t h e u n i v e r s i t y o f s u r r e y s t u d e n t s ’ m a g a z i n e bf publications

issue one 7xh.may 2004

inside 7 xh . : plus:

7xh. what do UniS really do with your money?

7xh. nus conference: the truth

7xh. puzzles for those empty post-exam days

7xh. colours ball winners

7xh. quantum physics for the perplexed

7xh. the ussu year in pictures

i n g l o r i o u s t e c h n i c o l o u r t h r o u g h o u t 7 page two xh . 7xh contents page twentyfour: page twentytwo: page twenty: page eighteen: page ten: page eight: page six: page four: C ontents AyearinthelifeofGU2Radio... What dotheUniversityactuallyuseourmoneyfor? The truthabouttheNUSConference2004. Do smartiesreallyhavetheanswer? Gigs, gigsandmoregigs... The musicteamarebackwithloadsofreviews. The Vadventureofthenaked pond. Something tofilltheemptypost-exam days! page sixteen: page fourteen: page thirteen: page twelve: page twentynine: page twentyeight: page twentyseven: page twentysix: The UniversityofSurrey Thoughts fromthePassion ofChrist. All thefunofworldfilm. QuantumPhysicsforthePerplexed... It’s thetimeofyearfor...It’s SummerBlockbusters! The USSUyear2003-4inpictures. The The glitzandglamourofColoursBall2004. Sun and snow? It’s theSkiClubEastertrip. Sunandsnow?It’s team surrey Students’ Magazine|May2004 reviewoftheyear. . xh

7 editorial page three eam

T Ben Berryman Jon Allen Andy Blair Hasan Akil Matt Fisher Jen Walker Carol Main Chris Ward Designed by Sarah Butterworth Proofread by Proofread Pete Nichols Pete Neil Boulton Neil Christie Sarah Taylor Tom Brinsley Tom Music Editors: Craig Martin Chris Hunter Pete Wigfield Pete Matt Badcock Corin Douieb Nathan Jones Louise O’Neill Melody Carter Photography by Jeremy Muscat Dom Fernando 7 Nathan Whittaker Sarah Butterworth Editors & Contributors: Editor: Assistant Editor: he xh he xh T

7xh

Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ is more than just an A4 is more than just first bf publications first bf publications

7xh ditorial

The University of Surrey Surrey of University The 7xh Editor Communications 2003-4 Vice President Over and out, for the final time... Sarah Butterworth results, have an enjoyable and safe summer, results, have an enjoyable and safe summer, and happy reading. Good luck to everyone for the dreaded exam coming years will stay involved, and good luck to everyone moving onto bigger and better things. well done to every single person who has been involved in any aspect of USSU Media this year; hopefully those of you around in the last publication to be produced by the current dedicated bf team. So a huge thank you and those in their final year. it has been a labour of love, and the As ever, Huge thanks go out to all the contributors, Huge thanks go out to all the over their who have all been slaving away particularly articles whilst revising for exams, USSU Media, and with the launch of the new USSU Media, and with the launch website, it’s been a challenge to get completed and on time, but it’s here at last. This short term has been a busy one for This short term has been a busy past year at USSU and old favourites such as past year at USSU and old favourites those stress-the Interactive page to wile away days. free post-exam sections of the paper and try something new. new. sections of the paper and try something more in depth In this magazine you will find over the articles and features, a look back shiny version of barefacts - it is a chance to shiny version of format and break away from the traditional on barefacts over the academic year, we’ve the academic year, on barefacts over is time for a change, and here decided that it is that change. Welcome to the Welcome produced in nigh on three magazine to be issues worth of hard graft years. After 21 E 7 page four xh .

actions tobetakenifthemotionispassed.Following within motions.“Conferenceresolves”thenholdsthe all underonesectionbecauseofwordlimitsonsections not for “Conferencefurtherbelieves”,andIbelieveit’s “Conference believespartthree”.Simple.Thesamegoes a right,notprivilege.’Thiswouldbereferredtoas motion aboutEducation,itmayhave:‘ things thatthemotionrelatesto.For instance,ona resolves”. In“Conferencebelieves”ithasalltheidealistic believes”, “Conferencefurtherand motion wasusuallymadeupthreeparts–“Conference Conferenceitselfiswhere‘motions’arediscussed.A fetishes, althoughslightlylessweird. anacquired interest–muchlikefoot but Ithinkit’s flaws, Ifounditanenjoyableandentertainingexperience, the Surreydelegatesthatattended.Despiteitsverymany ofarse’–so delicatelyputbymostof a complete‘bunch democratic, decision-makingprocessforNUS. Itisalso ‘constituent members’)toNUS. Itisthesole,highly Unions aroundthecountrythatareaffiliated(i.e. elected delegates,orrepresentatives,fromStudents’ NUSConferenceisessentiallytheannualmeetingfor information, orcheckoutnusonline.co.uk the website(ussu.co.uk)maybebestwaytogetmore call foramorethoroughexplanationthennewpageon to writemore,butthere’ssimplynotroom–ifa well sufficeasrectumcleansersatalaterdate.Ididwant if you’re notallthatbothered,Isuggestthesepagesmay in NUSandhowitworks,thenpleasereadon–however This articleis,unfortunately, justthat.Ifyou’re interested and trybeasinformativeaboutNUSpossible. semester IpledgedtoreportbackonNUSConference As partof nus conference T my manifestopriortotheelectionslast NUSConference2004 he truthaboutthe 3. Education is The UniversityofSurrey motions arealsoaddedin.Thesecomeintwoforms motion, andbecauseofwordlimits,Amendmentsto wording ofthem.Asnoteveryoneagreeswiththeinitial then bringsimilarmotionstogetherandagreeonthe (i.e. studentsatStudents’UnionsbelongingtoNUS) At compositing, representativesfromconstituentmembers funding. Theseallgotoaprocesscalled‘compositing’. Surrey couldsendinamotionabouthighereducation of NUSareinvitedtosendinmotions.So,forinstance, Conference isalongone.Firstly, allconstituentmembers Theprocessthatmotionsgothroughinordertoget MPs fees. regardingtop-up constituent memberswiththeminordertocontactlocal Education mustcompilealistofalltheMPs andprovide on fromtheexample,itmayread:‘ • • elected representatives,including: up ofdelegates(onConference floor)andvariousNUS Blackpool, attheWinterGardens. Conferenceismade Firstly, heldin abitofexplanationaboutConference.It’s the processinaction.Ohdear, whatadisaster. read whatthemotionsactuallyhaveinthem,andthen see sounds fineanddandy, andverydemocratic. Thenyou Unions acrossthecountrywithsimilarideas.Thatall 100 pageslong, fullofthingsputtogether byStudents’ thatisaround Sotheendresultisa“MotionsDocument” bet itis.Completearse?Ohyes. amendments willbeheardbeforeothers.Confusing? You Amendmentsarealsoprioritisedwithinmotions,sosome – eitherfororagainstit. Conference and get to speak on the motion or amendment names tothemotion,somearegiven‘SpeakersRights’at that sayswhattheywantittosay. first, theyallputtheirnametoamotion,oramendment, to saythesamething. At compositing, differentStudents’Unionsrealisetheywant happens isthis: later) havequiteabittodowithit.Sowhatessentially that sentthetextin,andSteeringCommittee(explained This isdecidedonbythenumberofconstituentmembers Education maybeheardfirst,followedbyWelfare etc. ‘NUS Reform’. Thesemotionsarealsoprioritised–so things like‘Education’, ‘Educationfunding’,‘Welfare’, and amendments arethengroupedintoheadings–usually Soatcompositingallthisgetsdecided.Themotionsand and deleteamendmentstextfromthemainmotion. amendments (waitforthis)addtexttothemainmotion, – ‘Add’ amendments,and‘delete’ amendments. ‘Add’

The part-time members ofthe‘Block12’ The fulltimeNationalExecutive Committee(NEC) Students’ Magazine|May2004 1. Students’UnionsendsintexttoNUS. 3. In ordertogettheirthingheard by NeilChristie 4. 1. TheVicePresident Of thosethatputtheir 2.

