CHICAGO’S FREE WEEKLY SINCE | DECEMBER JANUARY
theater music & film Previews 28 Reviews 21
Flash fi ction
By A BABJCG C SC-JAEK G J GJG H HJKA KMK BLM L V LAM C M JNBPS SMS DS S NS E S FTRV MW J WR S Y4 THIS WEEK CHICAGO READER | DECEMBER JANUARY | VOLUME NUMBER
FEATURES
FLASH FICTION A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR Tell us a really, really short story
MYFIRSTAPPEARANCE in the Reader—following all that work o to copy editing, illustration, and Chicago’s best extremely short fi ction of 2018 a few decades as a devoted reader—was in a fi ction layout. B V4 issue, and it always struck me as a fantastic way The fi nal days of sending a publication to press to round out a year of alternative newsweeklies. are traditionally a grind, and trying to get an issue Of course to do it right we would have had to have out before the winter holidays is spectacularly planned it several months in advance, but Karen stressful. The proofi ng process is not the funnest Hawkins—our digital managing editor—and I had part of print publishing: tiny text you’ve read far both just started by the time it became clear, in early too many times and can no longer see mistakes in, November, that no fi ction issue had been scheduled digital jags that throw o entire pages in the fi nal for 2018. (To be fair, there were some real questions hour. Suddenly words stop making sense, or you about the Reader’s future in general.) can’t remember why you thought a story was ever a What to do? We wanted to read fi ction, and we good idea in the fi rst place. know you people love to write it. Was there a way, in But proofreading this issue was a total joy. A ton far too short of a time span, to get in a whole mess of of great, very short fi ction, written by you, people good writing, read through it all, and select the best who live in or love this city from afar. Each story entries for publication before the end of the year? retains its own distinct style and voice—we allowed Within 24 hours a call for submissions to an ex- some formatting inconsistencies between stories to citing new endeavor—a fl ash fi ction issue!—went preserve this uniqueness. Most of us were caught out. Entries of 500 words or fewer. It was our only while proofi ng by how moving some of the stories rule! (Besides that submissions be original and pre- are, or how funny, after the strain of judging them viously unpublished, although that’s a little more had passed. Chicago itself becomes a frequent char- legal butt-covering than a “rule.”) Within about 25 acter, and the city’s impact on its writers is clear. hours, a steady stream of extremely short stories This city nourishes you. started rolling in. We accepted submissions for only We’re delighted to bring the work of these writ- a week—so we could select the best of them, copy ers to our pages in this double issue. (Remember! edit, and get them illustrated before the end of the No new Reader next Thursday!) Luckily you’ll have year—and received over 230 entries total (a full 10 all the concert, theater, and fi lm reviews you need to percent of them in the actual fi nal hour). get by during the week we take o . There was fun stuff in there. Our first read- Unfortunately, our last issue dropped a few lines through gave us a pool of nearly 90 pieces from from a theater review of Witch by Justin Hayford; it which we would select a fi nal batch for print publi- is available online in its entirety. An image in City cation. Flash fi ction is tricky: it’s such a short form, Life was also printed sideways, although that was a writers hold back when they shouldn’t, or focus test to see if you were paying attention. (You were!) exclusively on narrative. A good balance of story, And we neglected to mention one of the coproduc- descriptive detail, and thoughtful consideration of ers of HeLa, by Sideshow Theater Company and form is difficult in stories of any length. But jam- Greenhouse Productions. ming all that into 500 words or less takes real talent. With that, we’ll leave you to the fl ash fi ction issue, Finding that talent takes e ort. We had sta read and the 30 tiny worlds each story contains. You will each of those 90-ish pieces and vote, so that each recognize some of these worlds, fi nd others infuri- piece was read, and voted on, three times. We then ating, and learn to love more than one of them. Then selected a fi nal 30 stories based on those with the when you see us again, it will be a new year. And you most votes for print publication, and another fi ve won’t believe what we have in store for you for 2019. for digital publication, just to be extra. Then we sent —AE M
2 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll THE THIS WEEK M E X I C A N
1 9 6 7 TR IN THIS ISSUE - @ celebrating
P TB E C AEM ME PSK ME DKH KS 51 D E CL SK DP JR CE AL ME PM AE JL SWDI ARTS&CULTURE BJ M S YEARSYEARS 21 Theater LaRuta presents compelling SW snapshots of life in Ciudad Juárez Fiddleron MD LG OPEN 7 SM E BW days a week theRoofsatisfi es everybody’s yeideldeidel MLC needs BurningBluebeard commemorates the LC until X- mas Iroquois Theatre catastrophe and more FLC P F 23 Movies The gonzo antibiopic Vice T AE please for captures our attention Cam’s real horror is CS ☎ whorephobia and a Transformers prequel that CD AE BDC Extended just steps from the LC I GA G Dempster “L” stop lets you bask in how stupid the story is J H J H IH DJ holiday hours MK SK MM BMSM JRN M O LP J PBS KS 847-475-8665 DSKW AW ------801 Dempster Evanston DD JD DPE&P K K OM SNL
ADVERTISING MUSIC&NIGHTLIFE -- - @ C @ 28 Shows of note Riley Walker DKV Trio Vic Spencer Noname and the Screaming SMPF Females promise to send off with a bang SAR AM and start right AR LM-H NS CLASSIFIEDS CR M T P 36 Jobs 36 Apartments & Spaces NA 36 Marketplace VM G--- JL SB 37 Savage Love Even the kinky need some ------good oldfashioned relationship advice 38 Erykah Badu Empress Of DC Early Warnings [email protected] and Van Morrison announce new shows Billy -- Brag Cannibal Corpse Mariah Carey Neko STMREADERLLC Case Wanda Jackson and the Coathangers B P DRL are all upcoming TER S J S 38 Gossip Wolf Isaiah Sharkey takes a break A-S V from his inprogress album to play Chop Shop Humboldt Park Orchestra celebrates women CCEB in salsa at Alhambra Palace and a benefi t for ------sexual violence prevention group Resilience R ISSN - comes to Burlington STMR LLC SM SC IL --
C ©C R P C IL OI L F FF’ A C R R RR T ® ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 3 Flash fi ction Extremely short stories of 500 words or less
4 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll come back by soon and I’m sure they could her. Meanwhile, Felicia sat across from the work that out for you. It might change the ab- two, relieved the little one didn’t miss a beat sorption rate, but you might fi nd it easier. The and trip. She sat feet crossed, wishing not needles are much smaller.” another soul would sit by her. She placed her Outside it was spitting rain and the wind tote bag to her right. Five PM rush was hell had picked up, swirling orange-gold leaves enough without someone elbowing her side to through the cool gray mist, which fluttered numbness. and fell to the ground, clumping in soggy Nonetheless, people were clearing out. The brown piles. I stood wrapped inside my scarf, train was going farther south, and she began waiting for the bus. Eight minutes, waiting. to have room to breathe again. It looked more Always waiting. Waiting to stop being mis- like 10 PM than fi ve. gendered. Waiting for the hair to stop growing “CDs, loosies, smell-goods!” yelled another on my face. Waiting for my breasts to come. man draped in lime green. He paraded his Waiting for my thighs to grow. Waiting for my merchandise left to right for his potential LYDIA FU
DANIEL FISHEL refl ection to change. Waiting. Waiting to feel patrons to see. A long rush of wind from his pretty. Waiting to be wanted. Waiting to fall in push through the emergency door pressed love. Waiting. Waiting to get over heartbreak. most people past interest in even seeing what Waiting. Waiting to have a vagina. Waiting. he was selling. Most just looked back at their Lemon Layer Cake Waiting Waiting to not feel like a man anymore. Wait- phones, but a few had to get their fi x. By S NS By C M ing to feel like a real woman. Waiting. “Ay man! Over here!” one man yelled, then The bus appeared at the intersection just an abrupt stop. before the stop where I was standing. Sudden- The overhead blared, “Attention passen- IWONDERIFlemon layer cake is the appropri- I WAITEDINa small white room, in bright ly, feeling incapable of being in close proximity gers, attention passengers, we only have one ate fl avor for a dead man’s birthday, but who’s white light, for close to 20 minutes. I fi dgeted, to so many people, I turned right and started rail available due to crews working on the really going to tell me otherwise? crossing and uncrossing my feet, checking o in the direction of home. v tracks. We should be pulling o in a few min- Damon and I didn’t know each other long my refl ection in Snapchat, scrolling through utes. We appreciate your patience. Thank you enough to celebrate a birthday together, but Instagram on my phone without purpose. The for riding the CTA.” The operator sounded I’ve still baked him a triple-layer lemon cake smell of antiseptic fi lled the room; posters for like she was reading from a sheet of paper on the last day of September for the past half PrEP and HIV testing shared the walls with verbatim. decade. You’d think that after this long, the diagrams of male and female anatomy. I hated Obscenities fi lled the railcar. The teenager measurements would be scrawled across my coming here, but I knew it was necessary and I sat to Felicia’s left; she struggled to hold in a eyelids or etched somewhere between heart was grateful to have somewhere I could go. grumble. She was so annoyed she barely felt and my hands, but at my age memory is a So I waited, and eventually a nurse came in the tap on her shoulder. matter of give-and-take. There’s no telling to draw my blood. He had cinnamon-colored “Hey, uh, can I have some of that popcorn? what part of Damon I’d lose in order to vacate skin and kind features and wore squarish I’m so hungry,” he pleaded. a recipe’s worth of mental real estate. wire-framed glasses. He looked about 30, and She slipped her bag of O-Ke-Doke popcorn I squeeze the lemons with a tenderness that I wondered if we were the same age. We said out of her tote and busted it open. The teen’s I rarely show myself—let alone anyone else— hello to each other, and he got started. eyes went wide as she poured the popcorn in these days, stir the bone-white batter to the I forget how many tubes they need to take at his cupped hands. “Why weren’t there more rhythm of my fi nal words to Damon: “Cheat, once. Six or eight or something like that. I hate places to get real meals o this damn train?” but no mistress.” I recite the words till they needles—but stabbing myself weekly for over Felicia thought. She concluded it wouldn’t ring like a prayer, then till they knock hollow, a year had made this a little easier. matter anyway. and then a few more times for good measure. DANIEL FISHEL As he was fi nishing up and putting a Band- The train finally made it to the Dan Ryan. The wedge of cake I deem presentable Aid on my arm, I recalled my last injection. It The teenager mumbled “Ay miss thank you sweats beneath a tent of plastic wrap as the took two shaky tries and ended with me feel- again” as he downed the snack and walked to 77 bus rips eastward through the guts of ing nauseous on the fl oor in my bathroom. So Red Ahead the exit doors. our old—still my—neighborhood. Past the then I asked him, “Do you know how I might By J G “No problem. Glad you said something,” she bar where we traded clammy handshakes, go about switching to smaller needles for my responded. tall tales, and half-truths, then a couple key weekly injection? It’s been intramuscular so The train pushed forward and a group of bumps. A rolling stop within eyeshot of far, but I fi nd it di cult sometimes and wanted “LOOSE SQUARES LOOSE squares!” rang passengers gathered around the exit doors in the record store where we hawked half our to try sub-q instead.” through the aisle. competition, like they just might miss the stop combined collection to pay the Peoples bill “Do you inject estrogen or testosterone?” he “Boy, if you don’t bring yourself back over if they weren’t at the doors before the train during the Polar Vortex or Snowpocalypse asked. here,” said a middle-aged woman with long took its fi nal halt. or whatever the world decided to name that “Estrogen,” I replied quietly. twists fl owing from her roots. The wide-eyed Felicia let the group clear before she rose year of three-dog nights. Toward the taqueria “Right, that’s thick stuff. I bet it can be little boy tried to run farther down the el car from her seat. Scrambling through folks where we inhaled tortas ahogadas so fast that tough. How do you go about injecting it?” when a teenager in a pu y jacket slightly stuck wasn’t worth the stress. She still ran into the the ruddy red sauce ricocheted onto my $14 “I used to do it in my thigh, but I switched to his Js out in front of the toddler and said “Hey masses anyway, meeting the brittle breeze. Village Discount wedding dress, but it barely my glutes because it seemed less painful.” little man” with a smile. She could barely walk through the platform. mattered because we were legally obligated to “Right. Well, your doctor isn’t in today, but He ran back to his mom and snuggled beside New station, same 95th Street. v clean up each other’s messes. J ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 5 continued from 5 or relay the essential features of seatbelt safe- When I amble up to the last square foot of ty with winking double entendre and ironic the world worthy of Damon’s memory, I’m sexy lunging. not alone. A woman swaddled in a camel Every few minutes, a loud computerized trench coat stands just beyond my stake of the chime tolled over the PA system, and a nonhu- shoreline and meets meets my gaze. The guilt man voice reminded us to report all foreign, that cloaks her face is as plain as the contours unattended packages to our nearest airline of her wind-bitten cheeks, the teary glint in representative immediately. Sometimes an- her eyes. I need not ask her name; her face other voice, charmingly human, would cut in answers every question I was about to ask the to announce an item that had been left behind waves beneath me. at security: headphones, a belt, something I peel the wrapping o the cake and present either so precious or so salacious they claimed it to the horizon like a child begging for Com- they could not name it over the loudspeaker. munion. I toss the slice, porcelain plate and I asked a young mother sitting across from all, into the swell. The waves swallow it whole, me if she would watch my bags while I got up barely leaving a wrinkle across the bruise- to get a Diet Mountain Dew. When I returned, colored waters. the woman was coaxing her son into spitting I wait to hear the name that colored Da- out a recently consumed left AirPod. mon’s fi nal breath. I wait for the sea to bring Though I found my own luggage unmoved, I me something, anything in return. v noticed a box beneath the bony-ass Christmas tree beside me that hadn’t been there before, a box wrapped in shiny yellow paper with a red bow. Hurdles I waved, trying to catch the young mother’s By E S attention, and asked, with profuse midwest- ern apology, if she had happened to see the package sitting there before. EVERY NIGHT CASEY would lie in bed “What package?” She narrowed her eyes touching herself as she devised the next plot and pulled her son closer. twist. She didn’t know which she liked better, RACHAL DUGGAN I gestured to the package under the tree, concocting at night, sometimes for hours at a apologized again, and emphasized that I didn’t time, or writing it out the next day, a reward taller ones. Afterward, those who were most When she fi nally spoke, the words came into mean to cause alarm. and consolation after PE. Whenever she start- dexterous with curling irons emerged from her mouth from somewhere outside her body. “Alarm?” an older woman cawed, spinning ed to feel weird or bad about it, she’d reach the locker room with hair at full bounce. Casey “It’s not finished,” said Casey. “Don’t you around. She stood up and pointed her large between the bed and the wall and retrieve the was great at neither Hurdles nor hair. Study want to know what happens?” index fi nger like an Irish setter. “Are you sug- stolen copy of Flowers in the Attic that was hall was right after, and she would suck on a *** gesting that’s a foreign, unattended package?” wedged there, a reminder that everybody read long strand, still wet from the shower, while Casey sat down in study hall and tore out Many gasped. The phrase “foreign, unat- books like this. Constantly. Sitting at McDon- she wrote. the 20 pages she had written. She handed tended package” began to circulate through- ald’s. Wherever. The night before, Casey had decided to them to Amber and Blake, who sat beside her, She had started writing a month ago in write herself into the story. She couldn’t wait reading. Casey found a blank page, pulled her study hall, inspired by Amber and Blake, to start: The popular kids dare Casey, the quiet hair back, and started to write. v popular kids from one table over. Casey some- new girl, to demonstrate her best passionate times spent the entire period watching them. kiss on Tyler Sizemann as a cruel joke. But Blake would slide Amber a note, and her head guess what? Joke’s on them. would go down into her hands, her shoulders Behind her, a voice said, “Hey, I like your Unattended Packages convulsing in silent laughter. Casey wondered pornographic book. I bet everybody will.” All By MW what it would feel like to be made to laugh that the sound in the locker room sucked itself hard. She picked up her pen and wrote what down to a pinpoint. Casey froze, hunched for- she imagined their whispered conversations ward in her unnecessary bra. IWASHUNKEREDdown at Gate C21 next to a to be. Those dialogues blossomed into what “You think I don’t see you staring at me in very pathetic-looking Christmas tree—patchy, were now 20 blue-inked pages—an erotic fan- study hall like some pervert?” it said. When weak light job, zippo presents. The agent tasia of middle school romance starring most Casey turned to look, her assignment note- behind the desk was singing—o -key and to of the A-list and a few B-list popular people by book shot into the air, dangling from Amber’s the tune of “Good King Wenceslas”—that our name. hand, a million miles up. fl ight had been delayed another 30 minutes. *** “Who should I show this to fi rst? Mr. Nee- These days, airline companies know that every The eighth-grade girls were deep in a PE ley? Blake? My mom?” Amber asked. Casey customer interaction teeters on a razor-thin unit called Hurdles. It involved both actual considered jumping for it, a dog lurching for a edge between viral-marketing sensation and RACHAL DUGGAN hurdles and tires to be penetrated with a high- treat she’d never get. She considered stabbing disaster. Thus, fl ight attendants increasingly knee quickstep that aggressively favored the Amber in the stomach with a curling iron. serve ginger ale and peanuts while beatboxing 6 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll night time meditation video therapy Chicago parents divorce best child therapists Chicago best therapists single moms celebrity single moms Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie current Angelina Jolie current kids Brad Pitt kids Brad Pitt new girlfriend Rihanna weight gain best women friendly porn v
Untitled RACHAL DUGGAN By M L
MAKE SOMETHING UP on your resume, Olivia this afternoon picking up a shipment. Can you said. It’ll be fine, she said. And then you’ll have handle the shop alone?” a job. Now would be the time to raise an objection, Well, Tammy had a job, all right. It paid to ask Ozzy if he could explain what Tammy $12 an hour and even gave her an employee was supposed to be trying to sell. All she knew discount. was some things were magical, some things The discount would be handy if only she were dangerous, and she hadn’t the faintest knew what any of this shit did. “That’s the last idea which was which. But she smiled and gave time I’m listening to Olivia,” Tammy muttered, in to the illusion that everything was under forcing a tepid smile as the doorbell chimed. control. “Welcome to Ozzy’s Emporiu—oh.” No cus- “Good.” Ozzy winked. “I’d expect nothing
DANIEL FISHEL tomer, but the proprietor himself. less from my star employee.” “Tamarind! Good to see your smiling face.” “I’ve worked here less than an hour.” “Ozzy,” said Tammy. Ozzy had invented a “I know it when I see it.” He swiftly unlocked out the C terminal. All eyes turned toward Hits score of nicknames for Tammy in the short his office door with an old brass key. “Oh, the loathsome tree and me, standing beside By AB time they’d known each other. Tammy did not Bayon might be by later.” it. Four TSA agents and a German shepherd appreciate being compared to a legume, but it “Bayon?” pushed through the crowd and fl anked us. how to be happy when you hate your kids was leagues better than Thomasina. “He covers weekends.” A crisp straw boater “What’s going on here?” the lead TSA agent how to— “How’s business? Has the cash register now flattened Ozzy’s hair. “House rules: al- barked. ways to occupy your kids begun to overfl ow?” Tammy would not put it ways answer the phone, lock up if you need to “Foreign, unattended package,” I muttered. post partum depression years later past Ozzy to have a cash register that over- leave, and—” The TSA agent reached down, picked up the how long can post partum last fl owed, but whatever it overfl owed with would “Don’t go in the basement.” package, and, to my horror, began to open the natural remedies for post partum surely not be money. “That’s the ticket.” lid. There was a bright fl ash as an explosion of chicken taco recipe “Only two customers. Tourists, from Ohio, I “And if I need to get ahold of you . . . ?” green and red confetti sprayed into my face. best kids books 2018 think.” “I trust that you can handle any situation Twenty minutes later, the o cial TSA Ins- podcasts for kids “Surprising. We’re still in the shoulder that arises, Tasmin.” tagram account posted a split-screen photo cheap ways to move with kids season.” Tammy fi gured this was code for “I’ve never to its 958K followers. One photo showed the how to tell your kids about moving “Maybe they can’t handle the heat?” had a cell phone except maybe a brick from the package bursting its Santa-shaped confetti best kids books 2018 divorce “You could have sold them on this,” Ozzy 80s and I will continue to resist the march of into my abject face. Another showed me arm when do you know if your kid is smart said magnanimously, producing a small crys- technology.” in arm with the four TSA agents and the drug is 2 or 3 kids better tal goblet from a cluttered shelf. “Instantly “I’ll keep that in mind.” dog, all of us clad in festive red hats. best yoga gave birth freezes whatever you drop in. Great at parties. “Ta!” Ozzy tipped his boater and ducked out “It’s not cool to leave a package unattended, bike trailer kids But watch your fi ngers.” the door. even if you’re Santa,” the caption read. “Con- neutrogena anti aging Tammy hummed as the facets caught the Tammy slumped to the counter as he round- grats to the winner of this month’s Aviation good quality anti aging light. Ozzy gently replaced the glass and saun- ed the corner, fi ring o a message to the group Security Samaritan award and happy holidays food near me bar tered over, cap balanced on one fi nger. chat. from the TSA!” best singles bar Chicago “Tamar,” he said, eyes unfocused as the hat TAMMY [9:49:09 AM]: How much do you Instinctively I smashed the like but- dating sites for parents spun and spun. “I know it’s your fi rst day. But I know about magic? v ton—3,097 and counting. v introducing boyfriend kids will be out this morning with buyers, and out continued on 10 ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 7 SPONSORED ADVERTISEMENT faces of A MONTHLY SERIES FEATURING HYDE PARK NOTABLES
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A twenty fi ve year anniversary is a considerable achievement, especially when it comes to Hollywood marriages or restaurants, and owner Trushar Patel has real reason to be proud of his Hyde Park Indian and Southern comfort food cafeteria-style local gem, Rajun Cajun, offi cially in business since 1993. And you can join in the celebration during the entire month of December with a special 25% savings when you dine at the restaurant (takeout and delivery orders not included).
