Undergraduate Review

Volume 12 | Issue 1 Article 6

2000 Lincoln's Courtships: A Reflection of his Social Growth Erika Rozinek '01 Illinois Wesleyan University

Recommended Citation Rozinek '01, Erika (2000) "Lincoln's Courtships: A Reflection of his Social Growth," Undergraduate Review: Vol. 12: Iss. 1, Article 6. Available at: http://digitalcommons.iwu.edu/rev/vol12/iss1/6

This Article is brought to you for free and open access by The Ames Library, the Andrew W. Mellon Center for Curricular and Faculty Development, the Office of the Provost and the Office of the President. It has been accepted for inclusion in Digital Commons @ IWU by the faculty at Illinois Wesleyan University. For more information, please contact [email protected]. ©Copyright is owned by the author of this document. Rozinek '01: Lincoln's Courtships: A Reflection of his Social Growth nerly French regions of Alsace and Lorraine area had always been a mixture of French and ; the region to Germany in 1870, Alsace- y for France. In World War I, France actually Lincoln's Courtships: y through the rough, hilly terrain that makes rthern areas of France, particularly near A Reflection of his Social Growth r Germany. Bartholdi always considered his :ory and rarely returned there after 1870. By Erika Rozinek

n the myth and memory of American culture, Abraham Lincoln is not berty." Maclean's 7 July 1986: 16. remembered as a ladies' man or a man who sought intimate relation­ rLiberty: The First Hundred rears. Trans. I ships with women. Biographers dubiously record his relationship with ;er. New York: American Heritage Publishing Ann Rutledge, make light of his involvement with Mary Owens, and then .Statue de fa Liberte. 1985. interpret his courtship and marriage to Mary Todd. The overall opinion ;. Kotler (eds.). The Statue ofLiberty Revisited seems to be that Lincoln was too ambitious, too involved with politics, or mithsonian Institution, 1994. too much of a "man's man" to trouble with women during his early years NR). "1886 Liberty Rises." Engineering News­ in Illinois. However, much evidence exists to indicate that Lincoln actively : 46. sought relationships with numerous women prior to his marriage. ,ehind the Statue of Liberty." Good Furthermore, his experience with each of the women he courted charts his (1986): 101-106. development socially, even as he was rising politically and professionally. Starting out as a young man rumored to have fathered children illegiti­ It on The Statue ofLiberty and its Creator. mately in New Salem, Lincoln emerged as the husband of one of ringston Publishing Co., 1966. Springfield's most educated, attractive, and aristocratic woman. fer Lamp Once More." National Geographic Lincoln first came to Illinois in 1830 when he was 21 years old. I will be focusing on his involvement with women after his arrival in Illinois, hirry W Despont. Restoring the Statue of while de-emphasizing those fragments and rumors from his Indiana years vlcGraw-Hill Book Company, 1986. due to their lack of substantiation and also to Lincoln's youth. By August, ~erty. Centennial ed. New York: G. P. 1831, Lincoln had left his father in Coles County, Illinois, for indepen­ l. dence in New Salem. It was here that Lincoln would be transformed from ~erty: the French-American statue in art and his­a bashful boy who avoided contact with girls to a man who was linked in per & Row Publishers, 1986. various ways to several different women. nd the Statue ofLiberty. Chicago: Rand The testimony of Lincoln's friends and relatives in Indiana seems to ly, 1959. indicate that Lincoln showed little interest in girls (Wilson 109). His step­ :a1ly launched 1,000 ships-and many more." mother remarked to William Herndon that Lincoln "was not very fond of )84): 47-55. girls as he seemed to me" (S. Lincoln 108). Another neighbor observed tatue ofLiberty. New York: Viking Press, 1976. that Lincoln "did not go much with the girls ... didn't like girls much ­

