“Sissies” and “Tomboys”

1 Volume VII Number 3 January 1979 ISSN:0091-3995 Sex Information and Education Council of the U.S.

“SISSIES” AND “TOMBOYS”

Richard Green, MD Professor, Departments of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science, and Psychology, State University of New York, Stony Brook, New York

It is regrettable that the labels “sissy” and “tomboy” exist, atypical adults-and sexually atypical adult males experience that distinctions between typical and atypical gender-role more conflict in consequence of society’s double standard behavior are made, and especially that atypical children are vis-Bvis male homosexuality and lesbianism. In Anita Bryant’s penalized. crusade against homosexuality her tendency to ignore les- “Sissy” and “tomboy”: what a mismatch of labels. bianism is reminiscent of the (perhaps) apocryphal account- Commonly used and commonly linked, they mean such ing of Queen Victoria’s refusal to endorse a Parliamentary act different things. The dictionary itself documents the distinc- forbidding sexual contact between females: “Women do not tion: “tomboy’‘-a romping, boisterous, boyish young girl; do such things!” “sissy’‘-an effeminate boy or man, a timid or cowardly There is a growing body of research information linking person. Thus for a boy to be called “sissy” can be devastat- childhood cross-gender nonerotic behaviors with adolescent ing. It pierces a boy’s self-image at its most vulnerable point. and adult sexuality. The pertinent data are impressive for By contrast, “tomboy” is said with approving tones, and does males and increasingly provocative for females. In one study, not detract from a girl’s sense of worth. two-thirds of adult male homosexuals reported a “girl-like While much is read, and more is said, about a “unisex” syndrome” during boyhood (Saghir & Robins, 1973). This was tidal wave covering the country, barely a ripple has touched characterized by a preference for girls as playmates, avoid- the early childhood and adolescent population. The boy ance of rough-and-tumble play and sports, and being called whose behavior patterns do not meet the peer group “sissy.” Another study (Whitam, 1977) found that about half “macho” criteria is still called “sissy.” The dreaded, label of adult male homosexuals recalled a childhood preference for produces parental anxiety and a troubled child. Here mem- girls as playmates, an interest in doll play, and an avoidance bers of the helping professions can be called on to determine of rough-and-tumble play. Less than 1% of the heterosexual whether the behavior behind the term is the cause of this males recalled such behaviors. What about “tomboys”? One current conflict and if it bears significance for future concern. investigation (Saghir & Robins, 1973) states that two-thirds of By contrast, the professional is rarely confronted by a parent lesbians reported having been “tomboys” in grade school or child troubled over “tomboyism.” compared to less than one-fifth of heterosexual women. The fundamental caveat for a physician in diagnosing Higher rates of tomboyism for lesbians are also reported by significant childhood cross-gender behavior is similar to that Kaya et al. (1967). in other medical areas: do not overdiagnose; do not under- The overlap here must be stressed. Clearly, all male diagnose. The probability statement “most children will out- children whose behavior is gender atypical, and who may be grow it” is true. It may be sage medical advice to prescribe called “sissy,” are not pretranssexual or prehomosexual. “two (metaphorical) aspirins, and if it still hurts, call me in the Obviously, neither are the “tomboy” female children. And it morning,” but when this advice is universally applied, is certain that a more or less steady proportion of convention- everyone can lose-physician, patient, and parents alike, for ally “masculine” boys and “feminine” girls will ultimately the exceptions that exist beyond “most children” deserve find their erotic and romantic needs better met by someone recognition and attention. I hope to convey here how to of their same sex. maximize the chances of giving appropriate reassurance and Before proceeding with differential diagnosis, I want to how to recognize when the child’s behavior warrants more stress that this article is not directed at “prevention” of extensive evaluation. homosexuality. Not only does the writer not know how to do Clearly, more parents are concerned about what they see it, but it is also certainly debatable as to whether one can or as “feminine” behavior in sons than about “masculine” should do it. The article is specifically directed at providing behavior in daughters. And rightly so if they are at all some guidelines for members of the helping professions to concerned over current and future conflict. Quite aside from follow in reducing concerns of parents who fear their child the trauma of peer-group stigmatization, “feminine” boys (usually male) is not developing “normally,” and, in the rarer definitely have a higher probability of maturing into sexually instances in which a child is significantly distressed over his or her gender, at reducing that conflict. their sons, or did the sons find the interests and perhaps It is often asked whether there are diagnostic psycholog- demands of their fathers on so different a wavelength as to ical tests for significant childhood cross-gender behavior. preclude communication? Probably no single test is adequate. While some discriminate The sex of the peer group appears important. When boys girls from boys, the clinician is on safer ground obtaining a play only with girls because “boys play too rough,” parents careful listing of the preferred sex-typed activities from the can try to find companions who do not play rough. Also, both parents and by talking with the child. boys and girls should have a mixed-sex peer group. Since The following areas provide clues for differential diag- there are many vital social skills to be learned from interac- nosis: tion with both males and females, the child of neither sex Sex-Identity Statements: The boy may say “I want to be a should be deprived of the opportunity to mix freely with both girl ,” or “I am a girl.” These are not typical statements of sexes. young boys, especially if repeated. They call for further How does one make referral in a professional field in inquiry. Most “tomboy” girls, however, do not say they want which most child psychiatrists and psychologists have had to be male. The vast majority are content being female, but relatively limited experience? A few university departments may prefer boy-type activities because they permit more of psychiatry have clinicians with a background in evaluating freedom or are more highly valued by other children. But children with possible sexual-identity conflict. They include some “tomboys” do say they want to be male, and women the State University of New York at Stony Brook, Columbia desiring hormonal and surgical transformation into men University, the University of California at Los Angeles, the (transsexuals) recall “always” having wanted to be male. University of Michigan, and Johns Hopkins University. However, we do not know about those with comparable What if the professional suspects significant sexual- earlier desires who are now comfortably female. identity conflict and is not near a referral site? First, there are Toy Preference: While some attempts have been made to child therapists who are becoming increasingly familiar with blur sex-role lines in toy selection, significant sex-typed the growing body of literature in this area, and a few phone preferences remain. Playing with “Barbie” or a truck still calls may locate an appropriate referral. Second, depending serves to differentiate girls from boys. For boys whose overall on time availability, the physician may also find it practical to behavior is distinctly culturally feminine, “Barbie” may be the undertake an initial treatment program. favorite toy. In some cases, a few basic modifications in the child’s Age of the Child: This is of paramount importance. environment can be beneficial. Eliminate the demands on the Comparably atypical behaviors at age 8 signify more than at boy for stereotypically boyish behaviors, such as athletics, age 4. First, they have withstood the test of time. Second, the which are outside his interests or abilities. Promote a more child may have passed over critical developmental draw- mixed peer group, one which includes males interested in bridges which may be no longer be recrossed. other masculine activities besides competitive sports. Parents Caveat: Rough-and-tumble play in itself does not charac- Continued on page 75 terize gender. Here is the most vulnerable of the “traditional” definitions of “masculine” and “feminine” behavior. Too many intellectually lively, esthetic boys have suffered because the modal cultural ethic prescribed roughhouse as “normal” behavior. Tomboy girls have been more fortunate. How can we maximize the possibility of careful distinc- tion between those children (particularly males) whose be- Volume VII, Number 3 January 1979 haviors not only bring current distress but portend future conflict? We carefully listen to what parents mean by “feminine,” “sissy, ” or “unmasculine” behavior. We distin- The S/ECUS Report is published bimonthly. Subscriptions guish those boys whose behavior does not fit the cultural are so!d on a volume basis only, with volumes beginning in September. stereotype, yet who are nevertheless comfortable in being Subscription rates: Individual, $10.00 for one year; Canadian boys, from those who want to be girls. Boys who more than and foreign, f5. Institutional, $20.00; Canadian and foreign, occasionally cross-dress, regularly role-play as females, draw f9. Single copies of any issue, $1.50. pictures replete with females and devoid of males, are Queries about subscriptions and delivery should be sent to speaking to us in their age-appropriate language. And when Human Sciences Press, 72 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10011 they say “I wish I were a girl,” the message is trumpeted. (overseas office: 3 Henrietta Street, London, England WC2E 8LU). Editorial queries should be sent to SIECUS at the Fathers may “give up” on boys who are decidedly address below. “feminine” in behavior or looks, or those who merely do not S/ECUS Report is available on microfilm from University fit the conventional demands of boyhood. Such fathers need Microfilms, 300 North Zeeb Road, Ann Arbor, Ml 48106. noncritical professional input regarding temperamental dif- Editor-Mary S. Calderone, M.D. ferences between boys in general, and about the special Associate Editor-Frederick E. Bidgood, M.A. needs of their sons. There are father-son activities that are Copyright @ 1979 by The Sex Information and Education both in tune with the interests of the son and enjoyable to the Council of the U.S., Inc., 84 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY father. Proven helpful are group projects oriented toward 10011. handicrafts, cooking, and camping out, and away from com- Library of Congress catalog card number 72-627361 petitive sports. Leave Little League to the kid down the block. No part of the S/ECUS Report may be reproduced in any form Father-son alienation is repeatedly evident in autobiog- without written permission from the SIECUS Publications raphies of adult males with sexual-identity conflict. But which Office. was the chicken and which the egg? Did the fathers spurn

