The Dean Hotel — This Is Providence

The sweat and vision of Providence people help to define the true meaning of a luxurious hotel

On April 3, 2014, a sunny but brisk Thursday in the early evening, a large, cheerful and impeccably dressed crowd stood in front of 122 Fountain Street in Providence, an address drenched in history of a somewhat sticky nature. No longer a place to walk past quickly with your head down if you found yourself alone after dark, the hungrily anticipated Dean Hotel had come to fruition and citizens gathered excitedly like new parents leaning over a crib to find out what color eyes their baby would have. With the exception of one gentleman who comically carried on a loud cell-phone conversation for the duration of the ceremony, the crowd craned to hear the opening remarks of the hotel’s founders, despite the wind’s best efforts to whisk the words away the moment they were uttered.

Clay Rockefeller, the investor who provided the means for the project to take life, talked of his love for his city and his family and humbly thanked all who had helped transform the space. Rockefeller, beloved founder of the Steelyard and the Monohasset Mill Project, is a longstanding fixture within the Providence arts community. He has worked passionately to transform and rehabilitate neglected patches of Providence and indeed, he gives the impression of nothing so much as a giant tenderly nursing his garden, opportunity and creation blooming up in his footprints wherever he treads. Ari Heckman, the Providence native and real estate developer behind the hotel’s transformation, spoke briefly of his acclaimed work in NYC, but mainly of his Providence roots. In describing the Dean project, he said he wanted to create a hotel “by Providence, of Providence, and for Providence.”

The doors finally opened for the grand opening party, and boy, was it grand. Guests were greeted by lush floral arrangements bowing under the weight of their petals, cordial employees proffering trays laden with glasses of complimentary champagne, and magnificently attired performance artists*. A great basin exploded with velvety clouds of impossibly red roses, set upon a sleek mahogany table that languidly stretched in front of the Bolt Coffee Company counter, where baristas worked furiously to produce glass after tantalizing glass of locally roasted espresso tempered artfully with honey and sea salt. Local DJ Andy Morris provided a beating undercurrent of ambiance while, tucked away in a convergent hallway, snake handler Bwana Iguana lent his six-foot Golden Python to be draped over the shoulders of willing guests for thrilling photographs. Servers walked among the crowd offering delectable hors d’oeuvres — no small feat considering the density of the crowd. The place was packed, and guests continued to arrive in droves, perhaps lured by the Hollywood-style spotlights that lit up the sky, perhaps drawn by the sound of the Extraordinary Rendition Band hammering out marching tunes against the sidewalk. Bronze and marble shone in the newly opened Faust Hofbrauhaus and the Magdalenae cocktail room breathed a rich sensuality, both of them new offerings from local genius Michael Sears. It was an incredibly luxurious affair.

In corporate marketing, the term “luxury” is inescapable. It is a tired, used and abused word that is bandied about so carelessly that it’s a wonder it has enough strength left to be typed. Go to any corporate chain hotel website and you’ll see these words flung about in the copy like applesauce around a toddler’s high chair: Luxury. Values. Atmosphere. Decadent. State-of-the-art. Perfect getaway. Leisure. Eco-friendly. Who are they selling to? Certainly not people who are accustomed to luxury. This is a market that capitalizes on the idea of luxury, reduces it to a sketch of the lowest common denominator, mass produces it for the cheapest production cost possible, wraps it in plastic, and dangles it like a treat in front of whatever poor human needs a place to stay for her business trip, his uncle’s funeral, her high school reunion. More appropriate copy would read: “Chipping away at the charm of your honeymoon, one particleboard slab at a time!” or “Indulge in a weekend escape from your usual debt-crippled, mundane life of indentured servitude and relax in one of our uniformly carpeted cubes for just two-thirds of your paycheck!” or “The grass can’t look greener from the other side when it all looks the same on the inside!” or “Oh, weary travelers, fear not. For though you may be far from home and out of your routine, at least your crappy hotel room will be exactly the same as the last time you stayed in one of our crappy hotel rooms. It’s your home away from home.”

As consumers, we’re used to paying for lies. We know it’s all crap, but crap is the norm. You want something special? Here’s some crap wrapped in tin foil. SHINY.

The Dean Hotel is the real deal. Impossibly beautiful, incredibly thoughtful, meticulously planned, the grand opening party hosted guests from every walk of life and not one person felt out of place. Faces beamed with pride and people who had never set foot in the building walked with surety, confidence and excitement. Why all this fuss, why all this joy, why all this excitement over a little hotel? Because it’s ours. The people who came to celebrate the opening found that they were the ones being celebrated. We have received a gift. The gift is in the transformation of a broken building. It’s in the choice to infuse the hotel with the work and art of the people of this city. The pictures on the walls, the end tables in the rooms, the hand-lettered signs in the hallways and giant steel letters outside, the frames under the beds, the snacks on the end tables. All these things came from the hands, the sweat and the vision of people you have a good chance of walking past on the sidewalk every day. It is by Providence. It is of Providence. It is for Providence. Here we know that smaller is better and here we know why local matters. There have been quite a few complimentary comparisons drawn between the Dean and Brooklyn boutique hotels. Don’t be fooled, the Dean is ours. The Dean is yours. The Dean is Providence.

*Disclaimer: The author was working as one of the “magnificently attired performance artists” through Kristen Minsky’s Chifferobe Events and her perspective is drawn from viewing the event as a fixture of it. Know Your Mom and Pop: Record Store Day Edition

They may be out-dated technology, but records are not ancient artifacts

Record shopping used to be a favorite pasttime of mine. I loved searching stores to discover a band I would love for years to come, picking out albums based on the feeling I got from looking at the cover, song titles and record label. Adult responsibilities have made this hobby much less feasible, but I still get excited to look through record stores when I have a few extra bucks in my pocket.

Record Store Day, taking place on Saturday, April 19, started in 2007 with the hope of promoting the record collecting culture and giving a boost to more than 1,000 independent record stores. It has since taken off and become quite the phenomenon. The third Saturday of April has become almost a holiday for music lovers. Fans eagerly await the list of collectible records being released specifically for Record Store Day. Stores have limited copies and people line up hours before stores open their doors hoping to get at least a few items on their list. There are usually giveaways, contests and live music to help celebrate this special day. Most importantly, it gives a sense of community, as this holiday targets a unique audience: music lovers. Everyone is there for the same purpose and everyone understands each other’s obsession.

Rhode Island is the smallest state, but the music scene is impressive. This state is chock full of great music stores all over the state that can help cure the record buying fix. I was able to speak with a few of them to discuss the art of running a small business as well as getting a glimpse into their Record Store Day plans. I asked each owner the same questions: 1. How long has your store been open? 2. What made you decide to open a record store? 3. What are some of the rewards and challenges? 4. What makes your store special? 5. How can record stores remain relevant in this day and age? 6. What are your thoughts on Record Store Day? 7. What are your plans for Record Store Day?

Armageddon Shop is located at 436 Broadway Providence. Hours of operation are Monday – Saturday 12 – 8pm and Sunday 12 – 6pm. You can call Armageddon Shop at 401-521-6667 or check them out online at armageddonshop.com.

1. We opened in 2001, so we hit 13 years in business this past January.

2. The idea to open Armageddon Shop was conceived in spring of 1999 by Ben and Anne. Providence had no truly independent shop left dedicated to underground music, especially one focusing on vinyl. While working and saving money, we were also scouring flea markets, yard sales and other shops for records, tapes, CDs and anything else we thought would be good to have in the shop. A space was located and leased in September 2000, and work began. The space was cleaned, painted and improved. All the fixtures were built by us, except the magazine racks, which we acquired from a closed bookstore. Inventory was moved in in December and it was cleaned, organized, priced and stocked. Ben and Laura (Load Records), Lars, Damien and the two of us spent many nights and more than a few beers and pots of coffee getting things together (Thanks, you maniacs!). A pre-opening party on January 12, 2001 was a great time — friends from NY, NJ, MA and RI came down to hang out, eat, drink and fight to the death for rare LPs. The doors opened the next day, January 13, 2001. We haven’t looked back since. In July 2005, Chris Andries stepped in as a new partner in the shop as Anne left to travel and move on in life. The shop has continued to grow, and we’re hoping to keep it growing and improving as much as possible. Our goal is to be the best record shop possible within our means, with our own touch. The idea was to create a shop that we as music hounds and record collectors would enjoy shopping in. We have a very serious focus on vinyl. We like records and we run a record shop, unlike other shops that have “Records” as part of their name and yet have none. We also stock CDs, cassettes, videos, magazines (both current and back issues), t-shirts and a few books.

