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3-28-2006 2006 Highlander Vol 88 No 22 March 28, 2006

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The Jesuit University of the Rockies www.RegisHighlander.com Denver, Colorado Mathematics majors Nobel Laureate Lech Walesa speaks develop pattern in the Field House recognition system Chris Dieterich Erica Easter Editor-in-Chief Staff Reporter

"Radishes." That's what former This past summer, senior mathemat­ President of Poland Lech Walesa ics major, Michael Uhrig, and junior called members of Poland's mathematics and chemistry double Communist Party last Friday evening major, Anthony Giordano, spent their as Regis hosted the former Polish days calculating. But, unlike the president and Nobel Peace Prize everyday calculations involved in fig­ Laureate in the Field House. "They uring out a tip or balancing a check­ were red on the outside, but white on book, Uhrig and Giordiano spent the inside." countless hours in a lab, programming One needs a sense of humor, it what would become a working "pattern would seem, to stare down the Soviet recognition" system. juggernaut-and win. In 1980, Walesa In layman's terms," pattern recogni­ scaled the walls of the Gdansk ship­ tion" involves inputting images and yard to lead a strike and later the patterns, like faces, into a computer. Solidarity labor union, which spread Each pixel in an image corresponds to throughout Poland and into surround­ a specific number because when a ing Soviet satellite states as a larger Photo by Joshua Hardin computer stores pictures, it does so as anti-communist movement. Walesa a series of numbers. was imprisoned for eleven months for Former Polish President Lech Walesa speaks in front of a crowded Regis Dr. James Seibert, assistant profes­ his role in the movement. This act of Field House. Walesa is the twelfth Nobel Laureate to speak at Regis in sor of mathematics, explains that pat­ defiance against a bankrupt political seven years. tern recognition has countless practi­ system is singled out by historian more sustainable future. teacher and providing a platform for cal applications in a variety of fields, Walter Lafeber (and others) as one of Walesa eagerly addressed a myriad the world." He stressed that reforming such as: "law enforcement with the the catalytic events which eventually of issues, including his leadership of global governance institutions is criti­ use of mug shots and identifying peo­ unraveled the Soviet Union the Solidarity movement, the impor­ cal to maintaining a stable world. ple; biological, for identifying mam­ But Friday night, a gregarious tance of Catholic spirituality in his life, Additionally, Walesa urged the audi­ mals by their 'fingerprint,' like a whale Walesa spliced numerous jokes into a developing a values-oriented political ence to reconsider libertarian notions tail; or in homeland security for identi­ speech dominated by themes of opti­ system, and the role of the United of freedom for markets, trade and indi­ fying terrorists in airports." mism in the face of a changing world. States as global hegemon. vidual rights in favor of more value-ori­ Working with complex numbers like For Walesa, the United States stands On the latter points, Walesa noted ented decision-making structures, "We this is hardly a simple task. On the on a precipice as the remaining world to the audience the US is not thought need to focus on educating individuals contrary, Seibert believes that such superpower: for the next generation to of highly abroad at present, but was of conscience. This is how the work requires comprehension of "mas­ continue its present course means fac­ thought of as a beacon of freedom not Solidarity movement was born." ter-level mathematics." These young ing growing indignation, but if the U.S. long ago: "Leadership doesn't mean The format of the event allowed for mathematicians from Regis focused replacing governments, or policing the remembers itself as a symbol of hope See Walesa on page two their entire research project on con­ in a turbulent world, there can be a world; Leadership means being the quering this cybernetic quandary. I Inspired by a friend's lecture on pat­ tern recognition, Seibert thought that Electronics go missing in residence halls Giordano and Uhrig were the perfect candidates for such an arduous under­ hopeful that at least some of the miss­ Alyse Warner Exact figures were unavailable, but taking. When Dr. Seibert approached ing electronics might make a midnight Staff Reporter similar thefts have also occurred in the two yoCJng men about the summer reappearance. According to DeSmet Hall. Each DVD player costs research project, he says that they Residence Life Coordinator, Brent Recently Residence Life has been about $60, and finding the funds to were, "excited from the beginning." Waller, Residence Life is looking into forced to deal an increase in electron­ replace these electronics is difficult. For an entire summer Uhrig and new ways of securing the electronics ics thefts within campus housing. Now the Office of Residence Life is Giordano met at least three times a to prevent further thefts, including con­ Although incidents of theft have faced with the challenge of adopting week to work on their project. The duo tacting other Jesuit universities to see occurred in the past, this year the stricter policies in hopes of deterring used a program called MATLAB to how they are handling similar prob­ problem has expanded into a major theft. make the calculations, but not before headache. According to the Student Handbook, lems. they strained to make the complex Waller noted, "The loss of electron­ DVD players, VCRs and cable cords any student who is found to be guilty of computations of linear algebraic prob­ ics constrains budgets, and leaves have all been disappearing from the theft can expect anything from a warn­ lems. According to Uhrig and those residents who are innocent of residence halls at an alarming rate. ing to suspension, or possible expul­ Giordano, "We had to do the math the thefts out in the cold when it comes According to Katherine Mahoney, sion, depending on their previous before we did the programming for the to enjoying a movie in their common Residence Life Coordinator in offenses. Several wing and hall meet­ system, and we had to figure out the O'Connell Hall, seven DVD players ings have been held in DeSmet and lounges." and approximately two VCRs have O'Connell on the subject of the missing See Math on page two been stolen in O'Connell this year. electronics, and Residence Life is

j Tuesday, March 2S, 2 Highlander News 2006

ing things for math students to learn to Walesa from front page Math from front page without glasses, contorted facial ---­ do." Giordano says, "It was a lot of fun. expressions, and head tilts to see what [It] was an excellent learnin~ expe~i­ the impact would be on the computer's members of the audience to a k program before we could do the math." ence ." He is also expanding this ability to recognize global patterns. tions, something which Wa1e!a Que~­ After they established a series of research into the field of chemistry and These images were entered into the cated approximately half of his taded,. computations, they used proofs to ver­ hopes to use pattern recognition to doing. lk to database to serve as a basis for com­ ify that their math was accurate. Next, identify different chemical compounds parison. Once an outside image is put Walesa's Catholic faith and h.1 they programmed the computations in because he asserts, "I am more of a into the program, the system uses the tionship with Pope John Paul 1~ rela­ MATLAB, which formed the foundation pictures in the database, called eigen­ chemistry person." very much on the minds of the Wer~ of the system that they built, . d audi- faces, to match the series of numbers ence. He men t1one the Pope's .. After programming the system, the . h t ,. v1s1tto and recognize the pattern. Uhrig and The two researchers have submitted h1s ome coun ry awoke" the P r two obtained four to five headshots Giordano said, "The system was 97 their paper to the Rose-Hu/man people and galvanized them ag o_,sh each from sixty-five different people to st percent accurate in determining the Undergraduate Mathematics Journal the tremendous odds, "There a,n create the system database, eventual­ correct image." for potential publishing. Nevertheless, 200,000 Soviet soldiers in Polandw~e ly settling on two shots per person, When asked about the experience, the two remain humble about their world leader believed we could d~ ·t ~ forming a total of one hundred and thir­ Uhrig replied, "The math that we were accomplishments, citing that it "was adding, "But I only fear God. 1 ne~~r ty images. doing was rather difficult specifically, not that big of a deal." However, what had any doubts. Today, I wonder ho To further the accuracy of the pattern 1 it really helped us practice writing they did was no small feat, and in fact, mad~ the ?ecisions I made and recognition system, they requested :n proofs, which [one] of the most annoy- according to Dr. Seibert, "amazing." convinced 1t was my faith. How el their subjects take pictures with and without a single shot, without force?~e Internships offer a !he sp~ech ended with Walesa Speaker brings up possibility for a greater offering advise to future Regis gradu­ role for women in the Catholic Church chance for real ate: "Don't let tomorrow come and your children say, 'where were you Jacqueline Kharouf ther implies jurisdiction, neither implies what did you do with the world, wh~ Staff Reporter governance [ ] for women." experience did you vote for?' Don't waste your And while women have been exempt chance." This past Thursday, Phyllis Zagano, from filling governance positions due on the job Earlier that day at the formal press a visiting professor of Roman Catholic to the exclusive language of this docu­ conference, Walesa addressed why Studies at Yale Divinity School last fall, ment and Canon 129, which states Andrea Silva his lecture tour was important to him spoke to a crowded Science that lay persons, such as women, can Senior Reporter "I helped end divisions, but I failed t~ Amphitheater on the topic "The only cooperate in the exercise of the help create new platforms. I wish now Catholic Church: What's a Woman to power of jurisdiction, Zagano explains Accounting and Business majors to appeal to the masses and the youth Do?" that Benedict XVI has the power to cir­ have it easy. Finding an internship tai­ in order to accomplish something Beginning with the maxim, "The duty cumvent those restrictions. "The only lored to one of these fields is quite self­ where I have so far failed. of every good interpreter is to contem­ way Benedict can technically include explanatory: accounting firm for the The event was co-sponsored by the plate not the words, but the sense of women in governance and ministry, accounting major; business for the Regis University Institute for the the words," Zagano addressed the the only way he can split the differ­ business major. But what about stu­ Common Good and Denver's ABC issue of the role of women in the ence, is by ordaining them," Zagano dents majoring in Philosophy, Art, affiliate, Channel 7. Church. This issue was recently said, "And the only way he can ordain History, and English? Are they as out them is by restoring women to the brought to light in Rome, where a of luck for internships, not to mention ordained diaconate. And he can do young priest, named Don Marco future employment, as it may seem? that." Quite the contrary, says Lynne aged to participate in internships This tradition of ordained female Montrose, Director of the Academic