2 SIECUS Report, January 1979 ISPEAKING OUT

The Challenge Facing SIECUS

Michael A. Carrera, EdD Professor, Community Health Education Program, School of Health Sciences, Hunter College of the City of New York; Chairperson, S/ECUS Board of Directors

In sexual health care the principal challenge facing profes- whole is effectively brought about, so that every person can sionals today is the application of the accumulated informa- freely take what is appropriate to any and all life circum- tion, insights, and expertise to the interests, needs, and stances or age groups, this will truly signal the beginning of concerns of the masses of people throughout the United the coming of age of sexual health care as a centuries-awaited States, and indeed the entire world. Although professional discipline for the people served by all health and caring preparation must, and will, continue in education, counsel- professionals. ing, and therapy, it is critical that serious, concerted efforts Since 1964, SIECUS has been at the cutting edge of a be made at this time to facilitate the transmission of what we circumference-widening movement that has been imple- know about sexuality to the people who traditionally are not menting SIECUS’s primary goal of “establishing human sexu- given access to such information in any primary or systematic ality as a health entity.” Now, in addition to our usual work, way. we will be moving in a new direction representing a commu- This means that we must first identify the extent to which nity service focus. Plans and programs already initiated re- people from all classes and groups understand the meaning flect this new initiative. During the past year, SIECUS; in of sexuality in their lives, so that our teaching methods can be cooperation with the Department of Health Education of New developed in a manner that fits their needs and aspirations, York University, has been engaged in an exciting project with and enables them to fulfill their individual and unique sexual the Human Resources Administration of New York City (HRA) potentials. A further challenge is to achieve this within the in an effort to develop and implement a training program in variety of frameworks of their cultural and religious beliefs. human sexuality for the field workers who interact with the It is no longer enough to maintain the concentric-circular more than 28,000 children served yearly by HRA. Programs development of the human sexuality movement. It was have already been under way with top-level administrators, absolutely necessary at the beginning for health workers to middle-management personnel, and direct-contact staff (so- teach and train each other within the circumference of their cial workers, child-care workers, houseparents, foster care own knowledge and techniques. But we have more than and institutional staff members who work with lower echelon passed the time for this ever-broadening approach, and must personnel such as maintenance people, etc.). This initial now go beyond ourselves to our constituencies, and provide staff-focused program will be followed by a direct, sex people with evolving opportunities to reflect and learn about education program which will be carefully monitored and themselves as sexual beings, just as we have been enabled to evaluated. do in our own lives. In addition, SIECUS, in partnership with Community Sex In developing strategies, SIECUS has chosen the simplest Information, Inc., and NYU, plans to develop and implement way to conceptualize what must be offered to people a grass-roots, community FX information and education everywhere: once again to go back to the World Health demonstration center in the New York area. This challenging Organization definition of sexual health, and to design the project will focus on providing young people, parents, the necessary tactics by which our accumulated wisdom concern- disabled, their teachers, and others, with the unique oppor- ing the various aspects of this definition might be applied to tunity to receive free, carefully prepared information and or by each person in his or her own life situation: educational programs in a simple but relaxed and comfortable environment. Such a unique community model is in the Sexual health is the integration of the somatic, emo- early planning stage, and future issues of the S/ECUS Report tional, intellectual, and social aspects of sexual being, will, from time to time, reflect the progress of this and other in ways that are positively enriching and that enhance sexual health initiatives to be undertaken by SIECUS. personality, communication, and love. Every person has a right to receive sexual information and to consider accepting sexual relationships for plea- Reference sure as well as for procreation. (WHO, 1975, p. 23) World Health Organization. Education and treatment in human sexuality: The training of health professionals, Tech. Rep. Series If this needed and long-awaited easy availability of sexual 572. Geneva, Switzerland: Author, 1975. (Available from Q health care information and education for the population as a Corporation, 49 Sheridan Avenue, Albany, NY 12210.)

SIECUS Report, January 1979 3 /WHERE THE ACTION IS )

Numerous Benefits Expected From SIECUS- NYU Affiliation

Marian V. Hamburg, EdD Chairperson, Department of Health Education, New York University

The Department of Health Education at New York University should give both enterprises even more stature. and SIECUS entered into a special affiliation agreement on SIECUS and the NYU Human Sexuality Program are old September 22, 1978. The agreement was signed by Dean and good friends, having had a warm and mutually suppor- Daniel E. Griffiths of NYU’s School of Education, Nursing, tive relationship for many years. The origins of the NYU and Arts Professions, and by Dr. Mary S. Calderone, presi- program go back to 1967 when the Department of Health dent of SIECUS, on the occasion of the SIECUS open house in Education received a grant from the U.S. Office of Education its new quarters. Starting on a two-year trial basis, the new to develop the “Experienced Teacher Fellowship Program in arrangement is expected to enable both organizations to Sex Education.” Unique for its time, and possibly even for collaborate on projects that will greatly expand their pro- today, this training effort involved the participation of 20 grams. Such projects are likely to include research, the elementary schoolteachers recruited from throughout the development of training programs, sponsorship of national United States for a year-long master’s degree program in sex and international conferences and seminars, the sharing of education. In addition to providing a knowledge base in this personnel in both formal and informal teaching, and jointly previously neglected field, the training program provided sponsored publications. opportunities to examine traditions, beliefs, and attitudes A successful nurturing of the new relationship should which affect education about sexuality. Dr. Thomas McGinnis add strength to both organizations and to the human sexual- was the project’s family life education specialist. ity field. Although each party to the affiliation already has a SIECUS was a primary source of advice and consultation claim to preeminence-SIECUS as the only national voluntary for that training program, with Mary Calderone and Deryck organization in its field and the NYU Human Sexuality Pro- Calderwood contributing substantially to its concept and gram as the first master’s and doctoral degree curricula for design and strongly advocating its experiential thrust. In professional preparation in sex education-a united effort addition, many SfECUS board members served as lecturers and discussion leaders. That first NYU training effort in human sexuality became the subject of controversy midway through the year. As with all such programs, critics of sex education launched an attack which was widely publicized. As a result, not many of the participating teachers were permitted to put their new sexuality knowledge and teaching skills into practice on their return home. Despite this, the Department of Health Education by 1970 had received the approval of the university and of the New York State Education Department for the master’s degree specialization in human sexuality. It was first called “Human Sexuality, Marriage, and Family Life Education”- and then later shortened to “Human Sexuality.” A sampling of titles of the human sexuality courses currently being offered includes Sexuality and Alcohol, Sexu- ality and Disability, Development of Human Awareness, and Alternate Lifestyles. The program this academic year has 39 master’s and 36 doctoral candidates. In addition to teaching (primarily at the college level), the program’s graduates work in community-service organizations, hospitals, and other health-care facilities. Dr. Mary S. Calderone and Dean Daniel E. Griffiths affix their signatures to the SIECUS-NYU affiliation agreement on September A special feature of the Human Sexuality Program, as 22,1978. Photo by Mark Schoen well as of other programs of the Department of Health

