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The Chariot Edition 6 Pokémon Edition

The Marketing Strategies of Pokémon The Peculiar Gaming Youngster Joey

by Joe Cullen

The non-player characters in Pokémon are always interesting. Some have legitimately well-written dialogue that makes players chuckle; others are so bizarre that they garner only cringes. A few characters, however, straddle this line with ambiguity. Perhaps best known for this is Youngster Joey of the Johto Pokémon games. Encountered on Route 30 of Johto, Joey battles with only a level 4 Rattata. To battle with such a weak Pokémon is like trying to come back from a 28-3 deficit in the Super Bowl (oh wait–maybe that’s not the best example). Anyways, what he lacks for in good Pokémon he makes up for in confidence, claiming in his constant it is already an entirely new game. either: Lucasfilm and Disney used by Josiah Taylor phone calls to the player that his This is shown through Pokémon. it in the new Star Wars movies to Rattata is in “the top percentage of The conformity of the mainline please fans by replicating major Geographical landscape Rattata.” story mode among the games is plot points. Just search up any plays an immense role in the Ignoring the fact that a young kid e a s i l y m a s k e d b y t h e YouTube video on Star Wars development of settlements and is constantly harassing the player with implementation of different regions conspiracies and you will be sure guides the interaction of humans his incessant phone calls, Youngster (maps). , the developer of to find it there. But anyway, what is with the environment. This can be Joey’s representation of his Rattata as Pokémon, increases its sales it that makes these new releases displayed by the various early a statistic signifies his commoditization using this method. In each game, appealing if we can already predict civilizations of human history, of Pokémon. In a world where trainers the player must complete 8 gyms that we are buying a game we which based their industries and seek to bond with their Pokémon, (each is a set of Pokémon battles), already played, or a “remastered” markets on local resources, or can Youngster Joey cares only about his defeat the Elite 4 (the final “Gym” version of an old movie? The even be simply displayed by small Rattata for its status among other if you will) and capture a special human brain finds ease in the communities of villages and towns Rattatas. Pokémon (commonly known as a recognition of patterns, and that establish their own niches For a young child such as Joey, legendary Pokémon, which is functions very well when they are based on their location. The such treatment of his Rattata may unique to each game). This format present. It even releases a subject of geographical impact is s e e m b e n i g n . B u t c o u l d h i s is used in every popular Pokémon pleasing shock through your body of so much interest that modern objectification of his Rattata be a red game created. The only difference when you can predict the future game developers use it as the flag for future problems? Joey’s is the map in which it is played. events based on patterns. This is basis of most video games, most obsession with proving himself as a This allows Nintendo to pull in the core theme behind the commonly in sandbox games. This trainer, coupled with his fixation on his massive profits with minimal work enjoyment of not only the common theme is essential to Rattata, could be the root of his future while still managing to create the Pokémon games, but also any these games: Developers can psychological problems. As he games everyone loves. Nintendo game or movie. create a new landscape and alter unsuccessfully tries to prove his isn’t the only company utilizing this small details in their storyline and (continued on page 5)

Joe Cullen exposes the creepiness of Cameron the Photographer. Bob Simpson discusses the struggle of the proletariat against the Page 2 bourgeoisie in Pokémon. Pages 4 and 5

Luke Cibulsky reveals some of the scientific fallacies within the Pokémon Ben Chen provides some epic fan fiction. universe. Starting on Page 3 Page 7 2 www.mcall.com and SoulSilver–stand out among other mini-games throughout the their peers. series. Making Poffins and Childhood HeartGold Going into my first play- performing in contests are two of through of the games as a ten the most painstakingly boring mini- Pokémon and year-old, I lacked the nostalgia games I’ve ever seen in a SoulSilver many held from playing the Pokémon game–let alone any Nostalgia original Johto games. game. But Pokéathlons–athletic Nevertheless, these new games competitions between the are the Best quickly endeared themselves to Pokémon where the player uses by Joe Cullen Pokémon me through their plentiful the stylus to control the Pokémon– features, which combined to are more captivating than their I remember the first time I played a Games create an utterly charming counterparts. Pokémon game. I was 6 years old, an experience. Overall, however, what sets exuberant kindergartner. Over the Adding Pokémon following HeartGold and SoulSilver