Ultimate Sleep Guide ebook Ultimate Sleep Guide ebook
Baby Sleep Safe sleep and settling...... 4 Routines...... 16 Sleep aid reviews...... 23 Expert advice...... 32 Toddler Sleep General advice...... 38 Routines...... 45 Sleep aid reviews...... 48 Ultimate Sleep Guide Baby Sleep BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING Everything you need to know about safe sleep for babies
By Nina Young
It can be confusing to cut through the noise and misinformation, but here are the facts you need to know about infant sleep.
Ensuring your precious bundle of joy is safe while they’re Sleeping bags are a great option, with added layers on sleeping is one of the most important things you will do as baby’s arms when needed. The best way to dress your a parent. It can also be helpful to remind ourselves of the baby for bed is a number of tightly-fitted layers that can be facts around putting babies to sleep safely. added or removed as needed through the night. Let’s get started with the basics. Pillows? Blankets? Putting baby down for a sleep Newborn babies don’t need to lie with their head on a pillow until they are at least 12 months of age (and many Red Nose advises the following to reduce the chances of don’t until preschool age or older). Lying on a pillow Sudden Unexpected Death in Infancy (SUDI): can interfere with the correct posture of their neck and • Sleep baby on its back back and is not recommended. Pillows are also not recommended to help prevent SIDS. If you want your • Keep head and face uncovered baby’s head to be tilted up (for example as part of treating reflux), you will need to tilt the whole cot, or place pillows • Keep baby smoke free before and after birth or rolled towels under the top part of the mattress, • Safe sleeping environment night and day to slightly tilt the whole mattress. Speak to a medical professional before doing this. • Sleep baby in a safe cot in parents’ room (ideally for the first six to 12 months of life) NOTE: Red Nose Australia currently recommends that pillows, quilts, doonas, duvets, cot bumpers and lambskins • Breastfeed baby if possible should not be used as part of your baby’s bedding. Soft and fluffy bedding is unnecessary and may cover your baby’s Dressing for bed face and make breathing difficult. Babies regulate their body temperature through their If using blankets in your bub’s bed they should be tucked in heads, so the most important thing is that they are put to and not loose in the bed where they could cover your bub’s sleep on their backs with their face and head uncovered (so face. that’s a no to hats in bed).
4 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING Room temperature For further details about cot measurements, see the Australian Government’s Product Safety website at www. For both children and babies, a safe sleeping environment productsafety.gov.au. is between 18 and 22 degrees. It is worth investing in a room thermometer or a baby monitor that has one built in Old or second hand cots may be dangerous. Never place for peace of mind. your baby in a cot that does not definitely meet current safety standards. However, on nights that are expected to drop below 18 degrees, an additional layer of clothing or blankets (for Picking a bassinet older children) should suffice. On nights that are expected to reach temperatures above 22 degrees, fewer layers or a According to Red Nose: fan to circulate the warmer air can also be helpful. It may have been suggested by family and friends that you sleep baby in a bassinet in the first couple of months, Picking a cot before baby becomes active and starts to roll, for some According to Red Nose: sleep times. Here are some things to consider when weighing up this suggestion. A safe cot is one that meets the Australian Standard for cots. All new and second-hand cots sold in Australia must As there is no Australian standard for bassinets, we are meet the current Australian and New Zealand Standard for careful to keep up to date with reports of accidents Cots (AS/NZS 2172:2003) and will carry a label to say so. associated with their use. To date, the most frequent If you are planning to use a second-hand cot, check that it accidents associated with bassinet use are falls and meets those standards. suffocation hazards. The Australian government draws on these reports and produces guidelines on ways to Only use a single, firm, mattress that fits snugly (within 20 reduce these types of accidents, which are available on mm of sides and ends) into the cot. The mattress must be the Australian government’s product safety website. flat (not tilted or elevated). Do not use cot bumpers or soft Further information from the ACCC is also available in bedding as these have been associated with fatal sleep their publication ‘Keeping baby safe - a guide to infant and accidents. nursery products’.
5 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE 5 ways to create healthy sleep habits from birth
By Francesca Kendall
From early risers to late sleepers and the ones that just don’t want to sleep - infant sleep expert Francesca Kendall shares her top tips for creating healthy sleep habits from birth.
For many parents, sleep and children are just a combination Correct sleeping bag: Check you are sleeping them in that doesn’t mix. While some may credit their good the appropriate and correct TOG sleeping bag as per snoozer to ‘pot luck’, there are a few things you can do the climate you live. Based on typical Australian weather to encourage healthy sleep habits from the moment your in winter, I suggest for a night below 16 degrees: a vest/ baby is born. singlet, 1.0 bodysuit and 3.5 tog sleeping bag. Francesca Kendall, Baby and Infant Sleep Expert and For our late sleepers Founder of The Sleep Escape, shares five helpful and easy tips to follow to ensure the whole family is getting enough Last nap: Check their last nap isn’t too late in the day, Z’s (right through the year). or too long at the end of the day. The drive to sleep will significantly reduce with the above factors, meaning From newborn to three weeks, sleep babies in the daylight bedtimes ends up being pushed out. Check your current for their naps, and in darkness for overnight sleeping to routine with my suggested programs that are created activate their circadian rhythm in a positive way. BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING based on nap timings and durations that your little one needs as per their neurological age. White noise: White noise turns on the calming reflex for a baby, blocking out sudden unwanted noises around the Room temperature: Room temperature control is hard house and allows babies to feel secure as they connect to perfect and something that I find worries parents a lot through sleep cycles. White noise is a positive sleep during winter. It often depends on the climate the specific association so can be used for as long as you want. baby is used to, the efficiency on air con units, the clothing the baby is wearing and much more. Typically, parents : From week three onwards, sleep your little Dark room tend to believe they need to make their babies room ‘cosy’ one in a space that is darkened to activate their melatonin during winter, but like us as adult sleepers, babies sleep (sleepy hormone) so that they receive a more restorative better in slightly cooler temperatures of around 18-22 sleep. As they grow older have as many of their naps in as degrees. dark room as possible to enhance the quality of their sleep to ensure better sleeping overnight. A baby will let you know by crying if they are too cold, however, they are not as good at communicating they are : Between 6-7pm depending on the age of Early bedtime too hot, so from my perspective, I believe it’s beneficial your baby. Their melatonin starts to rise at this time and to start out on the cooler side of 18 degrees and adjust their cortisol starts lowering between 6pm-12am meaning accordingly up to 22 degrees to figure out what your baby they will receive quality sleep between these hours, which likes to sleep in. will help the second part of the nights sleep better. I recommend beginning this habit with newborns too as their As per the Red Nose guidelines, feeling a baby’s chest, melatonin level is also the same at this time as an older tummy, and back to make sure they feel warm, is a good baby so they are going to be less fussy, but understanding indication of the room temp required. Accredited baby this early bedtime might not be achievable every night in sleepwear companies Ergopouch and The Gro company the early days as you are getting to know your baby. have great informative guides around what to sleep your baby in according to the climate you live in and they can be (70-80 percent of the time): For Feed play and sleep easily followed as the seasons change throughout the year. babies 4-6 weeks plus, creating this will reduce the risk of a ‘feed to sleep’ association being created. General tips for healthy sleep habits in kids Tips for the early risers Oil panel heaters are a safe way to heat your little ones room, and for peace of mind (which is what all parents : This allows for their melatonin to Dark room until 7am want), purchasing an auto one that turns on when the room maintain a higher level to keep them asleep. temp is 18 degrees or lower and turns off when its above 22 Check room temperature: between 2 and 7am is when degrees. their cortisol (awake hormone) begins to rise for the day, Don’t judge the sleepwear required from baby monitors. so they could easily be woken from being too cold when These tend to be inaccurate by a few degrees (which can the outside temperature is at its coldest as well. An ideal make all of the difference) and typically parents place temperature should be 18-22 degrees overnight. them higher than the baby’s cot/bassinet meaning they read higher temps than what the baby is experiencing a bit lower. Purchase a thermometer instead.
6 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE 5 common white noise mistakes to avoid for baby sleep
By Dr Harvey Karp
Did you know not all white noise is created equal?
White noise — which is a mix of different pitches of sounds blended together to make a shushy, consistent noise — is a wonderful tool to soothe a baby’s fussing and boost sleep. But there are some common misunderstandings about how to use it. Make sure you don’t fall for these five common white noise mistakes! 1. Not using white noise for newborn sleep When you bring home your little bundle, your first instinct might be to make their sleeping space as quiet as possible … but a pin-drop silent room is going to feel very unnatural for your little one. They’ve just spent nine long months in a bustling womb, where they’re surrounded by a constant, BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING loud whooshing sound. This steady shushing is one of the 5 S’s that replicate womb-like sensations and turn on a newborn’s calming reflex to soothe fussing during the fourth trimester. 4. Believing that babies age out of white noise 2. Playing white noise as softly as possible Don’t stop using white noise after you make it out of the When your baby cries, you have to: 1) turn on the calming fourth trimester. Baby sleep can really fall apart in those reflex, and 2) keep it turned on. To turn it on, use a strong later months after the calming reflex fades away. That’s sound that’s as loud as the crying. Vacuum cleaners groan because as babies get older, they get more social, so when at 75 dB and hair dryers roar at 90 dB, but your baby’s they hear a noise in the middle of the night, they may wake wails take the cake at 100 dB… or more! No wonder quiet up thinking, “Is it time to play?” Plus, you’ll have new pearly shushing rarely calms screaming. Babies are so loud they whites to contend with once you hit the four-month mark can’t even hear us. and beyond — teething pain can really disrupt your child’s zzz’s. Once the fussing starts to settle, keep the calming reflex engaged by playing a rumbly sound, about the intensity of And, as your baby becomes more mobile, you’ll have to a gentle shower (65 to 70 dB). (SNOO can help take the wean from swaddling (another one of the 5 S’s) … so in guesswork out of white noise—this responsive baby bed the absence of one comforting sleep cue, it’s helpful to automatically boosts the noise during crying bouts and continue using others (like white noise). White noise can lowers it to a low, rumbly sound as babies calm). help you sidestep all of these problems by masking outside noises as well as inside distractions (think: throbbing gums, 3. Thinking all white noise sounds are a stuffy nose, slight hunger). the same 5. Using white noise all day long People tend to talk about white noise as though it’s just Using white noise just for sleep helps your baby make one thing. But there are two main types of white noise – the connection between that low, rumbly sound and the high pitch and low pitch – and they have totally opposite pleasure of sleep, while hearing the normal home sounds effects. High-pitch white noise is harsh, hissy, whiney, and — for hours a day — will allow your little one to master the annoying … it’s the stuff of sirens and screams. It’s a great nuances of all the interesting sounds around them, such as sound for getting your attention but it’s terrible for sleep. speech, music and so forth. So white noise should really be Low-pitched white noise is droning and hypnotic — think reserved for sleep. the monotonous rumble of an airplane or rain on the windowpane. While that sound certainly won’t grab your Dr. Harvey Karp is the founder of Happiest Baby and attention, it’s amazing for lulling us to sleep. one of America’s most trusted paediatricians. His highly innovative and celebrated books/videos, The Happiest Baby Furthermore, continuous sounds, like hair dryers or rain on the Block, The Happiest Toddler on the Block and The on the roof, are better than a heartbeat, ocean waves and Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep have been translated nature noises. (For a white noise machine that features into dozens of languages and have made him one of the doctor-designed sounds specially designed for sleep, check world’s most renowned baby and sleep experts. Dr. Karp’s out SNOObear.) breakthrough discoveries —the calming reflex, the 5 S’s and Toddler-ese — have benefited millions of parents and are taught by thousands of specially trained educators in over 20 nations. 7 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Swaddling 101 - everything new mums need to know
By Dr Harvey Karp
Swaddling is a tried and true way of calming babies and boosting their sleep.
Parents have been swaddling for centuries because it’s so effective. The Basics of the 5 S’s Method for The reason that swaddling works so well is because infants Soothing Babies sleep best when we recreate the sensations they loved 1. The 1st S: Swaddle for nine months in the womb. And swaddling emulates the snug embrace they enjoyed by the velvet walls of the Swaddling recreates the snug packaging inside the uterus. Many parents have complained that swaddling is womb and is the cornerstone of calming. It decreases confusing, but luckily, the days of intricate origami baby startling and increases sleep. And, wrapped babies wrapping is ancient history! respond faster to the other 4 S’s and stay soothed longer because their arms can’t wriggle around. To When to start swaddling swaddle correctly, wrap arms snug—straight at the Since swaddling imitates one of the soothing sensations side—but let the hips be loose and flexed. Use a large of the womb, it can helpful right away! In fact, the more square blanket, but don’t overheat, cover your baby’s BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING you use it the more your baby will start to associate it with head or allow unraveling. Note: Babies shouldn’t be sleep which is just what everyone wants. Swaddling also swaddled all day, just during fussing and sleep. boosts sleep by preventing the startle reflex, which can 2. The 2nd S: Side or Stomach Position often jolt babies awake. The back is the only safe position for sleeping, but it’s Your baby may initially resist swaddling, but that doesn’t the worst position for calming fussiness. This S can mean they should have their hands free. In fact, it means be activated by holding a baby on her side, on her the opposite. Newborns fight swaddling because they don’t stomach or over your shoulder. You’ll see your baby have great control of their arms yet. (That’s why almost all mellow in no time. cultures around the world wrap babies - arms down.) 3. The 3rd S: Shush How long should you swaddle for? Contrary to myth, babies don’t need total silence to For the first four to five months of life, it’s best to swaddle sleep. In the womb, the sound of the blood flow is a with the arms at the sides. shush louder than a vacuum cleaner! But, not all white Once your baby starts to roll (around two to three months) noise is created equal. Hissy fans and ocean sounds it is important to start weaning. This is because stomach often fail because they lack the womb’s rumbly quality. sleeping babies can’t push up and roll over very easily The best way to imitate these magic sounds is white when they are swaddled, leading to a higher risk of “face- noise. Happiest Baby’s CD / Mp3 has 6 specially planting” in the mattress, which can even lead to death. engineered sounds to calm crying and boost sleep.
To wean your baby from swaddling, begin by swaddling 4. The 4th S: Swing normally, but leaving one arm out. (The Sleepea swaddle Life in the womb is very jiggly. (Imagine your baby features arm holes to allow one or both arms out, while bopping around inside your belly when you jaunt down avoiding the risk of the unravelling of the blanket that might the stairs!) While slow rocking is fine for keeping quiet cover the baby’s face.) Once your baby is comfortably babies calm, you need to use fast, tiny motions to sleeping with one arm out, you can transition to both arms… soothe a crying infant mid-squawk. My patients call and eventually no swaddle! (White noise and a lovey may this movement the “Jell-O head jiggle.” To do it, always help your baby sleep better over the months - and even support the head/neck, keep your motions small; and years – after you wean the swaddling.) move no more than 1 inch back and forth. I really advise watching the DVD to make sure you get it right. (For But, my child hates being swaddled! the safety of your infant, never, ever shake your baby in The biggest mistake parents make with swaddling is giving anger or frustration.) up on it too soon. It’s common for babies to resist wrapping 5. The 5th S: Suck and can cry harder when swaddled, but before birth babies have very little freedom to move the arms. Studies Sucking is “the icing on the cake” of calming. Many show they sleep more soundly when snuggly swaddled, fussy babies relax into a deep tranquility when they especially when it is accompanied by rumbly white noise suck. Many babies calm easier with a pacifier. and safe rocking all night.
8 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE 7 solutions to common baby sleep problems
By Margaret Rafferty
Calm down. Some of the issues might not even need ‘solving’. Top tip Any parent knows the expression ‘sleep like Watch for signs of a baby’ means the opposite of getting a good night’s sleep – we’re talking midnight overtiredness feeds, 2am wake up calls – followed by 4am wake up calls if we’re really lucky. That said, a few months into bub’s life, we usually fall into some kind of rhythm and routine, so when baby suddenly decides to mix it up and change their patterns – and you find yourself dazed and confused – here’s what might be going on. 1. Overtiredness
BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING Babies often get over excited and overstimulated if their window of sleep time is missed, says Caroline McMahon, a baby sleep specialist from Caroline’s Angels. “This overstimulation reduces their ability to control their body and emotions leading to increased crying, throwing their bodies around, lashing out, tantrums, and a reduced ability to feed well.” constantly changing. You may start to notice that your baby used to settle quickly and now they are taking much Caroline says your baby may display some, or all, of these longer to do so. It may be that their sleeps are now shorter, behaviours when it’s time to wind them down with a gentle or the day sleeps remain exactly the same, but they are sleep time routine: now more difficult to settle in the evening or staying awake for long periods in the middle of the night,” Caroline says. • Rubbing their eyes. She says there are a few key age groups where sleep • Redness around eyes or eyebrows. requirements commonly start to shift: • Pulling at their ears. • Around 8 months of age, babies start to drop to two • Clenched fists. sleeps, with a little longer between their naps.
• Jerky body movements, or in older babies, clumsy • At around 14-16 months of age, they often drop to one movements. day sleep.
• Stiffened arms and legs. • Around two and half years of age, many will drop a few day sleeps per week, or stop them all together. • Grimace or frown on their face.
• Disengaging from eye contact, staring or becoming 3. You’ve changed their routine and they glassy-eyed. are not ‘feeling it’ Decided it’s time to teach them to self-settle rather than • A low, monotonous, grizzle. let them drift off in your arms and bubs is having none of • Becoming clingy, noisy, uncooperative or having a it? It’s not necessarily the routine they have an issue with, it tantrum. may well be how you are going about it.
