We Are Here Because You Were There

WERE THERE BECAUSE YOU WE AREHERE By Sathnam Sanghera The Empire and me MAGAZINE OF THE YEAR GUESS WHO’S MOODY (AGAIN) MOODY WHO’S GUESS PERFECT PETER! PERFECT MELANIE REID MELANIE THE CORENS IN LOCKDOWN IN CORENS THE BAKE OFF’S BABY-FACED BABY-FACED OFF’S BAKE I’VE NEVER BEEN SO SO BEEN NEVER I’VE ASSASSIN ASSASSIN SCARED AS I AM NOW AM I AS SCARED

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5 Caitlin Moran Why women hate winter. 7 Spinal column: Melanie Reid I’ve never been so scared of catching Covid. 8 Men behaving… differently Free Swimmer Dude, Crafting Man – meet the pandemic’s new tribes. 12 The prime of Ms Emerald Fennell She’s 35, best friends with Phoebe Waller-Bridge, plays Camilla in The Crown and has just directed her first film. 18 Cover story Sathnam Sanghera The Times writer on why we’ll never eradicate today’s inequalities without understanding our colonial past. 24 Bake Off’s new prince Alex Renton talks to the latest winner, Peter Sawkins. Plus 27 Eat! Peter’s new recipes, exclusively for The Times. 38 The truth about QAnon A PR exec who had a breakdown after falling in with the conspiracy theorists reveals their methods. 44 The unusual suspect What turned a Devon teenager into a Robin Hood-style bank robber? 50 The Corens are back! There’s no putting a positive spin on Lockdown 3.0. 52 Beauty Tackling dark circles. 53 Men’s style The shoes to buy now. 58 Beta male: Robert Crampton Nonsense songs will get us through.

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The Times Magazine 3

CAITLIN MORAN Why winter sucks (for women) Dark evenings. Sick kids. And don’t even start me on hat hair

inter is the most Now let us consider the Work of Winter sexist season – it’s – for the coldest months bring us both the four months Christmas and viruses. With Christmas just in which it’s behind us, every woman has been freshly hardest to be a reminded of how the burden of labour divides woman. Although up, gender-wise. Research shows that women W it’s difficult to spend an average of 72 hours “doing Christmas believe that shit”, compared with men’s mere 29, which clusters of months involves things men genuinely find invisible, could foment animus towards human beings like “getting children to write thank-you cards” based on their genitals – How could they? and “cleaning the toilet on Christmas Eve, so Why would they? How is this part of nature’s it’s befitting the birth of Baby Jebus”. plan? – let me assure you I have applied the Virus-wise, meanwhile, even without the finest of science (a cup of tea and a think) immense f***ery of Covid-19, it has been a to this theory and found it still holds water. long-established fact that, in a family with two Let us consider the facts – and start with working parents, if a child vomits at 7pm on bosoms and feet. Of the two main genders, a Sunday night, it is almost certainly vomiting women tend to have much smaller feet and on Mummy’s working week – and not Daddy’s. also considerable mass in the bra area. In Ill children sneeze on feminism, cough in the the summer months, there are advantages to face of Mary Wollstonecraft and have terrible this arrangement – it allows us to wear strappy toilet problems on the suffragist movement in high heels and swimsuits, take part in beauty general. When you take a child’s temperature, competitions and, thus, marry millionaires. the thermometer should not read “101 degrees”, Men’s rights activists see this ability to “look but, “Mummy’s deadlines are buggered.” sexy and marry millionaires” as one of Hats. Can we talk about hats? Men, with women’s greatest unfair advantages – quite their short hair, need not fear a hat – because rightly, given that, in a global population men’s hair looks the same, at all times, no of 3.7 billion women, maybe over 6 of them matter what you do with it. Women’s hair, on successfully carry out this plan in any year. the other hand – with its length and volume In the winter, however, the onset of icy and predilection towards being “styled” – can pavements means our top-heavy, tiny-shoed essentially be killed by 20 minutes in a bobble bodies are far more liable to slip and topple hat. This may seem like a small thing, but over on, eg, the unexpectedly steep, luge-like obviously it isn’t, because, as Fleabag rightly alleyway by Harringay station, and smash pointed out, “Hair, Anthony, is everything.” It’s our knees up quite badly. During the winter difficult to maintain a cheerful disposition if months, you realise how useful a male partner your previously lovely, big, bouncy hair has is – when out walking in slippery conditions, been crushed into a rank, sebum-riddled mat. you can “take their arm” and essentially use The only real answer to Winter Hat Hair is them as a sentient walking frame, to stabilise to keep the hat on all day – never revealing your seasonally impractical combination of how awful the hair underneath is, but also, “trotters and massive wabs”. unavoidably, feeling a bit like a gnome. It is evidence of nature’s breathtaking If women can’t get out What else? Oh, millions of things. Standard cruelty that an otherwise bold, independent Comforting Winter Food makes women fatter single woman who has chosen to live with an of the house before than men – our metabolisms are slower. Four adorable dog will be at a double disadvantage out of five sufferers of seasonal affective during winter’s long misogyny. For not only 3 o’clock in January, disorder are female – perhaps because winter’s does she not have a man to stabilise her early sun-downs mean it’s more difficult for us perilous gait, but, additionally, as soon as we’re trapped inside to get out for a walk, or a run, because women the dog sees a squirrel, she will become “the can’t roam around at night. It’s dangerous! If unwilling screaming sledge” in an impromptu until Easter we can’t get out of the house before 3pm in lady-dog sledge team – quite possibly by the January, we’re trapped inside until Easter! unexpectedly steep, luge-like alleyway by As you can see, there’s no avoiding the Harringay station – and smash her knee up simple fact: winter hates women. As far as quite badly for the second time in a week. women are concerned, every winter is the

ROBERT WILSON ROBERT So far, Winter 1, Women 0. winter of our discontent. n

The Times Magazine 5

Spinal column Melanie Reid ‘The threat of the galloping virus has defeated me. I’ve never been so scared as I am now’

ravery is a concept edges of my sanity. As never I’ve always been before, my fear manifests itself suspicious of. I’m in physical weakness and pain. not sure it exists. I throw up in the night. I’m close Mainly, it’s what to tears much of the time. I B you do when there attempt to start two different isn’t really an antidepressants. They just make option to do me feel nauseous. anything else. Bravado, though, In as much as I’m able, that’s something else altogether; I pull up the drawbridge. Cancel a conceit, a performance. my cleaner (she’ll walk the dog Ever since my accident, instead). Cancel a much needed bravado has sustained me: a dental appointment. The broken pretence of bravery, determined molar – Dave’s toffees, lockdown positivity in the face of a comfort chomping – can wait a desperately shitty situation. From few months for the vaccine. It’s the word go, the only way I knew not an immediate threat to life. to survive was by playing “things Ditto my hospital appointments could be worse” every waking for complications in my throat. moment. Could be dead; could I grovel to the outpatients’ be brain-damaged; could be receptionist: I’m really sorry, unable to feed myself; could I’m scared to leave home. She’s be unemployable. lovely about it. I smiled the Pollyanna smile Because of course the and played the Pollyanna glad culmination of the nightmare, the game, which basically tells you to real horror at the end of the road, be grateful you got your fingers would be ending up in hospital crushed in a vice, because with Covid, stripped of all control. otherwise you’d never have Being a tetraplegic in a general known the bliss of having them ward under normal conditions freed. And over time I remodelled is bad enough, because paralysis myself as a paragon of cheery compromised lungs and stressed And if one of us does catch it, needs specialist care and nurses fortitude, a total pro at making organs – it’s my physical what then? I can’t vacate our bed, don’t have the time to learn. You the best of things. I did it for my dependency that crushes me. It or look after him, or move out, or face unintended neglect, pressure family and I did it for myself, and thrums in my ears, night and day. keep myself safe. Whatya gonna sores and incomprehension. I’ve everyone assumed I was as strong The practical implications keep do? Phone a friend? What if there experienced a fragment of it. In and humorous as I appeared. me awake at night, fretting: the aren’t any lifelines left? Not a Covid ward, given the pressure Thus you grow into your mask. inescapable reality of being everyone will understand quite upon the poor staff, the situation But not any more. The unable to survive independently. what it means to be physically would be diabolical. existential threat of the galloping I can’t wash or dress or get out of reliant on other people who one Weirdly, it’s being a mother virus has defeated me. It’s bed into a wheelchair by myself. day might not be there. It’s a that holds me together. Mums something from which no amount How can I guard myself from choking, oppressive fear. Like always keep going, however old of positive thinking can rescue infection, or self-isolate, when being an antelope tethered, waiting their children are. So I sit, try not me. And how many of us there someone has to do these things for the predators – absolute to cry, fuss about Dave, and wait must be, cowering in our homes, for me? What if my carer gets physical helplessness and dread. for the cavalry to arrive. This is plain terrified and unable to take sick? What if Dave gets sick? My tiny comfort zone of home, not bravery, but it works. n any more bad news, crying for our I dread every time he goes out to created and nurtured so carefully, long-dead mums and wishing we buy milk. I nag, hating myself as my place of safety, feels as if it’s @Mel_ReidTimes weren’t grown-up any more. much as he does. “Wear a mask! hanging by a thread. Everything Melanie Reid is tetraplegic after Over and above other Gel your hands! Stand back when is in jeopardy. The potential loss breaking her neck and back in

MURDO MACLEOD vulnerabilities – I’m over 60, with you speak to people!” of control over my life shreds the a riding accident in April 2010

The Times Magazine 7 Proud of his kids’ puppy

Loves his new facial hair

Flaunts his lockdown-workout body

His corporate look is so over ARE YOU NEW PUPPY MAN? OR A ZOOM DADDY? Men in the time of Covid

Hey bros, which pandemic tribe are you in? Polly Vernon has some suggestions

iven that masculinity has been like, though heaven knows why you would. It’s transitioned from a hearty appreciation for in crisis for as long as anyone can left masculinity in yet more of a pickle. the Hot Priest of Fleabag fame – sexually remember – certainly since the For example: a study published last July transgressive religious figures being the mid-Nineties, which is pretty by Cambridge University Press revealed that defining lustful proposition for times of high much the same thing – how men in the time of Covid are much more decadence (which, we now realise, 2019 was) has it been affected by this other, likely to endorse virus-related conspiracy – through (BBC) Normal People’s quiet and newer, more pressing crisis: by theories than women, on account of their rigorously consensual Connell, and peaking G Covid-19? Has its existentialist greater preponderance towards “learned with (Netflix) Bridgerton’s Duke of Hastings, nature, its issues around nebulous helplessness and conspiratorial thinking” a man whose breathtaking looks are either quantities such as identity, purpose, (University of Delaware professor Joanne tempered by, or enhanced by his behaviour, status, privilege – all triggered, of course, Miller). On a more mundane and domestic depending on who you ask, whether they by decades of evolving feminist politics, the level, a second study, published by the Office define themselves as part of the millennial demise of British industry and blue-collar jobs for National Statistics in early December, generation, and how many cultural “hot – has all that been overshadowed by Covid’s found that while there was a substantial shift takes” they’re inclined to post on social more immediate threat? towards more equal division of childcare and media. You might even conclude that Has working from home integrated home chores between men and women during Hastings’ arrival in our cultural discourse men more completely with their domestic the first lockdown, this was just a blip. By represents some kind of Return of the Rake, situations; blessing them – finally! – with the September and October 2020, the ONS speculate on how that might play out in precious dream of a perfect work/life balance? reported, women were doing 99 per cent 2021, and wonder as to the distinctions Did the Thursday night neighbourhood more unpaid childcare than men; all gains between rakishness and the more modern clap awaken a hitherto unsuspected sense made in Lockdown 1 having been lost. notion of “toxic masculinity”. of community within their (broadening) Meanwhile, in terms of male sexual Meanwhile, off screen a whole new chests? Has a lifestyle limited by lockdown behaviour, a mass, epic loss of libido has raft of male archetypes were born. May alerted them to the possibility of finding been noted through the course of Covid. I introduce you to this lot? joy in the smallest of things – birdsong, One survey reports that the incidence of dog memes, a friendly wave from a passing erectile dysfunction is up by 40 per cent since The Zoom Daddy DPD driver? Has the good-humoured the crisis began. Laxman Narasimhan, the Whom working from home has provided determination of Captain Sir Tom Moore, boss of Reckitt Benckiser, the corporation with the opportunity to demonstrate to the quiet resolve of Marcus Rashford, shown that owns Durex, says condom sales fell his workmates how extremely engaged and them another way to be male, planting dramatically in the UK from March onwards. present he is as a father. Loves nothing better within them an urge to think of others, “Intimate occasions are going down, and than to interrupt online business meetings before themselves? Or have they resorted that is a manifestation of anxiety,” he thus: “Guys! So sorry! We’re gonna have to a classic, stoic, beefed-up, stiff-upper-lipped announced; to which, the rest of us replied, to pause… My youngest is here!” (Child is interpretation of manliness? no shit. A giddily anticipated, original placed reverently on lap, in full view of Zoom.) Based on anecdotal evidence, a lot lockdown-initiated baby boom has proved “Ezekiel, what do you need? What do you of podcasts, a succession of related Whatsapp to be quite the reverse: a baby bust. need, Ezekiel?” (NB: he’s quietly confident his group threads, the ramblings of Twitter, None of which has stopped the establishing female colleagues have found a new respect the December Vogue cover of Harry of some new idealised archetypes on modern for him, on account of it. They have not.) Styles wearing a Gucci dress (an act masculinity in 2020, mind you – pin-ups that US conservative commentator Candace and poster boys, icons of lust in the global Mr Grateful Owens pronounced an “outright attack” pandemic. In real life, we celebrated an Spends a lot of time telling anyone who’ll on “manly men”), and the conclusions of evolved, gentle, determined sort of bloke: listen that All This has given him a new some actual peer-reviewed academic studies… Rashford, Moore, PE hero Joe Wicks, Strictly appreciation for life, and that he’s Grateful I think it’s rather more complicated than champion Bill Bailey, Rishi Sunak for a For All That He’s Got (which, uncoincidentally, that. Masculinity in Covid has become brief period… Yet our fictional dreamboats tends to be Quite A Lot by most people’s an increasingly fraught and fractured represented something rather more standards: bolthole in the Cotswolds, plus business – not unlike humanity overall, heightened, and morally compromised. space for a Peloton in the London gaff,

MIKE RUIZ/LICKERISH really – a multiplication of crises, if you Through the course of Covid so far, we’ve absolute minimum).

The Times Magazine 9

Grew a Moustache in Lockdown 1 Man devoting the aeons of extra free time he’s Kind of as a laugh, you know? And because, acquired to creative pursuits. Has started what the hell? Kept it through Lockdown 2, MAN WHO DEFINITELY referring to himself as “something of a then on, into Tier 3, because he actually really storyteller, actually”; plans to write an opera thinks it suits him. (It doesn’t.) HAD IT LAST FEBRUARY in 2022.

