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12-4-1990 Newspeak Volume 18, Issue 24, December 4, 1990 The tudeS nts of Worcester Polytechnic Institute

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Recommended Citation The tudeS nts of Worcester Polytechnic Institute, "Newspeak Volume 18, Issue 24, December 4, 1990" (1990). Newspeak All Issues. Book 429. http://digitalcommons.wpi.edu/newspeak/429

This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Newspeak at DigitalCommons@WPI. It has been accepted for inclusion in Newspeak All Issues by an authorized administrator of DigitalCommons@WPI. Next year’s budget still needs trim m ing printed on these pages before, a fairly office, and specifically on Provost or functioning of the campus to dete­ adopt a somewhat different approach by Ray Bert large tuition increase translates into a Diran Apelian. riorate. This would only serve to to budget problems. He will have Newspeak Staff comparably much smaller amount of This year, the original deficit was lower our image in the eyes of pro­ asked each of the fourteen department The United States is in a recession actual additional revenue due to all of trimmed in half after an October 23rd spective students, ultimately having a heads to develop their own sugges­ as the 1990’s begin, a fact that fewer the financial aid. meeting by using measures that would deleterious effect on the financial tions for cuts in their areas. His aim is people are able to dispute every day. It is now the time of the year when not affect any of the academic depart­ situation that the cuts were designed to force everyone to be aware of the As students on our own and as mem­ the budget is outlined for next year. ments. Apelian stresses, however, to counteract in the first place. Also overall situation and to be integral bers of our predominantly middle After all of the original proposals, that these measures are safety valves towards this end, a marketing task parts of the solution. class families, we should be acutely WPI had a projected 2.5 million short­ which can only be implemented peri­ force, chaired by John Nelson, has As a final note, this awareness will aware of how lean economic times fall. At other schools, this may not odically. For example, no inflationary been assembled to insure that WPI’s hopefully spread to all parts of the affect us. What may be less obvious to have been a top priority, as evidenced cost increases were allowed for, a strengths are presented as attractively WPI community. In Apelian’s own us are the effects on large operations by the fact that some colleges around move that obviously can not be re­ as possible to prospective students. words: “In the 90’s we will have a such as WPI. the country are in the red several times peated frequently. Additionally, As far as the remaining cuts are decade when economic pressures on As families have less money to put that amount. However, WPI’s board renovations for the campus (i.e. areas concerned, an as yet undetermined institutions of higher learning have towards their children’s education, of trustees will not allow the school to such as repainting) were cut. Again, amount will come from the various never been so acute. In this decade, the burden on the financial aid office operate with an unbalanced budget - a due to good maintenance, these types academic departments. There was a the difference between winning and becomes heavier so that most of us policy that trades sacrifices in the of things can be let go for a year. The meeting held Friday, November 30, losing will be how the faculty, stu­ can still afford to attend WPI. Conse­ present for financial soundness in the Provost wishes it known, however, between Apelian and the department dents, staff and the whole institute’s quently, tuition increases become future. Much of the burden of balanc­ that he will not allow the appearance heads, at which Apelian intended to community view change.” necessary; however, as has been ing the budget falls on the Provost’s

The Student Newspaper of Worcester Polytechnic Institute Volume 18, Number 24 Tiiesday, December 4,1990 WPI elects Barbara Bain Gatison to Board of Trustees She joined SNET in 1974 as a staff Her community Service) WPI’s activities Board have of Adoption. She is a member of the cem to the city of New Haven.(News Trustees has elected Barbara Bain assistant in data systems and later included serving on the Greater New National Association of Female Ex­ A resident of North Haven, Gati­ Gatison of North Haven, CT to serve held engineering and operations as­ Haven YWCA Board of Directors, the ecutives, the New Haven’s mayor task son has twice chaired SNET’s Black for a five-year at-large term on the signments and was promoted to dis­ Connecticut Citizen Action Group, force to combat substance abuse and Management Association and be­ Board of Trustees. Gatison is a 1974 trict staff manager of the business and the advisory group to Jewish also serves on the Mayor’s Blue Rib­ longs to SNET’s Executive Women’s WPI graduate with a bachelor’s de­ service center in 1981. She became Family Service of New Haven/Black bon Panel to examine issues of con- Forum. gree in life sciences. division manager of planning and Gatison is the vice president of creative resources in the corporate consumer services at Southern New relations department in 1981 and divi­ Major Selection Program presents England Telecommunications Corp sion manager bf consumer services in (SNET). She is also one of seven 1982. She was promoted to vice presi­ women among SNET’s top officers in dent of consumer services in 1989. an information session a firm of 13,700 employees. At Originally from the Bronx, NY, do with their degrees once they gradu­ majors. SNET, she directs consumer-related Gatison has been active in WPI by Erik Currin ate. After visiting our major tables, we functions, including sales, service alumni activities as the New Haven and Aureen Cyr First, we ventured to the Mechani­ saw a peculiar sign on a table with the negotiations and fulfillment, provi­ alumni club chairman, member of the The major selection program spon­ cal Engineering - Aerospace division, Physics sign. It said “Humanities.” sion of telephone equipment and busi­ black alumni group, 10th anniversary sored an information session on No­ so Aureen could leam more about her We walked over and inquired. We are ness office services. Gatison also solicitor, and regional council repre­ vember 27 from 7-9 PM to help stu­ major. We were interested to hear that sophomores, but we never heard of a implements market and product sentative. She was the initial recipient dents leam about the majors here at the Aerospace department was more Humanities major at WPI. As it turns plans, provides staff support for of the WPI Ichabod Washburn Award WPI and subdivisions within the broad than we had first thought. out there is a Humanities major here. SNET’s general business segment in 1984 for outstanding professional majors. The session provided general Apparently, the concepts of Aero­ The newest major, Technical Writing, and works with operations vice-presi­ achievement by young alumni. The information to students who were space can be used in car companies was also represented. Thus, even the dent’s to coordinate the delivery of Washburn Award is named for one of undecided about a major and in depth and other non-aerospace oriented small majors had representatives to phone service throughout the state. WPI’s founders. information for those who wanted to places. This information was interest­ give information to interested stu­ leam more about the major they had ing and also valuable. dents. chosen. Then Erik wandered over to the Wrapping it up, the Major Selec­ Learn about the “Off Even though we are both happy computer science table. There, he tion Program information session was with our respective declared majors, learned about specific classes in the a huge success. Confused students we stayed for about an hour. We department, such as the Artificial In­ may not have known exactly what Campus” experience talked to juniors and seniors about telligence, OS, and Data Structures they wanted to major in, but they had of both new and experienced renters. their experiences in classes we are classes. Also, the student at the table a better idea after the program. The by Cheryl Motherly The Renter’s Guide is a tenant sur­ about to take and also found that they gave a general idea of what a MQP seniors and juniors leading the pro­ former intern in Housing Office vival manual that covers all parts of had the same problems as we do in the would be like in the CS department. gram deserve a hand for a good job. So you’re moving off campus. the renting process from searching for classes we are taking. Several stu­ This information was very specific Two thumbs up from Aureen and You’ll have some new luxuries not housing to terminating your lease. dents discussed their MQP’s as an and helpful to Erik and other CS Erik! available when living in the residence Among the many pamphlets available example of what people “in the field” halls. You’ll have complete control are “Off Campus Housing: What’s over your dinner menu. You’ll have the Cost?,” “Tenant’s Insurance: W PI’s “Cam paign for Excellence” exceeds its goal separate rooms in which to eat, sleep, WTiy You Need It,” “Evictions,” watch TV, study, and wash your hair. “Simple Strategies for Wise Energy (News Service) WPI’s four-year years. On average, nearly 80 percent prove the Institute’s undergraduate And in some cases, you may even be Use,” and “28 Common Sense Tips Campaign for Excellence topped its of our freshmen remain to graduate. teaching laboratories, more than $1.7 permitted to have a pet that doesn’t for Personal Safety.” These materials original goal by $11.2 million. WPI Their ready acceptance by leading million to expand and enhance the live under water. provide valuable information about President Jon C. Strauss announced companies and graduate schools is college’s computer facilities, close to But, as with all good things, rent­ your rights as a tenant, information on Nov. 21, 1990, that a total of $63.7 another gratifying measure of our $3.4 million to provide seed funding ing carries with it a lot of responsibili­ that even experienced renters might million had been raised in the Cam­ excellence.” for innovative new educational pro­ ties. Chances are that you are new to not know. paign, whose target when it was Strauss noted that the college re­ grams, and more than $2.8 million to renting and will have many questions. The Office of Housing and Resi­ launched on Nov. 11, 1986, was $52.5 cently adopted a strategic plan to launch new research centers. How do I search for a place to live? dential Life staff can also provide million. guide it during the decade ahead. Over $1.7 million was raised to What is a security deposit? Can my advising for basic questions regarding “We had one overriding objective “The resources we have gained renovate the college’s outdoor ath­ landlord really evict me? The Office landlord/tenant law, leases, and hous­ in this campaign—to provide the re­ through the Campaign,” Strauss said, letic facilities, and about $2.7 million of Housing and Residential Life has ing services. The staff can suggest sources to raise WPI to a new level of “are already helping us meet many of to renovate, shortly, Alden Memorial recently expanded our off campus referrals to Worcester community excellence,” Strauss said. “As the the goals set forth in that plan.” Auditorium in order to provide up­ housing services to provide the re­ agencies that are able to provide more results clearly show, this was a goal Among the most significant proj­ dated facilities for the Institute’s per­ sources to answer these and other extensive tenant counseling. our alumni and friends enthusiasti­ ects made possible by the success of forming arts groups. questions. Renting involves a legal contract cally and generously supported. the Campaign, noted Strauss, was the Donald F. Berth ’57, vice president Once considered just a resource for with your landlord, so it is essential “Excellence is judged in many completion earlier this year of the $ 10 for university relations and Campaign students who live on campus, the you clearly understand your rights ways,” Strauss noted. “The percep­ million George F. Fuller Laborato­ director, said the total raised during Office of Housing and Residential and responsibilities as a tenant. The tion of knowledgeable people outside ries. The college’s new information the Campaign more than tripled the Life provides many services for com­ information provided through our off the institution is a significant meas­ sciences building, Fuller Labs houses results of the college’s best prior muters as well. Perhaps most impor­ campus housing services may be ure. WPI’s consistent standing at or the Computer Science Department, drive—the five-year Plan to Restore tant for students just launching their enough to avoid headaches, lost near the top of listings in U.S. News the College Computer Center, the the Balance of the 1970s, which raised search for housing are the listing for money, and even court action. Most and World Report’s annual college Office of Academic Computing, the $18.9 million. He also noted that the affordable rental units in the WPI importantly, the information will help ratings is such an indicator. Instructional Media Center and the Campaign for Excellence raised more area. The files are regularly updated you know what to expect when rent­ “Another important measure of 400-seat Perreault Lecture Hall. money than the three most recent WPI and provide a good overview of the ing, and that knowledge is the first excellence is the quality of students Among the other ways in which the capital campaigns combined. types of housing available. The off step for a successful off campus living WPI attracts. At a time when the proceeds of the Campaign are already “What we are especially proud of,” campus housing listing are often a experience. number of college-bound men and being put to work, Strauss said, are six Berth said, “is that the Campaign total good place to start when you decide to The Office of Housing and Resi­ women has decreased across the new endowed professorships, eight represents the generosity of about rent. dential Life is located in Ellsworth 16. country, WPI has filled its entering new endowed graduate assistant- 12,500 alumni, parents, corporations, A variety of free written materials The phone number 831-5465. classes with increasingly well-quali­ ships, more than $3.7 million in con­ are also available to address questions fied freshmen in each of the last five tributions and gifts-in-kind to im­ Continued on page 2 Page 2 NEWSPEAK Tuesday December 4,1990

