Goodbye, Carolina, for Now
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November 2020 carolinareviewonline.org Vol. XXVII · No. 4 UNC’s Conservative and Libertarian Journal, Since 1993. Goodbye, Carolina, For Now We Can Make Packing the Court UNC Conservative Will End America BRYSON PISCITELLI p.3 ALEXANDER YALCIN p.6 Why You Should Unconstitutional In Defense of Contest Winner: Oppose Abortion COVID Restrictions Tucker Carlson Pronouns ALEX KELLY p.9 ADAM SKRZECZ p.11 MORGAN CHAPMAN p. 7 SK DOHERTY p.15 From the Editor-in-Chief Carolina Review is the journal of conservative and libertarian thought published at the Dear Readers, University of North Carolina. Since 1993, we have been a consistent (and the only) published voice of conservatism on campus. At last, this semester is over. True to their promise, the University got us Note that each article expresses the view of the home by Thanksgiving. Well, actually by the second week of class. But whether author, not the publication or staff as a whole. you went home then or now, I hope that as we enter the Christmas season you all EDITOR-IN-CHIEF can reconnect with family and loved ones and find relief from the heavy mental Bryson S. Piscitelli (‘23) burden of the last months. I sincerely appreciate your willingness to read my and EDITORS Elliot Gualano (‘24), Managing Editor & Satirist my staff’s thoughts on society and politics, but when we live in times of crisis, Adam Skrzecz (UNC Law ‘22), Law Editor the truth is that the only unwavering solace for the burdened soul is in one’s fam- SOCIAL MEDIA ily and in one’s God. Kristina Anastasia Perjar (‘21) This being our Thanksgiving issue, it is fitting to note our thoughts on the CARTOONIST founding of America. We reject the idea of America as foundationally impure; Nicole Divers (‘20) STAFF WRITERS Morgan Chapman (‘23) Lydia Comer (‘22) Sarah Kate “SK” Doherty (‘24) Nate Gibson (‘23) Gray Hurley (‘21) Cabel Jarrett (‘24) Alex Kelly (‘24) Zachary Kosnitzky (‘21) Devin Lynch (‘22) Guilherme “Gui” Marinho (‘24) Kristen Snyder (‘24) Skylar Teague (‘21) we reject that America has an ‘original sin’ of being a colonial state. We reject Alexander Yalcin (‘22) that our Republic and society ought to be burned to the ground because we once EDITORS EMERITI allowed slavery, or any other evil. Ironically, many of our writers aren’t descend- Charlton Allen, Founder ed from the first colonists— in fact, some aren’t even American by birth— yet Nathan Byerly, Bill Heeden III, Scott Rubush, James Baley, Steve Russell, Matt Rubush, we understand the need to cherish and preserve the society founded by that Deb McCown, Adam Herring, Fitz E. Barringer, daring band of British colonists five centuries ago, and the liberties enshrined Brian Sopp, Taylor Stanford, Ashley Wall, Bryan Weynand, Nash Keune, Zach Dexter, Anthony by their descendants. Even more ironically, though we have an explicitly stated Dent, Alex Macey, Chase McDonough, Kelsey political leaning, we accept greater ideological diversity (within the center and Rupp, David Ortiz, Frank Pray, Alec Dent, right) than UNC’s other publications. In short, we reject wokeness. This alone Jesse B. Oliver makes us unlike anything else on campus. ONLINE carolinareviewonline.org Finally, I would like to congratulate SK Doherty for her winning article in our $150 contest, and her runners-up, Guilherme Marinho, Cabel Jarrett, and AFFILIATE The Carolina Review is a member of the Kristen Snyder. With the accession of these four bright freshmen to our staff, we Collegiate Network, an organization of the have surpassed the Brown Gadfly to become the third largest publication in the Intercollegiate Studies Institute. Collegiate Network, behind only The Chicago Thinker and the Texas Review of LEGAL Law and Politics. I am immeasurably proud of our staff for their tireless work to Carolina Review is a recognized student group at the University of North Carolina at Chapel produce more magazines this semester than the past two years combined. Hill, and a 501(c)(3), nonprofit, nonpartisan Merry Christmas to you all, and please, if you admire our work and want organization. This issue was paid for, at least in part, by student activity fees. All inquiries, to make your voice heard, join us! letters, and donations should be mailed to 282 Frank Porter Graham Student Union, UNC-CH Campus Box 5210, Chapel Hill North Carolina Lux Libertas, 27599-5210. Please email [email protected] for more. information. Bryson S. Piscitelli Copyright 2020 Carolina Review. All rights reserved. Printed in Raleigh, North Carolina by Editor-in-Chief Chamblee Graphics, Inc. 1 CAROLINA REVIEW · November 2020 Vol. XXVII · No. 4 · November 2020 Contents Features In Each Issue 3 We Can Make UNC Conservative The Editor-in-Chief declares the From the Editor in Chief 1 goal of Carolina