Bearded Man Not that he’s taken a test. Midlife Casual Man Grew it through Lockdown 1, because he Whom WFH has released from a life in suits, wanted everyone to know his mind was Doesn’t need to. He just shirts and general corporate drag, allowing occupied with Bigger Things (it wasn’t). Kept him to discover an aesthetic he never dreamed it, because, he reckons, it makes him look Knows. You know? within his reach before: elevated casual! Once piratical. (It doesn’t.) considered dress-down Friday khakis rather louche; yet has been through more fashion Long-haired Man (otherwise known as phases than his teenage children combined in Needs a Haircut Man) Insists he doesn’t feel the cold, even when you the past ten months. Evolved some very strong Grew it through Lockdown 1, because the point out his knees are quite blue. theories on the respective merits of different barber’s was shut, and he didn’t dare attempt jeans styles which he keeps sharing with his to buzz-cut it himself with a neighbour’s Wahl, Apocalypse Man wife, who doesn’t care. Currently poised to for fear he’d end up looking a touch white Life in a global pandemic just suits him enter a pastel phase. supremacist-y. Kept it, because now he thinks – far better, indeed, than life out of one. it makes him look like D’Artagnan. (It doesn’t.) Longstanding antisocial tendencies multiplied Overdiligent Queuing Guy by a natural instinct to shore up household Practically genuflects on attempting to join ‘Is What It Is’ Man boundaries using corrugated iron given any the daily socially distanced wait for coffee, Hopes to pass off his attitude toward All This opportunity, means he acclimatised to our artisanal bread, etc, asking repeatedly, and in as one of gentle yet enlightened resignation. new circs very early, and with alacrity. While tone of extreme deference, “So sorry… Is this Is, in fact, just depressed. all around him were losing their heads, he set the start of the queue? So sorry… is this the about home brewing his own hand sanitiser start of the queue?” of whoever’s nearest. Aggressive Public Workout Man in numbered batches, according to a family Started taking his own dumbbells to the recipe passed down through generations. Has I Just Got a New Puppy Man local park the very moment the gyms closed been known to say, “Ultimately, if you’re going Carries it around, for all the world to see. again, so that he might deadlift with terrifying to make it, you’ve got to be prepared to kill a intensity and indecent, audible grunting, man,” in such a way that no one was sure if he Crafting Man thus scaring legions of passing dog walkers. was joking. Often found whittling. Corona’s response to DIY Dude. Got into Posted inquiry as to where one might acquire crochet because he found it was the only a tractor tyre for the purpose of more public QAnon Dad thing that settled his anxious, fidgeting hands parkland hefting about on his neighbourhood Baby Boomer of previously mild-mannered and frazzled mind, and now? There’s no online community, nextdoor.co.uk. Takes the disposition, who fell down a Facebook rabbit stopping him! Cites his muses as Instagram whole thing incredibly seriously. hole some time last May, only to emerge, fully sensation @thecraftygentleman, Angel from Not to be confused with Strava man, radicalised by conspiracy theorists and Covid Escape to the Chateau and the entire team on Peloton man, Nouveau Cyclist or… denial. Would have taken part in an anti- The Repair Shop. lockdown rally, having made his own IT’S A Free Swimmer Dude HOAX placard, had his wife not hidden his Middle-Management Exec, Reborn Extremely smug about being in the tiny car keys. Was formally booted out of the Got laid off after his company restructured, minority of people who can practise their family Whatsapp group following malicious early Covid doors; found work as a delivery chosen fitness discipline even in Tier 4. Takes use of the sheep emoji. Has some strange driver, has never been happier. particular pride in not wearing a wetsuit when ideas about child-trafficking tunnels beneath he swims the lakes, rivers, canals of Britain Buckingham Palace, cheese pizza and Kanye Political Correctness in the Time of Corona Man – being really, really unnecessarily cold is all West, of whom he hadn’t even heard a year Had a massive argument with his wife when part of the Thing, you see – and airily telling ago. (Named for QAnon, the most peculiar he caught her attempting to hide discarded everyone he subsequently meets that he and pervasive conspiracist of them all.) Amazon packaging in the recycling – after “did, like 4.1, 4.0?” that morning, by which they’d both officially sworn off it – and he means degrees Celsius. Does not like it Got Completely Obsessed by the US Election Man another when he said he thought she should if you say, “I don’t see what’s ‘free’ about it? Ended up so frazzled, he had to make an stop watching Harlots on iPlayer because It’s just swimming, isn’t it?” or “So when I go extremely complex dish from the latest it romanticised/diminished the harsh yet for a dip in the Med on my summer hols, is Ottolenghi cookbook to calm down. righteous reality of the sex worker’s lived that free swimming, too?”, even though both experience. Says he “really doesn’t see why are clearly good points. The Corporate Stooge, Released! ‘woke’ should be a bad word” a lot. Is terribly Spent his life, pre-Covid, in interminable confused about Piers Morgan, whom people Wears Shorts All The Time Man boardroom meetings, or on planes, flying seem to like now, after all? Completely lost the habit of a full trouser to international interminable boardroom circa April 2020 – lockdown, video calls meetings. Now all that is quite out of the Man Seriously Considering Keeping Chickens and a general falling of standards rendering question, and it turns out he can do pretty His wife has expressly forbidden it, on the them somewhat obsolete – and can’t really much everything he needs to do work-wise grounds chickens are merely the “gateway remember why he ever bothered now. from the confines of his own spare room, he’s to a goat”. n

The Times Magazine 11 SHE ACTS. SHE WRITES. SHE PRODUCES. SHE DIRECTS.

She may be familiar from The Crown and Call The Midwife, but Emerald Fennell is also an acclaimed writer and director. Now everybody’s raving about her new film, Promising Young Woman. Takes one to know one… By Carina Chocano

Emerald Fennell, 35 WHY EVERYONE’S IN A SPIN ABOUT EMERALD FENNELL he germ of the idea for Promising Fennell (centre) on set with Carey Mulligan and Laverne Young Woman first lodged itself Cox and, opposite, Mulligan with Bo Burnham in the film in Emerald Fennell’s mind six or seven years ago, at a dinner party she and her housemates were throwing for some old college friends in London. Everyone was T sitting around the kitchen table, eating pasta, when one woman happened to mention a creepy encounter she’d had with a guy on the Tube on her way over. The men at the table were shocked. The women were shocked that the men were shocked. What world did they live in? Apparently not one filled with creeps who follow you home, or grope you on public transport, or catcall you and turn nasty when you ignore them. As women regaled the table with one gruesome story after another, gleefully besting one another’s floridly crappy experiences, the men were shocked by the relentlessness of it all, and by the gallows humour and resignation in the women’s response. “They were just staggered,” Fennell tells me when we meet. “And these were just the milder things.” One man said he grew up thinking everything was fine, and was just now realising it was only fine for him. The experience was an eye-opener for Fennell as well – “Their surprise was so interesting.” She suspected men would not be so unaware of women’s experiences if women weren’t culturally shamed into “laughing off” ‘I PLAY A CHAIN-SMOKING POSHO MAKING or “being cool with” their trauma – helping to create a narrative in which everything really CUTTING REMARKS. IT’S NOT A STRETCH’ was mostly fine, and bad things only happened occasionally, to girls who probably did something to deserve it. What made this to have sex with her. Then things take an striking was not the actual events the women unexpected turn. were describing, which were too quotidian to Fennell started writing after thinking over be horrifying; it was seeing how readily the all the conversations she’d participated in culture normalised this stuff, making women about alcohol and consent – all the rollicking feel uncomfortable or embarrassed for talking stories men told about hitting on drunk about it honestly. women, or getting them drunk to “loosen The film that emerged from this realisation, them up”. None of this was taboo when she Promising Young Woman, is 35-year-old was younger. “It was all completely normalised Fennell’s debut as a director – a ruthless, by all the American ‘raunch era’ films and TV pitch-black story of revenge set in an off-kilter, that everyone watched. Drinking was part fairytale world. Carey Mulligan plays Cassie, of seduction culture – and if people couldn’t a young woman who dropped out of medical remember things, it was often met with an school after a traumatic incident the film does eye roll.” Fennell questioned that logic. If not initially reveal. At 30, Cassie still lives with having sex with a girl who was blackout drunk her parents and works as a barista in a coffee was nothing to feel bad about, then a man shop. But her real mission in life, which wouldn’t feel guilty if she turned out not to be she pursues with singular dedication, is to drunk, would he? It made her wonder. “What confront people who think of themselves if I went to a nightclub and pretended to be as blameless with the truth about their really, really drunk, and somebody took me behaviour. Every week she dresses up for a home, and then just as they were removing night out, sometimes in business suits, other my pants, I revealed I wasn’t drunk?” An times in more revealing outfits. She goes to image formed in her mind of a woman sitting bars and pretends to be blackout drunk. up in bed, suddenly sober, and asking, “What Invariably, a man comes to her rescue. are you doing?” She later described this very Fennell as Camilla Parker Bowles in The Crown

PREVIOUS SPREAD: DIANA GOMEZ/CONTOUR BY GETTY. THIS SPREAD: FOCUS FEATURES/SPLASH NEWS, FOCUS FEATURES/AP, NETFLIX/SHUTTERSTOCK FEATURES/AP, NEWS, FOCUS FEATURES/SPLASH THIS SPREAD: FOCUS GETTY. BY PREVIOUS SPREAD: DIANA GOMEZ/CONTOUR Invariably, he takes her home and tries scenario to a producer. “I said, ‘And then she

14 The Times Magazine met. Not just in her work and her appearance, but in her spirit, how she speaks, how she carries herself.” Fennell is highly attuned to presentation. When I comment on the brilliance of Nancy Steiner’s costume design for her film, she talks about the ways women know how to use clothes, hair, make-up and voice to hide their anger and trauma. “There are lots of people who hide it by putting on really accessible, really sweet, really unthreatening… Oh!” She stops. “I just realised I’m wearing an enormous jumper.” Tonally, there is a similar tension at play in Fennell’s movie. Her work tends to feel, in general, like an enormous, fuzzy pink jumper wrapped around a dagger. As one of the film’s producers tells me, “Emerald would describe this as ‘poison popcorn’, which I think is a great term for it.” Fennell may be better known as an actor and writer than as a director, especially given her role in The Crown in which she plays Camilla Parker Bowles, a character with an upbringing she’s familiar with – “I’m basically playing a chain-smoking posho standing in a corner making cutting remarks,” she says. “So it’s not a stretch” – who finds herself cast as the villain in a fairytale, which, in reality, was anything but. “I was drawn to Camilla because she struck me as a normal person sucked into a completely extraordinary circumstance,” sits up and she’s not drunk!’ And he went, got a rapport with a woman, which I think Fennell says. This comes across in her ‘Holy [expletive], she’s a psycho!’ ” happens a lot. It’s just that he hasn’t noticed performance, which hovers between This was the reaction she’d hoped for. “The that she’s not said a word.” The moment amusement and disbelief. reason it feels so uncomfortable is because Cassie reveals that she is conscious of what The time period in the latest series of The the person who’s doing it knows it’s wrong. is happening is, for that person, the ultimate Crown roughly corresponds to the years just That’s why they freak out. Everybody thinks threat: she forces them to confront themselves. before Fennell was born, in 1985. She grew up of themselves as a good person – so what “Isn’t that the worst thing?” Fennell says, in Chelsea, in a flat that was eventually joined happens when someone comes along and laughing. While pitching the movie, she would to another to form a house. Her father is the shows you that you’re not?” joke that most people would rather be shot in celebrity jeweller Theo Fennell, known for his With her long, wavy blonde hair and the knee than be shown who they really are. intricate, often dark and funny one-of-a-kind flouncy dresses, Cassie looks like a rom-com “That’s our worst nightmare. It’s what makes pieces, such as “opening rings” that hinge back heroine, or like the good girl in a film noir, but Cassie frightening – much more frightening to reveal magical, fairytale worlds (a Mole she radiates white-hot rage, and not even the than a knife-wielding maniac. Much more and Toad piece inspired by The Wind in the stifling artificiality of her parents’ house, with devastating really.” Willows; the Colosseum with a dead gladiator its pink wall-to-wall carpeting and passive- I meet Fennell in the library of the Soho in it). Her mother, Louise, worked in fashion aggressive suburban rococo furniture, can Hotel in London – a cosy, faux-bookish and as a photographers’ agent before writing, smother it. From the film’s opening image setting where, moments before she joins in her mid-fifties, her first book, a satire of – a hilarious, slow-motion sequence of paunchy, me, a man at a nearby table loudly and celebrity called Dead Rich. Emerald’s sister, khaki-clad office guys on a dancefloor, graphically debriefs two others on some Coco, is a fashion designer. Sirs Elton John gyrating and slapping their own backsides torture instruments he’s recently had the and Andrew Lloyd Webber, at whose offices – Promising Young Woman subtly skewers chance to inspect. Fennell arrives two minutes we would meet for a second time, are friends gender conventions and double standards, late, in jeans and an oversized, fuzzy bright of the family. and as the movie progresses we start to piece pink sweater, apologising profusely. She looks Fennell was educated at Marlborough together what is happening: Cassie is trying to as if she could have stepped directly off the College (the public school that the Duchess redress an injustice that was swept under the set of her movie, in which she has a cameo of Cambridge also attended) and studied carpet, by not allowing anyone to forget. as a video blogger giving a “Blow Job Lips English at Oxford, where she performed in Fennell has been scrupulous about crafting Make-up Tutorial”. plays and was spotted by an agent. She the mechanics of Cassie’s revenge. “She Fennell herself is compulsively, hilariously auditioned for what she thought would be a doesn’t entrap anyone. She never says yes; self-effacing. Her good friend Phoebe Waller- one-episode role in Call the Midwife, but her she never says no. She just exists. She says, Bridge, of Fleabag fame, whom she first character, Nurse Patsy – a redheaded lesbian ‘I’ve lost my phone,’ and then they do all the met on the set of the film Albert Nobbs, with a blunt demeanour and a traumatic talking.” What you see “is a man thinking he’s calls her “the most stylish person I’ve ever past – remained on the show for four series.

The Times Magazine 15 In between those series, Fennell wrote books, Fennell as Nurse Patsy Mount in Call The Midwife, 2017 to be a kindly citizen?” she laughs. “I just one for each hiatus: two children’s stories set thought, that’s it. That’s what it’s like. That’s at a creepy boarding school, and one adult what it’s like to be an angry, frightened, mean novel, Monsters, a black comedy about two woman.” Years later, she included it in a short kids who are delighted to find a dead body film, Careful How You Go, which consists of on the beach. three vignettes depicting three moments She works, says Phoebe Waller-Bridge, “like of psychological violence and recreational a bloody Trojan. She’s been working on about sadism. “I guess she’s my muse,” Fennell says. ten projects at once since the day I met her.” “That cruel, cruel woman.” She has been known to work on writing In the past five years or so, there’s been an projects even after 14-hour days on television explosion of dark, uncontained, shockingly sets as an actress. She shot Promising Young human female characters. There’s a sense, Woman over 23 days in Los Angeles. After Fennell tells me, that the types of stories she Waller-Bridge’s departure as the showrunner wants to tell are “new” or of the moment in of Killing Eve, Fennell joined the writing film and television, but she believes they have staff for the second series and, after a few always existed. They’ve just been walled in, months, was promoted to head writer and ‘THE MADWOMAN closed off, “like those anchorites [medieval co-showrunner, eventually winning Emmy ascetics] who used to build themselves into and Golden Globe nominations for her work. IN THE ATTIC, THE the walls of churches and see insane, terrifying This prodigious output would be visions and write about them”. What is fresh remarkable even if she weren’t just 35 and PERVERTED MAID is that they are appearing in films and on the mother of a baby, born in 2019, with her – I LOVE THAT STUFF’ television. Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag, Michaela partner, film and advertising director Chris Coel’s I May Destroy You, Pamela Adlon’s Vernon. When we meet, she is also writing Better Things, Lucy Prebble and Billie Piper’s the book for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical I Hate Suzie – this is an emergent mini-canon Cinderella, expected to have its premiere in of tales from the other side, from behind the May. When Lloyd Webber first approached veil of decorum. her for the project she thought: “Cinderella? “We’re only just getting to the stage, There’s not really much one can do.” Then some of us, to tell them,” Fennell says. “I feel she thought: what if Cinderella were a like there’s a backlog of stuff.” They aren’t normal person who was forced to live in a new stories so much as alternative ones – fairytale world? We’re used to the story of subversions of the official story, secret histories, the girl who gets rescued, but what if the gnostic texts. “They’re the underworld.” transformation is the worst thing that ever Fennell tells a story about visiting the happened to her? She pictured a woman who White Cube gallery in London, where she didn’t mind being who she was – “and then, became enraptured by “a very weird sculpture suddenly, they’ve been made to mind”. Her of a woman having sex with a huge tentacled Cinderella is the story of a real girl in an creature, or being murdered by it, or extraordinary world that expects her to something”. She remarked to a gallery annihilate herself to meet its demands. assistant how much she liked it. He told Fennell grew up reading stories of her there had been mixed reactions to it beautiful cheerleaders, of gorgeous, glowing – “But do you know who loves it? Women.” girls. But her real loves were Nancy Drew As Fennell observes, it’s much more books, Shirley Jackson, Patricia Highsmith, comfortable to imagine women are sweet and Daphne du Maurier and the Brontës. (“The happy than face the fear they might want to Brontës! The greatest!” she writes to me later. hurt you. Cinema is full of stoic, gun-toting, “All of them – except Branwell, obviously.”) With her father, celebrity jeweller Theo Fennell “empowered” female avengers, but, “That’s not “All the stuff that I love – all the Victorian how it works when women are angry and female novelists, the perverted domestic, the Fennell was a teenager, she was at a cash upset and traumatised,” she says. Cassie’s madwoman in the attic – all that stuff, in a machine, wearing a crop top that exposed refusal to forget is more threatening: a way, is what I would love to be able to do,” her pierced navel, and noticed an elegant, constant, unendurable rebuke to those around she says. Recently she’s been reading Hilary well-dressed woman hovering uncomfortably her. “It was important that there was another Mantel, whose work she finds can be “very nearby. Finally the woman spoke to her. path for her,” Fennell says. “And that we see visceral and very feminine, horrifying in a “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I didn’t know how smooth and soft and well-lit that path is, way I’ve never experienced”. whether to tell you or not, but you’re going versus the other one, which is so bleak.” Literature, she says, is full of fascinating, to die of stomach cancer before you’re 30.” After watching Promising Young Woman, frightening women, “but when it comes to “I said, ‘What?’ ” Fennell remembers. “And Fennell noticed that a male friend of hers television and film – I suppose because our she said, ‘I just thought you should know.’ looked upset. “I said, ‘Are you all right?’ And preoccupation with the women in those media Then she walked away.” he said, ‘You’ve been watching everyone.’ is still based on the way they look – we don’t Fennell was stunned, but the casual And I was like, ‘Yeah.’ I don’t want to be see those characters so much. These kind of savagery of the gesture – the subtle, cruel. I want to be honest.” She paused. weird old ladies or pervs or voyeurs. We don’t underhanded violence of it – impressed her. “Let’s talk about it.” n see female losers at all.” To this day, she thinks of it every time she has