apart previous few months, I had flipped through by Joe Cullen their trainers on the map was an from the rest of the games is their every page of a Pokémon book I received awesome feature. Though a sheer amount of content. With 2 as a gift. Instantly, the otherworldly seemingly miniscule addition–all it regions–as compared to the For many, the Pokémon that littered the page took a hold a f f e c t s i s t h e o v e r w o r l d normal number of 1–to explore, series has brought fond over my imagination: I was hooked. appearance–it brought a sense of there is twice as much to do. memories, whether on the old So when my parents gifted me a grey personality to Whereas other Pokémon games and Pokémon the games. struggle with post-game content, or on the LeafGreen for my birthday, I was No longer HeartGold and SoulSilver allow Nintendo overjoyed: I probably shattered my were the the player to travel into the Kanto 3DS. parents’ eardrums with how loudly I g a m e ’ s region, where 8 more gym Thus, shrieked in excitement. For a young kid Pokémon leaders, some legendary choosing with an overactive imagination and too just spirits Pokémon, and the trainer Red a favorite much free time, Pokémon was a godsend. with which await. Pokémon Unsurprisingly, every waking hour I you fought I could go on all day raving game is a wasn’t eating, drinking, going to school, or battles. over Pokémon HeartGold and bit like watching football became devoted to Rather, SoulSilver, but just take my word choosing Pokémon. Though I wasn’t particularly allowing for it–they’re the best games. a favorite sure what I was doing–I spent 5 hours of Pokémon to Whether you’re an experienced child: It’s difficult to pick a game time in Pallet Town figuring out how follow their trainers delivered a Pokémon player or a newcomer to favorite. But personally, among to progress, and another 40 leveling up sense of camaraderie to the the series, they offer the best the many enjoyable Pokémon my Pokémon against Magikarps so that series. combination of in-game content games I’ve played, the Johto they wouldn’t permanently die of Furthermore, the Pokéathlon and in-game experience of the remakes–Pokémon HeartGold poisoning in the next gym–I loved every mini-game is a lot better than the entire Pokémon series. moment of the game. Now seventeen going on eighteen, I look back on those days with nostalgic fondness. No longer do I play Pokémon Cameron the “Hello, just when you least gain in the player’s lack of with such regularity, but it still holds a expect it! I am Cameron the comfort. special place in my heart. Throughout my Photographer: Photographer. You look so Additionally, Cameron is adolescence, many things changed: who I photogenic! Why not have a never seen taking pictures of spent time with, what I did in my free time, Not Rated E picture taken?” anybody besides the player. This my priorities, etc. But one thing remained On the surface, Cameron’s single-minded focus on the constant: Pokémon. Ever since I first laid for Everyone s e r v i c e s s e e m t o t a l l y player manifests itself into a hands on that Game Boy, Pokémon has innocuous. He’s just a man creepy obsession; why doesn’t been a part of my life. Of course, there trying to make a living through Cameron take interest in anyone were occasional breaks: I’d occasionally his photography; moreover, else in the Pokémon world? become bored with the game, or I’d buckle by Joe Cullen his photography itself is harmless There are many ways to explain under the social stigma of being a middle- and the photos C a m e r o n ’ s schooler who still plays Pokémon. Imagine: a balding, middle- go back to the behavior, but In hindsight, I realize that my aged man stalking 10 year-olds player. But none exude aversion to playing Pokémon because of throughout the country to take beneath this a n a i r o f what other people thought was ridiculous. pictures of them. In today’s façade lies a normality. Pokémon is childish–so what? It’s been a society, that would violate scary reality. Undoubtedly, fundamental part of my childhood. To many laws, in addition to being Firstly, why people wish lambast Pokémon for its superficial really creepy. But in the does Cameron many aspects juvenility is missing the point. Something P o k é m o n w o r l d , t h i s i s embrace the of the so innocuous as fictional monsters being seemingly acceptable: Meet unexpected Pokémon used in battle in a video game has Cameron the Photographer. nature of his world could managed so leave such a big impact on In Pokémon HeartGold and photography be true of our so many people’s lives. So for that, thank SoulSilver, Cameron the by exclaiming, “just when you world as well. But there is also at you, Pokémon: You’ve meant more to me– Photographer will meet the least expect it?” He seems to least one that we could do and millions of others–than you could ever character at various regions enjoy catching the player off- without: Cameron the imagine. throughout the Johto and guard as if there’s something to Photographer. Kanto regions, proclaiming, handy when in the heat of battle, walking through