Issue No 797 2 December 1993 iBare ^J^acts University of Surrey Students' Union Newspaper

•••••3SSDDD The Union What? You must be joking!

Campaign against dosing down... The govemment reform legislation - the Big Issue page 2 Locai Tory to back students - page 3 The Union's fìnance policy - page 2

Also in this week The Budget - what it means for you - pages 3 & 4. Mo Khan, Treasurer

Established 1968 Tel: (0483) 509275 Fax: (0483) 34749 The Big Issue "My government will introduce legis- In addition, the legislation takes check ing we're too preoccupied to real- lation...to reform students' unions." on tbe following three items: ise...tough! We caught you! ! ! (Queen's Speech, 18th November 1993). How will this affect the Stu- Financial nght and accountability dents* Union members at large? Democratic procedure The Impact Appeal mechanism The legislation would basically curtail The Legislation The Students' Union agrees with this ele- the Union function to an extreme limit m^t and, in fact, fmds some of it naive The Students' Union would not be able "To remove one of the last bastions of and even retrograde. to affwd any of the following: ccmpulsory union membership" (gov- ernment officiai). The Government be- Entertainment - Free bands, Friday lieves tbe Student Unions force people to Why The Legislation? Night Out, Draw Discos, Charter Ball become members and therefore remove and even The Grad Ball. theirfreedomofchoice. Theybelievethe The Government has given its reason of Societies - Departmental, Overseas, Re- Students Unions are the last closed shop closed-shop and freedom of choice. In ligious or General. and should be "outlawed" (John Patten, the following I suggest a few alternative Non-Competitive Sport - Sub-Aqua, Secretary of State for Education). reasons. Karting, Korfball, Parachuting, Moun- taineering etc. The reforms proposed state that the Stu- The Government has realised that whilst Bare Facts à dents' Union shouid serve four basic it strives to increase the number of stu- RagWeek ^ functìons: dents entering higher education, it also NUS Memberehip increases the potenüal of a vocal voice Stage Crew Internal Representation - (»ily those is- "against" itü! Community Activities sues should be addressed that arìse from The Students' Union as we know it today would coUapse. within the University stnicüire. So, talk- The threat of a large strong-minded body ing to the NatWestbank about their Serv- of pecóle holding campaigns against the ice would be outlawed. Government, like anti-poli tax. The Solution Weifare - the plight of students is con- The threat of such a large body of people There are anumber of ways of addressing stantly deteriorating. The Students' Un- holding tbe balance of power in certain the issue: ion would be able to demonstrate to the constituencies up and down the country. University about this, but not against the Government who are the (»ntral cause of Live with it - but life at University would Is the Government ninning scared? Tbe the plight. never be the same. use of a sledge bammer to crack open a Charge membership - where the Govern- walnut would seemto suggest so. Ileave Catfiring - the University will be able to it for you to conclude. ment is not Willing to pay out of public give money for catering purposes, butas funds, Charge members - CAN YOU ü)is would be direct competìtion against AFFORD IT? STOP PRESS!! Is the Government at- their own outlets, this is unlikely. Campaign against it - please ask a sab- tempting to 'blindfold' us with the cam- batical if you need ideas on what to write paign against this legislation whilst at the abouL ^ Sport - all competitiOTi sport would re- same time they sneak past us in Tues- main, but clubs like Sub-Aqua, Moun- day's Budget cutting Student grants, hop- taineering, Chess, Parachuting, Karting Mo Khan - Union Treasurer and Korft^l would not be funded. Union To FREEZE Funds - NOT!

ollowing the Finance Standing Committee meeting on 3. The policy should provide an educational experience, dem- FThursday 25th November 1993, the following was dis- onstrating to such an extent which preempts actions by stu(fents. cussed. Although, in principle, such a policy is well fcMined and I totally In light of the proposed (jovemment legisbuion to reform the agreewithit, I also do believe Students' Unions: THAT SUCH A POLICY, EVEN OVER A SHORT PE- 1. It is necessary to step up the campaign in order to inform RIOD, WOULD SERIOUSLY HINDER AND DEPRIVE students of the potential damage such reforms would do to the STUDENTS OF EXTRA CURRICULAR ACnVTTIES. essential activities which go towards making up the core fabrìc AS UNION TREASURER I WILL AT ALL TIMES CON- of University life. TINUE TO PROMOTE SUCH ACTIVIIIES AS LONG AS THE GOVERNMENT ALLO WS ME TO. 2. Actions speak louder than words, and a policy should be pursued which will graphically illustrate the Government re- Mo Khan 'Union Treasurer & Chairperson forms in operation. of Financial Standing Committee Local Tory to back Clark wields the axe for Students! students in the budget! '^he Chancellor of the Exchequer's Budget Speech on Tues- X day 30th November was just one more nail in the coffin for students in general. Kenneth Qark has proposed structural changes in funding overall for higher education but these will not directly affect students. A welcome relief for students was that there is to be no overall reduction in funding and that top-up fees are not to be introduced.

However, the body blow came with the announcement that there is to be a 10% reduction in the grant overall and student loans are to be increased to compensate for this. John Patten, Secretary of State for Education has estimated that grants will equal loans in monetary terms by 1997. From the left: Rachel Davison, Comms Officer, David Vin- cent, President, David Howell, MP for Guildford and Tony Knapp, University Finance OfHcer. The actual level of the grant has been frozen since September 1990 and student loans have been increased gradually to ac- t a meeting in the University of Surrey Students' Union, count for the reduction in real terms due to inflation. The ADavid Howell, MP for Guildford expressed encourage- Government has been threatening to reduce the grant but until ment and support for the national campaign against student now has done nothing about it. ' union reforms. The meeting, which took place on Friday 26th November, was Now the Govemment is acting and it will be the death warrant attended by the Students' Union President David Vincent, the for many students: Communications Officer Rachel Davison, the University Fi- grants to be reduced by 10%; nance Officer Anthony Knapp and several students, including an increase in student loans putting students even more in debt; representatives from fC^G, the Christian Union and the Liberal VAT to be introduced on fuel; Democrats Society. the possibility of VAT on books; Student union reforms were announced in the Queen's Speech a probable reduction in student free or cheap services under the on the 18ih November 1993 and the Education Bill was then proposed Education Bill which will reform student unions; published on 25th November 1993. Much has been said by the also bear in mind the fact that students are not entitled to any National Union of Students and by individual student unions benefits, neither unemployment nor housing benefit about the definition of core and non-core areas. There are to be four core areas - sport, catering, welfare and internal repre- It is absolutely disgusting that the Govemment is proi»sing to sentation, with public funds only being available to those areas attack students in such a way, taking away money, putting them defined as core. into increasingly more debt by necessity and making it harder The Education Bill glosses over this, stating in article 20a "that on every front for students merely to survive. financial support provided by them (the governing body of an The Govemment is being hypocritical in that, at the same time establishment) to a students' union out of public money is used as it is beating students into the ground, it is also trying to only for services of such descriptions as may be specified by increase access to higher education. By increasing the prob- regulations made by the Secretai^ of State." ability of large debts for students, the Govemment is defeating TTie regulations have not yet been published, meaning that its own stat^ ^s of trying to encourage greater access to many MPs, including David Howell, are not actually aware of higher education. how these reforms will affect student unions and how they will Universities will once again become a privilege only for the directly hit students. rich and those mad enough to embark on a course of action Mr Howell expressed concern that many student groups such leading to certmn debt as religious societies and goodwill groups such as Community Action and RAG will be hit indiscriminately by the reforms. Rachel Davison Mr Howell said that "it is not an open and shut case by any means" and that he intends to question the Secretary of State further about this. aiiffi Mr Howell also said that there "must be many changes" before this Bill can be- come law. Students' Union President David Vin- cent said that we must be encouraged by Mr Howell's positive reaction to our meeting and that we must keep up the pressure by writing more letters express- ing our concerns to Mr Howell. Ru- mours are rampant that the House of Lords will throw out the Education Bill because of the lack of detail given in the BiU. The second reading of this Bill will take place in the House of Lords on Tuesday 7th December 1993 and the Union Presi- dent and Communications Officer will be attending to hear the debate.

Rachel Davison In this week... The Budget 1993 - Manoj Says Sab bits 5 Letters 6-7 How Are You Bollox to Teseo! Guildford's Christmas 8 Affected? ^acL The students of this University Music Mania 10-11 spend thousands of pounds at Tesco Culture Shock 12-13 F ccording to the Times (1/12/93) every week. Video reviews 14 "Students were the main losers in a Cinema Listings 15 A Fact: Shopping is very heavy. budget settlement that gave the Educa- Jobspot 16 Fact Tesco trolleys are a very convenient tion department the biggest increase in way of bringing the aforementioned Personals 18 Whitei^U." How does that affect you as Shopping back onto campus. AGM*s & Notices 19 the average Student? Facti There are well defmed trolley col- Clubs & Societies 20-22 lection points dotted around campus. SpoH 23-24 Not only are Student grants going to be Facti It would cost Tesco a piddling £80 cut 10% each year for the next three a week to collect the trolleys. From the Editor... years, amounting to £4/week this year. Facti Tesco won't let students take trol- Tbe average Student will have to borrow leys. mene money than present in order just to orry for the mistake I made in last survive. Next year you will be able to Sweek's column -1 said we were ap- borrow another 44% which, in layman's Dear Tesco manager proaching the 700th issue, this should terms, equ^s to an increase from £840 have read 800th. Soiry. to £1210. What a bollox policy. There is a small, insignificant feature of business known ^ Next week's issue will be as normal with How eise will this year*s as customer relations. This University, en | the usual deadline, but week 10's issue budget affect you? masse, must be your largest customer and will be out early and the deadline for this it looks as if you don't give a toss. will be: If you smoke on av^^e 200 cigarettes a week you'U be £1.10 worse off. You have got us by the balls (I wouldn't Monday 13th December at 930am - If you are lucky enough to bave a car (or be surprised if you banked ^ NatWest). no exceptions is that unlucky?) tben you will have the You are by far our nearest supermarket, privilege of giving the Government even you seil everything, prices are reason- and this issue will hopefully be out on the more money. Petrol has incieased by able, Service is reasonably good but why Wednesday evening of week 10. 13.5p per gallón, therefore a student who oh why don't you take the initiative and lives 5 miles from campus will pay an welcome us into your store with open Criticisms have been made about BF re- extra 40p per week for petrol. C^ tax is arms? cently so I intend to do a survey about BF up another £5 to £130 a year. This means - about the things you read or don't read you will now pay £2.50 /week. Car insur- Why do we have to regulariy run the and about what you would maybe like to ance is going to be taxed at 3%. A19 year gauntlet of your security staff each time see more of. This will hopefully be be- old male with 2 years no-claims bonus on we spend a considerable amount of fore the end of term, space permitting. a Vauxhall Astra who pays at present m(Miey at your store? £AOO a year will pay an extra £12 per I have also had questions asked of me - year, and that is before the insurance Is £80 per week that great a sum in light about what exactly my job entails. I companies decide to up the costs even of the amount we spend? don't want to gloss over the details here mwe. If any of you have to drive along motorways to get home during vacaticHis so I wiU be writing a longer article for Here's an ideai What if I wheeied a next week's issue that explains exactly or to woric, the new motorway toUs will hit you again. Sainsbury's trolley into yourcarpark and I what I do. This will hopefully put peo- parked it there while I did my Shopping? ple's minds at rest about what I do and If you drink heavily, you're lucky that the I could then transfer my Shopping once prove that I am earning my wages! only increase due will be 2p on a bottle I'd paid and wheel my Sainsbury's trol- of wine. Beer is NOT affected, due to the ley back onto campus. I'm sure you'd Nothing much else to say except: drinking habits of our CThancellor! Nei- come Up with some poxy safety rule. ther is whisky. Write to your MP and tell him what Foreign students will be subjected to the In my hcune town, both Téseos (the one you think about the Government re- new Hying Tax, which will equate to £5 in town and the one out of town) have forms; to EC countries and £10 to the rest of the those quid deposit trolleys. There are col- Get involved in your Union - take some world. lection points at the bus station/taxi rank responsibility for what we provide. If and at other spots. Why can't we have you are reading this then you are get- Lorna Fitzsimons, the President of the them on campus - if we had to pay a ting a free service from the Union - a National Union of Students, said "Stu- pound tben everybody would put them free service that will disappear next dents could not affOTd to bear mcHe debt back in the right place to get their pound year if tbe Government gets its way. and the cxily effect would be increased back. BF will only be one of many things to hardship. Students are already massively in debt with the Student Loans Company, disappear. But this is your problem, Mr Manager, Come to the GMs on Tuesday with banks and with their parents." The Government has tried to impose not mine. Let's get one thing straight, lunchtimes and vote for what you students only shop at Tesco because they think is right, as you may not have the taxes on tbe British people that are in operation elsewhere in the worid, but have to, that does not mean you are enti- chance to say what you think for much tled to take advantage. longer - the Government intends to why does that mean we have to take on take away GM*s as well. these taxes? How will the (jovemment stitch up the NatWestbank "realised" the error of their ways, perhaps you will too! Take care & keep reading students of this country next?