BBC, GETTY IMAGES. FIRST PUBLISHED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES PUBLISHED IN THE NEW YORK FIRST GETTY IMAGES. BBC, One day in the early Noughties, when a stomach ache. “Isn’t it so clever to pretend Promising Young Woman is out this spring

16 The Times Magazine

‘GROWING UP, I WAS FED THE IDEA I WAS A NOVEL SOCIAL EXPERIMENT’ The Empire and me By Sathnam Sanghera

Britain’s imperial past was a taboo subject when he was a child in Wolverhampton. Now, in his brilliant new book, the Times writer argues that if we are to tackle society’s inequalities, we need to understand the controversial legacy of the British Empire – and why it still matters

PORTRAIT Jude Edginton Sathnam Sanghera photographed at Masala Zone restaurant in Covent Garden, London am not a particular fan of the British “shampooing”, which nowadays might be seaside. I don’t need to work on my dubbed a kind of Turkish bath, and that did tan, I can barely swim, I grew up in so well that even kings and princes partook. the beach-free West Midlands and Mahomed ended up with a royal warrant. my heritage can be traced back in Though for me the single most remarkable its entirety to the landlocked state thing about Mahomed, the reason I am here of Punjab. Frankly, the kindest thing with a bunch of petrol station flowers that end I I can bring myself to say about Brighton up being blown back into my face when it turns on this bitter afternoon is that, if you out his grave is behind a locked wire fence, close your eyes, the sea sounds a little is that he was, like many thousands of others, like the M6 on a busy day – a sound that, a brown man from the Empire influencing having grown up near junction 10, I will national life in the British Isles hundreds always regard as comforting. of years ago. And he thereby demonstrates This particular part of Brighton doesn’t a simple but profound fact about Britain: do much for my morale either: I’m at the it is a multicultural, racially diverse society graveyard at St Nicholas Church, located because it once had a multicultural, racially in one of the oldest parts of the city, its diverse empire. Or as the Sri Lankan writer cornerstone dating from the Saxon period. Ambalavaner Sivanandan once famously put Though the grave I have come to lay flowers it, “We are here because you were there.” at is not as ancient, belonging to one Dean This was not the most challenging Mahomed, who lived between 1759 and 1851 conclusion I reached in the more than two and is a figure so fascinating that I spent a years of work that went into researching and significant chunk of time while writing my writing Empireland. Throwing myself into a new book, Empireland: How Imperialism Has topic that has become a veritable industrial Shaped Modern Britain, wondering whether oven of hot potatoes (empire is yet another of I should instead turn it into a novel about him. those topics, alongside trans rights, Brexit and How was he remarkable? Well, for one the merits of Dyson vacuum cleaners over thing he was, as the title of a biography Henrys, that has become a locus of tension conveys, The First Indian Author in English. in the culture wars), and tackling a bunch of Centuries before Salman Rushdie got cracking questions that have become urgent as a result on Midnight’s Children, Mahomed was, in the of the Black Lives Matter movement (but late 18th century and at the age of 34, taking that don’t seem to have progressed beyond the out a series of adverts proposing to publish a niche subject of statues), my other chapters book about his life called The Travels of Dean were more intellectually and emotionally Mahomet (as he was also known). The book taxing. They included the challenge of trying conveyed how in 1769, while still a child on to work out how much of our wealth comes the sub-continent, Mahomed plumped for from the Empire, how the wilful white MY PARENTS NEVER PUT working for the East India Company’s Bengal supremacy of the 19th-century Empire informs Army as a camp follower. How as a subaltern modern-day racism (and also inadvertently THEIR SUITCASES AWAY, he was taken under the wing of one Godfrey created a tradition of anti-racism), what we Baker, who became his patron. How Baker should do about all the imperial artefacts in IN CASE THEY HAD TO GO persuaded Mahomed to accompany him back our museums, how our history of global BACK TO INDIA ONE DAY to Ireland, where the young Bengali found invasion continues to shape the way we see himself, among other things, working for the the world, and how our imperial history Anglo-Irish elite as a manager. inspires a sense of exceptionalism, which Another remarkable thing about the man: results in dysfunctional politics. more than 100 years before the British were But understanding the imperial origins of being cautioned against the racial degeneration our multiculturalism was the most profound that would come with relationships with revelation for me personally, because it Muslim men, even longer before I was making transformed my own sense of place in an almighty fuss in my memoir agonising Britain and exposed how little we collectively about defying my family’s expectations to understand about the British Empire. Let’s marry a good Sikh girl, Mahomed was just face it, Britain has long struggled to accept going ahead and doing it. In 1786, in his mid- the imperial explanation for its racial diversity. twenties, the year his Anglo-Irish patron died, The idea that black and brown people are Mahomed eloped with, and made a successful aliens who arrived without permission, marriage with, an Irish teenager, Jane Daly. and with no link to Britain, to abuse British There were other triumphs. In London in hospitality, has been the defining political 1810, Mahomed opened the first curry house narrative of my lifetime. It was famously in Britain, where he offered a range of meat propounded by Enoch Powell, an MP for my and vegetable dishes, garnished in spices home town, who regularly called for the served with rice. Later he moved to Brighton repatriation of immigrants, and taken up with his family and set up as a bathhouse by the far-right groups who were keen Sathnam with his mother, Surjit, in Wolverhampton, 2017

GETTY IMAGES, ANDREW FOX/GUARDIAN/EYEVINE GETTY IMAGES, keeper, flogging an Indian service dubbed to etch graffiti onto our Wolverhampton

20 The Times Magazine Clockwise from left: Ugandan Asian refugees arriving at Stansted in September 1972; Sikh children, London, 1955; Sikhs concreting their front garden in Leeds, 1971; Enoch Powell speaking in Islington, north London, 1969

homes telling us to “F*** off home”. (One of were entitled to call dependants to join them, world wars, for example, but I don’t recall it my earliest childhood memories is hiding, with and they essentially corroborated Powell’s once being mentioned that tens of thousands tens of other Sikh families, in the local temple, politics with their behaviour: never packing of brown people from across the Empire were as far-right gangs terrorised Wolverhampton.) away the suitcases they had arrived with, fighting for Britain and that the Empire made It continued being spread by a new resisting getting British passports in case they great financial contributions too. And while generation of politicians keen to paint had to go back to India, and telling me that you we studied the Irish potato famine, no one brown immigrants as spongers and has found voted Labour if you wanted brown immigrants cared to illustrate the tragedy by comparison expression in the Windrush scandal, which saw to stay and Conservative if you wanted to devastating famines in India. British subjects who had arrived before 1973, immigrants to go “home”. My education Indeed, the millions of words I’ve since in particular those of Caribbean origin, refused taught me nothing about the history that read on the Empire have made me appreciate benefits, legal rights and medical care before would have explained why Wolverhampton that my schooling was at times indirectly facing deportation. And in my adult working was one of the most racially diverse places colonial. I may not, like some immigrants to life it continues to make itself felt in the way in Britain and the only politician I ever Wolverhampton, have grown up believing that I am, as a writer of colour, regularly told to remember visiting my school was Powell’s white people were superior – attitudes that led “go home” on social networks (if you want to successor, Nicholas Budgen, once described one woman migrating to the Black Country pay my train fare to Wolverhampton, I’ll take as “Powell’s vicar on earth” and every bit as from Barbados to express shock at the sight of up the offer), in being referred to as a “second- anti-immigrant as the man he replaced. white folks sweeping the street. (“We always generation immigrant” (how can you be any At Wolverhampton Grammar School and put the white folks up on a pedestal. We were sort of “immigrant” if you were born here?), and Cambridge I supposedly had one of the finest taught to believe they were better than us.”) in the routine accusation that I am ungrateful if educations available, but when it comes to I may have had a different, authentic, I criticise any aspect of my home nation (I was British history it left me with little more than Punjabi view of India presented to me by my born here and reserve the right to be as critical a superficial knowledge of the world wars, Indian family. And no one who taught me of my beloved nation as my white colleagues). the Tudors and the Peasants’ Revolt. In fact, ever disparaged non-western culture outright In fact, the narrative that brown people looking back, it’s almost as if teachers went in the way that Hugh Trevor-Roper, Regius imposed themselves on Britain is so powerful out of their way to avoid telling us about professor of modern history at Oxford, did that I absorbed it myself, as a young brown the British Empire, which went on for many in a lecture on BBC radio in 1963 when he Briton. My parents never really explained centuries and was not only, arguably, the declared, “Perhaps, in the future, there will why they came here beyond the fact that my biggest thing that ever happened to this nation be some African history to teach… At present grandparents had already arrived and they but to human civilisation too. We explored both there is none: there is only the history of

The Times Magazine 21 the Europeans in Africa.” But my education taught me to value western history, western MY EDUCATION ENCOURAGED ME TO VIEW MY OWN literary forms (such as the novel and the memoir) and western geopolitical forms INDIAN HERITAGE THROUGH PATRONISING WESTERN EYES (the nation state) above their non-western counterparts, and encouraged me to view India Company from ports such as Singapore, But actually, even the point that we were my own Indian heritage through patronising Calcutta and Shanghai, the men were invited, my grandfather, father and uncles western eyes. Through its assumptions and considered to be harder working and cleaner- being among those who helped rebuild omissions, it was narrow and encouraged living – and less expensive – than British sailors. postwar Britain with 60-hour weeks of hard me to belittle most non-western thought, Another inadvertent new community, a labour in the foundries of the Black Country, history and literary forms as irrational and by-product of empire, were ayahs – hundreds is just part of the story. As Robert Winder illogical, including the heritage that my of Indian (and Chinese) women who were explains in Bloody Foreigners, the fact is that parents attempted to inculcate in me through transported to Britain to provide childcare and black and Asian immigrants didn’t always have bedtime stories, Bollywood movies and domestic help for well-off white families on jobs to come to: the arrivals on the Windrush weekend Punjabi language lessons. their long voyage home and on their arrival in were nothing to do with Britain’s recruitment It turns out I’m not untypical in my Britain often found themselves stranded, with drive. Rather, the troopship docked at ignorance. I’ve met writers with Oxbridge no means of getting home. Empire is why, in Kingston, Jamaica, to transport British degrees in history who tell me they were the Seventies, as my siblings grew up, Britain servicemen home, and because it was only taught almost nothing about Britain’s empire, wrestled with the question of what to do half full for the journey, the skipper put out while a campaign group called Impact of about the 60,000 Ugandan Asians expelled a call for more passengers, at £28 a berth. Omission pushing for the mandatory teaching by President Idi Amin and what to do about Hundreds set sail for a new, unspecific life in of empire in schools has been conducting an the 23,000 Kenyan Asians driven out due to an unknown country. In short, some black and ongoing online survey and (as of July 2020) trading bans on Asian citizens. Asian people were simply allowed to come to found that while 86 per cent of people were Empire is why thousands of Somalis, Britain – as was their legal right at the time as taught about the Tudors at schools and 72 per Palestinians, Kurds, Iraqis, Tanzanians and British citizens. In 1948 parliament passed the cent about the Battle of Hastings, just 37 per Nigerians settled here and empire is largely Nationality Act, which made law what had cent were taught about transatlantic slavery why, according to the 2011 census, people from been true for decades, that anyone born in and only 8 per cent learnt about the British Asian ethnic groups make up 7.5 per cent of the Empire had the rights of a British citizen. colonisation of Africa. the population, black ethnic groups make up So it’s not only true that many came to fill Perhaps it was always thus. A 1948 survey 3.3 per cent, why, according to a study from labour shortages, and helped rebuild Britain found that three quarters of people were the University of Manchester, white Britons after the war, but many also came because unaware of the distinction between a colony are now a minority in Leicester, Luton and centuries of imperialism had tied them to and a dominion, that nearly half could not name Slough and why, according to some estimates, Britain and made them citizens. The ties were a single colony, and that 3 per cent believed ethnic minorities could account for almost deep – so deep in the case of Sikhs that they the United States was still part of the Empire. a third of the population by 2050. largely took the side of the colonisers during One person cited “Lincolnshire” as a colony. I am as much evidence of the fact that the Uprising of 1857 in India even as other This amnesia has all sorts of consequences. Britain once had an empire as the controversial ethnic groups rebelled, fought in large It means that that sacrifice of tens of thousands statue of Clive of India in Whitehall, and it’s numbers for Britain in both world wars and of imperial troops of colour in both world wars incredible I didn’t appreciate this until my made the most of opportunities for relocation gets erased, with the late comedian Bernard forties. A survey of friends suggests that other within the Empire, whether it was travelling en Manning able to go on The Mrs Merton Show “second-generation immigrants” didn’t grow up masse to build a railway in East Africa, or in in 1998 and declare, “There were no Pakis at quite so clueless. When I recently asked them smaller numbers to work as pedlars in Britain Dunkirk” (he was not wrong in the literal on Facebook to tell me why their parents came in the early 20th century, or in larger numbers sense: they were Indians at the time) and the to Britain, they generally responded with a again to staff British factories in the Sixties and actor Laurence Fox being given endless version of the same thing: “To do the jobs no Seventies. And if we acknowledged this simple airtime when he complained about the one else wanted or was around to do.” And this fact it would transform conversations about inclusion of a British Sikh soldier in the is true. Following the Second World War, it multiculturalism, which is forever deemed to First World War movie 1917. It results in the became clear that restarting the British economy be in a state of crisis. What if we accepted that, habitual accusation that any commentary would need a surge of overseas labour, and word ultimately, multiculturalism is, in the words of on the darker aspects of the British Empire is quickly spread to the Caribbean, India and the Jamaican poet, actor and broadcaster Louise “anti-British”. It’s incredible that it even needs beyond. In April 1947, the Ministry of Labour Bennett-Coverley, just “colonizin… in reverse”? to be said, but to interrogate the dark episodes announced that 4,000 overseas workers a week The “debate” would be instantly transformed. of the Empire is not to criticise Britain, any would be introduced to Britain. Soon, the newly As it happens, I’m no fanatical supporter of more than discussing kamikaze pilots of the formed NHS, as well as companies such as pure multiculturalism. I don’t think communities Second World War is anti-Japanese or talking London Transport, would advertise for workers should be left alone to become isolated and about America’s Civil War is anti-American. in former imperial territories, sometimes myopic. I know from my family’s experience But the most profound consequence of offering loans for travel fares. The minister of that the people who suffer most if they don’t all this forgetting is that it prevents us from health at this time, driving the NHS overseas integrate, if they don’t learn English, if they understanding that we are a multicultural recruitment scheme? None other than Enoch live in ghettos, if they insist on practices such society for a reason, and have been so for Powell. Health workers in Britain’s former as FGM and forced marriages, are immigrants centuries. Dean Mahomed was no exception. empire answered this appeal to such a themselves. Too much of my energy as a young Around the same time, London was teeming degree that in 2003 it was claimed that adult was expended on getting my family to with Asian seamen, thanks to empire: in the Rhondda Valley in Wales nearly three accept that I wanted to be more British, to