4 SIECUS Report, January 1979 Education, is the opportunity for learning experiences in foreign countries. In the summer of 1978, for example, Professor Deryck Calderwood, who has headed NYU’s Human Sexuality Program for seven years, led a group of graduate students to Nairobi, Kenya, for four weeks of study there. The NYU faculty was supplemented by African faculty, and the curriculum included numerous field visits for firsthand observation of local programs. Professor Calder- wood will be leading a similar trip in the summer of 1979 to Sweden, making it the third visit to that country by faculty and students representing NYU’s Human Sexuality Program. (See announcement on SIECUS participation, p. 5.) The study of human sexuality abroad has also been the focus of NYU seminars in Denmark and Japan. Having grown from a need to help teachers become comfortable and competent in dealing with the subject of human sexuality, the NYU program aims primarily to prepare professional personnel for school and community leadership roles in sex education. Shown, left to right, at the reception following the signing ceremony The SIECUS-NYU affiliation formalizes a cooperative are Barbara Whitney, SIECUS Executive Officer; Deryck Calderwood, relationship that has been uninterrupted since SJECUS began Director of NYU’s Human Sexuality Program and SIECUS Board of in 1964. Under the new agreement, two places on the SIECUS Directors member; Dr. Calderone; Marion V. Hamburg, Chairper- national board of directors are reserved for NYU faculty; NYU son of NYU’s Department of Health Education; and Dean Griffiths. Photo by Mark Schoen departmental meetings, moreover, will be attended routinely by SIECUS representatives. Such mutual representation and sharing of views should inevitably expand the horizons of both organizations. Immediate plans include a jointly sponsored conference to be held at the university. -U KNOW THAT,? Sharing will also occur on other levels. The unique SIECUS library of over 1500 volumes of current literature on human sexuality will be housed and staffed in the quarters of NYU’s Department of Health Education. The availability of SIECUS Elects 1979 Board this invaluable resource will be of great importance to NYU faculty and students, and all other qualified researchers. At the SIECUS Annual Meeting held in New York City on With much interest and pleasure, moreover, the health September 23, 1978, Michael Carrera, EdD, was elected education faculty and university administration are anticipat- Chairperson of the Board of Directors. New members joining ing the availability of Dr. Mary Calderone as a major consul- the board are: Diane Brashear, MSW, PhD; Lorna Brown, tant and guest lecturer. Her wealth of knowledge and experi- MA; Frank Caparulo, MS; Ron Daniel, PhD; William H. ence will add substance and luster to the NYU program. In Genne, MA, BD; Richard Green, MD; Jane Johnson, MSW; that connection, the ink on the affiliation agreement was Albert Klassen, MA; Roger Mellott, MA; James B. Nelson, scarcely dry when Dr. Calderone was invited by Dean Grif- PhD; Lorna Sarrel, MSW; Raul Schiavi, MD; and Ann Wel- fiths to give the keynote address, known as the Weckstein bourne, RN, PhD. (For a complete listing of the 1979 Board of Lecture, on Alumni Day of the School of Education, Health, Directors, see page 16.) Nursing, and Arts Professions on March 10, 1979. It is the Dr. Mary S. Calderone, President, expressed SIECUS’s expectation of the Department of Health Education, in addi- appreciation for the dedicated work done by the members of tion, that from time to time some of the prestigious SIECUS the board who have completed their terms of office. They board members will become involved in the NYU Human are: Pauline M. Carlyon, MS, MPH; Haskell R. Coplin, PhD; Sexuality Program as consultants and guest lecturers. Harold I. Lief, MD; Philip M. Sarrel, MD; Leon Smith, EdD; Another special resource that will be shared is the body and Frank E. Taylor, all of whom will serve on the 1979 SIECUS of graduate students enrolled in the NYU Human Sexuality Advisory Panel. Program. Serving as interns for substantial periods of time, graduate students are able to help their sponsoring organizations engage in activities that are often otherwise beyond reach, performing, for example, as researchers, evaluators, SIECUS- NYU Professional Colloquium conference organizers, and program developers. The aforementioned benefits are only the obvious posi- SIECUS is making special arrangements with New York Uni- tive results expected from the formalized affiliation. While versity’s Summer International Seminar in Human Sexuality the expected beneficial impact on the fields of human sexual- in Sweden for a postgraduate learning experience during July ity and health education is difficult to predict in specific 1979 which will focus on basic issues and concepts in human terms, there is little doubt that the new sharing arrangement sexuality from intercultural points of view. For more informa- will stimulate thought and action that might otherwise not tion on this study program in Sweden, write to Barbara take place. How much does happen, in the final analysis, Whitney, Executive Officer, SIECUS, 84 Fifth Avenue, New depends on what we do together to make it happen! York, NY 10011.

SIECUS Report, January 1979 5 BOOK REVIEWS

Breaking the Sex-Role Barrier. Robert reader, the extent to which we are all explores the development of concepts H. Loeb, Jr. In consultation with Vidal prone to sexist role typing. The first about maleness. Although the feminist 5. Clay, PhD. New York: Franklin chapter asks important questions about movement has been responsible for Watts, Inc., 1977 (108 pp.; $6.90). the obligations and pleasures of being breaking many sex-role barriers for male or female. Loeb and Clay’s goal of women, there has not been a compa- Reviewed by Anne H. Berkman, MA, liberation is expressed thus: “We hope rable awareness of the masculine Sex Counselor and Volunteer, Com- that knowing about your human poten- “trap.” As the author points out, “In munity Sex Information, Inc., New York tial will give you enough faith in your- our culture the mask of tearlessness City. self to confront life with affirmation.” and fearlessness with which males dis- Drawing on the work of Diane Chapter Two, “What Caused You to guise themselves has no survival value. Gersoni-Stavn, Theodore Lidz, John Be a Boy or Girl?” covers the basic Instead, it is apt to blunt a man’s sen- Money and Anke A. Ehrhardt, Verne biology and physiology of prenatal de- sitivity, his sense of compassion, and and Bonnie Bullough, and James velopment and discusses the meaning can be the cause of emotional prob- McCary, among others, this book in- of gender identity. The next chapter lems .I’ terprets the ideas of some of the finest examines the primary factors that mold “Your Right to be You” is the final writers and researchers in the field of the infant into a certain kind of boy or chapter. Having by now presumably sexual development. Classic studies of girl, and includes well-reported studies learned some of the origins of sexist gender identity, concepts of genetic describing the influence of parents and hang-ups, the reader is asked to put theory and the psychology of sex dif- school on gender role definition. this new awareness to positive use. For ferences, the history of attitudes to- Chapter Four, on the role of women, example, teenagers can often reduce ward men and women, and the basics offers a historical overview of what it conflict with adults by understanding of human sexuality are explained at a has meant to be female through the the restrictions that have handicapped high school reading level. ages. The comments by teenagers in- their parents and other authority fig- This book’s purpose is to guide the eluded in this section appear to have ures. Sexual attitudes toward the dou- reader through a structured explora- been selected for their stereotyped ble standard, premarital sex, heter- tion of the forces that program male points of view, but not all young osexuality, love and lovers, and mar- and female behavior, The biological women today feel so heavily burdened riage are explored. Homosexuality as evidence and the parental and societal by tradition. For example, the results of a sexual preference is included in the influences that create sex differences a survey of 1,543 New York teenagers context of “the right to be you,” are examined systematically in clear published early in 1978 in the New York and, in regard to its incidence and and concise language. Robert H. Loeb Times reveal changing goals and val- range, is particularly well handled. is a writer who is interested in the ues. The 667 girls in the Times poll The last chapter has its strong and sociological problems of young peo- listed in first place “getting a job I weak points. The author states very ple. Vidal S. Clay is a woman teacher as enjoy” while “getting married” ranked clearly that the decision to have inter- well as a marriage and family therapist. in 14th place. Unfortunately, the teen- course carries a responsibility for both Together they have created a fast- agers who were interviewed specifi- partners to consider birth control. He is moving, informative book based on the tally for the book have not been iden- less convincing when writing about the belief “that both sexes need liberation tified as to their backgrounds. meaning of love and the importance of from the myths and misconceptions of Continuing in a probing, con- sharing in an intimate relationship. A what it means to have been born male sciousness-raising style, the chap- major area where polarized sex roles or female. Both sexes need to discover ter concerning the roles of men starts inhibit communication is within a sex- a new awareness.” with self-test questions such as “Be- ual relationship. Loeb and Clay missed Breaking the Sex-Role Barrier is a cause fatherhood is far less demanding the opportunity to help young adults small book containing six chapters, than motherhood, I (as a male) have learn the art of communicating with a each beginning with a self-test, a more freedom to choose a fulfilling sexual partner. It would have been rel- thought-provoking device. These tests career. True, false, or questionable?” evant to make the connection between reveal, even to the sophisticated This is an interesting chapter which liberation from sexist stereotypes and

Audience Level Indicators: C-Children (elementary grades), ET-Early teens (junior high), LT-Late teens (senior high), A-College, general adult public, P-Parents, PR-Professionals.

