and] what the pianists complain about that is so hard (I can see them constantly screwing it up). For me, it is very easy because I wrote it, and I know it intricately and I know the tricks to performing it; I know it’s not as hard as it looks on the page. But overall, I’d rather just sit and listen, or just perform someone else’s music than perform my own music.172
Despite his initial qualms on the stress of performing his own works, Palej stated that performing his own works can be fun. He would go into every performance knowing that no one else would push themselves as hard as he would for a performance of his own pieces: “I think we often write stuff that pushes beyond what we do, but theoretically it’s all possible. I could play it all; it would just be a lot of work.”173 A good performance of one’s own piece, in his opinion, is “satisfying”174, when everything works out, the audience is in tune with the same wavelength and atmosphere he aimed to create, and the performers are respectful and prepared.
170 Ibid. 171 Ibid. 172 Ibid. 173 Ibid. 174 Ibid.
65
Reflecting on the mentality for preparing a performance as a composer-performer, Palej found that often thinking one way or the other – as a performer or a composer - could potentially offset the positive aspects that being a composer-performer can have on a performance. While he believes that approaching a piece one composed with the mentality of the performer can benefit the performance as a motivating factor to practice and prepare, he also speculates that this approach can lead to overthinking and placing priority on unnecessary details:
Once we step into this place where we are the performers, we think, “okay, well what if I make a mistake here? Or what if I forget this phrase here?” But in the end, it’s really empowering to think, “Wait a minute. I’m the composer here, I can actually change this if I want. I can perform it completely differently than what I wrote and, so what? I have the license.” I can always just say, “This is how I felt like at this moment. This is a new version.” And once you realize it fully, you empower yourself to do it. It’s very satisfying. It’s liberating. Otherwise, we really study our own pieces as if we are just performers studying someone else’s music, and then it becomes stressful. We worry like, “Am I going to hit this high note or this leap?” If I don’t hit it, I don’t hit it. That’s how it’s supposed to be then...Plus, nobody knows it yet, right? Chances are [that] it’s the premiere, so people don’t have any expectations.175
This part of our discussion reminded me of a portion I read in Lucius Weathersby’s
“The Performer as Composer in the 20th Century”. The author had asked pianist, organist, and composer Lettle Alston what the advantages to being a composer and performer were, to which she gave a response similar to that of Dr. Palej’s: “in a roundabout way, she replied that the composer must stop composing when he performs his own music. It is important to remember the role of the performer. The performer transmits the musical thought. The performer does not recompose the musical work.”176 Weathersby, himself a performer and composer, found the process of letting go of the composition process while performing his or her own work to be
175 Ibid. 176 Weathersby, “The Performer as Composer in the 20th Century,” 66.
66 very difficult. He recalls often finding himself inspired during the performance to move the composition in a different direction than what had been written down on paper. He states, “I do not know if this is good or bad. I think it is at the heart of the discussion. When does the composer stop composing and the performer start performing?”177
Palej also reflected on the absence of this feeling of freedom in general in the 21st century. He compared the current mindset of music-making to that of pre-20th century composers, like Mozart:
I’m sure that when he performed his, say, piano concerto[s], I’m sure he wasn’t playing what was on the page. What was on the page was probably 50% of all [of] the stuff that he actually put in there. He ornamented it, added arpeggios and things that were not even notated at all. I’m sure he didn’t feel guilty about it. He was [probably] just like, “Okay, I feel like doing this here. I know the general melody; I can play around with it.”178
Through this comparison, Palej pointed out that modern music and musicians have lost the sense of flexibility that composers of the past enjoyed. He observed that 20th and 21st century musicians are “so obsessed”179 with precision and determining all aspects, big or small, of a piece: “‘Is this going to be mp or a p with an accent? How does an mf differ from a f, or staccato from a staccatissimo?’ or whatnot; all of these very detailed things [while] in the past, composers didn’t even put any articulation or dynamics. There was a lot of freedom in what they did.”180
“There is a new category of composers who don’t perform”
177 Ibid., 67. 178 Ibid. 179 Ibid. 180 Ibid.
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Norbert shared his thoughts on the categorization of composer-performers. Rather than categorizing composer-performers as the modern music identity, he speculated instead that a new addition to the modern music society was actually the specialized composer, a “new category of composers who don’t perform”181. He rationalizes this by pointing out that in the past, pre-20th or pre-19th century and beyond, every performer was a composer also. This was something that was ingrained in the career path of the musician.
He also challenged the definition of “performance” in modern musical practice, claiming that perhaps it is “a term that needs to be [enlarged] as time goes on.”182 With modern technology, modes of music making have expanded from electronic instruments to being able to participate in a performance by using a laptop or tablet, with potentially no formal musical training at all. He views these technological musical developments as different from the classical tradition he grew up with but equally valid as a type of performance that requires skill.
With this in mind, Palej concluded his thoughts on modern performance with: “So, I actually wonder if there are composers who are completely separated somehow from performance, who never perform. There probably are, but they’re actually rare. It’s rare that someone doesn’t do anything.”183
From the viewpoint of a composer, Palej expressed the view that composers, who are creative in a specific way, would easily assume that all musicians would want to compose and be creative in that same way too; if this is the case, Norbert argued against this mentality:
...but actually, I find when I talk to people who are performers and don’t have any ambitions for composition...you either have that kind of bug in you that makes you want to be creative [in that way] or you don’t. I don’t think you can make someone creative who doesn’t want to be creative, or who doesn’t want
181 Ibid. 182 Ibid. 183 Ibid.
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to be creative in that way, because everyone is creative in some way. Some people are more geared towards performing and others are [more geared towards] creating, and there are people who do both. But if you just take someone who only performs and ask them, “would you be interested in writing something?”, they would most often just say, “No, I don’t have any impulse for it, I don’t know what I would even write.” It’s something you either have or you don’t have...but you can express your [creativity] through creative performance, creative interpretation, and be fine. You don’t have to have any aspiration to create something completely new from scratch. It’s just like some people are great cooks by following recipes, and others want to create their own recipes.184
The hierarchies in classical music
Dr. Palej touched on the subject of music education and its possible effects on confidence and identity. He agreed that often performers who didn’t go through the “ringer”185 of a formal composition education might feel insecure about their “chops” as a composer. This might lead to misconceptions of compositional ability, both from the performers themselves and composers who did go through formal training. Palej made note of an attitude of superiority he has observed composers carrying and exhibiting towards composing performers: “They tend to look at those who didn’t [study composition] from up above and say, ‘Oh, that’s just a performer. That person isn’t serious, it’s just an amateurish composition.’”186 While he found this attitude irritating, he qualified it as human nature to want to exhibit superior knowledge and ability upon those who didn’t go through equally rigorous training.
Dr. Palej claimed that he didn’t face any stigma as a composer-performer, though he added that he was not particularly active in the circle of specialized pianists. His piano endeavors after entering his teens were mostly geared towards composition and performing his
184 Ibid. 185 Ibid. 186 Ibid.
69 own works. He suspected fairly strongly though that if he had competed against specialized pianists, he would have faced some kind of stigma as a pianist who didn’t go through the same rigorous instrumental training. He laughed and added jokingly, “...or I think it may also just be that the composers always look down on others in a way.”187
This joking quip led into a more serious discussion on the hierarchies Palej has observed to be present in music. Palej began with the hierarchy of composers: they were traditionally considered the genesis of all music, the creators of music. Through this viewpoint, composers would be considered the top tier of musical hierarchy. However, performers are often found skeptical of specialized composers, as they more often than not do not know the instrument as well as the performing instrumentalists do, and therefore at times simply write without perspective of the physical performance itself and expect the instrumentalists to bring the music to life. In this case, the instrumentalists, the executors of music, are viewed as the top tier of musical hierarchy.
Within the composer tier are smaller hierarchies, which Norbert broken down into classical composers, film composers, choral composers, and composer-performers:
The classical composers always consider themselves the “real” composers. Then there [are] the film composers who, well, make the big money, but they’re always looked down upon as these people who sell out and don’t try to be new or inventive; they just do what they’re told. Even choral, or vocal composers, are somewhere below the symphonic or concert composers. So, there’s this hierarchy, which in the end doesn’t mean much; it’s artificial. But I suppose it’s a bit different for performers who also compose. I think it’s going to be hard for them, just the same as it will be for film music composers who also want to write classical music sometimes, like John Williams. I remember when I was a student at Tanglewood, he was there, and he presented a concert with his serious music; not film music, but classical music. Nobody took it seriously...I’m sure he feels that kind of prejudice...I bet it’s the same with performer-composers because they perform, and then they write something
187 Ibid.
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from time to time; everybody says, “oh, it’s just this performer that came up with something there. It’s not a very serious effort.”188
Despite these hierarchies, Palej named a few cases of very successful performers who are also very successful composers. After describing one such case as a German composer, conductor and clarinetist living and working in Berlin, I realized that he was describing Jörg
Widmann. He remembered Widmann as someone who was featured in Toronto Symphony
Orchestra’s New Music Festival a few years back and thought him to be a very well-respected composer in the classical music field and an active clarinetist. He also qualified Glenn Gould as a successful composer-performer; while Gould was mostly a performer, he also composed music and was a “thinker of music”189. Palej recalled that Gould hired the Hamilton Symphony to read his compositions, and while he didn’t acknowledge Gould’s music as great works, he found them interesting. Dr. Palej summarized his point on hierarchies with: “There’s always some kind of prejudice that you’re going to encounter.”190
“You have to reinvent the wheel”
When I prompted him with the question of whether he felt performance experience and knowledge help the quality of one’s compositions, and vice versa, Norbert Palej paused to think. His response was a hesitant “yes and no”191. While he found that the answer depended on the person in question, he presented some general points on both positive and negative effects of performance and composition experience. He believes that a performer’s intimate knowledge of an instrument can facilitate the compositional process, and having performance experience can
188 Ibid. 189 Ibid. 190 Ibid. 191 Ibid.
71 allow for more realistic expectations from the composer. However, having experience with an instrument can also detract if the composer’s composition emerges too much from their prior knowledge of the instrument, limiting the composer’s imagination to their own instrumental abilities. This mindset is in line with Shostakovich’s practice of deliberately composing away from the piano in order to keep from being limited by the keys and the connection he had to them with his hands.192 If the piece is derived from a strong tie to muscle memory, “it usually results in very cliché music”193. Dr. Palej uses the example of a pianist who often performs romantic concertos; after a while, the leaps, octaves, and running arpeggios of romantic piano concertos will be ingrained into their muscle memory, and their brain will be wired to view music in these patterns:
…so then, later when [they] sit down and [they] want to write [their] piece, [their] whole brain basically directs [them] to write like that, because it knows how to do this. When you improvise, [your brain] will improvise in a style of whatever music you mostly play. If you cannot overcome this, if you cannot disassociate yourself from being on this train track, then you will just always write very derivative music, old-fashioned music.194
He also added that spending so much time practicing might detract from time needed to be spent on composing: “I feel that, unfortunately for either of those things, it takes a lot of time. If your whole brain is preoccupied with performing, there’s just not much room for composing.”195
In order to execute both as a composer and a performer, Palej turns to composers who set an example of success. Gustav Mahler, who was a renowned conductor, only composed during the time when he was off-season from conducting. Because he didn’t conduct during the
192Makarov, “Ya bezgranichno uvazhal yego” [I Respected Him Limitlessly], 149. 193 Ibid. 194 Ibid. 195 Ibid.
72 summer, the majority of his compositions were created during this time. Palej sees this as a very reasonable use of time, as he finds it almost impossible to do everything at once, especially in modern day:
I think it was much easier say, in Mozart’s time, because music was much more…regulated; there was this common practice, and you could just build on that and work inside it. Originality was about the details of implementation, and how skilled you were [at] implementing those things. But nowadays, there’s no more common practice. You have to reinvent the wheel, basically, and that just takes more time and energy. You don’t have this strong foundation to build on.196
On the subject of whether having composition experience would benefit performances,
Dr. Palej again qualified both sides. He expressed that having experience in organizing and searching through the inner workings of a composition would inherently help one understand the inner workings of pieces that one might perform:
When you study a piece, you can almost read the thoughts of the composer: how was this composer thinking? Why is there this strange [thing] that happens here? A theorist might not be able to explain it because a theorist always just thinks in terms of pre-established rules and criteria. But, being a composer, if you read a piece of music, you also understand the things that cannot be fully articulated: all the exceptions, the temperamental things, how composers deal with problems in music, problem solving...you know it from your own experience. Then, when you encounter these things in the music of other composers, you can better understand: what was this composer thinking here? And if you understand it, then you can potentially perform it better.197
However, while in this case knowledge is power, sometimes this can lead to overthinking a piece. Palej found that, as a composer, if he thought too much about a piece of music he was slated to perform, he would lose the mystery and charm behind the piece through practicing with this mindset. He found that sometimes, in order to preserve the freshness of a piece in performance, it was better for him sometimes to just not think as much. He concludes
196 Ibid. 197 Ibid.
73 his statements with another laugh and, “Also simply, if you don’t have enough practicing time because you’re composing all the time, then that’s also not good.”198
“It takes a lot of discipline”
This point of balance came up several times in our conversation, and, as it was something I had always found difficult to achieve, I asked Norbert to expand on his thoughts on the topic of balancing life as a composer-performer. He believed once more that this was a person-to-person case, just as balance for any kind of life and discipline or disciplines takes work and effort to achieve. Even within the specialized composer category, Palej pointed out that some people write very quickly; others write very slowly. Some do a lot of thinking before putting pen to paper, while some actively think as they work on the paper before them. This aspect in itself would directly affect the balance of a composer-performer. Dr. Palej stated that
“it’s probably possible to balance the two, [but] it certainly would take a lot of discipline and a lifestyle that’s really just geared towards music. If you do both, and you have something else going on, I think it would be really hard.”199
Palej also found that the general lifestyles of performers and composers are heavily contrasted from each other. Performers are often active, traveling frequently and experiencing different environments; they are also expected to be social and extroverted on more occasions than composers, being put in the spotlight and expected to actively convey messages to an audience. Norbert believes, on the other hand, that a successful composer needs more time than one might anticipate; the process is not limited to sitting down and writing something on paper: he explained that most of the composing happens when the composer is doing menial tasks such
198 Ibid. 199 Ibid.
74 as walking around, cooking or eating dinner, or even during sleep: “It’s with you all the time.”200 When being constantly occupied with both performing and composing, Dr. Palej believed that it would be difficult to find the mental space to do this kind of subconscious composing. Without this type of internal creating and contemplating, the writing sessions would not have the same preparation and foundation for creative productivity.