Chris Pye Manoj Sare's Grovelling BLAST FROM THE PAST Bit '^l^his week is devoted to answering some of the criticisms of two weeks ago X regarding the Club and the way that Union House is run. am sorry again if the mistakes in last Iweek's Sex, Drugs & Rock 'n' Roll Fu^t, a letter from name withheld. Mr (or Miss(or Ms)) had complained that certain pullout misled anyone. They really were areas of the building have been designated as zones where you may only eat food honest mistakes and I shall do my best to bought on the premises. Strange that, considering that they are restaurant areas. I prevent anything like them from happen- don't believe that any student would be allowed to go into the Hall Restaurant and ing in the füture. expect to e^ their own sandwiches. Obviously, because these are restaurants within I hope that you have all enj oyed the week a 'Students' Union', we are free from the financial obligations that other business so far, but don't forget Mr Mike Fab- ventures have to concern themselves with. What are these financial concerns, I hear Gere and The Amazing Permissive Soci- you ay? Making enough money to be financially viable next year perhaps? Making ety are playing Friday Night, and all for enough surplus money so that we can reduce the beer pices? I assure you that this thebargain price of £3, so boogy on down was not a 'rash loony decision' taken by the Club Conunittee (a body which is half to the sounds of the seventies. comfxised of students - your representatives), but one which is intended to be beneficial to the long term future of the Club. Ilien again, if anyone really feels that Kitchen Theft they can give us better commercial advice than a manager with 27 years experience and a financial consultant who is a qualified accountant with a ten year background in financial management in the advertising industry, then I'd love to hear from you. There has been a recent spate of food theft from kitchens. Please try and lock your cupboards, if you can, and try not to The sccond complaint is with regards to one of the market traders which wc have every buy too much food at one time if you Friday. The issue has been raised with the Club management and we are speaking to can't. If you have anything stolen from him. Apparently there is no legal requirement for him to give change! (Yeah, I didn't your kitchen or your room, please report believe it either. It's true, though) It has been pointed out to him that operating in a the theft to Security (Ext. 2002) as soon m(xe moral and equitable fashion would be a very good idea, as we weren't bom as possible. And finaUy - KEEP YOUR yesterday. I hope that helps; if things don't improve, then let us know and we'll take DOORS LOCKED! the matter further.

Gas Safety The last letter of complaint brought up many issues about the way that the building operates in the evening: The Accommodation Office has asked all the owners of their direct lease houses to 1) We are not a nightclub, we don't have the appropriate licence. provide evidence that their gas appli- ances have been serviced or safety 2) We are a private members club. By LAW every member must PROVE THEIR checked recently. All those who do not MEMBERSHIP by production of their club card. A DOSH card, library card or NUS provide evidence will have to pay for the do not prove that you are a member of University of Surrey Students Union Qub. The safety checks which the Accommodation cut-off time for signing in was set to alleviate congestion at the front doors during the Office will I» arranging. I hope that the busiest period of the evening, or do you fancy hanging about in the cold even longer leaflets and info that I put in BP was waiting to get in? useful. 3) The stewards are there to make sure that the majority of people attending an event Corrections have a safe and enjoyable time. There are many legal requirements to be met for us to operate the way we do; checking membership, preventing trouble, evacuating the must apologise for the inaccuracies building in an emergency. If you really don't believe that Security perform a useful Iprinted in last week's Sex, Drugs & function perhiqjs you should seek out the opinion of people they have helped, say the Rock 'n' Roll BF PullouL I am sorry if girl who fell outside the Endsleigh office and had to go to hospital. they have caused any confusion. They are: 4) The prices. I'm doing a fuller article on this issue for next week, but I'll give you LSD: Weights in 'g' should read miao- a quick explanation here. We do get the beer at the same price as other unions because grammes. we're a part of the same buying consortium, NUSSL. However each union mns in a Speed: Half an ounce of speed should different way and has different operating costs. If this Union didn't have any security, read half a gramme of spocá house officer, vending machines, gaming machines, food outlets, minibuses, shop, I am very sorry about misinfonning you, photocopying or printing facilities, the beer would be cheaper due to lower operating there is no excuse and I shall try my costs. However, we aim to provide a diverse range of services which have to be paid hardest not to let it happen in the future. for somehow. I still argue that this Union provides the cheapest pint overall for the Guildford area. I know that every so often, one pub will have one beer cheaper than Sare Parsons - VP us for a period. I'm talking generally.

Don't forget to I'm sure that this will generate mu'e criticism and I welcome that, but I'd rather have the informed constructive type please! RECYCLE As a final point, I appear to have been accused of writing anonymous articles and letters. All I'll say is that I have got the boUox to put my name to whM I write - nuff íBfl/Tg J^acts said. Paper bins in the TTFN, Dave Union and all court receptions. Dear Editor Dear Editor