6 SIECUS Report, January 1979 the growth and development of true Right from the Start: A Guide to Non- believe parents are entitled to an added intimacy. sexist Child Rearing. Selma Greenberg. profit from the childrearing experience Breaking the Sex-Role Barrier is a Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, . . . a happy ending.” well-written book and a welcome addi- 1978 (242 pp.; $8.95). The author fleshes out this schema tion to the literature on teenage sexual- with chapters on redefining mother- Reviewed by lane M. Quinn, ACSW, ity. Source notes at the end of each hood, fatherhood, and family power Supervisory Clinical Social Worker, chapter provide a bibliography for relationships; on sharing housework Washington, D.C., Department of further reading. Although addressed to among family members, and separating Human Resources. teenagers, adults who are interested in housework from child-care respon- examining their sex roles, and profes- Sex-role socialization, like sex educa- sibilities; and on examining current sionals working with young people, tion, begins at birth. Studies reveal that myths and socialization practices which should find this book a valuable re- boys and girls are treated differently, result from these myths in light of the source. LT, P, PR spoken to differently, taught different limiting effects they can have on chil- skills, encouraged to explore their en- dren and parents. vironments differently and to use dif- It is in the analysis of this last point ferent sets of muscles-so that by age that Dr. Greenberg’s ideas are most three, they perceive their options and compelling and are most likely to be futures differently. influential. Through citation of studies In her book Right from the Start, and actual observations of children, the X: A Fabulous Child’s Story. Lois Selma Greenberg analyzes this pro- author makes a good case for the need Gould. Illustrated by Jacqueline cess, pointing out what is wrong with it to change present-day sex-role so- Chwast. Houston, Tex.: Daughters Pub- and explaining what can be done about cialization practices by demonstrating lishing Co., Inc., 1978 (unpaged; $7.50). it. Although her book is addressed to how differential treatment of boys Reviewed by Anne Backman, MA, parents, its perspective, information, and girls hinders the development of SIECUS Publications Officer. and advice would be useful to teachers, both sexes. Once upon a time a book named X was students, sex educators, child-care Another strength of the book lies in born. This book was subnamed “A workers, and social welfare policy the critical examination of the assump- Fabulous Child’s Story” so that nobody makers. tions upon which many current child- could tell whether it was a fabulous The author brings three sets of cre- rearing theories are based. Readers are story for children or a story about a dentials to the writing of this new asked to consider possible flaws and fabulous child. Its authors could tell, of work: those of educator, mother, and sexist implications of such time- course, but they couldn’t tell anybody feminist. Dr. Greenberg is professor of honored child development concepts else. You see, it was all part of a very education at Hofstra University and has as sibling rivalry, the Oedipal conflict, important xperiment. done pioneering work on the subject penis envy, adolescent rebellion, the All paraphrasing aside, this brief of nonsexist education for teachers and one-to-one (mother-child) relation- blockbusting story brings its readers children. As a mother who has raised ship, and sexual identification. In de- face to face with the hallowed institu- three children, she is able to share lineating “what is” from “what must tion of gender identity. A child named practical advice and relevant vignettes be,” the author strikes a hopeful note “X” is brought up with only X and its from her own family life and to recount and points to ways that parents can parents (and, of necessity, the Secret her gradual awakening-and that of her help children of either sex build on Scientific Xperiment xperts) knowing husband and children-to the limita- their own particular strength. whether it is a boy or a girl. One can tions which sexist childrearing patterns Dr. Greenberg’s writing style is in- imagine the problems that arise. “What appear to impose on all family mem- formal, nontechnical, and at times is it?” “It’s an X.” Whispers spread. bers. But, according to Dr. Green- chatty. References to literature, “There must be something wrong with berg, it is the third perspective, that psychology, psychiatry, child de- it!” And where to buy its clothes, toys, of feminism, which truly separates her velopment and education theory etc. Boys’ department? Girls’ depart- book from the countless other guides abound, but are not offered in a pre- ment? What games does it play? With to childrearing now on the market. tentious or self-conscious way. Many boys or with girls? Which school bath- In the first and introductory chapter, readers, however, may well be put off room to use? (The principal’s, of Dr. Greenberg spells out three general by the author’s extensive use of excla- course!) And so on. themes which underlie her philosophy mation points to convey emotion and Since the authors believe in the good of childrearing and which serve as an by her repeated insistence that her fairy of adaptability, the xperiment outline for the rest of the book. “The book is more useful than the well- ends happily ever after. But the book first is the constantly recurring insis- known childrearing guides authored by has an insidious fallout. Next time a tence that we redesign the parent role Drs. Speck and Brazelton. Even if one visibly gender-identified newborn is so that it liberates rather than oppresses were to assume that a similarity of sub- presented for inspection, the odds are women. The second theme stresses ject matter puts Dr. Greenberg’s book x to y that you’ll find yourself gargling the need to think about and act toward in direct competition with those of her your instinctive pink or blue response. our infants and children in ways that predecessors (which I firmly believe it Incidentally, I’ll tell you a secret. The allow them to develop vigorous and does not), her readers have a right to book is a fabulous story about a fabu- sound bodies, spirits, intellects, and be spared hearing this particular plea lous child for all genders of all ages. C, emotions, and permit them the two and three times. P, A broadest possible life options. Third, I I believe there are several reasons

SIECUS Report, January 1979 7 why sex educators will find Right from more research-oriented and would be sex stereotyping during infancy and the Start helpful. The book can be rec- useful to those studying sex-role childhood through influences from the ommended to parents who have an stereotyping behavior. In the first two family, the media, and educational sys- interest in nonsexist childrearing; it chapters, “Expecting the Baby” and tems. It explicitly portrays how the should prove useful to students in child “Early Childhood,” most of the re- seeds of feminine stereotypes are development courses and in senior search cited relates to mother- sown. This book is meant to be a valu- high school family living classes; and it daughter or mother-son relationships. able resource for the literate reader may well alert many professional read- This emphasis implies that the father- interested in sociological and an- ers to the hidden sexism which exists in child relationship is either nonexistent thropological research, but as such is current social institutions and in con- (which, if true, is worthy of mention not really appropriate or useful as a temporary childrearing practices. 11, A, and discussion), or that it does not add practical guide for the average parent. P, PR significantly to the stereotyping of a A, PR child, which I would find difficult to believe. Chapters three and four focus on the stereotyping effects derived from societal rather than home attitudes, through games, toys, litera- About Men. Phyllis Chesler. New York: Non-Sexist Childraising. Carrie Car- ture, and schools. The cross-cultural Simon and Schuster, 1978 (281 pp.; michael. Boston: Beacon Press, 1977 references throughout the book were $10.95). (162 pp.; $9.95). also interesting and enlightening. A major point of the book is that Reviewed by Keith W. Jacobs, PhD, What Are little Girls Made Of? The children are exceptionally sensitive to Departmenf of Psychology, Loyola Uni- Roots of Feminine Stereotypes. Elana everything that adults regard as appro- versity, New Orleans, La. Gianini Belotti. New York: Schocken priate for their sexes, and quickly learn Three different approaches are used in Books, 1976 (158 pp.; $7.95). to adapt their behaviors accordingly. distinct sections of this book to present Reviewed by Betsy A. Kelly, graduate Adults often mistakenly interpret this a controversial description of men. The student in Counselor Education, St. adaptive behavior as being “natural” author begins by presenting images Lawrence University, Canton, New for a certain sex, when it actually has from various art forms (classic literature York. been carefully manipulated. and mythology, paintings and As the mother of a seven-month-old What Are Little Girls Made Of? sur- sculpture, poetry) to present those baby, I found these two books of par- veys a wealth of valuable research on characteristics which the author sees as ticular interest. Non-Sexist Childraising differentiating men from women. The was the more readable of the two, and second part of the book presents au- clarified for me the many ways sexism Now in Paperback tobiographical sketches of significant creeps into childraising, even when we men in the author’s life which em- try to guard against it. In the Introduc- Human Sexuality phasize her perceptions of the dynam- tion, nonsexist childraising is defined ics of these interactions. The final part primarily as “celebrating the myriad in Four of the book is an essay “about men,” differences among girls and girls, and Perspectives also with a psychodynamic interpreta- boys and boys-not blunting the dif- tion of male behavior and the mas- ferences between girls and boys.” edited by Frank A. Beach culine personality. While I wholeheartedly endorse this These essays by William H. Davenport, The author suggests that the purpose view, by the end of the book I felt that Milton Diamond, David A. Hamburg, in writing the book was to understand Carmichael was advocating perceiving Martin Hoffman, Jerome Kagan, Fred- men. This understanding emphasizes a children just as children, almost to the erick T. Melges, John Money, Robert J. universal similarity of all men and, by point of denying the existence of two Staller, Richard E. Whalen, and Frank inference, the differences between A. Beach “should be an invaluable edu- sexes, an approach I do not believe cation for those tunfortunatelv nu- men and women. For example, men should be encouraged. The chapter on merous) social scientists and clinicians form a common bond between them- homophobia was beyond the scope of who overlook the powerful role played in selves, a “male bonding” that is univer- our sexuality by our physiology, mam- the book and could better be explored malian heritage, and genetically deter- sal to men and unique to them. In dy- in a book dealing with homosexuality. mined behavior. It should be in the library namics somewhat more complex than On the whole, however, the book of any professional who deals with human traditional psychoanalysis, the author was thoroughly enjoyable reading and sexualitv. It should annear on everv seems to suggest that the basis for this women’s studies bibliography. Lastly, it brought out many points to be pon- should be assigned reading in the in- bond is the male penis and the male’s dered and acted upon. It could serve as creasingly numerous college-level sex- universal envy of the uterus. a useful guide for anyone contemplat- education courses.” -Paul Gebhard, The publisher’s cover material and SIECUS Report ing having children who needs reassur- $5.95 paperback; $15.00 hardcover some of the text of the book appear to ance that there are others out there suggest that the book is the result of who are trying to combat sexism. It also “years of research” and “interviews” outlines a practical, down-to earth ap- JOHNS HOPKINS with a thousand men. Selected ex- proach for taking sexism out of child- The Johns Hopkins University Press cerpts quoted from some of these in- Baltimore, Maryland 21218 rearing. terviews can be found in the final part What Are Little Girls Made Of? is of the book. A reader might assume,