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7 nus conference page five of any substance is put down. agrees on in the first place. Does nothing speeches, this has been voted on to hear speeches, this has and then another vote the person speak, or not the procedural is called on whether passed, the whole motion should be been heard anyway. motion could have are then the The motions themselves of the motions are next problem. A lot rubbish about crammed with idealistic students should “Conference believes not pay for anything – ever”, and then in the the “Conference resolves” section – most important bit as it’s all about how to achieve the “Conference believes” – direct enough It’s ambiguous, or isn’t to make a difference. So the content of the motions was, in the vast majority of cases, utter crap. I guess it’s up to of Surrey students next year to be a part everyone of ‘you have to be there to appreciate it’, but I definitely got a kick out of speaking in front of so many people and slating the democratic process. there are plans for an ‘Emergency Conference’ Luckily that will be mainly built about NUS Reform and suggest ways of improving NUS democratically and hopefully saving itself some money (NUS is half a million squid in forward to that one, but my debt – nice one). Looking too high… hopes aren’t submitting text and rectify this problem. not many people Now the actual process. Essentially, of the motions disagreed with what was put in a lot the enough, all or amendments to motions. Funnily by the Steering controversial stuff was prioritised last allowed time (i.e. guillotine the of because and Committee, were never heard. on each motion) the last amendments ‘for’This therefore meant a lot of speeches motions were heard, but none ‘against’ were taken. Now the best bit, candidates in and possibly the reason for Conference… ‘for’the NUS elections would be given these speeches by whoever had the speaking rights. It is possible to ‘waive’ motions to other people if you feel they will do a better job (as the original person essentially owns the right to speak, this can be handed over). So, chums of the candidates etc would waive VP Welfare running for NUS President, their speech so that the candidate could stand in front of 1500 people and drum up support by speaking about something this sound like a bunch of arse yet? So, in a nutshell, that’s what Conference is about and ask what motions were passed or what occurred. Don’t or what policy was set – I guarantee very few people know, none of what was spoken about will have care. Precisely or belonging to any affect on students at Surrey University, Surrey Students’ Union. It’s pretty intense, and it’s a case down is labelled “Filibustering”. So that’s “Filibustering”. down is labelled the first to put simply not wanting – too many people problem By slow. process is so and the whole motions through, has put in a procedural motion to the time someone or motion and not hear more vote on the amendment Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ The University of Surrey Surrey of University The certain motion. This tactic of talking rubbish to slow things results in a lot of delegates simply speaking in order to slow down Conference – usually so a controversial motion be heard or passed, or if they want to disrupt a can’t someone speak, and votes whether or not they should pass or fail the procedural motion – i.e. If the Chair should be changed, if the question should be put etc. 1500 students in a room, some with political agendas, put, and says what it is. Conference floor then has to vote whether or not to hear the person speak about why they want the procedural motion. Conference then hears be put” – i.e. “I want to vote on this now, stop speaking stop be put” – i.e. “I want to vote on this now, about it”. the Chair If one of these is put to Steering, informs Conference that a procedural motion has been have guessed, are motions (more like votes, actually) on These range from, “No how Conference is proceeding. Confidence in the Chair”, to “The question should now However, it doesn’t work like that. First of all, any work like that. First it doesn’t However, delegate on the floor has the right to put to the Steering which has priority over Committee a ‘procedural motion’, the motion that’s being spoken about. These, as you may to prove you’re a real delegate and not some sad twit who to prove you’re get elected. This then sets wants to be there but couldn’t and all amendments are voted on individually. NUS policy, last speech, after which Conference is asked to vote on last speech, after which Conference It’spassing or not passing the motion. done with a hands- to hold delegate cards in-air approach, although you have offered to any delegate on Conference floor who wishes offered to any delegate on Conference is heard, and an to argue against it. Another for speech continues until the against one is heard or offered. This speaker’s 1500 students platform and speaks to around A speech is then either on why this motion is so important. or a ‘free’already taken to argue against this, speech is representation of Students’ Unions then… like So then, Conference itself should run motion (i.e. wants it this: A person who is speaking for a stands up at the to be passed and made into NUS policy) with that train of thought. Seriously – a with that train of thought. Seriously even know what lot of people there didn’t or when. A true they were voting on, why, like, what people do, or what a motion like, what people do, or what a motion joined by around 1499 other is. You’re student delegates on Conference floor their arses presumably. At this point, anyone still reading have a clue what it’s probably doesn’t was usually the National Secretary) on was usually the National is also an elections various matters. There who organise committee somewhere, where they sit – on elections. Christ knows are essentially responsible for running are essentially responsible organise the order Conference. They the Chair (who of things, and advise to look un-opinionated also and unbiased. Spectators platform at the In front of the raised sit in the gallery. Committee” that front, there is a “Steering these elected representatives sit at the front of Conference, sit at the front of representatives these elected facing Conference on a raised platform, at a big table trying sit in the gallery (non students) NUS Staff floor. 7 page six xh . station wouldn’t havebeenhalfofwhatitwas. without yourparticipationandsupportoverthatmonth,the you peeps,thelisteners.GU2reallyis On behalfofeverybodyatGU2Iwouldliketothankall unsuspecting studentsat6.15everymorning! callstopoor campus trafficreportsandourdailywake-up ventriloquist actsandcardtricksonair, nottomentionthe four weekswewouldsubmitlistenerstolivemimeacts, appearances frommanyoftheGU2team.Duringnext hour marathonshowhostedbyus,withspecialguest kicked offatoneo’clockinthemorningwithaseven snapped atduringthatgruelingfourweeks!).Themonth than wehadfirstrealised(specialapologiestoanybody Boyz. However, theshowprovedtobemoreofaneffort show weimaginativelytitled,Bed&BreakfastwiththeBad each morningtogetincampuspresenttheearly of GU2(Jonandmyself)thismeantwakingupat5am 107.3FM foraroundafiftymileradius.For thebadboys on theinternetworldwide,andinfabulousstereo simultaneously couldbeheardon1350AM,streaming around Guildfordandbeyond!For onemonth,we we wentonFMandstartedbroadcastingtothemasses Back inFebruary 2004,GU2wasfilledwithexcitementas by JeremyMuscat FM period2004 gu2 fmlaunchparty GU2 radio y past fewmonths... place overtheyear, aswellsomeof theshowsthathavefeaturedonGU2over 1350AM GU2.Hereyoucanfindoutalittlemoreabouttheeventsthathavetaken It hasbeenanotherexciting yearforall thoseinvolvedinthestudentradiostation, A yearinthelifeofGU2... your station,and The UniversityofSurrey night! helped mecollectallourequipment attheendof A greatnightwashadbyall, andthankstoeveryonewho played there,Iguess!?)and thebroadcastwasasuccess. was fulltocapacity(due the unusuallygoodmusicbeing with everyonedrinking, having funanddancing. Theclub Brown playingoldschool&cheese!Thenightwentwell and TheLast Skeptik,finishingoffwith JayButcher&Phil consistedoftheCycloneDanceShow The GU2DJline-up getting drunk. adjusting theaerialwhilsteveryoneelsewasinwarm with thesignalsohadtokeeprushingontoroofand to snowthroughoutthenight!We hadabitoftrouble clouds openedup(onafreezingevening)anditstarted until thehoursinwewantedtostartbroadcastinglive. The order tomakesurethesignalwasok.Everythingfine Melody andmyselfwerebusytestingtheequipmentin During theweeksrunningupto,andondayScott, not conflictwithanyunionnights. arranged forthe11thMarch,Thursdaynightinorderto (OB) duringFMperiodwasfinallyarranged.It Time, thenightclubinGuildford,outsidebroadcast After makingnumerousphonecalls,lettersandvisitsto by CraigMartin Time Nightclub Outside Broadcast@ gu2 entertainthemasses Students’ Magazine|May2004 The University of Surrey Students’ Magazine | May 2004 7xh. GU2 radio GU2

GU2 Show Profiles

GU2 Radio broadcasts 24 hours a day from its studios underneath Battersea Court reception. To find out more about all the shows, visit www.gu2.co.uk. Below are a selection of the shows that could entertain your ears this term, and beyond...