DON'T FORCE CONDOMS DOWN We would like to point out an unaccept- MY THROAT! Last week saw a con- able action towards a student of our Uni- certed campaign to encourage the use of versity. Recently, this student who is a Condoms for safer sex, and as such it Turkish-Cypriot-originated British citi- could not be faulted. Except on one zen, hasbeenvisitedby twoGreek-Cyp- point. Itincludednoadviceuponwhatto riots and asked to remove the flag of the do with the said contraceptives once the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus funis over. "Flush'em down tbe looîT from the window of bis own room. Al- hear you cry. Not so. Have you ever though the flag had been displayed smce stopped to consider where our little latex the teginning of term, the incident hap- friends go from there? In my mouth, pened on the AGM day of the Cyprus that's where! Society. The views expressed »n this pajje ai e personal views and do not necessaríly No. l'm not some kind of pervert l'ma We find this incident extremely disturb- represen! those of the editorial board windsurfer, and, like thousands of other ing and provocative. Being students at or the Students' Union. people who enjoy Britain's coastal wa- the University of Surrey, we believe that ters ail the year round, I am more than ali students have equal rights in this Uni- The ICdìtcu' reserves the r¡|¿ht to edit familiar with tbe problem of discarded versity regardless of their race, religion ali letters. Condoms which m many cases are dis- and ethnic background and none of us has charged directly into our seas. This is a the right to mie out the personal freedom genuine environmental issue which is of others. This is also a necessity to Dear Editor just one of the many unpleasant results of reinforce friendship among the studentsi our country's appallingly inadequate of the University. sewage treatment facilities, and it bas l'd just like to express my gratitude to the been made still more pertinent with the Accommodation Office for informing us We would like to believe that this action recent discovery that the AIDS virus can is not a policy of the Cyprus Society and so recently that the wonderftil touch-tone survive for up to 48 hours in sait water! téléphoné number will change from request that shnilar incidents must notbe Many organisations, not least Surfers repeated. January, after many final years have Against Sewage (ring 0872 553001 for filled in and sent off job application détails) are actively campaigning to ad- forms giving the old number. You may dress the issue. Turkish Society be fortunate enough to live in one of the campus residences with an internai phone where you cannot phone out (off Until it is resolved, however, please do Dear Editor campus) nor phone in (from off campus us ail a favour. Place the used condom in unless you're very lucky) without wast- a plastic bag and bin it carefìilly, and ing lots of money on the 509393 number help to keep the seas and my throat clear. I do beüeve a sabbatical member of the while "trying to be put through" which U) Union was a bit upset and emotional the experience of firiends and relatives William Steele aboutmy critícal Union letterprinted two who don* t live locally is quite useless and weeks ago and that he said bollox to it as very costly. weU, and I do believe they didn't want to do that. Could the switchboard office do us ali a Dear Editor great favour and perhaps employ some- Observation 1: I tried to make my letter one part time m the evenings to work the I am writing to express my thanks for the informal, stimulating and humorous. I. extension system manually, at least until help received by generous friends and obviously failed on all grounds, and so, \ 10 or llpm wben most sociable people organisations at the Charm evenL The as I am always prepared to leam, I avidly tend to get phone calis (it's cheaper after greatest thanks of all goes to Steve Ward, expected to discover why I wrote "abso- 6pm) and possibly at the weekends. This the brains behind the event, he came up lute tosh". Imagine my disappointment would stop the unnecessary hassle with the idea and had the contacts, when no rational dismissal of a)mplaints caused by people having to ring the Imowledge and most of all, enthusiasm was forthcoming, ie. (1) Union = night- Emergency Security number in despera- to implement all bis ideas mto reality. club, (2) Beer = tad pricey, (3) 8pm tionjusttogetputthrough, which isnot Tlie posters were special, I have worked signing in rule = stupid, (4) ÑUS card = their job. and played here for three and a half years de-recognised. If my facts were wrong, at Surrey and never befCM« bave I seen then explain what was wrong, and then such a great design, thaidcs James Tyrell. carefully smother it in a layer of wafer I understand that this is the second year Bamey Wragg and bis friend Judge Jules, thin invective afterwards. that such a problem has existed: hasn't thanks for the music and the interview. anyone thought of a logicai solution yet? Stage Crew for bemg game to do the gig And will the new Mercury line make any Observation 2: Criticisms aboutmy lack and putting up witb all the problems, a of attendance to GMs, club meetings etc. différence? I and many other final years, special mention to Amanda Garrett for l'm sure, don't want to lose out on any A thousand ^x)logies; I was unaware that the risers and Ady Harris for the ligbts. only activists were qi^fied to comment job offers/mterviews just because a pro- Security for being friendly, good na- spective employer can't get through. on how the Union Club was nm. Mere tured, andaboveall, smiUngon a Friday ordinary lazy members of the Union, like night My last thanks go to all the people me, should have been informed earlier of Pissed off final year who doesn 't get who attended the event, for you made a tbis litüe known regulation. Thanks for many phone calis. Ñame wiíhheld on very special event for me and everyone clearing that one up. request as part of the increasing trend whowoikedit All I can say is, seeyou of phobie writers. (I don 't really want at the next one! to get turf ed off campus!) Observation 3: Tbe reason for the hyster- ics may have been caused by the libellous Cheers, Steve Herman and inaccurate paragraph tíiat was duti- fully removed by our ever vigilant and over-worked editor, so there is no point with HIV7AIDS feel discriminated getting worked up about something that against because of the material published The Word From nobody else knows about. in Beer Facts offensive does not nullify The Asylum the opinions of others. Nor are you a Observation 4: The reason for initially représentative sample of the population aybe I'm just being a pedant but I remaining anonymous was to avoid be- in général. Malways think that if you are going ing personally labelled as "lacking cour- to give information then you should see age" and "whingeing". In this country, 5. How is the issue of AIDS connected that it's accurate, especially when the we have a long-standing tradition of cow- with maturity? As a 25 year old woman, topic is as hairy as drug-taking. I refer of ardly whingeing and long may it remain. I consider myself to be a mature individ- course to last week's article by our V.P. I also find it a bit rich to be lambasted for ual, yet I fail to see the humorous side to about sex, dmgs and rock and roll. Hey, being anonymous by someone who the HTV/AIDS issue. Perhaps l've seen I don't know a great deal about drugs wishes to remain anonymous. Definitely too many people dying from AIDS to (honest), but I do know that dropping 25g a pot-calling-kettle-black situation. laugh about it. of acid would be much like filling your head with dynamite and lighting the blue touchpaper (25ug (microgrammes) Observation 5: Our beloved President In reply to Andrew Merely's commenLs: surely?). Even dear old Jim Morrison urges us all to write futile and disparag- only managed a couple of hundred ug and ing letters to our MPs to save the Union, 1. How does "saying the use of Shames he was an expert. Also, half an ounce of and then when I try and get a bit of O'Toole's name for the AIDS letter" re- Billy is more likely to put you in cardiol- practice using my own organ all 1 get is fiect the reader's own racism? Please ogy than party mode! It'd probably set froth and bubble, as well as .some bollox. explain. you back a fair whack at dealer's rates as If the Union can lecture the Govemment well. (loo right an' all), then the Union should I be tough enough to attend some lectures 2. The poem which you define as one One of the major problems with drugs, of its own. about a "gang bang" and which 1 define aside from the unnecessary and damag- as one about râpe, gives no indication ing criminalization of users, is the whatsoever that the woman involved was amount of misinformation about them. Recommendation: whoever wrote the going to be asked for her consent The You only have to look out from under reply should calm down, have abeer, and poem describcd what two men were "go- your bedclothes to see the huge effects in a cogent and rational way, have an- ing to do to her". that propaganda and distortion can have, other go, whilst, of course, not forgetting and there's enough of that coming from to include his (or her) name. I have no intentions of trying to ban RAG the ignorance of the establishment. Of from future éditions ofBare Facts, orto course, I'm not suggesting any intent or Yours faithfully, Philip Smith stop themraisingmoney for charity, un- malice on Ms Parson's part, but the po- less they continue to do it in the manner tential consequences of this kind of error that they have this year. Also, I am not on a first time user are, 1 think, fairly Dear Editor attacking individuals, but rather the obvious - and that's more ammo for the conmients they have made and the mate- anti-drugs lobby. In reply to Dickon Holt's comments in rial they have published. This is aimed The hysteria which sometimes surrounds last weeks edition: at ignorance. There is a différence. hash never ccases to amaze me. It's his- torical roots spring from Victorian mo- 1. It is a choice whether or not people Debhie ¡Mmpon rality (no pleasure - high - without pain - submit material for Rag, and if they hangover) and from comments made by choose no to, that does not in any way the Egyptian delegate to some interna- alter their right to complain about mate- Dear Editor tional drugs conference early this century rial that is submitted by others if they find (about cannabis being responsible for the it offensive. lion's share of his country's madness). Concerning the recent letters about Incidentally, he was backed by the alco- "Andy's" Union stall, it is amusing to hol and tobacco lobbies so maybe there's 2. The worthy efforts to p-omote the date see a new advert in BF advertising a vested interest there. rape advertisement are greatly overshad- "Andy's Crazy Christmas Sale". The There are a fair few people in mental owed by the fact that you also chose to "crazy" part of this sale is that we put up institutions arguably as a result of too print the poem which promotes rape. with being continually and deliberately much acid and E; and drug use - even overcharged. He advertises "All at huge humble cannabis use - does correlate 3. The sex of the members of the Rag discounts" - but doesn't say what his quite highly with breakdowns and mental editorial board has little to do willi my discounts are in relation to. As high- illness (though whether it causes them or criticisms of sexist material. I am not lighted previously, the discounts are not attracts potential schizophrenics is an- ignorant towards the fact that women are so huge considering you receive zero other matter). As for deaths, direct equally capable of sexism (towards both consumer protection. This Crazy Xmas deaths from acid and caiuiabis are almost men and women) as men, and I did not Sale won't result in his prices being any unheard of (though I did hear a story of imply otherwise in my original letter. cheaper than normal anyway. I suppose some guy just eating until his stomach we should count our blessings and the exploded after an attack of the .season of goodwill if we are so lucky as munchies). 4. Equal opportunities in not simply a to receive our rightful change! definition in the dictionary. It is a con- Look, do drugs if that's your bag, but cept which was developed and imple- If you don't get your change because the remember that they're all false kicks ^d mented in order to ensure that every false comfort. The only thing to get re- member of society is treated with the stall holders claim not to have the correct ally high on is atmosphere (designer drug same respect and dignity, and that every money - point them in the direction of the of the century). It's free (so far), healthy member of society is given the same op- change machine! (dependant on tobacco content) and portunities of employment, education doesn't fill lazy shitbags' pockets with etc. regardless of sex, age, race, relig- Yours sincerely, Robert Mandara cash and coppers' bodies with bullets. ion, physical or mental disability, sex- ual preference, HIV status and so on. If women, ethnic minorities and people Mike Read 8 » Guildford's Victorian Christmas Celebrations

Thursday 9th - Friday 11th December

''•"»ake one picturesque historic town centre, with cobbled High Street and a wealth of shops offering a treasure trove of high X quality goods for that special gift.

Mix well with a slice of Christinas nostalgia, a generous sprinkling of jugglers, fire-eaters and clowns, flavour with the aroma of hot chestnuts, mince pies, mulled wines and other Christmas goodies. Add lots of music, Christmas carols, and last but not least decorate with royal icing, h(M^ drawn-carriage and a royal procession. For jollity, laughter, fun and Christmas shopping with a difference, serve on 9th, 10th and 11th December.

Thursday 9th December

festivities commence with a Victorian royal procession, F with horse-drawn carriage. Her Majesty Queen Victoria and her entourage meet the Mayor of Guildford before going Christmas shopping. Music by the GSA Singers, and Guild- ford Philharmonic Choir.

Friday 10th December Victorian Christmas - ''•''he festivities continue throughout the town with entertain- X ments, music and much more. Occam singers hold a shops take part charity concert at Holy Trinity Church whilst Guildford Mu- seum hosts a Victorian Christmas Party, with a magic lantern uildford shops are joining in the Victorian fun over the show, mince pies and more. For party tickets phone 444750. Gthree days of the festivities. Marks & Spencer have a Victorian street barrow and some of the staff will be in Victo- rian dress. Tbere will be tastings of mulled wine and mince Saturday 11th December pies and appropriate live music.

hristmas Carols on the River Wey (by Debenhams). Meet 'ITiere will be more music at Heals, when two flautists will be Cthe panto stars. Drop into the Guildhall between 9.30am playing away on Saturday afternoon. More mulled wine there and 4pm for informal tours. Morris Dancing, the GSA Singers, and again staff will be in Victorian dress. jugglers, festive food, guided walks and plenty more. Boots the Chemist are staying modem but you can taste yet more seasonal food. Also for ladies (perhaps for gentlemen too) there are free make-overs - make-up sessions by experts at Victorian Walk the counter. If you prefer putting on your face in private, there will be limited free samples of toiletries. n Saturday 11 th December two guides sporting Victorian Odress will take you past some of die buildings considered among the best examples of Guildford's Victorian heritage.

The meeting place is under the Tunsgate Arch, opposite the Guildhall. The walk starts at 2pm and lasts about an hour. It ends at die Museum where there is an exhibition of drawings of Guildford in the 1830s, the beginning of the Victorian era, by the artist Alexander Monro.

For further details about anything men- tioned on this page please contact the Christmas Late Shopping Tourist Information Centre, the Undercroft, Guildford*» shops are to stay open lon}*er m the run-up to 72 High Street, Guild- Christmas. From now until Christmas xhops will be stay- ing open until 9pni on Thursday (2nd, 9th, I6th and 23rd ford, or telephone 0483 December). Most car parks in town have free parking 444007 after 6pm. Anger At VC As Lord Chief Justice Hits Town Chrisimas

^•"'he Vice-Chancellor again proved himself to be more out of X touch than the judiciary last week, catalysing seething Cochtails anger amongst students and staff alike. On the auspicious occasic»i of the 17th Leggett lecture, mem- in the Lower Bar bers of the University might have wished fw the VC to have shown the same nous as bis eponymous (»^ecessor. The intellect on show, though, belonged to no less a personage than the Lord Chief Justice, Lord Taylor of G

Lord Taylor has spoken out before on the need for an open legal system to prevent miscarriages of justice, such as the Guildford Four case. In a week which saw public outcry ovct the acquittal of George Heron, who confessed to murdering schoolgirl Bar 8-llpm Nikki AJlen, he pointed out to the audience gathered in Lecture Theatre D, that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984 had laid down stringent rules for the interrogation of suspects, and rendered inadmissible ccHifessions, like that of Heron, ob- Tickets £2 from tained by oppressive interviewing techniques. the trading desk His Lordship found it difficult to comprehend the contradictory nature of public opinion. "Despite die consternation and the public's sense of outrage that those miscarriages of justice should have occurred and the determination that there should be no repetition," he said "what do we find? "That when judges exclude confessions obtained in Ircach of the 1984 Act, attempts are made in some quarters, not in all, Smart Dress Only to justify the conduct of the interviews and to criticise the judges."