ALAMY known as lascars and recruited by the East quarters of all GPs had south Asian origins. change more quickly than they were. But if

22 The Times Magazine Early 19th-century entrepreneur Dean Mahomed a newspaper revealing in 1968 that there was term during the final year of my literature not one single “coloured worker” in the West degree, to study fiction published after 1970), Midlands police force or working as a clerk in through the consistent whiteness of museum a bank or among the 1,000 members of staff and art gallery exhibitions (I was so excited in the department store Beatties. In India when the V&A did an exhibition on the Sikhs Britons talked about Indians living in “Black in 1999 that I visited three times and bought Town” or the “native quarter”, reflecting a the book and poster), and through our absence widespread attitude across the Empire that the in local history books. (As the academic Shirin ruling race should not mix with “darkies”. Hirsch puts it, “In nostalgic histories such as That’s an attitude that immigrants of my Wolverhampton Memories the photographs parents’ generation found themselves facing in show only white residents… The absence of Wolverhampton when residents of Wordsworth black people is neither noted nor explained.”) Avenue and Beverley Crescent (a few hundred It would have blown my mind as a student, yards from where I spent my teenage years) altered my sense of belonging and place, formed a residents’ association to exclude to learn that the first known record of an black syndicates from buying houses in their Indian youth being baptised in England was area (1958), and 100 council tenants held an a Bengali boy who was christened “Peter Pope” open-air meeting to protest at a decision to in London in 1616. That a mosque opened in offer a one-bedroom flat to an Indian (1965). Woking in 1899. That Dean Mahomed was Then there was the colour bar which ran serving Englishmen with curry in 1810. That through both imperial society and postwar Taj Stores on Brick Lane in east London Britain like letters through seaside rock. (where I am on the cover) was proffering my community’s integration wasn’t smooth, my In India, European clubs allowed no Indian Asian groceries in 1936. It breaks my heart research for Empireland has taught me that members and Indian servants lived entirely that I never had this knowledge, but I hope lingering imperial attitudes among Brits were separately from their British masters – attitudes I have written a book that fills in the gaps, also to blame. Sikhs faced racist attitudes that that were imported into Wolverhampton to with nuance, for a new generation of Brits. had developed as the British colonised India. various degrees, with a colour bar still operating And I hope that if the complicated history Attitudes which led to Sikhs being described in some working men’s clubs, according to of the British Empire, warts and all, becomes in the Indian pavilion of the 1851 Crystal local historians, as late as 1984. more generally understood, we can stop having Palace Great Exhibition, as lacking “a ray of In the end, however, things have largely repeated crises about race and multiculturalism. intelligence”, and Canon Selwyn Gummer worked out. As the relevant Wikipedia entry If Stephen Lawrence and other victims of and future Conservative minister John Selwyn puts it, British Sikhs are considered one of the racist killings had been seen as truly British, Gummer claiming in a book about emigration best examples “of positive cultural integration might the investigations have been more in 1966 that, “The Sikhs are strangers in in the United Kingdom”. There are Sikhs now thorough? If it was understood that many of a strange land and are intellectually and in the Commons, in the Lords, on TV, in print, the black and Asian medics and NHS workers educationally ill-equipped to deal with the in banks, but the whole process would have who have died in disproportionate numbers complexities of a modern civilisation.” been significantly less agonising if, during my this year of Covid-19 were the children or In fact, my interest in the subject of empire lifetime, Britain had not acted like we were grandchildren of British citizens invited to was sparked when I realised, after making a aliens and interlopers but were here because rebuild Britain after the war, would I still documentary for Channel 4 on the Jallianwala of longstanding historical ties. In the “debate” receive racist messages after reporting on this? Bagh massacre, that the experience of Sikhs about multiculturalism, almost all the pressure It is telling that, in all my research, I came like my parents in 20th-century Wolverhampton is put on immigrant communities, to integrate, across only one article in one newspaper that echoed the experience of Sikhs living under to pass citizenship tests, to learn English and mentioned the imperial connection, and that British rule in India. Both suffered as a result to accept certain national values. But the was The New York Times, which found time of racialised violence, a judge at Birmingham “host” society has responsibilities too. Chief even amid America’s own brutal coronavirus Crown Court complaining in 1973 that “roughing among them, in the case of Britain, it is surely outbreak to report on how doctors who had up of coloureds is almost a hobby in some to acknowledge that brown people are here “moved to Britain from different corners of parts of the Black Country”, and local football because Britain, at best, had close relationships its former empire” faced a “devastating toll”. supporters sporting KKK-style hoods. (I’m a with its colonies for centuries, or because I guess it’s true that sometimes outsiders see fair-weather Wolves supporter now, but when Britain, at worst, violently repressed and us more clearly than we can see ourselves. n I was a child my mother wouldn’t allow us exploited its colonies for centuries. out of the house on match days.) Both faced Instead, I was, like all too many minority Sathnam Sanghera’s Empireland: How routine employment discrimination, Sikhs not ethnic children, fed the idea that we were some Imperialism Has Shaped Modern Britain is being allowed to do anything but the most kind of novel social experiment. A narrative published by Viking on January 28 (£18.99) menial jobs on India’s imperial railways and I can now see was additionally propounded in all sorts of inexplicit ways: through the Read an exclusive extract tomorrow complete absence of ethnic figures in my in The Sunday Times THE FIRST RECORD OF history education (the closest thing we got to anyone with a tan was the Tollund Man), Join us on Thursday, January 28, when AN INDIAN BAPTISED IN through the elision of ethnic figures in my Sathnam Sanghera will be discussing his extended literary education (aside from book Empireland with the Times Radio breakfast ENGLAND WAS A BENGALI Othello and Friday in Robinson Crusoe, a host, Aasmah Mir. brown character didn’t appear in any of my To register, visit mytimesplus.co.uk/events BOY IN LONDON IN 1616 literary studies, until I was allowed, for one

The Times Magazine 23 THE BABY-FACED ASSASSIN

One in six Britons watched 20-year-old Edinburgh student Peter Sawkins become the youngest ever winner of Bake Off. He tells Alex Renton how he did it. Turn overleaf for his delicious new recipes (for good bakers only!)

PHOTOGRAPHS James Glossop Peter Sawkins, 20; photographed at Edinburgh New Town Cookery School, opposite Interview continues on page 36

Eat! BAKERSFOR ONLY! GOOD

Sticky toffee pudding layer cake, page 34

PETER BAKES Delicious desserts and cakes from Bake Off winner Peter Sawkins CRANACHAN (A DODDLE) • 45g butter toast in the oven for about 15 minutes, stirring • 125g rolled oats halfway through, until deeply golden. Serves 4-6 • 45g demerara sugar 2 Whip the cream with the honey and whisky • 1 pinch salt to soft peaks. This is a classic Scottish dessert that could be • 300ml double cream 3 Spoon a layer of raspberries with their quite easily described as Eton mess with a kilt • 3 tbsp clear honey juice into individual glasses or a large serving on. Traditionally made with crowdie – a soft • 4 tbsp whisky dish followed by a layer of the cream, then curd cheese – our family swaps this out for • 300g frozen raspberries (defrosted) the toasted oats. Repeat this layering until the more easily accessible and delicious • Fresh raspberries, for decoration you have reached the top of the glass or whipped double cream. A go-to on our family run out of mixture. Top with fresh raspberries table for Burns Night and St Andrew’s Day, 1 Preheat the oven to 200C/180C fan/Gas 6. for decoration. it’s a dangerously easy dessert to make in Melt the butter. Stir through the oats, sugar relation to its sheer deliciousness. and salt. Spread evenly onto a baking tray and

28 The Times Magazine ST CLEMENT’S TART (EASY) Makes 8 slices

I always struggle to look past a lemon tart on a menu. Zingy and creamy all in one makes for a dessert that I can’t stop eating. The orange and lemon of a St Clement’s cake is a classic combo for good reason and it lends itself well to this form. There are two main methods PETER SAWKINS of making a lemon tart – one uses a set curd in the pastry case, the other is a baked custard. I love both methods and can’t choose which I prefer, so I’ve Eat! Eat! put both in this tart. It makes for a little extra effort, but I think it’s worth it.

For the orange custard filling • 3-4 oranges, zest and juice (100ml juice) • 75g caster sugar • ½ tsp orange extract • 85g double cream • 2 large eggs, beaten • 1 large egg yolk

• 300g sweet shortcrust pastry, blind- baked in a 20cm tart tin (or a large shop-bought sweet pastry case)

For the lemon curd • 3 lemons (zest and 85ml juice) • 3 large eggs • 110g caster sugar • 90g unsalted butter • 1 blood orange and 1 lemon, to decorate (optional)

1 Preheat the oven to 170C/150C fan/ Gas 3½. To make the orange custard, sieve the orange juice into a bowl. Whisk the sugar into the orange juice until dissolved. Lightly whisk through the zest, extract, double cream and beaten eggs and yolk until fully combined. 2 Pour this mixture into a jug, let it settle and skim off the bubbles from the top. 3 Pour the mixture into the blind-baked tart case and bake for about 15 minutes or until the custard has a gentle wobble when agitated. Drop the oven temperature to 120C/100C fan/Gas ½. 4 To make the lemon curd, whisk together the lemon juice, zest, eggs and sugar. Transfer to a pan and cook over a medium heat for 10-15 minutes, stirring frequently. Do not let it boil. 5 Once the mixture is thick, take it off the heat and stir through the butter. Leave to cool slightly before pouring it over the orange custard. Leave the tart PHOTOGRAPHS Romas Foord FOOD STYLIST Henrietta Clancy to set in the fridge before decorating with orange and lemon slices if you like.

The Times Magazine 29

APPLE AND PEAR CRUMBLE SWISS ROLL (CHALLENGING) Makes 8 slices

This recipe goes down very well with my family. The oats add a welcome crunch to what would otherwise be a rather soft, albeit delicious eat. I recommend adjusting the filling to whatever fruit is about to turn in your fridge or is taking up space in old tins in your cupboards. PETER SAWKINS

For the sponge • 4 large eggs • 110g caster sugar, plus 20g for dusting Eat! Eat! • 110g gluten-free (or regular) self-raising flour • ½ tsp ground cinnamon • ¼ tsp ground mixed spice • ¼ tsp ground ginger

For the oat crumble • 20g unsalted butter • 50g gluten-free rolled oats • 20g demerara sugar • Small pinch salt • ¼ tsp ground ginger • ¼ tsp ground cinnamon

For the stewed apples and pears • 1 tin pears • 1 eating apple • 50g light brown sugar • 10g cornflour • ½ tsp ground cinnamon • ½ tsp ground ginger

For the whipped cream • 150ml double cream • 15g icing sugar • ½ tsp ground cinnamon • 1 apple and juice of half a lemon, to decorate

1 Preheat the oven to 200C/180C fan/Gas 6. Line a 13in x 9in Swiss roll tin with nonstick baking paper. In a stand mixer, whisk the eggs with the sugar until very thick and pale. You should be able to write a figure of eight before the mixture sinks back in. 2 Sieve over the flour and spices and fold in using a flexible spatula, keeping in as much air as possible. Pour into the prepared tin and onto a baking tray and bake until golden 8 To assemble the Swiss roll, spread a thin bake in the oven for 8-10 minutes or until for about 15 minutes, stirring halfway. layer of the stewed fruit over the sponge. lightly golden. 5 To make the stewed fruit, drain the pears, Cover this with a thin layer of the cream, 3 Cover a sheet of baking paper, slightly larger reserving 85ml juice, and cut into small dice. leaving a little for topping the cake. Sprinkle than the cake, with the additional 20g caster Peel the apple and dice. Add the pear and over an even layer of the oat crumble. sugar. Once the sponge is baked, leave it to apple to a nonstick pan and stir through all 9 Use the baking paper to roll up the Swiss roll, cool for a couple of minutes in the tin. Turn the remaining ingredients. keeping it as tight as possible. Move the roll out onto the sugar-covered baking paper and 6 Bring this mixture up to the boil, reduce the onto your serving plate. Use a sharp knife to use this to roll the sponge into a tight spiral, heat and gently simmer for 15-20 minutes. cut the ends off the cake to reveal the spiral. then unroll and leave to cool. Leave in the fridge to cool. 10 Decorate with any remaining fruit, cream 4 To make the oat crumble, melt the butter 7 Whip the cream to soft peaks with the icing and crumble and thin slices of apple tossed and stir in the remaining ingredients. Spread sugar and cinnamon. in lemon juice to stop them discolouring.

The Times Magazine 31

CHOCOLATE, RASPBERRY AND PISTACHIO CAKE (TRICKY) Makes 10-12 slices

There are only a few elements to this cake, but each plays a key role. The rich dark chocolate cake is well partnered by the raspberry buttercream’s zip, and I think the cake eats exceptionally well as a whole. I can’t imagine many people PETER SAWKINS wouldn’t be delighted to receive this and share it out on their birthday.

For the chocolate cake Eat! Eat! • 110g gluten-free (or regular) plain flour • 50g cocoa powder • ¾ tsp baking powder • ¾ tsp bicarbonate of soda • 175g caster sugar • ½ tsp salt • 1 tsp instant coffee powder • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 1 large egg • 120ml milk • 70ml oil • 75g pistachios, blitzed to a crumb

For the raspberry puree • 250g frozen raspberries • 25g caster sugar

For the Italian meringue buttercream • 240g caster sugar • 3 large egg whites • 210g unsalted butter, softened

1 Preheat the oven to 190C/170C fan/ Gas 5. Grease and base-line 3 x 15cm round tins. Sieve the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and bicarb into a bowl. Add the sugar, salt and coffee powder. Whisk in the vanilla, egg, milk and oil until smooth. Slowly pour in 80ml boiling water, whisking all the time. 2 Pour the batter into the prepared tins. Bake in the oven for 12-15 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. 3 Meanwhile put the raspberries and sugar into a pan and boil for 5-10 minutes or until thickened. Sieve the raspberries into a bowl and discard the seeds. Leave aside to cool. 4 To make the Italian meringue buttercream, put 200g sugar into a pan with 40ml water. Place over a high heat, stirring all the time, until the sugar has dissolved and it begins to boils. Stop stirring and leave on the heat to boil. 5 Meanwhile, whisk the egg whites in a stand mixer. Once fluffy, gradually add in the reserved 40g sugar. 6 Once the sugar syrup reaches