If you’ve never been to Rajun Cajun before, a few their favorite Indian specialties, which kickstarted a knowing they have been made by the same woman things will be evident when you visit the restaurant tradition that continues today – customers sending since the restaurant opened its doors, and won’t be for the fi rst time, including a) it smells delicious, postcards addressed to the restaurant from their changing anytime soon. b) it’s immaculate, c) if it’s not owner Trushar Patel vacations and visits home. When Rajun Cajun was 53rd taking your order, it will be his wife, Anila, or his son, renovated several years ago, a collection of the post- Running the restaurant is a more than full-time Nishil. The family works together at the restaurant, cards was incorporated into a mural on the restau- endeavor for Trushar’s family – all the food is made and as Trushar says, his wife and son are the most rant’s main wall. in-house and each day begins with lots of peeling infl uential people in his life. and chopping of fresh ingredients – nothing is ready- made or from a can. Traditional Indian recipes are Born and raised in Kenya, Trushar came to the Unit- very labor-intensive, and Trushar makes almost ev- ed States in 1979 when he was in his early 20s. He erything himself, just as he learned growing up. The started working as a crew member at McDonald’s, Rajun Cajun menu has something for everyone, with advancing his way up to supervisor – a position he many vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options. It’s held for 16 years. He was on track to have his own become a local family favorite, since kids not adven- franchise location when Nishil was born several turous enough for chicken curry are usually open to months premature. The medical bills for his son’s fried chicken or mac and cheese. care upended those plans, and ultimately led Trushar and his brother Rohit to partner in buying a shut- In honor of the restaurant’s anniversary and with tered chicken restaurant location in Hyde Park now It’s not uncommon for the visiting parents of inter- an eye to the future, Trushar recently worked with a known as Rajun Cajun. national students to ask Trushar and his wife to keep local design company to refresh Rajun Cajun’s logo, an eye out for their sons or daughters, and there are website, menus, and social media presence. It’s now There aren’t many Indian food restaurants 10+ now second-generation customers visiting Rajun possible to order directly from the restaurant online, miles south of Devon Avenue, let alone combined Cajun as well. His fi rst employees are still with the with delivery by Rajun Cajun employees, making with Southern comfort food classics, and when restaurant; a true record for the industry. Trushar sure your saag paneer or butter chicken is just how the restaurant fi rst opened, Trushar had to rely on says, “We treat our customers like family, and that’s you want it. word of mouth, sampling, and recommendations an extension of the way we treat our employees, too. from his fi rst customers to bring in more business. It’s not the typical employer/employee relationship 1459 E. 53rd Street Rajun Cajun built a loyal following with interna- – there’s a lot of trust involved.” And once you fall in (773) 955-1145 tional students at the University of Chicago missing love with Rajun Cajun’s samosas, you can rest easy rajuncajunhp.com
ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 9 continued from 7 tion my girlfriend and not just a model I saw at the hell ketchup should and should not go on, the Wit Hotel o of State/Lake, and besides in thanks to being too busy riding the Holiday In Which I Am a our penthouse with a view of the river around Train all year long.” the corner from Clark/Lake we don’t even have The genie’s eyes had narrowed down to slits. Willing Accessory to to worry about noise complaints, because “There,” I said. “Notice I only said ‘I wish’ the couple downstairs are my best friends once.” Marine Pollution Michelle and Barack and they’re usually out of He shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of By R S Y town working on her presidential campaign, his nose. and whose victory we are going to celebrate at After he snapped his fi ngers, I found myself Pizano’s where each slice has zero calories and walking down the steps of the Washington/ DANNY’SGRANDMOTHERPULLSo at anoth- is what I’d eat every day instead of Gold Coast Wells stop on my way to the Civic Opera, er scenic viewpoint. The sky threatens snow. Dogs, which is not even in the Gold Coast but it where I was about to perform my first aria. She gets out, shakes her head—an Antoinette- doesn’t matter, because we’d have stopped ar- Natasha and the genie met me backstage. esque pink tower of hair, and jerks the pickup guing about hot dog-related things, like what “OK,” he said. “Two more.” v back into drive. RACHAL DUGGAN
Loophole By BP
“IWISHIcould get on the Brown Line at Quin- cy and not have the train smell like pee, but wait: it wouldn’t smell like pee, and I could get a seat; then when we got to LaSalle/Van Buren no one—who are we kidding: a dude, it’s always a dude—would sit next to me and manspread me into a half-seat-sized person, so that when we stopped at Harold Washing- ton Library-State/Van Buren I could focus on how I don’t have a stack of overdue books that I keep forgetting to return and instead are racking up fines on my nightstand so as we came close to Washington/Wabash, when a group of tourists asked me if this was the stop for ‘the art museum,’ I wouldn’t even feel like correcting them with a ‘you mean the Art In- stitute?’ full of attitude; instead, I would be ex- ceedingly helpful, so much so that they would offer me their unused tickets to Hamilton, which I would politely refuse, because I would have already seen it at least once because Lin-Manuel Miranda asked me to audition after noticing me singing karaoke at Brando’s Speakeasy, totally sober, and I was—no, had always been—a great singer my entire life, and never would my neighbors have sent me a politely worded e-mail asking that I watch the volume of ‘my shower-time activities,’ which meant my singing even though it sounds like a term for shower sex but it’s not, not at all, not because I’ve been single for six months thanks to my wife vanishing one day like the Ran- dolph/Wabash stop but because I live with a
very attractive Ukrainian who is without ques- LYDIA FU 10 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll Buckled into the front seat is Danny’s grand- arms out over the railing. tions about people I don’t know, or people I father, cremated and in a milky-white urn. And drops the whole thing out and over. haven’t seen in a while: We’re taking him to this place he used to go “Nana—” Danny says, craning over the rail He has not e-mailed back for a week; he cli diving. How he and Annie met, apparently. to see the urn disappear in the surf. must hate me. I’m picturing a 20-something Annie—head “Welp, that’s done.” Annie brushes her No one has praised my work all year; I’m a towering stack of pink braids, dressed in a hands o on her pants and pulls Danny’s arm going to be fi red. frilly one-piece, toes pointed like a ballerina— over her shoulders. That house is a dump, a blue tarp covers a winking at another 20-something with his hair Mist from the sea freezes on our faces and in yawning hole on its side, and a school bus is greased back. Annie’s tower of hair. After a moment, Danny parked out back; I must be better than they are. The plan is to scatter him over the edge. pulls her in and rocks on the balls of his feet. You’d think I’d know better, growing up the This is all probably illegal. Their eyes close. way I did, with the food stamps and the pea “Thanks for coming along,” Danny says. I feel Annie squeeze my hand and think soup and the blocks of government cheese. “Pops would’ve been 89 next month, but ev- I see a gray mist spin itself into the waves I’d ride with my father in the rust-eaten mail
eryone’s gotta go sometime.” below. v truck past nice houses on Long Island to set up LYDIA FU After too many speed bumps, Annie gets out our booth at the fl ea market, and he’d tell me and checks again. that it’s not about the houses but about who’s She jumps back in, shaking her head. inside, goddamnit. sponse to me, my relentless being. I stretched “Next one.” My wife scampered up the hill across the my eyes and looked harder. For a moment, I “You know, they raised me, Nana and Pops. road from the house to snap these photos felt close. The film glazing my eyes seemed Never known anyone who worked so well to- years ago. There was a moment during her like a good sign. gether. I wanted someone like that for me, you reconnaissance mission when I thought he Then I heard my brother’s scream. Curved know?” might be standing at the window, stricken metal jabbed my ribs. The pool hook almost I nod. with cancer, resigned that she was another tore my suit as he dragged me vaudeville-style “You in a relationship?” he asks. neighbor gathering evidence against him. toward the side. “Just out of one.” I heard his three grown kids are doing well, I twisted away, flipping wet hair from my “Oh, that’s rough. Had you guys been to- holding down jobs, making regular money. eyes. “What was that for?” gether long?” I imagine him on his deathbed, set up next Isaiah looked blurry through the chlorine “Five years.” to that window so he can see his horses. fi lm. “I thought—” he said. “Wow.” He looks out over the highway to the That brown one is looking right at my wife I knew what he thought. For him, death was ocean. “Wow.” As though fi ve years is longer as she takes the picture, and if you look at the dull but fi nal. You were alive or you weren’t,
than the decades his grandparents had. DANIEL FISHEL other photo, the horse has turned the other there or gone. I didn’t buy it. Talk skirted After several “next ones,” Annie stops way to look right at her. He knows. death like a surprise party, like a delicate again. She stands outside for a few minutes, The horses aren’t there today. The weeds tinted crystal. I had to know why. I wondered then shu es back to the truck. The Horses are overgrown where their hooves used to sink if we kept death out of our mouths because our “This one.” By FT in the muck. I imagine the family got rid of the tongues would smudge it. We’re right on the edge. I am very impressed horses like people get rid of boxes of clothes of At Isaiah’s insistence, I avoided pools for with the young Miss Annie Lin. That is a drop. those who went and died on them. a while. Instead, I’d walk Pasha in the after- She won’t let Danny take the urn. ISTOPPEDSOshe could photograph the house But maybe they kept the horses for a while noons. Our cocker spaniel could only walk 20 “You weren’t married to him. You didn’t built peculiarly close to the edge of the road to spite the neighbors. Perhaps with all the minutes at a go. Then I’d have to carry him, wash his underwear.” that connects Danville to North Danville, Ver- complaining, some of the proper authorities his head on my shoulder like a toddler. But the I haven’t unbuckled yet. mont. We’d driven past this house a thousand paid them a visit, inspected the horses, and last day of July, when I rounded the corner, the “I think I’ll let you have your family times in the nine years we’d been together. found that they were happy. v leash went slack. I heard a cough, a shudder, a moment.” Every time I’d have more questions. high whine, then nothing. I stood alone beside “Nonsense, you get out right now.” With one There’s a barn in the foreground that shel- fur that once wheezed. arm, Annie reaches in and pulls me out of the tered some horses. The snow had buckled the I bent and pressed a hand to Pasha’s ribs. truck. roof, and when I asked about the horses, my The Pool Hook Maybe I didn’t know where a dog’s heart was. We’re at the sill now. Wind’s blowing back at wife said that the worst part of it was the hoof By AE I tried everywhere, found nothing. Pasha’s fur us. When Annie lifts the lid, some of her hus- rot, that the horses were left to walk in a tight, was still soft. His sides weren’t moving. His band fl ies into her face. penned-in area, the surface so muddy their eyes, open, yawned. “Ope, hello again.” hooves would cake in the muck. The neigh- THESUMMERBEFOREsixth grade, I used to I scooped up Pasha and carried him home. Danny’s sputtering and laughing and crying bors, which meant anyone in a 20-mile radius, play dead in pools. I waded into the shallow He was both easier and more di cult to carry a little. worried about the horses, reported it several end, and then I fell forward, and then I’d hang, than before. More docile, denser. We crossed “Nana, let me hold it. You can scatter.” times to the appropriate authorities, whoever sagging toward the bottom. The sun warmed the muddy grass to the edge of the pool. The waves below crash against the blu . She they were. my neck around my ponytail, and I’d squint I don’t know if Dad yelled before or after. In shakes her head. Usually, I’d complain too, and have a little through the chlorine sting toward the bottom. my memory, the yell blooms at the same time “I need to do this,” she says, then turns to disdain for people like these, but my wife told Pebbled. Rough. On a curve I couldn’t trace, as the splash. me. “Would you hold my shoulder?” me the man who owned the house, a husband either up or down. Pasha’s fur spread like algae on the water, I nod. and father of three adult children, had termi- As the water danced, it captured light in his tawny ears tinted green. His tail stuck out She lifts up on her tiptoes, reaches fragile nal cancer. It’s easy for me to make assump- waves and hexagons. Their movement a re- like a rudder. J ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 11 continued from 11 Time was passing. A month came with two amidst the vast structures, the downcast eyes crowd had formed around the puddle of blood Dad ushered me inside, grim. From the back full moons. The same severed bottle remained of the stone saints in the city lot. So much and what looked like pus. Discharge, they said, door, I watched him stand at the pool with his in the same place in the municipal plaza. In- time has passed. So much time has passed, but a miscarriage. “I don’t get paid enough for hands in his pockets. The sun glinted o the side our office, Delores’s face swung toward some days something brings her back—the this,” Paul shouted at no one, as we put on our gray in his hair, the gold disc on Pasha’s collar, me like a gate. dark hole, say, of a single window missing on heavy-duty gloves. v the ladder. I saw Dad’s shoulders move. Then I She’d begun to tell a story. an o ce building’s face. v saw him reach for the hook. Her daughter had complained of the pres- I wondered what Pasha saw at the bottom. ence of a ghost. There was a closet outside of The pebbled hill I’d seen, going both ways at which the girl could feel a di erence in the air. once. Or light refracted in a single strand of Delores divulged—and this would be the sixth Widower v yellow, a focused beam through a prism. fact from her life I know—that Delores had be- By SC-J come, when young, estranged from her father. It was in this closet his ashes were kept. It was his spirit, she said, who haunted her daughter. ITHAPPENEDINthe store before I got there. I have pictured that house many times: Paul was cleaning already and badgered me white, narrow, several levels. From her bed- until I gave up my smoke break and clocked in room, Delores said, she’d heard her daughter early too. The man was a regular, weekly refi ll of scream—outside the closet, a hand had his toilet paper, applesauce, rye bread. Fell into touched the girl’s shoulder—but when the girl an end cap of cans. A pyramid of corn and beans had turned, no one was there. busted onto the fl oor and rolled into produce. Was the presence, Delores asked, a man’s or “They called it a ‘widowmaker,’” Paul said, “but a woman’s? The girl said a woman’s. It was at they said his wife died last year, right? So he LYDIA FU this point in the story that Delores turned and was a male widow—with a widowmaker?” looked at me. The girl, she said, had given the “Widower,” I said. “A male widow is a A Blessing and a ghost a name. She’d named it Chardonnay. widower.” Not long after she told this story, Delores We work overnight shift and always have to Curse left. She’d become, it was explained, unre- clean up some sort of crap. Mostly dumping By RV liable. One morning she stood up from her out stinky diapers from the back bathroom desk and said, simply, “It is irrelevant that I or fi nding a whole bunch of caps and needles cannot do this,” choked out a laugh, and left. In and then spray-bleaching the hell out of every- IDIDN’THAVEthe language for it at the time, hindsight I believe she meant to say “evident,” thing. Every once in a while, something like but the uptick in limpias de huevo after I had RACHAL DUGGAN but her specifi c phrasing has never left me. It this happens out front. Two years ago, a girl accidentally left the photo of a semi-nude returns, sometimes, before I sleep. who looked like Mr. Johnson’s daughter ran male model up on the family computer sat The meaning of this story is not entirely out the back door as the alarm was going o , with me like a intervention. “Calvin klein un- The Accountant clear to me. Delores, the small room we shared and by the time Paul called me to get there, a derwear model” was the Google search that By G C had betrayed me while I was in the bathroom jerking o . When I returned, he was still there, thumbs hooked under his waistband, his body THEREHADBEENa change in my life. propped up against an assemblage of lumber. I had taken a position in an o ce in the city, I was hard in my Hanes. The plate of plátano on the eighth floor of a tall building plotted rebanado delivered by her liver-spotted hands amidst the rise of many other tall buildings. let me know that she had been there in my ab- From the outset I must admit that at that time, sence. She had seen. I felt that something urgent—though I do not She approached me within the week, wait- know what, or from whom—was trying to be ing until I was distracted with my Nintendo 64. communicated to me. Each day I entered the I was lucky that the ladies of Primer Impacto office, I saw Delores. She arrived before me, hadn’t already persuaded her into confi scating and stayed until I left. In that way she became the system, adding it to her list of things that a bookend to my hours allotted to the o ce: I were del demonio. entered the narrow room; she held me for that My adventures with Spyro the Dragon were time; and I was released. an essential escape for me as the awkward, There are fi ve facts I can o er with certainty gay kid in junior high—days when gym classes about her life: She was an accountant. She be- ran as long as the list of things I didn’t have lieved in ghosts. She had a strange saying: The in common with the white kids at Saint Via- truth about cats and dogs, it went, is I never tor: sunburns, athletic inclinations, summer had a life. She was a mother to a daughter, and trips to Lake Geneva. I wasn’t part of the Old had a grown son who lived at home. She drank, Irving Park crew—I grew up in Avondale, the it was clear to me, though it became clear by mention of which raised as many questions as
small degrees. RACHAL DUGGAN the pronunciation of my last name, long before 12 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll the beards appeared when Honey Butter Fried the counter and headed across the fairway. Denton waited until Fletcher was gone and explain. She just knows she has to leave, has to Chicken replaced La Finca on the corner of It was cool and quiet in the trees. His bag tore the book in two. v fl ee this continent, has to travel far from home. Elston and Roscoe. stood at the foot of a pine; his ball sat nearby. There was always a November in my soul. Padre nuestro, que estás en el cielo, san- No sign of the caddy. Denton crouched over He drops her at the airport with four over- tificado sea tu nombre . . . She crossed the the ball and peered through the foliage, con- stuffed duffel bags, full up with clothes and threshold, not bothering to knock fi rst or say sidering his shot. “Bullshit.” He made sure he Telephone Call From shoes and books; she wears a brown velour hello. She wielded an egg, tracing delicate cir- was alone and, getting to his feet, plucked up tracksuit but hasn’t expected to feel this par- cles through the air, processing forward with the ball. A voice came from the sky. Istanbul ticular sadness. She hasn’t known how much stooped back and a sheen across her lenses. “Rules of golf, rule 18. Ball at rest moved.” By S S she could love, perhaps, until that moment, My wide eyes darted back and forth between Denton looked up. His caddy sat on a branch waiting in security. He is back in his Toyota, her and the TV as I mashed buttons and gritted 30 feet above him, legs dangling, a small book on I-90, and she’s here with bags and strang- my teeth. The treasure on-screen distracted open in his hand. THEYGETHITCHEDunder his family chuppah ers and the dread of early-aughts post-9/11 me, her serape was already touching my bare “Article 2. Except as permitted by the rules, in the window of a storefront theater in Ander- protocols. skin, and so I gave in. The other dragons would when a player’s ball is in play—” sonville, the same neighborhood where they’ll Later, when it is over, he writes: I didn’t thank me later. “Very funny. Very clever.” Denton dropped live with the baby, born two years later. There want her until she told me she was leaving I stared straight ahead, squeal-murmuring the ball. “There. Now get down and do your are candles and flowers, and strangers walk our city, moving to an unstable foreign coun- like the last air leaving a balloon as she ran job.” by, gawking; the woman wears a long dress. A try straddling two continents. I didn’t want the cold egg across my limbs. She paid special The caddy sighed. “I’m afraid I may have to week later, she’ll move to Istanbul and the man her until I imagined her moving between the attention to my neck, gently carving switch- take this to Fletch, sir. As I’m sure you’re aware, will stay here; but that night, they sing along European and the Asian side, her face on two backs into the back of my skull, haunting my cheating is not taken lightly at Wildwood.” to Tom Waits. continents. ears with her incantation. If I had been the Kevin Fletcher was the club pro—a man of A month earlier, scanning items for a reg- A flight attendant hands her a Turkish only grandson, they would have taken me to integrity, well respected, and a damn good istry, a salesgirl asks the woman, “But what breakfast. Clotted cream, simit, tea. She would see Father Alejandro with so much at stake. golfer. Denton hated him. if you don’t like it?” She means Istanbul. She live in the lojmanlar, number yermi yeti kat The egg was a mercy. Goosebumps stayed with “Cut the crap and get down here. Five iron, means Turkey. She means a Muslim country. iki; when he arrives, it is snowing. He writes me after she left, taking with her my vibras let’s go.” The woman doesn’t answer. What if? she poems in the guest room of the well-appointed malas and the willpower I needed to defeat The caddy sighed. “OK, but it’ll cost you.” thinks. I’ve not liked many places. She can’t two-bedroom condo, something like the J Gnasty Gnorc. He pulled out Denton’s wallet, evidently lifted The next time I saw her, she carried on as if from its hiding place in his golf bag, and began the encounter had never happened, as if noth- peeling bills from it. “How does $200 sound?” ing had been seen—no blessing needed absent Denton lunged forward and dug his cleats a curse. v into one of the pine’s lower branches. He ascended, clambering from bough to bough, cursing the caddy through gritted teeth. The caddy cackled as Denton’s sunburned scalp rose through the branches, the tree shudder- ing and swaying as if in a storm. Then there was a crack, a crash, and a thud. Denton’s world went blank. When he came to, Kevin Fletcher was stand- ing over him, holding out a hand. Denton took it and the pro hoisted him up. “There we go. You all right? Looks like you