Our conversation on balance would later be recalled during my discussion with Kevin
Lau about his own struggles to maintain balance as a composer-performer. Lau and Palej share the same attributes as musicians who started as pianists, became more involved in composition later in their musical studies, and eventually learned their balance towards composition. Kevin stated something that mirrored Norbert’s statement on how the lifestyles of performers and composers contrast and conflict:
I love composing; it’s why I’m doing it. But, there’s something about composing…because it relies completely on your imagination, it’s a product of your mental state. There’s something very cerebral about it. So ,when I’m stuck on a composition, there’s very little that I can do to get outside of my head; there’s very little that’s actually practical about it. I pace a lot – my wife always comments on the fact that I’m walking around constantly looking like I’m not doing anything; but really, that’s the worst part of it: I’m trying to think through solutions.201
While Dr. Palej used the example of Mahler as someone who struck a balance by splitting his year into performance and composition “seasons”, he turned to Benjamin Britten as someone who succeeded in balancing the two on a daily basis. Though he was more well- known as a composer, Britten travelled and performed frequently. He was very effective in composing while travelling on an airplane or train and would squeeze in the work between
200 Ibid. 201 Lau, Personal Conversation, December 15, 2017.
75 performances and appearances. Krzysztof Penderecki is a conductor who also composes on a daily basis.
In our discussion, Kevin Lau also admitted that he simply found the time commitment to both composition and performance to be taxing:
You can imagine that if you were to devote yourself to creating all of this music, it’s hard to find the time to perform as well. We’re living in a time where the sheer [number] of hours and commitment to do each thing properly and well, and then to have that be visible in a community which is now a global community rather than a local one, which is what we’re thinking about when we think about Liszt and Rachmaninoff…it’s tough.202
In summary, Palej’s theorized a solution to the balance problem, which he shared with me:
…it’s just a matter of self-discipline, [and] I think it’s possible. I think the main thing about composing is [that] you need to budget the time in, at least one hour or whatever per day that you compose. Or else, you [can] just do this kind of thing where you divide your life: you perform during certain months, you compose during other months. But it depends on the person. I don’t know if there can be any general rules about that.203
“Who survives the trial of time”
Dr. Palej stated that the “only” way to be an active composer-performer without hindering oneself as a performer or a composer would be to not allow one side to be enslaved to the other. If one’s performance is enslaved by their mental process as a composer, it can detract from the freshness of live performance; if one’s composing is just an extension of their instrumental experience, it also detracts from the creativity of the composition. Palej believes that the multiple modes of this identity need independence from one other in order to inform each side properly rather than exhibiting too much control: “Your composing still has to be your
202 Ibid. 203 Palej, Interview, December 15, 2017.
76 composing, your creativity unbound by anything, not told by your performance skills what’s possible and what’s not possible. Usually it’s better to do the impossible.”204
Dr. Norbert Palej concluded our discussion with a philosophical outlook on music making as a whole. He found that, often, composing was actually an easy thing to do; in fact,
“it’s even easy to write something that others consider good.”205 However, he believes that writing even one bar of music that has a timeless quality, that would not be forgotten, is extremely difficult and rare. When a bar of music like that is released, “it’s like a wild animal. It will just have its own life and run away. Very often, our creations are just like little bubbles, like blowing bubbles. They kind of flow...and then [they’re] gone. If someone actually manages to release this wild animal, then it’s a great achievement, because that’s rare.”206 He stated that, in the end, no matter what musical hierarchies are in place, whether one is a specialized composer, a composer-performer, or a specialized performer either on a traditional or non- traditional instrument, there is no recipe for “who...survives the trial of time”207. This is not determined by an schooling or qualifications; “in the end, it’s either you hit something, you create something that really resonates with people, or you don’t.”208 And with that final statement, Dr. Palej ended the conversation with, “That would be my final word on this.”209
4.3 Key Themes
After analyzing the narratives, I found the following themes recurring throughout Dr.
204 Ibid. 205 Ibid. 206 Ibid. 207 Ibid. 208 Ibid. 209 Ibid.
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Palej’s story.
4.3.1 Redefining Labels
The first theme I identified was the redefinition of labels. Past composer-performers performed on classical, traditional instruments; however, nowadays, electronics and other modern roles of performance are implemented into modern compositions. Norbert Palej gives a fresh perspective on redefining labels by pointing out that perhaps “performance” is a term that needs to be redefined and enlarged to include all of the modern forms of performance: for example, performing on laptops and tablets. Along this point, if we were to redefine the term
“performance”, Dr. Palej believes that it would be more common to find composer-performers in the redefined sense of the word “performance”.
Instead of redefining composer-performer from past to modern, Palej gives another fresh outlook on the new title of “composer-performer”: along with redefining “performance”, perhaps it is only a modern label because of a change in definition of the “composer” as well. In the past, specialized composers were very rare, if not nonexistent. Perhaps the label of
“composer-performer” does not describe a new musical entity, but the label has formed only to separate oneself from the new and modern “specialized composer”, a composer who does not perform.
4.3.2 Becoming a Composer-Performer
Norbert Palej states that how one becomes a composer-performer has largely to do with the beginning of one’s studies; for example, if someone first begins performing on an instrument, these beginning instrumental studies can later on influence their choices and
78 development as a composer. He believes that perhaps some insecurities a composing performer may experience might come from the fact that they didn’t go through the “ringer” of studying composition in a school setting, going through the steps specialized composers or composition majors go through in their studies.
Dr. Palej’s career trajectory is similar to that of Shostakovich’s, both musicians shifting their balance to composition by limiting their piano performance careers to their own compositions over time. There are no general rules for being a balanced composer-performer, but self-discipline and being able to split one’s schedule are necessary skills, either dividing their year into periods of performance and then periods of composition, or designating time in each day to do both.
According to Norbert, it is not clear-cut whether performance and composition complement each other. They can both be good or bad influences. Performance experience can inform composers of what is realistic, and the composer can imagine first-hand the physical demands of performing their piece. However, it can influence compositions to be derivative if overly influenced by the composer’s muscle memory and general performance ability. Also, finding time to compose is difficult when much of one’s time is spent practicing. Composition experience can potentially help produce a more genuine performance if the composing performer can identify and understand things about the piece in question that theorists wouldn’t be able to put into words; however, this same insight can also cause the performer to overthink and lose the freshness of the piece in performance.
4.3.3 Hierarchies of Musical Activity
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When discussing the possibility of a stigma towards composer-performers, Palej claimed to not have faced any stigma as a composer-performer. He believes that if he had gotten more involved in the specialized performance community, he would have potentially faced some prejudice from specialized pianists. He observes that not only is there a perceived hierarchy between composers and performers, but there is a hierarchy even within the community of composers (for example, choral and film composers versus classical concert composers).
In the end, it is not the hierarchies or the labels that determine whose music stands the test of time, it is simply whoever succeeds in touching others with their creations and performances in a timeless manner.
4.3.4 Changing Habits of Composition
Dr. Palej believes that it is much harder to both compose and perform with the demands of a modern schedule and creative expectations. Back in, for example, Mozart’s day, there was no constant need to reinvent the composition formula with each new composition; composers in the 18th century were expected to simply modify the set formula and freshen it with new variations in the details of the composition and form. Now, this constant challenge to “reinvent” for modern composers requires much more time and active creating, and it has become time- consuming to succeed in doing so while maintaining a performance career. Perhaps this contributed to the specialization of composers and performers.
Modern performers and modern composers also have very different lifestyles.
Concertizing performers must travel a fair amount and often find themselves in hectic, stressful environments. Composers need a certain level of peace and quiet to focus on their craft. This
80 may be something that contributed to specialization, as these lifestyles began to differ more and more.
4.3.5 Composer as Interpreter
Palej often prefers finding other people to perform or conduct his pieces; he finds that performing his own pieces can be extremely stressful as well as a vulnerable experience.
According to Norbert, the double responsibility of executing the performance properly while also worrying about the audience reception of the composition itself can be taxing. However, he believes that a good performance, when all things are positively aligned, can be extremely empowering.
4.3.6 Summary
As mentioned in 4.3 Key Themes, Dr. Palej brings up the point that, in the past, simultaneously producing as a performer and a composer was an attribute ingrained in a musician’s career. Perhaps what is actually modern isn’t the composer-performer identity, but the modern-day, non-performing composers. And in line with that thought, would the term
“performance” now need to be redefined in order to include the performances using electronic instruments or devices that contribute to modern compositions? If we do so, will that enlarge the body of musicians that consider themselves composer-performers? Perhaps it’s not just the modern composer-performer title that needs to be defined, but modern composers and
81 performers as well. And if we do redefine composers or enlarge the definition of performers, we may find that it is actually rare to find someone who is not a composer-performer in some way.
Palej also brings up the relevance of modern technology to modern music and modern musicians in general. Is perhaps the change between past composer-performers and modern composer-performers influenced by technology’s role in music today?
Lastly, Dr. Norbert Palej observes the hierarchies of the music world, amongst composers and in music as a whole. Perhaps instead of facing a specific stigma, composer- performers are simply caught in the middle of perceived hierarchies created between the different labels and different kinds of musicians.
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Chapter Five: Jessie Montgomery
5.1 Participant Introduction
Jessie Montgomery is a New York native violinist, composer and music educator.
Montgomery has been recognized as an important emerging composer by the American
Composers Orchestra, the Sphinx Organization, the Joyce Foundation and the Sorel
Organization through generous grants and fellowships that support and promote her works.
For the 2015 - 2016 season she will be the Composer-Educator for the Albany
Symphony, leading youth education initiatives and performances of recent works. Further attention to her music has come with commissions from the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra, the
Young People’s Chorus of New York, and Cygnus Ensemble. Her music has been featured on national radio by Q2 Music and National Public Radio and is performed regularly by
PUBLIQuartet, the Catalyst Quartet and the Sphinx Virtuosi. She was the inaugural Musician
Fellow at Lighthouse Works in partnership with the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra.
In 2011 - 2012, Montgomery was the Van Lier Composer Fellow at the American
Composers Orchestra, with performances of her works for small ensemble showcased throughout New York City in the SONiC Festival, and the Composers OutFront! Series. In
2008, she was in Residence at the Deer Valley Music Festival under the direction of American composer Joan Tower.
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Since 1999, Montgomery has been affiliated with The Sphinx Organization, which supports the accomplishments of young African-American and Latino string players. Since
2012, Montgomery has held a post as Composer-in-Residence with the Sphinx Virtuosi, a conductor-less string orchestra, has been a two-time laureate in the annual Sphinx Competition, and was awarded a generous MPower grant to assist in the development of her debut album,
Strum: Music for Strings (October, 2015, Azica Records). In 2016, she served as a juror in the annual competition.
An active chamber musician and collaborator, Montgomery has performed with the highly acclaimed Catalyst Quartet, raved by the New York Times as “invariably energetic and finely burnished…performing with earthly vigor.” She was a co-founder of PUBLIQuartet, an ensemble of composers and arrangers playing their own music as well as that of emerging and established contemporary composers. From 2004 - 2009, Montgomery was also a member of the Providence String Quartet, a pioneering ensemble in community-based music education. As well as being a traditionally trained classical musician, Montgomery, has collaborated as an improviser with several avant-garde greats such as Don Byron, Butch Morris and William
Parker.
Montgomery holds a Bachelor’s degree from The Juilliard School in violin performance and a Master’s Degree in composition and film scoring from New York University. Her primary violin teachers have been Sally Thomas and Ann Setzer and her composition teachers and mentors include Ira Newborn, Joan Tower, Derek Bermel and Laura Kaminsky.210
210 “About - JESSIE MONTGOMERY Violinist Composer,” JESSIE MONTGOMERY, accessed December 29, 2017, http://www.jessiemontgomery.com/about.
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5.2 “I’m a ‘Musician’”
5.2.1 Introduction
Jessie’s name came up on several previous occasions before she became involved in this thesis, in casual conversation with friends associated with the Sphinx Organization with her, seeing her name in the Cleveland Institute of Music announcements as a featured guest artist, and this past year over coffee with Juilliard violin professor Joel Smirnoff. It was made clear to me over and over again that Montgomery was someone I needed to talk to and to incorporate into this research. Despite a busy schedule, when Ms. Montgomery expressed a willingness to participate we were able to meet over FaceTime. As Jessie, who I didn’t know personally up until this point, was the first interview of this dissertation to take place, I was quite nervous.
I began reciting a very rehearsed opening statement to what we were doing, “Thank you so much for being a part of this research study; your story is an integral part of the data I’m accruing so – ”
“Yeah, this is going to be fun! I’m super excited!”211
Montgomery disarming reply made me snap out of unnecessary formalities, and I laughed. “Me too!”
5.2.2 Montgomery’s Story
“I found another way”
Jessie Montgomery started her musical studies in violin performance, for which she went to the Juilliard School, pursuing her Bachelor of Music degree. Her desire to begin composing came from the motivation to challenge herself as a musician. She claimed to have
211 Montgomery, Interview, December 13, 2017.
85 felt underdeveloped in her musical interpretative abilities as a violinist, as well as her interpretations as a chamber musician:
I was so much about just playing the violin, [and] I would even say that I hadn’t quite developed my personal sense of musicianship yet. When I started composing, I wanted another way to explore the aspect of ‘interpretation’. If I were to create the music, that would force me to identify with something specific about what it was I was trying to say; I didn’t have that in my playing. I used my interest in composing to redirect my discoveries in that area.212
Montgomery admitted to feeling insecure about the fact that there were composers at
Juilliard when she couldn’t identify as one herself. She even recalled a memory of being denied entry to a Composing for Non-Majors course during her time at Juilliard:
I didn’t get kicked out...I sort of got kicked out. I got accepted, and then I got unaccepted. (laughs) I had submitted some pieces for this class, and I was accepted and registered. I went [to school] in the fall, and the teacher was holding these private meetings to see if we had written anything over the summer. Me, being the 20-year-old kid at the time - I wasn’t thinking about preparing something for my first class; I was thinking I would [just] show up for the class at the beginning of the year. You know, like any other class. In any case, I came, and we had this private meeting. I showed him basically the same stuff I’d shown him last time and some sketches that I had made, and he just shrugged his shoulders and said, “Mm, I don’t think this is going to work.” And I have no idea to this day why he said that. He just said, “I don’t think this is going to be a good fit for you. Maybe try again next year.” I was so, so disappointed, and so confused.213
After recounting this memory, Jessie laughed in disbelief and admitted that to this day, she had no idea what she had done or what the professor was thinking when he decided against admitting her into the class. She considered her overall persona as a possibility, describing herself at the time as “kind of a punky kid; I didn’t necessarily look like a serious person by the way I dressed and stuff, admittedly.”214 Montgomery expressed anger and confusion, wondering
212 Ibid. 213 Ibid. 214 Ibid.
86 why she had come to this class as someone who wanted to write music and yet was told that she wasn’t qualified to or allowed to take part in this learning process.