• Becoming more easily frustrated with what they are “When parents decide their child’s sleeping habits are doing. disruptive to the whole family, or that the child is not the best version of themselves it’s far more likely to be 2. They’re not tired enough a successful transition if your new routine is introduced slowly, allowing your child time to adapt to changes,” she Conversely, sometimes babies suddenly struggle to sleep says. because their sleeping habits are changing, and they now require less slumber. “Sleep needs are dynamic and
9 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE 4. Teething 6. Hunger Between birth and three years of age, your baby is going to Newborns have very small tummies, and breastmilk is sprout a mouthful of new teeth which will make their way digested relatively quickly, which is one of the reasons they through tender little gums, creating pain and discomfort, can’t sleep through the night – hunger will wake them up. which is not conducive to sleep. A numbing gel, or frozen As they get older, they’ll move to only needing one feed, teething ring to help numb the area can be used though then around six months of age, will be able to get through you shouldn’t leave your baby in a cot unattended with a the night with a feed before bed, and one upon waking. teething ring. For stronger pain, ibuprofen or paracetamol However, just like adults, some days just require more can provide welcome relief. calories than others – they may be experiencing a growth spurt, or perhaps they didn’t eat as much as they usually 5. Illness do, so if they are making their hunger cry, a feed could be all that’s standing between you and a good night’s sleep Whether it’s a case of tummy trouble, or a cold or flu with a for all! side of chills and sniffles, feeling unwell can interrupt sleep - and the resulting overtiredness can compound the problem. Your best bet is to ride it out and accept sleep routines will 7. Milestones need to be reintroduced once the worst has passed. As If your baby has mastered a new skill, they’ll want to well as plenty of cuddles and fluids, suitable baby pain and practice it again and again (and again), meaning when fever relief, and products like vapour rub or a humidifier in you put them down in their cot, rather than rolling over for their room can help clear their sinuses. some sleep, they’re going to get busy trying out their latest trick! They will move on, but your best bet is to give them time to try it out a lot during their play time. BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING
Teething can create pain and discomfort, which is not conducive to sleep.
10 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Top tip There’s no need to tiptoe!
The top 5 misconceptions parents
BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING have about baby sleep
By Claire Haiek You may need to sit down for some of these!
Nothing frustrates both new and seasoned parents alike as Well, Dr Karp admits there is an element of truth to it, but much as the old elusive thing we call ‘sleep’. it’s not all true.
So desperate are parents to take a trip to the land of nod, “We should never tell people NOT to rock your baby to they’ll believe (and try) almost anything. But what’s true sleep or nurse your baby to sleep. It’s the most beautiful and what’s not? thing to do,” said Dr Karp.
We spoke to Dr Harvey Karp, a leading paediatrician with “But you should wake your baby up a little when you put over 25 years’ experience, who generously shared some the baby down. In other words, don’t just ease them into of his top sleep secrets, as well as helped to set straight the bassinet and back away quietly.” some of the biggest misconceptions when it comes to that magical S-word. In short, you want to disturb your baby just enough so that they will drift off to sleep on their own. 1. You need to tiptoe 3. There’s a ‘normal way’ for your baby “It turns out the sounds inside the womb are louder than a vacuum cleaner, 24-7,” Dr Karp told Kidspot. to sleep When you think about it, a baby is pretty happy inside the “It’s the rhythmic sounds of the blood rushing through the womb, all curled up into a tight little ball, being rocked placenta and blood vessels, and so quiet is actually very about almost all the time by your diaphragm as you unnerving for babies. That’s why so many people use white breathe, surrounded by loud noises. So what do we do noise machines and apps and things like that.” when they’re born?
So while our instinct may be to keep quiet, (hey, we all We stretch them out, swaddle them up and lie them on a know how painful it can be when you’ve just put the baby big, flat mattress to go to sleep. down for a nap and someone or something wakes them up), Dr Karp pointed out that there’s really no need since “That couldn’t be more foreign for the baby,” said Dr Karp, the baby should naturally be accustomed to the loud noises who said it’s “sensory deprivation”. of the womb. By all means, putting a baby to sleep on their backs is the 2. You can’t rock your baby to sleep safest position, but it can be very unsettling with so many changes for a baby from the way they sleep inside the You know how everyone tells you that you should never womb to how they do outside of it. rock your baby to sleep? There’s a theory that it will ‘create a rod for your back’ by providing a crutch for your baby they will rely on until they’re 38 years old and/or they move out of home.
11 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Top tip Babies never sleep through BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING 4. Babies should sleep through 5. You shouldn’t need outside help Another common misconception Dr Karp pointed out was “The truth is up until a hundred years ago every family had the expectation that babies should be sleeping through the five nannies,” said Dr Karp. night. And he’s right - we all know that saying “it takes a village to “Babies never sleep through the night, children never sleep raise a child”. Back in those days, mums would have a range through the night and adults never sleep through the of women to help them out, from sisters, grandmothers and night,” he said. aunts to the neighbour and their older daughter.
“We ALL wake two or three times a night.” “Nowadays in Australia, women are sent out of the hospital after they have their baby, often in the first 24 hours to go Dr Karp explains that if the settings are just right, we all home and do it all on their own,” he said. drift back off to sleep again without even remembering you had woken up. It’s the same for babies, so it’s not about “If you’re lucky you’ve got your in-laws or you mum to help making them sleep through the night, but creating the you, but most people don’t have that support and here’s perfect environment for them to settle again without much the terrible thing: They don’t think they deserve it.” fuss. While he does recommend his product, a responsive bassinet called the Snoo, we can still achieve this by The new normal has become for a woman and/or her following his suggestions. partner to take it all on, often alongside other commitments like returning to work or running a business. Wake your baby slightly as you put them down so that when they wake, they environment is the same as when “That is why we’re now seeing so much postnatal they went to sleep. depression and exhaustion and frustration and anxiety. Women are being lied to, they’re doing something that no Remember, it’s not about your baby sleeping through the women ever did in the history of humanity which is to do it night, but rather than creating an environment in which all on her own.” they will settle again easily. Exhaustion really is a popular discussion topic in mothers groups and online parenting forums, and it probably will be for a long time to come. Dr Karp’s goal is to solve the number one complaint of new parents, which is sleep deprivation. As much as 50 percent of parents sleep six hours or less, which causes the same mental impairment as being drunk.
Simply by adjusting our expectations and understanding some common misconceptions, we can hopefully get one step closer to not sleeping through the night, but settling back in easier when we do wake.
12 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE How to prevent bad sleeping habits (and undo any your baby has learnt)
By Dr Harvey Karp
If you feel as though you may have set yourself up for a future of broken sleep, fear not!
If you’re expecting, you may think your baby will be born asleep longer. These “good” sleep cues are ones that your a good sleeper or a bad sleeper, and there’s little you can baby enjoyed 24-7 up to the moment of birth; that require do about it. Luckily, that’s not true. You can create the little effort on your part; and that are easy to wean by 3-6 conditions for good sleep by following a few simple steps. months, once your baby is more developed. (Note: Safe If your little one’s already arrived—and has picked up some motion means only letting your baby sleep on a fully flat bad habits—take heart. You can reverse the tides! surface. Paediatricians warn parents that deaths have occurred when babies were left to sleep in rockers/swings The very first day of your baby’s life is the best time that seat them enough to allow their heavy heads to roll to introduce healthy sleep habits. Your job is fairly forward on their thin necks.) straightforward. Just follow safe sleep guidelines, use natural sleep cues and give your baby early “practice” You may have heard the saying “never wake a sleeping falling asleep independently. baby”, but actually, I recommend you do it… every time you lay your baby down! I’m a huge fan of a counter-intuitive First, make sure your baby is sleeping in a safe location little technique called wake-and-sleep . and position. That means always on the back and no bulky bedding/toys, no smoking in the house and have the BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING Here’s how to do it: baby right by your bed for the first six months. It is also important to avoid bed sharing and falling asleep with the Before the last feeding of the night, swaddle your baby and baby on a sofa. These are both associated with a major put on strong, rumbly white noise. Then, feed your baby increase in the risk of infant sleep death. and let them drift to sleep in your arms. Then, with the sound still on, transfer them into bed and gently rouse them Those are things not to do, but there are also lots of things until their eyes open. (If she or he fusses, you can jiggle to do to help your baby sleep safer... and better! the crib a bit.) After a few seconds, they’ll drift back to sleep. In that brief moment of drowsy waking, your baby is You’ll want to introduce natural sleep cues that mimic the practicing the ability to fall asleep independently, a skill that calming sensations of the womb. Safe swaddling, shushing will benefit them for years to come. (white noise), swinging (rocking) and sucking—all part of the 5 S’s method—help babies fall asleep faster and stay
13 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Top tip Start good sleep habits immediately BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING
Undoing bad sleep habits 3. White noise. White noise is a super helpful sleep cue through the entire first year and well beyond. It drowns If your baby is sleeping poorly, you’re not alone. A large poll out external distractions, like TV sounds from the next of new parents found that: room or passing trucks, as well as internal distractions, • 60 percent of infants are rocked to sleep by their parents like mild teething and hunger. That’s why it often helps babies wake less often. • 75 percent of infants fall asleep every night nursing or drinking a bottle 4. Dummies. Sucking is a wonderful comfort to trigger your baby’s calming reflex. And, offering your baby a binky at • Only a third of parents use independence-building sleep bedtime. And, as a bonus, the dummy also lowers the risk cues. of SIDS. It’s a win-win!
The key to avoiding these frustrating problems is often 5. Massage. For new babies, touch is as nutritious as pretty easy. Here’s what I suggest: feeding! A lovely five-minute massage one or two times a day with some warm oil is a brilliant way to show your 1. Wake-and-sleep (described above). In addition to love. I promise it will become one of your favourite baby helping newborns form good habits, this technique helps memories. older babies get back on track. I advise using wake-and- sleep for allnights and naps. Repetition helps new habits 6. Loveys. These cuddly little blankets or soft toys comfort sink in. babies in their parents’ absence. Loveys are safe for babies over nine months (before that, nothing but a 2. Swaddle snugly, arms down. For young babies, dummy should be in bed with your baby) and can help swaddling—arms down—is essential for good sleep. When your baby fall asleep confidently and sleep more soundly left unwrapped, babies often startle themselves awake through the night. Just make sure the lovey you chose is and whack themselves in the face. If your swaddled small (about the size of your hand), has no bits like plastic baby is still waking a lot, it’s likely because she or he can eyes or strips of fabric that can be pulled off and become wriggle their arms free or because you are not using choking hazards. the right type of white noise. Paediatricians currently recommend that parents stop wrapping once the baby You’ll still want to cuddle and hold your baby as part of can roll. (Note: Smart sleepers, like SNOO, prevent your bedtime and naptime routines, of course. Your quiet accidental rolling and allow you to swaddle your baby time together is perfect for bonding and sharing your love. with total confidence.) Adding in steps that nurture independent sleeping will begin to grow your baby’s belief in his own abilities, which is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give to a child!
14 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Everything you need to know about TOG rating in baby sleepwear
By Francesca Kendall
Baby and infant sleep expert Francesca Kendall explains what thermal overall grade - or TOG - means in baby sleepwear and sleeping bags, and why it’s important to get it right.
When it comes to baby sleepwear and sleeping bags, we 1 TOG = 22-25 degree Celsius days see and hear all about the “TOG” rating. But what does this mean exactly? Best for: mostly spring.
Thermal Overall Grade (or TOG) is used to determine On the higher end of this range, I suggest sleeping them what we should dress our little ones in for day naps and in their 1.0 TOG sleeping bag with a lightweight cotton (or overnight to keep them warm. similar breathable material) vest underneath, and on the lower end, a zip-up bodysuit like those from Bonds, Pure It can cause a lot of worry and confusion amongst new baby (or any other clothing brand you prefer). parents, with so much importance placed on it for a good night’s sleep for the whole family. So, with some help Kidspot recommends these 1 TOG items: from Francesca Kendall, Baby & Infant Sleep Expert, and • Love To Dream Swaddle Up Original Founder of The Sleep Escape, we have put a guide together BABY | SAFE SLEEP & SETTLING on everything you need to know when it comes to the TOG • Grobag Sleeping Bag rating system. • Ergopouch Sleep Onesie What you need to know 2.5 TOG = 16-21 degree Celsius days I suggest having them in specific TOG-rated sleeping bags once rolling as, unlike adults, babies are not very good at Best for: mostly autumn. regulating their body temperature, particularly overnight. On the higher end of this range, I suggest wearing a They do not have the critical thinking skills to kick off a lightweight long sleeve vest underneath their sleeping bag, blanket if too warm, or to add more layering if they are too and on the lower end, a short sleeve body wear vest, with a cold, so having them in a TOG-rated sleeping bag keeps light bodysuit. body temperature constant for them. Kidspot recommends these 2.5 TOG items: Like room temperature, the perfect amount of sleepwear • Love To Dream Sleep Suit and bedding can feel hard to get right, so based on the average Australian climate I have made some • Love To Dream Swaddle Up Warm Organic recommendations to help your little one sleep better. • Ergopouch Cocoon Swaddle Bag
0.2/0.3 TOG = 25+ degree Celsius days Keeping your baby warm is key to a good sleep for all - but (and sometimes nights) make sure you’re doing it safely. Source: iStock Best for: mostly summer. 3.5 TOG = 14-20 degree Celsius days I suggest having them in this very lightweight sleeping Best for: mostly winter. bag, as like most adults, they like something over them while they sleep, and despite being so lightweight, it Our colder winter months, I suggest on the higher end of creates a positive cue that it’s sleep time. Underneath this range dressing your little one in a long sleeve bodysuit this, I recommend they wear a light singlet/short sleeve underneath their sleeping bag, and on the lower end, a long body wear vest with their nappy, or just their nappy on, sleeve vest with a long sleeve bodysuit underneath. particularly hot days. Right now, with nights reaching lows of around 10-12 Kidspot recommends these 0.2/0.3 TOG items: degrees for some of us, I recommend dressing in the same as above - but make sure the room temp is kept between • Ergopouch Cocoon Swaddle Bag 18-22 degrees, particularly in the early hours of the morning • Love To Dream Swaddle Up Transition Bag when they can be easily woken.
• Living Textiles Zip Up Swaddle Kidspot recommends these 3.5 TOG items: • Tommee Tippee Grobag Sleeping Bag
• Ergopouch Sleepsuit Bag
• Grobag Sleeping Bag
15 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Routine for a two to three-week old
By Steph Wu
With many partners heading back to work two or three weeks after their baby is born, it can be an exhilarating and/or nerve-wracking time for many mothers.
In comparison with the first two weeks, things may be Three tips for 2-3 week old sleeping getting a little easier now. All that newness of getting to 1. Give your baby a gentle massage and deep warm bath to know your baby is passing and perhaps you both have a bit relax them if they’re unsettled. of a pattern happening each day. 2. Position your baby’s cot or bassinet next to your bed, but But if not, don’t fret. It can take six weeks or more for don’t co-sleep. mothers to recover from birth and the same amount of time for babies to settle into a feeding and sleeping regime. 3. Expect your baby to go off to sleep in your arms when you’re cuddling them or breastfeeding. There’s a big difference between a predictable routine and the way each day can ebb and flow. And that’s exactly what needs to happen when you’ve got a 2-3 week old baby in Behaviour the house. Your baby might be more awake than they were in the first couple of weeks. If they’ve been jaundiced, had a difficult Although you and your baby have had a couple of weeks birth or came early, then the last 2-3 weeks will have to become accustomed to each other, it’s very early days. provided a little recovery time. Don’t be concerned if you still feel unsure about lots of things. There’s plenty of time to build your confidence. You might find your baby is starting to respond to your voice and focusing on your face when you talk to them. 2-3 week-old baby patterns That little brain is wired to seek attention and engage with you. BABY | ROUTINES That little stomach is only the size of a large egg. It can’t hold much in any one feed and will empty very efficiently, especially if you’re breastfeeding. Supply still equals Three tips for 2-3 week old behaviour demand and this little equation will hold true for however 1. Take the time each day to just sit and hold your baby. long you breastfeed. Their eye gazing, facial grimacing and calming when they hear your voice are all opportunities to build your Feeding emotional connection. Feeding takes a lot of energy and it can be very tiring. Your 2. Listen for your baby’s cries to start changing a little. You baby may fall asleep every time they feed and then wake might be becoming more attuned to the pitch of their when you place them into their cot. Try to encourage your cry and can distinguish between a hunger cry or just a little one to feed actively and strongly when breastfeeding. whinge. This will help to support longer sleeps, which leads to improved feeding – one affects the other. 3. Give your baby supervised tummy time each day. Although they may not be keen, this is an excellent way Three tips for 2-3 week old feeding to build neck and upper body strength. 1. Watch for your baby’s hunger cues. Grizzling, crying, sucking on their fists, mouthing around and looking What’s important 2-3 weeks after birth unhappy are all hunger signs. • Try to do one thing for yourself every day. Read some pages of a book, go for a walk, talk with a friend or just 2. Offer your baby “top-up”breastfeeds if they’re still have a lie down. hungry, but try to avoid snack feeding. The aim is to ensure they are sucking effectively and getting enough • Mothers are great at looking after everyone else but it’s milk in each feed to satisfy them for at least a couple of important you save some energy just for yourself. hours. • Make an appointment with your maternity care provider 3. If you’re bottle feeding, make sure you’re preparing for your six week post-natal check. Even if you feel fine, the formula exactly as the manufacturer recommends. this review can’t be missed. Tummy upsets and constipation can happen if the ratio of powder to water isn’t accurate. • Spend time just sitting down and holding your baby. Find some moments which aren’t around feeding or changing Sleeping but pure enjoyment. You’ll hear it lots of times but it’s true, your baby will grow so quickly and you need to At this age, babies often sleep for longer periods at a treasure these early weeks. couple of their sleep periods each day. You may find your baby has a longer sleep in the morning but is more wakeful • If you have older children, try to include them in the in the afternoon. It’s common for 2-3 week old babies to baby’s cares. Fetching and carrying nappies and clothes, be more wakeful and unsettled in the late afternoon and “helping” with bathing and reading stories are all great evening. opportunities to build sibling relationships.