8 SIECUS Report, January 1979 based on the author’s education or penis by her observation that men have (or at least an erosion) of the typical scientific training, that the data for the prevented male nudes from being dis- behavior patterns men in our culture book came from objective interviews played in museums while female nude have been taught to accept as correct. carried out with some quasi-random statues are frontally displayed. I also The fact that men are examining, and to sample of American men. The author’s found interest in her observation that some extent rejecting, the roles as- preface more accurately suggests that married men over 30 prefer to have signed to them not only saddens Cittel- she has been observing and “interview- intercourse in the morning because son, but angers her. She is losing her ing” men all her life. The sources of her they can then escape the intimacy of “macho” man, and she does not like it. data include her father, lovers, col- the relationship with a partner to return Like a spurned lover she lashes out at leagues, friends-men presumably to their male world. The data from the whoever she feels is responsible, and selected because they provide the data author’s own experiences, from therein lies the only victorious aspect that is desired-and virtually anyone mythology, and from sources such as of the book-she succeeds in offend- else from whom might be obtained works of art in which the female body is ing almost everything and everybody. “data” to indicate what has helped (or mutilated, do indeed provide interest- Few are spared the tilt of her lance. hindered) them from becoming who ing data for a number of conclusions in On women’s sexuality: “Equality as they are. There is no methodological the book. perceived by women and eroticism as reason for believing that the data can The author suggests, “There are desired by them seemed antithetical. be generalized to other men, even ‘good’ fathers, and ‘good’ mothers; but The quest for orgasm, even multiple though the conclusions are stated as let us admit, even if the admission orgasm, has been aggressively inau- though they are universal and exclusive angers, frightens, or shames us, that gurated.” On sexual sharing: “It was to men. It should be noted, however, while ‘good’ people do exist, they are a getting to the moment when to screw that this work is not a large-scale, rarity, a miracle, a blessed exception.” I your own wife just for the subjugating, objective, descriptive study. would personally prefer to believe the domineering thrill of it would seem, Some of the conclusions reached opposite and to attribute her conclu- well, tasteless-and uncaring.” On about men are not consistent with sions to what could be termed “sam- men seeking change: “When dominus other normative studies of human be- pling error.” declined-weakening our heterosexual havior, and in other cases there simply This book does raise some issues foundations-it perverted the meaning are no objective data against which her which are vital to a study of sexual roles and substance of manhood, as man- conclusions can be compared. On a and to social behavior in general. My hood has always been understood. . . . more personal level, I find it extremely disagreement is with the conclusions They confessed gynecic longings; the difficult to accept many of her conclu- and the generality given to them, not wish to shed worldly obligations, the sions, both because her data are differ- with the questions raised. The reader, need to nurture, the itch to ‘experi- ent from mine and because I reject male or female, who is willing to face a ment’ with homosexuality, the urge to much of the way in which I (as a man) number of serious issues and accept abandon regular work, the desire to am being described. the author’s conclusions as only one cry.” On masturbation: “Masturbation Certainly there is some value in the perspective on them would probably was the salient ‘erotic’ act of the times book’s description of men. That value profit from a serious study of this book. for both men and women. Narcissus, lies largely in forcing each male reader A, PR not Eros, now stood for our sexual to ask, “Is that me, am I that way?” The aspirations.” On the men’s movement: l, value is not that an accurate description . . the men’s movement created of men is provided but that it should vaginal man. Soft, moist, and open, he cause people to reflect about their be- venerates all that is feminine, it might be said, while at the same time disdain- havior and the world in which they live. Dominus. Natalie Gittelson. New York: ing women.” On gay men: “The Main We do have wars, but are they all Farrar, Strauss and Giroux, 1978 (291 Street brute and the latent homosexual because men fear other men? Was the pp.; $10.00). war in Vietnam really an act of fathers described two sides of a coin. They Revie’wed by Sam Julty, author of MSP killing sons? It is suggested that “men, were both parodies of manhood, not women, are the deadliest killers on (Male Sexual Performance) and the rationalizing male incapacity and the forthcoming Men’s Bodies, Men’s earth,” but if so, is it for the reasons failure of nerve.” On black people: Selves (Dial Press, March 1979); given? The author categorizes her boss “Excesses of feelings did not alarm in 1966 as a man “in his mid-forties, member, NOW. these men and women.” virile, magnetic, deadly,” but was he In the introduction the author tells us By interweaving quotes with com- really so? She may well have known that Dominus is “a report from men ments, Gittelson records the responses “professor-husbands” who were “har- themselves about how the present to questions presumably asked by her, vesters of young intellectual girl stu- status and the new psychology of although her sampling methods are dents” and “ringmasters of sexual or- women has affected not only their erot- clearly open to question. Present are gies,” but is that a true generality about ic lives, but also their entire experi- the many ways men are reevaluating college professors, and is such be- ence.” their position and their roles in a havior really because of these men’s Unfortunately, her description is changing society. Missing, however, is awareness that they must themselves poorly realized in the book’s sixteen a dispassionate analysis of all that has die someday? chapters. It would be more accurate to happened in the last decade to allow The author makes an interesting case say that the report is a kaddish, a re- (indeed, force) men to examine the for the vulnerability of the sacred male quiem for what she perceives as a loss price of the title Lord and Master. Git-

SIECUS Report, January 1979 9 telson missed the essential points of that it was a title of rank accorded to points out that, while most biblical in- what the 1960s were all about for men when “master” specifically meant terpretation until very recently categor- men-namely, the antiwar, civil rights, ownership of slaves and land. In a way, ically labeled homosexuality as sin, and feminist movements, the youth Gittelson’s definition for “dominus” many biblical scholars are now becom- and sexual revolutions, Watergate, the and mine sum up the differences being critical of the pre-Christian regula- rise of the multinational corporations, tween her reaction to the changes in tions delineated in the early Old Testa- and the economic necessities which men, and mine. It will be a great day ment and of St. Paul’s so-called “Chris- give us a work force of which almost when her concepts of dominus join the tian” condemnations, on the basis that half are women. Taken all together, term itself as a relic of the past. A these tenets are in conflict with certain these events have made men wonder “biblical affirmations which are central just what masculinity is all about. to our faith.” He holds that “Christians It seems strange to me that for all her today are called to rethink their tradi- traveling and for all the hundreds of tional attitude toward homosexuality” men she spoke with she has not and to look “more openly and honestly grasped the messages I get in any Homosexuality and the Christian Faith: at the empirical phenomenon of casual chat with a man at a bar or in a A Symposium. Harold L. Twiss, ed. Val- homosexuality.” plane. I hear men concerned in ways ley Forge, Pa.: Judson Press, 1978 (110 Another liberal point of view is ex- they never were 20 years ago. I hear pp.; $3.95 paper). pressed by Theodore Jennings in Chap- men questioning the need to perform ter 5, “Homosexuality and Christian Reviewed by Leon Smith, BD, EdD; on the job, in the home, with the Faith: A Theological Reflection.” He member, S/ECUS Advisory Panel. children, within a relationship, and in believes that, given the fundamental bed. I hear men wondering whether In an effort to help Christians think principle of a gracious God, no theolog- the compulsion for performance has seriously about issues related to ical basis therefore exists for hetero- anything to do with having shorter life homosexuality and the church, Harold sexuality to be considered “better” spans than women. I hear men not L. Twiss has compiled nine previously than homosexuality, and he points to willing to forget the Vietnam experi- published articles (1976-77) represent- the weaknesses of the biblical pro- ence and beginning to see correlations ing points of view extending from very scriptions against homosexuality. He between masculinity and war. conservative to very liberal. This wide says, “The church must stand with I suspect Gittelson heard these same diversity of contemporary opinion re- homosexuals against those sociopoliti- messages but chose to discard them. veals the way clergy are struggling with cal structures that deprive them of the Instead, she gives us scorn and anger. their consciences over these issues, for protection of the law and the rights and Men are not men, she repeats, if they he has chosen a group of writers who privileges of full members of society.” are not seeking marriage, if they are are fairly representative of the religious He also urges exploration of the Chris- enjoying celibacy, if they are seeking community today. tian concept of vocation as it involves intimacy with other men. Throughout The current controversy over homosexual persons. the book, whenever she quotes a man homosexuality is a struggle of con- Two chapters by conservatives are who attacks the traditional sex role be- science because of events both within “How Gray Is Gay?” by Lynn R. Buz- havior, she uses her skill with words to the religious community and within so- zard (“The practice of homosexuality is make him look as if there is something ciety. In Chapter 2, “A Biblical Perspec- clearly sin” from which such persons wrong with him; in a few instances she tive on Homosexuality,” David Bartless “ought to repent”), and “Sexual Dif- expresses surprise that homosexuality is not appealing to such a man. Her writing is brisk and journalistic. While I had no reason to doubt the accuracy of most of the anecdotes, my credulity was strained by some of the situations she described. For instance, how did she record in such detail what was said at a men’s gathering in Vir- ginia, or what happened at a faculty lunch on the campus of a small black college? In addition, if her descriptions of human sexuality workshops, the films shown and the language used by the sex educators, are indeed accurate, it should be cause for great alarm among us professionals. On the title page is the inscription

