The Production Posse's (and Scott's) "Whacky" Lyric o' the Week "I don't want to be tied up to motorboats anymore and draggedaround like afool; I want tojoin withJim and walk up and down the beach and step on pissclams." "Sol's Nude Beach" • The Jerky Boys

• "The tie thatthebinds since 1926" • Volume XXXV cord • Issue TwentyOne • Wednesday, February 8,1995 WLU Student Pubucations

CENSORED WLU: Censoring theInternet since 1992

SHELDON PAGE policy for dealing with newsgroups. "The sports I Cord news matter is still under discussion by the com- The issue of Internet newsgroup censorship mittee," said Smith. THISISSUE The hockey team won or restriction began at Laurier in the summer The three year delay in making a news- twice, and everyone else got of 1992 and has become an ongoing issue. group policy is twofold. The delay is "due You should have seen the cover we were going to sniucked. But it still makes The Senate Committee on Computing to a turnover in committee members and a run originally. Then we read up on the obscenity for a good read. Outside the Services is still in the process of designing a lack of prioritization of the issue," said laws in Canada, and realized, hmm...l don't think Lines is back. Oh joy. Oh policy to deal with the restriction of offen- Znotinas, who is a fonner chair of the com- so. But we think the graphic we chose still gets the bliss. Great commentary on sports right now, that sive newsgroups. mittee. message across. It's fine in a store if it's wrapped in gets a little bit sentimental. And another great A newsgroup is an electronic bulletin While a policy on newsgroups has not cellophane and put on the top shelf, but not if it commentary on Bill Clinton, my hero, dealing board available on the Internet. Laurier stu- been finalized, a method exists for restric- pops up on a personal computer screen? with the number one issue of the nation. dents can access these newsgroups through tive measures. "The VP: Academic is ulti- news entertainment their machl computer accounts. There are mately responsible [for restricting news- thousands of newsgroups available for group access]," said Smith. "In the past, it So, there is no reason to Big Sugar was sweet, viewing with topics ranging from discus- has been the VP: Academic in consultation expose and discuss homo- brought to you by our BSA, sions on the newest computer hardware to with the University's solicitor." phobia on campus? Amanda one of the Students' Union what to look for when buying a pair of skis. A hint as to the direction of the news- Dowling describes some of departments that is doing a Director of Computing and group policy might be found in a Senate the opinions that have been good job. A cute Valentine Communication Services, Dr. Nora Znotinas Committee of Computing Services recom- directed against that campaign. Great new com- cartoon by DHK...and speaking of Valentine's, and Chair of the Senate Committee on mendation paper entitled: puters in store for the Science students, and Rob don't forget to send in your Valentine messages Computing Services, Dr. Brian Smith react "Recommendations on Access to Network Glover tells us all about it. As for the Students' for next week's Cord to be printed in Classifieds. negatively to the suggestion that certain News". Recommendations two and three Union, first they're in, then they're out... Yeah, it'll be a little late, but love can wait, can't it? controversial newsgroups have been read as follows: 2) "Wilfrid Laurier opinion I two cents worth banned from campus. "Ban is a poor choice University adopt and widely publicize the of words," said Znotinas. "We are restricting principle that it is the user, not the Very interesting response If you see a bunch of strung access - you can get the groups from other University, who is responsible for his or her this week to the homopho- out, coffee junkies wander- sites." decision to read an article posted to an elec- bia campaign. As well, some ing aimlessly this weekend, Currently the newsgroups: alt.sex.bestial- tronic newsgroup." 3) "Wilfrid Laurier people were not pleased please help them. They're ity, alt.sex.bondage, alt.sex.motss [members University adopt and widely publicize the with last week's review of staff members from univer- of the same sex], alt.sex.pictures, alt.sex.pic- principle that, in posting an article to a Theatre Laurier. A great article by Peter Madaka sity newspapers from all across the province. This tures.d, alt.sex.stories, and alt.fan.karla- newsgroup, it is the user and not the Wanyama on Black History month, commenting weekend, your Cord is hosting a journalism con- homolka are not accepted for storage at University, who assumes responsibility for that this month is means more than just looking ference, with lots' o big time speakers. See inside. Laurier. Requests for access to the restricted its contents." back. Let's deal with today. access newsgroups for research purposes While the committee's meetings are not feature can be made to the Manager: User Support, open to the public, Smith said that interest- ...Where it's at... Computing and Communications Services. ed parties can request to be in attendance. action Laurier "People are not denied [their requests to It's election time, again. And Smith said that the has taken concerning the newsgroups is similar attend]," said Smith. look at all those eager feces, News 3 other The has repre- all 31 of them. Of course, International 8 to universities. "What WLU did was committee two student different than one ard one don't forget that acclaimed Feature 10 not other schools. It would be sentatives, undergraduate nice if universities had a common policy, graduate. Currently they are Allison Monroe Pubs BOD. Congratulations Opinion 14 but that won't happen," said Smith. (undergrad) and King (graduate) to the newly acclaimed stars. Maybe it'll be a race Sports 18 Jeff Since the initial newsgroup banning in The committee's next meeting is on next year, Heather. Stay tuned next week for the Entertainment 22 the Senate Committee of Computing February 15th and the newsgroup policy interviews with the candidates, and the election Neu Sappy Kitsch 26 1992, Services has been working on a definitive will probably be discussed. editorial from your friendly editorial board. Classifieds 27 Applications are being accepted for: Vice President Student Activities Vice President Marketing Vice President Finance Applications are available from 8:30 to 4:30 in the WLUSU main office. The deadline to hand applications in is: Tuesday, February 28, 1995 at noon to Mary Hughes. University Affairs Department

• Student Services Manager •Campus Clubs Coordinator •Laurier Students for Literacy *Campus Clubs Business Manager Coordinator *Foot Patrol Coordinator • Laurier Students for Literacy *Help Line Coordinator Volunteer Coordinator 'Environmental Coordinator • Safety & Equality Coordinator & Placement • Charity & Community Coordinator Relations Coordinator •Tutorial Services Coordinator •Legal Resource Coordinator •BACCHUS Coordinator Student Activities Department

• Board of Student Activities •Homecoming Coordinators Coordinators *Oktoberfest Coordinators • Shinerama Coordinators "Boar's Head Dinner Coordinators • Orientation Week 'Winter Carnival Coordinators Coordinators & Committee *Charity Ball Coordinators Members Marketing Department

• 2 Graphics Promotions *2 Public Relations Coordinators Coordinators 'Assistant to Vice President Marketing

Applications for coordinator positions are available from 8:30 to 4:30 in the WLUSU main office. Deadline to hand applications is Tuesday, March 7, 1995 at noon to Mary Hughes. NEWS Homophobic graffiti Defacement ofposters justifiespurpose ofcampaign

AMANDA DOWLING Assaults of this nature are not isolated assaults in the past. "They [homophobes] don't forth an argument without threatening peo- Cord News events on campus. According to McConnick, have to believe it; they don't have to practice ple's lives." WLU Students' Union's Anti-Homophobia gays, lesbians, and bisexuals at Laurier have it, but they should acknowledge the right of Jim Parrot of the Gay and Lesbian Campaign, held last week, met mixed reac- teen the target of death threats and physical others to practice it. There is a way to put Liberation at the University of Waterloo tion from Laurier's very "conservative" student (GGLOW) said in last Friday's Imprint that body. The campaign, which consisted of "there is no question that there is homopho- the distribution of posters and buttons across bia at Waterloo...but it is not nearly so campus focused on raising awareness and extreme as it is at Laurier." acceptance of sexual diversity at Laurier. Though WLUSU anticipated some back- Though much positive feedback was lash, it was not expected to be so severe. received, not all students were convinced to "Laurier seems to be a little slow on the "accept". social development side," said McCormick. Campaign backlash began hours after the He feels that education and awareness is the first batch of posters were put up. On key to greater acceptance of alternative Monday, slurs such as "gentellical throw back" lifestyles. "A lot of schools have been like and "faggitt" were scrawled across some this before. Laurier is just having growing posters; others had been torn down. pains." McCormick said that the defacement While the poster campaign was what showed the ignorance of the people who McCormick calls "a good start," additional committed the act. The fact that the words anti-homophobic action is planned for next written were both misspelled and grammati- year. With more Union money being direct- cally incorrect made the delacers doubly igno- ed towards the awareness program in the rant. "If you're going to call someone a fag- HENSEL fall, guest speakers, and similar educational got," said McCormick, "spell it right." events are in the works. Said McCormick: The vandalism was not the only homo- "We're not the thought police, but if you are "Your right to swing your arm ends when it hits someone's nose," said Scott MARION act displayed during the campaign. out to condemn a lifestyle, do it with a full phobic McCormick, Vice President of University Affairs. Many defaced posters, such who deck of information." Passersby verbally assaulted volunteers as this, have been pulled down by the Students' Union distributed buttons outside the Centre Spot. PICTURE: Jury still out on ICLRP Would a new loan system be the answer to ourprayers?

sentative of the Canadian ICLRP model that the government with its pro-ICLRP position. Its VP Association of. University Teachers, chooses to design. I don't know University Affairs Scott McCormick feels that an ICLRP system "would what people like the CFS, who supports ICLRP "in theory." He feels hinder accessibility for students, don't like ICLRP, who don't like any- that the proposed system will at the especially those from lower income thing; would want." same time increase accessibility and brackets" - - increase the debt load for students. Lorimer contends that the | The acid test for the proposed increased debt load would serve Newplan would 1 ICLRP system will be time; "we to discourage these students jj will have to see how it works," he considering an under- mean big debt- i said. ;fromgraduate degree. Also sup- But first an ICLRP model has to porting this same argument is load students : be made, and with Federal the Canadian Federation of for Finance Minister Paul Martin's Students (CFS), a national lobby Still concerned, Burns said that upcoming budget, and Ontario group representing 440,000 post- "I'll be frank, there are some ICLRP Education Minister Dave Cooke secondary students. models that are good for students, already making reforms to the edu- Not all student lobbies reject an and there are models that would be cation system, student lobbies will ICLRP system though. Mike Burns, bad for students." have to act fast to ensure their voic- Executive Director for the Ontario WLU Students' Union is a mem- es are heard in time to make a dif- Undergraduate Student Alliance ber of OUSA, and is comfortable ference. (OUSA), said that "if tuition goes up, it will affect access regardless of the loan system. But with an ICLRP sys- tem, people who need loans will get them." Vegas comes to WLU When asked if the large debt load that students would graduate with would scare off potential post- All we need now is Wayne Newton secondary students, Burns replied that "those who come out of univer- ROXANNE COPPENS Casino Night. Chips won were sity make more than those who Cord news used to bid on prizes instead of come out of college. This proves Gambling: it isn't just for Windsor being cashed because the event that it's worthwhile to take out the am more was not licensed. STEVE KARPIUK one proposed reform that could loan, it will pay dividends later." ! Jiuii-i .students also had tlioir However, there is anothei AND MARK HEASLEY potentially help students stay in Burns continued, "you pay back chance to spend money they didnt Casino Night scheduled for March Cord News school in the face of almost certain when you have the ability to pay have when on Mon. Feb. 6th the • 27th and this event will' be Dalton McGuinty, MPP Ottawa tuition increases. back. I don't really want to say it 1995 Graduating Class held a licensed. Winners will be able to South and Liberal education critic, 'Hie bare bones of an ICLRP is a like this, but it's risk free." Casino Night at the Turret. trade their chips in for cash. A $5 said that students will have to pay system where students wouldn't Another potential problem with The money raised helps to fund admission fee allows you twenty more for their education one way or start to pay back their student loans an ICLRP system, that 'the CFS Graduating Class events. One of chips to start off and then the bet- another. "In these times of fiscal until they made a set minimum points out, is that regardless of the Class' most highly anticipated ting is all up to you. restraint everyone will have to level of income after they graduate. whether or not a student has started events includes the GradFormal in Sue Roche, Executive in charge endure budget cutbacks, but no In theory, this would free up to pay back the loan, interest con- May. Any additional Bunding helps of fund raising, welcomes any particular group should be made to more money for more and bigger tinues to adds up on it. to support the Grad Class with ideas or suggestions students may absorb the majority of cut backs," loans which will be needed if On behalf of OUSA, Burns incidental fees and other special have for the Grad Class. Next he said. tuition does in fact increase. And acknowledged that ICLRP interest events week, the Grad Class will be selling "ICLRP", or Income Contingent this is where the contention begins. charges are a problem that had to Well over 100 students packed roses and carnations in the Loan Repayment Plans, has been Dr. Joyce Lorimer, WLU repre- be addressed. "It depends on the the Turret for the Grad Class' first

The Cord • News • February 8, 1995 • 3 Axworthy reforms uncertain Thefederal government might bail out ofsocialprograms altogether; students could benefit

THE VARSITY Lloyd Axworthy to cut federal sup- challenge of Quebec," he says. care," he said. "I think there's a chance the cuts University press Canadian port for post-secondary education "Block funding [will] roll in sec- It is uncertain whether this new will not he targeted on us as much TORONTO — The federal govern- are no longer relevant. ondary education and health care, idea of decentralizing, rather than [as with the Axworthy proposals]" ment's proposed cuts to education The federal government is now throwing them into one basket." cutting, education funding will be Martin said. are seemingly being overtaken by looking at ways to hand over con- If adopted, these new proposals better for students than Axworthy's But Martin agrees with events. trol of education and other social will pass the difficult decisions proposals, says student lobbyist McGuinty that Axworthy's idea of Recent press reports from programs completely to the about funding priorities from Rick Martin. balancing a significant cut in federal Ottawa say that the federal govern- provinces, he says. Ottawa to the provinces, McGuinty Martin, a spokesperson for the payments with a new income-con- ment may be leaning towards bail- Decentralizing social programs believes. Ontario Undergraduate Student tingent loan repayment (ICLR) form ing out of social programs altogeth- would reduce Ottawa's bottom line, "[We'll] have to be creative on Alliance (OUSA), says it's likely of student aid now seems unlikely. er, rather than cutting them. and might help win votes in how we use our resources on col- tuition will still rise, but possibly not "The huge increase followed by Dalton McGuinty, MPP for Quebec, which wants greater con- leges, universities and hospital as much. ICLRs seems to be dead," he says.

Ottawa South and provincial col- trol over spending, McGuinty — leges and universities critic for the believes. Ontario Liberals, says he believes "The social refonn agenda has proposals put forward by Human been taken over by national eco- Resources Development Minister nomics and the constitutional So, you wanna Career Services i$ looking for... STUDENT CAREER ASSISTANTS be a lawyer?

What it Involves: TOM HRUBES the employment market, it's attrac- This round of LSAT testing is just Volunteering three hours a week, from Cord news tive) that you can have a definitive the beginning for Ste. Marie. "You the other can as many September 1995 to April 1996,to assist This week the final round of LSAT job when you come out write times as you (Law School Admission Test) testing end. Ie: you're a lawyer." want. This isn't the only time I'm students with career planning and job search will take place. Mike Ste. Marie, a third year polit- going to write it." *planning and organizing special projects The LSAT is a test administered ical science student is taking the What can a lawyer look forward both here in Canada and throughout LSAT for the first time this week. He's to after graduation? The Benefits: the USA. taking it because "basically the law According to Gillis, "you can It forms an important part of the just interests me, the LSAT is just a expect to work twelve to fourteen *helps with yourowncareer planning admission process into law school. means to an end." hours a day. They [lawyers] are also *develops new skills This year, the LSAT is being taken by To prepare for the examination involved in community service. a large number of Laurier students, requires "practising questions an Competition for the high salary Bay INFORMATION SESSION predominantly those in political sci- hour a night." The LSAT questions St. lawyer jobs is intense." WHEN: Tuesday, February 14,1995 ence . are "not so much difficult" according Aspiring lawyers take heart, Gillis Although Terry Gillis, a counsellor to Ste. Marie, "but how you answer said that "if your real desire is for law WHERE: L 127 (Library) at career services hasn't "had a sub- them [is important]." then there are adequate openings."