16 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Routine for a four to six-week old
By Steph Wu
In the first few weeks and months, it’s common for babies to wake for feeds at least two or three times during the night – but don’t worry, this won’t last forever!
It’s still early days but you’ve come some way in getting to Three tips for 4-6 week old sleeping know each other. Your baby has more of a history than just 1. Keep wrapping your baby in a muslin or cotton wrap. their birth and their behaviour may not be so unfamiliar Dress them comfortably underneath the wrap so they to you. Their noises, the way they feed, their patterns of don’t overheat. Keep the wrap loose enough so their legs wakefulness all seem a bit less new. can bend into a normal position. But there will still be times when your 4-6 week old baby 2. Soothe your baby in their cot by patting and shooshing. will respond in ways you’ve not seen before. This is normal. Try to look for their tired signs and give them the chance Every day is an opportunity for growth and for them to to go to sleep on their own. develop skills which need lots of practice to perfect. 3. On rainy, cold days your baby may sleep more. Limit the Focusing their eyes, smiling, grimacing and moving all take light coming into their room by using blinds or curtains. lots of energy and repetition. There will also be days when Even filtered light can be more conducive to sleep than your 4-6 week old doesn’t seem to be doing anything bright sunlight. different. And other days when they’re very busy showing off all their new tricks. Behaviour 4-6 week old baby patterns You will have times when you’re just not sure what your baby wants. They will have found their lungs and there Still lots of sleeping to be had in this 4-6 week period. will be occasions when they’re crying and unsettled. Up When your baby is sleeping they’re growing, releasing
BABY | ROUTINES to three hours of crying a day can be normal in healthy, growth hormones and conserving energy. Of course, your thriving babies of this age. baby may not be very interested in sleep and you feel you’re spending all your days trying to settle them. Don’t take on too much and aim for a simple life. You and your baby are still settling into a routine and no two days Feeding will be exactly the same. Your baby’s sucking may be stronger now. Feeding actively requires a complex series of coordinated processes. Three tips for 4-6 week old behaviour Attaching correctly, sucking, swallowing and pausing may 1. Just accept that some days you won’t get anything else all be natural instincts but babies still need to learn how to done but hold and feed your baby. This is a fact of life feed effectively. with a 4-6 week old in the house.
Breastfeeding is a complex set of skills for a mother and her 2. Use your voice to calm your baby when they’re upset. baby. Be patient if you’re still getting used to it. Gentle holding and rocking work beautifully but your baby’s brain is wired for audio too. The combination Three tips for 4-6 week old feeding of touch, eye contact and your voice will be the most 1. Expect an increase in your baby’s feeds. Many babies effective way to sooth them. have a growth spurt at around 6 weeks and need extra 3. Set up a safe floor space for your baby where you can kilojoules. watch them. There’ll be times when they just want to be 2. If your baby has been satisfied with one sided left alone but aren’t sleepy. breastfeeding until now, they may want to start feeding from both breasts. What’s important 4-6 weeks after birth Don’t exert yourself through vigorous exercise regimes. It 3. More positing and perhaps even small vomits at this age. took you nine months to gain your pregnancy weight and Becoming more mobile is part of the reason why, as well for most women, up to 12 months to lose it. Pushing too as your lactation being more established. hard at this stage can affect breast milk supply because of Sleeping energy expenditure and using up kilojoules. Your baby is biologically designed to seek comfort and Look after your own hygiene and health. It will be dispiriting security from you. There’s a reason why they calm when to still be in your nightie beyond mid morning. Prioritise you hold them and go to sleep when they’re feeding. All of your own needs so you can look after your baby. Showering us need to feel safe and secure to drop off to sleep and this every day, changing into clean clothes and eating well may starts in infancy. sound uninspiring but will go a long way towards feeling you’re managing everything else your day demands. Don’t feel you need to start placing restrictions around your baby’s settling. Their brain is too immature to understand too much and they can’t change their behaviour as a result of how they are cared for.
17 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Routine for a six to eight-week old
By Jane Barry
This is a joyful time. The early, confusing days have gone and there is often a bit of predictability to each day.
Babies in the 6-8 week old age group start showing the 3. Try expressing some breast milk so you learn what’s world what they’re capable of. An emerging personality involved. If you’re going out, returning to work or are just comes shining through and they give some hints of the little curious, expressing is another one of those skills which is person they are going to be. useful to have. You’ll have learnt what your baby likes, how they respond Sleeping when you do certain things and importantly, you realise they are becoming more a part of your family. Everyone has It’s common in this age group for babies to only sleep to shuffle around and find their new place in the household for one sleep cycle before waking up. Very young babies when a new baby comes along. If this is your first baby you transition from stages of deep sleep to wakefulness, and will have discovered what a huge change this means. many times wake up at around 45 minutes after they’ve first gone to sleep. This can lead to crankiness because they Adjusting to parenthood is one of the biggest events most don’t have enough deep and restorative sleep to feel rested. of us experience. And it takes time and lots of repetition and practice to feel confident. Three tips for 6-8 week old sleeping 1. Try placing your baby into their cot before they are fully 6-8 week old baby patterns asleep in your arms. Look for their tired signs and the By this age, your baby is probably showing more of a ‘sleep window’ which will help them to go off to sleep. pattern to their day. Regular feeding is separated by wakeful play times and hopefully, some sleep periods as 2. Avoid the temptation to co-sleep with your baby. BABY | ROUTINES well. Although you’re probably very tired and they calm when they’re in bed with you, this isn’t safe. Expect your baby to have a couple of unsettled times each day. For most within the 6-8 week age group this is around 3. Don’t rush to your baby the minute they wake up. Given 10 am and from 4pm onwards. It is often hard to know what the chance they might go back to sleep and hopefully, to do during these unhappy times. Feeding, calming and learn how to self settle without needing your help all the rocking don’t seem to have the same soothing effects they time. used to and the crying can seem very intense. Behaviour Try to stay calm and centred during these ‘storms’. Your There are arms and legs waving around madly at this age. baby will pick up on your emotions and although it may be Your baby has learnt how to put their fists into their mouth difficult, remind yourself that this time will pass. and get very excited when they see you. And it’s not just their body they’re learning about; their voice seems to Feeding feature now as well. Lovely coos and babbles are their early Your baby’s suck will have become stronger by now, to attempts at communication. the point where they are very efficient little feeders. If you’re breastfeeding, your supply is more in line with their Three tips for 6-8 week old behaviour demands but it’s still important to follow their feeding cues. 1. Let your baby join in when you’re out and have people You’ll know what a genuine hunger cry is – this is loud, over. Babies learn how to be social from other people incessant and there’s generally no peace until they’re fed. around them. Smiling, talking, holding and generally But grizzling and tiredness can also be a cue for feeding. being part of a group all help to form important social Try not to be too rigid about feeding schedules. Although connections in their brain. your baby is between 6-8 weeks old their gut is still 2. Read to your baby every day. Make a point of doing this, maturing. it’s so valuable. Three tips for 6-8 week old feeding 3. Give your baby some nappy free time to kick freely each 1. This is the age when many mothers start to wonder if day. Find a warm spot and enjoy their response to being their breast milk supply is adequate. As long as your baby unrestricted. is gaining weight and growing, looks bright and alert and is wetting six or more pale nappies a day then these are What’s important 6-8 weeks after birth positive signs. Oh, and regular loose poos as well. Make an appointment for your baby’s immunisations. These are free at community health centres and also available 2. Expect your baby to want to feed more often if they’re at GP surgeries. Take another adult with you if you feel going through a growth spurt. Offer both breasts if concerned about how your baby will respond. you’ve only been giving one side until now.
18 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Routine for eight to twelve-week old By Jane Barry In some ways you may be feeling the time has gone by very fast since they were born or alternately, dragged on.
So your little one is now aged between two and three Sleeping months. In some ways you may be feeling the time has gone by very fast since they were born or alternately, Your baby is unlikely to be a quiet little sleeper. They’ll make dragged on. Perhaps it’s becoming harder to imagine your noises which sound like they’re waking up or are perhaps in life before your baby came into it. pain, but then go back to sleep. Try not to hover too much when they’re sleeping. Give them some space to learn how Babies have a way of absorbing all available time. Hours to settle and even play on their own when they first wake up. can be spent around 8-12 weeks just sitting and gazing at their little face. Three tips for 8-12 week old sleeping By this age, most babies have become social little people. 1. Your baby will be moving around more and learning skills Lots of smiles and cooing which are designed to help you to get ready for rolling. If they’re waking themselves up in fall in love with them, multiple times each day. Mother the bassinet it’s time to transition to a cot. Nature is very clever. There’s lots of focus on parents 2. Don’t tiptoe around the house trying to insulate every learning how to attach to their baby and build emotional little noise. If your baby becomes used to normal connections. But babies themselves are very skilful at domestic sounds they’re less likely to be noise sensitive. helping us adore them. Try not to think about the hows and whys this whole process works, and allow your combined 3. Expect your baby to fall asleep when you’re driving or brains do what generations before have done. pushing them in their pram. Rocking and movement are very soothing, especially for tired babies who are 8-12 week old baby patterns reluctant to settle in their cot.
BABY | ROUTINES Most mornings will flow into the afternoons and evenings in a similar way. Of course, consecutive days won’t be a mirror Behaviour image of the one before. But there is going to be more of Your baby will have visibly grown by now. They’re less likely a predictive pattern to your days now. Your baby will be to stay in their wrap and be wiggling their way out. Give feeding a bit more regularly, their sleeps not as staggered them some floor time each day surrounded by toys and and you could be feeling just more settled. You’ve earned bright things. Watch as your baby ‘talks’ to familiar toys and this time. scans the near vicinity for their favourites. Much excitement too as noisy toys and rattles grab their attention. Delight in Although you’re still likely to be very tired and your baby your baby every day. nowhere near sleeping through the night, those heady, exhausting, early days have passed. Three tips for 8-12 week old behaviour Feeding 1. Your baby will want to be close to you. Even if you can’t hold them make sure they can see you and hear your If you’re in any doubt about your breast milk supply, speak voice if they’re unhappy. with your child health nurse and have your baby regularly weighed. Don’t introduce formula unless you’re advised 2. Lots of head bobbing now. Watch your nose and your to. Lots of mums interpret their 8-12 week old baby’s cheekbones if they’re in the way. Because although your unsettledness as hunger when there are other possibilities, baby thinks they’re very clever, their head control may still including overtiredness. be developing and there’ll be times when they just have to have a little rest. Expect your baby to cluster feed in the afternoons. If you have to be out and about, try to time errands for earlier in 3. Watch your 8-12 week old’s behaviour when their older the day. Then you can quarantine yourself at home when siblings are around. You’ll hear different, excited noises as your baby is demanding more attention. they communicate.
Three tips for 8-12 week old feeding What’s important 8-12 weeks after birth 1. Expect a longish break overnight between feeds. Up to Speak with your GP if you’re worried about your emotions. six hours is common, often in the earlier part of the night. The symptoms of sleep deprivation are very similar to post Make the most of this opportunity and go to bed as early natal depression and it’s almost impossible to be objective as possible. about ourselves. Low thyroid function is common for new mothers so ask for a thyroid function test if you’re 2. If your baby is bottle feeding, you may need to increase concerned. their feeding volume. If they’re draining the bottle, looking for more, are unsettled or not satisfied for 3-4 hours Involve your partner as much as possible in the baby’s between their feeds, suspect hunger. care. New mothers can see themselves as the baby’s ‘gatekeeper’ and it’s important that your partner feels they 3. Expect some snack feeding as your baby wants to are contributing as well. feed when they’re hungry, tired, bored or just unsure. Breastfeeding is more than just a source of nutrition in this age group.
19 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Routine for a three to six-month old
By Jane Barry
By three months, most babies will still be waking once or twice during the night for feeds, but many – hurrah! – will sleep four to five hours without waking.
Your baby will be growing through some pretty big Sleeping developmental changes between 3-6 months old. Rolling both ways is a skill which takes many hours to perfect. Most Get into the habit of encouraging your baby to sleep in the babies learn to roll from their front to their back first and same place for every sleep. At 3-6 months a more regular after a few weeks, learn to roll from their back to their belly. daily routine can start. Being consistent will help your baby Lots of floor time every day will help your baby to learn this feel secure and safe. important skill. Three tips for 3-6 month-old sleeping Smaller developmental stages will also happen. Being able 1. Encourage your baby to go to sleep in their cot. Look for to hold a rattle, focus and follow with their eyes, squealing their tired signs after they’ve fed and try not to always and cooing are all skills which need to be in place so that feed them when they’re hungry. Feed, play, sleep pattern with maturity other, more complex body movements can works for many. happen. 2. Still place your baby on their back for all sleeps. Though 3-6 month-old baby patterns they may be rolling onto their tummy, it’s important they go into their cot on their back. Each day will have more of a predictable ebb and flow by now. An early morning feed at around 5-6 am and then 3. Expose your baby to some filtered sunlight each day. some play, followed by another sleep is the usual pattern Melatonin (sleep hormone) levels are low during the day in this age group. Expect your baby to sleep better in and peak at night. their morning sleeps. Even if they’ve had a longer sleep BABY | ROUTINES overnight, this is often followed by a couple of 1-3 hours Behaviour sleeps until lunchtime. By around four months babies are able to recognize their If your baby sleeps well in the mornings then don’t expect own hunger and tired signals so they feed better and settle the same in the afternoons. They need some time each day faster. They’re more familiar with their environment and to be awake and learning. Remember, play is very important look for people and toys which they’re learned can be fun. in these early months and years. But this can also be a frustrating time – passing toys from Try to follow your baby’s cues and signals for what they one hand to another while keeping their head up and want. They will communicate with you in their own unique balance on their tummy is hard work. way, and over the last 3-6 months you’ve come to know each other more and more. If in doubt, follow your gut Three tips for 3-6 month-old behaviour feeling. Some researchers refer to the gut as “the second 1. Remind yourself that although your baby isn’t a newborn, brain” finding evidence to show brain and gut cells share they’re still very small. There will be days when you look similar characteristics. at them and think how big they’ve become and others when you realise how far they have to go. Feeding 2. If your baby has developed a flat head, move their cot Your baby’s stomach will be bigger by now and able to hold so they aren’t always looking through the bars with their more milk at each feed time. Breastfed babies at around head in the same position. Lots of tummy time each day five months get (on average) 180mls of milk in each feed. If and limiting time in their pram will help. your baby is bottle fed, be mindful of not overfeeding them. 3. Give your baby a daily massage. Pick a warm and relaxed Choose a formula which is lower in protein and follow the time to do this. feeding guide for recommended volumes. Rapid growth increases the risk of becoming overweight. What’s important 3-6 months after birth Three tips for 3-6 month-old feeding • Get outside every day with your baby. Place a rug on the 1. Expect more drooling from around four months old. This grass and look at the sky and the trees. is unlikely to be due to teething, but a sign their salivary • Sing, read, tell nursery rhymes and talk to your baby. glands are working. Verbal skills are built on hours and hours of exposure to a 2. At around six months offer your baby solid foods. Iron parent’s voice. and zinc rich solids will supply your baby’s brain with • Keep things simple. Your baby does not need much – important nutrients. milk, sleep, comfort, interaction and love will cover all the 3. Milk still needs to be your baby’s main source of nutrition. basics. Avoid getting caught up in too much complexity. Around five milk feeds each day is average in the 3-6 month age group.
20 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Routines for a six to nine-month-old
By Jane Barry
This is such a lovely age. That very small and immature baby you brought home from hospital has become a real little person.
You’ll have a sense of their personality and have gotten to in with the family conversations and share food from your know their likes, dislikes and funny habits. own plate. Each day will have more of a pattern and structure, much Sleeping more than those earlier, endless cycles of feeding and settling. You’ve both earned the games and sweet little rituals Expect your baby to wake up sometimes before they’re which come from working so hard in the last 6-9 months. ready to. Although they’re becoming much more mobile they’re still learning and in the meantime can get into some Your baby will have learnt without a shadow of a doubt, interesting positions in their cot. Try not to “rescue” them who is most likely to ensure their survival -that’s you! too quickly. Give them a chance to learn the skills involved There’s a reason behind their sookiness when you aren’t in repositioning themselves. in sight. Separation anxiety is a sign of what a good job you’ve done of supporting your baby’s emotional Three tips for 6-9 month old sleeping attachment to you. This developmental stage is a very 1. Look for your baby to have around 2-3 day time sleeps important step in a child’s emotional growth. of between 1-3 hours. Some days they’ll sleep better than In the first 12 months of life babies learn about trust. This others. informs the quality of relationships they’ll have throughout 2. Tired signs include rubbing their eyes, yawning, looking a their whole life. The best way for you to care for your baby little pale and being irritable. through these months is to be there for them and care for them in a sensitive, nurturing way. 3. Consider stopping your baby’s dummy if they’re waking BABY | ROUTINES up when it falls out. 6-9 month old baby patterns Feeding will take on a whole new dimension at around six Behaviour months when your baby starts eating solid foods. When Your baby will have their own repertoire of noises and they can sit without support, hold their head up, transfer squeals by now. They’ll respond to their name and familiar food from the tip of their tongue to the back and then household noises, make mimicking sounds and really laugh swallow, are all signs of solids readiness. when they find something hilarious.