“Dominus, in Latin, means master- l Price 95 For descriptive brochure. order blank write once a title of honor, accorded to Jewish Children’s Bureau One South FrankIln Street men.” Thus, the weakness of the book ChIcago lll~no~s 60606 is encapsulated. A fuller and more ac- 1312]34&6700 curate definition of the word reveals

10 SIECUS Report, January 1979 ferences: A Cultural Convention?” by knowledge about homosexuality as case of danger to the life or health of John M. Batteau who on the one possible. A, PR the woman, if the child will be born hand gives a rather “stern word of physically or mentally handicapped, if condemnation,” and on the other con- the pregnancy was the result of rape, cludes that “homosexuals must not be incest, or intercourse outside of mar- left with a stern word of condemnation riage, or if the woman is below the age from a distant and repulsed body of love and Sex: A Modern Jewish of 16 or over 40. people called the Church; instead they Perspective. Robert Cordis. New York: Only in marriage can human beings must be faced with a Church, with Farrar, Straus and Ciroux, 1978 (290 “fulfill the highest dictates of their na- Christians, with a God who reaches out pp.; $8.95). ture.” Society has long experimented to bless even through condemnation.” with alternate lifestyles. They have Reviewed by Rabbi Bernard Kligfeld, In Chapter 6, “The Dynamics of Sex- been tried and found wanting. DD, Temple fmanu-El, long Beach ual Anxiety,” James Harrison, a Presby- Monogamy has prevailed and “it offers N.Y.; member, SlKUS Advisory Panel. terian minister who is a clinical the best hope for the well-being of the psychologist, declares, “It is the fear of Today’s “new morality” holds out prom- greatest number of men, women, and homosexuality that is destructive and ise of a more enjoyable life but it also children.” not homosexuality per se.” Further, creates problems, both manifest and Cordis seeks a viable code from the out of fear that Christians may become unforeseen, which require an old-new best insights of traditional morality too accepting of homosexuality which wisdom for solution. Robert Gordis, along with the insights and proclama- he sees as sin, William Muehl offers professor of Bible and Philosophy of tions of the present sexual revolution. “Some Words of Caution” in Chap- Religion at the Jewish Theological His view that love and sex are indivisi- ter 7. Seminary of America, finds in Jewish ble for complete satisfaction in the In Chapter 8, “Conservative Chris- tradition a substantial measure of light man-and-woman relationship flies in tians and Gay Civil Rights,” Letha Scan- and direction for a viable system of the face of much current writing. Along zoni, herself a conservative and a free- behavioral standards in sex, love, and with assuming that homosexuality is a lance writer, tries to be objective in marriage. viable alternative, the “new morality” reporting how conservatives facing the In his book, Dr. Gordis, a leader of proclaims that sex can be, and indeed issue of civil rights in Bloomington, In- one of the largest Conservative con- is, enjoyed for its own sake; it need not diana, in 1975-76 struggled toward a gregations on the eastern seaboard, have any restrictions except perhaps more compassionate understanding of finds the “new morality” which the avoidance of injury to the self or homosexual persons by meeting them dichotomizes body and spirit to be “an another. A final verdict on these ideas personally. inversion of classical Christianity.” may never be reached, but there is no Chapter 9, “Shall Gays Be Or- Mainstream Judaism, on the other doubt that the attitudes derived from dained?” is not, as one might expect, a hand, while responding creatively to Judaism permit a healthy enjoyment of discussion of the issue, but is instead the felt needs of its adherents, as well sex while insisting that love and re- an attempt by Tracy Early, a journalist, as to changing circumstances, has sponsibility, for the good of mankind, to summarize the results of the con- never made this separation. Thus, for must ideally be part of sex. The book is troversy on this issue among the major example, while biblical law has tradi- scholarly, very readable, and written churches in recent years. tionally severely limited the rights and with understanding and compassion. The most objective chapter in the freedom of women (although it was in A, PR collection is the first, “Homosexuality, this respect far in advance of contem- An Overview,” by Alan Bell, co-author porary law in surrounding societies), of the recently published book Homo- rabbinic legal development was and is sexualities: A Study of Diversity Among toward an ever-increasing measure of Men and Women. He makes the case equality between the sexes. The Gender: An Ethnomethodological Ap- for “homosexualities” by illustrating Ketubbah, a marriage contract, was proach. Suzanne J. Kessler and Wendy from careful research how “homosex- elaborated to provide specific protec- McKenna. New York: John Wiley and uals are as different from each other as tion to the woman in case of divorce or Sons, 1978 (233 pp.; $16.95). heterosexuals are.” This suggests that, death of the husband. The biblical law Reviewed by Marilyn Nelkin, MA, New in facing the issue, churches must learn (levirate) requiring the marriage of a Lincoln School; volunteer, Community to look beyond the common myths and dead man’s childless widow to his Sex Information, Inc. stereotypic images of gay men and brother was amended in Europe by the women and consider homosexuals 10th century, after which it virtually As the title suggests, this book has two primarily as the human beings they are. ceased to be permitted. Procreation purposes. One is an examination of This book is a must, it seems to me, has always been considered a religious how we in Western society decide if for those who wish to see how deep- duty, but birth control is permitted. someone is female or male. When we and at times illogical-the divergent The Orthodox rabbinate is very strict see a stranger, how we tell if she/he is a views of committed Christians are on regarding abortion, allowing it only in woman or a man? The authors call the this troubling subject. These same dif- the case of an authentic threat to the process of making this classification ferences are clearly reflected in the life of the mother. The Israeli Knesset, gender attribution. But the book’s main society as a whole. Their resolution is however, adopted a law in 1977 which purpose is to introduce the concept of urgently needed, and will be facilitated Gordis finds in consonance with the ethnomethodology and to show the by the spread of as much factual spirit of Judaism, permitting abortion in advantages of its use, especially in re-