a region while they rod? This age-old implement has 3 The Most and Poké Balls are a symbol for could be exploring another one. brightened the lives of hundreds of trainers around the world, but what Plus, they can seriously help a trainers but is rarely acknowledged Underrated about some of the trainer when they’re in as the true hero that it is. lesser recognized a pinch, for example, Last but by no means least, a Items in the implements? Hold if they were to upset trainer’s bag is easily one of the your shiny Poké a hive of Buzzdrills. most important pieces of equipment Pokémon B a l l s a n d y o u r Despite their obvious a trainer has. A bag stores Universe berries sweet, let’s upside, they tend to Pokémon, supplies, and most take a moment to g e t v e r y l i t t l e importantly, all of the sub-bags that recognize what we recognition. hold things like the far more well- by Thomas Foster may mistreat. Next, the fishing recognized medicines, berries, and First up, the r o d . H o w m a n y Poké Balls! running shoes and trainers would have An honorable mention goes to The Pokémon universe is b i c y c l e s . E v e r y n e v e r m e t t h e i r the gym badge holder, which is a home to hundreds of different items trainer has them, aquatic companions way for trainers to show their status that can help both trainers and their and oh how they without this useful and preserve the spoils of their Pokémon, both in battle and on the speed things up. little gadget? And victories, as well as the dowsing road. Sadly, there are a few critical These items are how many aquatic machine, which helps trainers find items that many trainers take usually acquired early in a trainer’s Pokémon would be overflowing our all the aforementioned, far better entirely for granted. Sure, certain journey, and they help trainers avoid reservoirs without trainers to remove known, items in the Pokémon world. berries and medicines come in having to squander their lives slowly them with the aid of a trusty fishing

animals with “special” attacks. The Two summers ago, when Pokémon rolling down their necks. I digress. As Poke-Your-Mom idea of Pokémon has managed to Go was the new craze, I found an outsider to Pokémon, I hope to swindle millions of dollars from myself in a bubble of one day understand Americans every year, somehow isolation as I wondered the craze over a by Ben Kuhn convincing children that by yelling an why all my friends ridiculous game that attack move printed on a card, an found it appealing to h a s l i t t l e t o n o Growing up, I have been invisible creature could in fact get bike around to catch foundation on actual exposed to many fads relating to the harmed. If anything, Bakugan should an imaginary animal logic or tangibility, and pop cultures of my generation, most have gained more traction because digitally and use it to I s u p p o r t a n d of which I was more than happy to at least it featured action figures and duel others. recognize my fellow hop on the bandwagon for. However, a competent TV show, which were Everyone’s priorities acquaintances who I was and still remain estranged from admittedly pretty cool. Granted, I did that summer were to have followed my Pokémon, a foreign realm that has not have a Nintendo DS to get find a Pokéstop or a footsteps in abstaining always been too outlandish to peak hooked on the various Pokémon gym to train their from Pokémon. my interest. I have not been able to games that are beloved to so many, Pokémon when they Not sure how good this find the appeal in holding a fistful of but just watching people play those should have been going to a real is but it’s my best 11:55 PM effort. cards tarnished with deformed useless games was enough to turn gym to lay down on a bench and rep me away from the world of Pokémon. 8 sets of 15 with pounds of sweat

have ever played a Pokémon game and adding on new ones. They are There’s a bit of a problem with Pokémon’s for longer than 20 minutes, you undergoing sudden and drastic this “Pokémon evolution equals should be quite familiar with the idea changes to their anatomy to metamorphosis” theory. It’s true that Evolution Makes of evolution. Once a accomplish in almost every way, it’s just an Pokémon reaches a something bigger organism moving along its biological No Sense certain level, it and better. The process as it reaches maturity so it “evolves,” changing biological process can fulfill its logical roles. However, by Luke Cibulsky into a more powerful of metamorphosis there is one key factor that sets form. i s m o r e w h a t Pokémon apart: time. You see Anyone who has these creatures Pokémon evolution happens nearly I am, by all definitions, a nerd. taken Bio 1 knows mirror. So what— instantaneously, unlike So when asked by Joe Cullen to s o m e t h i n g i s o f f Pokémon undergo metamorphosis which takes days, write Pokémon articles for The about that. Evolution metamorphosis— weeks, or even months to be fully Chariot, I figured it would be a perfect i s a b o u t n a t u r a l what’s the big realized. Metamorphosis requires a time to break out my old DS Lite and selection choosing