The TNT Show *new on GU2* Nafe ‘n’ Chris Show by Tom Brinsley by Nathan Whitaker

When you’re in the first year of your degree like me, and Throughout the year, Nafe and Chris have reshaped you haven’t been at the university for long, it can seem afternoon radio on GU2. Broadcasting on Wednesday like a rather far-fetched idea to become a radio presenter afternoons, the lads have continually sought to lure for the student radio station. The truth is, getting involved students away from the gym and Varsity Centre, - instead with this really important (and showbiz) aspect of the encouraging them to get involved in their weekly show. student community couldn’t have been easier. One day, Nafe and Chris endeavor to be the listener’s best friends, my friend Tom and I decided that it would be quite cool providing them with entertaining shows and guests. The to be presenters on GU2, and so that Thursday we went self entitled “Nafe ‘n’ Chris” show has developed an to the weekly meeting in lecture theatre G and tried to get enthusiastic following of interactive listeners that love to know a few people. I was surprised at the friendly and tuning in weekly to hear their favourite radio features welcoming atmosphere that two random strangers like us including “Back of the Stack”, “21 Questions”, “Ninety’s were given. We said “hi, um we’d like a show please,” Nostalgia”, “GUWho”, & “Worst Case Scenario” to name and the current GU2 station manager Amelia told us it a few. was a good idea, see you tomorrow for some training, Nafe and Chris took full advantage of the opportunity and a week later we were on air! The TNT show now has to broadcast to a wider audience over the FM period in a regular weekly slot on Tuesday at 4 (apologies for the March where they crammed their shows with some notable shameless plugging!) and we are getting more involved features. The listeners responded well to the appearance with the society by the day. We are broadcasting until of one of Nafe’s old school mates, - “PADDY” who the end of semester, and starting up again as soon as travelled down to Guildford to perform a live acoustic set semester starts in September, so now is a great time to get on GU2. involved. You can listen back to many of the shows at http: tom & tom of the tnt show //union.surrey.ac.uk/GU2/archived.php or listen live online during term-time at http://www.gu2.co.uk GU2 Lake Jam 2004

Hasan Akil writes: This is the end of year party to celebrate the survival of GU2 for another year. The event has evolved from a casual affair to an immense party with a bouncy castle, BBQ, and the best DJ’s playing awesome tunes by the lake. All we need now is blue skies and The Dusty Crates Show sunshine. If you want to come along, you can buy tickets at the GU2 meetings - so come along! by Corin Douieb If you thought getting involved with GU2 was difficult or Established last year, The Dusty Crates Show plays the unlikely then rethink. Whether you fancy getting behind freshest in hip hop and funk on the student airwaves. the mic, or just getting involved with the running of a Hosted by producer/DJ The Last Skeptik, the show has professional radio station turn up to the weekly meeting at attracted international guests live in the studio such as 6:15 in Lecture Theatre G every Thursday, and get involved Percee P (Stones Throw/Jurassic 5), DJ Kam (Beyond with your union! Email [email protected] for more There), Ewan Adams (undercover Magazine) and Jazz T information. (Diversion Tactics/Zebra Traffic). Check out the show live every Monday night of term time from 9 - 10pm. Feature compiled by Melody Carter

page seven 7 page eight xh .

the factsand put mytheoriesthat‘thisflavour issueisall those intheknow andcontactedRowntrees tofindout So,after21yearsofeating Smarties-Iwentstraightto a basicrevelation.Ineeded thetruth. the orangeone’?Myupbringing wouldbemarredbysuch play gamesandgo‘oooh, its anorangeone-whowants neglect togivethemspecial attention?Whydidn’t they the orangeonesdidtastedifferent -whydidmyparents been broughtupinacloudedandshelteredexistence, if concern waspurelybecauseIwantedtoknowifhad And whydidIreallycareenoughtoworryaboutit?My a stringofHelynRoseBartastetestsproveinconclusive? backed bymalefriends.Was thereaconnection?Whydid came frommyfemaleassociatesandIwasregularly I noticedthatthemajorityofargumentsagainstmycase Wellor tomatoes-you’re full ofcrapBlair’. tobehonest, thecase,whydon’tthat’s theredonestaste ofstrawberry taste’. ‘Bollocks’wouldoftenbethereturningcomment. ‘If between thecolourandhowbrainthinksitshould ones mustprovokesomekindofstimulatedassociation purely psychologicalassociation’ Iwouldsay. orange ‘The should representaflavour. ‘It’s a conceptthatonlyonecolour 9 coloursandhowridiculous has alwaysbeenthatthereare a differenceatall.Myopinion mention astowhetherthereis more peoplethanIcareto fighting verbalbattleswith from therest?Ihavebeen orange Smartiestastedifferent finally inadulthood-do childhood, adolescenceand has buggedmethrough looking back,onething brother onandoffforseveralcarefreeyears.However, could make-andallowedmetowarpaintmyyounger colours meltedchocolatesweetsandyouthfulhands everything, thatleftmeamazedatthenumberofpretty Thoselittlecolouredblobsofchocthatmeltedover pack ofSmartiesIwouldhavedonealmostanything. revolving aroundmygravitationalpull!Butoh....fora size wasbecominganissueandthatplanetshadstarted I’ve heldlesscommitmenttoosincerealisingthattrouser lad, oneofmyfavouritepasttimeswaseating-something if theywantthem.Beingasphericallychallengedyoung bartering withthechildastohow‘good’ theyhavetobe parents seethemastheprimarywayofpestcontrol, - andlotsofthem.Infact,kidslovesweetssomuchthat traditionthatkidseatsweets It hasbeenalong-standing smarties 1999, followinghisquestforthetruthaboutorangesmarties... Blair, VPCommunicationsandMarketing1999-2000,firstpublishedin5xhDecember 7xh delvesintothearchivesofbfpublications,andbringsyouanofferingfromAndy D o Smarties The UniversityofSurrey havetheanswer? Thelinewentdead.momentthatcouldaffectmy one...... ’ from normalSmarties?.’‘Well MrBlair, aneasy that’s simple questionforme.DoorangeSmartiestastedifferent from GuildfordinSurrey. Iwonderifyoucouldanswera Imused,‘myname’sAndyBlairandI’mcalling ‘Hello Jeff’ young maiden.Iwastransferred.‘Smarties,Jeffspeaking’. ‘Certainly, holdtheline’repliedaYorkshire sounding ‘could youputmeintouchwithaPRrepforSmarties?’. Customer Services-howanIhelp?’.‘Hellothere’saidI, service assistantanswered.‘Goodmorning, Nestle to seewhetherthe‘e’numbersgaveanyclues.Acustomer in thenumberandwaitedfumblingapacketmyhands tothetest.SatinmyofficeUnion,Ipunched bullshit’ by children,so alargeproportionofthe buyingisdone AsI’msureyou’re awareMrBlair, Smarties are eaten used tobringdown)andin littleboxselectionpacks. tubes, novelties,overwrapped cartons(likemygranddad Eggs andhasspecialChristmas presentationsingiant round, Smartiesisoneofthe biggestsellingboxedEaster being guzzledbymillionsof wantingchildrenallyear and hasanextremelystrong brandheritage.Aswellas children’s line,itisoneofthemajorconfectionerybrands children’s market.Althoughtheyareprincipallya accepted asbeingthemostpopularsweetinentire ‘Smartieswereintroducedin1937andarewidely factory, Ilistenedwithwonder.... story tobetoldandlikeAugustusGloopintheWonka remember thetastedifferenceasakid’.Therewas short ‘Never -howlonghavetheybeenlikethat.Idon’t ever memories nowunforgivingfortheirlackofknowledge. Myheartsank.selfesteemruined.childhood do tasteoforangechocolate.’ an easy one...... Yes,second time), that’s the orange ones to theladyonendofline.‘Well Mr Blair(forthe view onasmallpieceofmylifewaspaused.Acampus Students’ Magazine|May2004 I askedthesamequestion with therelevantdepartment, After gettingbackincontact I pursuedthematterfurther. phones returnedtolifeand bugetc..the pre-millennium eating lunch,cursingthe several hoursofwaiting, to theHolyGrail.After Jones andtheLast Crusade as theevilguyfromIndiana left measclosetothetruth out allthephonelinesand wide powercut,knocked . xh

