Robert Morris University Oral History Center

Iraq/Afghanistan Veterans Project

Transcript of an

Oral History Interview with

DANIELLE MERCED CASTELLANO

Human Resource Specialist, US Army

October 12, 2016

Danielle Castellano (1984-), Oral History Interview, October 12, 2016

Biographical Sketch: Danielle Merced Castellano enlisted to the (2007-2011) and served as a 42A with the 82nd Sustainment Brigade. Castellano deployed twice to Afghanistan rising to the rank of Specialist.

Topics Covered in Interview:

US Army

42A

82nd, 101st, Sustainment Brigade

Bagram, Afghanistan 2008-2009

Casualty Report Operations

Haiti- Flight Manifestation

Kandahar, Afghanistan 2010-2011

Post Office

Job Security

College

Interviewed by Josh Caskey

Transcribed by Nathaniel Mallery

Edited by Adam Salinas and John McCarthy [00:00:00]

JC: This interview is part of the and Afghanistan Veterans Project undertaken by the Oral History Center at Robert Morris University. I am Josh Caskey and today is 12th of October 2016. I am joined by Danielle. Danielle can you please state your full name.

DC: Danielle Merced Castellano.

JC: And do I have your consent to interview you today?

DC: Yes.

JC: Alright. So, we’re going to start off with just a little bit of background about you. Let’s start with where you born and when you were born.

DC: I was in born in 1984 in Plattsburgh, New York. I moved to PA before I was 3 years old

JC: Ok and you ended up joining what service?

DC: The Army.

JC: And what year did you join it?

DC: 2007.

JC: And what recruiting station or region did you go out of? Was it in New York?

DC: No, at the time I was living in Peters Township, it was a Washington county recruiting station.

JC: Oh, it was ok. So, you moved to Pittsburgh and then you came out of Pittsburgh ok. And what rank did you get out at as?

DC: E4.

JC: E4 which is a Specialist ok. So, let’s talk a little bit about your whole enlistment process and your reasoning behind it. First, did 9/11 have any impact on your decision?

DC: I’m not sure. I mean it wasn’t like the reason that I joined. It wasn’t solely because of 9/11. I think like since I was younger, I really thought I was interested in being in the military. I tried to join the Army at 16. I wanted to do Air Force, but the Air Force wouldn’t take me because I had two kids and that was too many dependents or something to get into the Air Force if that makes sense. So, I went to the Army and they didn’t have any problems and I liked the MOS that they gave me which was 42 Alpha. They were able to give me a security clearance and everything like when I joined so it was I think job security because I had two kids so, you know, I wanted something and then like I really liked the college idea because without it I wouldn’t have been able to go to college. I needed the job security so that I could get divorced. I was anticipating a divorce and I also needed something that would enable me to support my kids. [00:02:03]

JC: Absolutely and that’s what you’re doing now. So, when you joined how old were your kids? Probably hard to remember 2007 and so how old are they now? I guess.

DC: Yeah my daughter was born in ’01 and so she would have been, what, six? And my son was born in ’04 so he was like, what, three or four? Something like that.

JC: Ok excellent. And did you have any history of family service?

DC: No.

12/7/2018 (My biological father was in the military I don’t know what branch & he didn’t raise me. Also, my maternal grandfather was drafted into the military at some point, he did not talk about it a lot, he died when I was a teenager, so I do not have a lot of knowledge about that period in his life. My mom however had the horrible stigma of the VA that has changed drastically since he was involved with the VA.)

JC: No, no history ok.

DC: I mean one of my uncles was in I think the Navy, but it wasn’t something that I was familiar with like the military was completely foreign to me. The way of life was foreign to me. When I got orders to go to the 82nd I had no clue what unit that was, so I was lost.

JC: So, it wasn’t like and it wasn’t a reason why you joined.

DC: Yeah, no.

JC: Ok, that makes sense. So, what did…what else attracted you other than job security? Was there anything that you knew about the military that attracted you to the Army? You said you initially went to the Air Force but…

DC: Yeah but not really. I think I just wanted like the experience of like it looked like a cool thing to do. I played a lot of military video games; I was an active child so when I would see the commercials, I was always thinking that I could do that so I should. They show the commercials of the obstacle courses and crawling under barbed wire and stuff it looked like so much fun.

JC: Yeah and like you said job security as well. So, you and you did two tours in Afghanistan. Is that correct?

DC: Yes.

JC: So, we’ll…we’ll keep this specific to Afghanistan. We won’t worry about what, you know, what you knew about Iraq. As far as your understanding of the war in Afghanistan or Operation Enduring Freedom, what did you know about it? Were you familiar with it? Would you see it on the news at all? DC: I thought I was. That was not the case because I was; I think like most Americans I listened to the news and I thought they were giving me the truth and telling me what was going on. I thought they knew what was going on and they really don’t. What they portray can be so far away from the truth I don’t even know how they get away with it. So, when I got orders to go to Afghanistan, I thought I had some clue. But the news and tv shows that were available to me at the time didn’t really prepare me so to speak about what was going on over there. In boot camp they tell you that you are going to deploy, and you are going to die. So, there are no “reality checks” until you arrive boots on ground.

JC: So that changed. So, you…

[00:03:46]

DC: Yes, that changed drastically.

12/7/2018 When I first got to Bagram air base it’s like what you would see on tv about third world countries. The “airport” portion of it, I remember getting off the plane and standing in the air hangar waiting on everyone to gather together, figure out where we are going and everything. The walls were caving in, there was evidence all-around of war. Crack in the walls, portions of like ruins in the corners and stuff. That was an eye opener. It was night when we arrived, so we went to our rooms and slept until morning.

JC: Ok we’ll get into that I guess later we’ll talk about how that changed for you but it from what you thought you knew had changed once you deployed multiple times.

DC: Yes.

JC: Ok. Interesting. So, let’s talk a little bit about your whole experience before deploying. Just talk a little bit about maybe your training. Some people talk their basic training, but you can talk about whatever you want as far as….

DC: Basic training was really nothing compared to going in the 82nd, because then you get your own training when you join the 82nd. like that was…where I was stationed. So, at first, I was in 1st Brigade and that was only for a few months and then I got transferred to Sustainment Brigade. And they had told me that it was because I was a female, they didn’t put me in an infantry unit so I couldn’t be in an infantry unit so that’s why they moved me. However, in 1st brigade was where I really learned most of my combat related skills. First thing, when they do PT in the mornings, they literally run 8 miles a day. No basic training can prepare you for that. I went to hand to hand combat training, we did so many combats related, house clearing types of trainings and learning how to use your surroundings for cover and stuff that they really don’t teach you in basic training. A good way to put it is that basic training teaches you the army way of life. It prepares you for your career. You get up, do physical training, eat breakfast, conduct personal hygiene, get ready for your day, go to training, have dinner, clean weapons, go to bed. So, it prepares you for doing everything in unison as a group. JC: So, you were with 1st and then you went to Sustainment Brigade, but it all fell under the 82nd.

DC: Yes.

JC: What were, what was your feelings about being with such a storied, iconic unit?

DC: Well I didn’t really know they existed at first.

JC: Oh really?

DC: So it wasn’t like oh I… when coming into the I, I knew nothing about it so it was, you know, another thing that I learned once I was in but there was like no feelings going into it or anything like I’m in boot camp and I’ve got my orders and I’m like “What is this? What unit is it?” like I never…

JC: Ok so you got your orders in your basic training.

DC: Yeah.

JC: Ok so then you’ve…did you go to a “follow-on” like AIT before you went to ?

