The Grunch Eperusal

THE GRUNCH - ePerusal

Book, Music and Lyrics by Denver Casado & Betina Hershey

Additional Material by Brian Dawson ePerusal

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Part 1: SHOW OVERVIEW Synopsis Song List (clickable MP3 links) Character List

Part 2: FULL SCRIPT Text-Only Script with Embedded MP3 links

Part 3: ACTOR BOOK PREVIEW

Part 4: DIRECTOR BOOK PREVIEW

Part 5: PRICING/production kit

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Part 1: Overview

BASICS Length: 60-minutes Songs: 14 songs Scenes: 11

SUMMARY Inspired by “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas”, THE GRUNCH tells the story of Rudy Grunch, a grumpy 6th grader who always feels like an outsider. When the entire school gets excited about the annual school musical, he comes up with a perfect plan to ruin it for everyone; he’ll steal the sets, costumes and lights the night before it opens. But will the spirit of theatre prevail?

SONGS (click to play in browser)

Only the Theatre for Me More Like Me We’re Gonna Write a Musical How Can a Critic Jazz Hands Three Feet Tall Three Feet Tall Playoff The Train to Whoover All Part of the Magic If You Love Something More Like Me Reprise All Part of the Magic Reprise The Whoover Musical All Part of the Magic Finale

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CHARACTERS

The OUTCASTS Whoover Academy Staff Rudy Grunch Principal Augustus Mills Mrs. Woods

WHoover Drama Club Theatre Critics Harper New York Times (Mrs. Grunch) Jayden NY Magazine Leslie Backstage Chris NY Post Collin Variety Rachel Critics Chorus (optional) Robyn Javier JUNIOR STARS (FLOWERS) Alex Pip Jamie Apple Allen Tot Isadora Ribbon Drama Club Chorus Junior Stars Chorus (optional)

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Part 2: FULL SCRIPT (click song titles to play MP3 in internet browser)

SCENE 1

! (On the campus of WHOOVER ACADEMY. It’s the ﬁrst day of school. HARPER and ! JAYDEN enter from opposite sides of the stage. HARPER is carrying a large binder of ! playbills and wearing large, over-the-ear headphones. JAYDEN runs up to HARPER ! when she notices him.)

!!JAYDEN What’s up Harper?! How was your summer?

! (HARPER nods to the music, not hearing her. JAYDEN mistakenly thinks he’s nodding to her.)

!! ! JAYDEN Did your family take your annual road trip around the country checking out musicals?

! (HARPER nods to the music.) ONLY

!!JAYDEN That’s awesome...I wish I could’ve gone. I bet you guys saw the touring production of WICKED?

! (HARPER nods to the music.)

!!JAYDEN Aww, you’re SO lucky! Did your mom buy you the 5th Anniversary Special Edition CD?

! (HARPER continues to nod. JAYDEN begins to notice something is wrong.) !! ! ! JAYDEN Um...Harper?? HARPER! DUDE! Take your headphones off for once! ! !!HARPER (ﬁnally noticing him) Oh, Jayden, hey! Sorry, my mom just bought me the Wicked 5th Anniversary Special Edition CD! SoooooPERUSAL good!!! ! ! JAYDEN Well, glad to see you haven’t changed.

!!HARPER You gotta see my newest signed playbill...

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!!JAYDEN Whoa...so how many playbills does that make now?

!!HARPER Thirteen...hundred!

! (RUDY GRUNCH, a grumpy 6th grader, saunters by.)

!!JAYDEN Grunch! You gotta check this out.... ! (They show him the binder.)

!!GRUNCH Eh....So, wait. You’re telling me that you spent the WHOLE summer driving around the country watching musicals?

!!JAYDEN Yea, isn’t Harper the luckiest?!

!!GRUNCH More like the lamest. Sounds like torture to me! Why couldn’t you spend your summer like a normal kid, Facebook-ing, playing video games, hanging out byONLY the pool? ONLY THE THEATRE FOR ME ! (HARPER grabs GRUNCH by the shoulders and walks him downstage.)

!!HARPER Oh, Grunch, you just don’t understand.

!!HARPER ALL SUMMER LONG WHILE YOU’RE STUCK AT THE POOL I’M SINGING BROADWAY ALL DAY PRACTICING LINES, GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL WHERE I’LL BE REHEARSING THE NEXT WHOOVER PLAY

CUZ I COME ALIVE IN THE SPOTLIGHT! WHEN THE CURTAIN GOES UP, THINGS FEEL RIGHT! SO YOU SPEND YOUR SUMMER HOWEVER YOU PLEASE BUTPERUSAL IT’S ONLY THE THEATER FOR ME ! (The CURTAIN opens to reveal the entire WHOOVER DRAMA GROUP, arriving for their ! ﬁrst day of school. HARPER and JAYDEN interact with each group as the song ! progresses, dragging GRUNCH along.)

!!HARPER Hey everyone! You guys all ready for this year’s show?!

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!!DRAMA GROUP Yeah! Whoo hoo! etc.

! ! COLLIN (Obsessed with Shakespeare.) A thespian is ALWAYS ready!

!!JAMIE (The costume designer.) I’ve totally been tracking all the latest costume trends from Paris.

!!LESLIE (The leading lady.) I watched every Meryl Streep movie they have on NetFlix.

!!GRUNCH (Walking off.) That’s my cue...have fun “pretending” guys.

!!HARPER (Grabbing him and bringing him back.) Grunch, c’mon! You gotta join the club this year...it’s going to be amazing!

!!DRAMA GROUP PICTURE THE AUDIENCE UP ON THEIR FEET YELLING AND CLAPPING FOR MORE PICTURE YOUR HEART, HOW IT’S SKIPPING A BEAT YOU’RE RIGHT WHERE YOU WANTED TO BE, YEAH,ONLY YOU SOAR

CUZ WE COME ALIVE IN THE SPOTLIGHT WHEN THE CURTAIN GOES UP, THINGS FEEL RIGHT IF YOU WANNA SKIP IT, WELL, WE WON’T MAKE A FUSS BUT IT’S ONLY THE THEATER FOR US

! JAYDEN ME, I LOVE ALL THE JOY OF DISCOVERING HOW OUR CHARACTERS FEEL

! RACHEL, ALLEN WE BUILD SETS, FOCUS LIGHTS WHILE UNCOVERING WHAT MAKES THEATER SEEM REAL ! ! COLLIN SHAKESPEARE’S WISDOM, TO BE OR NOT TO BE YEAH, THAT MAKES ME COMPLETE ! PERUSALLESLIE & JAVIER THE PEOPLE SIT THERE STARING

! JAMIE WHILE ALL OF US ARE SHARING ! ! ALEX, ISADORA, CHRIS A SONG AND DANCE SO DARING

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! ALL REAL LIFE JUST CAN’T COMPETE! !! !!GRUNCH I will never, EVER have anything to do with your silly, ﬂuffy plays!

! (GRUNCH sees MILLS, his younger cousin, who walks on.)

!!GRUNCH Mills, let’s go.

(GRUNCH & MILLS run off.)

!!HARPER Don’t worry, they’ll come around. It’s SO good to be back together again!

! ALL UP ON THE STAGE YOU CAN BE SOMEONE NEW VILLAIN, OR HERO OR BRAT CHANGE YOUR WHOLE BODY, YOUR CHARACTER, TOO NOTHING I KNOW COULD FEEL BETTER THAN THATONLY

CUZ WE COME ALIVE IN THE SPOTLIGHT WHEN THE CURTAIN GOES UP, THINGS FEEL RIGHT WE STUDY EACH DAY SO WE’RE FULLY EQUIPPED TO BE WHAT WE’VE DREAMT WE WILL BE

! JAYDEN, LESLIE, CHRIS, ALEX, ISADORA, ROBYN MAGICAL! ! RACHEL, JAMIE BEAUTIFUL! ! COLLIN, JAVIER DANGEROUS! ! HARPER SPECTACULAR! ! ALL DRAMA GROUP PERFECTLY FREE! CUZ IT’S ONLY THE THEATER, ONLY THE THEATER YESPERUSAL IT’S ONLY THE THEATER FOR ME!

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SCENE 2

! (Under the bleachers in the school gymnasium. GRUNCH and MILLS have made it their ! LAIR.)

! ! GRUNCH At last! We’re away from that nonsense. All of these theater wanna-be’s singing and dancing are missing the entire point of what it means to be alive! Life is painful, it’s ugly, it’s disappointing...the exact opposite of a musical!

! ! MILLS They do have beautiful costumes every year.

! ! GRUNCH Oh sure, beautiful costumes, and incredible sets, and sparkly lights....why don’t people appreciate true talent! Like the fact that I won the Whoover regional chess tournament last year. Did I get a write-up in the paper? Did I get ﬂowers and balloons? Did I get hundreds of people showing up to my match and a standing ovation? No!!

! ! MILLS I was there. ONLY ! ! GRUNCH Of course you were, you’re my little cousin - Aunt Cathy says you have to stick with me.

!!MILLS I just don’t get what bothers you so much about school musicals?

!!GRUNCH Where do I start?! The auditions, the fundraising, the endless morning announcements! ! ! MORE LIKE ME Oh Mills...I can already see it.

!!GRUNCH ! FIRST A CROWD RUSHING UP TO FIND OUT WHO’S BEEN CAST ! AS IF NOTHING ELSE MATTERS AT ALL ! THEN A GASP AND A SHRIEK AS THEY FIND OUT AT LAST ! THEYPERUSAL GOT IN. THEN THEY FAINT IN THE HALL !!(Mockingly) ! “OH, I DREAMT ABOUT THIS THE WHOLE SUMMER ! AND AT LAST I AM FIN’LLY A STAR. !! !!MILLS ! I’M SO GLAD I GOT CAST ! OOH, I’M HAVING BLAST!”

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!!GRUNCH ! DON’T YOU FIND THEIR EXUBERANCE BIZARRE..!!!!