because they do provide invaluable ministers was once a part of the Internship Program. According experience in professional settings. Catholic Church, Zagano said, and Montrose, internship opportunities Such experience is also useful to that tradition is still carried today by abound for students of all majors, future employers as well. According to sister churches of the Catholic Church, especially because of Regis' small Montrose, employers will look for such as the Armenian Apostolic size and Jfhus individualif ed assis- "what makes you stand out" and "your Church. tance. V l ability to move beyond just a typical "Given that the sister churches of ,r Internships count for three academ­ college experience of being in a class­ the Catholic Church are ordaining ic credits that can fulfill three credits of room." When students list intern expe­ women in their traditions it would seem a major's course requirements. rience on a resume, "I think people obvious that the Catholic Church could Faculty sponsors are designated for look at that and think, 'That's a person do the same," she said. each major to facilitate the course pro­ who has initiative, that's a person Ministry, Zagano went on to explain, visions, which vary amongst majors. who's really focused on their future'" is works of charity and love. Zagano Montrose says that internships are says Montrose. Photo by Jacqueline Kharouf defined charity according to Pope Internships can be helpful for open­ Benedict who said that "the duty of more than just gaining work experi­ ence; they're about integrating one's ing the door to other valuable opportu­ Valentini, asked Pope Benedict XVI on charity is a responsibility incumbent own career interests in relation to nities. Senior Peter Ferrell's interest in the inclusion of women in the gover­ upon the whole Church and upon each one's major. "We interview each stu­ homeland security directed him nance and ministry of the Church. bishop in his diocese." dent individually," she commented. towards an internship at the National According to Zagano, the Pope's The ability of a bishop to expand the "We really work with them to try to find Conference of State Legislatures this reply mentioned the historical impor­ works of charity in his diocese can be out what they want to do after they semester. Reportedly, his exemplary tance of women in the Church and the readily accomplished by women, graduate, and how can we use this work is now sending him to definite need to address the question Zagano said, who can act as ministers internship strategically to get them in Washington D.C. to deliver a paper. of female ministry and places of to the sick, poor, and abandoned. that right direction." Other students have found post-gradu­ responsibility which women can occu­ To emphasize her claim that women E_rin Lantz, Administrative Assistant ation employment through their intern­ py. can facilitate as ministers of charity, ships, like recent graduates Sarah Working from this event, Zagano Zagano said, "I do not think it far­ of the Academic Internship Program, affi_rms tha! at _Regis, the primary goal Vigil at John Atencio Jewlers and explained that Benedict clearly identi­ fetched to surmise that given Geoff Brokx at the Tennyson Center fied two important factors which deter­ Benedict's understanding of the cur­ of intern~h1ps 1s to test possible ways mine the role of women in the Church, rent situation of the Church and in the of applying one's aspirations to a for Children. So, what to do about internships for that is, ministry and governance. world that he, Benedict, will choose to car~er. "I think it's less about your those Philosophy majors? Because "Technically speaking each requires revive a female diaconate sooner maJor and more about what your Montrose and Lantz encourage stu­ ordination," she said, "but not neces­ rather than later." drea°: job would be. What are you dents to consider what they love abo~t sarily priestly ordination." Zagano believes that women have really_ interested in doing? What would their major, plenty of unique opportuni­ Governance, Zagano explained, is a the ability to take on more roles of gov­ you_ like your days to look like? and nd term for Catholic law. The power of ernance and ministry in the Church fi in~ a way to incorporate that inter­ ties arise. Montrose gave the ..examP!e g ,n est with the major." governance, she said, is vested, not and that the only way that this can o~ one student double maJ~rin d with the lay people of the Church, happen is if the Church ordains . Furth~rmore, Lantz emphasizes that Biology and Philosophy who intern~ 1ntern~h1ps allow students to explore at the Governor's Commission for Life which includes both women and men, women, which it has the power to do. th pot~nt1al a potential profession without and Death Issues. There's also Ma but with the clergy. "It would seem that the sense of th "Canon Law clearly holds that Benedict's words and his own sense of having to commit to it. "It's just a one major Rebecca Crepin who is at e women cannot participate in gover­ history will eventually, if not immedi­ se~ester commitment, it's not like it's Colorado Health Institute this s~m_es~ going_to be your life. You can get in ter, gaining experience in stati5tica nance," she said. ately, enhance the Church's perspec­ .d "I care However, in a statement issued by tives of both ministry and governance ~~ere, you can try and test it out, see if analysis. As Montrose sa1 , d the American bishops in 1994, called by the restoration of the female dia­ 1t s something you really do like. Or, much more about the student an t "Strengthening the Bonds of Peace," conate to the Catholic Church," she you ~ay decide after that experience what they want to do than I am aboU5 women can be involved in governance said. ~hat its ~ot, which is fine. Any of that 'you have this major so that define through consultation and cooperation. ~nformat1on as you are moving forward you as far as your internship.'" Highlander online exclusive: Zagano explained that while these in your career planning is going to be Read Phyllis Zaganors editorial helpful." may appear good, "neither implies published in the newspaper Newsday authority, neither implies power, nei- In addition to trying out different on March 20, 2006. career avenues, students are encour- r { Tuesday, March 28, 2006 Opinion Highlander 3

Contact the Highlander Ballots in Israel 3333 Regis Blvd, Mail Stop 1-8 Providing the leadership that globalism March 28 is Election Day in Israel. Denver, CO 80221 Reuters reports that whoever wins demands Israel's general election, the new gov­ ernment will likely continue with the Our Mission: will limit the AFL-CIO's political clout free-market reforms that helped res­ As the staff of the Regis University and many criticized the departure, but cue the economy from recession and weekly publication, the Highlander, Having Lech SEIU President Andrew Stern defend­ enticed more foreign investment. we intend to serve the campus and Walesa, the for­ ed his decision this summer saying, Ehud Olmert has been the acting the neighborhood by providing an mer President of "Our world has changed, our economy Prime Minister of Israel since January outlet for the transmission of news Poland and the has changed, employers have 4, 2006 when Prime Minister Sharon and ideas. Our publication is 1983 Nobel changed. But the AFL-CIO is not will­ suffered a hemorrhagic stroke. He designed to cultivate awareness, Peace Prize ing to make fundamental change." Justin Goldman played a critical role in his support for understanding and dialogue about recipient speak . . . With only 8 percent of private sector Prime Minister Sharon to unilaterally matters of community importance. at our campus, Opm,on Editor workers unionized and a political envi­ disengage from the Gaza Strip and for provided much food for thought this ronment in which the majority is hostile the breakaway from the Likud in order Editor-in-Chief past Friday, March 24. President to their demands, organized labor is to form the centrist Kadima party. The Chris Dieterich Walesa was very blunt in his remarks, struggling. If it is to reinvent itself, it decision to withdrawal from Gaza is a which should come as no surprise will be a tremendously uphill battle. dramatic evolution as Sharon had pre­ Associate Editor when one assesses what he has vious been known as the "father of the Thriving manufacturer Justin Parnell accomplished in life. The leader of the settlement movement." With Hamas "Solidarity" movement played a critical in the heartland securing a majority in the January 25th Twenty years ago, Caterpillar Inc. Opinion Editor role in the defeat of communism. Palestinian elections the world has President Walesa has set out on his faced the problems Detroit is now fac­ been watching to see how the dynam­ Justin Goldman current speaking engagements across ing, primarily the competition from ics of the conflict would evolve. Ehud America to inspire people, particularly Japan. Caterpillar is an amazing suc­ Olmert became the Finance Minister Feature Editor & the young, to be part of building the cess story for a Midwest manufactur­ when his current political rival Distribution Manager 21st century world they envision. ing company. The company is head­ Benjamin Netanyahu resigned in Alyse Warner President Walesa addressed the quartered in Peoria, IL and according protest of the proposed withdrawal position of the United States in the to their website, "With 2005 sales and from Gaza in August 2005. Netanyahu Online Editors world and the role of the sole super­ revenues of $36.34 billion, Caterpillar is leading the conservative Likud Party is a technology leader and the world's C.J. Kummer power. Mr. Walesa was sharp in his which is expected to run third behind leading manufacturer of construction Zach Owens criticism of the current U.S. role in the Kadima and Labor. world. "Right now, there is no and mining equipment, diesel and nat­ Scott Wilson reports that as a young ural gas engines and industrial gas tur­ Sports Editor American leadership in the world," and MK (Member of Knesset) Olmert voted he went on to say, "The image of the bines." Forbes Magazine reported the Erica Easter against the 1978 Camp David Peace U.S. right now is the worst possible, problems reached a crisis stage in Accords that called for the withdrawal this is to the great unhappiness of the 1984, when Caterpillar was losing a Spotlight Editor from Sinai. When he took the post of whole world." President Walesa was million dollars a day. They began Finance Minister he acknowledged the Jacqueline Kharouf very impressive on assessing the need spreading their manufacturing base evolution of his views. The to have structures for the current era of into nonunion regions of the southern Washington Post reports that he said, Senior Reporter globalization. He advanced the con­ U.S., building 20 smaller, more spe­ "I voted against Menachem Begin. I Andrea Silva cepts of democracy and free-market cialized factories, with lower wage told him it was a historic mistake, how economics, but stated how the world rates, to feed components into the dangerous it would be, and so on and Copy Editors needs to debate what the appropriate larger assembly plants. so on. Now I am sorry he is not alive Maricor Coquia systems are for the 21st century. His Current Chief Executive Officer Jim for me to be able to publicly recognize Lauren Wojtko advice to evolve or become less rele­ Owens served as the Chief Financial his wisdom and my mistake. He was vant is a concept that really resonates Officer during the unrest. He told right and I was wrong. Thank God we Layout Design in disputes between