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too frivolous" (Gentry 131). However, as this same friend also remarked Lincoln apparently had his hands full wid­ that Lincoln "didn't like crowds," perhaps this aversion to girls can be New Salem. All the speculated fathering of cl viewed as general boyhood shyness. Certainly, Lincoln grew comfortable through 1836, the time frame when he comr with talking to crowds later in life. At any rate, it would be unwise to clas­ love relationship. After this time, most New . sifY Lincoln's lifelong attitude towards women based on the testimony of that Lincoln was romantically involved with those who knew him only until his 21 st year. Rutledge. Although New Salem residents giv Substantial evidence suggests Lincoln grew out of his boyhood reticence exact year in which Lincoln began courting} around women when he came to live in New Salem. A few friends from acquainted during his first year in the village his early days in New Salem did record that Lincoln was subdued in their the Rudedges (Wilson 116). Between this tir presence, such as A.Y. Ellis, who felt that Lincoln was "a Verry shy Man of she and Lincoln fell in love and planned to n Ladies" (Ellis 170). For the most part, however, New Salem gossip con­ Once characterized as uninterested and a", cerning Lincoln centered not on his aversion to women, but rather on his Lincoln was an attentive and loving suitor. F: rumored sexual involvement with local women. James Taylor reported to of women, Lincoln made the trip of several r Herndon that "Jack Armstrong used to plague Abe a great deal about his­ to Ann, continued his visits and attentions re Abe's son, which he had by Mrs. Armstrong; it was a joke-plagued Abe an engagement to marry," according to Ann'~ terribly" (Taylor 482). This was doubtlessly no more than a joke; Lincoln Another New Salem friend by the name ()I would not have become sexually involved with the wife of his good friend. on the depth of Lincoln's feelings when he re Nevertheless, the joke must have been based on some affection or perhaps "wofully in Love with a Remarkable hansom­ attraction between Lincoln and Mrs. Armstrong, showing that Lincoln was Rutledge" (Irwin 325). Lincoln's love for Ani not entirely repelled by (or repellent to) women. was hampered only by the fact that she was e The Armstrong child was not the only one rumored to be fathered by suitor, John McNamar, had traveled east to s Lincoln. According to New Salem neighbor J. Rowan Herndon, Mrs. 1833 or 1834, shortly after his engagement t Abell, with whom Lincoln resided sometimes in New Salem, "has a damer with her dwindled over the following years h that is thought to Be Lincolns Child thay favor very much" (Herndon 69). Ann wrote to him to obtain release so she c() Another New Salem resident's "Wife had a child-father uncertain- sup­ (Rutledge 383). Thus, Lincoln had won Ann posed to be Duncan's - or Lincoln's" (Green 365). In a community which fullocal businessman. It was quite a triumpt: had a population of 125 at its peak, Lincoln was rumored to have fathered highly regarded in New Salem. One neighb() three children by three different women. This does not suggest an unnatur­ al aversion to women. Even if all three rumors were indeed false, the fact This young lady was a woman of Exqu that tongues were set to wagging in the first place shows that Lincoln spent was quick-Sharp- deep & philosopt: enough time with women to be rendered suspicious of sexual interactions a gentle & kind a heart as an angl-ful with them. Lincoln may have been shy or reserved around women, but thy. She was beloved by evry body and clearly this restrained manner was not to an extreme, or else Lincoln would her-so sweet & angelic was she. Her ( not have been named in connection with so many pregnancies. Perhaps the good: it was positively noted throughoe most accurate observation of Lincoln's feelings toward women comes from J. Rowan Herndon, who said that "thay [women] all liked him and [he] . Lincoln, who had come to New Salem as a ". liked them as well" (Herndon 69). Already, then, we observe that Lincoln before, who failed in the business of storekee had developed enough socially to shed his youthful shyness and become to settle on a profession, had won the belle 01 more familiar with women. reflection of his rising social status, which in http://digitalcommons.iwu.edu/rev/vol12/iss1/6 2 _. 32 ------, ------, ----..01 Rozinek '01: Lincoln's Courtships: A Reflection of his Social Growth Rozinek

However, as this same friend also remarked Lincoln apparently had his hands full with women during his time in 'ds," perhaps this aversion to girls can be New Salem. All the speculated fathering of children went on prior to 1834 lynesS. Certainly, Lincoln grew comfortable through 1836, the time frame when he commenced his first significant n life. At any rate, it would be unwise to clas­ love relationship. After this time, most New Salem contemporaries agree : towards women based on the testimony of that Lincoln was romantically involved with a young woman named Ann ltil his 21 st year. Rutledge. Although New Salem residents give different accounts of the sts Lincoln grew out of his boyhood reticence exact year in which Lincoln began courting Ann, they probably became e to live in New Salem. A few friends from acquainted during his first year in the village when Lincoln boarded with the Rutledges (Wilson 116). Between this time and Ann's death in 1835, ~id record that Lincoln was subdued in their •ho felt that Lincoln was "a Verry shy Man of she and Lincoln fell in love and planned to marry. lost part, however, New Salem gossip con- Once characterized as uninterested and awkward around women, on his aversion to women, but rather on his Lincoln was an attentive and loving suitor. Far from avoiding the company with local women. James Taylor reported to of women, Lincoln made the trip of several miles and "paid his addresses Ilg used to plague Abe a great deal about his­ to Ann, continued his visits and attentions regularly and those resulted in ,frs. Armstrong; it was a joke-plagued Abe an engagement to marry," according to Ann's brother (Rutledge 383). las doubtlessly no more than a joke; Lincoln Another New Salem friend by the name of Benjamin F. Irwin shed light ally involved with the wife of his good friend. on the depth of Lincoln's feelings when he remarked that Lincoln was lave been based on some affection or perhaps "wofully in Love with a Remarkable hansome young Lady by the Name of Ild Mrs. Armstrong, showing that Lincoln was Rutledge" (Irwin 325). Lincoln's love for Ann and his desire to marry her :pellent to) women. was hampered only by the fact that she was engaged to another man. This not the only one rumored to be fathered by suitor, John McNamar, had traveled east to settle his family's accounts in ;alem neighbor J. Rowan Herndon, Mrs. 1833 or 1834, shortly after his engagement to Ann. His correspondence sided sometimes in New Salem, "has a dauter with her dwindled over the following years he remained absent. Finally, sChild thay favor very much" (Herndon 69). Ann wrote to him to obtain release so she could marry Lincoln instead 's "Wife had a child-father uncertain- sup­ (Rutledge 383). Thus, Lincoln had won Ann's hand over that of a success­ lColn's" (Green 365). In a community which fullocal businessman. It was quite a triumph, as Ann was very popular and s peak, Lincoln was rumored to have fathered highly regarded in New Salem. One neighbor described her thus: :nt women. This does not suggest an unnatur­ f all three rumors were indeed false, the fact This young lady was a woman of Exquisite beauty, but her intellect ;ing in the first place shows that Lincoln spent was quick-Sharp- deep & philosophic as well as brilliant. She had be rendered suspicious of sexual interactions a gentle & kind a heart as an angl-full of love-kindless-sympa­ : been shy or reserved around women, but thy. She was beloved by evry body and evry body respected and lovd . was not to an extreme, or else Lincoln would her-so sweet & angelic was she. Her Character was more than 1ection with so many pregnancies. Perhaps the good: it was positively noted throughout the County. (Green 21) Lincoln's feelings toward women comes from that "thay [women] all liked him and [he] Lincoln, who had come to New Salem as a "drifter" only a few short years I 69). Already, then, we observe that Lincoln before, who failed in the business of storekeeping twice, and who had yet y to shed his youthful shyness and become to settle on a profession, had won the belle of the county. This was a reflection of his rising social status, which in turn may have sprung from Published by Digital Commons @ IWU, 2000 3 33 The UndergraduateUndergraduate Review Review, Vol. 12, Iss. 1 [2000], Art. 6