Some babies go through an adjustment phase when they This is the age when social behaviour is really taking off so start solids. Restlessness and sleep changes can emerge include your baby in activities, conversations and outings. because of changes in digestion. But other babies tend to sleep more soundly, perhaps as a result of feeling fuller. Three tips for 6-9 month old behaviour 1. Always strap your baby into their pram and highchair. Feeding Watch them on the change table and supervise them Your baby still needs around 4-5 milk feeds per day and during floor time. Their development doesn’t match an between 1-3 solid meals. Offer foods which are high in iron understanding of safety. and zinc as these nutrients will support your baby’s brain growth. 2. Get out and about with your baby. They’ll find everything fascinating and new. Make a point of escaping the house, There is no particular order which foods need to be even for a short time every day. introduced; just make sure what your baby is eating is nutritious and their diet varied. Preferably offer 3. Follow your baby’s lead when they want to play. Some home cooked foods – they taste better and have more of the best games evolve without planning. Remember, consistency than prepared foods. And avoid pouch foods communication is a two-way process, you’ll learn from which don’t encourage chewing and restrict the baby from each other. being able to smell and see the food they’re eating. What’s important 6-9 months after birth Three tips for 6-9 month old feeding Watch your baby experiment with different ways to 1. Offer milk first and then solid foods. Milk still needs to be grab your attention. Learning to wave, playing peek-a- the main source of nutrition at this age. If your baby’s not boo, understanding what “no” means and importantly, keen on solids then try reversing this order. responding to their name are all developmental markers between 6-9 months. 2. Sit your baby in their highchair for meals and encourage self-feeding. Finger foods, as well as purees, will support If you’ve got any concerns about your baby’s vision their chewing skills. or hearing, now is the time to have them checked. Development rarely happens in a straightforward pattern. 3. Time your baby’s mealtimes to coincide with the rest of Some weeks your baby will seem to not be doing anything the family. Eating is not just about nutrition but social new at all and other weeks they’ll be learning new skills interaction and communication as well. Let your baby join every day.
21 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Routine for a nine to twelve month-old
By Jane Barry
Your baby is now as old as it took to grow them. The first year is a time of incredible growth and development. As your baby’s first birthday approaches you’ll find yourself reflecting on how far you’ve both come.
9-12 month old baby patterns Three tips for 9-12 month old sleeping A common guide for this age group is to be up for a couple 1. Be predictable and consistent with your baby’s sleep and of hours during the day and then down for a couple more. settling routine. Go through the same wind-down routine A typical pattern is a wake-up time of between 5-6 am, a every time you settle your baby. morning sleep around 9-10 am and then another afternoon 2. Gently tell your baby to “lie-down, go to sleep” when nap around 2 pm. Overtiredness leads to grumpy behaviour you’re settling them. Verbal prompts help a baby to and lots of whinging. Although your baby may not want to understand what they need to do. go to sleep, it’s worth persevering with trying to settle them when they’re clearly tired. 3. Don’t use a pillow in your baby’s cot. Pillows aren’t safe until a child transitions out of a cot and into a bed. But remember, you can’t make your baby drop off to sleep. All you can do is try to settle them and the rest is their call. Behaviour Feeding Lots of crawling and pulling themselves up to stand at this age. Make sure tables, televisions and furniture are all BABY | ROUTINES When your 9-12 month old baby is going through a rapid secure and not at risk of toppling over. Use baby gates to growth spurt, they’ll want to feed constantly to fuel their secure doorways and limit access where you don’t want growth. But this very hungry feeding pattern can follow your baby to go. periods of wanting to sleep more. Throughout your child’s life they will go through stages where all of their energy is Three tips for 9-12 month old behaviour going into growing, which is pretty tiring work. 1. Create some distance between yourself and your baby Three tips for 9-12 month old feeding if you need a break. Recognize your own limits when it comes to their crying and demands. Importantly, look 1. Limit mealtimes to around 20 minutes. Longer than this after yourself. and babies lose interest and mealtimes should never be a battleground. 2. Don’t expect too much from your baby when they’re tired. Just concentrate on the basics and focus on getting 2. Be mindful of your own relationship with food. It is only them into their cot. Time outings between their sleep fair that your baby develops their own eating habits and times. patterns which aren’t controlled by anyone else. 3. Set up your house so it’s childproof. It will be years before 3. Read the labels on food items and know what your baby your baby will learn not to touch precious things. Save is eating. No one will care about your baby’s nutrition like your energy and do what’s easy. you. Sleeping What’s important 9-12 months after birth Plan your baby’s first birthday. But remember who this is for At 9-12 months babies still need a couple of daytime sleeps and that they really couldn’t care too much. It quite literally and are able to sleep through the night without feeding. is the thought that counts. Hopefully, this means you’ll be getting more sleep as well, but perhaps not. Brush your baby’s teeth every day. Baby teeth are prone to decay so it’s important to clean those little pearlers. Don’t Babies who are used to having their parent’s help to go to use fluoridated toothpaste just yet - a soft cloth or baby sleep don’t learn the skills needed to self-settle. Being fed, toothbrush with water is fine. rocked, cuddled, co-sleeping or even being driven to sleep in the car can work for only so long. Parental exhaustion is most often the motivator for change.
22 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE I tried the Instagram famous $2000 baby bassinet
By Melissa Shedden
It’s the only baby product even my non-mum mates wanted to know about in intimate detail.
“What do you mean where is the velcro?” It’s 8.30pm and position, shushing, swinging and sucking), Snoo recreates I’m whisper berating my husband as our six-day-old baby sensations experienced in the womb for what Dr Karp sleeps beside our bed. describes as “the fourth trimester”. His research shows newborns are most comforted when they hear white noise, “I didn’t know,” he pleas back softly. BABY | SLEEP AID REVIEWS feel movement and are swaddled. The smart bassinet, “If you didn’t know how to swaddle her properly, why didn’t which is controlled via a phone app, does all three things you ask?” I bate him. and had my husband who has a tendency for insomnia on the best of days, wishing he could order one in adult size. “Well, what damage is this thing going to do to Olive?” he fires back in equally hushed tones. Speaking to Kidspot over the phone from his practice in Los Angeles, Dr Karp gave this first time mum an expert ear Not even a week in and here we are having our first baby to ask as multitude of questions to – from the researched to related argument fuelled by cluster feeding and the heady ridiculous. scent of baby chuck mixed with new parent fears. The fourth trimester Six days earlier after a 30-hour labour ending in a caesarean, we welcomed Olive to our family amid overjoyed “Snoo helps make the transition from womb to world sobs, joining another recent addition – Snoo. easier,” Dr Karp says, adding how much modern parenting has changed, yet how few advancements we’ve seen when Let me preface this by saying I am but a humble mother it comes to sleep. “Today, parents think they’re supposed of one, so that newborn elation was experienced wholly to suck it up, deal with it and raise a baby without a village. and acutely, a rush of hormones that made my world Exhaustion doesn’t need to be a rite of passage.” feel suddenly smaller, but all the richer. Of course, those delicious feelings soon got elbowed out of the way by I have two words for you: witching hour, though as one of another suffocating beast – new parent anxiety – one that the clued up mum’s at my parents group questioned, why is tricks your mind into imagining the worst, only made worse it called witching hour, when it goes way longer than that? by sleep deprivation. Which is where the magic of Snoo “Sleep deprivation is devilish. When you’re sleep deprived comes in. it pushes you toward marital stress, sickness, breastfeeding problems, post-natal depression. Plus, there’s dangers Rock a bye baby driving – you’re the equivalent of drunk,” says Dr Karp. Like the iPhone or the Apple Watch of smart bassinets, Snoo has gained cult status first in the US (just check out The safest baby bed ever made #SnooNation on Instagram and you’ll see soothing videos Which brings us back to that bedtime argument between of babies being gently rocked to sleep). Now bleary-eyed my husband and I. After five sleepless nights in the Australian parents are handing over their money for the hospital, waking at Olive’s every peep and move, it’s Snoo’s high tech responsive system design that boosts sleep, safety aspect that we found most comforting. Designed reduces crying and naturally sleep trains babies. For real. specifically to keep babies safely on their back all night and Full transparency: ours was given to us by Happiest Baby to for all naps, Snoo’s straightjacket-like swaddle clips into the trial and in my 15 year journalism career, I’ve never had more bassinet meaning Olive can’t do any dangerous rolling or mates (parents or not) interested in a no-holds-barred get her face (read: breathing passages) anywhere near an review. The hype works. edge. It was our biggest fear. Developed by celebrity pediatrician Dr Harvey Karp (he’s Almost 50% of babies who die in their sleep are found on had 25 years’ experience and is famous for creating a the stomach, a position reported to raise the risk of SIDS/ technique he calls ‘the 5s’ – swaddling, side or stomach SUID by 300 to 400%.
23 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE “To date, babies have logged over 75 million hours in their that there might be less contact and therefore connection Snoos without a single injury or death being reported,” says between parent and child. Dr Karp. “There is no less touching. When the baby is asleep you’re In fact, Snoo is being evaluated by the US Food and Drug not touching them. Snoo is allowing the baby to be safely Administration (FDA) as a breakthrough device to prevent swaddled, feeling like they’re being cuddled while they get infant sleep death (SIDS). They’re also currently part of a extra sleep.” research program into preventing post-natal depression at Melbourne’s Monash University. In other words, this is Beware the baby KPIs scientific stuff. As I found though, there is one potential negative of all that data. Extra set of hands But does it work? In the now almost six months of Olive’s If you’re a type A personality like me who’s used to hitting deadlines and KPIs, you might end up using the graphic BABY | SLEEP AID REVIEWS life, I’ve managed to shower every day thanks to Snoo. Granted somedays that might not be until 4pm, but I’m and report about baby sleep as your own report card about counting this as a superhuman feat for a new mum. how you’re doing as a mother. I had to be careful not to obsess over the stats. Dr Karp puts it simply. “More than anything else Snoo is a 24/7 helper. It’s like your older sister moved in with you.” The verdict How? It buys time. Snoo responds to fussing with extra Parents have no problem spending bucks on a pram (hello sound and motion, either soothing Olive back to sleep, or Bugaboo), yet as I found out, Olive was spending up to sending me an alert saying Olive needs my care. It meant 18 hours a day sleeping, most of the time in Snoo. Now at simple things like being able to eat a hot dinner with both almost 6 months, that’s down to around 14 hours – still a my hands at the table with my husband, or finishing my huge portion of her day. 68th slice of banana bread while finally replying to check-in texts. Sure, it’s an outlay at first. At full price it’s $2000, but given you can use it for four to six months it works out at about She sleeps well at night, again another promise of Snoo. $11 a day, depending on the exchange rate. You see, Snoo is When mums would recount hours at night pacing and only available via US company Happiest Baby in US dollars. rocking to put bub to sleep I kept silent. I’m not saying Pro tip: it’s often on sale and they offer a free 30-day trial, she’s slept through from 7am-7pm but – I’ve only ever had so if you’re not happy you can return it. to settle her after a nighttime feed once – and that also coincided with a fever she had from vaccinations. I’ve been At 4.5 months we turned the sound and motion off to able to hear her hunger cry, feed, then pop her back in get Olive ready for transition to a cot, but there is an easy Snoo (which pumps out the rocking and white noise for weaning function and process to follow. Again, that new me) and off to sleep we both went (but it doesn’t mean her parent anxiety catastrophised how terribly the change weird baby grunting didn’t wake me). would go, but true to her resilience, Olive hardly noticed, continuing her same sleep habits. Babies are still babies though We’ll be farewelling Snoo, who I affectionately called our It’s not a magician though. Babies still go through fourth family member, shortly, packing it away until we do developmental phases like the dreaded daytime catnapping a loaner (the list of family and friends putting dibs on it is and four-month sleep regression but it does help with it. In long). As my husband says about her moving to the cot fact, Olive is still a daytime catnapper sleeping anywhere and out of Snoo’s safety, “that’s the scariest part”. Wish us from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours. I also found there’s a helpline newbies luck! if you’ve got any questions or looking for tips. When Olive’s catnapping was sending me loopy I phoned for help and they suggested the ‘rice tip,’ which mimics the feeling of being cradled. I also found myself regularly checking the Happiest Baby blog for advice and tips.
Of course, the idea of letting technology tend to your baby might be unsettling for some parents. I asked Dr Karp about critics who say Snoo is replacing mothers and
24 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE We tried Amazon’s top picks for a good sleep and here’s what we found
By Pilar Mitchell
We tried and tested a smart watch, an Echo, a light alarm and a mask that plays music to see if these gadgets can help us get a better night’s sleep.
We’re parents so let’s face it we are all exhausted- all the Garmin Forerunner 35, $151.79 damn time. Ever on the quest for a good eight-hours shut eye, we asked our editors and journalists to road test Leah Goulis, Lifestyle Editor Amazon’s top sleep gadgets. To be honest, I was a little surprised to see the Garmin From an Amazon Echo that will read our kids bedtime Forerunner 35 listed as one of Amazon’s top picks for sleep. stories to a sleep mask that plays music, here are our How does an exercise watch help with sleep exactly? reviews: I’m a pretty good sleeper but I have trouble actually switching off and taking myself to bed. While this watch doesn’t exactly do anything to help you “get” a good night’s sleep, it does help you track “how” you slept.
This is where things got a little depressing for me. So far
BABY | SLEEP AID REVIEWS I’ve only used the watch for one full night but that was enough to see how bad my sleep pattern was. The graph showed I only had around two hours of deep sleep! No wonder I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus most mornings! And here I am blaming two children (who I can assure you had waaaay more zzz’s than me!)
Perhaps a little more exercise or better sleep routine will help me see those deep sleep hours increase? The watch definitely can help me keep accountable with that.
Set up is easy and you can select times that you want to be in bed, but it would be even better if it prompted me to Amazon Echo, $79.00 actually go to bed. Melissa Wilson, Executive Editor I like the watch, but it’s probably more of an exercise tool I am obsessed with the Amazon Echo! It’s really simple to than sleeping tool. set up and I was surprised at the number of ways it can help you get to sleep.
I started with ‘Alexa, help me sleep’ and it played a calming thunderstorm, which can play on loop. It really helped me fall into a deep sleep quickly.
Then I tried meditation (not normally my thing), to help me get in the right headspace for bed. Given TV or my phone were not the last thing I stared at right before bed, once again I fell asleep quickly.
I also used it to sing the kids a lullaby and tell a bedtime story. They stayed in bed instead of getting up a million times and by the time it finished they went to sleep much easier. The only con was the kids fighting over what to play next!
It’s not a device I would have first thought of to help with sleep issues, but I would definitely recommend it to anyone struggling with the zzz’s. There are also a ton of different styles of Echo Dot products to suit you and your needs.
25 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Wake-Up Light Alarm, $53.41 AGPTEK Noise-Cancelling Wired Sleep Bek Day, Commissioning Editor Headphones Eye Mask My worst habit is taking my phone to bed with me. What Madeline Cox, News Producer starts as a final flick through Insta, Facebook and my email turns into an hour or more of mindless scrolling. When you start work in front of a computer at 5am and
BABY | SLEEP AID REVIEWS start chugging coffee almost immediately, you can expect This year, my New Year’s resolution was to put an end to be wired by the end of the day. Combine that with a to this habit, but as someone who needs to wake up mild case of insomnia and you have the reason I exist in a obscenely early, the simple fact of not having a regular permanent stage of exhaustion. So I was overjoyed to try alarm clock has stopped me - until now. AGPTEK Noise Cancelling Wired Sleep Headphones eye mask. Enter: the Wake Up Light. The idea is that the light not only wakes you up with music, but half an hour before you’re When I first slipped it over my eyes, I was impressed with set to rise, it simulates a ‘sunrise’ light, to naturally ease you both how comfortable the mask was and also how much out of slumber. Then, you get a choice of six ‘natural’ alarm light it managed to block out. No matter how much I tossed sounds (birds chirping and the like) as well as your choice and turned it stayed in place all night long. As a mask this of FM radio. product works incredibly well. The headphone part I’m not quite sold on. The night I used the light, I rose effortlessly when the alarm sounded. I noticed that the light was bright, but I couldn’t The mask comes with an AUX cord that you’re supposed figure out if the noise or the brightness had been what to connect to your phone. My phone won’t let you charge woke me. Call it novelty, but I didn’t feel quite so resentful and listen to headphones at the same time, so that meant dragging myself out of bed. waking up the next morning to a nearly dead phone which I didn’t love. And with an additional hour’s sleep under my belt, I felt rested, ready (for coffee) and impressed with my new- I’m also not sure listening to music, as relaxing as it was, fangled sleep aid. helped me sleep any better. In the interest of full disclosure, actual medication hasn’t helped either so this probably isn’t A week on, and I can honestly say my phone is permanently the mask’s fault. I’d also be keen to try this mask on a flight extradited from my bedroom during sleeping hours. The or road trip as I feel like listening to music to sleep in those Wake-Up Light alarm is chic, easy-to-use and blends in situations is a must. well with the room décor and best of all I’m sleeping better. Hooray!
26 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Glow Dreaming review: The miracle invention that made my non-sleeper sleep
By Melissa Wilson
And we don’t use the word ‘miracle’ lightly...
My son had always been a dream sleeper. Slept through the night his very first night on earth. He was one of those babies that you keep your mouth shut about, cause really, no one wants to hear it.
I knew it was too good to last. I had two solid years of my baby, well, sleeping like a baby, before it all went pear shaped. It was like it happened overnight One minute he was going to bed easily and I’d be giving him a hug at 6.30am, the next I was up three times a night
BABY | SLEEP AID REVIEWS for an hour or more at a time and on the cusp of losing my mind.
He has just turned three and over the past year he has been a nightmare for weeks at a time, then every three months or so it would get better - briefly.