labor and man­ Forbes, "In the 1990s we had two pulled out of the Sinai." Mr. Sharon choices: We could either close all of Amelia Noyes agement in the American auto industry. was once known as the architect of Hearing this concept from a renowned our Midwestern plants and gradually settlements and he came to the con­ move out of this country. Or we could Photography Editor labor leader led to thoughts about the clusion that th'e best interests of Israel current situation facing Detroit. move some of our facilities out of were served by disengagement from Graham Hunt harm's way and into more competitive Gaza. Mr. Olmert is working to carry American auto industry struggles parts of the country. We chose to try to out his vision. Israel has adapted j General Motors is facing hard deci­ preserve our manufacturing base in With vast criticism for the Bush Staff Reporters sions as the American auto industry the U.S." Caterpillar's workforce has Administration's vision on the three­ Jami Bonifas confronts a distressing reality. climbed 23 percent in the past two year mark of the Iraq War, a former Maricor Coquia Prompted by steep annual losses in its years to 85,000. Caterpillar continues Democratic Senator has made signifi­ Erica Easter North American auto operations, GM to build the world's infrastructure with cant efforts assess the current chal­ Tammy Hackfort announced the bankruptcy filing of the Associated Press reporting on lenges and offer potential ·solutions. March 24 that Turkmenistan signed a Taylor Goodson Delphi, its former parts division. The US $30 million contract with Caterpillar Marlena Hargrove Washington Post reports that GM for earth moving equipment. Lindsay Viall would offer between $70,000 and Alyse Warner $140,000 to employees to walk out the Lauren Wojtko door with nothing more than their lunch buckets and their accrued pension benefits. These workers are hourly Staff Columnist wage earning members of United Auto Workers (UAW). Dee-Ann Durbin of by Jacqueline Kharouf Phillip Sparer the Associated Press writes GM is offering buyouts to 113,000 U.S. hourly Advertising Managers workers as part of its goal of cutting Caroline Herter 30,000 jobs by 2008. CarrieAnna Cordova This action will likely further weaken the struggling labor movement in the Faculty Adviser United States. The Associated Press Mary Beth Callie, Ph.D. reports that many analysts predict sim­ ilar buyouts at Ford Motor Co. and at auto suppliers who are struggling with the same high costs, fierce competition Our policies regarding and overcapacity that plagues GM. submissions and editorials from This past summer the AFL-CIO met in the community: Chicago and its unity was fractured. Led by the Service Employees Submissions are encouraged from our International Union (SEIU) and the readers. Email submissions to International Brotherhood of the [email protected] by 5:00 p.m. Teamsters, the Change to Win coali­ every Wednesday .tor consi.deration. All tion was created to bring labor into the submissions will be reviewed to . ensure suitability of content and ~~ahty 21st century. ~ ~ tv.Mv.\ lA.ous Seo.. ot The Change to Win coalition sup- of thought. Editorials are the opinions Re. i ~.\ ro.\.ion ke.e..p o.n e...ye. ov..+- h>r of the author, and therefore may n~t ports workers right to a ~nion and col­ 1 necessarily reflect the views of Regis lective bargaining; the nght to afford­ +J~ s ~oft- ~"'cl ""' '"ol .\-hos t.. ~\~'JS University or the Highlander. able, quality health care; and the ~i~ht to retirement security. The transition Tuesday, March 28, 2006 ------=------4 Highlander Opinion for Fair Trade and other traditionally asking if we ought not to live informed and responsible coffee t as Percolating pressures for Fair Trade on "Jesuit social justice issues." The . d b , ea result was a renewed need to connect cocoa, nee an anana consumers~ college campuses the 28 Jesuit schools through the How does each coffee or cocoa be · lgnatian Solidarity Network, a networ~ picker working for non-Fair Trade ce~~1 Ashly Blincow Johnson Shabazz on anti-oppression. that has historically connected Jesuit tied plantations subsist while feedi • Contributing Writer Kristi Schaefer applauded the conver­ _their family? Do they wait mont~~ gence, "I think it [the convergence] universities at the SOA protest during the lgnatian Family Teach-in and dur­ before they are finally paid because of In the Highlander article "The chal­ was really admirable. You could tell ing lobbying rallies in Washington. a lucky bull market? Do we support lenge of sustained advocacy: sweat­ they were not just talking about it; they We compiled this list of social jus­ the Fair Trade beans that produ free college campuses" published were trying to live by the standards tice issues most pressing for Jesuit some of the highest quality speciafy February 14, contributing reporter they were asking others to live by. schools to address in survey form to coffees in the world? Where is the Christine Pleban explored why there They made sure that their means in send out to all Jesuit campuses: Sweat $0.80 for the banana we purchase in are currently no student groups on Free (designated suppliers program), the grille going? Regis sends an campus "dedicated to promoting I propose that we ought Living Wage for custodial staff, annual delegation of students to socially responsible and environmen­ SOA/WHINSEC protest, Fair Trade, Ghana, Africa to build libraries yet do tally sustainable production." Although to be living "value-cen­ STAND (Students Taking Action Now: we consume the products of African one existed at Regis between 2000- tered" lives as students, Darfur) and environmental justice. Our slave cocoa plantations? Or do we 02, it fizzled out once those students faculty, and staff. I hope is to create open communication support the richest, most pure cocoa graduated. lines and together, live the Jesuit val­ from Fair Trade chocolate companies Coincidentally, three days later four propose that we wear ues written in each of our mission like Catholic Relief Services', Divine Regis students: Jacqueline Davis, sweat free Regis statements. In response to strong Chocolate Company? Graham Hunt, Kristi Schaefer and University sweatshirts with desires from other Jesuit campuses These are the burning questions that myself, sponsored by Regis, attended I can answer theoretically. My search the 3rd Annual United Students for Fair pride knowing that the the lgnatian Solidarity Network recent­ ly created a student caucus, uniting continues for the tangible answers to Trade International Convergence at institution named on that these questions as I finish my educa­ the University of Denver. As I wrote Jesuit students and their campus min­ tion at Regis. Should there be a stu­ about a month ago in the Highlander, shirt helped us to "attain isters in pursuit of common social jus­ dent committee focused on this issue? we had also been part of the Romero tice actions. the inner freedom to make "Keep your eye out for information House delegation to El Salvador. That How ought we to live at Regis? I about Fair Trade Bananas around experience in El Salvador, and what intelligent choices." propose that we ought to be living campus soon," urges Jacqueline we learned about the global econom­ "value-centered" lives as students, fac­ Davis. I challenge us to critically and ics and its human impacts, under­ the movement matched their ends by ulty, and staff. I propose that we wear compassionately explore these ques­ scored our decision to attend that con­ looking at Fair Trade holistically." sweat free Regis University sweat­ tions and I invite any dialogue on the ference. Throughout the conference, Thai shirts with pride knowing that the insti­ issues. Along with hundreds of international Rice farmers, Salvadoran garment tution named on that shirt helped us to students, producers and vendors we producers, Dominican coffee growers, "attain the inner freedom to make intel­ For information on USFT and/or Fair went in "search for truth, values, and a a Ugandan teacher, a South African ligent choices." And the very nature in just existence" through Fair Trade in small business consultant, Columbian which that sweatshirt was made allows Trade visit: www.usft.org accord with Regis' mission statement. farmers (one of which stayed for a year our brothers and sisters that produced For information on Salvadoran Fair The kick off to the three day confer­ internship with a Denver company), a it to "attain the inner freedom to make Trade clothing visit: www.justgar­ ence was a fair trade presentation to Brazilian university student, U.S. ven­ intelligent choices" because they were ments.net or www.crispaz.org, click on the Denver School Board. This short dors of Fair Trade products, and treated with dignity. The People's Market, then Fair Trade presentation-by the Ethical .Trade organizations such as Catholic Relief While we support the life and mis­ Clothing. Action Group (E-TAG) and Gilberto Services, and Lutheran Volunteer sion of Oscar Romero are we support­ Garcia, a representative from Just Corps built relationships. ing his people's work? Just Garments For information about the Fair Trade Garments, a fair trade clothing compa­ All convergence participants were is a struggling Salvadoran owned and Divine Chocolate Company visit: ny in El Salvador-reminded school asked to write to and call Mr. Husein operated Fair Trade clothing company. www.crs.org board members of the importance of Kitabwalla, vice president of brand I wonder if there are other students teaching our children to respect life by development for Sodexho's Retail buying Fair Trade clothing for sports Brand Group telling him that we would Letters to the Highlander. uniforms, staff apparel and any cloth­ not buy from Jazzman's unless the cof­ ing bearing the DPS name on it. fee, tea and cocoa were 100% Fair A letter to the organizers of Camp they were not drafted) It is arrogant, School board member Rev. Lucia Trade. Jazzman's is a cafe widely Casey on the Quad and Highlander presumptuous, divisive, self-serving, Guzman reiterated her support for Fair located on college campuses nation­ Editors: and completely done NOT for the pur­ Trade in Denver public schools, wide (over 150 exist) that is owned by pose of honoring those soldiers, but expressing it as an important cause. parent company Sodexho. Brewed by Here is a perfect example of what rather for the purpose of advancing a Seattle's Best coffee company, needs to happen, or better yet what political agenda that would never be Convergence Jazzman's currently only offers one fair needs to stop happening, if we are to adopted by most of those soldiers if As a national student organization, trade blend and some misleadingly bring conservatives and liberals they were still alive. I am nauseated[,] the United Students for Fair Trade altruistic Rainforest Alliance certified together. Here is a quote from the as are nearly all the soldiers who (USFT) advocate for fair trade clothing, blends. (Rainforest Alliance 3/21/6 Highlander: "Thousands of have served in Iraq that are still alive. hand crafts, and food products on their. Certification requires from producers people have died in Iraq, and our Ask them ... did anyone think of doing campuses, and in their communities, only 70 percent compliance to conser­ memorial of 2309 crosses is a humble that? ... No! ... why? ... because they through education, lobbying, and vation, pest management standards, attempt to honor their sacrifice and would not get the answer that serves organized actions. So, what does Fair and worker's rights and no price guar­ ask of our government. How many their political agenda. Please help me