W O R L D N E W S The Gulf Crisis 250,000 rail workers walked off their jobs in prevent some types of cancer. Sports News The United Nations Security Council voted Germany in protest for higher wages. It is the On Saturday, Ty Dytmer beat out runner-up 12-2 in favor of a resolution that calls for using first major strike since the two Germanys reu­ Economics and Business Raghib Ismael to win the Heisman Trophy. All force to drive Iraq out of Kuwait iflraq does not nited. Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan the Division leaders in the NFL lost games. withdraw by January 15. Iraq threatened to In Bulgaria, tens of thousands of workers basically predicted there would be a recession, Both undefeated teams, the Giants and the attack Saudi Arabia and other nations in the went on a strike in an attempt to force the and a decline in GNP in the fourth quarter. 49ers, were defeated. The Chicago Bears were gulf region with missiles if the United States Socialist Prime Minister Lukanov to resign. At MCA was bought by Matsushita for $6.59 soundly defeated by the Minnesota Vikings, attempts to force Iraq from Kuwait. first, Lukanov refused to resign, but after a few billion, mostly in cash. It was the largest who have now won four straight games after President Bush, in a press conference on days he did resign, saying that the strikes had buyout of an American firm by a Japanese starting out 1-6. Friday morning, said that he would be willing made implementation of his programs impos­ corporation. Patriot Zeke Mowatt was fined $12,500 for to talk to the Iraqi foreign minister, and re­ sible. Toyota will open another plant in Kentucky. sexual harassment of Lisa Olsen, a Boston quested that the Iraqi government meet with President Bush met with Mexican President It opened its first plant there two years ago. Herald reporter, when she was in the Patriots Secretary of State James Baker. Salinas to discuss a free trade accord similar to McDonalds announced that it will reduce locker room. Patriots management was also However, some Senators and Congressmen the one that exists between the United States many of its prices. The move signals that there fined, as well as Bengals coach Sam Wyche for questioned whether it would be wise to use and Canada. If passed, then all of North is fierce competition in the fast food industry. his refusal to let women in the Bengals locker force. Armed Services Committee Chairman America could become, in effect, a single room. Sam Nunn (D- Georgia) asked if using military trading bloc. force was in the “vital interest” of the United In Singapore, Prime Minister Lee resigned States. House Majority leader Richard after ruling for 31 years. His handpicked Hunger concern group meets Gephardt (D- Missouri) also questioned the successor, Goh Chok Tong took office on by Professor Patrick Dunn College Symposium on Hunger to be hosted by use of force in the gulf. Wednesday. the Northeast Headquarters of Heifer Project In Northern India, separatist Sikhs contin­ Wednesday, November 28, a group of stu­ International in Rutland. International News ued to battle with Police, and 25 Sikhs were dents concerned about hunger and poverty met The group will convene again in C term for In London, John Major won the election killed. The Sikhs are demanding independence at noon. Appropriately no lunch was served. a report on the Symposium. At that time a more among Coservative Party members of the from India. The concerns of the group range from the local formal structure for the group will be discussed House of Commons, and succeeded Margaret In Bangladesh, 50 people were killed and to the international situations. A range of and specific activities outline. Any member or Thatcher as Prime Minister. Major was over 1,000 injured when they clashed with activities was discussed, including fund-rais- organization of the WPI community is invited Thatcher’s favorite choice. police after demanding the resignation of ing, project opportunities, and ways of height­ to join the group. In the first totally free Polish elections since President Ershad. ening awareness of the problems among If interested drop a note to Professor Hakim World War II, Lech Walesa failed to attain Domestic News members of the WPI community. (EE) or Professor Dunn (HU), or e-mail hakim 50% of the vote. He will face Stansilaw Ty- Senate Ethics Committee hearings contin­ Four students were selected to attend the or pdunn. minski in a runoff election on December 9, ued that concern five Senators and their deal­ where most analysts predict Walesa will win. ings with Charles Keating, head of the now The Current Prime Minister of Poland, Ma- defunct Lincoln Savings and Loan. Appar­ M ajor Selection trip to Pfizer a success zoweicki, resigned because he came in third ently, the Senators took campaign contribu­ place. tions from Keating and then lobbied for less by Mary Beth Harrity Company officials at Pfizer were happy to Soviet Finance Minister Pavlov issued a stringent regulations on Lincoln S&L. The Coordinator, Major Selection Program see so many WPI students participating in the statement that stated that the USSR’s economy five Senators are John Glenn (D- Ohio), John field trip because they are concerned about the was headed for a collapse, and the budget McCain (R- Arizona), Dennis DeConcini (D- declining number of students studying science deficit could grow to 20% of the GNP. The Arizona), Don Riegle (D- Michigan) and Alan Thirty-six WPI students traveled to Pfizer and engineering. In order to meet their future reason for the large increase is that there was a Cranston (D- California). Most analysts pre­ Central Research in Groton, CT on November demand for qualified employees, they recog­ raise on wholesale prices but not retail prices, dict that Glenn and McCain are not as involved 16th for a field trip cosponsored by the Skep­ nize the need to encourage students to pursue so the government has to subsidize heavily. as the other three. tical Chemists and Major Selection Program. science and engineering degrees and to educate Moscow is currently in an economic crisis, Some cancers can be traced back to a defec­ The field trip involved a presentation on Pfizer them about the many career opportunities. For facing shortages in milk, bread, sugar, pota­ tive gene, scientists discovered. This discov­ and career opportunities in the pharmaceutical the students who attended the field trip, this toes, and cigarettes. ery may make it easier to treat, diagnose, and industry, a tour of the facilities, and an infor­ was good news. mal reception with Pfizer scientists and engi­ Many students indicated that the informal continued from page 1 neers. Students from Chemistry, Biology/ reception was the most beneficial aspect of the Biotechnology, and Chemical Engineering trip. The Pfizer scientists and engineers talked participated in the trip. Thanks to generous candidly about their jobs and gave advice about Campaign for Excellence contributions from the Chemistry and Chemi­ careers and graduate school options. Other cal Engineering Departments, the cost of the students found the trip to be beneficial because trip was only $1.00 per person. This support it afforded them the opportunity to get a sense made the trip affordable for all interested stu­ of what they would like and/or dislike about exceeds its goal dents. working for a company like Pfizer. foundations and friends. More than 58 percent gram in that discipline and to provide ex­ of our living alumni made contributions during panded facilities for educating mechanical the Campaign period. Those are numbers that engineering majors, who now account for mean as much to this institution as the bottom about one-third of all WPI undergraduates. line.” Construction of the new bioprocess tech­ Noted Robert H. Beckett ’57, president of nology laboratory is currently under way on the Robec Distributors of Horsham, Penn., and fourth floor of Salisbury Laboratories. To Chairman of the Development Committee of receive the Kresge grant WPI must raise $1.3 the WPI Board of Trustees, the Campaign es­ million by May 1991 to establish an endow­ tablished another important milestone. “Be­ ment for the Lab. fore this campaign began, no living alumnus The Campaign also raised nearly $11.4 had ever made a $1 million commitment to million for financial aid, exceeding the goal by WPI. Now five have. In all, we received 16 close to 570 percent. “This is a wonderful com­ gifts of $1 million or more from individuals, mitment to the future of our students,” noted corporations and foundations.” retired Jamesbury Corporation chairman Among those 16 donors are Digital Equip­ Howard G. Freeman, chairman of the Board of ment Corporation and AT&T, and The George Trustees for much of the Campaign, who estab­ F. and Sybil H. Fuller Foundation, the George lished a scholarship endowment at WPI in I. Alden Trust, and the Stoddard Charitable 1979. Trust and the Kreege Foundation. “But, to put this number is perspective,” Berth said about 83% of all dollars raised in Freeman added, “during the Campaign period k a . m e m n c w the Campaign—$52.7 million—came from WPI students received about $48.6 million in the top 400 donors, or fewer than 3 percent of financial aid from all sources. Of this, about all donors. Nearly half of all Campaign giving, two-thirds came from the institute’s own re­ he added, represents the gifts and commit­ sources. This amount is about equal to half of SIKHISM ments of members of the Presidential Found­ the total we raised in the Campaign.” ers, a group of donors whose cumulative giving According to Strauss, WPI has, over the equals or exceeds the $ 100,000 challenge grant past four years, adopted a needs-blind admis­ A Discussion a Religion that stands the to establish WPI, made by founder John sions policy wherein students are admitted Boynton back in 1865. without regard to their financial needs. “This (eat ir f Reality During the course of the Campaign, 48 new policy has helped WPI remain competitive,” members joined the ranks of the Presidential he said, “but now it is placing an increasing Founders, bringing to 150 the list of Founders strain on our budget. Clearly, financial aid is $8’.x:Ar.« »>: (including Boynton). The Presidential Found­ a topic that will be much on our minds in the ers have provided $31.1 million since the months ahead.” HARBAJANKA I, K Campaign began. Credit for the success of the Campaign for “By recognizing the contributions of this Excellence is shared by many people, noted a m f small group of donors,” Berth added, “I do not Berth. “Starting with our president and Board S H A M RANG S IN G H mean in any way to diminish the importance of of Trustees and extending to hundreds of vol­ the generosity of the thousands of others who unteers, there are literally thousands of mem­ helped make this campaign a success. For ex­ bers of the extended WPI community who can (MKMIHCBS OF TUT. CATKT.' !*4fcf ASELKAM* MLLJJS, VIA* ample, gifts to the WPI Alumni Fund exceeded take pride in their role in putting the Campaign $1 million during each year of the Campaign. over the top. T O M iG W f In fact, during the last four fiscal years, contri­ “I’d like to extend special thanks,” Berth pm butions to the Alumni Fund exceeded $7.4 mil­ added, “to the members of the Development lion, including corporate matching gifts.” Committee of the Board, many of whom made Kirin tout TiatS, Salisbury I.alia Fund-raising will continue beyond the substantial contributions of their own to the WORCESTER POLYTECHNIC TNSTTTIT h Campaign toward two important goals: pro­ Campaign, and to our small but dedicated and viding new and renovated space for mechani a talented staff in University Relations and in by tftr Ofjti# nf'rk* Jbest cf l.itc cal engineering, and meeting a $325,000 bi­ Alumni Affairs. The efforts of these two oprocess technology laboratory challenge groups have enabled us to not only run a highly i t'jt'ftA'fiirf:. S & s w * •4.'** T)m:n*iik’w i grant from The Kresge Foundation. To date, successful Campaign, but set a new standard about $2.3 million has been raised for the for giving to WPI that leaves the Institute well- mechanical engineering project, needed to positioned for the challenges of the years meet the demands of a growing research pro­ ahead.” Europe:NEWSPEAK A Review Page 3 A Boffo Zoo

corral stealing food, you’ll have no one to couldn’t believe it either. I thought it was just find a baboon in which to place Goebbel’s by Shawn Zimmerman blame but yourself. another hunger hallucination. Who goes to the brain, so he could penetrate undetected into the Newspeak Staff I suppose something needs to be said about Zoo to see a cow? That’s like going to see a Pentagon. Not one to shirk my moral duty, I the layout of the Zoo. Most zoos consist of skunk. (There was a place for a skunk exhibit, immediately called the National Enquirer’s “I This week I’ll be reviewing the Zoo in animals and cages and paths leading to the but it wasn’t there. I think it was on loan to the Saw a Famous Dead Person” hotline (open 24 Karlsrule, West Germany. Before I start, cages and a little grass in between the paths, Ellsworth Apartments.) hours a day, vote for Jim Morrison, Jesus, though I’d like to comment on the advisability and food vendors. That’s normal and to be And then, plunging ever deeper into the Hitler, Elvis, Richard Nixon (well, he’s dead of going to the Zoo when extremely hungry. expected. But what I didn’t expect was to walk Twilight Zone, I saw the strangest thing yet: I politically), or other.) Then I went on to the Don’t. along a path and end up at a Chinese temple, or saw Hitler at the Karlsrule Zoo (sung to the penguin bit. I mean it. It just totally changes the entire on top of a mountain, or in the middle of several tune of “I Saw Jesus at the Jiffy Lube” the I don’t know what it is about penguins, but flavor of the place. Normally when you see acres of roses. I swear that zoo was bigger on Chosen will know what I mean.) Now, I told I always love hanging around them. I think it’s Pink Flamingoes at the Zoo, you think “What the inside than the outside. So, I’ve reached the myself quite sternly before I left for Europe, because they’re such silly looking birds. I want a funny looking bird,” or “God, a plastic one of conclusion that the overwhelming majority “Shawn, no Nazi jokes, and I mean it!” And to emphasize that point: Penguins are Birds. those would look fantastic on my lawn!” But was really in another dimension; sort of like aside from a few nasty cracks during German Normally I wouldn’t think that point needed when you go hungry, you think instead, “I bet Strauss’ fiscal policies. oven commercials, I’ve done extremely well. emphasis, but recently I went out drinking with they taste just like chicken,” or “They’d never The actual zoo was pretty normal though. But this is no joke. I really did see him at the some Brits and it came up. We’d been quizzing miss just one.” You have been warned. That You had your lions, elephants, giraffes, cows. zoo. He was with some woman and three little each other on frightfully important informa­ means that when you get caught in the turtle Exotic animals like that. Yes, I said cows. I toddlers. He looked about 40, so it probably tion that no competent person can possibly live wasn’t the real one, just one of the clones from without, and one of them came up with this the secret Nazi Base on the Dark Side of the one: “Why don’t polar bears eat penguins?” Moon. The woman and children were obvi­ Most of us realized the answer almost immedi­ ously there to disguise his real purpose: To ately, but one girl mumbled something about SPRINGS polar bears not being able to catch them. “What are you talking about?” We asked her. “Well, penguin are fish, aren’t they?” Once we AND TRAVIL PH STUDENTSYOUTH picked ourselves from the floor, we made her take lithium and she was OK for the rest of the AIRFARES evening. BAHAMAS/ I think it is problems like these (mistaking CANCUN birds for fish, drinking directly out of the toilet bowl, and consistently voting Republican) that F R O M $ 2 9 9 argue most convincingly for the overwhelming