The Times Magazine 33 115-121C, take it off the heat and so it has a flat top to the cake. slowly pour it into the egg whites, Pour the caramel sauce over the whisking at high speed. Continue top and encourage it to drip over whisking until the bowl is barely the edge of the cake. Sprinkle the warm, then gradually whisk in cake with more chopped walnuts. the butter until all combined. 7 Combine 125g buttercream with 125g puree to create a raspberry GINGER AND RHUBARB buttercream. Leave the rest of EMPIRE BISCUITS (TRICKY) the buttercream white. Use the Makes 16 biscuits PETER SAWKINS buttercream at room temperature. 8 To assemble the cake, spread Empire biscuits are a nostalgic a layer of raspberry buttercream bake for me. These were always over the bottom sponge and a strong choice as my sweet treat sprinkle over some pistachio from the local bakers, along with Eat! Eat! crumb. Repeat this with the next our sausage rolls after half-day layer of cake. Place the top layer Fridays at primary school. My dad of sponge upside down so there and I are largely drawn to empire is a clean edge on the top. biscuits by the sweet water icing 9 Dirty-ice the cake by spreading that sits atop. Using cordial instead a thin layer of white icing all of water to make this icing is an around the cake. Leave it to easy way to provide an additional cool in the fridge for about layer of flavour in the bake. 30 minutes. Neatly ice the cake with more white icing. Dot some • 200g unsalted butter, softened reserved raspberry buttercream • 65g caster sugar on the icing and spread with • 60g dark brown sugar a palette knife to create a • 1 large egg, beaten red and white marbled design. • 1 tsp vanilla extract 10 Decorate the cake with any • ½ tsp salt remaining pistachio crumb. • 1 tbsp ginger • 350g plain flour (or gluten-free flour plus ½ tsp xanthan gum) STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING • 150g rhubarb jam LAYER CAKE (TRICKY) • 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda and flour, then stir in the date • 150g icing sugar mixed Makes 12 slices (page 27) • 1 tsp ground cinnamon mixture (including liquid) and with 30ml rhubarb and • 110g unsalted butter, softened 75g chopped walnuts. Split the ginger cordial Sticky toffee pudding is the • 75g caster sugar mixture between the prepared • 10g crystallised stem ginger greatest dessert in the world, so • 150g dark brown sugar tins and bake for 15-20 minutes in making this layer cake I’ve tried • ½ tsp salt until a skewer comes out clean. 1 Preheat the oven to 180C/160C to keep it as true to the classic as • 3 large eggs 3 To make the caramel sauce, fan/Gas 4. Cream the butter with possible. There’s nothing subtle • 260g gluten-free (or regular) in a nonstick pan stir together the sugars until light and fluffy, about this cake – it is completely self-raising flour 75ml water with the sugar over then stir in the egg, vanilla, salt, over the top – but I don’t really • 125g walnuts, chopped a high heat. Once dissolved stop ginger and flour (and xanthan gum care because it’s so delicious. • 300ml double cream whipped stirring and leave to boil. Watch it if using) until it forms a stiff dough. My number one concern any with 1 tsp vanilla extract carefully until it reaches a deep Roll out the dough between two time I have STP in a restaurant is golden colour and smells toasty. sheets of baking paper until about that there is never enough sauce. For the caramel sauce 4 Remove the caramel from the 0.5cm thick. Chill in the fridge for I want each bite of sponge to be • 300g caster sugar heat and stir in the butter. Be at least 20 minutes. saturated in caramelly goodness • 100g unsalted butter careful as it may spit. Return the 2 Cut circles from the dough, and I don’t want to have to pace • 200ml double cream pan to the heat and gently stir in place on baking trays and bake my sauce consumption from the • Large pinch salt the cream. Once all added and it for 10-13 minutes or until lightly start. This recipe should ensure is bubbling again, remove from browning around the edges. the toffee well doesn’t run dry. 1 Preheat the oven to 190C/170C the heat, transfer into a separate 3 Once cooled, take half of the However, the recipe does scale fan/Gas 5. Grease and base-line container and stir through the salt. biscuits, dip the top of them into well and I encourage you to use 4 x 18cm round sandwich tins. The sauce will thicken as it cools. the icing, running your finger your judgment when deciding Put the chopped dates in a bowl 5 To assemble the cake, level off around the edge of the biscuits to whether this is in fact sufficient with the vanilla, coffee, bicarb the tops of the sponges. Spread make a clean edge. Place a piece of sauce volume. and cinnamon. Pour over over a layer of whipped cream, ginger in the centre of the biscuit. 250ml boiling water and leave drizzle some cooled caramel sauce 4 Take an uniced biscuit, flip For the cakes to soak for at least 30 minutes. over and sprinkle over some of it upside down and spread a • 260g dates, chopped 2 Cream together the softened the remaining 50g walnuts. teaspoon of jam on the flat side. • 2 tsp vanilla extract butter with the sugars and salt Repeat this until the top layer. Sandwich together with an iced • 2 tsp instant coffee powder until light. Mix through the eggs 6 Flip the top layer of sponge biscuit on top. n

34 The Times Magazine

Peter Sawkins Continued from page 25

car brakes hard on the frosty road and the driver leans out. “Hey! Gotta say – you was pure class on the Bake Off!” Peter Sawkins shouts a “Thank you”. He has been getting a lot of that around Edinburgh. Before A lockdown returned, the selfie requests were up to three or more a day. “It’s a bit nuts,” he says. “They’re fans of the show, so they’re nice people, and it puts a smile on your face. But it’s still very odd. People wanting to take a selfie with me! Do you get used to that?” Scotland’s newest celebrity and I are walking in the snow on a cold, golden afternoon on the city’s southern outskirts. He looks pretty much as you’d expect a finance and accountancy undergraduate would: uni sweatshirt, trainers and bobble hat decorated with Christmas puddings. That is pulled low but there’s no Peter Sawkins with Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith. Right: aged five, with his escaping the interest, or the fact that, at 20 older brother, Andrew (right), in 2005 years old, Peter Sawkins is becoming a star. As we trudge through the icy puddles – the trainers are soaked pretty quickly For us, the series felt like a redemption: the be known for being nice than not,” he grins. – other walkers stop to say hello or give a only British summer tradition that did not get In Bake Off’s tense last episode, the closest thumbs-up. This is what being a local hero is cancelled in 2020. It got record viewing figures final seen on the show, Sawkins faced down about: he has lived here all his life and people – one in six Britons watched November’s final the remaining contenders, digital manager know him, from the kirk where his family are – and a larger slice of the youth audience than Laura Adlington and security guard Dave regulars, from the local high school where he any Channel 4 show since Big Brother back Friday. The latter had been brilliantly was head boy. Many have played a part in his in 2006. Peter, of course, was only six years inventive in episode after episode. Sawkins progress to becoming champion on Britain’s old then. The veteran GBBO judge Paul beat him by just a turn of an egg whisk, most popular cookery programme. Neighbours Hollywood visibly winced when Sawkins producing a slightly better custard slice: “the around Balerno are roped in to try out pointed out he had been watching him and baby-faced assassin”, Noel Fielding called him. Sawkins’ creations as he develops them. the show for half his life. It was perfect reality TV – cruel, charming, The recipes he’s publishing in this magazine All this, for the nicest, most squeaky-clean funny, tragic. today have all been road-tested around the young man on TV since Richie Cunningham That last scene was the only time Sawkins village, Sawkins and his brother knocking on in Happy Days. While those around him in ever looked stressed. “It got a bit chaotic,” he doors with samples. He gives me a bag with the Bake Off tent cried, cursed and sweated, agrees. “I think till then I hadn’t really realised three perfect, featherweight choux bunlets we never saw Sawkins do anything more it was a competition. I’d been enjoying it so bulging with coconut ganache. (Sad to say, my uncontrolled than utter a soft “Jeepers much.” He asked the TV crew to remind him family later scarfed the lot before I’d had more creepers!” And, occasionally, blush: a rose- to go on doing that – “It was the last time in than a mouse’s nibble.) water glow across his pale Scottish skin which, the tent. I’d kick myself afterwards if I didn’t Any fan worried about Sawkins’ handling with his teal blue eyes, stirred the baking- enjoy it.” He kept repeating his father’s mantra: of fame should remember the preternatural obsessed nation. That, and a distinct hint of “Have fun and remember it’s only cake.” calm that took him smoothly through the the young Prince William. As Sawkins sweated – “Oh crumbs!” – over stress-marathon of Great British Bake Off in When I asked younger fans of the show a mistake in his Battenberg cookie decoration lockdown. That was ten episodes filmed in what question to put to him, “Is he single?” on the last cake of all, presenter Matt Lucas six weeks, thirty torturous baking tasks that was the first of all. “Yes,” he answers, with a bit was pushing a pretend smartphone in his face. would confound most cooks, the unforgiving of that blush. “But I’m not going any further “You’re going from here back to uni. People scrutiny of Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith, on that.” Does continually being branded nice will come up to you, just filming you on their the tent where the temperature got to 35C. All ever get to him? “My dad says it’s better to mobile phones. Are you ready for it?” while quarantine-bubbled in an Essex hotel So far, Sawkins has hardly dipped a toe in along with 100 others: medics, showrunners the celebrityscape. The end of last year was and technical crew. dominated by revision for exams. He has done Bake Off has always been a psychodrama, EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW, “some fun stuff” – had blue slime poured all a village fête scripted by Agatha Christie over him on CBBC’s Christmas special, done – people do keep disappearing, after all. But IS HE SINGLE? ‘YES,’ some radio. He appeared on Good Morning Lockdown Bake Off looked like a spell trapped America – GBBO is huge there – from his in The Shining’s Overlook Hotel, and it shared student flat after the final was shattered some of the competitors. For Sawkins, HE REPLIES, BLUSHING. broadcast. He has an agent, but has as yet just 19 when filming started, the bubble was done no deals for books or anything else. “a place filled with joy”. He wrote a charming ‘BUT I’M NOT GOING ANY Not even for a set of Le Creuset for the flat. thank-you note to the show’s makers: “That FURTHER ON THAT’ Dozens of cookbooks have emerged from

PAGES 24-25: SHOT AT ENTCS.CO.UK; PERSONALISED STAR MUG, FROM £20.95, EMMABRIDGEWATER.CO.UK; EMMABRIDGEWATER.CO.UK; MUG, FROM £20.95, PERSONALISED STAR ENTCS.CO.UK; AT SHOT 24-25: PAGES OF PETER SAWKINS EDINBURGH. THIS SPREAD: CHANNEL 4, COURTESY BAKERY, CUCKOO’S CAKES, was the best summer of my life, no question!” people crowned outside GBBO’s pointy tent,

36 The Times Magazine development. “All our teens, they were the something about sharing with family and taxi service, me going to play competitive friends, and cooking to feed people, which is badminton and judo, Andrew going to really a lovely thing. A joy.” He pauses. “And swimming and both of us to play football.” I suppose there’s also an element of showing Sawkins started baking at four off, too.” He makes the last sound like an with his mother, Morag – another maths embarrassing vice. graduate, who now works in admissions at Sawkins does get out of the kitchen. He is Edinburgh’s medical school. Their early work not averse to a steak slice from Greggs and was the usual: flapjacks, tray bakes and he does have ordinary young people’s fun, cupcake readymixes. (“A lot of people may be though he’s a “couple of drinks with mates” horrified to hear I liked those,” he says.) By type, he says, rather than an all-night party the time Sawkins was 14, he got to have a say person. Becoming president of the Edinburgh in the design of the kitchen in the family’s University badminton society has been great new house. He gave up the violin for the for his social life. Magimix. “I couldn’t have lost my oven to a Sport is his other love: running in the better person,” Morag said when her son won. Pentland Hills, watching American basketball and following Chelsea football club. In the Bake Off bubble he was given a patch in the WHEN THE BAKE OFF TENT GOT SWEARY, HE WAS NEVER garden for his nightly workouts. “I have to stay physically active or my brain goes to mush: BLEEPED. BUT HE DID SAY, ‘JEEPERS CREEPERS!’ ONCE tons of burpees during lockdown. I loved it when I got back in the gym.” The Sawkinses’ Christianity is understated, and several winners have built careers on their One of the most surprising things about his but clearly important. “It’s a big part of what achievement. Most successful of all has been cooking – to all us ordinary kitchen mayhem- we do and where I come from. It’s grounding, Nadiya Hussain, a columnist in this magazine, makers – is his tidiness, even during the most and it’s where values come from.” What who has published ten books and hosted six hair-raisingly complex bakes. It certainly values does he mean? “Respect is a big one, TV shows since winning the competition in pleased Paul Hollywood, deliverer of stern and acceptance, and the understanding that 2015. With her wit and gentle charm, she and dressing-downs for messiness to other everyone’s your brother and sister. Forgiveness Sawkins have a lot in common. competitors. “I can’t cook without wiping up of people and forgiveness of yourself as well.” But he is planning to take the next steps as I go. I need a clean bench and a clear Plus no swearing on TV? “Yes, that’s quite slowly. John, his father, deputy principal of space.” It is a habit he learnt from his father, easy,” he laughs. The Bake Off tent got pretty Edinburgh’s Heriot Watt University, has given his regular co-chef: Peter and his mother have sweary when the sweat was flowing, but advice Sawkins likes. Two strands to a life are accepted that they can’t cook together Sawkins never once got bleeped. What about a good thing, but at the right moments. nowadays. He laughs: “Mum’s not a messy the cringy innuendo – peals of laughter at “I feel very lucky that I’ve got a year and cook, but she’s not a particularly clean one.” Prue worrying about a baker’s “excessively a half of university left. I have to complete But she takes the credit for starting him large nuts” – that’s the base layer of Bake Off it and I want to: I really love what I do. I’m watching Bake Off, from series one. He learnt entertainment? going to see if I can do as much that arises soon that doing difficult things – like French At one point Noel Fielding waved a from Bake Off and all these fun opportunities macarons – is more exciting than traybake wooden spoon for Sawkins to kiss, saying, “Mr I’m getting, without completely destroying my brownies. “When I was 12, I made a Spoon wants to see Peter naked.” “It was all academic performance.” gingerbread house all by myself, using the fun. People were just lovely,” he says. Even Sawkins’ parents and his brother Andrew Bake Off Christmas Masterclass recipe. And it’s Paul Hollywood, gruff assassin of bakers’ are close: they have all just done Christmas one of those things that at the end you look at dreams? Sawkins won’t be drawn to gossip together. (Peter and his dad cooked the and go, ‘Wow, I made that from scratch today. about any of them. “They’re all good friends, dinner: turkey, sprouts with chestnuts and And it looks properly amazing.’ ” Christmas my baking family, and I’m looking forward to black pudding, a “stuffing wreath”.) Andrew, gingerbread houses, filmed when he was 16, when we can get together again. Everyone was who is two years older and studying for a are the first item on his YouTube channel. just really nice.” master’s in mathematics, is close to Peter. He first auditioned for the show at 17. And so is he. We finish the walk outside A lot of his baking is inspired by Andrew’s Bake Off, watched and rewatched, was the kirk and Sawkins does a quick baking gluten intolerance. Sawkins’ cookery school. He was particularly clinic for me on my collapsing sourdough Nine of Sawkins’ twenty recipes used caught by series three, won by 23-year-old law bread disasters. His solution: line the proving gluten-free flour, an achievement that brought student John Whaite. Sawkins was entranced basket with rice powder, and lower the him much praise from the GI and coeliac by Whaite’s technique of listening to the song hydration in my dough. This has proven community. The judges were impressed that of a cake when it comes out of an oven: “If it’s to work. And, excited by the idea of baking Sawkins could make this difficult ingredient still wet, then it’s going to sound like it’s for a Bake Off winner, I gave him an Extra- work, loving his white chocolate cake adorned boiling away. But if it’s just a nice, moist cake strong Dynamite Ginger Cake, baked by with mathematical symbols, done to mark his it’s just got a gentle, gentle sound to it,” my daughter and me, topped with what on brother’s Covid-blighted graduation ceremony. Sawkins explains. Bake Off you might call a filigree lattice of What drives him? “I always want to crystallised ginger. Sawkins kindly says he The Sawkins parents could be models for improve. I like the idea of mastery, and “loves the texture” of the cake. (We know it a How To Grow a Good Kid manual; their training to get better at things. And then that’s has far too much ginger, and the lattice fell principal tactic being the many supportive always a motivating factor to keep on going: off.) Then he offers me the Tupperware box hours they have put into their children’s you can always get better. And there’s back – which is very nice indeed. n

The Times Magazine 37 They believe that the world is run by satanic paedophiles. That there are bunkers under Central Park housing sex-trafficked children. And that Angela Merkel is Hitler’s granddaughter. But they don’t all look like this… Former QAnon follower Melissa Rein Lively, 35. Opposite: Jake Angeli, a 32-year-old actor from Arizona known as the ‘QAnon Shaman’, with Trump supporters outside the Senate chamber after breaking into the Capitol