The lecture was so popular that those who failed to book early had to make do with a video link in Lecture Theatre L. YouVe had die Biggest Ever Pub Quiz Amongst the audience were several Law students. They found Lord Taylor an affable and entertaining speaker, and approved of his concern over wrongful convictions. On the whole, though, they were unimiH^sed by his conservatism. As one Now we present: student put it, "He goes on about miscarriages of justice, then says the system isn't too bad really. Where is that going to get us?" Several students had attended the rally organised by the H QUIZ NITE Haldene Group of Socialist Lawyers last Wednesday. They lobbied Parliament, demanding better funding for professional ^Itfisttnas Spe^ courses so that the legal professi(xi does not remain the exclu- sive reserve of the rich. Asked for a comment on this after his lecture. Lord Taylor said that sheer determination had got him through his unpaid bar pupillage. This does not really address the question, and a cynic was heard to remark, "Man does not live on sheer determination alone. Lord Taylor!"

Join us for our regular free-to-enter evening At the end of the lecture, Mr Andrew Parr QC gave a vote of of fun in the Lower Bar, Monday of week 10. thanks in which he managed to offend Law students and staff Bar open 7pm. (^iz start time 8pm. by belittling the status of Law at Surrey. Mr Parr apologised afterwards; he had been badly briefed by the Vice-Chancellor PRIZES GALORE! in a display of the "Who cares about Humanities" attitude so typical of this University. A member of the teaching staff was Apart fr-om the usual winners' prize, we are seen to tear a strip off the VC, to the obvious delight of furious offering you a fi"ee-to-enter prize draw which members of the student law society. A spokesperson for the will take place throughout the evening. society expressed disgust at the damage caused to Surrey law students' career prospects by the crass and misleading blunder Plus prizes for: "How many students can boast on their application forms that a) Vic's random spot prizes they have studied the Law of England, the EC and a foreign b) most impressive team name jurisdiction together with two languages? Yet this is going to c) the team name of the lowest possible taste hold no sway with potential employers when the Vice-Chan- d) worst Joker round score cellor allows the course to be slagged off in front of both the e) best Joker round score national press and the Lord Chief Justice." and the star prize of the evening: "Who tan heckle Vic the most award" Andrew Wilcock, Legal Correspondent So come along & join us. Remember its firee entry 10

et your body flow to the music! Hello and wdcome to yet another mind blowii^ week of musicbiz détails, including a ^revlew of one of the up and comlng sensations to hit the U.K. - A.D. There is also a slightly outdated revIew and more photos from All Day Blues. So without further ado

A.D. - A,D. This album takes some listenmg to the untrained ear, but gets better the mcH-e TDK's Record ofthe Week times you listen to it. It is full of a blend of spiritual and tribal hard hitting Campus Chart rhythms that wiU add flavour to your ^ I "'bis band are creating a stir at the mHad and leave you shell-shocked and ^ I ^his is a monthly chart that is com- JL moment with the muscs nisbing to craving for more. cover üiis American wonder. In tbe days X piled by Music Mania's friends before Indie, kids discovered Üiat Ker> Streets Ahead. The chart is made up by a rang got you a lay more easily than jan- 7/10 selection of students, student musos and gle, and when 'Techno* was called 'Acid student DJs. This should, therefore, be a House* and *altemative* meant having to reflection of what exactiy students are decide which Smiths album to put on, Quicksand - Slip listening to each and eveiy month. I am there was something called tbe Black debating wbetho- or not to print the chart Rock Coalition, and for a while it ^his is Quicksand's debut album. each month. At present I place large col- seemed th^ Hard Rock would never be JL They emerged from the New York ourfiil posters around die Union with the the same. Hardcore scene in the mid-SOs and are chart cm. Do you want to see it in Music often compared to bands like Helmet and Mania? For tbose who know ail about it, do you bave any comments on the chart This is when bands such as Living Col- Fugazi. The band have just completed Ammcan tours with Anthrax and Rage itself? If you have then l'd like to know, our, Fishbone and Roachford were put- so that I can inform Streets Ahead. Please ting the R & B fiink back in to the crunch Agamst The Machine. They've fwged a sound that's melodie and cathartic ... a drop me a note in the BF box in the Union of loud guitars and it sounded fabulous. Foyer. "A.D. and their self tiüed album are about difficult task; but, what would you expect to bring the whole nation of Black Rock when Quicksand cites Abba, Joy Divi- kicking and screaming into the nineties sion, Fugazi and the Smiths as influ- where the poliücal mtensity of Bronx ences. rapper Anthony Demore meets guitars ©TDK and beats, bip hop and blues in a tecbni- That's tbe background to Quicksand and colour nightmare of Urban paranoïa, their music. Now for the test the debut global decay and inner conflicts." album. I personally don't like the major- ON CAMPUS ity of this album - there are simply too many guitars. This is destined to repeat the achieve- ment of Ice-T and Rage Against The Machine and become a {n^sed record in 4/10 Cypress Hill the light of the success of the rap-rock crossover this year. Competition: Engine Alley - Switch olumbia Records offers you the op- 9/10 Cportunity to win Cypress Hill good- ^ I ""his band were the free band last ies to celebrate the phenomenal success X Wednesday in the Union. This single of üieir second album, "Black Sunday". African Head Charge - was released last week, half way through We have two LPs or CDs of the new In Pursuit Of their U.K. tour. For those few people who album and a v^ fashionable Cypress w^ at tbe gig, this was one of the better Hill T-shirt (with a very peculiar leaf Shashamane Land songs they performed, although their design). Be the envy of all of your fiiends sound guy kept on making die gig sound by applying to: Streets Ahead, 8 Gran- ' I "'his band emerged from 'A Hole In terrible. This band have performed with ville Park, London SE13 7EA. All you X The Ground' in the glorious days of the likes of U2 and Dodgy. This single is have to do is send us a postcard wiüi your 1981 'when I were alad*. They recorded about turning on the r^io to hear they name, address, name of college and tele- their debut album to Adrian Sherwood's same songs over and over again, very phone number to win, win, win. blossoming On-U Sound label. They simple! Not a bad single and defmitely didn' t, however, crawl back into that hole beoer than die live performance. like so many bands do and are stili re- Closing date is Thursday 16th December 1993 so get your entries in to Streets cording the serious, provocative 7/10 head/body music. Ahead as soon as possible. 11

P^K^J"''jA "Revie w'93

Clockwisc from Buttom: 'Fn^i- dic* Ck^^c! Queen; Les Hommes D'acier; Keiih 'Speaker leatl.N' Don- ncily; Snakc Davi«;; Outeasl Hand's fkldìcr; anU last but iiot Icust Su.-\e from Stage Cicw wcaring an Ail Day ßlueA T-shiii' hat a day that was! l've wily just showing exactly why he played the sax Wrecovered from the booze and lack for Lisa Stansfield. The Outcast Band of sleep before iL For those who have a didn't play their best gig here, but this small memcHy, AH Day Blues was the was due to sound technical problems. last event of.... (can I print this?) The first Redwood and Dr.Bob (our own bands letter is R; the last letter is G; and in the from the University) were brilliant. middle there is an A. O.K. So it wa.s RAG That's why they play here every year, or week. is that week?

Traditionally AU Day Blues is a day full People have told me that the bands during of bands playing one after the other for a the aftemoon were also very good. How- measly amount of cash. This year it was ever, I was working so couidn't pay that £5 (held at the same price as last year). much attention to them. For that fiver you got eight good bands and an excellent comedian whose name The star of the day had to be Keith Don- was left off the T-shirt and made a song neley, our star compere who has connec- and dance about it. tions with Michele Pfeiffer's mouth and speaker-leads! Well done, Keith, and see The headliners were Closet Queen; a you next time. To all ihose who weren't 'band' (group of drama people) who saw there, you missed an excellent day! Make Bjom Again and thought we can do that sure you're there next year! So they have! They were excellent, al- though they need some work. They will Chris Pye soon be at the same level as Bjom Again. Music Mania Editor Snake Davis was, as always, fabulous. 12

is^

Sailor Arts Listings Beware! The Yvonne Arnaud Tickets are available on 444555. Theatre The New Victoria New Victoria Theatre Theatre, Woking Untiî Saturday lllh December, Frank Fmlay stars in "The Woman in Black". On Tuesday 7th December The Comedy magine a night in front of the televi- This Gothic tale has Frank Fmlay as the Store Players return to Woking with tiieir Ision with your parents watching "Last lawyer Arthur Kipps, who is obsessed own brand of improv CMnedy. So if you of the Summer Wine". There they are in with a curse he believes has been cast want to go and see Josie Lawrence, Paul fits of laughter and there you are accom- over him by the "Woman in Black". As Merton, Neil MuUarkey, Lee Simpson, modating the occasional smile but gener- he and a sceptical young actor try to Jim Sweeney, and, of course, the indis- ally not impressed. Have you been there? exorcise this fear, strange things begin to pensable Richard Vranch. Booknow. I have and I g(H a serious feeling of deja h^pen. vu watching "Sailor Beware!".The ma- The 'Man with the Widget' retums to jority of the audience laughed for the Coming up for the Christmas Season, the Woking on 9th December, Jack Dee's whole two and a half hours but, I've got Amaud's E^to this year is Peter Pan, own material will feature prcnninently. to say it, the majority of Üie audience starring Toyah Willcox and Brian were over 50 and the two majorities were Blessed. The show runs from 17th De- The Christmas Panto here will be ' Alad- one and the same. Maybe that isn't en- cember to 15lh January. Tickets are din', starring DannyLaRue, BrittEkland tirely fair; I did laugh and I couldn't say avallale on 60191. and Ray Meagher. I didn't enjoy it, tut I'm afraid that I wouldn't say I was too impressed either. Tickets for ail of the above on 761144. The Rhoda McGaw "Sailor Beware!" had its first West End Theatre production at the Strand Theatre where it The Thomdike Theatre opened on the 16tb February 1955 and Theatre Proteus present "Into The ran for three years. Set in the early fifties, the voice of She Who Must Be Obeyed Woods", the Steven Sondheim musical, From the 6th to the llth December, the echoes throughout the theatre for the en- on December 9th/llth and 14th/18th. Thomdike is playing host to the company tirety of the play. The domineering The performance is directed by Maggie of the Players Theatre, London, in an motheronlyhasone daughter and we join Lilley, and comprises fairytale characters "Evening of Victorian Music Hall". and a witty, refreshing score. Tickets ^ her on the eve of her wedding day. The available on 761144/502054. big problem is that the groom is a sailor This year, as a break from tradition, the and "We all know what sailors are like". Thomdike are staging a version of The stCMy sees the sailor return from sea "Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour and follows the events of the 24 houre Civic Hall Guildford Dreamcoat". With lyrics by Tim Rice and leading up to his marriage, although in music by Andrew Lloyd Webber.The the true fashion of theatre , this isn't Friday 3rd December ^ 8pm Selecter and show runs from 15th December to 30th really plain sailing. International Beat, British 'Ska' musi- January. cians perform. The cast of nine including Jane Freeman and Kathy Staff ( from "Last of the Sum- Sunday 5th December at 3pm, "Carols The Redgrave Theatre mer Wine"), Brian Cant (well known for for Christmas Time" featuring the Phil- his "Playaway" days) and Hugh Lloyd harmonic Choir in association with the As is usual for the Redgrave at Christ- proved to be most believable and gave Rotary Club of GuUdford. mas, instead of the usual panto, they are enjoyable perfomiances all round. Ihis sti^ing 'Watership Down . In an adapta- for me was the main strength of the play, Tuesday 7th December at 7.30pm Val tion by Paul Todd, Katherine Whittard, I have to say. Doonican, need I say more? Marvin Giles and John Williams star with twenty youngsters, chosen from over 100 who auditioned. I'm not saying don't go and see for your- Wednesday 8th and Thursday 9th De- self and I'm not saying that if you do go, cember Paul McKenna again. you won't enjoy it, but I have to say that The show runs frcan 9th December to "Sailor Beware!", whilst a good play in 15th January and tickets are available on The Civic Hall's Panto this Christmas is its own right, really isn't the average 0252715301. Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs star- student's cup of tea. ring Maureen Nolan and Bobby Crush which runs from 15th December to 5lh Saloni Radia Sarah Beardon. January. Chiistmas Draw Disco Friday 17th December 1993 ^(f 8pm till late