RACHAL DUGGAN had quite a fall.” “I’m fi ne.” It hurt just to brush the pine nee- dles o his ass. The Rules of Golf “Good. Your caddy came and got me.” By J G “My caddy.” Denton reached into his bag, felt his wallet there. “He said you treed your ball. What are the HISCADDYHADbeen fucking up all morning, odds?” Fletcher appraised the tree. “Now, and now he’d disappeared. Denton had hooked I’d have recommended deeming that ball a ball into the trees on ten and sent the caddy unplayable.” after it. There’d been no sign of him since. Now He reached into his back pocket and handed Denton leaned next to the snack cart, out of Denton a small book. “Rules of golf, rule 28.” the sun, squinting at where the boy had gone Denton stared at it. A cartoon golfer grinned into the pines. back, midswing. “Caddy’s asleep today,” he said. The cart girl “That’s your bible,” Fletcher said. “Save you
smiled and nodded. He set an empty Coors on some hardship. OK? Be careful out here.” LYDIA FU ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 13 continued from 13 or have a crumb of breakfast left over in the Hilton, new and shiny and generic. Not home, corner of their mouth. Most recently, this was but a home, he whispers. From the lojman win- an old man with a yellowed collar and knotted dow, she can glimpse the Black Sea. hands clenched around the top of an equally Later, she’ll wish she were him, wish she knotted cane. I sat down right next to him, could recognize the end. Later, she’ll know positioned my feet, and knew right away. I what he knew: better to be the one who leaves ached to rest my head on his shoulder. It was than the one left behind. Later, he writes: She painful. My head weighed a million pounds. It didn’t want me until someone else wanted me. started to drift over, but then I caught the eye And I didn’t want me until someone else want- of the scrappy guy in skate shoes sitting across ed me. from me. I straightened. I realized he might be LYDIA FU Her new friends don’t believe her, don’t thinking I was an alternate version of him. know he is real. It’s a beautiful story: that they I’ve come to realize that the thing with my called out? The wind had been loud, had crack- know they can survive this absence because feet doesn’t help me keep balance when stand- led against the loose window frames. they are married, because they have the rest ing. I realize this and I know nothing of phys- She falls to her knees when she sees the dog, LYDIA FU of their lives together. I would follow you any- ics. Except that I’m infi nitely drawn to you. holds his big head between her hands, lets his where, he says. v *** broad pink tongue wet her face. She’d always You. Things didn’t work, and I told myself it wanted a big dog, and she’s proud of her abili- wasn’t meant to be. I was good at leaving, and ty to keep him under control in the city. Look, In Threes you were good at being left. You didn’t seem to sit. Look, heel. Look at what a good boy, what B A B care. Where I was desperate, you were quiet, a clever boy. calm, never drastic. I’d worn you out. But where is Ivan? You still have not really called. Maybe you’re She thinks out loud—a mugging, a car ac- MYMOTHERISa superstitious woman. She looking at your hands. Maybe you’ve found out cident, or maybe, maybe, Ivan tied the dog up warns me not to drink on full moons, and every where I work and you’ll meet me at the door outside of some cafe while he grabbed a cup of time someone dies she reminds us that death one Tuesday morning. You’ve been watching co ee and the dog pulled loose and now Ivan is comes in threes. I am always writing down my me as I approach. I’m shocked but thrilled. out looking for the dog—yes, that has to be it. dreams and waiting for the third shoe to drop. “Call in sick,” you say. And she calls Ivan’s phone again, where it goes I was 17 when she lost her family in threes. “But I’m already here,” I laugh. straight to voice mail, and she starts to leave a When my great aunt and uncle Kirila died, You don’t laugh. Instead you plead with me message but only gets out a breathy syllable, a we wondered who would be next. Our bets to take a walk along the lake. hissed beginning of hello, before she hangs up. were on my grandmother. Within the month, We walk and sit and run and climb ledges. She sits backward on the couch facing the my mother’s sister fell dead in front of a Penn- Maybe you tell me I’m your ghost, how you lake. The dog has his head in her lap. He can- sylvania casino. We were shocked but fi nally DANIEL FISHEL seek my ghost approval when combing your not believe his luck, to be allowed above the able to breathe. Better her than us. Two days bangs down your forehead or falling in love fl oor. She strokes his ears absently, watching after my aunt’s funeral, my grandmother died Patterns with a new song. The morning light flies off the gray waves fade to the gray sky. in her sleep. I said she died to keep our aunt By BL the waves in splinters. We never touch. Our Her phone vibrates. They have found the company; my mother said it was to iron my heads come close, but there’s an atomic gap body in the lake. aunt’s wings. That made four. I could have between. I want to punch you in the stomach. It’s the windbreaker the woman says she believed my mother was wrong about threes I WOULDN’T CALL myself obsessive- I want to bury my face in your jacket. noticed, a flash of blue in the waves, and if she hadn’t been right about everything she compulsive, but I do have patterns. If I don’t I ride the Red Line home. I keep my feet to- then—horribly—the pale fl uttering of a limp ever said. We knew two more had to go. Our follow them, I get nervous, my skin feels wavy. gether, looking at nothing and no one. v human hand. nuclear family consisted of my sister, mother, Train rides are the worst. Maybe because my Two police officers with legal pads offer and me. My father had died when I was four. mind is free to wander. Music being pumped hushed explanations. The dog chews a bone. It was a train accident. He was on the Amtrak directly into my ears via tiny white speakers The wind crackles the windows. No foul play from Chicago to Cleveland when the conductor while I’m being chauffeured over and under View of the Lake suspected. Strong wind today. Strong current. fell asleep. Only three people died in the crash. the city streets only heightens things. There By MK Strong dog. Our next-door neighbor and our dog-sitter are two things I must do in order to keep my- She stands at the window and faces the lake. happened to be the other two. self settled: The dog whines. Good boy, clever boy, fi nding It wasn’t until I was 16 that my mother let 1. I position my feet exactly one shoe length HERETURNSTOher apartment with his whole his way home. She always wanted a big dog. me get on the el. She made me go alone, forc- apart, one facing forward and the other slight- body vibrating at the joy of being a good boy, a She always wanted a view of the lake. ing my sister on a bus even though we were ly pointed toward the exit I will take. (Doors clever boy, and fi nding his way home. His leash She thinks, as she stares out the window, heading to the same location. open on the right at Chicago and State.) is still attached to his collar, though it is wet that tomorrow when everyone has gone There was a 14-year gap where no one we 2. I fi nd someone on the train whom I deem and discolored from dragging in the streets. she will bring a suitcase of her things to the knew died. In that time, my sister’s high school an alternate version of myself. Sometimes Ivan has not answered his cell phone in over lakefront and drop them in one by one—a English teacher survived pancreatic cancer, this is di cult if it’s not crowded, but usually 12 hours, not since he left this morning in his dictionary, a moccasin, a pair of knit gloves. my mother’s coworker received a heart trans- I can fi nd someone sharing thoughts with me. blue windbreaker, dog tugging him out the She will pay attention to what fl oats and what plant, and I saw the neighbor’s cat get hit by This person can come in any shape or size. I door before he could even kiss her goodbye, sinks, what the water claims and what it gives a car and stroll away. During those years we may know by the way they hold their hands and he had called out—what? What had he back. v felt safe; my mother’s odd tendencies seemed 14 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll to quiet themselves. She still hung what she other a few times before, a test-drive at least. this city, the brick houses, the streetcars. Red claimed was a saint’s bone over the door but Not a Date I was certainly excited for another round; the has been calling out to me since September 22, no longer forced us out of the bathtub when By J W sweat on my palms was nearly as copious as the autumnal equinox, when the brilliant yel- she saw a blackbird. After my grandmother the grease. low of summer raged into fi re right before my died, these traits all came back even worse. What a good thing to have such exuberant eyes, right outside my doorstep where the big Since fate needed two more, we were certain it IT’S NOT A date. We are just going to eat conversation with a friend! maple sheds its blood. would be my sister and me. My mother never greasy food together and converse between And the grease wasn’t too slick, you know, But here’s where it gets wild: said this aloud, but we knew she was thinking bites. it sunk right in. We became soggy with it. She’s a fi re sign, Leo. Seriously. Fire = red. it when she kept us away from each other. No, I didn’t put more pomade in my hair What I mean is that the conversation reached And I, if it isn’t obvious, am a water sign, She thought this would increase our odds of than usual. a nice, penetrative level of depth. None of that Scorpio. Water = blue. Seriously. survival. No, that’s not cologne (it’s my scented surface-level bullshit, slide-right-o -your-ass I am her favourite color (for the time being, For a month our world was made of worry. deodorant). fl oor-wax type of grease—this stu changed at least). Then, one Monday during dinner, my mother Yes, I wear it all the time. the very texture of the words we spoke. And she is my favourite color (indefi nitely). got a call. No, she won’t be coming back here after. Get this: How nice, to have a friend who’s your “Oh God, I’m so sorry to hear that. Please let Yes, you are annoying me. Bye. We talked about our favourite colors. We favorite! me know if we can do anything. Yeah. Good- The food was certainly greasy, I was right talked about our favourite colors in a way that Red and blue make purple, but purple is too bye.” She hung up the only house phone left about that. Just the right amount. Enough I have never talked about color before in my slippery (or else my mind is) for me to make in Chicago and said, “Your cousins Timmy and grease left at the bottom of the fry box so that God-fearing life. We talked about having love anything out of it yet. Purple could be a bruise Tommy died in a car accident.” We were re- you could busy yourself by mopping it up with a airs with colors. (You know how sexuality is or it could be a plum, you just don’t know. Pur- spectfully silent for a moment; then my moth- a finger if there was a lull in conversation. fl uid? So is color orientation. I bet you didn’t ple could be fun and fruity, or it could be the er said, “I always thought they were creeps.” There wasn’t one, though, so it was good that know that.) She’s really into blue these days, apocalyptic sky. The three of us erupted in cheers. My mother the food wasn’t too greasy. Well-balanced has some kind of lapis lazuli LED light in her Staring into my fries, I wondered what kind searched the cupboard for a box cake while my grease, well-oiled, like a machine. room that she’s been staring at for days on end. of purple we’d become if we slipped into each sister popped a dusty bottle of sparkling apple That’s how the conversation went. Smooth And me, I’ve been into red without even realiz- other, platonically. v cider. v as melted halloumi. Felt like we’d ridden each ing it. The autumn leaves, so many maples in LYDIA FU
Melusine by JC
THISSTORYWILLend with a woman swallow- ing the world, as all true stories must. Before that happens, we must ready the woman to be seen. We must prepare her to be spotted by the prince. We must turn her into a
DANIEL FISHEL fair maiden, for no matter how they end, J ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 15 continued from 15 The next morning, beams of sunlight this is how stories begin, with a glimpse of a slipped through the blinds and landed on my maiden. burning eyes as Michael leaned over me and So, here goes. Turn the woman into a maid- whispered “goodmorninggoodbye” in my en. Pull her limbs until they are lean. Lengthen ear. After I heard the click of the front door, I the legs. Soften the arms. Hack o the claws. grabbed our shopping list and slipped out the Stop up the gills. Scrape o the scales. The tail back. By the time Michael’s shift was over, . . . the tail is impossible. We will have to coil all of his belongings were on the snowy curb, it tightly around her waist and hope the bor- neatly packed into Walgreens bags. As he tried rowed skin holds it in place. his key in the new lock, I took a drink of wine The borrowed skin must be supple and pale every time the buzzer sounded. v and unmarked. It must fit closely, and if the woman finds this suffocating . . . well, that can’t be helped. Cinch it tightly. Smooth out any bulges. Now, look at her. Is she ready to be Greenhouse seen? Will she catch the prince’s eye? Let us By JK hope so, for if she doesn’t, this story is going nowhere, this story will never reach its prom- ised end. THEPIPESBURSTupstairs the other day. And There. Set her down in that pretty vale. Sink so soon after we moved in. We shouldn’t be her waist-deep in that sacred spring. Wait for surprised, I suppose. For better or worse, and the prince to happen by. Wait for the prince all. But still. What started as a creeping water to glimpse the maiden, fresh and apparently stain soon became a gentle rainfall, and now scaleless. our home is starting to bloom. There’s moss The prince pulls the maiden from the water. and flowers and tiny ferns everywhere we He forgets, or pretends not to know, that a girl look. is a box that holds a monster. The only thing we had was the couch. It was He makes the requisite promise. a mid-century, one I had found at an estate He places his promise on her tongue in the sale. The woman I bought it from called it an shape of a golden key. heirloom, and she spoke about it in terms of A castle erupts from the ground at the investing, of value retention and appreciation. DANIEL FISHEL maiden’s feet. In this castle are bulging It was stained and sopping after the fi rst night, storerooms and fur-laden bedchambers, the and by night two it was covered in a blanket prince’s reward for making his promise, for Untitled his garbled, foaming sales pitch, studying the of lichens. This is, in a word, alarming. We’ve doing as the story demands. There is also one By K G curve of his back as he bent over the bathroom asked for someone to come in to test the air room in the castle the prince may not enter, sink. for mold, someone who can hopefully stop this a room he has promised not to enter. This Finally, he would turn to me. We made love endless rain. Someone to pry under our tiles room contains a bath, large enough to douse MICHAELVALUEDHIScashiering job at CVS slowly every night and without a condom, and tell us what we have here. a dragon. as if he were an investment banker. His dream since they were rarely on sale. Michael was The growths spread like a bruise. Every day The golden key lies heavy on the maiden’s was to work at the national o ce, despite my the only cure I had ever found for my chronic they eat up more of this place. We had a plan, tongue. It is the weight of this key that pre- insistence that I would rather be dead than insomnia. So long as we made love, I fell asleep you see. Cowhide rugs. His records on the wall. vents the woman inside the borrowed skin live in Woonsocket-where-the-fuck-is-that, sweaty and tingling. Prints, sketches, chairs made from wicker and from breathing holocausts and screaming Rhode Island. Every night, he ironed his em- One winter night, Michael came to bed unin- oak. Things like bread boxes and mason jars as hurricanes. The prince forgets or pretends not ployee polo, then used my straightening iron terested. I slid my hand down his abs beneath cups and artisanal bars of soap. A natural heft to know this. around the collar for an added crispness. I sat the sheets, but an inch from my destination, to everything, a minimization of the type of The only time the maiden removes the gold- cross-legged on our bed, watching him spray a his hand seized mine and brought it back up hokey plastic waste that had subsumed both en key from her tongue is to enter the room. fi ne, even mist of distilled water over the navy to his chest. “Babe, do you remember Tim of our homes growing up. We were committed The only time the woman removes the maid- cotton, following it with the smooth, sweeping from Nebraska?” he asked, continuing before to the idea of living purposefully and beau- en’s skin is to enter the bath. Perhaps there are movement of the iron. Michael would recite all I could answer. “Well, I ran into him today in tifully, of being selective about the things we times when this feels like a meager reward. of the current sales, as if I gave a damn that the Skin Care. He’s a pastor now and we had a long buy. This is not what we planned. The entire In stories, of course, maidens who question Fleet Adult Enema Twin-Pack was 50 cents o . conversation about abstinence before mar- fi rst fl oor is covered in a thick coat of green. the proportions of their rewards do not fare I feigned interest and focused instead on the riage and it started to make sense . . .” Everything is tangled together. We can’t hard- well. Neither do princes, but this does not pre- tautness of the muscles in his ironing arm. His voice trailed o , but I didn’t need to hear ly walk in our own house. vent them from stewing over the things they After 20 minutes, Michael would methodi- the rest. How dare “Two-Timing” Tim bring At night the rain pitter-patters across our do not have, the rooms they may not enter. cally hang his polo on the back of the bedroom his newfound God into our lives? Michael faces so we can’t sleep. Another thing we’ve One day, the prince steals the golden key door and brush his teeth, all the while sharing rolled away from me and began to breathe learned to accept. Our plan folds in on itself from his beloved’s tongue. that the toothpaste was only $1.22 or that I heavily. I o ered this God a deal, praying for like a schoolyard game, the type we made out And you already know how this story should stock up on tampons while the store sleep in exchange for chastity. As Michael’s of paper and wrote the name of our future on. ends. v brand was buy-one-get-one. I su ered through breathing turned to snores, I begged. The plants have taken everything from us, 16 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll chickens thrown from the truck, everything about her is downy, too frail to have ever been alive, let alone to die. She’s pissed her pants and her eyelids are fl uttering. She looks peace- ful. She’s dying. Not looking at anybody, Carl goes, “Think I gave them those quarters.” He walks sideways out of Cheryl’s, like someone who had just stopped spinning and needs to keep his horizon line straight so he doesn’t fall over from dizziness. He starts his car, drives off. The music fades as he turns onto the road. With the silence, the humidity rushes back in. I don’t see Carl anymore after that. I still go to Cheryl’s for a bit. Soon they get an attendant. Always right behind you, hovering over you like a ghost as you pump quarters into the washer. The attendant com- plains that it’s boring. So they get a radio. And then just after that, a TV. And then Cheryl’s is ruined. v LYDIA FU
and we continue to give to them. We buy food door and blast music. Old stu . R&B. Stax. The glass is bent, concave, so everything and fertilizer and scatter it on the fl oor. He’s We’d sit there, backs to the rattle of spin looks farther away. I feel like I’m looking into taken to measuring the heights of the vines. cycles, looking out into the parking lot. a shoebox diorama. Like I’m looking into a We mark their growth on our doorframes with Once a day, a truck drove by stu ed full from reality that hasn’t ever existed.
pencil marks. A day will come when our house the chicken farm down the road. One time, I The sister is in there, her neck broken. The DANIEL FISHEL is swallowed whole by the earth and its ten- saw a chicken fall o and, dazed by how large blood vessels have burst so it looks like she’s drils, and we will sit in dark dirt forever, and the world suddenly was, break its neck on the got a necklace of roses on. Like one of the we will be cared for. v pavement. Vitals On Thursday, two young kids appear out of By MS the sun that flares up as traffic passes. They cross the street and dart through the door, Cheryl’s Laundry waving to Carl like they know him. They start INTHELASThours of your life, the Memori By A K running up and down the aisles, giggling. people came to sit with me at Weiss. I watched “They’re nice kids. Mom lives next door. a machine breathe for you while they told me Works days. No babysitter.” my options. They o ered the memorial biotat- HANDIWASH OUT BY the interstate was We turn back to the window, the heat rising too, the voicebox-hologram combo. I wanted cheaper, $1.25 per load. I prefered Cheryl’s in waves o blacktop. A shriek over the music everything, every scrap of you that I could Laundry on the other side of town. There were sends us running to the kids. keep, but I couldn’t pay for any of it. I stopped no TVs. A true perk. The brother is standing there and can’t talk. listening when they launched into down pay- I’m not sure if Cheryl is a real person. I’ve He can only whimper, staring into the drum of ments and interest rates. never seen her. When I imagine her, she looks a machine like it’s a shark that’s been sawed This spiel had been rehearsed and opti- a lot like my grandmother but instead of pie- open to reveal a human foot. He reaches to pull mized for the deathbed, I could tell, countless crust fl our all over her, she is covered in suds. the door open but can’t, doesn’t. Carl looks times. That July it was 100 degrees for 18 straight through the port window into the guts of the We’re sorry we have to have this conversa- days. Carl would pull his car up to the open dryer. He steps back. I step up. DANIEL FISHEL tion now, they said, clearing their throats. J ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 17 continued from 17 Hey Brian! “When will we have to run?” But you understand—the timing. Then, when I I’m sorry for the mix-up, I had not been told She is always ready to run. got up to make them leave, throats now clear: that Jamie was no longer living with you. I’ll “I don’t know,” I say honestly. There are other, less premium options. be sure to remove her from our client list and She sits on the fl oor beside me, “I think my So I gave them my number—a stage of address all future notes correctly. There were teachers hate me.” grieving I had not prepared for—the most I no further issues with the trash! I made sure to “I’m sorry,” I say, because I’m not sure if it’s could pay to preserve something of you. Your take it out for you! It was a bit overstu ed and true or if she imagines it, and either option hand was still and warm in my grip. some cans had dropped onto the fl oor. Since makes me sad. You can have her dreams, they said. certain beers can be bad for dogs’ digestive She bites my ankle. I’m startled by the Days later, I found myself in the little Memo- systems, I figured I’d save you the trip and sudden crunch of it and catch myself on the ri capsule o ce, stuck like a barnacle on the make sure Gracie was out of harm’s way! counter. side of the funeral home on Western where Thanks, “I never mean to hurt you,” she says, her we’d had your service. By then, there was one Dan voice shaking. “Never.”
