November 21, 1983 Page 5 WLOM rises from ashes of WHFS by Tony Sclafani "cult" following formed the Washington Council following the previous station's demise. Now the for Progressive Radio and collected 18,000 signa- progressive format has a 70 mile radius and a Boring! Yawn! tures on petitions in an effort to "save progressive very powerful output, a far cry from the old days. Radio is boring. This is an opinion to some, a radio." In the months following, Jake Einstein But why the call letters WLOM? fact to others. But what it amounts to is that issued several statements declaring that the "They stand for, I believe. 'Love Our Music,'" modern commercial radio isn't terribly interest- WHFS format would be saved, even if at first, he said Weasel. "The station will be called WHFS ing or fun to listen to, because, like TV, all it wasn't sure exactly where. again, as soon as the FCC gives us permission." offers is the same old stuff. By now, progressive fans were coming out of (For the record, WHFS stands for High Fidelity It's easy to see that on radio there are only a the woodwork, forming the WHFS Listeners Stereo, because it was one of the first stereo handful of things that break out of the normal Alliance, protesting to the FCC, writing editor- stations in the D.C. area.) straight-jacketed format: the scattered college ials in local papers, and even trying to raise Weasel commented on the some of the major radio stations, some late night talk shows, and enough money to buy the station (!) changes in the move to Annapolis. "It's different the few independently owned, free-form radio Consequently, Einstein started negotiating to now because we have to commute to work. I used stations. WHFS, at 102.3 FM was one of these buy WEAM, an AM station located in Falls to just run downstairs and go on the air, since I stations. Church, that was up for sale at the time. The lived in the building. It's like a real job now! Doing what other stations wouldn't dream of, problem was that WEAM's listeners were as'ded- "We've changed the shifts around also. On the small 3000 watt, D.C.-based station broad- icated to that station's big-band music as WHFS' weekdays now, it's Dianne 6:00-10:00 a.m., Damian 10:00-2:00, me from 2:00-6:00, Bob 6:00-10:00, Sarah 10:00-2:00, and Mark 2:00- The Dirge: Pubescent drunks 6:00. On weekends it's Adele in the morning and Milo at night, with maybe [part timer] Jim Dun- bar also. On Sundays there's the ethnic shows, and Milo's reggae show." whip up Oddball Highballs The DJ's have also had some problem with by Bryan Denson full of mescal in an old fashioned glass full of ice learning to operate new equipment so quickly. cold beer. Garnish with a stopwatch to time how "It's a new station, and it was really set up for the This column too often deals with alcohol and long it takes for the beer to warm. old automatic "mellow" format, so we have some • The Denson Doldrums: This one was disco- new equipment on order," said Weasel. its effects upon those of us who overindulge, and for this I must apologize. Nevertheless, it is a vered one night when I was "low on spirits" and More importantly though, the move to Anna- high on morale. Fill a highball glass with water. polis has given WHFS a previously untapped mighty pleasure to introduce MANKIND'S TOP 10 ODDBALL HIGHBALLS. Pour all the liquor you have, an ounce here and audience in the Baltimore area, many of whom an ounce there and a couple of drops over there, have never heard a free-form station before. But first I must explain that 1 stumbled upon this idea quite a few years ago with my 13 year into a single glass. Drain it in one sustained series Weasel defined the unique format as "doing a of pulls from the glass. Pour the water down your whole lot of different things at once." old contemporary Larry Anderson. We had been experimenting with mixed drinks, often very throat and hang on for the ride. Leap tall build- He elaborated somewhat: "The idea of pro- ings in a single bound. Go to a fancy restaurant gressive radio is a matter of opinion. We're pro- explosive and gut-wrenching highballs, in Lar- ry's basement for just about a year when we and eat Chocolate Mousse with your hands. Pro- gressive in the sense that we don't have a position policemen and give all your money to 50-record playlist, we play various types of music began to list the top ten all-time losers. Other kids collected stats on Boog Powell and Luis winos. Leap out of tall buildings in a single and we play a lot of independent records, bound. although we play the major labels as well. Aparicio, but not us; we made notes on the satu- "There are some people who define progres- ration point of a quartered lime in Bacardi 151 sive radio as being the latest new wave or hard- rum, discovered six ways to cut the hard edge off core piece, but that's not exactly what it