Using the Butterflies in My Stomach
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Becoming-Roller Derby: Women, Sport, and the Affects of Power Author Pavlidis, Adele Published 2013 Thesis Type Thesis (PhD Doctorate) School Department of Tourism, Sport and Hotel Management DOI https://doi.org/10.25904/1912/1342 Copyright Statement The author owns the copyright in this thesis, unless stated otherwise. Downloaded from http://hdl.handle.net/10072/366936 Griffith Research Online https://research-repository.griffith.edu.au Becoming-Roller Derby: Women, Sport, and the Affects of Power Adele Pavlidis BA (Hons) Department of Tourism, Sport and Hotel Management (Gold Coast, Australia) Griffith Business School Griffith University Submitted in fulfilment of the requirements of the degree of Doctor of Philosophy July 2013 ii Abstract This project is centrally concerned with (re)writing and (re)conceptualising a feminist cultural imaginary for sport and physical culture. Focusing on roller derby as a ‘new’ sport played predominantly by women, I examine the various affects in circulation, both on and off the track, and what these affects do. Thinking through affects, I highlight the processes of transformation that women undergo through roller derby and the challenges of sustaining this kind of cultural space into the future. In doing so, I have written of women in their multiplicity, drawing on post-structural conceptualisations of subjectivity and recent socio-cultural theorising of affects. I acknowledge the challenges of women coming together to pursue a shared goal, yet the project is a hopeful one, in which I offer alternatives to reductionist thinking or biological determinism. Conceptualisations of sport and leisure as ‘empowering’ or necessarily ‘resistant’ for women are questioned throughout this thesis. This questioning grounds my analysis in women’s bodies as they experience roller derby: as they skate, move, fall, bruise and break; and as they form friendships, allies and ‘enemies’, and feel love, joy and pleasure. Privileging women’s bodies throughout this thesis enables a focus on the affective realm of experience, rather than just the interpretive. A focus on affects tells a different story of sport and physical culture, one that is more generous in taking into account bodies sexed as female and their particular challenges in embodying power. The DIY ethos of many alternative and extreme sports has been central to the growth and governance of roller derby, and is often expressed via the ‘by the skater, for the skater’ slogan. This project interrogates this ethos, along with the ‘win at all costs’ philosophy traditionally aligned with sport, in a way that acknowledges women’s affects, iii in all their multiplicity – creative, destructive and everything in between – at the centre of the analysis. In roller derby, there are struggles among the women involved as they compete, on and off the track, for resources, authority and ‘power’. The affects in circulation through the sport – of pride and shame, love and anger, hope and disappointment – shape the social in very particular ways. Thinking through these affects provides illumination into the ways in which sport, transformations and organisations have been, and can be, thought in roller derby. In this thesis, writing and roller derby are brought together and both activities have possibilities for transforming knowledge, risk, success and failure. This project is part ethnographical, part autobiographical, as well as drawing on the more ‘traditional’ methods of interviews and textual analysis. It is an assemblage where fragments of stories are brought together to write roller derby in a way that is open to future possibilities, while still acknowledging the very temporality and spatiality of the research process. Having interviewed 36 women involved in roller derby for this project, and having spent hours immersed in the roller derby community in South-East Queensland, Australia, this thesis presents both a micro and macro perspective. Through examining the intricate, nuanced ways in which affects circulate between women at very local and more global levels, I demonstrate the importance of sensitivity, openness and the ‘feminine’ in research into physical cultures. Women’s affective experiences of roller derby are shaping the growth of the sport in very particular ways. Their feelings of exclusion, shame, success, pride, disappointment and love are shown as having important implications for the governance of the sport – for small local leagues and at regional, national and international levels – and for their own personal experiences of transformation. iv Statement of originality This work has not previously been submitted for a degree or diploma in any university. To the best of my knowledge and belief, the thesis contains no material previously published or written by another person, except where due reference is made in the thesis itself. The research for this thesis was authorised by the Griffith University Ethics Committee under the protocol number HSL/30/10/HREC Signed: Date: 26th July, 2013 v Me: my first bout, October 2010 vi Contents Abstract ......................................................................................................................... iii Statement of originality.................................................................................................. v Acknowledgements ........................................................................................................ x List of publications arising from research ................................................................... xii 1 Introduction ........................................................................................................ 1 Introduction .......................................................................................................... 3 Physical cultural studies: (female) bodies, power and society ............................. 5 The rise of roller derby: the story so far ............................................................... 8 Interdisciplinary roller derby research ................................................................ 14 The chapters........................................................................................................ 17 2 Sport, gender and power ........................................................................................ 21 Introduction ........................................................................................................ 21 Inspired by roller derby ...................................................................................... 28 Women and sport ................................................................................................ 31 Sport management and its limits ........................................................................ 34 Power and feminism: post-structural influences ................................................ 41 Alternative sport and the ‘affective turn’ ........................................................... 54 Belonging and community? ................................................................................ 58 Ways and means: beyond empowerment ........................................................... 63 3 Writing roller derby/research ............................................................................... 67 Introduction ........................................................................................................ 68 Writing ................................................................................................................ 70 Ethics and affect in feminist (auto/ethnographic) sport research ....................... 75 Multiple methodologies and post-structural influences ..................................... 82 Roller derby/research practice ............................................................................ 85 Narrative analysis: fragments of stories ............................................................. 92 Affective research ............................................................................................... 98 vii 4 Belonging and becoming: – ‘roller derby saved my soul’ ................................ 102 Introduction ...................................................................................................... 102 ‘Fire in the belly’: the healing power of roller derby ....................................... 114 ‘It’s taken roller derby to make me feel comfortable’: the power of belonging ..................................................................................... 126 ‘Proud to be a woman and to be in my body’: sexual abuse, strength and roller derby ................................................................................... 135 An alternative relation to ‘hardness’ ................................................................ 143 Conclusion ........................................................................................................ 145 5 The dark side of belonging .................................................................................. 149 Introduction ...................................................................................................... 150 Power and affect ............................................................................................... 152 Exclusion, subjectivity and affect: a research dilemma ................................... 161 The circuitry movement of affects: backwards transformations ...................... 167 The trouble with women: control,