C O M P lfT f PACKAGE INCLUDES: need in America for more armor-piercing bul­ ■ Bcxrtdtrtp a* Nc»ou/Pcroai* Marvj BOOK NOW FOR THE oi Carcuv Mnco. HOLIDAYS ROUND lets for vole hunters. Most people aren’t even 11 * * * — fn* n o p o rt to h o t l B 7 N qN i hotel occomflw doBo n aware of what a vole is, so they won’t realize ■ W elcom e ru n p o ify c# m e# TRIP hotofc. (Noeau) just what a grave danger voles really pose to the ■ IH w f\jm (Nomou) or TecMo (Concurv) ■ 3 Hour c*Jtt»«hu*Ntodiun pinch American way of life. (When young, voles are and an board ofenainmort. (Naaau/ MONTREAL $94 these cute little balls of fur whose brains rural ■ JSeocftpamoi (one free fc«vn)mi*ic LAX/SFO/SEA $298 and ociKlet, Otaeau) COLORADO teenagers like to splatter all over the place ■ afrriewar to tne tVaoce. Watertoo. Cofcecm. and Ofunfceat HotoMNaaau) SPRINGS $298 when the Saturday-Night Moonlight Hoe ■ CdeQevwooepfoqFarmPvtioichomci CHICAGO S238 ■ On tocartonp LONDON $435 Down and Cider Press gets cancelled. But AMSTERDAM $398 when they reach maturity (the voles, that is — WEEKLY BRUSSELS $398 rural teenagers never reach maturity) they DEPARTURES TOKYO $749 /( 8 0 0 ) BEACH IT TAIPEI $819 grow into horrible monsters, slavering carica­ BANGKOK $999 tures of humanity, like trolls, ghouls, zombies, J SYDNEY $1209 and Ed Meese. Feeding off the recently dead, RESERVE BY JANUARY 1“ $30.00. the soon-to-be-dead, and the brain dead, these hideous fiends are a dire threat not only to our * FARES SUBJECTTO CHANGE lives and very sanity, but also to the ozone * ID CAROS ISSUED ON layer, the national economy, and uninterrupted ( S it e s * MAY-TERM SPOT reruns of Gilligan’s Island. * EURAIL S BRITISH Now, I realize that I have strayed slightly C O U R S E S IN PASSES ISSUED ON SPOT from a purely functional description of the LUXEMBOURG Zoo. But if you really have a compulsion to H n hear stuff like: “The lion, placidly reclining on M A Y 1 9 -J U N E 16, the grey sedimentary rocks slowly opened his regal mouth until it was a gaping maw, and is now offering 1 9 9 1 THE STUDENT TRAVEL NETWORK uttered a ferocious ROAR, the sound and smell BOSTON CAMBRIDGE of which reminded me of a librarians after- 273 NEWBURY ST. 1701 MASS. AVE. IS hours flatulence,” then I’m afraid you’re just Amreica and the “New ” Europe going to have to go elsewhere; say, the Yellow Profs. G. Lane, Clark U. & M. Vannicelli, Holy Cross 1266-6014 ‘ 266-5579 Pages, or maybe the ingredients list on a box of Reading theCultural Landscapes of Western Europe granola. You’ll find none of that in MY Prof. D. Johnson, Clark U. M s r / i column, and that is a solemn promise. Romans and Barbarians Prof. P. Burke, Clark U. STA TRAVEL And no more Nazi jokes and I mean it this Late Medieval Life and Literature time. Prof. S. K. Gertz, Clark U. Cost of *2750 includes tuition for one course, round-trip air transportation between New York and Luxembourg, lodging, weekday meals, and field trips to other countries. Accident on the Quad For further information, contact: Doug Johnson, Clark, Jefferson #203; 793-7370 Uwe Gertz, dark, Estabrook #309; 793-7353 Mauritzio Vanicelli, Holy Cross, Fenwick #305; 793-3410

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This reminder about drinking and driving was in front of the Wedge a l b u m s HQURS; last week and was sponsored by SMART/SADD. M -T 10-6 W -F 10-9 Sat 10-7 Page 4 NEWSPEAK Tuesday December 4,1990 ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT r We’re on Film A Home alone with the Predator J more than a target to the criminals and far more interesting and touching than things like spines and skulls as tro­ ply did not fit her “tough streetwise by Geoff Littlefield and Jim Ropp gives them more than just a little bit of the rest of the story. phies. Danny Glover (Lethal cop” image and slowed the rest of the Newspeak Staff trouble. All the while, his feelings for Geoff: I think I basically agree Weapon). Maria Conchita Alonso group down during some of the fight Geoff: We’ve got one of those his family turn from angst to love. with your view. However, I did find it (Running Man), and Bill Paxton (Ali­ scenes. As you would expect from special columns this week where we How did you like it, Jim? interesting to see how exact this ens) star as police officers trying to this movie, the cast tends to be nar­ review two, two, two movies in ONE Jim: Personally, I didn’t expect movie was in places. Hughes, who is deal with the warring gangs and this rowed down very quickly and allows article. Thanksgiving break gave us much from Home Alone, and that’s quite a talented writer and director, mysterious killer. Gary Busey (Le­ you to concentrate on the more inter­ time to see two between papers, so we about what I got out of it. For starters, was very careful - from what I saw - to thal Weapon) plays a government esting qualities of the Predator, Over­ figured, “What the hey? Let’s do it.” there was hardly anything original to make the robbers only just as smart as agent in charge of a task force chasing all, I feel that this film was a pretty First up is Home Alone, a John be found in the storyline, and the first would create a threat but not lose their the Predator. There are personal good sequel, as far as sequels go, and Hughes written comedy starring two-thirds of the film was full of the bumbling ways. Segments of the conflicts between Busey and Glover I give Predator 2 a cancelled 8 a.m. young McCauly Culkin as a boy acci­ typical obnoxious family, the typical story are revealed at an even pace that over jurisdiction, but basically, this lecture, but I’d also have to give it a dentally left home when his family childhood conflicts, and the typical doesn’t leave much room for idling. movie was a violence-fest. mute button for some of its script. goes to France for Christmas. You overused set-ups for the overused However, I got kind of sick of the James? Finally, I give Home Alone a printer might think “What kind of Bozos punchlines. Even when Culkin finally cute one-liners Culkin was fed and the Jim: Having established the prem­ that doesn’t work half the time and a would forget their own kid?!” Well, “cuts loose,” as he finds himself alone predictable slapstick. As Jim men­ ise in the original film, Predator 2 ball of ear wax. Geoffrey? you’re not far from the mark. First of and free of the oppressive relatives, tioned, Culkin’s fear of his strange wastes no time and gets straight down Geoff: I think you’ve hit on what I all, the family is HUGE and the morn­ there was not much more than a neighbor that gradually turns to a to the action; this time with a Predator liked about the film most: the fact that ing of the trip turns out to be quite muffled chuckle over his antics. For­ friendship was a part of the story I’d of a slightly more aggressive tem­ the Predator was actually given char­ rushed. Secondly, and by far the more tunately, the remaining half-hour rather see more of and was more in the perament. Although I really liked the acter instead of being simply a hunter- important point, they are much more proved to be the film’s saving grace. spirit of the holidays. subtlety of the original creature, I killer. The cinematography was also caught up with themselves than any­ As seen in countless previews, Culkin Next up is Predator 2. The setting think that I still liked the new one as nicely above average, with some ex­ thing else. finds all sorts of clever ways to protect is 6 years in the future in Los Angeles. you get to see a new personality and a cellent camera work and special ef­ Culkin, who also starred in the his home from the would-be burglars, Gangs are warring in the streets, mobs more rounded view of the Predator fects. I loved King Willy, the leader Hughes film, Uncle Buck, is left to some of which were quite amusing are forming outside the police sta­ race. The film even goes so far as to of the Jamaican gang and sort of a contend with a pair of burglars who (then again, some were just plain slap­ tions, and someone (something) is show the insides of his ship, which voodoo Rastafarian dude. Also, break into houses while their occu­ stick). Overall, I found the subplot of killing people viciously. The killer, held a surprise or two for the audience Kevin Peter Hall put in a great per­ pants are on vacation. He defends the the creepy neighbor, who Culkin fi­ naturally, is the Predator, an alien that as well as Danny Glover. As far as the formance as the alien; true to his house that soon becomes an obsession nally confronts and befriends, to be hunts humans for sport and keeps humans go, although some of the movie creature experience as the smaller characters were good, espe­ Predator in the first installment and cially the members of the Jamaican Bigfoot in Harry and the Hendersons. Tribe: An interview with some gang, I found the main characters to I’d say Predator 2 deserves a set of be all wrong. I feel that Glover and nifty bones suitable for foretelling the Paxton were perhaps just victims of future and Dan Quayle’s head as a great Boston talent bad dialogue in the script as their trophy. wanted to be in a rock band.” Janet are pretty diverse. But that just adds to previous roles were usually quite Also, I give Home Alone an LED by Geoff Littlefield LaValley was planning to be a philoso­ their appeal. good. Maria Alonso, however, sim­ display and a bucket of blue paint. Newspeak Staff phy professor before she felt the sway Things are shaping up for Tribe, I’ll make no secret of it, I adore of music and drummer, Dave Penzo, although nothing is on paper as yet. Tribe: Triumph in the mist Tribe, the Boston band that graced the tried out for band after band until he Terri comments, “We hope to have including a cover of Blue Oyster audience in Gompei’s Place last Sat­ found his home with Tribe. the next album out soon, we hope to be by Joe Parker and Jennifer Kavka Cult’s “Godzilla.” Also mixed in to urday with their great sounds. So, it They attribute, in part, their rela­ in the studio in January, we hope to be Features and News Editors the set were the favorites from last was with no little bit of anxiousness tively early success in the Boston signing next week... it’s like that.” On Saturday, a crowd of about fifty year, including “Abort,” “Outside,” that I stepped into their dressing room music scene to the more common With whom will they be signing? was treated to one of the few shows “Daddy’s Home,” and “Here at the before sound check to interview them. practice among commercial radio Slash Records, a Warner alternative that have been offered this year in the Home.” I mean, how often do you get to meet stations to play local bands. The fact label. The new album will probably pub. The Boston area band, Tribe, The whole show was fast-paced people you admire so much they be­ that this is no longer the case makes contain both “old" and new material. played to a larger than usual crowd, and upbeat, and Janet LaValley’s come almost idols? My biggest hope breaking in by getting airplay more “It’s uncertain now,” says Terri. and did so in grand fashion. The show vocals mixed with the playing proved was that they turned out to be the open, difficult. “We landed right on the “We’ll have more of an idea when was sponsered by SocComm. an excellent mix. The way their friendly people I had always pictured cusp of that,” Janet comments. Good we’re finished recording and start The last time Tribe appeared at voices combined to form a perfect them to be. They most certainly did thing, too, this airplay gave Tribe the picking tunes.” WPI, they had not yet been signed to harmony was incredible. It is obvious not disappoint. audience they needed to make an In the meantime, they will con­ a label, but now, sporting an album that they work hard to perfect their The group had its beginnings with impression on club attendance. tinue to play at various Boston clubs under their belts, they returned, and sound. The mist playing off the lights bassist Greg LoPicollo when he came The task of writing lyrics and and they are shooting for a Spring the result was excellent. added to the band’s style. They also to Boston from Vermont in 1983 with­ music is split fairly evenly among the release date for the album. Their next The band consisted of Janet LaVal­ changed their lineup occasionally for out really planning to form a band. five members. “One person will get performance will be at the Paradise in ley on lead vocals, Terri Barow on different songs, to achieve a greater But one did form, and, after various an idea and work with someone else, Boston on December 7th. It’s really keyboard, Dave Penzo on drums, Eric level of variety. changes, stabilized with Greg, Terri, there’s no real main writer. Like, I’ve easy to find and there will be both an Brosius on guitar, and Greg LoPicollo Contrary to the usual WPI style, Eric, Janet, and Dave (see review). done songs with Eric, and Eric and 18+ and then a 21 + show, so I’d recom­ on bass. there was a relatively large number of “We got Janet [the lead vocalist] from Terri have worked on a couple and mend going if you’re looking for a Tribe’s music is hard to classify, people dancing in front of the stage. an ad in the Boston Phoenix,” says Janet writes some music and lyrics.” good time or missed them in Gom­ but it would seem to fall under the dual The general pace of the music was Greg, “and Terri was a pianist who So, as you can imagine, their sounds pei’s. category of progressive and rock. conducive to this behavior, and the They have a good control of their audience loved it. sound, while not killing it in formu­ Tribe returned for two, albeit short, Guest speakers to highlight course laic fashion. They use a good drum encores after the main portion of their beat, and vary it accordingly. Key­ show. on Worcester writers boards played a larger role this time Tribe has won numerous awards in than last, and the show on the whole the past couple of years, and this show As part of EN2236, “New England and a widely published poet, will be As the above announcement suggests, seemed more relaxed. Together with proved that they deserved them. If Literary Communities,” two area visiting EN2236 at its regular class the focus of this year’s course is the vocals, the music produced was they approach every show in the same writers will be reading and comment­ time (12:30, Salisbury Labs 105). Worcester’s literary history. alive, new, and easy to enjoy. fashion as this one, they are sure to be ing on their work during B Term 1990. All members of the WPI commu­ The appearance of these speakers They used mostly a set of originals, hits on the live scene for a long time to On Thursday, December 6, Chris nity, especially Humanities majors is sponsored by the Department of but also played a couple of covers, come. Gilbert, former winner of the Walt and double majors, are invited to at­ Humanities and the Office of Student Whitman Award, will be reading and tend these events. Affairs. speaking about his work in the Gordon EN2236, “New England Literary Library Seminar Room. The time of Communities,” is offered every year his presentation is 7:30 pm. and focuses on a specific literary Christmas concert in Alden Hall On Monday, December 10, Mary circle or center of literary activity by Prof. L.J. Curran tion of the birth of Christ — the “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen” and Fell, a Worcester native, a teacher, (e.g. Concord, Worcester, or Boston). Annunciation — the birth of Christ — “Quitlez Pasteur.” On Thursday evening, December rejoicing of the angels. Daniel On the weekend of December 9, 6, at 7:30pm, Alden Hall will be trans­ Pinkham is one of the foremost of the WPI Glee Club and Wells College formed into an English college chapel America’s living composers. Cur­ Choir will journey to New York to for a concert of lessons and carols for rently professor of music at New perform in Saint Patrick’s Cathedral Soviet tour meeting the Christmas season. The WPI Glee England Conservatory of Music at and in the Church of the Good Shep­ Club and the Regis College Glee Club Boston, he is also organist and choir herd. They will be accompanied by - some 80 singers - will be joined by master of King Chapel on Beacon the WPI Orchestra and Brass Octet. the WPI Brass Octet to provide the Hill, one of the oldest existing The Mozart Coronation Mass and the to be held music for the occasion. This concert churches in America. Christmas Cantata of Pinkham will by Prof. Patrick Dunn City, Pushkin. Professor Dunn will is one of the traditional concerts of the The Regis College Glee Club will resound through the vaulted ceilings also discuss plans for meetings of the college and is one of the few events sing: “Jubilante Deo” and “Here We of Saint Patrick’s Cathedral at Members of the WPI community prospective travellers in C term for sponsoring the real nature of Christ­ Come a-Caroling.” 4:45pm on the ninth in concert form. interested in touring the Soviet Union rudimentary language training and mas. The Chamber Singers, a select On the weekend before Christmas, between terms C and D should meet exposure to Soviet history and cul­ With roots back in the middle ages, group from the Glee Club, will sing: Fifth Avenue is generally closed to with Professor Dunn (HU) in the ture. the form of this concert for Christmas “In Duloi Jublio” and “While Youth­ traffic and made into a pedestrian commons area of the Humanities If you are interested, plan to be is celebrated throughout the world. ful Sports Are Lasting” mall for shopping. The result is the Department on Thursday, December there, or contact Professor Dunn in Perhaps the most famous of these The Regis College Handbell Choir Cathedral is filled with tourists and 6, at 6:00 p.m. Salisbury 26, or e-mail pdunn. The events is the yearly broadcast on BBC will perforin: “The Chimes” and people going to mass — an extraordi­ Professor Dunn will discuss plans deadline for applications is December International from Kings College, “Star of Light.” nary audience, numbering in the thou­ for the lour, which will visit Moscow, 15. Cambridge from which much of the The WPI Glee Club will perform: sands. Leningrad, and Worcester’s Sister music for this occasion will be drawn. “Go Tell It On the Mountain” - Solo­ The Christmas Concert at WPI this The main musical composition ists: Robert Ballasty and Theodore Thursday is a calm moment in a busy will be the Christmas Cantata of Dysart, “Jesus Is Bom” - Soloist: Moe schedule which we all hope you will Daniel Pinkham employing the Brass Khan, and “le Sommeil de l’enfant Je­ enjoy, a moment to pause and enjoy Octet. The work is in three move­ sus.” the season before leaving the college ments much as in the biblical narra­ The Baker’s Dozen will Sing: hill. NEWSPEAK Page 5