The two faces of QAnon The conspiracy theorists (left) who breached the Capitol last week have become the public face of QAnon, the notorious cult that has swept America. But the group has also attracted many ordinary US citizens. Melissa Rein Lively (above) explains what happened to her – and how the movement almost destroyed her life. Interview by Jane Mulkerrins t was a little after 2pm on January 6 claims of election fraud – with the rather when the lone member of the Capitol’s more colourful beliefs of this growing band police force, stationed in a ground-floor of conspiracy theorists. In the aftermath of corridor, just inside the doors of the seat the attack on the Capitol, many are now of American democracy, was suddenly, connecting the dots. heavily outnumbered. Protesters had On Wednesday, January 6, on a flight from swarmed the building in their thousands, Texas to Washington DC filled with incoming I scaling scaffolding and scrambling protesters, a brouhaha broke out. A passenger up walls, smashing through sets of had, to the irritation of others, beamed supposedly secure doors. They had a pro-Trump projection inside the cabin, breached the hallowed building and were while cries could be heard of “Joe Biden now inside, surging through lobbies and is a paedophile” – a central proposition of staircases, spilling out into the iconic rotunda. QAnon thinking. Some in MAGA (Make America Great And in the days following the attempted Again) hats and hoodies, others in camouflage coup, details emerged about pro-Trump riot gear, brandishing Confederate flags and protester Ashli Babbitt, the 35-year-old air bats, the mob pushed on, chasing the officer force veteran who was hit by a bullet fired by up the wide marble stairs. Seconds later, a plainclothes police officer and later died in they entered an airy, pastel green anteroom, hospital. She too, according to her family, had hung with portraits of former presidents. become a QAnon believer, loyally subscribing Encountering more officers, they finally came to the latest tenet: that the 2020 presidential to a stop, but they’d made it to the Senate election was stolen by the elite Satan- chamber. Inside, behind the locked doors, worshipping cabal, and that ordinary America’s most senior politicians hid people must reinstate Trump. underneath their seats; some, fearing a The quasi-spiritual rhetoric of QAnon chemical attack, had donned gas masks. borrows heavily from the language of Outside the Senate chamber, the man who evangelical Christianity, with beliefs in “the had led the charge on the lone black officer Great Awakening” and “the great storm” that on the stairs stood defiant before a small is coming, although the precise nature of the Alternative ‘health’ group of police. He was sporting a black storm is never defined. On the morning of beanie and a logo T-shirt over his hoodie. It January 5, Babbitt tweeted, “Nothing will stop sites led her to pages is a motif that could be seen on many other us… They can try and try and try but the chests at the Capitol that Wednesday – an storm is here and it is descending upon DC propagating the idea eagle inside a large Q, the letter formed of in less than 24 hours… dark to light!” stars and stripes; the logo of QAnon. that the coronavirus is Even more flamboyant in his protest-day Melissa Rein Lively, a 35-year-old PR apparel was another QAnon supporter; this executive, knows exactly what it’s like to have a hoax to unseat Trump one had a name. Jake Angeli, a small-time your life taken over by QAnon. Last summer a actor from Arizona, had stormed the Capitol video of Rein Lively furiously destroying racks shirtless, in war paint and a horned fur hat. of masks in her local Target store went viral, spiritual websites – as well as those discussing The so-called “QAnon Shaman” posed for shared ten million times within days. At first the safety of coronavirus vaccinations pictures on the Senate dais from where she was lumped in with the other so-called – tumbled down the rabbit hole of QAnon. Vice-President Mike Pence had rapidly been Karens – wealthy white women – complaining Rein Lively and I are speaking on a evacuated to safety. about the apparent infringements of their Saturday morning over Zoom. What I can QAnon’s profile and popularity rocketed “rights” while a global health crisis roiled. see of her large and lavishly decorated home in 2020. This is the now notorious group A second video, however – the aftermath in the wealthy Arizona town of Scottsdale of conspiracy theorists who believe that the of her Target tantrum – was more disturbing. speaks of the success of her PR firm, and that world is run by a secret cabal of corrupt Back home, in her garage, beside an expansive of her husband Jared’s real estate business. politicians, businesspeople and celebrities SUV, Rein Lively filmed her altercation with Before the pandemic, she attests, she was in league with Satan, and whose saviour the police whom her husband had called to riding high, representing luxury lifestyle – who they believe will expose and destroy intervene. Accusing them of antisemitism, she clients such as Nobu and Hilton. When the this cabal – is Donald Trump. Due to its also claimed, repeatedly, to have a direct line coronavirus hit last March, the impact was loose, decentralised, online form, absolute to the White House, and to speak to Donald “pretty instantaneous. I lost 50 per cent of my numbers are tricky to come by, but an internal Trump multiple times a day. business right off the bat.” And when she was investigation by Facebook in summer 2020 Six months on she remembers little of the hired for work, it was “to help people tell their uncovered thousands of groups and pages, incidents that day in Target – “Total blackout,” employees that they were laying them all off with millions of members supporting QAnon’s she says. “It was an out-of-body experience.” – to soften the blow and spin it”. outlandish theories. The FBI had warned But her story explains a lot about the QAnon Stress and panic set in fast. “I thought, I’m that the ideas disseminated by QAnon could fever that has swept the United States. going to be out on the street tomorrow. I’m “very likely motivate some domestic extremists She was suffering from a psychotic break of going to be homeless. There was not a lot of to commit criminal, sometimes violent activity”. sorts, a combination of repressed trauma from rational thought,” she says. Isolated and Until now, however, few connected Trump’s a turbulent childhood and the psychological anxious, with too much time on her hands insistent claims that the election was stolen pressures of the pandemic. But she had also, and an insatiable appetite for news, she was

PREVIOUS SPREAD: GETTY IMAGES, DOMINIC VALENTE. THIS SPREAD: MELISSA REIN LIVELY/INSTAGRAM, DOMINIC VALENTE THIS SPREAD: MELISSA REIN LIVELY/INSTAGRAM, DOMINIC VALENTE. PREVIOUS SPREAD: GETTY IMAGES, from him – and those who supported his via relatively mainstream New Age, yoga and soon doing little else but “scrolling, scrolling,

40 The Times Magazine From left: Melissa Rein Lively’s Instagram stories showing her destruction place they can “safely” search for it – the about QAnon”, but then added, “I do know of a mask display at Target; Rein Lively at her home in Arizona internet. “Without community support they are very much against paedophilia. They networks, or the help of professionals, people fight it very hard. But I know nothing about it.” are going to the same place they’re going to At first, says Rein Lively, she found comfort shop or for entertainment – online – for a in the quasi-spiritual ideas being propagated. strange sort of therapy.” “But the first thing that put me into a tailspin It was this spiritual aspect that first drew was the idea that, ‘First they put you in the in Rein Lively. “I’m very New Age-y, very masks, and then they’ll put you in boxcars.’ spiritual. My philosophy is that you manifest I started to think that they were disguising your own destiny. Your thoughts create your the pandemic as a health crisis, when, in reality,” she says. Prior to the pandemic, she fact, there’s an impending medical tyranny explains she was already “dialled into lots that’s going to result in a second Holocaust.” of spiritual sites – Ayurvedic health, natural She is Jewish and two of her grandparents medicine, breathing, how to align your were Holocaust survivors. (There are also, chakras”. That’s a fertile touchpoint for however, some antisemitic strands within QAnon. “QAnon is interested in spreading the broad church of QAnon; some Capitol spiritual rebirth, so yoga and wellness insurrectionists sported T-shirts with the logo communities are ripe for that, as it too “Camp Auschwitz” and “6MWE”, which stands traffics in ideas of transcendence, revelation for 6 Million [Jews] Wasn’t Enough.) Who, and awakening,” says Bratich. I ask, are “they”? “The globalists. The UN. “When I started reading about the future The World Health Organisation. George of humanity, and how we’re in this new age of Soros, Dr Fauci,” she reels off. Aquarius, all of that appealed to me,” says To hear Rein Lively describe her Rein Lively. experiences with QAnon, it sounds, I say, Alternative “health” sites that questioned very much like a cult, one of the definitions and condemned a coronavirus vaccine then of which is a group that displaces one’s own led her to other pages, propagating the idea of idealogy and replaces it wholesale with the a “plandemic”, that the coronavirus is a hoax ideology of the cult. “It is a decentralised and/or deliberately created/exaggerated to online conspiracy theory cult,” agrees Joseph unseat Trump. “Anything that is forced or Uscinski, professor of political science at the mandated, I will recoil from,” she says, and University of Miami and author of Conspiracy in the US in particular, she’s far from alone. Theories and the People Who Believe Them. QAnon appeals to the deep-seated libertarian “It doesn’t necessarily look like people would underpinnings of the country, which many expect a cult to look, as they rarely meet and Americans still hold dear. it’s all done online. But they do have a group “It’s a fascinating mix of sceptical, anti- identity, and some take oaths, and in that tyranny, populist suspicion about power, sense it’s more of a group than just a belief.” mixed in with the intensive devotion of a QAnon is also unlike other conspiracy faith-based organisation,” says Bratich. theories in its broad, loose collection of beliefs. scrolling”, sleeping just three hours a night, All these elements and more were proudly, On the mainframe theory – the cabal of barely eating, and, thanks to internet bombastically on display when the rioters, powerful, corrupt satanic public figures – hang algorithms, rapidly getting deeper into drunk on conspiracy theories, encouraged and myriad more conspiracy theories: that there the murky world of QAnon. enabled by the sitting president, stormed the are bunkers under Central Park housing sex- Capitol that Wednesday. Angeli, the self-styled trafficked children; that the CIA controls the Jack Bratich, professor of journalism and “Shaman”, carried a placard that read “Hold media; that Angela Merkel is Adolf Hitler’s media studies at Rutgers University and a the line, Patriots – God Wins”, while inside the granddaughter; that JFK Jr is alive and well leading expert on the group, defines QAnon Senate chamber, as a protester wrapped in a – because what is a conspiracy theory without as “an internet-based populist movement, with Trump flag took triumphant selfies in the a Kennedy? When Joe Biden appeared in reactionary spiritual overtones”. It began, he Speaker’s chair, a fellow rioter, a woman in public in a medical boot in December, having explains, in 2017, as a sort of “political game, a red outdoor activity jacket, carried a sign fractured his foot, QAnon theorists asserted an online investigative puzzle”, whose players asserting, “The children cry out for justice,” a that it was to disguise an electronic tag, that sought to interpret cryptic online posts from reference to the child sex-trafficking QAnon Biden – one of the supposed cabal – had a mysterious “Q”, who claimed to be a high- fervently asserts senior government officials “already been arrested”. level government official with access to are engaged in. The evangelical flavour of QAnon also classified material. “But in the past three And if anyone was left in any doubt as brings with it a responsibility to proselytise years, it’s morphed into something more to whom the mob had pledged its intense – “You can’t keep your salvation to yourself; than that. It’s turned into a kind of social devotion, their bold red flags, carried aloft part of the mission is to convince others,” says movement. The presidential election and the through the Capitol, quickly cleared that up: Bratich – which, in our digital age, means pandemic created the perfect storm last year,” “Trump is my President”. Instagram stories, Facebook livestreams and says Bratich. He describes how, isolated in For his part, Trump has always (somewhat YouTube videos. “I was posting Instagram lockdown, facing an uncertain future, fearing unconvincingly) denied not only any stories like it was my job. I felt like I had for their health, and with trust in institutions relationship to QAnon but even awareness of this duty to inform people,” says Rein Lively. plummeting, more people than ever are its existence. In October, at a televised town “But QAnon also conditions you to believe seeking answers, and comfort, in the only hall address, he claimed to “know nothing that what they are saying is the truth and if

The Times Magazine 41

anybody – family, friends, loved ones – tries QAnon-supporting congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene a satanist who is plotting to kill Christians and to convince you otherwise, they are not to take over the world”. be trusted. So it drives a wedge even deeper But for all the anti-mask, anti-Biden and isolates people to the point where they rhetoric, QAnon is not fundamentally become dependent on QAnon as a source far right, as some assume, says Bratich. of information and a source of comfort. It “There’s nothing Democrat or Republican destroys relationships.” She should know. or traditionally liberal or conservative about Rein Lively’s husband, Jared, filed for divorce it,” says Uscinski. “QAnon doesn’t just want while she was in hospital under psychiatric to kill Hillary Clinton; they also want to kill evaluation following the Target incident; the Bushes and Oprah and Tom Hanks. They they have since reconciled. have an antagonism towards the establishment After months of sympathetic encouragement and they like Trump because he’s anti- to put down her phone and step away from establishment too. His message of draining the internet, by early July, Jared had had the swamp makes perfect sense to QAnon enough. The couple fought, and she decamped types who think everything is a swamp.” to a five-star hotel nearby. When, on July 4, ‘People think it’s Nonetheless, the Capitol siege has raised she entered the Target to buy bottled water, fears over the security of president-elect she was already frustrated and annoyed. toothless Billy-Bob in a Biden’s inauguration this coming Wednesday. “I was listening to the radio in the car, Eventually, 24 hours after his supporters saying, ‘No barbecues, no pool parties, no basement, but it’s not. vandalised Senate members’ offices, leaving fun.’” In the store, where most shoppers were a threatening message on Speaker Nancy masked, “My mindset at the time was, ‘Wake It’s intelligent people. Pelosi’s desk promising, “We will be back,” up, everybody, and see what they are trying Trump released a video appearing finally to to do to us.’” That’s why it’s insidious’ concede the election result, and pledging to When she spotted the gargantuan display ensure “a smooth, orderly and seamless of masks in the centre of the store, “I just transition of power”. completely snapped.” all phone use at dinner time and significantly However, he also added that he “strongly Rein Lively was hospitalised for a week, limiting it at weekends. “I’ll be embarrassed believes we must continue to reform our where she underwent psychiatric evaluation. and apologising for the rest of my life,” she election laws to verify the identity and She was not, doctors concluded, a danger to says of the Target incident. But she believes eligibility of all voters”, a nod to his enduring herself or others, or suffering from bipolar there’s a misconception when it comes to insistence that the 2020 election results were disorder, but, more likely, a form of PTSD. QAnon. “People think it’s toothless Billy-Bob fraudulent and that his chance at a second- Back home, after her release from hospital, [by which she means cranks and social term presidency was “stolen”, and a dog- she was subjected to extreme trolling, hate misfits] in a basement somewhere, but it’s whistle to his devoted supporters enraged mail and death threats by people who had not. It’s intelligent people who pick up on by an incoming Biden administration. watched her meltdown online. “I was getting discrepancies and patterns and then the Extreme though they may seem, QAnon hundreds of emails a day from people saying, algorithms take them to sites that confirm ideas have undeniably penetrated the ‘Kill yourself.’ And there were times when all their suspicions,” she says. “That’s one of mainstream. Two of Trump’s lawyers, Sidney I thought maybe I should kill myself – nobody the reasons that it’s so insidious.” Powell and Lin Wood (the latter of whom is ever going to give me a job again,” she says. So widely has QAnon now penetrated is defending Kyle Rittenhouse, the teenager She booked into the Meadows, Arizona’s contemporary culture that online support charged with shooting three people during addiction treatment and therapy centre – groups offering help to families with members the Black Lives Matter protests in Kenosha, famous, in part, for treating Harvey Weinstein in thrall to the theories are inundated. Wisconsin), are also active on QAnon sites, and Kevin Spacey for purported sex addiction There’s the daughter of two doctors who and Michael Flynn, Trump’s former security – where treatments cost around $1,000 a day. are heading for divorce since her father has adviser, is thought to be a follower too, having Much of her eight-week programme was, she fallen under QAnon’s thrall. “How can’t he see posted videos featuring QAnon oaths, symbols says, “not about the incident that happened in that this is nonsense? Especially all the Covid and messages. the summer, but about before”. stuff,” she says. “It feels almost like a death, Uscinski believes many of the people who Her mother, a former television personality, that the father I knew doesn’t exist any more.” turn to QAnon already have world views that took her own life with an overdose; Melissa, There’s the woman who had just given birth make them open to its influence. “It’s not like then aged 14, found her. Her father remarried, and writes of her father: “I was holding my you go from being an ardent anti-conspiracy and he and her stepmother sent her to a new little guy at the time. I answered the theorist to suddenly believing in satanic boarding school, which she says was “horribly phone anticipating congratulations, but he baby-eaters running the government. Many psychologically abusive”. She never went to immediately launched into his belief that of the people who fall down the rabbit hole therapy. “I compartmentalised it all, and spent Covid was a hoax to get Trump.” There’s the already have world views roughly conducive my whole adult life creating this image of woman whose mother has begun to Facebook to conspiracy theories,” he asserts. perfection,” she says. “What I experienced that livestream her own “prophecies from the I ask Rein Lively, who now works to help morning when I found my mother, that was Lord” about the state of the nation, the others struggling with mental health crises, the feeling that came back when I started to evils of the LGBTQ agenda and saving the whether, with multiple vaccines rolling out panic about coronavirus. I couldn’t breathe; children from paedophiles. She also, says her across the States, she will be lining up to my chest felt tight. It brought up all these daughter, “refused to wear a mask around her have one. “I don’t know,” she says. “I think feelings for me of not feeling safe.” immuno-compromised sister because it meant I need to understand more about it. I want When she did return home, she and Jared acceptance of Biden’s New World Order”, and to have all of the information to make an