his recent election to the state legislature and personal popularity among desired it enough to agree to marry a woma: the townspeople. and had not seen for three years. While it is Ann Rutledge died on August 25,1835, at the age of22. She was Lincoln harbored lingering feelings of love c Lincoln's fiancee and first love; Lincoln was deeply affected by her death. her three-year absence, we can reasonably su Some supposed that Ann's death had a profound and life-altering effect on to the idea of falling in love, or, at the very I Lincoln. Henry McHenry commented that ''As to the condition of to a woman. This may have come from the Lincoln's Mind after the death of Miss R. after that Event he seemed quite ship, or from the desire for the social boost­ changed, he seemed Retired, & loved Solitude, he seemed wrapped in pro­ well-mannered lady would provide. Howeve found thought, indifferent, to transpiring events, had but Little to say..." that he was "displeased" with Mary's appear; (McHenry 155). However, Lincoln was not altered so much that he did eral. The fact that she later rejected Lincoln': not seek marriage with other women later on. ingly offered, according to him) makes Line more like sour grapes than true repulsion. From the time of Ann's death until Lincoln's eventual move to Springfield, he applied himself to studying law in an effort to pass the bar During their courtship, Lincoln wrote M exam and become a lawyer. For a time he boarded with the Abells. In his feelings and level of commitment seem t: 1836, Mrs. Abell's sister Mary Owens showed up for an extended visit. told her that "I should be much happier wit Lincoln had first become acquainted with her three years earlier, and upon vided I saw no signs of discontent in you," c her return, a relationship was formed. Lincoln related the start of this ed," presumably on the subject of marriage courtship in a letter to his friend Mrs. Browning: line he told her that "My opinion is you hac (78). Another letter is similarly indistinct: It was, then, in the autumn of 1836 that a married lady of my acquaintance and who was a great friend of mine, being about to pay What I do wish is that our further acq a visit to her father and other relatives in Kentucky, proposed to me yourself If such further acquaintance ~ that on her return she would bring a sister of hers with her on the your happiness, I am sure it would nOI condition that I would engage to become her brother-in-law with all in any degree bound to me, I am now convenient dispatch. I, of course, accepted the proposal, for you ed you wish it; while, on the other har know I could not have done otherwise, had I really been averse to it; ious to bind you faster if I can be com. but privately, between you and me I was most confoundedly well siderable degree add to your happiness; pleased with the project. (A. Lincoln 117) Many scholars have interpreted these letters This letter has often been dismissed as almost completely facetious. the humorous one to Mrs. Browning, as evi, However, the bulk of his description of the courtship seems based in fact, for Mary, felt stifled by their relationship, ar with some exaggeration for humorous effect. Since Lincoln was accurate in release himself from any commitment to me describing the facts of this courtship, it stands to reason that he was also interpretation. We know from Lincoln's owr being forthright about his emotions. The humor of the letter comes from even anxious" to bind Mary to marriage. 'lXTe­ Lincoln's characteristically self-deprecating style. Being such, Lincoln did several times, and that each time he was reje not have to fabricate feelings to deprecate, but instead could use his own. herself asserted that "his heart and hand wet When looking at this letter as.an accurate statement of his feelings (bar­ Vineyard 256). However, she felt Lincoln w. ring some embellishment for comic value), we are offered a glimpse of a which make up the great chain of a woman'~ Lincoln who longed for the companionship of a woman. At any rate, he of the matter, Lincoln, by his own admissiOl http://digitalcommons.iwu.edu/rev/vol12/iss1/6 4 34 1. Rozinek '01: Lincoln's Courtships: A Reflection of his Social Growth Rozinek te legislature and personal popularity among desired it enough to agree to marry a woman that he knew only casually and had not seen for three years. While it is not realistic to suggest that .gust 25, 1835, at the age of 22. She was Lincoln harbored lingering feelings of love or affection for Mary during rej Lincoln was deeply affected by her death. her three-year absence, we can reasonably suppose that Lincoln was open eath had a profound and life-altering effect on to the idea of falling in love, or, at the very least, to making a commitment lmmented that "As to the condition of to a woman. This may have come from the simple desire for companion­ th of Miss R. after that Event he seemed quite ship, or from the desire for the social boost that marrying an educated and well-mannered lady would provide. However, Lincoln goes on to explain & loved Solitude, he seemed wrapped in pro­ transpiring events, had but Little to say..." that he was "displeased" with Mary's appearance and the courtship in gen­ .incoln was not altered so much that he did eral. The fact that she later rejected Lincoln's numerous proposals (grudg­ : women later on. ingly offered, according to him) makes Lincoln's displeasure in her seem more like sour grapes than true repulsion. eath until Lincoln's eventual move to elf to studying law in an effort to pass the bar During their courtship, Lincoln wrote Mary a series of letters in which For a time he boarded with the Abells. In his feelings and level of commitment seem to vacillate. In one instance, he ry Owens showed up for an extended visit. told her that "I should be much happier with you than the way I am, pro­ luainted with her three years earlier, and upon vided I saw no signs of discontent in you," and that "I have already decid­ s formed. Lincoln related the start of this ed," presumably on the subject of marriage (A. Lincoln 78). In the next iend Mrs. Browning: line he told her that "My opinion is you had better not do it [marry him]" . (78). Another letter is similarly indistinct: umn of 1836 that a married lady of my was a great friend of mine, being about to pay What I do wish is that our further acquaintance shall depend on i other relatives in Kentucky, proposed to me yourself If such further acquaintance would contribute nothing to would bring a sister of hers with her on the your happiness, I am sure it would not to mine. If you feel yourself l engage to become her brother-in-law with all in any degree bound to me, I am now willing to release you, provid­ , of course, accepted the proposal, for you ed you wish itj while, on the other hand, I am willing and even anx­ done otherwise, had I really been averse to itj ious to bind you faster if I can be convinced that it will in any con­ you and me I was most confoundedly well siderable degree add to your happiness. (A. Lincoln 94) :t. (A. Lincoln 117) Many scholars have interpreted these letters to Mary, in conjunction with ,missed as almost completely facetious. the humorous one to Mrs. Browning, as evidence that Lincoln did not care cription of the courtship seems based in fact, for Mary, felt stifled by their relationship, and sought a way to honorably lUmorous effect. Since Lincoln was accurate in release himself from any commitment to marry her. I propose a different )unship, it stands to reason that he was also interpretation. We know from Lincoln's own hand that he was willing "and notions. The humor of the letter comes from even anxious" to bind Mary to marriage. \Xfe know that he proposed to her If-deprecating style. Being such, Lincoln did several times, and that each time he was rejected (A. Lincoln 119). Mary ; to deprecate, but instead could use his own. herself asserted that "his heart and hand were at my disposal" (M. er as an accurate statement of his feelings (bar­ Vineyard 256). However, she felt Lincoln was "deficient in those little links r comic value), we are offered a glimpse of a which make up the great chain of a woman's happiness" (256). At the heart companionship of a woman. At any rate, he of the matter, Lincoln, by his own admission, was "really a little in love Published by Digital Commons @ IWU, 2000 5 35 The UndergraduateUndergraduate Review Review, Vol. 12, Iss. 1 [2000], Art. 6