SPORTS When will the WPI Hockey Team win again? by Brian Campbell and John Kurdziolek With the Biackhawks holding a command­ Hockey Classic by a score of 15-3 (!!!) over the good scoring opportunities of their own. ing 5-1 lead after two periods, WPI finally Keene Biackhawks. In the third period, the pace was fast and The first annual WPI hockey classic took realized it was time to play hockey and scored WPI hoped to get back on the winning track furious since both teams had no intention of place on November 24-25 and featured Penn their first goal of the period with nine minutes when they faced MIT on Wednesday, Nov. 28. losing. It looked as if the game would end in a State University (defending national club to play. Andy Sanclemente added another with WPI looked like they would do just that, as 1-1 tie until Dave Henry put the Engineers hockey champions), Nichols College, Keene two and a half minutes to play. Despite another Tech scored in the first minute of the game on ahead with seven minutes to play. Once again, N.H. Junior Biackhawks, and WPI. goal 30 seconds later, WPI could not net the a goal by Andy Hoyen. However, as has been WPI showed that they could not hold a lead, as In the first game Tech was pitted against the tying goal. After 2 and 1/2 horrific periods and the pattern of this team, MIT climbed back into MIT went on to win 3-2. The Engineers have Junior Biackhawks from Keene, N.H. Both a good final ten minutes, Tech ended up on the the game with a goal late in the first period. settled into a disturbing pattern of scoring squads came out of the blocks tentatively until short end of a 5-4 score. In the scoreless second period, MIT carried goals and then sitting back and letting the midway through the first period when Keene In the other first round game Saturday night, the play in the early going; a few questionable opposition have their way. Until this pattern is snuck a shot past goalie John Kurdziolek from Penn State edged Nichols 5-3. Consequently, calls by the referees and a rowdy crowd only broken with gritty determination and a desire about eighteen feet out. Keene did not stop this matched up WPI and Nichols in the conso­ added fuel to the fire. Goalie John Kurdziolek to win, the young Engineers are going to con­ there; the “Biackhawks” tallied two more goals lation game and Keene faced Penn State for the made some key stops, and in the second half of tinue this losing streak. to close out the first period. championship. the period, WPI finally countered with a few The Engineers knew that they possessed an On Sunday, the experience of the Nichols edge in talent and size, but the question was, squad was just too much for the Engineers as did they know how to use it? In the second Tech lost its second of the season by a 6-4 period, WPI’s Joe Canniff scored quickly and margin. As if it weren’t bad enough to lose its WPI wrestlers surge this seemed to put some life into the bewil­ own tournament, WPI’s rookie sensation John by Roger Burleson George Willwerth had another tough victory in dered bunch. However, this momentum short- Macklin went down with a separated shoulder Sports Editor his second match winning by a score of 5-4. At circuited when Keene again scored twice be­ and is lost until January. 190 John Roy finished off his opponent in 4:35. fore the second buzzer. Penn State went on to win the first WPI WPI wrestlers continued preparing for their At heavyweight, Mike Aheame finished off the showdown against Rhode Island College by scoring for WPI by taking the forfeit. With the defeating Boston College by a score of 40-6. victory, WPI raised its record to 2-0 while BC WPI fell behind 6-0 after dropping the first fell to 1-2. two contests by close decisions. But after that, The long awaited Rhode Island College THEO’S RESTAURANT AND PIZZA they never looked back sweeping the remain­ meet will take place Wednesday night at 7:00 ing eight contests for the one sided victory. Out p.m. RIC has won the New England Tourna­ of those eight victories, one half were by pins. ment for the past three years, but has never At 134 Pat Leamy fought a hard eamed beaten WPI in a dual meet. This meet should PIZZAS, GRINDERS decision with a 4-3 victory. Afterwards Brian go down to the wire and be very exciting. WPI Chu looked sharp in a 12-4 easy decision at will finish off the month of December when 142. Then came the rain of pins at 150, 158, they travel to Saturday to the University of NOW OPEN FROM 7 AM TO 12 MIDNIGHT and 167. Garritt Trombi, Toby Wyman, and New Hampshire for a 12:00 p.m. meet against Chris Carey all took care of business in times UNH, Harvard, and New York University. of 4:40, 4:58, and 4:15 respectively. At 177 MONDAY THROUGH SUNDAY

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SMALL PLAIN PIZZAS ...... $ 3 .2 6

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(For large am ounts of pizzas and grinders, a better price is offered) NEWSPEAK STAFF PHOTO / DAVE WILLIS WPI men's basketball player shoots over Babson defender in last Tuesday night's game.