AP established some firm house rules, cutting off “believes that anyone who voted for Biden is informed decision.” n

The Times Magazine 43 Stephen Jackley, now 34, photographed by Tom Jackson in Bristol, where he’s lived since his release from prison in 2015 MY MATE, THE BANK ROBBER In 2016 Times writer Ben Machell met Stephen Jackley, a shy geography student from Devon who’d robbed banks to give money to the homeless and ended up on the run in America. It was the beginning of a remarkable relationship and a five-year obsession with a self-proclaimed Robin Hood and his one-man crime spree. Now he’s written a book about him ne bright spring morning almost was not around, but that I could send an email with some wariness. But the more he talked, five years ago, I caught the train explaining what I wanted. So I sent an email. I the more open he became, describing the from London to Bristol in order to said that I was a journalist who had read about events of his life with a somewhat formal meet a young man named Stephen his heists, his fixation with Robin Hood and composure. “I was portrayed in the press Jackley. He was, at the time, just his eventual capture and arrest in the United as a mad university student who suddenly about to turn 30 and on probation, States. I explained I wanted to know how an decided to rob banks,” he told me. “But it having not long been released insular geography student from rural Devon wasn’t a sudden process. It was gradual, and O from prison after serving six years had come to the conclusion that it was his it happened due to different factors.” for offences relating to a number personal responsibility to tackle global income He explained how he had grown up in a of armed robberies. Between inequality as the world began to slip towards council house in a town called Sidmouth. An September 2007 and March 2008, Jackley economic cataclysm. I wrote that I wanted only child, his mother had suffered from severe had carried out a string of bank heists, both to know exactly how he was able to evade schizophrenia and he would witness her being in Devon, where he was from, and in the West the police for months and I wanted to know forcibly removed from their home by police Midlands, where he had been a shy, socially exactly how he had found himself languishing and doctors in order to be institutionalised awkward geography student at the University alone in a tiny concrete cell in Vermont’s – experiences, he says, that shaped his attitude of Worcester. Using replica pistols, elaborate Southern State Correctional Facility. towards authority. His father was depressive, escape routes and stashed disguises, Jackley I finished my email by asking if he would most likely bipolar. His parents had met, made off with thousands of pounds while be willing to meet up so that we could talk I would later learn, on a psychiatric ward. leaving teams of pursuing detectives perplexed. I knew all of this because the previous week, in my capacity as feature writer for The Times Magazine, I had been looking for potential stories – which is really just a polite way of saying “browsing the internet” – when I came across a series of old news items about Jackley and his odd criminal career. I read about how he had developed an obsession with Robin Hood and how, as the global financial crisis unfolded, he convinced himself he had a moral obligation to rob from the rich and give to the poor, despite having no prior criminal experience. I read about how he had lived a double life that seemed charged with a gonzo energy. He once arrived at a geography lecture with a backpack full of cash he had just stolen from a bank. He managed to escape the scene of a crime by leaving a fake bomb fashioned from cola bottles and wires for the pursuing CCTV images of Stephen Jackley in disguise police to find, prompting the evacuation of Exeter city centre. On another occasion, he got away by posing as a rambler and returning about all of this. I honestly didn’t expect that He and his family were excluded, he felt, to his home via a footpath that ran along the he would. But you have to ask. by the local community. Almost entirely clifftops of Devon’s Jurassic Coast. Three hours later, I received a short reply. friendless, he took comfort in long, solitary He gave banknotes marked with “RH” – He would, he said, be willing to do an interview. walks around Devon and by pursuing a series “Robin Hood” – to the homeless, anonymously Which is how I came to be on the train to of obsessive interests: geology, archaeology, shoved envelopes stuffed with stolen money Bristol, where Jackley had lived since his cosmology, quantum theory. By the time he through the letterbox of a charity and was only release from prison in 2015. He now operated was a teenager, he had become seriously apprehended after he’d travelled to Vermont a small publishing operation called the anxious about the future of the planet. A in order to obtain a real gun using a fake ID. Arkbound Foundation, which he had set up gap-year trip to Cambodia exposed him to After some further misadventure involving a with the help of a Prince’s Trust grant, and genuine poverty and he simply couldn’t cope failed attempt to escape the US Marshals, he so we sat together in a cramped rented office with what he saw. His mind began to churn found himself in solitary confinement in the above a charity shop. He was tallish, with short with the injustice of it all and, slowly, he came high-security wing of a federal prison. Interpol dark hair and rectangular glasses, and my initial to the conclusion that he must take radical got involved. He was questioned by the FBI. impressions were that he was quiet, unobtrusive action. He would steal from banks – the very He spent nine months in the US penal system and not particularly big on eye contact. He engines of inequality and of capitalism’s banzai before being escorted back to the UK, where would answer open-ended, conversational charge toward environmental oblivion – and he was charged, tried and sentenced. All in all questions quickly and directly, often with one use the proceeds somehow to help create a it was, I concluded, a potential story. word. I had half-expected this. Two years after better world. That, at least, had been the plan. So the following day I cold-called a Bristol his conviction, Jackley had been diagnosed We spoke for a couple of hours before I telephone number. A quiet, somewhat wary- with Asperger’s syndrome, a form of autism, returned to London. The interview ran in May sounding young man answered, and when I a fact which, on appeal, saw his sentence 2016. Over the weeks that followed, I thought introduced myself and asked if it was possible reduced by 12 months, from 13 to 12 years. about Jackley almost constantly: about his to speak to Stephen Jackley, the line seemed to Jackley had never spoken face to face with lonely childhood, his crimes and the way in

WEST MERCIA POLICE/PA WEST go dead before the voice told me that Stephen a journalist before and eyed my Dictaphone which an otherwise rational, intelligent and

46 The Times Magazine is, a project that would see me ‘stealing’. Some HE TAPED A SCRIPT TO THE BUTT OF HIS bank or financial institution would do.”

FAKE PISTOL. ‘I WORRIED I WOULD GET SO He turned this idea into reality the following DISTRACTED I’D SAY THE WRONG THINGS’ year. On September 7, 2007, he pounced on a courier who had just left a Lloyds TSB in Exeter city centre via a service entrance at the really rather timid young man could cause his with sheets and sheets of correspondence, prison rear of the building and, brandishing a fake life to explode into such wild, unpredictable paperwork, legal documents and more. pistol, demanded to be let into the bank. This drama. What had he honestly thought was One of the reasons why it was not very first attempt did not go to plan, however, and going to happen? How had he justified the hard to prosecute Jackley for his crimes is that Jackley was forced to flee after the courier terror he had caused bank employees with he had a habit of writing everything down. prised the gun from his hands, beat him round his balaclava, knives and replica pistols? How Since adolescence, he had kept diaries in which the face with it before kicking him between honest had he been – with me, with himself he detailed his thoughts and hopes and, as he the legs. “Which was fair enough,” he told me – about his motivations? These were the began his criminal career, detailed plans for his with a shrug. questions still knocking about my head. heists. When the police searched his university However, in what would become a We remained in touch. I kept asking him if halls of residence after federal agents hallmark of his crimes, he was able to escape he would do another interview – at this stage informed them he had been caught trying to capture. He made it to a nearby park where he buy a gun, they found everything they needed. had stashed a complete change of clothes in Prosecutors would later describe his room some bushes. As a police helicopter thrummed as being a “treasure trove of evidence”. One overhead, he then calmly walked through detective inspector involved told me it was Exeter to a leisure centre where he had like nothing he’d ever seen. “You start reading stashed a second change of clothes in a locker. this stuff where he’s basically confessing to the It was on this occasion, while he was robberies in his diaries and you just think… making his getaway, that the police arrived he’s copped it for us,” he said. “I think the at the Lloyds TSB to find the fake bomb he Americans call it a ‘slam dunk’.” had assembled from bits of household junk Among the mass of papers he gave me and left before fleeing. So rather than pursuing were several diaries. Some dated back to his him, local police began to evacuate and early adolescence, others were in the form of cordon off the area. One of the Devon and photocopies, the originals having been seized Cornwall police detectives who was involved by the police and used as evidence in his trial. in the operation to track down Jackley told I would work through them every night, me that we shouldn’t be surprised at this. trying to construct a picture of the young mind “Because our priority isn’t to catch someone that had produced them. As a tweenager, who has committed a crime. It’s people’s Jackley filled page after page with complex safety. One person gets away from an armed theories concerning space, time and general robbery? We can risk-manage that. But doing relativity, produced motivational to-do lists nothing and a bomb going off and there being Police mug shot of Jackley on his arrest in 2009 for himself (“Eat an apple every day”; “Be a numerous injuries? We cannot allow that to bookworm!”) and experimented with creative happen.” By the time the truth was discovered simply because I still had so many more writing, including, in hindsight, a somewhat by the bomb disposal team, “most of Exeter questions – and eventually, he agreed. We eerie poem about a boy “who went mad”. In his town centre was starting to be evacuated”. spoke on the phone for a couple of hours and teens, he began to write more and more about This early failure only spurred him on. made plans to do so again. Sometimes he would his love – and concern – for the natural world. Successful attempts followed. In some ways, come to London and we would meet at cafés “Nature is perfect,” he scrawled in his diary his approach to these robberies was rational, or at the Times offices. I would sometimes at the age of 16. “When you gaze up at the almost sensible: he did online research about email him questions or ask for more details night sky you are looking at the most beautiful how he should go about these heists. He on certain topics, and his responses would be thing anyone will ever see. It is the universe, all scouted for CCTV locations. He planned thoughtful and detailed, often essay length. He that there is. Galaxies, stars, time, everything.” escape routes using 3D mapping software did not relish the attention – I’ve interviewed After finishing his A-levels, Jackley had that the University of Worcester geography enough people to know when they do, even if hoped to find work. Though he had been department had made available to its students, they pretend otherwise – but instead seemed diagnosed with a “social phobia” as a child, and he made sure to have changes of clothes to be engaged in a process he found wearying, nobody knew he was on the autism spectrum planted in various locations should he need often embarrassing, but somehow necessary. and his job interviews went badly. He felt them. He would then, typically, storm into On some level, I think we both wanted to get rejected and fell under the influence of a much the bank – although he also targeted to the bottom of what he had done and why. older cousin, who introduced him to pubs, bookmakers – and demand the cashier When I told him that I planned to write a recreational drugs and gambling. It was a give him everything they had. book about his crimes, he said, in that case, he winning streak on the horses, though, that But there was also something profoundly had a few bits and pieces that may be useful. meant he could afford the round-the-world naive about his approach to bank robbery. backpacking trip that exposed him to genuine Devon and Cornwall police found that he The next time we met, Jackley brought with poverty for the first time. As he travelled, a had taped a piece of paper to the butt of the him several large plastic bags which he handed plan began to take shape. “I am contemplating fake pistol the Lloyds TSB courier had taken to me. They contained dozens of notepads, the fruition of unconventional financial gain,” from him. He had been anxious that he would sketchbooks and cardboard envelopes filled he wrote in his diary on July 26, 2006. “That get tongue-tied once he was inside the bank,

The Times Magazine 47 so he wrote down the things he wanted to say allowed him to transform himself into a daring successful. He says that only a fraction of this and stuck the little script to his gun with all criminal savant. What it is possible to say, money found its way into the hands of the the nervous care of a schoolboy preparing to though, is that he struggled to empathise with homeless, and it appears he treated much of cheat in an exam. “I worried I could get so people he was targeting. He understood that the remainder as a sort of personal float to be overwhelmed and distracted that I would pointing a replica gun or knife at somebody used in the furtherance of his “mission” and say the wrong things,” he told me. “It wasn’t would, in that moment, make them afraid. It of his outlaw fantasies a convoluted script… ‘Armed robbery’, ‘no dye was a shame, he told himself, but then making He spent a lot of this money attempting packs’, that sort of thing.” them afraid was the whole point. But once to acquire a pistol. The reason he wanted a On one occasion, he attempted to rob a he’d made his getaway he did not spend much real gun – the reason he travelled to America bank in the Herefordshire town of Ledbury. time worrying about how these people felt. – was so that he could smuggle it back to the Walking towards his target in a disguise that “I couldn’t appreciate that going into a UK and use it to force his way into a bank involved a faintly ridiculous mop-top wig and bank and pointing a gun at them… They didn’t vault. To finally hit the big jackpot he had so aviator sunglasses, a group of local teenager realise it’s an imitation. It could have been long been obsessed with and which, he told children began laughing at and teasing him. real to them,” he told me. “And I didn’t himself, would allow him to create The It knocked his confidence so much that appreciate what that would convey to them. Organisation. And while his subsequent he aborted the attempt mid-heist. “I was In a vague sense I knew it would cause fear. capture in the US changed his life for ever, basically being taunted by a group of kids,” he But intellectually, I couldn’t understand how it is also possible that it saved his life too. He explained to me, late one night during one of it would affect them on an emotional level.” was fixated with getting a real gun, and had our long phone conversations. “I’m surprised, What also became clear, the more that already attempted to acquire one in Istanbul. in hindsight, that I didn’t realise that such I spoke to Jackley and the more I read his Had he actually got his hands on one, this an overt disguise was going to be detrimental. diary entries, was that he began to revel in his could have all been a very different, far more But there you go. We get absorbed in stuff.” role as outlaw. He began to enjoy the feeling tragic story. Everyone – from police detectives Late one night in Worcester, he had of power and control it conferred. Having to Jackley himself – seems to agree on that. attempted to use an electric angle grinder in spent so many years feeling thwarted and Today, Jackley still operates Arkbound, order to cut through some bars protecting a anonymous, he had created a world in which which promotes the work of vulnerable Barclays bank, only for it to run out of battery, forcing him to return to his halls of residence and recharge it. By the time he returned, a police car was cruising the streets and, again, HE KNEW HIS GUN STRUCK FEAR, ‘BUT NOT he was forced to abort. HOW IT AFFECTED PEOPLE EMOTIONALLY’ Even when he was able to flee a bank with several thousand pounds in cash, though, he did not consider it a success. His true goal was fantasy regularly became real. “Why have and underrepresented writers, including to force his way into a bank vault – the jackpot I turned to crime?” he asked himself in his ex-offenders. Both his parents are now dead, – which would yield enough money for him diary during his first term at university. “Many and from what I can gather, he leads a solitary to pivot to legitimate enterprise. He had reasons. Anger at the establishment; the life. Writing about his life and crimes has been envisioned the creation of a sort of NGO he status quo, the rich getting richer and the sad, strange and exhilarating. The concerns called “The Organisation”, which would help poor getting poorer. The forgotten millions of for our planet and deeply unequal society build hospitals and provide scholarships to southern lands who live in acute poverty, with that first drove him to crime still dominate children in the developing world. “To take just just a grain of opportunity which westerners his thoughts, and it’s ironic to see how these a drop hoarded by the rich and scatter but a ignore. And even the knowledge of being concerns are now uncontroversial beliefs held little to the poor,” he wrote in his diary. “Is it sought by the law is a draw in itself. It brings by millions. The last time we met, Jackley, justice to keep millions languishing in poverty self-importance; you can make elaborate somewhat bashfully, gave me a copy of as a few hundred enjoy excessive wealth?” storylines out of every stroll.” Greta Thunberg’s book, No One Is Too Small While many of Jackley’s actions sound This obsessiveness about his crimes and his to Make a Difference. He said that he hoped tragicomic, it is vital to understand that they new identity – his insistence on carrying on, I would find time to read it. were not victimless. His crimes caused terror even when he had so many chances to walk I still have all the papers he gave me, and trauma to the staff working in the banks away – could also have been informed by his stashed in boxes by my desk. On one sheet and bookmakers he targeted, a fact that every autism. When he appealed his 13-year sentence of lined A4 paper there is a long, rambling police detective involved in the case made after he finally received an Asperger’s diagnosis, poem he wrote from his cell inside Worcester clear. I interviewed one young man who had the judge was not sympathetic. Jackley’s police station on the day he was escorted been working at a branch of William Hill in Asperger’s did not mean he was unable to back to the UK for trial. It is full of angst and Worcester when Jackley struck one night. A differentiate between right and wrong – he self-reproach, but there is also a perceptiveness balaclava-wearing figure had held a knife to his had lived a law-abiding life until that point that seems to belie his actions. Reading it throat and what appeared to be a real pistol to – and he freely chose to become an armed back now, it is as though, for the first time, his head. It was an experience that left him robber whose modus operandi was to strike he sees everything clearly. “O learn this well scarred for a decade. “I buried a lot of the terror. Even so, the judge conceded, it was and know the moral,” he writes to himself in stress and I probably only dealt with that a possible that once he’d started his crimes, his spidery black Biro. “Chase not your obsessions few years ago,” he told me. “I went years of condition made it much harder for him to stop. without forgetting your dreams.” n sleeping two or three hours a night.” By the time he was captured by Vermont The role played by Jackley’s Asperger’s police after he’d fled from a gun shop where Ben Machell’s The Unusual Suspect: The syndrome in these crimes is a question I kept his fake ID had been noted, Jackley had only Remarkable True Story of a Modern-Day returning to. Being on the autism spectrum stolen a little under £11,000 over the course Robin Hood is published by Canongate on was not some kind of superpower that simply of some 10 attempts, half of which were January 21, priced £16.99