with her," while Mary's "feelings were not sufficiently enlisted to have the who would go on to make ample use of anOi matter consummated" (A. Lincoln 119; M. Vineyard 256). Lincoln was diminish his political opponents. pursuing her, while Mary was not interested in him. This being the case, Between 1838 and 1840, Lincoln started we can read Lincoln's efforts to release Mary not as a way of disentangling another young woman named Sarah Rickard himself from an unwanted commitment, but rather as a way of asking for married to Lincoln's friend William Butler, yo reassurance that she wanted to be committed to him. By all accounts, during the late 1830s (Wilson & Davis 739) Mary never sought any kind of marital promise from Lincoln. Lincoln's ing with the Butlers, when she was ten or tw letters to her reveal that she was lax in her correspondence to him, "I am the girl and took her to various entertainmel still mad about that old letter," and that Lincoln was unsure of her feelings recalled, "when 1 arrived at the age of 16 he toward him: "you can now ... dismiss your thoughts (if you ever had any) (Barret 665). Sarah liked Lincoln well enoug from me..." (A. Lincoln 54; 94). Lincoln must have sensed this lack of as a brother than as a suitor. 'When Lincoln! interest and worried over it. ter of 1840 and 41, she refused him, explain By taking into account Mary's lukewarm behavior toward Lincoln, we only 16 years old and had not thought mucE can see the uncertainty and anxiety that comes through in his letters to reflected that "his pecular manner and his G her. He felt that she was not very interested in him, so he began to cast be likely to fascinate a young girl just enterir about for reasons why. He wrote to her that a life with him meant that she Thus, Lincoln had again been "flung ... would be poor without means of hiding her poverty. He asked, significant­ Twice he had courted women with a mind t· ly, "Do you believe you could bear that patiently?" (A. Lincoln 78). It been refused. Both times the lady in questio: seems as though he is presenting her with all his faults up front, so that if Lincoln's manner towards women that made: she would reject him, as he sensed that she would, he would have a reason Socially insecure to begin with, these refusal: for her action. He could console himself with the notion that she rejected less confident. By this point, it could not ha­ the life of poverty she would lead, rather than him. As he began to lose he was lacking in certain social graces that "­ hope of any interest on her part, he offered her release from any commit­ young ladies. Still, he clearly desired the COrl ment. This was not because he did not want to marry her; rather, it was after time, he paid his clumsy attentions, bri because he sensed that she did not want him (which, in fact, she did not). of the women whom he had courted in his I He wanted to either gain assurance that she wanted him or to reject her had grown politically and professionally fast. before she could reject him. By 1840, he had served several terms in the lished in the practice of law as the junior pa_ Mary did reject him. Lincoln must have felt sharply his deficiencies as a suitor and potential husband. He had tried for the hand of an educated prominent lawyers in the state. Still, the onl­ lady, and she had refused him based on elements of his character that she have him had been a tavernkeeper's daughte found lacking. He was a shy, unsure young man, new to Springfield, who village. His personal success could not make had never been refused by a woman before. After Mary rejected him for with the genteel women of education and bl the last time and their acquaintance dwindled away, Lincoln wrote his affections during his early Springfield days. satirical letter to Mrs. Browning. The sentiment that comes through in this Yet, Lincoln had the capacity for this soci: letter is not malice or superiority, but rather the bitter and hurt feelings . lacked any education on the manners of poli that come when one has loved and not been loved in return. Lincoln tried mean that Lincoln could not pick them up ~ to assuage his hurt pride by ridiculing Mary's appearance and imagining Springfield's social elite. During the late 183 that he, in fact, did not want her. This behavior is characteristic of the man fessional stature to be invited to the Edwar&