7 smarties page nine to my ear, pen in hand and pen to my ear, for another braced myself intelligence. ‘Nestle insult to my marketing Rowntree have been the Second Smarties since before the - originally under War World to 1958 Rowntree name. Prior had a the dark brown sweet (due to a plain chocolate centre the war) and shortage of milk af was coffee the light brown one puked through flavoured.’ I almost my nose. - if you are so damn ‘Ok knowledgeable give me a method of extraction for chromatography of colour in Smarties.’ I had anything I can help you with Mr Blair?’. ‘Um, yeah - tell the government to allow the building of the new Wembly without athletics provision so we can host the world did you know that it would take one Mr Blair, ‘Well cup’. thousand two hundred and seventy billion, eight hundred and forty six million, six hundred and forty eight thousand, Suddenly five hundred and sixty Smarties to fill Wembly?’ I remembered the advert and chuckled to myself that it just been a clever slogan - Smarties do indeed have hadn’t all the answers. satisfactory results we recommend the minimum number satisfactory results we recommend the and 4 for the darker of sweets to be 7 for the pale shades off the sweets shades. The surface colouring is washed beaker and the in 10-25 mls of hot water in a 100ml approximately 1 decolourised centres discarded. Boil 15 ammonia solution, metre of white wool for 5 minutes in in the dye extract. rinse in cold water and then immerse for 5 minutes. Acidify with dilute acetic acid and simmer Re-extract the Remove the wool and rise in cold water. 1% Ammonia dye from the wool by soaking in 10-15mls and evaporate the solution for 5 minutes. Remove the wool dye solution to dryness on a water bath. Add 2 drops of water to dissolve the extracted dyes and spot the solution recommend that on a chromatographic paper strip. We the ascending chromatographic technique be used and for the solvent use a mixture Ethyle Acetate (40 parts), 2- propanol (30 parts) and water (25 parts). This method was established for use on synthetic colours and may not work satisfactorily for riboflavin and cochineal.’ I am a mere uneducated weakling with no hope of securing a victory in this conversation. She had the knowledge - I only had my upbringing to back up what I chocolates. Maybe it was because knew of sugar-coated I eat mouthfuls at a time rather that individual Smarites that I never tasted the orange - who knows. ‘Is there scored. The last laugh was mine. My amazing one scored. The last laugh was mine. My the young off display of scientific babble had stunned I broke down. Mr Blair...... ’ lady into submission. ‘Well a scientist - skip to next Only read the next bit if you’re paragraph if not... I would firstly advise ‘Because of the chemicals involved In order to produce you to use eye and hand protection. Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ The University of Surrey Surrey of University The orange flavour - its ridiculous’. ‘Well Mr Blair.....’ she she Mr Blair.....’ orange flavour - its ridiculous’. ‘Well I held the phone close muttered. I knew what was coming. I cried. I cried the tears of a man that had seen the ‘Well, mystery behind his childhood edibles washed away. lets face it’ I said, ‘why bother introducing just a single our 50th birthday. This proved so popular that in 1989, our 50th birthday. they were introduced in the standard assortment, replacing the light brown Smartie.’ do was listen - ‘In the 1980’s, research showed that a change might be welcomed and the blue Smarties were made available for a limited period in 1988 to celebrate we found that most people here preferred the original eight colour assortment which had been the same since 1937!’ I held my head in my hands. She went on and all I could Blue Smarties would be well liked, whereas they were not are continually very popular for the other markets. We reviewing the selection available in the UK and in the past and were only available in France, West Germany, Italy, Italy, Germany, West and were only available in France, Belgium and Holland. Research amongst consumers when Smarties were introduced in these countries indicated that answer too. ‘Ok, why blue Smarties - it was all just a answer too. ‘Ok, she confidently uttered, it’. ‘Well’, marketing ploy wasn’t Germany ‘Blue Smarties were originally made in West It was now war. I had lost a personal battle and this I had lost a personal battle and It was now war. all. Bring it on I woman seemed to think she knew it know the don’t thought - I’ll find a question you just tops are to increase the enjoyment that can be derived tops are to increase the enjoyment that all ages collect the from Smarties and many children of quite right. I did that. lids to spell their names etc.’ She was Damn. a functional and smug question that I hoped would restore a functional and smug question that on the inside of my confidence. ‘ So why are there letters the lid - answer that.’ She did. ‘The letters printed on the would equal almost 102,000 km and if they were put would equal almost 102,000 km and would equal almost in tubes and these put end to end it By this time I wanted to knock her down with 29,000km’? The story continued - this woman knew her stuff. ‘A few ‘A her stuff. The story continued - this woman knew you know that if more facts for you then Mr Blair - Did laid end to end it the Smarties eaten in one year were replied, ‘but over 16,000 Smarties are eaten every minute - about 280 think many people really stop per second in the UK. I don’t they do - believe me’ I replied. to think about it’. ‘Oh at the end of the phone. ‘So at the end of the phone. do people often call to ask this question?’ I asked. ‘Not really’ she promotions, such as White Smarties, White as such promotions, Cool Dudes and Greenies.’ the woman At this point I stopped older generation are clearly prone older generation are to more than just remembering also enjoy running Smarties. We them with nostalgia from their them with nostalgia the size of own childhood. Indeed that the the brand would suggest by parents and grandparents who and grandparents by parents as attractive, well regard them sweets and remember packaged 7 page ten xh . I’d liketo spent onthat piazza! Spenditonthethings thatreally Butinsteadof books,allegedlyamillion poundswas Chances ofgettingone: 0 Number ofCopies:5. onloan:5. book outofthelibrary screen says: grand! Let megetthisright…wheneveryouwanttoa on UnisLife.(Oh,rightthen.) Cost?Allegedly statue. Apparentlythiswasmadeclearinapressrelease marketing departmentintheUniversitythatitisanAfrican each other. Iwasinformedbyahelpfulmemberofthe staff relationship–bothheadlesschickensrunningafter my lecturersamusinglystateditsignifiedthestudent- was erectedthererecently?Whatthehellisit?One of - howaboutthatembarrassmentofamonstrosity each, butitcouldwellbe!Onthesubjectofthatpiazza not the cost?Allegedlyseveralgrand.Ihopethat’s functionality whatsoever, whataretheylighting?And something? Wherearetheplanes?Theyhaveno buildings. Isitmeanttobeanunfinishedrunwayor the piazzaoutsideAPandManagementSchool To start,whataboutthosefluorescentbluelightsin highlights… year’s reply.I welcometheUniversity’s Otherwise,herearethis seen orheard.Thereforeifthisisinaccurateinanyway, I’ve seenorheard,whatother(reliablesources)have following commentsareobservations,eitherfromwhat madeaccountabletostudents. The abouttime they’re it’s But,theUniversitygetsitwrongfartoomuch,andIthink improving theserviceforthem.Top marksforITS! great–listeningtostudents,andthen sessions”. That’s like “ImproveyouITskillsathttp://etc.withouronline find theinformationtextatbottomhadsomething overwhelmed whenIloggedintoanopenaccessPC impressed thattheyacknowledgedIexisted.Lastly, Iwas Firstly, Iwasimpressedwiththereply. Secondly, Iwas lookintoit. my comments,andsaidthey’d useful informationonthere).Theyreplied,thankedmefor complex linksonthesurrey.ac.uk website(likemostofthe would, iftheyweren’t buriedbeneathanetworkof excellent, andreallybenefitstudents.Oratleastthey them theironlineITtraining/skillspresentationsare For instance,IcontactedtheITServices(ITS)andtold University getthingsright… I hopetocashinonthefuture.alsorecognise CV aslongmyarm,andmanypersonalbenefitsthat University andUnion,havegotalotoutofitwith and Ienjoybeinginvolvedinotheraspectsofthe what I’dhopedfor, onthegoodsideofaverage, butit’s here ayear, andlovebeing here.Thecourseisn’t quite unis money for studentstodemandsomekindofaccountabilityfromUniS… Neil ChristiediscussesaspectsoftheUniversitythatarelessthansatisfactory Uni statethatIreallyloveitatSurrey. I’vebeen S orUni twenty