a xed to every funeral home in the city. RACHAL DUGGAN *** “I know.” I fi dgeted in the tiny lobby, decorated with Brian, Slightly wobbling, I keep washing and get baby succulents in trendy planters. Icy No- I saw your note and I am SO sorry for throw- her to sing a favorite song to keep us both vember rain fell outside. I thought about how ing away what I thought was trash—I thought distracted. you’d become a cold thing in the cold ground, Dog Walker’s Notes I was being helpful. I will not touch any of your “I love you, Mama,” she says when fi nished. too young. A Memori rep emerged to receive personal belongings in the future. Crumbs collected in the corners of her me. 7/23/18-7/26/18 I think maybe Gracie was in a bad mood mouth, I see her exercising restraint, fi ghting We recommend starting o with something By DS today. She seemed distant and sad. Losing not to bite o my entire foot. simple, like a small screen and headphones, someone can be traumatic for a dog. They Already useless, I break it o below the bit- the rep, Amber, said gently. If you were to often feel lost and confused when someone ten ankle and hand it to her to devour in two interface for the fi rst time in a VR headset, for HEYBRIAN&Jamie! they saw every day decides to leave and impossible bites. example, you’d be overwhelmed. I’m Dan! As David explained in his last note, doesn’t say why. That’s OK, I think. It’s a lot to She goes o to chase after the cat. The Somnofeed™ was a database of your he recently took another position so I’ll be process. And Gracie’s a good dog, I think she’ll Every day I worry about giving them what brain’s REM activity. Through Memori’s your new dog walker! But don’t worry, Gracie’s be OK. I would just take some time to play with they need. I have nightmares about angry fi sts patented extraction method, data from your in good hands with me! I’ll be following all of her tonight. She’s always happy to see you. pounding on our door, large grinning mouths most potent REM cycles was harvested and our standard procedures in my notes, and, per Also Gracie’s stool was VERY weird today. with too many teeth, voices shouting: We are translated into a format readable by a number your request, I’ll be sure to mention any irreg- Runny but also chunky. Sorry to be so vivid. going to devour you. of consumer devices. ularities with her stool. I’m sorry to hear she’s I’m not a vet so I’m not sure which details are As I sweep crumbs o the fl oors, my oldest Of course, she continued, We have a selec- had digestive trouble in the past, but I’ll be important. I know you’d said you wanted to comes by and offers to make us some tea. tion of cutting-edge hardware available for sure to pay close attention! Today Gracie took know so now you know. While we wait for the water to boil, she helps purchase here, if you need. a 32-minute walk around Mary Bartelme Park Thanks! me clean up. Cutting-edge hardware wasn’t in my bud- and the surrounding area. She peed twice and Dan v get. I’d have to ease myself in with my outdat- pooped! I’ll be back tomorrow at one! ed iPhone, then work up to the 32-inch LED Also, couldn’t help but notice the wedding TV you’d fought bitterly with me to upgrade invitations on the counter! Congratulations! before you became too weak to care. Thanks, Run Amber handed me a small silver drive. Dan By V D L Everything was in there, all of you that my *** money could buy. Hey Brian & Jamie! Remember, the Somnofeed™ shows you Today was normal! We took a 34-minute GINGERBREADMOTHERSKNOWwe will be only what the deceased experienced, she told walk through the park where she peed, and consumed by our children. Bite by bite, we me. If you don’t sync with a VR suit or room, then we went once more around the block to teach them gratitude. We teach them that you’ll only get the visuals and audio. In that make sure she pooped. One little blip: it looked treasures take time: homes, stories, relation- case, you’ll likely experience a disjointed like Gracie might’ve knocked over some things ships. We teach them to run. stream of images and sounds. It won’t make from the counter—I came in to find some My son takes my hand and raises it to his much sense. trash strewn around and unfortunately your lips for a kiss before taking a bite—just a nib- But! She continued, raising her eyebrows invitations had been knocked onto the fl oor. ble at fi rst, followed by quick hungry mouth- and folding my fingers over the drive, Con- She must have jumped up onto one of the bar fuls up to the elbow. At 13, he towers over me; fusing as it may be, this data is priceless! stools. I’m so sorry if this is my fault—I didn’t and when he gently places a peck on my cheek, Remember that. The Somnofeed™ allows arrive until 1:03 today. But it looks like luckily I do not flinch; for he is kind and takes only you to experience some of the most intimate the invitations weren’t ruined! I’ll be sure to what he needs. moments your loved one had with his or her arrive early tomorrow to prevent any further “I love you, little Mama,” he says, going o subconscious. issues. to play the piano, leaving me to wash o the Her, I said. Her subconscious. Thanks, saucy remnants of dinner one-handed. Amber nodded delicately. We sat there in Dan My youngest daughter, stalling from her RACHAL DUGGAN silence until I handed over my credit card. v *** homework, hugs me from behind and asks, 18 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll “I’m afraid you’ll disappear,” she says in that means). About a month into the relation- calls you a little shit for snitching. Then you’re earnest, eyeing all that’s missing. ship, I was about to go on my laptop, and I saw on the ground and the too-familiar taste of I hug her close, and as she bites my shoul- that my dog had hacked the guy’s Facebook your own blood fi lls your mouth like molten der, I tell her, “I always fi nd ways to fi ll in the page. His little puppy paws were typing a sta- copper. missing bits.” tus update, one letter at a time. Before I could And the record skips. Your cheeks are wet What I don’t tell her is that even when the stop him, my dog posted as if he were this guy, and your eyes are blurred and pu y, and all missing pieces grow back and the cracks heal, “I’m a rapist.” you can see is how beautiful the sunlight is they always ache. I fi nd out later, the guy was a rapist. A few coming down through the treetops. It could Later, when everyone is asleep and the years earlier, he had assaulted a woman while be a beautiful day, you think, as he drags house is quiet, I fill myself with music and she was asleep. He said he thought it was con- you behind his bike down the path that cuts words and wine. I make plans that give me sensual. When I saw it on the news, I realized I through the small patch of woods behind hope, then crash hard into sleep to dream didn’t like that guy that much after all. your house. of outrunning death. Or is it fate? Or maybe Usually at the end of the day, I’ll plop into And the record skips. This time he is the fear? bed, and my dog will jump on the bed after me. one crying. You’re 16 and he’s 20 and you’re When they leave me, I stand in the doorway. Sometimes, he’ll transform. When he does, the LYDIA FU both beyond drunk in his dorm. Your head is “Remember you are not running away but room glows soft white. In a moment that feels swimming from what he just told you through toward something,” I shout ginger-hearted calm and warm, a hundred eyes appear on his tears that must have been stuck in his eyes into the wind. “Choose wisely. Run as fast as body, and each of those eyes is looking at me, Vinyl for a decade at this point the way they just v you can! Someday I will catch you!” telling me that it’s going to be OK. By JN keep coming. You can feel the shit beer and He falls asleep with his tummy in the air. whiskey and weed pulling your head toward When he wakes up, he stretches, gets up, and the pillow, but you know it won’t take. Looking shakes o the sleep. He loves eating early in THERECORDSKIPSYou’re nine again. Your up at the bottom of his bunk, you silently trace Best Dog the morning, so I go to his dish and feed him. brother is twisting your arm behind your back the wood’s grain with your heavy eyes. You’ll By AM He devours his food, then runs to his rope, and and the pain feels so close but still so distant, both pretend not to remember much from that we play tug-of-war. v as though it’s happening to someone else. He night, but you’ll both carry the weight of J
MYDOGISthe best dog. He’s well trained, and he likes to cuddle, but there’s other things, too. Like the other day, I took him for a walk, and some asshole called me something he shouldn’t have. My dog killed the man by breathing a thick stream of blue fi re. He didn’t even bark. When he was done, he tugged at the leash because he wanted to smell some other dog’s pee. Another time, I brought my dog with me when I was visiting my boyfriend (now fi an- cé), who lived in D.C. While my boyfriend was at work, my dog and I went on a long walk, sticking to some of the less crowded streets. Because I can’t resist my dog’s cute face—and because normally he’s well behaved—I let him lead me for a while. He seemed to know exactly where to go, since we’d get to a corner and he’d know which direction to turn, no pause-and- sni needed. Turned out, there was a bird, a giant one that had escaped from a corporate lab, flying in the area. It didn’t kill anyone, but a lot of people got hurt (and even more people were covered in shit). My dog knew that bird was coming, and he had led me away from it so we didn’t get hurt or shit on. Later that afternoon, I was able to see my then-boy- friend-now-fi ancé birdshit-free. Earlier, before I met my fi ancé, I was seeing
this guy. (My dog never liked him.) He was RACHAL DUGGAN maybe less sentimental than other guys I would date, but at the time, he seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders (whatever ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 19 continued from 19 his secret where it sits hot and heavy in your heart, and when you’re older you’ll touch that hot stove in your chest. Just every so often. To feel its heat; to feel again. And the record skips. Your phone is sitting on the table in front of you and you are watch- ing it as each buzz of vibration makes it dance in a long, slow spiral. You know it’s him. You know why he’s calling again and you hate it. You hate the tinny quality of his screamed expletives through the earpiece. You hate that he can somehow still take and take and devour all your energy, all of you, and make you feel so small again. And the record skips. You’re down. You’re down and he’s on top of you and the cuts in your face from his ring are pouring blood. You can’t see through the blood, and you can’t feel his fists anymore, but you feel the way the bones in your head are sliding together and you know it’s almost done. You hear the tail end of your favorite saxophone solo as he shrieks and slams you against the cabinet, and the record skips, and skips, and skips. And the record skips. You’re nine again. Your brother grabs your wrist with a look in his eye that is cold and void and every you that ever was and ever will be and ever couldn’t be all stand in opposition. A chorus of you pours out of your mouth and the weight shatters him completely. And fi nally the record keeps playing. v
Huérfanos By H H
FIFTEENDAYSONyour feet have led you here,
a body among bodies, bronzed by the sun DANIEL FISHEL and damp with sweat. That morning, familiar faces offered you stale bread to split with only hunger and thirst. You carry home in the and your throat closes up until Diego squeezes made warm by the sun. your brother. They know your name and story. grooves of your torn sneakers. your palm, telling you breathe. Outside the hospital, you kissed Angelito That’s enough to consider themselves family Four years ago, you had a twin brother. You had to leave María and her husband in a and told María, See you in América. now, lives knotted together by the rhythm of Sebastián. As a child, you kept your hair short city hospital along the way, their son sick with She said, Si Dios quiere, like your grand- endless shu ing. so people would mistake you for him, until ad- the fever that spread around, the one optimis- mother used to, in a sigh. It hurts—the things You still think of the three of you as or- olescence reshaped your bodies, leaving you tic tías call exhaustion. God wills. You can blame him for the land phans. Sometimes the word slips through your only the same pu ed cheeks, the same silent You wouldn’t want to be a mother. When where he made you, for the womb he knit you cracked lips too. Diego doesn’t say anything. laugh. Everyone referred to you as the twins, María was pregnant, you dreamed of the doc- into as though you didn’t deserve better, for His memory of your parents is like yours: a name you wore better than your own, as tors cutting her open and leaving her that way, Sebastián, buried a thousand miles away. But promises ten years old, phone calls to strang- though you two wound together so tightly you her warm insides leaking onto the tile floor still, those words taste like giving up. ers in Chicago, old photographs that could became one person. while your tía wiped the baby clean. Soldiers tell you there’s no future ahead, belong to anyone. But your older sister María When they took him, your footsteps became In front of you, a bus belches stale air. Sol- but still these strangers walk. You turn from remembers. If she were here, she would say, hollow. diers help the tired on. By now, you know their the bus and you notice how your sneakers Ay, Lucía, and beg the Lord’s forgiveness. It’s his death that has you belonging to no faces. These people who are and aren’t your compress the earth, mixing together all the Buses form a line. The soldiers tell you one, no land or country. Sometimes, at night family. Your body aches in places you can’t places you’ve been. Hope, that second fever, is to get on, but there is no place to go back to, in the camps, you think you hear his voice, name, and you think of those rubbery seats contagious too. v 20 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll R READER RECOMMENDED b ALL AGES F ARTS & CULTURE
La Ruta MICHAEL BROSILOW
THEATER LR R Through / /: Wed- Fri : PM, Sat-Sun and Lost girls : PM, Tue : PM; no performances Tue / or /, There’s not much drama Steppenwolf Theatre Company, N. Halsted, --, in La Ruta, but Isaac steppenwolf.org , $-$. Gomez creates a series of persuasive snapshots. By JH
interjects a fair amount of inorganic, exposi- tional dialogue. Yolanda, for example, explains at length what Marisela surely already knows: with the passage of NAFTA, factories popped up in Juárez, and now, “We fi nally have a shot [to] support our own families.” From the opening scene, Gomez jumps back and forth in time, tracking (and sometimes failing to track) the relationship between Brenda and her factory coworker Ivonne (Karen Rodriguez), who takes Brenda under her wing. Ivonne’s sister has been abducted, so in Brenda Ivonne may be seeking a kind of replacement sibling—or she may be seeking something far more sinister. The fact that Ivonne has been tied to several factory women he rampant murders of women and but researchers have shed valuable light on That sort of idiosyncratic specifi city comes who have gone missing gives Brenda’s mother girls in the Mexican border town the underlying causes of the targeted sexual and goes in Gomez’s play, making for an eve- little comfort. of Ciudad Juárez have been the violence—everything from NAFTA to drug ning that ultimately packs half the wallop that It’s a potent setup, but in scrambling the subject of global attention since the trafficking to machismo to poor urban plan- it might. Gomez focuses on Marisela (Charín chronology of the scenes, Gomez struggles mid 1990s, when the phenomenon ning—while at the same time demonstrating Alvarez) and Yolanda (Sandra Delgado), two to maintain forward momentum. Rather Tfirst began drawing international headlines. that structural, gender-based extreme vio- 40-something women who’ve been recently than dramatizing the cumulative effects of Journalists, activists, musicians, novelists, lence is hardly unique to one Mexican border let go from factory jobs in town. As the play pervasive violence in the women’s lives, he television producers, and filmmakers (for town. opens, they’re at the bus stop waiting for presents a series of extended snapshots, often starters) have used the city’s serial sexual But no amount of academic prose captures Yolanda’s teenage daughter Brenda (Cher placed just before or just after consequential assassinations to call for sweeping judicial the nuanced, lived reality that Chicago play- Álvarez), who’s taken her mother’s place on moments. More problematically, the larger reform as well as create danceable pop tunes wright Isaac Gomez injects into his program the factory fl oor. When Brenda doesn’t get o social forces in Juárez remain frustratingly (Tori Amos’s “Juárez”). note for Steppenwolf Theatre’s premiere of her usual bus, Marisela works hard to reassure indistinct, for the most part reported rather Perhaps most strikingly, academics have La Ruta, his 90-minute drama centered on a Yolanda that nothing is wrong—a di cult sell, than lived. This world rarely feels like a place poured over the disappearances—as many handful of Juárez women in the late 1990s. considering that Marisela’s own daughter where women need a male escort to take out as 1,500 women and girls abducted, sexually Gomez, who grew up across the border in El went missing not long ago. But when Brenda the trash. assaulted, murdered, and dumped in the street Paso, writes about visiting family regularly in fails to get off the last bus of the evening, But Gomez, aided by director Sandra Mar- or in the desert—with a bracing clinical re- Juárez, where he felt as free and self-reliant as Marisela calmly announces she’s calling the quez’s careful eye, excels at depicting small move. Sarah Schatz in her indispensable Sex- he did at home. “But,” he writes, “any time any police. It seems she’s done this a thousand domestic moments that convey disarming ual Homicide of Women on the U.S./Mexican of the young women in my family wanted to times before. gravitas. For these women, perpetually poten- Border coolly informs us, “Theorists argued or needed to do anything, like throw away the As he does throughout the play, Gomez tial targets of male violence, domesticity may that female maquila workers were killed in trash or go to the corner store down the street, adeptly captures subtle e orts to forge a sense be life-saving. The snapshots Gomez creates, a disposable human resource of labor,” a the men would have to accompany them—my- of normalcy amid horror, as the women refuse enlivened by occasional choral songs, may contention that “sparked empirical debate self included.” This tiny reminiscence reifi es to break from their comfortable routines until not progress very far, but they hold enough over the occupations of murdered women in a pervasive terror more successfully than any a miserable truth becomes inescapable. But intrigue, horror, and fortitude to make for a Juárez.” Such rhetoric may sound inhumane, empirical argument I can fathom. as he also does throughout the play, Gomez memorable evening. v ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 21 BB Through /: Wed-Fri : PM, Sat and : PM, Sun PM, Mon PM, Neo-Futurist Never ARTS & CULTURE Theater, N. Ashland, - - , miss a neofuturists.org , $-$. show again.