J - TIME: 5:30 6:30 P.M. stantial increase," in the number of Another important part of any However, his "general impression is WHO: All student returning in people seeing him about a law law school application is extra-curric- that the market is becoming saturat- the fall career he can see the LSAT's appeal. ular activity. Ste. Marie said that "if a ed." "1 guess my guy has a part time job, plays sports Consider the immortal words of theory would or volunteers they weigh that in. A Lionel Hutz (the lawyer from the be that with the lot of them [law schools] aren't look- Simpsons) when he said, "If there is

* |:=||s:ji=ilSD| a one now, it's "'" "" who America S - - "" " ■' M amount of ing for the person can sit in thing needs T Tr -»-»-•>■'■rrrrrrrrrrrin lYmYimYi* iiYrmiYm* ViYimYiYi mWiYi 1 "• •••• ••• • ...... ••ww-• -v-v .•>«*>—' •" • • • • •'' • •' M* uncertainty (in library 7 days a week." more lawyers." ORCUP Conference ig ii 2 ire MbJifcsi til G \y\ : ; : = =;~ i=j t 1' t. I iL s lil J 3

— , p. p. .. I' 1 p 1... 1 ■l 4 ■■ 1 1 Job Fair 95

• $20 for the full weekend, or free for Permanent, Contract, and Summer Jobs individual seminars

• February 10, 11, 12 • University Newspapers from all over Ontario will be attending

• Come up to the Cord Offices for more infor- mation sampling ofTopics A t%Partnerships for Employment Wednesday, February 15, 1995 and the Law'Charles Campbell Journalism 10:00 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. (Libel Lawyer) Advertising*Peter Matisse Bingemans Conference Centre (Ad Guru) Kitchener Rivet Sports •Christine Free Admission - Students and Alumni (KW Sports Reporter) Free Transportation

Photo Journalism® Dennis Robinson Co-Sponsors: (Photo Editor, Globe and Mail) Conestoga College, University of Guelph, Entertainment® Geoff Pevere University of Waterloo, and Wilfrid Laurier University (Theatre Editor, Globe and Mail)

• • 4 • February 8, 1995 The Cord News Cord Newswriter meetings PRISM science students? Wednesdays s:3opm for Cord Offices Be there, or don't And increased enrollment doesn't help: "Right now, we're looking at a problem for next year. We have 90 students that need a particular course and we don't have the equipment to accommo- date that many people," Herrington said. Wondering about The Science Endowment Fund will be fonnal- ly proposed to full and part time science students your future? on February 16th, the same day as Students' Union elections, in the form of a referendum. Should the resolution pass, full time science If you are science oriented as well as interested in working students would see a $50 a tenn increase in their with people in health care, then consider our Canadian fees, and part time students a $25 a term increase. Medical Association accredited programs. Currently WLU has 968 full time and 291 part time science students; that's a potential $115,000 High Success Rate and Job Placement in fees. Like PRISM, the Endowment Fund has an Space available for September 1995 "opt-out" plan. That is, science students will be automatically billed the appropriate amount Application deadline is March 1, 1995 unless they specifically request that they don't want to pay. Call today 1 800 387-9066 (Ontario) or (416) 596-3177 The group has full expectations it will pass. Registrar's Office "Science more is students recognize that funding The Institute needed, and this is one of the best ways to do it," Michener one of the committee members said. They also MJ) 222 St. Patrick Street don't expect too many students will choose to opt Toronto, Ontario MSTIV4 out.

PICTURE "The highest rate of opting out that PRISM ■r FILE ever had was 11% (which means) 89% still stayed aboard. The average rate hovers around 5%," said ROB GLOVER Anish Makim, the Students' Union rep. WpHWWrJwp CordNews However, if the students are setting up their own It's what a little frustration can do. fund, won't the administration decide to cut back Rind- amazing i Ms- Rob Carew, a senior physics and computing student, ing to the science departments? was frustrated by the outdated equipment he had to "The university has made a commitment to the sci- work with for his studies. ence programs with the construction of the science program in Also, he was fed up with the lack of funds from the building," Rittinger pointed out. "The Dean of Arts and Recreation Leadership school to provide for updated equipment. So, he took it Science fully supports this initiative, and that is with the This exciting, intensive one year program is all you upon himself to look into starting a program for science guarantee that the administration won't reduce funding need for a rewarding career in recreation. students modeled after the School of Business and because of the Fund." Our instructors are all top quality industry Economics' PRISM Program. professionals and the extensive field practice component Independent of Carew, Mark Rittinger in the ensures you'll learn current skills right on the job. office a on Development had completed study financ- Applications are now being accepted for September. ing the science departments' needs. Truly, the fates 1995-1996course were conspiring to bring them together. For further information, please call Susan As an organizer for "Project I.aurier", one of calendars update Goodman, (416) 675-3111 ex 14212. VV Rittinger's tasks was to look at ways to raise funds to buy furniture and equipment for the new science build- ing. Also, as a former SBE student, he was well The 1995-96 Undergraduate Calendar will be avail- acquainted with the PRISM program. So, when he able in the Concourse of the Central Teaching Tired of the Bar Sccnc? found out about Carew, the two of them got together to Building after Reading Week. All current students will see what could be done. receive a free copy of the new calendar upon presen- A committee was created, made up of representa- tation of proof of identification. Rock and Bowl tives from the four science departments, a rep from Calendars may be picked up from 9:00 a.m. to WLUSU, and Rittinger himself, with Carew representing 4:00 p.m. (Monday to Friday) and 6:00 p.m. to 7:30 Physics and Computing, to look at how to set up a p.m. (Monday to Thursday) from Monday Febaiary pm PRISM-like program for science students. 27th, 1995 to March 3rd, 1995. 10:00 A recent interview with the committee underscored the need for such a program. Rittinger pointed out that After March 3rd, calendars will be available in the enrollment in the science departments has doubled Bookstore at a cost of $3.95 each. up, since 1989, and increased enrollment HyPl turned not only increases the need for more BSEf equipment, but better and updated Lights are equipment. r1 rMHik & . jJfBl For example, Debbie Herrington, the Mhl turned down. Chemistry rep, pointed out that in her department, there will always a need for more equipment like glassware, which) is always necessary in her department, j LSI MSjfl KSfflS I

ROSES

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• The Cord • News • February 8, 1995 5 Why did Union nix new lobby group!

in November, are in bankruptcy. There were a shit- the Students' load of universities there." Union spent Spoltore also "raised the point at $2000 to send the Jan. 26th meeting that the mem- two represen- bership fees would come out of next tatives to year's budget." Edmonton to Steve Doak, policy advisor to the help draft that Board and one of those who repre- HEASLEY same sented WLUSU in Edmonton, also Constitution. didn't accept the cost argument. Just PHOTOGRAPHERS McCormick (with hand over face) and Spoltore (left) MARK "Several parts before the vote was taken, he asked at the Jan. 19th Board meeting. Here they began to of that docu- the Board "You don't have enough realize the extent of the Board's ignorance of CASA. PICTURE: ment we money? That's a shitty argument, it wrote," said says:' We've been spending foolishly Attention Graduates: MARK HEASLEY Spoltore in an Imprint interview. this year, so let's cut back now on Cord News The arguments made against something important.'" Although the reasons may never be CASA's constitution ranged from the After the motion failed, Doak really understood, WLU Students' supposed $10,000 membership cost was given a polite round of Union decided not to join the newly that the Board arbitrarily beleievd in, applause for all the time and work Forde Studio has been formed national student lobby and that WLU is already represented that he had done on CASA for the group, the Canadian Alliance of by the provincial lobby group the Union. serving the graduatesof Student Associations (CASA) on Ontario Undergraduate Student In the end, Spoltore could only January 26th. Alliance. say that "it was an uneducated vote. WLU forthe past2s years. CASA was created to be a policy- Also, the Board believed the sec- They didn't know what they were oriented alternative to the more mili- ond-hand statement that VP voting on. The document was avail- tant Canadian Federation of University Affairs Scott McCormick, able for a week and a half before We pride ourselves on the Students, who organized the Nov. who was already in Fredericton the the (Jan. 26th) meeting. When I then 16th Parliament Hill rally at which same weekend as the CASA confer- asked how many people had read it, auality ofourworkand federal Human Resources Minister ence, didn't want to represent WLU only seven raised their hands. It's...in Lloyd Axworthy was pelted with while he was there. the hands of next year's Board now." uncooked Kraft Dinner and eggs. That last argument service. Now is the time to Ralph Spoltore, Students' Union fell apart when President, just shook his head at the McCormick later pro Justsome ofCASA's have your graduation Board of Directors meeting where claimed at the he was the only one who voted in Board's Feb. 2nd founding members portraits taken by a favour of accepting "in principle" the meeting that he was CASA constitution. "I don't know "a little disappointed Ottawa McGiil why they voted it down," said (that WLUSU didn't Ryerson (observing) St. Thomas University professional photographer. Spoltore. "The way it was worded join), it would have Brock (observing) Mount Aiiison (observ- we wouldn't have to be a member." been a good spend, ÜBC ing) In other words, nothing would have and now we've lost Queen's Memorial Call Forde Studio been written in stone. our voice on CASA. " Western U of Manitoba at: Five Board members voted McCormick con- Guelph (observing) U of Saskatchewan 745-8637 against the motion, and six tinued, "We were Carleton U of Alberta abstained. As many directors didn't one of only three UNB - Fredericton U of Caigary vote as did vote. schools from Canada and St. John's Waterloo toarrangeanappointment. Inherent in Spoltore's dismay at that didn't attend, his Board's decision was the fact that and the other two Lessee...uh, Laurier isn't In there. Nope,

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• • 6 • February 8, 1995 The Cord News Hall. Tickets $5 at the door. Proceeds to • Careers in Gerontology 2:30 to 4 p.m. The Canadian National Institute for the P3027/29. Blind. • Jill Ker Conway professor at MIT speaks on around • "No Silence" on "Stages a Woman's Life." 4 p.m. Recital campus Workshop of 's up compassionate living. Located at the Adult Recreation Hall. Free admission and reception. For

Wednesday, February 8 • "Soul Providers" at WilPs Centre 185 King St. S. Waterloo. Admission more info call 884-0710 ext. 3800.

• Musician's Network's Laurier Live. 8:30 p.m. Friday, February 10 $10 (includes lunch). For more info call Tuesday February 14

• Turret. • Science Fiction and Fantasy Club holds two 884-7013. Bring a blanket. Career Services Information Session for Thursday, February 9 role-playing tournaments this weekend: Monday February 13 Student Career Assistants. 5:50 p.m. to 6:30

• • Chamber Music featuring Faculty of Music D&D and Vampire the Masquerade. Call Red Ribbon Campaign for AIDS Awareness. p.m. For more info call Career Services at Students. 8 p.m. Recital Hall. Free for Mary Shortell at 746-4609 for details. In the Concourse. Donations appreciated. 884-1970. Laurier Students. • "Blues Synergy" at WilPs.

• German Klub Potluck Dinner. 7 p.m. Call Saturday, February 11 Corey at 578-5986 for details. • Riverworks at WilPs. From the offices of Peter Jorg,

• Dance for Heart. 7:30 p.m. Timet. Sunday, February 12 WLU Manager of Security

• • Careers for Psychology Majors 12 to 1 p.m. Music Association Benefit Services and Guide Through the In the Science Building room N1042. Concert. 2 p.m. Recital Bag 0' Crime ; Midnight Darkness. Advice from Fail To Remain MVA times to leave and as a result of participating in powder puff foot- Legal Resources 1430 Hrs Wed 01 Feb 95 their obnoxious behaviour all four bail. She was transported to KW Is A Fail to Remain motor vehicle acci- were issued trespass warnings. Two Hospital. dent was reported as a result of an of the individuals were charged Suspicious Person unknown vehicle striking a 1992 with trespassing. 121S Hrs Sun 05 Feb 95 Nissan in lot *1. The driver of the Assault A WLU professor reported that a this other vehicle left the scene. 0140 Hrs Fri 03 Feb 95 male individual was observed talk- Damage was minimal. A UW student was assaulted from ing to his young children in the AC. Medical Assist the rear in the Students' Union When the individual was confront- 0435 Hrs Thur 02 Feb 95 Building quad which resulted in a ed he became belligerent and sub- legal? An ambulance was summoned for a cut over his left eye. A description sequently left the premises. A WLU student who was experiencing of the assailant was obtained. description was obtained and the STEVE HUNWICKS 2. Terry becomes a landlord to the difficulty breathing due to her dia- Investigation continues. information was passed onto the AND JASON BILODEAU sub-tenant and the relationship is betic condition. Trespass Waterloo Regional Police. CORD NEWS governed by the Landlord & Theft Under $1000 0040 Hrs Sat 04 Feb 95 Investigation continues. This column follows the exploits of Tenant Act. This means that Terry 1645 Hrs Thur 02 Feb 95 A non-University affiliated male was Description: Teny Tenant and Larry Landlord, cannot charge a rent in excess of A WLU student reported that some- charged with trespassing after being White male, 5'10" pounds, 20 to 25 and is intended to answer common the legal limit, and he cannot one had removed die face plate of refused entry to the Turret. The years of age, short dark brown hair, questions on legal issues ofrelevance charge any deposit. The sub-ten- a stereo component from his bag in individual insisted on entering the clean shaven, plain gold ring to students at WLU. The advice given ant should make rent payments the Peters Building. No suspects. premises and was arrested. As a through his nose, wearing ankle is in no way intended as a substitute to Terry. Trespass result of having previously been length black trench coat, and black for professional legal advice, hut it's There is one important excep- 0150 Hrs Fri 03 Feb 95 issued a trespass notice he was boots. stillpretty good. tion to this sublet relationship: secu- Four non-University affiliated males charged. He was last seen heading east Terry realizes that his only hope rity of tenure. As the original tenant, were evicted from the Bouckaert Medical Assist on foot from the Athletic Complex. of getting a co-op job this summer is Terry has the right to move back Residence as a result of them con- 1327 Hrs Sat 04 Feb 95 Anyone with infonnation regarding to apply in North Bay. This means into the premises on the specified gregating in the foyer and causing An ambulance was summoned to this incident is encouraged to con- that he will have to do something dale, or after giving the subtenant 60 residents to be apprehensive about Seagram stadium for a WLU student tact WLU Security at 885-3333 or with his place here in Waterloo for days notice. entering. After being advised several who had injured her back while extension 3333. the summer months. Terry should also keep in mind a He could pay the entire monthly few practical tips when dealing with rent to I .any, and not live there, but subletting: Terry wants his turn to play land- 1. The sublet market is veiy compet- lord. The answer: sublet. itive in K-W and as a result sub- You cart take control Let's start at the top: First, Terry lets go for a fraction of the regular has the right under the Landlord & monthly rent. of genital herpes Tenant Act to assign or sublet his 2. Normally, sublet agreements rented premises, subject to the con- should end on the day BEFORE sent of the landlord. This consent the lease with hirry expires. This *) eaeu cUttptM&l utitfl 6 cannot be arbitrarily or unreason- means that Terry will occupy the hnfteA cfavu *9*. ably withheld. Also, Larry cannot premises before the original lease charge a fee for the privilege of sub- with Larry expires, so that he may letting. remain as a month-to-month ten- When Terry sublets his place, he ant. has two sets of obligations: Armed with this new knowl- 1. He is responsible to Larry subject edge, Terry can pick up a sublet to the conditions of the original agreement from the Legal Resource lease. Therefore, HE is responsi- Centre, and start his search for that ble for paying the full rent each special someone to sublet his place. month, not his sub-tenant.

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• The Cord • News • February 8, 1995 7 INTERNATIONAL Afterpublic outcry... The toilet revolution sweeps China

LILIAN SCHAER Kobe steaks. And the $2500? It all goes to charity. mobiles and dog teams. Both men have 230 kg of supplies for Cord international ...The power of the devil is still mighty, even in this day the duration of the trip. A June 1992 attempt at the trip was ...There is a revolution going on in China, but it is one and age. A Kansas man thought he saw a pentagram in the unsuccessful. that is unlike any other in history; the toilet revolution. In iris of his right eyeball, and tried to get rid of the 5-pointed ...Justice may never be served now alter one of Britain's Beijing, the visitors to public toilets complain of sanitary defi- star that is commonly associated with the occult. When he notorious tabloids published so-called "secret confessions" in ciencies and foul odours. To this correct problem, city officials couldn't, he apparently popped the eyeball out of his head the Frederick West serial killings. West's son was quoted as sponsored a contest to design the perfect public toilet. The cut the connecting tendon with a knife, and flushed it down saying that his father had confessed to killing 12 women and winning proposal, of which 30 will be installed this year, the toilet. girls, before he committed suicide in his jail cell New Year's includes access for the handicapped as well as a phone booth Day. Lawyers for West's second wife Rosemary, who is an and attached newspaper stand. charged with nine of the 12 murders, claim that because of ...Some people are definitley born under an unlucky her step-son's revelations, she may never get a fair trial. star. Such is the case with 16-year old Crystal Andrews of Remains of nine victims were discovered buried in the garden Florida. One of her classmates committed suicide, and on the of a Gloucester home last year. way home from the funeral, the van in which Crystal was trav- elling was struck by a freight train. The Florida teen remains in hospital, but her boyfriend, mother, brother and half sister Briefly... were all killed in the incident. ...A young British hacker managed to access the com- ...Although it seems that Canadians drink a lot, we con- puters of the US defence department for seven months this sume only about 6.9 quarts of pure alcohol per person per past year. The 16-year old monitored the highly sensitive and year, whereas in Luxembourg 13-3 quarts are consumed per secret communications about the North Korean nuclear crisis person per year...According to certain scientists, an last summer, and put the messages on an Internet bulletin exploding star that zapped the earth with radiation may be Ixxird. The Internet is accessible to 35 million people world World NewsRound Up responsible tor a mass extinciton of life on this planet 225 mil- wide. The hacker has since been arrested by British police. lion years a go...Paula Jones' sexual harassment suit against ...Ever thought what a date with super-stud Fabio US President Bill Clinton has been postponed until after Mr. might be worth? Well, 20 American women paid $2500 for a ...A Russian and a Canadian are attempting what they Clinton leaves office...North Korea is still fighting rumours group date with the poster boy and romance novel hero. have described as "...the final great physical challenge of the that its new leader, Kim Jong II, is in bad health. Kim has not According to reports, Fabio treated his dates to a New York 20th century." Richard Weber and Mikhail Malakhov are skiing been seen in public life since the funeral of his father, Kim II cocktail party complete with Dom Perignon and Japanese 1100 km to the North Pole, without a support system of snow- Sung, last July. This week in the 20th century

February 8 February 10 February 11 after 3300 years go out 1907: Revolution breaks out in 1904: Stait of Russian-Japanese war 1908: Thomas Edison gets film 1931 Ist Japanese TV broadcast is 1984:Konstantin Chernenko Argentina 1906i World's biggest battleship, projector patent a baseball game becomes new Soviet premier 1952: Elizabeth II becomes Queen I IMS Dreadnought, is 1928: St. Moritz hosts 2nd Winter 1964: Beatles arrive in America of England launched Olympics 1988: Calgary hosts the Winter February 14 1969: Ist commercial flight of 1950: Dr. Benjamin Spock is bom 1945 Stalin, Roosevelt, and Olympics 1912: Arizona becomes 48th US Boeing 747 1957: "Little House" author Laura Churchill meet in Yalta state Ingalls Wilder dies 1953: Disney's Peter Pan debuts in February 13 1929: 7 gangsters die in Chicago's February 9 1969: A big snowstorm in New America 1907: British suffragists storm the St. Valentines's Day Massacre 1900: Tennis' Davis Cup is inaugu- York kills 14 1975: Margaret Thatcher becomes British Parliament 1939: German Reich launches the rated 1986: Haitian dictator Jean-Claude leader of British Tories 1916: US population tops 100 mil- battleship Bismarck 1919: Ist commercial Paris-London Duvalier flees to France lion 1946: IBM introduces its electronic- flight 1991: Lithuanians vote for indepen- February 12 1935: Bruno Hauptmann found calculator 1987: Iran/Iraq war casualties dence 1922: Bishop of Milan becomes guilty in Lindbergh baby 1965: Home of Malcolm X is fire- reach 1,000,000 Pope Pius XI murder bombed 1924: King Tut s coffin is opened 1936: Ist US social security checks Compiled by Lilian Schaer

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• • 8 • February 8, 1995 The Cord International Vive le Quebec Libre!