Review: to help everyone realize that UNC can be more conser- Contents 2 vative, and how this will even make campus life better for leftists. Viewpoints 23 BY BRYSON SCOTT PISCITELLI The Rub 24 6 Packing The Court Will End America A new staff writer explains Cartoon Corner 26 the danger of packing the Supreme Court, the history of the idea, and how likely we are to do it. carolinareviewonline.org BY ALEXANDER YALCIN 7 In Defense of Tucker Carlson A staff writer responds to the ridic- ulous Ryan Smoot op-ed against America’s most famous television host, and Donations & Subscriptions explains why Tucker is so popular. To become a subscriber to Carolina Review, give a gift, or change your BY MORGAN CHAPMAN subscription address, contact us at 9 Why You Should Oppose Abortion A staff writer explains the [email protected] scientific realities of abortion, and his own personal experience with the prac- A yearly subscription (each magazine tice. mailed to you) is $60. BY ALEX KELLY Carolina Review 11 Turkey With a Side of (COVID) Tyranny The Review’s Law Editor 282 Frank Porter Graham Student Union briefly discusses the unconstitutionality of many states’ COVID restrictions, and UNC-CH Campus Box 5210 how we must fight to preserve our liberties in crisis. Chapel Hill, North Carolina 27599-5210 BY ADAM SKRZECZ Letters to the Editor 13 Film Review: The Madness of King George Our anonymous Carolina Review welcomes your com- Film Critic discusses how a classic film stands as a vanguard against liberalism ments, criticisms, and suggestions. Letters to the Editor should be sub- and Whiggery. mitted via email to carolinareviewon- BY CHARLIE STUART [email protected] or mailed to our 15 Contest Winner: ‘UNC Lacks Diversity (of Thought)’ permanent address. Carolina Review Ms. SK Doherty recounts being forced to announce her pronouns at a UNC reserves the right to edit letters for length, clarity, and vulgarity. Please orientation session, and how we should be free to have true diversity at our keep letters to the editor below 1000 university. BY SK DOHERTY words. Not all letters will be printed. 17 Runner Up: ‘Young in Politics’ Include your name, year in school, A former staffer on the Madison Cawthorn campaign (Congressman-elect for major, and hometown. Professors should include their department. NC-11, youngest man to ever be elected to the House) explains the appeal of young people in politics like Cawthorn and AOC. BY CABEL JARRETT Join the Staff 19 Runner Up: ‘American Liberalism: The New Carolina Review always needs new Another contest entrant explains the dark reality of cancel writers, reporters, photographers, Communism’ cartoonists, web designers, etc. culture, and its similarities with tactics of Communist revolutionaries. Please contact Carolina Review at BY KRISTEN SNYDER [email protected] to find out more about how you can become a part of our team. Contents 2 We Can Make UNC Conservative BRYSON SCOTT The explosion of interest in PISCITELLI Editor-in-Chief Carolina Review proves that far Sophomore Contemporary European Studies & PWAD Major more UNC students are disillusioned from Raleigh, NC with wokeness than anyone thought. ou go to UNC? They something even bigger: by num- conspiracy theory was born after a must not like you bers alone, we have the ability police officer shot Michael Brown there! to turn UNC, the Berkeley of the Jr. in self defense. As riots erupt- I, like most writers ed, the phrase ‘stay woke’ entered for this publication, the national lexicon for the first Yhave heard these words from “Most importantly, time, a play on the word ‘awake,’ countless friends and family since meaning to be ‘awake’ to ‘truth’ being accepted to study at Caro- even students who of the supposed murder. From this lina. And who can blame them? are not particularly conspiracy theory was also born They’re right. Unless you’ve the inklings of Black Lives Matter, been living with wax in your ears, political are turned something that has since grown you’ve heard that Chapel Hill is off by wokeness. into a pervasive, revolutionary liberal. Very liberal. In fact, the social movement to reorganize only thing stopping it from the American society along entirely title of most left-leaning town in East, that island of urban leftism new principles. the state is our neighbors in the in the sea of Orange County, into Though ‘woke’ original- People’s Republic of Carrboro, or one of the most conservative elite ly meant believing in the media Durham a few miles over. colleges in America. And with it, hype about yet another fake police In the past six months, campus life will become far richer, murder, it has since grown into though, I’ve realized a startling students will be happier, and something much larger. Woke be- truth: the student body of the discourse will be better— even for came a way of life.