Trade mean? Fair Trade products antee for farmers in contrast to the more deaths will it take to achieve to stop the promotion of any political receive a stamp after meeting the min­ guaranteed Fair Trade floor price of your ill-defined goal of 'total victory'?" agenda by dishonoring a bunch of imum standards set by the Fair Trade $1.26 for coffee farmers' products as This is pathetic ... using the deaths of dead soldiers whose opinions cannot Labeling Organisations International well as ecological and worker's rights a bunch of soldiers who would be be taken into account. And please (FLO). To receive a Fair Trade Stamp standards). totally opposed to having their sacri­ know, I could be totally opposed to on their products co-operatives (collec­ From Wednesday, March 15 through fice used to promote a political agen­ the war in Iraq and I would still feel the tives of individual farmers), and planta­ March 22, USFT is leading a week of d~ that 99 percent of them oppose. same way. Honor them ... YES ... but action, during which students nation­ tions and factories must: Did anybod~ ask these soldiers if they leave the uninformed political agenda wide will send emails to Jazzman's + Pay a price to producers that wanted their names and sacrifices to stuff out of it. covers the costs of sustainable demanding their 100 percent Fair be used for that particular political production and living; Trade conversion. The following week agenda . . . of course not . .. they are Dennis Steele Pay a 'premium' that produc­ USFT representatives will go to + dead. Their buddies that are still alive Associate Professor, ers can invest in development; Pennsylvania to meet with the are sickened by this sort of abuse of Computer Science + Make partial advance pay President and Vice President of their chosen mission. (remember, ments when requested by Jazzman's to discuss in person the conversion to Fair Trade. See the producers; to display their work where others can Sign contracts that allow for INSITE posting for details on how to + Dear Highlander Editors: appreciate it. In fact, for the past year, long-term planning and sus­ join this email campaign. we were privileged to display several tainable production practices. [In reference to 3/21/06 feature oil paintings created by LaVanda True to the standards of Fair Trade, The Regis Connection "Finding the Arts in a Liberal Art; Mireles, and her paintings drew manY the convergence was eco-friendly Where does Regis fit into this Fair Education'7 favorable comments from our visitors. (providing Frisbee plates for the 100 Trade picture? During the conference If anyone is interested in an informal percent vegan meals and recycle all of the Jesuit colleges present . The Writing Center offers one solu­ showing of his or her work, please receptacles for any remnants) and (Santa Clara, Georgetown, Gonzaga tion to the lack of space for displaying consider the Writing Center in Loyola anti-oppressive. This year's conver­ and Regis) along with Catholic Relief I a~~rk: We welcome the sculpture, 1. Services representative, Jacqueline gence included and increased the painting~, and photos of artists from De Carlo, a representative from Fair number of international producers and the Re~1s com,:nunity. In this mutually devoted a full round of workshops, and Trade coffee company, Pura Vida, and Carol Rossini ! beneficial_ relationship, our bare walls Director, a Mullen High School parent met to a wildly inspirational talk from human come to life, and artists have a place development practitioner Joyce discuss Jesuit schools' responsibilities Regis Writing Center I I

Saturday, April 1, 2006 Spotlight Highlander S Film Preview:Batman Continues 1 a+ l1t.A!!in! Dorothea Frankly spokesperson, "like where the Bat­ Bat Girl Boat is located and how Batman can really fly wait, we explained that 0anief? While Batman Begins was last one." Daniel Fargone year's summer blockbuster, its sequel Batman fans should look forward to Bell Boy Batman Continues promises to be the film, which will be opening in select another smashing hit. With Christian theaters this May and nation-wide in Quick quiz. What do big chewing, Bale as the infamous dark knight, the late June. "subtleties," busy shopping, clapping story follows Batman right where we and enjoyment of good weather have left off, chasing that cookey jokester, in common. If you talk to Tammy, she the Joker, through the harsh and has complaints about all of the above. muddy streets of Gotham City. Photo courtesy of boston.com I cannot for the life of me look at these Although Jack Nicholson and Jim the lead female star of this movie will so called "opinions" as more than just Carrie were both considered for the be Cameron Diaz, who will play a foxy complaints. So for this issue, here are role, this time around the Joker will be stripper the Bat happens to meet on a my "opinions" about what bugs played by the wildly erotic comedian late-night pursuit. Tammy. Jimmy Fallon. At first, Fallon actually Batman Continues follows Batman The list goes on forever in regards through the horribly dirty world of to what bugs Tammy; have a five Gotham's underground, where he minute discussion with her and learns the awful truth about the Joker inevitably she will be bothered by and his plans to engulf the city in something. Sure all of us complain; another sinister plot, involving not the schoolwork is hard, I wish I did not air or water supply, but the sewer sys­ have to work this much, I am sick, tem. blah, blah, blah. I've got it! What "It promises to be a smelly, I mean, about complaints or "opinions" of wild ride," said a spokesperson for the world issues? No? What does film. Tammy have to say? "Clapping is The movie also promises to include nothing more than slapping one of even more amazing action sequences, your body's limbs against another death-defying special effects, and clapping is one of the most barbaric computer generated images of ancient forms of communication in Gotham City than its original. Photo courtesy of www.showbizz.net practice." I hope she remembers that After seeing a short preview of the point when she graduates, and out of film, one critic said, "This movie is flip­ Cameron Diaz (pictured above), pure happiness and love her family pin' amazing! The action scenes are playing the seductress of Batman barbarically claps for her. tight." Continues, looks distraught as she Let's switch gears to "subtleties." Photo courtesy of images-eu.amazon.com In the film, we also finally discover slowly realizes that her world is What on earth is wrong with sub­ the new layout plans for the Bat Cave, falling apart and Batman is proba­ tleties? They keep life moving and turned the role down, but after a little a definite cliff hanger from last year's bly the only one who cares. spontaneous, oh wait, I forgot, and coxing and some Pepsi, Fallon was on film. they are distracting . for Tammy. board. "Batman Continues, will hopefully Hey, if I have to spend an hour in class And while Katie Holmes had played answer some un-answered questions and I get just a little hot and unzip my the caped crusader's coy love interest, from Batman Begins," said the jacket a little, deal with it! If I get a lit­ tle hungry and want to slowly enjoy my bag of chips, deal with it! In short, if those "subtleties" distract you, then you may have other issues, focus on Hollywood love affair splits at seams the class, not the person behind you. All I know is, I bought those chips, and I am going to enjoy them. Since we thought that this perfect match June Rawltkoo are on the subject of food, what about between a 19-year old who wanted to Star Gazer people who are big eaters, or "cham­ date someone famous to get her pers"? Tammy? I say, be proud that unknown name out there, and this 32- Forget whatever other news you you can stuff that whole baked potato year old who wanted to make his ex­ might have read today! I know you're in your mouth without choking. wife jealous, would have ended in wondering what could possibly be Chomp away my friend, chomp away. such a way. It's just heart-wrench­ more important than what's happening In truth, Tammy is a great person, in Iraq or what the Pope's saying in ing ... tragic really. and her opinion should be heard, But don't weep for Kristin my fellow Rome, but I think the answer should because if it is not she may complain Regis star-gazers. (Wow that pun was about not being able to complain. pathetic) Although we all empathize Obviously I am not on the WBT with the ripping sorrow of ending this wagon, so I leave by chomping on my relationship, we can take some solace "subtle" potato chips, and clap for in the fact that she is far from popular Tammy and all she has given us with or famous. That's right, she'll have to her words of not so necessary wis­ date and "break the hearts" of a lot Photo courtesy of www.abc.net.au dom. Peace. more celebrities before she gets any­ Kristin Cavallari recently broke the thing more than a little article in the heart of her sweatheart Nick middle of "Star" magazine. (Oh, and Lachey (pictured on left), after don't weep for Nick either because he using him for press coverage and dated someone 13 years younger than Do you Ht~e cookies? attention. him.) Still, in an exclusive interview that I How about milk? Photo courtesy of www.bbbsa.org Safeway this week: Jennifer Aniston took out of some other magazine Nick moves on-with Nick Lachey, Nick­ Nick Lachey recently broke up with actually admits that he knew Kristin Lachey moves on with Angelina Jolie If you[te lactose his latest love interest Kristin was just using him for the press. Can after she dumps Brad, and Kristin Cavallari (pictured on right). you believe how traumatic that is? It Cavallari continues to attempt to intolerant then you be obvious. Kristin Cavallari cheated really is shocking; if I were Nick I would become famous by dating Donald on Nick Lachey with her ex! That's so write her a note saying he didn't like Trump! have no idea what right, my wide-eyed friends. This ~en­ her anyway and have a friend pass it But if you'd rather read real news, or uine, mature, one-month long relation­ up to her desk during biology class! flip the page of this paper in search of you[te missing. Oh wait, that's high school. Sorry something less mind-numbing I ship is actually over. What's worse is how I'm sure no one everyone, I got confused. applaud you! Just reading enough Anyway, although we'll all need Have a nice daY! saw it coming. That's because cel~b.ri­ about Kristin and Nick to be able to some time to recover from this blow ty relationships are never for pubhcity properly make fun of it took my IQ message brought to you bY: and learn to believe again that love is or career advancement. No, quite the down, well until next time-keep watch­ possible, I'm sure we'll be astounded Lactose Into1erantS contrary. They are deep, sincer~. a~d ing the stars! at these stars' resiliency. Just to pre­ full of potential. Kristin and Nick, in dict some of the headlines you may Anonymous particular, was one the watching world find in the check-out line at your local had high hopes for. Who would have Volume 88, Issue 22 April 1, 2006 Regis University------­ e a weekly publication 1 an er

The Jesuit University of the Rockies www.RegisHighlander.com Denver, Colorado Archives reveal artist M.C. Escher is iPods to be banned on true architect of Adult Learning Center campus starting Tate J. Saatchi Staff Reporter Wednesday