ANDREW READING the Culture Ministry, otherwise known as the -start up Swiss bank accounts for PQ leaders maybe not vote to screw the Anglos, in a Cord Opinion Ministry of Propaganda so they won't lose money when the world non-binding kind ofway? Yes or No?" financial markets kill the Canadian dollar -promise Quebecers Celine Dion singing in Due to an ultra top-secret source of mine in February-March upon independance French again, |>eace, happiness and porcine the Parti Quebecois hierarchy, I was able to -give speech in Chicoutimi entitled "Les -promise Quebecers they can have aviation trade a love note to Margaret Taideau with Anglais sont merde" Vancouver's climate, a subway link to Paris, -if losing on the eve of election, pass new law Daniel Johnson's signature forged on for a -give speech in mainly English western sub- and Niagara Falls requiring all voters to say "je me souviens" rough draft ofJacques Parizeau's plans for the urbs of Montreal "How the French and the -organize with Lisette who she wants in my ten times fast without a mistake before they referendum campaign. This blueprint is sure English can work together for a new prosper- cabinet can vote to be an eyeopener. ous Quebec" -discuss with separatist caucus the possibility June-July After the Vote December-January of a Queen for Quebec. Preliminary talks -decide on structure of referendum question. -I get to be President, nyah, nyah, nyah! -ram Independence Bill through Quebec with Mitsou Possible wording: Do you think that on a -Lisette wants to scrap that problem with National Legislature. Fuck'em! -promise Quebecers that all Canadian govern- nice summer's day it's fun to go for a walk Media, so first act as new nation is to take -Promise Quebecers the retention of ment buildings and employees will stay in through the park with someone you love, to over all newspapers, radio and TV stations. Canadian money and passports Quebec, but all of the national debt and First stop and smell the flowers and perhaps go VIVE LE QUEBEC LIBRE!!! -appoint Quebec nationalist zealots to hear Nation land treaty rights will remain Ottawa's for a meal with a bottle of '69 Chablis, then what Quebecers really want, as long as they responsibility. afterwards go see a show, grab a coffee and Well, that's it, for what it's worth. I stand by say "independence" talk for a while, then go back to your place the source of this article, although some -go to Paris and suck up to the French gov- April-May and make wild passionate love, then in the sense might have been lost in translation ernment -make the rest of Canada give up their name morning get up together, walk hand in hand from the French, as I used the Refonn Party's -let my wife Lisette tell me who should nin so the Montreal Canadiens can keep theirs down to the voting booth and maybe or interpreting service. going Buy

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• • The Cord International February 8, 1995 9 ELECTION '95 WLUSU students'Union President

PAUL GRAY SCOTT MCCORMICK MIKE MCMAHON KELLY WESTLAKE My name Ls Paul Gray. I am one of the candi- Politicians and roosters both crow about what Mike McMahon is the presidential candidate life is like a box of chocolates, and as students dates for the position of WLUSU President. they intend do. Only the rooster delivers what that will offer the university community hon- we are constantly getting stuck with those The position of President is one of great hon- is promised. est, people-based leadership. Here's why: lime-filled ones that no one else wants. our, prestige, and above all, responsibility. I me be your rooster! First, we are all participants in exciting Despite the fact that investment in educa- believe that I possess the skills necessary to be My name is Scott McCormick, and as your times here at Wilfrid Laurier University. Next tion is essential for future economic prosperity, your President. current Vice-President: University Affairs I year, students will open a beautiful new our funding is constantly being cut back. In order to be an effective; leader one must have had the opportunity to work on 61 com- Students' Union Building. 1 will represent the Contrary to popular opinion this is not know two tilings; Who they arc leading, and, mittees dealing with everything from safety student body consistently, both in the opening inevitable. Where they are going. In my four years at issues to student appeals. As a result of this and the operation of this new facility. This new By redirecting OUSA's lobbying efforts and Laurier I have held many positions, from experience I have even formed a few commit- building must be viewed as the foundation making education one of the focal points ofthe Laurier Ambassador to Icebreaker, from tees myself, including the Anti-Homophobia, upon which the Students' Union can re-estab- upcoming provincial election, we can have a SHAPE executive to Emergency Response Anti-Racism, and Sexual Assault Policy & lish itsrelationship with the students. profound impact on government policy with Team. It Ls through these experiences, shared Cultural Change Committees. Secondly, as the leader of a new student regard to education. with you, my fellow students, that I know I am I believe that the Students' Union should be government I will endeavor to initiate change Your Students' Union must address the well suited to be your president. an organization that has an acute sense of in student politics. 1 believe that we must sup- lack of maintenance of services on campus. Currently Ixiurier is in a state of expansion. responsibility to the students it represents. port the diversity of our volunteer structure. This includes the sad state that exists in our needs someone that can take us into Among my highest priorities will be to see that We must re-focus and concentrate on the peo- athletic complex and library. this continued expansion with an aggressive the Students' Union expansion project is suc- ple we represent. Through a volunteer net- To increase awareness of campus events, attitude. Continued government budget cuts cessfully completed. My knowledge and expe- work and renewed communication within our weekly Cord updates are needed. Frosh Week have left the student population reeling. rlTie rience of the Union's operations and priorities organization, the Students' Union will can be improved by increasing the number of response from the CPS, "Go on strike." This gives me the leadership required to blow the strengthen its relationship with the Laurier volunteers involved. Housing lists should be on radical response served absolutely no pur- breath of life into the new Students' Union. community. the WLU Info network to make finding a pose. We need to forge links with other uni- In a time when tuition is on the rise and Third, there are several issues emerging house easier. versities which are in the same situation as academic resources are on the fall it is para- on campus that our students must be con- My name is Kelly Westlake and these are ourselves and separate from the CPS. mount that the Students' Union pursue acade- cerned with. As President, I will provide stu- but a few of the significant issues that 1 will I offer an aggressive style of leadership to mic accountability here at Laurier and fiscal dents with a consistent, informed voice that address in addition to any concerns you may take us into Laurier's future. On February accountability on the provincial and federal commands respect when addressing such have. If you will be my voice on February 16th vote Paul Gray for WIJUSU President. level. issues. leadership is as essential as financial, 16th, I will be yours for the nextyear. academic, and social issues in campus life. Thanks... Kelly.

WLUSU students'Union VP: University Affairs

health plan that will continue to help you. Federal levels for a number of years, motivat- who has the experience and knowledge to OUSA is a great organization that we need to ed by my passion to be involved in this field. best represent Laurier as Vice President: continue our involvement in. Please feel free The Federal government in their bid to University Affairs. to approach me to talk about any issue or idea reduce the deficit has decided to cut transfers My involvement includes: on your mind. On February 16, 1995, get to the province, resulting in drastic cuts to •Chairperson of WLUSU's Constitutional and Anish Makim working for you. funding for post-secondary education. This Operational Development Committee (the poli- could result in the doubling of tuition costs cy committee), over the next quadrennium. •Vice-chairperson: WLUSU Board of There are numerous issues too many to list Directors, such as OUSA and CART that will require the •Professionally trained conflict resolution attention of the union. office and, legal resource counselor, I am Pat McMurrich and I hope you will •Icebreaker during Orientation Week (Go Blue ANISH MAKIM consider my candidacy worthy of your sup- Team!), and My name is Anish Makim and I would like to port. •Executive member of the infamous be your next Vice President: University Affairs. Waterbuffaloes. Students feel that Ixiurier needs someone Next year I would like to expand the suc- to represent their views to the Administration. cessful student run course and professor eval- Someone who will not be confrontational but uation to include potential elective courses. to will ensure that student voices arc heard. I 1 intend to work hard over the summer have been that person and would like to con- PATRICK MCMURRICH get our money's worth out of the new and tinue to represent your views. My name is Pat McMurrich and I am running improved Students' Union Building (including The University has been delinquent in its for V.P: University Affairs for several reasons. more girl's washrooms in the Turret). reading maintenance of the athletic complex, exercise First, I have the experience, leadership On February 16, the day before A room, and the library. They spend money and commitment to represent you. 1 am cur- week, remember to stay Hooked On BRAD moving student services off campus, yet refuse rently the Municipal Affairs Commissioner of Feeling, be High On Believing, because to update and enlarge the exercise room. I mirier and a member of the Students' Union ROSS Will Be Here For You! Safety and safety initiatives have to be Board of Directors. 1 have also been actively BRAD ROSS For more information feel free to contact increased on campus. I believe in an opt-out involved in politics at the Provincial and Brad Ross - an objective and honest person me personally.

10 February 8, 1995 theCord -(Election '95) WLUSU Students'Union Board Directors of

I'm not going to tell you what I think issues going on within the BOD. An presently a member of First Year what it did. You may be thinking, is important in this election. What overhaul of these policies is the Council, and a representative on "What kind of guy would be telling opinion is important is yours, the main item on my political agenda BOD and the Students' Union me this?" But that's the point. student body I look forward to hear- for 1995-96. Expansion Committee. How many of us actually know ing from you at the open forums. All candidates will tell you their As a member of the BOD team, I what the BOD does, or what the real remedies to better Laurier. You must am prepared to work as an advo- issues are. That's what 1 wnat to decide who will follow through. cate to increase safety measures on change. Since we are all paying Vote Clark for BOD campus, increase awareness and members, 1 want the average stu- promote input on issues that con- dent to be well informed about what cern you. their union is doing. There is more I am accountable, credible, and to the Student's Union than expand- most importantly I want to know ing Wilfs and the Turret. Together WILLIAM BLACKBURN your opinion. we can learn. My goals, if electcd for the '95-'96 "Things are going to change. 1 academic year, are providing better can feel it." information to you the student body Remember...Your BOD is NAKED and preventing any wasteful spend- without Bruce! ing of your money. DAVID CHASSON Many students, especially Frosh, While I have been a member of the aren't made aware of the activities Students' Union for two years, I con- that occur here at I-aurier. One solu- sider my association to be purely RUSS CLARK tion is to strengthen the Dirty Dozen numerical: I have an I.D. number Action speaks louder than word, so I program. By keeping you informed which proves my existence, I pay won't repeat what you've already the Students' Union can best repre- Students' Union fees which permits heard. sent your needs. me to exist, and I receive a pay- As a member of the current In addition, I want to work cheque from the Turret which BOD I work hard on the External MONICA KHURANA towards bringing you the most for allows me to subsist. Affairs and the Academic Affairs I'm baaack! your money. Your money is some- Considering that we all are Boards. I will continue to work hard This may be a surprise after the thing that should not be misused. required to pay substantial fees to for you next year. Any team bene- eventful year it has been in the Through the team work of BOD, I the Students' Union, I feel that our fits from consistency in its member- CHRISTINE GERGICH Students' Union but I'm the type of hope to bring you this peace of involvement should be more signifi- ship. Building expansion is in the First, I think 1 should introduce person who likes to finish what I mind. cant. Being honest and open-mind- planning stage this year and is in the myself. lam Christine Gergich. 1 start and that is why I am running ed I will make every effort to ensure implementation stage next year; am a first year student here at for BOD. Again. that any decision to be made will be experience next year will definitely Laurier pursuing a BA and aspiring Of all the areas I have become representative of the collective stu- benefit you. to be a WLUSU Director. involved in, the SUB Expansion is dent voice. Success is truly the result of good I am interested in what Laurier what I would like to continue work- judgment. Good judgment is the students have to say. I believe stu- ing on in the upcoming year. What I result of experience, and experience dents should be given more oppor- can promise, is that I will work to is often the result of bad judgment! tunities to voice their opinions in sit- represent the students of Laurier to uations similar to the open forum the best of my ability, as well as held at the Turret a few weeks ago. keeping them aware and informed. 1 want the chance to put your 50... RE-ELECT MONICA FOR ideas into action. BOD.

JULIE BOYER Although laurier is a small universi- ty, there are still 8000 voices that need to be heard. Currently however it seems like TONY CHOW the line of communication between Pride, spirit and truth. the student body and their supposed This is the essence of Laurier. representatives has been cut. As a The preservation of these should be ADRIAN DE SILVA member of BOD, my most pressing the goal of our student government. A member of the BOD should guide concern is to improve student It Is easy, though, to lose sight. others toward a common goal and is awareness surrounding current It is easy to walk through the responsible for the management of campus issues such as the Student halls silently every day. These are the corporation we call YVLU. This BIL HUK JEFF KRUSE Union building expansion and the best years of our lives! How can common goal should be the provi- In the time of chimpanzees, I was a He's the best! She's the best! You Ixiurier's possible involvement in the we possibly justify not having a sion of effective student government monkey. (Beck) may hear that from other cam- Canadian Alliance of Student voice? I low can we not take part in and the physical and mental well- If you're actually reading this, paigns, but not from mine. I prefer Associations. shaping what is here for us? We being of its constituents, you the stu- I'm really impressed. Apathy is big to show you what you will receive 1 believe it is essential to increase must strive to make Laurier more dents ofWLU. at WLU. Twisted Sister could get a when you mark a simple "x" beside the amount of student input and than just an academic institution. It I am Adrian De Silva and this is better turnout than an election at Kruse, Jeff on Feb. 16. involvement to lead to a more effi- will be a part of us for life. what 1 stand for. WE are the prima- Laurier. I am Chairperson of the First cient and accountable government. Pride, spirit and truth. This is ry stakeholders at WLU around With your help though, we can Year Council. I am involved with the Just vote Bover for BOD! what I believe in. whom everything else should change that. Three things we need: anti-homophobia committee. I am revolve. Administrators, professors a code of conduct for BOD, a voice in committed to giving students what and staff must view US more as cus- Ottawa, and a coordinated strategy they need. I am also aware of: safety tomers whose input and feedback is that will let BOD do something stu- concerns raised by the proposed de- critical because WE have invested dents care about. Why? Three rea- centralization of Administration ser- our resources for the right to enjoy a sons: stupid scandals, killer tuition, vices (Registrar, etc.); the possible safe campus with which to receive and changes at Laurier that stu- need for a Code ofConduct; the defi- quality education. This is what 1 dents can actually notice. Chimps ite need for more student imput, would like WLU to stand for. are running your school, people. It's ate Jefffor BOD. Kruse into '96. time to vote for a monkey.