3. The best days are when you turn people onto new sounds they haven’t heard, when someone finds something they’ve been hunting for forever, when people meet and start talking in the shop, and when folks let us know that our being here means something to them. Challenges are just the basic daily issues of running a small business.

4. We care a lot about what we do, and we strive to constantly improve the shop and take care of our customers.

5. Dedication and love of the music, art and community they are a part of.

6. Record Store Day has its pros and cons. On the good side, it gets people to come in a check out the shop who otherwise might not.

7. We will put out a ton of newly priced used records, like we do every year, plus stocking the Record Store Day titles we feel made the cut. We will also be giving our Record Store Day customers free releases donated by local bands and labels like we did last year.

In Your Ear is located at 462 Main St in Warren. It is open Monday – Saturday from 11am – 6pm and Sunday 10am – 3pm. You can call In Your Ear at 401-245-9840 or check them out online at iye.com. 1. Except for a hiatus between moves in the early ’00s (from College Hill in Providence to Main Street in Warren), In Your Ear has been in business in RI since 1985 (29 years).

2. We had been selling records on various campuses, visited Brown University and decided that Providence was a great location.

3. The reward is the same that it was when we started — being able to turn people on to music that they might not have heard before. Now that we’re located in Warren, the primary challenge is getting people to drive from Providence to shop with us!

4. We have a huge collection of new, used and rare music. Currently, we are expanding our vinyl selection every week. If we don’t already carry a particular title on vinyl or CD, we will do our best to find it for you. We haven’t changed our focus over the last three decades; we are exclusively dedicated to music and music fans.

5. We stay relevant by providing the human touch and by being an oasis for the hungry, inquisitive music fan. And as music buyers are trending back to owning a physical representation of music, not just an mp3, we are becoming more relevant every day!

6. Record Store Day is a great celebration that provides us with an opportunity to give a little bit back to our customers, with exclusive releases and giveaways. It’s a great day to hang out with your friends.

7. In addition to stocking limited edition Record Store Day releases, we’ll have a storewide sale on CDs and LPs. We’ll also feature several local DJs who will present music from a wide spectrum of artists and genres. DJs Will I. Is and Kellan both have an open-minded approach to spinning: their only requirement that a song must have to be played is that it’s GOOD.

Looney Tunes is located at 562 Kingstown Rd in Wakefield. It is open Monday – Saturday 10am – 6pm and Sunday 10am – 5pm. You can call Looney Tunes at 401-782-9860 or check them out online at facebook.com/looneytunes.

Looney Tunes has been open in Wakefield since the mid 1970s; I have owned and run it for 22 years. I was the store’s best customer, and looking for a career change when it went up for sale. I spent much of my early youth exploring and hanging out in record stores, so it seemed right. Turning people on to music is a great reward. The CD business is the greatest challenge; the invention of the iPod ruined CD sales, along with free downloading, a bad economy and a lack of interest from the buying public. The record companies all but abandoned the retail stores, and continue to hinder our growth, or existence, by raising prices on new vinyl because it is currently popular and deleting CD titles from the catalog so that we cannot return product to them. Looney Tunes is special because our staff is very knowledgeable about various forms of music, and our stock remains very deep! In the last few years, we have increased our vinyl selection very much, which keeps us relevant, as records are more popular than ever, certainly more than CDs. Record Store Day is a wonderful thing! It has shined the light on independent record retailing, away from the big box and corporate stores. It has created an interest in reissuing crucial tunes by classic artists on vinyl, as well as new releases by current artists. We always stock many of the limited edition titles on vinyl, and have a big sale on CDs, which this year will be 25% off all titles, new and used! Hopefully, some new customers will come in this Saturday and check us out for the first time, and our loyal fans will continue to shop here for their favorite music!

Olympic Records is located at 580 Wickenden St in Providence. Hours of operation are Monday – Saturday 10am – 7pm and Sunday 10am – 1pm. You can call Olympic Records at 401-301-9266 or check them out online at olympicvinyl.tumblr.com/.

1. Olympic Records opened in July of 2011, which will make three years this July.

2. Olympic Records was born out of a love for records and music and an out-of-control personal record collection. My wife Erika and I decided to go for it and open a store. Providence’s East Side hadn’t had a record store that carried new music since Tom’s Tracks closed in early 2008 and that was a hole that I hoped we could fill. As luck would have it, I drove by the Wickenden Street location and within a month signed a lease. It really came together super quickly. A handful of friends and I turned what was a former personal trainer type gym into a record store in a month and a half and the store has been open seven days a week ever since.

3. Customer service has always been a high priority and I really enjoy hunting down things or special ordering records customers have been looking for. New or used, I try to bring in the best quality records that I can find. You won’t find any dollar bins full of scratched up classics or mint condition filler; I try to curate what I put out on the floor leaning more toward the oddball and off-the-beaten-path stuff within any one genre of music. I only sell vinyl (LPs and 45s) and a small amount of local cassettes. All used vinyl is inspected, machine cleaned and bagged before hitting the bins. The focus of Olympic Record’s new vinyl is on indie rock, local music, and anything else interesting that I come across or customers recommend to me. I hope to create a clean, comfortable environment for people and their friends to shop and hang out in. I have two pinball machines and chairs and books for people who might not have a record player yet or can’t browse as long as their friends.

4. Remaining relevant is always a challenge. Record labels including digital downloads with new vinyl was a huge step to get people to stop stealing music and start collecting again.

5. Record Store Day has helped to bring vinyl a bit more into the mainstream, and it does a great job in getting people excited to go record shopping.

6. For Record Store Day 2014, in addition to the highlights from all our favorite artists and labels off the Record Store Day list, we will run a big sale and have tons of goodies for everyone while supplies last.

7. The shop is seconds from I-95 with ample parking out front, easy on easy off. Buy / Sell / Trade / Want Lists Accepted. Cats, Dogs, kids and ?’s are OK by me. Record Store Day is every day.

What Cheer Records + Vintage is located at 180 Angel St in Providence. They are open Monday – Thursday 11am – 7pm, Friday – Saturday from 11am – 8pm and Sunday from 12 – 5pm. You can call What Cheer Records + Vintage at 401-861-4244 or check them out online at whatcheerprovience.com.

1 + 2. First of all, a formality: our store name is now officially What Cheer Records + Vintage. We started our business in 1998 as What Cheer Antiques, but have become more and more of a record shop over the years, especially after relocating our shop to Thayer Street two years ago. My wife Jennifer and I grew up in the ’70s and ’80s when vinyl was how people listened to music, and it stuck with us. Neither of us really made the switch to CDs and have never stopped collecting and listening to vinyl records, so buying and selling them naturally became part of our business. About 10 years ago we also started organizing and promoting events, which we call the Providence Rock And Roll Yard Sale. We get together large numbers of DIY local vendors who sell vinyl records, DIY handmade and vintage goods. The next Providence Rock + Roll Yard Sale is part of a big Cinco de Mayo Block Party in downtown Providence on May 3rd on Westminster St. The rain date is May 4th.

3. For Jennifer and me, there’s nothing cooler than running a record store, constantly discovering and listening to music, and doing our best to turn other people on to things we think are great. I’m also a musician — I sing and play guitar in a band called the ‘Mericans — and music has always been a huge part of my life.