is. We mescal and grapefruit juice, and listed 32 drinks get some flack because one person's idea of pro- which contained both orange juice and vodka. gressive is not the same as another's." Thanks to the Mr. Boston Deluxe Official Bar- Weasel also explained how the DJ's sets origi- tender's Guide, and our proficiency at siphoning nate. "We have no playlist, so my sets are usually liquor from our parents' well stocked booze cup- out of my head, since I've been doing this for so boards, we had fairly well become lushes at the many years. I just go in there and start off with a age of 13. concept and take it from there. Our parents had been too cheap to buy us "What we play is also an interaction between chemistry sets, so we made our own. Ours us and the audience. If we play a tune and it gets a included a blender, nine different types of booze, and all the necessary ingredients—margarita The often-heard yet seldom-seen Weasel, veteran DJ from WHFS/WLOM. tremendous reaction we play it with more frequency.'' salt, bar sugar, and olives among them—to keep cast its own brand of progressive rock, which listeners were to progressive, and did the same It is with this method that WHFS helped to us occupied with our experiments in inebriation. included a discreet blend of old and new rock, thing as you-know-who's listeners. break previously unheard-of artists—such as Larry had somehow managed to procure an pop, folk, experimental, and progressive music. Keeping with the listeners' faith, WHFS Bruce Springsteen, Bonnie Raitt. and Squeeze— unopened bottle of tequila during our collection The disc jockeys also differed from the usual broadcast straight through all of these proceed- into the bigtime. Some of the standard WHFS of distilled spirits. That bottle of Jose Cuervo monolithic announcers. ings. Veteran DJ Weasel (Jon Gilbert) said of the songs of a few years ago have become big hits was to be our undoing. But before 1 explain, I Going directly against the restricting format of time, "There was a lot of pressure on us those now. Billy Idol's two year old "Dancing With must return to the promised MANKIND'S TOP other FM stations was how WHFS garnered its seven months we spent in limbo. When we finally Myself," is a prominent example. 10 ODDBALL HIGHBALLS: small but rabid cult following and earned a fair went off it was a feeling of relief more than Since it is getting close to Christmastime, it is • The Green Russian: Fill a 16-ounce tumbler amount of national recognition not usually anything." interesting to note that WHFS is one of the few with ice and pour 2 and one half ounces of vodka reserved for radio stations. So...the station finally did gooff the air when it FM stations that still plays a good amount of over it. Add 1-2 ounces Kahlua and fill the glass Every WHFS listener knew that although was sold to WTOP for $2.2 million, and in the seasonal music. "Nobody does that anymore, but with lime-flavored Gatorade. Garnish with a WHFS probably couldn't measure up to most three months following the shutdown, WHFS' that's one of our traditions; we like to have fun model replica of the Enola Gay. Let me explain that the formulation of these other FM "AOR" stations numbers-wise, it listeners were kept in the dark about what was with it." Many local progressive listeners would • The Drambuie Downer: In a beer stein add a strange brews was the result of many torturous would always have a small but receptive going on with the negotiations with WEAM, or argue that winter just wouldn't be the same with- seven-ounce Rolling Rock beer and an ounce of and exhausting hours in Larry's basement with audience, open to what it was trying to do. anyone else. out WHFS. Drambuie to an ounce of brandy. Garnish with a the blender and a cautious ear listening for the WHFS broadcast this wildly eclectic format for But then all of a sudden, WLOM Annapolis But some might argue that nothing would be half-dozen valiums. sounds of his mother's footsteps coming down 15 years. became "Progressive 99" on Friday, October 28. the same without local progressive radio, as the • The Spirited Spritzer: Fill a 16-ounce the stairs. Then on July 15,1983. it went off the air. If listeners were startled to find the old "new" three month summer'hiatus of WHFS attested. tumbler with ice and add 2 ounces of vodka and As 1 explained earlier, Larry had accumulated WHFS is back now, as WLOM Annapolis at sound had been resurrected, the DJs were almost The atmosphere of random tunes, spontaneous an dunce of peppermint schnapps. Pour in the among our bartending possessions a bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila, which we manage/! to drink 99.1 FM, but how it ended up there is a story in as surprised. Jake Einstein closed the $2.8 mil- talk, and even some live appearances by guests juice of one lemon and add 6 ounces of 7-Up. itself. When