CINEMATECH PRESENTS:

“HAIL MARY”

Tuesday December 4th 7:30 PM in Perreault Hall FREE Page 6 NEWSPEAK Tuesday December 4,1990

LETTERS / COMMENTARY Call attention to course evaluations To the editor: Prof. Orr also has no rebuttal to opinion about a few of them. This is more than one or two is far too many. them complete. Include the statistics any of my complaints. He states that a valid point, but I believe that it is the This is definitely a case of a few bad from the “dot” side, and the written The responses in the November 13 “to make no response could leave the department’s responsibility to weed apples spoiling the barrel. evaluations. Then publish, as early as issue by John A. Orr, Head of the impression that we do not care about these poor teachers out. There may be I have a suggestion that will really possible, which professor is teaching Electrical Engineering department, the actual or perceived quality of the more excellent professors at WPI than show how students feel about certain when. You will see the enrollment and Prof. David Brown to my letter in teaching in the department.” You poor ones. However, the poor ones professors. Do not allow professors to patterns change very quickly. I know the November 6 issue were a perfect have made a response that says that are not an exception to the rule. There teach a course twice in a row; this will that the students will use those evalu­ example of what 1 was protesting. you care, but where is the action? are several of them, not just one or allow students a choice of professors. ations even if the faculty doesn’t. These letters did not address a single Prof. Orr states that “in order for two. Maybe I had bad luck in which In addition, call more attention to the point I brought up, they only made any problems to be addressed, they professors I got in my four years, but evaluations in the library, and make J. Robert Sims, III 90 some general statements with little must be brought to the attention of support. someone... in a specific fashion.” I i t Prof. Brown states in his most always thought that the course evalu­ Counselors” shouldn’t judge others recent letter, “While I applaud his ation forms were a specific, formal [my] enthusiasm, 1 cannot agree with format for recording our problems To the editor: dice themselves. They are oh-so- as justification. Perhaps people in the all of his points or all of his logic. with a course or professor. I filled out ready to pre-judge Shawn on the job of “counseling” should be less However, the need to maintain a suita­ all of my evaluations honestly, and as I must say that I am surprised at the merits of their inability to find humor quick to pre-judge people who they bly sober, dignified, stodgy, boring, far as I know, so did everyone else. reaction to Shawn Zimmerman’s ar­ in “The Pool.” have never met. and egocentric professionalism pre­ After four years of filling out these ticle, “The Pool.” It seems that the 1 find this particularly concerning I would suggest that Ms. Langman vents me from writing a five column forms, I saw no change in the EE word “sarcasm” is not in these coming from two people representing and Mr. Groccia should offer an apol­ response.” This forum was designed department. Were these simply ig­ people’s vocabulary. the “Counseling and Student Devel­ ogy to Shawn Zimmerman and the to address problems and current is­ nored? It seems that in their haste to de­ opment Center.” If they had signed it editors of Newspeak, lest they be pre­ sues; it was not designed for public I also received a phone call from an nounce the prejudices that Mr. Zim­ under merely their own names, it judged themselves. insults. If you are not going to tell me EE professor. While he was quite merman laughs at in his article, they could be taken as personal opinion. which points you disagree with, why upset about my letter, he was also the have exposed a serious flow of preju­ Instead, they invoke their professions John Dunkelberg ‘92 was this letter submitted? As I only one to address my letter in a pointed out in my first letter, nothing professional manner. One of his is accomplished unless specific things major complaints is that I criticized are addressed. the whole department based on my Standing on a Soapbox Democracy Sux Looking Out from by Frodo jority of Americans supported the war Taken by vote or by gun, no differ­ on drugs and various other programs ence. Democracy. It’s the big word this that I considered in violation of indi­ Notice as you watch the events in year. Poland, East Germany and tons vidual rights. I told him that what a Europe and the U.S.S.R. that they Bancroft Tower of formerly “Communist” countries majority thought was irrelevant to the advocate socialism. They do not want have allegedly become “Democratic” morality of the issue. He replied that a free market, they want their secu­ From a barstool in Alden nations. There are two major prob­ since we live in a democracy that this rity. They do not want freedom, they lems with this. First is the false di­ was the way things worked. Wrong. just want anything proclaiming itself by Jonathan Drummey my notes. “Louder,” I say to Chris on chotomy between communism and We live in a republic. The basis of our to be for the people. If they truly sound. The pulse of the music, a tribal democracy. Communism is a statist government and our liberty cannot be wanted freedom they would adopt a I stop to watch the Homed God rhythm, takes me. I can’t hear the system based on the government legally touched by the whim of the constitution based on the sanctity of chase a star. It’s the beginning of AB’s guns slamming the floor, the ownership of everything and the sub­ masses or by the hazard of Congress. the individual. They would drop all November, right after one of the worst music is so loud. The Afterburners jugation of the individual to the state. The fact that individual rights have taxes and tariffs. They would privi- rehearsals I’ve ever been to. After­ finish their drill, the magic of the Democracy is a method for how and been invaded in this country is only tize everything and limit the power of burner’s... Will the production actu­ sound and lights must end, to be re­ by whom the purpose of a govenment due to the fact that Congress, the the government so it could not change ally happen? The moon is so beautiful placed by other sorcery. will be carried out. Communism is President, and the Supreme Court these things without losing it’s legiti­ tonight, though. I walk up to the third “Go lights and sound.” Wait ten the political and economic end result have violated the Constitution, not macy. Then they would have a lais- floor lounge of Fuller to get a better seconds in the blackout. “Go lights.” of an anti-man philosophy. Democ­ because it was their right to do so. To sez-faire capitalist republic and I view, and end up spending half an The stage has cleared, it’s now ready racy is devoid of philosphy, it is a be completely objective, the U.S. is no would move. hour vivisecting the rehearsal with an for the curtain call. From my vantage method. If democracy is instituted as longer a republic. We are a socialist Don’t be fooled by the word actor pulling an all-nighter. We need point, the applause isn’t as loud as the a system it means complete majority state and that is also the status of the “democracy.” It means little on its more time, always more time. music. I like it that way, for the music rule. Individuals subject to groups, ‘free’ European countries. Socialism own and what it does mean is bad. I’m listening. Totally absorbed in is that of redemption, of success even. small groups subject to big groups, controls most everything as Commu­ You can have a democratic commu­ the tension between Laura and Jake. The smiles on the faces of the cast and countries subject to bigger countries nism does, but leaves enough freedom nist state. You can have a democratic Every night that I sit up here, calling crew are all that need to be said. or groups of countries. Notice the lack to leech off of to keep the state afloat. socialist state and you can have a cues on Ledo deck, I notice something In the end. Afterburner's was a of principle, of right and wrong. All Communism is giving a man poison democratic fascist state. Remember new in the script. Tonight it’s that hugely successful show for Masque. democracy is based on supremacy by until he dies, socialism is slowly feed­ that Hitler was elected. He carried out Laura asks about Jake’s past, but he My own involvement, from a mad superior number. Might does not ing a man poison so that he is con­ the will of the people. never asks for hers. It’s because he dash down Route 128 during rush make right, neither does number. In stantly weak and in pain but has The worst example of resistance to knows it; she’s a citizen. Marked in hour to hours spent on my purloined reality communism loves democracy. enough strength to eek out an exis­ this idea came from that bastard So­ my script, just to the right of the lines, barstool calling cues, was a two Democracy gives communism the tence. Eek, eek. The U.S., through crates. He represents the ultimate end is “Warning.” I tell the crew to get month roller coaster ride. I hope these backing and “moral” justification to taxes, censorship, tariffs, legistlated of a democracy. Killed by the act of a ready. I listen for another page, want­ few words can express what it’s like. do whatever a majority wants. I will monopolies, publicly owned compa­ majority for his ideas, he sat by and ing to just watch it unfold. But I can’t. And to that student in Beijing who save my arguments on what this does nies and property, public medicine, took it. Worse than that, he sanc­ It’s time. “Go sound cue 20, lighting on June 5, 1989 had the courage to to an individual and to life for a later public roads, public schools, public tioned it. What more could a totalitar­ cue 31a,” I say. Several Afterburners stand there... thanks. date. transportation and various other ian state want than enemies that grant come on stage in red light, Stan in This brings me to my second argu­ forms of personal and economic con­ the principles of the state and then kill charge. “Changing of the guard” say ment. I was debating with a Republi­ trol could easily qualify as a socialist themselves. can a couple of weeks ago. I was state. Our government robs a man of The next time someone uses a vote advocating drug legalization based on his choice and production and redis­ or a majority as an argument - answer a morality and government founded tributes things for the good of the “so what ?”, “Is it right or wrong and on individual rights. He replied with majority as determined by the vote or why?” Dear Sarah by the representatives of the vote. Advice for Students a barrage on statistics about the ma­ Greetings fellow students. I am Dear Trapped, starting something new (for me any­ way). This is an advice column, prob­ The first thing you have to do is to lems, concerns, advice to the love­ talk to your roommate. He must real­ lorn, etc... your chance to get in the ize that it is your room too. He—ipeak paper anonymously. In order for me Since I don’t know how you two The Student Newspaper of Worcester Polytechnic Institute to do this, I need real problems so usually get along, I won’t advise you WPI Box 2700, Worcester, Massachusetts 01609 please send your questions and prob­ to try and find another roommate. If Editor-ln-CNel Phone (508) 831-5464 Faculty Advisor lems to Dear Sarah c/o Newspeak Box they are giving you subtle hints to Gary DelGrego Thomas Keil 2700. The reason why I’m starting leave, return the favor by giving them Photography editor Sports Editor Graphics Editor AdYcrtlslMLEdltar this now is because I have a friend who hints to leave. Try keeping the door Jason Edelblute Roger Burleson Alan Penniman Liz Stewart open or inviting your friends in to do Associate Photo Editor Features Editor Grachlct Staff New.a Editor has a problem and this is my way of Chris L'Hommedieu Joe Parker William Barry Jennifer Kavka helping him and anyone with the same homework or just to hang out. If Writing Staff Kevin Parker Photography Staff Antonio Correa Andrew Petrarca Circulation Manager problem. nothing else seems to work, you could William Barry Ajay Khanna Aureen Cyr Paul Crivelli talk to your RA or go to Res Life for a Geoff Littlefield Business Editor Pejman Fani Dear Sarah, room change. If their sexual activity Matt Meyer Ty Panagoplos Typist Brent Hiller Troy Nielsen Harold MacKiernan is preventing you from getting sleep Eric Kristoff Eric Rasmussen Associate Editors Chris Barcus My roommate has a girlfriend who or getting your work done or invading Jenn Sperounis George Regnery Cartoonists Rob Slandley Alton Reich Pat Charles Jason Demerski is always in our room. your privacy, then you should defi­ Tom Turner Cindy Richards Jonathan French Charles Lyons They always give me subtle hints nitely go for outside help. But first, Mike Williams Jim Ropp Jeffrey S. Goldmeer Dave Willis Scott Sabo Heidi Lundy try to work it out on your own. Laura Wagner to leave, and I mean constantly. She Sam Yun Mark Saviano sometimes stays over night and they Shawn Zimmerman have sex, even when I’m in the room. V, - .♦ WPI Newspeak of Worcester Polytechnic Institute, formerly the Tech News, has been published weekly during the academic year, except during college I’m beginning to feel like it is not my /M r vacations, since 1909. Letters to the editor should be typed (double-spaced) and must contain the typed or printed name of the author as well as the author's signature room anymore but their personal and telephone number for verification. Students submitting letters to the editor should put their class after their name. Faculty and staff should include their full title. Letters deemed libelous or irrelevant to the WPI community will not be published. motel room. The editors reserve the right to edit letters for correct punctuation and spelling Letters to the editor are due by 9:00 a.m. on the Friday preceding publication. What should I do? Send them to WPI Box 2700 or bring them to the Newspeak office, Riley 01 All other copy is due by noon on the Friday preceding publication (this includes electronic submissions, classifieds, greek and club corners) and must include the author's name, telephone and box number We reserve the right to edit all other copy. All ads are due by noon on the Thursday preceding publication Articles may be sent via the Encore by mailing them to our account (“Newspeak"). Signed, The editorial is written by a member or members of the Newspeak staff It does not necessarily reflect the opinions ot the entire Newspeak staff y s Newspeak subscribes to the Collegiate Press Service. Typesetting is done by Good Impressions Publishing, Worcester. MA Printing is done by Saltus Press. Trapped in the Sex Zone ✓ First Class postage paid at Worcester, Massachusetts Subscription rate is $20.00 per school year, single copies 75 cents within the continental United States Make all checks payable to WPI Newspeak NEWSPEAK Page 7 r The Wilderness Writer \ The Pleasures of Gardening J He has lifted more earth than all men have or it is a product of our own labors, when it goes which prosper in the succession to mature by Athena Demetry will. from the ground to our table - we feel more forest. Newspeak Staff Breaking the earth in spring men break his closely our connection to the earth and are To these indigenous people, gardening is Removing the weeds, putting fresh soil body more likely to preserve the health of that con­ much more than raising food; gardening is an about the bean stems, and encouraging this And it is broken in the beaks of birds. nection. integral part of thier culture and their society. weed which I had sown, making the yellow soil He has become and will again become Division of labor in our society is too in­ These people are a beneficial component of the express its summer thought in bean leaves and The flying and singing of birds. grained ever to change. There still are, how­ ecosystem; while taking from it, they add and blossoms rather than in wormwood and piper - Robert Francis ever, large areas of the world where gardening alter, creating new niches and new diversity. and millet grass, making the earth say beans and agriculture are one and the same, where the But we in the West tend to look at their “primi­ instead of grass, - this was my daily work...I Gardening provides regular contact with the personal care of plants and ecosystems is part tive” methods and declare that they could be was determined to know beans. earth, with the air and open space and living of daily life. Studies have labeled the systems much more productive by clearing large tracts - Henry David Thoreau organisms. Many of us, come April, find our employed by indigenous cultures as “agroeco­ of land, plowing the soil with tractors, fertiliz­ fingers itching to be buried in soil and our toes systems” or “sustainable agriculture.” These ing, irrigating, and employing pesticides - all The squish of damp soil beneath your toes. craving their freedom from shoes and their people garden into the natural ecosystem and the advanced technology of the “green revolu­ The dark smoothness of perfectly weeded and liberation in dirt. In winter, when we can’t increase its diversity, taking advantage of tion.” In doing so, we are threatening to disrupt cultivated soil beneath the fresh greenery of garden, or if we haven’t the outdoor space for microenvironments of varying temperature, their entire traditional social system and to plants. The names - aquilegia. coreopsis. a garden, we bring pots of earth indoors, place shade, moisture, and soil conditions to plant a destroy native, diverse habitats. In many vil­ heliotrope, campanula, delphinium, lupine. them on windowsills, and call them house- variety of plants for use as food, medicines, lages, water buffalo are used to plow; their artemesia. lobelia. The surprise of a new set of plants. Those of us who garden find the and building materials among others. Rain­ dung is used for fuel, and their wallows create buds, a second flowering, a week’s additional activity necessary and therapeutic, or we sim­ forest peoples will bum small patches of forest habitat for fish, who eat malaria larva, and for growth. The transformation from the small, ply enjoy the aesthetics of a colorful, fragrant to release nutrients stored in the vegetation, snakes and lizards. When the buffalo are re­ tidy seedlings of early June to the overgrown, garden, or we seek to surround ourselves with and take advantage of the conditions thus cre­ placed by a tractor, the high protein fish food is rampant jungle of late August. The shape of an life, to nurture that life and make it grow and ated, planting ash-loving species where ash is eliminated, malaria increases, and expensive, expertly pruned shrub. The plump, red sweet­ flower, to create, shape, and mold a place of concentrated, planting species that need moist outside sources of fuel - wood or coal - must be ness of a cherry tomato eaten straight from the beauty. Historically, agriculture - the growing conditions in drainage areas, and surrounding found. vine on a hot summer day. The trickle of sweat of food - was a gardening activity in which the banana palms with a certain plant that thrives Before imposing our energy-intensive sys­ down your spine, the horsefly persistently cir­ majority of people took part, and perhaps they on a chemical the palm releases into the soil. tem of agriculture on other areas of the world, cling your head, the yellowjacket hovering a also experienced the joys of gardening along They protect against rodent pests by planting we should consider whether the elimination of quarter-inch from your skin, neither landing with their daily toil. enough extra for them to eat as well. They will gardening as a way of life is truly a step nor flying off, just waiting and testing your But at some point back in history came move a colony of ants to live mutualistically forward. tolerance. Distinguishing the tiny, two-leaved division of labor, and gardening was taken with a tree; the combative ants protect the tree seedling of a black-eyed susan from nearly away from the comman person. I think that, from being eaten by other insects and mam­ Contest Update: My very own father wants identical weeds, then gently pulling the weeds somehow, many of our modem societal ills mals. They plant fifty varieties of a staple to know what the prizes for the Wilderness away, adding some water, coaxing growth. have arisen from that fact. Some people drive instead of just one, and they interplant many Writer Contest are before putting pen to paper! Turning over the soil in late spring for the sun many minutes in traffic for the “privilege” of different staple crops, thereby protecting Well, I’m not really sure yet, but I know that it to warm, finding in that shovelful the first glis­ spending eight hours in front of a computer against pests and decreasing the risk of total will be something like a choice of a book, a tening pink earthworm to poke up, awake, into screen in a one hundred floor building, then crop failure. Indeed, this genetic diversity is plant, ora 1991 Sierra Club Calendar. So write the unthawed world, churning and turning the buy their plastic bagged, pre-sliced white the source of many of our bioengineered, dis- down your nature experiences, thoughts, and soil with its body. Such are the pleasures of bread in the supermarket and wonder how milk ease-resistant, “super-species” which we in the ideas, and get your entries in to Box 841. The gardening. is made. In the name of progress, gardening West plant in monoculture. Most critically, the deadline is extended to any time before Christ­ was taken away from the masses and placed in rainforest people allow their burned patches of mas. Remember - entries from faculty, staff, Robbed of all resistance to progress the hands of middle America, where tractors forest to regrow, while continually caring for and administration, as well as from students, He squirms awhile in the too-easy air plow across prairies, planting is mechanized, and harvesting from the fruit and nut trees are welcome. Before an ancient and implicit purpose thousands of acres of only two varieties of com Starts him traveling in one direction and wheat are harvested, synthetic fertilizers Reaching out, contracting, reaching out, and pesticides are used, and water is diverted Contracting - a clean and glistening earth- from rivers for irrigation. The growing of food pink. plants has been made distinct from gardening; Joger’s View He has turned more earth than I have with my it is done with technology and called agricul­ fork. ture. When food is raised by gardening - when Cop Bashing (Yet Again)