Around 1am one night, after weeks of badly broken sleep, I realised I couldn’t go on. I’d tried multiple sleep coaches, controlled (ish) crying - hard to do when they can get out It also uses something called ‘pink noise’. White noise of bed and out of their room - and nothing was working. blocks out background noise but pink noise is the frequency you hear in things like waterfalls, thunder and Enough the ocean. A world renowned sound expert Dr Stephane I had been sent a sleep light a few weeks earlier but hadn’t Pigeon created a unique sound that uses a rhythm and tried it yet. I was slightly put off by a line in the instructions timing that helps cause drowsiness and get us to fall into that said your child may regress for the first six nights. I just the most restful type of sleep known as Slow Wave Sleep. couldn’t handle things getting worse than they were. Then there’s the specially formulated essential oil blend But on that particular night, I was so desperate for sleep, called Twinkle Star which fills the room with a therapeutic I plugged it in. The next thing I knew, it was 6.30am and I citrus based smell. Well, that’s what it smells like to me but hadn’t heard a peep from my little angel with devil wings. the combination is secret after they tested hundreds of blends. What was this magic machine and how on earth did it get a toddler so determined to party all night, to finally go the And finally, there’s a humidifier which combats the drying f**k to sleep? effects of heating and air conditioning.
It’s called Glow Dreaming and is marketed as ‘the world’s That’s the tech stuff, so did all of that fancy NASA most successful sleep aid’ with a 98 percent success rate. technology actually work after that initial night? The short Big claims right? answer is, yes. It’s not perfect, I’d be very surprised if he just switched back to the dream sleeper I once knew overnight, So how does it work? but things are a hell of a lot better than they were. It has a four pronged approach. It looks just like a child’s I’ve been using it for around three weeks now and he has night light with six different light settings. Three levels of woken around four to five nights during that time. (Look, ‘red LED light therapy’, the same technology used by NASA even NASA is no match for an overtired, hungry toddler for its astronauts. NASA: surely they know how to do sleep. some nights). The red spectrum light stimulates the production of melatonin which tells us when it’s time to sleep. The red LED light also combats the the sleep disruption caused by technology and children are even more susceptible to the damage caused by blue light from screens.
27 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE BABY | SLEEP AID REVIEWS
Bedtime is completely different But instead of being awake for an hour at a time, I go in and give him a pat and he goes straight back to sleep. But one of the biggest wins for me is bedtime. What was once an hour long physical battle just to get him to lie down is now a calm, five minute process. That blows my mind.
A friend of mine also tried it out on her stubborn three year old and had even more success.
Kate’s daughter rarely slept through, was hard to get to bed, up at sparrows, night terrors, going into their room, calling out, falling out of bed (on purpose?), she was all over the place. Literally.
Things were so bad, that a sleep consultant told her that she couldn’t help.
“Cue me crying in the shower… this was our last hope and we were gobsmacked,” Kate said.
It took six nights to work on her ‘strong-willed’ three and-a- half-year-old. And then on the seventh night, she just slept through.
“I thought it was a fluke but it just kept getting better... she wakes randomly once every two weeks now. But it’s never hard to get her back to sleep. And she’s started to ‘sleep in’. She used to be up at 5am on the dot and now it’s closer to 6.30/7. I mean... miracle.”
That’s exactly what it feels like, a miracle. Check it out for yourself and let me know how it goes. I’m crossing everything you have the same success.
28 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE I forgot my golden parenting rule, but my second child reminded me By Bek Day If you’re the kind of mum who checks on their baby’s breathing every 0.2 seconds, self- confessed panicky parent Bek Day may have found the product to give you peace of mind.
It’s no secret I’m a bit of a panicky mum. Actually, that’s not Basically, if anything is amiss my Owlet app will alert me, the whole picture - I’m actually fairly relaxed on most issues and I can also just check in through the camera to see the - I’m flexible on bedtime, I take the milestones as they base station glowing green, indicating we’re all good. come and I’m not particularly wedded to any one parenting ‘strategy’, but the one thing that sees my heart race and my And while all of these functions are amazing, the biggest breath quicken is anything surrounding my kids’ health. benefit of all was a bit of a surprise, because it reminded me of the one parenting ‘rule’ I used to live by. I’ve written before about how health anxiety affected me with my firstborn, but suffice it to say, my worries The rule... sometimes impacted on my ability to enjoy that golden The one piece of advice I give every new parent is that newborn time. I’ve been known to diagnose my son with most issues can be greatly improved by reducing parental a rare genetic condition based on a birthmark (it was just anxiety in any situation. Got a crappy sleeper? Implement a birthmark), take him to doctor because he yawned a lot the strategy that causes the least stress on the parents. (that was a low point even for me) and wake up sweating in Fussy eater? Reducing the tension you feel about it is the middle of the night because he’d slept ‘too long’.
BABY | SLEEP AID REVIEWS half of the battle. Struggling to make the decision about I got help with my anxiety, and when his little sister came schools/breastfeeding/co-sleeping/baby-wearing? Choose along earlier this year, I was determined to use the tools what soothes your frazzled mum-soul. I’d learnt with my son, and not to let myself spiral into that For me, that’s what the Owlet is - a little piece of solid, fear-filled world every time she got a sniffle. scientific calm in a world where there is very little right now. Then I birthed her in the middle of a pandemic and my I know logically that my baby will be fine overnight as she good intentions went to pot. sleeps all of five metres away in her room - but if I can buy myself a little extra peace of mind, that’s exactly what I’m Some extra reassurance going to do. Around this time, I was offered a chance to try the new Owlet Smart Monitor Duo RRP $699, which is a smart sock that monitors my baby’s heart rate and oxygen, as well as a camera monitor so I can see her while she sleeps.
It couldn’t have come at a better time, seeing as our previous solution, a security camera my husband bought on the cheap on eBay, had a feature unknown to us that actually let off an alarm in her room every time she moved. NOT CHILL.
We’ve been using it for a few weeks now, and while I initially had some concerns about the sock working underneath the many layers of onesie-sleeping bag-swaddle I’ve been putting her in during the cooler months, it’s turned out to be a dream. What it does While it’s important to note the Owlet isn’t linked to reducing SIDS, (a lot of parents assume this is the case given the way it works), what it does is give you a picture not only of your baby’s vital stats overnight but a glimpse into their sleep patterns as well.
For me, oxygen saturation is something I’m always a little bit obsessed with. My son is asthmatic, and after a trip to emergency when he was a baby that resulted in us finding out his oxygen saturation was scarily low, my fears of the same thing happening overnight with our daughter had begun to creep in.
29 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Cocconababy Review 2020: The best cot for newborn babies By Eliza Cracknell
One mum reviews the Cocoonababy Nest, an ergonomic cocoon that is meant to help newborns sleep better. BABY | SLEEP AID REVIEWS
It was 1.38am, I’d once again turned to my late night What are the benefits of a Cocoonababy? companion Google, as I held a three-week-old sleeping newborn on my chest- the only position he got more than Sleeping in the nest has it’s advantages, some listed by the four minutes of sleep in. brand include; helping improve the quality and length of time of sleep, minimising the risk of flat head syndrome, Google led me to an article by writer Zoe Foster Blake, limiting gastric reflux and reducing involuntary jerky ‘What I used and liked for my second baby’ and I started to movements, thanks to the velcro strap, which can lead to read through my sleep deprived haze. babies waking.
Her baby, like mine, was gassy and refused to sleep lying Obviously all babies are different so I can only speak to down, and she said that one particular bad night she tried a my own experience, but for my son from the day it arrived, Cocoonababy Nest and like magic it had worked to put her it saw him sleeping for larger chunks at night in his cot baby to sleep. Foster Blake wrote: “it’s on an incline, and it’s without me having to hold him. This meant I was also able wonderful. I’ve loaned mine to three friends, bought one for to get some sleep. So tick number one. a new mum friend and deeply wish I’d invented it.” I also found it was really helpful in teaching him to self Needless to say I had punched in my credit card details settle. The snug, hug like shape meant I could just put him quicker than you can read that last sentence. in his sleep sack, velcro him into the Cocoonababy nest, give him the dummy at nap and bedtimes and he’d put It arrived three days later, I remember because I anxiously himself to sleep. No patting for hours like I did with my waited by the door for it, and while it didn’t have said first son. This meant I was able to look after my other son, newborn instantly sleeping through the night, it was a making juggling the two much easier. gamechanger on so many levels. It was also so portable! If he fell asleep in my bedroom I But before I get into that, let’s back up a bit. could move him somewhere else without waking him. It also made travelling or visiting friends and family less stressful What is a Cocoonababy? as I’d simply take that along for him to have all his naps in. The Cocoonababy Nest is essentially a nest-like mattress This meant his sleeps weren’t compromised by my attempt for newborns to sleep in. According to the website, it is at a ‘social’ life. “an ergonomic cocoon designed for use in the cot during The Cocoonababy is to be used in deep cots and bassinets baby’s first months as it reassures babies and help them (not moses baskets or strollers), I also found it so useful to adapt smoothly to life after birth.” just put it on the floor. Developed in 1995 by a pediatric physiotherapist in To ensure I wasn’t the only one who was obsessed, I did a collaboration with medical professionals, the Cocoonababy quick straw poll via my WhatsApp. has been extensively used in hospitals and in homes around the world since.
30 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE The transition from Cocoonababy to cot The Cocoonababy is suitable for babies from 2.8kg to around 3 to 4 months, but once they are rolling you should stop using it.
So how do you transition from a Cocoonababy to a cot?
I was so scared for this day! But a year or so on I don’t actually remember it being that bad. I asked a friend who has also drunk the Cocoonababy kool aid and she says,“It did take a few days (but also coincided with 4 month sleep regression so I don’t know if the transition woke him up or just the age) - but I remember we rolled up a towel and put it under the fitted cot sheet around his head/shoulders for a few days so he still felt as if he was in it and secure. Absolutely no idea if that was necessary or not!” Where to buy a Cocoonababy They are a little pricey and as babies aren’t in them that long, they are a great purchase to buy for the first child so you can get more mileage out of it. I definitely wish I had’ve had one with my first. What other mums say about the You can head to the Cocoonababy site to purchase online. BABY | SLEEP AID REVIEWS Cocoonababy We have also found some on catch.com.au for $263 and at “Yesssss we loved it. Alex slept in it from the first night we Baby Bunting for $214. bought him home from the hospital and he was always an amazing sleeper. Not sure if the Cocoonababy can take sole Safety and Cocoonababy credit but I certainly think the enveloping nature and bar under the legs helped him feel somewhat as if he’s still in Things to note, the Cocoonababy foam is made of PU the womb and having him slightly raised helped avoid any (polyurethane) foam which is certified CertiPUR. This kind of colic,” wrote one friend. ensures that the product is manufactured in compliance with the highest Safety, Health and Environment standards. Another said: “It was a game changer for us! Especially handy when we went to Ireland as it provided a totally Unfortunately there is no guarantee against Sudden Infant consistent sleep environment no matter where we were. It Death Syndrome (SIDS) as the exact cause of SIDS is was like an instant portable cot for a newborn, on planes, unknown so regardless of the mattress you buy you should in the airport, in hotels and at other people’s houses. She also follow safe sleeping guidelines: would sleep soundly anywhere she went because it was so 1. Sleep baby on the back from birth, not on the tummy or familiar.” side Adding: “I would always take her out of the bedroom to 2. Sleep baby with head and face uncovered feed her on the lounge at night so I didn’t disturb my husband (it’s crazy when I remember now that her feeds 3. Keep baby smoke free before birth and after took almost an hour!) and so I would pick up the cocoona and carry her in and out of the bedroom in it without 4. Provide a safe sleeping environment night and day waking her. We would joke that it was like escorting the 5. Sleep baby in their own safe sleeping place in the same queen on her ‘tiny throne’.” room as an adult care-giver for the first six to twelve “Charlotte literally lived in it. So convenient to have her in months something safe as I carried it around the house to wherever 6. Breastfeed baby we were, particularly with my other two kids. They could feel close to her but not on top of her! Game changer Be sure to always follow the Cocoonababy instructions. when visiting people too as so easy to pop it on someone’s bed - or the table while we were eating. Often a dinner centrepiece.”
31 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE 5 reasons why your healthy baby is crying instead of sleeping
By Steph Gouin
Attention all new parents, this one’s for you.
Babies need sleep, they want sleep and they can sleep. If they aren’t sleeping, there will be a reason or reasons why and in a healthy baby, these reasons are often straight forward.
Meeting your baby’s basic needs will make them feel calm, content and loved. However, if their basic needs aren’t attended to, they will get upset and they will cry.
As a loving parent, it’s easy to panic and think worst case scenario when your baby is crying and not sleeping however chances are, the reason or reasons for the crying will be basic and easy to address. That is, if you know what you’re looking for.
Here are some of the reasons why your baby may be crying and therefore, not sleeping: BABY | EXPERT ADVICE Your baby is overtired to fall back to sleep simply because they are cold and When a baby is not getting enough total sleep, day and uncomfortable. night, they become overtired and exhausted. Pay attention to what you are dressing your baby in during Babies need a large amount of sleep every 24 hours and sleep time and the temperature of their room and don’t be when they don’t get that, they often struggle to fall off to afraid to add layers and use a safe heater during the colder sleep and stay asleep for long periods. Babies, particularly months. young babies, do not need to be wake for long before they need to sleep. Your baby’s conditions change If a baby is falling to sleep under a certain set of conditions Responding to your baby’s-tired signs and getting them (i.e. being held, fed, rocked, sucking a dummy) they may down for a nap or at bedtime when they are tired and not fall off to sleep with ease however when they are then put overtired and exhausted, will help them settle off to sleep down in their cot or bassinet alone or their dummy falls out, easier, without those extended periods of crying. It will also they rouse during sleep and they will realize the conditions help with the quality and length of their sleep. have changed, they will cry.
Your baby is hungry Get into the habit of putting your baby down by If your baby is hungry, they will cry, and they will not sleep. themselves, in their cot or bassinet for naps and at bedtime. Feeding and sleeping go hand in hand and a well-fed baby, When they wake during sleep, they will see the conditions who has a nice, full feed or meal will be satisfied and able to they fell asleep under will be the same and familiar and sleep much longer than a baby who is hungry. therefore they will feel happy falling back to sleep without needing your help. A hungry baby needs to be fed however babies of all ages do not need to be fed constantly. If they are feeding, or Your baby is unwell snacking constantly, their sleep will be disrupted. An otherwise healthy baby who is coming down with a cold It’s important that you space out your baby’s feeds, during or who is unwell with a tummy bug may cry more and sleep the day and overnight, allowing them to build up a hunger less. so they then take a full feed / meal when they are in fact If you are worried that your baby is unwell or coming down hungry. with something, don’t hesitate and take them to your GP or This will help keep them satisfied so they nap longer and Paediatrician. If you need to feed your baby more and hold sleep solidly before needing another feed overnight. them more during this time, then do. In saying that, when your baby is unwell, sleep is as Your baby is cold important as ever so make it a priority. A well-rested baby Babies need to feel warm and cozy and when they don’t, will cope with illness much better than an exhausted and they don’t sleep. A cold baby will struggle to fall to sleep sleep deprived one. and then when they do rouse in between sleep cycles or stages overnight or during a nap, they will find it very hard The same applies to poor Mum and Dad too.
32 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Top tip Around 3-4 months baby sleep becomes more like adult sleep
The four month sleep regression BABY | EXPERT ADVICE doesn’t need to be so difficult
By Steph Gouin
In our house, the disastrous “four month sleep regression” never happened. Not with our first. Not with our second. Not with our third. And it’s not because we were lucky.
Everywhere you look, everywhere you turn, you will hear foundations are in place 24/7, they can move through the new (and not so new) Mums talking about it. They say it’s difference sleep stages and sleep cycles relatively easily, horrendous, they say it’s exhausting, they tell you to “brace going from light to deep sleep and from one sleep cycle to yourself, things will never be the same again”. the next, without too much hassle and without too much intervention. In our house, the disastrous “4 month sleep regression” never happened. Not with our first. Not with our second. Around the 3-4 months stage, this all begins to change, Not with our third. In fact, I had never heard about the 4 and baby sleep becomes much more like adult sleep. Adult month sleep regression until after Poppy was well past 4 sleep is more complex in nature and each sleep cycle months of age. consists of more stages, not just “light and deep” sleep. More stages within the sleep cycle means more opportunity So, did we just get lucky? for a baby to wake. Because whilst once, a baby needed to just move through light and deep sleep then into the next No, we didn’t sleep cycle, they now need to more through multiple stages Then how did we escape this exhausting and challenging during “deep (or NREM)” sleep, into “light (or REM)” sleep. period that mums talk to each other about constantly and Add to that, that by 3-4 months of age, a baby is much say they are so physically and mentally damaged by in the more alert and aware of their surroundings than they are aftermath? Well, we had three babies who could self-settle, when they are a newborn and bam, enter the dreaded “four who were well rested, and we had three babies who, by four month sleep regression” that everyone is talking about. months of age, were in a very predictable and familiar daily pattern of sleeping, feeding and waking. The changes don’t have to be a disaster At 3-4 months of age (sometimes a little earlier, sometimes For a baby who is used to and reliant on falling to sleep a little later) babies do go through a period of change when under a certain set of conditions, whether that be being it comes to their sleep. Prior to this, sleep for babies is fed, held, rocked, bounced on a gym ball and so on, the relatively basic. A sleep cycle consists of two stages – “light changes that occur around this four-month period can be (or active)” sleep and “deep (or quiet)” sleep. If a newborn tough. baby is healthy, well fed, warm, clean, in the correct sleeping environment and has all the correct processes and
33 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Why? Because when they fall to sleep, then when they By encouraging independent sleep and settling from the rouse or wake fully while trying to move their way through very start, babies of all ages can and will settle and sleep the multiple stages within the sleep cycle and into the independently if, you set them up correctly and you allow
BABY | EXPERT ADVICE next one, chances are they will need those conditions i.e. them time and space to get there on their own without being held, fed, rocked etc. repeated to fall back to sleep. constant interference and interruption (well meaning of They might rouse or fully wake 20 minutes in, 30 minutes course), you can move through the four Month Sleep in, 40 minutes in and because they don’t know how to put Change period without too much fuss. Just like we did. themselves back to sleep without Mum or Dad, they cry out for help. This pattern is not only exhausting for the baby, Tips to help you during the four month it’s also stressful, exhausting and very frustrating for the parents or carer. sleep change period • If your baby isn’t self-settling in the lead up to this period, On the flip side, for a baby who is already in a great routine work on eliminating any sleep aids you may be using to has all the right processes and foundations in place, who get your baby to sleep i.e. feeding, rocking, holding, the can self-settle and who falls to sleep independently in their dummy etc. and start putting your baby down in their cot own cot or bassinet yes, they will go through the same or bassinet by themselves so they can explore their own changes to their sleep cycles. The difference is that when ways to fall to sleep independently. they move through the different stages within the cycle, they will rouse or wake fully but then be able to fall back to • Make sure your baby is getting the optimum amount sleep on their own often without anyone even knowing. of sleep for their age, day and night so they are not exhausted and overtired. An overtired baby will always In a healthy, well rested baby in a solid daily pattern of find it a lot harder to fall to sleep and fall back to sleep feeding, sleeping and waking, who has all their basic than a well-rested baby. needs met, the 3-4 months period of sleep change should simply come and go. And this is exactly what happened in • Understand that your baby has basic needs, in that they our house. I do remember at times hearing our youngest need to sleep, be well fed, clean, dry, warm and cozy, Edward wake and fuss or cry out several times a night (and comfortable, and if you meet their needs, they will be able this is outside of waking to feed) during this four-month to happily fall to sleep and put themselves back to sleep period, however I would listen, give him time and he would when they rouse or wake fully in between the different settle himself back to sleep. If Edward was reliant on being stages of the sleep cycle and in between sleep cycles. fed, help, rocked to sleep and so on, then we would have • If your baby is unsettled during this time and finding it been in and out of his room getting him back to sleep and hard to adapt to the changes in their sleep, do comfort it would have been a nightmare, a nightmare like it is for them any time they need. But remember, the more so many Mums and Dads who are struggling through this intervention, the more you interfere with your baby’s phase. natural ability to fall to sleep. And the more intervention your baby needs, the more intervention your baby will The ‘four month sleep regression’ shouldn’t become reliant on. really be called that name It should be called the “four Month Sleep Change”. Because yes, all babies will go through a change in the way they sleep, that you can’t avoid. However, not all babies will regress with their sleep at this time.