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Free Drink, Mince Pie and MISTLETOE 0 to the first 100 people in 5 Prizes of £100 CASH Cost: £4.50

'ed. Tliiirs. Qtli I| Oli tlie XJnld MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY Jazz & B ues German Society Xmas Draw Disco in the Lower Bar in the Lower Bar Ticket Sales m From Stage 6pm Doors? Priœ? WEEK 9 Price ? Doors? Sri Lankan Society ENTSPIANNER in tlie Lower Bar Doors? Price? THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY Xmas Draw Disco Cocktails in Saturday Sunday Night Band Ticket Sa es Lower Bar Night 6pm from Urìion Stage 8pm with^ Out Reggae Night FREERLM Redwood 8pmti 2am with Ange Heart £1 on the door Upper Bar 9pm FRANTASISE THE EVENT s OFTHEYEAR %Q2% M H

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The Woman in Black host stories in play form are not all sense when you see it - hcMiest!). TTie play seat, you stay there for fear of something Gthat common, presumably not least commences with Kipps beginning to read equally terrible happening again which, because it is very hard in live theatre to his sU)ry as boringly as a retired solicitor of course, it does with ever increasing produce a spook which is sufficiently would read anything and the actor gently regularity. convincing. TTie woman in black was trying to persuade him that if be re^ds in definitely the least convincing 'charac- this manner his audience will either fall This is an incredibly good production of ter' but, like many things in the opening asleep or throttle him. The first lines of a very illustriously acted and ingeniously scenes, this lulled tbe audience in to a the play are repeated about five or six written play. The casting is faultless; false sense of security, I think towa^ds the times as Kipps tries to get it right and it Kipps is portrayed by Frank Finlay, a end of the play, had she been any mwe is actually quite funny. This and the man, who has several times played oppo- convincing, the audience may have fled seemingly basic set lulls the audience site Olivier, with two BAFTA awards in terror! into a false sense of security: How can and a CBE given in recognition of his acting achievements which he clearly de- The play keeps faithfully to the book serves. Michael Hadley also gave a very other than the ingenious device the adap- ccHivincing and at times gripping per- tor uses to transfer the story to the stage. formance as the actor. The set was won- The play has just two characters. Arthur derful for its apparent simplicity masking Kipps, Üie hero of the piece, has written its evocative, startlingly realistic true na- an account of the gniesome events which ture. The Stage Crew must have been befell him in his younger years in an very good to have perfonned so silently attempt to once aiid for ^ rid himself of with just a thin gauze between them and the terrible nightmares he has had ever the audience and the excellent lighting since. He wants to recount the tale just and sound completed this prestigious once to his close family and friends and package. so employs an actor to teach him the finer points of public speaking so he may con- I really cannot fault this pwoduction and vey his message as vividly as possible strongly recommend that anyone who without causing himself to break down. can goes and sees it It is playing at the The second character is the actor who Yvonne Amaud Theatre, Guildford from ends up portraying Kipps whilst Kipps this be frightening ? There are only two Monday 29 November to Saturday 11 himself portrays aJl the people he en- actors who are on stage all the time and December. Student Standby Tickets are countered as the events took place. anyway, the scenery is so basic there is only £3 (available half an hour before the nowhere a ghost can hide. performance ie frwn 7.15 pm onwards) The action he Stakes progresses as if the AAAAAAAAAAGGHHH!!! What you so go and treat yourself before you com- characters were rehearsing on stage with- cannot possibly realise until it happens is pletely run out of this terai's money! out the presence of an audience and the the power of sound effects; and, once set is a stage with no set on it (makes they have put you on the edge of your Kate Ormerod

The Guilty Man by Richard Prosser. y day my watcher is The Sun. Like eyes of (Sod, they're everywhere, BHe studies me and knows my guilt They see my sins but not my reason. Upon the sinner I've become. For motivation they don't care. The lies from which my life is built. They only wish to cry my treason He smells them, eveiy one. And stare, and stare, and stare.

The Dark Hours' master is The Moon. I wish, I wish I understood, She's seen them all, from first to last, my crimes. I'm sure I sinned without intent Those which bum me, or consume. My actions then moved as a flood, Those vast, those cruel, those dread sublime. The pictures now are blurred events: And feels my time is soon. Djuk rage, cool steel, warm blood.

Inside my home I long to crawl They're coming soon, TTiey know I lied. But no; my crimes are felt here too. They'll come to drag me far away. Bed and mirror, ceiling, wall: Oh God! Forgive me? Be my guide? They watch and judge and indict "You!"- Too late; I hear them on their way. I'm guilty to them all. I hear them just outside.

And there's nowhere left to hide. Compton Little Theatre presents - B.F. Deadline: The Owl & The Pussycat went to see... 9.30am Tuesday

In Compton Village Hall - Thusday 13th Jan atSpm, Friday 14th JanatSpm Subinissitms in B.F. Box in Satuday 15tfi Jan at llam, 3pm, 8pm Union Entrance or Tickets: evens.£5 Satmom+aftemoon £8. Phone 811030(2-3pm) 810682(7-10pm) email -siiolbf. 14

***** L(iads of stars. **** Quite a few stars *** Sort »f a middling N«. stars. The Video Box ** Niit many stars. * Hugger all stars. The Waterdance (15) ***** Bram Stoker's Dracula(18) ** 106 mins, Starring Eric Stolz, Wesley 128 mins, Starring Gary Oldman, Wl- The Muppet Christmas Carol (U) *** Snipes, WiUiam Forsythe, Helen Hunt nona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Keanu 90 mins, Starring Michael Calne, Ker- Directed & Written by Neal Jimenez, Reeves. Dir. Francis F(H*d Coppola. mlt the Frog, The Great Gonzo. Dir. Michael Steinberg. Brian Henson. ot to be confused with the Muppet n a slightly lighter note. The Water- NCount from Sesame Street (one ha ' I 'his searing study of poverty in Vic- Odance is about a group of three para- ha ha, two ha ha ha, three, three silly X torian London slices right to the plegics; Joel Garcia (Stolz) who is having accents ha ha ha), this is Coppola's stab heart of one of Dickens' best known trouble coming to terms with the frustra- at the Dracula story. For anyone who opuses. As lovers of period liter^ure tion (mental, sexual, physical, you name doesn't know, Dracula is a Transyl- know, the story is based around Ebenezer it, basically) caused by his condition, vanian undead bloodivore who drives a Scrooge, an aging miser who hasn't dCHie Raymond Hill (Snipes) who is desper- guy called Renfield crazy and then tries a good film in years. SCTOOge employs an ately trying to keep his marriage from to do the same with Jonathan Harker assortment of squeeky voiced rats im- flying ^art, and Bloss, a redneck biker (Reeves). He then travels to England to ported from the New World, and Bob pursuing a legal vendetta against the man feed on Harker's fìance (Ryder), while Cratchit who is a large green frog with he blames for his loss of mobility. Cen- avoiding Doctor Van Lecter. Barely sticks attached to his arms. The n^ator, tering largely on Stolz (although the title puncturing the skin of Üie novel, Dracula Charles Dickens, is sensitively portrayed comes from Snipes' dream about dancing is played as a kind of sexy Edwardian fop by the chicken loving, blue furred, hook on w^er), this is a powerfully emotive with glowing eyes and the libido of a nosed Great Gonzo, and he takes us subject, dealt with admirably by the writ- sex-starved oyster-fed rabbit. Unfortu- through the ghostly visitations Scrooge ers (one of whom is confined to a wheel- nately Drac (even in his initial bum-faead encounters on snowy Christmas Eve. chair himself) and pushed along by the form) and the rest of the cast (or miscast) Particularly powerfully portrayed are three marvelous lead players. There's are overshadowed by the strong visuals, Scrooges ex-partners, now the ghosts of also some embarrasingly funny black hu- special effects, and Reeves' accent. Christmas past, who are played as the mour to relieve some of the tension. IVetty pictures do not a movie make, you kind of old curmudgeons who would also need a script, characters, Üirills, and heckle from balconies. Cratchitt's love actors. interest, the demure Miss Piggy adds s(Hne grace, youth and charm to the pro- ceedings, in the way only a lady of her deportment can. A deeply rewarding OFU's Sonic Oscillator slice of 19th cenmry London life, suitable for the mOTe literary student WARN- "..and step up the reactor power THREE If you have nothing better to do this ING: some scenes may be disbirbing to MORE POINTS!!!!" Coming at you Saturday n^ht (ie. 4th December for young and impressionable rats. once more from an OFU safe-house [nut- those of you who are not quite with it) house m(xe like] on the planet Transsex- than stand in a queue of legal repre- ual in the galaxy of Transylvaaaaania sentatives to meet the Rag committee Karl. [Ah huh!]. then why not slip into something unccxn- fortable and join an extremely depraved So what can we pull out of the sack for bunch in LECTURE THEATRE G for Are you on campus on you this week (apart from several mem- an orgy of Sex, Larfs, Drugs, More Larfs, bers of the OFU committee)? Singles, a Rock, Lotsa Larfs, Roll and Plant Food Christmas Day? twenty-something movie about a grc^ at the Rocky Horror/Llttk Shop of [sic] (that means we meant to spell it that Horrors musical-extravaganza-type- way) of twenty-something year olds, double-bill-picture-thing-type-show We desperately need starring Campbell (Oooh, ring ring!) [take a pill and calm down]. Hckets your help at Scott, Bridget Fonda, Matt Dillon and priced £2.50 are available In the union Kyra Sedgewick. Heightened by Pearl foyer Friday lunchtlme and maybe Jam's evocative score, a must for all you even Saturday night, if you can't find grunge fans. Showii^ Sunday 6pm and us RESERVE A TICKET WITH THE Monday 6 and 9pm in Lecture Theatre HOUSE OFFICER. We'll be kicking Christmas Day G, RESERVE YOUR TICKETS off around llpm-ish-probably-more- WITH THE HOUSE OFFICER as the like-half-pasu refreshments provided at Lunch trading desk Is semi closed. half üme. Bring a pillow, or even better a friend. Cross-dressing flowed, wild or livid-dressing preferred [rice optional]. for the homeless of Arts Cinema presents a film ^x)ut a boy who believes that his mother was impreg- Guildford nated by a tomato, Leolo. A film ccmbin- And remember, Rugby Club (Ladies or ing 'achingly funny' black humour, Mens), "in just seven days I can make you If you can help please phone startling imagery and an evocative scCTe a maaaaann! !". Be obsceening you soon, (not by Pearl Jam), which traces the "I think you'd better both [GET LOST!] Emma on ext 4223 as soon as course of his sexual fantasies [Hmmm, I ccHne inside". Brad Maj(x$ [asshole!] and possible. wonder why Chandy wanted this one?], Janet Weiss [vice!]. go and see it it's brill!. Wednesday 8pm in Lecture Theatre G, book yer tickets with the House Officer.