! THEY TAKE OVER THE GYM AND THE HALLS AND THE YARD ! AS IF NOBODY ELSE NEEDS THE SPACE ! THEY THINK EVERYONE’S GLAD BUT THEIR LOGIC IS MARRED ! EVEN IF IT’S JUST ME THEY DISPLACE

! “OH, I LOVE MY WHOLE CAST AND DIRECTOR ! YES, I FEEL LIKE WE’RE REALLY A TEAM

!!MILLS ! EVERY DAY WE REHEARSE ! MEMORIZING EACH VERSE”

!!GRUNCH ! IT’S ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WANNA SCREAM ! AHHHHH!

!!APPLE (popping head onstage) Hey, you have a really powerful voice, you should join the school musical!

! (GRUNCH stomps toward APPLE which scares her away.)ONLY

!!GRUNCH Out!

! ! MILLS I sill don’t understand why you’re so angry..isn’t your aunt a theatre critic in New York? !! !!GRUNCH That’s the other side of the family...wait a second...Mills, you’re brilliant!!! I can use her to ruin the musical forever!

! ! MILLS What?!

!!GRUNCH Yes...I’ll get my aunt to come see the musical, and somehow, someway, I’ll make sure they get the worst review ever! I’ve got it... ! FIRSTPERUSAL I’LL ENTER THEIR CLUB WHILE I HIDE MY REGRETS ! AND THEY’LL THINK THAT I DO LIKE THEIR PLAY ! THEN ON OPENING NIGHT I’LL HAVE HIDDEN THEIR SETS ! AND HAVE TAKEN THEIR COSTUMES AWAY!!

! AND MY AUNTIE WILL HATE THEIR PERFORMANCE ! YES, SHE’LL CRUSH THE WHOLE GROUP WITH HER INK ! I’LL HAVE DONE THE SCHOOL RIGHT

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! I WILL SHOW THEM THE LIGHT ! YES, I’LL SHOW THEM THAT MUSICALS STINK!

! I’LL HAVE WON! THEY’LL GO HOME AND STOP DREAMING ! AND THE NEXT YEAR WILL BE SO SERENE ! NO MORE PLAY, NO MORE SONG ! NO MORE CLUB TO BELONG ! THE WHOLE SCHOOL WILL BE MUCH MORE LIKE ME! ! THE WHOLE SCHOOL WILL BE MUCH MORE LIKE ME!

ONLY

PERUSAL

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SCENE 3

! (First day of drama class. The WHOOVER DRAMA CLUB is anxiously hanging out in the ! theatre, which is also their rehearsal space. The JUNIOR STARS are part of the drama ! group, the shortest/youngest students. Class should have started 5 minutes ago.)

!!JAYDEN (to HARPER) This isn’t like Mr. Martin to be late...what could be keeping him?

!!HARPER He’s probably ﬁnishing up photocopies of the new musical for this year. I can’t wait to ﬁnd out what it is!

!!JAYDEN I still don’t see how it could ever top last year’s Sunday in the Park with Grade Schoolers.

! ! LESLIE It’s true. People still compliment me on my inspired performance as the “hat”.

!!JAYDEN Uh oh, here we go... ONLY !!LESLIE I truly dug deep for that performance. Hours and hours of method acting, spending time in every hat store from here to Chicago, absorbing every style, color, emotion! ! (Becomes a hat. Overly dramatically.) “Oh, madam, please.....would you wear me! Weaaaar meeee!!!!” (Falls to the ﬂoor.)

!!COLLIN While rehearsing Hamlet this summer doth thy director never show-ith, up-ith, late...ith! Huzzah!

!!RACHEL Collin, we all know you went to Shakespeare camp this summer but...doth thou have a life-ith?

!!CHRIS I just hope we’re out by the time ping-pong practice starts. Can’t wait to try out my hot new back spin!

!!JAVIER Hey, here comesPERUSAL Principal Augustus! ! (PRINCIPAL AUGUSTUS enters, carrying a letter and a photograph. He/she has a ! tendency to ﬂub simple words.)

!!PRINCIPAL AUGUSTUS Children, welcome back from your summer mutation! Er, summer gyration! Um, summer...vacation! Yes! Unfortunately, I have some news to report. This summer, your drama teacher Mr. Martin went to Hawaii on vacation. Well, according to this letter, he’s not coming back. It seems he found his calling as a...hula ﬁre dancer.

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! ! (He holds up a large photo to the students. They lean forward to get a good look, !then ! lean back and collectively let out a quick sound of disgust.)

!!COLLIN That withered elf-skinned mammet!

!!PRINCIPAL AUGUSTUS So, seeing as he usually writes the musical each year, it seems we have no choice but to...cancel the drama club all together.

! (A stunned 2-second pause. Then...)

!!ALL DRAMA STUDENTS ! (Overeacting in a HUGE way, falling all over each ) No!! Nooo!!! Nooooo!!!! The horror! The agony! It can’t be! We’re ruined! My life is over! etc...

!!PRINCIPAL ! (Unsure of what to do, thinking off the top of his head.) Or...you could...write the show yourselves!

! ! LESLIE The actors become the playwrights...how symbolic! ONLY

!!PRINCIPAL The only thing is...you won’t really have a budget. Since we knew Mr. Martin wasn’t coming back we reassigned all of the drama funds to our football team.

!!ROBYN (holding up the student handbook) Wait! According to Article 5, Paragraph 3 of the Whoover Academy Handbook, “...any teacher who moves to Hawaii to become a hula ﬁre dancer must donate half their income to the annual musical.”

!!CHRIS But how much is that?

!!PRINCIPAL I’d say about ﬁfty...thousand dollars.

! ALL DRAMA STUDENTS ! (A stunned 2-second pause, then...) Whoooo hoooo!!!PERUSAL Yes!!! We’re rich!! Etc. !!PRINCIPAL Well, I’ll leave you guys to it. Good luck and remember...make this school mufﬁns! Pizza! ...Proud!

! (The PRINCIPAL exits.)

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!!JAYDEN This is great and all, but how are we going to write a musical?

!!CHRIS Yea, I struggled last night writing a one-page book report.

! ! HARPER Guys, don’t worry! I know every musical ever written, ever! They all follow the same format!

!!LESLIE Yea, how hard could it be? The South Park guys did it. (Mumbling of agreement.) Besides, I HAVE to have something to star in or this whole year will be a waste.

!!RACHEL Yea, we just need to collaborate!

!!HARPER Alex, you play piano, right? How are your skills? !!! !!ALEX Well, I just passed my Level 2 blue books.

!!HARPER ONLY Perfect! Can you give us some tunes? WE’RE GONNA WRITE A MUSICAL ! ! (ALEX goes over to the piano and starts playing a dramatic Chopin piece. Everyone ! looks worried.)

!!HARPER Um...how ‘bout a little less Chopin (show-pan) and a little more Show-Tunes! ! (ALEX starts playing in a more broadway style. Everyone starts getting excited.) Now we’re talking! Here we go!

!!DRAMA GROUP ! HEY WE’RE GONNA WRITE A MUSICAL, OH! ! EVERYBODY WRITE A MUSICAL, HEY! ! YEA WE’RE GONNA WRITE A MUSICAL ! HEREPERUSAL WE GO ! GONNA START WITH THE PLOT TODAY, OH! ! GONNA WRITE IT OUR OWN WAY ! LET’S WRITE THIS SHOW

!!HARPER OK, the ﬁrst thing every musical has is a main character who wants something more than anything else in the world. And he must sing about it!

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LESLIE An artist!

!!JAVIER A green witch!

!!ALLEN! A unicorn!

!!COLLIN! !! At shakespeare camp they always said “Write what you know.”

!!RACHEL Well, here in ______[our town] we’re know for our______[what our town is known for]. ! !!LESLIE Perfect...A ______[occupation]! I got it, I got it. Alex, give me something...hopeful! !!!!!!!!! !!LESLIE (over dramatically)!! ! ! ENSEMBLE ! SOMEDAY I’ll MAKE THE PERFECT ______!! ______! AND THEN OUR TOWN WILL REALLY THRIVE!! REALLY THRIVE ! AND THEN I’LL BE SO VERY HAPPY!! ! HAPPY ! OH WHAT A DAY TO BE ALIVE!!! ! !ONLYTO BE ALIVE ! TO BE ALIVE!!! ! ! ! ! ! TO BE ALIVE ! !!ALL Yea! Alright! Nice one! etc.

!!HARPER Alright, now step two. We need something that gets in the way of her dream. !! !!COLLIN The King of France!

!!HARPER !! !!! No, no, something bigger!

!!CHRIS An evil intergalactic space troupe who needs the ______[thing your town is know for] for fuel to power their star cruisers! !!PERUSALALL Yea!!

!! !!JAVIER I know! Alex, give me something menacing!

! (ALEX begins to play something dark and menacing.)

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!!JAVIER ! (gesturing for people to join him)

Nice...and an evil posse to help out!

!!JAVIER & OTHER DRAMA KIDS (sing backup)! ! HUM DUH DUM DUH DUM HA!

!!JAVIER ! WHAT’S THERE BELOW OUR SPACESHIP ! ______IS WHAT I SPY ! FOR US TO RUN THIS GREAT SHIP ! ______WILL HELP US FLY ! I’M SMART AND MEAN ! I’M AN INTERGALACTIC - - STEALING MACHINE ! CALL ME ALIEN SUPREME!

!!ALL DRAMA KIDS Yeah! Whoo hoo! Nice! etc.

!!DRAMA GROUP ! HEY WE’RE GONNA WRITE A MUSICAL, OH! ONLY ! EVERYBODY WRITE A MUSICAL, HEY! ! YEA WE’RE GONNA WRITE A MUSICAL ! HERE WE GO

! GONNA START WITH THE PLOT TODAY, HEY! ! GONNA WRITE IT OUR OWN WAY ! LET’S WRITE THIS SHOW

!!HARPER So the evil space troupe steals the ______[thing your town is know for], which puts our main character down in the dumps. We need something to inspire her to go after it again!

!!RACHEL Well, I know that when my Mom is sad, my Dad always cheers her up with ﬂowers.