WHFS finally played that last song lion deal with WLOM and its sister AM station like George Thorogood and NRBQ, is different, Garnish with a peppermint. while developing the recipe for the East Texas over the airwaves it symbolized the end of seven WNAV just about a week before the station but is it for everyone? • The Popeye: In a pilsner glass place carefully Sumbiteh. That drink, much to my chagrin, is long months of confusion as well as the end of an began broadcasting in the manner you hear now. "Your tastes have to be fairly sophisticated to an ounce of green creme de menthe in the bot- claimed as the house drink at the Palestine era. Earlier in the year it was reported that Jake Almost overnight, the old automated beautiful- listen to us. If you really want to hear something tom, being careful not to touch the sides of the (Texas) Holiday Inn. Einstein, general manager and part owner of music format was abandoned and a few thou- that's safe as milk, like the^ame 40 tunes over glass. Squeeze the juice of two whole lemons and I don't know how they got the recipe. Perhaps WHFS, had sold the station to a firm called the sand albums, only one-tenth of WHFS' old and over again, than you may find it difficult to a lime into the glass, being sure to cover the sides it traveled word of mouth all the way to East Outlet Company, and the station's format was collection, were trucked over. listen to us, " said Weasel. "You have to be of the glass with the citrus. Into the pulpy creme Texas from Larry's basement. going to be changed to all news. The 50,000 watt WLOM was a godsend for the broad-minded. We're trying to stimulate your de menthe mixture, add an ounce of Midori But I digress and must return to the tequila In a few weeks, once news of this hit home, the progressive fans who had all but given up hope intellect." melon liquer and a liberal squirt of green food nightmare, i coloring. Add two ounces of rum and tonic water Larry and 1 finished the last of the tequila and chill in freezer until slushy (two hours). Gar- and....Wait a minute! My very first writing ff nish with a leaf of spinach. instructor at UMBC, Susan Baldwin, who is now M*A*S*H" exhibit exploits mass media trivia • The East Texas Sumbiteh: In a highball glass a PR flack over in the Admin building, once told filled with ice place 2Vi ounces of tequila and an me never to write about vomit. She said she was ounce of Kahlua. Cover with half and half. Gar- the kind of person who sees someone vomit and by Jeff Seidel Room, the Swamp, and many of the characters One interesting technique attempted was that nish with the bark you chew off several trees just then follows them. And that nobody likes to read more famous possessions, such as Hawkeye's of contrasting pictures of real MASHes with after you begin howling at the moon. about puke. Did you ever notice that we Americans seem to partying shirt, and the still. scenes from the show. This worked pretty well, as • The Patriotic Colada: Make a regular Coco- So 1 won't talk about vomit, bile, barfing, be afflicted with a terminal case of nostalgia? We However, there are many flaws with the exhi- you can see the degree to which details were Lopez Pina Colada, but add red, white, and blue praying to the porcelain aitar, taking a ride on remember everything. If something is here today bition. First of all, over half of it is just pictures made exact, which enhaced the show's believabi- food coloring (in patches) and garnish with a the porcelain bus, calling hogs, retching, puking, and gone tomorrow, we spend all of the next day with warm rememberances of the characters and tlity. They also showed some pictures from the napalm-covered Grenadian citizen. heaving, throwing up, or any of the above. mourning over it. Such is the case with what they meant. In addition to that, we have Vietnam War to illustrate how the medical tech- • The Fitness Fizz: Pour two ounces of bour- Instead I will call it singing at the top of our "M*A*S*H", arguably the best and most popu- pictures with warm remeberances of the actors niques learned in Korea were applied in later bon over a 16-ounce tumbler of ice and add a lungs. His mother bolted downstairs during one lar television show of our time. The damn thing and what they mean. Big deal. Also, the exhibit is combat, and this was a nice touch. 