The Times Magazine 49 STAYING IN WITH THE CORENS GILES & ESTHER’S LOCKDOWN 3 LIFE

‘Yes, it’s the worst. But at least Giles is easier to live with when he’s sad…’

Giles they will. So it’s not a refreshing break; it’s the years, absolute minimum,” before a return to end of a thing I loved. anything like normality.) Last time, there was daily exercise in the Esther and I had the boring original variant No, I’m sorry, we can’t do it again. Not a third park, in the sunshine, playing calypso cricket over Christmas, with the nausea, diarrhoea, time. We simply can’t. Not the “He says/she in the lush green meadows of Hampstead fever and loss of taste and smell that made says” thing, where my wife complains about a Heath with my kids and getting a tan – often the entire festive season a misery from start to different element of lockdown each week and doing it two or three times a day, despite the finish (we tried to enjoy our annual pre-ordered I say, “No, it’s marvellous. It’s a chance to take universally ignored “once a day only” rule. half-kilo of Christmas caviar, but without taste a good long look at ourselves,” and generally This time, it’s brutish football in freezing sleet buds it was like sucking on somebody else’s look on the bright side. Because this time, you and mud in a churned-up park full of weeping cold snot, so don’t tell me I haven’t suffered) know what? There isn’t one. There is nothing zombies, with frozen fingers and toes and the and next year we’re hoping for maybe a good about Lockdown 3. It is a cloud with kids desperate to go home for a hot bath, but seasonal German or Palestinian variant, which a lining of pure turd. There is no upside/ me explaining that the once-a-day law makes would be a bit more Christmassy. downside dichotomy any more, there is no it illegal not to keep on playing until dark, But that won’t be the end of it. Come creative friction, there is no room for debate. which falls about 2pm. Christmas 2120, our children’s children’s It’s all just bad, bad, bad. We can’t even make The first two times, when I wrote about children’s children will still be working their stupid movie sequel gags, because we did all how much I was enjoying lockdown, I got way through the Madagascan, Bhutanese those in Lockdown 2. grief for being out of touch, privileged and and Burkina Fasoan Covids, and the schools First time around, I got to riff on such failing to respect the plight of the poor, the will all still be closed to protect a handful positive projections as, “We’ll get to spend old, the sick, the fat, the foreign and the dead. of old, overweight, already sick individuals more time together as a family.” But we’ve But I didn’t really mean it then – I was only – despite no child having ever got ill from it had time together as a family now. Enough offering a positive perspective to rub against even after 100 years – and because of the total to last me the next, ooh, two million years. Esther’s rage and gloom – so I’m sure as hell surrender of our young people’s education, Nor do I dumbly expect home schooling not going to fake up any positivity this time, humans will have turned back into monkeys. to be fun or productive this time, or relish when it really is the end of the world and So put a bright side on that, Esther, why the chance to read more books (I’ve read we’re all going to die before the end of March. don’t you? everything now, thanks), or have any illusions Which we definitely are. We’re getting a about making my own pasta or bread (I’ve still new and more lethal variant of the virus every got all the sacks of stupid special flour sitting week now. We had the “British” variant that Esther here unopened from last time), or care that has trapped us on our island (killing the global carbon emissions are down a teeny Corens’ projected February half-term winter Well, I’m determined that this lockdown – bit, or that the streets are quiet, or give the sun holiday stone dead and putting this old nicknamed “3.0” to make it seem more like a remotest shit whether I can hear the f***ing Ashkenazi in danger of turning green with the work in progress by Bill Gates and less like birds singing. lack of vitamin D), then the South African a work in progress by Charles Manson – is Last lockdown, when Esther moaned about one, and more are on the way, each certain going to be great. not going away in the summer, I made a big to be more virulent and deadly than the OK, not great, but “great” relative to last thing of how grand it would be to see more of last. I hope you are looking forward to the time – not whatever other lockdown we had England for a change. Well, I’ve seen England Russian variant. And the North Korean. Or just now, but Lockdown 1.0, when the children now and it’s a craphole. perhaps I can interest you in a dose of the were first booted out of school. For a start, this Last time, I confessed to a sense of guilty Iranian flu, sir? There are 180-odd countries time both my children have agreed to do their relief at getting a bit of a break from restaurants, out there waiting to pelt us with their own remote learning, which they flatly refused to after 25 years of compulsory face-filling. But unique version of the virus and, believe me, even look at before. Why? Because I told them that was because I assumed restaurants would we’re going to get them all. (A lecturer in that I have been granted key worker status (as

TOM JACKSON TOM be coming back. Now I am not at all sure that global health at UCL told me last week, “Two a journalist, technically I qualify), and that if

50 The Times Magazine they mess me about on the home schooling in the situation, smiling, making his own kimchi Nobody is saying, “It’s so nice to slow down stuff, they will both be going in every single day. and going, “Hooray!” And that kind of bone- a bit.” It’s a total fiasco, as it always was, but at They won’t be going in of course, no matter headed Pollyanna stuff freaks me out; it’s like least now I’m not the only one who thinks so. how they behave. The school was quick to I’m in a dream and the room’s on fire and I’m And this is an atmosphere I can thrive email all parents to say that unless we are key screaming, “Fire!” but nobody can hear me. in. As long as we’re all agreed that this is the workers in the order of heart surgeons, we can Giles, when upbeat, also comes up with crazy worst, worst thing that has ever happened, forget it. But why let the truth get in the way plans like rearranging the house or becoming ever, I can – perversely – cheer up. of communicating with my children? vegan, which I just hear as, “I’ve found a way Maybe this time I’m the one kidding The other thing that helps is that everyone to create loads more work for you.” myself. Perhaps it’s just early lockdown denial, else is having such a nervo. Particularly But now we’re all singing from the same or my 10am martini talking. But there is Giles. This is terrific, as there’s nothing more miserable Radiohead song sheet. Nobody is something exhilaratingly rock bottom about enervating to me than a cheery, positive Giles. kidding themselves that banana bread is tasty, all this. And as everyone knows, once you’ve He’s so much easier to control when he’s sad. and there’s plenty of kimchi left over from hit rock bottom, the only way is to bump In Lockdown 1, he was one of the many April. Ours is so mature it’s started telling along the bottom for a bit, then scream for people bouncing about finding all the positives jokes every time we open the fridge door. help. And I’ve always enjoyed theatrics. n

The Times Magazine 51 Beauty Lesley Thomas

How to hide those winter dark circles The new eye creams disguise shadows and bags as well as hydrating

irst, I will apologise for a dereliction of and a good serum, I’m not convinced you’ll duty. There’s a product I’ve fallen in get greater returns from adding another love with that I should have tried, and product. Largely, this is a way for beauty told you about, months ago. I ignored companies to wring a bit more cash out of F Bobbi Brown Vitamin Enriched us. But there are some, like this one, that have Eye Base (£34; bobbibrown.co.uk) when it notable additional advantages. launched last summer because, frankly, a new IT Cosmetics Confidence in an Eye Cream eye cream is rarely something to write home (£32; boots.com) includes colour-correcting about. And, much as I love Bobbi Brown ingredients to disguise dark circles, as well make-up (some of the best foundations money as hydrators to fight the lines. There’s a subtle can buy), I don’t think of it as a skincare brand. tightening effect with this treatment – brilliant Well, I was wrong. On the recommendation if you’ve been out on the lash (we can dream!) of a make-up artist, I fished this pot of cream or crying a lot (more likely). out of the “maybe” pile and gave it a go. Now No7 Laboratories Dark Circle Corrector it’s something I’d consider saving from a fire. (£28; boots.com) is a concentrated serum It’s the perfect rich but not greasy texture for under-eye shadows. You have to apply it for older skins and is packed with hydrating every day for at least a month. But for instant hyaluronic acid, antioxidant vitamin C and gratification it has colour-correcting pigments. moisturising vitamin E. But this is not just an One argument in favour of eye creams is eye cream. It also turns your concealer into that some have gentler formulations of youth- something higher-functioning. And Lord knows enhancing ingredients so are more suitable for we need concealer right now. Not surprisingly, the sensitive skin around your eyes. Murad’s sales of products to hide dark circles and eye Vita-C Eyes Dark Circle Corrector (£56; bags have shot up thanks to the perfect storm marksandspencer.com) is one fine example. of stress, poor sleep and video calls. Vitamin C is a strong antioxidant that will Pop this cream on before make-up and brighten shadows and blemishes. The same you have a perfect canvas for your concealer, brand also does a retinol product for eyes which will not crease, move or settle into the – retinol is a proven wrinkle fighter but it laughter lines – a price that’s often paid for This colour-correcting eye can make skin angry if you don’t go gently. decent coverage. Until now I have resisted Murad’s Retinol Youth Renewal Eye Serum anything beyond light-touch concealers. This cream is brilliant if you’ve been (£72; murad.co.uk) is not cheap but is a superb priming eye product changes everything. out on the lash (we can dream!) product – powerful yet kind to sensitive skin. n It takes a lot for me to like an eye cream.

NICK HADDOW Generally, if you’re using a decent moisturiser or crying a lot (more likely) instagram.com/lesleyjthomas

What Lesley loves Eye treatments

Primes Colour- Covers dark Brightening Reduces Antioxidant-rich skin for correcting to circles serum with fine lines for mature skin concealer hide shadows vitamin C

EDITOR’S PICK

Bobbi Brown Vitamin IT Cosmetics Confidence No7 Laboratories Dark Murad Vita-C Eyes Dark Kiehl’s Powerful Strength Noble Panacea Absolute Enriched Eye Base, £34 in an Eye Cream, £32 Circle Corrector, £28 Circle Corrector, £56 Vitamin C Eye Serum, £41 Restoring Eye Cream, £222 (bobbibrown.co.uk) (boots.com) (boots.com) (marksandspencer.com) (feelunique.com) (harrods.com)

52 The Times Magazine Style

For men SIMON HILLS

Going for green Tommy Hilfiger is the latest brand to go green, with lots of sustainable targets in its Make It Possible programme. It’s kicked off with this padded peacoat, far left, £355, in recycled wool from used textiles, and hooded canvas parka, left, £330, in recycled polyester. A checked flannel shirt, LASt FROM tHE PASt below left, £115, and corduroy Grenson has revived the boots worn by Richard E Grant’s trucker jacket, below right, £190, character in Withnail & I. both use certified organic cotton Using lasts from the original 1987 film, the Balmoral boot, (uk.tommy.com). £450, is made from cognac calf on a single leather sole and is made “skin to box” in Northamptonshire. The boots will take some wearing to get them to the state Withnail’s were in, though (grenson. com/uk).

bESt FOOtwEAR FOR LOckdOwn By Hannah Skelley

SMARt tRAinERS 1 2 3 4 5 5 reasons we love...

1. £120, Reiss. 2. £88, Paul Smith. 3. £109, Ted Baker. 4. £185, Russell & Bromley. 5. £90, Dune. Oppo A53 budget bRiGHt tRAinERS 6 7 8 9 10 smartphone 1. It has a bright 90Hz neo- display and up to 120Hz touch sampling rate… 2. …plus a £120, Ralph Lauren. £105, Veja. £70, Vans. £65, Converse. £80, Nike. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 5000mAh large battery and SHORt wELLiES 18W fast charge. 3. It has a Qualcomm Snapdragon octa- core 460 processor and 4GB 11 12 13 14 15 RAM. 4. There’s 64GB UFS 2.1-based storage, expandable to 256GB through a 3-card slot. 5. It looks pretty good for the price, with a 3D iridescent wave 11. £150, Original Muck Boot Company. 12. £71, Everlane. 13. £135, Stutterheim. 14. £95, Hunter. 15. £89.95, Barbour x Norse Projects. design (£159; oppostore.co.uk). 12 EVERLANE.COM; 13 STUTTERHEIM.COM; 14 HUNTERBOOTS.COM; 15 BARBOUR.COM 14 HUNTERBOOTS.COM; 13 STUTTERHEIM.COM; 12 EVERLANE.COM; STOCKISTS: 1 REISS.COM; 2 PAULSMITH.COM; 3 TEDBAKER.COM; 4 RUSSELLANDBROMLEY.CO.UK; 5 DUNELONDON.COM; 5 DUNELONDON.COM; 4 RUSSELLANDBROMLEY.CO.UK; 3 TEDBAKER.COM; 2 PAULSMITH.COM; 1 REISS.COM; STOCKISTS: 11 MUCKBOOTCOMPANY.CO.UK; 10 NIKE.COM; 9 CONVERSE.COM; 8 VANS.CO.UK; 7 VEJA-STORE.COM; 6 RALPHLAUREN.CO.UK;

The Times Magazine 53 LIFESTYLE LIFESTYLE LIFESTYLE LIFESTYLE TOM JACKSON works house’ inour cheerful? Making cheerful? © TimesNewspapers Ltd, 2021. Publishedandlicensedby TimesNewspapers Ltd, 1London BridgeStreet, London SE19GF(020 7782 up rude lyrics to lyrics up rude famous songs. It songs. famous Robert Crampton Robert ‘Reasons to be ‘Reasons tobe Beta male Beta Saturday Night Fever or asliceofcheddar in whenhedidhisstuff John Travolta wasn’t holding apieceoffruit white suit. And only withoutthethree-piece sky Travolta thing on“apple” and“chezzie”, doing onefinger pointing thatbumout, to the accompany thesong withafew dancemoves, My Obviously, howtheylaughed. I’d dayfoil was theygot ablockofevery chezzie. insilver product thatdairy were concerned, I’d warble “chezzie” instead. to song thatdidn’t invent aridiculous scan. itdoesn’t because beridiculous andit’d scan Stayin’ Alive I like I’dsing, falsetto, appleandcheese!” to “You tell can by theway Iusemy walk that newlyrics. taking acatchy tuneandinserting family members.Most though,involved ofit, impersonations ofneighbours, teachers and Samat whichto entertain andRachel. podium asanimprovised of thatpromontory dad,however,to Imade late good thirties) use got ridofit.Asayoung (ish –Iwas inmy mid the house’s owner, previous we’velong since sticking thekitchen. outacross Inherited from “a had whatIbelieveiscalled breakfast bar” I made theirpacked At lunches. thattimewe while school before eatingtheirbreakfast be small,they’d wereWhen thechildren very Sinatra, was abig hitlast spring, directed to beremarkably flexible. Ialsofind and crucified. Apart crowds, football whentherewerefootball crowds, Aswith thescale. hasgone off melodies overpopular inserted absolute garbage crudely past months,though,theoutputof These do many thesame. families – I’mguessing ofmy motoringcriticisms skills.Orlack of. bitingtune masked ofincreasingly aseries end ofmy timebehindthewheel.Thejaunty triphastened the onthatvery my near-misses me to drive someof thecar, ofcourse.Infact, won’t go there,butBob will!” roady Bob! Honing hisskills!Otherpeople mountains ofCrete. Thatgave riseto, “Off- anddroveago, into acar thewild wehired in agood moodonholiday. Once,30years Camptown Races Nicola wouldchildren wereborn, rework The childrendidn’t mind.Asfarasthey involvedSome ofmy act defamatory The pointis,we’vealways sung sillysongs Those werethedays whenshe still allowed back, beforeGoing evenfurther the are popular candidates to beadapted arepopularcandidates Guantanamera . Except Ididn’t say “cheese”, withnewwords to keep me

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Heaven Is Friends .