4. Like many small businesses, it’s hardly a way to get rich, but we get by and are doing something we both like very much. The biggest challenge is to stay relevant, and also to have as many irons in the fire as possible. Besides our store and events, we also sell records and vintage stuff online. This helps us when one or the other part of our business is slow. People have always been into records, but like all things, trends come and go, so being able to anticipate changes has also helped us stay in business for 16 years now.

5. What Cheer is unique in that we sell more than just records. We have a large inventory of vintage clothing, ephemera, books, antiques, art and more. But what also makes us unique as a record shop is that we focus only on vinyl (we do carry some used CDs and tapes, but vinyl is our focus). We’re also the only record shop on Thayer Street these days, which is a huge change from years past, when there were as many as five record shops on the street.

6. Record Store Day has become incredibly popular, and we love it. We’ve participated from its beginnings in 2008 and it’s become one of our best days of business. Every year we celebrate Record Store Day by having a sale, and we also carry many of the special limited edition record store day releases. We also try to have live music at What Cheer on Record Store Day and this year we’re having five different acts play live in-store : Arc Iris (Providence / former Low Anthem), the Brother Kite (Providence), Cotton Candy (Boston / featuring Mark Robinson of Teenbeat Records + the band Unrest), plus solo performances by Joey Sweeney and Heyward Howkins of Philadelphia.

7. Last year we had one of my favorite bands of all-time play live in-store on RSD — the Feelies. They were in town for a show at The Met, and somehow we talked them into stopping by to perform for us — this was incredible. We’ve also hosted several local acts to celebrate their new album releases, including Death Vessel and Allysen Callery, and we’re working on a date to have Roz Razkin And the Rice Cakes play later on this spring.

Other stores participating in Record Store Day:

Armageddon Shop, 436 Broadway, Providence

Blast From the Past, 1287 Main St., West Warwick

Kangaroo CDs & Tapes, 1759 Mineral Spring Ave., North Providence

Music Box, 160 Thames St., Newport

Newbury Comics, Providence Place Mall

Newbury Comics, The Silks will be performing at 3pm, 1500 Bald Hill Rd., Warwick

The Time Capsule, 537 Pontiac Ave., Cranston Record Store Day takes place all over the country on Saturday, April 19, 2014. Times and locations vary. Please check out www.recordstoreday.com for more information. For a list of releases exclusively being released on Record Store Day, go here: recordstoreday.com/SpecialReleases.

Are URI’s Hiring and Rentention Practices Fair?

An unresponsive university president doesn’t look good

For more than a decade, the University of Rhode Island had a national reputation as one of the most unfriendly campuses for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students. Those students didn’t need The Princeton Review to tell them how hostile the environment had become; they had been living it as the targets of graffiti and homophobic slurs for years.

“There were a lot of people who were very cautious and not out as gay people,’’ said Andrew Winters, an openly gay man, who was hired by URI in 1995, initially to work in residence education, having spent most of his career as an advocate around diversity issues. Winters later established a center for GLBT students on the first floor of Adams Residence Hall, but the climate for gays and minorities had gotten so bad that in 2009, the U.S. Justice Department was called to take a look. It was this environment that greeted David Dooley when he took over as URI’s 11th president in April of 2010. Dooley said one of his Transformational Goals was to have a campus that values and embraces equity and diversity.

Within a year, Winters found himself out of a job. Dooley, in his only public comment told a reporter, “Andrew Winters retired. But he was not forced to retire.’’ Winters and others we’ve interviewed tell a much different story, painting the picture of an administration that wasn’t addressing the concerns of the gay community on campus and grew tired of Winters’ leading the charge for reforms. In June 2011, Winters signed a nine-page separation agreement that included both a payout and a gag order.

In a wide-ranging interview, Winters told us he signed it because he feared being fired and walking away with nothing. He didn’t have a contract or union protection. He is speaking publicly for the first time to The Hummel Report because he has tried unsuccessfully to get the Rhode Island Board of Governors to hear details of what he calls a coerced agreement, signed under duress.

Four months after Dooley arrived as president, a group including Winters and his assistant, Joe Santiago, met at the president’s house to outline their concerns. Winters said nothing changed after the meeting and during fall 2010 he helped a group of students stage what became an 8-day sit-in at the campus library, which was covered by statewide media.

“I know President Dooley was very unhappy with the fact that the university was receiving what he considered to be attention that was negative to the university,’’ Winters said.

Within months the university hired a woman named Kathryn Friedman as a consultant with the title interim vice president for community, equity and diversity. She reported directly to the president. By then a whisper campaign had begun about what was commonly known as “Andrew’s issues.” The implication was the students didn’t have the same concerns Winters expressed both publicly and privately. Students we talked to who were there at the time said just the opposite.

At first, Winters said, Friedman — who was gay herself — befriended him. “She said, ‘The president and the provost here are trying to keep you out of meetings.’ Frankly she said they were going to come after me,’’ he said. “But she said, ‘Don’t you worry; I’ve got your back.’’’

Friedman wasted no time honing in on Winters. Two months after her arrival, Friedman sent Winters a blistering letter of reprimand saying she met with many people inside and outside the GLBT community and everyone expressed no confidence in him. She said Winters was difficult to work with, divisive and defensive, but offered no supporting evidence.

In fact, Winters received numerous letters of thanks and congratulations for his work on campus, organizing yearly symposiums. He was also recognized by the URI Foundation.

We emailed President Dooley directly asking for an interview and a response to Winters’ claims. Dooley never responded to us, referring our email to a spokeswoman for the university. She told us Dooley would not do an interview, calling this a personnel issue.

Winters’ agreement with the university and its board of governors gave him a $125,000 payment, including $21,000 to help offset healthcare costs for him and his husband who was in his health plan and nearly $27,000 for unused vacation and sick time.

Winters readily acknowledges the agreement provides no avenue for appeal. But he wants the Board of Governors for Higher Education, which ultimately oversees URI, to know he signed under duress and to entertain reconsideration. He sent a detailed letter to Ray DiPasquale, commissioner for higher education at the time. That was two years ago.

Dooley has refused to speak with anyone who has approached him about this case, including lawmakers. So last month, Representatives Spencer Dickinson and Frank Ferri filed legislation that would form a special commission to investigate issues of fairness in hiring and retention at URI.

Hummel: What do you say to the person who says this is just a disgruntled guy who wants to get back at his employer?’ Winters: I think that’s a standard way to disqualify anybody who’s speaking out against a problem that needs to be addressed.

The Hummel Report is a 501 3C non-profit organization that relies, in part, on your donations. If you have a story idea or want make a donation go to www.hummelreport.org, where you can also see the video version of this story titled “Squeeze Play.” You can also e-mail Jim directly at [email protected].

125 Years of German American Rhode Islanders

Rhode Island; a melting pot

Global culture continues to homogenize, and American cultural elements have spread throughout the world. When everyone can watch Breaking Bad at the same time on their computers (or, unfortunately, Two and Half Men), it’s odd to recall a time when the expanse of an ocean was a barrier between ways of life, rather than a half-day plane ride.

Cultural and social societies have played a crucial role in America’s melting pot, when immigrants left everything that represented their culture and heritage behind to come here and forge new lives.

The German American Cultural Society (GACS) is its own variety of melting pot – a conglomeration of German cultural societies, performance groups, music groups and halls that have come together over the last century. These different components each have their own histories, but the core group will be celebrating its 125th anniversary this April, inspiring a Founders Fest celebration on the 27th.

It’s also the 15th anniversary of a merger that brought longstanding German clubs from Providence and Pawtucket together to form the current organization, which has about 250 members. We spoke with Konrad Schultz and Milton Haupt – past leaders of the Providence and Pawtucket clubs, respectively, and keepers of the historic Society lore. Both joined the clubs after arriving in the U.S. in the 1950s, when a wave of German immigration made for plentiful first-generation members who relied on the clubs for more than social interaction – sports, health insurance and job referrals were often supplied by cultural societies in that era. The German Dramatic Society of Olneyville and the Eintracht Singing Society of Pawtucket were the primary organizations that merged – the Dramatic Society had its origins in presentations of German-language theater, while the Eintracht Society included the Schubert Men’s Choir (founded in 1931) and the Lorelei Women’s Choir (founded in the ’70s), which now have become the Schubert-Lorelei Choir.