by Joger will be towed.” This would deter some of the honest people from parking there. The way to Well, I guess you can call me a liar, because deter the rest would be for Campus Police to COM E JOIN THE ANNUAL I’m in two papers in a row. But something actually patrol during the day, (not just at three happened today (Saturday) that made me mad o’clock in the morning) and ticket and (gasp!) again, so I decided to write again. tow people who are not supposed to be parking W .P.I. CHRISTM AS M ASS Today we went grocery shopping and when there. I think they would get the hint that they we came back home we tried to park in the should find another space next time. i n Ellsworth parking lot. I have this warped But I’m sure the powers-that-be would say opinion that this is my right, considering I live that towing guests’ cars would not be conduc­ in Ellsworth, and I paid thirty bucks for a tive to the image that WPI is trying to present ALDEN AUDITORIUM sticker to park there, but hey. I’m just a student, by inviting guests for these Super Bowls and who am I to say anything. Anyway, we go to the State soccer tournaments. These events are park, and lo and behold there are NO spaces to great for WPI. NESN comes and transmits that SUNDAY, DEC. 9TH be found in the lot. big “WPI” that sits smack dab in the middle of There were football games going on all day, the field all across New England. Talk about so I’m assuming that my space was taken by free publicity. However, I submit that, con­ 9 : 0 0 P M some unsuspecting spectator, and while I’m trary to the trends of late, that this school exists here I should say that I’m not blaming them. for the students, not for the general public, and Rather, I’m blaming the campus. As far as I’m our concerns should come first. But like I said, concerned there should be a sizeable sign who am I? posted as you enter the lot that says something Well, as far as I know, I'm Joger, and you Bishop H arrington will be to the effect of “Student Parking Only. Others can contact me via Box 2700. celebrant. Christm as Party in Eating In Alden im m ediately following A Quick Recipe for Breakfast t h e M a s s . by Josh Howard, medium high, coat with vegetable spray. Dip Kelly McQueeney a slice of bread in milk/egg mixture coating and Kajsa Cadwell both sides. Place bread on skillet and cook till golden brown. Serve as is or with cinnamon/ The following recipe for French Toast pro­ sugar, maple syrup, or jam. For variety, top C om e - Bring a friend - All are vides an excellent source of protein to keep you with fresh fruits. awake during your early morning classes. .(Besides, isn’t falling asleep and drooling Serves - 1 i n v i t e d . embarassing enough?) Protein - 22 grams Cost - $0.75 French Toast Time - 4-6 minutes Ingredients: Yo! Free food! Starting C-Term! 4 slices of bread As part of our IQP we need numerous vol­ 2 eggs unteers (Free food!) to make and taste (Free 2 tablespoons of milk food!), some of our recipes (Free food!). Send vegetable spray of butter/margarine your name, (Free food!) box number, (Free Let us celebrate Christm as on food!) and telephone number to Box 581. Directions: In a medium sized saucer or bowl mix the Next week - a quick and easy lunch. c a m p u s eggs and milk. Use a medium sized skillet on

There is no other Sunday Mass on campus Sunday Dec. 9,h Page 8 NEWSPEAK Tuesday December 4,1990

Alpha Phi Omega Cayuga. So get psyched for the Big Apple this safer to drink back then.) What has the SFS Table Tennis Club weekend and Montreal over C-D break. On done for you lately? I will tell you. Last week Hey Sean! Great place to hand out club that note, remember that we leave for New at the meeting we took our yearbook pictures. Hi there! This is the First official invitation comer! York on Friday at 2:00 or 2:30, so rearrange We talked about what to do for next term. for the organizational meeting fo the newly For all you Newspeak readers, we apolo­ your academic schedule if you haven’t done so Gaming weekends, scavenger hunts, movie established WPI Table Tennis Club. We will gize if this club comer makes no sense. I forget already. nights, UFO sightings, lemon/lime mixers, meet in Salisbury Lounge on Thursday Decem­ - is this supposed to make sense to anybody? The club would like to extend congratula­ magma surfing, and helping to clean up after ber 6, at 6:30 pm. Subjects include: Cetta hates me. Keith hates me. Janet hates tions to Brian Rucci on the successful world the Great Missouri Earthquake. -Elections for the three officer positions. me. Madhvi hates me. Everybody hates me. premiere of his arrangement of “Jesus is Bom” For this term, we are planning to have a -Possibility of creating a league for compe­ Maybe I really am Bernard. No you just smell at Wheaton as well as the subsequent New movie night. No, no, not another Megazone tition within the club. funny. York State debut at Wells. We’re all proud to Sex. Demons, and Videotape Animieathon, -Possibility of creating a team which could Camera Lady: Say Sex. perform music of such high caliber - especially but a collection of normal (snicker, snicker) face other colleges. Rich: Cori! music written by one of our own. Thanks for movie for our watching pleasure. Hey, get -Information about membership (dues, Camera Lady: Say Hot Women. giving us the opportunity, Brian. your minds out of the sewer! I mean Wizard of meetings, etc.). Rich: Cori! Lest we forget, Christmas Vespers will be Speed and Time. Wizards, and A Clockwork -Applications for membership to the United Al is a two-letter word beginning with the on Thursday at 7 pm in Alden Hall. It is one of Orange. You people. It’s like you’re in college States Table Tennis Association, and informa­ letter H. our only on-campus performances of the year, or something. Well, must be going, got to get tion about other clubs in the New England area. NO TUF seems rather backwards to me! so let’s make it a good one. Good luck to all. some time checking my mailbox even though Everyone interested in competitive table TRIVIA, TRIVIA, TRIVIA, TRIVIA I know there is nothing there. tennis is welcome! If you cannot make the Fencing Club First, the answer to the question: How many Weekly quote: “I pulled a muscle in my meeting, or need more information, please states are represented in the present Club ear.” - Penfold contact Gregory Loukedes, box 2865. Look coach, an article two weeks in a row! Membership? Answer: 9 (MA-14 members, The meet at BU with UNH and UCONN CT-5, NY-3, NJ-3, PA-2, RI-1, ME-1, VT-1, Society of Women Engineers Tau Beta Pi went pretty well. Tom (Tome - sorry, had to be GA-1). There are also 6 countries represented done) led the epee team to an outstanding in addition to the United States (Venezuela, SWE’s last meeting of the term is today, The Mass. Alpha chapter of Tau Beta Pi record of 17 and 10 with Tom going 7 and 2. France, Spain, Sweden, India, and, of course, Tuesday December 4 at 7:00 pm in Founder’s would like to congratulate its Fall 1990 initi­ Both Doug and Mark (Shadowspawn) went 5 Colombia). Hall basement. SWE signs will guide you to ates. Out new Junior initiates are Glenn and 4 for the day. So guys, what’s your poison? This week’s trivia (Jeopardy Style): the basement if you are unfamiliar with Found­ Bartkowski, John Borger, Concetta De Paolo, Mixed case, or all one kind? Jose and I both 1. The last college we sang with - other than ers. Nicholas DiCamillo, Bernard Dion, Sean went 4 and 5, having winning days until Regis - that does not start with a W. The meeting will consist of a women fac­ Emerson, Garrett Hall, Andrew Hansford, UCONN blanked us. Kevin (the best “dress”er 2. Two auto-related mishaps on the trip to ulty/student reception followed by a panel of James Kokemak, Roy Martin III, Susan around) didn’t pick up any wins, but had a Wells. women faculty speaking on the pros and cons Moser, Laura Paciorek, Thomas Proulx, pretty good day of fencing anyway. Archie 3. Original color of McBus. of graduate school. This meeting should prove Quentin Rissler, Michelle Rosenburg, Jennifer (the face) kept on trying to score even after Gotta go!! See ya next week. to be very rewarding for all members! Please Scheaffer, and Michael Schorr. going 4 and 5 at the meet. Bull and Finch make a conscious effort to attend! Hors The new senior initiates are Lisa Bisbee, anyone? Sean was close behind with 3 and 6, Newman Club d’oeuvres and pastry will be served! Luca Bortolami, Stephen Boyinton, Jason while Craig wasn’t quite aggressive enough to A BRIEF business meeting will follow. Chenard, Lisa Cocco, Robert Douglas, Shawn pick up any wins for the day. The Newman club had a busy and successful Topics to be discussed are: upcoming flower Gordon, Brian Gosselin, Robert Gregory, Thanks to BU for the meet, and for inviting B-Term. A prayer group has been started. If sale fundraiser, yearbook pictures, SWE tech­ Matthew Henderson, Matthew Hwang, Yineet us out for the pizza and beer after. Oh yeah, you are interested contact Matt Dykoff. nical paper competition, dues and the soon to Jain, Gerardo Leute-Megros, Gregory Lind, many thanks to Sharon, just for being Sharon, The hayride was held in early November be published WPI SWE Newsletter. Elections Robert Mitchell, Scott Odiemo, Christiano and for the rides in her truck. “Ready, mum.” and was a great success. A cookout was held for 1991 officers will also take place. See you Pierry, John Powers, Mark Regan, Michael On December 9 there will be a foil directing before the ride at the center, and then everyone tonight! Savageaux, Eric Schnieder, Jagmit Singh, clinic at the Boston Fencing Club. All foilists headed off to the hayride, which proved to be REMINDER TO NON-PAID MEMBERS: Laura Wagner, Michael Ward, and Jonathan are encouraged to attend. Talk to me about it a great time for all who attended. The CROP Dues must be paid by the end of the term, else Webster. if you are interested. collection for the hungry went well, and we you will be dropped from our mailing list. Initiates are reminded to wear their polished Attack, counterattack, attack off target, thank everyone who donated money and who Please send your completed application and a bents on Wednesday and Thursday, December nothing done - Bruce. worked the table. Christmas caroling is com­ $10.00 check made out to “WPI SWE” to the 5 and 6, in preparation for the initiation cere­ ing up soon - if you are interested, contact SWE mailbox - box 5986. If you still need an mony. More congratulations go to the initiates Men’s Glee Club Terry Crochitiere. On December 9, the New­ application, please contact Beth Landers (box for great work on their pledge projects, and for man Club will host the annual Christmas mass 1962, 791-7731). displaying the character and principles syn­ Hope the Thanksgiving break was a good at 9 pm in Alden Hall. A reception will follow onymous with Tau Beta Pi. one for everyone. It has been about 20 days so stick around and socialize. Bishop Harring­ since the last Club Comer, so there should be a ton will be the celebrant of the mass. lot to say. Some things for C-Term that are planned Since that last Club Comer, we have made are another retreat, a return trip to New York, the perilous trek to Wells. Needless to say, I a trip to Boston, and much more. Keep watch­ heard very few complaints. Although the ing this space for more information. / weather was cold (especially in the gym) the See you at the Christmas Mass. weekend was a rousing success - especially for CASH Moe, who managed to win the twist contest at Science Fiction Society the Aurora Inn after the semi-formal. Con­ grats, Moe!! (What was his partner’s name The place is Worcester. The year is not 787, again? Mrs. something?) but 1990. (For those of you thinking of arguing MONEY. As far as all reports go, the students of Wells about B.C. versus A.D. should realize that College enjoyed having us as guests also. Worcester in 1990 B.C. was very similar to Many cries of, “I can’t wait for New York!” “modem day” Worcester in quality of life were heard as we departed the shores of lake except for the fact that the running water was

