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Same-Sex Adoption Will Strengthen Israeli Society

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Same-Sex Adoption Will Strengthen Israeli Society Same-Sex Adoption Will Strengthen Israeli Society At the center of Jewish life lies the family -- raising and educating children, providing a loving and caring home, helping children to develop strong values and character, and enabling them to discover the treasure of our traditions. L’dor v’dor. The role of the family in Israel, as in Jewish communities everywhere, is central to the continuity of the Jewish people. The Israeli ministers defending adoption inequality are creating a “crisis of family.” Legally, same-sex families are able to adopt in Israel, but in practice, the State puts their applications at the bottom of the pile, and they are only allowed to adopt a child if no willing heterosexual parents can be found. There have been no more than a handful of instances in the past decade of adoption in Israel by same-sex families. Yet the demand is there and growing – many Israeli same-sex families have used channels abroad, primarily adoption and surrogacy outside of Israel, to create loving families. We stand in support of the Israel Religious Action Center and the Israeli Association of Gay Fathers, who went to the High Court to compel the State to end adoption inequality. The government’s brief to the Court – which stated that adoption by “irregular” families creates “added baggage for the children” – was quickly retracted, but their policy position remains. The Court has given the State three months to develop a new position on the matter. The government’s brief and position have created a justifiable uproar throughout Israeli society. LGBTQ Israelis, their families, and allies across the country are speaking out with unparalleled unity at both the callousness and ignorance of the government’s position. We are writing to add our voice to their cause. After decades of advocacy by its LGBTQ community, Israel has become a leader in many areas of LGBTQ equality, including allowing LGBT people to serve openly in the IDF and providing same-sex families with many of the same benefits and protections that the law provides to straight families. Adoption by same-sex families has been one of the glaring exceptions. On this issue, perhaps there is something for Israel to learn from our experience. In the United States, with a recent federal court decision in Mississippi, adoption by same-sex families is now legal in all 50 states, and in many states such adoptions have been legal for decades. For example, in New York, where many Jewish same- sex couples live, adoption by same-sex couples has been legal since 1995. According to research done at The Williams Institute, same-sex parents raise 4% percent of all adopted children in the United States – one in twenty-five. No competent or credible scientific evidence exists that suggests children raised by same-sex families are any worse off than children raised by heterosexual families. On the contrary, study after study has shown that children raised by same- sex parents fare at least as well as children raised by mixed-gender parents. In the case of United States v Windsor (brought by a lesbian Jewish plaintiff), the United States Supreme Court focused specifically on this issue, raising issues