DC: Yeah, we went to AIT. That was also I’m pretty sure I stayed in South Carolina for basic and AIT.

JC: Ok. Is that Fort Jackson or…?

DC: Yeah Fort Jackson. Pretty sure that was the deal there for 42 Alpha and I think finance does the same thing they’d stay there at Fort Jackson.

[00:05:42]

JC: So just talk briefly, real brief, about 42 Alpha schooling that you received as far as training. What do they prepare you for?

DC: They don’t prepare you for casualty at all. There was barely a mention in it so that was not something, that was something that I learned in Afghanistan, but it does fall under my MOS, but they don’t teach us. And the other thing I did was I ran a post office during my second deployment and they also don’t teach that in AIT. So it was like we…in AIT we learned how to do things like process awards and like do like your basic like administrative work and that’s done normally like in an office on post and that’s not what we did at all whenever I was deployed so. AIT gives you a little bit more freedom. You can have your cell phones back, and you get a lot of free time while you are doing job training.

JC: So, it is fair to say that you didn’t feel trained in either job that you did?

DC: Exactly. I did not. I mean I received training for casualty operations when I was in Afghanistan the first, I want to say two or three weeks but then I ran a shift on my own, a twelve-hour shift. Casualty reporting is something that’s 24/7 and there are a lot of time limits on it so like I ran my own shift and then the other two which was my NCO and another private ran the opposite shift so and I think the first like eight or nine months we didn’t even have days off like it was every day, twelve hours a day.

JC: So, this is your first…your first tour you’re talking about?

DC: Yeah.

JC: Ok so you… did you go over with the Sustainment Brigade through the 82nd, is that who you deployed with?

DC: Casualty operations at that level is done a little bit differently. So, I went over there while the 82nd was deployed but because they don’t want you doing casualty reports for your own unit, I was there only under the 82nd for I would say a month or two and then it was 101st. So, I was attached to 101st and doing casualty reports for them.

JC: Ok well let’s talk about like the transition like so you’re…you’ve…you were stationed at Fort Bragg. Let’s talk about the whole process of getting ready for deployment and then let’s talk about you going over there just a little bit about the process of getting over there.

DC: Ok so when I got stationed at Fort Bragg, I ended up moving to the Sustainment Brigade and then shortly after that they put me in the IRS’ tax training because I was going to be helping with accounting. About a week or so before I graduated I got orders to deploy so then I just, you know, was forced to quit that and we didn’t really have any special training as far as deployment goes but I had all that when I got to the 82nd like initially. I don’t know what they call it but like training to like disarm people and combat related stuff. That was all done as soon as I got to the unit. So that was, that is a qualification of pre-deployment training, but I didn’t have to do any of that because I had already done it. They basically like issued us our weapons and stuff, put us on leave. It was very fast. It was an unexpected deployment They…we…I think I deployed in January of 2008 so and being that I joined the Army in 2007 it was…it was eight months. At first it was scary. All you hear about the war is negative, people dying and gruesome. Of course, everyone thought I was going to die.

[00:09:07]

JC: That’s very quick.

DC: Yeah.

JC: And you had two…. you had two children.

DC: Yeah so…

JC: We’ll talk more about how that affected your children as well. Let’s talk a little bit about… DC: They thought I lived in the computer. When I deployed, I could skype them on my laptop in Afghanistan. So luckily, I still got to see them and everything mostly every day. I was not in a position where I was off base on missions all the time. My mission was in the command center, so I was solitary on Bagram. The only time I would leave would be to go to the bazaar.

JC: Oh really?

DC: Yes.

JC: Oh wow.

DC: Because they would see me like on Skype and stuff, so they were all like “When are you coming out of the computer?”

JC: Oh goodness. Wow. Let’s talk about how you got over there, you know. What is the process of getting over there? Where do you stop and then where did you end up?

DC: We stopped in . I mean I’m pretty sure we stopped in Germany and then stopped in Kuwait and then we ended up staying in Kuwait for about a week before we were able to get a flight and that was due to the snow in Bagram because Bagram, believe it or not, gets snow and ice so that was another thing that I didn’t know until I deployed. It is a long long flight from the US to Afghanistan. Its cramped, we have all our gear and weapons with us.

JC: Yeah? I bet that was a shock.

DC: Yeah, because the news is always like it’s a desert, so I was like it’s the desert, there’s no snow in the desert. So that was a shocker, but I mean once we got there like I stayed in Bagram. The JOC is a secret building and that’s inside a compound that’s inside Bagram so that’s…

JC: Ok so that’s a JOC, a Joint Operations Center.

DC: Yeah, Joint Operations Command Center, so.

JC: Command, ok. So, in Bagram. So, let’s talk about the first few days or even the first few weeks. Did they…did they kind of spin you up on what you were going to be doing or did any of your situations change?

[00:10:35]

DC: Yeah. I mean once you get into the AO (area of operation) that’s whenever you get your training for that and I’m pretty sure that’s about a week or two because you go through like rollover training and whatever random training, they decide to give you. In Afghanistan you get a lot of bomb training and IED training because that’s something that’s relevant over there. For example, they will show you photos of how the locals will mark areas that they know have bombs from back when Russia was in Afghanistan. So, since they have nothing, they will stack rocks up in a pyramid to warn others to stay away because there are still bombs there. I can’t really remember all the initial training when we got there…. I mean its stuff that we do so often that it’s like…I mean you just…that’s all I can remember now of…of the training. And then once you get out of that, that’s like a separate training then you’re allowed to go and like do your job and stuff and that’s training that everybody that comes into the country gets. I would imagine except for Senators and stuff like that, but we did train for the casualty reporting for about a week before we decided our schedules and decided like what we were doing. And that’s really just like don’t give you the reports they’ve already written and stuff and show you how to use the system but it’s sort of something that you have to do in order to understand it and be able to do it. So that’s sort of like as casualties are coming in, you’re able to train and just have your trainer check it before like they send it up because you don’t want to ever make a mistake on something like that. The 82nd had kept pictures of casualties. The photos would go no further than the JOC, but there are photos and drone footage and all kinds of visual evidence. We would also watch the ANN news and stuff. The news channel in Afghanistan is nothing like American news channels.

12/7/2018 – One thing that was shown on the news channel CNN was a situation when 101st first got to Afghanistan, they had gone on a and the middle truck was struck by an IED. Most cases, as with this one, the truck catches on fire. So, there is the IED explosion, Fire, Smoke inhalation, and the rounds will cook off inside the truck because of the intense heat. Also, the doors stick or become sealed shut, so the men inside die from any number of these things. They can’t get out. Now everyone is taught to never leave a fallen comrade but that doesn’t always happen. In this specific incident, the convoy commander decided to leave the truck because they were taking heavy fire. Once the fire in the truck went out the enemy took the bodies from the truck and beheaded them on national TV. So, in our office that came on the news, it was really devastating.

JC: Sure, I mean that’s…that would be horrible. Oh, my goodness. So, let’s talk a bit…a little bit about your time over there then you know, what was it like processing reports for people that you probably didn’t know these people but you…these were service members. So, can you talk a little…

DC: Yeah most of them I didn’t know but we do know like a lot about them because we take basically like what happened and then, you know, the situation and then we’ll all see it will pull up all their information like their personal information, their family, you know. We just compiled these reports. I mean you don’t like, it’s hard to explain like if somebody for example got like chopped up from like a propeller of a helicopter or something and their body got like flung all over the place, we would obviously not say that in a casualty report so you have to sort of clean it up a little bit before because these casualty reports go to the DA (Department of Army) and then the DA uses them to notify the family of what happened and then there’s time limits on them also like, I believe it’s four hours, they want a report of once somebody’s killed and then if they’re wounded you have to do like a follow up report every 24 hours to see how they’re doing unless they’re evacuated like to Germany. At that time, they were only evacuated from Bagram but now I believe they’re evacuated from Kandahar too. This can be very emotional. There is a lot that happens over there that we don’t talk about. There are service members who kill each other, kill themselves, hurt each other or hurt themselves. Casualty encompasses everything – sick, wounded, ill, deceased. It all falls under casualty.