You can visit the GACS on any given Friday at their Ratskeller at 78 Carter Ave. Target the third Friday of the month, when they celebrate Trachtenabend – basically, dress-up night. You’re likely to see a lot more lederhosen and authentic old-school German fashion that night, but the Ratskeller is open every Friday. We dropped by on a recent, non-Trachtenabend Friday, and still saw some Lederhosen and Tyrolian hats. We also had several varieties of Wurst, some that are hard to find in the U.S., some German beer hand-picked by Amy Johanna Ahlberg, who focuses on quality and brew variations that are both typical of their regions and difficult to find in the U.S. Her favorite? Altbier, a staple of the Dusseldorf region. We also saw an eclectic human mix – from folks in their 20s to folks in their 80s, and from native German speakers to food and beer fans with no German heritage at all. Darts, pool and a boardgame involving world conquest and the building of train lines were taking place in various parts of the underground bar. German and English were spoken in equal measures, while Dave Palmer, the in- house accordionist accompanied a wide variety of drinking song requests. The atmosphere overall was very welcoming. In a bar, the bartender wants you to feel welcome. In a club, at least half the people there want you to feel welcome – and welcoming they certainly were!

One odd detail of Motif’s Friday visit – the upstairs performance hall was full of people in Lederhosen dancing to Zydeco music. “The upstairs hall is rented out for a lot of performances,” says Lynn Rivard, president of the Schubert-Lorelei Choir. “It’s the oldest wooden floor performance venue in RI – that all- wood floor gives it a special acoustic quality,” adds Ahlberg. The large hall was originally built for gymnastics – the workout of choice for Germans through the 1950s and ’60s. The pommel horses and parallel bars are long gone now, although above the drop ceiling are attachments for the rings and climbing ropes, according to Rivard.

At the Founders Fest, that hall will be filled with the German musical stylings of both the choir and the folk dancing group. This celebratory evening will include hors d’oeuvres and lots of German ambiance and beer. It will also feature performances by Gigi Mitchell Velasco and Noel Velasco, one of Rhode Island’s three tenors.

Pin-up of the Month: Melinda Bottesini

Do you have a nickname? Mindy What do you never leave home without? A positive attitude, sunglasses and my Narragansett Beer opener What’s your favorite movie? Super Troopers What’s your favorite Providence spot to spend a spring day? India Point Park followed by a walk over to Hot Club for drinks on the deck Kiss me, I’m … An Italian, Narragansett Beer pinup girl! What’s your favorite Providence music venue? The Spot Underground. The venue has chill music and a fun scene. Do you have a guilty pleasure band? Phish Tell us a secret about you! I grew up in Massachusetts, but I’ve been calling myself a Rhode Islander for years. I never want to move!

A Chorus of Christmas Carols Bruce Church, Attleboro Community Theater

Nominal Christians (or “Chreasters” as some like to call them) are often derided for the practice of showing up to church once or twice a year at the Big Masses and calling it good for another trip around the sun. Likewise, even the most reluctant of theatergoers who pay lip service to the dramatic arts, but consider seeing Phantom at PPAC the equivalent of supporting local theater, raise an eyebrow from those who are regular attendees at the dozens of offerings available across the state all year. The common response from pastors and artistic directors alike is usually, “Hey, as long as they show up at all, we’re glad to have them.” Keeping Christmas in your heart year round is surely a Christian ideal and for many, a trip to see a production of A Christmas Carol fulfills a need both secular and parochial and becomes, like Midnight Mass, a family tradition that is annually anticipated.

If there’s a War on Christmas at the governmental level, then no one told the majority of Rhode Island theaters. The plethora of Christmas Carols (and Christmas-related productions) onstage in December is mind-boggling, yet almost predictable. In such a Catholic state, it’s a no-brainer to offer some holiday theater fare amidst the Nutcrackers and Coppelias and there are plenty of non-holiday offerings abound, but Rhode Island’s often absurd number of stages always has enough Dickens on display to keep the family in good cheer for years to come. So, why A Christmas Carol? Several plays exist that have similar themes and settings and offer, if not a new, than at least a fresher take than a story written before the Civil War. But even if we take the kids to see Ocean State Theatre do Miracle on 34th Street, The Musical it feels like a pleasant one-off, a diversion from a lineage. Hearing Paul’s letter to the Corinthians read aloud at a wedding is a cliché, but it is considered part of a longstanding tradition, not uninspired repetition. There may be cleverer, more ethereal and certainly funnier Christmas plays out there, but they always feel like side dishes to Dickens’ always satisfying main course. Ed Benjamin II, Granite Theatre

One of the reasons for Carol’s enduring popularity is that, whether we know it or not, our conception of Christmas in the modern Western world has been largely shaped by Dickens’ careful blend of spiritualism, social commentary and longstanding Old Christmas traditions that had largely fallen by the wayside when A Christmas Carol was first published in 1843. The novella was adapted for the stage by the end of the 19th Century (Seymour Hicks’ 1901 one-man version being the early prototype for many to follow) and countless iterations continue to this day. Look at the production history of any theater, anywhere, and you’re likely to find a past, present (or future) production of A Christmas Carol and/or one of its offshoots. Is it strictly the fact that, like Shakespeare, this public domain material can be adapted and staged at will without concern for royalties? Could such a crass commercial notion be behind the constant staging of a story that cries out against such blatant financial preoccupation?

Joe Wallace, RI Shakespeare Company

Not so, according to Tyler Dobrowsky, director of the current version running at Trinity Rep. Trinity’s original version has long since become the gold standard for A Christmas Carol in Rhode Island, and while Adrian Hall’s 30-plus year adaptation is still the framework for Trinity’s production, each director takes his or her own stab at reinterpreting the script while keeping the necessary elements intact. “It’s something we take very seriously,” he says. “This is a tradition for many families in Rhode Island and Massachusetts, to celebrate the holidays. It’s an important show for us every year.” Dobrowsky maintains that, far from seeing Carol as some sort of yearly cash cow for Trinity, the theater eagerly anticipates the influx of families and schools that make the show part of their lives. And, much like the “Chreasters” with church, Christmas Carol may be the first or only time that many folks ever see live theater. For some children, such as those who visit as part of Project Discovery, Christmas Carol may be a gateway for them to explore an art form to which their exposure is minimal at best. “This is a gift we give to the people of Rhode Island every year,” says Dobrowsky. More than simply a production, Trinity decorates the entire theater, arranges fundraising (Trinity has raised almost $250,000 for the RI Food Bank from Carol-related donations alone) and generally feels “responsible” for making their Christmas Carol an experience, not just a show. The yearly changes are not for the sake of tinkering, but to offer more to those who come year after year. With Fred Sullivan, Jr. taking on the role of Scrooge this year, it’s a fresh look for those who got used to Timothy Crowe in the lead. The Ghosts have been updated and new music and choreography added, so even though many folks have seen the show over the course of decades, there is always a new take backed by Trinity’s considerable ability to deliver high production value.

Yet even with Trinity leading the way, several other companies feel just as strongly about the seasonal as well as the artistic merit of staging a show that seems to be playing on every corner. JC Wallace, who heads the Rhode Island Shakespeare Theatre, is staging an ambitious version of Carol in conjunction with the Big Nazo Puppet Lab. The ghosts are all Nazo creations, while Wallace himself tackles Ebenezer as well as directing. Wallace was looking for a way out of the usual takes on Carol, and knew that the Courthouse Theater in Kingston would not allow him room for much in the way of Trinity-esque special effects. So, he approached Nazo with the idea of a collaboration and they jumped aboard to help create one of the most unique Carols running this year. His script aims for irreverence and humor while keeping true to the main themes. He describes Courthouse’s version as “meta-aware, with topical references and a set that looks more like a cartoon, modern.” Wallace is looking for a “community flavor, inviting the audience into the show” as opposed to a more traditional, fourth wall-style of presentation. Opening on December 5, Courthouse is pushing hard for a “must-see” event and an alternative, yet complementary version for South County audiences to what Providence has to offer, with carolers, shopping opportunities and Santa himself appearing on December 7.