involving dignity, respect and community that are fundamental to the Jewish tradition. Specifically, Justice Kennedy’s opinion for the Court explained that a critical problem with policies like the current one in Israel that deny equal protection to gay parents is that they “humiliate [] . [the] children now being raised by same-sex couples [making] it even more difficult for the children to understand the integrity and closeness of their own family and its concord with other families in their community and in their daily lives.” We have particular experience with this in our Jewish communities. For example, institutions like Jewish Family and Children’s Services have served as leading facilitators of adoption by same-sex families. And our Hebrew Schools, Day Schools, camps and youth groups across the country are filled with bright, well-adjusted children from families with same-sex parents. There are many important qualities that lead to strong, well-adjusted families – but the sexual orientation of parents is not among them. It is time for the Israeli ministries who control the adoption process to acknowledge this reality, and to treat the country’s same-sex families and would-be parents with the equality they deserve. Israel and the Jewish people will be better off for it. אימוץ על ידי זוגות חד מיניים מחזק את החברה הישראלית - במרכזה של היהדות ניצבת המשפחה-- גידול וחינוך ילדים, סיפוק בית חם ואוהב,עזרה לילדים לפתח אישיות וערכים חזקים, והאפשרות לגלות את האוצרות שבמסורת שלנו. לדור ודור, המשפחה בישראל– כמו בכל קהילה יהודית אחרת– תפקידה הוא מרכזי להמשכיות העם היהודי. השרים הישראלים התומכים באי שיוון באימוץ יוצרים "משבר משפחה." תאורטית, זוג חד מיני יכול לאמץ בישראל, אבל - - למעשה, המדינה מציבה את בקשותיהם בתחתית הערימה, והם מורשים לאמץ רק אם אין שום זוג הטרוסקסואלי המסכים לקחת את הילד. ניתן לספור על יד אחת את כמות המקרים בישראל בעשור האחרון בהן אושר אימוץ לזוג חד מיני. והביקוש קיים ואף - גדל– משפחות חד מיניות רבות השתמשו בערוצים אחרים מחוץ למדינה, בעיקר אימוץ ופונדקאות, על מנת ליצור את משפחתם - האוהבת. אנחנו עומדים לצידם של המרכז הרפורמי לדת ומדינה וארגון אבות גאים, שעתרו לבג"צ כדי לגרום למדינה לסיים את אי השוויון באימוץ. טענתה של הממשלה לבג"צ –שהתפיסה בשירות למען הילד היא ש"הילד הנמסר לאימוץ נושא תחושה של חריגות" ולכן רצוי ככל הניתן "להמנע מהעמסת מטען נוסף על הילד"– נלקח חזרה במהרה, אבל המדיניות נשארה בעינה. בית המשפט נתן למדינה חודשיים כדי לפתח עמדה חדשה בנושא. עמדת הממשלה בסוגיית האימוץ יצרה זעם מוצדק בחברה הישראלית. ישראלים להט"בים, משפחותיהם, ותומכיהם ברחבי המדינה מדברים בפומבי ומביעים פה אחד את התסכול מהבורות וחוסר הרגישות של עמדת הממשלה. אנחנו כותבים על מנת - להוסיף את קולותינו לעמדתם. לאחר עשורים של תמיכה בקהילה הגאה, ישראל הפכה למנהיגה בתחומים רבים הנוגעים לשיוויון ללא הבדל של מגדר ונטייה מינית, כולל התרה ללהט"בים לשרת בצה"ל והנתינה לזוגות חד מיניים הגנות והטבות שהחוק מקנה לזוגות הטרוסקסואלים. - סוגיית האימוץ על ידי זוגות חד מיניים הינה יוצאת מן הכלל באופן בולט. בנושא זה, אולי ישראל תוכל ללמוד מן הנסיון שלנו. - - בארצות הברית, עם החלטה של בית הדין הפדרלי במיסיסיפי לאחרונה, כל 50 המדינות מאפשרות כעת אימוץ על ידי זוגות חד - מיניים באופן חוקי, ובהרבה מהן האימוץ מעוגן בחוק כבר שנים רבות. לדוגמא, בניו יורק, מקום בו זוגות חד מיניים יהודים רבים - מתגוררים, אימוץ ילדים על ידי זוגות להט"בים חוקי מאז 1995. לפי מחקר שערך מכון וויליאמס הידוע בקליפורניה, זוגות חד - - מיניים מהווים 4% מכלל המשפחות המאמצות בארה"ב– אחד לכל 25 אימוצים. שום מידע מדעי