Gay Deaths Are Sleazy, If You Make It So

The New Indian Express 2 SEXUALITIES Saturday, October 31, 2009 zeitgeist Silence to homophobia Your Saturday Magazine Around amounts to complicity the World The Campaign for Open Minds, launched by activists, public health specialists and support group members, deserves all the support it can get, writes Aniruddh Vasudevan

othing much changes simply a male sexual health project in the city, chiatrists should refer to the directive from at Aravanis on the road or in the train, it is because the law changes,’’ a remarks, ‘‘many parents have paid a lot the American Psychiatric Association, which time to realize that there is very little differ- cynical friend remarked a few of money to doctors and led their children removed homosexuality from the list of dis- ence between us and racists. days after the Delhi High Cou- into situations of trauma and misery.’’ These eases in 1973, and endorse it.” More importantly, fighting homophobia rt’s verdict on homosexuality. reversal and aversion therapies subject LGBT The campaign, which is set to go nation- cannot just be at an inter-personal level. If a While his flippant remark an- people to untold trauma and distress, often wide soon, is made available in several lan- school or a college does not protect LGBT stu- noyedN me, it was in line with my own percep- seriously damaging their emotional health. guages, and also appeals to the media, film dents from discrimination, ragging and vio- tion on the relationship between legal change Parents must seriously find a better way industry, educational institutions, work plac- lence premised on their sexuality or gender and social change. However, the truth is that to express their love for their children than es and business enterprises to be sensitive to expression, it simply means homophobia is a lot can be brought to public discussion and forcing them to change such a vital part diversity. If we have laughed at or made fun institutionalized. If work places do not in- even policy change once the law stops criminal- of their personal lives just so the families of a gay or gay-looking (whatever that means!) clude discussions on sexuality in their pro- izing us. It is shame enough already that we can escape societal criticism. A very support- person in our classrooms or offices, and have grams on diversity and ensure non-discrimi- Gay marriage may could not address the issue of homophobia in ive and understanding mother of an openly gotten away with it, it is time to realise we are nation, it is nothing but homophobia. For be legal soon in NY a focussed, sustained and fearless manner for out gay man in the city had this to say: ‘‘I homophobes, that we are discriminatory. If silence amounts to complicity. New York governor David Paterson all these years. Crisis intervention seemed to refuse to give much importance to opinions we have altered our relationship to a loved has said gay marriage would soon be the only option — to run to help someone of people. I have had enough of those. I am one for the worse, simply because he or she — [email protected] be legal in his state. Paterson was after an instance of violence and discrimina- paring down the things I can worry about to is gay, lesbian or bisexual, it is time to realise speaking at a Manhattan dinner tion has already taken place. just a few. My children’s happiness comes we are bigots. If we have passed lewd remarks hosted by gay rights group Empire Not any more. We do not have to wait. We foremost among them.’’ State Pride Agenda. The bill has should start talking about homophobia in Magdalene Jeyartnam, Director, The Cen- already passed the state's this country. People may ask what the term ter for Counselling, says that let alone Assembly and will be voted on by means, but that does not mean they are not therapy, even the counselling needs the Senate in the next few weeks. It familiar with the emotion. They might have of LGBT people have to be seen will then go to Paterson for experienced it personally, or dealt it to some- in the right context: ‘‘I do approval. He cannot force the one. Homophobia — the irrational fear and not think that anyone Senate to pass the bill, but said he hatred of homosexuality and homosexuals. from the LGBT commu- was optimistic that it would. Parents, friends, bosses, colleagues, subordi- nity itself need counsel- http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2009/10/23/ nates, doctors, nurses, teachers, even random ling. If at all they do it is governor-says-gay-marriage-will-be- people can be, and often are, homophobic. like a victim of trauma un- legal-in-new-york/ Parents try to pass it on as love and concern. dergoing counselling/therapy. The rest smugly justify it with excuses like, People who seem to have straight ‘‘Oh, it is unnatural,’’ ‘‘It is morally wrong,’’ jacketed views on sex and sexual ‘‘It is disgusting.’’ As anyone who has tried desires are the ones who need help. to live as an "out" queer person can tell you, I think, in many ways, we have forced strongly held, unexamined sentiments like our views and limited understanding these hurt you more than (seemingly) well- of sexuality on others. Sending them