JC: Ok so you did wound in action as well as casualty like people who were killed in action. Any casualty.

DC: Every…people…yeah, any casualty yeah. That’s something that I think people don’t understand because that’s wounded, killed, sick…anything. It can be very overwhelming.

JC: Ok that’s a lot of people.

DC: There was a woman that had a baby over there and she…we did a casualty report. We didn’t put that she had a baby, but we had babies so, but we follow everything, everything that everybody does. A lot of times like you see on the news here like there’s drones in the sky and sometimes I’ve seen drone footage here and there but it’s nothing compared to what we watch like everything. There’s, at any given time, probably more than six or eight drones flying above the country and there’s things like, I think the first few days I was over there one of the things that I saw was a school full of children get blown up and like they just play it over and over and over again for like two or three days like they study everything like where the guy came from, what he was wearing, what he looked like, like everything. Things like that I think are more memorable just because it was the first time, I saw it, so it wasn’t something that I was not expecting. You hear about it on the news, but you don’t really hear how much of themselves that they hurt all day, every day doing these random, stupid shit that they do. So, I think that was like really…at…at first it was like shocking.

JC: How did you deal with it as far as mentally, emotionally?

DC: I mean mentally…well mentally and emotionally you get a lot of mental training at that level so you have a lot of understanding as difficult as that is to wrap your head around…and then you also like I think halfway through I ended up being put on Ativan because I was getting depressed. Because it’s like literally we sit there and watch people die all day, every day so it does get depressing and they do tell you that when you first go over there that you’ll probably get depressed at some point doing casualty reports. They don’t really say, you know, it’s a guarantee but I think for most people it’s a guarantee. The girl that worked on the opposite shift from me she couldn’t handle like a casualty report. She would just sit there and cry so it...it depends I think on the person too…but I mean I dealt with it pretty good. I tried to use my own emotions to push me to do better. If I were that family what would I want to know? What would my last wishes be or wishes if my spouse or child was the one in this service members position.

JC: Ok. You made do with what you could.

DC: Yeah, because you must understand that this is something that they do over there like that’s normal to them. It’s not normal to us but, you know, to them it’s normal. They get trained on how to make bombs and stuff from the time they’re little kids you know. Their children are used as weapons, they kill their own children for reasons that are so barbaric. They…there was actually a little girl over there that her…she was like a local and she was like three or four and she had swallowed a battery and it like ate away at her esophagus and they ended up…they put a tube in her but they were trying to send her to the States to be like…to have it fixed because I guess they couldn’t fix it but she was somebody that I followed for a while because it was fight and I left the country not knowing if she ever made it, you know, to the States or not to have the surgery but her mom had given her a battery because she didn’t know what it was and she was just like, you know, here it’s a toy. Of course, the kid swallowed it and it was too late by the time it sat in her esophagus for a while I’m pretty sure too; but they don’t have like toys. They don’t have running water. They don’t have electricity. Like for people who’ve been over there, like we understand that but talking too like a regular civilian like it’s…it’s easier for me to sit here and say ok like we gave them toilets like during my second deployment I went to Ramrod to run a post office and we were…we were there with the ANA (Afghanistan National Army) and like their toilets like they didn’t know how to use them, you know. They would…they would just poop all over the place. They would wipe with rocks, so our trucks would break any time we cleaned their outhouses because they used rocks instead of toilet paper. They would stand on the toilet seat and squat down rather than sit on the toilet seat. Basic tasks like this would seem impossible for them to accomplish. So, we are fighting a war on education also because they need so much education, and that lack of basic education really harms these people.

JC: Yeah, it’s foreign to them. Literally foreign to them.

DC: And we would try to like teach them and then, you know, we would try to clean their…we ended up quit…we quit cleaning their bathrooms because I guess they were wiping with rocks and it was ruining our trucks so like we quit but like that stuff that like even though you say it to a regular civilian they don’t understand it completely, you know. Like pictures of the flooding and stuff when during the rainy season were like…I could sit here and explain all this all day, you know, like you can’t do anything because the whole area’s flooded. There are no sewers systems like it’s horrible, but I think the pictures explain it a little bit better because, you know, people can see that. I’m getting off topic.

JC: No, you’re not no its fine. It’s perfectly fine. So as far as like these casualty reports during your time there I mean I’m sure you’ve…how many do you think…how many reports do you think you processed? Ballpark.

DC: I mean there had to be hundreds.

JC: You’re doing it daily pretty much right?

DC: Yeah.

JC: Maybe multiple reports a day? DC: Multiple a day and that doesn’t mean that somebody was killed every day but there’s also like on top of the initial reports you also do like follow up reports until you have all the information. So, for some, like it could be like a line of duty investigation can take like a very long time and some cases like a year. So, like I was updating reports that happen before I even got into the country so I didn’t know that it existed, but like it…the line of duty investigations is really like really involved and there can be hundreds of pages long so.

JC: This is investigating things that happen, I’m familiar with it. Are there any…any cases, I hate to use the word case because these are people, but are there cases and people that stick out in your mind as far as your time over there? If you were to think back to some of these, which ones stick with you the most?

DC: There are people like there was one, I don’t know his name, but I… I will never forget him because he had six kids and he was killed. So even though he would’ve have gotten… like his family would have that gotten insurance money, that’s not enough for six kids. So that was one of the KIA’s that I remember, it sticks with me. Some incidents stick with me, we see a lot on the drones, we hear a lot coming over the radios which can be terrorizing to have to listen to and not be able to help them when they need it.

JC: So, this is…this a U.S. service member?

DC: Mhm.

JC: Ok so six kids. Wow.

DC: Yeah, because when I looked at like when I pulled up his information yeah, he had six kids. So that was like difficult. That was one of them that I actually cried because we like have…anytime somebody was killed, everybody would line up on Disney drive and they make a video of like the service member being… like the casket being driven down Disney drive to the airfield and everyone salutes the casket as it goes by; and stuff but that was one that I actually like cried for because he had…I felt so bad because he had six kids. I felt so horrible for his children

JC: And you had…and you have kids as well so you can understand what that would be like for your children?

DC: Well I think for six it was like that’s a much bigger impact than like most people have like one or two or even three but for six…

JC: I know it’s like I have five kids myself so I can imagine.

DC: Yeah that’s like a lot I mean six kids losing like a parent and then, you know, the other parent it’s just going to be that much harder like I just felt so bad, you know, for that one. There was also John Penich and I like I would never forget that one because that was one where it was a friendly fire incident and we originally sent out the casualty report as friendly fire and CNN was there broadcasting it. They were there with him so I believe it’s called Restrepo but it’s on you tube…you can watch it.

JC: Yeah, I’m familiar with it.

DC: Ok but then his family was initially notified that it was friendly fire and then when we sent out a like a follow up report Kuwait who was supposed to just, you know, read the report and ask questions, accidentally changed it to enemy fire. So, the family was notified a second time that it was enemy fire so then they were like “What’s going on, you said last time it was friendly fire.” So, then it launched a big investigation like they had to come out and like look at our computers and look at Kuwait’s computers and that was how they found out that Kuwait accidentally changed it.

