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� � � � � � � � � Life� ��������Times ���� ������� issue 3 | winter 2019 Welcome to the Neighborhood! We invite you to discover a place where your loved one with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia will truly feel at home, with the support of specially trained care partners and the freedom to define their own days. Opening Spring 2019, our all-new Memory Care Assisted Living community is built on more than 20 years’ experience creating supportive environments for those living with memory loss. Call us for an exclusive preview 781.538.4534 Visit our sister Artis Community in Reading, MA Creating positive partnerships the Artis way! welcome center: 1840 Massachusetts Avenue, 2nd Floor, Lexington, MA 02421 coming spring 2019: 430 Concord Avenue, Lexington, MA 02421 www.artisseniorliving.com An Equal Opportunity Employer-M/F/D/V Certification from the Executive Office of Elder Affairs is pending. ABOUT THIS JOURNal issue 3 The Friends of the Lexington Council on Aging EDITORIAL BOARD are happy to sponsor this third edition of Mimi Aarens lexington LifeTimes: a creative arts journal. Cristina Burwell This twice-annual publication, which showcases Nancy Hubert the creative talents of seniors who live or work in Pamela Marshall Lexington, was started in 2017 based on a Bright Pamela Moriarty Ideas grant proposal from Lexington author Mimi Cammy Thomas Aarens. The Journal is overseen by a volunteer Kiran Verma editorial board which sets the criteria for submission COPY EDITORS and selects entries for inclusion. Distribution is Pamela Moriarty primarily electronic with a limited number of Cammy Thomas printed copies available. Starting with the Summer 2018 edition, the MANAGING EDITOR & Journal has gratefully received underwriting support DESIGNER from local businesses, recognized on the front and Kerry Brandin back covers. The Friends can extend this opportunity FRIENDS OF THE to others wishing to express their care for and about COUNCIL ON AGING Lexington seniors. If you would like to become a LIAISONS Journal underwriter, please contact the Friends by Janice Kennedy sending an email to [email protected] Jane Trudeau or by mail to: Suzanne Caton LEXINGTON FRIENDS OF THE COUNCIL ON AGING P.O. BOX 344 PRINTING LEXINGTON, MA 02420 LPS Print Center If you are interested in having your creative work considered for a future edition, please see the submission guidelines on the Friends of the Lexington Council on Aging website: ON THE COVER WWW.FRIENDSOFTHECOA.ORG BY HAYG BOYADJIAN front: Nine back: Time Beast winter 2019 Lexington LifeTimes 1 Table of Contents 3 18 Winnowing Ironing Man BY JAMES BALDWIN BY NANCY KOUCHOUK 6 19 Helpless Colors of My Messiah BY IRENE HANNIGAN BY CHRISTIN MILGROOM WORCESTER 7 21 Leaving Home Lost and Found BY DON YANSEN BY JOHN R. EHRENFELD ILLUSTRATION BY LYNNE YANSEN 10 22 Lunch Lessons #METOOSWEET16 BY GERALDINE FOLEY BY BARbaRA DICKENSON SIMPSON ILLUSTRATION BY LINOS DOUNIAS 12 24 What Are Words Worth? Back to Torretta BY ROBERT ISENBERG BY SGT. DAN H. FENN, JR., 767TH SQUADRON 13 28 Breathing Ming and Me BY VICTORIA BUCKLEY BY REBECCA BAKER MORRIS 14 31 Watercolor Gallery: Picture This Contributors BY MAUREEN BOVET, LYNNE YANSEN, MARDY RAWLS & JOANNE BORSTELL 2 Lexington LifeTimes winter 2019 Winnowing BY JAMES BALDWIN My dear, sweet 59-year-old soul mate wife a cozy condo. We are at the “winnowing” has suddenly emerged from the basement, stage. Winnowing is not that easy. It makes rivulets of tears trickling from both eyes. Try- us adventurers in a jungle of family memo- ing to talk while she cries, she struggles to rabilia, discovering and recovering ancient get the words out. “I—need you—to help clippings, trophies, baseball cards, letters, me with this—decision.” meaningful T-shirts, photographs (oh there My initial reaction is surprise and concern. are endless photographs) and now, today, There are, after all, lots of tears. But then the stuffed animals. I smile both inside and out because in her Had we considered it in advance, we prob- arms she is clutching five stuffed animals. ably would have expected to be emotionally Each of the five has a name. ambushed somewhere on this adventure, The largest is a tiger, Elaine, but the power of a rediscovered letter home, named in honor of one of the a photo of the two older boys holding their several older sisters who be- little brother and now the stuffed animals stowed the beast on my wife. is still shocking, somehow debilitating yet There is a skunk named Louel- exhilarating at the same time, and bitter- la, a panda named, sweet. It