The campaign, which is set to go nation-wide soon, is made available in several languages and appeals to the media, film industry, educational institutions, work places and Forcing their rights business enterprises to be sensitive to diversity A Russian lesbian couple will marry in Canada and then try to use a loophole in Russian law which recognises marriages from abroad reasoned arguments. for treatments to change but does not specify the gender of The Campaign for Open Minds, launched their sexual orientation couples. Irina Fedotova-Fet and Irina by a group of LGBT and human rights activ- is like blaming a victim Shipitko attempted to marry in ists, public health specialists and support and letting the perpetra- Russia in May but were not allowed group members, seeks to generate public dis- tors go free.’’ to. Speaking to the Toronto Star, cussion and debate on the very harsh reality Sridhar Sadasivan, one Shipitko said: "All we wanted was of homophobia. It has taken its first step as of the people behind the to be together … married like any an open letter campaign. Three open letters campaign, emphasises the other heterosexual couple — from health care professionals, from fami- importance of self-accep- http://www.pinknews.co. lies and friends of LGBT people, and the third tance for one's mental health. uk/2009/10/23/russian-lesbians-to- one from LGBT people themselves — have After struggling alone with marry-in-canada-today/ been hosted at www.orinam.net, and have himself for several years in the already been signed by several people. The face of prevalent social percep- Campaign was launched on 11 October 2009, tion of homosexuality, Sridhar the world Coming Out day. found relief in self-acceptance. One primary impetus for starting this cam- Connecting with other LGBT paign has been the flood of negative reactions people in the city and other plac- following the Pride Marches in June, and the es, hearing their stories, made him Delhi High Court's verdict decriminalizing see the horrors that people go consensual, adult, same-sex acts. Scarier than through. ‘‘It is horrifying to see how any religious leader's loveless virulence on some in the Indian medical commu- TV have been the several talk shows featuring nity claim that homosexuality is a dis- doctors who claimed they had a ‘‘cure’’ for ease and that they can cure it with con- homosexuality. L Ramakrishnan, Country version therapy, shock therapy etc. These Director, Solidarity and Action Against the treatments are unscientific and harmful. HIV Infection in India (SAATHII), and one of This brutality against the LGBT commu- the people behind this campaign observes, nity should stop,’’ says Sridhar. Well-known kick homophobia ‘‘Parents of LGBT youth are anxious to ex- psychiatrist Vijay Naga swami agrees with Kick It Out, the Football plore these options in order to ‘reform’ their this: “Absolutely. I beli eve that Indian psy- Association’s group for tackling children and bring them into the hold of gen- homophobia and racism, der normative heterosexuality.’’ ILLUSTRATION: organised a forum for people to Adding to that, Sunil Menon of Sahodaran, TUHIN CHAKRABORTY discuss the problem of homophobia in football. The event was held at Brighton and Hove Albion on October 27, Tuesday, and was organised in conjuction with the Justin Campaign, which was named after Justin Fashanu, the only openly gay footballer. http://www.pinknews.co. Gay deaths are sleazy, if you make it so uk/2009/10/23/brighton-event-to- address-homophobia-in-football/ The ramifications of Stephen Gately’s death underline a shallowness to gay activism in the west

he recent non-controversy over launched against the article, Stephen Fry he married a man who dumped him in the Jan Moir’s supposedly homopho- wrote bilious stuff about it on Twitter clearly living room while he had sex with a Bulgar- bic article on the mysterious without having read the article, The Guard- ian in the bedroom. What sad poster boy for SHINOD AP death of Boyzone non-singer Ste- ian’s Charlie Brooker wrote a foul attack in gayness is this? phen Gately in the British tabloid just the style that would guarantee him a job Why are we bent upon making gay icons of The Daily Mail tells us a lot about at The Daily Mail, Nestle and Marks and Spen- people reluctant to even be known as gay let Tour times, whether the extremely shallow cer’s removed their ads from alongside the alone as gays who do cannabis and pick up nature of campaigns on, and yet damaging article and The Daily Mail removed all ads randy Bulgarians for their husbands? Within power of, the Internet, the tokenist and capi- from the article and tried to re-write it. The India, for example, there was a controversy talist nature of gay activism these days in the gay consumer lobby was flexing its muscle (local, however, and not blasted across the West (and we seem all set to follow it as gay- and the corporate were running for cover. internet) about the death of playwright Chetan ness becomes more and more a lucrative mar- Nestle has no problem destroying mothers and Datar. No one talked about his gayness or the ket here) and the clay feet of our supposed children in Africa but weilders of the pink fact that he may have died due to complications An uncivil action gay icons, among other things. pound must not be ruffled. around HIV and AIDS and when someone did, A woman who complained about Let’s take each of these one by one. Moir’s Aren’t there more serious causes for which there was a private witch-hunt. Friends and a gay Pride march in Norwich article is not the homophobic rant it is made a million twitterers can come together? family were outraged. has said she may sue the police out to be and does not warrant the supposed Like shrinking health care benefits for peo- Gay deaths are sleazy, yes, but that’s beca- and local council after she was 25,000 complaints the Press Complaints Com- ple with HIV/AIDS in Britain? But that does use the gay subjects themselves make them investigated for possible hate mission received. All Moir said was that the not make for sexy internet activism, does it? sleazy. Reluctant gay subjects have interna- crime. Pauline Howe, 67, wrote death was sleazy (which it was) and that this Gay popstars being found dead on their lised homophobia and, consequently, prepare the letter to Norwich city council proves that homosexual relationships can also couches do as do supposedly gay men being the templates for controversies around their to complain about a Pride march be fraught and strange, which is a truism. If hanged in Iran. That makes Peter Tatchell deaths. What’s wrong with dying of HIV/ she saw. In the letter, she described anything, Moir is slightly contradictory and get on his Islamophobic horse and ride AIDS? What’s wrong with getting Bulgarian gays as ‘‘sodomites’’. She added naïve in stating no one expected this sort of Ashley through the internet world. studs over for a threesome? Nothing. Except that homosexuality had death for Gately and maintaining that gay Tellis What sort of gay icon was Gately? He if you yourself think so. If you never ever ‘‘contributed to the downfall activists argue that gay relationships are just was utterly mainstream and pretended to come out as gay or as poz; if you have some of every empire’’ and was a like straight ones and this death proves them be straight for most of his life. He was stupid commitment ceremony in Vegas and major cause of sexually wrong. Surely, this death proves them right. “smoked out of the closet,” as Moir reminds a civil union in Britain and then get the Bul- transmitted infections. For every straight married man’s strange is an academic. Feedback to this us, because his gayness was about to be garian over. Then, your momma gets to legis- http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2009/10/26/ death there’s a gay one and that actually pro- article can be sent to leaked to the press and made money from. late over how you died and sleazy rightwing [email protected] christian-woman-may-sue-after-police- ves rightwing gay activists right. He did nothing for gay people ever. He was journalists get to call you sleazy. That’s too investigate-gay-hate-crime-letter/ However, an insane campaign that was depressed and on medication for years. And bad. Deal with it.

2-sexuality.indd 1 10/27/2009 12:03:50 AM