MIKE BRADLEY I'm Mike Bradley, a first year stu- LAN CLARK dent running for the Students' Union In my two years at WLU, I have Board of Directors. 1 am asking for made one major observation. There the chance to represent you on the is a lot of untapped potential hinder- Students' Union. I believe that I have ing the growth of the school. I seek the qualities that are essential in to ensure that Laurier realizes some being an effective member of stu- of that potential. dent government. The policies of the Board of BRUCE DORLAND ROBERT MANGER 1 have only been here at WLU for Directors came under fire this year When was the last time you were MICHAEL KERIAKOS Laurier, to me, is like beer five months, and I have enjoyed as Student Publications made asked your opinion on an issue? The reason I'm running for BOD is (Canadian 1 think). I start taking everything this school has to offer. known some of the controversial Hi, I am Bruce Dorland and I am that two weeks ago I had no idea Continued on page 12

theCord February 8, 1995 11 (Election '95)— cccffff Continued from page I I

some. It feels good—mmm...so I experience the intimate workings of are supposed to improve student thing ever to happen to BOD - and based on what I read every take more. And more...until I feel the Students' Union and feel that I life. Unfortunately, most candidates to Laurier.... Wednesday in the Cord. great! Then I come down, reflect, can bring a great deal of experience are long on words, and short on (FEB 02 1995 - 6:30 pm) The For me to make huge promises miss what I could have done, you and knowledge to the 1995-1996 results. strategy is unveiled. It's simple, real- for sweeping change or to write know, reevaluate my life and all. Board. To be honest, the only promise ly. I'm going to give Laurier what its what I think about such things as So it is with Lauricr...rve taken Some of the major concerns that that I can give is, that when elected, students want most - someone who tuition hikes and professor evalua- and I've taken some more. (Sure I I would like to see addressed by this I will work with the Board as hard is willing to take action on issues tions would be ridiculous. Wanting gave some, but I took more) It felt year's board are the improvement as I can to represent your needs. that students care about most. to give a little back to our school, good of course, then I came down, and expansion of the Student Run I will bring to the Board my abili- I am committed to making the debating issues relevant to next reflected. What can I give back to Course Evaluation, further research ty to work well with others, com- quality of life here at Laurier better year, meeting new people and hav- Laurier? into federal student lobby groups, plete tasks, compromise, and repre- for YOU. You and I can make IT ing a good time is why I am running. I will give hard work, dedication increased campus safety and stu- sent all students to the best of my happen. I voted yes. and a common sense approach to dent equality, and increased ability. As for campaign promises, I ... on February 16, vote LYNNE FOR improve Laurier for all of us! accountability of the board mem- have only one, to do my best. BOD. bers to the student population. So on February 16, vote for Chris Rutsey for board of directors.

STEWART WONG WLU is entering a new era with the VIRGINIA PARKER SEAN WILDE expansion of the SUB and the new Somewhere in the WLUSU offices, a MICHAEL ROSENBLATT Tired of half-truths? Want to know science building. great idea was lost; that WLUSU is Hello, I'm Michael Rosenblatt. I'm JOE TURNBULL where your money goes? As your Thus, things seem very bright for for the students, and that the stu- currently a 3rd year Political @!*? the average guy at the average YVLUSU BOD member, I will make us. To complement our new facili- dents should be a part of it. Science/Admin option student. For a school, this is me talking and I'm not members accountable for their ties, we need representatives in our WLUSU seems to have become change, 1 thought I'd run for the your average guy. actions. government who will be account- too entrenched in meetings and Students Union Board. If elected to BOD my first and My experience as a Student able, honest and will carry integrity agendas, and has forgotten its main Among the issues that need to be foremost duty will be to YOU, the Publications BOD member and into the face of any issue. As a first reason for existence... the students. addressed are the maintenance of students. I won't be the small voice Editorial Board member will help year student, these are the values We have to communicate, we budget and making sure in the big crowd, I'll do my best to me to maintain positive relations that I have brought with me while have to work together. The directors finances are managed wisely. We voice the issues that are important between our two corporations. contributing to Laurier in positions cannot hide in the offices behind must provide leadership to be sure to YOU. Dammit! I'll bloody get up I will make sure the Sexual such as L.U.C.K. exec., CSA exec., policies and closed doors. that the new Students' centre is a and scream so your concerns will be Diversity Committee and the Anti- and volunteer positions in Charity If elected, 1 will not hide away. success. heard, at any level. I feel adding to Racism/Cultural Affairs Committee Ball, Winter Carnival, and Habitat Instead, I will actively seek feedback Teaching evaluations can be a quality of life here on campus is will continue to expand and raise For Humanity. My main issues: from students. Nothing is more touchy subject, but I'm in favour of essential. awareness about these issues on accountability of SU and tuition important. our conducting them, if we get value So, if improved services for the campus. I will not let these commit- hikes. I'm Virginia Parker, and you for them. I have experience in uni- students is important to you, "VOTE tees become obsolete or stagnant. Go Vote: APATHY SUCKS!! have my word on it. versity politics from the Publications TURNBULL". On Feb. 16th take a step for cul- Board and the Senate. tural understanding and a responsi- VOTE MICHAEL ROSENBLATT ble BOD; vote Sean Wilde. FOR STUDENTS' UNION BOARD! \VO\ TE

KERI PEACOCK LYNNE WAN

As past First Year Council (FEB 01 1995 - 2:00 am) Chairperson, the current Charity Somewhere in the deep, dark JAY WILGAR and Community Relations Director CHRIS RUTSEY recesses of Bricker Residence sits a As is likely the case with the majori- 95 and a marketing department mem- During elections there are often lone student who is making prepa- ty of WLU students, my opinions ber, I have had the opportunity to many empty promises made that rations for what could be the best regarding university issues are Where WLUSP to StudentsPublications vote: President Arts:

For the past two years I have repre- the corporation can be put along a Next year our challenge will be Concourse sented you, the students of Laurier, continuum. At one end is the need on the Student Publications Board of call- Business- Directors. Now 1 Atrium

back the wall calendar, go to refer- Music: finances by maximizing endum for a levy so that we can Directors to manage operations in a revenues and minimizing expenses. gain more control over our finances Aird Building balanced and fiscally responsible WLUSP must repay its debts and and see the corporation through the way. increase cash reserves in order to Students' Union Building expansion. Science: SUSAN BARRY Simply put, the expenditures of attain its god of autonomy. Concourse

12 February 8, 1995 theCord {Election '95) WLUSP StudentPublications Board Directors of

KAREN BULA HARVEY GARMAN DAVID JANZEN LAURIE LEGAULT STEVE GROENEVELD I'm Karen Bula, and I'm running for As a member of WLUSP I hope to Last year at this time, my platform As a new member of Student My name is Steve Groeneveld and 1 a position on the WLUSP Board of accomplish three things. spoke of profit and sustainable Publications I hope to bring new am running for the position of WLU Directors. Firstly, the setup of a reserve autonomy I am pleased to say that enthusiasm and dedication to the Student Publications Board Of Student Publications is undergo- fund for a percentage of any the former has been achieved —the Board. My goal entails making the Directors.

- ing major changes and it needs amount of receipts above a certain corporation will make profit this corporation more iuvulvtxl it* c<«a* || believe that Student committed, hard working Directors point. Secondly, a continuation of year—and that vyfc. aco much pus activity! Pubtjcstfitaus is an integral part of the can e, thjillliiiwere can to ensure stability in the future. I the tren ds..set hy th : lllihe latter a, fm •|lifc«rdtsrtoJbaw cii •llotal package Ixiurier offer to fill that role. boards of gaining autonomy from i am very eager to be The Board must maintain fiscal IVVLUSIL Finally, to balance fiscal of II btudJH responsibility in order to ng|||§|itJ| with of the stadent aclivMtes 111 1 ran for a position transition to a conjfiilclv volunteers."' on the Student Union BOD. I decided autonomous corporation £ S£rKxw and Since much of my previous expe- to try to hold a position on WLUSP one. JlPi securing sustainable autonomy. I rience involves leadership and mar- this semester because, if elected, 1 Also, the Board should improve It is with these three goals in look forward to your support in keting success, I feel that my ideas look forward to working on a communication with its staff, and mind that 1 will serve your interests. achieving these goals in the upcom- would bring Student Publications TEAM. with all students, many of whom ing year. new enthusiastic volunteers that I believe 1 am a team player and don't know or understand how and would ultimately effect every mem- can help Student Pubs in working to why the Board works. ber of the student body by providing inform and assist the student body. I'll work hard to see that these new and improved Publication ser- things are accomplished. vices.

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theCord February 8, 1995 13 OPINION Editorial Let's deal with the whole issue Letter to the editor In this day and age, our society is inundated with special interest groups that permeate almost every facet of our society. One of the most prominent is the feminist movement. The feminist movement's "flagship" concern is the very noble cause ol preventing violence against women. There can he no doubt Example the right. Two wrongs make two that "the average heterosexual that violence is a problem in our scx'iety, and every single violent act of wrongs! male...resents homosexuality." Once should be prevented if at all possible. This violence should be problem Ryan Smyth again, I fail to see any evidence of stopped not only when it involves female victims, but male as well. what his conclusions are founded However the politically-correct seed being firmly planted within Dear Editor upon. Where did his figures come the feminist movement has given rise to some very misleading and I'd like to thank you, George Deeply from to make this claim? ultimately damaging practices. Kirk, for your letter in last week's angered I think the Cord has done a satis- According to Gloria Steinem, "the most dangerous situation for a Cord, and for presenting to Cord factory job in covering issues con- women is ....(with) a husband or lover in the isolation of their own readers a fine example of the shal- Dear Editor cerning the student body; I do recall home." But is it really? According to Stats Canada, last year in Canada lowness and selfishness that defines I could not let this week's Cord one titled, "Discussion or done deal", husbands, ex-husbands, lx)yfriends and "dates" accounted for 22% of homophobia. If your intention was come out without a proper response in last week's Cord just as an exam- assaults on lemale victims. Furthennore, only 3% of all sexual assaults to get people to agree with you, I to George Kirk's letter from last ple. were committed by husbands or ex-husbands (both married and think your letter had the opposite week regarding the Anti- Elaine Ho common-law) ofthe victim. effect. Homophobia campaign. After read- Equality Commissioner The automatic response to this argument is that most victims of People who are blatantly uncar- ing his letter, I was deeply angered WLUSU assaults, of both the physical and sexual nature, are reluctant to come ing are probably a lost cause, so I about the attitudes held by many of forward. However anonymous surveys, geared to find "real" results, focus my concern on a different sec- the individuals of not only Laurier, not just reported ones, are beginning to disprove the claims of femi- tor of people: those who declare but of our society. It is clear from his Privileged nist movements that "six of ten marriages experience cam- say violence." themselves "tolerant" of homosexu- letter that the anti-homophobia - (See US based National Crime Victimization Service) als, as long as they don't have to paign is necessary. elite me? A secondary point to this is the common sense question: If some- "see it". No one should be made to First of all, I do not think that he one doesn't come forward, how can anyone reliably assess the feel ashamed of love, and simply has a right to speak for the rest of us Dear Editor amount of times assault occurs? being "generous" enough to tolerate when he says that, "The Cord jumps As a member of Mr. Axworthy's so- All the talk in the world about statistics and trying to explain the their existance is not enough. I do on the Political Correct minority called "privileged elite," I wonder if I discrepancies of both sides' arguments are not going to solve the feel, however, that many of these bandwagon and champions a cause could respond to the remarks made problem of violence against women. There is absolutely no denying "tolerant" people have the intelli- that many people have no interest by him and by our own Students' that there is one and it must be stopped. However feminist move- gence and compassion to think it in." One cannot speculate that Union pres, Ralph Spoltore. ments that advocate statistics that generalize and foster unprovable through and figure it out, if not now, homophobia would not be one of It's a little perplexing figuring out facts is not the answer. In fact, it may go as far as undermining the at some point in their lives. I also the top ten concerns at our school. exactly how "privileged" I am to issue ofviolence in general. think that reading a letter like yours After all, I was one who sat at the belong to an academic institution In another case at Laurier, two male students were recently may help them to decide to extend booth for many hours handing out with a Students' Union that favours a charged with sexual assault causing bodily hann and sexual assault their tolerance in order to move their buttons and posters to people who position that, at best, represents the with a weapon. The two individuals, both members of the Varsity own position farther away from seemed to me very interested and interests of a few of its members. Mr. Hockey team were suspended from the sport immediately and had yours. concerned about the issues Spoltore and the rest of the Ontario other restrictions put on their eveiyday life by the school. Some peo- So congratulations on the point suurounding homosexuality. I was Undergraduate Student Alliance feel ple were upset that they were not kicked out of school. This all you helped make; your letter was also one who took down defaced that one must "pay their fair share occurred well before the two accused were even brought to trial. probably more effective than the signs that were up around the for top quality" as he puts it, with Contrast this incident with the event involving BOD member posters you were complaining about. school. If it was not important and of overall tuition hikes to as much as Russell Clark. Clark was convicted over the summer of assault after he And please, don't flatter yourself into "no interest" to the general populace, $48,000. Coming from an educated, slashed the face of another Laurier student at the Ezra street party last thinking that your opinion reflects then someone please explain to me but working class background, I am year. The victim of the assault was cut open and is permanently some kind of overwhelming majori- why it is a growing issue, and espe- indeed lucky to attend university, scarred. I personally witnessed the event and I can assure anyone ty- cially, regarding Laurier, why people after which I ideally will become a that the whole incident was disturbing, and deserved more than the Janine White take the time out to deface posters? productive member of society. week jail sentence Clark was given. I think that part of what we're However, I am a rare case. Mr. What action did the university take against Clark? None. Both the doing here is to elicit a response Axworthy, I think, is confusing the Students' Union and the Administration of the school left the incident Campaign from people like G.K. to see just educational elite with another advan- as is. The only repercussion Clark suffered was the 72 hours of jail how bad our situation is. I also think taged group, the financial elite. An time that he served. The "punishment" that the two men have posts garbage that anything that is brought to our honest enough mistake, I guess. received is occurring before they are even convicted. Does it show attention, through the media (and After all, the two groups are very that Laurier and society in general have double standards toward Dear Editor not just the Cord), about issues such similar. In fact, they can almost be crimes of violence when they are committed against men as opposed I am writing to express my dis- as homophobia are done for the seen to go hand in hand, as general- to a women? pleasure witli the "anti-homophobia" purpose of awareness. It's important ly, membership to one leads to I have absolutely no axe to grind with Russ Clark; to be honest posters around Laurier. I can't to know what is happening not just membership ofthe other. I've heard lie is a very good BOD member. I also totally respect the believe that this sort of garbage is in this bubble of university life, but There are many out there who argument that once someone has served their punishment they are posted in an institution of "suppos- in the community we live in as well. would like nothing better than to free to do as they please. So why aie the other two men not pennit- edly" higher learning. They express "This campaign won't realize any become the "elite," along with the ted to? Could it be that the administration at the school gave in to the nothing more than some moral fas- of its intended effects either." Well, I rest of us, but simply do not have political forces that drive the feminist movement? cist's attitude aimed at thought con- would say that we generally attract the resources to do so. And by This situation is not only symptomatic of the problem in this par- trol. "A CLOSED MIND IS A WON- like-minded individuals, and obvi- increasing the cost of this "privilege," ticular case; it is, I believe, a problem when dealing with violence in DERFUL THING TO LOSE," is an ously G.K. speaks for those that are even greater numbers of bright, artic- I general. People who commit violent acts should l)e punished and outright attempt to coerce people like himself, "pissed off ', and likely ulate people will feel that the debt punished harshly. Politicians should allocate money in order to do into adopting the same point of view narrow-minded. We do it for the load is more than the value of "top this, not to give rise to movements that seem to deem the problem an as their author. It is propaganda, purpose of awareness. Open your quality" education. This being the ideological one and not a criminal one. Ultimately these movements and it is objectionable. minds and see what else you can case, most higher education students alienate moderate people, who would otherwise embrace the cause. I am not a 'homophobe'. I sim- find out about homosexuals and will come from upper tax brackets. I know that this column will generate some problems among par- ply am beginning to hate some of proceed to judge these people, if And this trend will continue. Believe ticular groups of people. To be totally honest, I don't care what peo- the gay community here at Laurier. I that is your desire, by WHO they are me. ple think, who use a situation to foster their own self-interest. have gay friends, some of them here and not WHAT they are. If you then Many friends of mine decided The problem of violence against women (and violence in general) at Laurier. It's the silly propagandists choose to "resent" these people, be not to join the privileged elite. Not

will never be solved or even reduced with the ideological balderdash that I hate, and that's got nothing to my guest! - I'm not saying that I like because they were unintelligent or that both sides of the argument give in order to enhance their own do with their sexual orientation. It's everything and everyone myself, but did not make the grade; it was a sim- cause. It will only be solved by a crackdown on those who are got to do with their 'coercive' meth- I certainly have the capacity to ple matter of not having the advan- responsible for it. ods. Their intolerance of other peo- ACCEPT people. tage of coming from a financially Editorial by Pete Robinson, Assistant Sports Editor ple's intolerance does not justify their I think what I'm most curious secure background, and the thought Ilx' expressed in ibis editorial are those Ibeauthorand do not necessarily those the opinions of ivflect of own. Two wrongs a is George's to of amassing a huge debt when they rest of the Cord staff, orofits publisher, Wl.lJStudent Publications. do not make about decision claim

as Editorial Board Cord Staff Public Relations Manager Harjit Shoan The Cord will not print anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature, violation ol its Editor-in-Chief Ingrid Nielsen Production Assistants Jeremy Kerr Advertising Manager Tim Silk deemed I))' thesulfas a voting Ixxly. TheCord will not print anything in Code of lithics. outlined in The Cord (Constitution. (brd subscription rates are >n. News Editor Mark Heasley Andixni' White Ad Sales Representatives Vacant Ihe (.ok is the cord per term foraddresses within Cinada, and J 18.00 foroutside thecountry. Associate News Editor Amanda Dowling Classified Coordinator TraceyBowers Ad Production Manager Mara Baldassarre printed by CanWeb Printing. The Cord is a memberol Canadian University Pftss- necessarily ivfleci those o A Laurier University Entertainment Editor Charles Fairley Circulation and Filing Adam Dallaway Ad Production Assistants Janelloni commentary is strictly the opinionol the writerand does not Wilfrid the Coal staff, the editorial board. or WLU Publications. Copyright© I99 !7 by Student Publication Assistant Entertainment Editor Shauii Callaii Copy Editors l.ihbi Hood Kelly Kerr Student Publications. 75 University Avenue West, Waterkx), Ontario N21.3C5. Editor Scott Stinson Dan IHrieau David Kerth Sports Bllodcau, Assistant Sports Editor Pete Robinson International Coordinator Lilian Schaer Treasurer Sara Kossignoli Contributors: Tom llrubcs, Steve Ilunwicks, Jason wlusp Coppens, Steve Features Editor Greg Sloan Student Publications Staff Board of Directors Sheldon Page, Rob Glover, Steve Karpink, Roxanne Dieter, Scott Cullen, Carrie Dunford, I.isa luglics, Mike Donia, Selma 75 University Avenue West, Production Manager Paul McU'an Photo Manager Kelt Watson President Heather MtmdeU I Kertn, Bouvier, Melanie Seal, Tanya Ventura, Selene MacLeod, Dave Waterloo, N2L 3C5 Staff Representative l.ibbi Hood Photo Technicians Marion Hensel Directors Susan Many Martin, Ontario, Aaron Hunter, I leather Mackay, Jason I'aul, Brad Ross, Dainien (519) 884-2990 Erica Scime I'hill Kinzinger DavidJanzen Damni Mahaffy Izabcl Waite, Mike McLachlan, tara Ilaynes, Samantha Toucllie, Dale Hurley Ciary Van Fax: (519) Graphic Arts Technician Kim John McKenzie 'Una Romano Sweeney, Peter Madaka Wanyanta, Kevin "Jpeg" Randall, 884-5596 lingen, Reading. 884-5092 Art Director Anton Volcansek Sean Wilde Andrew Advertising: (519) Systems Administrator James Hendricksen