The UniversityofSurrey

broken thingsoncampus…thelistisendless. matter –booksforthelibrary, morePCsforstudents,fixing there wasamassive 22%hikeinpricesa coupleofyears a largepercentagefromaccommodation. Hencewhy incomeis made upof prices. AllegedlytheUniversity’s takeaccommodation HowelsedoUniSripusoff? Let’s accommodation forallthe students. the UniversityonOpen Day!),therewasnotenough University thenwouldnotallow thepapertobeputaround – but,as The Universitystates‘guaranteed’ placesforallfirstyears when youfirstarrived,thanktheManagementSchool. you werewonderingwhydidn’t haveaccommodation University, ittakesthemoneyand causesproblems.If of turningdownthemoneythesestudentsbringto happened–instead students onit.Ithinkseewhat’s students! ItalsohasalargepercentageofInternational for mycourse,ithasaboutfourtimesthat–around250 students. Withanoriginalintakeofaround60students without thinkingproperly. Example–Management TheUniversityseemsoverlyeagertoacceptmoney that pridesitselfonitsdiversity, isquitefranklydisgusting. proverbial behind.Thiskindofservice,fromaUniversity of theday, oratweekends,theyshouldkisstheUniversity’s International studentshaveproblemsintheother22hours something like2pmand4pmonweekdays.Presumably if language help.TheInternationalOfficeisopenbetween getting adviceonyourVisa,orcontactsforassistancewith to doso,wouldn’t itbenicetohavesomesupportfor paying overthreetimesasmuchdomesticstudents help. Ifyou’re comingtoaUniversityfromoverseas,and find aqueueofSEVENstudentsandnobodythereto office oftheUniversityotherdayataround3pmto they canrelyon?AstudentwalkedpasttheInternational providing Internationalstudentswithadecentservicethat anicethought. However,students. That’s howabout MaybethestatueistheretowelcomeInternational barefacts $ Students’ Magazine|May2004 reportedearlierintheyear(and ? , andasks Uni$ campus The University of Surrey Students’ Magazine | May 2004 7xh. unis money unis ago, prompting the “Uni$kint” campaign led “Apparently most convincing counter-argument, which was by barefacts. Apparently the University are the University something along the lines of, “I have two PG planning to further increase the levels of revenue degrees, and both were as different from each generated from accommodation. Why?! So are planning other as my UG degree was. One PG degree they can waste cash on non-descript statues, to further was distance based, the other was completely lights, and paving on an area where nobody increase the different. If it’s the case that the PG sabbatical meets unless they’re waiting for a bus? has to be experienced in all instances of The VC stated that it’s almost certain Surrey levels of revenue PG degrees, then they will be immensely would charge the maximum top-up fees to all generated from qualified, and probably have forty years of students, because the University needs more accommodation. Higher Education experience before they have money to compete. Bearing in mind that Surrey experienced every type of PG degree there is on is one of the richest Universities in the country Why?! So they offer.” Indeed. – it owns a lot of land, and I’ve been told we can waste cash The second instance of University interference have a lot of cash too, being in the top five UK on non-descript has happened recently. The Union need Universities for wealth, why does it need to leech statues, lights, more money (affected by declining numbers yet more money from its own students from nationally attending Students’ Unions, due accommodation? and paving on to various factors such as the competition If the University are going to milk us for all an area where from large club chains, and pubs such as we’re worth, then at least they should provide nobody meets Wetherspoons etc.), and have looked for a decent service. I’ve heard that the Marketing external sources of revenue. The Union was department are looking for ways to incite unless they are looking to buy a pub in London that will be students to join Surrey, now that Manor Park waiting for a opposite a new conference centre, which will will allow for a greater intake and top-up fees bus?” be the largest of its kind in Europe. A safe effectively create a market for Higher Education. bet – the Union staff have experience in such Idea: Make sure the services provided are up to matters and are confident of its success, yet the scratch before introducing new ones. University have turned around and stated they won’t be I was without hot water for over a week last semester. happy if it goes ahead. It’s not the best idea to cause a I’ve heard of ants in Battersea Court last year. The ‘refurb’ fuss, as the Union depends upon its block grant of around plan for Campus Accommodation is way behind – leading £650,000 a year from the University, but this has upset a to me being able to wee harder than my shower, and my lot of students. The University have tried putting a stop to windows need some WinSeal or something to keep the something that could help students, haven’t yet increased warmth in (Cathedral Court). The Union’s Accommodation Union funding so the Union isn’t forced into such ventures, officer ironically left before Easter after informing court and haven’t truly listened to Union staff about their ideas. reception of traces of wet patches on his ceiling, only to It’s been done elsewhere by other Students’ Unions (for be welcomed back by a severe case of damp that nobody example Sheffield, and UEA), what’s not to work?! The in Accommodation or Estates and Buildings bothered to attitude of the University is disappointing – its Union needs take notice of. He’s now living elsewhere and a room is money, does a lot of good with it, why not give it some effectively ruined for the short to medium term. more or help it with new ideas? The University then have Let me detail a couple of instances of the University the cheek to do things like claiming Chinese New Year interfering with Students’ Union affairs that not everyone celebrations in the Union as their own initiative, planning, may know about. Firstly, with the introduction of a new and event. For the record, it was 100% Union run. Postgraduate Sabbatical, the University were originally On a different note, as Academic Affairs officer I’ve had concerned about the representation of Postgraduates people complaining about issues on their courses. There (PGs), and rightly so – with the percentage of them have been countless problems, from incompetent lecturers at UniS increasing year on year. The University and and lecture notes not being available to dire examination PG Association both welcomed the Union initiative to timetables and coursework deadlines that are totally introduce a 6th Sabbatical to represent PGs, and as the unreasonable. These simple things can be avoided if Union aren’t the most affluent of places – being a charity enough care is given to them. and all, the University initially implied they’d fund the I’d like to make a plea to all students to start openly position (presumably by increasing the Union’s block holding the University to account – write to barefacts, go grant). However, after creating the position and putting to your course reps, talk to senior residents. There’s a lot it up for election, the University said they’d only fund it of good things happening at this University that everyone if the winner was a PG. Nice one! The Union wouldn’t can find out about and get involved in, but there’s an accept the University’s hypocrisy, for various reasons, awful lot of issues that have filled around 1600 words or and stated they’d fund it themselves. The Union has now so of this article. If students make the effort to publicise had to find around £19,000 out of its budget without the errors of the University’s ways, the University will make increasing drinks prices or trying to make money out of the effort to put them right. students – admirable, I’d say. The argument the University UniS: Instead of new incentives, current services should have is that an UG can’t represent a PG on issues the UG be pulled up to scratch and kept there instead of trying to hasn’t experienced. A PG student offered, for me, the make money out of students. You know it makes sense…

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whatever painwefeelcanbeexperiencedbysomebody us all,asperhapsweshouldsometimesrememberthat callfor for thosewhohurthimtobeforgivenisawake-up a filmseeingmanbrutallycondemnedwhilstbegging today. WhetheryoubelieveinChristornot,sittingthrough as demonstratedbymostreligiousgoverningbodiesof isstillthegreatestchallengeofthemall, the othercheek” Theconceptofmercy,another”. forgiveness,and“turning men willknowthatyouaremydisciples,ifloveone have lovedyou,soyoumustloveoneanother. Bythisall new commandmentIgiveyou:Love oneanother. AsI knows) thetenthatwerepreviouslyreceivedbyMoses.“A a newlawtobeadded(orreplace,nobodyquite around thetablewithhistwelvedisciples,hegivesthem AndthusbeginsthelegacyofChristianity. AsChristsits suffering, begshisfathertoforgivethem. instead ofcondemningthosethatcausehimpainand the crosstoGolgotha,Christturnsothercheekand inhumane scourgingandtherelentlessjourneycarrying he begsGodtoforgivethosethathurthim.Evenafterthe follow. Ashescreamsoutwhilstbeingnailedtothe cross, death, butwhoultimatelysetsthestandardsweshouldall human beingfacedwithalifeofdevotionfrombirthto the filmconveysbrutalscourgingandexecutionofa betrayalbyJudasIscariot, Set fromthemomentofChrist’s exploration oftheoriginalvirtuousconceptsChristianity. Passionmotion picture,“The isafreshre- OfChrist”, who strayfromarchaicreligiouslaw, MelGibson’s recent and thepreachingofheresyhatredagainstthose In themidst film feature life thatcanbelearntfromit. andexamine Passion thelessonsonmodern film ‘The ofChrist’, Dom FernandoandChrisWard lookatMelGibson’s contraversial must love oneanother...” “As Ihave loved you, you ofextremeambiguity, misinterpretation The UniversityofSurrey of linguisticshavestatedthat,afteranalysingthescript, yearsago.Professorsscene thatoccurredtwo-thousand or melodramatic,whilstbringingtheaudiencecloserto Gibson avoidstheprospectofhisactorssoundingcheesy Bruce Almighty).ScriptedinLatin andancientAramaic, (John Debney–composerofsuchreligiousepicsas… beautifully shotactedsuperblyandwonderfullyscored ThefilmchartersthelasttwelvehoursofChrist,it’s have, makingusgratefulforit. us, andremindsusofwhatwe else ten-timesgreater. Ithumbles miracles arepossible. alottoaskbut much painandsufferingin theworld,it’s everyone aswelovedourfriends thenwouldtheirbeso and reallylookedathowwe treateachother, ifweloved to forgiveandloveyourenemies. Ifwealljuststopped it. Therewasnooppression, nohiddenagenda,itwas he preachedforpeopletoloveoneanotherandthat’s has madeafilmthatshowedoneman’s loveforeveryone, of meversusus,altruismselfishness.MelGibson detract fromeachother, andfighttheever-lasting conflict person forwhotheyare;alternatively, wecan continueto of ournaturalhumanselfishness,andloveeach every that film.We can eitherfollowtheexample,stripourselves today has two choices in regards to the events portrayed by Inconclusion,itseemsthateachandeveryoneofus motion picture. most certainlycaptivatedhisaudiencewithsuchapowerful this filmandfindaboredordistractedface–Gibsonhas the readertolookaroundcinematowardsendof contact tothestripping, itcouldbereal.We challenge Each whipstripsJesusofhisfleshandyouseeitfromthe piece ofCinemaI’veseensincetheCannibalHolocaust). infamous scourgingscene(probablythemostdisturbing where youhearthebonecrunchingblowstonow around, itbecomesreal.Itistooreal,fromthebeatings but whenitisshotwithsomeofthebestspecialeffects imagined, aCrucifixionisnotpleasantactivitytobehold, disturbing atpointsandwarrantsitsadult18rating. As a motherforhersonexample.Thefilmcanbevery filled theoldunemotionaltextwithhumanity:loveof general archaicfeelconveyedbythespeechinfilm.It of thelanguage,ismovedandcarriedalongby to thelayviewer, who,assomebodywithnoknowledge film islinguisticallyinaccurate.However, thisisirrelevant Students’ Magazine|May2004 . xh