!!HARPER Perfect! Who wants to be the ﬂowers? ! (EveryonePERUSAL looks away.) !!ISADORA Teach it to the Junior Stars! They love that stuff. !! !!JUNIOR STARS Noooo!

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!!ISADORA It can go something like this.

! IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING - YOU’VE GOT TO GO AFTER IT ! LOOK TO YOUR GUT ! BE THE ONE WHO’S TRIED - EVERYTHING POSSIBLE ! NO MATTER WHAT !!add in OTHERS ! THERE ARE THINGS OUT THERE - EVIL AND DANGEROUS ! BUT YOU’LL GET BY! ! DREAMS MAY COME TO YOU - LIKE YOU WANT THEM TO ! IF YOU JUST TRY!

HARPER Excellent! Now the last thing we need is...!! !! !!COLLIN A knight in shining armor who rides in on his noble....

!!CHRIS Ostrich!!

!!COLLIN ONLY …ostrich. And our hero then pulls out his sword, bravely battles the intergalactic rogues, cheers up the fair maiden with a poem and sings:

! NO NEED FOR DISMAY ! I’VE COME-ITH TO SAVE “AHHHH” THE DAY! !! !!ALL ! Alright, woo hoo! etc.

!!HARPER Yes! They gather the ______[thing your town is know for], bring it back to ______[your hometown], and then the entire cast stands in a line across the stage for a huge ﬁnale! (pointing to Alex) Key change!

!!LESLIE & GROUP 1!! ! ! ! GROUP 2 ! BELIEVE, YOU MUST BELIEVE IN DREAMING!! HEY WE’RE GOING TO !!!!!!!!!WRITE A MUSICAL, OH! !!!!!!!!!EVERYBODY WRITE A !!!!!!!!!PERUSAL MUSICAL, HEY! ! OR YOU WILL NEVER FIND THE DRIVE!! ! GONNA START WITH THE !!!!!!!!!PLOT TODAY, HEY! !!!!!!!!!GONNNA WRITE IT OUR !!!!!!!!!OWN WAY! ! AND WITH SOME FRIENDLY FLOWER SCHEMING! SCHEMING.

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!!ALL ! YOUR DREAMS WILL FINALLY ARRIVE!

!!GROUP 1 ! OH WHAT A DAY TO BE ALIVE!!! ! ! TO BE ALIVE!! ! TO BE ALIVE!!! ! ! ! ! ! TO BE ALIVE! !! !!ALL ! TO BE

! (GRUNCH enters with MILLS. The room falls silent.) ! !!GRUNCH Have room for two more?

! (The DRAMA GROUP instantly grabs them and welcomes them into their group.)

! ALIVE!! ONLY

PERUSAL

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SCENE 4

! (New York City. Underground in the 42nd Street subway station. As the underscoring ! plays, the critics one by one suspiciously begin to enter the scene from all different ! directions. They are dressed incognito, with large trench coats, sunglasses with ! mustaches attached and hats. After awhile they all gather near one bench. They look ! around, then:

! NY MAG (loud whisper) Password?!

! ALL CRITICS Bravissimo!

! NY MAG Whew, I think we’re safe. You can take off your disguises.

! (THE CRITICS remove their trenchcoats. Each critic is wearing a large identiﬁcation ! badge with the name of each newspaper clearly visable.)

! VARIETY ! Remind me again why you’re having us meet down here in the ONLY42nd street subway station? ! NY TIMES As the nation’s top theatre critics, we can’t let it be known that our jobs are on the line!

! BACKSTAGE Tell me about it?! I've been moonlighting as a saxophone player in the streets just to make ends meet.

! NY POST We must ﬁnd ways to bring new energy into our reviews, or soon we may have to..actually PAY for theatre tickets!

! ALL CRITICS (as a dramatic sigh) Ohhhh! Noo! Anything but that! etc.

! NY MAG Let’s begin with a roll call. Mrs. Grunch, of the New York Times? ! NY PERUSALTIMES Indeed, I am present, and am begging you to entertain me.

! NY MAG Variety?

! VARIETY Now this is the grit that we need to bring back into theatre!

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! NY MAG New York Post? ! ! NY POST (studying the surroundings) These sets must have gone WAY over budget! I’m calling their accountant...

! NY MAG And...Backstage?

! BACKSTAGE Present!

! NY MAG Great, who would like to begin?

! BACKSTAGE I would! The problem is not with our reviews, but it’s with the plays we’re reviewing! HOW CAN A CRITIC ! NY TIMES It’s true - I’m still trying to forget what I saw last night... “Tax Codes...theONLY Musical”. Just what has theatre come to?

! NY TIMES HOW CAN A CRITIC BE A GOOD CRITIC WHEN EVERYTHING PUTS US TO SLEEP IT’S DIFFICULT WRITING REVIEWS WHEN EVERY NIGHT WE’RE COUNTING SHEEP! ! ! NY MAG HOW CAN A CRITIC BE GOOD A CRITIC WHEN NOTHING WE SEE IS TOP NOTCH. IF NOTHING IS WORTHY OF PRAISE OUR READERS HAVE NOTHING TO WATCH!

! ALL OOOH, HOW WE LONG FOR A SHOW SO STUNNING SOMETHING SO FRESH WE COULDPERUSAL YELL “TOP RATE!” SOMETHING SO STRONG WE’D LEAVE LEAPING AND RUNNING WITH NOT ONE THING IN IT TO HATE

! VARIETY BUT HOW CAN A CRITIC BE A GOOD CRITIC WHEN NOTHING WE SEE’S WORTH A DIME?

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! ALL WE’D BE OF MORE USE SHINING SHOES OR BETTER YET TAKING A SNOOZE BUT STILL WE KEEP WRITING AND UTTERLY WASTING OUR TIME

! (NY TIMES’ cell phone rings. The ringtone is the “Chicken Dance.” She looks ! embarrassed for a second, and then:)

! NY TIMES One moment. (Holds the phone up to here ear.) Hello? Rudy Grunch, so nice to hear from you! Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh uh huh uh huh....yes! (Hangs up the phone.) Perhaps I have just what we all need... something fresh, new and dazzling!

! BACKSTAGE Musicville??

! NY TIMES Better! But we’ll have to leave NYC to see it.

! NY POST? Where is it? ONLY ! NY TIMES At the Whoover Academy, in ______[your town]. My nephew goes to school there. Apparently this new theater group is onto something, and WE are going to go review it!

! VARIETY At last! Let your nephew know that we’re all coming!

! ALL OOOH, HOW WE LONG FOR A SHOW SO YOUTHFUL SOMETHING SO FRESH WE COULD YELL “TOP RATE!” SOMETHING SO STRONG SOMETHING HEART-FELT AND TRUTHFUL WITH NOT ONE THING IN IT TO HATE

AND THAT’S HOW A CRITIC STAYS A GOOD CRITIC WE TRY ANY PLAY THAT SOUNDS SMART! WHOOVERPERUSAL SCHOOL, HERE WE COME READY TO STOP FEELING NUMB AND HOPING TO FIND YOU’VE CREATED A TRUE WORK OF ART!

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SCENE 5 ! ! (It’s two weeks into rehearsal and the WHOOVER DRAMA CLUB is busy !rehearsing ! preparing for the musical. Some kids are practicing choreography, others !working on ! costumes, ALLEN is tinkering with lighting gels, ALEX is notating some music ! at the ! piano. The JUNIORS STARS are optional to have in this scene. There’s a very ! happy ! busy-ness feeling. The following dialogue should happen rapid ﬁre.)

! (ISADORA is at the piano standing over ALEX.)

!!ISADORA That’s great, but is it possible to add another eight counts into the evil robotic dream sequence?

!!ALLEN (holding a few gels) What shade of purple should we use for the ﬁnale?

!!ROBYN Did anyone rewrite the ﬂower dialogue yet?

!!CHRIS Working on it! ONLY !!COLLIN (in his own corner) The lips, the teeth, the tip of the tongue!

!!JAYDEN Ensemble!

!!ALL ACTORS We’re heeere! !! !!JAYDEN Alright team, we’re two weeks into rehearsal and I thought I’d call us all together to see how things are developing. Costumes?

!!JAMIE! The sequins are being imported from Milan as we speak!

!!JAYDEN Ohh...nice. Sets? ! PERUSAL !!RACHEL We’ve had some issues with the ﬂying rig...but should have it worked out shortly!

!!JAYDEN Great. Intergalactic ensemble?

!!INTERGALACTIC ENSEMBLE (they sing and dance) ! HUM DUH DUM DUH DUM HA!

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!!JAYDEN Fabulous! Team, I can’t say how proud I am of the work we’ve done so far. This show is by far going to be the best.... ! ! (Suddenly they are interrupted by PRINCIPAL AUGUST who barges in the door.)

!!PRINCIPAL AUGUSTUS (offstage) Children! A special announcement. I just received word that every top theatre critic in New York City will be coming to ______[your town] to see your little show. It seems your newest cast- mate, Grunch, has some deep connections! His aunt is the head critic of the New York Times! Well, gotta go polish my stapler. Augustus, out!

! (PRINCIPAL AUGUSTUS exits as quickly as he entered.)

! (Same stunned pause as before, then...)

!!ALL Whoo hoo!! Yay!! Etc.

!!LESLIE Finally, we’re going to be famous! ONLY !!JAVIER And talked about!

!!COLLIN Three Huzzahs for Grunch!

!!ALL Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

!!GRUNCH (grunts.)

!!RACHEL Hey Grunch, you never actually told us. Why did you decide to join our play in the ﬁrst place? !!!! !!ALLEN Was it the excitement of rehearsals leading up to opening night? !!PERUSALJAMIE The depth of the language?

!!ROBYN The sense of community?

!!GRUNCH Hmph. I needed the extra credit to pass English.

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!! !!RACHEL Aww, Grunch...you need to lighten up.

!!JAMIE ! Yea, life is good, life is grand! There’s no need to be so grumpy all the time.