34 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Believe it or not, your baby doesn’t actually hate sleep
By Maryanne Sayers
It may not seem like it sometimes, but all babies love sleep.
So, you are convinced your baby / toddler hates sleep, or families, and understandably so if they have a baby who battles sleep or doesn’t need sleep? I am going to kybosh is sleeping poorly. These families have tried anything and that notion, though I do understand why parents would everything to get their baby to sleep. think that when they have been on struggle street with their babies’ or toddlers’ sleep for months or even years. However, for the vast majority of these families (I’d like to say for “all” of these families as that is certainly my Our babies NEED sleep, our babies WANT sleep and our experience, but I’ll stop short of saying that here) – there babies CAN sleep (and just a qualifier, I am referring to are fundamental issues with the foundations and processes healthy babies with no underlying medical or health issues which are just not set up where they should be, and as such here in this article). is completely working against the baby’s natural ability to fall asleep and against the natural body clock timings with But before they can sleep well, everything else must be set sleep, feed and wake cycles. up correctly for them in regards to their sleep and routine foundations. My philosophies are as follows: The foundations encompass a large range of areas All babies LOVE sleep: They CAN sleep and they WANT to BABY | EXPERT ADVICE including the going to sleep process, understanding their sleep. PROVIDED everything is set up for them. There is NO natural sleep, feed and wake cycles, ensuring they have baby on this earth who hates sleep. the ideal sleep space and sleep environment, having a consistent bedtime and a consistent lead in to bedtime, Routine from Day One for all babies: Routine simply means understanding that their daytime and night-time being set structure and consistency around their sleep, feed and up in line with their body clock, responding to tired signs, wake cycles. Babies THRIVE on and NEED consistency to the timings and all the processes and a number of other fall into their natural rhythms of sleep times, feed times and areas as well. awake times.
When I work with families, I am providing ALL of those Independent sleep for babies is what I advocate: Providing families with the exact same information in relation to the a safe sleep space for your baby. Whilst I respect and setting up of foundations and meeting their baby’s basic understand that some families choose to happily (very needs around their sleep feed and wake cycles. It is not a happily) co-sleep with their babies, often as part of case of providing one lot of information to this family and attachment parenting philosophy, these are not the families another lot of information to that family. The information I am coming into contact with. Thousands of families are and guidance I provide to all the families I work with is co-sleeping out of desperation and exhaustion, because consistent across the board in ensuring that ALL the basic they see no other way. If this is you, please do know that foundations are firstly understood and secondly set up with the right changes and setting up the foundations and correctly. processes correctly, your baby can and will sleep very well independently.
Babies’ needs are the same All babies can put themselves to sleep, provided Yes, babies have different temperaments, different everything is set up right for them: Human babies, like any personalities, different physical characteristics. Absolutely baby of the mammal species have a primal and biological they do. They are all individuals in that regard. No question response to tiredness, which is … to sleep. In other words, on that. However in relation to sleep requirements, their having a natural relationship with sleep where they can go needs are all pretty much the same relative to age. to sleep easily for no other reason, other than simply that they are tired. So, if we had a roomful of 20 eight-month-old babies, they would all have the same or very similar requirements in Break the cycle regards to sleep. It’s not like this baby over here – he only needs X hours of sleep in a 24-hour period. And this baby Trust me when I say your baby wants to sleep just as much over here – he needs Y hours of sleep. Oh and that one over as you want your baby to sleep. You are actually both there, she needs Z hours of sleep. In fact, all of those eight- wanting the same thing. But right now, you are both caught month-olds all require the same (or very similar) amount of in the same exhausting and relentless cycle - which is on sleep. repeat day in, day out. Time to break the cycle once and for all. You will see your baby’s sleep in a whole different The perception that all babies have different needs and way when you see how easily and naturally it flows, once requirements in regards to sleep has evolved as a product everything has been reset and it’s all set up as it needs to be. of the overall bigger picture issues around baby sleep. It is an assumption and it is “perceived” to be the case by many There is no baby on this earth who hates sleep!
35 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Taking the emotion out of baby sleep
By Steph Gouin The secret to a good night’s sleep for your baby.
The more work I do as a sleep consultant, the more I realise Top tip how important it is that we Remove the look at sleep from a scientific emotion from the standpoint and not from an situation emotional one.
Sleep, especially baby and child sleep, has become such an emotional topic of discussion. I completely understand why people get emotional about sleep because when you’re struggling to get your child to sleep and your feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, it’s hard not to get emotional about it.
When you go day after day, week after week, month after BABY | EXPERT ADVICE month battling to get more than a few hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep, it’s hard not to want to cry your eyes feed, touch your baby whenever they need it” and if you out. But the more emotional parents get about their child’s don’t, you are risking the bond and the attachment you will sleep (or lack thereof), the harder it becomes to take a step have with your child. back, remove the emotion from the situation and look at sleep for what it really is. I see sleep in a very different way. And whilst I do wholeheartedly encourage nurturing, bonding, secure A basic human need attachment between parents and child and so on, for me, sleep is about sleep. Sleep is about our bodies, our Sleep is a naturally recurring state of mind and body, hormones, our natural drive and our basic need. Sleep is characterized by altered consciousness, relatively inhibited about our environment. It’s about waking up in the morning sensory activity, inhibition of nearly all voluntary muscles, when the sun rises and going to bed at night when it’s dark. and reduced interactions with surroundings (thank you Sleep is about feeling tired and drifting off for no other Wikipedia). Notice the word NATURALLY. Yes, sleep is a reason than that. naturally occurring process.
Sleep is a basic human need and as I often say, we are all Don’t get caught up born biologically designed to sleep. We all have internal I work with many different families and I do find that the sleep systems in place. Each and every one of us has a 24- families who try their very best to take the emotion out hour body clock or circadian rhythm that controls when we of the situation and what we are trying to do (setting up sleep and when we wake. healthy sleep habits) achieve success far quicker and far easier than those families who are caught up in the whole Really, sleep should be a very easy, straightforward thing emotion of it. we all do, day in and day out. But it’s not. So, why is that? It’s very easy to get caught up in the emotion of it all when It shouldn’t be so hard there are some many people out there who say, “sleep Baby and child sleep has become such a complex, training and leaving your baby to cry will permanently complicated and controversial subject and I wonder if a lot damage your baby” and “if you leave your baby alone they of it has to do with the amount of emotion that has been will never trust you again.” brought into it. Many sleep experts out there really focus But if you put all that stuff to the side and see sleep for on the emotional side of things when it comes to helping what it really is, it becomes a lot easier to understand why families struggling with sleep. sleep is not happening, to make the changes that need to They are all about nurturing and protecting the emotional be made and to stick to them. wellbeing of the babies, children and families. They are all about “never leaving baby alone”, “never leaving baby to cry”, “always being there for your baby” and “cuddle, hold,
36 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Ultimate Sleep Guide Toddler Sleep How to know when it’s the right time to drop your toddler’s day sleep
It can be a tough call to make, but here are some signs your child is ready to drop their naps completely.
It’s the sentence no parent is ever quite ready for: I think it’s How much sleep do toddlers need? time to drop the naps. • By six months about 50 percent of babies are sleeping at “No!” you yell, “I’m not ready! I have so much more quiet least five hours in one continuous stretch at night. They downtime things I need to do!” are optimistically considered to be ‘sleeping through the night’. Well, unfortunately for your sanity, the time comes when day sleeps need to disappear in order for your little one to • If your toddler regularly sleeps for more than two hours get a better sleep through the night. during the day, waking him may encourage him to sleep longer at night.
• While day sleeps will still occur, as he approaches his first birthday, your child will get most of his sleep at night.
• Most children will continue to have two sleeps a day until 12 to 15 months, at which point they will transition to one day sleep. TODDLER | GENERAL ADVICE • Toddlers need 10-12 hours sleep a night. Most will continue to have a nap each day that lasts between one and two hours, until they are 3-4 years old.
• Toddlers sleep deepest between 8pm and midnight so getting them to sleep between 7 and 8pm will encourage quality sleep.
• 41 percent of young children between two and three years, will still wake once or twice a night, with a smaller percentage waking more often than that. How do you know when it’s time to drop a • Many toddlers will have had all the sleep they need nap? overnight by 5.30 - 6 am. There’s no cut off age or time when you have to drop the Exceptions to the rule … nap, obviously, every child is different and while some might have forcefully ditched it at two, others will still need As we know, every child is different so there are a few an extra snooze at three. exceptions to these rules. But here are some basic signs that your child is ready to Early wakers stay awake through the day: According to Jane Barry children who are transitioning • They’re having trouble sleeping at night- If their bedtime out of day sleeping, often need to go to bed a bit earlier at seems to be getting pushed later and later, it might be a night. sign they don’t need as much sleep during the day. “This is also the case if you have a child who is waking really • They don’t actually sleep during their nap -Naptime has early in the morning - like 3:30 or 4am. This is a sign that turned into a battle, your child just isn’t interested in any they actually need at least one daytime sleep.” shut-eye. Don’t fight it, just let it go. Growth spurts and change to routine • They are getting through the day without meltdowns -If you get to bedtime without an emotional, overtired Any period of growth or change can throw out the “no nap” wobbly (from your toddler that is, not you) then it’s good theory - so Jane advises being flexible and ready to adjust sign they are ready. to fit the needs of your child. • Nap time keeps getting later- If you’re hitting the Quiet time dreaded 4pm nap time then it’s probably worth it, for All children can benefit from a quiet period in their day, says everyone’s sanity, to try to encourage them to hold out a Jane. So even if your child is no longer taking a nap, don’t few more hours. overlook the benefits of them spending an hour resting in their rooms reading a book or playing quietly.
38 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE What you need to know when transitioning your child from cot to bed
By Dr Harvey Karp
It’s a big milestone for little people, but it isn’t without its pitfalls.
Saying goodbye to your child’s cot is a bittersweet milestone that may happen as early as 15 months or might not happen until after your tot’s third birthday, depending on your child. The transition often depends on your kiddo’s physical skills… but it’s important to make the move before your tyke becomes an escape artist.
Generally speaking, if your toddler seems like they are plotting their first cot break-out, or you’ve caught them vaulting commando-style over the railing, it’s probably Invest your child in the process
TODDLER | GENERAL ADVICE time to move them to a bed. One more thing to consider: If Take your kiddo shopping for bedding and let her have you’re expecting another baby, move your toddler out of the a say in what you choose! This will help her feel part of cot a few months before little baby brother or sister arrives. the transition process become enthused about her new sleeping space. First steps Prior to the transition, make sure the cot mattress is on its Safety first lowest level and that it’s free of any toys or bumpers that The downside to moving your toddler to a bed is that they your tot could use to hoist themselves over the railing. The can pop out anytime they want! That means you’ll need to top of the cot rail should be above their collarbone, and you take some extra precautions to keep them safe: should place a soft rug on the floor of the room with a non- slip mat under it)… just in case. Falls from that height can • Childproof the room really well. Cover electric outlets, result in serious injuries. keep curtain cords out of reach and address sharp corners. Once you’ve decided your tot is ready for a toddler bed, there are a few ways to get your toddler excited about the • Use a gate to keep them in her room. If they climb over it, move: take some time to train them to stay in the room or even close the door. Tell them something like, “Sweetie, this is Prepare during the day Mr Gate! Mr Gate will help you stay safe… so at bedtime, after we sing and read and say night-night… then we’ll Tired tots are especially resistant to change. Get your child close Mr Gate… and he will help you stay happy in your used to the new bed by making it a routine place for quiet room all night.” play or massage and napping during the day, times when she’ll be more flexible. • Consider a door knob cover. If the gate doesn’t do the trick, you may need to close the door and put a door Use familiar sleep cues knob cover on the inside of the door to her room to keep Sleep cues that your toddler is already used to, like a her safely inside. favourite lovey, white noise, or a familiar bedtime routine, can help ease the transition from cot to bed. Update their routine Along with upgrading your child’s bed, you’ll also want Tell special big-kid-bed stories to upgrade their bedtime routine! A toddler bedtime Make up stories or read books about how much fun it is to routine can help your tyke wind down and learn that sleep in a big-kid bed. Or make a special Beddy-Bye book they have expected to stay in bed. Here are a few tips on that you can peruse together every day with pictures of creating a toddler bedtime routine. You may also find my family members (and your dog!) asleep in their beds. favourite bedtime trick, Twinkle Interruptus (which involves stretching your tot’s patience so they get used to dozing Gossip off without Mum or Dad in the room) helpful during this transition! ‘Gossip’ to your child’s dollies or teddies during the day about how well she is adjusting to her new bed. (Gossip Moving a toddler from the cot to a bed is a big moment in makes praise more effective than if you delivered it directly your child’s life… and yours, too! As with all life changes, it to your tot!) can be a little stressful, but with a little planning, you should all be sleeping soundly soon. Good luck!
39 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE How to prepare your child for daylight saving (and save your sleep)
By Cheryl Fingleson
Get ready to turn the clock back for the end of daylight saving.
TODDLER | GENERAL ADVICE Cooler weather means better sleep. Both adults and children day to the next will almost guarantee the risk of leaving you tend to sleep better and more deeply in cooler temperatures. with a cranky child with all the challenges we’re desperately Even if it varies from person to person, a good temperature trying to avoid. Mornings can be particularly challenging, to aim for is 20°C. So make sure you don’t compensate when you are weighing up if your baby has had enough for the cooler weather by dressing your baby or child too sleep for the night (especially if your baby wakes up too warmly, as it might make her sleep restless. early). Early starts risk your child’s day naps and sleep routine, which can get thrown off leading to your child If your baby is younger than six months old, she will most becoming over-tired and harder to settle. likely adjust naturally within a few days, leaving you no need to worry at all. If your child is over eight months old, Moving your baby’s schedule on a strict feed and sleep schedule, or particularity sensitive to changes, you might want to start adjusting your whole This isn’t easy, but with a bit of planning you can routine now, before we turn the clock back. successfully move your baby’s schedule in the next week or two. This is especially important if your baby is already Adjusting to time change waking up too early. While adults find it easier to adjust to the change, some By transitioning slowly and starting early, you can move children will struggle, and by preparing early for the your baby’s whole routine by one hour before the time change, you are already on the right track! We all know too change. For example: well how precious that early morning hour is. If your baby normally wakes up at 6am, and you’d like her How it may affect your child (and you) to wake up at 6am after the time change, you should start by gradually adjusting her whole routine, including meal, You will notice during the colder months that your child play and day naps. Even 10 minutes each day will see you may want to go to bed slightly earlier in the evening, and ready when the clocks go back. that she sleeps longer at night. This is completely normal, as our sleep rhythm is affected by the sun and light. When daylight saving ends and you find yourself on the Furthermore, longer night sleeps may affect the day naps. journey returning to 6am (from what would otherwise If you find that the longer night sleeps cause your child to become 7am) you do exactly the same moving in the get exhausted during the days, you will need to shorten the opposite direction as early and as gradually as possible. night sleeps slightly, to allow more time for the day naps. During the adjustment or preparation period it might mean If your child tends to go to bed too late at night, and wakes you will be going earlier to bed and waking up earlier with up too late in the mornings, here’s your chance to bump her your child. If you’re persistent and patient, you’ll get there schedule into place, with a little help from daylight saving. and you’ll improve the sleeping habits of your whole family. Plan ahead and take baby steps Here’s why it matters When making adjustments to your child’s schedule, the Late bedtimes often lead to over-tiredness, which means trick is to make small incremental adjustments gradually restless nights for babies and toddlers, and earlier morning and to start as early as possible. This will assist your child to wake-up times. So keep an eye on your baby’s bedtime, and transition into place when the clocks change. if needed, make the changes slow and steady as early as possible so you’re ready when you’re approaching changes Any drastic changes to your child’s sleep routine from one to daylight saving.