http://digitalcommons.iwu.edu/rev/vol12/iss1/6 6 36 _.. p - v Rozinek '01: Lincoln's Courtships: A Reflection of his Social Growth Rozinek dings were nor sufficiendy enlisred ro have rhe who would go on to make ample use of anonymous newspaper lerrers to Lincoln 119; M. Vineyard 256). Lincoln was diminish his political opponenrs. vas nor inreresred in him. This being rhe case, Between 1838 and 1840, Lincoln started paying particular arrenrion to :s ro release Mary nor as a way of disenrangling another young woman named Sarah Rickard. Sarah's sister Elizabeth was commirment, bur rarher as a way of asking for married to Lincoln's friend William Buder, with whom Lincoln boarded ro be commirred ro him. By all accounrs, I during the late 1830s (Wilson & Davis 739). He met Sarah while board­ d of mariral promise from Lincoln. Lincoln's ing with the Buders, when she was ten or twelve years old. He befriended : was lax in her correspondence to him, "I am the girl and took her to various entertainments in Springfield; as Sarah rer," and that Lincoln was unsure of her feelings recalled, "when I arrived at the age of 16 he became more arrentive to me" ... dismiss your thoughts (if you ever had any) (Barret 665). Sarah liked Lincoln well enough, but she regarded him more I; 94). Lincoln must have sensed this lack of as a brother than as a suitor. When Lincoln proposed to Sarah in the win­ ter of 1840 and 41, she refused him, explaining later that "I was young viary's lukewarm behavior toward Lincoln, we only 16 years old and had not thought much about matrimony."l She also anxiety that comes through in his lerrers to reflected that "his pecular manner and his General deportment would not ,t very interested in him, so he began to cast be likely to fascinate a young girl just entering the society world" (665). o\'Tote to her that a life with him meant that she Thus, Lincoln had again been "flung ... high & dry" (Lightfood 639). lOS of hiding her poverty. He asked, significant­ Twice he had courted women with a mind to matrimony, and twice he had lid bear that patiendy?" (A. Lincoln 78). It been refused. Both times the lady in question cited certain flaws in nting her with all his faults up front, so that if Lincoln's manner towards women that made him unattractive as ~ spouse. sensed that she would, he would have a reason Socially insecure to begin with, these refusals must have made Lincoln even nsole himself with the notion that she rejected less confident. By this point, it could not have escaped his attention that d lead, rather than him. As he began to lose he was lacking in certain social graces that were necessary to charm eligible part, he offered her release from any commit­ young ladies. Still, he clearly desired the companionship of a female. Time he did not want to marry her; rather, it was after time, he paid his clumsy arrentions, bringing up matrimony to each lid not want him (which, in fact, she did not). of the women whom he had courted in his life. It seems as though Lincoln surance that she wanted him or to reject her had grown politically and professionally faster than he had grown socially. By 1840, he had served several terms in the state legislature. He was estab­ coin must have felt sharply his deficiencies as a lished in the practice of law as the junior partner to one of the most d. He had tried for the hand of an educated prominent lawyers in the state. Still, the only woman who ever agreed to m based on elements of his character that she have him had been a tavernkeeper's daughter from his days in New Salem r, unsure young man, new to Springfield, who village. His personal success could not make up for his lack of social polish woman before. After Mary rejected him for with the genteel women of education and breeding who captured Lincoln's aintance dwindled away, Lincoln wrote his affections during his early Springfield days. ning. The sentimenr that comes through in this Yet, Lincoln had the capacity for this social growth. His formative years iority, but rather the birrer and hurt feelings lacked any education on the manners of polite society, but this did not 'ed and not been loved in return. Lincoln tried mean that Lincoln could not pick them up as he hovered on the edges of ridiculing Mary's appearance and imagining Springfield's social elite. During the late 1830s, he achieved sufficient pro­ It her. This behavior is characteristic of the man fessional stature to be invited to the Edwards' home. At first, Ninian

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Edwards felt that Lincoln was "a mighty Rough man" and "did not think­ "Lincoln did love Miss Edwards" (Speed 475 if brought home to him he would do what was right" (Edwards 446). whether Matilda was ever aware of Lincoln's However, Lincoln must have behaved well enough to earn more invitations, tence of these affections for her is common i as he "was at Edwds house for 4 years-Every Sunday" (446). It was at the their contemporaries.2 Both Browning and S Edwards' house that Lincoln first became acquainted with Mary Todd. sion of January 1841 "resulted entirely from Newly arrived at her sister's house from Kentucky, Mary was part of the self into-he was engaged to Miss Todd, and powerful and prestigious Todd family. She was boni in Lexington and "was and his conscience troubled him dreadfully fi educated there [by] a fine french scholar & considered bright & witty by had done, and the supposed violation of his her friends" (Helm 694). She was quite the belle of Springfield's young soci­ ted"(Browning 1). The truth about this cour ety, and soon captured Lincoln's admiration. Mary's sister Elizabeth never be definitely ascertained, but the evide Edwards recalled that "Mr Lincoln Commenced Seeing Mary... the winter depression resulted in some way from his in¥ of 1839 & 40" (Edwards 443). She recalled that "I have happened in the and his feelings for another woman. room where they were sitting often & often and Mary led the Among the speculation that surrounds Li Conversation-Lincoln would listen & gaze on her as if drawn by some and 1841, several key facts exist. Sarah Ricka Superior power, irresistibly so" (443). was troubled by his affections for Matilda. T The details of Lincoln's love life began to grow increasingly complicated. of the injustice this caused Mary, or possibly In January of 1841, Lincoln suffered a major fit of depression. In the Speed was also in love with Matilda (Wilson words of his future brother-in-law, Ninian Edwards, he "went Crazy as a case, Matilda showed no interest in Lincoln, Loon." Joshua Speed elaborated that Lincoln's friends "had to remove coquette" (Browning 2). Thus, Mary Todd st razors from his room-had to take away all Knives and other such danger­ in Springfield who showed any interest in Li ous things" (Speed 475). Several causes have been proposed for this depres­ affections.