deal? I’ll tell you huge investment of energy. Just think boot up the game I’ve have since I t h e t r a i t s m o s t the big deal— about how fat a caterpillar is and the was 7: Pokémon Diamond. I started sustainable to their while this may be tiny creature of a butterfly that comes a whole new game file and began my environment and true, the Poké out. The big problem with Pokémon journey once again. After just passing them down process shown in is one simple law: the conservation of completing the first portion of the from generation to generation. But these games is key to what makes mass. game, a familiar screen came. My this isn’t what Pokémon do. They Pokémon a lot more terrifying than (continued on page 6) Piplup was evolving. And then aren’t spending thousands of years just fire-breathing dragons. suddenly it hit me: Pokémon slowly shaving off inadequate traits evolutions make no sense. If you 4 Serving as the quintessential coupled with a seemingly to the nefarious robbers of the symbol of the show, the Poké Ball reasonable standard of living. Cinnabar Mansion. The Pokémon also infuses a hidden message of However, when viewed in a broader On the topic of criminal activity, Socialist superiority. Think. What context, these numerous benefits no group is more infamous than the Manifesto does a Poké Ball look like? In its only act as a mirage to disguise a l e g e n d a r y Te a m R o c k e t , a n simplest form, a Poké Ball can be truly frightening reality. Both organization that serves as the described as a circle a n t i t h e s i s o f t h e with the top half red and Pokémon world, being by Bob Simpson the bottom half white. the last capitalist Now consider this: During stronghold. While Team I still remember bursting out of the Russian Revolution, Rocket gets a bad rap bed as a 6 year old at 6 AM on the Bolsheviks, identified (leaving them unable to weekday mornings to tune in to as the Reds, defeated the move for 2-5 turns), reruns on Cartoon Network of that loyalists that still there is never any true scrawny little rodent thing—and supported the Tsar, e v i d e n c e o f t h e i r —in their quest to “Catch identified as the Whites, supposedly nefarious ‘Em All” (which after 20 seasons has and established a deeds. According to the not been accomplished yet— Socialist regime under authorities, such as the shocking…). With many years to Vladimir Lenin. With this Officer Jenny clones, reflect upon the experiences of my in mind, isn’t the Poké Te a m R o c k e t h a s youth, I had ample time to mull over Ball, where Red is above c o m m i t t e d h e i n o u s the enigma that is the Pokémon White, a nod to the Red crimes from Pokémon franchise. This gradual accumulation A r m y C o m m u n i s t s trafficking to illegal of whimsical wisdom led me to this defeating the White Army experimentation and are g r a n d e p i p h a n y ( a n d i t ’ s a counterrevolutionaries? the bane of the world’s slobberknocker): The World of By using the Poké Ball to existence. However, Pokémon is one wet, hot American capture the Pokémon would any organization Sum—errr big, fat Greek wed—no bourgeoisie, the trainer proletariat healthcare and the police force are so evil really hire the bumbling triad wait…oh what were the words…ah slowly ingrained the image of their completely under the control of a of idiots in Jesse, James, and yes, glaring and corrupt Communist supremacy over the Pokémon, who, government that resorted to , whose greatest crimes are dystopia. in turn, developed internal inferiority unethical cloning measures to sheer stupidity and stalking a 10 Mamma Slamma Jamma! Ja! complexes that aided in the prevent private citizens from year old boy? (OK, the latter sounds Ja! Ja! construction of their negative self- undertaking roles in the public pretty bad.) But consider the diction Contrarian? Yes. An Epileptic images as bestial creatures despite sector, thus absorbing the health within Team Rocket’s motto: Tree? Most Definitely. Farfetch’d? wielding vast powers and latent and safety sectors under federal Jessie: “To protect the world Well… abilities that far exceed that of the jurisdiction and granting the from devastation.” Let’s start from the beginning. proletariat humans. Thus, through government an unbelievable amount James: “To unite the people To fully comprehend my thesis, we the constant of power—arguably totalitarian in its within our nation.” must first exertion of their manner. Furthermore, both the Jessie: “To denounce the evils delve into the dominance over uniformity of the Poké Marts and of truth and love.” initial concept the bourgeoisie, their products from city to city as well James: “To extend our reach to of the series. the proletariat as the stringent price regulations all the stars above.” That is, to s u c c e s s f u l l y allude to intervention by a powerful Do these words of hope and capture developed and Socialist government that has justice truly belong to such an Pokémon. reinforced an completely eliminated the concept of organization as sinister as Team One of the enduring monopolistic competition and the Rocket has been