W rap up your Selling your Holiday Shopping... books back to the bookstore means cash- m o n e y . Bookbuy is on a t t h e b o o k s t o r e . Dec. 10th-14th

G e t a C l u e !

Join NEW SPEAK

There is a writers meeting and a photography G reat holiday gifts AND meeting TONIGHT at 6PM free giftwrapping at: in the Newspeak Office located in the basement of Riley YOUR CAMPUS BOOKSTORE Daniels Side Tuesday December 4,1990 NEWSPEAK Page 9 GREEK CORNER Alpha Chi Rho jump Grimm’s and Tuck’s pecs in the S.S. Sigma Pi passes to Iron Maiden. Ken Dorman M.I.A. Fiacco after finishing Milt’s secret brew with Jim Dowd was the voice behind Elmer Fudd, Welcome back, I trust everyone had a ful­ Skigs’ fireman’s hat on for protection. For the HELLO! I’m in a good mood because I just that’s all folks! Chris Emond is the son of filling (and filling) Thanksgiving break. We latest line on the success of this stunt you can got back from the gym, and I’m feeling espe­ monster truck driver Big Daddy Don Emond. sure had a great time here at the house. call I-8OO-DOGBALLS. Pal-man is looking cially pumped up and huge. Well, not quite as Jorge Figueroa-Arroyo defeated Julio Schavez Those grads know how to throw a bachelor for any information as to the whereabouts of large and super-human as Dwight, my idol, but to win the Peurto Rican Bamtam weight title. party. Thank you Mario, for your insightful his black boots. He believes that they were maybe someday... David Fortin became a volunteer fire fighter so comments last time. They were much appreci­ stolen by a scruffy looking man wearing a blue Where did we get these pledges of ours, he could put more auxiliary lights on his car. ated by all. Next time why don’t you just go hat saying “Join the Teamsters.” This same anyway? We try to teach them, but they just Salvatone Gencarelli is wanted for the where- leave broken bottles all over a playground or man was also seen snooping around the coffin refuse to follow friendly advice. Big Bertha bouts of Jimmy Hoffa. Joel Grandin failed the something. Remind me never to leave town supposedly looking for the phone number of should be around more often! Let me say one post-toumament drug test, title goes to Cal­ again. I can’t think of enough compliments for someone named Lana. more thing about those silly maggots - Squir­ lahan and Perullo. Kurt Gusek was one of the the postulant class after last night’s fiasco. We rel, you will learn to regret those words ha, ha, famous three to escape from Alcatraz. Pete sure had fun sitting around in the dark singing Phi Sigma Sigma ha. Gyordia used to be full time Londonderry “Amici.” Really, though, we had no idea! Ha, ha, ha! Well, I dare say there have been Burger King playground monitor. Chris Anyone who “played the drums” on the Cube Aloha! Here’s to wishing we were in a some interesting rumors floating around. Mansur was a henchman for the Penguin in the should be ashamed of yourselves. As if Gerry warmer climate! Super special thanks to Tina Indeed, Tavares, I thought it was against the original Batman. Chris Menard thought WPI could actually sit still for two hours. Congratu­ for all her hard work in planning the exciting LAW to do things like that with your sister! was a two year refrigeration and air-condition­ lations to Malone for a successful boning. And “Country Christmas” this weekend. An out­ Bert’s a what?! Well, happy father’s day! ing repair school. Ken Montaro attempted Bonger took all of that NoDoz for no reason, standing time was had by all, especially An­ Scooter’s getting sensitive with his friend from suicide during a game of Dungeons and Drag­ too.Alpha Chi Rho’s initiation of the BYOB drea and Chuck! (For all of you gamblers, Texas... probably even get married pretty ons. Tony Rainka once caught a baby falling policy last Friday turned out pretty well. Donna was the winner of the unofficial con­ soon! from the 3rd floor of a burning building, but Thanks to everyone who contributed to its test.) Well, on the social scene (we’ll just bla­ instinctively drop kicked it into the hands of success. Remember, the Christmas dinner is Congratulations to our newest pledges, Jen tantly skip sports this week), Snowflake is Scott Remillard who took it for a mark. Jon today. As a reminder, Swindell wants me to Shaw and Erin Larson! Welcome aboard girls, coming up (and I don’t mean Lima’s semester Swanson is the world fly-weight bench press say that it’s today. So it’s today. So don’t miss and get psyched on Phi Sig Sig! report)! That’s right - Friday is the big day, and champion. Tom Sacco is not just the hair club it.Get your presents ready for the festivities Thanks to Sig Ep for the festivities last if you don’t have a date by now, I’m sure president, he’s also a client. Tom Schurman this weekend. week, everyone had fun, and Maryellen even Conkey would be glad to set you up with some won the Nintendo International at Augusta. Hopefully the Elves will be a little more managed to make it after the Q&A. The of his friends... Also, it’s always good to see John Perullo rained shattered flass on five girls intelligent than last year’s pair. “Chicken pledges also had an event last week, raking alumni like Menard buying us beer. Thanks form St. Mary’s school for the blind during an Sandwich Santa” should be in rare form. leaves for Professor Sisson with the Sig Ep Kris! exhibition game. Finally, Kevin Richards, Goodbye, I’ve got to go start my suff. MIKE pledges. And I’ll leave you with this rare quote from after smoking some bad crack apparently rode The “Secret Santa” party is just around the Flounder... (pounding on my door, with SCSU a stolen skateboard through the front window Alpha Gamma Delta comer, so get in the mood for some Christmas brothers coming up the stairs) “Yer gotta hide of Acapulco’s restaurant. Sources at the scene cheer. And don’t forget we’re Christmas car­ me... they wanna make me drink!” said he was screaming, “...Buffalo wings are The sisters of Alpha Gamma Delta express oling tonight, as well as decorating Fiji’s the Devil’s buggers.” our deepest regrets that the entire student body Christmas tree! Tau Kappa Epsilon Forgiving is giving in. Somehow unforgiv­ was not able to witness the most adorable With only 10 more days until the end of the able clashes keep surfacing. pledges of Theta Chi Fraternity in all their term, get psyched up for another outrageous Hello and welcome back, we hope you all glory! The make up was a definite improve­ dose of Donnamania when we get back from had a restful break and a good Thanksgiving. Zeta Psi ment! Wait! We can show everyone else how break. In the meantime, don’t forget to drop We would also like to take this chance to wish cute you looked - we have pictures! Pledges, any old clothes (or socks) into the box for the all the members of the WPI community a very Greetings from the asylum. It’s real peace­ you should tell your brothers that if they really shelter, and don’t forget to do your part for our merry holiday season. For those of you that ful here, at least when there’s no screaming. wanted pictures of us so badly, we would have environment—recycle that paper. might have forgot, we would like to remind you They finally caught me again. I guess giving obliged. No need to go stalking around taking Special hellos this week to Evelyn, Theresa, that we have moved to 63 and 65 Wachusett St. enemas to goldfish wasn’t such a good idea. things that don’t belong to you. Beth R. and Ellen. Good luck to everyone as we We are settling in fine and looking forward to Oh well, esta es la vida mia. What’s up in Mr. Well, to all those who decorated the tree start to wrap up the temi, try not to get too some great times in the weeks, months and Zete’s neighborhood this week? In the R-Type down at the house - it looks fabulous! Sister- stressed out (Jeanette)! LITP. years to come. crusade, level six (bodge) has finally been moms, the books look great. I hope the pledges Well, as we are getting ready for our annual breached. All you hunters in the house, don’t know how much we love them! Get out there Sigma Alpha Epsilon Christmas Party we would like to thank the leave any more dead birds around (bodge), but and get those signatures and remember some sisters of Delta Phi Epsilon who chose to bring more rabbit (watch out Cindy!!), or at sisters aren’t so quick to give them away! All Congratulations to our pledges for setting a kidnap our vice president, Abe, last week... least close to it. How about those Loud Guy you pledges who are perpetually forgetting new house record for most Sundays in a row! Good Job. We look forward to revenge in the and Loud Girl tag team noisemakers? (bodge) your pins, Yee and Hollybeth to name a couple, (The brothers would like to thank Lady near future. To our New Members we would Does everyone like the Dave and Murph seven your letters are entertaining however you don’t Ducharme for coordinating this record.) like to thank you for the Awesome Christmas A.M. universal wakeup call that has now seem to learn your lesson, do you? I wouldn’t Another deserved commendation goes to the Tree, Thank Goodness it was not a shrubberry. extended to the second floor? (Maybe Loud forget from now on if I were you. Don’t forget pledges for their tremendous efforts on a raid A big TKE Thank You goes to Cheryl Lesley Guy is no longer deserved of the title, and we the hayride Friday night. It will put you in a that resembled the German Blitzkrieg. Who for her great holiday gift to the Brothers of the need a vote of no confidence at the next House Christmas mood just in time for the holiday will it be... coy, mahoney, bruce, dog, zam, or Zeta-Mu Chapter, we will never forget you. Meeting.) Quote of the week from Fred: formal on Saturday! Have fun everyone. could there be a L.L. or a darkman waiting to Oh, Happy birthday to Ricardo and Marc, we “Where’s the sunset?” (bodge) Hey Schroeder, draw the lines to complete the box?”Pete it’s are sure that you two will love your present. where’s Lucy? Maybe play a little Beethoven, Alpha Tau Omega hot in here I want to take a shower.””Go away... Well, I guess that brings this little column to a turn down the lights... The migrating boot I’ve got to much civil to do.”Congratulations close and it looks like this may be my last so mugs have decided to launch an all out offen­ First of all, we would like to welcome: Bill to P-Pod who has just been granted a license good luck to our new officers in C-Term, and sive on Pete’s room, since the covert opera­ Bames, Bill Blanchard, Rick Dubois, Troy too obliterate his liver (as a career).Mike New Members keep up the Psych. tions have failed, (bodge) Who wants creamed Dayon, Pat Miller, Chris Lever, Ted Mason, “Guilio” Gibbs please come to the house to TKE- The Time Is Now. soup for dinner? I say we make cream of Tom Mitchell, John Harrington, Andy Bow­ pick up your Bob Marley CD collection and Steward, or maybe iguana stew, (bodge) man, Dave Waller, Pat Murphy, Alex Takian, your twenty some odd fishing rods. Maybe Theta Chi Pledges, hope you got more motivated after Kevin Warden, Pat O’Donnell, and Cory when “Chuckles” Merry stops asking ques­ the work party, I know Taz enjoyed it. You’re Belden. Thanks guys for helping spread the X- tions he will take the plunge for his wife to be? The brothers of Theta Chi fraternity hope doing great at learning your stuff and getting mas spirit in the Tau-House. Rumor has it Yes, in the pond. Yes chuckles you may walk everyone had a fun and fattening Thanksgiv­ interviews, but it helps to have a successful raid Fiacco is out looking for a few “Good Fellas” in. And yes it will be cold. Enough ing. or kidnapping. to ride with after his partner was hospitalized questions.We should all thank Stiller for gen­ Brothers, here are some little unknown facts Now for the headlines. Keep the planning for trying to jump the Tau House on his new erously introducing us to the great historical about our new pledge class. Dan Beauregard going for the MDA project. Thanks Pete for Harley-Davidson, but ended up short as he hit figure Samuel Adams. Stop by anytime Wad. stole Al Capone’s treasure before Geraldo getting the sliding doors fixed. Thanks to those the Crow’s Nest fire escape and was thrown Sully a word from the green grocer... don’t eat could get to it. Peter Baltatzidis another Greek, who contributed to the IFC auction. Thanks to onto the roof of the tool shed. When he was spoiled meat. Oh sure that wasn’t you doing 95 there goes the neighborhood. Kyle Brownrigg Rob from International HQ for visiting for a rescued by the police he was allegedly quoted m.p.h., it was a car identical to yours... right! was once caught naked in the pastry section of couple days. as saying, “One small step for mankind... one Brothers and pledges let us welcome WPI’s Store 24. Ryan Burke’s father moved to That’s all for this session, it’s time for my giant step... for Harley-riders.” finest instructors to our faculty open house on Marshfield, MA to have an affair with Pat. injections. Til Taz eats Saddam Hussein’s The “Orb” was also seen practicing a simil- Dec. 7. We hope all faculty will stop by for the John Coyle modeled for J. Crew when he was shorts, nuff said. iar stunt, although he will be attempting to festive occasion. Until next time... FLY ALF 14. Jim Daigle sold his body for backstage MAJOR IN CAREER SUCCESS THROUGH GOLDSMITH AIR FORCE ROTC. APARTMENTS Whether you’re majoring Walk to Worcester Polytechnic Institute In a highly specialized area or 7 9 9 - 6 0 7 6 seeking a broader liberal arts educa­ tion, you can build a higher level of total career potential: Join Air Force ROTC. That one step distinguishes you above all others In your field. It shows that you’re serious about culti­ 3 Bedrooms, Super Modem, 2 Bedrooms, vating greater long-term opportunities. It gives you the Self-Cleaning Oven, Dishwasher, Quiet, Stately Building, chance to develop leadership skills that will serve Auto-Defrost 2-Door Refrigerator, Self-Cleaning Oven, Dishwasher, throughout your life. Call Carpet Air Conditioning, Parking, Auto-Defrost 2-Door Refrigerator, Laundry Room Carpet Parking, Laundry Room DEPT OF AEROSPACE STUDIES $ 7 2 5 - $ 7 8 5 $ 5 9 5 - $ 6 2 5 (508)831-5747