A recent discovery of a document in Stacey McGurk the Regis University archives has Staff Reporter revealed that the architect of the Adult Learning Center is none other than iPods have been causing a lot of M.C. Escher, renowned Dutch graphic difficulty in the classroom and for cam­ artist. The finding ends decades of pus security. To some students' dis­ speculation regarding the original may, as of Thursday, March 29, motives behind ALC's unique structur­ iPods will be officially banned from al characteristics. the Regis campus with an exception of Archival evidence suggests that student dorms and student vehicles Escher, who is perhaps best known for when traveling outside of campus. his exploration of impossible geometric "I see students walking in to my shapes and graphic depictions of infin­ classroom listening to their iPods. It's ity, was invited to Regis in the early distracting. Even if they put it away, I 1950s and asked to adapt some of his see their scheming, shaking fingers ideas into a concept for the building, reaching for it," said Eduardo which would become Regis High Macapuno, associate professor of School, and presently is known as the Religious Studies. ''They think I don't ALC. know." The document shows that Regis' "The amount of iPod damages Jesuits at the time challenged Escher blamed on Campus Security is ridicu­ to "Help design a building that is both lous," said Shawn Baclig, assistance futuristic and timeless; one that's mod­ director of Campus Security. "Students ern without being avant-garde; all the keep threatening to sue us because while it must be distinctive and calcu­ they find their iPod screen missing or lating enough to evoke the spirit of a buttons broken or whatever." . M.C. Escher s Relativity progressive new era, yet rooted in the Other Jesuit schools have also Jesuit tradition." The invitation allowed Escher s lithograph print Relativity (above) was recently discovered to be moved forward to ban iPods from Escher notable artistic license in the the initial blueprint for what is now the ALC. their campus. Reese Hutchinson, design, which he relished over the dean of Discipline from Marquette eventually affront Euclidian geometry Uncharacteristically, the structure was decade and a half before construction University stated in a public interview, by incorporating 49 separate mathe­ something of a departure from began. The "Regis Project" was the "Marquette University is very adamant matical planes into the structure. In his Escher's quest for symmetry, a theme first time Escher's work was trans­ about keeping student learning search for algebraic exactitude and that came to dominate his later works. ferred from lithograph into a three­ healthy. Instead, students are abusing connectedness, the building has seven dimensional structure. technology to listen to crude jokes and entrances and seven bathrooms (the Using his 1953 work Relativity as See Escher on page two provocative music videos in the class­ square root of 49 is seven). the initial blueprint, the design would rooms." She continued, "I will not accept this in my university." departments on campus, this "springly" that grass is ridiculous," he said, "I Likewise, Regis decided to pass the Physical Plant to ritual has placed severe strain on the think it'd be best to just completely ban proposal last Tuesday. "Teachers resources and employees which remove it. Maybe we could sell it on and Campus Safety were complaining replace grass in Physical Plant has available. Ebay." that iPods were being a nuisance," As one Physical Plant employee put Although Ebay has not been seri­ said John Dao, director of Student quad with cement it, "Frankly, we're just pooped." ously considered, Regis University will Complaints. "Now, if the ban is put in In order to remedy the problem, this be devoid of grass, "by any and all­ place, students can leave their iPods Kit Redinthefacer spring, Physical Plant will be adding means necessary," Herry said. in their dorms so they don't complain Staff Reporter extensively to Regis' sidewalks, using The first area to be removed will be about them being broken or lost. And cement, brick, and a rainbow of colors the Boetchetter commons, followed by teachers can stop bugging me about With the return of spring, and subse­ to completely remove the beautiful the grotto in front of O'Connell Hall, the students listening to drum-numbing quently, the end of the semester, Regis green lawns which have been a part of alcove behind Carroll Hall, and finally music." students look forward to the fresh campus since the foundation of the the Beach by the Town Houses. As The iPod~ , created by Apple smell of green grass and newly raked college. Herry explained, Physical Plant Computers, was first released in 2001 mulch, repainted buildings and reno­ Gerard Herry, a Physical Plant employees will cut the sod, roll the as a standard digital music player that vated staircases, repaved parking lots employee who has been working at pieces up, and then remove the weighed just 6.5 ounces and held and Windexed windows. And while Regis since 1998, says that he is sorry pieces. about 1,000 songs. Now, with the Physical Plant is perhaps one of the to see the grass go, but even sorrier to See grass on page two See iPod on page two most dedicated and hardworking see the grass grow, "The up-keep on Saturday, April 1, 2 2 Highlander News 006

• Squirrels go nuts over cats Divina LaRoche to them to fabricate some nonsense Contributing Rodentist about a peace accord twenty ;::i uh six minus four is two, borrow one tron'.i The squirrel population on the Regis yeah, twenty two or thirty two yea~ campus is not happy about what they ago. That's like an ice age ago for us claim to be uncontrolled breeding and little beasts! Things change! The car­ feeding of local cats, and they're start­ niceria where we used to get scraps is ing to mobilize to raise awareness of a Jamba Juice now, and how long you their concerns. Saturday, March 25, think we're gonna survive on orange 2006, they held a tiny rally in Boettcher peels?" Pressed to answer whether Commons, but they're concerned that his considerable girth can be attributed nobody is noticing. to squirrel flesh, Butch just smirks and "Those cats catch everyone's atten­ replies "Squirrels, mice, prarie dogs tion," complained Walnut (who prefers whatever. They're all rodents. Reau/ to be called Wally, to avoid the tire­ You can look it up. Library's right over some nut jokes), "with all you humans there." oohing and aaahing when they slink For now, the tension is simmering by, and a major Broadway play named just below eye level for most of us Photo by Molly O.Hund after their species, and all that sappy upright simians. But Wally and his nut The proposed cement quad will allow Physical Plant to be purring. Well, we squirrels areu well, posse have plans to escalate. They've more efficient maintenance work. While it may not be popular OK, so we're technically rodents, but started posting flyers for classical among students, the estimated savings will be tremendous. hey, we're dang cute! So give us a lit­ music concerts in the greater Denver tle credit here, will ya?" metro area, hoping to increase So tremendous, in fact, that it will boggle your mind. But beyond the high-schoolish jeal­ demand for string instrumental music, ousy, Wally and the other squirrels and the catgut that they're strung with. Grass from front page Physical Plant plans to paint the have some real issues with felines. They've also admitted to sending e­ Squirrels are disappearing by the mails to unscrupulous carnival supply "Unfortunately, we have to keep the Boetchetter commons and other once grass inhabited places green. dozens from the Regis landscape, but houses, touting the similarity of a athletic fields," said one disgruntled "We might actually paint the school no humans seem to be aware. (Did declawed cat's paw with a rabbit's foot, anyone notice their rally in the com­ and suggesting that tapping a com­ employee, "I guess it would be hard to crest too," Herry said. mons? Didn't think so. And one-hit­ pletely new source will have huge "Maintaining a beautiful campus is play soccer without grass." wonder group the Squirrel Nut Zippers, price advantages. our number one priority," Kipkip said, Of course, concerns with beautifica­ have all but vanished from pop cµlture The cats, for their part, don't seem tion and maintaining a swell-looking "but how can we do that without strain­ history.) Seems that the squirrels are concerned about what they character­ campus, have been discussed by ing ourselves? It's not that we don't getting picked off by bl.lngry cats, or in ize as "penny-ante tactics." "Their so­ Physical Plant, "We have a plan," said like to work, it's that there is just so the words-0f the squirrels, "Those feral called guerrilla tactics are laughable. I another employee, "it involves a lot of much work to do." monsters!" _ don't think the_ylll-; /Ng[k at all. If they cement and a lot of work, but it's better Kipkip explained that the sheer man The squirr.els P9rtend to be pacifistic had any borioc at all, they'd meet us than mowing the grass everyday." power needed to maintain the Regis eye candy for the grounds, which has face to face, mano a mano, claw to Moe Kipkip, the director of Physical campus, is simply not enough. led to an evolution of a cute but slow buck tooth." said Butch. "That's how Plant, explained that once all the sod "I think our future plan is pretty squirrel. They also claim to have the animal kingdom works." has been removed, cement will be good," he said, "well, at least those struck a deal with the local cat popula­ In a disturbing footnote, a review of tion in 1974, inspired by the US' victo­ poured over the bare patches, creating kids on skateboards can have a little recent concealed weapons permit rious end to the Vietnam War, to wide expanses of solid walking space. more range to roam." applications included one for a peacefully cohabitate for the enjoy­ "Wallace (Wally) Fluffytail," which After the cement has set and dried, ment of Regis students, faculty, and seemed too coincidental to ignore. An visitors. But the cats have recently attempt to find Wally to explain to him either chosen to ignore the 1974 iPod from front page at the Office of Admissions. "I like my that the kickback of even a small .22 iPod, but I think I can wait until I get treaty, or have, through generations of caliber handgun (assuming he could slovenly study habits, just simply for­ home." Another student added, "If she even lift it) would certainly be fatal to a explosion of over a million iPods world­ gotten about it. can do it, we can too." creature of his size, but all the squir­ wide, sleeker versions such as the Several cats. approached for ques­ rels look alike and none of them Overall, many students are unhappy iPod Nano, iPod Shuffle, and iPod tioning on this subject, coyly mewed answer their calls. Attempts were about the ban, but see hope that the Video, can be seen in student (as well and bounded away, but one apparent­ made to talk to any cat to warn them of as faculty) hands around the country. iPod rule will ultimately better them as ly well-fed and thus slow-moving tom, this dangerous turn of events, but "It's the in thing," said freshman responsible citizens of America. Butch, was cornered and agreed to again, the cats just stared with their big Ronald Salvador. "They're tight." "I'm kind of glad that Regis is doing talk. ''Those stupid squirrels. Leave it gentle eyes. Unfortunately, despite their "tight­ this," said student Sarah Samsung. ness," the new iPod rule will continue "I'm so distracted with my iPod, I forget as planned. Regis faculty and staff what's important in life. It's not like it's must also abide by the rule. the end of the worldu " She continued, "At Regis, we want to ensure every­ "At least there's still Myspace and one is fair," said Kristel Cow, an intern Facebook."