מהימן שילדים הגדלים להורים במשפחה חד מינית הם פחות טובים מילדים הגדלים במשפחה הטרוסקסואלית - אינו קיים. ההיפך הוא הנכון, מחקרים על מחקרים מוכיחים שילדים הגדלים במשפחות חד מיניות הם לפחות טובים בדיוק כמו - ילדים הגדלים להורים הטרוסקסואלים. במשפט ארה"ב נגד ווינדזור (שבו התובעת היתה יהודיה לסבית) בית המשפט הגבוה של ארה"ב התמקד ספציפית בנושאים אלו, כשהעלה סוגיות של כבוד, אצילות וקהילה נושאים שכה חשובים בחברה היהודית. באופן ממוקד, השופט קנדי הסביר לבית - המשפט שהבעיה בעמדות כמו זו שבישראל, שמונעת הגנה בחוק לזוגות חד מיניים, הינה "משפילה לילדים הגדלים כעת - במשפחות חד מיניות ומקשה אף יותר על ילדים אלה להבין את האחדות והקירבה של המשפחה שלהם והשילוב של המשפחה - בקהילה ובחיי היומיום שלהם." יש לנו נסיון במיוחד בנושא בקהילות היהודיות. למשל, מוסדות כמו המרכז היהודי לשירות למשפחה ולילד היוו מסייעים מובילים לאימוץ על ידי משפחות חד מיניות. ובתי הספר היהודים שלנו, מוסדות הלימוד, המחנות וקבוצות הנוער ברחבי המדינה מלאים - בילדים פיקחים ומנומסים המגיעים ממשפחות עם הורים מאותו המין. יש מאפיינים רבים למשפחות חזקות וטובות– אבל הנטיה המינית של ההורים אינה אחת מהם. הגיע הזמן שהשרים הישראלים המחליטים על תהליכי האימוץ יכירו במציאות הזו, ויתייחסו לזוגות חד מיניים וכאלו המבקשים - להיות הורים בכבוד ובשיוויון הראוי להם. עם ישראל והעם יהודי רק ירוויחו מזה. Dr. Anita Friedman, Jewish Family and Children's Services of San Francisco, San Francisco, CA Roberta Kaplan, Kaplan & Company, LLP, New York, NY Arthur Slepian, A Wider Bridge, San Francisco, CA Bruce Maxwell, A Wider Bridge, Los Angeles, CA A Wider Bridge, San Francisco, CA Central Conference of American Rabbis, Rabbi David Stern, President, New York, NY and Rabbi Steven Fox, CEO Hillel International, Washington, DC Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, Rabbi Jonah Dov Pesner, President, Washington, DC Union for Reform Judaism, Rabbi Rick Jacobs, President, New York, NY Bruce M. Abrams, Esq., Chair, City of San Diego International Affairs Board, San Diego, CA Melissa Adams, Temple Adas Israel, Washington, DC Rabbi Joel Alter, Jewish Theological Seminary, New York, NY Rabbi Heather Altman, Chicago Jewish Community Leader, Chicago, IL Rabbi Camille Shira Angel, San Francisco Jewish Community Leader, San Francisco, CA Gideon Aronoff, Ameinu, New York, NY Susan Barnett, Cause Communications, New York, NY Cantor David Berger, KAM Isaiah Israel, Chicago, IL Suzan Berns, Congregation Rodef Sholom, Mill Valley, CA Alex Bernstein, Officer of the Board of Directors, Jewish Community Relations Council, San Francisco Bay Area, CA Gabriel Blau, Equality New York, New York, NY Rabbi Jacob Blumenthal, Maryland Jewish Community Leader, Gaithersburg, MD Rabbi Robyn Fryer Bozdin, Israel Center of Conservative Judaism, Queens, NY Rabbi James Brandt, CEO, Jewish Federation of the East Bay, Berkeley, CA Prof. David Brodsky, Department of Judaic Studies, Brooklyn College, New York, NY Rabbi Sharon Brous, IKAR, Los Angeles, CA Rabbi Angela Buchdahl, Central Synagogue, New York, NY Jeremy Burton, Boston Jewish Community Leader, Boston, MA Rabbi Michael Z. Cahana, Congregation Beth Israel, Portland, OR Rabbi Dror Chankin-Gould, Anshe Emet Synagogue, Chicago, IL Louise Chernin, President & CEO, Greater Seattle Business Association, Seattle, WA Michael Chertok, President,Congregation Sha'ar Zahav, San Francisco,CA Leah Cohen, Adoption Connection, San Jose, CA Rabbi Kenneth L.
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