7 quantum page thirteen by Jim Al-Khalili

And the best thing of all, if you are confused, the guy at this university (who in fact is a very nice guy and I am sure he would be more than pleased), should you wish to bombard with questions if it need be. So if you enjoyed the likes of “Brief History of Time” or want to know a bit more about modern physics then I would definitely recommend this book as it describes and written at its most easily physics at its most interesting, comprehensible. confusing science helping to give a better perspective on confusing science helping to give a The style of this quantum mechanics being a real thing. “Brief History book reminds me of the Stephen Hawking accessible and of Time” series, trying to make physics interesting for the everyday person, however personally I found this book more accessible than brief history of time as Hawking’s book tackled more than one subject so there was not enough explanation for the non-physicist, but Quantum starts at the beginning and holds your hand all the way through. This is the kind of book you want to read if you want to wow your mates down the pub with your knowledge of cutting edge science, or for trying to solve the big can find out about You question on how weird is reality. Schrödinger’s cat – can the cat be dead and alive at the same time, can a quantum computer work because the particles are in two states at once? who wrote the book is none other than a lecturer here Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’

review by Jen Walker review by Jen The University of Surrey Surrey of University The such as quantum game theory and quantum computing, such as quantum game theory and quantum computing, which provide an insight into the actual uses for this world of quantum mechanics as well as trying to do the job of “the idiots guide to Quantum Mechanics”. In between chapters and texts, this book includes essays and subchapters about the applications for quantum physics atoms can be found in two positions at once. a guide for the perplexed” has a good “Quantum structure into delving into the strange and wonderful twists round all the physics that school has taught you twists round all the physics that school example light behaves schizophrenically as it about. For wave form, or that can take both a particle form and a person – but possible in quantum mechanics. However it is person – but possible in quantum mechanics. quantum mechanics specifically this weirdness that makes it breaks rules and so thoroughly interesting and enticing, without messing too much with your head, for example the without messing too much with your universes), which is many worlds theory (basically parallel eyes of the everyday on the verge of science fiction in the Quantum Physics disturbs even the most accomplished Quantum Physics disturbs even the if you understand it physicist leading to the conclusion that know anything about the subject; and some then you don’t theories of the more simplified and easily understood describes quantum physics without all the horrible maths describes quantum physics without all for aesthetic (the only equation in here is really just purposes). subject for the non-physicist with a good captivating, captivating, subject for the non-physicist with a good digestible analogies humorous, simple writing style, easily thing is it and pretty pictures, but the most important science and technology, but it is also the most bizarre and but it is also science and technology, book tries to make disturbing one as well. Jim Al-Khalili’s an approachable this wonderful and strange theory into don’t study physics probably don’t even know what even don’t study physics probably don’t is, but have just heard it used in quantum mechanics or mentioned on documentaries. science fiction films fundamental theory in modern It is however the most Quantum Mechanics, a science which seems so Sci-fi, a science which seems so Sci-fi, Quantum Mechanics, Most people who so exotic and so unapproachable. Quantum - A Guide for the Perplexed the for - A Guide Quantum 7 page fourteen xh .

end oftermdays! looks likeonetowatch–aperfectfilmfillthoseempty Whatever yourviewpointonhistoricalbattlefilms,Troy honour, andTroy’s defenceshaveneverbeenbreached. Agamemnon’s questismotivatedbygreedratherthan seemingly invinciblewarriorAchilles(BradPitt).However, launches anattacktostealherback.Theisledby war asMendalas’sbrother, Agamemnon(BrianCox), King Mendelas(BrendanGleeson),itinitiatesaten-year steals Helen(DianeKruger)awayfromherhusband romance. WhenParis, Prince ofTroy (OrlandoBloom) but thereseemstobemuchmoreitthansimple details putitdownsimplyasataleofloveandvengeance, Iliad’,officialplot ‘The Inspired bythetaleinHomer’s extravaganza lookssettobethebiggestfilmof2004. massive setsandidylliclocations,the$140million really definesthegenre.ItboastsanimpressiveAlistcast, cinemas inrecentmonths,Troy couldbethefilmthat judging fromthetrailersforTroy thathaveappearedin resurrected genreofthe‘swordsandsandalsepic’,but Back in2000,Gladiatorwasthefirstnewly cast forWolfgang Peterson’s epicaboutthesiegeofTroy. Brad Pitt,EricBanaandOrlandoBloomheadanall-star Release date:21May2004 Troy blockbusters what istheretosee,andreallyworthallthatmoney. trying topersuadeyoupartwithyour£5.50attheOdeon.SarahButterworthlooks ... whentheHollywoodblockbustershitscreen,andeverywheretherearepromotions I t’s thattimeofyearagain... The UniversityofSurrey and youshouldn’t bedisappointed. have beencountingthemonths untilthisfilm’s release... you, butifyou’re aHarryPotter fanthennodoubtyouwill fill ofwitchcraftandwizardry thenthismightnotbefor the adultmarketthanyounger end.Ifyou’ve hadyour children andadultsalike– perhaps evenaimedmoreat As withthefirsttwofilms,this lookstobeoneforboth The Prisoner OfAzkabaniscertainly heavier anddarker. Columbus, AlfonsoCuarón’s visionforHarryPotter And Replacing themoreconventionaldirectingstyleofChris searching foronething–Harry. parents,everyonebelievesthatBlackis death ofHarry’s With rumourscirculatingthathewasinvolvedinthe Sirius Black(GaryOldman),escapesfromAzkabanprison. notorious murdererandapparentheirtoLord Voldemort, He hastofacehismostdangeroussituationyet,as third yearatHogwartsschoolofWitchcraftandWizadry. Life isn’t gettinganyeasierforHarry, whoisnowinhis grittiest andbestadoptionofthepopularnovelssofar. already rumblingsinfilmcriticcirclesthatthiscouldbethe Dumbledore, replacingthelateRichardHarris.Thereare Cuarón takingthereins,andMichaelGambonasnew hits cinemason4 The longawaitedthirdinstalmentoftheHarryPotter saga Release date:4Jun2004 Prisoner OfAzkaban Harry Potter &The Students’ Magazine|May2004 th June2004,withnewdirectorAlfonso . xh