Another longstanding adaptation is presented by the Artists’ Exchange, who go into their 10th year presenting Christmas Carol in Cranston. Opening December 12, this version, helmed by Clara Weishahn, aims to achieve an open journey where the considerable cast, led by Tom Chace as Scrooge, starts off as a modern family, telling the tale in a living room (much like Dickens himself would read his story aloud as family and friends gathered) and transform, scene by scene, into Victorian England. “This version is essentially the novel,” says Weishahn. “What got me excited was the idea of this story being told here and now, shared by children, aunts and uncles all in the same room.” Like Wallace, Weishahn wants her theater to play to its strengths, incorporating actors from the Gateways to Change program into the ensemble. Local Cranston residents and children are all part of the production, making this Carol for and by the community it serves. In the second weekend, they move from the 82 Rolfe Square location to the grandeur of The Park Theatre, utilizing large-scale backdrops and scenic elements not available to them in the smaller space at # 82. “We’re trying to invoke the mood and feeling of the emotional quality of Dickens’ world, and the visuals reflect how a child might imagine this story as they hear it,” says Weishahn. Chace also lends his considerable musical talents to the production, with live contemporary music mixed with period Victorian Christmas offerings.

And while theaters like David Jepson’s The Granite in Westerly (Nov 29 through Dec 22) and Encore Rep in Woonsocket (Dec 6 through 15) are staying close to their traditional productions, others have been busy making a tradition out of being more, well, untraditional. Frank O’Donnell’s A Christmas Carmella directly parodies Dickens while retaining the original’s spirit. “My goal three years ago was to create a fun holiday alternative to A Christmas Carol,” says O’Donnell. “All of the sudden, I’ve got a franchise on my hands with Ant’ny Claus. Trinity owns (Christmas Carol), if you ask me, but it seems like so many others do it as well, to the point that, for a while, A Christmas Carol was literally the only show in town.” This very Rhode Island version of the story is fast becoming an alternative for those who like a little fuggedabowdit with their spirituality, and O’Donnell opens Carmella at Theatre Works in Woonsocket December 6 through 15. Mark Anderson, who also serves at Theatre Works’ president and plays Carmella’s version of Scrooge, Scrungini, says, “The first two Ant’nys broke all sorts of box office records for us. If we get a threepeat that would be perfect!” Other amusing alternatives include a Murder Mystery version by Providence’s Murder on Us (A Deadly Christmas Carol), which has been running for more than 20 years.

Space precludes mentioning all of the versions of Carol running in and near the state, but all share the same message: we are responsible for other people, especially those less fortunate than ourselves. “The choices we make in life affect other people,” stresses Tyler Dobrowsky. And, for at least one time a year, A Christmas Carol and its offspring brings families and communities together to acknowledge and share that spirit. And, for the theatrical “Chreasters” that only see one show a year, the message of spiritual redemption and rebirth at a time when the season is about to change is a double shot of Christmas and Easter rolled up in one. A Christmas Carol is a familiar, yet constantly evolving tradition here in Rhode Island and for at least one time a year, we’re all season subscribers.

The Ultimate (Local) Holiday Gift Guide The Motif writing team is a talented bunch with various interests. We’re geeks, drinkers, movie lovers, parents, newlyweds, farmers, and lovers of music, art, theater, books and film. And with the holiday season around the corner, you need us.

We’ve tapped the interests of everyone on our writing staff and asked them to put together a gift guide that has a little something for everyone. Got someone on your holiday shopping list who’s impossible to buy for? You’ll probably recognize him here. So put down that tie and for the love of all that is holy, do not bake another fruit cake. Instead, take our advice and gift your loved ones with something they’ll use, something they’ll love, or an experience they’ll never forget. shopping local Don’t forget to look at our center spread in this issue, for a listing of artisans fairs and opportunities to buy gifts made locally. Art fairs, local craft stores like Craftopia and Craftland and local farmers markets are great places to pick up something for the die-hard Rhode Islander in your life, or for the visiting wannabe.

For the Person Who Has Everything

By: Greg Ferland This issue abounds with ideas to stimulate some outside-the-box thinking. That’s a great way to approach selecting a gift for Mr. Hasbuyseverything or Mrs. Cannoteverpleaseher. Think of the individual(s), and remember any unique characteristics they have, or something they’ve said about the past. Example: A couple that frequently dines at fine restaurants. Obviously, a nice restaurant gift certificate is appreciated. However, you recall how they said they miss Rocky Point – they went there for chowder and clam cakes when they were dating. Solution: Gift certificate to Iggy’s, an Iggy’s apron, and a copy of You Must Be This Tall, the nostalgic documentary about Rocky Point, to watch after dinner! You have now elevated your gift giving from generous to thoughtful and insightful, and given them an experience they will truly remember. For the Kid

By: Emily Olson Presents for kids often become headaches for the parents, so why not give that kid in your life something that everyone will enjoy? For a tiny music lover, a session with Rock a Baby RI is a perfect gift. Marc, Kate (The Sugar Honey Iced Tea) and Benny (The Mighty Good Boys) put on a weekly show (with puppets!) that’s fun for kids and grown-ups alike (rock-a-baby.net). Got a baby Buddha on your hands? Om Kids Yoga in the Hope Artiste Village offers classes for kids from baby to tween. And parents are forced to relax on a plush couch with a magazine while their kids gain confidence and self control in a beautiful studio (omkidsyogacenter.com). And if you just can’t resist something tangible to clutter the floor, check out the monsters created by RI’s Mad Knits (madknits.com). Not only are they cute, they cushion instead of stab tired parent feet in the middle of the night.

For the Teenager

By: Caitlin Ardito Teenage Boy Teenage boys are among the hardest on your list to buy for, particularly because they’re at an age where all they really want is to play video games, eat Taco Bell, and touch boobs. But these gift certificates are the next best thing. 1. BattlegroundZ is basically a real-life, first-person shooter game. Choose between airsoft and paintball in their creepily realistic indoor course. Don’t worry, Mom, BZ takes safety seriously. Armor is provided. 466 Washington St, Attleboro. battlegroundz.net. 2. PC or URI basketball game: The Dunk and the Ryan Center are as high-energy and exciting as the pros, minus the cost. And he’ll get to feel like a cool college kid. Just let him go alone with his friends. Tix at friars.com or theryancenter.com. 3. Yawgoo Valley: For whatever reason, younger dudes are obsessed with the concept of snowboarding and all of its perceived coolness. Chances are that, unless you’ve been going as a family for years, he’s terrible. Yawgoo is perfect for beginners and small enough to let him go alone with his friends without him catching on to the fact that you’re coddling him. (Hey, broken bones are expensive.) Rentals are available. 160 Yawgoo Valley Rd, Exeter. yawgoo.com. 4. Poco Loco: Because he deserves to know that there’s more to life than Taco Bell. Best tacos you can find in a safe neighborhood. 2005 Broad St, Cranston. pocolocotacos.com.

Teenage Girl

Teenage girls are even harder to buy for because, let’s face it, they’re hormonal, picky, and think both you and your tastes are lame (don’t feel bad, they’ll snap out of it in a few years). 1. Duck and Bunny: One of the few late-night spots that isn’t strictly a bar. She can indulge in cupcakes, crepes and virgin-drinks with her girlfriends all night (or until curfew). And the Alice in Wonderland- esque interior is Instagram worthy. 312 Wickenden St, Providence. theduckandbunny.com. 2. A fistful of cash and a ride to Westminster Street: A latte from Small Point Cafe, knits from Craftland, accessories and makeup from Queen of Hearts, shoes from Modern Love, or shades from Providence Optical topped off with sushi at Sura with the girls. What else can a teenage girl ask for? shopdowncity.com. 3. College Hoodie: Artsy? Nerdy? Athletic? RI has a university for every type. Even if she’s not planning to go to school there, she’ll feel mature and cool (and warm) repping college gear at high school (trust me).