JC: So, this is…imagine what this probably does for that family.

DC: Yeah and I recently watched a video of I think it was on YouTube because I was going through your questions and I was like looking up things, but they do have like a follow up like I think it was like a year later where his mom was on a video and she was explaining it and everything and she didn’t even say anything about that. So, I don’t even know if she remembers. I mean she was still in shock and she had said that it was very shocking for her when it happened, but I thought that was kind of interesting because things that like we know I mean they obviously know but the media like mainstream United States everybody will never know.

JC: Yeah, no that’s…that’s very strange. What as far as any civilian casualties that stick out to you…

DC: Yeah there was a woman. She was a civilian contractor and she was working with the local Nationals and she had gotten one of them dumped I want to say gasoline or something all over her and lit her on fire, but she lived. It ended up being a…it was like a high-profile case. So, I had to track her like every ten minutes, but she did live. She was burned on I think 80% of her body so she made it back to Texas. After she made it back to Texas, I quit following her but I mean she lived through the incident, she made it to Germany, and then after Germany she made it to like they’ll stabilize you in Germany before they send you. So she did make it to the burn unit in Texas and I believe that was the same incident that there was the United States captain or major and they caught the guy that lit her on fire and handcuffed him and they put him on his knees and the captain looked over at the lady who was still on fire and shot him and killed him and he got in trouble for that because he had his hands handcuffed so he was yeah which I think anybody would have done the same thing, you know, when you’re watching someone on fire burning to death. You’re not going to care that somebody was handcuffed like this is the man that did it, you know, but that’s something like sticks out because that was like a major, like major case so. That was an American Civilian working in Afghanistan as a contractor. Afghanistan civilians would become bait so to speak for the Taliban. They control every move the civilians make because they have the advantage, they kill their children. JC: Definitely. So, we can…we can revisit anything at any point so keep in mind as we go through the interview, things that pop into your head as far as…

DC: I did like I…I guess after the interview I can send you like I have a picture and then I did write, like I wrote answers to the questions. I can send you that too in case we forget.

JC: Sure, I appreciate that. So, let’s talk a little more lighthearted stuff a little bit and hopefully a little more lighthearted. How was your time? And I mean that I a sense that I’m curious how your, you know, the people that you worked with daily. What did you guys have tight camaraderie and what was you free time like when and if you had any?

DC: For a while we didn’t really have any forced fun but then I want to say about halfway through that deployment like our Sergeant Major came over and he decided to do the mandatory fun thing. So, we would have like once a week would have like movies or something in the office. I mean we had like I literally sat at a desk all day, every day so I had internet, I had music, we had movies to watch and stuff. We had like a dartboard like in our office. Aside from that, working a 12-hour shift and having to do everything else after work can be daunting. For someone who has not been there they don’t really understand what goes into daily tasks. When I would get off work, I would go to the stores, get snacks, buy things that I needed like laundry soap or whatever. In the JOC, there was a laundry facility where we just had to drop off our laundry and someone would wash it and dry it. It would be about a 2 or 3 day turn around. So, you can’t wait until the last minute to wash your laundry. Showers, you must pack your shower stuff up and walk to the showers. Where I lived, the shower closest to me was a 10-minute walk from my B- Hut. The bathroom was on the bottom half, and the showers were upstairs. So, something as simple as going to the bathroom before bed could be a 20-minute ordeal.

JC: What about as far as like physical fitness? Any…any outlets for that?

DC: I mean we had a gym. The JOC does have a gym in the basement so I mean that’s where the Four Star is like we…they have a DFAC (dining facility) in the basement too so. We could also run around the base and stuff if we needed to let out some steam

JC: Which is your dining facility ok.

DC: Yeah, and usually we only used it if were like really busy and couldn’t…in the case of like a mass casualty or something and you can’t go eat then you can grab something down there but that’s reserved for like the officers and stuff for the most part.

JC: Ok. You basically have everything at your disposal at this Joint Operations Command.

DC: Yes. I mean that’s where everybody like on the JOC floor, that’s where everybody from every like, I don’t know how to say it like you would have casualty, you would have medical operations, you like every different… Task Force. Each task force would be represented and each “service line” so to speak would be represented. For example, casualty operations, medical operations, mortuary affairs … each of these units did something different, but at the top they all work together.

JC: Combined.

DC: Yeah they’re all…they’re all combined there and then like they have maps like of the country up, they have like the drones, you have all these screens and there’s like all this information and they’ll track wear there’s an IED or like where there’s like a Nine-Line coming in and stuff. You have all this information all in one place. So that’s like basically to like where the entire war is happening is in like this one… All of the tick marks will be on the map of everything that is happening

JC: So, you were basically watching it play out.

DC: Yes, literally.

JC: Essentially or literally yeah.

DC: And it’s like in a movie theater style seating and you must have a security clearance just to get in to the JOC floor because…

JC: So, you carry credentials around or something?

DC: Yeah you have tags you wear so like they’re color coded and then they also like can scan on to things but you have to have those to get into the JOC floor so none of like…even though like the locals will come in with a contractor and clean the JOC, they’re never going in that section and that section itself is like a movie theater style like you’ve got all the big screens and the you’ve got all this seating and everybody, you know, so if I would have a question about like…like a specific bomb or something, I would go ask the guys, I don’t even know what, the radio guys or whatever because they would be relaying that kind of information to the guys in the field. I can’t remember what they’re called, but like I do because like I worked very closely with Med Ops too, med ops would be coordinating the medevac flights, mortuary affairs would take care of the deceased bodies. Each task force or unit relies on the information from the other units. It’s all intertwined kind of like a spider web.

JC: No but I mean it’s perfectly fine. Don’t worry so much about the little things. That’s what I say.

DC: Yeah but yeah like everybody works close because you need other people like you need the other MOSs and stuff for their information so.

JC: Wow that is…that’s interesting and that’s very…I mean different than what I knew over there but it’s definitely very important. As far as so did you have any close friends over there or establish any relationships with friends while you were over there?

DC: Yeah, I mean I had friends and stuff over there but a lot of them were from a 101st because I was…so like when I came back, they weren’t at my base, so they were still in Afghanistan. JC: So, while you were over there you had, you know, people that you could…some camaraderie.

DC: Yeah, I mean at first, I ran that shift by myself because I ran the night shift so twelve PM to twelve AM or whatever. And there was nobody like working in the office at that point in time but after quite a few casualties and the fact that like the awards section was different than casualty so if a casualty happens and they want to…the general, the commanding general likes to go down to the Bagram hospital and like do the Purple Heart thing so he wants his own special like casualty report because he wants to know things like, you know, who their friends are, who was hurt in the incident, like stuff that’s personal to like the service member and so but we would also, I would also have to write like the Purple Heart award and everything because it got to be too much like with more casualties happening. They ended up having like the awards sections stay overnight too. Like somebody would command that overnight too. So, like I ended up like halfway through the deployment I did have people working with me in my office because I could go in my office or in the JOC floor, but I usually would stay in my office because I had everything in there. I had like four computers and like everything that I needed there. I could sit there and like listen to music and stuff and not have to worry about like, you know, everybody else so.

JC: So, you in so…where was like your living quarters in relationship to where you were? Was it close?

DC: It was actually yeah it was close.

JC: Ok so you did have a separate…you didn’t live in…ok.

DC: We lived in B-Huts at that time and in…in Bagram I lived in a B-Hut and in Kandahar I lived in one of those little container rooms, whatever you call them. I don’t remember what they’re called but you know what they are, like the…like the rooms in containers.