7 blockbusters page fifteen Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst and James Franco. It also Maguire, Kirsten Dunst and James Franco. Tobey to produce even a has all the ingredients usually needed (of course), romance, half successful action movie – action effects. and a smattering of computer generated on the internet are If the various trailers in cinemas and this is going to be a great piece of anything to go by, of the biggest films entertainment, and quite possibly one I’m definitely going to see it, and I’m no die Well, this year. hard action movie fan... Spiderman 2 Spiderman date: 16 July 2004 Release the unlikely hero Parker, Maguire returns as Pete Tobey Marvel Comics, in the eagerly based on the classic 2. He is now struggling to balance anticipated Spiderman student and a superhuman crime dual life as a college life escalates as Spiderman’s The excitement fighter. new complicated when he confronts a becomes even more Molina) who has the brilliant Otto Octavius, (Alfred enemy, as the maniacal “Doc Ock.” been reincarnated wants nothing more than to reveal his secret Parker and his problems are identity to Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) Harry Osborn (James compounded as his friendship with is under threat by Harry’sFranco) growing hatred of who killed his father in the first instalment of Spider-Man, the saga. who helped to make The film reunites many of the people Sam Raimi, and stars the first film such a success - Director Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’

The University of Surrey Surrey of University The 2 is guaranteed to be great summer viewing (although avoid Saturday morning showings unless you fancy being the oldest person in the screen)! those critics who claim that a sequel can never be as good as the original. With more top actors voicing the new Shrek characters, and what looks to be another great story, Jennifer Saunders from ‘Absolutely Fabulous’. Jennifer Saunders from ‘Absolutely Story 2, this sequel looks to defy In a similar vein to Toy obligatory ugly sister. The film has also given the directors obligatory ugly sister. who was cut from a chance to resurrect Dama Fortuna, the original film due to the restraints of time and money. Godmother is also played by a famous name - The Fairy as John Cleese and Julie Andrews (playing Fiona The as John Cleese and Julie Andrews (playing Fiona Ogre’s parents, King Harold and Queen Lillian), Antonio King of CNN as the Banderas (as Puss In Boots) and Larry Whilst Shrek 2 is all set to be a sure-fire success, have not rested on their laurels. The already DreamWorks star studded cast has been added to with big names such they received them; not surprising since they were offered $5million each for only a fortnight’s work! first outing was adapted from William Steig’s children’s Steig’s children’s first outing was adapted from William triumph financially, book with such skill that it was a huge alone. It is netting over $260 at the US Box Office contracts on the day rumoured that the stars signed their Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz are back Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron world’s favourite for the second cinematic outing of the hit – the ogre. The Shrek sequel is almost a guaranteed Release date: 2 July 2004 Release Shrek 2 7 page sixteen xh .

(and painful)useofcheesewire. or twocontraptionsmakingingenious excessive amountsofspikesandone least. Thewonderfultrapsinclude want youfromafilmatthevery makes agoodnightin,whichisreally with suspense,butisn’t –Insteadit top form.Thefilmwantstobepacked 2 dimensionalbuttheconceptison treachery. Thecharactersareatad its waythroughnoveltrapsand minimalism toitsadvantagetwisting escape. Thefilmdoeswell,usingits certain skillsthatmayaidtheir as theythought,eachonepossessing incarceration maynotbeasrandom the traps&pitfallstheyrealisetheir monstrous place-Astheytraverse long toworkouthowgetofthe water beingabsenttheydon’t have built upoftrapfilledcubes.Food & sealed intoagiantfacelessprison strangers awaketofindthemselves sci-fithrillerwhere6 High-concept CUBE: film feature cube the shopsonDVD. making goodonasmallscale…Someofthemdoactuallyhavesomethingclosetobudget,andspecialeffects big wigsyouhavea.)Agoodplot,b.)Excellent charactersoratleastc.)Aninterestingpremise.Hereare4such Neil Boultontakesaganderatfilmsonsmallerscale.Whenyoucan A nti-Blockbusters -DVD market picks…suddenlyeveryone predicting thenextdaysstock computer systemdies,afteraccurately no different.Thenonedayhis and thestockmarketshouldbe numerical patternseverywhere have apatternbehindit,thereare chaos thatisthestockmarketmust He’s convincedthesystemofordered working domainisthestockmarket. mathematician, MaxCohen,whose numbers. Theplotconcernsagifted itself withnumbers,lotsandof different waytoCube–Itconcerns science fictionthriller, butinavery ‘Requiem For ADream’. Piisalsoa Oscarbotheringouting Aranofsky’s predecessortoDarren small-scale detail) beforeinbarefacts,butthe I’ve mentionedthisfilm(inverybrief PI: score musicby ClintMansell. dance andthelike;itcontains bleepy selling point,packedwithnice IDM, alsoagood fans. Thesoundtrack’s out andthefilm’s amustfornumbers mathematician turninghis head inside does agreatjobastheparanoid texts oftheKabbalah. SeanGuillette unlocking thesecretbehindholy answer toriches,andthe sect chasehimfortheanswer-The greedy corporationandaKabbalah own paranoiaenvelopinghimasa things getprogressivelyworse,his becomes interestedinhisworkand The UniversityofSurrey

pi Students’ Magazine|May2004 ’t affordbigstars,orevencompetentones might expecttheTVcompanyaren’t easily anytimesoon.Andasyou and hasnointentionofkeelingover champion iseightmonthspregnant of theremains.Thecurrentreigning other, killingeachotheruntiljustone randomly chosentogoagainsteach television showwherepeopleare the series7marathonofafictional itself aprettygoodidea.Series7is television isheaded?Series7has So, wheredoyouthinkallthisreality SERIES 7: Us Apart’ incinema. Us Apart’ use ofJoyDivision’s ‘Love WillTear film alsoincludespossiblythefunniest Boys… onanothermusicalfrontthe Alt-rock heavy-weights GirlsAgainst cool soundtrack,craftedbyAmerican more sinister. Anotherfilmwitha that makestheproceedingseven disc possesanalternativeending worth lookingforonDVD, asthe in adog-eat-dog situation.Definitely documentary onagroupofpeople dodgy TV-sheen toformabizarre Low-tech visualscombiningwith Big BrothermeetsTheRunningMan. people whowatchit–thinkofas sticks atrealitytelevisionandthe Prodding satire, butfunnone-the-less. film isaratherbluntpieceofmedia becoming suspiciouslyplanned.The her either, theeventsinshow going tomakethingsanyeasierfor films, (well, they’re alltypec.)atleast) films,(well,they’re

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7 film feature page seventeen words: neil boulton shelves (Usually in a darkest corner section) and near the Jazz of HMV, is well worth seeking out. If you think you like that sort of thing. theme to Gibson vehicle theme to Gibson vehicle bad the ‘Conspiracy Theory’ (Too side) and the on the duff film’s appearing Arabic-rock-techno to the George on the soundtrack war film Clooney starring unusual ‘Three His anachronistic Kings’. anachronistic ‘A score for the rather combines medieval Knight’s Tale’ values with a rock concert to produce a wonderful juxtaposition of styles – However his more conventional score for the film comprises of some of the ‘Fargo’ most emotional compositions I’ve ever heard. A large amount of his soundtrack work has found itself on shop burwell CarterBurwell the wonderfully jazzy films (All of Spike Jonze’s films as well) and it usually find a where you’ll lot of his off-kilter compositions. For part ‘Raising Arizona’ of the score involved Ode To Beethoven’s Joy being plucked away on a banjo, other exemplary works of his include sombre piano lead compositions. portraying Successfully the emotion and action of a film while often getting to be all quirky about it. He started off scoring the films of the Coen Brothers and has provided music for every one of their Burwell, is my favourite. While nowhere near as known as the big guns of the cinema-scorers Henry Mancini…) (Hans Zimmer, he has a rather unique style which I think sets him apart from others, people describing his style as one combining traditional orchestras with untraditional music – Occasionally avant- garde, often throwing in elements of jazz and heavy metal or just creating Usually in the traditional barefacts Usually in the traditional get an article film section you’d actor or talking about a film, so obvious). a director (So far, going to look However today I’m element in a at an often-ignored Music is very film, the composer. the soundtrack important to film, augmenting the visuals to turn your emotions on their head sometimes with out you even noticing it. The composer in question, one Carter Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ run lola run - it definitely helps it’s frantic scrabbling narrative. caked in style and flashy bits. let the Don’t fact it’s German or put you off, the thumping techno music series 7

endings. All three of which are just minutes to get the money together. minutes to get the money together. rush to get things So we see the Lola together in real-time, mixing the odd bit of animation, techno and multiple phone call from her boyfriend, who’s lost a small fortune belonging to his mobster boss… and they have 20 things happen for Franke Potente (Her Potente things happen for Franke in ‘The Bourne Identity’). She starts who receives a desperate as Lola, the screens (So does a very nice film the screens (So does a very nice film called ‘Timecode’ You by Mike Figgis. should watch that too.) and made RUN LOLA, RUN: RUN: RUN LOLA, cinema time, folks - This film Foreign from Germany had the whole real- time thing going on before 24 hit