Fiddler on the Roof JOAN MARCUS EVAN HANOVER EARLY WARNINGS THEATER Find a concert, buy a The other great Chicago fi re ticket, and sign up to Burning Bluebeard commemorates get advance notice the Iroquois Theatre catastrophe of Chicago’s essential with music, dancing, clowning, and acrobatics. music shows at chicagoreader.com/early. THEATER EVERYONEREMEMBERSthe Great Chica- Tradition! Love will tear us apart go Fire of 1871, which burned through 17,500 R The current tour of Fiddler on the Roof R Quick + Dirty Productions arrives in buildings in three days. But who remembers meets everybody’s yeidel-deidel needs. Chicago with the brutal and hypnotic Tender the Iroquois Theatre Fire three decades later, Napalm. which killed twice as many in a fl ash, effi cient- Your hands are tied with Fiddler. Everyone who comes to see it will want their yeidel-deidel needs met in a Narrative opacity collides with emotional brutality in ly roasting more than 600 theater patrons in number of ways. The costumes, especially the wom- Philip Ridley’s 2011 play, now making its local premiere a single a ernoon, not even sparing the teen- en’s, have to be pure threadbare shtetl-wear. The sets with the new-to-Chicago Quick + Dirty Productions age ballerina dangling from a wire? If it’s the need to evoke a Chagall-like vision of mystical poverty a er a run in Portland, Oregon. lesser known fi re for lack of songs, rest easy, in which everything is both grubby and luminous, in A man (David Lind) and a woman (Rebecca Ride- which the glow of ancestral origins beams through a nour) trade tales of violence and domination—from because the Neo-Futurists and the Ruffians thickly clouded dust, the hunger from whence Jews rape-by-grenade to castration. Sometimes their sto- have it covered. Burning Bluebeard, written came. ries involve fantastical sea creatures and monkeys. by Jay Torrence and directed by Halena Kays, Happily, this revival, which stops in Chicago for References to a birthday party, a young child (shades returns for a seventh year to commemorate three weeks, doesn’t disappoint in any of these of George and Martha from Who’s Afraid of Virginia this gruesome disaster with music, dancing, respects. Even better, it also works legitimate stage Woolf?), and a tsunami all provide possible clues to wonders within nostalgia’s constraints. The back- the backstory that feeds the couple’s Grand Guignol clowning, and acrobatics. ground ensemble of whirling yeshiva bochers, fol- fl ights of fancy. “I had written a play about a tragic circus lowing Jerome Robbins’s original choreography, are It’s disturbing stuff , but Jen Rowe’s hyper- train wreck for the Neo-Futurists, and I was amazing, capturing all the rapture of orthodox dance intimate and spare staging makes us feel like we’re intrigued by the idea of performers attempt- with an almost unholy amount of sauce on top. Yehez- trapped on the psychic desert island these two lovers kel Lazarov as Tevye nobly gives the audience all the share, where aching need and seething resentment ing to create something beautiful in the world Find hundreds chestal shimmying it could want, but manages to lend sit cheek-to-jowl. Like the late Sarah Kane (to whom and then the world coming and making a his performance the kind of overworked wheeze and his work is o en compared), Ridley’s worldview seems story out of them,” says Torrence. Captivated of Reader- stagger that one would actually expect from a run- bleak but not cynical. He’s created characters who by a “painfully lovely” image of Nellie Reed, down, persecuted milkman with a lame horse. This care enough to still fi ght for a foothold in each other’s the 13-year-old flower-tossing aerialist who recommended honesty about what being poor means is a strength lives rather than succumb to numbing nihilism. of the production overall, but Jonathan von Mering The material requires actors unafraid of physical died of her injuries, Torrence envisions the restaurants, takes that impulse too far as Lazar Wolf; watching and emotional exposure and who have the ability theater reanimated by the ghosts of the orig- him, I missed the jolly glint in Paul Mann’s eye from to hold just enough of the histrionics in check to inal performers. Like the heroine of the fairy- the movie. keep us guessing about where they’re going next. exclusive video tale “Bluebeard,” they are irresistibly drawn The best scene is an incredible, hallucinatory Matthew Kerrigan’s movement segments, particularly features, and sign take on the Fruma-Sarah nightmare that is everything a poignant and lyrical wordless epilogue, provide to the site of a tragedy—yet, he insists, with fans of traditional Hebrew demonology but also latex compelling physical counterpoint to the verbal battles optimism: “My characters enter the Iroquois up for weekly news masks and corpses on stilts could hope for. —M and revelations. Sometimes it’s tough to stomach, but Theatre again. Every time they do, they’re try- M F R Through 1/6/19: Ridenour and Lind don’t fl inch. As a result, Tender ing to get to a happy ending. We’re hoping chicagoreader.com/ Wed 2 and 7:30 PM, Thu-Fri 7:30 PM, Sat 2 and Napalm is both hypnotic and harrowing. —K 8 PM, Sun 2 and 7:30 PM, Tue 7:30 PM; no per- R T N Through 1/13/19: Thu-Sat there’s an ending where people don’t die, but food. formance Tue 12/25 or Sun 1/6, 7:30 PM, Cadillac 8 PM, Sun 5 PM. Nox Arca Theatre, 4001 N. every night we have to tell the truth. Through Palace Theatre, 151 W. Randolph, 866-448-7849, Ravenswood, 559-970-9394, quickanddirty.art, that we try to fi nd some semblance of hope.” v broadwayinchicago.com , $22-$179. $25, $20 seniors, $15 students and industry. —IH 22 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll Csss Directed by Daniel Goldhaber. TV-MA, min. Streaming on Netflix. ARTS & CULTURE
Cam
write off her allegations of identity theft as unimportant and instead ask invasive and irrelevant questions about her work. The only way Alice can regain her autonomy is to fi ght for it herself. None of the people in her life, not even those sworn to protect her, are willing to step in and help because they view her as “less than.” But she isn’t less than because she’s a sex worker, and she knows it, as do the fi lmmakers. She’s a fully fl edged character with aspirations and motivations that just happen to revolve around a profes- sion that is regularly scorned, criminalized, and embedded in an institutionalized system of violence that often results in death. Cam is a film that does not rely solely on MOVIES its ideologies. It is a horror film first and foremost—one that is just as torturous to sit through as it is aesthetically appealing, with Stranger with my face the majority of the shots drenched in neon light. The audience is forced to watch Lola In Cam, the real horror is whorephobia. Two along with Alice—unsure of how far Lola Two will go or how much Alice can stand, but By C C unable to look away because the online perfor- mance is so dazzling. Cam is a fresh addition to an already great year for women in hor- sa Mazzei, a former camgirl, was tired from viewers doubting she has the guts to do licks it teasingly, loads it, then puts it in her ror—from Revenge to Hereditary to Suspiria of films that depicted sex workers as it. Then she does—only to get back up, smile mouth and shoots herself—leaving her pink to Annihilation and Halloween. disposable and unworthy of empathy. into the camera, and tear away the fake blood- set covered in blood and brains and obliter- Horror, at its best, reconstructs the formula So she teamed up with director Daniel covered prosthetic on her neck. ating Alice’s sanity. And then Lola Two pops of the genre and reflects what frightens us Goldhaber and modern horror jugger- But just when it seems that Alice is getting back up with a sickly smile and celebrates in a particular moment. Simply put, Cam is Inaut Blumhouse Productions to create Cam—a on track with her life—she’s broken into the that she’s just broken into the top 20 girls on about the terror of getting locked out of your fi lm that manages to be both a vibrant techno top 50 users, she has enough disposable in- FreeGirlsLive. online accounts and losing your manufactured thriller that champions its sex-worker pro- come to buy herself a lavish $4,000 couch—it While Lola Two is framed as Alice’s neme- identity. By making a sex worker its protag- tagonist and an examination of the real-world all comes crumbling down when she gets sis, she is far from the fi lm’s villain. At every onist, Cam is able to turn some of the most consequences of doing sex work in a whore- locked out of her account and replaced by an turn, Alice’s concerns aren’t taken seriously tired horror tropes—like the demonization of phobic society. exact replica of herself. because she’s a sex worker. The tech support non-virgins or the brutal treatment of women Cam follows Alice (Madeline Brewer), aka Alice no longer has access to her earnings worker from FreeGirlsLive doesn’t believe for shock value—on their heads. It’s a fi lm that Lola, a camgirl trying to climb her way up the or her clients—and she’s forced to watch like Alice was hacked—even when she’s on the challenges the politics of the genre while still rankings of FreeGirlsLive.com by acting out a voyeuristic masochist as her dopplegänger phone with him while Lola Two is streaming embodying what makes horror great by chan- extreme scenarios for shock value. Lola gets rises to fame. Lola Two uses a set that’s almost live. Alice’s mother says she doesn’t care that neling our collective fear of losing ourselves a following by threatening to slit her throat identical to Lola’s, and she, too, likes to raise Alice is a sex worker—but she never actually online. v live—resulting in nonstop chat messages the stakes. Alice starts tipping to see how far listens when Alice tries to explain what’s gone from worried fans and digital currency “tips” Lola Two will go. Lola Two pulls out a gun, wrong. When Alice calls the police, the o cers @dykediscourse
ssss EXCELLENT sss GOOD ss AVERAGE s POOR • WORTHLESS ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 23 V sss Directed by Adam McKay. R. min. ARTS & CULTURE In wide release.
Vice
MOVIES The Dick Cheney we never knew mentary style allows for such heady shortcuts Just kidding! The story told in the to gnaw at an essential truth: that power run gonzo anti-biopic Vice is far less amok is a dangerous beast. revealing than the telling. Countless signals remind the viewer that they are not just watching the movie but are By L P a part of it. Halfway through the film, the credits roll, but we know McKay’s bluffing. The movie kicks up again with the Cheneys discussing their takeover of Washington—nay, the world!—in Shakespearean verse. Celebrity cameos, breaks in the fourth wall, and other winking departures from reality keep us on our toes. Animal imagery, of slippery fi sh for Cheney to catch and of hyenas that represent disorder, appeal to our viscera. References to American Idol and Survivor collide with footage of torture and bombings. McKay knows what he’s doing, and he knows that we know what he’s doing. The contract between riter-director Adam McKay’s the 2008 fi nancial crisis, Vice is an involving and he is loyal. When he asks Rumsfeld, his director and viewer is rarely so explicit or so passel of broad comedies and satire, in no small part because McKay posi- mentor, “What do we believe?” as conserva- invigorating. more recent sociopolitical tions the viewer as a participant. Characters tives, Rumsfeld laughs maniacally and slams McKay could have made a serious movie satires have three interesting talk to you; constant shifts in narrative style the door in his face. Lesson learned. about serious issues, or a silly movie that dis- attributes in common. The fi rst and tone snap you to attention. You cannot Vice prioritizes the telling of this origin pensed with seriousness altogether. Instead, Wis a focus on wayward American men, fi ctional simply sit and absorb this movie. Love it or story, as well as the juicy years immediately he lands somewhere in the middle, and suc- and actual, and a hankering to dissect them hate it, you are one of its characters. preceding and following 9/11, while skim- ceeds, at the very least, in delivering a provoc- and flesh out their trajectories. The second But fi rst, you meet Cheney (Christian Bale) ming the periods in between: most notably, ative indictment of one wayward American is iconoclasm, evident in the zeal with which as a drunk 22-year-old in his home state of Cheney’s tenure as secretary of defense under man’s wielding of power. Whether or not the McKay’s films explode popular institutions Wyoming. His high school sweetheart, Lynne President George H.W. Bush and his activities viewer agrees with the fi lm’s message—that and ideologies, ranging from NASCAR to the (Amy Adams), slaps him with an ultimatum: as CEO of the oil-fi eld services company Hal- Cheney is a fascinating and dichotomous nuclear family to trickle-down economics. The either shape up or she moves on. Out of love liburton. But McKay gets his point. Cheney fi gure, a man who loves his wife and children third is provocation, by which the viewer is and devotion, Cheney rises to embody Lynne’s develops a taste for power and infl uence. He and executes atrocities—is beside the point. poked enough to feel considered, challenged, idea of a great man. By 1969, Cheney is a con- becomes an expert at wielding power because, You’re interested, aren’t you? You felt some- and perhaps even culpable for the on-screen gressional intern, working in the White House as the fi lm suggests, he’s an expert at reading thing, didn’t you? action. under Donald Rumsfeld (Steve Carell). In short people and giving them exactly what they If McKay’s goal with Vice was to rouse These motivational strands plait in Vice: time, Cheney succeeds Rumsfeld as White think they want. For example, Cheney reads viewers to interrogate their superiors and a gonzo anti-biopic that limns Dick Cheney’s House chief of staff under President Gerald George W. Bush (Sam Rockwell) as a wayward themselves—what they believe versus what rise from alcoholic Yale dropout to cunning Ford (Bill Camp). son who longs to impress his father, and thus they know—well, he succeeded. Attention Washington insider to shadow president— The reasons for Cheney’s ascent, according he manipulates W. into invading Iraq to fi nish earned. v whoops, vice president—alongside George W. to a mysterious narrator (Jesse Plemons), are a job H.W. started. These are broad strokes, Bush. Like The Big Short, McKay’s 2015 take on simple. Cheney is quiet, he does as he is told, to be sure, but McKay’s protean, faux-docu- @leahkpickett 24 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll W M ss Directed by Robert Zemeckis. PG-, min. In wide release. ARTS & CULTURE
Die Hard DEC 28-31 AT 11 PM
In The heat of the Night JAN 1-3 AT 10:30 PM
For showtimes and advance tickets, visit thelogantheatre.com
Welcome to Marwen
MOVIES
R SM Such an inspiration! R In Welcome to Marwen the hero’s disability is a way to let us feel good about ourselves. www.BrewView.com 3145 N. Sheffield at Belmont By B S Movie Theater & Full Bar 18 to enter 21 to drink $5.00 Photo ID required ased on a true story, Welcome to Nazis, beautiful women, and a blue-haired him into a PTSD-like shock: a Nazi doll, a TV admission Marwen starts where the life of Mark witch (Diane Kruger), this miniature world, it turned up too loud, a whistling kettle. At the for the Movies Hogancamp (Steve Carell) nearly quickly becomes clear, is a theater of the mind same time, Hogancamp has an exhibition of his ended, or rather where it began where Hogancamp endlessly reenacts the at- post-attack photographs upcoming at a blue- Sat-Sun, Dec. 29-30 @ 6:30pm again. On April 8, 2000, outside a bar tack and its aftermath in an attempt to come chip gallery in New York City, which his friends Wed-Thr, Jan. 2-3 @ 6:30pm Bin upstate New York, fi ve men attacked a drunk to terms with it. pressure him to attend. The line between real- Hogancamp after they learned of his penchant At the outset of the fi lm, Hogancamp seems ity and dreams begins to fray as Hogancamp Bohemian for wearing women’s shoes and left him for to have mostly recovered, though he constant- introduces a doll version of his new neighbor dead. Now, several years later, Hogancamp has ly blames his alcoholism for the attack. He Nicol (Leslie Mann) into Marwen after meet- Rhapsody lost all memories of his past life due to the re- has relearned how to walk and goes to work, ing her. As their friendship progresses, Mark sultant brain damage and is racked by chronic talks to the townspeople, and photographs proposes to her in real life and Nicol’s confused Sat-Sun, Dec. 29-30 @ 9:00pm pain. Once a gifted illustrator, his motor skills his dolls. But soon we get hints of the incred- discomfort poignantly illustrates how what Wed-Thr, Jan. 2-3 @ 9:00pm have deteriorated so severely he can’t hold ible amount of stress he’s under. His phone started as a coping mechanism for Hogancamp a pencil. After Medicaid stopped paying for rings off the hook with calls from his lawyer has come to take on a life of its own. Venom his rehabilitative therapy, Hogancamp began reminding him of the sentencing hearing for In the end, Hogancamp is fi nally able to con- to construct an elaborate WWII-era Belgian his attackers at which he’s slated to testify. front his attackers, attend his gallery show, city he christens “Marwen” that is fully de- Although surrounded by a supportive and and shift his a ection from the clearly unin- veloped by the time the movie begins. Full of accommodating community, small events send terested Nicol to the clearly interested J ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 25 ARTS & CULTURE Get showtimes at chicagoreader.com/movies.
continued from 23 abilities. The character’s eventual success is all lease the fi lm so close to Christmas, as it fully Roberta (Merritt Wever). Just before the the more triumphant as the fi lm goes to great fits the mold of the “heartwarming holiday credits, the fi lm shows us a photo of the real lengths to demonstrate just how debilitating movie.” The winter holidays are traditionally Hogancamp, along with the information that Hogancamp’s condition is. In this way, Wel- at once about feeling good and remembering to this day he has refrained from drinking al- come to Marwen falls into well-worn tropes in the less fortunate (think A Christmas Carol, cohol, that he continues to make art, and that which disabled bodies are called upon to pro- It’s a Wonderful Life, It Happened on Fifth Marwen now has over 200 inhabitants. De- vide audience catharsis. In her TEDx talk, “I’m Avenue, etc.). The fi lm ends with Hogancamp spite its many “truth is stranger than fi ction” not your inspiration, thank you very much,” striding down the street in high heels, drag- qualities, Welcome to Marwen follows a quite the late Stella Young relates an experience ging a toy car full of dolls behind him, the very conventional narrative: The hero is confronted from when she was teaching, and a student picture of queer self-acceptance. with an obstacle, which he (it’s usually a “he”) interrupted to ask her when she was going to But much of the fi lm also peers through the valiantly overcomes to prove his mettle. do her “motivational speaking.” In that mo- concerned, indulgent eyes of the women who All of this is overlaid, however, with Hogan- ment, Young realized, “For lots of us, disabled surround Hogancamp, both in Marwen and camp’s profound emotional and physical dis- people are not our teachers or our doctors or in real-world Kingston, New York. These are our manicurists. We’re not real people. We are the eyes Welcome to Marwen o ers us. While there to inspire.” Young describes these uses Welcome to Marwen certainly wouldn’t pass 164 North State Street of people with disabilities as “pornographic,” the Bechdel test, this isn’t the most worrisome $11 GENERAL | $7 STUDENTS | $6 MEMBERS as they “objectify one group of people for the problem vis-à-vis gender in the fi lm. We learn MOVIE HOTLINE: 312.846.2800 benefi t of another group of people.” For her, that Hogancamp collects women’s shoes (itself “the purpose of these images is to inspire you, a perfectly acceptable hobby), which he refers LIYANA THE CHARMER to motivate you, so that we can look at them to as a “woman’s essence” (at best creepy, at and think, ‘Well, however bad my life is, it worst misogynist). Nevertheless, Hogancamp JAN 4 -10 Powerful…brilliant could be worse. I could be that person.’” is portrayed as more pathetic than threaten- Fri 1/4 @ 4 pm & 8:15 pm; dramatic fairytale on par Young ends her talk by sharing her hope for ing, especially when contrasted with Nicol’s with any Pixar flick.” Sat 1/5 @ 8 pm; — Iquo B. Essien, Sun 1/6 @ 3 pm; “a world where we don’t have such low expec- rough, motorcycle-boot-clad ex-boyfriend Shadow and Act Tue 1/8 @ 8:15 pm; Wed 1/9 @ 6 pm; tations of disabled people that we are congrat- Kurt (Neil Jackson). The female characters in DEC 28 - JAN 3 Thu 1/10 @ 8 pm ulated for getting out of bed and remembering Welcome to Marwen are all a little too yield- Fri 12/28 @ 2 & 6 pm; A dapper Iranian our own names in the morning.” By giving us a ing, a little too understanding. They exist to Sat 12/29 @ 3 pm; immigrant seeks main character who does quite a bit more than make Hogancamp feel good, they treat him as Sun 12/30 @ 5:30 pm; a speedy Wed 1/2 @ 8:30 pm; marriage in this get out of bed and remember his own name in fragile. In this way they are like those Young Thu 1/3 @ 6 pm dark Green Card- themed drama. the morning, Welcome to Marwen certainly faults—they expect so little of Hogancamp breaks away from some of the features of “in- that it’s all too easy for him to impress them, spiration porn” Young identifi es. and all too easy for us to feel good about our- JAN 4 - 10 • DIVIDE AND CONQUER: THE STORY OF ROGER AILES But perhaps this step forward is accompa- selves in the process. v nied by at least one step back. It’s no coinci- BUY TICKETS NOW at www.siskelfilmcenter.org dence that the studio, Universal, chose to re- @brandon_sward 26 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll Get showtimes at chicagoreader.com/movies. ARTS & CULTURE