40 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE How to help your toddler give up the bottle
By Maryanne Sayers
Bottles are a big reason you toddler will wake frequently and not consolidate sleep cycles.
For bottle-fed toddlers, a really common issue for parents Drop the night ones first is that the bottle has become an integral part of the going to sleep process, on which the toddler has become very Overnight bottles should be the first ones to be dropped – reliant. And often this means the toddler is actually falling toddlers over 12 months most definitely do not need to be asleep whilst having the bottle. fed overnight from a hunger perspective. If the overnight bottles have been used as part of a getting-your-toddler- Even though the bottles of milk may help the toddler to go back-to-sleep strategy – then initially they will be unsettled to sleep in the first place (which is generally why the bottles when you drop the bottles. This is only short term and it’s are happening), the bottles are a big reason why your about allowing them to self settle find their own way back toddler will wake frequently and just not have consolidated to sleep. sleep cycles. When they fall asleep on the bottle, the sleep TODDLER | GENERAL ADVICE conditions are changed i.e from how they “went” to sleep It’s important to mention here that if addressing overall (i.e with the bottle in mouth) to how they then “stay” asleep sleep issues, dropping the bottles becomes just ONE part (i.e no longer with bottle in mouth. When the conditions of an overall plan in addressing sleep / settling issues – so if of sleep are changed, this will always lead to wakings and you are struggling with it all please make sure you have the interrupted sleep cycles. right help on this from an appropriate professional. Simply dropping bottles is not going to address an overall sleep Knowing when to give it up issue with your toddler – and it is so important you have the right strategies and guidance on the overall bigger picture When working with families of babies under 12 months, I plan in resolving the sleep situation. By taking the bottles always follow the sleep / feed / uptime cycle during the away, you need to have the right understanding on what to day (meaning during the day, the feeds are at the start of do in relation to your baby self settling back to sleep when their uptime – so having bottle after their naps - rather than they wake, and no longer having the reliance on the bottles having their bottle right before their naps). meaning that eventually they are sleeping through the night with no wakings at all. Unless advised otherwise by your medical / health professional, healthy toddlers over 12 months no longer need to be having bottles of milk and so as part of an Then stop the rest overall plan relating to sleep issues, I am often providing Once the overnight bottles are dropped, then you can drop guidance to families on how to wean their toddler off the the daytime bottles one by one. The easiest one to drop bottles. The only beverage for toddlers over 12 months first is the middle of the day bottle (or any bottle your should be water, water ,water! toddler is having during the daytime). Then a few days later – drop the morning bottle. Then a few days after that – Toddlers don’t need milk in bottles drop the bedtime bottle. If you wanted to keep the bedtime bottle in place for a while that is OK, but in saying that by Toddlers get all of their calcium requirements from other the time a toddler is 18 months of age, I would definitely dairy sources such as cheese, yoghurt, milk on cereal etc. have dropped the bedtime bottle. Endless bottles of milk are just unnecessary and often impact their interest and appetite for solids, because they Trust me when I say that bottles given to your toddler as are so “milk-full” around the clock. And as previously part of the going to sleep process (or going BACK to sleep mentioned, bottles of milk are often used as a means to process) will not resolve a toddler’s sleep issues. In fact, get a toddler to sleep which simply ends up causing issues by continuing the bottles, all you are doing is re-enforcing with their overall sleep cycles – meaning the toddler is the wakings. Words cannot explain what a difference it constantly in an overtired cycle all the time. makes having a toddler who is going to sleep and sleeping beautifully through the night and for the day naps for no In weaning your toddler off bottles of milk, I am all about other reason than simply that they are tired. Having that cutting to the chase pretty quickly. There is no need for natural easy relationship with sleep, which every baby and this to be drawn out over several weeks or months. I am all toddler on this earth wants. They just need everything about keeping things very simple – and if the aim is to stop set up right for them to stop them from getting into a the bottles – than you simply need to … stop the bottles ! chronically overtired cycle every day.
41 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE I tried ‘bedtime fading’ on my
TODDLER | GENERAL ADVICE 3-year-old and this is what I learnt
By Claire Haiek It could have been the added bribery, but whatever it was, it has changed our lives.
There is no hotter topic in parenting circles than that of You see, rather than suggesting I let my kids scream the sleep. When the topic is raised, most parents slide into two house down, or duct tape them to their beds, this method categories: those that are so proud of their amazing sleeper seemed pretty relaxed. they just have to shout it from the rooftops; and those that feel like such a failure they slink back into their chair as they It was definitely something I could get on board with, and frantically try to change the topic. seemed like a really logical way to achieve a one-way ticket to Sleepytown. “HOW about those teething poos?!” I’ve blurted out once or twice to direct the focus elsewhere. And I’m shocked to say that it’s worked. You see, I’m from the latter group. I’ve had many a parent What is ‘Bedtime Fading’? tell me their little ones sleep 12 hours straight and would Bedtime fading is about finding your child’s optimal even sleep while a freight train passed through their sleeping time. bedroom. If this is you, congratulations. You can probably stop reading now. You can do this by keeping a record of what time your child goes to bed and timing how long it takes for them to fall I confess ... asleep, and adjusting accordingly. Basically you give each I have three children, and right from the beginning I have bedtime a few nights and if your child is still taking a long breastfed or cuddled my babies to sleep. Even after they time to fall asleep, move their bedtime 15 minutes later and were weaned, all three of my kids have needed me in the try again. room to go to sleep. Some would say (and have, on several The aim is to find your child’s sweet spot, the time that they occasions) that I was making a rod for my own back. will happily fall asleep without too much effort on your part. Others would suggest it was actually MY problem, not theirs, and they’re probably right too. Whatever the reason Before trying this out, my daughter’s routine was generally is, I have never been able to just put my kids down to sleep like this: and get a solid eight hours of sleep at night. • Read book in bed, 8pm My eldest has just turned 10 and my youngest is three years old, so with the lure or more than four hours of sleep in a • Lights out 8.15 and Olivia fights sleep for at least half an row, I decided now was the time to do something about it. hour, often an hour or more. Normally I fall asleep before she does. I recently wrote an article on ‘bedtime fading’, and the whole time I was researching and writing up my findings I was • I wake up 10pm, grumpily get uniforms and lunches ready itching to give it a try with Olivia, my youngest sleep bandit. for next day
42 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Here’s how it went down with us The first night was enlightening. I put Olivia down at 8pm and it took her 53 minutes to fall asleep, which is a lot of time when you’re husband works night shift and you have other children and school lunches to prepare. The shocking thing was that she only woke ONCE that first night. This is unheard of, and probably a huge testament to our bribing TODDLER | GENERAL ADVICE skills.
The next night it took 40 minutes for her to fall asleep, so we moved to 8.15 for the third night.
With an 8.15 bedtime, it took Olivia 36 minutes to fall asleep, then 15 minutes the next night and 56 minutes the • I go to bed at 11pm night after. The middle night of success was after a day of no napping. She still naps at daycare four days a week, • Olivia wakes up between midnight and 1am and I bring so I decided those days would have to be handled slightly her into my bed differently.
• I re-settle her between three and 86 times through the We moved to a bedtime of 8.30 and I stopped lying in bed night with her. Sitting on a chair next to her bed, I watched her • I wake up at 4.45am for work doze off for the next few nights. It took 27 minutes for her to fall asleep, then 32 minutes, but her waking at night was Needless to say, I was often a very grumpy and short- happening much less. And settling her was only a matter tempered mother with dark circles under my bloodshot of walking into her room, gently lying her back down, and eyes who just wanted a few hours’ uninterrupted sleep. walking back out again. This was a HUGE improvement from lying down in bed with her where she would wrap her We waited until we shuffled our kids around and Olivia got arms around my neck so tightly that she would wake the her own bedroom. We decorated and painted a queen- second I tried to escape. sized bed we had in storage. We got her a new mattress, added a mosquito net above her bed and started calling it This was a game-changer! her ‘Princess bed’. Now Olivia’s bedtime routine is the same, but instead of For good measure, I threw the age-old parenting trick of lying in her bed, I sit on a chair in her room and read a bribery into the mix. We had lots of chats about how she’s book. Within 15 minutes she’s asleep where she will either a big girl now, and if she sleeps in her own bed for a whole stay until 4am, or wake once and resettle easily. It’s not night, Mummy and Daddy will get her a special treat. Look, perfect, but it’s a massive step up from where we were a I know some of you are going to judge, but we’re talking few months ago. a tiny Shopkins here and there, spaced further apart with each treat. I always said that all kids need is time. My boys are now eight and 10 years old, and no longer need me to help them We were desperate, we would have spent hundreds to get a drift off to sleep, so I was simply waiting for the time that full night’s sleep in a hotel room without the kids, so what’s Olivia did the same. Maybe being my last baby made it a a few dollars here and there if it helps sweeten the deal? little more difficult for us both, but at the end of the day, bedtime fading and a little bribery has gone a long way.
43 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE 6 common toddler sleep problems and how to solve them
By Dr Harvey Karp
How to make sure what happens in the day doesn’t ruin the night.
Naps are your best friend when it comes to keeping your My toddler’s naps are too long. How do I tyke healthy and happy. They help restore energy, boost memory, improve mood, foster attention, reinvigorate the change their schedule? immune system, and keep stress at bay. Not to mention, If your tot naps for a long time and also sleeps well at night they give Mum and Dad a much-needed break! … congratulations! You hit the parental jackpot. But it’s more likely that kids who nap a long time during the day However, as blissful as that sounds, toddler naps can need a later bedtime … or wake more often at night. sometimes be a source of tension, too, and it can be tricky to strike just the right balance of daytime sleep. Here are If you want to shift your child’s sleep schedule, try some common napping questions … and some answers! shortening their afternoon nap by 15 minutes and start their bedtime routine a little closer to the time they actually fall asleep. If that goes well, shorten their nap again and move their bedtime another 15 minutes earlier. Why is naptime such a battle? TODDLER | GENERAL ADVICE The main reasons your toddler may fight you when it comes time to nap are either they are overtired or they are overstimulated.
If you notice that your tot gets really tired during the day (dozes in the car, slumps over before naptime rolls around, is cranky at dinnertime), try putting them down to nap 20 minutes earlier.
If you think your tot is overstimulated, implement a wind- down routine. Thirty minutes before naptime, engage in quiet play and play soft white noise—this will give your little one a clue that sleep time is coming. Then, for the nap, make sure the room is dark and put on some rumbly white noise. Will skipping a nap help my toddler sleep better at night? My toddler fights their afternoon nap ... There’s only one way to know for sure how skipping a nap should I just let them ‘cry it out’? will affect your tyke: Go the whole day without a nap. Most The cry-it-out method is tough to use for naps because likely, they’ll be fussy, tearful, or explosive come evening some tenacious tots will wail for 30 to 60 minutes. By then, - this is because your tot’s stress will build and build naptime has passed and everyone’s a little grumpy. So even throughout the day without a stress-busting nap to relieve if you are using or have used ‘cry-it-out’ at night, I’d avoid it some pressure! for naps. How will I know when my toddler’s ready to Once your toddler masters night sleeping, it’s likely their day sleeping will get better too! But if not, try the twinkle go from one nap to none? interruptus method of sleep training. An early sign that you’re nearing the end of your naptime days is when your child sleeps at preschool or daycare but My toddler is alert and having fun ... can skips it on the weekend. For most kids, this last nap hurrah naptime wait until they are sleepy? happens gradually - they’ll nap some days and not others. Don’t wait until your love bug “looks sleepy” (this applies Eventually, your tot will switch from naptime to afternoon to night time sleep, too!). Your tot will sleep longer if you quiet time. When your toddler gives up her last nap, they’ll put them down before they are overtired. Once they start run out of steam earlier in the day, so you may need to rubbing their eyes and yawning, you may have already move bedtime or dinnertime up an hour. missed the window a bit. Surprisingly, four-year-olds tend to hit the hay earlier than 18-month-olds! Once napping is finished, that’s how they’ll get the 10 to 12 hours of sleep a day they need.
44 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Top tip Start a simple bedtime routine early on
Toddler bedtime tips: Setting a good sleep routine
By Margaret Rafferty
A concern and frustration that most parents of toddlers face is sleep and sleeping patterns. If you’re a parent who is troubled by your toddler’s sleep, it may help to know that you’re not alone.
Between the ages of two and three, it’s predicted that Try not to make your toddler’s sleep ritual too complicated around 40 percent of toddlers are waking once or twice a - or your may spend half your night trying to wind down! TODDLER | ROUTINES night, with some waking even more often. ‘Help! My toddler keeps waking up’ How much sleep does my toddler need? If your toddler wakes up, gets up out of his bed or keeps Many parents worry that their child is not actually getting calling out at night, simply put him back in bed and tuck enough sleep. Most toddlers need about 10 - 12 hours of him in again. Keep words to a minimum. Toddlers may often sleep overnight, with many toddlers requiring a nap during want you to be near while they go to sleep. the day of an hour or two. Toddlers tend to get their best quality and deepest sleep between 8pm and midnight, so Tactics for helping your toddler settle it’s important that they are settled and asleep by this time. • Sit near and relax yourself, read a book or listen to music. For most toddlers, they will have had their required amount Each night you can move further towards the door until of sleep between about 5.30am and 6.30am. you’re out and your toddler can settle on his own. A good toddler sleep routine • Your toddler may want to snuggle with something of Many parents often struggle getting their toddler to bed yours, like a T-shirt. at night, and trying to settle a reluctant toddler can be • Tell your child you’re not far away and keep coming back traumatic for families, and may even result in a tantrum. and checking on him. A simple bedtime routine or ritual, which can be started very early on, helps a toddler to know what’s expected • If you say you’ll stay with him, don’t sneak out or this may and encourages him to settle down easily for the night. make your toddler more anxious. To create a truly effective sleep schedule, it’s important to ensure your toddler’s pre-bed routine happens at the same How a toddler’s day can affect sleep time each night. If your toddler is hard to settle at night, has restless sleep or Even as adults we have routines that help prepare us for wakes up often during the night, there may be something sleep, such as having a warm drink or reading a book. happening during the day that’s affecting his sleep routine. Experts say that this is part of good sleep hygiene and can make a big difference to how you sleep. The same is true Things that can affect toddler sleep for routines for toddlers. • Is he sleeping too much during the day? Try cutting back A toddler bedtime routine to encourage sleep how long he’s napping or you may need to drop the sleep altogether if he’s around three years old. • Dinner • Is he not sleeping enough during the day? An overtired • Warm bath toddler can find it hard to sleep at night, so it’s important that they get enough rest during the day, especially a • Milk drink younger toddler.
• Quiet song or story • Is he getting enough attention during the day? Children and toddlers need a certain amount of attention and if • Getting into bed with a special toy or blanket they’re not getting it during the day they make wake at night.
45 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE How to survive the 18-month sleep regression
By Pilar Mitchell
You thought you had a good sleeper. Boy were you wrong.
So you think your baby is a good sleeper. Maybe you’ve been sitting in mother’s group every week for four months feeling a little smug and a lot lucky as you hear stories of five feeds a night and hours spent rocking screaming babies. much time resisting sleep, they end up overtired and unable Or maybe you’ve been at it for a year and a half. You made to sleep. it through sleep training and dropping naps and you think you’re out of the woods. The solution is routine. “Your child can’t tell time, and he can’t tell that he should be going to bed,” says Boucher. You are so not out of the woods. The 18-month sleep “But if he knows there is a similar short sequence preceding regression is a thing. (So is the four-month regression, but bedtime, he can prepare himself to go down [quickly].” that’s a story for another time). Night wakings are trickier and might require a steely Sleep experts say it coincides with the time when a baby resolve. If they’re in a big-girl-or-boy- bed, your toddler becomes a toddler. might turn up in your room in the middle of the night. TODDLER | ROUTINES “For many parenting experts, ‘toddler’ is the term used If you’re weak like me (and you secretly love the cuddles) after 12 months, or after a baby starts walking,” Baby Sleep you might let them sleep in your bed. If you believe grown- Science expert, Dr Evans writes. up beds are for grown-ups, sleep psychologist Lynelle Schneeberg recommends sitting in a chair in your child’s “When it comes to sleep, the graduation from ‘baby’ sleep room until she falls asleep. to ‘toddler’ sleep usually happens around 18 months.” “The tried and true baby bedtime you’ve had for months It’s normal. Wait it out stops working.” Some believe the “regression” actually has nothing to do with sleep and everything to do with milestones. Time to drop a nap There are lots of different developmental milestones and When children transition from baby to toddler, go from two they can be physical - like (rolling over, crawling, cruising naps to one, says Dr Evans. around and finally, walking); or emotional and involve “The sleep regression that many toddlers experience things like separation anxiety and clinginess to one - or is caused by an explosion of cognitive and emotional both - parents. They can also be neurological, when critical development.” periods of development are happening in your baby’s world. It can affect bedtime. “Recent research has shown that the biological bedtime conferred by the circadian rhythm drifts You’ve probably noticed these development periods. They by as much as an hour later during toddlerhood. can manifest as clingy, fussy behaviour, and as disruption to a baby’s sleep pattern. Hence the regression. “In other words, the tried and true baby bedtime you’ve had for months stops working.” This too shall pass In short, it’s the worst. You end up with a child who’s What does that mean for you? The adage “this too shall dropped a nap and is exhausted as a consequence. But pass” applies here. There’s not much you can do about your will he sleep at bedtime? No way. “The strongest drive to baby hitting milestones or following the sleep patterns of be awake happens right before the biological bedtime,” Dr billions of babies that came before it. Evans says. Like with so many things about parenthood, this is one of ‘It’s a maturation rather than a regression’ those situations where you might just have to wait it out. Paediatrician Phil Boucher calls the 18-month regression a In other words, your baby will sleep again. You will sleep “sleep maturation or evolution”. again.