!!HARPER You know, in theatre we have this little “trick of the trade” we use to make us feel better when we’re feeling down. JAZZ HANDS ! (Music bump. The DRAMA GROUP starts gathering around him.)

!!GRUNCH Uh oh.

!!HARPER ! It doesn’t take much, but it works every time.

! (Music bump.) ONLY

!!GRUNCH No...no...I know what’s happening...

!!HARPER Why, I think now might be the perfect time to teach you about it.

! (By this time they are all surrounding him. The following song sounds suspiciously ! familiar to “All That Jazz” from Chicago.)

!!GRUNCH Please don’t.

! HARPER ! WHEN YOU WAKE UP FEELING CLOUDY ! LIKE YOUR DAY AIN’T GOT NO BLISS ! JUST THROW UP YOUR HANDS IN A FIST OF RAGE ! AND WIGGLE YOUR FINGERS...LIKE THIS! ! ‘CAUSE...PERUSAL !!!ALL DRAMA GROUP NOTHING ELSE WILL CHEER YOU UP LIKE THOSE RAZZLE, DAZZLE... JAZZ HANDS LIKE A RAINBOW, THEY SHIMMER IN THE LIGHT YOU MIGHT BELIEVE WE’RE STRANGE ... BUT YOUR MOOD WILL REARRANGE... YEAH

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STAND WHERE THE COOL KID STANDS WITH YOUR JAZZ HANDS

! GRUNCH I just remembered. I gotta go polish my chess pieces.

!!ALLEN You can’t leave now. We’re just getting started! ! !!ALL DRAMA GROUP SO YOUR HOMEWORK FLEW AWAY, GO ON SHAKE-A-SHAKE THOSE... JAZZ HANDS TEACHER, TEACHER, FORGIVE ME PLEASE, YOU ’LL SAY NO TEACHER CAN RESIST THAT SPECIAL SHAKE AND TWIST GOODBYE TO REPRIMANDS WITH YOUR JAZZ HANDS ! ! ! HARPER And that’s just the basics. The more advanced you get, the more “jazzy” things you can do. Guys, let’s show ‘em what we got. ! CHRIS ONLY OH, I LIKE TO SHAKE ‘EM WHILE I STOMP MY FEET! ! ALL JAZZ HANDS! ! JAMIE OH, I GOTTA SHAKE THAT HELPS ME TEXT AND TWEET! ! ALL JAZZ HANDS! ! LESLIE TRY UNDERNEATH YOUR KNEE ! JAVIER OR UPSIDE DOWN LIKE ME! ! ALEX BEST WAY TO COOL THE HEAT ! ALL USE YOUR... JAZZ HANDS

! ! ROBYN Hey, did anyone think about the fact that one negative review from the New York Times could ruin our programPERUSAL forever!? !!CHRIS You mean, critics are allowed to write bad things about kids? ! ! ! ROBYN You should’ve read what they wrote about the drama group in New Jersey...those kids never sang again, not ever in the shower.

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! (The whole group gets concerned.)

! ! HARPER Guys...don’t worry! Remember....(Waves his jazz hands.)

WHEN THE CRITICS COME TO TOWN, WE’LL JUST ! ALL SHAKE-A-SHAKE OUR... JAZZ HANDS ! HARPER AND I’LL BETCHA THAT LUCK IS ON OUR SIDE ! ALL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY WE’LL ALWAYS BE OK SOMEHOW, WE’LL STILL HAVE FANS WITH OUR JAZZ HANDS

C’MON GRUNCH GIVE IT A TRY WE’RE YOUR FRIENDS SO DON’T BE SHY USE YOUR JAZZ HANDS .... JAZZ HANDS! ONLY

PERUSAL

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SCENE 6

! (ISADORA and MRS. WOODS are rehearsing the JUNIOR STARS’ ﬂower song. They ! begin singing it with lackluster volume and choreography.)

!!ISADORA Come on, Junior Stars! Put some heart and soul into your voices! Mrs. Woods? Some help?

!!MRS. WOODS My darlings, my precious flower petals... you don’t seem to be living up to your flower-ific potential.

! (PRINCIPAL AUGUSTUS enters, sees the rehearsal going on and tries to bolt the other ! way. Mrs. Woods notices him.)

!!MRS. WOODS Oh! Principal Augustus. Would you please come over here and help inspire our little ones to be the best ﬂowers that they can be!

!!PRINCIPLE AUGUSTUS Yes, of course, ahem. Remember kiddies, there are no small parts, there are only small beavers. Er...lightbulbs! Um...actors! Well, I must get going... ONLY

!!PIP Waaaaaaiiitt!!!

APPLE Principal Augustus, Mrs. Woods, we have something to say. !! !!TOT Something that we’ve been wanting to say for a looooong time.

!!RIBBON You see, the thing is, we have a BIG problem with our characters in the musical.

ISADORA But I thought you were thrilled to be part of the show?

!!PIP We were, untilPERUSAL we learned we’d playing flowers....again!! !!APPLE Yea! We were daisies in kindergarten, tulips in first grade, sunflowers in second grade, and now...... wildflowers? Enough with the flowers already!!

!!MRS. WOODS But you’re just sooooo cute!!

!!ALL JUNIOR STARS

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Are we?!?? Are we?!?!??!??!? THREE FEET TALL !!RIBBON It’s about time somebody wrote us a song that shows how we really feel!

!!JUNIOR STARS ! SEEMS LIKE ! ALL WE EVER SING ARE SONGS ABOUT BEING HAPPY ! ALL WE EVER SING ARE SONGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE ! ALL WE EVER SING ARE SONGS ABOUT BLUEBIRDS AND SUNSHINE ! HOW ‘BOUT EVERYBODY LISTEN TO US AWHILE

! WE WANT TO SING ABOUT ! WHY THE CHOCOLATE MILK IS OH SO HARD TO OPEN! ! WILL WE EVER GROW, WHO KNOWS, BUT HERE’S TO HOPIN’! ! MOM! IT’S SO EMBARRASSING TO HOLD HANDS AT THE MALL! ! YEA THAT’S WHAT YOU SING, WHEN YOU’RE 3 FEET TALL!

! BUT ! THEN WE GO TO SCHOOL AND LEARN NEW SONGSONLY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP ! THEN WE GO TO SCHOOL AND SING ‘BOUT RIGHT AND WRONG ! THEN WE GO TO SCHOOL AND GET DRESSED UP AS MUNCHKINS AND !!FLOWERS ! HOW ‘BOUT EVERYBODY LET US WRITE OUR OWN SONG

! WE’D WRITE A SONG ABOUT ! THAT KID CRAIG WHO ALWAYS STEALS OUR BALL AT LUNCHTIME ! SURE I LIKE TO PICK MY NOSE, BUT IS IT A CRIME!? ! DAD! YOU THINK YOU’RE FUNNY BUT YOU’RE REALLY NOT AT ALL! ! YEA, THAT’S WHAT YOU SING, WHEN YOU’RE 3 FEET TALL!

! OH WHY CAN’T WE !!GROUP 1 ! RIDE A ROLLER COASTER?! !!ALL ! OH WHY CAN’T WE !!GROUP 2 ! ORDER GROWN UP MEALS?! !!PERUSALALL ! PLEASE DON’T BUY ME !!GROUP 3 ! ONE MORE SPONGEBOB POSTER !!ALL ! JUST KNOW HOW IT FEELS, TO

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! ALWAYS BE THE ONE WHO HAS TO SIT IN THE MIDDLE ! ALWAYS BE THE ONE WITH ICE CREAM WHEN WE’RE SAD ! ALWAYS BE THE ONE WHO GETS TUCKED IN WITH STORIES, AND KISSES. ! HM, MAYBE BEING LITTLE REALLY AIN’T SO BAD ! MAYBE BEING LITTLE REALLY AIN’T SO BAD

! (The Junior Stars suddenly have a change of heart.)

!!PIP You know, we could do ﬂowers for another year.

!!APPLE Yea, I’m good with ﬂowers.

!!TOT You good with ﬂowers?

!!RIBBON Yea, I’m good. You guys good?

!!ALL JUNIOR STARS Yea, yep, good here, sounds like a plan, etc. ! ONLY !!PRINCIPLE AUGUSTUS Well, my work is done here, another conﬂict resolved by the magic of musical theatre. Augustus, out!

! (PRINCIPAL AUGUSTUS EXITS.)

!!ISADORA (looking at watch) Glad you came around. (Looking at watch) Oh! Time to go rehearse the evil space dance!

!!MRS. WOODS And I’m late for lunch duty!

!!RIBBON But who will give us feedback?

!!MRS. WOODS Why don’t youPERUSAL go ask Grunch? He usually says it like it is. Ta ta! THREE FEET TALL PLAYOFF ! ! (ISADORA and MRS. WOODS EXIT. The JR STARS slowly turn toward the audience.) !! !!JUNIOR STARS ! WE LIKE TO SING ABOUT... ! WHY OUR CHAIRS ARE ALWAYS SMALLER THAN THE OTHERS

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! WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH STINKY SMELLY OLDER BROTHERS? ! SURE! WE’VE GOT SOME PROBLEMS BUT WE’RE HAPPY TO BE SMALL ! YEA THAT’S WHAT YOU SING ! THAT’S WHAT YOU SING ! YEA THAT’S WHAT YOU SING ! WHEN YOU’RE THREE FEET TALL!

ONLY

PERUSAL

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SCENE 7

! (The CRITICS are on the train headed to Whoover Academy. They’re all reading ! papers. The following scene plays out in rhythm a la the opening train scene in “The ! Music Man”.) THE TRAIN TO WHOOVER !!CONDUCTOR All aboard, train 48 to ______[name of your town]! All aboard!

!! ! ALL CRITICS:!! Trash in the articles, !!!!Trash in the papers, !!!!Cash for the word count, !!!!Cash for the writers. !!!!Cash for the editors, the copiers, the critics.

! NY MAG:!! Whatdya read? ! BACKSTAGE:! Whatdya read? ! NY POST:!! Whatdya read? ONLY ! NY TIMES: !! Whatdya read?