Despite being barred from a class that she felt was completely suited for her, she didn’t allow this to deter her from pursuing composition; in fact, she surprisingly found it to be a motivator for her for the years that followed. Retrospectively, she believed it was a positive event in the end, as it encouraged her to proactively look for ways to participate in music as a composer: “thankfully, I found another way.”215
Following her unfortunate and perplexing rejection from Composing for Non-Majors,
Ms. Montgomery stumbled upon an extension program for the New York Youth Symphony called Making Scores, a composing seminar. This course was taught by Derek Bermel, a clarinetist and current artistic director at the American Composers Orchestra. No matter who had signed up or what their level was, everyone in the course would receive a performance of their piece. In this non-competitive and supportive environment, Montgomery found herself once again feeling excited about composition as something she wanted to do. Though she had stopped writing music for a long time by then, Making Scores re-sparked her focus on composition as she finished her undergraduate studies.
Montgomery graduated from the Juilliard School soon after and recalled running into a teacher she had stayed in touch with through her undergraduate studies, an instructor at Third
Street Music School in New York, the after-school music program Jessie had participated in at a young age. They shared an encouraging conversation as Montgomery expressed her discomfort with being able to confidently admit her endeavors as a composer:
I was leaving college and I said that to him; he was probably the only person I felt comfortable saying that kind of thing to at the time. He [replied], “Yeah,
215 Ibid.
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but you know strings! Everybody wants to know strings! Everyone wants to know how to use the strings in the orchestra! You make them sound good, [and] everything else sounds fine!” And I was like, “Yeah, you know what? You have a good point!”216
This was the beginning of a long trajectory of productivity and growth as a composer for
Ms. Montgomery; she would go on to write and perform her own works as a member of her quartets soon after, something she claimed was a huge advantage to her career: “I mean, that’s how I learned how to be a composer: by playing my pieces and luckily being in a situation where I had friends and colleagues who were supportive of it and wanted to play my music.”217
An important part of the journey
Jessie Montgomery’s first job was with a music school program called Community
Music Works in Providence. Founded around 1997, She found it to be an excellent program that she felt privileged to be a part of. Community Music Works was looking for a new quartet member to fill what should have been a temporary two-year position, but Montgomery ended up staying for five. The quartet was the faculty-in-residence at Community Music Works, an experience Montgomery found to be a completely different form of education for her, teaching her community development and community activism skills. The quartet performed full-time, presenting around 30 to 40 concerts throughout the year, mostly in the Boston area, Providence area and northern Connecticut. At one point, the subject of composition came up with one of
Ms. Montgomery’s colleagues. During this conversation, Jessie found herself admitting to being involved in composition: “I told one of my colleagues, ‘Yeah, I compose…’ sort of sheepishly,
[I] confessed.”218 Upon knowing this about her, Montgomery’s colleague encouraged her to
216 Ibid. 217 Ibid. 218 Ibid.
88 write pieces for the quartet, pieces that she thought were “sort of dinky”219, something she admits with laughter. “I was just learning and...trying things out. It was [lucky that I] had an environment where I could do that.”220 She was proud to note that one of the pieces she had written during this period of her life ended up being a popular, often-performed work, even to this day. On her time at Community Music Works, Montgomery concludes: “It was a really important part of the whole journey.”221
After her employment with Community Music Works concluded, Jessie moved back to
New York to pursue a graduate degree in film-scoring at NYU. As soon as she moved back,
Montgomery founded the PUBLIQuartet, a quartet with a strong emphasis on new music and commissioning new works. While Montgomery found her film-scoring composition studies at
NYU to be “really, really interesting and definitely influenced the way I think about music”222, she actually found herself spending much more of her time as a performer through the
PUBLIQuartet than she had originally anticipated. PUBLIQuartet commissioned about sixty pieces every year, and during her time with them, the group focused on new music and composers from and residing in New York. As a result, Montgomery also had commissions and performance opportunities as a composer for the PUBLIQuartet, a situation that she again found to be a fortunate and convenient.
Experimenting with specialization
219 Ibid. 220 Ibid. 221 Ibid. 222 Ibid.
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In 2010, Jessie joined her current ensemble, the Catalyst Quartet, a group founded by the
Sphinx Organization. She doesn’t find being a part of this group to be as much of a “theater”223 for her music, but she still finds opportunities to have her works programmed at least once per season. However, there was a period in time after joining the quartet when Montgomery tried to quit performing altogether. Her decision was fueled by her belief that she did not have the ability to do both at a high enough level in the amount of time she had. Feeling this high level of stress, in 2015, she left the Catalyst Quartet to solely pursue composition. She found herself still performing for small gigs here and there, but not in a serious, professional environment she had performed in with her professional quartet. However, she simply wanted to explore the possibility of being a composer, and “ultimately, that didn’t work.”224 Ms. Montgomery realized that being a specialized composer wasn’t what she wanted, that she missed performing and felt incomplete without it in her life. She eventually decided, “Never mind. I’m going to be able to do this because I want to. I find that I need both to be fully fulfilled.”225
Due to varying circumstances, after long discussions with her supportive and understanding former quartet members during her time away from performing, Montgomery was able to rejoin the Catalyst Quartet in April 2017. She calls her current situation “a traditional string quartet life plan at the moment”226; with a full-time quartet engagement with the Catalyst Quartet occupying her time, she claimed to find herself in the most intense scenario of balancing both composition and performance that she has experienced so far. She is, however, happy: “This is what I wanted to do.”227
223 Ibid. 224 Ibid. 225 Ibid. 226 Ibid. 227 Ibid.
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5.2.3 Discussion
“I’m a musician”
When I asked Jessie if the “composer-performer” label was something she felt she identified with, she first clarified that she mostly identified herself to others as a “musician”. As a musician, Montgomery deals with varying levels of involvement in producing and exerting music, either through performance or creation; and while she recognized the composer- performer label as one that applies to musicians involved in multiple modes of music-making, she believed that her musical duties exceed even the responsibilities of a “composer-performer”.
Aspects like promoting, selling, and branding oneself are extremely relevant to Montgomery’s life as a musician, and she believes that this is true for many artists beyond the duties of creating music, beyond being a composer or a performer, but an entrepreneur and media specialist and spokesperson as well: “you’re everything.”228
Ms. Montgomery thought that it was “funny”229 that the composer-performer had become a new label, with a new definition that needed to be discussed and explored. She felt the composer-performer was a natural label to resonate with: if one likes to compose and perform, then quite simply, they are a composer-performer. It also seemed natural to her that someone involved in music would want to be active both as a composer and a performer. For her own identity, being a composer-performer was how she was able to truly hear and interpret music, as well as her way of being able to fully express how she wanted to make music.
228 Ibid. 229 Ibid.
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Despite finding identification with the “composer-performer” to be natural and straightforward, Montgomery expressed her agreement that it is important to redefine the modern “composer-performer” of today, referencing Franz Liszt as a juxtaposing past composer-performer that was both extremely virtuosic as well as compositionally fruitful, and completely accepted as both a pianist and composer (that is, until his irreversible hand injury).
In the present day, when Jessie tells people she composes and performs, they often respond by asking if she does more of “one or the other”230, to which she would reply with a flustered,
“...no…?”231 When she admits to being equally active as both a composer and performer, however, people often respond with incredulity, expressing that it must be very hard to do both, or that it was “over the top”232 for her to have double the ambitions of a specialized musician.
This kind of skeptical response has put “seeds of doubt”233 in her head on her commitment to both sides of music making:
I’ve definitely had…doubt; I stopped performing, thinking, “I need to develop my writing more so that people can take me more seriously,” which is a true thing to have to go through, but it didn’t mean that I had to stop my other passion, and that they couldn’t somehow align and support each other.234
The sentiment of having both performance and composition to support one or the other is shared by Kevin Lau, who had mentioned during our conversation the solace he found from playing piano in conjunction to composing:
It is really nice when I get a chance to go to the piano and empty my mind and fill it with something else; it’s like exercise. I’ve found that it makes the composing easier and smoother. Perhaps it’s something about the refreshing aspect of doing something physical and then going back to creating. So, I think
230 Ibid. 231 Ibid. 232 Ibid. 233 Ibid. 234 Ibid.
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if I was just performing, then I would feel unsatisfied; but with the composing, the performing part becomes much more satisfying.235
Jessie Montgomery attributes the manufacturing of conservatory education as a cause for the modern specialization of musicians. She stated her belief that the modern composer- performer identity is often refuted due to the fact that there are very few conservatory programs that cater to the composer-performer education. During her time as a student at the Juilliard
School, she felt the distinct categories of “the composers” and “the performers” in the student body and believes that the separation between departments gives the student body no other choice but to segregate. As a violin performance major, Montgomery was often left out of the composition circle she wanted to break into, categorized as a performer and a performer only. In her opinion, it doesn’t matter how one becomes a composer: if one wants to compose, no matter their background, then they should just do it. And if one composes, then they are a composer.
Jessie points out that the same musical language is shared by both performers and composers, unlike a foreign language one must start learning from scratch. Why then, she asks, is composing for a performer so out of reach? She expressed her wish that her Composing for
Non-Majors professor could have had a more accepting philosophy when considering her for the course: as she was someone who was interested in writing and spent time doing so, she wished he would have given her potential a platform on which it could be met. Montgomery recalled, “It was just one of those experiences where I was like, ‘Why is this a thing that somehow isn’t obtainable?’ Like, somebody just decided that this wasn’t for me.”236
“I couldn’t choose”
235 Lau, Personal Conversation, December 15, 2017. 236 Ibid.
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Norbert Palej and I discussed in length the challenges of balancing a double-discipline life as a composer-performer. This is something Montgomery also finds to be challenging for herself, especially in addition to all of the responsibilities of a modern musician such as answering emails, advertising, and finding patrons. However, she expressed her dedication in spite of the hardships:
The actual feeling and the desire and the impulse to do both are strong; wanting to practice both of those things at once is really strong. Managing a career that’s demanding on both ends: that is hard, definitely. For everyone who lives their lives like that, they’re going to have different levels of intensity on either end.237
Despite this, she feels that even with the hectic nature of her lifestyle, there was no other choice for her:
I couldn’t decide, couldn’t choose one or the other; I missed playing: I spent 25 years playing the violin, and I was just going to stop all of a sudden? That just doesn’t make any sense. (laughs) I still have this other thing that I really want to do, so I’m just going to figure it out! I’m still figuring it out.238
In light of the difficulties of balancing a composer-performer career and lifestyle, Ms.
Montgomery has role models in mind that were able to achieve this balance. She looked up to these figures throughout her career: one of them was the aforementioned Derek Bermel, whose virtuosic clarinet career balances evenly with his respected composition career, as well as jazz band directors and musicians, who bring together musicians, curate concerts, compose and perform during the concerts, improvise, and virtually do everything in the process of putting music out there: “that’s a thing, that’s a model. It’s not quite how I do things, but it’s proved that there’s some kind of format for that.”239 Kevin Lau also offered some examples of role models for successful composer-performers, naming pianist-composer Heather Schmidt and
237 Ibid. 238 Ibid. 239 Ibid.
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Gary Kulesha, who alongside piano performance and composition is also an active conductor, as models for him during his years as a student. He however points out that “a lot of [these] are people that I can think of are a generation above me, which is why it’s great that you’re doing this dissertation, because you’re looking at people who are currently still doing it.”240
“I am a composer”
I asked Jessie Montgomery to expand on something she had mentioned briefly earlier, during an anecdote about her time working for Community Music Works. When recalling a conversation she had had with a colleague about being a composer, she used the word
“sheepish”. I asked her to elaborate on why she had used this word in describing how she felt at the time, to which she laughed: “I don’t know why it’s such a thing [for an instrumentalist] to say, ‘I am a composer.’ I don’t know why that’s a thing. Maybe that’s a question we’ll just have to keep looking for the answer for. I think it’s funny.”241 Montgomery believes that confidence could be a factor; she knew that at points when she lacked confidence as a composer, she drew connections to her lack of formal experience and education: “I had a different path; I didn’t ever study composition. I would express, ‘I didn’t get formal education on composition, so there’s this [and that] that I feel uncomfortable with…[etc.]’”242
Ms. Montgomery admits that her experience with violin and string performance has influenced her to favor strings as her most comfortable compositional sonority. The works for strings make up the bulk of her work as a composer. Montgomery admitted that she found it odd
240 Lau, Personal Conversation, December 15, 2017. 241 Montgomery, Interview, December 13, 2017. 242 Ibid.
95 for composers not to play an instrument, and expressed confusion and personal lack of understanding for how a composer without a principal instrument thought and produced music:
...because then it’s totally conceptual, and music to me, as a form of communication, is not a thing that happens just in your brain. This is my personal take on it - it’s a physical thing that you physically create and then physically respond to: that’s music. And I feel like, all of the memorable, let’s say, most impactful and long-lasting composers, I dare to say, played an instrument at least. Maybe they weren’t concertizing all over the world, but they had facility and continued to develop their facility as performers. Or they used whatever instrument that they played to compose off of, [or] would give performances of their works in order to get people to know their music.243
Jessie believes that cerebral composition techniques, like serialism and other mathematical systems of creating music, can be interesting or supplemental to the overall form of a piece by bringing in another language to the musical work; however, when a piece is solely approached cerebrally and particularly in those forms, she doesn’t find it to be musical: “It’s not as interesting to me as far as a way to communicate. I focus on the aspect of communication in my music on purpose.”244
She also pointed out that modern technology has changed the journey to becoming a composer or creator for many musicians, whether they are composer-performers or specialized composers. Montgomery explained that in a way, anyone can do it, given the proper tools and programs such as Ableton Live, Logic Pro X, and Max MSP: “those people are becoming composers with a completely different kind of path. It’s not a formal, traditional path.”245
Montgomery finds the emergence of these innovative and unconventional tracks to becoming a composer refreshing and encouraging, as she acknowledges that her own composition education was not formal or traditional:
243 Ibid. 244 Ibid. 245 Ibid.
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Whether or not I’ve done a formal conservatory education in composing doesn’t have to define how serious I am about it. And I think that if you’re creating music, [then] that’s what you’re doing. The identifier has definitely become a hang-up, but it doesn’t have to be that way.246
“If you want to do it, you do it”
For her parting words, Jessie Montgomery shared her life motto: “If you want to do it, you do it.”247 With a chuckle, she pointed out that making music doesn’t hurt anyone; the creation of art is good for the humanity, and “it’s your life, so you might as well just try to do what you want.”248 In the face of difficulties, whether it’s balancing composition and performance or finding confidence as a composing performer, Jessie simply doesn’t want to take the time to acknowledge how hard something can be. “The hardness of it will be there no matter what. Life is hard, [and] it’s going to be there, that feeling of, ‘What do I do with this?’”249
At the end of the interview, I thanked Ms. Montgomery for the vibrant conversation we had just wrapped up, and she responded by thanking me back. “The questions [in this research] are [ones] that I had. They’re questions that I had when I was just figuring out that I wanted to do it. These were questions that I had but wasn’t brave enough to ask them out loud. I’m glad you’re asking them and giving us a voice.”250 And lastly? “Forget about the naysayers and do your thing.”251
246 Ibid. 247 Ibid. 248 Ibid. 249 Ibid. 250 Ibid. 251 Ibid.
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5.3 Key Themes
After analyzing the narratives, I found the following themes recurring throughout
Montgomery’s story.