If Beale Street Could Talk reminds us, “nothing’s gone forever, only out of place” and we’re never too old to give in to imagination. Mary Poppins Returns, the sequel to the much loved 1964 musical fi lm Mary Poppins, is as wonderful as the original, telling a new story with equally important harassment of female employees, which led to his ouster lessons about family, love, and hope. Twenty-fi ve years from Fox in 2016, seems almost to belong in a separate a er the original, Michael Banks (Ben Whishaw), is all documentary. Yet director Alexis Bloom reaches back far grown up and a father of three who is struggling to enough into Ailes’s unhappy youth in small-town Ohio to support his family a er his wife’s passing when Fidelity explain both his deep understanding of the heartland Fiduciary Bank (one and the same from the original fi lm) and his ruthless abuse of those in his professional orbit. threatens to repossess his home. Mary Poppins (Emily A hemophiliac, Ailes lived his whole life in fear of bleed- Blunt) returns to save the day, and with the help of Jack ing to death, and as more than one witness observes, (Lin-Manuel Miranda), a London lamplighter and former he developed a dark talent for exploiting viewers’ worst apprentice to chimney sweep Bert, shows Michael, his fears, even as he bullied and intimidated his colleagues children, and his sister Jane (Emily Mortimer) how a little and underlings. Above all, Ailes was a showbiz genius, imagination can go a long way to change their point of though ironically his own downfall became just another view and, as a result, everything else around them. Mary titillating scandal in the 24-hour news cycle. –JRJ Poppins Returns brings back many beloved elements 107 min. Fri 1/4/19, 2 and 6 PM; Sat 1/5, 7:45 PM; Sun 1/6, 3 from the original fi lm, including the musical sequences PM; Mon 1/7, 7:45 PM; Tue 1/8, 6 PM; Wed 1/9, 8 PM; and with paintings that come to life, Michael and Jane’s old Thu 1/10, 8 PM. Gene Siskel Film Center kite (whose magic is at the heart of the fi lm’s story), and Mary Poppins’s fl ying, talking umbrella. The fi lm If Beale Street Could Talk also features cameo appearances from stars like Meryl R Set in 1974, when New York City verged on Streep (as Mary Poppins’s eccentric cousin Topsy), Colin bankruptcy and its neighborhoods were unraveling, Firth (as the villainous bank president, Mr. Wilkins), and director Barry Jenkins’s luminous adaptation of James Dick Van Dyke (not as Bert, but as the honorable bank Baldwin’s novel fi nds beauty and hope amid the decay chairman, Mr. Dawes Jr.). —D G PG, and desperation in Harlem and Greenwich Village. This 130 min. In wide release MOVIES feld) who befriends a nice giant robot from outer space. tender, lushly romantic drama follows Tish and Fonny Their friendship gets interrupted by the arrival of some (KiKi Layne and Stephan James), childhood friends On the Basis of Sex Bathtubs Over Broadway evil robots who want to destroy the nice robot. The fi lm who grow into adult soul mates but who are sundered Felicity Jones plays Ruth Bader Ginsburg from her R Before David Letterman’s rise to mainstream TV presents late-80s America so fetishistically that it feels a er they conceive a baby and a racist white cop mid-20s to her early 40s in this glossy, hackneyed megastardom, his humor appealed largely to nerds and at times like a follow-up to Bennett Miller’s Foxcatcher frames Fonny for rape. Standouts among the supporting biopic. Daniel Stiepleman’s script reduces everyone to geeks, obsessives and completionists who yearned to be (2014), and its recycling of 80s teen-movie cliches are cast include Regina King as Tish’s staunchly protective a progressive-minded hero or a reactionary villain, and hip, even if they were still ambivalent about that urge. also weirdly reverential. Perhaps the best thing about mother, and Brian Tyree Henry as Fonny’s friend, hol- those who display any moral ambiguity eventually come Dave was known for his loyalty to his staff , and here he it is that the heroine is a headstrong young woman lowed out by his own recent two-year prison term on around to the right side; for her part, director Mimi rewards one of his longest-serving writers, Steve Young, who refuses to be objectifi ed—likely a corrective to the a trumped-up charge. James Laxton’s cinematography Leder (whose previous credits include the notoriously by acting as executive producer and interviewee for this rampant sexism of Bay’s fi lms. —BS PG-13, is even more richly hued than his work on Jenkins’s mawkish Pay It Forward and lots of series television) delightfully oddball documentary about Young’s fi xation 113 min. In wide release Moonlight, and the sound design and Nicholas Britell’s delivers this in the fashion of Steven Spielberg at his on arcane industrial musicals from the 60s, 70s, and 80s, score add to the movie’s brimming sensory pleasures. sentimental, self-righteous worst. At least Leder has the lavish extravaganzas funded by corporations as educa- The Charmer With Colman Domingo, Michael Beach, Diego Luna, good sense also to rip off Spielberg at his best: a er a tional incentives for their salesmen and staged at private R I enjoyed this Danish-Swedish coproduction as Pedro Pascal, and Emily Rios. —A G R, prologue depicting Ginsburg’s experience at Harvard company functions. What started as a production duty— a contemporary update of the sort of story most associ- 119 min. In wide release Law School in the mid-1950s, the fi lm concentrates on a fi nding obscure LPs for a recurring Late Night bit about ated with Honoré de Balzac—i.e., one that scrutinizes the relatively short, but momentous period in the subject’s Dave’s record collection—became a mission for Young workings of sex and power as a means of commenting Liyana life a la Lincoln (2012). The tight focus makes for an as he grew fascinated by these shows written by such on larger social structures. The antihero, Esmail (Arda- R Amanda and Aaron Kopp shot this inventive engaging, fast-moving legal drama; as with Spielberg Broadway teams as Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock lan Esmaili), is an Iranian living in Copenhagen whose and compassionate documentary at an orphanage in at both his best and worst, this is seldom boring. With (Fiddler on the Roof) and John Kander and Fred Ebb work visa is about to expire; he plots to remain in the Swaziland, showing how the South African children’s Armie Hammer, Justin Theroux, and Kathy Bates. —B (Cabaret) that sang the praises of bathroom fi xtures, country by seducing a Danish woman into letting him author Gcina Mhlophe gets several orphans to work S PG-13, 120 min. In wide release cars, fast food, and polyester, sometimes to the tune of cohabitate with her. The desperate Esmail essentially through their traumas by creating a story together. $3 million a pop. It makes you ponder, from the stand- makes a commodity of his charm, fully aware that that’s The Kopps illustrate the children’s tale with animated They Shall Not Grow Old point of cultural anthropology, the diff erences between what he’s doing; cowriter-director Milad Alami consid- drawings by Kenneth Shofela Coker, and the animation, R The title is a misnomer: Peter Jackson’s doc- then and now, with conglomerates today hell-bent on ers the character’s guilt as well as his seductive skill, especially when coupled with the children’s improvised umentary about the British soldiers of World War I is enriching shareholders by decimating workforces. The resulting in a multifaceted portrait. Alami’s directorial narration, is aff ecting—even borderline-adorable. Yet narrated by old men, veterans who were recorded by fi lm includes Young’s own career crossroads, when style is in line with the subtle yet suspenseful realism the theme of trauma lingers well a er this short movie the BBC and the Imperial War Museums in the 1960s Letterman retires from CBS and Young plans what’s next reminiscent of such contemporary Iranian fi lmmakers as ends; the children’s story touches on alcoholism, losing and ‘70s. Collectively they tell the story of their war, a er a 25-year stint cra ing jokes. Dava Whisenant (also Asghar Farhadi (A Separation, The Salesman) and Majid a family, and near death from starvation, making one from enlistment and basic training to the trenches in a former Letterman staff er) directs this chronicle of a Barzegar (Parviz, A Very Ordinary Citizen), and this has wonder what horrors these children experienced. The France to their return home in 1918; it is, by turns, funny, comedy writer’s second act, his embrace of a profound the interesting eff ect of rendering the Danish settings Kopps don’t divulge what the young storytellers went gross, terrifying, and heartbreaking. There’s neither new passion, and the unexpected friends he’s made strange. In subtitled Danish and Farsi. —BS 101 through before arriving at the orphanage, but rather glory nor heroism; a er just a short time on the western along the way. —A G PG-13, 87 min. Fri min. Fri 1/4/19, 4 and 8:15 PM; Sat 1/5, 8 PM; Sun 1/6, 3 PM; focus on the kids’ creativity and social skills. Like Abbas front, most of them no longer remembered what they 1/4/19-Thu 1/10. Music Box Theatre Tue 1/8, 8:15 PM; Wed 1/9, 6 PM; and Thu 1/10, 8 PM. Gene Kiarostami’s documentary ABC Africa (2001), the result were supposed to be fi ghting for. One million of them Siskel Film Center is an unexpectedly joyous fi lm about heavy subjects. died—just from the British army. The narration is accom- Bumblebee —BS 77 min. Fri 12/28, 2 and 6 PM; Sat 12/29, 3 panied by archival photos and fi lm footage from the Michael Bay’s Transformers movies are edited so furi- Divide and Conquer: The Story PM; Sun 12/30, 5:30 PM; Wed 1/2, 8:30 PM; and Thu 1/3, IWM, restored and colorized by Jackson and his crew ously that one can disregard the plots and appreciate R of Roger Ailes 6 PM. Gene Siskel Film Center and projected in 3D. This sometimes gives the visuals them on the level of abstract formalism; by contrast, this an artifi cial Madame Tussaud’s eff ect, but at their best, prequel to the series (directed by Travis Knight) employs As founder and longtime CEO of Fox News, Roger Ailes Mary Poppins Returns this is as close as we can get to a full immersion into longer takes and more traditional montage, which allows may have done more than anyone else to foster the R Sometimes it feels like we’re lost in a world so one of the most horrifying and ultimately pointless wars you to really bask in how stupid the story is. Set in 1987, angry political divide now hobbling America; his cultural focused on intelligence and logic that we’ve forgotten in modern history. —AL R, 99 min. Thu 12/27, it follows an 18-year-old aspiring mechanic (Hailee Stein- infl uence was so profound that his decades-long sexual childhood magic and wonder. But, as Mary Poppins 1 PM. City North Stadium 14 and Webster Place 11 v ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 27 Dear Citizens of Chicago,
We are CIVL: the Chicago Independent Venue League. WeW are the owners of fourteen independent venues and our membership is growing. We are longtime friends (and yes, often competitors) who formed an alliance when Sterling Bay and Live Nation announced a massive entertainment complex within the proposed Lincoln Yards development, with multiple live music venues to be owned and operated exclusively by Live Nation. These venues are to mirror the sizes of our city’scity existing clubs, with capacities ranging from 100 to 5,000, as well as a 20,000 seat stadium.
We are not against competition — CIVL members have been competing with one another for decades — but we can't stand idly by while someone stacks the deck against us. Mega-corporations like Live Nation create vertical monopolies within a market, and when this happens, they own the venues, control the festivals, operate the ticketing platform, manage the artists and decide where they perform. Because of this, they area able to withstand major losses while driving out the competition. This is what we are facing in Lincoln Yards.
The Chicago music community is known the world over for our fierce independence and commitment to our community. From artists to venues to fans, our scene is deeply rooted in our city. Venues are also major economic drivers in our neighborhoods. When people go to a show, they eat, drink, and shop in the surrounding area.
Our clubs haveha history and character, and are often a voice for our communities. We employee hundreds of Chicagoans. We know our neighbors on a first name basis. We are deeply connected to local artists. And as Chicagoans, we will not go FOUNDING MEMBERS down without a fight. Beat Kitchen The Promontory Empty Bottle Schubas Tavern Most American cities don't enjoy what we haveha here. In G-Man Tavern Sleeping Village places like San Francisco and Nashville, smaller, independent venues are struggling to compete in a The Hideout SmartBar marketplace driven by vertically integrated companies that Lincoln Hall Subterranean control venues, promotions, ticketing and artist Martyrs Thalia Hall management. MetroM TheT Whistler
28 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll Recommended and notable shows and critics’ insights for the weeks of December 27 and January 3
b ALL AGES F MUSIC
THURDAY27 DKV trio See also Friday. 9 PM, Elastic, 3429 W. Diversey, $20. b
Drummer Hamid Drake, bassist Kent Kessler, and saxophonist and clarinetist Ken Vandermark have been playing together as DKV Trio since 1994. During their early years, their forceful playing— forged and focused by frequent gigging and their ability to improvise cohesive, songlike structures— made them one of the most exciting live acts of any genre to grace a Chicago stage. But by the early 2000s, the overseas obligations of each member had multiplied, and they scaled back group perfor- mances to the point that each gig felt like a return to the status quo, rather than an opportunity to further develop their sound. In recognition of this, DKV Trio added tours of Europe and collaborative eff orts with multi-instrumentalist Joe McPhee and Scandinavian garage-jazz trio the Thing to their cal- endar, alongside their annual year-end concerts in Chicago and Milwaukee. These redoubled efforts pay off on their most recent album, Latitude 41.88 (Not Two). Not only can DKV Trio instantly compose music that’s so memorable you’d swear you were remembering deep cuts from an old favorite album, PICK OF THE WEEK but each man’s growth as an instrumentalist height- ens the lyricism and soul of their tunes as well as the Ryley Walker covers a lost Dave lucid rigor of their abstract passages. —BM
Matthews Band record with Lando Chill, Vic Spencer Lando Chill headlines; Vic Spencer and Ajani Jones open. unexpected beauty and weirdness 8:30 PM, Empty Bottle, 1035 N. Western, $10. 21+ “[I’m] just the Burt Bacharach of the shit,” Lando Chill muses on “Clypped,” off his latest album, Black Ego. Like most lyrics from the Tucson rapper, the boast first comes across as a woozy offhand joke, but the more you think about it, the deeper it seems to get. The album’s laid-back, loungy trip-hop vibe EVAN JENKINS comes courtesy of producer the Lasso (aka Andy R WO BLMG Catlin), and Chill’s rhymes wrap around the mean- Fri 12/28, 9 PM, Empty Bottle, 1035 N. Western, $18, $15 in advance. 21+ ing of his words with an easy, intricate sophistica- tion that would make Bacharach lyricist Hal David envious. On “Facts,” the Lasso lays down a deep stoned beat leavened with what sounds like a jazz vibraphone sample, while Chill slides back and forth AFEWYEARSAGO it became socially acceptable for punks and guitarist Ryley Walker, who decided to undertake the bizarre task between weird double entendres and acerbic J freaks—the types of people who’d spent their entire lives raging of covering the entirety of Dave Matthews Band’s The Lillywhite against hippies and wooks—to get into the Grateful Dead. I’m guilty Sessions—a shelved but widely bootlegged 2001 full-length of that myself, and with the Dead acting as my gateway drug, I’ve recorded with producer Steve Lillywhite. On paper it’s a hard sell; become aware that more and more local weirdos are opening their the last thing I want to do with my time is sit down with 74 minutes minds to other alumni of the jam-band circuit as well. Any time of Dave Matthews material. But unsurprisingly, Walker—with listeners start exploring di erent genres, that sort of progression backing from drummer Ryan Jewell, bassist Andrew Scott Young, is inevitable, but there’s one act among these groups that’s been and saxophonist Nick Mazzarella— makes the album completely picking up way more newfound appreciation than I’d expect: Dave his own. Outside of a couple of slightly too-funky sax parts, The Matthews Band, the musical equivalent of a pair of beige cargo Lillywhite Sessions (Dead Oceans) shows few signs of Matthews shorts. Earlier this year—after the Bob Weir and Phil Lesh show at all; if you didn’t come in knowing these were covers, you might at the Chicago Theatre, of all places—I ran into Doug Kaplan, who think they were Walker originals. From the raw material, he builds helps run Chicago avant-garde label Hausu Mountain. He described upon the sort of beautiful, cerebral, pastoral prog-jazz and heady
DMB to me as “sick,” further explaining that they essentially sound drones he utilized on his mind-bending May release, Deafman DKV Trio COURTESY TROST RECORDS like “Dream Theater around a campfi re.” Another person riding Glance. Don’t let the stink of Dave put you off—The Lillywhite the Dave train these days is experimental-pop-jazz-folk singer and Sessions is another huge win for Walker in 2018. —LC ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 29 Est.Est.1954 1954 Celebrating over 6165 years of service service to Chicago! 1800 W. DIVISION (773) 486-9862 MUSIC Come enjoy one of Chicago’s finest beer gardens! FEBRUARYSEPTEMBERJADECEMBERNUARY 11...... 20 23 .....27 .....MIKE DA KEITHVID QUINN FLABBYSCOTT FELTEN HOFFMAN SHOW 8PM SEPTEMBERJADECEMBERNUARY 12...... 21 .....WAGNER28 STRAY AMERICAN& BOLTS MORSE DRAFT FEBRUARYSEPTEMBERDECEMBER 22 24 .....THE29 ..... THEDADYRKNAMOS CLAMRO OMBAND MEN JA NUARY 13...... FEATURING DJ SKID BK LICIOUS READ SEPTEMBERJANUARY 14...... 23 ....WHOLESOMERADIOWHITEWOLFSONICPRINCESSTONY DO DJRO NIGHTSARIO GROUP DECEMBER 30 MURPHY THE LAY-DOWN THOMPSON RAMBLERS 9:30PM DECEMBER 31 DANMOJO WHITAKER 49 & THE SHINEBENDERS JANUARY 17...... MIKE FELTENJAMIE WAGNER & FRIENDS JAJANUARYNUARY 18...... 1 SMILIN’ MIKE BOBBY FEL TOANDN THE CLEMTONES 5PM FEBRUARYJANUARY 2 25 .....WHOLESOMERADIOTHE ANDREW RON AND D RACHEL HUBER SHOW DJ NIGHT SEPTEMBERJAJANUARYNUARY 19...... 24 4 .....RC KING BIG BAND RABBIT SITU 7PMATION DAVID FEBRUARY 26 .....RCBIRDGANGSVIBE BIGTHEORYMAXLIELLIAM 9:30PMBAND 7PM ANNA JAJANUARYNUARY 20...... 5 TITTY BARNEY CITTY FIRST MUGGERSWARD PROBLEMS STREET BAND JA NUARY 21...... DUDEKYLE SAME KENNEDYTONY DO ROSARIO GROUP FEBRUARYJANUARY 7 28 .....PETER PROSPECT CASANO FOUR VA9PMQUARTET 8PM SEPTEMBERJAJANUARYNUARY 22...... 26 8 .....PETER FLABBY CASANOVA RC HOFFMAN BIG QUARTETBAND SHOW 7PM 8PM MARCHSEPTEMBERJAJANUARYNUARY 1...... SMILIN’ 24...... 27 9 .....DORIAN ELIZABETH’STA PETERJ BO CASONOBBYCRAZY AND LITTLEVA THEQUARTET CLEMTONESTHING SEPTEMBERJA NUARY 25...... 28 .....TOURSFEATURING THE WICK SPRINGBO 9PM MARCH 2...... ICEBULLY PULPITBOX AND BIG HOUSE JAJANUARYNUARY 26...... 10 FLABBY THE HOFFMAN HEPKATS SHOW 8PM SEPTEMBERJANUARY 29 12 .....SOMEBODY’S OFF THESKIPPIN’ VINE SINS ROCK MARCHJANUARY 3...... CHIDITAROD 13 FEATURINGHEISENBERG JOE LANASA UNCERTAINTY AND TARRINGTON PLAYERS 10PM 7PM SEPTEMBERJAJANUARYNUARY 27...... 30 14 .....OFF RC THE BIG VINE THE BAND 4:30PM STRAY 7PMBOLTS MARCHJA NUARY 7...... 28...... NUCLEARJONJAMIE RARICK WHOLESOMERADIO JAZZWA QUARKTETGNER NONET & 7:30PM FRIENDS9PM DJ NIGHT EVERYOPENEVERY MIC TUESD TUESD HOSTEDAY (EXCEPT BY MIKE 2ND) 2ND) &ATAT MIKE8PM8PM OPENON TUESDAY MIC HOSTED EVENINGS BY JIMIJON (EXCEPT AMERICA 2ND) Lando Chill NICK GRAYSON
continued from 29 other rappers or talks about living in group homes, political commentary: “Ol’ earth know it’s hurt / he provides texture that makes his songs multi- Like pussy we pound it / Break it, buy it / Tell it dimensional. And he always says something about that it need to diet / What this nation really needs Chicago—and specifi cally the places around the city is a pussy riot.” Chill is the kind of rapper who can where we’ve both been—that helps me see things rhyme the French cartoon character Caillou with with a fresh perspective, such as when he raps the Japanese monster genre kaiju on one song about drinking and writing songs at Tonic Room on (“Clypped”) and then call out police brutality on “Monster Bride.” —LG the next (“Peso”). His fl ow feels slow, but his sharp tongue shows he’s got a lot on his mind. Like many of the best songwriters, Chill makes everything he does look easy while inviting his listeners to laugh, FRIDAY28 think, and groove all at once. —N B The world may never catch up to Chicago rap- Buk & Dawreck 10 PM, Subterranean, 2011 W. per Vic Spencer—not that he seems to mind. He’s North, $15. 21+ been prolific and fierce on the mike throughout 2018, starting with January’s Spencer for Higher, a Over the past year or so I’ve noticed a handful collaboration with UK producer SonnyJim. Since of Chicago hip-hop veterans gravitating back to then, he’s dropped three solo albums: June’s D u ffl e releasing music on physical media a er long stints of Gems, August’s A Smile Killed My Demons (which of focusing on digital platforms (whether free- you could only get by sending Spencer $20 via Pay- download mixtape sites or major players such as Pal), and November’s compact Stupid, which he Spotify and Apple). Perhaps they’re following the released on the Backcourt label. On Stupid, Spen- example of DJ and Black Pegasus label head Mark cer raps as if he’s competing with himself—through- Davis. Since starting the company in 2010, he’s com- out his tough-as-nails performances and vital vers- pletely avoided digital releases, and he’d become es, he delivers lines that could either draw a chuck- known for reissuing obscure local rap recordings le or land like a punch in the gut. Though Spencer’s on vinyl well before this spring’s launch of the new fl ow is distinct to the degree that I can anticipate seven-inch series Seven Sense; he kicked things off when he might pause to take a breath between with a couple of previously unissued early Common lines, I can never predict where he’ll take a song; he recordings. For the most part, this new surge of fi nds new nuance and life in the themes he’s been physical releases has focused on archival materi- rapping about for years—even when he rags on al or reissues—such as the vinyl repressing of the
30 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll Find more music listings at chicagoreader.com/soundboard. MUSIC
long-out-of-print debut from Chicago rap group DKV trio See Thursday. 9 PM, Elastic, 3429 W. Tha Chamba, Makin Illa Noize, from Belgian label Diversey, $20. b Taha. However, Scattered Bodies, aka west-side rap heroes Buk (of Psychodrama) and Da Wreck (of Triple Darkness), dropped their recent self- titled Ryley Walker See Pick of the Week, page 29. debut in two formats they’ve described as “collect- Ohmme and Ben LaMar Gay open. 9 PM, Empty ible editions.” They’re selling their run of 300 CDs Bottle, 1035 N. Western, $18, $15 in advance. 21+ and 30 cassettes for $35 a pop online; both ver- sions come with trading cards and a poster (Reader contributor Steve Krakow did the artwork). I imag- Inspector Owl Troubled Hubble and Fckr Jr. ine that the limited supply has encouraged Chica- open. 8 PM, Schubas, 3159 N. Southport, $10. 18+ go hip-hop evangelists to pony up (I sure did), but I do wish Scattered Bodies were available to more Perhaps when the retro gaze of pop-music culture listeners. Limited releases can ensure that music shifts to aughties indie rock, some future archi- receives attention from those most likely to appreci- vists will give Inspector Owl a little more attention ate it, rather than risk getting lost in the algorithmic than they’ve received in their time. The fi ve-piece abyss of Spotify (though two singles are available group hail from the western suburb of Geneva, through the streaming giant). But I imagine that and over their 15 years together, their activity has somewhere out there are young rap fanatics with become more sporadic; they’ve released one sin- no sense of the history of Chicago’s west-side scene gle every year for the past three, but it’s clear the who’d nonetheless go bonkers over the interplay band’s members have had other priorities. Last between Buk’s sturdy fl ow and DaWreck’s off -the- month Inspector Owl announced their impending chain rapping on “Trumpets.” At tonight’s release fi nal show on Facebook: “Life has taken everyone party for Scattered Bodies’ debut, you can hear in diff erent directions and we are scattered across these songs live for less than half what the album multiple states and thousands of miles. We want to costs—though I can’t promise you won’t want to turn spend the evening with as many friends and fami- right around and buy it. —LG ly as possible.” So why not join them for the cele- bration? Inspector Owl’s most recent album, a J
Snail Mail + Taylor Bennett + Charly Bliss CAVE + WAND + Sarah Shook & the Disarmers MNDSGN + Bad Bad Hats + Still Woozy + Petal Yoke Lore + David Bazan + Grails + Negative Gemini TNKFEST.COM Vacationer + Luke Vibert + Mixed Prints (DJ Set) Lincoln Hall + Schubas Metro + Smartbar Talkhouse + Feets Don't Fail + Deep Breakfast Hideout Neil Hamburger + It's A Guy Thing + ClickHole Live Sleeping Village Kate Berlant + Ladylike + Helltrap Nightmare + MANY MORE
ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 31 Find more music listings at MUSIC chicagoreader.com/soundboard.