! BACKSTAGE:! Hear they’re gonna lay off 18 writers ! NY MAG:!! 18? ! NY POST:!! 19? ! NY TIMES:!! 16? ! BACKSTAGE:! 24!

! ALL CRITICS:!! What’s gonna happen? !!!!What’s gonna happen? !!!!What’s gonna happen after that?

! NY POST:!! Maybe this play could save our jobs! ! NY MAG:!! Do you think? ! NY TIMES:!! Do you think? ! BACKSTAGE:! Do you think, it could? ! ALL CRITICS:!! Yessss, ma’am. ! !!!PERUSALYessss, ma’am. ! NY POST:!! It’s gotta be good to keep our jobs. ! ALL CRITICS:!! It’s gotta be good to keep our jobs!

VARIETY: But it’s written by the students!

! NY TIMES:!! Well I heard they gotta plot with pretty ﬂowers! ! NY MAG:!! Flowers? ! BACKSTAGE:! Flowers?

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! NY POST:!! Flowers? ! ALL CRITICS:!! Flowers!

! NY TIMES:!! And they’ve been rehearsing umpteen hours! ! NY MAG:!! Hours? ! BACKSTAGE:! Hours? ! NY POST:! ! Hours? ! ALL CRITICS:!! Flowers!

! NY MAG:!! Gotta new kid by the name of Grunch. ! BACKSTAGE:! Gotta a new kid by the name of Grunch? ! ALL CRITICS:!! Yessss, ma’am! !!!!Yessss, ma’am! ! NY MAG:!! But I heard he doesn’t like the stage. ! ALL CRITICS:!! Noooo ma’am, noooo ma’am!

! NY TIMES:! ! Well it doesn’t really matter cause I heard it’s good. ! ALL CRITICS:!! How good? ! NY TIMES:!! Good, good.

! NY POST!! It’s gotta be good to keep our jobs. ! ALL CRITICS:! It’s gotta be good to keep our jobs!ONLY VARIETY:! But it’s written by the students!

! BACKSTAGE:! Anyone know about the sets and lights? ! NY POST:!! Heard they got lights from across the pond ! ALL CRITICS:!! Big budget! !!!!Big budget! ! NY POST:! ! Alien lights, with a moonbeam glow and a twinkle and a sparkle !!!!and a sheet of snow. ! NY TIMES:!! Snow? ! NY MAG:! ! Snow? ! BACKSTAGE:! Real snow? ! ! NY TIMES:! ! Well it doesn’t really matter cause I heard it’s good. ! ALL CRITICS:! How good? ! NY TIMES:!! Good, good.

! NY POST:!! It’s gotta be good to keep our jobs. ! ALL CRITICS:! It’s gotta be good to keep our jobs! !!!!PERUSALYes ma’am. Yes ma’am. (slowing down.) !!!!It’s gotta be good to keep our jobs. !!!!Yes ma’am. Yes ma’am. Yes ma’am. Yes ma’am.

VARIETY: ! But it’s written by the students!

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SCENE 8 ! ! (The theater space. RACHEL is laying down tape, setting down marks for the sets. ! ALLEN is up on a stool, with a screw driver adjusting lights. JAMIE is working on the ! costumes. It’s quiet. All of a sudden we hear the roar of the paparazzi and camera ! ﬂashes offstage as JAVIER and LESLIE rush in.)

!!JAVIER No more questions please! No comment! I have to get back to class!!

!!LESLIE Thank you, thank you - you’re all so sweet. We’ve gotta run. Call my press agent!!!

!!JAVIER Whoa, that was crazy! Who would’ve thought that having a few New York critics come review our show would cause such a media frenzy?

!!LESLIE I’m not shocked in the least, it’s about time our talent is recognized for what it is.

!!JAVIER ONLY Sets are looking good Rachel.

! LESLIE Allen, make sure you use a soft glow for my ﬁnal solo number. Thanks sweetie!!

! (An aggressive REPORTER barges in. LESLIE and JAVIER notice and immediately ! EXIT.)

! ! JAVIER & LESLIE Quick, let’s go!

!!REPORTER (running up to RACHEL) Excuse me, can I bother you for a comment? What character do you play in the musical?

!!RACHEL Oh no, I’m not an actor.

!!REPORTER Oh, you mustPERUSAL be a writer! How’s it feel to have written the most talked-about musical since ______We Are Monsters?! [insert last year’s school musical]

!!RACHEL Well, I’m not a writer either.

!!REPORTER So, you’re not an actor, you’re not a writer...what exactly do you do?

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!! !!RACHEL I take care of everything backstage.

!!REPORTER That’s it? Don’t you get jealous of Leslie and Javier getting all the attention? IT’S ALL PART OF THE MAGIC !!RACHEL Not at all.

YOU CAN FIND ME BEHIND THE SCEN’RY STANDING FIRM TILL I HEAR MY CUE MOVING PLATFORMS AND BITS OF GREEN’RY MAKING SURE NOTHING FALLS ON YOU

YOU MIGHT IMAGINE THAT MY ARMS GET PRETTY TIRED AND YES THEY DO, BUT I DON’T MIND

CUZ IT’S ALL PART OF THE MAGIC IT’S MUCH MORE THAN MUNDANE ONLY IT’S ALL PART OF THE MAGIC THE MAGIC OF HELPING TO ENTERTAIN

!!ALLEN NOTHING HAPPENS IN UTTER DARKNESS SO THEY NEED ME TO SHED SOME LIGHT UP I CLIMB WITH MY BULBS AND COLORS SWITCHING GELS TIL I GET IT RIGHT

! RACHEL & ALLEN YOU MIGHT FORGET ME WHILE I’M UP THERE ON THAT LADDER BUT STILL I’M PROUD OF WHAT I DO

CUZ IT’S ALL PART OF THE MAGIC IT’S MUCH MORE THAN MUNDANE IT’S ALL PART OF THE MAGIC THE MAGIC OF HELPING TO ENTERTAIN !! !!PERUSALRACHEL & ALLEN & JAMIE WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID I NEVER REALLY KNEW BEING SO BEHIND THE SCENES IS WHAT I’D WANT TO DO MOST KIDS DREAM OF BEING STARS AND HOPE FOR SOMETHING MORE BUT I TAKE PRIDE IN WHAT I DO ALTHOUGH IT’S QUITE OBSCURE

!!JAMIE I’M THE ONE WITH THE CLOTH AND NEEDLE

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HEMMING PANTS TIL THE LAST ONE’S FIXED! THOUGH SOME ACTORS ARE NEVER HAPPY IT’S THE AUDIENCE I’VE TRANSFIXED

! RACHEL & ALLEN & JAMIE ALTHOUGH WE NEVER GET TO STAND THERE IN THE SPOTLIGHT WE KNOW WE’RE PART OF EVERY BOW

CUZ IT’S ALL PART OF THE MAGIC IT’S MUCH MORE THAN MUNDANE IT’S ALL PART OF THE MAGIC THE MAGIC OF HELPING TO ENTERTAIN THE MAGIC OF HELPING TO ENTERTAIN

ONLY

PERUSAL

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SCENE 9 ! ! (It’s the day before opening night. The ﬁnal dress rehearsal is tonight. GRUNCH and ! MILLS are in their lair in the gym.)

! GRUNCH At last Mills, like a perfect game of chess, all of the pieces are in place. Now, let’s go over the strategy for tonight, play by play. At 7pm...

!!MILLS ...the drama group gathers for their ﬁnal dress rehearsal.

!!GRUNCH At 10pm...

!!MILLS We hide until the drama group goes home.

! GRUNCH Yes, and then...at 10:30pm... !!MILLS ONLY We go for ice cream.

!!GRUNCH No!!! We grab the props, sets and costumes and stash them away in here where no one will ﬁnd them! Then we go back to lock the lighting board and unplug the sound system, leaving them with only a dark, empty, silent theatre when they arrive for opening night.

!!MILLS Checkmate!

!!GRUNCH Precisely.

! (The JUNIOR STARS CHORUS enters, not seeing GRUNCH and MILLS in their Lair. ! They start searching everywhere for GRUNCH.)

! ! PIP Grunch! Gruuuuunch??PERUSAL ! APPLE We need you!

! GRUNCH (Freezes, indicating to MILLS to be quiet) Why are they calling for me?

!!TOT Mrs. Woods said you’d help us with our ﬂower song before our opening tomorrow...

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!!PIP Gruuuuunch!!!

! (GRUNCH and MILLS try to sneak out, but RIBBON sees them.)

!!RIBBON There you are! We need your feedback.

!!TOT Everyone knows you tell it like it is Grunch.

!!GRUNCH (grunts.)

!!PIP Here we go, a 1, 2, 3, 4... IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING ! ! ALL JR STARS (normal) ! IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING YOU’VE GOTTA GO AFTERONLY IT ! LOOK TO YOUR GUT

!!GRUNCH ! Bigger!

!!JR STARS (more energy) ! BE THE ONE WHO’S TRIED EVERYTHING POSSIBLE NO MATTER WHAT... ! ! GRUNCH More angst!

!!JR STARS (more angst) ! THERE ARE THINGS OUT THERE EVIL AND DANGEROUS ! BUT YOU’LL GET BY... ! ! GRUNCH Yes! ! !!PERUSALJR STARS ! DREAMS MAY COME TO LIKE YOU WANT THEM TO ! IF YOU JUST TRY

! (GRUNCH gets carried away and joins in. As he does, he begins to think more and more ! about what he’s singing about.) !!

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!!GRUNCH & JR STARS ! IT’S SCARY YES AND SO CONFUSING ! BUT YOU JUST CAN’T SIT AND CRY WHEN YOU ARE LOSING

! (The song pauses. GRUNCH starts weeping a little. Everyone looks at him.)

!!RIBBON! Grunch, are you ok?

!!GRUNCH Yes...um, ahem... I’m ﬁne. Keep going!