For the Millennial By: James Lucey Need a gift for a hipster, college student or an angsty high schooler? Millennials are a tough group to buy for, and normally I would advise you to cut your losses and just give them money. But not this holiday, damn it. This year you will know what to get your narcissistic, tech-obsessed 20-something. When it gets cold out, Millennials want to stay warm and trendy. My prescription for a gift that will get constant use is a pom-pom beanie. These are supposed to be a little ugly, so when you see loud colors on sites like indcsn.com and karmaloop.com, you’re probably on the right track. Bonus points for profane slogans stitched across the front. Be that cool aunt.

Every Millennial lives on their phone, so you can’t go wrong with accessories. Veho Pebble Smartstick ( amazon.com, $19.99) is a backup battery that plugs into a variety of smartphone models, no bigger than a pack of Rolaids. And if you’re really looking to outdo yourself, get a Hoodiepillow (hoodiepillow.com, $24.95). It’s a pillow with a soft cotton hood, and unless you can find a little robot that dispenses lite beer and Adderall, you won’t get a more practical gift for a college student. for the beer lover: We’ve got a whole couple of columns on this one folks – check out our beer section. for the music lover: And check our music section for suggestions from Marc Clarkin and John Fuzek.

For the Theater Lover

By: Terry Shea It’s easy *not* to go to the theater. Unlike the movies, with multiple start times and endless advertisements to remind you that Morgan Freeman is appearing daily at numerous locations near you, theater can seem elusive unless you’re in the business. Unless, of course, you’re a season subscriber. A perfect gift for that friend or relative who just can’t seem to make it to a show, a season subscription to The Gamm, Trinity Rep, 2nd Story or CTC will ensure that they see (some of) the best of RI theater without missing a performance. A membership to The Players at Barker Playhouse, for instance, can run as low as $75, and allows flexibility in which shows you would like to attend. And subscribers tend to be privy to a host of special events, meet and greets, and other perks that the show-by-show audiences miss. A Trinity subscriber package can even include parking passes, which can be worth their weight in gold given the dearth of spaces Downcity. Less expensive, but no less entertaining, is Flex Pass membership to Pawtucket Community Players at $65. Every company has their own packages from simple to extravagant, but it only takes a few clicks on their respective websites to comparison shop by theater location. Maybe a particular season of shows will be the deciding factor. Either way, the gift of live theater is unique, gratifying and always worth the price.

For the Book Lover

By: Bobby Forand 1. Library Card: Sign someone up for the wonderous gifts that only the library can bring. Complete the paperwork online, print and present. Remind the recipient to bring ID when they check out their first book. catalog.oslri.net/selfreg.html. 2. Tour of Literary Places: For centuries, New England has made a great setting for stories, so why not give the gift of a road trip to see some places in person? This will require some research, but a few places to start are the Old Man of the Mountain (The Great Stone Face by Nathanial Hawthorne; also my favorite place in the world), Walden Pond (Walden by Henry David Thoreau) and The Halsey House on 140 Prospect St in Providence (inspiration for The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by HP Lovecraft). 3. Gift Card to Local Bookstore: Screw Barnes and Noble. Instead, support stores like All Booked Up, Books on the Square and Cellar Stories. There are plenty of locally owned bookstores to check out. 4. A Writing Course from Frequency: Writing sessions here are taught by local published authors. They offer courses on a variety of writing topics. frequencywriters.org. 5. Subscription to Trinity Rep: Watch this incredible theater company bring some literature to life on stage. Call 401-351-4242 for information. For the Aspiring Writer

By: Mary DeBerry The amateur/aspiring writer in your life needs plenty of encouragement. They also need and want resources, tips from experts and instructional articles on the technique and business of writing. Writer’s Digest is the best all-around publication for writers of all levels and types. Available in print and digital versions, you can opt to add electronic newsletters that go right to his or her inbox. Writer’s Digest is full of great information and runs regular contests for readers. To help you decide which subscription to surprise your loved one with, go to writersdigest.com, or visit any bookstore’s magazine section. Also incredibly valuable is the Writer’s Market. Formerly printed once a year and thicker than a phone book, it provides detailed information on where to send your writing when ready for publication, be it poem, novel or gardening article. For more about the Writer’s Market, go to writersmarket.com.

For the Art Lover

By: Angelo Marinosci, Jr. Buying original art as a gift is a serious matter, indeed. There are few things as permanent in a household or a collection as a piece of authentic original art. A painting, a drawing, photo or etching receives a lifetime of glancing and will get more attention than most other things in a home, office or any space that eyes are looking to be entertained and minds are looking to be juiced up. Gallery Nights are happening all over RI with the purpose of introducing and seducing locals into the studios and galleries of the RI art scene so they may make that quantum leap into buying local art. When you decide to buy someone close to you an original work of art, it’s a little like buying an exquisite selection of perfume that will enchant your nose for many lovely and loving sniffs. Buy what’s appropriate to the receiver, not yourself – even if it takes several rounds of investigative conversations or maybe a few visits to local studios/galleries. There is nothing more rewarding than a piece of visual art that will hold a special place in the gift-receiver’s heart and home for a long time. Let me encourage that leap into this wonderful segment of life. For the Urban Farmer

By: Chris Meringolo Urban farming is all the rage these days and holds the promise of sustainable food and a reconnection with our roots as an agrarian culture. There are a number of things you could give to get someone interested. Canning supplies are perfect for someone who has a large garden and would like to save food over the cold New England winters. Not into canning? Cluck! Urban Farm Supply over on Broadway in Providence offers all manner of classes on urban farm related topics, from bee keeping to macramé. You might also want to consider a gift certificate that can be used when the ground thaws. Speaking of that, CSA/farm shares are available locally and could keep the recipient swimming in vegetables or meat for months.

For the Dancer

By: Mark Morin

Stumped about what to get that dancer on your holiday gift list? Here are some suggestions that will have him/her pirouetting with joy. Clothing and footwear are a good option. But many dancers prefer specific brands and can be peculiar about what they wear during classes or rehearsals. Sizes, especially footwear, also have the tendency of varying wildly. So unless you know the preferred brand or exact size, consider a gift certificate. La Brie Dance in Smithfield and The Choice Connection in Bristol service many area dancers. For those online shoppers, Discount Dance Supply and Dancers Warehouse are both excellent resources. Another great gift idea is a gift certificate to a chiropractor or massage therapist, of which there are many! Check the phone book or, better yet, ask others. Most people have their favorite chiropractor or massage therapist. I would also check Groupon – it is usually good for one massage special a week. For the Yoga Enthusiast

By: Bruce Becker Yoga has become very popular – more than 20 million Americans practice. Your friends and family members are attending classes at more than 40 studios in RI seeking flexibility, stress relief, strength and inner balance. Help them on their journey with some great yoga gifts during this stressful holiday season. Yoga can be a sweaty practice. A yoga mat should be skid-proof when wet. Slipping out of a posture can lead to injuries and frustration. The best mats are made of pure rubber, a renewable resource. Think tires on wet roads. Jade Yoga or Manduka mats are durable and effective ($48 to $115). Yogis carry their mats. Mats hate to stay rolled and are nasty when wet. A carrying bag or backpack with a mat compartment would make a great gift. Daytripper by Manduka ($58) or Gaiam’s ($23.95) are canvas or nylon sheaths with shoulder straps. Aurora’s yoga backpack ($35 ), or YOPA, a large duffel that holds one or two mats, towels, a change of clothes and other essentials is another gift that would be appreciated. Hugger Mugger is a simple harness that just holds the mat ($12.95). Renew and disinfect the mat with natural oils, like Renew Mat from Manduka ($10). There are hundreds of varieties of chic yoga clothes available. Choose cotton. Synthetics bind the stinky toxins in sweat in spite of washing, and do not retain water. The yogini will soon be practicing in a lagoon of her or his own creation. Get some ideas at Yogaoutlet.com. Happy shopping and Namaste!