SlECUS Report, January 1979 11 search. Briefly, the main points of to see the vast array of human physical gender attribution. Often what hap- ethnomethodology as presented by the forms and behaviors as falling into only pens now is that when someone cannot authors are: two classifications. The questions of make a satisfactory gender attribution research would then change from about another person, she/he becomes 1. There is no objective reality. “how are men and women different?” upset, and her/his disequilibrium takes 2. What we think of as reality is a to “what are other possible alternatives the form of anger at the person who is social construct. for defining human beings?” To rein- the cause of the confusion. This anger 3. There are certain methods that force their point of view Kessler and results in a collective intolerance for each society employs in order to con- McKenna examine several an- those who stray away from the struct its own reality so that its mem- thropological, biological, and de- stereotypes. If people recognized that bers are privy to shared perceptions. velopmental theories. The second they always made their attributions People who approach research from chapter makes the point that not all probabilistically, they would not have this framework are not trying to under- societies have divided the world up the same degree of investment in these stand an external reality but to under- into two dichotomous genders, for decisions and would become more stand the methods that a particular so- some have made room for a third gen- able to accept a greater range of sex- ciety uses to construct its particular der alternative. The authors point to related attitudes, feelings, and be- universe. the people in aboriginal North America haviors in themselves and others. In the preface, the authors contend “who received social sanction to be- The findings of the authors’ experi- that these two concepts, ethnometh- come a gender other than to which ments are interesting. They work from odology and gender, can be separated they were originally assigned (named at the premise that there is no one gender so that “for those who do not find birth).” Other societies have different cue that holds in every situation as the themselves compatible with phenom- gender realities from ours, so that ours definitive one for gender determina- enologically based theories this book is just as much a social construct as tion. Biologically, it is not chromo- can be read as a set of questions about theirs and may be equally valid. somes, hormones, or genitals. An- gender.” If this can be done at all it The next two chapters review biolog- thropologically, there is no fixed will take a determined effort on the ical and developmental theories con- female or male behavior that holds in part of the reader. The authors have cerning gender and make the point that every society. Psychologically, there is been so successful in weaving their “in seeing the biological sciences as no way of feeling or acting that can be arguments for ethnomethodology into the foundation for all behaviors, we shown with uniformity to be “typically” the text that these general philosoph- tend to overlook the fact that this is female or male. To every definition ical and epistemological questions only one of an infinite number of ways there is the exception. “There is no tend to push the specific one of gen- of seeing the world.” There has been rule for deciding ‘male’ or ‘female’ that der into the background. Neverthe- no scientific research that has estab- will always work.” less, the major questions concerning lished the “real” existence of two gen- Their experiments tried to find how gender which can be extracted bear ders, and no necessary and sufficient people would attribute gender without consideration by sexologists. reason has yet been offered to estab- sufficient concrete cues. They used a As ethnomethodologists, Kessler and lish definitively the nature of masculin- series of overlay transparencies, each McKenna work from the premise that ity or femininity. one showing a female or male charac- two dichotomous genders do not have The transsexual then is studied in an teristic, i.e., breast, penis, long or short an existence in a reality which is inde- attempt to derive rules for attributing hair, curved or narrower hips, etc. By pendent of society. Rather, people in gender in a “normal” context from placing one transparency over another, Western society construct the reality of what happens in the “abnormal” situa- different people of more or less defini- two different and opposite genders. tion. The authors try to analyze what tive gender types could be con- People then assume that this construc- transsexuals have to do to become ac- structed, and the participants were tion is an “irreducible fact” with an cepted by society as a gender different asked to give the sex of the various independent external existence. Be- from the one they were assigned at figures. From an analysis of the re- cause researchers are themselves also birth. sponses, Kessler and McKenna con- the products of this way of thinking, As gender stereotypes break down, cluded that the schema used in our every kind of research on human sexu- people today are questioning the old society is to “see someone as female ality, be it anthropological, biological, definitions of femininity and masculin- only when you cannot see them as or developmental, inevitably assumes ity. The authors suggest that instead of male.” This finding is not surprising in the independent existence of two, and dichotomizing gender as we now do, a male-oriented society and has impor- only two, sexes. The authors urge we should think of it on a continuum tant implications for sexual equality. throughout the book that research and make no judgmental decisions Overall, the book is thoughtfully should begin with a different premise, about placement on the continuum. If planned and clearly written for such an namely, that to take for granted the one accepts the continuum idea, gen- intrinsically complicated and contro- objective reality of two genders is no der decisions in everyday life could be versial approach. The bibliography is more “true” than, say, sexual neutrality made on a probability rather than a extensive and would be helpful to those or x number of genders. With accep- definitive basis. This would give people planning gender research. There is also tance of this perception, the emphasis the leeway to revise initial attributions a long appendix which contains letters of research would no longer be on without the problems they now experi- from a transsexual who is in the pro- discovering how men and women dif- ence, and we would not be so dis- cess of changing gender identity. fer but would focus on how we come turbed when faced with an unclear I have chosen to accent the points

12 SIECUS Report, January 1979 above because they have the greatest chapters to provide greater insight into were selected or how the question- interest for sexologists. The authors do the various age groups. naires were distributed. Even though not devote much time to these ideas, Dr. Shanor presents a most positive the author asserts that her data are however, and present them almost in approach to sexuality, one not limited supplied by “a representative cross- passing. The bulk of the book is de- to genital sexuality: “A person who section of American men,” I simply voted to persuading the reader of the feels healthy, alive, and good about the cannot accept this degree of general- advantages of ethnomethodology. For world is a sexual person.” The view of ization without statistical explicitness. this reason Gender will mainly be of male sexuality which emerges from her Her casual approach to basic method- interest to students of philosophy, study contrasts abruptly with the tra- ological considerations is, therefore, epistemology, and especially ethno- ditional “macho” stereotype of the the major weakness of this work. methodology. The sexologist without a American male. As suggested in the This book may still, however, repre- background or a special interest in book’s title, he emerges as a sexually sent a valuable contribution to under- these areas will find the book hard sensitive person, with a capacity for standing male sexuality and promoting going as the ethnomethodology gets tenderness, who values the relation- the emergence of man as a sexually in the way of the discussion of gender ship as much as the sexual act itself. sensitive being. In parlicular, the male rather than enhancing it. While there are some areas of agree- who is uncomfortable with his per- But whether or not one accepts the ment between her findings and those ceived deviation from the male concept of ethnomethodology, Gender of previous studies, such as the fre- stereotype will find in this book a reas- does reaffirm the idea that different quency of masturbation, her findings surance of the normality of being sensi- people have different realities, and the also suggest a movement away from tive and “caring.” While written sensitive educator and therapist must the behaviors and attitudes of the past. primarily for general readership, this be constantly aware of this in dealing Also emerging in her portraits of work should also be of value to profes- with students and clients. The book American males is a tremendous vari- sionals in the areas of sex education, does not go beyond espousing the ability in sexual behavior, particularly therapy, and academics. I personally value of a greater number of options, in terms of that with which men are com- enjoyed reading the book, and was whereas a discussion of choice among fortable. Her study seems to suggest comfortable with the males presented. these alternatives is a fundamental for that sexual attitudes and behavior are My overall impression of the book is educators and therapists. The student more or less age-specific, that social dif- positive, but overlain with scientific or client presented with a vast array of ferences are disappearing, and that men skepticism. A, PR options and no guidelines for choosing are slowly being liberated from restric- among them may be paralyzed, and tive stereotypes. Some attention is also this is one of the problems with the given to ethnic differences in sexuality ethnomethodological declaration that (only 52% of her sample is Caucasian) having more options is a good in itself. and differences in sexual orientation There comes a point when an increas- (only 88% of her male respondents ing number of options leads to chaos classified themselves as heterosexual). CORRECTION rather than to effective choice. PR She seems to go beyond her questionnaire and interview data in the ex- While we make every effort to ensure tremely well-written and important that all SIECUS bibliographies contain final chapter, “Coming Together,” in the most accurate and up-to-date in- which she presents a more global view formation available, occasionally errors The Shanor Study: Sexual Sensitivity of of male and female sexuality: “Men do occur. Please note the following the American Male. Karen Shanor. New and women are learning more corrections to “Human Sexuality: York: Dial Press, 1978 (274 pp.; $8.95). humanistic ways of relating based on Books for Everyone,” which appeared sincerity and concern for ‘the other.’ in the November 1978 S/ECUS Report: Reviewed by Keith W. Jacobs, PhD, They are learning to coordinate their Under the heading “Preteens”: Love Department of Psychology, Loyola Uni- true feelings with their bodies so sex and Sex and Growing Up by Eric W. versity, New Orleans, Louisiana. will stop being a masquerade and can Johnson and Corrine B. Johnson is This study of male sexual fantasies was become a part of the person inside. available in a revised hardcover edition apparently developed as a sequel to Dr. They are becoming whole, sensitive (1. B. Lippincott Co., 1977; $6.95), and Shanor’s earlier book on female sexual human beings-enhancing their sexu- in paperback (Bantam, 1979; $1.75). fantasies (The Fantasy Files, 1977), but ality and their lives.” Under the heading “Early Teens”: seems to have been expanded into a I would like to think that this work Sex: Telling It Straight by Eric W. major study of contemporary male actually represents a rigorous scientific Johnson will be available in a revised sexuality. The contents are organized study of the American male, but, while edition (J. B. Lippincott Co., 1979; by relevant topics (orgasm, masturba- the author includes an appendix con- $6.95), and Love and Sex in Plain Lan- tion, fantasy) and by age groups (4Os, taining demographic descriptions of guage by Eric W. Johnson is available 3Os, 2Os, golden years, and teens). Each the 4,062 males who completed her in a revised hardcover edition (J. B. section is written in a straightforward questionnaire, a copy of the question- Lippincott Co., 1977; $6.95), and in manner, presenting the author’s con- naire, and reference to an additional 70 paperback (Bantam, 1979; $1.75). clusions and supporting these by quo- intensive interviews each lasting sev- We apologize to the authors and tations from her respondents. Detailed eral hours, conspiculously absent is publishers for incorrectly listing their case studies are presented in several any reference as to how these subjects works.