!!JR. STARS IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING YOU’VE GOTTA GO AFTER GO NOW! DON’T WAIT! COME ON, LIFT YOUR HEAD - GATHER YOUR COURAGE AND WALK OUT THAT GATE! THERE ARE THINGS OUT THERE - EVIL AND DANGEROUS BUT YOU’LL GET BY! DREAMS MAY COME TO YOU - LIKE YOU WANT THEM TO IF YOU JUST TRY!

! (The JUNIOR STARS run to GRUNCH and give him a bigONLY hug. He looks truly touched.)

!!APPLE Thanks Grunch!

!!TOT Can’t wait for opening night!

!!PIP Our very ﬁrst musical, it’s going to be amazing!

!!ALL JR STARS (As they EXIT.) Yea! Amazing! Whoo hoo!

!!MILLS Grunch, what was that? Tears? Hugs? You having a change of heart?

!!GRUNCH Me? No way!PERUSAL (gets serious) Nothing changes, the plan must go on! MORE LIKE ME REPRISE ! NO MORE PLAY, NO MORE SONG ! NO MORE CLUB TO BELONG ! THE WHOLE SCHOOL WILL BE MUCH MORE LIKE ME! ! THE WHOLE SCHOOL WILL BE MUCH MORE LIKE ME!

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SCENE 10

! (The WHOOVER DRAMA CLUB is gathered in the theater space. They have just ! ﬁnished their ﬁnal dress rehearsal. RACHEL is standing over everyone with a ! clipboard. The actors are noticeably exhausted.)

!!RACHEL Great job everybody, awesome run through. Just a few notes. Chris, Robyn...when you’re raising the spaceship in Scene two, make sure you’re at the same levels so it looks like it’s taking off with ground propulsion...

!!CHRIS & ROBYN Ok, got it.

!!RACHEL Javier, in Scene 4, the line is “Do NOT take the fair maiden.” Not “TAKE the fair maiden!”

!!JAVIER Doh! I always get the tongue twisters...

!!RACHEL Everyone, stop what you’re doing and look at Collin. ONLY ! (Everyone turns to COLLIN, who strikes a Shakespearean pose.) That’s the level of eye-shadow we’re going for to make it believable.

!!COLLIN I love-ith my maybeline.

!!RACHEL Alright...Jadyen, anything else?

!!JAYDEN Just one thing....I know this process has been a little crazy but I’m so proud of the work we’ve all done together. Mr. Martin would be proud, up there in...Hawaii.

!!ALL DRAMA GROUP ! (Looking out over the audience, nods of approval and smiles.) ALLPERUSAL PART OF THE MAGIC (REPRISE) !!HARPER Just look at that...tomorrow night, all those seats will be full. A brand new audience to entertain. Listen...

!!HARPER IN THE HUSH OF A DARKENED THEATER THERE’S A TINGLE I ALWAYS FEEL LOOKING OUT WHILE THE SEATS ARE EMPTY

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SOMEONE PINCH ME. IT CAN’T BE REAL

!!ALL THE SETS, THE LIGHTS, THE COSTUMES, WAITING FOR THE ACTORS THE THRILL OF KNOWING WHAT WE’VE DONE

OH IT’S ALL PART OF THE MAGIC IT’S MUCH MORE THAN MUNDANE IT’S ALL PART OF THE MAGIC THE MAGIC OF HELPING TO ENTERTAIN

!!ALL DRAMA GROUP Goodnight everyone! Nice work. Get some rest. etc.

! (They give each other hugs, all start to gather their things and EXIT.)

!!GRUNCH (sneaking out from behind a block) Mills, are they gone?

!!MILLS Yes. But Grunch, did you see how proud they were of everything?

!!GRUNCH ONLY Shhh! Don’t ruin this moment for me. (Mills is about to speak.) Don’t! Let’s stick to the plan.

! (Quietly, Grunch stuffs the props and costumes into a few bags, takes the gels from the ! lights, takes the mics and the keyboard, and leaves the stage bare except for one tiny ! ﬂower. A moment later, Grunch returns and takes the ﬂower and stuffs it into the !bag ! and smiles at the audience. Evil laugh. Lights out.)

PERUSAL

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SCENE 11

! (PRINCIPAL AUGUSTUS and MRS. WOODS are anxiously waiting inside the auditorium ! a half hour before curtain time. PRINCIPAL is pacing, MRS. WOODS is spraying air ! freshener. They’re expecting the critics any minute.)

! PRINCIPAL Oh, I shouldn’t have eaten that Mexican food last night!

! MRS WOODS Relax, you’ll be ﬁne.

! PRINCIPAL How can I relax when any minute the biggest critics from New York are going to arrive to our humble auditorium! For a musical that I haven’t even seen yet!

! MRS. WOODS Oh, I’m sure they’re very, very sweet.

! VARIETY (offstage) Get your hands off my briefcase you buffoon!! ONLY ! (The critics begin ﬁling in. PRINCIPAL and MRS. WOODS immediately take action in ! catering to their guests.)

! PRINCIPAL Welcome! Welcome, we’ve been expecting your Aristotle! (MRS WOODS elbows him) ...arrival!

! MRS WOODS We’re just so happy you came all this way for our little ol’ musical.

! PRINCIPAL Could we get you anything to drink? ! ! NY TIMES I’ll have a lime spritzer.

! VARIETY I’ll have a spanish coke... (They look at him questionably.) ...it’s from Spain. !!PERUSAL ! PRINCIPAL Um....all we have is juice, and chocolate milk.

! ALL CRITICS Good.

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! GRUNCH (ENTERS, being super sweet, in a fake way.) Auntie! Auntie! (gives her a big hug) On behalf of the entire school and the esteemed Drama Department here at Whoover Academy, we thank you all for coming tonight! We’ve all worked really hard...I know you’re absolutely going to LOVE it! ! ! NY TIMES Why thank you, Rudy. Your mom would be so proud. ! ! GRUNCH So, your reviews are going to be published in ALL the major newspapers throughout the country, right??

! CRITICS Any newspaper that’s worth a dime.

! (ALL CRITICS chuckle.)

! GRUNCH Excellent. Ok, well, I gotta go make sure everything is in place...see you after the show! (He EXITS.)

! PRINCIPAL Please, follow me to your seats. We’re just about to get started...ONLY

! (THE PRINCIPAL and MRS. WOODS lead the critics to the audience where they have a ! seat. Meanwhile, the DRAMA GROUP enters, technically “backstage” in the theatre, ! stunned that everything is gone.

!!!LESLIE Gone! Gone!? What do you mean it’s gone?

!!ALLEN I came back here 5 minutes ago...look! No sets, no costumes, no props, and the lighting board isn’t working!

!!CHRIS What are we going to do?

!!JAVIER The critics are out there right now, and we’re supposed to start any minute! !!PERUSALCOLLIN O, how bitter it is to look upon a bare stage!

!!HARPER We can do this! Remember, theatre is about telling stories...the show must go on!

!!JAYDEN Yea! We can improvise with whatever we can ﬁnd. Now let’s go make this school...

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!!ALL (everyone circles up and puts their hands in the middle.) Mufﬁns! Pizza! Prooooud!

!!PRINCIPAL Break a ligament, team! ! (Walks in front of the curtain.) THE WHOOVER MUSICAL Welcome all to the premiere production of...of... ! (someone whispers from behind the curtain)... THE ______, HER FLOWERS AND THE INTERGALACTIC SPACE THIEVES...the musical!

(The CRITICS murmur.)

!!GRUNCH (off to the side) This is it Mills! Get ready to see them crash and burn.

! (The Music starts, the curtains open to a bare stage. LESLIE enters with the ! ENSEMBLE. Throughout the show they use everyday props they found backstage: toilet ! paper rolls, table cloths, ﬂashlights, scarves, toy piano.)ONLY

!!LESLIE (with hesitation at ﬁrst) Ah, the birds are chirping (the ENSEMBLE chirps), the sun is shining (ALLEN walks around her shining a ﬂashlight), the perfect time to try and perfect my ______. [thing your town is known for]

!!LESLIE (over dramatically)!! ! ! ENSEMBLE ! SOMEDAY I’ll MAKE THE PERFECT ______!! ______! AND THEN OUR TOWN WILL REALLY THRIVE!! REALLY THRIVE ! AND THEN I’LL BE SO VERY HAPPY!! ! HAPPY ! OH WHAT A DAY TO BE ALIVE!!! ! ! TO BE ALIVE ! TO BE ALIVE!!! ! ! ! ! ! TO BE ALIVE! !!!!!TO BE ALIVE!

!!(THE CRITICS applaud wildly.)

!!GRUNCH What?! What’s happening? !!PERUSAL !!(JAVIER and his evil cohorts enter. THE CRITICS laugh enthusiastically.)

!!CHRIS, JAVIER, ROBYN, ALLEN ! HUM DUH DUM DUH DUM HA!!

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!!JAVIER Aha! Look down there! Exactly what our spaceship needs to ﬂy forever!! Let’s sneak down there and steal those/that ______!!

! I’M SMART MEAN ! I’M AN INTERGALACTIC STEALING MACHINE ! CALL ME “ALIEN SUPREME”!

! (The evil space troupe in slow motion takes away the _____ from LESLIE, and exit. ! THE CRITICS applaud. The JUNIOR STARS ENTER as ﬂowers and surround LESLIE.)

!!GRUNCH (offstage - crouching behind his lair) I just don’t understand...

!!LESLIE (sincerely) Take a dream away from a dreamer and what is there left? A ﬁeld full of ﬂowers but not one small ray of hope.

!!JUNIOR STARS You can’t stop dreaming.

!!LESLIE But why dream only to have it taken away? ONLY

!! JUNIOR STARS No one can take away dreams!

!!GRUNCH (starting to get a little carried away with the story) Yea! I mean...

!!JUNIOR STARS You’ve gotta ﬁght for them.

!!JUNIOR STARS ! IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING - YOU’VE GOT TO GO AFTER IT ! LOOK TO YOUR GUT ! BE THE ONE WHO’S TRIED - EVERYTHING POSSIBLE ! NO MATTER WHAT ! THERE ARE THINGS OUT THERE - EVIL AND DANGEROUS ! BUT YOU’LL GET BY! ! DREAMS MAY COME TO YOU - LIKE YOU WANT THEM TO ! IF YOUPERUSAL JUST TRY! !!LESLIE There’s no use. I give up.