For the Newlyweds

By: Erin Botelho I’m a newlywed and if I see another appliance, I’m going to scream. So think outside the box for the newlyweds in your life this year with these gift ideas from local purveyors. 1. For foodies – A night’s stay and romantic dinner anytime of the year at one of the plethora of B&B’s dotting Newport – you can’t go wrong with the Bouchard Inn & Restaurant 505 Thames St., Newport. bouchardnewport.com. 2. Help with future disagreements – Teach them to handle their debates in a civilized manner with a class from RI Fencing Academy. 14 Almeida St., East Providence. rifac.com. 3. The way to each others’ hearts – French pastry making classes at The French Tarte in the Hope Artiste Village, 1005 Main St., Pawtucket. frenchtarte.com. 4. Wannabe seafarers – A double membership to Providence Community Boating Center 109 India St., Providence. communityboating.com and Narragansett Boat Club 2 River Rd., Providence. rownbc.org. 5. For the dancing machines – A beginner or intermediate class with Providence Tango. providencetango.com.

For the Tattoo Lover

By: Adam Schirling Rhode Island, despite its tiny size, certainly has its fair share of tattoo parlors dotting street corners and strip malls from Woonsocket to Wakefield. Body modification aficionados have their pick of shops to patronize for their newest piece of wearable art this upcoming holiday season. Anchor Steam’s beautiful location and knowledgeable staff make it my choice, but your ink-aficionado may have their own top choice. For the Film Lover

By: Nick Iandolo The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition Blu-Ray Set – If you’re a Lord of the Rings film fan, then you want this! Forget those nicely packaged (like classic old hardcover books) DVD versions of this epic. The transfer of this masterwork is as crisp as it gets, the sound is amazing, and the extras will take you months to get through!

By: Mike Ryan Also, remember local film – gift certificates to Acme Video (with its local films section – acmevideo.wordpress.com) or passes to local film festivals – like SENE (senefest.com – email them for their “all access pass”). It’s in April, but has local screenings throughout the year; or the Oscar-pre- qualifying RI International Film Festival (film-festival.org), in August, but with tix available now. For the cinephile who wants that “kick back on the couch” experience but still wants to go out, the Cable Car Cinema may do the trick. Also consider the indie-film favoring Avon in Providence and Jane Pickens in Newport.

For the Political Enthusiast

By: Jonathan Jacobs As a political operative and communications consultant, I need to keep my finger on the pulse of any and all national, local and hyper-local political media. The perfect gift for me would be a small, durable and user-friendly tablet. I will admit (much to my own dismay) that I am a convert to the religion that is Apple products, therefore, an iPad would be the most droolworthy of devices. But anything that can be used as a crossover vehicle between a notebook computer and an iPhone for information gathering, analyzing and communicating is a great gift idea for the politi-phile in your life.

For the Geek By: Rick LaPrade Geek is such a general term, so let’s do a quick breakdown so you can satisfy that special one in your life with targeted swag. For the Internet Geek: Let’s face it, cats govern the Internet, so you might as well pay homage to your furry digital masters with this rad Thundercats Sweatshirt (rageon.com/collections/lets- rage/products/thunder-cat-sweatshirt). Not the clothes wearing type? That’s cool, because every computer geek knows about the front page of the Internet, and probably wants a way to control it. Try this DIY Reddit controller on for size (thinkgeek.com/product/1647/?pfm=computing_newest_1647_7). For The Comic Geek: Nothing says “happy holidays” like a super hero nightlight and there aren’t many that are as super heroic as the mighty Avengers (trendhunter.com/trends/avengers-night-light)! Chances are that if they’re a comic geek they’ve read Watchmen. But just in case, it can’t hurt to have two copies of the greatest graphic novel of all time. For All The Geeks In Between: The geek is a fickle creature, and in their natural habitat it is sometimes best to leave the decision-making to them. Luckily for you, the Interweb is chock full of helpful sites. Here are my favorite geek sites: Hazarai – A social marketplace for everything geek, pop culture, and more. Hazarai is run by super- geeks FOR super-geeks. Kickstarter & Rockethub – The big two in crowdfunding offer a cool way to find a variety of awesome stuff. The sites let people crowdsource everything from comic books and movies, to gadgets and apps. There are new projects springing up every day and you never know what you’re gonna find. And many of the perks are outside the box – make a donation on a loved one’s behalf, and they could end up with signed CDs, or in the credits of a locally made indi film. Thinkgeek – Thinkgeek is a no-brainer for geek culture. It’s a hub for quirky clothes, knick-knacks and everything else.

For the Audiophile

By: Don DiMuccio If you’re reading Motif there’s a good chance that you or someone you know is an audiophile. These are the folks who buy their music on vinyl, insist on only tube-driven stereo equipment, and would sooner get an elective root canal before ever considering using the stock plastic earbuds that come with iPods! Appeasing these analog geeks can be a costly endeavor. But it doesn’t have to be, if you know what you’re looking for. Headphones: Despite the fact that today’s digital devices practically run our lives, they have a common drawback – poor sound. A good set of headphones can turn a lackluster listening experience into one of a pure joyful eargasm! Stay clear of the over-priced boutique models like the disappointing Beats By Dr Dre. (retail $299 to $399), which are more about marketing than sound, when for a fraction of the price you can get an industry standard like the GRADO SR60 ($70). DACS: It’s a sad fact that iPods, iPads, and the majority of smartphones have low-end internal DACS (that’s the component that converts digital audio from cold 0s and 1s into actual analog soundwaves). And as your audiophile pal will attest, a good external DAC (which can range from $20 to $20,000) will warm up those sound files and make your headphones sing! However, unless your name is Trump, you’ll want the best bang for your buck. FIIO makes some of the best audiophile-grade gear, like their Swiss Army Knife of DACs the E17 DAC/Headphone Amp combo ($139 on Amazon), which works great with PCs as well as your portable digital devices.

Gifts Under $20

By: Erica Deis Maybe you’re cheap. Maybe you’re broke. Maybe you’re cheap and broke, but don’t want to seem that way on Christmas. I’ve got some great ideas for you to stay under budget, but still give something that won’t get regifted to a hated aunt. 1. Socks – Once reviled as the sensible, bland mom gift, socks are incredibly popular this season. At Pie In the Sky on Thayer Street, Ann has socks from Bassett hounds in top hats to Andy Warhol Einstein. With a diverse range for men and women, and only about $10 a pair, socks don’t break the bank. And who wouldn’t love a pair of socks with tigers with eye patches? 2. Voodoo doll – Since lawyers are far more expensive than these $11 dolls selling at Mister Sister on Thayer Street, why not give that relative who just went through a painful divorce the “Ex Wife” voodoo doll? Pins are included, and if you end up setting it on fire, we won’t tell. 3. Lip balm – The Providence Perfume Store on Wickenden Street sells luxury $10 lip balm in yummy flavors that they make in the store. This time of year everyone needs it, and even better if you can forsake traditional cherry for something with “sugar” in the name. Huge win. 4. Skull bracelet from the Troll Shop on Main Street in East Greenwich – Okay, maybe this gift isn’t for Grandma, unless your grandma is bad ass and drives a Harley. Even the suburban chicks are getting into this trend stolen from punk rock, and the skull bracelet runs approximately $20. 5. Awesome coffee mug – I had breakfast at Percy’s Place in East Providence and was surprised by all the trinkets in their gift shop. After they gave me a loaf of cornbread (I thought I was special, but I guess everyone gets it), I saw the cutest mug for about $12 that would make a perfect gift for your caffeine addicted friends. It said, “Here’s to all the nights I can’t remember, with the friends I could never forget.”