“These sleep changes are entirely normal and an expected (Until he’s 17 and he borrows your car to go to a party and part of development,” he told Today’s Parent. it’s 1am and his phone is switched off. You won’t be sleeping then either.) The sleep evolution comes with a lot of behavioural change and pushing boundaries. Bedtime and naptime stretch for what seems like forever, and toddlers sometimes spend so
46 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE How much sleep your child actually needs based on their age
By Lucy Devine
But with kids constantly trying to extend the time they go to sleep, how do we know what the right time is?
Eight years old At eight years old, Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic suggests 10 hours 15 minutes.
Nine years old Aged nine, this drops to 10 hours.
10 years old Once your child hits double figures, their sleep requirements reduce to nine hours 45 minutes.
11 years old Nine hours 30 minutes is ideal for an 11-year-old. TODDLER | ROUTINES Babies, children and teenagers need much more sleep than 12 years old we do. At 12, nine hours and 15 minutes sleep is recommended. While the current recommended number of hours for adults is between seven and nine per night, growing kids need 13 years old more to support their mental and physical development. Once your child hits their teenage years, nine hours and 15 But with kids often resisting bedtime or struggling to get to minutes is a good number to work to. sleep, it’s difficult to know how much shut-eye they really need. 14 years old At 14, this reduces to nine hours. Here are the guidelines from Millpond Children’s Sleep Clinic (via the NHS in the UK) and the National Sleep Foundation 15 years old - so you know exactly when to turn out the lights. Nine hours at night time. Two years old 16 years old One hour 30 minutes in the day, followed by 11 hours 30 minutes at night time. Nine hours at night time.
Three years old 17 years old Up to 45 minutes in the day, followed by 11 hours 30 Eight-10 hours is recommended, as per advice from the minutes - 12 hours at night time. National Sleep Foundation.
Four years old As a guideline, children of four do not require a nap in the day, but at night time, 11 hours 30 minutes is recommended.
Five years old 11 hours each night is the suggested amount of sleep for a five-year-old child.
Six years old At six, this reduces to 10 hours 45 minutes.
Seven years old 10 hours 30 minutes is ideal for a seven-year-old.
47 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE The weighted koala that saved my sleep
By Jenna Martin
After two-and-a-half years of hellish sleepless nights, my son and I received a little, furry, marsupial miracle.
There isn’t a parent alive who doesn’t know the pain of sleep deprivation. Even if you had one of those unicorn babies who slept through from six weeks, (and if so, I hate you) you still understand the exhaustion that comes from caring for another human being, 24/7.
My son is two and a half years old. And until three weeks ago, he had never - ever - slept more than two hours in a
TODDLER | SLEEP AID REVIEWS stretch, day or night. I am also a single parent and I work full-time. There’s no one sharing the load. If he’s awake at 2am, so am I. And so I have been since June 2017. I’m not exaggerating when I say I literally do not remember what a good nights’ sleep feels like. You name it, I’ve tried it I breastfed, I formula fed and I started him on solids early, just in case hunger was the reason he was restless.
We tried white noise, dummies, comforters and I paid a sleep expert to come and stay. We tried co-sleeping and sleep training. We experimented with room temperature, essential oils, diet, and his bedclothes.
I went to sleep school for a whole week. Twice. We saw a paediatrician, an ear nose and throat specialist, a naturopath and a chiropractor. We did a sleep study. He had his adenoids out and, finally, in desperation, we tried some mild sedatives, mainly to help cure the night terrors he started having at about 18months old.
Nothing was wrong with him, but nothing made it better. He’d go to sleep (usually after a bit of a fight) and within two hours he’d be awake, screaming. I’d resettle him and like clockwork, two hours later, it’d happen again. Rinse and repeat, all night long.
And then, three weeks ago, a 1.3kg marsupial arrived on my desk at work.
By midnight, he still hadn’t stirred. I crept in to check on I was sceptical him. He’d switched position, but Gus was still by his side, As I said, I’ve tried everything, so when Neptune Weighted keeping him safe and warm. Blankets asked me to try out their new range of weighted toys, I hesitantly said yes. After all, I gave my kid (doctor At 3am I woke with a jolt, thinking I heard screams but I approved) drugs and he still didn’t sleep. But, with the false must have been dreaming. The house was silent. And my hope that gets most parents through the day, I named son was still asleep. He stayed that way until 5.30 when he the furry fella ‘Gus’ and lugged him home on the train to woke, calling my name, ready to start the day. present to my son that night. He had slept through for the first time ever. We had the usual bedtime struggles, but by 8.30pm he was snoozing soundly, Gus cuddled up alongside him.
48 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE The furry little game-changer furs, depending on your child’s sensory needs. While I was testing it to help our sleep issues, they’re also great for kids It has now been three weeks. While I can’t say every night with ADHD, anxiety and those with sensory processing has been perfect, the difference has been astonishing. He disorders. still fights going to sleep and he still wakes up at stupid o’clock, demanding Weetbix and ready to start the day. But While the Koala is super soft and cuddly, Ernie the Emu on average, he’s sleeping, undisturbed, from about 8.30pm has long fur you can run your fingers through, which some to 4.30am every night. And I’ll take that. anxious kids might find very soothing. Perry the Platypus has a smoother linen feel, which some kids might prefer. Just like weighted blankets help adults (and children) with anxiety, these weighted cuddly toys seem to have a calming It should be noted that they’re not designed for use in effect on little kids. I’m not sure if he feels like someone children under the age of two, and you should always is next to him, or he just feels comforted by the warmth, continue to observe safe sleep practices with your little texture and weight, but either way, it’s made the world of ones. Extra toys - especially heavy ones - have no place in difference. Even if he stirs, he seems to cuddle Gus and slip the bed of an infant. But for older toddlers and bigger kids, straight back to sleep. Before, he’d be screaming out for me. I would recommend them without hesitation. It may have taken two-and-a-half years, but finally, I’ve remembered Different toys for different needs what sleep feels like. And more importantly, my son is getting the rest he so badly needs. Neptune has three different toys on offer: Coolah (aka Gus) the Koala, Ernie the Emu and Perry the Platypus. They’re all 1.3kg and around 35cm tall, and each has a range of TODDLER | SLEEP AID REVIEWS Top tip Weighted toys are not designed for children under the age of two
49 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Sleep aids for kids: The best Gro Company sleep gadgets for daylight saving
By Jenna Martin
Changing the time doesn’t have to throw your sleep schedule into disarray. We road-tested some brilliant products to guarantee a good night’s rest.
I am one of those mothers who absolutely dread daylight The Gro Company Groclock, $37.95 at Catch saving. While I love that springing forward means the days My son struggles to understand that 2am isn’t party time. are getting longer and warmer and summer is on the way, So, we got a Groclock. How do you get a two-and-a-half- I’m terrified of what a change - even a small change - will year-old - who can’t tell the time - to understand that it’s do to my son’s sleep routine. too early to get up? Simple! You get tell them to “stay in See, I have a chronically terrible sleeper. Bedtime is a bed until you see the sun!” moveable feast, happening anywhere from 7-10pm and on The Groclock uses adorable images of the stars and sun average, we’re up and ready to start our day as the clock is to let your child know if it’s day or night. If it’s still blue, striking five. snuggle back to sleep. If it’s yellow, rise and shine! While I TODDLER | SLEEP AID REVIEWS Yep. I’m truly #blessed. So I need all the help I can get, admit my son hasn’t quite got the hang of staying put until especially when the clocks change. he sees the sun, he does enjoy waking me up to tell me “The clock is still blue, Mummy, the clock is still blue!” And The Gro Company then we climb back into bed together. So we’re halfway there. (He is only two-and-a-half, after all, I’ll give him a bit I was very keen to try some of the awesome products from longer!) The Gro Company, specifically designed to help kids get to sleep - and stay asleep. We’re very familiar with The Gro Anywhere Blackout Blind, $24.95 at Chemist Gro Company in our family; my son was a winter baby - and a fidgety one at that - so he spent most of his early Direct life tucked up in Grobags- and then Grorompers- to stay You know when you are staying in a fancy hotel and there nice and toasty on cold nights. We also have a lot of love are blockout blinds and you go to sleep at night and wake for Ollie the Owl with his soothing melodies and calming up after eight solid hours? You have no idea what time it is nightlight: he’s since been passed on to another baby, but because it’s pitch black so you figure it must be the middle for the first year of his life he was a firm friend for my little of the night but it’s actually 9am. Yeah, me either. man. Admittedly, it’s been a very long time since I had a full Now my son is a toddler, we’ve got a whole new series night’s sleep, but the Gro Anywhere Blackout Blind does of sleep challenges like being in his own big boy bed and help keep the pesky morning light at bay for a little being able to get up and come harass me whenever he likes longer- especially around this time of year. We use it at - even at 2am. home behind the shutters, but it’s great for travel and we often chuck it in the car when we don’t know the ‘curtain’ situation of the place we’ll be staying. With velcro fastening and suction caps, it can stick onto pretty much any window. Perfect for those impromptu afternoon naps at Nanna’s and even more perfect for summer-holiday sleep-ins.
Groromper, from $37.92 at Amazon Even if your kid is big enough for a bed, there’s no guarantee they’ll stay there. My son does 180s in his bed almost every night and while he may start with a doona on, it rarely stays there. The Groromper is a great answer. Your all-in-one bedding solution, it’s worn in place of blankets and helps keep kids warm throughout the night. It’s convertible from a bag to a onesie, so once your kid is on the move, they don’t have to feel restrained. I can’t show you a picture of my son wearing one because, well, he flat-out refused to let me take his photo (because, #terribletwos!) but trust me, he loves it to bits and looks bloody adorable to boot!
50 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE The book that halved my kid’s bedtime routine
By Eliza Cracknell
Author Forssen Ehrlin is a Swedish behavioural scientist who has sold over 1.5 million copies of his first sleep promotion book, The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep.
My eldest son was always a great sleeper. He first slept He also suggests being persistent and making the book a through at eight weeks and constantly did so until he was habit - read it over and over until they fall asleep and read it around two years old. I was very smug. every night.
A little too smug in fact. “I remember a letter from one family in particular who said that bedtime could take up to five hours each evening. So Because as quick as you can say ‘he’s asleep’ it all came they started reading The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep,” crashing down. My night angel refused to go to bed, would Forssen Ehrlinwrites in the back of the book. “The first cry, kick, scream, and demand me to sit next to him for evening, they read the whole story two and a half times several hours. Then once asleep, would have multiple night before their child fell asleep. The following evening, they TODDLER | SLEEP AID REVIEWS wakes. only needed to read the story once. Over the next few After six long months (and lots of money spent on evenings, the length of time shrank further, and by the time nightlights and lavender oils), he was diagnosed with sleep they sent their letter, a week or so later, they were down to apnea - had his tonsils removed and his sleep overnight about eight minutes per evening.” improved. But, like any three year old, he is difficult to get to bed - why sleep when there is an entire cast of Cars 3 Night one waiting for you on the floor? I cuddled into bed with my son and started reading. He didn’t like when I used his name, instead he wanted me Our nighttime routine to say his brother’s name. But apart from that he listened A bath, stories then my husband or I sitting with him until attentively. The story is quite basic and wordy so I was he falls asleep. Sometimes we have to stroke his back, play worried he’d lose interest as his usual mode is dinosaurs an audiobook or hold his hand. On rare occasions he falls and race cars. He was still pretty restless - pinching me, asleep without us - most of the time he doesn’t. The routine jumping up and down, poking my ear - until the second last therefore clocks in at about two hours, sometimes three- page when I suddenly felt stillness and deep breathing - he four hours on bad nights. was asleep!
Selfishlessly it eats into time with my husband / time with This was the first time he’d fallen asleep when I read to him my Netflix streaming list, so I’m constantly on the lookout ever! for ideas that streamline the process. The next night I tried it again, this time he had napped in Enter: The Little Elephant Who Wants to Fall Asleep by the day which normally leads to a bedtime of around 9pm, Carl-Johan Forssen Ehrlin. he didn’t fall asleep while listening to the story but after I read it I only needed to sit with him for around 10 mins and We had tried the audiobook in the past and it hadn’t he was asleep by 8pm. worked to calm him or put him to sleep but we stumbled across the book in the library so I borrowed it anyway. Sleep at last! In Forssen Ehrlin explains that the book isn’t intended to The premise replace picture books and chapter books - it’s meant to be It’s written to have a sleep-promoting effect. Author for specific times when you’re child is about to sleep so you Forssen Ehrlin is a Swedish behavioural scientist who has don’t want it to be too exciting. sold over 1.5 million copies of his first book of the same concept The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep. Now I think about it, maybe what I was reading to my son before had stimulated his imagination too much causing While the story is about an Elephant who walks through him to take longer to go to sleep. But I’m no behavioral a magic forest that leads to his bed, it’s not really the plot scientist, I’m a mere mum who wants her wine sooner that’s important, it’s the language and its delivery. Forssen rather than later. Ehrlin gives tips and tricks on how to use the book to really assist with the bedtime routine. There are points in the A week in, I’m not back to an angel sleeper but it has made story where he encourages you to emphasise words, speak bedtime easier. More TV, less back stroking in the dark. in a softer voice, yawn and insert your child’s name.
51 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Our guide to the best weighted blankets for kids in 2021
By Dani Maher
Weighted blankets have been praised for their ability to improve sleep quality - so could they be the key to a good night’s sleep for your children?
Getting your little ones to establish a good sleep schedule DreamZ Kids Weighted Lap can be difficult. And with everything going on in the world Blanket, $43.69 at Catch right now, it’s understandable if kids (and parents!) are struggling with getting a good night’s sleep. Fortunately, If you don’t want to commit to a the latest trend in sleeping accessories might just provide full-sized weighted blanket, these some much-needed relief. brightly-patterned lap blankets provide 2kg of weighted Weighted blankets have been around for a few years now, anxiety relief for little ones. and have been praised as a great tool for reducing anxiety The breathable cotton and improving sleep quality. They’re usually quilts weighed cover is machine down with glass beads, and they mimic the sensation of washable, and the being hugged. The technical term for this is Deep Pressure smaller size makes it Stimulation (DPS), a therapy method used to treat stress portable and travel- TODDLER | SLEEP AID REVIEWS and anxiety due to the way it can release both serotonin friendly. and dopamine in the brain. Calming Blankets Kids Bamboo Weighted Blanket, We’ve rounded up a few of our favourites below. $199 at Calming Blankets Buzio Weighted Blanket for Kids, $52.99 at Amazon Available in two different colours and weighing 2.2kg, both the inner blanket and outer cover of this one are made from bamboo lyocell fibre - which means that it’s super soft, environmentally friendly and breathable during warmer months.
Not only is this one of the more affordable weighted blankets on the market, it’s a really unique and cute design that we love. Available in seven different prints (like unicorns, dinosaurs and more) that add some colour and DreamZ Bamboo Weighted Blanket, $63.99 at Amazon fun to your child’s room, Buzio’s kids weighted blanket is available in 2.3kg and 3.2kg sizes. On the reverse of the 100 Not only is this 2kg bamboo blanket extra soft, per cent breathable cotton patterned side, there’s a dotted hypoallergenic and eco-friendly, it’s also the most minky material that offers tactile comfort to soothe children breathable option, which will keep kids warm in winter and to sleep in addition to the DPS. Plus, as a bonus - the whole cool in summer thanks to its moisture-wicking capabilities. thing is machine washable. It measures 191x91cm, has a machine washable cover, and even comes with a bonus pillowcase. The five layer design Calming Blankets Kids Weighted Blanket, $199 at is durable and is filled with glass beads to provide the Calming Blankets weight, and there’s a removable zipper cover that makes cleaning a breeze - you can just chuck it in the wash. Measuring 121cm by 91cm and weighing 2.2kg, this weighted blanket is beautifully made and available in three different colours. It has a soft mink plush cover and super silent glass microbeads to ensure that there’s no noisy rattling that can wake your child in the middle of the night.
52 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE Calming Blankets Kids Calming Kit, $282.99 at Worth the Weight Blankets, from $55.50 at Etsy Calming Blankets Want something a little prettier? These custom-made weighted blankets on Etsy will cost you a little more, but the dozens of adorable prints are hard to pass up. You can choose from child’s size blankets, single blankets, lap blankets, and many more sensory bits and bobs for kids who need them. TODDLER | SLEEP AID REVIEWS
Get all the sensory goods your child needs in this one package. It includes the top-selling 2.2kg kids weighted blanket that comes with a plush mink cover, an added How heavy should a weighted blanket be for grey cotton cover to swap to in the warmer months, and a child? also an adorable weighted koala toy your child can cuddle There are plenty of blankets on the market, but it’s best to whenever they’re feeling stressed. choose one that’s around 10 per cent of your child’s body weight. Luxor Linen Weighted Blanket, $49 at Matt Blatt This single-sized 2.2kg weighted blanket is made from a Are weighted blankets safe for kids? super-soft microfibre fabric kids will love snuggling up to. As explained by the experts at Calming Blankets, weighted It’s machine washable, and one of the cheaper options on blankets are safe for kids who can lift the blanket the market. independently - if they are capable of that, they can safely use it. For this reason, kids under the age of three shouldn’t Laura Hill Weighted Blanket, $39.20 at Catch use weighted blankets. Always make sure that the blanket This 2.3kg blanket is also made from cuddly microfibre, doesn’t cover your child’s head. and features the brand’s unique five-layer technology that ensures maximum comfort. What are the benefits of a weighted blanket? Weighted blankets have a bunch of great benefits. Not only can they provide a more restful and deep sleep, but the general feeling of calm and wellbeing that they trigger can also be soothing for kids and adults with anxiety, autism, PTSD, depression and other conditions.
53 ULTIMATE SLEEP GUIDE For more tips, videos and recipes head to
Don’t miss our next ‘Complete family ebook... finance guide’ebook