described? What core tenets of master-slave market economy. Moreover, with this evil would try to save the planet from Marxist relationship—or revelation comes the startling lack of apocalypse and remove the schisms ideology is for i n t h e i r basic supplies necessary for that divide countries? And is the proletariat Communist survival, such as food and water, reaching for the stars and pursuing to overthrow lexicon—a bond Poké Marts despite being the only your dreams and ambitions really all the between trainer convenience stores available that bad? Even the most cryptic part bourgeoisie, and Pokémon. worldwide. This explains Pikachu’s of Team Rocket’s message, “To who hold Now the most gradual decline in weight over the denounce the evils of truth and complete disturbing part years as while it started out as an l o v e , ” i s o b v i o u s g i v e n t h e power in the of my argument electrifyingly plump mouse, it has appropriate lens. “The evils of truth economy and is that Pokémon been reduced to its current gaunt and love” seems like an oxymoronic have total n o t o n l y pale yellow state. This also explains statement, but Jesse and James are control over e m b o d i e s the nomadic—nigh anarchical in fact strongly condemning the the means of h e a v i l y societal structure present within injustices of socialist autocracy. production. Are Communist elements, but that this is Pokémon as over 90% of the “How?” You ask. Simple. Anyone Pokémon, who were the original also of a dystopian and corrupt population are forced to become who has read George Orwell’s 1984 inhabitants of the planet and thus at nature. Naysayers will point towards roaming trainers that engage in knows of the notorious Ministries of one point in time had full access to Poké Centers as a form of universal cockfighting to scrap meager Truth and Love (Minitrue and Miniluv the Earth’s natural resources, not healthcare supplemented by low earnings from each other just to in Newspeak). Both ministries are akin to a bourgeoisie overtaken by prices of goods in Poké Marts. maintain homeostasis. Crime— misnomers with Minitrue revising envious proletariat human trainers? Additionally, regions such as Kanto especially of the organized variety— history and records to match the This idea is most epitomized through and Johto seem to have relative is rampant throughout Pokémon rhetoric and beliefs of the power- the device used to catch the social equality with prejudice society, from the barbaric biker hungry Party while Miniluv uses Pokémon themselves: the Poké Ball. amongst people rarely (if at all) seen gangs on Cycling Road (Route 17) (continued on page 5) 5

(continued from page 4) Team Rocket. James is a former impossibility. He is Pallet Town’s as the foundation of his revolutionary brutal torture and fear- member of the aristocratic bourgeois pariah, not particularly well-liked (only brand of Communism, epitomized by conditioning to entrench unwavering elite that was forced to abandon his pitied for his poverty), of an unknown the destruction of the bike and loyalty towards Big Brother. Likewise, fortune through proletarian patriarchal lineage, and quite ordinary thereby the elimination of the need Team Rocket denouncing “truth and intervention. Jesse was a poor girl in every way. While Ash aspires to for material wealth. Only then does love” is also intentionally misleading who through her own independent become a Pokémon master like Gary, Ash’s journey truly begin. All of this as they are in fact decrying the willpower overcame her poverty to Ash’s inferiority complex towards culminates into the first episode’s a t r o c i t i e s become a high- Gary resigns him to the impossibility ending of the majestic golden bird, committed by the standing of his goal, leaving Ash to lament his unidentified via Pokédex, that brings corrupt m e m b e r i n circumstances. Hence, from a forth a rainbow while soaring away in Communist world Team Rocket. young age the distant sky. The order. Cycling M e o w t h ’ s (although this golden bird (Ho-oh to b a c k t o t h e backstory also n e v e r those uninformed o d d i t y o f t h e f o l l o w s t h e c h a n g e s readers) has dual a l w a y s j o y f u l rags to riches anyways), Ash symbolism. It not only demeanor and archetype to a questions the ironically presents the polite behavior of tee. He is the disparity of idyllic utopia that the average only Pokémon wealth in the C o m m u n i s m i s Pokémon citizen, able to obtain capitalist supposed to produce the reasoning a n y s o r t o f system that in its perfect form b e h i n d t h e i r social mobility only seems to d e s p i t e i t s actions are clear. w h i c h w a s p e r p e t u a l l y enormously flawed To not act jovial done through reward the reality, but also and satisfied in language legacy of the r e p r e s e n t s A s h ’s front of the acquisition and elite (Oak to search for his own m i l l i o n s o f attainment of Gary) rather identity and purpose, viewers would higher order than support with the bird bearing result in certain thinking only those poor like many similarities to a