JC: Yeah, yeah. I never lived in them myself, but I know what you’re talking about. Yeah so as far as and this kind of seems like a not a great question but because you’re obviously doing a very important job, but did you feel like you’re being used effectively? It sounded like you were very busy.

DC: Yeah. I wanted to stay there longer like I volunteered to stay longer but they wouldn’t let me. It is an important job.

JC: Yeah absolutely.

DC: And I just felt like I was doing a really good job at it so I wanted to stay but like unfortunately my command felt, you know, I should leave. They thought that it was like too much casualty reporting so like it was too much to be there any long so.

JC: So let’s talk a little bit about the transition back home and we can always feel free to revisit anything so I’m kind of doing it chronologically but if something comes up, feel free to “Oh from my first deployment…” you know “this was something that I noticed…” so you …so how long did you end up staying there before you went back home?

DC: My first deployment was fourteen months we were there.

JC: Oh my gosh that’s a long…

DC: We were supposed to do fifteen months, but our replacements showed up early. I don’t know why.

JC: So, you’re… so you’re over there for fourteen months. Who has your kids?

DC: My ex-husband, their father had them.

JC: Ok and you said you were able to communicate with them? How was that?

DC: Yeah it was pretty good because I could…we could use like Skype and stuff. I mean working at that level like I wasn’t…I didn’t have really a lot of restrictions. I had a cell phone. You could buy cell phones over there, buy minutes so they could call me or it was very much more expensive for them to call me than it was for me to call them but yeah if anything important happened like they could call and then we also did Skype and stuff like that through the computer.

JC: And that sounds great but at the same time you don’t have your kids physically there so I’m sure that was difficult.

DC: Yeah. I mean it was difficult the first couple months I think but I mean as long…they were being taken care of and stuff so.

JC: So, you felt comfortable with the fact that you knew that they were in good hands?

DC: Yeah.

JC: Ok that’s…that’s good that you had that because I can only imagine.

DC: I mean he ended up I think trying to move out and then he ended up like going and staying with my mom and she was able to take care of the kids, so they were yeah in good hands.

JC: That’s good. So, you came back to…where did they live? Did they live in North Carolina?

DC: Yeah, they were in North Carolina but when I came back, they were in Pennsylvania because my mom lives in Pennsylvania.

JC: Oh, ok so they started off around Bragg area?

DC: And we…yeah, they stayed in Fort Bragg and stuff until he moved, I want to say about four or five months prior to me coming home. And then I went when I got back, I went and picked them up from my mom’s house and then came back to North Carolina. JC: Ok so you come back to the states and you rekindle your relationships and you’re back with your kids. What’s…so what’s the timeframe like between like then and your next deployment?

DC: Well after my first deployment Haiti happened and our President said the 82nd airborne division was going to Haiti. I didn’t go to Haiti, but I did manifest the flights, so I was still working like really long hours, really crazy hours because that was something that also had to be a 24/7 operation. So, I mean it was easy because I didn’t go anywhere so but then after that then I deployed again. I want to say within about a year because I…my second deployment was 2010 to 2011 I believe.

JC: Ok. Let’s talk about that deployment. So, you have to do this all over again. You’re going back to Afghanistan, saying goodbye to your kids again. What was that like?

DC: I think it was a little bit easier the second time because I…

JC: It was easier?

DC: Yeah because I knew what to expect for the most part and then like we had postal training in Boston prior to deploying which we because we knew we were deploying as postal and so my kids went to my parents to stay with them prior to that training and then they ended up being with my parents about a year even though my deployment was only six months because I got sent back early because I pinched my sciatic nerve and I don’t know how I did that. I couldn’t walk. It got to the point where I couldn’t even take like a baby step. I was in so much pain so…

JC: Oh goodness. So, you get over there and you’ve…you know that you’re going to be doing something totally different than your first tour so talk a little bit about what that was like and then maybe some of the differences.

DC: I mean it’s still a post office so it’s still a relatively safe job considering you’re like deployed. You know what I mean like it’s not like I’m not in infantry.

JC: You were…was this in Bagram as well or no?

DC: No that was in Kandahar.

JC: Oh, in Kandahar ok.

DC: Now we were supposed to go to Kandahar and run the Kandahar post office and when we got there, we ended up getting spilt up and running all of the post offices that fell under Kandahar. Ramrod was where I went and I met two engineers who built the post office and that was the post office that the three of us worked in but they needed somebody that was qualified as postal in order to like continue to run the post office. And there was certain things that like, you know, like those little blue mailboxes that you see like they’re literally supposed to be bolted down to cement in the ground and I mean, you know, we got in trouble for that all the time. Where are we going to get a block of cement first? You know like I mean we had the blue mailbox, but we had it chained up but like it was chained to like I think the DFAC and the DFAC was made out of a tent so like you know. We did what we could

JC: So, what are some of the major differences? Obviously, there are some major differences. You’re not doing casualty reports daily but as far as maybe the living situation, the camaraderie, any major differences?

DC: My neighbor, because that was…that was the post where the ANA were on, we shared the base with the Afghan National Army, and my neighbor was a Terp and he was an older man. He wouldn’t look at me at first. He wouldn’t look at me. He wouldn’t talk to me. He lived right next to me, but I was a female and on Ramrod there was only like five or six females. There was not…and we had British soldiers there too. We had two dog units because there was an American dog unit and a British dog unit. The DFACs…there was one American DFAC and then the Afghan DFAC which we would eat there. I don’t know why but I mean its good food but like coming back to the States and like actually thinking about it like I have no idea what I was eating.

JC: Like the sanitary aspect of it?

DC: Yeah, the sanitary…yeah like we don’t…I don’t know why but we do that when we’re deployed. Postal still imported. We would have a lot of the infantry units that come back to Ramrod and even though Ramrod is not like a major post, but they would come for their mail and stuff like that.

JC: Now are these army units mainly or different branches?

DC: Army, British…British didn’t get mail through us although they would try but for some reason we could not deal with their mail. I don’t know why. And our mail would be flown through the Russians. The Russians would fly it from Bagram and we were not allowed to get on their aircraft and the reasoning was because they’re allowed to fly drunk but I don’t know if that’s…like I don’t know if that’s really…I wouldn’t put it past them because on my first deployment they were allowed to drink and stuff like that. We technically weren’t but there are…there are services that can so that’s very possible.

JC: Yeah, different roles for different countries. Absolutely.

DC: Yes, if you look up like Russians…Russians driving and stuff on, you know, YouTube…

JC: No, I know what you’re talking about.

DC: Yeah like I could imagine how they’re flying rules are so.

JC: What did you say? Did you stay at the Ramrod, the entire deployment? I know you said you went home earlier than expected. DC: Yeah, I stayed there and then I moved back to Kandahar about a month before I left but I was at Ramrod. I mean I liked it at Ramrod. It was laid back. It was…it was easy, you know, doing mail. Mail is not difficult. It’s also like in the middle of nowhere. Literally, there was no city or town right outside.

JC: Were you guys taking a lot of…like in the area, were you taking a lot of incoming mortar fire or…?

DC: I took more incoming mortar fire from Kandahar than I did from Ramrod. We were only attacked a handful of times when I was on Ramrod. One of the perimeter guards would always get on the loudspeaker at night and chant “Here we go Ramrod, here we go” I used to wonder who would give him the mic.

JC: Oh, from Kandahar ok.