Escher from front page lectual heavyweight, "If I can park around where I think the front entrance is, which I usually can't, I only have to The result is a beacon of post-mod­ go up two flights of stairs," adding em algebraic neo-minimalist architec­ "Heaven help me if I want a soda or ture. The style, which drew inspiration have to go to the bathroom. That from the credo "form without function," means I have to walk down another has few examples as splendid as the staircase and along this ramp-thing. ALC outside Escher's native Holland. But that's great that such a famous Senior Luke Stolz expressed gratifi­ person designed it. Until now I thought cation at the news of Escher's contri­ it was just an inefficient waste of space bution to the building, "You know, that designed to enrage all that learn and makes a lot of sense. Before I thought work within it." that building was a confusing, A small rededication will take place For Sale by Owner: whiskey-induced mistake; or else a to honor Escher's contribution to the joke. I'm happy to find out that there is Lowell campus in the ALC's Room 206 One slightly used cat. No longer small a far grander reason I have to walk at 2 p.m. on Saturday, April 1. ALC down, up, and then down several Room 206 is located down one flight of and cute, but lovable nonetheless. Brown. flights of stairs to get to class." stairs, through the lounge, up a ramp, Scratching post included. Direct inquires Similarly, SPS student Denise and up another flight of stairs, then all Margenta expressed pride upon hear­ the way down the hall. ing the building was sired by an intel- ~ to 303.964.5391 ~ lj .,

Saturday, April 1, 2006 News/Opinion Highlander 3 President Haug under investigation A studentrs call for more coffee for embezzling RUSGA funds resources on campus

Anetta LaRoaste but I'm sure Starbucks would be willing Contributing Writer to discount every 150th cup of coffee, Lotta Noies Andy Cole," commented Beard Face come on that's only two week's worth Staff reporter There have been possible rumors of of coffee. This plan is especially bril­ impeachment. The executive cabinet liant since an elaborate system of ele­ Frank Haug, current student body however will not consult the Walking across campus at this time vator pulleys would be necessary to president, is under investigation for the Highlander on their current plan of of year is certainly an enjoyable expe­ reach this awesome Starbucks. disappearance of $3,000 from the stu­ action. According to the Regis rience; the grass is a lovely shade of Students would be able to enjoy the dent senate budget. Under the pseu­ University Student Government brown and the trees all have that extra view as well as engaging in some donym "Beard Face," this information Association Handbook, "If the execu­ special dead look that MarcMs famous much needed socializing over steam­ was leaked on Monday. Beard Face tive cabinet decides to impeach an for. However, I find our beautiful cam­ ing, three dollar cups of caramel filled , stated "Danny Gallagher, vice presi­ elected official they will have to get pus to be missing one thing and one chocolate coated goodness. Not to dent of the student body, and Luke 10% of the undergraduate students of thing only- Starbucks. Let's face it, our mention enjoy one hell of a ride to Stolz, the current director of finance the Regis College or a recommenda­ country's dependence on caffeine has enter and exit this newly found haven discovered the missing money in ~ tion of 50% of the executive cabinet " made great changes in society, and I on campus. As with anything in life monthly meeting to overlook the budg­ It continues, "The elected officers may for one want to see these beneficial Starbucks is the solution. et. During this meeting they stumbled be impeached following a hearing effects furthered here on campus. upon a massive cover-up, and things where evidence and arguments will be More people are dependent on caf­ just didn't add up". Stolz commented, considered and a 314th approval of feine to get up in the morning than "That's my job to add things up. That's voting members of the student sen­ ever before, and surely students here Personally I find it offen­ all I do. I don't know how he got past ate." at the Jesuit University of the Rocky sive that after all the work us." Haug is currently under investigation Mountains deserve their quality cup of Gallagher added, "He was always by the executive cabinet and the that has been done to joe at exorbitantly high prices. trying to take me out to dinner. One Judicial Board. Jesse Stephens, the Personally I find it offensive that update Regis' campus this time he tried to give me a cat. I mean, current chief justice stated, "I always after all the work that has been done to I had about enough when he started knew Frank was shifty." Stephens cur­ notable business has been update Regis' campus this notable dropping my catch phrase "meow." rently is gathering evidence to prose­ business has been left out of the loop. left out of the loop Only I can say meow. It seemed like he cute Haug at the next senate meeting Starbucks does valuable things to fur­ Starbucks does valuable was trying to buy my opinion or some­ Haug's younger brother Tony stat­ ther our addictions to sugar, caffeine thing." Brittani Sours, director of com­ ed, "His moral fiber is outstanding. I things to further our addic and those ever-useful compilation munications, added, "He is leading a don't know how he could do such a CDs, and its importance should not be tions to sugar, caffeine and life of luxury. He bought these black thing." When asked about the topic understated. Dave Law stated, "Frank is currently those ever-useful compila Versace sunglasses that are like four The solution is clear, many students suspended from his presidential hundred dollars. I mean he looked have no doubt noticed the addition of tion CDs, and its impor­ duties; and is on paid leave. Danny good, but then he started buying new the cupola to the top of Main Hall, so tance should not be under­ Gallagher will be taking over all presi­ trendy clothes and giving us gifts. He surely if a cell phone tower can fit up dential duties for the rest of the semes­ stated. had us fooled." there a spacious, panoramic Starbucks ter." The money laundering scandal is Stolz added, "There was a paper is the next logical step. Not only that, trail of receipts. Haug had shoved all of currently under debate and investiga­ them into his mailbox and they where tion. "A possible impeachment seems falling out. When Danny and I started justifiable at this point," states looking through the receipts we found Gallagher. Updates will be made Staff and faculty parking lots purchases for a cat, an egg cuber, a available upon further information. blow up hot tub, a marmoset, Paula established Abdul dance remix DVD, American Idol season two CD, concert tickets to Celine Dion in Vegas, lavender scent­ Merta Spender ed, "I won't have to take the bus any ed bath salts. In addition, Stolz contin­ Contributing Reporter more. Give me a moment...l'm too ued, "Hair gel, beef jerky, Idiot's Guide choked up to speak." to Get Into Law School, Ugg boots, Its happened! Finally. The staff has Security guards state that they are Versace sunglasses, a years long sub­ been assigned parking lot #2 (West of authorized to ticket and tow violators. scription to Executive Tans, a personal Loyola) and the faculty will be given lot "This would mean any student parking gift certificate to La Muragli's for pedi­ #1 (East of Loyola). The response there without proper authorization cures, new clothes, bear repellent, was unanimous. Faculty and staff would be ticketed for the first offense. chia pet, a one way plane ticket to were thrilled at this decision. "Its about The second time they violate this new Yemen, and a welcome home door­ time" stated Joan Carnegie, secretary enforcement, they will be towed at their own expense." Bridget Biller, mat." for the Religious Studies Department. The paper trail was found when "We've been suffering long enough." administrator for the Writing Center Stolz and Gallagher tracked down the Patty Gabriel, administrative assistant suggested that "Possibly the students could be compensated in other ways. cash advances Haug had signed. for the dean, was unable to make a What if all faculty decided to eliminate Each director or person in a leadership direct comment. Visibly excited, she final exams this semester. It could be position controls their own budgets. was seen running through the halls Frank Haug is currently under a win-win proposition." Dean Ewald People are only allowed to sign up to with bugged-out eyes and laughing investigation for stealing funds was unavailable for comment. two hundred dollars. "$3,000 is a lot of hysterically. Ian Dawe, instructor in from the Student Government. The the communications department, stat- money. Turns out, it all started when accusations have blackened an Haug was voted vice-president last otherwise productive term. year for the executive cabinet under Annormclag La •sentry fee. Just ManagUa'• write two reasons why TwoYeaa' you or a faculty ,, member deserve a free •.•...... ,. massage and submit Coatest! them to: Free Wifi • Internet Nominate yourself or · winners will be 4 Compac Computer Stations a faculty member for announced April 2b! Book Store • Patio a free massage! Good luck! Oh yeah, Daz Bog Coffee too~ 4949 Lowell Blvd. One block south of Regis. 