• 14I • February 8, 1995 • The Cord Opinion left was hardly the incentive they were look- As third year business students, we have ing for. Even now, there are some on my about as much interest in attending the Twist floor at Willison Hall who say that if and as we do 8:30 core. However, seeing as two when tuition rates rise, they may not be able of our nine roommates have found employ- to afford to stay at our little elitist school. Or ment at said establishment, we felt "Laurier any other for that matter. night" was a perfect opportunity to make a OUSA, much like an anemic little brother, return appearance. VOCAL CORD desperate for a voice, disagrees with the We purchased our drinks and enjoyed the BY: PETE ROBINSON AND MARION HENSEL much larger and daring Canadian Federation scenery as we waited to see our roommates of Students. So when Mr. S|X)ltore says we're earn their pay. This was when the trouble you could cheat on your Valentine, in favour of the was as If ratified funding system, I started. The bouncer glancing around wonder who exactly is the "we" that he is if looking for an excuse to make an example who wouldyou cheat with? talking about. of someone. I was afraid to talk to my room- When over ten thousand students, span- mate, for fear of reprisal. Suddenly, the ning from every province and curriculum, bouncer decided action was necessary. The protest on Parliament Hill, you'd think that offense? It was evil, unspeakable, and unfor- the guys at the OUSA just might get the mes- givable!! My God, one of us was sitting on a sage. This is hardly a "black eye in the face of speaker. Heat up the electric chair, ready the students." noose, prepare the lethal injection, fill the gas On the contrary, Mr. Spoltore, it is a sign chamber! Automatically the bouncer had of bravery. It demonstrates that a will to stand radio in hand, calling reinforcements to deal up for a belief - that education should be with the hoodlum on the speaker. As the accessible to everyone - exists. Not just those bow-ties swarmed our poor speaker-sitting fortunate enough to afford fifty grand. I do friend, he fell to the floor in a choke hold, agree with Spoltore that discussion is impor- thinking 'how can I possibly give this guy a tant, and that through dialogue many ques- piece of my mind without provoking the The artist formerly known Ellis Fuckin' anybody tions can be addressed. However, sometimes wrath of ten other bouncers?' as Prince. Bridgett Evenwein Gina Levy a protest - or a strike - is the only way to get Realizing it was a useless battle, he gave Jessica Scott Bookstore Staff 4th Year History and those voices heard. up and left peacefully, without a punch 2nd Year Communications Honours Shawn Geography If Mr. Axworthy really wants to make a thrown. All this was over a prime speaker Studies buck, he should know full well that the privi- seat. What's up with that? Maybe the Twist leged elites in this world make a heck of a lot will stay in business long enough to lose all more than those not belonging to the club. It of the money they've charged Laurier stu- states the obvious, but these privileged few dents over the years. You don't always need also pay more in taxes, spend more money, to fight force with force. No, you just spend Why must we give up our right to go out using Foot Patrol and arming ourselves is and stimulate the economy. From a purely your money somewhere else and have a alone? If our foremothers had accepted the only perpetuating the idea that women need economic standpoint then, having as many good time, maybe even resting occasionally hostility towards them at the turn of the cen- a protector. I am not against Foot Patrol; I people getting an education as possible is on a speaker. tury, women would never have gotten the think there are times when it is a very valu- good business. But alas, myopic vision pre- James Kennedy vote or been declared persons. If we go on able service, but I resent being told I need it. vails, and short term answers are far more buying whistles and alarms and pepper spray Heather Postill sellable to disgruntled baby boomers with we will never be able to walk alone. As it is, debt paranoia on the brain. Don't blame the fear of assault already controls many David Ungar aspects of women's lives. It detennines where women we go, when we go, who we go with, how Letters due we get there, how we dress, who we talk to It was all Dear Editor, and how we talk to them. I believe it will by Monday, I am responding tojenna Scott's "Take the only end when we are tucked safely in our overa seat Walk" letter (January 25, 1994) in which she little houses. This Cult of Fear is also an eco- advises women to take safer measures when nomic free-for-all; if at least half this country's nMnoon, Dear Editor walking alone at night. While I can under- population is female, imagine the revenue We all remember first year at the Twist, stand her viewpoint as it is a widely held one, generated if every woman buys only one per- on disk or with the bouncers all stnitting around in their I could not believe her attitude. Scott says sonal security device. lx)w-ties and ear-plugs, pretending they are "we must accept" the fact that women have to Scott also says that "walking alone is...per- via e-mail secret service agents. Well let me tell you a he more careful, effectively implying there is petuating the situation" which is nothing short true story that will explain the new-found nothing we can do to change it. I am leery of of ridiculous. How else are we to resist the success of the Lyric night club. the word "accept"; why must we accept it? limitations on our freedom? On the contrary, ([email protected]}

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The Cord • Opinion • February 8, Iffs • 15 Importance of Black History Black History Month means more thanjustlooking back

PETER MADAKA WANYAMA accepting black actors, actresses and direc- country. they never gave up. Today there is a sense of Opinion Cord tors. This morning I stopped at a greatly dec- There is a tendency to associate history frustration amongst many. Lack of opportuni- As I was flipping through a copy of the orated African Bulletin Board. with the powerful societal actors of the ties, crime, and hopelessness abound; there is Globe and Mail last week, I came across an This month is important to all of us, not day....e.g King's failed visit to Canada, the apathy, and a surge of racism and homopho- article by a Doctoral student at Queens because it gives us the opportunity to look Hollywood struggle against racism, or bia. Most do not see themselves as part of the University. The article talked about how Dr. back and question what happened in the Habbard's victories. social forces shaping the history of this coun- King's plans tor a quiet vacation in Canada past, or how accurately it was recorded, but While these are important parts of our try. Many have ceased dreaming and aspiring, were never realized. Yesterday I read a rather because it reminds us that we, black history, greater emphasis should be on a and with them a bit of this country's future lengthy article about Hollywood finally Canadians, have a history, a great past in this record of events generated by all the social has died. forces of the time. Thus We miss an history should not only be important part of black a record of masculine This month is history month when out events, a mirror of particu- to we only take stock of Painfully cold there! lar constellations of power important all of the past and fail to at the time, or selectively us only because locate ourselves in the Frostbite is due to cold exposure, and depth ly. However, areas which have been frostbit- crafted to project the pro- not current flow of events, of injury depends on temperature and dura- ten will be very sensitive to cold weather and tagonists in a better light. it gives us a dance when we fail to see tion of exposure. have an increased susceptibility to repeat In so doing, we miss out a the opportunities and Areas commonly affected are the ears, tips frostbite injury. Chances of frostbite are greater part ofour history. to look back threats of our day, our of fingers, toes and the nose. Frostbitten areas increased if you are wearing a cast or elastic Blacks have been a contributions and chal- are hard and white at first, then become red, bandages. Prevention of frostbite, therefore, is part of this country since lenges. The unac- mottled and swollen. °112 prime importance. Wear the 18th century. They have shared in the knowledged heroes and unknown soldiers in Blisters may devel- adequate clothing, pains and joys of this country, the hopes, whose honor I write, lit the torch so we op within 24-36 hours. Healthy Thoughts including hats, mittens, aspirations and faistrations too. As domestics could pass it on, not extinguish it. We are Do not debride blisters. By Dale Sweeney 112 leg coverings and or farm hands, their contributions to this here because we accepted that responsibility. The affected area is I lxx)ts. country 'stand tall'. In the great wars of this Boys and girls in our communities, painless until thawed Wet shoes and socks century, they fought with valor. Many fell so schools, colleges and universities are there- and then pain may be severe. should be changed immediately, and not we could stand. As true patriots, they paid fore an important link in the loop. With them The frozen part should be rapidly worn all day to prevent a condition called the ultimate price to demonstrate their love of lies renewal and continuity.

rewarmed in water at 100 - 105 degrees Chilblain. This can cause itching and burning Canada. Today, numerous monuments of the Black history month gives us the opportu- Farenheit (use a thermometer), continuing dermatitis which is painful, red and swollen. 'unknown soldier' adorn Canadian and nity not only to pay tribute to those who built until all pallor disappears. Do not rub the This condition usually occurs on the fin- European cities to symbolize our undying bridges of their own bodies so we could affected part. Because frostbite results in gers, toes, ears, or knees. The exposed area appreciation of the choices these heroes cross the rivers, those who offered their injury to the cells, water temperature higher should not be heated since this will make made. shoulders as ladders so we could have a than 105 degrees F could cause the tissue to itching and irritation worse. Black history month is a reminder to the glimpse of the paradise afar, but it is indeed a burn. Noses and ears may be wanned gently If you suffer from frostbite, a visit to the youth of this country of how seriously black tribute to all the social forces that constitute by another person's warm hands. doctor is recommended if blisters fonn, ooz- Canadians took their responsibilities in this this great land. Most cases of frostbite seen in young ing or pus is visible, skin begins to become country. It was hard, as their hopes to find It is a celebration of our strength in diver- adults are superficial and will heal complete- black and significant pain is experienced. freedom and equality here were dashed, but sity, because together, we make history.

ON THE Sand cord feedback

Boner's father was named Sylvestor. We need a lost and found section (free). J. Lemaich We need lots of snow.

' We need more money. be seen ,n Why wasn't a photographer out at the biz Aaron Betik games? We gave you tons of advance. Also, Hey Cliff 13ilyea. Why would you write a let- r our interest in the biz games has nothing to ter to the editor? Your department's biggest do with our presence at the strike. We're sick legacy is the amount they take from stu- and tired of either biz students being dents. slammed in the Cord, or not getting paper Pete Robinson coverage. By the way, a lot of our ÜBG vol- What's the big idea of bashing Theatre unteers were in the Arts and Science Laurier's play? It was a fabulous performance Department. with excellent acting and a superb set. Next \ Brenda Crombeen time the Cord reviews a play, they should models available: send someone who can appreciate theatre, W Which doesn't fit; Shannon, Cottonelle, The someone who can write, and try attending a • e * w|re Cord, and a Mac Truck. perfomance instead of critiquing a rehearsal. TiLy \ (prescription available) Ryan Huntley Adrienne Park HTM * ZERO/0.4 and W | SUB-ZERO ELECTIONgyff 995 I { I • EYEJACKET K U -the newest! CAST YOUR VOTE ■c I \ Be the first to wear it! ON FEB. 16TH MM • HEATER, STRIKE, FOR p/l ¥ HYBRID or SWEEP STUDENTS'UNION g' -we have them all. IBARRON AND At Student fd Prices! STUDENT PUBLICATION gf 6 0 WK ic l< S tlr ee t, Kitchener ELECTIONS yf 74 5 -JO 57 I

• » 1995 • The Cord Opinion 16 February 8, GARY VAN LINGEN the surprise element to meeting me and I Cord Opinion cannot suddenly confront people with Eiai^iMaiHiMaiaiaiaianaiaiaiam^ , [ was questioned the other day at work as their stereotypical assumptions. to why I always want to wear my sexual The increased visibility, on the other orientation on my sleeve. hand, does help give a face to the cause, My co-worker is not the only one to proving that "yes, there are gays, lesbians have asked this and it is something which and bisexuals here". has been asked time and time again by To constantly point out the fact we are people purporting to be liberal minded. not getting equal treatment and then > i IHH I11.Iky■ 1 To my co-worker and to all the others, remain in hiding almost undermines our . | this is my answer as to why I wear the own attempts. I personally prefer to pre- | button. sent a reality which would otherwise be first hidden. The and a 1 foremost reason is There is also S I 1 m purely political. One the fact that unless of the causes of you are considered palace homophobia is lack stereotypical, you will Idragon of contact between automatically be & Buffet the homophobic Inqueeries assumed to be hetero- I Szechuan Chinese 1 people and people Gary van sexual. This has by Lingen ! 75 Weber Street, Waterloo (Zellers Plaza) 888-7200 I who are gay, lesbian caused me some grief or bisexual. While it would be nice to over time as women, usually co-workers, think that these homophobic people get to know me and find in me a poten- would go out of their way to overcome tial for being their partner. It has proven \ this substantial deficit in their lives, their embarrassing time after time as their inter- BtJff£T m1 Pm ICKWCSC a fear and hatred tends to get in the way of est in me was obvious to everyone else 1 such a noble endeavour. If ihey do not but me, usually turning out to be even want to come to me I guess 1 should more embarrassing to the women when encounter them. they are informed that I am gay and there- I I P Bui because 1 do not have the stereo- fore unavailable. typical behaviour, I am not readily identi- By being honest from the beginning, fied as being gay. Being this "stealth fag- the women and I could have avoided this got" is quite fun at times, usually being situation altogether and now by wearing able to go where stereotyped people (les- the button, I assure myself that this will Prc^Q^B^^H bigay or heterosexual) are not readily not likely happen in the future. accepted and where I can get close to The third reason is very similar to the people. preceding one but certainly more selfish. We could l~>e talking and jesting togeth- Without any identifying signs, people er, showing them I am a real person, and assume I am heterosexual. Being single I and this assumption stuRBSBQi^H then BANG! I tell them am gay all of presently and looking, I a sudden, they are confronted with some- really sucks. I hope that by being out, & one who shows them everything that they can find that one guy with whom 1 could have men is a with who is not SSE9^^B taught about gay form relationship and been ￿ wrong. It has worked a number of times afraid of being associated with someone .■SNPPPnV^^BB^H now, both at school and at work. But this this public. method of coming out to people is time Perhaps not the most romantic way to consuming and certainly taxing. meet someone, but hopefully it will work D I Wearing a button takes away much of sometime. B 1 j H J for the full weekend, or free for P rf^Q^Bß^l Ijgf ■bb^B^^H I I I ! from, all over Ontario will be attending ■ B §§B m ￿: Come up to the Cprd Offices RfVlßlfn^H^K^^H g . information ;... mwm

™ vJJP £ A sampling ofTopics and Campbell A o | \.\^ | * et€r atisse CL I r^ v i wmaummamm i unSports￿ Christine Rivet o : (KW Sports Reporter) oi»^' MBBMBa— «$p Journalisiti• Dennis Robinson /•.. (Photo % BBBHBBBBB^^^^^^^^I Editor, Globe andMl| || Jf , Kfi!lNiVITiT9ITiI(I98li!iT

BBB^^bvbbbnSVavTTVTfTrVixSTtVRQ MMBMUAEY PAY iUUULßlli^Hlxra CONGRATULATIONS TO: L&&|§UEU^^^^^^H Alice Mak Ist Prize i 2nd Karen McMunn Prize l Business Hours | Beth Curtain 3rdPrize 1 6 | Monday to Thursday & Sunday Mention j Jane Osborne..Honourable - | 1 1 :30am 10.00pm j