And don’t forget the cardinal rule of gift giving: presentation. Even the smallest trinket is an exciting present if you throw some bling on it. If you can’t curl ribbon, find someone who can. for extra brownie points

Make your own

By: Mike Ryan

When I was 6, I made a tie for my dad, using some old (washed) diapers, staples, scissors and crayons. He wore it to work every day for a few months, making 6-year-old me ridiculously happy. Twenty years later, he admitted to switching it out for a real tie while driving to work. Fortunately for us both, no traffic accidents resulted, and I managed not to kill my father with his Christmas present. So, don’t do that. But, if you want to give a truly one-of-a-kind gift, nothing beats one actually made with love (and perhaps some blood, sweat and tears). Try one of the paint and wine evenings, and create a personalized artwork. At AS220 in Providence, you can get access and training in silk-screening (a custom T-shirt can be a joy for a good long time – for public wearing if it comes out well, for painting the house if it doesn’t). They also can set you loose on laser cutters, 3-D printers, poster-makers and other cool, hard-to-find gear. Who knows what you could make with that? Gift certs at AS220.org. One of my favorite personalizations was taking an “Easy Button” from Staples apart, and reprogramming it to say what I wanted it to. This takes some tools, some inexpensive parts, and a bit of work (why they would want to discourage people from reprogramming these things, I don’t know). You can find instructions online, however, which make it kinda easy. impulsedesign.com/easy_button.pdf.

For the Minimalist

What do you get for someone who doesn’t need more stuff – whether that’s because their current stuff exceeds their living space, or because they are trying to de-consumerize? An experience they’ll never forget, but might not have gotten for themselves. Consider the many arts, dancing, music and related classes and workshops offered throughout the state. Improv, for example, isn’t just a form of entertainment – it’s a life skill, where you can learn to roll with whatever life throws at you. Providence Improv Guild teaches regular classes (improvpig.com), and you can find many types of local acting classes through Trinity Rep (trinityrep.com) or at a number of other local theaters, like The Gamm, Mixed Magic Theater, 2nd Story Theatre or the CORE acting program. You don’t have to be an actor to act like one. For music, there are far too many tremendous teachers and coaches to list here – Google will get you lists, or, since this is RI and we’re all one-degree separated, ask your friends. There are some facilities as well – the School of Rock in Seekonk (seekonk.schoolofrock.com) holds classes in many forms of music, and for more off-the-beaten-path forms of music, like bongo drums or Bollywood dancing, there’s the Rhody Center for World Music and Dance (therhodycenter.org). The Blackstone River Theatre can show you how to fiddle, step dance or carve stone (riverfolk.org). The RI Philharmonic Orchestra Music School offers more traditional musical training (ri-philharmonic.org), as does More than Music in North Kingston (morethanmusicri.com), and, of course, many continuing ed programs can connect your giftee with musical experiences they’ll want to sing about. Similarly, consider dance studios, martial arts schools, rock-climbing gyms – you can find centers that will teach your minimalist valuable skills that take up no space, from SCUBA to pole-dancing, and from boxing to aerial gymnastics. And if more “adrenaline junkie” experiences are called for, skydiving, parasailing, skeet shooting, and hot air ballooning all have local options. You can even get the full racecar-driving experience if you’re going all out, with a service like the “Rusty Wallace Racing Experience.”

A Bump in the Road

RI Road rising above the rest– literally

From a distance, Route 3 looks like any other busy highway in Rhode Island as thousands of cars and trucks use it daily to make their way through the town of Coventry. But a closer look shows a raised asphalt divider between the turn lane onto Reservoir Road and the northbound travel lanes.

The 25-foot-long elevation of the road isn’t intentional.

“It’s been fixed at least a couple of times. And they don’t fix it right,” said John Assalone, who uses the stretch of road daily to get to his business just off Reservoir Road. He describes the buckled asphalt as a camel hump. “The asphalt keeps getting pushed up when it’s warm by the turning of the trucks and school buses.”

Hundreds of trucks turn onto Reservoir Road from Route 3 every day – some going to an asphalt plant, others loaded with logs going to and from a tree service business. And there also are school buses that go to and from Coventry High. Assalone says the Rhode Island Department of Transportation has tried unsuccessfully to fix the road several times.

Assalone: It’s the same people who put down the same asphalt every year, and all of the roads are screwed up.

Hummel: How quickly does it bubble up?

Assalone: Almost immediately. The first summer that it’s there. As soon as they fix it. If they fix it in the spring, by the summer it starts.

So Assalone launched a campaign to get it fixed correctly.

Assalone: I sent a scathing letter to the director asking him what kind of a department he runs that they don’t know how to fix something, with all of the engineers and all the money it has. In my opinion, there’s going to be a serious accident.

Hummel: What did you hear back?

Assalone: The first thing I heard was that if it’s overloaded trucks, it’s not their problem. Call the state police. Imagine that kind of an answer – if they know it’s from overloaded trucks, then I would think they would call the state police.

The Rhode Island Department of Transportation’s Deputy Chief Engineer Robert Smith called the intersection a perfect storm of conditions leading to the so-called camel hump. He acknowledges the problem needs some special attention. “Our maintenance division has done some repairs out there a couple of times, and we’ll try to plane off some of the shoved asphalt or make patches. But really, at this point it needs a wholesale dig out. We have to excavate out the asphalt and put down some new asphalt.”

Smith tells The Hummel Report help is on the way. A private contractor has been awarded a $66,420 contract to fix the problem. “We’re going to use a higher strength, polymer-added asphalt that might resist the shoving forces a little better than our general roadway asphalt.”

Assalone has another idea. “I believe what would solve that would be a concrete section at that particular area, with rough concrete, so the trucks aren’t sliding, the cars aren’t sliding and the asphalt is not sliding,” he said. “I don’t think this is high math. That’s what it used to be.”

But the D.O.T.’s Smith disputes that. “We don’t use concrete where there are a lot of utilities in the road, where it might be cut up frequently or where the road is narrow and you might need to move traffic around. Concrete takes time to cure. So we’d like to try this asphalt with a little more additive for strength instead of the last ditch effort, which is to go to concrete, which requires a lot more moving traffic around while you wait for concrete to set up.” Hummel: This is a state road that probably should be able to handle whatever you throw at it. Is that right?

Smith: That’s right. This is kind of a unique situation the way this intersection lays out. You can go down the same road at other intersections and you don’t see the same kind of rutting and shoving of pavement.

Smith says the work will be finished sometime this month.

Assalone says he’s glad the state is taking a fresh look at the problem and getting to it before the winter plowing season, but isn’t convinced this will be the right fix.

“If you keep doing the same thing with the same results, you’re nuts,” he said.

The Hummel Report is a 501 3C non-profit organization that relies, in part, on your donations. If you have a story idea or want make a donation to the Hummel Report, go to hummelreport.org. Or mail Jim directly at [email protected].

A Hip-Hop Revelation: The Church Of Providence Returns

Win some last minute tickets!

The Church of Providence is a sacred tradition in the city and is a staple for underground hip-hop heads, and on Halloween night, The Church returns. Hip-hop superhero B. Dolan and the guys from Strange Famous Records are re-launching The Church Of Love & Ruin tour as a monthly event at The Fete Ballroom.

The Church is a hip-hop powerhouse as it will be co-headlined by B.Dolan and Apathy, and will feature a cash prize rap battle hosted by living lyrical legend Sage Francis. DJ Nook, Boogie Boy Metal Mouth and a host of others will also be performing, making this the most stacked lineup the Church has ever seen. But The Church is so much more than just music. There’s wrestling happening all night long with Beyond Wrestling presenting a contest called Biff Busick VS The World taking place inside of a 16-foot wrestling ring. Fellow Wingman “Ladies Man” Gregory Edwards will also be in attendance watching his partner’s back.

If that wasn’t enough, Revival Brewing Company will be celebrating their second anniversary and will have a host of promotions and giveaways throughout the night. Big Nazo will be in the house as well, so expect the unexpected.

Tickets are only $10 and parking is free. If you love hip-hop, beer, wrestling, or just want to have a crazy good time, you have to check out the Halloween event.

Win some last minute tickets!

Ordinary Bill