5.3.1 Choosing the Composer-Performer Label
While Jessie Montgomery has faced both outer and inner voices of doubt, she has always chosen to pursue the composer-performer path. Her choice of words shows her conviction in forging this path: “I found another way,” “I chose to compose,” and her life motto,
“if you want to do it, you do it.” Montgomery claimed to find the “modern” composer- performer label intriguing because, to her, the concept of someone both performing and composing seems so natural to her; she expresses that this is how she personally wants to approach music. There was a moment in her career when she faced doubts about being able to balance the demands of the composer-performer lifestyle and to be able to achieve the level she would want to excel at. After taking a hiatus from the Catalyst Quartet and working as a specialized composer for a few years, Jessie made the active decision to continue pursuing both composition and performance.
5.3.2 Public Perception of the Composer-Performer
Montgomery has experienced doubts expressed by her peers and colleagues claiming that her ambitions to both compose and perform were “over the top” and overly difficult. Her experience with Juilliard’s Composing for Non-Majors course revealed to her the potential prejudice against the qualifications of a composing performer. On the other hand, she also received positive feedback for pursuing a career as a composer-performer. Montgomery was
98 encouraged and praised by a former teacher from Third Street Music School for having both the perspective of a composer and performer. Ms. Montgomery also expressed gratitude to role models like Derek Bermel, who encouraged and inspired her through a period of doubt as a composer.
5.3.3 The Unconventional Path
Without being prompted on the subject, Jessie speculated out loud that a reason for the specialization of composers and performers may be attributed to the separation of departments in higher music education. She observed that the modern digital realm that we live in has changed the way composers become composers and how they compose. With the help of modern technology, there are many different paths a composer can take to pursue a successful composition career that do not require a formal conservatory education. While Montgomery earned a Master’s Degree in Composition and Film Scoring, she began composing and performing her own pieces before earning a degree in composition; during that time, she had composed pieces that are still performed to this day. She finds the fact that there are musicians succeeding by following this unconventional path to composition inspiring, as someone who also had an unconventional composition education.
5.3.4 Music as a Physical Art
Ms. Montgomery strongly believes that music is a physical form of art that should be physically created and physically reacted to. This advocates the notion that composers should have facility in at least one instrument and be able to make music physically in order to fully communicate through music. Without this performance background, their music-making comes
99 from a purely cerebral point of view. She observed that composers who are still relevant and whose music is still performed currently all had a principal instrument of some sort.
5.3.5 Balance as a Composer-Performer
Montgomery made an interesting point that anyone who lives a multifaceted life like the composer-performer will experience different levels of intensity from the different facets of the identity at any given time. As someone who had battled the stress of maintaining a career in both composition and performance, she claims that the hardships associated with being a composer-performer simply boils down to balance: being able to balance the duties of performing and composing at a high level, at a high frequency and consistency. To add to the equation are the many more duties that accompany the label: the tasks of self-branding and self- promotion are also important aspects of being a composer-performer, and in general, a musician in the modern world. While these responsibilities may not be exclusive to the composer- performer, composer-performers might find more responsibility to do so, as there is more ambiguity to the label.
5.3.6 Summary
Ms. Jessie Montgomery did not immediately resonate with the label of “composer- performer”, but instead felt that “musician” was more accurate for her. This perspective shines light on the difference between composer-performers of the past and modern composer- performers, when past composer-performers were simply musicians, yet now the label is necessary to distinguish between specialized musicians and modern composer-performers.
Montgomery also has an inspiring sense of conviction in her pursuit for a career as a
100 modern composer-performer while remaining open-minded and aware of the hardships that may arise from pursuing this musical path. Montgomery did however raise a question that she could not answer: why instrumentalists who compose, including herself, find it hard to claim that they are composers. She suspects that this is a confidence issue, a complex derived from lacking the same formal training as composers who earned degrees and/or benefited from other forms of formal education. This is interesting to me, as Ms. Montgomery has earned an impressive number of commissions and residencies as a composer from respected institutions and performance groups, as well as a Master’s degree in composition; yet, she still recognizes this as an intriguing situation that she can relate to.
Chapter Six: Alice Hong
6.1 Participant Introduction
Alice Hong began her violin studies at the age of ten and began composing at the age of nine; she has since performed across America, Canada, Czech Republic, and China in venues such as the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C., Avery Fisher Hall in New York City,
Severance Hall, Atlanta Symphony Hall, and at festivals such as Kneisel Hall, Sarasota Music
Festival, Spoleto Festival USA, the Banff Centre, Toronto Summer Music Festival, and Heifetz
Institute of Music, among others. Her recorded and live performances have been featured on
WABE 90.1 Atlanta, WSMR 89.9 Tampa and CBC Toronto, and she was featured on CBC’s
2018 edition of “30 Hot Classical Musicians Under 30”.
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As an avid chamber musician, she has performed alongside esteemed musicians such as
James Ehnes, Frans Helmerson, Mihaela Martin, Jonathan Crow, Andrés Díaz, Atlanta
Symphony Orchestra and Toronto Symphony Orchestra members and toured with Heifetz
Institute’s Heifetz on Tour. For the summer of 2018, she joined Lincoln Center Stage in performing chamber music daily on Holland America’s Nieuw Amsterdam.
In an orchestral setting, Alice performs with the Toronto Symphony Orchestra,
Kitchener-Waterloo Symphony and Charleston Symphony Orchestra as a substitute violinist and has held leading positions for orchestras at Spoleto Festival USA, Sarasota Music Festival,
Colorado College Summer Music Festival, Shepherd School Symphony Orchestra, the
Cleveland Institute of Music, Brevard Music Center, and orchestral ensembles at the Banff
Centre. She has been a featured composer-performer in Atlanta Symphony Orchestra’s
Conversations of Note series with Robert Spano.
As an international award-winning composer, Alice’s first symphony was premiered at age 11 and has since won multiple awards from the ASCAP Morton Gould Awards and first prizes at the 2nd International Keuris Composition Competition, Pikes Peak Young Composers
Competition, Cleveland Institute of Music’s Carl E. Baldessarre Competition, NorCal Viola
Society Commission Contest 2014, and third prize and audience prize for Land’s End
Ensemble’s Composition Competition 2018. Her compositions have been performed in
Hungary, China, Czech Republic, Canada, across America, and featured as film scores for
Studio 3D productions. She is currently published by Edition MatchingArts and have had her pieces programmed in venues such as the Kennedy Center of Performing Arts in Washington,
D.C., the Primrose International Viola Competitions recitals, ASO Conversation of Note series, and the Northern California Viola Society as the commissioned work for their Young Violists
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Competition. Her orchestral piece “Phoenix” was read by the Toronto Symphony Orchestra; other performers of her pieces include members of the New York Philharmonic, Toronto
Symphony Orchestra and the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra, members of the Cypress String
Quartet and members of the Rolston String Quartet, Ludwig Symphony Orchestra, the
Amersfoort Youth Orchestra, CIM Symphony Orchestra, and students at Rice University,
Peabody Conservatory and Cleveland Institute of Music. She, herself, has been given the opportunity to perform her pieces at the Kennedy Center and as part of the Spoleto Festival
USA’s 2017 season, and frequently participates in new music ensembles and premieres. Some of her principal teachers include Norbert Palej and Pierre Jalbert.
Alice holds a Master’s degree in violin performance studying privately with Cho-Liang
Lin at Rice University's Shepherd School of Music as a Dorothy Richard Starling Foundation
Scholar, and a Bachelor’s Degree from the Cleveland Institute of Music studying privately with
David Updegraff, along with a minor in composition. She is currently a doctoral candidate at the University of Toronto under the tutelage of Toronto Symphony Orchestra concertmaster
Jonathan Crow, pursuing her Doctorate in Musical Arts as a Harold Carter Fellowship
Recipient.
6.2 “I Am Who I Am and I Love What I Love”
Student life as a composer-performer
I arrived as a freshman at the Cleveland Institute of Music with high musical ambitions but little confidence to achieve them. Little did I know that this was the beginning of a very hard climb for which I had very little idea of where to begin and what tools I had to do so. The self-confidence battles I would endure in my first few years at CIM were a great challenge to
103 my identification with the composer-performer, and unfortunately during this time, I almost abandoned the identity. As much as I wanted to excel at both violin and composition, I felt that I was entering CIM as one of the weaker players; as a result, I hid the fact that I also composed.
As I was experiencing this lack of confidence in my abilities on my principal instrument, I feared I had been wrong to think that I was a qualified composer as well. On top of that, there was not another performance major who composed, or a composition major who also performed. Despite this inhibition and adverse attitude, I signed on to take composition lessons for non-majors with the DMA students at CIM, not expecting more than to learn for learning’s sake.
A few months in, I found the courage to show my compositions to Steven Kohn, professor of electronic music. We listened to my piano trio on his luxurious surround-sound speakers in the electronic lab, and his natural enthusiasm filled me with a bit of much-needed affirmation. With his accolades, I stepped out of the ambient lamp lighting of the lab and back into fluorescent lights of the basement hallway. This magical moment of positivity faded away as I reacquainted myself to the CIM where I was destined to spend my whole day practicing open strings once again.
The seed of inspiration that had rooted during my one meeting with Professor Kohn finally came to fruition two years later, the first time I put a piece on the composition studio’s recital. It was a solo cello piece written for my best friend. We were both timid students taking a leap of faith: he, also feeling like one of the weaker cellists at the school, wanted to prove to himself and others of what he could do under pressure, and I was putting a piece of mine in concert for the first time at CIM, when barely anyone even knew that I composed. We practiced together for the few weeks leading up to the recital, and I would hear my piece being practiced
104 under tempo when I walked by his favorite practice room on my way to class. On the day of the concert, I gripped the seat as he walked onstage. As he played, I was so highly concentrated that
I almost felt as if we could have communicated telepathically if we wanted. I was curled up in a ball, stiff as a board – it was the first time I had heard a piece of mine played live in four years.
There were a million conflicting thoughts flying by: I hate that measure. This phrase rambles on too long. Oh the hard part is coming up, the hard part is coming up, the hard part is coming
- okay, whew, he’s doing great…What’s worse, performing when feeling nervous or being nervous for someone else’s performance, with no control over any second of it?
When Kyle let the final note fade away, the audience responded with warm applause. He stood with great poise that I hadn’t seen in my goofy friend often, and he scanned the audience for me to gesture to. I stood with the same shyness I had felt as a child playing my own piece at the mall and sat down as quickly as I could after. As I got up to leave the hall, the woman behind me tapped my arm and joked, “I’ll be waiting for Yo-Yo Ma’s recording of this soon!”
This sparked a moment of true joy for me, aside from my insecurities at the time as a musician in general; for just that moment, I simply enjoyed the fact that I was proud of my friend for the great performance he had been determined to deliver and succeeded in doing. I was also proud that I had overcome my fear that day to put my music in public and in front of my peers at CIM.
However nerve-wracking and relatively insignificant my first premiere at CIM was, I began to slowly crawl out of my shell after. I began applying to composition competitions and showing more of my music to peers, including performing one of my own pieces on my first recital, Phoenix. As well as I knew the piece and the many intricate details and sounds I wanted for it, the knowledge in a way only made things harder. The performance tested me as a performer, composer, musician, and human. I spent hours in the months leading up to the recital
105 practicing my piece but feeling dissatisfied, all the while musing over the fact that I was here, spending time agonizing over a piece of music that I had created as if it were Beethoven or
Brahms. It was a constant battle of justifying if my piece deserved as much attention as I was giving it and being constantly unhappy with how it was sounding.
The performance was, in all honesty, not a good one. I felt a sense of panic for the majority of the 6 and a half minutes stemming from every doubt I had in my mind, about my playing ability, about the integrity of the piece, about the audience reaction, and about each note that came and went that I found something to cringe about. When I finished, the applause was polite and lukewarm. I walked off stage and immediately began panicking about the next piece, trying to move forward from what had just happened.
For a while, I looked back on the experience as a negative one. I cringed at the memory of it, felt a hint of shame when I saw the friends who had been there to witness it, and avoided listening to the recording for months. Yet it and the recital as a whole proved in retrospect to be a cathartic release of my fears. In my most uncomfortable time of my life as a musician, I was forced to perform an hour of difficult music and my own composition for the critics I feared the most: my friends. In a way, it was my first step out of the shelter I had been hiding the identity I resonated most with: the composer-performer. My biggest fear had been faced and was now in the past, regardless of whether it was a triumph or not (it wasn’t). Without consciously realizing what was churning inside of me, I began walking and working with a bit more purpose. I wanted more than what I was doing, and I was simply tired of wasting time concerned about being inadequate.
Returning to the composer-performer identity
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My senior year began the period for which I began seeking opportunities for myself - still a bit apologetically, but nevertheless not taking no for an answer. There were still moments when I faltered in confidence; for example, I recall an occasion when I felt embarrassed after a premiere of a viola and flute duet. I had written outside of my comfort zone for the piece and decided as it was being performed that the risk hadn’t paid off. As the audience applauded, and the performers gestured to me (after a beautiful performance on their part), I found myself unable to stand and acknowledge the applause. I still remember Mr. Fitch approaching me after, while I was still sitting in the same seat, poking a finger at me as he reprimanded, “When an audience claps, you stand up. Got it?”