death—if not possible himself. His Phoenix alluding to worse through Team faith in the concept of rebirth consequences. Rocket. capitalism is and renewal also Why does Ash forever remain a 10 Together, their avarice may seem further shaken indicative of the name year-old boy? The government has sinful, but is only a reflection of their through his Ash. Ash’s last name, so distorted history that the concept ambition and desire for success, bond (or lack Ketchum, is not the of time has become meaningless. aspects of the central axioms of thereof) with simple pun many take The rigid uniformity and monotonous capitalistic thought. It is only fitting Pikachu. Upon it to be, but is rather lifestyle of Pokémon’s citizens are that this trio’s foil is additionally the obtaining an amalgamation of also a product of the annihilation of main character of the Communist Pikachu, a two Communist their individuality at the hands of a dystopia, . symbol of the fallen Pokémon ideologues: Karl Marx and Friedrich oppressive totalitarian regime. The son of a hard-working yet bourgeoisie, it is clear that there is a Engels. A simple rearrangement of So of course this Socialist financially struggling single mother, disconnect between Pokémon and the bolded letters produces KichEM autocracy would reject Team Rocket. Ash’s childhood has been mired in trainer. Pikachu refuses to obey any which when phonetically distorted These capitalist freedom fighters poverty and jealousy of his rich and of Ash’s commands, such as going changes to simply Ketchum. Thus, present the greatest threat to their popular rival Gary. Gary represents inside the oppressive Poké Ball, and Ash Ketchum is semantically the dominion and power. Thus, the everything Ash is not. Gary drives a constantly attempts to murder Ash via second coming of Marx and Engels— government decided to spread false shiny red convertible and is electric shock. Ash subsequently and the story of Ash’s journey: the propaganda—fake news, if you will— constantly surrounded by pretty realizes that the bourgeoisie and the Pokémon Manifesto. about Team Rocket being the root of cheerleaders. Gary is the hometown proletariat can never cooperate; they all malevolence and evil which the hero and grandson of Professor Oak, will always be in discord. Reaching a ***Stay tuned for next year’s numb and ignorant citizens promising a legacy of success and new level of self-disparagement, Ash issue detailing the corporate voraciously ate up. However, societal much admiration from Pallet Town’s resorts to the petty theft of a passing imperialism of Thomas the Tank outcasts attracted to the allure of inhabitants. On the other hand, Ash girl’s bike to validate his existence Engine.*** capitalistic opportunity still managed cannot even comprehend owning a only to later be thunderstruck with a to slip through the cracks and join car given his age and its financial eureka moment, which would serve

(continued from page 1) player character, he declares, “I just Rather, they are tools through which when Youngster Joey grows up to be superiority over other trainers, lost, so I’m trying to find more he can try to exercise power over the ruthless head of a criminal his lack of success could form the Pokémon. Wait! You look weak! others. This sociopathic use of organization–it all started with just basis of an inferiority complex. Come on, let’s battle!” Pokémon as instruments of power– one Rattata. Moreover, he tries to use his For Joey, Pokémon are not instead of friends–suggests a Pokémon to capitalize upon others’ friends through whom he can find disturbing future for this young meme weaknesses: Upon first seeing the personal growth and fulfillment. of a trainer. So don’t be surprised 6 strategy, they can be taken down. Pokémon that I use in battle are use a Pokémon of the same gender How To: Clefairy tends to be easy to defeat, usually weak to rock-type moves, so as Miltank as well as a Pokémon but it usually takes a Pokémon or rollout just destroys my Pokémon. that isn’t affected by rock-type Goldenrod two to take down. By the time Whitney is a very tough gym moves. The move attract is only Miltank comes out, my strongest leader, but if you plan out your effective against Pokémon of the Pokémon are usually low on HP, opposite gender, so if you City Gym so it becomes a challenge. Miltank send out a Pokémon of has a lot of HP and has the strong the same gender, attract moves: milk drink, rollout and does nothing. Flying, ice, by Ryan Vargo attract. Rollout is a rock-type move bug, and fire are weak to that attacks with more power each rock-type moves, so The Pokémon games have turn. Attract is a normal-type move make sure to not use any been built around one main story t h a t m a k e s t h e o p p o n e n t ’ s of those Pokémon. My line: capture Pokémon, battle other Pokémon not be able to attack a favorite starter Pokémon trainers, collect gym badges, and percentage of the time. Milk drink is so I use it stop Team Rocket (or the other restores a lot of users’ HP. The against Miltank as long as enemy teams). Gym battles are one combination of these moves is it’s