6-ouncecan of V-8 juice. Add a sprinkle of wheat of our operatic crescendos and found all the isn't even in the box nine months and already we so short that you could really go through it in Despite these postive aspects of it, there was germ (really) and a dash of tabasco, a dash of stolen booze. have: LA television spin-off from it, 2. Millions five minutes if you wanted to. one negative aspect that seemed to almost out- Worcestershire sauce and two tablespoons of Old We were harmonizing still when my father of souvenirs from it, and 3. An exhibition on it at One major flaw is that some characters in the weigh everything. A souvenir stand was set up Bay Seasoning. Fill rest of tumbler with the juice came to pick me up. And we felt the urge all the the National Museum of American History in show were hardly seen. I never saw Charles, B.J., where you could buy everything but Hawkeye's of one lemon and carrot juice. Garnish with a next day to break into song at the least mention Washington. Frank, etc. but 1 saw Hawkeye, enough times. jockstrap. For example, you could buy your jock strap and a six-pack of beer. of food. My father was wont to mention frying The exhibit is entitled "M*A*S*H, Binding Unless you have been in a cave for the past few Charles Emerson Winchester action doll, or your • The Mangy Midori Mouthwash: On a morn- bacon on hungover days throughout my life, Up the Wounds," and contains many of the years, then you realize that Alan Alda is hot very own personalized dog tags. Ugh. ing when you really need the "hair of the dog" usually sending me to the bathroom for a quick actual props from the set in California. property, but the exhibit is about "M*A*S*H". Even the Smithsonian has now fallen prey to pour a four-ounce serving of Midori melon tenor solo. "M*A*S*H" fanatics can gawk at the Operating not Alda. the dreaded disease of commercialism. People liquer in a glass and brush you teeth with it until But on this adolescent hangover day my father seemed to be more interested in this stand than in it is gone, occasionally bathing your uvulas and took me aside and told me he was upset with me, the display itself, and that's sad. The exhibit was tongue with it. Use a strong spearmint toothpaste but not mad; for he'd done the same thing when a fine one, but maybe it should have been titled to finish the job. Garnish with the can of warm he was my age. Then he made me eat a half "The Selling of'M*A*S*H.'" beer you found next to your bed. pound of salt pork. And 1 sang and sang and • The Terrible Torpedo: Submerge a shot glass sang.

, i Low key Our Town bores Baltimoreans

by Shari Saverino injected a sugary solution before the production in order to gain her syrupy portrayal of Emily. Our Town, Center Stage's second production The majority of the characters are bland and this season, is touted as "a wistful and deceptively typical. The stereotype of everyday existence in simple look at the everyday life in Grover's 1938 is reminiscent of reruns of The Waltons. Corners, New Hampshire." Wistful? Not neces- Wilder defended the concepts of his play. "Our sarily. Boring? Quite possibly. Town is not offered as a picture of life in a New Thornton Wilder, who received the Pulitzer Hampshire village....It is an attempt to find a Prize for the play in 1938. surely must have had a value above all price for the smallest events in our purpose in mind when he penned it; however, daily life. 1 have made the claim as preposterous that purpose is not evident in this particular pro- as possible, for 1 have set the village against the duction. Our 7bw7i is certainly unique. The stage largest dimensions of time and place. manager/narrator (Robert Gerringer) sets the "Our claim, our hope, our despair are in the scene and guides the audience through Grover's mind, not in things, not in 'scenery". Molieresaid Corners. He directs the audience's attention to that for theater, all he needed was a platform and implicit subleties of the action. Gerringer is one a passion or two. The climax of this play only bright spot in the performance, bringing levity to needs five square feet of boarding and a passion otherwise soporific dialogue. to know what life means to us." The scenery is closed to criticism, only because Perhaps I've been too harsh. Perhaps, I didn't the script calls for none. Perhaps Wilder was give this performance of one of America's classics aimingat an exercise of theatrical experimenta- a fair chance. My companion claimed to have tion. Instead, he succeeds in an exercise of theat- enjoyed the production, but was amenable to my rical futility. suggestion that we adjourn to the theater's bar The play focuses on a love story between after the second act of the three act play. The George Gibbs (Peter Mackenzie) and Emily critique on the merits of the play, however, came Webb (Lili Flanders). The aspect of courtship after a few rounds of Mexican coffees. and marriage in a small town would have been Center Stage has too much potential as an more palatable if it had been delivered more important source of culture in the Baltimore area effectively. Flanders, in an attempt to obtain to waste its time and money on such a poor sweet, youthful characteristics, must have self- performance. The operating room from the "M*A*S*H" set, on display at the Smithsonian Institute. David Peterson enjoying his role in Our Town