"God created lips, and saw that they were good...." 15

AT THE MOVIES

With Pete 'n' Phil

Odeon, Epsom Road - Friday 3 December for 7 Days.

Screen 1 : ALADDIN (U) Screen 2 : MAN WITH-

^^he Disney studios have another smash on their hands OUT A FACE (12) A (unlike EuroDisney) with their latest cartoon (and what a coincidence, it's just in time for Christmas). It has a h^ ei Gibson's directing debut is a nice little story of a who looks like a cross between Tom Cruise and Bruce Mlonely teenager befriending a recluse, played by Gib- Springsteen, and it belts along like an Indiana Jones film - son, who has been physically scarred from an accident and full of frantic chases, miraculous escapes and good humour. emotionally hurt from a scandal which the new friendship And a lot of this humour ccnnes from Robin Williams, who threatens to reopen. Mel, with half his handsome features steals the show as the voice of the genie. He imis^ovised his covered in prosthetic make-up, does a pretty good job on part and the artists then came up with surreal images to both the acting and directing fronts, even if the film does slip complement his quick-fire, scattergun, wit The film is a a bit towards sentimentality. A good effort that holds a lot treat, with enough gags, puns and filmic references (even to of prcMnise for Mr Gibson's future. other Disney cartoons) to keep the adults easily as enter- tained as the youngsters. The songs, despite the Oscars, are instantly forgettable, but the whole thing is such damn fun Daily at 2.00 5.30 8.30 that you can ahnost forgive the racial stereotypes and Amer- icanised heroes.

Daily at 1.30 4.00 6.30 8.45 Screen 4 : THE SECRET

Also Sat morning at 11.00 GARDEN (U) lonely orphan finds friendship and magic when she Adiscovers an old abandoned garden. An ever-green classic children's story has been given life with good per- 3 * formances from tbe children and, unsurprisingly, fiom Mag- gie Smith. With its contrasting gothic, oppressive, old DEMOLITION MAN (15) mansion, and light life-filled garden, it is not surprising that the production design won an Oscar. reposterous and self-parodying, this latest block-bust- Ping, body- crunching Stallone fdm is a lot of fun, espe- cially for those who like macho heroics, large explosions, Daily at 1.15 3.30 5.40 irreverent comedy and science fiction satire. The plot is some nonsense ^ut Stallone and Wesley Snipes being frozen until 2032, when they are thawed out and promptly demolish the place. Stallone has all the personality of a MUCH ADO ABOUT tfee-trunk but the supporting cast are obviously having a lot of fun and there are loads of in-jokes and goofy wit to offset NOTHING (PG) the stupidity of it all. Fast furious, fiin and forgettable. ill Shakespeare and Ken Branagh combine to produce a Bjoyous, romantic, funny, accessible, erotic, witty romp. Daily at 2.00 5.30 8.30 (except Weds) Sunny Tuscany plays host to Ken and Em, along with Keanu Reeves and ronzii Washington and Michael Keaton and Ben Elton and Brian Blessed and all their friends, in this INDOCHINE (12) full-blooded crowd pleaser.

atherine Deneuve stars in this sweeping epic, which Daily at 8.10 Cfollows the exploits of a mother and daughter in the French-controlled Indochina of the 1930s. Deneuve begins a passionate affair with a young naval officer, who then falls in love with the adopted daughter. This grand and allegori- Enquiries/Credit Card bookings: Guildford cal melodrama is almost as exotic as the stunning Vietnam- 578017. Advance box ofHce open 2pni-7pm. Stu- ese landscape. dent discount available Mon-Thurs before 7pm (with NUS or ISIC card only). Weds 8 Dec : 1.50 5.00 8.05 16

^oB Spot ^

About Job Spot. above and speak excellent French are are free for 4-6 months from ApriiyMay, DISCLAIMER send C!V and covering letter to Club Med If you wish to advertise a vacancy on International Recruitment, 106-110 this page which is suitable for students Brompton Road, London SW3 IJJ. All students please note: the please drop me a line at Bare Facts In the Students* Union. The service Is free job details on this page are to advertisers. All positions open to male and female applicants. Club Med has 40 years of the only information we experience in providing holidays to 100 have and the Students' Un- worldwide destinations. Holidays cater ion accepts no responsibility Fashion shop for people of all ages. for the validity of jobs de- Full and part-time staff required for new ladies fashion retail outlet in Guildford tailed on this page. It is up centre. To start asap, wages negotiable. Earn Money for to each individual to check Cash in hand up to Christmas, payroll Christmas out the validity of each job from January. Phone Chris SkiUem on 081 758 2013. And help people suffering from Kidney when applying. We would Disease. Do as little oc as much as you be interested to know if any like - full-time available. Car an advan- jobs turn out to be bogus so Club Med tage butnot essential. Fulfilling WOTk, no h^ sell. that we can ensure the com- Parlez vous français? We are looking for Phone GuUdford 454747. pany is not advertised again young people (20-30 years) to wo^ in on this page. Thank you. our European holiday villages for our forthcoming summer season: Baby/chil- Student/Temps dren's clubs (experience required), host- ess/boutique/caisse (3 European 19+ required immediately fw very inter- languages required), receptionist/ac- esting ^es/quotation woric. counUng/cash desk 0 European lan- £100 per week. guages), sports instructor (experience FuU or part-time. 'CAREERS SERVICE required), tour guiding/excursicms assis- Telephone Luke for an interview on FORTHCOMING EVENTS tant etc (3 European languages including (0483) 453999 or Head Office on (0727) W^EK 9 German). See the posters in the Union 847867. foyer or in the BF office for further de- 30-MINUrE LUNCHTIME DISCUSSION tails. If you have experience in any of the ON WRITTEN APPLICATIONS

MONDAY 6 DECEMBER 1 p.m. IN THE CAREERS SERVICE NEW HEAD OF CAREERS SERVICE TALK THE MILKROUND AND YOU

t gives us great pleasure to welcome the new Head of the Careers Service, Dr Russ TUESDAY 7 DECEMBER IQark, who joined us on 1st December. Russ comes to us from the University of 7 p.m. IN LT F London (Dareers Service where he was a Senior Careers Adviser.

Russ took first degree in Chemistry at Bristol University and followed this with a 30 MINUTE LUNCHTIME DISCUSSION Masters degree in Biochemical Pharmacology in Southampton University and a I^D ON in Pharmacology in London University. Following his PhD he spent two years with HOW TO BE INTERVIEWED Beecham Pharmaceuticals where he worked on auto-schizophrenic drugs. THURSDAV 9 DECEMBER 1 p.m. IN THE CAREERS SERVICE He has spent the last 141^ years in Careers work in London University. During this time he has headed several of the College careers services including 5 years at Imperial and latteriy beaded the Central Careers Service in Gwdon Square. He has also TALK contributed to a number of careers publications for the Association of Graduate WRTITEN APPLICATIONS Careers Advisory Services, London University Careers Service and professional THURSDAY 9 DECEMBER journals. He brings to the University of Surrey a wealth of experience, and will, I am 7 p.m. IN LT F sure, make a valuable contribution to the University. 'CAREERS SERVICE' Peter Swift 17

THE OTL MAGAZINE ANNOUNCES Table d'Hote Luncheon FEEDING TIME '^here have been rumblings. There have been véritable Christmas Menus A tumults at times. There has not yet, however, been a published Out To Lunch Magazine. But now there wiU be: Available from 12 noon to 2pin, 6th - 23rd December 1993 launched in January 1994 at the onset of next term. Taut, entertaining, and challenging, OTL promises to be a tur- bulent mixture of uncompromising Art, opinion, and in- Menu 1 vestigative feature writing.

To start - Cream of vegetable soup or fan of melon with raspberry The Bare Facts' 8(X)th issue will coulis carry the first edition of Out To Main Course - Traditional roast turkey or nut roast with tomato «fe Lunch Magazine. 2,000 copies basil sauce will be available on campus and Dessert - Traditional Christinas pudding or Christmas ice cream at the affiliated St. Mary's Insti- ^OÎJÎN bombe. tute, Roehampton Institute, and Coffee & hot mince pies. Merrist Wood Agricultural Col- TO £11.95 per head (including Christmas novelties). lege. 1,000 copies will also be Parties of 8 or more are requested to advise us of menu choice in disuibuted in Guildford, Fam- advance. ham, Godohning, and Woking Colleges. Menu 2 Cocking their snoots at stoical University staff, inexperi- To start - prawn cocktail or fan of melon with raspberry coulis ence, and the Recession, disrupted attempts to produce the Main course - breast of duck in a black cherry and port sauce or first edition of OTL led the OTL team: Editor Jonathan grilled sahnon with hollandaise sauce Morris; Design Editor Nathan Brown; Jo Lamming; Dessert - Traditional Christmas pudding or Christmas ice cream Amanda Bowen; Gilbert Barnwell; Matt D'Arcy; and bombe Lorraine Lynch; to overcome a general student/ staff Coffee & hot mince pies intransigence and elephantine management problems £14.95 per head (including Christmas novelties). with increasingly accurate solutions. In January their dream becomes a reality. And you get to experience it.