the same gender. of the most entertaining and deadly. Whitney tends to use attract The best way to defeat challenging aspects of the games, first to make your Pokémon fall in Whitney is by using a few and some of them are tougher than love with Miltank. She then attack, she can be defeated. There decent Pokémon to take out others. In my opinion, Whitney from alternates between milk drink and are ways to take down Miltank, you Clefairy, then sending in your best Goldenrod City in Pokémon rollout. This alternation revives just need to find its Achilles heel. to take down Miltank. Once Miltank HeartGold/SoulSilver is the most Miltank and attacks its foe. It’s very The only way to stop milk drink is by is sent in, use block to stop her from difficult leader. hard to remove a lot of its HP using moves that block the trainer using rollout. Then send in your The one-two punch of Clefairy because you can only attack a from using that move. So use block designated Pokémon (Chikorita) to and Miltank is a tough duo. These percentage of the time, and then or another move to stop Whitney take down Miltank, and collect your two Pokémon are a challenging Miltank uses milk drink to regain the from restoring Miltank’s HP. Next, gym badge. couple to defeat, but with the right HP lost from the attack. My when battling Miltank, make sure to

(continued from page 3) phosphorus at 20%, and then a really would be sucking in all most water-rich source available and Put simply, conservation of steep drop-off to carbon and calcium available oxygen within a radius of that Pokémon is going to squeeze mass means that you can’t get at 8% each. The rest aren’t even 6.5 meters in a matter of seconds. you dry like a sponge. something from nothing and you worth talking about. And for hydrogen, things look Gyarados is only one extreme can’t turn something into nothing. If Now there is no physical way a incredibly bad. You see you may example of a Pokémon evolving. Any you want to make something bigger 10 kilogram fish could possibly think that water vapor will take care Pokémon undergoing such a fast you have to take from something else change into a massive sea dragon in of it, but even on the most humid change like this would be like a hand and if you want to make something seconds. To do this the days you’re looking at 200 grenade going off as it immediately smaller you have to put it somewhere would need to suck up nearly 200 PICOgrams of hydrogen per cubic sucks in all available nutrients and else. This is why teenagers have kilograms of garbage in its near kilometer. That means in order to get elements in the vicinity. Evolution such a large appetite. Their bodies vicinity. I’m talking about dirt, air, enough hydrogen to build this dragon would burst pipes in local buildings to aren’t used to the insane growth rate grass, trees, in mere get in their water, kill other Pokémon and need a crazy amount of energy. and buildings. moments in the areas as it robs them of their What a caterpillar does over a week, Most of the t h i s vital vitamins and minerals, destroy though, a Pokémon does in seconds, things that are Magikarp eardrums from the massive blast sucking up all available nutrients to on our list are is going differentials formed from huge fulfill its huge requirement of its in our world in to have volumes of the local atmosphere metamorphosis. All Pokémon are abundance. to pull immediately collapsing, blasting different but to understand the Carbon, hydrogen holes in the ground 6 meters deep, terrifying implications of this process, calcium, f r o m and send all rejected elements flying we’re going to look at one of my potassium, e v e r y out in all directions at high fractions favorite Pokémon, Magikarp. sulfur, available of the speed of light, ionizing nearby Magikarp is amazing. In just a magnesium, n e a r b y atoms and sending gamma radiation few seconds it goes from being the and iron are source. and hurling debris into anyone foolish most useless piece of garbage in the all in dirt A n y enough to not hit that B button to game to one of the most powerful alone. The source cancel the evolution as quickly as Pokémon in the game. Magikarp’s real problem within a possible. The world of Pokémon design, as the name suggests, is comes from 230 would start looking a lot less like a based on carp. In the fish world, hydrogen and billion beautiful rural Japan and a lot more carps weigh about 10 kilograms. oxygen, which kilometer like the post-apocalyptic space of a Upon evolution, Magikarp becomes a make up most radius is war zone, full of irradiated crates and 235 kilogram Gyarados, an increase of our colossal f a i r nutrient hungry monsters. Forget of over 2000%. Now to get this beast. The game, dog-fighting analogies, Pokémon science to work in the real world we truth of the and themselves are black holes of have to break down what an actual matter is that because destruction, pretending to be cute carp is made up of. Thankfully, the air we breathe is mostly nitrogen there’s not hydrogen in the open air, just long enough for them to turn into someone else has already done the with a quarter of it being oxygen, and you’d better hope to God that there’s implosive tiny nuclear bombs before work. Oxygen and hydrogen together at sea level there’s only a quarter of a barrel full of water between you emerging as something even more make up 58% of all the carp’s a kilogram of oxygen per cubic meter. and that Magikarp when it evolves. terrifying. So think about running the required elements by mole. Next is In order to get all the molecules, our Because guess what—you’re the next time your Magikarp hits level 20. 7