SIECUS Report, January 1979 13 JOURNAL REVIEWS

JOURNAL OF CURRENT the typical booklist. The issue is taste- A New Authority: Images in the Media. SOCIAL ISSUES fully illustrated with carefully chosen Nelson Price. Journal of Current Social Issues, 287 photographs. The author takes a close look at sex- Park Avenue South, New York, NY I have selected several articles to related images portrayed in the media mention specifically in this review. 10010) and the negative consequences these images have on young people’s at- Reviewed by Gary F. Kelly, Director of Spirit and Flesh. Nathaniel Guptill. titudes and value systems. He discusses the Student Development Center, This is a sensitively personal state- the stereotypic sex roles and the resul- Clarkson College, Potsdam, New York; ment in which the author faces some of tant sexism so evident on current tele- member, SIECUS Advisory Panel. his own feelings of inadequacy in deal- vision. Another serious image is the ing with sexual issues. Yet he emerges tendency to laugh at sex, refusing to Vol. 15, No. 1, Spring 1978 with some guidelines for sexual under- see it as an important, serious part of standing that are positive and emphatic Special Issue: Sex is Aweful life. In general, human sexuality is con- about the need for personal responsi- sistently and constantly demeaned by bility. Guptill’s values are unabashedly the media. The article concludes with I had thought lately that special issues biased, but the straightforwardness of eight action suggestions for adults who on human sexuality were beginning to his ideas appealed to me. wish to counteract these negative in- overlap and tread on old ground. This fluences in their own families and in issue of a church-affiliated journal, Search for Identity. James Harrison. their society. however, is filled with perceptive, in- In this wide-ranging article, Harrison sightful articles which held my interest examines several important issues: the One Mother’s Journey. Mary Black. and opened new doors of understand- human need for guidance in sexual This is the story of a woman who had ing, even when I disagreed with some learning and decision making; the fad- to face her son’s homosexuality and ing effects of the traditional authority of their points. The introductory edito- deal with the many feelings of guilt and rial by Paul Sherry notes the bewilder- of the church; and the limitations of fear generated by this realization. It is a ing struggle which we perpetually face science in dealing with some ques- deeply sensitive treatment, covering all as we move toward a deeper level of tions. In the latter part of the article, he of the typical reactions which many discusses implications of some current understanding regarding sex. Sherry parents of gays undergo: shock, guilt, points out that this special issue at- sociosexual research in areas such as anger, searching for causes and rea- tempts to avoid sensationalism, be sen- psychosexual development, sex differ- sons, and-finally-loving acceptance. sitive to human feelings and anxieties, ences, and families. The author con- The article is “lovingly dedicated to all and be cautious about making unduly cludes with a significant statement parents of children who happen to be hasty conclusions. In most cases the concerning the importance of associat- gay,” and would be helpful reading for articles are faithful to those goals. My ing science, religion, and sociology in any such parent. only general criticism is that the issue the development of ethical systems seems to dichotomize all humans into which affect sexuality and the family. Two Churches Respond to Human heterosexual or homosexual, not pay- Tomorrow’s Family. Sol Gordon and Sexuality. G. William Sheek. ing enough attention to a variety of Craig Snyder. This article thoughtfully compares other sexual orientations and prefer- In this very hopeful and positive pa- various positions on human sexuality ences. One could wonder if the other per, which sees glimmerings of re- taken by the Roman Catholic church sexual minorities are held in a negative newed excitement and cohesiveness and the United Church of Christ. It light. within the American family unit, the does not in any way have a competitive The papers are organized into four authors combine current research find- flavor, but contrasts some central sex- very relevant sections: “Sources of Au- ings on teenagers and their parents related concepts from the two religious thority,” providing a variety of with strong, insightful recommen- bodies. The author works for a better guidelines for sexual decision making; dations for preserving the family’s understanding of the implications of “The Family and Teenage Sexuality,” strength. Their political awareness is church teachings for church members focusing on helping young people be- evident in their statement that “Unless and for society. An important conclu- come responsible sexual persons; we advocate responsible sexuality and sion of the paper is that both churches “Public Policy Issues,” ranging from lobby for beneficial programs, our leg- have challenged members of the Chris- the ERA and homosexuality to sex and acy to our children will be one of tian community to deal seriously with the handicapped; and a “Resources” alienation and increasing decay of fam- human sexuality and decision making section which includes far more than ily life.” as a new dimension of their ministry.

14 SIECUS Report, January 1979 “Sissies,” Continued from page 2 the meantime, we can work at the macro-scale to reduce can seek out other nonroughhouse boys to be playmates for society’s demands for conventionalism, and at the micro- their son. The boy should not receive positive responses scale to reduce conflict for a troubled family and a troubled from parents for cross-dressing or role-playing as a female. child. Fathers should be encouraged to spend more time with their References sons in activities enjoyable to both-camping, fishing, read- Bieber, I., et al. Homosexuality. New York: Basic Books, 1962. ing, exploring. Boys should be told that they cannot change Green, R. Sexual identity conflict in children and adults. New York: sex, and that cross-dressing does not transform a boy into a Penguin, 1975. girl. At young ages, thinking on this matter can be concrete. Green, R. Adults who want to change sex, adolescents who cross- Children should clearly know the anatomical differences dress, and children called “sissy” and “tomboy.” In R. Green (Ed.), Human sexuality: A health practitioner’s text (2nd ed.). between boys and girls, and that boys become men and girls Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1979. women. They should know that disinterest in sports or Kaya, M., et al. Homosexuality in women. Archives of General roughhouse play does not leave becoming a girl as the only Psychiatry, 1967, 626-634. remaining option. They need to know that many boys and Saghir, M., & Robins, E. Ma/e and female homosexuality. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1973. men have esthetic interests, do not enjoy roughhouse play, Whitam, F. Childhood indicators of male homosexuality. Archives of and that in a world they perceive as black and white, grays Sexual Behavior, 1977, 6, 89-96. exist. If the boy is being teased because of feminine gestures and mannerisms, parents can gently but firmly point out these behaviors when they occur. In this era of unisex, feminism, and a general blurring of -YOU KNOW THAT.. . sex roles, it may seem antediluvian to write an article called “ ‘Sissies’ and ‘Tomboys.’ “ Yet these terms continue to express our society’s descriptions and expectations of chil- Fifth International Symposium dren’s behavior. They immediately convey patterns of be- Includes Study Tour Option havior that concern some parents, cause distress for some children, and may draw the family physician into the role of The Fifth International Symposium on Sex Education, to be counselor. held on June 24-28, 1979, in Tel Aviv, Israel, is open to I do not know how much “sex-typed” behavior is inborn, professional workers concerned with sex education-school but clearly it is not entirely such. If society continues to physicians, gynecologists, pediatricians, psychiatrists, social accommodate to more variance from the stereotypical pat- workers, psychologists, counselors, teachers, sociologists, tern, perhaps fewer children will be stigmatized and fewer school administrators-and to nonprofessional persons in- t will be pushed toward other-sex identification. I hope so. In terested in the promotion of sex education programs in their communities. This year’s primary theme is “Sexuality and Sex Education in Childhood.” The first of these symposia was held in Tel Aviv in 1972, with the participation of 600 professionals from 23 countries, stemming from 20 different disciplines. The 1979 registration James Leslie McCary, PhD fee until February 28 is $120 ($60 for accompanying persons, and $50 for students). From March 1, the respective rates are On August 31,1978, Dr. James Leslie McCary died $140, $70, and $60. For a copy of the preliminary program, in Houston, Texas, at the age of 59. A widely including subtopics and guidelines for the submission of known and respected pioneer in the sex educa- abstracts for papers, and for travel arrangement information, tion field, he was a prolific writer with an interna- write to Stanley Piltch, Compass Tours, Inc., 70 West 40th tional reputation as a behavioral scientist. His Street, New York, NY 10018. book Human Sexuality, now in its third edition, Plans are being made for a postconference study group was the first such educational textbook and his tour of Israel (June 29-July 3) with an optional three-day visit course, “Human Sexuality, Marriage and Family,” to a major city in Europe (July 46). If you are interested in instituted at the University of Houston in 1964, joining either the five-day or the eight-day tour (if the latter, became the first course of its kind in a U.S. please indicate which of the following cities you would university, and has remained a solid favorite of prefer: Rome, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Athens), contact campus students. Mr. Piltch. Outside New York State you may call him toll free Dr. McCary served on the SIECUS Board of at 8001223-6393. Directors from 1970 to 1973, and his dedicated support was invaluable during the years of public resistance to the organization’s stated goals and Resources to Write for . . . aims. His book Sexual Myths and Fallacies was dedicated to Mary S. Calderone and the pioneer Sex News, a Monthly Digest of News, Views, Events, Publica- workers of the Sex Information and Education tions and Resources, edited by P. K. Houdek, is an informa- Council of the U.S. tion-packed, easy-to-read four-page newsletter well worth its His death represents a great loss to everyone price. The material in each issue covers local, state, and na- involved in the study of human sexuality. tional events concerned with human sexuality. Twelve issues cost $5.50 ($5 if payment accompanies order). Write to: Sex News, 7140 Oak Street, Kansas City, MO 64114.

SIECUS Report, January 1979 15