Be for the next LAURIER DRESS - Ready DAY: | Friday & Saturday 1 I:3oam 1 1:00pm I March 17, 1995 Ii i 1 Thanks to all who participated

• The Cord • Opinion • February 8, 1995 17 SPORTS Two big hockey wins

Laurier, fifth-year vet Mike Dahle on Sunday in Sudbury. After that scored at the 7:58 mark to make the come the two most important score 3-3- Four minutes later, games to date for Laurier, a "home Spoltore scored his first as the and home" versus Waterloo. This Hawks took the lead for good. That will likely decide second place and was followed two minutes later a sweep by Laurier could give them when he potted his second of the an outside shot at first. night. Notes.. .A reminder of the OUAA A Chris George empty net goal, Final Four March 4 & 5 at the Rec which Spoltore assisted on, finished Complex....Spoltore's eight points off the scoring for the Hawks and gives him 49 on the year and some made the final 6-4. breathing space atop the OUAA The game didn't start off as well scoring race, ahead of UQTR's Yvon as it finished, however. After Chris Bergeron. His career total to date is George and Mark Strohack scored 173, good for eighteenth on the all- (guess who assisted on both?) for time list. He is the highest active the Hawks, U of T was able to tie it player on the list as well as J.he only DIETER up before taking the lead at the 6:29 one to ever crack the top 20 in just mark, when Dave Hitchon scored three seasons....The OUAA media STEVE was not out before press Golden Hawk Spoltore (corner of net) scores on after a scramble in front of the net. release John Suddenly trailing to a team they time, but Geoff Schnare's 2.95 GAA Guelph goalie Georgie Dourian in Saturday's 6-2 Laurier win. PICTURE: should have been beating, in a will put him around fourth in the game they needed to win, things league. More impressive is his 90.2 PETE ROBINSON words descrite both Saturday's goal made some great saves to keep the did not look good for Laurier. save percentage. Cord Sports and the talent that is partially Grpyhs off the scoreboard. They However, thanks in The i lockey I lawks came up with responsible for Spoltore being at the were finally able to beat him thir- large part to Spoltore, their biggest two game effort to dale top of the league in scoring for the teen seconds after Spoltore scored Dahle and George, this year, beating U of T 6-4 and third straight year. his first goal of the evening, when Laurier was able to downing nationally ranked Guelph The other element that continu- Brad Haelzle fed a nice setup to climb out of the hole 6-2. ally lands "Spotty" at the top of the Adam Pender. That was followed by and use it as a spring- John Spoltore showed why he is leader board is the playmaking skill Todd Wetzel's power play marker board to perhaps their the single most dominant player in that has helped him count 32 assists early in the third. best game of the year on the league once again this year. The this year, with five of those coining However, that was all the scor- Saturday. third-year center counted eight last week. More on Spoltore in a ing the Aggies would get on this That performance points in two games to pace the moment, but first the game on night. has now given them Hawks to the two victories. He Saturday. Two minutes after the Spoltore sole possession of sec- sealed the game on Saturday when The Hawks never trailed in this goal, Shawn Way finished off the ond, after a Waterloo he undressed Gryphon netminder one. They jumped out to a 1-0 lead scoring for the night when he beat loss the night before to George Dourian and buried the when Don McConnell scored at the Dourian to put the Hawks up 6-2. Guelph. The Hawks still puck behind him, making the score 8:40 mark, and a Matt Turek power Spoltore's three point perfor- sit two points behind 5-2, at 12:32 of the third. Head play marker made the score 2-0 mance was somewhat undennined Western, who won both Hawk Wayne Gowing had this to before Smitty Kulafofski gave the by the performance he put up two times this weekend. WATSON say about Spoltore: "I don't know Hawks a three goal bulge at the nights before. With the Hawks trail- The Hawks' next KELI what it is; he always gets the goalie 12:02 mark. ing 3-2 midway through the third at game is Friday in Ryan Merritt fires a shot in Thursday to make the first move and once As has been the case on several home to a team that had no busi- Toronto versus Ryerson, nights Hawk win over Toronto. that happens, it's over." These occasions this year, Geoff Schnare ness being on the same ice as followed by Laurentian PICTURE: Is Clinton the answer?

SCOTT CULLEN executives simply decide how much the com- the owners will tiy to beat the salary tax or The chaos that is baseball is too much for CORD SPORTS pany can afford to spend on salaries and stay cap once it is instituted. Shortcuts and creative the government to handle. The players want As spring training approaches, major leaguers within their financial limitations. Obviously, accounting are commonplace in basketball more and more money. The owners keep are striking and fans are striking out. If there there are some baseball teams which are and, to a lesser extent, football. Baseball will paying them and then pleading poverty. The is anyone who can think of a solution to the falling short financially. When 8,000 people be no different. The team that can find the federal government may simply want to get baseball dispute, I'm sure it must be the show up for games in 40,000 seat stadiums, it loopholes will "beat" the system. Competition involved in this situation because baseball is American government. The Oval Office has is impossible to make money. The challenge is the essence of sports and the front office currently one of the few areas of society more dictated that an agreement must be reached that exists for these teams is the same as that people should compete like the players; how- senseless than itself. or else the government will propose a solu- which faces real businesses - either turn a ever, it is up to the baseball owners to be It would be best for all involved if the tion. This declaration by bill Clinton is purely profit or try the business somewhere else. accountable for their actions. Baseball teams owners and players got their acts together and for the good of America's national pastime, The smaller market teams just have a greater should just try being financially responsible. signed a new agreement before the American and not at all related to his precariously bal- challenge facing them. Although Major Then they will see how baseball truly is a government makes a decision that no one anced political future. It is nice to see a good- League Baseball does not want to have team business. likes. hearted politician who simply wants what is after team moving, the test solution for teams best for the people. If the relieved public hap- in cities that cannot support a franchise is to pens to credit him with restoring the game, find a city that can. and his popularity goes up, then so be it. That Baseball owners are claiming that they would merely be a coincidental benefit. need to slow down the players' rapidly inflat- While Clinton may be a sports fan (and ing salaries. Incredibly, in this business, the Runnin' free bless him and his Razorbacks if he is), it is still people who sign the cheques have no control not the government's place to resolve this dis- over salaries. Owners are responsible for cre- line pute. Baseball is a world unto itself; at least ating the monster of inflated salaries. Sure, MIKE DONIA so close that a videotape of the finish that's what the owners argued when the sport players like Curt Flood and Andy Messersmith CORD SPORTS had to be reviewed before the winner was gained its anti-taist exemption from the feder- paved the way for the big contracts of the The varsity Track and Field team traveled to determined. Mike al government. The real world does not have future with their initial battles for free agency. the University of Toronto Classic this past Other runners included rookie 60 mediocre millionaires or four months of holi- But, it was the owners who readily paid mil- weekend where the Hawks took the starting Foster who placed fourth in his heat of the to the days every year. Baseball has definitely set lions of dollars to mediocre players like line with some of the best runners in the metre sprint and is the latest addition itself adrift into its own version of The Manny Lee and Mike Gallego, and problem country. Golden Hawks' 4 * 200 metre relay team. Twilight Zone. cases like Pascual Perez and Darryl Despite numerous injuries, the team still The Hawks look forward to upcoming including However, baseball players and owners Strawberry. Players should have the qualifica- managed to post some good results. competitions in the weeks ahead like to use the time-honoured, real-world tions and references which merit their con- Continuing his strong season, Hawks' Jeff the University of Eastern Michigan Invitational Championship adage that "Baseball is a business". II that is tracts, just like a business. If the owners can- Seaby placed second in the men's 1500 metre and the upcoming OUAA University the case, why can these businessmen not not control themselves when it comes to section, just a fraction behind Queens' Tom meet to be held March 3-5 at the the first time the stick to their budgets? There are no businesses spending, then they have no one to blame Best. Seaby led most of the race and it was of Windsor. This will be championship in the real world with imposed limits on how but themselves. only on the last lap that Best pulled up along- track team has attended the much they can pay their employees. The Evidence from other sports suggests that side Seaby for a photo-finish. The race was meet in several years.

• • The 18 > February 8, 1995 Cord Sports NHL is back... sort of

a few early wins with his performance. playoff opponent. those teams on the road. Rookie free-agent Blaine Lacher has The Western Conference has not been The Leafs are still in the best shape of last been outstanding for the Boston Bniins. much kinder to the Vancouver Canucks and year's final four participants, but they need to Stephane Fiset has also backstopped the Toronto Maple Leafs. The Canucks have been get some wins strung together to establish Nordiques to a strong start. embarrassed 7-1 at home by the Blues, and themselves in the early going, or else wait The Nordiques have been very have lost to Detroit and Toronto as well. and see who they will visit for the first round impressive in the early going. This team, Pavel Bure is not off to a good start, and the ofthe playoffs. If the start of the season is any which has been notoriously weak Canucks are not blessed with enough scoring indication, the Leafs do not want to stray too defensively, allowed only five goals in to survive a mediocre season from the far from home. its first four games. The Nordiques also Russian Rocket. The Buds, on the other hand, Notes: Anyone watching the Leafs play have many forwards who can put the have not been too impressive in the early the Chicago Blackhawks saw the season's puck in the net, so they should be con- going. They lost in San Jose 3-2 (courtesy Ray best lightweight bout. Tony Amonte and sidered strong contenders if their Whitney dancing and Jeff Friesen gliding by Dixon Ward, both products of U.S. college defense can hold up. rookie Kenny Jonsson). The Leafs had also hockey, went toe-to-toe in the United Centre. Another team off to a strong start is tied the Kings on opening night, and lost in Amonte landed several rights squarely on the Pittsburgh Penguins. While that has their first trip to the United Centre in Chicago. Ward, while Ward fought back gamely and been standard practice for the Pens, Home ice has helped the Leafs rebound as finally knocked down Amonte with a solid they are doing it without Mario Lemieux they handled the Canucks 6-2 and edged the shot. For two players who do not drop their and Tom Barrasso. Lemieux will miss Flames 2-1, but then they went down to both mitts too often, it was an impressive showing. the entire season to recover from his various ailments, and Barrasso is out until April. Veterans Joey Mullen and John Cullen have connected well together, and Jaromir Jagr looks like he is ready to fulfill his potential. Strong showing Furthermore, Ron Francis, Kevin Stevens, and Luc Robitaille have contin- ued their scoring ways. in action. Andreychuk: Missing PICTURE Perhaps the biggest question sur- limn mi ii ii ii ii 1111 urn FILE rounding the start of the season is what skating team has happened to last year's final four? from SCOTT CULLEN The New York Rangers, who were supposed Cord Sports to be helped so much by the delayed start to USA HUGHES being held at. 7:30 am on Saturday, M.G. The NHL season has now staited, and several the season, have stumbled out of the gate Cord Sports Davis and Julie Stiehul still managed to skate interesting stories have emerged. To begin with losses at home to Pittsburgh, Boston and The Golden Hawk figure skating team was a clean program to move into fourth place. with, there has been a severe lack of goals. Buffalo. Across the river in New Jersey, the off to the OWIAA finals last weekend in The last event of the day, and the most People were predicting shoot-outs eveiy night Devils have struggled so far. They have had Gueiph. The skaters had a long weekend, meaningful one for all involved, was preci- for the first few weeks of the new season; problems scoring goals, and looked particu- competing for two days. sion. After a tough season with rookies and however, the results have been just the oppo- larly sloppy in a 5-1 defeat at the hands of the The performance of die weekend came new steps to learn, the girls came through site. Goaltenders are playing a large role in Montreal Canadiens. Both the Rangers and from two veterans, who for the first time in with beaming smiles and encouragement for this goal drought. Many goalies have faced the Devils were supposed to be contenders their varsity careers, competed in a similar next season, 'flie team skated their best pro- 35-40 shots in a game and kept the opposi- for the Stanley Cup this year, but with the pairs event. After working hard at morning gram of the year, placing fifth. tion to two goals or less. Guy Hebert has shortened schedule they will have to right practices for the past three montl v and alter Congratulations to all of the Golden been doing the job in Anaheim, stealing them themselves quickly or face a tough first-round finding oui that their last competition was Hawk skaters for a fine season.

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• The Cord • Sports • February 8, 1995 19 Stumbling to the finish

improvement," the second half of the match. The and Kellie English each contributed which was evident first half saw Laurier lose a 15 - 1 4 kills. in the team stats. blowout, with lack of serve recep- Overall the Hawks played pretty Ostrom had 16 tion playing a nasty role in the loss. well, and just "lacked spark," said kills and 1 ace, Game two started out the same, Coach Leach. They were playing

Konowalchuk had 5 with the Hawks falling behind 11 - great in the third game, but the kills and 4 blocks, 2. They refused to lie down and die young team got frustrated with the and Krista though, and instead narrowed the bad call and couldn't shake it off.

Madlensky had 8 gap to 8 - 12, before losing 8 - 15. The Lakehead games were the kills, but Friday The third game involved some last two home games of the season night really of the best rallies the Hawks have for the Hawks. Before Saturday belonged to Hilary played this term. Laurier took an night's game a special presentation Yates with 18 kills, 7 early lead, but Lakehead tied it at 6. was made to Carrie Ostrom, who is blocks, and an ace. It remained close right to the end, graduating this year and was play- HOOD Coach Cookie Leach when Laurier was called for a net ing in her last home game ever. pegged Yates' per- violation that didn't really happen. Ostrom was a starting player in ÜBBI formance as the This gave possession back to the each of her four years at Laurier, Golden Hawk Carrie Ostrom attempts a kill in her final home game at "best she has played Nor'westers, who then claimed the and has been team captain for the Laurier. The team lost a of matches to over pair Lakehead the weekend. since she's been win, 16 - 14. past two years. Her dominating play PICTURE: stats were next here." Team pretty good will be missed year. LIBBI HOOD Game three began with the Saturday night's game was considering the Hawks didn't really The last two games of the CORD SPORTS same great play by Laurier, who led another gcxxl effort, with little in the show up to play until the second Hawks season are Wednesday the What do you get when you cross a the game 8 - 3 before Lakehead way of good results. They played game. Ostrom had 9 kills, Yates had Bth at Western, and Friday the 10th team from Lakehead with Laurier's came back to tie it at 9. The Hawks some great volleyball, but only in 8 kills, 3 blocks, and Angela Lundy at McMaster. own women's volleyball team? couldn't put it back together after Unfortunately this past weekend, that, and as their serve reception SCOTT STINSON game with their strong stance. ty unique in itself. Thai's the good what you got were two consecutive took a nose-dive, Lakehead won CORD SPORTS Meanwhile, the owners and the news. The bad news is that the sea-

Hawk losses. the game 10 - 15. This is a bad time to be a sports league are seriously planning to son thus far has been disappoint- The Hawks did not go down Sloppy play continued into the fan. Pick a sport, any sport, and open the season with replacement ing. Phoenix has the league's best without a fight, though, and they fourth game, which saw the there's reason to be depressed. players. They claim that they have a record, but they can't beat a team

produced some real highlights dur- Nor'westers take a quick 10 - 3 lead. First, the obvious. This baseball responsibility to give the fans base- with a good centre. Orlando has ing their Friday and Saturday night With the match on the line, the situation just couldn't get any uglier. toll. That's a load of sanctimonious played very well at times, but seri- matches against the Nor'westers. Hawks fought back, again on the As it was the players who decided garbage. Replacement player base- ous doubts remain as to their ability Friday's match started with a strength of Yates and Ostrom's play, to strike, my feeling was generally ball will only serve to screw fans to put it together in the playoffs.

sound 15-4 thrashing of the to win 15 - 11. The fifth and decid- that they were the ones at fault. out of their money by giving them This is the team that got dusted by Hawks, but they were not down for ing game was close, but Lakehead Salaries in baseball are ridiculously second-rate baseball under the Indiana last year. The faceless

long as they came back to win the edged the Hawks 15 - 11 to win the high. As long as free agency is in guise of major league ball. Second- Houston Rockets took it all last second game, 15-6. Great hitting match. place, a salary cap is necessary to rate is really too generous a term. year, and don't be surprised if by the trio of Carrie Ostrom, Tara Despite the loss, Laurier seemed ensure that small market teams are Teams are busy recruiting players another dull team ends up being Konowalchuk, and especially sec- to be back on top of their game in able to remain somewhat competi- who have little or no professional crowned champion this season. Hie

ond year player Hilary Yates this match. Team captain Ostrom tive. Either a cap is » league is missing the star seemed to turn the Hawks around. said it was "definitely a huge team installed, or small teams power of guys like Magic, with limited funds will be Bird, Jordan, and Isaiah. forced to either fold or There are many talented relocate. It's that simple. young players, but none Now, I have to won- Outside of them have yet shown The Cord NHLfool der. Houston signs Jeff that they can carry a team Bagwell to six million to the next level like those It's Week 2 of the NHLPoo! and we have a new leader. bucks a year a couple of legends did. Yet. months ago. has had Hockey's back, or at least Yes folks, aided by the great weeks of Brett He theLines 'i A«lr\cva ImnmcctAn V\f it one really good season. a dose of it is Chelios, has impression Hull and Chris SamanthaTouchie Seattle sign> [ay Buhner to five mii experience. Bob the auto mechanic None of the teams are playing like blazed into first place. lion i year. Jay Buhner?' I a-ihal! low to Ramon the hairdresser to Louie they can. That much is obvious. Here's the Top Ten; and awa\. Guaranteed whrft the gas Jockey just doesn't have the However, they should came 1. SamanthaTouchie 127 points Both of these teams, from small appeal of Sprague to Alomar to around and hopefully all will he cities, 2. WendyWallace v.: -(■ MB "P: market are included in the Oierud. well soon. group who have been whining 'J he football reason is now over As for other sports, it's all pretty 3. Chuck Fairfey }' , , Jcf A'V about needing revenue .sharing and and once again, the NFI. has mas- grim George Foreman am! Oliver Tracy Brad fey 108 'm § 4* ffit a salary cap in order to remain tered the art of being anticiimauic McCail rule the boxing world Not S.Brad Parkin / 106 JT fgi competitive. If these teams are I'm a big Bills fan. but this annual exactly Alt and Frazier. Andre 106 5. Phill Ktnzinger,, i J- Jjjl|§f going to throw money at players AFC thumping is getting out of Agassi has won the last two major 6. Pieter O'Leary I 05 who don't deserve it, why should a hand. Two weeks of hype and the tennis tournaments. That punk 7. Anish Makim 103 cap protect them from their own Super Bowl is exciting for all of two Western won the Vanier. Those 8. Gary Watson 100 stupid intentions? The players do minutes. Here's hoping the NFI. punks 8. Nouman Siddiqut 100 have a point. chooses to go to an inter-conler- See? Sports, the one tiling meant 9. AgnesTimmerman 99 But the owners won't concede ence playoff svMem before we have to be an outlet when everything I O.Toby O'Hara, 112 J that point. They'll continue to harp to endure another Super Beating else sucks, jusi isn't as cheer)' any about their dire financial stiaits. and lhe NBA has managed to play a more. I'm 21 and I'm waxing nostal- Entrant (S-llftjk with 3 I Most Honest Sloan points. are ruining how the players the full season of games , which is pret- gic. That sucks.