sion. Elizabeth Edwards implied that Lincoln and Mary were engaged and This may help to explain why Lincoln eve that Lincoln broke off the engagement, either in a fit of lunacy or because Of the four women he proposed ro, Mary c Mary was flirting with Stephen Douglas (Edwards 444). Joshua Speed the best education, and moved in the most p believed that Lincoln went crazy because he felt he had violated his honor was also the only one who accepted him and in refusing to marry Mary, because he loved another (Speed 475). the circumstances of their eventual marriage Douglas Wilson, in his biography Honor's Voice, doubts an engagement at truly loved her or felt obligated to marry her, this time existed at all between Lincoln and Mary (Wilson 230). Here I also presented a rare opportunity for Lincoln to IT put forth the suggestion that Lincoln may have become agitated over the one who would overlook Lincoln's lack of soc complications in his love life. The backwoods-born lawyer who had consis­ become his wife. Lincoln, on the other hand, tently failed to become engaged since his first love died was now seeing the hand of one of the city's most eligible bell Mary Todd and Sarah Rickard, and was possibly in love with a third woman. ety woman, the oft-rejected suitor could final Matilda Edwards, niece of Ninian Edwards, arrived in Springfield well. Lincoln was no longer the man whose Sl November, 1840 (Wilson 223). Several of her Springfield contemporaries him from wooing any of the city's desirable" posses~ recall that Lincoln had strong feelings for Matilda. Orville Browning was attractive to someone, that he did woman, and that he could be as successful so explained that "Mr. Lincoln became very much attached to her (Miss Matilda Edwards) and finally fell desperately in love with her and proposed ly and professionally. to her, but she rejected him" (Browning 1). Joshua Speed asserted that Lincoln's love life represents a facet ofhis ! http://digitalcommons.iwu.edu/rev/vol12/iss1/6 8 38 - po

'lew Rozinek '01: Lincoln's Courtships: A Reflection of his Social Growth Rozinek

n was "a mighty Rough man" and "did not think­ "Lincoln did love Miss Edwards" (Speed 475). There is conjecture as to he would do what was right" (Edwards 446). whether Matilda was ever aware of Lincoln's affections for her, but the exis­ have behaved well enough to earn more invitations, tence of these affections for her is common in the testimony of several of ,se for 4 years-Every Sunday" (446). It was at the their contemporaries.2 Both Browning and Speed felt that Lincoln's depres­ coin first became acquainted with Mary Todd. sion ofJanuary 1841 "resulted entirely from the situation he thus got him­ ;ister's house from Kentucky, Mary was part of the self into--he was engaged to Miss Todd, and in love with Miss Edwards, Todd family. She was borri in Lexington and "was and his conscience troubled him dreadfully for the supposed injustice he e french scholar & considered bright & witty by had done, and the supposed violation of his word which he had commit­ She was quite the belle of Springfield's young soci­ ted"(Browning 1). The truth about this course of events will probably incoln's admiration. Mary's sister Elizabeth never be definitely ascertained, but the evidence suggests that Lincoln's ir Lincoln Commenced Seeing Mary... the winter depression resulted in some way from his involvement with Mary Todd ; 443). She recalled that "I have happened in the and his feelings for another woman. :ting often & often and Mary led the Among the speculation that surrounds Lincoln's love life during 1840 .....ould listen & gaze on her as if drawn by some and 1841, several key facts exist. Sarah Rickard refused Lincoln. Lincoln ly so" (443). was troubled by his affections for Matilda. This might have been because I'S love life began to grow increasingly complicated. of the injustice this caused Mary, or possibly because his beit friend Joshua oln suffered a major fit of depression. In the Speed was also in love with Matilda (Wilson & Davis 771). Whatever the ler-in-law, Ninian Edwards, he "went Crazy as a case, Matilda showed no interest in Lincoln, as she was "something of a 'orated that Lincoln's friends "had to remove coquette" (Browning 2). Thus, Mary Todd stands out as the only woman ad to take away all Knives and other such danger­ in Springfield who showed any interest in Lincoln and who returned his Several causes have been proposed for this depres­ affections. Implied that Lincoln and Mary were engaged and This may help to explain why Lincoln eventually married Mary Todd. e engagement, either in a fit of lunacy or because Of the four women he proposed to, Mary came from the best family, had ephen Douglas (Edwards 444). Joshua Speed the best education, and moved in the most prominent societal circles. She 1t crazy because he felt he had violated his honor was also the only one who accepted him and lived to marry him. Whatever y, because he loved another (Speed 475). the circumstances of their eventual marriage in 1842, whether Lincoln biography Honor's voice, doubts an engagement at truly loved her or felt obligated to marry her, the fact remains that Mary ween Lincoln and Mary (Wilson 230). Here I also presented a rare opportunity for Lincoln to marry at all. She was the only ~at Lincoln may have become agitated over the one who would overlook Lincoln's lack of social polish and consent to life. The backwoods-born lawyer who had consis­ become his wife. Lincoln, on the other hand, could benefit from securing gaged since his first love died was now seeing the hand of one of the city's most eligible belles; with the hand of this soci­ kard, and was possibly in love with a third woman. ety woman, the oft-rejected suitor could finally win the hand of society as e of Ninian Edwards, arrived in Springfield well. Lincoln was no longer the man whose social awkwardness prevented 223). Several of her Springfield contemporaries him from wooing any of the city's desirable women. He had proven that he :ong feelings for Matilda. Orville Browning was attractive to someone, that he did possess qualities endearing to a lin became very much attached to her (Miss woman, and that he could be as successful socially as he could be political­ ally fell desperately in love with her and proposed ly and professionally. m" (Browning 1). Joshua Speed asserted that Lincoln's love life represents a facet of his growth as a person. The fact