720-855-8858 Highlander Saturday, April I, 2006 Sports 4 Members of Mens Basketball drop Annual Regis-Denver Un~~ersity row~ Nugget Eduardo Najera in pick-up race truly a chance for elitists to distin­ game at local YMCA guish themselves Evelyn Montgomery Wainwright League universities and private N England Boarding Schools. Such r' ewl Rowing Enthusiast · C b 'd iva. nes as am n ge v. Oxford, Harv d v. Yale, and Phillips Exeter Academ ar This Saturday will mark the 120th Phillips Academy Andover were on rhv. annual Regis-Denver University Row­ minds of Denverites, and the compet: Off on the Platte. The event, which pits tion was warmly embraced by elitists rowing clubs from Regis University from its very inception. It has been and the University of Denver, is one of held every year except the war years the city of Denver's most heavily in 1944 and 1945. attended spectator events, and is pop­ DU senior steersman C.R. ular among both rowing enthusiasts Pendleton Quidsworth noted the and poor people alike. importance both teams, and the city at. The event began in 1886, when stu­ large, attach to the race, "It is a chance dents from both institutions scuffled for the affluent of both schools to real­ over which school could claim the area ly distinguish themselves from the truly that is now the Auraria campus as their non-affluent. Indeed, what would "turf" At the time, the area was highly Denver be like without a rowing race sought after, as it was the primary that proves which within the city's pri­ hangout for students partaking in the vate universities has the most dispos­ popular pastime of throwing stones at able income and time to spend toward Irish and Italian immigrant laborers. It betteri ng a foe." DU has dominated the was decided that the only way for series recently, winning seven of the proper gentlemen to settle the dispute last eight contests. was to have an eight-man coxed row­ This year's race begins at Commons ing race on the Platte. It was decided Park and ends under the Colfax that there would be a race on the Avenue Bridge. Event organizers have fourth Saturday of March every year shortened the race to 3. 7 miles from thereafter to determine which school 4.3 in recent years because they "did­ could use the Auraria vicinity as their n't want to imperil the welfare of our stomping ground. young scholars by continuing the race By the late nineteenth century, the into a dodgy part of town," adding, Photo by L. Don Cubbard sport of crew had caught on among "who would take over for me at next Eduardo Najera (left) and 3-on-3 teammate Raymond Scuttles (right) par­ the many Americans attending Ivy year's shareholder meetings." ticipate in a friendly pick-up game at an Arvada YMCA. Najera brought shame upon himself by losing to several Regis players as a Pro-athlete. Samantha S. Havercorn out of shape." Sports Reporter In "make-it, take-it" game, Zalenski and Scuttles proved ineffective on Senior Regis Men's Basketball play­ defense. Precision passing set up lay­ ers Slade Bigelow, Jason Deich and up after lay-up for Regis. Najera was Alex Glueckler defeated current forced to play in the paint, which Denver Nugget forward Eduardo opened up the perimeter for Bigelow. Najera in a pick-up 3-on-3 basketball The Rangers went on to win the game game last Friday at the Duncan 21 -17. A source close to the story Family YMCA in Arvada. noted that Najera was visibly upset at Najera, who averages 5.6 points per the poor play of his teammates and game and 5.3 rebounds per game for uttered indecipherable Spanish exple­ the Nuggets this year, was at the cen­ tives, though this could not be con­ ter to support the YMCA Jr. Nuggets firmed. Basketball program. After a brief press Of the game Glueckler said, "They conference and photo session, Najera didn't have the rapport we had. Those Photo from Platte River Crew Club took the opportunity to shoot-around other guys didn't do anything. Najera The Regis University Crew Club takes on the University of Denver in the before making the trip back down­ might have been playing his hardest, Regis-Denver University Row-Off on the Platte in 1924. Regis would go on town. Bigelow, Deich and Glueckler but you could tell he wanted to beat to win by an upturned nose. were also there in the service of oth­ us." ers, helping children as part of a Regis Douglas Cavendish, a 59 year old Service Leaming project. upholsterer from Westminster, Sources say that when Najera observed the game: "I don't care if the entered the gym, two other men-37 other guys on your team aren't that year old Norman Zalneski and 43 year good. If you're in the [NBA], you old Raymond Scuttles- suggested shouldn't lose a pick-up game at the that they should play a 3-on-3 game. Y." Najera eventually acquiesced to play Though Cavendish seemed the pick-up game after initially resist­ unaware that the victorious Rangers ing. "He was like, 'I'm not supposed to were in fact NCAA Division II basket­ $1 Games! play games like this,' or whatever. ball players, his point resonated Then I said, 'oh, come on,'" said throughout the locker room. 13 year $1 Shoes! Zalenski. old Kevin Smallwood couldn't get over Bigelow, Deich and Glueckler each the upset during his 45-minute swim­ hit three-pointers to get on the same ming lesson, "It's incredible. I under­ team, leaving Najera with Zalenski stand his knees have given him some and Scuttles. Being on the team trouble lately, but Najera got straight Wednesdays seemed to galvanize the three play­ balled by those kids." ers: "After Najera bricked his [three­ In a final reflection on this magi­ @ · pointer] to start with the ball, I knew cal morning in Arvada, Glueckler, "I we could take him down," said don't know if we could beat him like 8:00pm Glueckler. that consistently, but that's the great And take him down they did. After thing about basketball. On any given initially going down 9-2, Deich and the day anybody can beat anybody." other Regis players located the oppo­ Najera could not be reached for sition's weakness and took advan­ comment, though Cavendish noted, tage. "I couldn't really guard Najera," "although Najera was the 2nd Deich said, "He could take it to the Mexican-born player to make it to the rack or hit from outside. I mean, the NBA, we certainly was not en fuego guy plays professional basketball," this morning. Bitch Lanes 3825 Tennyson Denver co (303) 477· 16 83 adding, "those other guys were really Tuesday, March 28, 2006 Sports Highlander 5 Softball gets four of a kind Erica Easter action. Backlund (Aurora, Sports Editor Colo./Eaglecrest HS) is hitting .379 the top average among Ranger regu­ Last weekend, the Regis University lars and has six homeruns and 19 softball team improved to 10-0 in runs batted in. Utecht brings a .370 RMAC play with a 6-4, 8-4 sweep of batting average to Grand Junction and Mesa State College today in Grand has seven dingers, tying her with Junction. The wins also ran RU.s Michelle Johnston for the team lead, RMAC winning streak to 15 dating to and matches Backlund with 19 RBI. the 2005 season. The Rangers scored On Sunday, the Rangers resumed play the first five runs of the game, then against the Mavericks for a double­ held off Mesa State to claim a 6-4 win header. in the opener of the four-gam Last The second day in the series result­ weekend, the Regis University softball ed in another win for the Rangers. team improved to 10-0 in RMAC play Utecht s three-run homerun, her 8th of with a 6-4, 8-4 sweep of Mesa State the season, and Monica Atencio s two­ College today in Grand Junction. The run double highlighted the inning. wins also ran RU s RMAC winning Melissa Backlund, Maria Piper, and streak to 15 dating to the 2005 sea­ Christine Gardella all had two hits in son. The Rangers scored the first five the game to lead RU to a total of 12 runs of the game, then held off Mesa hits in the contest. State to claim a 6-4 win in the opener Regis carries a perfect 8-0 confer­ of the four-game weekend series. ence record into the series after Junior shortstop Melissa Backlund sweeping both Adams State and New and juco transfer (Otero JC) Heather Mexico Highlands. Utecht lead RU into this weekend .s Photo by Regis Athletics The Regis University baseball team has moved up to 9th in the latest National Collegiate Baseball Writers Association West Region Top 10 poll. Baseball sweeps the Lopers in a four game senes Erica Easter tory. Matt Huff had his second straight Sports Editor impressive outing, lasting six innings and striking out 12. Huff fanned 10 in a This past weekend, the Rangers shutout victory over Mesa State last swept the four game series against the week. Huff scattered six UNK hits University of Nebraska-Kearney while improving to 6-2 on the season. Lopers. Jordan Bruns had three hits The next day, the Rangers met the and three RBI on the day and Matt Lopers at Regis field for another dou­ Huff struck out 12 in the nightcap as bleheader. Junior pitcher Kellen the Regis University baseball team Knudson tossed a complete game in swept a non-co This past weekend, the opener and went the distance, the Rangers swept the four game allowing only six UNK hits and one series against the University of unearned run. Knudson struck out six Nebraska-Kearney Lopers. Jordan while improving to 3-2 on the season. Bruns had three hits and three RBI on In the next game of the day, Jordan the day and Matt Huff struck out 12 in Bruns continued his hot-hitting for the nightcap as the Regis University Regis, going 3-3 with an RBI. Sean baseball team swept a non-conference Chase was 2-2 at the plate with a dou­ doubleheader from the UNK Saturday ble and two runs batted in as the afternoon at Regis Field. The Rangers Rangers won their third straight in two Photo by Regis Athletics led 4-2 entering the third inning but days. Junior SS Melissa Backlund gets ready to hit one home against the watched as UNK scored a pair of runs In the last game of the series, Regis, Mavericks. Backlund is hitting .379-- the top average among Ranger to knot the game at 4-4. James Walker which took advantage of six Nebraska­ regulars- and has six homeruns and 19 runs batted in. doubled in a run in the bottom of the Kearney (12-10) errors, had 16 hits in third to give Regis the lead for good. the contest. Mike Benton led the way In the last game for Saturday, trail­ with a 4-4 performance. Benton had a ing 4-3, Regis (18-12) scored four runs double and collected two RBI on the in the fifth inning and held off a late day. Kobey McCall threw two innings Nebraska-Kearney (12-8) rally to com­ in relief of starter Greg Schaer and plete the twin bill sweep with a 7 -5 vie- picked up the victory.