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'%-4» • •« Page 10 NEWSPEAK Tuesday D ecem ber 4,1990 TWO TOWERS AFTER HOURS PRESENTS:

Friday, Dec. 7th 8 PM in Gompei’s $1.00

SCO TT JONES and his entertainment extravaganza is coming your way! Stand-up com edy and strange pictures...high-tech music and ridiculous characters...rubber toys and electronic devices! He has performed at over a thousand colleges and been nominated National Campus Entertainer of the Year five years in a row. His comedy slide show has been splitting sides in com edy clubs across the country. M ac N. tosh, the computer and his stack of keyboards become an entire orchestra on stage. There’s non-stop fun for everyone, so spend the night of your life in the laugh lane with SC O TT JONES!

“I laughed so hard I passed an ice cube through my nose” -Barb Scott, Com edienne, California Tuesday December 4,1990 NEWSPEAK Page 11 CLASSIFIEDS

Newspeak will run classifieds free for all WPI students, faculty, and staff. Free classifieds are limited to six (6) lines. Ads BECOME A WPI STUDENT AM­ Roy, Barbara, I sure could go for a of a commercial nature and ads longer than six lines must be paid for at the off campus/commercial rate of $5 00 for the first six BASSADOR! Visit your high school over general reference right now... Maggie lines and 50 cents per additional line. Classified ads must be paid for in advance. term break and share your enthusiasm for No information which, in the opinion of the Newspeak editors, would identify an individual to the community will be printed in a personal ad. The editors reserve the right to refuse any ad deemed to be in bad taste or many ads from one group or individual WPI with prospective students. Informa­ For Rent: 3-4 bedroom apartment off on one subject. tion packets are available in the Admis­ Highland St. Call 835-2806. The deadline for ads is the Friday before publication. sions Office. Contact Anne Harris at 831 - All classified ads must be on individual sheets of paper and must be accompanied by the writer's name, address and phone 5286 TUTORING Calculus - Physics, all EE Name Phone courses $5-$ 10/hr. Call 831-5714. Address Total Enclosed $ Akira shall return! Load, what will it be this week? Nachos Allow only 30 characters per line SPRING BREAK in Cancun or Baha­ or some heinous chick? - your feisty mas from $299.00! Includes roundtrip air, blonde, catch me if you can. 7 nights hotel, cruise, beach parties, free lunch and much more! Organize a small Please RECYCLE! Bring your recy­ group-eam a free trip plus commision. clable paper to one of the bins located in Call 1-800-BEACH IT for more informa­ every academic building. It’s easy and tion. you can make a difference. Be sure and order your Pig Sandwiches Ok, Ok, Ok Evan... you were right. before the holiday rush. Now stop gloating. Cigars, hormones, aw man, U R such a The time was six o’clock on the Swatch interested for more information. Luv ya Matt, but next time spell my jerk, well..l don’t like roast beef, freshman Watch, No time to chill, gotta dance, tak- name right (only one n, and don’t tell me it KAPs, I never, look out J.B.-T.B.’s on the inga chance, HEY! Maybe someone will CYNICS CORNER: Once upon a was the typesetter). -Bill dance floor, place your bets - it’s a letter do me... Mooove to the Back Terrace... time... they lived happily ever after. Well, from M.M. OOOOOh that Booty, Smack it up, flip it, at least they got half of it right. THE FIRST MEGASPOOTEMPLE Rub it down, Oh NO! Do Club Berk­ OF THE SQUIRTING YETI DOBBS(...) Chad, Steph, Eric, Helene: Do you shire... For rent: 3 room apt. next to campus. We may not have all the answers, but we always (dot, dot, dot) OH! I get it now! h. Sleep late and not be late. Spiral staircase sure as heck have a lot of questions. WPI Highland Walk. Two, three, four to bedroom. 152 West St. Call 835-2806. Contact box 709 for Eternal Salvation... Advisor needed for Animation Club. bedroom apartments, $390 up. gas stove, OR TRIPLE YOUR MONEY BACK! Faculty interested please contact Brian refrigerator. Rent now until May. Edie The Plan is Coming Bikowicz at Box 1065.______799-2728 or 755-2996. Phi Sig Sig: LITP = Life In Twin Peaks? Cruise Ship Jobs Schmucks ain’t so bad... Life Is The Pits? we’ll get it right some­ H IR IN G Men - Women. Summer/ Animation Club meeting this Wednes­ day... Year Round. PHOTOGRAPHERS. day, December 5, at 5:30pm in the Lower Portable Guterman STRINGING TOUR GUIDES. RECREATION PERSONNEL. Excellent pay plus FREE travel. Caribbean, Wedge. Everyone is welcome. MACHINE for Sale. Only one year old W e’re really lucky that the speed of Hawaii, Bahamas. South Pacific, Mexico. and barely used. Includes all claps and a light is as fast as it is. - BOB C A L L N O W I Call refundable. YO DOODS PARTY ON... reel of string. $175. Call Chuck at 791 - 1-206-736-0775, E xt.600N 8076 All my barriers are going, it’s starting to SCHOLARSHIPS, Typing needed? No extra time with show...Let go, Let go.. FELLOWSHIPS, GRANTS your busy schedule? Professional typist Looking to trade CD’s one for one over ED’S SERVICES will type your thesis reports, term papers, 100 different titles all types of music. Call The Venice Project Center still has BOX 3006 resumes, cover letters, etc. Will pick up Dan at 757-9283 some openings for Term D. Call Lee BOSTON, MA 02130 and deliver at WPI. Call 885-9945 if Becker (CS) at ext. 5408 for more infor­ mation. You asked for a computer that’s real college material.

We heard you.

The ideal computer for college needs certain things. Like a you’l l receive a TWA Certificate entitling you to a round- mouse, to make it easy to use. Preloaded software, that'll let trip ticket for $149**/$249.** Plus a free TWA G etaway* you create impressive papers w ith graphics and spreadsheets. Student Discount Canl application. You’ll also get a great And great tools, like a notepad, calendar and cardfile. It low price on the PRODIGY® service. should also be expandable, so it can grow w ith your needs. The PS/2* is perfect for college because you told us The IBM Personal System/2* has all this at a special just what you needed. And no one knows what it takes to be student price * And if you buy before December 31,1990, real college material better than you.

•This Otter IS ava

Fo r $ 2 0 , a $100 value WE'LL LET YOU Ha n g o u t INIHEQUAD l Come to the bookstore and fill out a chance! What do you $20 M id -Week Lift Ticket. have to lose? No purchase is necessary and what a great present this stuffed TEDDY would make...for you or Why hang out between the student union and the library, when someone on your holiday shopping list. you can be letting it all hang out at Mount Snow, Vermont on any one of our 84 trails. To hang-out even longer, join SnowBreak '91, Jan. 7-11 and 14-18 —a week of parties, games, parties, parties and skiing! For a taped ski report, call (802) 464-2151. For more informa­ Raffle to be drawn at the Bookstore tion, call (802) 464-8501. December 12th Sftoutt* 0noUi When It Comes To Big Mountain Skiing, No One Else Is Close. ’ O ffe r g o od M onday th ro ug h Friday, n o n h o l*d a y w ith a curren t college 10. © M o u n t Snow lt d . 1990 This rendition of the Teddy Bear is not a true likeness. It is a stuffed animal/it can be seen at the bookstore. SOCCOMM presents “Better Off Dead” Wednesday, December 5th 8:00 pm Gompei’s Place It’s Free!