DC: Yeah. Kandahar got hit all the time. We were constantly getting hit and technically like the rules are you’re supposed to be able to get like the badges, the awards if you’re like within so many meters or whatever but that’s not even true. I mean like we…we’ve been so close to that stuff it’s crazy. I lived in a room that was surrounded by cement walls because the girl in there before me died from an attack. It doesn’t matter where you are at you can hear the incoming fire or incoming mortars, rockets whatever you like to call them.

JC: I think it also changed over a period from what I’ve heard as well like at one point there was something…awards and then eventually that changed where they had changed the stipulations on that, for at least for the Marine Corps. I don’t know about the Army.

DC: Well because everybody gets…there’s too many people that are getting hit and that are next to it and stuff so yeah, they changed it. They changed it for the Army too.

JC: Ok. So as far as...so you…you were having the sciatic nerve pain and you…you…. you get sent home. What was that process like?

DC: That was actually pretty cool process to actually see the way that like from the other end because I had done the casualty report so I knew the process but like you know like getting to Germany and stuff and LRMC like they’re so nice and every service member that comes through gets like a $500 gift card for the PX. I mean and I went with a girl that was me and her were like roommates. She had like broken her leg all up. I don’t know what she did. I think she was an 88 Mike and she got…

JC: That’s a truck driver?

DC: Yeah, she got like exploded or something so she like broke her leg so like me and her went shopping and stuff like that, so I mean being at LRMC was great. It was…it was fun like they try to take the war aspect out of it and they…it’s more like lighthearted and stuff. JC: What does that stand for?

DC: Landstuhl Regional Medical Center.

JC: Oh, ok in Germany ok so you were actually flown into Germany.

DC: Yeah, every casualty gets flown into Germany and they get assessed and everything before they’re flown to wherever they’re going in the States. And I think there’s three main places that they go to in the States. One is the one that’s in….

JC: Bethesda or Walter Reed? They’re combined now.

DC: Yeah and then there’s a Burn Unit…there’s a Burn Unit in Texas and then there’s…

JC: Balboa…Balboa Medical Center in San Diego.

DC: Yeah. But there’s certain things that like LRMC can do better than the United States like one of them is they have like the lung machine that they can completely shut off your lungs and the…it…it does…it puts the oxygen into your blood and so like if you get shot or something in your lungs, they need to heal. They can do that in Germany but that machine at that time was illegal in the United States and probably still is because it takes us forever. But like it depends like Germany it just depended on like the person and their injuries and stuff like that to be like…for me I think I was there for like two weeks or three weeks or something like that.

JC: Ok. Did you come across a lot of severely wounded service members or…?

DC: Not really. I mean the ones that are severely wounded, they don’t stay like we stayed in like a hotel type setting. Those ones like the ones that are severely wounded stay in like a hospital room, so we didn’t really see them a whole lot. When I was doing casualty reports I could go and visit them in Bagram and stuff but like most of them are on…they’re ventilated and stuff like that like most of them can’t talk. The nurses in Bagram would allow them to call their families if they could talk so that would be like a conflict whenever like we were sending out casualty reports because by the time we get it to the DA and then the DA goes and notifies the family, they already have the information because they had talked to the service member themselves so then like we would…I would just make a note on the casualty report. You know, “Service member called his spouse” or whoever because I think the first time that that happened the DA called me, and they were like “How did they already know this” and I was like “I don’t know.” They were saying that they talked to him so I went down to the hospital and I talked to the nurses and they were like “Yeah if they can talk, we’ll let them call” so. That does happen too. Getting off subject again.

JC: No, no not. So, you…you get back to the States, when did you finally leave the Army? Talk a little bit about that. DC: That was in 2012. I had done…I’d only enlisted for three or four years and then I had done an extension for the second deployment and I think there was like a six-month or one year extension but I came back and then I basically like did my getting out stuff. I don’t remember what that’s called.

JC: And we’ll talk more about, you know, what you’ve been up to and what you’re doing currently but let’s go back to something we talked about earlier at the beginning we talked about the…well we talked a little bit about the coverage of the war and thoughts on the war. Let’s talk a little bit about the media. Do you think that they were…I think you’ve kind of answered this in a way, but do you think they give an accurate portrayal of what’s going on?

DC: No. I used to follow CNN. CNN… it’s hard to find but CNN does have a casualty page where they keep the names of all the casualties and then they also put how they died like what caused their death or whatever and there’s a lot of them that they just like they’ll put IED and they burned to death or, you know A lot of what CNN does report is wrong. I’m not sure what it is that they are doing, but after my first deployment I have never trusted a word that CNN has said. I will never again follow them. To be sitting in Afghanistan and writing a casualty report and see the very same incident being reported wrong on CNN was devastating. I don’t know how they get away with doing that stuff, but I guess because of people like me who don’t know that they are being lied to.

JC: So, it’s wrong?

DC: Yeah, it’s… it’s very wrong and not every single one but most of them are surprising.

JC: I’m very familiar with it myself yeah.

DC: Yeah. And that was something where I was just like, you know, they don’t…not only do they don’t not know but they just sort of like report whatever.

JC: That’s interesting.

DC: And there’s a lot of things that they missed, you know, there’s…but there’s casualties that they don’t even, you know, like there was a guy who was seriously injured in Iraq. Whenever I was in Afghanistan doing casualty reports at that level, I had access to every Kyrgyzstan, Iraq, like I had access to every, every casualty report. There was a guy in Iraq I was reading through one night where he felt pressure in his penis, so he decided to cut it off and he cut it off with his Gerber.

JC: Oh my god. Wow.

DC: But yeah like I’m reading the casualty report and I’m like what did this guy do and then like seriously injured.

JC: Oh, my goodness. DC: But like from us like at our level we were like we were laughing about it which we shouldn’t have but we were laughing about it because we were like “Somebody has to notify the family.” Like could you imagine having to notify a family like…

JC: Like I can’t. Oh, my goodness.

DC: And keep a straight face.

JC: Yeah? Wow that’s…I thought I heard it all. Well let’s shift gears as far as how you’re doing. How do you…do you feel the…your time over there…I’m sure it’s changed you in some way or another, do you feel like changed at all whether it be for the worse or for the better? Talk a little bit about that.

DC: Coming back I think at first like you’re still like jumpy. I mean I’ve been on Elavil for some time now, so I’ve like I’ve calmed down a lot. The medication really does help but like I know at first I would get like…I would get like the combat rage thing like just even like if there would be like a motorcycle that drove by and I’d be like trying to kill the guy because, you know, like first of all the noise level of a motorcycle like when you come back from war like that’s like I couldn’t even deal with that. You relate the noise with an attack. So, you automatically feel like you are under attack.

JC: Yeah. So, you’ve dealt with the post-traumatic stress issues and what that brings with it.

DC: The VA says that it’s not because I was never in an explosion so it’s not PTSD. It can’t be PTSD, but I do have insomnia. It took the VA a few years, and recently did diagnose me with PTSD, on top of the insomnia and my disability rating is 70%

JC: But only you know…you know yourself. You know yourself better than they know you.

DC: Yeah but it’s…Yeah but I do have insomnia and stuff that’s why I take the Elavil which is also an anti-depressant which calms me down so that’s something because like my doctor would be like “Do you have road rage?”, “No I don’t have road rage.” I’m ready to kill people. I mean so that was something that like over time with the medication it definitely like gets better. I mean my knowledge like I think there’s definite pluses because there’s not a lot of people who understand just I mean even the culture, you know, like you learn a lot when you’re in a country like that or when you’re in Kuwait like I stayed in Kuwait for like a month trying to get back from RNR. It was like forever. My commander was pissed because it was in November so it was like Kuwait was having like sandstorms, Bagram was having ice storms, so like a plane couldn’t…so I’m like having this party in Kuwait like living it up. Like because Kuwait they have like McDonald’s and everything. Everything that you could want.

