Acknowl­edgments

It is impossible to convey my gratitude for all who have helped make this book a real­ity. Kim Hopper believed in my work and gave careful guidance from the earliest days of this proj­ect’s conception. I am deeply influenced by his quest to understand the mind and humbled by his au­then­tic and profound re­spect for ­human beings. To Lesley Sharp: it must have been my good karma to find myself in your writing group.There ­ is an idea in Buddhist culture that the right teacher always appears at the right time; I am exceedingly grate- ful for her ongoing mentorship. I wish to offer deep thanks to Vincanne Adams, who graciously took me on as a student from afar and has contin- ued to offer invaluable mentorship in the early stages of my ­career. I also wish to thank Jack Saul and Ana Abraido-­Lanza, as well as Jennifer Hirsch for her fierce encouragement, mentorship, and friendship. An intensive work- shop with Kim Hopper, Lesley Sharp, and Jennifer Hirsch supported by Wellesley College was instrumental in reworking the manuscript; I am so grateful for this ongoing support. x Acknowl­edgments

The person to whom this book is dedicated, Alice Pomponio (“Dr. P,” as we called her), was my mentor at St. Lawrence University and the person with whom I discovered the field of anthropology. I ­will never forget her. Thank you also to a lifelong friend and teacher, Cathy Shrady. My apprecia- tion goes to Emily Mendenhall for reading early chapter drafts, as well as the members of my beloved writing group at Columbia University: Nancy Worthington, Chris Alley, Kirk Fiereck, and Jen Van Tiem. Thank you to my academic big sister,­ Neely Myers. This research would not have been pos­si­ble without generous support from the Lemelson Society for Psychological Anthropology Fund, Foreign Language Acquisition Scholarship (FLAS), Fulbright IIE, Weatherhead East Asian Institute, Sasakawa Young Leaders Fellowship Fund (SYLFF), and the Mellon Foundation. Thank you as well to Ted Lowe, editor of Ethos and the Condon Prize committee for helpful suggestions in the early development of the proj­ect. Portions of this study’s data have been previously published in “Trauma and the Making of Flexible Minds in the Tibetan Exile Commu- nity,” Ethos 41, no. 3 (2013): 313–36 and “Resilience, Agency, and Everyday Lojong in the Tibetan Diaspora,” Contemporary Buddhism 19, no. 2 (2018): 342–61. Thank you to the Department of Anthropology at the University of Or- egon for time and support for writing, and especially to Daphne Gallagher, Angela Montague, Carol Silverman, and Diane Baxter for their friendship. I am grateful for the support I have received at Wellesley College in the De- partment of Religion, thanks to generous support from the Luce Moore Foundation. In par­tic­u­lar, I wish to thank my supportive friends and col- leagues, with special appreciation for Ed Silver and Susan Ellison. A year’s fellowship at the Wellesley College New­house Center provided an invaluable opportunity to workshop portions of the book and work alongside more se­ nior colleagues who offered friendship and advice. A Wellesley College fac- ulty research award allowed me to hire an undergraduate research assistant, Eva Duckler, to work on editorial tasks. A fiercely creative, rare, old soul—­ she is someone who will­ go on to do something beautiful in this world. To all my students and the ­women of Wellesley College, your refusal to take knowledge at face value before deeply, and sometimes ruthlessly, interrogat- ing it, gives me hope that a lineage of thinkers and seers will­ not be lost. I also wish to acknowledge and thank my colleagues at in the Contemplative Psychotherapy and Buddhist Psy­chol­ogy Program: Acknowl­edgments xi

Janneli Chapin, Karen Kissel Wegela, MacAndrew Jack, Ugur Kocataskin, Caroline Leach, and Lauren Casalino. You appeared at just the right moment and I am grateful and humbled to join this compassionate and spirited com- munity I now call home. My deepest thank you to my friends and neighbors in Dharamsala. Thank you, especially, to all the Tibetan grannies for your endless scoldings on proper Tibetan grammar and the dangers of cold drinks. Thank you for fi­ nally nodding with approval when I wore no less than four sweaters and a large piece of sheep’s wool tied around my waist (to protect my organs from getting cold). And thank you to my young Tibetan friends for falling down with laughter at the sight of my granny apparel. I have im­mense gratitude for my research assistant, Abo Gakyi, who worked tirelessly in assisting me with recruiting interview participants, translation, and Tibetan language transcription. Additional translation assistance (and lovely homemade but- ter lamps) came from Aksel Lyderson. Kesang Chhoden Lama assisted with Tibetan spell-­checking and transliteration. Thank you to Gen Dekyi and my dearest friends, Josh and Nicolette, and to Ruth Sonam and the late Geshe Sonam Rinchen. I have im­mense gratitude for , Sakyong Wangmo, Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche, Rinpoche, and Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. From the moment we began corresponding I felt a special connection to my editor at Cornell University Press, Jim Lance. A critical thinker and deeply kind soul, Jim has encouraged and guided me in seeing this book come to fruition. I am so very grateful for his support. I also wish to thank the scholars who reviewed the manuscript, providing critically impor­tant feedback. In par­tic­u­lar, I appreciate them pushing me to think more deeply about resilience and the moral good in anthropology. I am deeply humbled and appreciative for their close reading of this work. Writing a book has also provided a unique opportunity to count the bless- ings in my life. Thank you to Ericka Phillips, Whitney Joiner, Sarah Kim- ball, Ashley Dinges, Martina Bouey, Shelly Webb, Ella Reznikova, Sarah Lipton, Alison Pepper, Ian Bascetta, Dan Glenn, Kelly Lehmann, Alexis Shotwell, Mitchell Levy, Andrew Sacamano, Toby Sifton, Anna Weinstein, Jesse Grimes, and the entire Trident Core Group. My deepest appreciation for the Shambhala Interim Board who will­ long remain in my heart. Thank you to David Desmond, Ashley Hodson, Jade Kranz, Ian McLaughlin, Jessyca Goldstein, Megan Mack, Jess Wimett, Anita Shepherd, Brendan xii Acknowl­edgments

Shea, Mark Winterer, Anne Montgomery, Brendan Hart, Brooke West, Noga Zerubavel, Hillary Schiff, Erick Howard, Chris Hiebert, and many other friends and colleagues. With all my heart, I thank Brett Knowles for coming into my life. Fi­nally, thank you to my parents, Tom and Sandy, and my ­sister, Emily, whose unwavering support sustains me through it all.