Published by Digital Commons @ IWU, 2000 9 39 Undergraduate Review, Vol. 12, Iss. 1 [2000], Art. 6 The Undergraduate Review

that he desited and tried to maintain an active love life is indisputable. BIBLIOGRAPHY From the time he arrived in New Salem at the age of 21, Lincoln's name Barret, Sarah Richard. Letter to William H. has been linked to that of one woman aftet another. The reports of his ear­ Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. D liest sexual experiences are nothing but speculation, as are the suggestions Informants: Letters, Interviews, and.St that he fathered various children in the village. However, they serve to Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U ofIllmo prove that Lincoln was closely associated with the women of New Salem, _. Letter to William H. Herndon. (12 Aug and he was not bashful or afraid of women as previously supposed. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Lincoln's courtship ofAnn Rutledge marked the start of his search for a Interviews, and Statements About Abn lifelong companion. Had Ann lived, he would have succeeded and been Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997.664. married to a lovely but unsophisticated country girl. Ann's death sent Browning, O. H. Interview with John G. Ni~ Lincoln to search elsewhere for a wife. He pursued and was refused by Michael Burlingame, ed. An Oral Hz Mary Owens, "a young lady of beauty and intelligence and vivacity [who] John G. Nicolay's Interviews and Essay had many admirers" (N. Vineyard 601). This rejection must have stung, Southern Illinois UP, 1996. 1-2. for it emphasized that Lincoln was deficient in social graces that were nec­ Edwards, Elizabeth Todd. Interview with Wil essary to win a genteel lady. Lincoln tried again, with Sarah Rickard, but In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney 0 was again rejected because of his "pecular manner" (Barret 665). Although Informants: Letters, Interviews, and S he apparently cared deeply for Matilda Edwards, Lincoln never made his Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 199 feelings plain to her, perhaps out of fear of a third rejection. Eventually, Lincoln married the only living woman who would have him: pretty, aris­ Edwards, Ninian W. Interview with William tocratic, educated Mary Todd. In marrying Mary, Lincoln may not have Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. been following his heart, but he was asserti~g that he had become socially Informants: Letters, Interviews, and.S Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illm accepted enough to win the hand of the belle of polite society. In doing so, Lincoln had seized the opportunity to rise socially, as he concurrently rose Ellis, A. Y. Statement for William H. Hernd politically and professionally. Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Informants: Letters, Interviews, and S Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 199 Gentry, Anna Caroline. Interview with Willi September 1865. In Douglas L. Wil eds. Herndon's Informants: Letters, Int. About Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U c NOTES Green, Johnson Gaines. Interview with Willi; 1866. In Douglas L. Wilson and Roc

I Barret, 3 August 1888. Sarah described Lincoln's proposal to her this Herndon's Informants: Letters, Intervit way: "...as was his costom he brings quotations from the Bible how but Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U ofIllinl Sarah will become Abraham's wife." Greene, William G. Interview with William ]

2 Elizabeth Edwards. Elizabeth Edwards reported that Matilda was igno­ In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney C rant of Lincoln's affections. Matilda said to Elizabeth, "On my word he Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Si never mentioned Such a Subject to me: he never even Stooped to pay me a Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U ofIllin Compliment." http://digitalcommons.iwu.edu/rev/vol12/iss1/6 10 _c. 40 jIiii'"

eview Rozinek '01: Lincoln's Courtships: A Reflection of his Social Growth Rozinek

~d to maintain an active love life is indisputable. BIBLIOGRAPHY 'ed in New Salem at the age of 21, Lincoln's name Barret, Sarah Richard. Letter to William H. Herndon. 3 August 1888. In :of one woman after another. The reports of his ear­ Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's are nothing but speculation, as are the suggestions Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements ,About 5 children in the village. However, they serve to Abraham LincoLn. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997.665. closely associated with the women of New Salem, -. Letter to William H. Herndon. [12 August 1888J. In Douglas L. or afraid ofwomen as previously supposed. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Informants: Letters, ~n Rutledge marked the start of his search for a Interviews, and Statements About Abraham LincoLn. ld Ann lived, he would have succeeded and been Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 664. unsophisticated country girl. Ann's death sent here for a wife. He pursued and was refused by Browning, O. H. Interview with John G. Nicolay. 17 June 1875. In lady of beauty and intelligence and vivacity [whoJ Michael Burlingame, ed. An OraL History ofAbraham LincoLn: '. Vineyard 60l). This rejection must have stung, John G. Nicolay's Interviews and Essays. Carbondale: .mcoln was deficient in social graces that were nec­ Southern Illinois Up, 1996. 1-2. ady. Lincoln tried again, with Sarah Rickard, but Edwards, Elizabeth Todd. Interview with William H. Herndon. [1865-66]. lse of his "pecular manner" (Barret 665). Although In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Jly for Matilda Edwards, Lincoln never made his Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham haps OUt of fear of a third rejection. Eventually, LincoLn. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 443-444. y living woman who would have him: pretty, aris­ Edwards, Ninian W Interview with William H. Herndon. [1865-66]. In Todd. In marrying Mary, Lincoln may not have Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's I but he was asserting that he had become socially Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About the hand of the belle of polite society. In doing so, Abraham LincoLn. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997.446. pponunity to rise socially, as he concurrently rose Ellis, A. Y. Statement for William H. Herndon. 23 January 1866. In lally. Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham LincoLn. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 170. Gentry, Anna Caroline. Interview with William H. Herndon. 17 September 1865. In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham LincoLn. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 131. Green, Johnson Gaines. Interview with William H. Herndon. 5 October 1866. In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Sarah described Lincoln's proposal to her this Herndon's Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About mhe brings quotations from the Bible how bur Abraham LincoLn. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 365. un's wife." Greene, William G. Interview with William H. Herndon. 30 May 1865. lbeth Edwards reponed that Matilda was igno­ In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's 5. Matilda said to Elizabeth, "On my word he Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About :ubject to me: he never even Stooped to pay me a Abraham LincoLn. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 21.