Coincidentally, the president of the school had begun an initiative for the school to begin embracing and showcasing what he called the “composer-virtuosi”, or the “whole musician”. A double-degree program for composers and instrumentalists had just been introduced, and two freshmen composer-performers entered that year. Suddenly, there was a perfect niche for me at the school I had not had a place entirely in for the past three years. My favorite class was
Kohn’s electronic music course, in which I was the only performance major but treated like an equal by the professor. After this class, I would go to the composition lab that the composition students helped me sneak into in order to format my new orchestra piece in time for CIM’s orchestra readings, an annual reading and recording of newly written orchestra pieces by CIM composition students. Despite being more stressed than I had ever been in my life trying to balance graduate audition violin repertoire and preparing composition scores, I was happier than ever. Every hour I spent in front of the computer screen resizing measure numbers, sketching at a piano or adding reverb to electronic pads was fulfilling for me: I was finally composing in full force again!
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Often, the composition majors would take me under their wing. They taught me remedial skills like Finale shortcuts, how to use the 11x17 printer, and the rules of measure spacing; they also let me use their resources and helped me out in the electronic lab with technical things they had learned years before. I was and am deeply in debt to them. However, there were the occasional times when their true opinion of my work would reveal itself.
Sometimes while helping me out with my scores, teasing remarks would be exchanged about my incompetence with Finale Notation program or my affinity towards basic pentatonicism.
Usually a quip along the lines of “shouldn’t you be practicing violin instead anyway?” would follow. Besides the occasional pang of inadequacy or panic, I took them simply as funny exchanges between friends.
After the orchestral readings, when comments were passed around about each piece read, I was taken back when a very helpful and warm friend of mine began describing my piece as “lacking forward-thinking, a knock-off of works from the 1900s, not a useful addition to modern music, doesn’t need to exist”. Even his tone of voice changed from friendly to almost accusatory. The doubts lurking below the fragile surface of eagerness sprang into high-energy.
He voiced my greatest fears: am I just a fraud? Is my music worth creating at all? Does it all just sound like bad Ravel? Perhaps I should just continue on as a violinist and forget the composition stuff? His last comment was, “But for a non-composer, the piece is good.”
By then, I had already applied to graduate programs as a composition major, advancing to the interview round for University of Michigan and the Juilliard School. My winter term was spent pouring over music history Sparknotes and Wikipedia printouts of contemporary composers’ bios while traveling on trains and flights, squeezing practicing violin into my schedule whenever I could. The same friend who had written me off as “good, for a non-
108 composer” prepped me with mock interviews in which I stumbled upon every single thing I said. My interview at Michigan, with nothing but our mocks and Wikipedia to rely on, started poorly. I forgot the name of the person who was interviewing me from sheer nerves and my phone, which had had no service up until I entered the interview room, immediately went off eight times to alert at max volume the texts that didn’t come through in the past hour. Despite this, I found my voice as I sat across from Evan Chambers (whom I now will never forget the name of) and Paul Schoenfield, and the “um”s that had frequented my mock interviews magically went dormant. I surprised myself in the interview, realizing that I really did have enthusiasm for what I could do, wanted to do, and wanted to learn. Mr. Chambers did the questioning, wondering who my musical influences were, what my compositional education was like, what I thought of certain contemporary composers and my goals as one myself;
Schoenfield said only one word in that interview as he flipped through my orchestral score.
“Beautiful.”
Afterwards, I grabbed a complimentary bagel from the welcome table and enjoyed the large weight off my shoulders. Once again, I had serious doubts that I would get a callback which were only aggravated by remembering that my phone making more noise than I did, but I was proud to have gotten as far as I did. To my surprise, Michigan wasn’t done with me yet: I got a call, inviting me to meet the rest of the faculty. I prepared for more in-depth questioning on my knowledge of contemporary composers, skimming over my notes once more. However, after greeting Michael Dougherty, Erik Santos, and Kristin Kuster, handing them my portfolio
CD and settling down for the line of fire, the first question asked was:
“Tell us about your experiences as someone who composes and performs.”
Composers’ names that had been swimming in my short-term memory drained
109 immediately.
“Well,” I began with my own orchestral piece playing faintly in the background. “I performed and composed from an early age, and the two always went hand-in-hand, especially when my main instrument was the piano. I composed as much as I practiced, and I couldn’t live without one or the other, which is still true. I performed my own pieces as a child and recently performed the solo violin version of this orchestral piece on my recital. I would feel unfulfilled with only one or the other in my life and I feel happiest when I am involved in both.”
The faculty nodded their heads agreeably; it seemed that I had unintentionally hit several nails on the head. Unbeknownst to me, University of Michigan, like CIM, was starting an initiative to bring composers who could play an instrument as well as play their own music at a high level to the school. They were looking to revive the composer-performer!
A month later, in a hotel in Washington, D.C., I was dressing for a performance of the very same violin sonata I had had a panic attack over in my junior recital at the Kennedy Center, when an email arrived offering a full-scholarship to University of Michigan as a composition graduate student. The deciding attribute was most likely the fact that I was a composer- performer. Was it a coincidence that, at the very same time I was embracing the identity of composer-performer again, it seemed more of the music community was also interested in embracing it as well? Up until this year of my life, it simply felt as though the “composer- performer” was not interesting, nor was it legitimate or relevant, even gimmicky. Now there seemed to be some sort of quiet, budding revolution taking place that I was so excited to see and be a part of. I celebrated that day by performing my own composition at the Kennedy Center to represent CIM and its “composer-virtuosi” theme; for the first time in a while, I felt qualified and extremely proud to do so.
110
My Juilliard interview followed in March, and I took a desk along with other auditioners in a dance studio that was blocked off for pre-interview testing. We were enclosed in walls made entirely of mirrors, and the clump of desks for us graduate students faced the undergraduates sitting opposite from us, as if we were partaking in some kind of academic showdown. My eyes met a nervous undergraduate auditioner directly across from me twiddling his pencil furiously, and no one said a word; I felt extremely claustrophobic. When the test was finally administered, heavy sighs filled the room as everyone sank into the tense concentration that was necessary for the next hour, filling out these papers that would determine so much of our futures. I, however, was strangely excited about the test: this was the first quantitative composition test of my life! I was extremely curious how I would do alongside these composition majors.
Afterwards, my interviews were held with Christopher Rouse and John Corigliano. In both studios, I sat at their desk and handed them my scores and CDs with the realization soon after that neither of them heard my music in the prescreening round. In both interviews, 30 seconds or so of each piece on my CD were played as they listened for the first time, calculating my capabilities. Then followed further ear-training testing, as I could have scored higher on the
Messiaen rhythm dictation. When I had eased both of their ear-training concerns enough, the same comment came back to me:
“You’ve got some talent and your music is good, but if you’ve never even taken a composition class besides lessons, there are definitely holes in your education that we’d have to catch you up in. Your test shows that your ear is okay, but taking composition theory classes would have better prepared you. Do you know a lot of the current composers out there right now? That’s stuff you just don’t get to know as well as a performance major.”
111
I defended myself by listing all of the opportunities I had at CIM: taking part in electronic music, orchestration, orchestra readings, studio recitals, and how I had been studying independently about new music. It was enough to elicit a hesitant “okay, thank you” from each of them, and I was sent on my way. That was the end; now it was time to practice for my violin audition.
For a while, just getting any positive feedback from the composition faculty at Juilliard was enough to satisfy me. I had never expected to even pass the prescreening round, and I had, in a twisted way, enjoyed taking the audition that my fellow auditioners probably would never describe as “fun”. I finished the year off with what felt like a victory lap: taking first prize in CIM’s Composer-Virtuosi competition in its inaugural year, for which competitors were to play their own music, performing the same winning piece on my senior recital to exponentially more enthusiasm than the reception I had received at my junior recital, and being placed on the waitlist for Juilliard (which at the time, was more than enough for me!)
The more I enjoyed being a composer-performer and experienced success as one, the more realities came to reveal itself about the music community’s view on the composer- performer. Performance majors began to find the identity fascinating and were even inspired to try their hand at composition themselves. My best friend, Kyle, ended up putting an entire 20- minute cello choir composition on his senior recital! Performers would also ask me to write them a piece, almost as if there was some novelty to performing a performer’s work rather than a composer’s work. Composition students, the same ones that helped me prepare my scores and interviews, seemed to react with a very different tone. The sentiments that were hinted at in the orchestra reading discussions came to the forefront as I received more opportunities as a composer-performer. It was as if all of the positive reinforcement I had received as a composer
112 was invalid because I wasn’t a legitimate composition major, and that as a performance major, I was in some way robbing composers of the opportunities they deserved. In fact, I wonder if it would have eased their mind if I had decided to become “one of them” as a composer friend suggested to me, “You seem to be doing better as a composer; you might as well switch full- time so you don’t have to do anything half-assed.”
6.3 Discussion
I was deeply concerned by the comment above and those similar to it. I didn’t at all believe that being a composer-performer was a means of composing and performing at 50% of the effort. When I chatted with Kevin Lau about the label of composer-performer, he gave an insightful explanation that resonated with me:
People in general are more comfortable with being able to provide and interface with labels. It’s useful, but it’s a simplification, because categorization is a means of simplifying. Composer-performer is also a category, but it’s a bit more complex of a category, so it requires more investigation. And that investigation might necessarily take the form of, ‘Oh, well how much do you do?’ and ‘How valid is that?’ People want to know what that means more. Depending on the culture, it may take the form of a stigma. They may be thinking, ‘What do you actually do?’ It’s like people who are multimodal, where one simple label does not suffice to describe the breadth of that person. I guess with composer-performers, we’ve gotten to that stage where it might be a thing that’s hard to talk about.252
Perhaps it was troubling to composers that performers were encroaching on their territory and taking their opportunities because it seems like, for performers, there is less effort, time and devotion paid towards composing. Perhaps composers expect that performer’s compositions receive more unsolicited attention because of some kind of novelty factor. In
CIM’s Composer-Virtuosi competition, every competitor was a performance major; perhaps
252 Lau, Personal Conversation, December 15, 2017.
113 this was revealing that the composer-performers who were benefiting from the school’s new
“theme” were mostly performance majors who composed.
Relations between composers and performers. Should composers have a principal instrument on which they could perform on as well? When composing and performing simultaneously was once the norm of the music world, all composers had at least one principal instrument on which they were fluent. In my experience in taking and observing composition classes and lessons, so much of my compositional studies focused on notation, idiomatic writing and communicating instructions to the performer: I would think that being fluent at an instrument and performing more helps inform these aspects of composers’ studies. I have so often been a part of, or heard about from fellow performers, new music concerts where there was frequent grumbling from the performers about how unnecessarily hard or legitimately impossible some passages were. A dance choreographer wouldn’t direct dances if they did not dance themselves; while it is hardly possible to get to know every instrument intimately, I personally believe composers have an obligation to be mindful of the performer’s perspective and would be better equipped to do so with performance experience themselves. Perhaps performers are more inclined to perform other performers’ compositions because of the shared innate understanding of what constitutes as reasonable demands on performers.
Then there is the other side of the spectrum. In retrospect, I wanted more clarification to my waitlist result at Juilliard. I would happily assume that my music was not as qualified as the other auditioners that came that day; yet, both of the faculty I had met with seemed more concerned about my education as a performance major hindering my progress as a composer.
With regards to the fact that composition and performance are indeed two different fields of
114 music that obviously require specific skill sets, I wonder how my general music education as a musician under the category of “performance major” failed to properly prepare me in ear- training and theory for this audition, while a composition major’s education would have.
Shouldn’t we all strive for the same level of ear-training and theory proficiency, as well as the same coverage of music history? Why would a music school specifically design the composition and performance programs so that one would be stronger than the other in general musical skills? It’s entirely possible that I actually had “holes” in my education that would’ve made me unqualified to study at Juilliard as a composition major, but if it is the result of a school curriculum, then I feel that this is something that should be examined.
At CIM and since my studies there, I have taken courses both in composition and performance. In composition classes, composers are often encouraged over and over again to listen intimately in a way that simulates being immersed in the sound, the way a performer is when playing in an ensemble. They are constantly encouraged to see their own music from the perspective of the performer. Performers, on the other hand, are encouraged to study scores and be aware of all of the elements of the composition, staying true to the composer’s markings and intentions, and being mindful of the whole ensemble’s roles instead of narrowing their focus on their own part only, the way composers are well-versed in doing so. Even discussions about performers in composition class seem as if they were on a topic of people far removed from the music-making process. In performance classes or new music rehearsals, sometimes performers treat the score with skepticism, as if they need to decode what’s written in front of them in a way that makes no logical sense to them.
Potential reasons for the “chasm” between composers and performers. With that
115 statement, I ask, is perhaps the current course design for composition programs and performance programs to blame for this chasm between composers and performers? Are music schools unintentionally encouraging the separation by educating us in increasingly more specialized ways? Since early on in music history, composing and performing went naturally hand-in-hand without discussion; now, it’s as if doing so is a recent, fascinating, even potentially concerning development.
This chasm doesn’t seem to have many benefits. As mentioned above, without stepping into the performer’s shoes, how can composers confidently, efficiently and effectively relate what they want to their performers? And without knowing what it’s like to compose a piece, can a performer truly come to appreciate the dedication, vulnerability, and personal connection of the piece they’re playing? Perhaps many performers have had enough bad experiences, where composers unintentionally made inconsiderate demands on the performer, that a rift in composer and performer relations has developed. Or perhaps performers don’t have enough intention or understanding to follow through with exactly what the composers want, causing a strain on the relationship in that direction. This chasm, in my opinion, is an obvious consequence to this increasing lack of ability to relate to one another. It seems also that composers are moving in one direction of new music, one that may result in unidiomatic writing, but performers are less eager to follow along. Is this an indirect result of the increasing lack of relatability between composers’ perspectives and performers’ perspectives? One of the praises I most often receive from performers is the accessibility of my pieces, as well as appreciation for the lack of difficult and unnecessary jumps, leaps, and extended techniques to get my point across. However, this same accessibility is criticized by composers as not being creative enough and resourceful of the many different sounds an instrument can make. Maybe
116 this is actually an indication that performers are not open-minded enough in the current movement of new music, which also contributes to the chasm between composition and performance. Perhaps another catalyst for this divide is the exponentially increasing expectations of a performer in modern-day: with the modern orchestra audition formula and the surplus of talented players rising every day, it is difficult to keep up with the constantly increasing level of performance while concentrating equally on another form of music-making.