seems that time of course, Teddy. has passed not Piglet is there, too. just way too The quintet is com- fast. It seems pleted by a small to have utterly baby duck known to disappeared. my wife as Laurie’s And now Duck. Laurie is the stuffed another of animals. my wife’s They aren’t older sis- my stuffed ani- ters who mals. They are my had, for wife’s. She’s discovered reasons unknown, abandoned the crea- them in the bottom (naturally) of a trunk, ture many years ago. My wife, being my wife, under the eaves in a remote corner of the at- naturally adopted the orphan and has loved tic. While she is, in fact, the one who packed it ever since, despite its unromantic but his- them originally (and how many times now torically accurate name. since she was, what, 12 years old?) she was And now she arrives in the kitchen in rath- still caught off guard, her emotional detec- er desperate straits with this entourage of tors at parade rest when Elaine and friends ragamuffins. suddenly appeared bringing with them the Recent empty nesters, we are now mov- power of countless sweet and innocent ing out of our family home of 15 years into memories. winter 2019 Lexington LifeTimes 3 Totally surprised, she was overcome by she needs me to do what good mates do in their sudden appearance at a time when we these circumstances. Help her come to a dif- are supposed to be winnowing. Countless ficult decision. times in the last few weeks she has been the Initially, I have to admit to chuckling at the strong one, rhetorically asking me, “when is scene. Her tears and emotion seem dispro- the last time you used that?” as I clutch one portionate to the downright forlorn and rag- of somebody’s old lacrosse sticks. The words tag group of animals her arms encircle. My of some wise but emotionless person ring in years of experience save me though, and I my mind. “When in doubt, throw it out.” recognize that I’m on the border of danger- But these…these are the stuffed animals. ous territory, a territory with which most Every morning, for years, they were carefully, husbands are quite familiar, and risk being comfortably arranged on their bed. Clearly, disrespectful of her feelings. This is not rec- they are not lacrosse sticks or soccer balls. ommended. They are something else entirely. Catching myself, I search for the words Yes. They are now several shades of grey that might calm her and provide the wisdom darker than in their youth. Most of the furry she’s looking for. This, too, is a mistake. She parts have coalesced into various little balls has a gene that allows her to see through scattered about their worn cloth skin. Elaine any manipulation. No, she will demand to the tiger came with two piercing, metallic hear what I really think, what I would do, not blue green eyes (somewhat like her donor). what I think she wants to hear. Once mesmerizing they are now a dull plastic So I proceed with care. I explain that I green. Their dilapidated condition, though, know what those animals once meant to her, matters not a whit to my wife. Their faces are not that they’ve lost any meaning over the as lovable as ever. These were her “friends,” years, mind you. I venture that we’re enter- her confidants. They were loyal and true. ing a new phase of our mutual lives together They were sources of solace. They were de- and that this is the perfect time to move on pendable. They were always there for her. and leave things like this behind in a literal And now, faced with this painful decision sense, although I acknowledge they will al- she is paralyzed. It is a moment when I see ways be with her in spirit. I say these things several of the sides of my wife. There is, as with as much calm as I can muster, but hon- always in times like these, the practical side. estly am not so sure of them myself. Will I, We won’t have much space in the new house. for example, be able to discard my son’s first If we don’t exercise some good judgment baseball glove? I am not so sure. and discipline in the winnowing process, Then I watch with great interest and, ad- we’ll be out of storage space in short order. mittedly, some trepidation as my wife’s prac- And these are scruffy old stuffed animals, tical and emotional selves grapple with com- for goodness sake. “I haven’t even looked at promise. Through her tears she reasons. them since we moved in here 15 years ago,” “Well, I—can’t just throw them—away,” the practical wife reasons through the tears. she stammers and the very thought of that Seconds later the years of love and friend- brings more tears. Then she arrives at the ship overwhelm her reason, and she stam- compromise.