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Helm, Emilie T. Statement for William H. Herndon. [post July 1871-89]. Rutledge, Robert B. Letter to William H. Hen In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's 1866]. In Douglas L. Wilson and Rod Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Informants: Letters, Interviews, and St" Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 694. Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. Herndon, J. Rowan. Interview with William H. Herndon. 3 July 1865. In Speed, Joshua F. Interview with William H. 11­ Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. D Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Informants: Letters, Interviews, and St~ Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997.69. Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997

Irwin, Benjamin F. Letter to William H. Herndon. 27 August 1866. In Taylor, James. Interview with William H. Her Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Letters. Interviews, and Statements AbO' Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997.325. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997.482. Lightfoot, John. Interview with William H. Herndon. 13 September 1887. Vineyard, Mary Owens. Letter to William H. Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. D In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Stc. Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997.639. Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U ofIllino Vineyard, Naney G. Letter to Jesse W. Weik. • Lincoln, Abraham. Letter to Mary Owens. 13 December 1836. In Roy P. L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Basler, ed. The Collected Works ofAbraham Lincoln. Springfield: Letters, Interviews, and Statements Abc Abraham Lincoln Association, 1953. 54. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 601. P. -.-. 7 May 1837. In Roy Basler, ed. The Collected Works ofAbraham Wilson, Douglas L. Honor's \foice: The TransfO' Lincoln. Springfield: Abraham Lincoln Association, 1953. 78. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1998. -.-. 16 August 1837. In Roy P. Basler, ed. The Collected Works of Wilson, Douglas L. and Rodney O. Davis, ed Abraham Lincoln. Springfield: Abraham Lincoln Association, Letters, Interviews, and Statements Abc 1953.94. U of Illinois P, 1997. -. Letter to Mrs. Orville Browning. 1 April 1838. In Roy P. Basler, ed. The Collected Works ofAbraham Lincoln. Springfield: Abraham Lincoln Association, 1953. 117-119. Lincoln, Sarah Bush. Interview with William H. Herndon. 8 September 1865. In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 108. McHenry, Henry. Letter to William H. Herndon. 8 January 1866. In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 155.

http://digitalcommons.iwu.edu/rev/vol12/iss1/6 12 42 ~ r Rozinek Rozinek '01: Lincoln's Courtships: A Reflection of his Social Growth Rozinek ~nt for William H. Herndon. [post July 1871-89]. Rutledge, Robert B. Letter to William H. Herndon. [c. 1 November VI1son and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's 1866]. In Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's m, Interviews, and Statements About Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham 'I. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 694. Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 383. :rview with William H. Herndon. 3 July 1865. In Speed, Joshua F. Interview with William H. Herndon. [1865-66]. In on and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's ~rs, Interviews, and Statements About Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham t. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997.69. Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997.475. r to William H. Herndon. 27 August 1866. In Taylor, James. Interview with William H. Herndon. [1865-66]. In Douglas on and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Informants: 'rs, Interviews, and Statements About Letters. Interviews, and Statements About Abraham Lincoln. I. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 325. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 482. .v with William H. Herndon. 13 September 1887. Vineyard, Mary Owens. Letter to William H. Herndon. 23 May 1866. In rilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Douglas L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's rs, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham Informants: Letters, Interviews, and Statements About U of Illinois P, 1997. 639. Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 256. · to Mary Owens. 13 December 1836. In Roy P. Vineyard, Nancy G. Letter to Jesse W. Weik. 4 February 1887. In Douglas 'ollected W0rks ofAbraham Lincoln. Springfield: L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Informants: 1 Association, 1953. 54. Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 601. Roy P. Basler, ed. The Collected WOrks ofAbraham :ld: Abraham Lincoln Association, 1953. 78. Wilson, Douglas L. Honor's V0ice: The Transformation ofAbraham Lincoln. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1998. · In Roy P. Basler, ed. The Collected W0rks of Wilson, Douglas L. and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's Informants: · Springfield: Abraham Lincoln Association, Letters, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham Lincoln. Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. ~ Browning. 1 April 1838. In Roy P. Basler, ed. 'ks ofAbraham Lincoln. Springfield: Abraham In, 1953. 117-119. rview with William H. Herndon. 8 September L. Wilson and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's r, Interviews, and Statements About Abraham U of Illinois P, 1997. 108. l William H. Herndon. 8 January 1866. In 1 and Rodney O. Davis, eds. Herndon's , Interviews, and Statements About Urbana: U of Illinois P, 1997. 155.

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