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CHUCK FAIRLEY CORD ENTERTAINMENT Our Board of Student Activities has brought us some great concerts this year, and last Friday's Big Sugar show at the Turret was no exception. Well-known locals The Flaming O'Haras opened the show, sporting a changed lineup and some new mate- rial. Bassist Toby O'Hara has taken over the role of lead vocalist, and Bryan McLelland has joined the band on dnims. Their set was smoking, and there was a fair crowd out by that time to see them. They debuted a solid new song entitled "Green Bath", as well as performing selections from their self-titled album and some great covers, including renditions of Jimi Hendrix' "Voodoo Chile" and the Allman Brothers' "Whipping Post" (after some coercion from their fans). Big Sugar took to the stage next and turned out a blazing hour-and-a-half set. They played material from their latest release "Five Hundred Pounds" as well as some earlier material. Guitarist and vocalist Gordie Johnson also turned out a fantastic solo rendition of the blues classic "When You're Down and Out" to close off the encore. Gordie Johnson is definitely the Harry Connick Jr. of the blues - the skinny suburban-looking white boy with the amazing chops and massive voice. He ripped out powerful, soulful leads and driving rhythm work, using a variety of guitars and amplifiers that made the stage look like a vintage guitar show. His strong, smooth voice would have made Elmore James proud. Big Sugar is more than just Gordie though. He is more than ably backed by his rhythm section of Gary Lowe on bass and Stitch Wynston on drums, as well as horn player Kelly Hoppe, and the band just works well on stage, feeding off each other. "I just start play- ing it, and they pick it up," says Gordie. The four-piece group seems to connect exception- ally well, and one could tell by looking at them that they were just jamming and having fun up there, a feeling that was infectious through the large crowd. "It doesn't matter how I'm feeling before, the crowd gets me going," Gordie also remarked. This was definitely one of the best shows to come to Laurier in a long time, and special thanks has to again go to the BSA for their hard work and for mak- ing the show possible.

Gordie's blues

Higher learning tries too hard

HEATHER MACKAY sity campus through the eyes of three very Singleton's first film, Boyz in the Hood, was supporting actors were brilliant: Laurence

CORD ENTERTAINMENT different characters: Kristen (Kirsty Swanson), refreshing because it was real — it sought to Fishbume was excellent as Professor Phipps,

The poster for director John Singleton's new Malik (Omar Epps), and Remy (Michael bring life in the 'hood to the screen — noth- Malik's mentor; Ice Cube was amazing as film Higher Learning reads: "18,000 students, 6 Rappaport). Kristen is the pretty, but socially ing more. Higher Learning attempts to exam- black nationalist Fudge; and Cole I lauser was races, 32 nationalities, 2 sexes, 1 campus. conscious, white girl who is rejected by the ine every issue that is prevalent on a universi- chilling as the brains(?) behind a gang of skin- Something's gotta give." While I may be a snob set, raped by a fraternity guy, and ty campus (and thus in society) and therefore heads. Even Singleton's girlfriend, supennodel sucker for Hollywcxxl advertising, this poster experiments with lesbianism. Malik is the no issue is examined deeply enough — Tyra Banks, was good. made me want to see the film. I expected to black athlete, attending school on a scholar- unlike Boyz we never know what Singleton is Even though Higher Learning is somewhat see (finally) an intelligent movie about social ship, who is politically awakened, and comes trying to do. What could have been a highly superficial, I would recommend it (on a tensions on a modern university campus. to believe his scholarship is a form of slavery. emotional and significant film ends up as a Tuesday night), because it does bring some Well, many movies fail to live up to the hype Remy is the white farm boy outcast who fails superficial and stereotypical look at American very important issues to light. It is high time which surrounds them, but Higher Learning is to fit in, and thus becomes a violent skinhead. society. that society confronts racism and homopho- the first movie I have seen which does not So many stereotypes, so little time. Despite the failings of the film, Singleton bia. Hopefully, Higher Learning is just the first even live up to the jxxster which advertises it. Higher Learning is not by any means a ter- did bring out some excellent performances. of many films that will examine these issues, I ligher Learning examines life on a univer- rible film, it just tries to do too much. All the major roles were well acted, and the and how they affect universities.

February 8 Centre in the Square through the 11th • Loverboy arc a! Lulu's • The IJW Drama Department's presentation February 10 • The Watchmen are at Lee's Palace of Oleanna opens at 112 'f's I fagty Hall • Glueleg and Rusty are at the Volcano February 12 Studio 180 • BJuesynergy are at Wiifs • The WLU Music Association Benefit Concert • Tlit' Little Eagles of Siberia are at Centre in • The Ontario Ballet Theatre presents The is in the Maureen Forrester Recital Hall the Square Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe at UW's • The K-W Symphony presents a February 9 Humanities Theatre Bamc nusik Series concert at the Seagram • Yellow Go Faster, Finnigan's Tongue, and • NUMUS presents This that is beautiful... at Musetui Black Cabbage are at the Volcano the Seagram Museum February 14

• Soul Providers are at Wilt's February II • Pete and Chad are live at the Crocodile • The K-W Symphony presents a Pops Series • B)u Bones and Ritual are at the Volcano Rock in Zeke's Restaurant Hang ■ ■oik fit Top Trios: The Mantini Sisters at the • The Arrogant Worms are at Wiffs * , • Burton Cummings is at Lulu's

• 8, • The Cord Entertainment 22 February 1995 Where to In fairness to our friends at Theatre Laurier, it should be noted that Melanie Seal's story 'ast week on The Regeneration Gord's ramble of George McGraff was based on viewing a final technical rehearsal, and not an actual performance. SELENE MACLEOD you need a starting point. "Something gave the impression of a reflective Cord Entertainment we strive for, as a band, is to be just and melancholy intimacy with the When the owner of the Shamrock ourselves...lf you love the music, audience. "As long as a couple peo- Coffee House asked me to cover a you're' doing what you like at any ple are listening, you usually end up show last Saturday, January 28, I point," Gord added. just playing for them," was Gord's wondered how they were going to fit Gord's Ramble is based in answer, when I asked if it was diffi- a full band in there. Cramped but Kitchener-Waterloo. They've been cult to play over the noise of coffee- brilliant, Gord's Ramble proved that together about five years, and play grinding and conversation. I found it anything is possible. more in other places than their home a bit unnerving, but the band assured "We're a quiet, low-key band; we area. They have produced two inde- me that they'd gotten used to it. don't bring a lot of attention to our- pendent CDs, When They Write His Maybe it was the completely dif- selves, (so) if people hear about us, Memoirs (1990) and Harbour Songs ferent atmosphere than I'm used to as it's great, but we're not in their face," (1993, distributed by a reviewer, but live music at the bassist Paul Weiler offered, describing Darklight/Denon). They are working Shamrock was a unique experience. the band's style. Weiler, drummer on new music at the moment, and If you're looking for a new perspec- Bryan Bolan, guitarist/vocalist Gord may be recording soon. The band tive on the local music scene, try the Bolan, and guitarist Frank Myers play will be playing at the Cameron House Shamrock sometime. Gord's Ramble mellow tunes designed to make you in Toronto February 3, and as well at play there; what more incentive do shut up and listen. It's difficult music Garrett's Village Tavern Febaiary 11. you need? to classify; the band would fit easily The band played a number of on a bill with the Cowboy Junkies, if short sets, looking at the floor. They

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• • • The Cord Entertainment February 8, 1995 23 The customer is always stupid

u _li j Clerks deal with the bizarre and the bored

AARON HUNTER tential silliness of his life, it's turning without smacking too much of trendi- Cord Entertainment Dante into a quivering bowl of goo, ness. If we insist on looking at it as 'In Waterloo there are only two ways to have fun after the lights go out" Chances are, Clerks is about you. eager to hurst into flame. Randal an examination of unhappy people in Perhaps it's a distortion, a magnifica- ignores or abuses customers; Dante their twenties, then it's much closer to ~ PLAYING THIS COMING WEEK... tion or even a mild perversion of struggles to make them happy and the vision of Douglas Coupland than TT~T~%EORiqiNAlX ~T\% your experience with dead-end jobs meet their ridiculous needs. Whether patronizing tripe like X-Rated or, MlpmU. BLUE COURTROOM ThmllEß.— and stupid people, but if it was an it's the 'perfect' carton of eggs or just ugggh... Reality Bites. 9:lopm «ti» EXOTICA "An acid exact portrayal, it would be boring. some inane chit-chat about tabloid Problems with Clerks include satire of lon Holm This is a movie about Boredom; headlines, they want what they want some very shaky acting (at times) and ■ legal and Vmm Donald Pleasonce 7:oopm •(!• EXOTICA moral lysette Anthony boredom made into art, with a laud- and the clerk better give it to them, a slight feeling of claustrophobia due 9:oopm •*• THE ADVOCATE W uKJ&y able degree of success. It's the story or else. A perplexed dad in the video to the long, drawn-out shots and the of Dante and Randal, two best friends store: "What would you get for a six- limited number of sets. Considering ; who 'work' (more or less) at brainless old to get over a bed-wet- the production budget, 7:oopm •(!• THE ADVOCATE *Z7~ 1 w - year trying tiny however, monkey-jobs in a convenience store ting problem?" Sigh. Randal and Clerks comes off very well. Some of (^dvocate and adjoining movie rental place. Dante just want to play hockey. the conversation seems almost a bit They gone script is a gem. The too witty, as it - have beyond simple dis- The for Clerks but, mentioned earlier, 7:oopm •!!• THE ADVOCATE FiU«y F«b 10 Svriay Fab 12. R if it was 9:lSpmfKtUNGZOE like for their work, pushing back the rag-tag characters clearly articulate the would be boring real. Mil'nil! tIVUHH From the creators of frontiers of clock-watching and essential blah of their universe, in Definitely see Clerks. See it to PULP FICTION & TRUE ROMANCE acceptable behaviour. both actions and words. Relying only understand the fate of people who In the course of one day, they suf- seldomly on dumb old jokes, think too much. See it for the epic 9:oopm »R« THE P fer through a grim and hysterical writer/director Kevin Smith makes his conflict: irresistible force (angst, I parade of customers, at the same time dialogue as irritating and as genuine guess) meets immovable object (the 7:oopm *R* KILLING ZOE f S** attempting to cope as necessary to It's a grainy, See if not ' with troubled be funny: job). it, for yourself, then 9:2opm •«• /W^SWSCHINATOWN relationships, self-doubt, and a bit of abrasive and squalid version of for the brave people in the Centre

" accidental necrophilia. Although Singles It's a repressed minimum- Spot, who deserve your thanks and 7 00pm *BETTY BLUE A spellbinding thriller" • WVAI Radio Randal seems to thrive on the exis- wage version of Thelma and Louise your continuing respect.

\ mwMil®! 1 ( XUsbmsHsX-E'D ) I dream, I was riding them bareback (both of V fi6l7'?t623t J FiWty hk 10 - Moadiy F«b 13. R ius!) through fields of grass. The sun was | shining and birds were singing. I loved it. I Film Guidesavailable at 6 Princess St. W p woke up with a nocturnal emission. At first I Wilf's & The Centre Spot iBjlMSBMaffliUMMWaterloo 885-2950 U. was embarrassed but I kept remembering DYNAMIC DUO i how wonderful a time I had. Now when I by andVenturaMelanie Tanya Seal i have sex, I want to do it doggie (horsey) style. I want my girlfriend to whinny and Dear Dynamic Duo, bray and kick back while engaging in inter- Lately I have been having these really erotic course. She's getting upset because instead dreams that involve many women in long of smoking after sex, I offer her a carrot or robes and tiny pickles. What bothers me sugar cube. What should I do? about this is the stains these dreams have Signed, Mr. Ed teen leaving on my sheets. What am I to do? Signed, Wet Spot Dear Mr. Ed, It is vety presumptuous ofyou to compare Friday Dear Wet Spot, yourself to Mr. Ed, do you feel that you are Don't worry, a little "Shout" or "Ultra Tide" equine endowed? Where exactly is yourprob- □is will take the stains from your secret sauce lem? Does your girlfriend not like carrots? If Guest Drs right out. Another alternative you could try is she has a problem playing the pony, perhaps j§§ do may P\ rubber sheets, preventing any dribble marks let her the ruling for a while. You find on your mattress. An even better alternative is pleasure from her pumping and grinding, fro^p.A to find that special someone to be your living perhaps you will be neighing as she gallops wet/dry vacuum. Why deal with the hassle of you down to the wire. Ifyou need a little washing sheets when there is someone else encouraging to assume this position, she there to do the dirty work? If your new could use the help ofa crop. She should also employee has a problem with the job, add try riding bareback, even backwards to truly somepicklesfor taste. get you in a lather. Don'tforget to saddle up

with a condom - you don't want to hear the I Dear Dynamic Duo, pitter hooves. patter oflittle H Last night I had a dream about horses. In my Dynamic Duo

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• • 24• February 8, 1995 The Cord Entertainment Hollywood Stupidity The Million Dollar Question JASON PAUL million respectively for steaming up the screen in The Dumb Move Award also goes to Disney for its treatment CORD ENTERTAINMENT Specialist. This film barely recovered its costs and got killed of Robin Williams. They pay him only $750,000 for Aladdin The movie industry is probably the only recession proof by a smaller, independent movie called Pulp Fiction. But all is and then alienate him by using his voice for promotional pur- industry in the world. As a result, executives wind up paying forgotten because Sly is getting over $15 million for his next poses, against his wishes. Result: Return of Jafar starring ... way too much for mediocre talent and washed up stars. For project. Homer Simpson!?! example... Nick Nolte is a great actor, but $7 million for I Love BUZZZ: Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro in the new movie Macaulay Culkin got paid $8 million for Getting Even With Trouble? This guy has no box office pull and is not a good Heat. Meeting of the best two actors in the biz ... Cindy Dad and Richie Rich. The first movie was an absolute bomb weekend opener. And, he looks more like Julia Robert's Crawford's acting debut in Joel Silver's Fair Game. This movie

and closed the coffin on Ted Hanson's career. Once Culkin's father, not her love interest. will probably make a few bucks ... The new Spielberg- dad received his excessive demands for Richie Rich, he was a Eddie Murphy gets $15 million, to relive the glory days, in Katzenberg-Geffen studio is going to shake up Hollywood. whining teenager. See ya later Mac, your big money days are Beverly Hills Cop 111. Dumbest decision of the decade. I Talent, connections, and financial backing (Bill Gates), Wow!

over. wouldn't be surprised to see Eddie Murphy starring in a sit- ... Kevin Costner's new flick Waterworld: overbudget, over-

... The Mask and Ace The best buy of the year was Tom Hanks for Forrest com in a couple years ... co-staning Arsenio Hall. due, overhyped Prediction: Speed 2, 2 Gump. Cost: $6 million, Revenue: $300+ million. Remember Michael J. Fox earns $5 million for Greedy. Before the Ventura 2 will all suck. It's Pat: The Movie will become a cult when he was stuck 'doing silly comedies like Joe vs. the movie even opens he gets bumped from top billing to costar video. The Star Wars prequels (starring Kenneth Branaugh?) Volcano? Now, superstar of the nineties. with Kirk Douglas and Nancy Travis. When you make movies will be big but not as huge as the original trilogy. Sly Stallone and Sharon Stone received $12 million and $5 like Life with Mikey, that will happen to your career.