Concluding thoughts. In my personal opinion, this chasm between composers and performers hinders relationships between composers and performers as well as musicianship as a whole; the music community needs composer-performers. Composers would benefit from performing more; performers would benefit from composing more. Imagine the kind of music we would make if every musician took part on both sides of the equation and understood each other’s perspectives when collaborating. In my experiences, so often have I felt pressure from myself and others to choose between performance and composition. I have also been labeled as one or the other, as if to appease composers who felt that the identity did not merit the musician as a true composer, or performers who didn’t find the identity to be relevant or worthwhile. The composer-performer should not be a threat or an anomaly, but a natural occurrence. I was never asked to compose but felt it natural and compelling to create when playing the piano, even at a young age. In my most insecure moments as a musician, I hid away both as a violinist and a composer. In the moment where I was forced to face my insecurities, I as both a performer and a composer emerged. As much as I tried to abandon the composer-performer identity in order to stay hidden in the woodwork, I realized I am who I am and I love what I love. I have loved to compose and perform since the beginning of my life, and when I finally came to embrace and
117 fight for who I was and what I could do, so quickly did I feel fulfilled musically and in happiness.
6.4 Key Themes
I found the following themes recurring throughout my experiences as a composer performer.
6.4.1 Composer and Performer Relations
A few instances in my experience as a composer-performer made me believe that there is not only a chasm between composing and performing, but, because of this chasm, relationship strains have developed between composers and performers due to less understanding from one side to another. Performers would complain that a piece was written by the composer without the performer in mind, resulting at times in a near-impossible piece.
Composers would often be frustrated with performers for not extending understanding for their vision and not being able to execute their piece properly. Often, because of this attitude, I have been told by performers that they would prefer to play pieces written by fellow performers, as the music would often be more easily grasped, both physically and mentally.
6.4.2 Public Perception of the Composer-Performer
With CIM celebrating “composer-virtuosi”, and the identity of “composer-performer” being embraced by the composition faculty at University of Michigan, I felt that the composer- performer identity was experiencing a revival or emergence in the musical world just as I was also personally embracing the identity in full force. While there have been movements toward
118 reviving the composer-performer, the composer-performer doesn’t yet seem to be universally acknowledged as an identity that can execute on the same level as a specialized composer or a specialized performer.
After my audition at Juilliard, I chalked up my admission results to my standing amongst other composition applicants. However, I later realized a factor may have been the faculty’s doubt that a performer could keep up with the likes of specialized composers. In addition, the negative comments I received from my composition peers who saw my lack of specialization as a hindrance rather than an asset to my musicianship made me ask myself: “But why?” In the face of these kinds of comments or in situations where I am being featured on a program or advertisement, I feel pressured to choose between performance and composition, and to hide the other side of my identity.
However, my experiences and observances on the perception of the composer-performer have not been exclusively negative. The composer-performer identity has remained interesting and supported by certain people and organizations in my life: for example, Steven Kohn, John
Kennedy of Spoleto Festival USA who invited me to perform my compositions at the festival, and Joel Smirnoff (former president of CIM that implemented the composer-virtuosi theme).
6.4.3 Finding True Fulfillment Through the Composer-Performer Identity
I had always found difficulty in claiming myself to be a composer, even as a child. After discovering my passion to be a composer-performer during my high school studies, I found myself unprepared to embrace this identity in a stressful, music conservatory setting. I feared the judgment of my peers for claiming to both perform and compose when my skills weren’t developed even as a violinist alone. My first moment of affirmation came from my meeting
119 with Kohn, whose encouraging opinion and supportive advice helped me find reason to continue with my pursuit. Having the courage to put my solo cello composition on a CIM composition studio recital also helped disparage many of my fears, and my first performance of my own piece in college during my junior recital solidified my relationship to the composer- performer identity. The moment that I embraced both aspects of my musicianship - composition and performance - equally, I was stronger, happier, and more fulfilled as a musician.
6.4.4 Summary
Many of my experiences as a composer-performer have situated me in scenarios pertaining to specialized composers and performers. Often I would hear the advice to “think like a performer” being offered to specialized composers, and “think like the composer” to specialized performers. These instances led me to wonder: should performers all compose, and should composers have a principal instrument on which they have performance experience?
Because specialized composers often do not have a strong principal instrument, I question if this pertains to why performers are more inclined to perform other performers’ compositions: with the expectation for performing composers to have an innate understanding of reasonable demands when composing a piece, the resulting piece would more likely be more feasible and comfortable to perform for the performer.
Perhaps a motivator for composers to stray away from instrumental training comes with the direction of new music. In an effort to push boundaries and explore new musical territory, modern music often incorporates less idiomatic writing, of which may potentially be harder to achieve through the traditional use of an instrument. Is this another reason performers don’t compose often, as traditional techniques are likely ingrained in their musical knowledge, and
120 composers find having a principal instrument less useful, possibly even a hindrance to creativity?
Another potential motivator might be the current curriculum designs for composition programs and performance programs. Are music schools unintentionally encouraging the separation by requiring too many independent courses in general music studies for the two major fields? It is clear through my conservatory experience that theory and history studies as a performance major do not match those of a composition major, and composition majors are not required to be able to perform at a certain level on any instrument. This may discourage the development of composer-performers.
6.5 Closing Thoughts
Today, I’m proud to be a composer-performer. Since the time that my personal narrative leaves off, I have continued my studies in composition by taking private composition lessons with Professor Norbert Palej and Pierre Jalbert along with occasional lessons with Christos
Hatzis and Gary Kulesha, participated in Professor Hatzis’ orchestration course at the
University of Toronto Faculty of Music as well as the accompanying orchestral readings, performed my compositions in degree recitals as well as part of the Spoleto Festival USA 2017 season and started a concert series at the Canadian Music Centre in Toronto featuring musicians performing their own compositions. I hope that change is in the near future so that the composer-performer will be an obvious attribute of music and the music society. I hope that through more awareness and experience of both sides of the equation, we can understand each other better and, in turn, make truthful, poignant music. I hope that composers who desire to feel the raw energy that comes with performing live to an expectant audience will pursue this
121 experience, and performers who want to share their stories with the intimacy of pen and paper will do so as well.
Chapter Seven: Discussion and Conclusion
7.1 Discussion
7.1.1 Public and Personal Perception of the Identity of the Composer-Performer
Jessie Montgomery and I both shared personal confusion on the subject of confidence in composer-performers. In both of our accounts, we instinctively discerned memories of experiencing self-doubt as well as doubt from others. Jessie considered her unique path of schooling and lack of composition studies as possible reasons behind the moments in her life when she lacked the conviction to claim that she was a composer. Norbert Palej echoed this statement during his interview, considering the fact that “performers who didn’t go through the
‘ringer’ of this composition education might feel insecure about their chops,” while composers
122 who did would look down on those who didn’t.253 I also considered something similar for my own moments of embarrassment, wondering if my shortcomings as a composer were derived from the fact that I didn’t receive a formal composition education. I feared public perception, from other musicians and “real” composers, as Dr. Palej predicted.
Ms. Montgomery and I both brought up memories that involved doubt from professors at Juilliard. While Montgomery unfortunately did not receive an explanation for why she couldn’t take Composing for Non-Majors, I was given specific feedback on my previous lack of schooling in composition being an issue. It seemed that in those situations, the professors may have assumed that our multi-tasking was taking away depth from our understanding and dedication to composition. I also recalled memories of friends in the composition program slipping derogatory comments into conversation every now and then about my legitimacy as a composer, their frequency growing with the number of accomplishments I achieved.
Are these experiences signs of a possible stigma against composer-performers? Palej considers the perceived hierarchies that have developed in music - composers considering themselves as the “ultimate creators”254, rising above performers whose roles are to bring composers’ music to life, and performers distrusting composers who don’t have performance experience first-hand and looking down on them, concert composers perceived as more serious composers than film composers, etc.
I remembered experiencing a discrepancy between the responses from composers and performers as I began to embrace the composer-performer identity: performers supported my endeavors, with some inspired to try their hand at composing themselves, while composers
253 Palej, Interview, January 16, 2018. 254 Ibid.
123 doubted my abilities and the legitimacy of my achievements. Within these perceived hierarchies, perhaps there is no specific stigma towards composer-performers, but those that identify with the label simply experience the prejudice from these hierarchies on both ends.
Composer-performers may also fall under another category of composers that is considered
“less serious” than specialized composers, again because they didn’t go through the “ringer” of composition education and thus ranking low, if there is such a hierarchy.
Perhaps what might be perceived as a stigma is simply a misunderstanding of the composer-performer, being that, because we are not specialized, having our attention directed in different directions hinders us from focusing on either craft, rather than both fields feeding the development of the other. In Montgomery’s and my narratives, we both expressed our belief that one aspect of music-making would inform the other; in fact, Montgomery chose to begin composing for the purpose of becoming a better musician and a better performer.255
With this currently ambiguous label, Mr. Lau also points out the factors that could validate public skepticism: “In a way, I think that the performer-creator at the highest level is a really integrated personality. You’re able to do many things and can use one to feed into another. It’s a really high form of existing as a musician. I think the reason why people might be skeptical of that is that you need twice the amount of skill to do it well.” In line with this statement, perhaps one claiming to identify as a composer-performer needs to be validated by the level of skill they possess in both composing and performing.
However, not all public perception was negative. Jessie found many sources of inspiration and encouragement along her career path, from colleagues and mentors alike. Both
University of Michigan and the Cleveland Institute of Music were actively pursuing to revive
255 Montgomery, Interview, December 13, 2017.
124 the composer-performer; CIM even went as far as to host a competition for composer- performers, represent the school at the Kennedy Center with CIM composer-performers, and bring in only composer-performers as guest artists for a full schoolyear - including Jessie
Montgomery!
7.1.2 Non-Performing Composers or Composer-Performers
During her interview, Ms. Montgomery raised doubt on the subject of non-performing composers, or composers without a principal instrument. I also expressed in my narrative my opinion that composers should all have a principal instrument of some kind. I recalled sitting in composition classes where the focus was on effective communication to the performer: all details performers would be knowledgeable in. Of course, this goes both ways: I remember listening to performance coaches convincing us of the importance of score-study and familiarizing ourselves with the historical background of a piece, details that composers treasure.
While Montgomery and I believe performance skills are crucial to a composer’s composition quality, Palej presents a convincing middle-ground argument, that performance skills can both help and hinder composition process. He points out that performance experience can inform a composer of what is realistic and idiomatic on an instrument, as well as be able to predict how the piece would come alive physically. Hamilton claimed in his chapter written for
Mendelssohn in Performance that Mendelssohn’s compositions were strongly influenced by the piano repertoire he studied and the composition masters that he admired.256 Palej however also argues that having prior performance knowledge can stifle a composer’s creativity and limit
256 Hamilton, “Mendelssohn and the Piano,” 33.
125 them to their level of ability and habits on the instrument, similar to Shostakovich’s view of the piano’s advantages and hindrances. Lau however, presented an argument during our conversation that supports composing without any relationship to any instruments:
There are [big] composers today who are non-performers. Christopher Rouse for example, is all about, ‘I do not perform. I am not a performer and I do not play anything.’ He said that for him, it was a source of strength. He says, ‘Because I don’t play anything, it frees me from thinking in terms of limitations.’ And he basically says he orchestrates well because his orchestrations aren’t bound by any instrumental traditions. He thinks purely in terms of the end, sonic result, and he goes straight for it in his notation in an attempt to capture that, without mediating what he described as being a fundamentally limiting process. It was an interesting thing to say because it seemed to defend the idea that some composers should just be composers because that is what allows their imagination to flourish. It’s not my wheelhouse exactly, but I think that’s a theory.257
Before writing this dissertation, I couldn’t be convinced that a composition career without performance experience could be a viable and informed option. However, along with
Norbert Palej’s and Kevin Lau’s insight on how performance knowledge could potentially obstruct the composition process, I now see this as a very reasonable argument for the non- performing composer.
7.1.3 Overlapping Experiences
Lack of confidence. Both Montgomery and I faced confidence issues as composer- performers, as we both didn’t believe our lack of formal composition education made us valid composers. We found it hard to own up to the fact that, while we were known for playing the violin and majored in violin performance at our respective conservatories, we also compose. We expressed similar doubts that we would be capable of keeping both our skills and careers in performance and composition at a high level: for Jessie, it was lack of time that fueled these
257 Lau, Personal Conversation, December 15, 2017.
126 doubts; I had a general lack of self-confidence in my abilities as a violinist and a composer separately, and felt overwhelmed at the thought of claiming to be a composer-performer.
Balancing the composer-performer identity. In all narratives in this thesis, balance was a subject of concern. When I asked Kevin Lau for his insight on this, he shared that his personal decision was ultimately to focus more on composing than performing: the time commitment towards pursuing both equally was not ideal for him. Jessie Montgomery had expressed similar experiences, having abandoned performance to focus on composition for a brief period of time.
I also mentioned finding the balance difficult; however, both Ms. Montgomery and I expressed a sense of musical fulfillment and happiness when active both as a composer and performer. We all found that in the end, there is no consistent balance for any of us, that the focus will shift from time to time, from one side to the other. Norbert Palej believes that there can’t be any general rules about the balance of a composer-performer; and in perspective, the challenges of maintaining balance resonate in all fields and lifestyles, specialized or multifaceted, music or not.
Loyalty to the composer-performer identity. Jessie Montgomery and I both had periods in our life when we were tempted to let go of one aspect of our composer-performer identity.
While Montgomery tried to specialize in composing, I chose to focus on violin performance, as that was my major, and only blushingly admitted to composing when relevant. During the first years of my conservatory education, my insecurities as both a violinist and composer prevented me from pursuing anything beyond the minimum of what I needed to accomplish in my major studies. However, ultimately, both of us could not deny the fact that we desired having both
127 composition and performance prominently in our lives, and we returned to the composer- performer identity.
The joys and stresses of performing personal compositions. In our personal narratives,
Dr. Palej and I both couldn’t help but mention how stressful we found playing our own compositions to be. Palej called it a “double responsibility”, to deliver both as a convincing performer and with a satisfactory composition.258 We also noted that the stress of the experience is elevated when approaching our compositions as if they were written by someone else.
Norbert pointed out that it was easy to fall into a trap of worrying too much about technique, something I found myself doing when performing my own pieces. I spoke of this exact issue in my narrative while recounting the preparation process of performing my piece for the first time on my junior recital. This memory directly echoes Dr. Palej’s point, that a composer’s insight can hinder their performance.
While we had stressful performance experiences, we were also able to recount memories of concerts that brought us great joy. Palej specifically brought up memories of University of
Toronto’s New Music Festival, during which he conducted his composition, as well as a composition performance during his undergraduate studies that was so energetic, he left his keyboard bloody. He described the feeling of these concerts as “visceral” and as if he were the
“king” of the situation.259 I also recounted performing my violin sonata at the Kennedy Center, feeling a similar sense of fulfillment and pride.
258 Palej, Interview, January 16, 2018. 259 Ibid.
128
Separation of school departments. A subject that will be discussed further in 7.2.2 The
Divide: Why and When?, Montgomery and I both expressed our intuition, as alumni of music conservatories and programs, that a factor contributing to the continuing divide between composers and performers is the music education system, separating composers and performers by degree with different course curriculums.
