Anything Else: More Than Just Another Teen Flick

Page 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 23, 2003 Anything Else: More Than Scopin’ Out the Future Just Another Teen Flick by Phil Watkins

HEATHER OSTROVE watch. Aries (March 21 - April 20) Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23) Retriver Weekly Staff Writer It’s also interesting to see Allen play Dobel because even though he is playing The next time you order food from This month your air conditioning Woody Allen’s new movie, Anything the man with all the answers he is still Golden Gate, make sure to get the bill in the apartments will be $4089.27. Else, is a funny, offbeat, comedy. It playing himself. Dobel is the next level Sesame Chicken. That night the General You’ll wonder why. Try checking out the deals with love, relationships, life, and to all the Woody Allen characters. He Tso’s won’t be chicken, it’ll be the grow lamps in your roommate’s closet. being alone. It’s not your average run of has his answers to love, life and death owner’s cat. Yeah, they’re there. The bastard… the mill romantic comedy, but that’s but he still had to wrestle with the ques- what makes it so much fun. tions. Taurus (April 21 - May 21) Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) Anything Else stars Jason Biggs, Jason Biggs does a wonderful job When you go home today, you’ll get Did you know that your father is in best known for the American Pie playing Falk. One has to remember that a message on AIM from the mob? Yes, he is. When he goes on movies, as Jerry Falk, a young comedy he is basically playing Woody Allen and “Sandi4789392”. She isn’t a hot college “business trips”, it’s really to do a job for writer who hopes to write a novel about he is doing this right next to Woody girl, and she doesn’t want you to watch the family. It’s in your best interest to life. Falk is the quintessential Woody Allen. Other actors have attempted to her and her roommates. It’s a scam, I tell move out and get an assumed name. do this and it has you! A scam! Put your credit card away! seemed as though they are just imitat- ing Allen. Biggs is Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) an exception, Avoid the stairs between the ITE You left the water on. Oops. Say because he is able to building and the ECS building. The “bye bye” to your stereo, which you so imitate Allen and squirrels there will eat your Adidas right foolishly left under your lofted bed. make the character off your pretty little feet. I recommend his own. being a lazy bum and taking the elevator. Chisitina Ricci adds to the long list Cancer (June 22 - July 23) Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20) of Allen heroines, Quit being a vegetarian. It’s not If you don’t pay your cell phone bill the most famous worth it. Those animals are begging to in the next 48 hours, a band of masked being Diane Keaton. be eaten. Don’t you want steak? ninjas are going to break into your home, Ricci makes her Mmmm… marinated in teriyaki sauce, steal your things and beat you in your character, Amanda, with a side of fried onion shreds, and sleep. Pay up. absolutely crazy, but some green beans… Yummy. real in the world Allen has created for her. Yet, there’s Leo (July 24 - Aug. 23) Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19) something a little off I’ll bet you didn’t call your mother I can’t believe you told a “your about her perform- to tell her you’re alright after “Hurricane mom” joke in front of that girl, man. ance, like she almost Isabel”, did you? When you go home Didn’t you know her mom’s dead? seems to be trying next weekend, your face will be in the You’re a sick, sick kid. Someone should too hard. paper, and everyone will think you’re report you. Allen is consid- dead. Pick up the phone and call her. ered to be one of the greatest and funniest Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sep. 23) Pisces (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20) filmmakers of his Remember that party, last week? Why did you download that movie? generation. He has The one where you got trashed and You know they watch your IP address. been nominated for hooked up with that guy? You’d better You’re gonna get busted. I suggest mov- the Academy Award go to Health Services, hon. He had her- ing to Canada; it’s the only way. eighteen times. pes something FIERCE. However, not all of Courtesy of Dreamworks Pictures his films are funny Acting the Part: Ricci and Biggs amaze in Woody Allen’s and certainly not all latest offering. of them are good. Some of his films Unoriginal Underworld have a habit of beat- Allen character; he’s afraid to be alone, ing their point into the ground. This unsure of life and himself, and doesn’t film, thankfully, doesn’t succumb to that Does Not Excite Audiences seem to be happy unless he is in a rela- trend. from UNDERWORLD, page 17 tionship with an unusual woman. The Annie Hall is arguably Allen’s best also seem to be inspirations, to put it unusual woman is Amanda, played by film, winning the Oscar for Best Actress tion of the character...?), and played by mildly. This mediocrity could only have Chistina Ricci. (Diane Keaton), Best Picture and win- Shane Brolly, I think he is really the been redeemed by an appearance by Falk thinks that he is happy with his ning him two Oscars for Best Original weakest link in this film. His story arc is Johnny Depp, who’s rescued two genre life until he meets David Dobel, played by Screenplay and Best Director. Anything obvious and Brolly’s (over-) acting is films this year already, and could have Woody Allen. Dobel is a New Jersey Else has a similar soul to Annie Hall. It simply abominable. Actually the film seriously livened things up (sample dia- school teacher who had aspirations of has the same aspirations to make people goes downhill from the time we enter logue: “Are you a ‘LyCAN’ or a being a comedy writer, but never had the laugh and think. the elegant but generic vampire man- ‘LyCAN’T’?” But alas, no such luck. nerve to follow through. Dobel starts chal- This is a great movie to see with sion. I guess it’s supposed to fit the aris- The tone of the movie is over- lenging all of Falk’s ideals and soon has friends or on a date. Whether you have tocratic, goth/bohemian stereotype, but whelmingly serious, and the groan-wor- him questioning every aspect of his life. seen every Woody Allen film or none of these snooty, leatherclad neckbiters just thy dialogue just makes for a lot of unin- Dobel is an interesting character for them won’t have any effect on liking bore me to tears. tentional humor. Bill Nighy, who plays Allen to play because he is the mentor. Anything Else. It is a light hearted com- As a side note, I’d love to see an Viktor, a vampire patriarch, is an excep- Biggs plays the normal ‘Allen’ charac- edy with a serious soul. episode of “Cribs” in the vampire mansion... tion to this dead-pan cheesiness, and ter, which has all of the questions about MY BOTTOM LINE: Would I wait “Yeah, we gotta keep the fridge well stocked approaches his role with an over-the-top love, life and death and Allen gets to in line to see this movie? NO. Evening, with the Cristal and the B positive...” manner that earns him some points. It play the man with all the answers, even Matinee, Wait until video or Forget this `The film borrows so much from must have been tough delivering his though they may not be the right movie was produced? EVENING. How past genre movies that I just couldn’t lines in a green and brown splotched answers. The performance between many times did I check my watch? 1. help but feel almost cheated. rubber suit, but he made the most of it, I Allen and Biggs is really entertaining to Rent or Buy? BUY. Hallucination scenes will seem familiar suppose, and two of his scenes near the to most filmgoers; it appears as though end are by far the most satisfying the the director studied the Fellowship of movie has to offer. The very ending of the Ring DVD, copying Frodo’s ring- Underworld, though, is pure sequel bait, write for features...x51260 visions quite faithfully. Blade, The Crow making closure just one more thing this and An American Werewolf in London disappointing film lacks.