Inspector Owl COURTESY THE ARTIST
continued from 31 me kill his mom.” On “Window,” though, Noname self-titled collection they self-released in 2012, sum- gets personal, baring her soul about an empty rela- mons the quixotic magic of the recently bygone tionship: “I knew you never love me / But I fucked era that birthed the group, when the best indie you anyway / I guess a bitch like to gamble / I guess rock sounded alternately scruffy and ambitious a bitch like to lonely.” Noname’s lyrical nimbleness, (and even middle-of-the-road material had a novel the thematic substantiveness of her songs, and the charm). But Inspector Owl is more than just a senti- dexterity of her exceptional backing band combine mental visit to the sounds of times past; it contains to make her one of most unique voices to emerge in glimmers of greatness, such as the tender arrange- hip-hop in a while. —SM ment on “Building Forts That Last Longer Than Cas- tles.” —LG SUNDAY30 SATURDAY29 Noname See Saturday. 9 PM, Thalia Hall, 1807 S. Allport, sold out. 17+ Noname See also Sunday and Monday. 9 PM, Thalia Hall, 1807 S. Allport, sold out. b Screaming Females See also Monday. Rad Capping off a year in which she self-released her Payoff and Djunah open. 8 PM, Beat Kitchen, critically acclaimed sophomore LP, Room 25, Chi- 2100 W. Belmont, $17. 17+ cago rapper and poet Noname is set to close out 2018 with three consecutive hometown performanc- This high-and-tight New Jersey trio, o en credited es. Born Fatimah Nyeema Warner, the Bronzeville with single-handedly defending the honor of heavy native went by Noname Gypsy before settling indie rock ’n’ roll since they emerged in 2005, hone on her current nom de plume, under which she their attack through near-constant gigging. In fact, dropped her 2016 mixtape of hip-hop-infused neo- Screaming Females play in town so o en you’d be soul, Telefone. Room 25 maintains the same upbeat, forgiven for thinking they’re local. (The 2014 album melodic vibes as that debut, and it showcases Live at the Hideout, recorded with Steve Albini and Noname’s evolution as an artist, with poignant com- Timothy Powell in a porta-studio in the alley behind mentary on racial and sociopolitical subjects, vivid- the club, cements their status as honorary Chica- ly sexual lyrics, and beautiful live instrumentation goans in my book.) The band’s seventh full-length, and string arrangements. After the soulful, word- February’s All at Once, does exactly what the title less intro to “Self,” the album turns to address liv- suggests, offering up a filler-free journey through ing while black in America on “Blaxploitation” and every trick they’ve developed over the years. Their “Prayer Song.” The former speaks to stereotypes more introspective tunes are perfectly placed of blackness and the hypocrisy of those preying on between their wall slammers, while front woman those stereotypes (with a jab at Hillary Clinton for Marissa Paternoster provides ever-surprising erup- “masquerading the system”), while the latter indicts tions of delight through her guitar heroics. Scream- the police violence plaguing the black communi- ing Females bring their raw energy to the intimate ty using the imagined voice of an offi cer: “Put your Beat Kitchen for a two-night stand that ought to kick hands behind your back, ante up all your crack, bitch 2018’s rotting ass out the back door. Forget the pric- / I seen a cell phone on the dash, could’ve sworn it’s ey New Year’s Eve party packages at other clubs; a gun / I ain’t see a toddler in the back a er fi ring this year needs an exorcism, and I trust Screaming seven shots / A demon ’bout to get me, he watching Females to do it right. —MK
32 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll MUSIC N LINCOLN AVENUE, CHICAGO IL OLDTOWNSCHOOL.ORG ..
SATURDAY, JANUARY PM
William Fitzsimmons
SUNDAY, JANUARY PM
Kathy Mattea
SATURDAY, JANUARY PM Doug Martsch (of Built to Spill) Noname CHANTAL ANDERSON SUNDAY, JANUARY :AM
Justin Roberts & The Not Ready for Family Naptime Players concert
THURSDAY, JANUARY PM Sammy Miller and The Congregation
THURSDAY, JANUARY PM
their most rock eff ective, and Bognanno adds fur- Kasey Chambers ther proof with her scratchy yowl. On “Kills to Be MONDAY31 Campfi re Tour USA • with guest Carly Burruss Resistant,” “Blame,” and “Focused,” she’s unapolo- Bully Accessory and Wulfpac open. 8:30 PM, getic about every one of her judgments about those FRIDAY, FEBRUARY :PM Empty Bottle, 1035 N. Western, sold out. 21+ who wronged her, o en using the band’s swelling crescendos to let us know what she really thinks— WBEZ Podcast Passport Presents On Bully’s second full-length record, Losing (Sub just so there’s no confusion whatsoever. Each track Pop), vocalist and guitarist Alicia Bognanno doesn’t represents a power-and-glory musical moment in a NPR'S Embedded fuck around much. As suggested by its blunt cover cruel, cruel world where guitar rock rarely gets its art—a stark black-and-white photo of Bognanno sit- due anymore, and that’s worth some appreciation. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY PM ting cross-legged with her hair shrouding her face— The most important things you need to know for Losing is sincere but exacting, a record balanced tonight’s purposes are that Bully is very good live, Dead Horses with special guest between emotive indie-rock moments and rip cords and this is a New Year’s Eve show, and, well, go get The Brother Brothers • In Szold Hall of grungy distortion that make way for sustain- loose. —KW pedal superriff s. In the latter instances, Bully are at J SATURDAY, FEBRUARY PM Masters of Hawaiian Music: George Kahumoku Jr., Nathan Aweau & Kawika
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY PM
John McCutcheon In Szold Hall
Screaming ACROSS THE STREET IN SZOLD HALL Females N LINCOLN AVENUE, CHICAGO IL COURTESY GIRLIE ACTION Global Dance Party: Salsa Congress
WORLD MUSIC WEDNESDAY SERIES FREE WEEKLY CONCERTS, LINCOLN SQUARE SOUL André Mehmari Trio Los Pireris Beppe Gambetta
OLDTOWNSCHOOL.ORG ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 33 Find more music listings at 3730 N. CLARK ST MUSIC chicagoreader.com/soundboard. METROCHICAGO.COM @ METROCHICAGO
PAUL SONS OF THE continued from 33 JOHNSON'S SILENT AGE BDAY CELEBRATION FT. MICHAEL SHANNON Nick Lowe with Los Straitjackets ROY DAVIS JR. AS LOU REED The Joel Paterson Trio opens. 10 PM, SPACE, 1245 DJ PIERRE / DJ LILTAL FUN HOUSE /WINGTIPS b FRI JAN 11 / 9PM / 21+ JAN 12 / 8PM / 18+ Chicago, Evanston, $75. Though at first glance the matching suits and SECOND SHOW ADDED! Mexican wrestling masks favored by Los Strait- IN TOP NOTE THEATRE STEPHEN jackets might point to the contrary, the Nashville TNK 2019 WITH MALKMUS instrumental rock group are anything but a one- FACS & THE JICKS note gimmick. If their novelties got your attention, DIM DEHD more power to them, but with or without the visu- SUN JAN 20 / 8PM / 21+ WED JAN 23 / 8PM / 18+ als, Los Straitjackets do a fantastic job extending the legacy of late-50s instrumental groups such as the Ventures and the Fireballs. Led by guitar- ist Eddie Angel, last year they released What’s So Funny About Peace, Love and . . . Los Straitjackets, a smart tribute to veteran musician, songwriter, and producer Nick Lowe—the band backed him on the April EP Tokyo Bay/Crying Inside, and they’ve been touring with him throughout 2018. Not only does the album prove the group to be a fi tting counter- part for Lowe, it shows the durability of Lowe’s mel- odies when reinterpreted as instrumentals. If there’s ever room enough to change the arrangement of a song, Los Straitjackets will certainly find it: on “Heart of the City” they give a bluesy makeover to Alicia Bognanno of Bully ALYSSE GAFKJEN one of Lowe’s more punk-flavored originals, while their take on “Cruel to Be Kind” transforms the original happy-go-lucky power-pop number into a of the band remains drummer Andrew Reesen Duane Eddy-style love ballad. And as anybody who and guitarist, bassist, and vocalist Andy Schoen- witnessed the Lowe/Straitjackets show at FitzGer- grund (who previously played with Wolvhammer, ald’s last summer will recall, in a live setting Angel Empires, and Halcyon, among others). They’re and company give the songwriter the kick his great touring as a two-piece, and at tonight’s show fans material requires. Tonight they’re ringing in the New can buy a CD version of the forthcoming Fear Year, so it might be just a little too late for them Rides a Shadow, whose vinyl edition drops in Feb- to perform anything from Lowe’s 2013 Christmas ruary —MK v album, Quality Street—but it’s not too late for a qual- ity show. —JP
Noname See Saturday. 9 PM, Thalia Hall, 1807 S. Allport, $30-$60. 21+
Screaming Females See Sunday. Rad Payoff SMARTBARCHICAGO.COM and Djunah open. 8:30 PM, Beat Kitchen, 2100 W. Belmont, $17. 17+ 3730 N CLARK ST | 21+ DJ SEINFELD SATURDAY5 Feral Light Nequient, Plague of Carcosa, and + Ed Nine b2b KE Scumlord open. 8 PM, Reggie’s Music Joint, 2105 S. State, $10. 21+
Feral Light began life as an aggressive crusty blackened hardcore act with harrowing stories to tell of war and cruelty—on their 2015 self-titled demo, the Minneapolis-based band threw down a bloodstained gauntlet. But starting with the 2016 EP A Sound of Moving Shadows, they started to expand and stretch out aurally and thematically. Friday 10PM By last year’s Void/Sanctify, the group had devel- January 11 21+ oped a more mystical, philosophical, and abstract bent. Various members have passed through Feral Light’s ranks over the years, but the core Nick Lowe COURTESY THE ARTIST TICKETS AVAILABLE VIA METRO + SMART BAR WEBSITES + METRO BOX OFFICE. NO SERVICE FEES AT BOX OFFICE!
34 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll Less clicking.
More picking.
THIS WEEKEND AT THE RIVIERA THEATRE! FRIDAY 12/28 WITH JEFF AUSTIN BAND SATURDAY 12/29 WITH JEFF AUSTIN BAND SUNDAY 12/30 WITH HORSESHOES & HAND GRENADES NEW YEAR’S EVE – 3 FULL GREENSKY SETS! GET TICKETS AT JAMUSA.COM OR AT THE DOOR
THE LATEST ON WHO’S PLAYING AND WHERE THEY’RE PLAYING EARLY WARNINGS WEEKLY E-BLAST Start a new tradition GET UP TO DATE. SIGN UP NOW. this holiday season. Grab gift certificates for yourself and everyone on your list. Winter group classes in music, dance & more are forming now. CHICAGOREADER.COM oldtownschool.org ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 35 Avenue, M/C 937, Chicago, IL 60612. parameters; & 3) dsgng & dvlpg auto- Robert at (312) 574-3794 BEDROOM MK CONSULTING with the business JOBS The University of Illinois is an mation & infrastructure components of located at: 740 W. FULTON ST. UNIT GENERAL Equal Opportunity, Affi rmative Action algorithmic trading systems using Py- Hyatt Corporation seeks a Lead Full Two Bedroom: Large two bedroom 1006, CHICAGO, IL 60661. The true employer. Minorities, women, veterans thon. In lieu of master’s deg plus 2 yrs Stack Developer in Chicago, IL to duplex near Warren Park. 1900 W. and real full name(s) and residence and individuals with disabilities are of exp, will accept bachelor’s deg plus work on eCommerce and marketing Pratt. 2 full bathrooms. Heat included. address of the owner(s)/partner(s) is: encouraged to apply. The University 5 yrs of exp in same fi elds. Interested projects, as well as new groundbreak- Private storage. Cats OK. $1600/ MEGAN KOVACH 740 W. FULTON ST. The Research Resources Center of Illinois may conduct background candidates should send resume to: ing applications designed for Hyatt month. Available 1/1. (773) 761- 4318 UNIT 1006, CHICAGO, IL 60661, USA (RRC) at the University of Illinois at checks on all job candidates upon [email protected] with “Quan- hotel associates and guests. BS & 8 www.lakefrontmgt.com (12/27) Chicago, located in a large metropol- acceptance of a contingent offer. titative Researcher” in subject line. yrs. To apply submit cover letter and itan area, is seeking a full-time Assis- Background checks will be performed resume to: Hyatt Corporation, Attn: Two bedroom apartment, second Notice is hereby given, pursuant tant Director of Research Resource in compliance with the Fair Credit TransUnion, LLC seeks Sr. Analysts Mecca Wilkinson 150 N Riverside floor. Parking spot. Laundry room. to “An Act in relation to the use of Support to assist the department Reporting Act. for Chicago, IL location to apply Plaza, Floor 14, Chicago, IL 60606 Heating and water is included. $1,000/ an Assumed Business Name in the create IT security plans for biomedical analytics to data to describe, predict, month. 773-889-8491 conduct or transaction of Business research lab equipment and integrate Trader sought by IMC Americas, Inc. in & improve business performance. Quantitative Trading Analyst: Chica- in the State,” as amended, that a the department’s website with the Chicago, IL to actively build & en- Master’s in Comp. Sci./Management go IL. 2 openings. Look for statistical Condo for Rent, 2 Bedrooms/1 certification was registered by the University systems and databases. hance the quality of electronic trading Info. Systems/related fi eld + 2yrs exp. arbitrage opportunities in fi n markets Bath in Jeff erson Park at 5444-46 W. undersigned with the County Clerk of Provide operational support related strategies in partnership with a global or Bachelor’s Comp. Sci./Manage- electr using math comp & spec quan- Gale St. Newly remodeled, freshly Cook County. Registration Number: to fi nancial reporting, service pricing, team of traders, quantitative analysts ment Info. Systems/related fi eld + 5yrs titative trading models. Determine/dev painted, new hardwood fl oors. Heat, Y18000033 on December 6, 2018 budgeting, billing, and compliance. & engineers & to trade a exp. req’d. Skills req’d: Web Analytics, method, tools to analyze large data Gas & Water included. 1 Reserved Under the Assumed Business Name Be responsible for network modeling, range of financial instruments in a Google Analytics, Google Tag Manag- to improve trading strategy’s perfor. Parking space. Storage room includ- of EMMA’S DINER with the business analysis, planning and coordination low-latency, proprietary trading; mar- er, Segmentation & Targeting, Project Utilize proprietary meth & trading ed. No Pets. No smoking. Shared located at: 5200 N SHERIDAN RD APT between network and data commu- ket making envrmt. This position reqs Management, Agile Framework, CSS, systems. Research meth for capturing Laundry onsite. Available now. Rent 301, CHICAGO, IL 60640. The true nications hardware and software, a Master deg in mathematics, physics, Confluence, Jira, Java, JavaScript, risk exp, eval risk/reward & perf attri- is $1700 plus deposit. Call Javier at and real full name(s) and residence including network security measures. engg or related quantitative; analytical jQuery, SQL, MSSQL, Relational bution across multiple asset classes. 1 773-610-0782. address of the owner(s)/partner(s) Develop and implement new research fi eld; 1 yr of exp in proprietary trading. Databases, R, SPSS. Send resume to: yr exp. Master’s in Statistics, Finance is: JOSHUA W GOLDSTEIN 5200 N protocols, oversee the operation and Must have some work exp with each R. Harvey, REF: SPB, 555 W Adams, or Mathematics. Must have 1 yr exp: SHERIDAN RD APT 301 CHICAGO, IL maintenance of highly specialized of the following: 1) dvlpg market Chicago, IL 60661 High level of profi ciency in R, Matlab, GENERAL 60640, USA (12/27) instrumentation, and provide expertise making strategies for European index Excel or VBA ; demonstr course on the use of research equipment options; 2) coordinating with global Parker Hannifi n Corp in Elk Grove, work in Probability Theory, Statistics, 3 fl at - owner occupied quiet build- within grant proposals. Prepare and teams to facilitate 24-hour trading, IL seeks an Applications Engineer to Stochastic Calculus & related fi elds ing in South Shore. Deluxe garden implement end user documentation decision-making for major U.S. work w/ customer & sales group to de- of math. Res: DV Group, LLC; hr@ apartment. $890 a month. Includes MARKETPLACE and training for new and current users funds including FX, U.S. Treasuries, fi ne scope of proposed new product dvtrading.co heat, air conditioning, water, washer GENERAL of RRC research facilities. Participate SPX, commodities, 3) dvlpg volatil- development projects. Reqs BS+5yrs & dryer that can be used. Garage in university and community out-reach ity execution algorithms to identify exp.;travel 3-4 trips (Americas, Eu- parking. Gated building. Call Ms. Alex- programs for STEM fi elds. Supervise eff ective hedges in various markets. rope, Asia) per year; For complete reqs ander, 773 978 5518 MASSAGES 1-2 IT Technical Associates. In lieu of masters deg plus 1 yr of & to apply, visit: www.parker.com/ Requirements are a Bachelor’s exp, will accept bachelors deg plus 5 careers - Job ID# 12436. REAL Lincoln Park Studio Erotic Massage by Lauren and Holly. degree or its foreign equivalent in yrs of exp in same fi elds. Interested Webster House Two or four hand sessions with two Management Information Systems, candidates should send resume to: Statistical Model Developer: devlp ESTATE Section 8 Studio lovely. MILF’s in the Schaumburg area. Engineering, Computer Science, or [email protected] with “Trader” models related to financial trading RENTALS Waitlist currently open Please call or text for more information. related fi eld of study, plus 3 years of in subject line. platform; Masters in mathematical Call 773-348-6800 if interested 331 223-3143 experience in the information tech- finance, or rel. plus 6 mos exp. as Equal Housing Opportunity nologies fi eld. One year of experience Quantitative Researcher sought by a programmer analyst or rel. Apply: BEDROOM working with databases required; one IMC Americas, Inc. in Chicago, IL to Arclight Securities LLC, 401 S LaSalle year of experience creating and main- dvlp quantitative, data-driven models #1500, Chicago, IL60605, Attn: HR One Bedroom: Large one bedroom VALENTINE’S taining virtual machines and VMWare to improve IMC’s global automated apartment near Metra and Warren LEGAL NOTICE tools required; one year of experience trading platform. This position reqs Park. 1904 W. Pratt. Hardwood fl oors. in a supervisory role required; one DAY ISSUE