Motivations. Jessie and I both felt that it was personally necessary to compose and perform in order to feel musically fulfilled. We also found in our experience that one aspect of music making would supplement the other and made us stronger musicians as a whole. I found
Montgomery’s “if you want to do it, do it” mind-set very inspiring, and I feel that this was also my mentality at certain points in my life (for example, when I made the conscious decision to seek opportunities for myself as a composer-performer).
Montgomery and I both experienced some type of rejection at Juilliard as composers -
Jessie from a Composition for Non-Majors course, and my waitlist for their graduate composition program. However, we both made note in our personal narratives of how these similar experiences motivated us to ask difficult questions about the composer-performer identity; it also helped fuel our desire to work harder to succeed on our own, to “find another way”.260
We also found similar inspiration and encouragement to pursue our goals as composer- performers through influential teachers in our life. Jessie Montgomery recalled a conversation with her former teacher from Third Street Music School, who reminded her of the advantages she had as a string player towards her compositions, while I found encouragement from my
260 Montgomery, Interview, December 13, 2017.
129 electronic music teacher at CIM, Prof. Steven Kohn, who believed in my abilities as a composer from the first day that I showed him my works in my freshmen year. These positive voices in our lives helped us face doubts that could have potentially discouraged us from pursuing the composer-performer identity.
Lastly, all of the participants involved stated the same general motivation for why we followed the path of the composer-performer, no matter how stressful or time-consuming it could be: we all voiced our natural desire to both compose and perform because we simply loved composing and performing, without any external forces pushing us to do so, and because doing both fulfilled us in a way in which being a specialized musician could not.
7.1.4 Conflicting Experiences
Role models. While Ms. Montgomery stated that Derek Bermel was her composer- performer role model, and Kevin Lau named Heather Schmidt to be a role model for him, I had actually expressed that during my childhood and into the beginning of my undergraduate studies, I didn’t have role models that I looked up to or could model myself after. This absence of role models may have contributed to my lack of self-esteem and conviction as a composer- performer from an early age.
Prejudice towards the composer-performer. While Jessie Montgomery and I recalled moments of facing prejudice and skepticism as composer-performers during our studies,
Norbert Palej confidently stated that he had not faced any kind of prejudice before. He however suspects that, had he been more involved as a pianist in the specialized pianist scene and competed against specialized pianists, he would have faced this type of stigma as he was seemingly less dedicated to piano with so many composition endeavors.
130
7.2 Answering the Research Question
7.2.1 Definition of the Modern Composer-Performer
What is the definition of a modern composer-performer? A person who simply composes and performs, or are there many other aspects of the identity? Through the interviews and research that contributed to this thesis, I was able to identify several agreed-upon conceptions on the definition of the composer-performer.
An all-inclusive musician of sorts. Montgomery found the composer-performer identity
“funny”,261 particularly because it has become a “new definition” for a specific category of musicians to “choose” when, to her, she felt that the connection was an obvious one to make for musicians who liked to compose and perform, that it was a “natural place to be” as a musician.
She preferred the label of just “musician”, as she felt that there was so much more to her life as a composer-performer than just composing and performing.262 This was something I echoed in my own account, closing my thoughts on the composer-performer by hoping for a place in the music world for the “whole musician”. In our conversation, Kevin Lau expressed this point beautifully: “I think something that sets [the composer-performer] apart is the idea of a creator that is specialized in creating for its own sake, that you can actually do that without anybody else.” This statement resonated with me as I recalled my first acceptance of the label of
“composer-performer” at age 16.
261 Ibid. 262 Ibid.
131
A natural form of musicianship for those who seek it. In Dr. Palej’s interview, he stated that “you either have the bug or you don’t.”263 The composer-performer is a person who composes and performs out of the natural, innate desire that they feel to do so. When recalling our initial aspirations to compose and perform, Ms. Montgomery and I both utilized the word
“natural” in order to explain our subconscious motivation. Perhaps there is not even a skill requirement for how well someone composes and performs in order to identify as a composer- performer – after all, violinists of any level can still claim that they are a violinist - but simply a desire.
A fluctuating balance. While a composer-performer is active in both composing and performing at one time or another, often the two aspects of music-making may fluctuate in priority. While Norbert Palej is now a composition professor and spends the majority of his time composing, he considers himself a composer-performer as he feels performance was and is still a large part of his life. Jessie Montgomery began her undergraduate studies primarily as a violinist, pursuing a performance degree. She then received a Master’s degree in film- composing; at present day, she claims that she is at her most balanced form of composer- performer self, performing with the Catalyst Quartet and frequently composing. Identifying with the “composer-performer” label does not require any specific level of balance on a consistent basis; it is simply whether one composes and performs and resonates with it as a general label at any given time.
7.2.2 The Divide: Why and When?
263 Palej, Interview, January 16, 2018.
132
In this section, some of the potential factors that have been unearthed in the research process of this thesis on the divide between composers and performers and the emergence of the modern composer-performer will be discussed.
Schooling system. From the narratives in this thesis, the most agreed-upon reason for the specialization of composers and performers lies within the music education system. Through the current education system, composition majors and performance majors are divided into two different curriculums. The separation in degrees alone contributes to the chasm between composers and performers; while both fields require different skill sets, historically musicians were educated as both composers and performers at their music schools. For example, during his studies at the Warsaw Conservatory of Music in 1826 - 1829, Chopin was both put through rigorous training in harmony and composition as well as piano instruction, both taught by his principal piano teacher Józef Elsner.264 The present-day Warsaw Conservatory of Music, now known as The Fryderyk Chopin University of Music, instead offers a separate Composition and
Theory of Music Bachelor of Arts degree and an Instrumental Studies Bachelor of Arts degree.265 At the Juilliard School, the course requirements for an undergraduate violin performance major and composition major overlap in Liberal Arts and Music History. While it is obvious that two separate degrees would have two separate Major Studies requirements, what caught my eye was the immediate discrepancy in theory requirements. In their first year, while performance majors are required to take first-level classes (THMUS 111 — Theory I: Diatonic
264 Jim Samson and Kornel Michałowski, “Chopin, Fryderyk Franciszek,” in The New Grove Dictionary of Music and Musicians, 2nd ed., eds. Stanley Sadie and John Tyrrell (London: Macmillan, 2001), 716. 265 “Interdepartmental Pedagogical Course « FCUM,” The Fryderyk Chopin University of Music, accessed January 24, 2018, http://www.chopin.edu.pl/en/departments-of-the-university/choir-conducting-music-education- church-music-rhythmics-and-dance/interdepartmental-pedagogic-course.
133
Harmony and THMUS 211 — Theory II: Principles of Form)266, composition majors are immediately required to take an honor-level theory course (THMUS H211 — Honors Theory II:
Chromatic Harmony and Analysis).267 There are no requirements for performance majors to take any of the honor-level theory courses at any point in their degree. By the third year, performance majors are no longer required to take any ear-training courses, and by fourth year, only a music theory and music history elective is required.268 In contrast, composition majors are required to take ear-training and theory courses through their third and fourth years, all at honor-level.269 Through this comparison of the curriculum, it is evident why the Juilliard composition professors doubted my theory and ear-training skills as a performer; the curriculum at this school does not prepare their performance and composition majors to the same level of proficiency.
Time-management. Jessie Montgomery expressed doubts on several occasions that she would have the time to dedicate to both composing and performing. She felt that even if she was active in both, she wouldn’t be able to achieve the high level that she would want to achieve as a composer and a performer. Dr. Palej believes that good time-management and balance for the composer-performer were easier to achieve historically, when musicians had different expectations for “new music”. He states that in Mozart’s time, for example, the composition formula was more “regulated”270 with set forms like sonata form, binary or ternary forms, on
266 “Violin - Bachelor of Music at The Juilliard School,” The Juilliard School, accessed January 24, 2018, https://www.juilliard.edu/music/instruments/strings/violin/violin-bachelor-music. 267 “Composition - Bachelor of Music at The Juilliard School,” The Juilliard School, accessed January 24, 2018, https://www.juilliard.edu/music/composition/composition-bachelor-music. 268 Violin - Bachelor of Music at The Juilliard School.” 269 “Composition - Bachelor of Music at The Juilliard School.” 270 Palej, Interview, January 16, 2018.
134 which composers could impose their creativity and originality in the details of this already- formulated process. Nowadays, the common practice is to “reinvent the wheel”;271 creating a new formula from scratch with each new composition is the expectation of originality in 21st century music. This requires more time, effort, and creative energy to do.
From a related performance perspective, I personally believe that with the new formula of orchestra auditions and other employment auditions, along with the ever-increasing level of performer’s ability today, it is growing progressively more difficult to divide a musician’s attention and keep up with the demands of both a performance and composition career.
Composer/performer relations. A topic that Norbert Palej and I both brought to light in our narratives, perhaps there is a developing chasm in relations between composers and performers that may play a role in the specialization of composers and performers. Palej outlined the hierarchies he has observed in the music community, with composers feeling a sense of superiority as the “creators” of music, while performers feel resentful towards composers that may ignore writing idiomatically in order to fulfill wild, modern musical ideas.
I also observed, as someone who had found myself on both sides of the equation at different points in my studies, that performers tended to distrust specialized composers and preferred to play pieces written by performers, and composers were at times frustrated with performers that could not understand the concept and character behind a piece, or did not understand the direction of new music in general and therefore would not properly execute performing modern music. Perhaps the development of hierarchies and a strain on relations has motivated a split between composers and performers, indirectly affecting the composer-
271 Ibid.
135 performer as well.
Differing lifestyles of performers and composers. As Palej observed, the lifestyles of performers and composers can be widely contrasting. A concertizing performer will often travel to different concert venues, be actively preparing for upcoming performances in different spaces, and perform on a frequent basis. This life, while exciting, is probably not accurately described as “peaceful”. On the other hand, composers often need peace, solidarity, and time in order to formulate a piece. In the past, much of composition was done as improvisation during live performances; now, as Norbert mentioned, the composition process has become much more of an inventing process from scratch that happens long before the premiere, with every meticulous detail decided, confirmed, and rehearsed before it is put onstage.272Dr. Palej speaks from his own experience, stating that most of the composing process happens when performing mundane tasks: eating dinner, sleeping, or taking a quiet walk.273 With the frenzy of a performance career, it can be hard to find those crucial, peaceful moments that are necessary to the composition process. Perhaps these contrasting lifestyles contributed to the divide.
Historical precedent for the shift. When I asked Kevin about his thoughts on the specialization of modern classical musicians, he presented a perspective on the role of historical precedent for the shift. He observed that many different genres of composing-performing musicians began borrowing from classical music; for example, jazz musicians adapted chord charts from the Baroque era’s figured-bass score tradition. With so many genres taking elements
272 Ibid. 273 Ibid.
136 of classical music and assimilating them into their own, classical composers may have felt the desire to do something more innovative, to abandon what was already being done. Part of this challenge encouraged more isolated classical ideas in music (such as serialism or pointillism), generating more specialized composers in the process. When I asked for him to elaborate on this point, Kevin offered the following thoughts:
I don’t know if it’s so much a modern thing, but because of the split of different styles, different genres and different traditions, Western [classical] music seems to have cornered itself off from certain other traditions. Things exploded in the 20th century, because you had jazz music coming to the forefront and rock and so forth, and [they] took parts that were already part of the classical tradition and kind of ran with them. I don’t know what the causes and effects are because I’m not a historian, but for whatever reason, all of these branches start to go off, and it also accounts for the aesthetic changes in classical music in the first half of the 20th century because they were really separating themselves from the pack. And so the values that started to come out of it became much more focused on certain subcategories, which was art for art’s sake because it had to distinguish itself. Things appealing to a broad audience like melodies and simple rhythms started to go away because other people were doing it, other styles were doing it. So [the classical composers] were thinking, ‘Let’s explore something that these other groups aren’t doing.’274
With Lau’s perspective, another possible aspect contributing to the divide comes to light: the influence of other genres of musicians on the classical composer- performer.
7.2.3 The Drive to Pursue Both Fields
As seen in the previous sub-section 7.2.2 The Divide: Why and When?, there are several factors that discourage the composer-performer identity in modern day. Despite the 21st century shift from the norm of both composing and performing to more specialization in both fields, what drives modern-day composer-performers to pursue artistic excellence in both?
274 Lau, Personal Conversation, December 15, 2017.
137
Natural desire. Montgomery and I both found that, despite giving ourselves the choice to abandon one or another, we ultimately would not be happy without being involved in both composition and performance. For us, it was simply the strong desire, and even need, to do both that made it impossible to specialize in one or the other. I remember during my senior year at
CIM that while I was at once at my most stressed, preparing for both composition and violin auditions for graduate programs, I was also at my happiest, doing both at a vigorous pace. Ms.
Montgomery recalled that when she took time off from performing, she missed doing so and found it ridiculous that she would give up something she had done for 25 years of her life. As mentioned in 7.2.1 Definition of the Modern Composer-Performer, we both used the word
“natural” in terms of our development towards becoming composer-performers. Palej also agreed that both composition and piano performance were just “part of who he was”,275 and that he considered himself a composer-performer for that reason.
Positively-influential people. Jessie also expressed the positive impact her role models,
Derek Bermel as well as jazz musicians, had on her journey to becoming a composer-performer.
During a time of insecurity, she turned to Bermel, who encouraged her through her doubts to continue composing. She also mentioned the positive reinforcement she received from a teacher at Third Street Music School, who pointed out that her strength as a string player provides her with an advantage as a composer. I also recalled the importance CIM professor Steven Kohn’s encouragement had towards my desire and confidence to compose. When I first introduced my pieces to him, I still felt invalid as a composer; with his positive reinforcement, I was able to
275 Ibid.
138 pursue my composition goals with more confidence.
Belief in support and alignment. In order to stay on track as a composer-performer, it is important to believe that the time put in is smartly invested. Montgomery believes that the two passions can and should support and align with one another; Dr. Palej also expressed that the only way a composer-performer’s life can balance is if both aspects inform each other rather than detract. Montgomery recalls being motivated to begin composing for the purpose of improving her musicianship skills as a performer, to have another outlet to work on her musical interpretations. As Dr. Palej had pointed out, there are ways that one side can hinder the other; therefore, making sure that the knowledge of both performance and composition is used simply to improve oneself as a musician - rather than impede - is crucial to the continuous growth of the composer-performer.