OTL is continuing to trawl the Surrey student population for intuitive writers, designers, artists and those who want hands-on experience of the production of anew magazine; free from constriction of an in-house style or power-happy Students Union sponsors. Contact the OTL team via Room 20, House 51, University Court. Quick Copying Service Jonathan Morris, OTL Editor. Offset Printing and Binding The Univ ersity will be holding Its

All binding materials available for sale, Annual Carol including covers, Acetates, Combs (spirals). Standard and Super Copier paper. Service

Located Wednesday 15th December by entrance to Chancellor's Restaurant at 5.30pm For Further Information Phone - Mike Ramm - on 3267 Who'll be pleased to help you in Guildford Cathedral Tel: 0483 509223 Everyone is welcome Union House, Guildford, Surrey. GU2 5XH 18

n Jo. Zeneca wants you. We miss you bui n DEBS, Better luck next time. H ALISON, Compton - your hair is cut in please don't chunder in our bin next a bob, your beauty Jusy makes me sob, time. Q What do collecting tins and a certain my tongue's hangmg out of my gob, rag chair have in common? Answers on will you bounce up and down on my H Dave the guy with a smile so divine, to a post card to rag. knobbly knees? Mr Muscle, Compton be so sexy should be a punishment crime. How lucky I am that you're (oc- n What is RAGS policy of leaving people n I love you, I love you, I love you! Tom, casionally) mine. From the "TART" (who pulí) at oüier universities? ni do anjihing for you! love TINY who you beat at srabble from time to time. G Rick can we go and get some collecting nRHIAN, how is the man hunting go- tins soon? ing? love 'n' hugs another man hunter. n IXOR, Your skin cream works won- ders. «MICHELLE, I'm in love, Sn n STEW - redecorated any taxis lately?? ! nK&N I don't nessesarily agree, but I UDONNA, Give some of them up! a ARTHUR D, Been to Edinburgh rt- willbebest man!-R cently? n 3 steps to using a condom, l)Expel the hVOLUNTEERS WANTBD: Gary wants someonc to kiss him under the n EM - What are you going to do with air from the closed end 2)Unroll the your laser beams now, sweetheart?? condom onto the penis 3)Selotape it on mistletoe. so it doesn't fall off! njENNY: hope the chocolate cake was nLets be Frank here - is Rodney a O.K! plonker?!! HMARC STUPPLE-We're ali missing you, come and visit us sometime. Love n Phil: M&M - anything in it? n ARTHUR D, A bus, a bus, my king- the ex-STAG HILL POSSE dom for a bus. nTO A CERTAIN SHERIFF,'Not safe nPUSSY CAT, I told you I would ay enough!',From a certain SUPER- least tiy. Lots of love, PUPPY DOG. nKnickerless Kings shouldn't climb HERO trees - love 'sausagemeat' NPUSSY CAT, Meeeooow!, see even nCOMPTON Rm24. Juliet I am your old dogs can leam new tricks, PUPPY nWe were practising our pelvic thrust Romeo and l'm commin' up to give DOG shots at manor farm. Wl^t were you you a right twangingl-AIDANxxx practising in Edinburgh, JACKJE? n To aFrog named GILBERT... were you H WOD-FEE(N2)..What did you say you transformed into a prince at the Ball or nTo the 'now not so desperatcs' now can use a washing up bowl for?!?-UN- are you still awaiting a kiss? whose DESPERATE!! THanks for CLERICHIE everything - LOVE A n JD - Did you miss me then? Mxxx HHAPPY BIRTHDAY ON SATIIR- nSG: WhereisyourGS? DAY SALLY! n ID - So you've glympsed the real me. What do you think of my tme colours? nTo Mr Anti-clockwise. Mind the tum- n HELLO DONNA! Are you ready to submit yet? Mxxx ble dryer. K nJON (BIG+LlTTLE)-Hope you've uRACHEL-Helio! n Feeling hot,hot,hot! ! ! found basques that fit, LOVE CHANDY n RACHEL - Get that B ,M,R up- a brisk n ALISON, biochemist from Stag Hill. jog could be just what you need! What happened to you last friday mid- night at the disco? I was going to buy HHey FRANK, Whens the orgy? n RACHEL - had any üps lately? you a drink, from the ECONOMIST. rSATURDAY NIGHT!!(llpm) n Dr Plunkit, What are you like out of the a Shut up, dose your eyes and it'll hap- penl! «Hope you're better, Mr CERTAIN Computer room? love 'n' hugs NUMBER OFX's hKYRAM B.(Matt) - Get your kit off. n Drew, drew, 'a gel weir message for you. nTREV, SÜ11 picking bits of kitchen roll Love all Females out of your arse?-S+J HSTOP PRESS.-.Burger king Jumiar nWatford is wonderful says Phil from compton. nKEV, How come you can't tum the member killed in freak bog brush acci- "woman" on every moming?-S+J dent n So is Edinburgh, say ARTHUR D « ANDY, Do you fall asleep on the job n Jon T - the whole chebang is better, see asweU?-S+J you inbed! - R n To the wandering J. Come and show me how to takle ! n LIZ, We know what you' re doing when n NICK D and hios amazing face paint- he starts barkingl-S+J ingsü HUp the HORNETS! n Asleep on the job again, MIC? n Watch out, FELIX is about. 19

Student Community Action (SC A) AGM Tuesday 14th December7.00iHninCcHn- RAG's Colon mittee Room A, Level 8, Senme House AGMs t's the return of the RAG "we'll TRY Duke of Edinburgh Award Society AGM Ito be politicaUy correct and very intel- American Football AGM - Monday 13th Tuesday 14th December 7pm in Com- lectual" bit, but we can't promise any- Dec at 6pm in the Nelson Mandela mittee Room A, Level 8, Senate House. thing! Having surfaced from under all Room. those mountains of C(^pliments about The Industriai Society AGM on Thurs- BEER FACTS and RAG week a RAG Nursing Society AGM - Monday 6th De- day 9th December at 6pm in TB20A. contingency escaped to Keele Uni. cember in Week 9 from 7pm - 9;Hn in TBll. Tbe Student Tutoring Society AGM on There loads of money was raised (Over Wednesday 15th December at2pm in the £3000 in one evening according to their Canoe Club AGM - Sunday end of Week Nelson Mandela Room. SOBER RAG chair - proving that NOT 8 at 6.30pm in the Nelson Mandela everyone is a lager lout !) and new expe- Room. riences encountered! These included Water Polo AGM December 9th 8-9pm breaking a world record, multiple 'PV in the Melson Mandela Room. Scout and Guide Qub AGM - Monday for yours truly, - if you don't know what 13th December at Spm in TB23. this is come along to RAG meetings Tues No Wave AGM 7ih December 6pm in the 6.30 in the Lower Bar, and also find out Barclays Room. how Adam (or 'Edd the duck with a Rifle Club AGM - Wednesday 15th De- mohican') is now feeüng. cember at 6pm in TB20b. Pakistan Society AGM on Friday 17th December at 6.30pm in TB18. AU wel- You will be relieved to hear that the vice Hiking Club AGM on Tuesday 14th De- come. cember at 8pm in the Nelson Mandela -"ginge minge" - chair was accidentaUy Room. left behind at Keele (Oops! - no com- plaints were heard though) whUst the in- trepid masses hurtled off to Oxford. RAG AGM - Monday 13th December at Money raised there for WWF (Worid 6.30pm in ChancellOTs. EGMs Wrestling Fédération or Worid WUdlife Fund, depending on your viewpoLnt) is Creative Writing Society AGM - Mon- Gamesoc EGM - Sunday 12th December yet unknown untU we hear from the in- day Week 10 - 13th December 5.00pm in inLT Aat2pm. trepid PANDAMAN! No, I haven't Nelson Mandela Room taken anything, this is his tiüe.

Come along to the next RAG raid, détails TBA, raise loads of money for charity and feel all warm and gooey inside be- Notices cause you're such wonderful people. If Library Appeal for Zimbabwe Loc^ good in an overall? you feel you could be politicaUy correct and able to assist RAG in the next year ( Let the University of Surrey help to edu- Do you want a good time with your head or however long before you resign) come cate our world. We are collecting 'no under a bcmnet? If so, come to the Motor to the RAG AGM, Monday 13th Decem- longer required' books of all kinds - text- and Mechanics Club. We meet on Tues- ber, (ühancellcws 6.30pm. books and any fiction books for the Zim- day evenings at 7.30pm. Everything you babwe lilw^ ^peal. Please give any wanted to know about cars, inside and In awe and amazement ofyou, unwanted books to Rachel Davison, out, including exciting visits to radng BobBod Communierons Officer in the Students' tracks! We'ie the Mechs to see. LTE is Union who will then post them on to the place to be. AU beginners welcome. P.S. RAG would like to ^logize to Zimbabwe. See you there - Mizzie and Yamna. (We'll be taking names for the Christmas anyone offended by the 'gang bang' poem in Beer Facts. Artists... booze-up! RAG Challenge Calling all budding artists - we need you German Society to draw and design posters. Contact Steve To think up beuer RAG chaUenges than on ext.9983 or call into the Ents. Office. Lower Bar Disco on Tuesday 7th Decem- dye-ing Dickon's hair. ber at 8.00pm Lost Coat USBases Has anybody got/seen my navy blue coat lost at Cocktail's, It has my gloves in the Any one interested in visiting a show on pockets. Please reply via Notices. Saturday 4ih December meet in the Un- ion foyer at 12 noon. Bring enogh money Orange VW for a travel card.

Could the owner of the orange VW Bee- Chanceliors tle in car park 4 please contact me -1 am interested in buying it for spares if it is Due to Christmas functiiins in week going. I am in Guildford next weekend 10 the Chanceliors Har & Restau- but can be contacted on 0992 461538. rant will l)e chised for bar and snack faciUties. Snacks will he a\ailable fnun tlie Serverv. 20

Crew Column Jazz and Blues Soul Club

eU didn't we have an exciting 45 Society eUo again. Thanks to everyone who Wminutes of interaction this week!? Hcame to 'Renaissance' yesterday. I Watch out Basil, it's judgement day on hope you enjoyed it If so, there's another Tuesday 30th! Anyhow, the week ahead To the Bone. one on the 16th of December. It may be goes as foUows: the night before the E)raw Disco, but it is e have the 'To the Bone' Lower Xmas aifter ali. Friday 3rd Dec WBar disco this M(Hiday 16th dec. Admission is only 50p and the doors There is stili a serious lack of first years open at Spm. Please show your support at our meetings. We do need you to take - Sex, dnigs and rock and rol! disco by coming down early and chUling ouL over next year! Tìie music wiU range from Roy Ayers, - disco in Lower Bar Sly Stone, the JB's and other 70's Just a quick mention to Nicole+DanieUe grooves to the modem day sounds of - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Cheers to every- Gallinano, Jamariquai, JTQ, Mother Saturday 4th Dec one who came to my party, especially Earth, BNH, Incognito, Cwduroy Etc. Chris + Andre who lent me ali the equip- Basically anything jazzy and funky, in- ment. Anyway, this isn't a personal col- - disco in Lower Bar cluding Hip Hop. umn.

Sunday 5th Dec There is no meeting this week because of so see you later, the disco. If you are coming on the trip to Anna the acid jazz Christmas party (Sat llth - Optika + Papertiouse free in the Unicm Dec), make sure you see me this week to get travel detaUs. Another eventful, h^penin' week jam- O packed (chocolate, I think) with Sex, Remember messages can always be left Drugs & Rock and RoU. Loads of fun in the Jazz and Blues p/hole in the Union. a % with a serious tone, COUN Ü ^ d SmML i Crew Secretary

hiday

3fd De

8pm - 2am

The Permissive Society Tickets: £3 From Union Foyer l2-2pm 21

Young Europeans!