JC: Yeah, it’s crazy isn’t it? So, let’s talk a little bit more about your adjustment period with you being a mother and having kids that are growing up while you’re not physically there and then readjusting. Let’s just talk about how it was readjusting just to life and to civilian life for that matter. DC: Yeah readjusting I think is harder than anything because they don’t really…there’s no training for it first, you know. There’s nobody to really help you readjust into family life or I mean they can make you watch all the damn PowerPoints they want to make you watch it’s not going to help like when it comes down to like reintegrating back into a family and like a lot of times with a lot of people like families expect them to be the same as they were prior and that’s just not going to be the case no matter what. It’s like an unrealistic expectation. Civilian life is not trained back into you. So, you are trained to react to everything, and then thrown back into a household trying to react to everything. Or in my case at first, I was ignoring things that I should have reacted to. When I came home from my second deployment, my kids were still with my mom and my 2nd husband and I were painting the house prior to getting the furniture out of storage. A tornado was literally in my back yard in Fayetteville North Carolina and I didn’t think nothing of the noise. My husband said he thinks it’s a tornado and I said don’t worry about that, you are fine, keep painting. Only to lose electricity and the next day go outside and see all the damage.

JC: Yeah no that totally makes sense.

DC: Yeah it takes time. It’s definitely…it’s something that takes time. You sort of have to like just approach like things even it’s the kids like “Hey can I go here or there?” you know and you’re automatically you want to be like “No that’s not safe” but like you just have to be like, you know, “Ok yeah sure do it, do whatever.” I’ll last, I’ll deal with my own you know like crap that’s going. I mean and then especially like living on Fort Bragg I mean there are my neighbors like just shot themselves. I guess that the lady was cheating on the guy with his brother or something and he walked in on them and blows their both their heads off, you know, and I was sitting here like I live literally two houses down like you know. It’s just it’s…

JC: That’s affecting the people around you as well but then…

DC: Yeah it affects everybody.

JC: And then it affects…it affects… everybody is affected by it. Wow.

DC: And you don’t trust people as much, you know, I mean even after I came back like now that I’m in the civilian world, before my kids go to anybody’s houses like I need to…meet their parents, know where they live.

JC: Ok so that’s another change, yeah.

DC: Yeah that’s a change.

JC: So as far as veterans go, what do you think about the average civilian? What would you tell them about veterans? It could be good, bad. And obviously every veteran’s different.

DC: I don’t know. Yeah, I mean…

JC: What would you tell them about yourself as a veteran? DC: I don’t know because I don’t really…I don’t really open to people.

JC: You don’t? Ok. No that’s…you’re being perfectly honest.

DC: I mean I’ve told you things that I’ve not even told my husband, so he’ll watch the video.

JC: Sure, no that’s…so you don’t…so your kind of just leave it alone?

DC: Yeah because a lot of it people don’t understand and especially like there’s been times that I’ve said things like two examples. One, so in Afghanistan the people they have I guess the men but they have these wooden clubs that sort of looks like Fred Flintstone’s club and I was working in the post office and like they use them because they’re not allowed to get a divorce so if they want to find a different wife or whatever they bludgeon their wife to death and that’s how they…ok but saying something like to a regular civilian out of nowhere regardless, you know, they’re looking at me and their mouths are hanging open like you know…

JC: They’re in shock.

DC: Yes exactly.

JC: You tell a veteran this…

DC: Like but when I was working at the post office a guy had brought one in and I was like, you know, it really smelled horrible. I mean their smell to begin with is horrible because they don’t shower but it just it smelled horrible and I mean I let him mail it home although I shouldn’t have because it was a war trophy so don’t tell the post office. But then, you know, things like that like and I did because I had…I was at work and I clean houses. I work for Merry Maids so I was at a customer’s house and she had gone to Africa and she had a club like all decorated hanging on her wall I was like I took one look at it and I was like you know what that reminds me of and I like I told her the whole story and they’re looking at me like, you know, like “What?” like…

JC: So, you felt like maybe you felt disconnected from them.

DC: Yes, because regular people don’t know that, and I didn’t know anything like that prior to joining. I mean you talk about a third world country but like you don’t talk about a country that, you know, does things like that and I think one of the locals said it to me really good because he said during my first deployment that their laws are based around their religion whereas like our laws are based or originally based around religion so, you know, that’s why they do things that they do and they have like but I never knew anything about their religion so.

JC: Sharia law.

DC: Yeah like I never knew anything about their laws so I didn’t and I think a lot of the village…the villages like break the laws too but they don’t really…there’s nobody there, you know, there are literally like in the middle of nowhere. Who’s there to stop them from breaking the law? And even like the Afghan National Army and the police and stuff they don’t even know how to read, they don’t know how to write, they don’t know how to do jumping jacks, like they don’t know how to do anything like how are they, you know, it’s…you can’t explain things like that to people who are not veterans.

JC: So, you feel like you can connect better with a veteran than you can with maybe a civilian especially when it comes to talking about things.

DC: Oh. Because they understand like I’m not, you know, you’re not standing here like shocked.

JC: No, not one bit. So that makes you more comfortable to know that the….ok.

DC: My boss one day he was talking about like his bathroom window being too big or something and I was like “Well in Bagram they have to like paint the bathroom windows because the guys will be outside with their night vision looking in” and stuff and they’re all like “Well we never thought about that.”

JC: Yeah, sure, there’s a lot of things to think about I’m sure. So…once again shifting gears, have you used the VA and so what has your experience been like?

DC: Yes. I actually had an ok experience with the VA because I’m a woman so they have, you know, it’s just like in the military like have to have a woman doctor and everything else but, you know, there’s less of a wait I think for women.

JC: Ok well that’s good.

DC: And then also they enjoy seeing a woman at the VA so, you know, like when I do go like I get a lot of stares, there’s a lot of men in the VA, but I mean it’s nothing different then like being deployed or anything else.

JC: Does that make you uncomfortable or are you just used to it?

DC: I’m used to it I mean it…there was a…I just had an injection not too long ago and there was a lady like when I was being wheeled out of the injection and she was like “Hi how are you” and I’m looking at her like “Who the fuck is this?” and she was like “We never get to see a woman” and she was like so excited. She was like you know “I’m glad you’re here” and I was just like “Oh ok” because at first I was like “I don’t know who this is. Why is she talking to me?”

JC: You’re on the smaller population as far as it’s definitely a male dominated society.

DC: Exactly but I mean as far as like appointments and stuff go like I haven’t had any like ridiculously long waits or anything like that and I think that a lot of it is because I’m a woman so they have like different doctors and stuff and there are not a lot of women so.

JC: Ok one more question and I kinda want to just ask a little bit about since you’ve gotten out till now, what you’ve been doing. But as far as the way you’ve been treated as far as from your country the United States, do you feel like you’ve been treated well? Especially compared to maybe other generations.

DC: I feel like we’ve been treated better than other generations but I don’t feel like we’ve been treated exceptionally well or anything like there’s a lot more I think help for veterans that could be, you know, I know they’re doing a lot for like the homeless veterans but that’s a start but it’s definitely not enough because a lot of these people they do…they sacrifice everything. They lose arms, legs, finger, their lives. We come back from these deployments and we are scarred. Mentally just as much or more than physically.

JC: Loved ones, yeah.