! ! GRUNCH (running onstage with MILLS) Noo!! You can’t! Listen to those ﬂowers!!

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!!JUNIOR STARS, GRUNCH, MILLS ! IT’S SCARY YES ! AND SO CONFUSING ! BUT YOU JUST CAN’T SIT AND CRY ! WHEN YOU ARE LOSING

! ! GRUNCH Wait right there... ! ! (GRUNCH runs offstage, grabs the bags of costumes, props and all the things he had ! stolen, and throughout the next section begins distributing them on stage with MILLS’ ! help.)

! IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING - YOU’VE GOTTA GO AFTER IT ! GO NO DON’T WAIT ! C’MON ON LIFT YOU HEAD - GATHER YOUR COURAGE AND ! WALK OUT THAT GATE ! THERE ARE THINGS OUT THERE - EVIL AND DANGEROUS ! BUT YOU’LL GET BY ! DREAMS MAY COME TO YOU - LIKE YOU WANT THEM TO ! IF YOU JUST TRY

!!LESLIE ONLY Alright, I’ll do it! I’ll defeat that Intergalactic Space Troupe..but how?

!!COLLIN Fair maiden, I may be of service!

! I’VE COMITH TO SAVE - AHHHH - THE DAY!

! (COLLIN defeats the Space Troupe.)

!!LESLIE We did it!

!!ALL DRAMA GROUP Whoo hoo!! Yea!! Etc.

! (The ENTIRE ENSEMBLE comes together to sing.)

!!LESLIE & GROUP 1!! ! ! ! GROUP 2 ! BELIEVE,PERUSAL YOU MUST BELIEVE IN DREAMING!! DREAMING ! OR YOU WILL NEVER FIND THE DRIVE!! ! FIND THE DRIVE ! AND WITH SOME FRIENDLY FLOWER SCHEMING! SCHEMING ! YOUR DREAMS WILL FINALLY ARRIVE!

!! GROUP 1 ! OH WHAT A DAY TO BE ALIVE!!! ! ! TO BE ALIVE! ! TO BE ALIVE!!! ! ! ! ! ! TO BE ALIVE

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!!ALL ! TO BE ALIVE!

! (THE CRITICS rush the stage applauding.)

!!CRITICS Bravo! Encore! Amazing! Spot on! Brilliant! etc.

!!NY TIMES You were all SPECTACULAR!

!!BACKSTAGE Who came up with the genius combination of aliens and ﬂowers?!

! ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY I particularly liked the many layers of the lead actress - where did you study?

!!VARIETY And how on earth did you think of such simple costumes, sets, lighting, and then that transformation at the end? Brilliant!

!!JAYDEN (with a wink) Well, Grunch was mostly responsible for that. Grunch, thanks forONLY being part of the show. We couldn’t have done it without you.

!!GRUNCH Really?

!!NY TIMES Rudy, I knew you had it in you!

!!GRUNCH Wait, wait..I’m not the one who made this show a success...it was all of them. I’m really sorry guys. I thought I could ruin the show by taking away the sets, props and costumes...but I guess theatre is about much more than that. I’ve never felt a thrill like I felt being on stage...like I was part of something HUGE!

!!COLLIN Did-th your heart grow, perchance, 3 sizes larger in thy chest?

!!GRUNCH I think...I think...PERUSAL(he pretends to faint, falls on the ﬂoor. Everyone becomes concerned for a second.) Gotcha! (with jazz hands.) ALL PART OF THE MAGIC FINALE ! !!JAYDEN Aww, Grunch, you’re a natural!

Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573 THE GRUNCH - ePerusal

!!RACHEL So can we count on you to be in next year’s show?

!!GRUNCH I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Right Mills? (Mills nods and smiles.)

!!FULL CAST (Turning to audience) ! NOW YOU’VE SEEN US WITHOUT THE GLAMOUR ! NOW YOU’VE SEEN US WITH SIMPLE SCENES ! AND WE’RE ALL JUST A LITTLE WISER ! NOW WE KNOW WHAT IT REALLY MEANS

! WE DON’T NEED GLITTER, FANCY SETS OR LOTS OF MONEY ! TO TELL A STORY LIKE IT’S REAL

! ‘CAUSE WE’RE ALL PART OF THE MAGIC ! WE’RE MUCH MORE THAN MUNDANE ! WE’RE ALL PART OF THE MAGIC ! THE MAGIC OF HELPING TO ENTERTAIN

GRUNCH ! WHEN I WAS AN ANGRY GRUNCH I NEVER REALLY ONLYKNEW ! BEING PART OF SHOWS LIKE THIS IS WHAT I’D WANT TO DO ! EVERY KID HELPS EVERY KID, NO MATTER HOW BIZARRE ! AND EVEN LONELY GRUMPS LIKE ME DISCOVER WHO THEY ARE

ALL ! EVERY TIME THAT WE TELL A STORY ! EVERY TIME WE EXPLORE A THEME ! ALL TOGETHER WE AIM FOR GLORY ! BETTER YET WE BECOME A TEAM!

! ALTHOUGH THERE’S MANY DIFF’RENT WAYS TO TELL A STORY ! WE HOPE THIS ONE HAS MADE YOU FEEL

! THAT YOU’RE ALL PART OF THE MAGIC ! YOU’RE MUCH MORE THAN MUNDANE ! WE’RE ALL PART OF THE MAGIC ! THE MAGIC OF HELPING TO ENTERTAIN !!PERUSAL HARPER ! THE MAGIC OF HELPING TO ENTERTAIN

! (The whole cast looks up over the audience. Blackout.)

THE END

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Part 3: Actor Book Preview

In the following pages you will ﬁnd a few sample pages of the The Grunch Actor Book.

The Actor Book contains the script and vocal score, seamlessly integrated. This allows kids to develop the important skill of reading music, in additional to making rehearsals run without a hitch.

The Actor Book also includes a 12-page introduction to musical theatre.

Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573 The Grunch - Actor Book

!!!!SCENE 1 !!!!(On the campus of WHOOVER ACADEMY. It’s the ﬁrst day !!!!of school. HARPER and JAYDEN enter from opposite sides !!!!of the stage. HARPER is carrying a large binder of playbills !!!!and wearing large, over-the-ear headphones. JAYDEN runs !!!!up to HARPER when she notices him.)

!!JAYDEN What’s up Harper?! How was your summer?

! (HARPER nods to the music, not hearing her. JAYDEN mistakenly thinks he’s nodding to her.)

!! ! JAYDEN Did your family take your annual road trip around the country checking out musicals?

! (HARPER nods to the music.)

!!JAYDEN That’s awesome...I wish I could’ve gone. I bet you guys saw the touring production of WICKED?

! (HARPER nods to the music.)

!!JAYDEN Aww, you’re SO lucky! Did your mom buy you the 5th Anniversary Special Edition CD?

! ! JAYDEN Well, glad to see you haven’t changed.

!!HARPER You gotta see my newest signed playbill...

!!JAYDEN Whoa...so how many playbills does that make now?

!!HARPER Thirteen...hundred! ! (RUDY GRUNCH, a grumpy 6th grader, saunters by.) 12

Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573 The Grunch - Actor Book !!JAYDEN Grunch! You gotta check this out.... ! (They show him the binder.)

!!GRUNCH Eh....So, wait. You’re telling me that you spent the WHOLE summer driving around the country watching musicals?

!!JAYDEN Yea, isn’t Harper the luckiest?!

!!GRUNCH More like the lamest. Sounds like torture to me! Why couldn’t you spend your summer like a normal kid, Facebooking, playing video games, hanging out by the pool?

! (HARPER grabs GRUNCH by the shoulders and walks him downstage.)

!!HARPER Oh, Grunch, you justOnly don’t understand. the Theatre for Me 2

GRUNCH: ... Why couldn't you spend your summer like a normal kid, Facebook-ing, playing video games, hanging out by the pool? Music by DENVER CASADO Lyrics by BETINA HERSHEY HARPER: OnlyOh Grunch, the you just don't understand.Theatre for Me = 140 Energetic q HARPER: 4 ∑ ∑ ∑ ∑ j j Œ & 4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ All sum mer- long while you're stuck at theœ pool, 7 j Ó j j & œ œ œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ I'm sing -ing Broad - way allœ day.˙ Pract - ic - ing lines get - ting 10 ‰ j ‰ & œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ j read y- forœ school, whereœ I'll be reœ hears- - ing theœ next Whoo ver- play. 'Causeœ

13 1/2 Time Rock Groove œ œ œ œ œ œ j Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ j & œ œ œ œ™ J œ I come a live- in the spot - light! Whenœ theœ cur - tain goes up things 16 j j œ œ ‰ j j j j ‰ & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ feel right! So you spend your sum mer- how- ev -er you please, but it's only the thea tre- for

(The CURTAIN opens to reveal the COLLIN: A thespian is ALWAYS ready!!! 13 entire WHOOVER DRAMA GROUP, arriving for their ﬁrst day of school.) JAMIE: I’ve totally been following all the latest costume trends from Paris.!! Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573LESLIE: I watched every Meryl Streep movie they have on NetFlix. HARPER: Hey everyone! You guys all ready for this year’s show?!! GRUNCH: That’s my cue...have fun “pretending” guys. !! DRAMA GROUP: Yeah! Whoo hoo! etc.!! HARPER: Grunch, c’mon! You gotta join the club this year... ! it’s going to be amazing!