or TV series. Throughout middle wanted while taking breaks to should have spent paying attention, What Pokémon school this was the only problem I catch wild Pokémon or explore the playing the ever addicting game, encountered with not catching wild Pokémon and Did to Me having played or fighting gym leaders over and watched Pokémon. over. With every defeat, I Once I got to Junior reached closer to another gym High, the class of badge, and the final goal of by Colin Campbell 2019 got iPads and becoming the ultimate Pokémon being 7th graders, the master. This game changed Growing up, I never had a first thing many people several parts of my life but the Game Boy or DS, so I never had did was download part it held the most influence the chance to play Pokémon. Many games. The Game with was the summer Pokémon people would consider me deprived Boy Emulator became Go came out. I finally knew all of the true childhood experience, popular around this the Pokémon, and could run as much of their lives were spent time, so many people around the neighborhood playing and/or watching Pokémon. downloaded it, myself knowing exactly what I was This really did not affect me much included. This was my racing to catch. In the end, until middle school, the golden age first time playing playing Pokémon didn’t help of Pokémon card trading. I did not Pokémon. I remember boost my grades, make me any really have the same level of very vividly the game new friends, or make me better knowledge or depth of w a s P o k é m o n at time management, but it kept understanding that most of the LeafGreen; this game my mind entertained and opened other kids did. I collected cards was awe-inspiring to me a door to a whole new realm of because they were either cool or somewhat large and pixelated 2D and changed my life for the better. world was amazing. I spent games and stories. super rare, not because they were Being able to follow the story as I one of my favorites from the game countless hours in class that I

year. Many of them were “That sounds like a great them to a crisp. It’s super effective! An Extended groggy and disoriented and idea!” squeaked Piplup as the used Leech Seed on the definitely weren’t looking president continued speaking. training pools and spawned Winter Break forward to today. Piplup, Bulbasaur gave in: “Fine, let’s hundreds of weeds into the water. Bulbasaur, and sat do it. We should go now while the It’s super effective! Piplup used together and Bubble on the floor and by Benjamin Chen ignored the made the ground p r e s i d e n t ’ s slippery. I t ’s s u p e r ‘Twas the day after Christmas message. effective! The deed was break and all the Pokémon had to “ P s s t ! ” done. The three go back to Pokémon School. C h a r m a n d e r Pokémon strutted out of Piplup’s friends, Bulbasaur and whispered quietly the room in style back to Charmander, really did not want to as the president t h e i r s e a t s i n t h e back to school. w a s s p e a k i n g . auditorium. “Peep peep PEEEEP peeep!” “Guys, I have an After the President of expressed Piplup to her friends as idea to get a few the training gym finished they walked into the training m o r e d a y s o f his message, one of the break!” j a n i t o r s w h i s p e r e d academy. Oh sorry, I forgot to translate “Oh, not something in his ear. He PokéSpeak into English and I again. Your ideas frowned and trudged broke my backspace key last week a l w a y s i n v o l v e s l o w l y b a c k t o t h e in a fit of anger. blowing up microphone. “The first day of school is the something.” replied “The equipment room is worst!” expressed Piplup to her Bulbasaur. c u r r e n t l y u n d e r friends as they walked into the “Come on, maintenance. There will training academy. Bulbasaur, don’t be gym trainers are still in the be no training this week.” The two friends nodded their such a party pooper. Hear me out. auditorium.” The whole Pokémon-filled heads in agreement. All the first We could sneak into the room The three mischievous gym roared in approval. That was stage evolution Pokémon filtered where the gym keeps all the Pokémon creeped into the how Piplup, Bulbasaur, and their way into the main auditorium training equipment and tamper with equipment storage area where they Charmander enjoyed another week to listen to the training academy them so they have to let us out!” planned to meddle with the training of winter break. president’s first message of the beamed Charmander. equipment. Charmander used ember on the ropes and burned 8 The Fun Page

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