Greenpeace Day of Action nyone interested in getting the AGuildford European Movement ''•"'he sun was shinìng, ibe sky was blue (GEM) off the ground again, please col- X and hangovers were fading, as brighi lect a newsletter from the GEM pigeon and early Salurday moming, ihe Green- hole in the Union foyer (somewhere be- peace group set out for Teseo, as did neath the Bare Facts box). GEM is part Greenpeace groups all around the coun- of the Young European Movement, in try, for a spot of picketing and demon- tum part of a larger organisation (JEF) strating on behalf of the minke whale. active in over 16 European countries East On arrivai we sent our advanœd troops and West. inlo the store to sticker the Norwegian prawns while the rest of us set up our The most attractive aspect of JEF/YEM stali, right in front of the revolving doors or GEM is being able to attend subsidised (we were not going to be messed wiUi). youth seminars all around Europe on cur- rent issues. In the past, GEM has taken WiUiin minutes, troUeyboys and security me (and others) to France, Spain, Hun- guards were running inside lo teli man- From our new base, two of our number gary, Czechoslovakia, Italy, Greece, agement of the immense ihreat to pre- launched leaflet raids on the carpark and Germany, Austria, Estonia, etc and back Christmas Saturday shopping which had after an interesting talk with one of the again. Interested? Who wouldn't be? appeared out of thin air (m their doorstóp. duty managers who assured us of bis Recommended to broaden anyone's ho- This confusion left us with a few minutes go(^ intentions by pointing out that he rizons! to get our message of "No-Way Norway, had adopted a whale for his daughter, we » obtained the concession of being able to Stop the Bloody Whaling" across to quite Contact Adam Bedkowski, a few shoppers before the Tescos Task talk to customers in the carpark. We Force (one security guard and one man- explained to these generally friendly and ager) politely escorted the group off receptive people that we were there to put GEM pigeon hole Teseo land. pressure on Teseo to stop buying Norwe- gian produce (mainly prawns) as Iceland LIS pigeon hole and Safeway had - the reasons being th^ we hoped the econcnnic pressure that this Cath Ct pigeon hole would exert would encourage the Norwe- gian Govemment to stop whaling. In fact Norwegian prawn fishermen have ai- E-mail: U91ab @surrey ready started to complain to their govem- ment about lost revenue. A.BEDKOWSKI

P.S. Look out for more info on the notice After a few hours of these actìvities, we board opposite the LIS Coffee Room packedup and went home. Weknewthat we had not saved the worid but we had AD20 changed some minds, informed some who had previously been unaware of Uie situation and hopefuUy done some good, Were we beaten, downhearted and gen- and as they say " YouMl have somebody's erìtly glum? No way, we just remem- eye out with that" or isn't it "Rome German Society. bered the Greenpeace motto "By any wasn'tbuilt.." means necessary" and got on with pro- 've had quite a few letters frwn p^ple testing from the entrance to the c^ark lwanting tojoin. So, forali those inter- where we erected a large poster depicting If you would like any more info on how ested, the meetings are every WEDNES- the slow and painful death of a harpooned to join the boycott of Norwegian prod- DAY, at ó.OOpm in the Chancellors. The whale, since, as good as the murder ucts, contact Catherine through the aim of the Gennan society is just to have weapons are these days, only a few Greenpeace pigeon hole or check the fun - you can talk English or German. whales die instantly. Greenpeace noticeboard for a list of Nor- You don't even have to be Gennan or wegian products. speak German to join!! We've already been to Oxford this term and any sugges- tions as to what trips/special events we CREDITS: can hold are welcome.

Rachel Davison - Editor Chris Pye - Music editor On the 7th December we're having a Lower Bar disco. Entrance £1 by ticket Tim Eyles - Layup artist Saloni Radia - arts only - tickets available from any member Nikki Henningham, lan Danter & Mark Lawson - of the German society: mainly. Elena Latta (contact through the LIS pigeon typists hole);Sarah (Uni Court, House 60, Room lan Rouse & Tim Hunt - photos 12) or me (Uni Court, house 54, fìat 9). Cara McMulIen & Catherine Lyons - Proofreaders If you're interested in selling tickets, PLEASE letme know. Christian Union - stuffers Mike Ramni - printer See you Wednesday,

TINA (Treasurer) And thanks to all contributors. 22

GameSoc MSTHI MSTHI

ell, this is rather nished this week, Wbut here we go. TTie tabletop gam- ing is going very well, with a wide variety Revue Ball Update of games being played.If there are any GMs out there who want to run a game ''Thanks to everyone who supported next term, please contact us via the pi- X MSTHI department is organising its A. the balloon launch for the chari^ geon hole. Also, we have to have a repeat annual revue. The event is to be held in dinner dance. The event was a tremen- perfonnance of tbe EGM on Sunday 12th Wales House on Thursday 9th Decem- dous success. December LTA. I'm sorry about this, but ber(Week 9) at 7.00pm the Union Officials forgot about us!! We are pleased to announce that Mrs Come along and watch the MSTHI Maureen Hunt from tbe International Of- Tabletop Dept's piss take, sorry, amusing fice is the winner of £50 whose balloon sketches!! Just come alcMig and pay on finished up in the Isle of Wight. Sundays 2-llpm lecture theatres the door for a really good laugh. Also, Wednesday 6-llpm Teaching Block there is a disco arranged for afterwards. Mark Garland

Live Roleplaying 27th Charity Dinner Dance

Any minute now we are due to open negotiations witb the Guildford Adven- Sport Can Give You A Headache ^ turer's Guild, so watch out for this next tenn. Thursday 9th December 6pm, LTE Laser Quest he Riding Club has organised a talk concerning hat safety for all sportsmen and This weeks scores hot off the Twomen, the following speakers have been invited and all are very welcome to press...(note that these are the net scores, attend. At the end of the brief presentations, we will ask those present to sign an open ie the team score minus tbe points scored letter to RAG asking them to support the Maalc Davies Injured Rider's Fund (MDIRF), agianst you! a locally based charity now affiliate with the Riding Club which is researching hat safety in all sports and pressing for change in this area. Chicken Tremblers 1655 Aggro 972 Food and wine will be offered. Cyborgs 140 Smegs -2767 Nie Jeeves, USSU Riding Club Safety OfBcer - introduction. I'm sorry, but we won again! Vince Hill - The aims ofthe MDIRF. The next and fmal game of the term wiU be Wednesday week 10. Please meet at 1pm in front of the stage and please  top canoeist will discuss head injuries in other sports. please please bring some friends with you! I We were 11 people shwt this week, A Health and Safety Offîcer has been invited to give the official view meaning that GameSoc lost money. You all know that this is great fun and we on head injuries. ' know that you want to play next tenn, so find new players. Jane Davies, MDIRF • The new Hat Report

Final word Conclusions and questions. T-shirts....We have a design, it just needs to be sent to the printing company, so Matters to be raised will include: C>)mparisons of different types of hats. British safety they should be around next term. How- standards, what do they give us? The need for a world wide safety body. The need for ever, they are going to be sought after as choice, rather than imposition by official bodies. John is an excellent artist To make sure you get your T-shirt before the rush, drop We urge you to encourage all members of your club to come along (especially safety a note in the pi- officers and instructors) and any interested individuals are welcome to attend. Further geon hole and we details available from the Riding Club. will reserve you one. The price Alison Ingram, Nic Jeeves. willbeapprox £5- £7.

This is your C^ tain signing off...

KelUe 23

Campusdance SPORTS AID FOUNDATION Chinese London & South East Traditìonal Folk YOUNG TALENTED SPORTSPEOPLE Dance CAN WE HELP YOU? ome and join this woikshop and be Cintroduced to the beauty of this ori- Do you need financial assistance? entai classical dance form To qualify, the following criteria apply: Saturday 4th December You should be aged between 12 and 25 To have completed with distinction within your respective age 2.00 - 4M p jn. group and achieved: Membership of a National Squad or Team at the Varsity Centre Finished within the top six places of a recent NationalAJK compe- tition. for enrolment details cali A place within the top six places of the National rankings. Campusport Centre Live in London, Kent, Surrey, East or West Sussex. Hold a British Passport Applicants should show a clear need for financial help. Applications accepted irrespective of Race, Sex or Disability.

Fw application form contact:

Sports Akl Foundation (London & South East) 16 Upper Wobum Place London WCIH OQN Lacrosse Club, Tel: 0442 826599 Fax: 0422 890376

TX AND RUNNING. Sticks are not es- RIVER WEY AND GODALMING sential 'cos we have some! So if you want someUiing different, but fun, get along to NAVIGATIONS Stag Hill pitches, Wednesday afternoons 1.30pm or contact Sarah via the lacrosse pigeon hole in the Union to find out PUBLIC MEETING more BLOKES WELCOME....ITS NOT JUST A GIRLIES GAME! ! ! METHODIST CHURCH HALL, WHARF ROAD, see you tfiere GUILDFORD

MARK (Social Sec.) WEDNESDAY 8 DECEMBER 1993

ou are invited to attend a meeting open to everybody who would like to know Ymore about the National Trust and the management of the River Wey and Are you ready Godalming Navigations. There will be a presentation on the recent reviews of property management and an illustrated talk on current projects on the Navigations.

for Friday 4th MEETING STARTS AT 8,00 P.M.

February REFRESHMENTS AND CAR PARKING AVAILABLE 1994?

Keep watching this space! (Bare

Down...Set..Huh...Huh! CAMPUSPORT SPORTS SALE

One Day Only!

Tuesday 7th December 9.00 a,m, - 9.00 p.m.

in the Tap Room

atthe Campusport Centre

SALE

SPEND ANY Yes, the rumours are finally tnie, Surrey donate £5 to the best design out of my AMOUNT AND GET University have got an American Foot- own pocket! The names we want designs THE SAME ball team. We have been practising for a on are 1. Stingers 2. Sharks 3. StallicHis couple of months now. The signs I am 4. Scorpions. So, if you want to submit a AMOUNT OF getting are brilliant - that we could have design for considération, then please GOODS FREE a world class team in the making! place it in the American Football pigeon Are you interested in playing this won- hole in the Union F.A.O. Chris Pye. derful sp«l? Although we currently have approximately 25 players we would like Practlces more. We will soon be taking delivery on Sports Forum some team T-shirts. Personalised gameshirts, pads and hehnets will foUow These take place every Wednesday after- Monday 6th l)ecenil)er at 6pm in in the new year. noon opposite Nat West Bank ^ 2.30pm. TU2»A' The other weekly practice is under re- view so please check the pigeon hole for Can YOU draw? détails of this practice. Anybody who is Interested in the way tiiat sport Is run at this Univer- The Surrey University American Foot- sity is welcomed to this informai Chris Pye discussion. ball team need a logo. I am willing to Acting American Football Captain.

iBrìnted 6y iSiikg^ ^Hffmm - Union iBrìnter