Who walks Foot Patrol home...... and other questions you were too afraid to ask!

BRAD ROSS address while driving you turn down the CordEntertainment volume on the radio? The following is a collection of questions • How does the guy who drives the snow- IF™! assembled via electronic mail and through plow get to work? deep, intellectual conversions at Laurier. • Who walks Foot Patrol home?

• • Free Why do you need a driver's license to What do you do if on a package it says | j buy alcohol when you can't drink and •This End Up' and you have to go down- drive? stairs?

• • If they have floatation devices under Does a pronoun get paid to be in the 11 Hour Service i plane seats, does this mean they have sentence? | for most single vision glasses | parachutes in Ixjats? • How can the government post 'Wrong

• On a farm, do chickens call other chick- Way' signs on roads if they don't know ens 'chicken' to coax them? where we are going?

• • Why do shipments go on a car. and Why is yawning contagious? (I guess Eye Examinations Arranged J ■ I ' cargo go on ships? we're lucky other bodily functions aren't) I "valid on 2 for 1 glasses only. Must be applied time of purchase only. Complete details in store. • Why is it. when you're looking For an Exp. March CORRECTIONS

- PO 231 - Alistair Edgar PO 263 Judith Oakes Well the first WLUSU Student Run Course Percentage who would recommend course:84% Percentage who would recommend course: 72% Evaluation is out and in full circulation. Responses: 44/79 Responses: 48/68 As this was a "pilot project" there was Instructor: Out of 7 Instructor: Out of 7 Pound to Pe errors. At this time we 1 . Communicates goals clearly 5.0 1. Communicates goals clearly 4.7 would like to acknowledge two such 2. Appropriate methods of evaluation 5.2 2. Appropriate methods of evaluation 5.4 errors. The first appears on page three 3. Presents in an organized manner 5.4 3. Presents in an organized manner 4.7 of the puPlished supplement in the 4. Explains concepts clearly 5.7 4. Explains concepts clearly 4.4 Political Science section. Due to a 5. Communicates enthusiasm 5.4 5. Communicates enthusiasm 4.7 data entry error the statistics for Dr. 6. Attends to questions effectively 5.9 6. Attends to questions effectively 4.3 7. for personal consultation 5.6 Edgar's Po 231 class were duplicated 7. Available for personal consultation 6.0 Available 8. Ensures that work is graded 5.2 8. Ensures that work is graded fairly 5.1 and applied to Dr. Oakes's Po 263 fairly 9. Work graded in a reasonable time 5.1 9. Work graded in a reasonable time 5.6 class. Another error appears in William 10. Performs effectively as a teacher 5.7 10. Performs effectively as a teacher 4.9 Hockley's Psychology 318 evaluation. Course: Course: The percentage of students who would 1. Comparatively the work load is... 4.8 1. Comparatively the work load is... 4.1 recommend the course was registered 2. Comparatively the difficulty is... 4.7 2. Comparatively the difficulty is... 4.2 as 88% in a class in which 5 out of 5 3. Value of course reading... 4.7 3. Value of course reading... 4.8 (5/5) students responded. This, as we 4. Value of the learning experience 5.6 4. Value of the learning experience 4.9 know is an impossiPle conclusion. The information should read 8 out of 8 (8/8) students responded, thus validating PS 318 . William Hockley of that 88% the students would Percentage who would recommend course: 88% recommend the course. Responses: 8/8 On behalf of the Course Evaluation Instructor: Out of 7 Team and the Students Union I would 1. Communicates goals clearly 6.3 like to apologize for the errors in the 2. Appropriate methods of evaluation 6.1 published evaluation. We are still 3. Presents in an organized manner 6.1 strongly in support of the evaluation 4. Explains concepts clearly 6.6 program and plan to streamline and 5. Communicates enthusiasm 6.8 effectively 6.8 expand it to eventually cover all 6. Attends to questions 7. Available for personal consultation 6.9 courses offered at Laurier. As this 8. Ensures that work is graded fairly 6.5 project is a complex undertaking we at 9. Work graded in a reasonable time 6.8 WLUSU welcome all comments and 10. Performs effectively as a teacher 6.8 criticism. Thank you and good luck on Course: those mid-terms! 1. Comparatively the work load is... 4.8 2. Comparatively the difficulty is... 4.8 Scott McCormick 3. Value of course reading... 6.1 Vice-President University Affairs 4.Value of the learningexperience 6.0

• The Cord • Entertainment February 8, 1995 < 25 NEU SAPPY KITSCH The Valentine Editions

This one was so sappy, it almost made me puke...2nd place! Kick Da It's Smoove the Groove...

Dear Biggiggle and Pumpkin:

& Valentine's Day is not just for lovers /0 , trip . *It e NSKrn& Valentine Winner! Contest r Wa

We've survived the dark dungeon Despite Satan's best tries In the basement without sunlight We could only dream of sunrise

Even when we've been bitchy You have loved us still You hung "The Wall of Bitterness" At 3:ooam from our door sill. '<»>.

'">'£pz% ' // ££-»i°- a ltfl § c/7 sf/ ei/ §a/D ln Gr o ds , s q °se On Mondays when anything goes en c out Cm We listen to oldies like Elvis •.?* :• ;:y c* % And dance 'round the kitchen .is> 'A shaken' the pelvis.

Biggiggle you've crossed that line a'r a too by "C W One many times Oa^.a e Dirty jokes like "Pierre, Pierre" ""ei) *. Are the least of your crimes. NSK thanks everyone who Then there's you Pumpkin, participated in the singular The romantic at heart Your love letters so sweet NSK Valentine Contest. to ear, Music the like Mozart For his short short, yet So on this Valentine's Day bitter-sweet tale of childhood IMss SBStf M&s BBS IKl©WLltos] We are letting you know romance, Damien Martin jMma yc/u Gyi-jjrjy/y. What we think every day But we don't always show. wins the self-titled Joey Lawrence CD. My Kindred r'.appy Valentine's Day to the best roomi There are no secondary To dream of you Love always, prizes, save for the thrill of An eternal thirst Apple & L'il ole me To know the dizzying being published. NSK asks Scent of searing desire by Tara Haynes & Samantha Touchie you to make love this To feel your touch Valentine's Day, not war. I have become beguiled The taste of your skin An experience of pure femininity Day Ode to Valentine's To share your body I left my Valentine to smoke grass with a bunch of Is the revelation (grates people I just met It's February 14th and I'm flying Of sweet sanctuary high, so high, with no Valentine to drag me down. An erotic communion

by Izabel Waite To know your love Breathes God Advicea lover to Into my empty soul Liberating my emotions Love: just roll it up and smoke it Before it smokes you. by Mike McLachlan

by Izabel Waite

• 26 February 8, 1995 • The Cord NSK CLASSIFIEDS

LSAT-GMAT-GRE Training Programs-Since Foot Patrol Closed for Reading Week. HELP WANTED HOUSE FOR RENT-5 bedroom, 2 fully 1979 we have successfully prepared thou- Fri, Feb. 17-Sunday Feb. 26 equipped kitchens, laundry facilities, Parking sands of students for these tests. Programs (last day of Service Thurs. Feb. 16) SUMMER JOBS for 4, living rooms (up & downstairs) range from 6 weeks to one weekend. Start Applications are now being accepted for Very clean, close to WLU & U of W. now! Richardson- (416) 410-7737 or 1-800- Get Wilde on your bod! summer jobs on cruiseships, airlines and $1400/month. Call Shawn @ 886-1227. 567-7737. Vote Sean Wilde for WLUSU BOD. resorts. No experience necessary. For more information send $2 and a self-addressed 2 Roommates Wanted. Big House (5 rooms) This may sound familiar--Vote ROB ATHLETES!! stamped envelope to: May-may lease, close to WLU, $275+/month MANGER for BOD As a retired competitive gymnast I ask for World-Wide Travel Club Phil @ 885-2613 your help! If you have you ever used 5334 Yonge Street SUN, SAND & FUN!! Vacation in DAYTONA imagery/visualization in your sport PLEASE Suite 1407 Summer Sublet. 5 Room House, 3 wash- BEACH or the BAHAMAS this reading week come to the New Science Building and sign Toronto, Ontario rooms, laundry, parking, close to WLU (314 with Cherryhill Travel. Prices for accomoda- up to participate in my study! I am desperate M2N 6M2 Spruce)\sl 50/month tion and transportation start for as low as for volunteers! Look for Cynthia Jennison's Trevor A. 725-7591. $269. Call 1-800-337-1324 posting on the psychology research board or Responsible person needed 10-15 hours per call me @ 746-4203 to set up a 45 min ses- week to clean professional office. Reliable 3 and 2 rooms to rent Sept.-May. All utilities WANTED! Campus Representatives to pro- sion. You are very needed! clean freak preferred. $8/hr. close to univer- and laundry included. Newly renovated eat mote Spring Break vacations to BAHAMAS & sity. Call 885-1809 tetween 3pm and 8 pm in kitchen, spacious bedrooms. $325/month. DAYTONA BEACH. Earn CASH & FREE The Waterbuffalos would like to thank the Thursday, Felmiary 9, or Friday February 10 Within walking distance of WLU. Close to TRIPS. Call 1-800-337-1324for more info. coordinators of the Winter Carnival and lend 9am til noon. bus stop. Call Steve 886-0672. congratulations to the Sigma Chi and the I'm sure I've heard this before-Vote ROB Zoo. Thanks everybody, we had a blast!! Great second-year house for rent. 5 bed- MANGER for BOD. rooms, washer/dryer utilities included, 2 min- FOR SALE utes from WLU. For details call 884-6558. Word Processing Service. Reports, resumes, PERSONALS letters, mailing lists, fonn letters, etc., on recy- Six bedroom house on Erb St. Large rooms. cled paper. Laser printing, dictaphone, equa- Sal, NCR 1200 BAUD MODEM Laundry, ample parking. One year lease tion editing, optical scanning available. Hope you won't think I'm too forward -Will $20 CALL 886-2327! beginning May or Sept. $1400/month. Jo ann Audrey 884-7123 you be my Valentine? Our favourite place- 748-5955 or Greg 888-0258. The Bismarck Pub- has a great Valentine's Laurier Leather Jacket, Purple, with zipper. Daytona Beach is the place to be this Day special with romantic live music. Meet Have graduated, no job, must sell. Kevin 725- 6 bedroom house 4 rent. 29 Bricker Ave., this Spring Break. Make it happen for only $279- me there on Hearts Day at 6pm. Dinner's my 5120. place has it all. Call 886-6289. Won't last long. GOLIGER's Travel rated #1 in Customer treat. Dessert's yours. Satisfaction wants to send you on your first Love Daisy. Awesome Raleigh 21 speed Mountain bike. 8 LARGE SELECTION of student rentals ranging unforgettable trip of '95. Call Lucie at 1 800- months new. Was $240 now $119 99. Kevin from bachelors to 8 person units, reasonable 461-7214 Pat, 725-5120. rates, clean, laundry, parking utilities includ- I'll give you one ofthese! ed, for details call The Larry Estates 669-4646. WOULD YOU LIKE A PENPAL FROM Oxana Le Circuit 18 speed Racer. Like New, REAL ABROAD? for details and form, send name DEAL $49-99. Kevin 725-5120. STUDENT RESIDENCE 413 Hazel St. and address to: GLOBAL PENFRIENDS Brenda, Bachelor, 2, 4 & 6 bedroom units, furnished, PB. 14 Hovseter You've got an ass like an action movie! laundry, parking, on bus route, from $275 0705 Oslo Betty utilities included. Phone 669-4646 Norway PLACES TO RENT Jake, 6 bedroom house on Erb St. NUMUS Concerts presents "This that is beau- I just ate a whole bunch of those green Laundry, bedrooms, laundry facilities, ample tiful..." Contemporary (weird) classical music. Gobstoppers and I'm all yours!

HOUSE FOR RENF - 5 large bedrooms, fully parking. Lease May 95 to April 96. Fri. Feb. 10, 8 pm The Seagram Museum. Call Vic. Kitchen & Extra $1400/month. equipped Laundry, large liv- Greg 888-0258. 576-6211. DEARSCOTTY, ingroom. Parking for 5 cars, close to WLU Trust me, you won't be saying that your best $290.00 per month, per person 5 Bedroom House for rent, large bedrooms, ADVANTAGE CAREER PATH RESUMES AND Valentine's are spent alone. Available Sept. 1/95. Call with laundry. Two minute walk to WLU. WORD PROCESSING SERVICES. Resumes, 416-491-1370. May all our travels be filled with laughter Marshall St., lease May 95 to April 96 Cover letters, Mail-outs prepared by an expe- and love.

- - Letter APARTMENT FOR RENT 3 bedrooms $1350/month. Call Greg 888-0258 rienced Human Resources Consultant. Love I. Close to WLU, Parking, laundry facilities. and typing service available. All work picked $325.00 per person per month including utili- SEPTEMBER 1995-Furnished room available up and delivered within 24 hours 745-6437. ties. Available May 1/95. Sept. to April '96. $350/month utilities are Call 416-491-1270. included. Huge bedroom! Shared lower level GRAD FUND RAISING COMMITTEE MEET- kitchen, bathroom and sitting area. Private ING. Thurs. Feb. 2, 2:30 room 3-201. Five 1Tedroom house for rent entrance. 10 minute walk to WLU and on bus Marshall Street at King route. Close to all amenities. Call 885-1171. DAYTONA BEACH SPRING BREAK! 1 year lease May 95 ENERGY 108 & 103.5 will be leading the $1350/month OUR LANDLORD BRINGS US FREE BEER! party in DAYTONA this year! ROOM ONLY 888-0258 Looking for an eighth roommate in a terrific $139 or BUS AND HOTEL $299 FOR THE house, 2 kitchens, 2 bathrooms, 5 minutes WEEK, CANADIANSSS!! Call Breakaway Six bedroom house for rent from campus. $275/month utilities included- Tours at 725-9789 ALMOST SOLD OUT!! Erb Street Waterloo -746-8036. Available May 95 Enough already!! Vote ROB MANGER for $1400/month FOR RENT Spacious 5 bedroom house fur- BOD...pretty please!! 888-0258 nished, 2 fridges, washer/dryer. 5 minute walk to campus and groceries 80 IMAGINE SPRING BREAK IN DAYTONA VILLAGE ON THE GREEN TOWNHOUSE Dorset St. AND STAYING AT THE #1 HOTEL ON THE FOR RENT $280/month 746-3695 BEACH!! 5 Bedrooms, clean, close to WLU, tennis YOU CAN FOR ONLY $269- FOR MORE court, A/C, laundry facilities. Call Sue @ 885- INFO CALL LAURA AT 1 800 337-1324. Kelly Westlake for 5509 PUBLIC SERVICE WLUSU President 3&4&5&6&7 bedroom houses for rent at reasonable rates. All have laundry and parking, 1 year leases, walking distance to Vote ROB MANGER for 80D...1 love you all! STURT Universities, Contact James at 747-0683 or at work 884-9000 MY TYPIST! We do your typing right! Essays! Term Papers! Resumes! Laser Photocopying! i member of the internationally-recognized FURNISHED HOUSE FOR RENT Printing! Free Spell Checking! More! Call 579- \ssociation of Commonwealth Universities Six bedrooms, 2 kitchens, 2 bathrooms, living 2219! and laundry rooms, extra. Excellent condi- rTraining in tions. 10 min. walk for WLU. Available May RUN YOUR OWN BUSINESS. GAIN VALU- in one year. $1500 per month plus utilities. ABLE BUSINESS EXPERIENCE WHILE Call 746-7928 after 6pm. BUILDING YOUR RESUME. EARN UP TO $10, 000 (25 JOBS) HIGH DEMAND PROD- ans in obtaining your ministry-approved Teacher FURNISHED HOUSE FOR RENT UCT, IRRIGATION SALES AND INSTALLA- arles Sturt University's ideal campus settings Accomodation for five. Two bathrooms. TION. THE IDEAL OPPORTUNITY: VEHICLE Living , rec., and laundry rooms. Excellent REQUIRED. or July intake dates are available conditions 10 STUDENT AT 1-800-265- ebruary min walk from WLU. Available CALL SPRINKLERS 995 Tuition Fee: ($9OOO Cdn) September for one year. $ 1400 per month 7691 AsBooo plus utilities. Call 746-7928 after 6pm. urt Ancaster, Ont. L9K IHB call/fax:(9os) 648 7130 International Student Recruiting Services

• • ■CHARLESThe Cord • Classifieds February 8* 1995 27 We're Back H

20$ Wings Fri-Sat Till 10pm X Sun-Wed Open for Private Parties X Saturday: Dance until 3am New Hours f,W:"v: Is ; i:: Saturday: Pance'til 3am!! fl^lS

Campus Clubs: Call to Reserve Your Private Party 28 King St. N., Waterloo 725-5050 i mssmsssm-r.-1 it. ••