20 [VAMP] & ™ ŒÓ ∑ ™ ™ ∑ ∑ ™ ∑ ∑ me.œ

= 140 Energetic q HARPER: 4 ∑ ∑ ∑ ∑ j j Œ & 4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ All sum mer- long while you're stuck at theœ pool, 7 j Ó j j & œ œ œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ I'm sing -ing Broad - way allœ day.˙ Pract - ic - ing lines get - ting 10 ‰ j ‰ & œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ j read y- forœ school, whereœ I'll be reœ hears- - ing theœ next Whoo ver- play. 'Causeœ

(The CURTAIN opens to reveal the COLLIN: A thespian is ALWAYS ready!!! entire WHOOVER DRAMA GROUP, arriving for their ﬁrst day of school.) JAMIE: I’ve totally been following all the latest costume trends from Paris.!! LESLIE: I watched every Meryl Streep movie they have on NetFlix. HARPER: Hey everyone! You guys all ready for this year’s show?!! GRUNCH: That’s my cue...have fun “pretending” guys. !! DRAMA GROUP: Yeah! Whoo hoo! etc.!! HARPER: Grunch, c’mon! You gotta join the clubThe this Grunch year... - Actor Book ! it’s going to be amazing!

20 [VAMP] & ™ ŒÓ ∑ ™ ™ ∑ ∑ ™ ∑ ∑ me.œ

! (The CURTAIN opens to reveal the entire WHOOVER DRAMA GROUP, arriving for their ! ﬁrst day of school. HARPER and JAYDEN interact with each group as the song ! progresses, dragging GRUNCH along.)

!!HARPER Music and Lyrics © 2012 Denver Casado & Betina Hershey Arrangements © 2012 Denver Casado | www.bbbpress.com Hey everyone! You guysUnauthorized all ready duplicatedfor this year’sis prohibited show?! by law. All rights reserved.

!!DRAMA GROUP Yeah! Whoo hoo! etc.

! ! COLLIN (Obsessed with Shakespeare.) A thespian is ALWAYS ready!

!!JAMIE (The costume designer.) I’ve totally been tracking all the latest costume trends from Paris.

!!LESLIE (The leading lady.) I watched every Meryl Streep movie they have on NetFlix.

!!GRUNCH ! (Walking off.) That’s my cue...have fun “pretending” guys.

!!HARPER ! (Grabbing him and bringing him back.) Grunch, c’mon! You gotta join the club this year...it’s going to be amazing!

26 DRAMA GROUP: j ‰ Œ j Ó & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ j ˙ Pic ture- the au -di ence- up on theirœ feet, yell - ing and clap - ping forœ more.

30 j j ‰ & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ œ Pic ture- your heart how it's skip -ping œ a beat, you'reœ right where youœ wan ted toœ be

33 ‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ j j ‰ & œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ™ œ yeah youœ soar. œ 'Causeœ we come a live- in the spot - light. Whenœ theœ 36 14 œ œ œ œ œ œ j j j ‰ & J œ œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ œ cur - tain goes up things feel right. œIf you wanna skip it wellœ weœ Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573 39 JAYDEN: ŒÓ œ œ œ œ œ & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ won't make a fuss, but it's only the thea tre- for us! Me I love all the

43 RACHEL & ALLEN: œ œ œb œ œ œ œ œ œ & œ J ‰ œ œ œ œ ˙™ Œ œ œ œ joy of dis cov- - er - ing How our char act- ers- feel. We build sets foc - us

47 COLLIN: œ œ œ œb œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ & œ œ œ ˙ lights while un cov- - er - ing what makes thea tre-seem real. Shakes peare's- wisdom to

51 LESLIE & JAVIER: JAMIE: œb œ j j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ j j j ‰ j & œ ˙™ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ be or not to be. Yeah, that makes me complete. The people sit there star - ing, while

ALEX, ISADORA, 56 CHRIS: j & œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ ‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ all of us are shar - ing, a song and dance so

59 ALL: 3 œ w w # & ˙ Œ œ œ œ œ œ # daring, real like just can't com - pete! 2 THE GRUNCH - ePerusal

PART 4: DIRECTOR BOOK PREVIEW

The following is a 3-page preview of the Director Book that comes with each Production Kit.

The Director Book is a comprehensive guide to casting, sets, props and costumes. Plus it contains the entire Actor Book (script and vocal score) with margin notes of directing tips, choreography suggestions and music cues.

Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573 PROPS All props in the show are easy to ﬁnd everyday items or common items in the theater.

PROP TABLE A property table should be located off-stage and organized by labeling props by the scene in which it is used. This ensures that props are present in the same location before every performance and are easily accessible to the actors for their usage. Organize the prop table with masking tape by making a grid on the table and labeling each square with a scene number. Communicate to your cast that only the actors who use a prop during a scene shoud be touching a prop backstage.

PLAYBILLS Search online images of playbill covers, print them and insert them into binder sleeves.

PROP SUGGESTIONS Scene 1: Whoover Academy Playbill binder Playbills Over-the-ear headphones Shakespearean prop: head/skull (from science department) Costume or high fashion magazines (for Jamie)

Scene 2: Grunch’s Lair (Gymnasium) A variety of balls Trash - soda cans, cups, straws, paper napkins

Scene 3: Drama class Backpacks Binders Clipboard Whoover Academy Handbook Mini keyboard or toy piano

Scene 4: Subway station newspapers cellphone

Scene 5: Drama class Backpacks Binders Clipboard Lighting gels Fabric samples Head sets Mini keyboard or toy piano Cell phone Optional - props typically found in the theatre: black binders, canes, shields, swords, wands, handkerchief, boas, ﬂags

Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573 The Grunch - Actor Book

!!!!SCENE 1 !!!!(On the campus of WHOOVER ACADEMY. It’s the ﬁrst day !!!!of school. HARPER and JAYDEN enter from opposite sides !!!!of the stage. HARPER is carrying a large binder of playbills Music Cue - TRACK 1 !!!!and wearing large, over-the-ear headphones. JAYDEN runs Cue - House lights down. End Cue - Lights up. !!!!up to HARPER when she notices him.)

!!JAYDEN What’s up Harper?! How was your summer?

! (HARPER nods to the music, not hearing her. JAYDEN mistakenly thinks he’s nodding to her.) Director’s Note !! ! JAYDEN Encourage HARPER to give Did your family take your annual road trip around the country checking out musicals? distinct nodding motions after each question, but make sure he never notices JAYDEN. ! (HARPER nods to the music.)

!!JAYDEN That’s awesome...I wish I could’ve gone. I bet you guys saw the touring production of WICKED?

! (HARPER nods to the music.)

!!JAYDEN Aww, you’re SO lucky! Did your mom buy you the 5th Anniversary Special Edition CD?

! ! JAYDEN Well, glad to see you haven’t changed.

!!HARPER You gotta see my newest signed playbill...

!!JAYDEN Whoa...so how many playbills does that make now?

!!HARPER Thirteen...hundred! ! (RUDY GRUNCH, a grumpy 6th grader, saunters by.) 12

Upstage

Stage Left

Stage Right

Downstage

Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573 The Grunch - Actor Book !!JAYDEN Grunch! You gotta check this out.... ! (They show him the binder.)

!!GRUNCH Eh....So, wait. You’re telling me that you spent the WHOLE summer driving around the country watching musicals?

!!JAYDEN Yea, isn’t Harper the luckiest?!

!!GRUNCH More like the lamest. Sounds like torture to me! Why couldn’t you spend your summer like a Music Cue - TRACK 2 normal kid, Facebooking, playing video games, hanging out by the pool? Cue - [“...video games, hanging out by the pool?”] ! (HARPER grabs GRUNCH by the shoulders and walks him downstage.)

!!HARPER Oh, Grunch, you just don’t understand. Only the Theatre for Me = 140 Energetic q HARPER: 4 ∑ ∑ ∑ ∑ j j Œ & 4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ All sum -mer long while you're stuck at theœ pool, 7 j Ó j j & œ œ œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ I'm sing - ing Broad - way allœ day.˙ Pract - ic - ing lines get - ting 10 ‰ j ‰ & œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ j read - y forœ school, whereœ I'll be reœ - hears - ing theœ next Whoo -ver play. 'Causeœ

13 1/2 Time Rock Groove œ œ œ œ œ j œ œ œ œ œ j Choreography Note & œ œ œ œ œ™ Œ œ At “I come alive in the...” have œ œ J œ HARPER break away from I come a - live in the spot - light! When the cur - tain goes up things GRUNCH into his own Broadway fantasy world. 16 j j œ œ ‰ j j j j ‰ & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ feel right! So you spend your sum - mer how - ev - er you please, but it's on - ly the thea - tre for 13

Upstage

Stage Left

Stage Right

Downstage

Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573 THE GRUNCH - ePerusal TESTIMONIALS

I am love with this show. -Marc Tumminelli, Broadway Workshop (New York, NY)

Many parents and teachers commented that The Grunch was their favorite of all the musicals we have done. As for me, I loved the comedy, the catchy melodies, and especially the positive message and emotions that all of us were steeped in for weeks throughout the rehearsal period. Your heart-warming musical brought out the best in all of us, and we were proud to share such an uplifting story with our friends and families. I am deeply grateful to all of you at Beat by Beat Press for providing our school with the quality material with which to create exactly the kind of empowering theatrical experiences that we most want to share with our students! - Emily Kritzer, Reed Elementary School (San Jose, CA)

Photos: The Garden Players, Broadway Workshop

Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573 THE GRUNCH - ePerusal BRING THE GRUNCH TO YOUR COMMUNITY

Beat by Beat Press gives you everything you need to make THE GRUNCH a memorable hit show!

Actor Book Vocal CD Script with integrated vocal Professionally recorded vocal score. tracks of every single song.

Director Book Video Recording License Guide to everything from Legally record and share your casting to curtain call. production, worry-free.

Piano-Vocal Score Copy License Clearly formatted with dialogue Make as many script copies as cues. you need for your cast and crew.

Accompaniment CD Logo Pack Fully orchestrated and perfectly Attract audiences and sponsors sync’d with the script. with these pre-made logo designs.

All materials are provided electronically except the Accompaniment CD & Vocal CD.

Production Kit $655 only $299

Accredited schools receive a one-week performance license included in their $299 production kit. All other organizations are subject to a $90 per performance royalty fee.

Get started on your production by ordering a Production Kit today at: www.bbbpress.com/store

Purchased by Donna Cotterell, [email protected] #9371573