CLASSIFIEDS a Master’s deg in mathematics, Cats OK. heat Included. $975/month. year of project leadership experience statistics, or fi nance & 2 yrs of exp in Available 1/1. (773) 761-4318. www. Notice is hereby given, pursuant required; and one year of experience proprietary trading. Must have some lakefrontmgt.com to “An Act in relation to the use of Want to send a note to someone spe- working with highly sensitive research work exp with each of the following: an Assumed Business Name in the cial? An old fl ame, a missed match, equipment required. For fullest con- 1) conducting quantitative research One Bedroom: Large one bedroom conduct or transaction of Business or an ongoing partner? The Reader sideration, please submit a CV, cover including computational finance & CAMPAIGN JOBS apartment near red line 6824 N in the State,” as amended, that a wants to be your destination for love. letter, and 3 references to the attention statistical data analysis to implmt & Help doctors save lives across the Wayne. Hardwood floors. Pets OK. certification was registered by the Call 312-392-2934 or email snlane@ of the Search Coordinator via email at execute trading strategies for options world. Work for Grassroots Cam- Heat included. $950/month. Available undersigned with the County Clerk of chicagoreadercorp.com to submit [email protected], or via mail at Uni- & futures; 2) performing volatility paigns on behalf of Doctors Without 1/1. (773) 761-4318. www.lakefront- Cook County. Registration Number: your message. First ten words free, JOBS versity of Illinois at Chicago, Research modeling & testing & analyzing market Borders. Earn $12.50-$15.50 per hour. mgt.com D18156043 on December 3, 2018. $10 for additional twenty words. Resources Center, 835 S Wolcott microstructure to optimize trading Full-Time /Part-Time/ Career CALL Under the Assumed Business Name of ADMINISTRATIVE SALES & MARKETING FOOD & DRINK SPAS & SALONS BIKE JOBS GENERAL THE LATEST ON YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANTS AND BARS REAL ESTATE FOOD & DRINK RENTALS FOR SALE NON-RESIDENTIAL WEEKLY E-BLAST ADMIRAL ROOMATES ★★ THEATRE ★★ MARKET- GET UP TO DATE. SIGN UP NOW. PLACE GOODS SERVICES HEALTH & 3940 W LAWRENCE WELLNESS INSTRUCTION OPEN 7PM TO 6AM MUSIC & ARTS CHICAGOREADER.COM ADMIRALX.COM NOTICES (773) 478-8111 MESSAGES MUST BE 18 TO ENTER LEGAL NOTICES ADULT SERVICES 36 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll By Dan Savage SAVAGE LOVE
has zero interest in bondage. STEM fi eld (read: hard to good reason to break up He can’t see why I’m upset, fi nd jobs) and has a decent with someone promptly: A Two breakups, one brake on and I’m not sure what to do. amount of school debt. We person (not the person) your —B IN D also have a dog. We live ex could spend the rest of Old-fashioned relationship advice for the newfangled relationship in a city where the rents their life with might cross a: So now that you’re in love, are high and it’s harder to their path two months from and now that you’ve signed fi nd a place that will allow now—and if they’re still with a lease, and now that you’re dogs. (She will defi nitely you then or still reeling from trapped, BIND, now—NOW— be taking the dog.) The a very recent breakup, they your vanilla boyfriend yanks thing is, she would almost won’t say yes (old-fashioned) : I’m a thirtysomething a: You complain about partner (nor are you much back the accommodation certainly want to move out or swipe right (newfangled). straight woman married for being relegated to the interested in being your hus- that convinced you to date immediately if we broke But there are exceptions 16 years. Eighteen months back seat, SMACK, but band’s wife), so you’ll have him in the fi rst place? There’s up. I’m worried that if she to every rule, DUMP, and ago, I met a man and there it’s your husband whose to call your lover’s bluff. And only one thing you can do: tried to absorb the fi nancial I think your case qualifies. was an immediate attraction. existence only comes up in the only card you have to DTMFA. hit of a breakup, it might As with many exceptions to For the fi rst 15 months of parenthetical asides. You also play—and it’s a weak hand torpedo her education and many rules, your exception our relationship, I was his describe this relationship (all hands with just one card : I am 30 and male, and I life plans. I am at a loss for honors the spirit of the rule primary sexual and intimate as a triad when there are are)—is to dump your lover have been with my girlfriend what to do. She’s leaving in itself. Both reasons I cite partner, as both sex and four people involved (you, unless he leaves his wife for for fi ve years. For a slew of a week to visit her family for for breaking up with some- intimacy were lacking in his your lover, your lover’s wife, you. Success rests on the reasons (we have almost a month—should I dump her one promptly—to spare your marriage. (My husband knew and your husband), which outside chance your lover no interests/hobbies in before then so she can lean soon-to-be ex’s feelings, to of the relationship from the technically makes this a was bluffing when he said common, our personalities on them? Should I wait until get out of the way of your start and is accepting for the quad. And from the sound he’d replace you, but I sup- are completely diff erent, we she graduates but dodge soon-to-be ex’s future—are most part.) A er my lover’s of things, only one member pose it’s possible he regards aren’t sexually compatible), questions about where I’m about being considerate wife found out about me, of this messy quad seems you as the irreplaceable one I have decided to end it. willing to move if she gets a of your soon-to-be ex. And she suddenly became very happy—your lover, the guy and only said those hurtful She’s a good, smart, well- job off er somewhere else? that’s just what you’re doing: responsive to my lover’s who refuses to make you a things to make you think he educated person for whom —D U You want to end this rela- sexual and emotional needs. “priority” over his wife. wouldn’t choose you when I wish only the best. I’m MP tionship now, but you’re My lover has told his wife And while you’ve con- you are the one he would’ve thinking of breaking up with going to wait six months that he will not let me go. He vinced yourself that your chosen all along. If it turns her sometime this week a: As a general rule, one because you don’t want has also told me that he is lover feels as strongly for out that this was the case, or halfway through next should never drag out to derail your soon-to-be not willing to let his wife go. you as you do for him—“we SMACK, you’ll wind up with year. I know you believe an inevitable breakup. ex-girlfriend’s education or She isn’t happy about being feel we are soul mates”—it your soul mate . . . who hap- someone should tell a We should break up with career prospects. So out of in a triad relationship, but kindasorta sounds to me pens to be kindasorta cruel partner about these sorts people promptly to spare consideration for her, DUMP, she allows him to continue like you may be projecting, and manipulative. of feelings ASAP to avoid our exes the humiliation you should coast for a bit seeing me with limitations. SMACK. Because in addi- Calling your lover’s bluff— robbing them of time they of thinking back over the longer. v I am no longer his primary tion to asking you to pick out ending a relationship that, in could have spent fi xing last few months or (God sex partner, and I have Christmas gifts for his wife, its current form, brings you the situation or moving on. forbid!) the last few years Send letters to mail@ been relegated to the back your lover and alleged soul no joy—is your only hope of Something inside me tells and recalling every painfully savagelove.net. Download seat. He claims to love us mate regards you as expend- having this guy to yourself. me that my case is diff erent. ambiguous or deceitfully the Savage Lovecast every both, yet his wife and I both able and replaceable. And But the likelier outcome is My girlfriend is a graduate upbeat conversation about Tuesday at thestranger.com. struggle knowing the other he’s told you as much: He that you’ll be left alone (with, student in a non-tech/ Our Shared Future. Another @fakedansavage exists. Recently while out intends to “find a new sec- um, your husband). shopping, my lover asked ondary partner” if you two me to help him pick out a part because his wife doesn’t : My boyfriend and I met Christmas gi for his wife. “give him the soulful fulfill- at a bondage party a year I got upset because I am ment he needs.” That’s not ago. He’s not into bondage in love with him, and I have how people talk about their (he tagged along with a kinky made him my priority (over soul mates, and it’s certainly friend). We hit it off in the my husband), but I am not not something a guy says to chill-out room and started his priority. I love this man someone he regards as his seeing each other. He told and we feel we are soul soul mate. Soul mates are me it was okay for me to mates. My lover has said typically told they’re spe- keep going to bondage that if we fall apart, he will cial and irreplaceable, but parties and seeing some have to fi nd a new secondary your guy sees you as one of guys I play with one-on-one. partner because his wife can many potential seconds out Then right a er we moved in never give him the soulful there, and therefore utterly together, he said he doesn’t fulfi llment he needs. Should I replaceable. want me playing with anyone continue in this relationship? Here’s what you ought to else because we are in love. —SMA C do: You aren’t interested in Which means I can’t get tied K being your lover’s secondary up at all anymore because he ll DECEMBER - CHICA OREADER 37 CHICAGOSHOWSYOUSHOULDKNOWABOUTINTHEWEEKSTOCOME
EARLY WARNINGS b ALL AGES F WOLF BY KEITH HERZIK Judas Priest 5/25, 8 PM, Rose- Never miss mont Theater, Rosemont a show again. Stephen Kellogg 3/22, 9 PM, Lincoln Hall, 18+ Sign up for the Kid Capri 1/4, 10 PM, the newsletter at Promontory chicagoreader. King Crimson 9/10, 8 PM, Audi- GOSSIP torium Theatre com/early King Tuff , Stonefi eld 1/26, 9 PM, Lincoln Hall, 18+ WOLF Kiss 3/2, 7:30 PM, United Teenage Fanclub 3/6, 7:30 PM, Center Metro, 18+ A furry ear to the ground of Mark Knopfl er 9/1, 7:30 PM, This Must Be the Band 2/15-16, Chicago Theatre 8 PM, The Vic, 18+ the local music scene Le Butcherettes 2/20, 8 PM, Paul Thorn Band 5/2, 8 PM, Cobra Lounge, 17+ SPACE, Evanston b GUITARISTANDSOULSINGER Isaiah Lemon Twigs 1/25, 9 PM, Yann Tiersen 5/18, 8:30 PM, Metro, 18+ Thalia Hall, 17+ Sharkey has Chicago’s DNA in his veins— Phil Lesh & the Terrapin Fam- Toh Kay 2/1, 8 PM, Thalia he lived in Cabrini-Green as a kid and sat ily Band 3/7-8, 8 PM, Thalia Hall, 17+ in at the Velvet Lounge as a teenager. As Hall, 17+ Token 2/18, 7 PM, Reggie’s an adult, he’s become an in-demand hired Jeff Lynne’s ELO 6/27, 8 PM, Rock Club, 18+ United Center Tokyo Police Club 4/26, 9 PM, hand, playing on D’Angelo’s Grammy- Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks Empty Bottle winning 2014 masterpiece Black Messiah 1/23, 8 PM, Metro, 18+ Tourist 2/21, 8 PM, Sleeping and bringing his blistering runs to John Yob JAMES REXROAD Mandolin Orange 2/16, 8 PM, Village Mayer’s touring band. In 2017, he released Thalia Hall, 17+ Train, Goo Goo Dolls 7/20, Mineral, Tancred 1/24, 9 PM, 7 PM, Hollywood Casino his debut solo full-length, Love Life Live, Corrosion of Conformity, Lincoln Hall Amphitheatre, Tinley Park an underappreciated album heavy on ele- NEW UPDATED Crowbar, Weedeater 2/9, Misfi ts, Fear, Venom Inc. 4/27, Two Friends 1/25, 8 PM, Con- gant Aquarian soul that features cameos 7:30 PM, Bottom Lounge, 17+ 7:30 PM, Allstate Arena, cord Music Hall, 18+ by the likes of DJ Jazzy Jeff and Lalah American Football 3/30, 9 PM, Tonight Alive 2/12, 6:30 PM, Daughters, Blanck Mass 3/8, Rosemont Sharon Van Etten 2/14-15, Metro, 18+ Bottom Lounge, canceled 8 PM, Bottom Lounge, 17+ Monolord 4/26, 8:30 PM, 8:30 PM, Thalia Hall, 17+ Hathaway. Sharkey says he’s at work on Erykah Badu 1/19, 8 PM, Ara- Dead & Company 6/14-15, 7 PM, Empty Bottle Verve Pipe 3/29, 8 PM, City Love Is the Key, a new record “that refl ects gon Ballroom, 17+ Wrigley Field Bob Mould Band 2/22-23, 8 PM, Winery b funk, jazz, classic R&B, hip-hop, and other Black Moth Super Rainbow UPCOMING Deerhunter 2/17, 8 PM, Lincoln Metro, 18+ Wisin y Yandel 6/7, 8 PM, All- genres that’ve infl uenced me throughout 3/20, 8 PM, Sleeping Village Hall, 18+ Muse, Walk the Moon 4/12, state Arena, Rosemont Cold Cave, Adult. 2/27, 8 PM, Aces 3/9, 8 PM, Lincoln Hall b Dream Theater 3/29, 8 PM, 8 PM, United Center Chely Wright 1/27, 7 PM, my journey.” He plans a spring release, and Metro, 18+ Acid Mothers Temple, Yaman- Chicago Theatre Tom Odell 4/30, 7:30 PM, SPACE, Evanston b he’ll play Chop Shop on Thursday, Decem- Mike Doughty, Wheatus 3/7, taka // Sonic Titan 4/13, Thomas Dybdahl 1/31, 8 PM, Thalia Hall b Rachael Yamagata 1/29-30, ber 27, with Slique Jay Adams and Aniba 8 PM, Sleeping Village 8:30 PM, Empty Bottle SPACE, Evanston b Anders Osborne 2/9, 7 and 8 PM, City Winery b Hotep & the Sol Collective. Empress Of 3/1, 9 PM, Sleep- Action Bronson, Meyhem Fleetwood Mac 3/1, 8 PM, 10 PM, City Winery b Yawning Man, Freedom Hawk ing Village Lauren 2/23, 6 PM, Concord United Center Parcels 3/1, 9 PM, Lincoln 1/23, 8:30 PM, Empty Bottle Humboldt Park Orchestra founder Face to Face 2/23, 9 PM, Sub- Music Hall, 17+ Flesh Eaters 3/10, 8 PM, Lin- Hall, 18+ Yoshi Flower 2/5, 8 PM, Angel Rodriguez says he launched the terranean, 17+ Anderson .Paak 2/16, 8 PM, coln Hall Perfume 4/5, 8 PM, Chicago Schubas, 18+ combo in December 2013 “to feature top Face to Face acoustic 2/21, Riviera Theatre b Marty Friedman 2/13, 7 PM, Theatre You Me at Six 3/2, 7 PM, Bot- local salsa musicians, most of them band- 8 PM, Subterranean, 17+ As It Is 2/15, 6 PM, Subterra- Reggie’s Rock Club, 17+ Perturbator 5/9, 8:30 PM, tom Lounge b Homeshake 3/29, 8 PM, nean b Gnash 1/26, 7:30 PM, Bottom Thalia Hall, 17+ Yung Gravy 2/21, 7:30 PM, leaders in their own right.” Since then he Metro b Backstreet Boys 8/10, 8 PM, Lounge b Pom-Poms 1/12, 8:30 PM, Metro b and the HPO have backed many famous J Boog, Earthkry 2/28, 8 PM, United Center Ariana Grande 4/7-8, 7:30 PM, Empty Bottle Yuri & Pandora 3/16, 8 PM, artists and covered the whole histo- Bottom Lounge, 17+ Bad Boy Bill 1/19, 10 PM, the United Center Procol Harum 2/20-21, 8 PM, Rosemont Theater, Rosemont ry of salsa, merengue, and bachata. On Freddy Jones Band 3/24, 8 PM, Mid Health 4/20, 8:30 PM, Bottom City Winery b Zeke Beats 1/12, 8 PM, Subter- City Winery, on sale Fri 12/28, Baroness, Dea eaven 3/31, Lounge b Quinn XCII 3/20, 6 PM, Riviera ranean, 18+ Wednesday, January 2, they celebrate noon b 6:30 PM, Riviera Theatre b High on Fire 1/22, 8 PM, Theatre b Zomboy 2/8, 9 PM, Aragon their fifth anniversary at Alhambra Pal- La Luz 3/22, 9 PM, Sleeping Adrian Belew 4/4, 8 PM, Maur- Metro, 18+ Rivers of Nihil, Entheos 3/5, Ballroom, 18+ ace (1240 W. Randolph) with a tribute to Village er Hall, Old Town School of Hives, Refused 5/20, 7 PM, the 7 PM, Reggie’s Rock Club, 17+ women in salsa, featuring singers Marisol Meek Mill 3/8, 7:30 PM, Aragon Folk Music b Vic, 18+ Rolling Stones 6/21, 7:30 PM; Ballroom b Billy Strings 1/25, 9 PM, Bottom Julia Holter 2/28, 8:30 PM, 6/25, 7:30 PM, Soldier Field SOLD OUT Miranda, Wanda Inette, and Doris Oso- Meow Meow & Thomas Lau- Lounge, 17+ Thalia Hall, 17+ Jesse Rutherford 5/3, 8 PM, rio and instrumentalists Carol MacPher- derdale 3/29, 7 and 9:30 PM, Body/Head 3/7, 7:30 PM, Art Il Divo 3/27, 8 PM, Rosemont Subterranean Alkaline Trio 1/3-6, 9 PM, son (trombone), Mai Sugimoto (sax), and SPACE, Evanston b Institute of Chicago Theater, Rosemont Travis Scott 2/21, 8 PM, United Metro, 18+ Andrea Lanctot (trumpet). Here’s to many Van Morrison 4/24, 7 PM, Chi- Billy Bragg 4/25-27, 8 PM, Lin- I’m With Her, Mipso 3/2, 8 PM, Center Jess Glynne 3/30, 7:30 PM, cago Theatre coln Hall, 18+ Thalia Hall, 17+ Sheer Terror 1/12, 7 PM, Reg- the Vic b more years of fi lling dance fl oors! Music Frozen Dancing with Ty Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Interpol 2/7, 7:30 PM, Chicago gie’s Rock Club, 18+ Conan Gray 4/8, 7:30 PM, Bot- In August, Chicago nonprofi t Rape Vic- Segall & White Fence, Neg- Angel, Necrot 3/4, 6 PM, Theatre Snail Mail 1/17, 9 PM, Metro, 18+ tom Lounge b tim Advocates changed its name to Resil- ative Scanner, Plack Blague, Concord Music Hall, 17+ Iron Maiden 8/22, 7:30 PM, Musiq Soulchild 1/3-4, 7:30 and Beth Hart 4/25, 7:30 PM, Park ience, but its work supporting survivors and Glyders 2/23, 1 PM, Carbon Leaf 4/19, 8 PM, City Hollywood Casino Amphithe- 10 PM, City Winery b West, 18+ Empty Bottle F b Winery b atre, Tinley Park JD Souther & Karla Bonoff 3/3, LP 2/8, 7:30 PM, the Vic, 18+ and preventing sexual violence continues. Olivia O’Brien 4/4, 7:30 PM, Mariah Carey 3/11, 8 PM, Chi- Wanda Jackson 3/14, 8 PM, 5 and 8 PM, City Winery b Ella Mai 3/3, 8 PM, Concord On Saturday, December 29, three of Gos- Lincoln Hall b cago Theatre SPACE, Evanston b Spiritualized 4/9, 8 PM, the Music Hall, 18+ sip Wolf’s favorite locals play a benefi t for Idan Raichel 3/23, 8 PM, City Tyler Carter 1/8, 7:30 PM, Beat Joe Jackson 2/21-22, 8:30 PM, Vic, 18+ Massive Attack 3/23, 8 PM, Resilience at the Burlington: Meat Wave, Winery, on sale Fri 12/28, Kitchen, 17+ Thalia Hall, 17+ Vince Staples, JPEGmafi a 3/12, Chicago Theatre noon b Neko Case, Shannon Shaw Mick Jenkins 2/2, 9 PM, Thalia 8:30 PM, Riviera Theatre, Mumford & Sons 3/29, 7:30 PM, Skip Church , and Sunglow, the boun- Teen 3/27, 9:30 PM, Hideout 4/26-27, 7:30 PM, The Vic, 18+ Hall, 17+ Fri 12/14, 10 AM, 18+ United Center cy electro-pop project of Daniel Lynch, The-Dream 2/28, 8 PM, Lincoln Cher, Nile Rodger & Chic 2/8, Jerusalem in My Heart 3/26, The Suff ers 2/16, 9 PM, Lincoln Robyn 3/6, 8 PM, Aragon who moved here last year from Savannah, Hall, 18+ 8 PM, United Center 8:30 PM, Empty Bottle Hall, 18+ Ballroom b Georgia. —JRN Ben Wendel Seasons Band 2/9, Cherry Glazerr 2/23, 9 PM, Elton John 2/15, 8 PM, Allstate Kasim Sulton’s Utopia 3/7, Lennon Stella 3/28, 7 PM, 8:30 PM, Constellation, 18+ Bottom Lounge, 17+ Arena, Rosemont 8 PM, City Winery b Metro b Yob, Voivod 3/27, 8 PM, Thalia Coathangers 4/9, 8:30 PM, Marcus Johnson 2/6, 8 PM, Supersuckers 3/12, 8 PM, Beat Mike Stud 2/1, 8 PM, Bottom Got a tip? Tweet @Gossip_Wolf or e-mail Hall, 17+ Empty Bottle City Winery b Kitchen Lounge b v [email protected].
38 CHICA OREADER - DECEMBER ll SURF ROCK SUNDAY WITH DJ MIKE SMITH
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