DC: Yeah like and there’s nothing that…that after like the insurance and stuff there’s nothing for people, you know, like there’s no help. There’s a lot of veterans like I know, like obviously we’re going to college and stuff but there’s a lot of veterans who can’t or who aren’t ready like they just don’t have, they lack the help.

JC: Yeah, they don’t even know where to start. Is that what you’re saying?

DC: Well yeah and like what about the veterans who like can’t pay their bills, but they’re not disabled? I mean if I come to a point where I like can’t pay my bills, there’s help because I’m sixty percent disabled. So but like it’s harder for me to find help than it would be for somebody who like lost a leg or something but then for the people who aren’t as disabled as me, they’re still veterans, they still…or there’s some people that don’t want to go through the disability. I don’t know why but they don’t want to do that so they could be disabled, and they just don’t know it.

JC: Maybe they’re scared to go through the process or maybe they’re just…don’t have it in them.

DC: Actually, there’s a couple that I met here that just didn’t…they were like no I didn’t do that, and they don’t realize that like I mean, you know, I…thirty percent rating just for insomnia. Like it’s bad insomnia I deal with. It’s a fight everyday but like, you know, I mean it’s…it’s better than nothing, you know, it’s helpful that the medication and then the money that they give you like it helps.

JC: Yeah. Sure. So as far as you…so from the time you got out, you got out in 2012, and till now, if you could just talk a little bit about that, what you’ve been doing and obviously I know a little bit but just maybe…

DC: Well so I’ve been in college. I got out in 2012. I think I took like two months off and then I enrolled in CCAC and then from there, transferred to RMU. Now that was another thing that I didn’t really know the G.I. Bill worked and nobody told me. Had I known that it wasn’t like a tuition issue and that it was like, you know, semester or hours or a time limit, I probably would have just started here. Yeah but like that’s another thing, like nobody really explained it to you and they, when they do the out-briefings they try to explain it to you but who knows what kind of Chinese they’re speaking when they say like…you know what I mean? Like it’s like transferring and I did government paperwork so I know like so but if I can’t understand it then how the heck is anyone else? You know? So I feel like a lot of veterans get screwed over that way because like I probably could have gotten a Master’s had I not spent, you know, three years in CCAC doing nothing like, you know like that’s kind of like frustrating so I know other veterans have to be frustrated with it because, you know, CCAC isn’t going to tell you, you know, “Hey if you’re planning on going to RMU, you should probably start there” you know?

JC: Yeah? So, what are you going for here at Robert Morris?

DC: Finance.

JC: So, you’re going for finance and how close are you to, to being finished?

DC: This should be my last semester hopefully, if I pass International Finance. I don’t know how that’s going.

JC: Yeah? So, you’re...you’re on the downward slope. So, what’s your plans as far as the future goes? I mean you obviously have some children; you’ve been…you said you’re married now. So, how’s that?

[00:59:42]

DC: I don’t know because I really haven’t even…like I haven’t even…I figured when I…once I graduate, I’ll look for a job and because I don’t really want to stay in Pennsylvania. I don’t really like the snow. You know, I mean my family’s here so it’s not like, you know, I wouldn’t stay here but I guess it’s going to depend on what kind of job I’m offered. You what I mean? Like…

12/7/2018 (Being graduated from RMU for over a year now, I am currently working at the VA but in looking for a job it was very hard for me. There’s this overwhelming feeling that nothing I do is important enough, or enough. I think I resonated more with the “survivors’ guilt” when I was looking for a job and it took about 4 months after graduation. I interviewed for Comcast. I didn’t feel like comcast was meaningful –

It’s hard to capture the feelings and put them into words here.

I applied for finance jobs, when the interview would come around it would be geared around selling financial assets to people and again, I felt that was meaningless. Like I wouldn’t be making a difference. So, I started to gear my search around corporate finance, which was my favorite subject in college. Still nothing was coming up. I ended up getting a job in human resources in the VA. I recently got a promotion working under the chief of staff’s office.)

JC: So, you’re open to whatever, to many different things. That’s good.

DC: Yeah. Yeah and I haven’t like bought a house or anything like that, so I don’t…you know what I mean? Like I can move if that’s necessary. I don’t mind moving away from my family. I’m not like a social butterfly, I guess. So, I can be alone by myself. I don’t care. I’m happy.

JC: Ok so you’re kids you said 2001 and 2004 so that’s fifteen and twelve oks. What’s that like?

DC: Well my son’s twelve and he’s a lot…a lot easier than my daughter. My daughter is very difficult. She’s a teenager so she’s very difficult. It’s difficult.

JC: How is it as far as like the…what do they…you said you don’t talk to your husband much about…do they much about what’s gone on as far as your time in Afghanistan?

DC: Not really. Not even training. I mean, you know, simple things like they teach you like self- defense and stuff. I mean my daughter has tried to learn the choke hold and things like that which she’s doing it wrong but I don’t tell her she’s doing it wrong because she doesn’t have a discipline to be able, or the knowledge you know, even she knocks someone out like what do you do next? She doesn’t so I don’t teach them stuff like that even though they want to know. They do know about the deployments, so they know a little bit like about what I did but they don’t know any like real details.

JC: So, like surface level.

DC: Yeah, I figure like when they get older maybe I’ll tell them but my son I think is more interested in it than my daughter and my son….

JC: He’s the younger or the older?

DC: He is younger and he thinks like he actually thinks about things you know like when you explain something because he’ll ask questions and stuff so like he’ll probably know a lot more than her about everything just because like the way he thinks and stuff and he is not like dramatic and emotional and stuff whereas she is like crazy emotional.

JC: Yeah well, she’s fifteen.

DC: Yeah so but they don’t really know anything now except that I was deployed, and I lived in a computer.

JC: Well that’s all the questions that I have for you. I think you’ve already addressed that you have maybe some pictures that you’d like to share so feel free.

DC: I do. I have a picture with Robert Gates. JC: Oh yeah, the Secretary of Defense.

DC: Yes during my first deployment he came over and one of the things that he would do being that he’s a…like the top of the food chain is he wanted to speak to people at the bottom of the food chain and I… he sent me a letter too but for some reason like my mom has it framed. I keep meaning to get a picture of it but like he would have lunch with like a few like privates or specialists like lower on the food chain and it was probably some of the best food that I’ve ever eaten in the middle of Afghanistan but like we just explained to him I think I…one of the issues that I brought up was the fact that like they always put limits on the PX on that they like can only buy two tubes of toothpaste or whatever so what about these guys that are coming in to Bagram, going out to the middle of nowhere, and they can only buy two tubes of toothpaste like and they have no PX, they have no access to nothing. That was one of my major issues because like doing casualty reports and stuff I would talk to the task force and like be able to like, you know, get information from them about like what’s going on in their lives, what they’re going through and stuff. So like I tried to bring that up to like his attention but I do have a picture with him and I have like random pictures of like, you know, like the B-Huts flooded and stuff like that where there’s like water floating everywhere and I mean those you can Google. I don’t have any pictures of the JOC, and I tried to look it up on Google. I couldn’t find any pictures.

JC: You probably won’t be able to find anything. Well feel free to share those, you know, email me those and then we’d love to have those so well if you don’t have anything else for me, I think that wraps up everything.

DC: I don’t think so. If you have any other questions though….

JC: Thank you for doing the interview and thank you for your service.

DC: You’re welcome. Thank you. Thank you for your service.

JC: And thank you and this concludes our interview.

[1:04:20]

Support for the Iraq/Afghanistan Veterans Project provided by the Jacob Ferree Chapter of the National Society of the Daughters of the American Revolution.