Discipline. For Dr. Palej, the key to simultaneously succeeding in composition and performance is discipline, as well as good time-management. In his interview, he suggested that one could budget at least an hour a day to just composing or performing or have periods of divulging in one or the other. He used Mahler’s schedule as a model for effective time- management, conducting during the symphonic season and composing during the off-season.
In the face of adversity. Montgomery, Palej and I all instinctively shared a memory during which we faced a situation of adversity, and in it found motivation to make a stand for the composer-performer identity. Jessie recalled feeling a sense of determination to prove herself as a composer when a Juilliard professor denied her from a Composition for Non-Majors course she had already enrolled in without any explanation. Norbert remembered wanting to
139 show the contrast of his European background to the American background of his peers through a performance of his piece that left the keyboard he played on bloody. My personal motivation led to writing this dissertation, fueled by my experiences as a publicly active composer- performer.
7.3 Implications for Further Study
Case by case. While the insights of these interview participants are both crucial and necessary, the stories told in this thesis cannot be applied to every single composer-performer or composing-performing scenario. As this dissertation reveals, the paths of the composer- performer share certain similarities; however, just like any discipline, how one comes upon their identity and chooses the label is different for everyone. Dr. Palej’s interview revealed that many subjects related to the composer-performer label are conditional, depending on the nature of particular situations and people. Palej also points out that much of how we choose the identity comes from the path we began on. While all of the interview participants of this study began their musical studies in performance, we have all gone on to different variations of the composer-performer career. Perhaps speaking to someone who began as a composer would reveal a different path and different perspectives. While this dissertation draws some conclusions and obvious trends, I do not claim that it is all-inclusive and definitive.
The “when”. While many theories on the divide between composers and performers were offered, it is still inconclusive “when” this rift occurred through interviews alone. Now that the “why” has been further discussed, perhaps more pinpointed, historical research can follow this dissertation to draw ideas and conclusions on “when”.
140
Impact of the modern conservatory education system. Some of the school curriculums analyzed in this study are those of the Cleveland Institute of Music (as of 2010 - 2014), the
Juilliard School (as of 2018), and The Fryderyk Chopin University of Music (as of 2018). These analyzations were done after recognizing a trend in this thesis’ narratives, questioning whether or not school curriculums played a role in separating the career paths of composition and performance. However, with countless music departments and conservatories in the world, more research can be done on music education systems, including ones that do implement a composer-performer education. For example, CIM now offers a composition-performance double-major degree; perhaps studies can be conducted on how students benefit and develop from this type of program. If school curriculums are recognized as a factor of specialization, a further study on music education systems may expose interesting data on modern performers, composers, and composer-performers.
The relevance of musical hierarchies. After analyzing Dr. Palej’s personal narrative, the idea of musical hierarchies has further opened up discussions, not only about the composer- performer, but about modern musicians in general. Have these hierarchies always existed, and how do they affect musicians and the music society as a whole? Perhaps the composer- performer does not face a specific stigma, but the social perceptions of the composer-performer are simply symptoms of the composer-performer being caught in the middle of perceived hierarchies created between the different types of musicians: composers, performers, concert composers, film composers, etc. This idea may invite further research on the social constructs of the musical community as a whole.
141
The advancement of technology and the redefinition of composing and performing.
Jessie Montgomery and Norbert Palej both commented on the advancement of technology in their interviews. Montgomery was encouraged by the fact that modern composers were creating music in an unconventional way and were able to create music without receiving a formal conservatory composition education, supplemented with electronic resources like music production programs, electric keyboards, amplifications, loop pedals, etc. With the success of these emerging artists, Montgomery felt validated in her own unconventional path to becoming a composer.
Palej commented on the fact that with electronics like tablets and computer software, many different kinds of performers are emerging from this electronic movement. For example, a musician can now perform on a laptop rather than a traditional classical instrument. With today’s electronic influence, is there an emergence of different kinds of modern composers and performers that are just as valid as traditional composers and performers? Along this vein of thought, if we were to categorize electronic composers and performers with traditional composers and performers, would we find that composer-performers are more abundant than originally thought? Perhaps more research on modern composer-performers can be done that expands beyond the categories of traditional composition and performance.
Position of modern performers and composers. Though this study focused on the definition of the modern composer-performer, the subject of non-composing performers and non-performing composers came up in several discussions. Along with electronic influences on modern music-making, perhaps composer-performers are not the only types of musicians that need to be redefined in modern-day. Now with changes in technology, lifestyles and other
142 modern developments, perhaps both the term “composer” and “performer” need to be enlarged and explored once more, as Palej suggested. Perhaps the modern “composer-performer” encompasses more musicians than those who compose in the traditional sense on classical instruments and in a classical setting, and perform on classical instruments in classical settings.
Specific personalities geared towards the composer-performer title. Do all composer- performers share similar personality traits? Both Norbert Palej and Kevin Lau suggest that composer-performers tend to be multimodal people in general, even outside of music. Perhaps a sociology study can be conducted to further reveal shared personality traits in composer- performers.
Expanding research on the modern composer-performer beyond the classical genre.
Because my research was delimited to classical composers and performers, it would be beneficial to do in-depth research comparing the role in other musical genres such as jazz and singer-songwriters.
7.4 Impact and Influence of “‘But You’re a Violinist – Why Do You Compose?’”
Participant impact. The participants in my study were both gracious and open, making the research process easy, interesting, and a personally invested project. Some participants expressed their gratitude outwardly, during and after our interviews: for example, Montgomery closed our conversation with, “It’s great to talk to you actually about it, because it’s good to know that you’re out there. You ask the big questions. I think it’s great that you’re asking you know, that you’re putting us out there for yourself and anyone else who might have questions
143 like these.”276 Lau had a similar expression of excitement during our conversation, stating that
“these questions are really important to ask in this modern age of music; I think it will answer a lot about what has changed in music in general, not just for composer-performers, so it’s an important subject to talk about.” After completing our interview, Norbert Palej asked to see the final paper, not to scrutinize, but out of genuine interest in the findings.
Impact on the music community. In order to begin the writing process of “Defining the
Modern Composer-Performer”, I had to actively seek the composer-performers that I knew of.
However, I admittedly didn’t know as many as I would have liked to know; perhaps there was a part of me that didn’t think there were that many to begin with. As I reached out to the composer-performers I knew, more names of interest came up. I began realizing that composer- performers are out there, all throughout the music community, but they needed a voice.
Composer-performers needed a platform where they could present themselves as exactly that:
“composer-performers”.
With this realization came the idea for a composer-performer showcase of sorts: a concert for musicians to perform their own music in public. After putting out a call, I was pleasantly shocked to find that Toronto was filled with composer-performers who were eager to perform! 20+ musicians stepped forward to be added to the program. Though it had to be narrowed down to fourteen for time-restrictions, I was very pleased with the attitudes and eagerness of the performers. There seemed to be a lot of personal investment in the event, motivation to promote it, as well as support for our fellow composer-performers participating in the concert. While consulting with Canadian Music Centre’s Matthew Fava, who agreed to co-
276 Montgomery, Interview, December 13, 2017.
144 host the event, I was told that an event, to his knowledge, has not happened in Toronto in the last fifteen years, at least. Not only were composer-performers stepping up to participate in the event, but some performers who had never composed and composers who had never performed contacted me to ask if they could participate as a first-time composer-performer. As a result, in
February 2018, two musicians made their composer-performer debut. Though I hope that this concert series would have been planned at some point aside from its relationship to this thesis, I hope that this thesis will continue to have an impact on composer-performers, inspire others to compose and perform, and encourage other concerts of this nature in the future.
In addition to the curation of this concert, while I originally had a difficult time getting in touch with a second participant for the interview process, I have since received emails from quite a few musicians who would like to either participate or just talk about their experiences as a composer-performer. I hope that this is an indication that conversation on the composer- performer will develop further and occur more frequently in the near future.
Personal Impact. Before writing this dissertation, I believed the “composer-performer” label was a term that only applied to a small number of musicians in this music community.
While I knew that I identified with it, I often felt that there were few people that I could talk to about my endeavors as one, that perhaps it simply wasn’t typically relevant to mention that I both composed and performed, or that if I did, it would be confusing, possibly pretentious, and maybe even antiquated. Through the process of writing this thesis, I realized I was wrong. There are composer-performers everywhere, proud composer-performers, with some of the same questions that I had as well as answers that I didn’t have. While I used to feel somewhat alone and intrusive in my adventures as a composer-performer, I now feel humbled to be a part of
145 such a vibrant, active community. With this feeling of camaraderie, I have also grown more confident in my composer-performer identity. Perhaps in the beginning, a bit of confusion and insecurity as a composer-performer played a small role in inspiring this thesis topic; now, I feel that I have accepted myself as a composer-performer more than ever. Dr. Palej used the word
“empowered” often: it is now a word I resonate with as a composer-performer.
7.5 Conclusion
The modern composer-performer is a complex entity in the modern music world.
Composer-performers are both the creators and the presenters of music, and despite the difficulty of balancing a life of both disciplines, they continue to do so out of sheer joy and desire to make music. Composer-performers keep a long-standing tradition of music-making alive in this modern society, and in turn find the fullest version of their own self-fulfillment.
While there are divided camps of thought on the composer-performer, the development of this modern identity represents a larger shift from the past to present music society. The questions asked in this thesis reveal more than just changes from the past composer-performer to the modern composer-performer, but also of the changes observed in the modern musician population in general.
The purpose of this dissertation was not only to answer the research questions, but to give composer-performers both a place to share and compare their experiences and a voice in this modern music community. In my experience of writing this dissertation, many composer- performers have emerged and have verbally expressed gratitude in being able to have a platform to speak of their experiences as a composer-performer. I hope that this dissertation will act as a catalyst for more conversation on the composer-performer, its value in the music community,
146 and what identifying as a composer-performer means.
7.6 Postlude
I have had a wonderful time embarking on this research journey. Writing, researching, listening, communicating, and stepping into the shoes of people I greatly admire: it was an honor above everything else. While these words mark the end of this particular thesis, I hope they also mark the beginning of a revolution, the voices of composer-performers heard all around the world.
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Appendix A - Invitation to Participate & Informed Consent Form Dear Research Participant:
As part of a component for the completion of my Doctoral dissertation, “Defining the Modern Composer- Performer”, I am conducting a qualitative research study.
The purpose of this study is twofold: to collect narrative data to address the lack of research on the phenomenon of modern-day composer-performers, as well as discuss the possible catalysts for change in the musician’s identity that have created a separation between “composing” and “performing”, and have, in turn, developed the modern-day identity of “composer-performer”. This study will explore insights on the general motivations and trends in
156 professional development of a composer-performer, equally as a performer and composer. Your participation in this study will provide a deep, informed account to the scholarly community of the yet-to-be-discussed composer- performer of the 21st century.
Your participation in this research will involve one interview up to an hour long, which will be transcribed and audio-recorded. I would be grateful if you would allow me to conduct this interview with you at a time and place that is most convenient for you between November 2017 - January 2018. The contents of the interview will be used for my dissertation; my findings may also be presented at conference presentations. Your identity will not remain anonymous as your personal accounts and verification of your accomplishments and experiences are important to the authenticity of the research.
All identifiable electronic information outside of a secure server environment would be encrypted, consistent with UT’s data security and encryption standards available at: http://www.research.utoronto.ca/wp-content/uploads/documents/2013/05/datasecurity1.pdf
Your participation is entirely voluntary, and you may choose to change your mind about participating at any time. Should you choose to withdraw even after consenting to participate, there are no consequences and all data will be destroyed. You may also choose to decline to answer any questions during the interview. All audio-recordings will be destroyed five years after the publication of the dissertation, and all data has been collected. There are no known risks to participation, and I will share a copy of the transcript with you shortly after the interview to ensure accuracy. You may also request a copy of the dissertation once it is published.
Should you have any questions about your rights as a research participant, you can contact the following: University of Toronto Office of Research Ethics: [email protected], 416-946-3273 Alice Hong, researcher: [email protected], 647-571-4531 Lori Dolloff, supervisor: [email protected]
Should you agree to participate in this research study, please read the following and sign below.
I understand that the information I provide may be quoted by Alice Hong in academic presentations and/or publications, and that my identity will not remain anonymous. I understand I am free to withdraw from this study at any time.
I hereby agree to participate and to allow information I provide to be used in this research study.
Printed Name Signature Date I would like to receive a copy of the completed study. I consent to the audiotaping of this interview. Appendix B - Interview Guideline Alice Hong, “Defining the Modern Composer-Performer”
1. You are a self-identified “composer-performer”. From your perspective, what is the definition of a composer-performer and how do you identify with it? a. Was there a specific moment in your career when you decided you wanted to be a composer-performer? b. What were some defining moments in your career as a composer-performer? What moments have led you further down this path?
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c. Are there any characteristics, activities, and attributes you find are specific to being a composer-performer? d. What were some of your personal, internal motivations to be a composer-performer? External? e. In your opinion, is it vital as a musician to both compose and perform, or can you do one or the other and be equally musically fulfilled? f. Is there one aspect, either composing or performing, that you lean towards more than the other?
2. Can you describe your compositional style? a. Do you think composing has influenced you as a performer? b. Do you think being fluent as a performer influences how you write, both musically and notationally?
3. Can you share a little bit about an experience you had performing your own work? How did the preparation and performance differ from preparing and performing someone else’s work? Were there any negative or positive surprises?
4. What kind of expectations do you face as a composer-performer? a. Are these expectations different from the expectations you face as a performer? Composer?
5. In current times, we have cultivated the identity of “composer-performer”. However, in the past, this identity wasn’t necessary to define because most musicians were expected to both compose and perform. Do you have any ideas on why the identity of the musician has changed so that we now have to define the community of people who still do both? a. Do you feel that there has been any change in the job market as a performer? Composer? b. Have you noticed any changes in relations between composers and performers between present day and past? c. What is your view of the direction of new music? d. During your schooling, have you taken both composition and performance classes? If so, did you find any key differences between the two educations?
6. Have you ever encountered a stigma against composer-performers because of the fact the claim that composer-performers specialize in two fields rather than focused on one? a. As a composer-performer, are there any particular responses and/or experiences that were positive towards your identity or your work? Negative? b. As a performer, have you ever had an experience or observed fellow performers distrusting composers due to their lack of awareness for the demands on the performers (i.e. wrong notation, unidiomatically-written passages, out-of-range notes, missing instructions) c. As a performer, have you ever found that you or fellow performers trust music written by composer-performers for the above reason? d. Do you think that performers are less open-minded these days to the direction
158 new music is going, hence contributing to the chasm between composers and performers? e. Do you or others you know feel a sense of novelty in playing a performer’s composition rather than a composer’s composition? f. As a composer-performer, have you felt any prejudice from other composers for being specialized in both?
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