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Justin Parnell Tamara Hackfort Associate Editor Contributing Columnist America's favorite game show, Wheel of Fortune, spun into Denver over the weekend to tape three weeks I like words. Many of you know that of shows at the Colorado Convention I most especially like the etymology of Center's Lecture Hall. Each week fea­ words. I think it is fascinating how tured a special theme, including Great words are created and why they are Outdoors Week, highlighting metro sustained. Some words go out of use Denver; College Week, featuring col­ shortly after existence and some hang lege students across the nation; and around longer than necessary. Last Mom & Me Week, celebrating Mother's night I was watching the evening news Day. with some friends when the term The show, in its 23rd season, contin­ "breadwinner" was used by a RTD ues to be ranked as television's num­ driver, talking about the impending ber one syndicated series for 86 con­ strike here in town. I don't know if 1 secutive sweeps ratings periods. Sony haven't heard the term in a while or if Photo by Jacqueline Kharouf Pictures Television first said it planned it is just struck me as unusual this one to come to Colorado in early As part of the show's national tour, Denver played host to the television time. Nevertheless, I have pondered September 2005. The show's contest­ game show Wheel of Fortune this weekend. Fifteen shows were filmed on that word for some time now. ant team dispatched its "Wheelmobile" over the course of three days. Five of those fifteen were filmed in a series My reflections reveal that "breadwin­ to Denver's Pepsi Center grounds on entitled College Week and featured students from local colleges and uni­ ner" is grossly at odds with many other September 17-18 of last year to audi­ versities, including Regis. words used to describe economic tion potential contestants, including also adept at putting their fingers to Great Outdoors Week will be aired roles. While the term "breadwinner," thousands of college students hoping their lips to hush and warn the crowd to nationally the week of May 1. Mom & which originated around 1820, comes to be chosen for College Week. not inadvertently blurt out the answers Me Week will air the week of May 8 from the most direct and literal transla­ Letter-pointer-outer extraordinaire, to the puzzles. and the five College Week half-hour tion possible, meaning "one who can Vanna White explains to the media The sellout crowd, for its part, effort­ tapings will run the week of May 15. provide bread (food) for others", it no beforehand that College Week brings lessly gave its enthusiasm and interest longer sums up the role of the working a new wind of enthusiasm to the show. in the form of over-the-top cheering Wheel o' Facts: adult. "College Week attracts a lot of energy and woo-wooing for each of the 22- ~ Wheel of Fortune has awarded When you think about it, most words that rubs off on us," said White. minute shows (not taking into consid­ over $153 million in cash and to describe the role that you perform to The five taped shows for College eration commercial breaks). The prizes to its contestants in its 22 earn money are pretty straightforward: Week brought out University of crowd's eyes gazed at the cavernous years on air. "career", "position", "responsibilities." Colorado's basketball marching band set imitating a mountain lodge com­ ~ Approximately 3,200 people try To keep in line with this trend, perhaps and cheerleading squad, in addition to plete with a cheesy fake fireplace, and out, and fewer than 500 lucky "breadwinner" should be replaced with local college contestants from Regis traditional mountain furniture and Wheel Watchers are selected to a term that more accurately describes University, United States Air Force decor. If the lavish set wasn't enough, appear on the show. what average working adults put their Academy, Colorado State University, two large screens played a series of ~ In 1992, the Guinness Book of income towards. Somehow, "mort­ and University of Colorado-Boulder. changing scenes: ski resorts, roaring World Records listed Vanna White gage payer'' or "credit card reducer" To beef up the crowd's energy, show rivers, and the Denver skyline. as the world's most frequent clap­ probably hits today's world better. announcer Charlie O'Donnell did his Despite the perfectly engineered set, per. Vanna puts her hands togeth­ I know that some of you are think­ warm-up schtick by giving a little tutori­ the show was as seamless as Vanna's er for contestants some 28,080 ing that such a change would elimi­ al about what to do and expect. 15 designer dresses. Consonants times a season, an average of 720 nate the term's true meaning as the O'Donnell was assisted by several were thrown, vowels were bought, times per show. essence of the term relates back to helpers who waved their hands when spins were lost, trips were won, and ~ The Wheel weighs 4,000 bread, or food (a subject close to my they wanted the crowd to cheer (which puzzles were solved proving that the pounds. heart). Therefore, I propose yet was often). These assistants were show remains an American classic. another set of suggestions. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to re-coin the phrase as "Happy Meal Provider'' or I t I "Doughnut Donor." Can you imagine The Regis Reel Review the clarity that this would give to ele­ mentary school classrooms every­ where when Johnnie stood up and said, "My Dad stays home to take care of my sisters and me. He also cooks and cleans because my Mom is the Happy Me~I Provider in our family." I take equal issue with the second portion of the word as you may ~ave Dresden Dolls seen from my earlier suggestions. Yes, Virginia Does someone who works hard for a paycheck (and even those that don 't Kevin O'Brien work so hard) really "win" the bread? KRCX Music Director This implies that there is an element of chance to the whole system. I would expect a "breadwinner'' to return to her Take the head of 1930's cabaret, the home at the end of each month with a arms of piano driven pop, and the sort of bewildered amazement: body of edgy punk and you get the th 1 Dresden Dolls. The Dresden Dolls "Honey, you know all that work at have been doing for eight hours a day, latest release Yes, Virginia, which could be on hundreds of album of the five days a week?!?! Guess wh~~·?! won some money out of-the deal?! · · · year lists by years end, is from start to 0the finish a tour de force. "Dirty Business" A "Happy Meal Provider" on the r hand would confidently announce ~~ stands out as the driving song on the 9 Photo by Graham Hunt record, featuring boisterous female payday, "Honey, I have earne~ u~. Lance Leonnard and Pat Hill won first place at the 2nd Annual Regis Reel vocals, pounding pianos, and stop­ quarter pounders this pay period. h- While I am betting dollars to doug . Review for their film "Climbidia," a short documentary on the adventures start drum beats. This male-female · "WI11 nuts that the term "breadwinner of a group of climbers. Second place went to "Pure Vida," a film Kyle­ duo have knack for drawing listeners l'k the stick around uselessly (much 1. e If) Baumann and Marty Rouche, which highlighted the skiing and snowboard­ in with their simple vocal melodies " 1tse , phase "dollars to doughnu t s ing pursuits, and third place went to "Marvin," a film by Quentin Redmond, and hitting them with a brazen cho­ lternate which chronicled the snowboarding experience of a New Orleans transfer rus, making Yes, Virginia stand out You can count on me to use a h "Qdoba student named Marvin. from the indie crowd. You can hear phrases. Here's to all t e every track off Yes, Virginia on KRCX Conquerors" out there .... 93.9 FM, cable channel 14, or online @ academic.regis.edu/krcx. ruesdaY, March 28, 2006 -- Page 7 Campus Events MoundT()WD - Is Female to Male... / Loyola 27 8:00 - "Retreat in the Workday•/ Mtn v· . . 1ew 10:00 am - A WomanJeswt? luncheon/ Fae . lng. noon - Ger~ Table~ Ranger Grille I2:IS pm The Confederate States of America / Starz Film - Fr. David Flermng, SJ / St. Ignatius Chrc. 7:00 p Why We Fight I Starz Film Center Sorry Haters / Starz Film Center ay. \lan:h 29 - Great Women _Prayer / Pilgrim Chapel ll:30 Now-March 31 Mystic India / Phipps IMAX - Gender Issues m Kids Literature / ALC 3 2:30 pm Wired to Win: Tour de France / Phipps IMAX - Tough Guise / Loyola 5 :00 6 Now-Aprill Choreographer s Showcase Ellie Caulkins - Women Making a Difference / Mtn View 7:30 :m Now-April 2 Cindarella / Ellie Caulkins Now-April 22 The Ladies of Camellias Space Theatre - Urban Plunge Now-April 29 The Patsy Decline Show Clocktower Cabaret March 24-April 22 The Clean House Stage Theatre - Suicide &: Mental Disorders / ALC Amp. 5:00 pm Now-May 5 Alexander, Who s Not Going To Move / Arvada - Sedar Meal / Faculty Lounge 5:30 p Now-May 21 The Second City: Red Scare / Gardner Galleria Now-May 28 See Into Liquid / Museum of Contempoary Art Now-July 23 Body Worlds 2 / Museum of Nature&: Science CO>JCERTS March 29 Michael Buble / Buell Theatre 8:00pm March 30 James Blunt / Paramount Theatre 7:30pm March 31 Ben Harper / Fox Theatre 9:00pm .·. April I Ben Harper / Fox Theatre 9:00pm B~.\S EB ALL I April 2 Guster / Boulder Theater 7:00 pm March 31 Colorado School of Mines April I Colorado School of Mines (DH) I PROFESSIO~AL SPORTS April 2 Colorado School of Mines March 28 Anaheim Mighty Ducks at Avalanche 7:00pm April 7 Metropolitan State College March29 Utah Jazz at Nuggets 8:00 pm April 8 Metropolitan State College (DH) March 31 Minnesota Timberwolves at Nuggets 7:00 pm April 9 Metropolitan State College April I Nashville Kats at Crush 6:30pm April 14 Colorado Christian (DH) April 2 Arizona Sting at Mammoth 7:00 pm April 3 Arizona Diamondbacks at Rockies 2:00pm . -~~-- _ SOFTBALL j Chicago Blackhawks at Avalanche 7:00 pm March 28 Colorado School of Mines (DH) 1:00 pm April I Nebraska-Kearney (DH) April 2 Nebraska-Kearney (DH) April 5 at Colorado School of Mines (DH) Classifieds April 8 Fort Hays State University (DH) University Ministry April 9 Fort Hays State University (DH) \\ :\ITRESS ".'\:EEDED has separate Men's and Women's Retreat For ncwh- rcmoddcd ta,·crn on April 8-9. on weekend:- and Spacing is limited so -.pccial c,·cnt-.. sign up soon! Learn more about your gender CalJ: 720-29S-65~i at Wilmington College and make some lasting at Philadelphia University friendships! Last Call . ,

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Across 6 1 1· Bring forth· from the egg 21. Ecstatic joy 5. Slides 24. Capital of Tibet 9· Reflected sound 26. Slovenian money 4 3 10. Rock 28. Endocrine gland 11. Rips 29. Fog 13. Crest 30. Brushed Solutions for this week s crossword and Sudoku 15 · Eighth planet 31. Ships floors puzzles can be found at www.regishighlander.com 16. Lees