The University of Surrey Surrey of University The

Classics Classics

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, to get your little movie noticed by the , to get your little films, (well, they’re type c.) at least) all ’t afford big stars, or even competent ones ’t afford big stars, nti-Blockbusters - DVD DVD - nti-Blockbusters Neil Boulton takes a gander at films on a smaller scale. When you can a gander at films on a smaller Neil Boulton takes Here are 4 such at least c.) An interesting premise. characters or a.) A good plot, b.) Excellent big wigs you have to a budget, and special effects actually have something close a small scale… Some of them do making good on the shops on DVD. 7 page eighteen xh . This week’s singleselection iskicked This week’s by corindouieb lunch money(4stars). definitely wortheverypenny ofyour HMV buyingpublic,seekit out, asit’s may behardtofindforyour average dream-inducing beat.Althoughthis insomniac’s talesoverabrooding, Yungun rhymingperfectly, tellingan man ofthemomentJehst,and aficionado’s ears.Slumberfeatures release essentialtoanygoodmusic second single,andyetanother Beyond Thereblessuswiththeir (72) UKDJandproductioncollective (3 stars). yet anotherhitforyourSpeakerboxxx Sleepy Browncroonsthehook,on his usualdirtysouthgrowlingtone. Big Boiripsaparthissoloeffortwith as heavyyo’momma’s momma, nonetheless. Assistedwithabassline itisagreattune your eye-pieces, song bythetimethisreviewreaches Although thiswillbeafairlyold WayOutkast ‘The You Move’ by jonallen seeking outandbuying(4stars). Well, fantastic!Very it’s wellworth Roobarb andCustard.Soundsweird? Beatles playedthethemetuneto of whatwouldhavehappenedifThe Bees Wash intheRain single reviewforthesemesterwith recently (3stars).Ifinishoffmylast almost aweekafterseeingthem I wasleftwithringinginmyearsfor go andseethemlive,takeearplugs. One wordofwarningthough,ifyou sound. and itsthunderingbass-heavy with averydistinctivedoomyvocal Disaster,Eighties MatchboxB-Line Records) ismuchmorelikeThe Don’t You DoItforMe? rather likeTheWhiteStripes,but 20s off byLincolnshireblues-smiths music The Musicteamgivetheirtakeonthetopsinglestoarriveinbfintrayoverpastfewmonths . Theirearlyreleasessounded , givingustheirinterpretation 7 Beyond There‘Slumber’ xh . (Universal)by mus (Heavenly (BMG) 22- Why The

the songisnotunpleasant,it pitifully likeDido,andalthough McLachlan croonsalongsounding After a song wasabitofdisappointment. (Artista Records)Unfortunatelythis stars). smoother stylefromthemid-90’s(3 is farmoreinkeepingwithUsher’s performers. Theb-side by thecontrastingvocalstylesof repetition ofthemusic,thisisavoided monotonous duetothecontinuous the potentialforsongtobecome and punchychorus.Althoughthereis catchy asaresultofitsdancybeat Lil’ JonandLudacris andisinstantly The formernumberonefeatures ‘Yeah’ along to(4stars). that youhavetosing creating afeel-goodsong unique instrumentation, by apoundingbasslineand vocals arecomplemented hit. AdamLevine’s smooth characteristics ofanotherbig Breathe the fantastic in styletotheirdebuthit, this songistotallydifferent second single.Although boys arebackwiththeir (Octjay Records)TheLA Love’ Maroon 5,‘This McLachlan’s pianoplayingmer pace isslow(ascustomary)and particularly intriguingeither. The i

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Students’ Magazine|May2004 by mattbadcock moving toanotherlevel(4 stars). delivery showingTheBetaBand converge withthematurevocalist U2 styleguitars,andSixties drums Assessment (EMI).Aneclectic mixof Band welcome return,thefantastic irresistible gem(3stars).Makinga mellow guitarsandsoftvocalsinthis Run takesoffatamoderatepacewith signs ofimmensetalent,Run, of Run,Run(Source).Showing Zero 7)withthelaidbackgrooves quality downtemporeleases(Air, Phoenix’s this Skeptik(4stars).French gurus Lets hopethisisn’t thelastweseeof reminiscing aboutthegoodolddays. in thesamevainwithitsstrongchorus of Skeptik.Prior toPresent continues illustratingthetalents skool hip-hop offers afineexampleofjazzyold- abilities ofSquared,Word Search (NetGroove). Usingthevocal Word SearchandPrior toPresent releases fulldebut,doubleA-side North London’s star). just fromacoupleoflistenstothis(1 my mindwasconstantlywandering music, whichisashame.Ifoundthat blends intothedensetextureof offertheexcellentbrooding by louiseo’neill adds tothisyearsalready The LastSkeptik

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7 music Fly In is the contains c . Single, page nineteen i takes on Justin Breakout Fly Or Die

Fly Or Die | Virgin Drill Sergeant comes the collective mus Treddin’ On Thin Ice | XL Treddin’ seeing N*E*R*D putting . xh albums The truly wonderful star attraction incorporating laid grooves, irresistible beats and intense expressionism. A mix bag in more ways than one, undoubted quality throughout, although as a consequence cannot shake off its disjointed feel. 3 stars | m.b. may be stoked by the horrible txt- speak employed on some of the track titles (Pick UR Self Up) and my dislike of Dizzee Rascal. Plus the lack of pace-change through-out the whole album is a pretty bad thing whatever genre (Despite the song about Pies). 1 star | n.b. N*E*R*D | On the back of the acclaimed Search Of Or Die, on their musician heads. Notably known as the hottest producers on the planet (The Neptunes) N*E*R*D use this skill to great affect taking too in rocking soul, Backseat Love toe tapping Move To She Wants Timberlake Beats and soulful vocals in this eclectic style they’ve made their own, pushing the boundaries of hip hop to rejoice every genre going. WILEY | has arrived, The sound of the streets of similar following the success sounding Post-UK-garage-type-style (There’s a track on this album with Wiley complaining about genre his music is, apparently it’s ‘eski-beat’) success of Dizzee Rascal, minimalistic drumbeats and sampled strings ‘n’ beat around blips everywhere. I won’t the bush; I’m definitely not a fan avid followers of this of this – For new wave of UK urban music, it’s new and the bees- probably shiny, knees, but for me it’s not. This bias 7 1 just Majesty/ has done Breathe Sia Madrugada This Deed ’s by only really due to my severe Electralane a slow-burning vocal/piano madrugada dissappoinment). by neil boulton to the fold (2 Stars). 30 seconds in and just. It’sabout gets going, a sedate affair… on paper it looked highly German lyrics taken from interesting, Nietche, produced by Steve Albini (I like Steve Albini) but it’s just a wholly underwhelming experience, Sia had both the A-side and more energy, the Roxy Music cover B-side sound a tad like a German art version of Dido. Damn you Steve Albini ( Star - of Iggy Pop. The b-side The swings far of Iggy Pop. more towards Iggy than Nick. The music’s good but I’d prefer a bit more originality (3 stars). Now vocal work before with High Priests of the Coffee-table-classic Zero7 but this her going it alone with Me combo with accompanying beats. It’d be easy to compare her to Dido, so I will. The song starts of floating along but builds itself up as it reaches it’s conclusion with strings coming same formula as the first track with a more hi-octane 3-odd minutes (3 stars). Next is double A-side Seven Seconds Nations), which is correctly (Music For stated as being very similar to a late- period Nick Cave. Unfortunately rather than creativity they appear to be outstanding at creating facsimile, this proved by Seven Seconds finding the band now almost a direct mimic

(2 The You’re You’re Wanna Wanna Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ (Regal) (3 Say ’s in two years. in two years. with (Albert Prod.) (Albert Prod.) Our Lives You’re a Fool a You’re The Concretes G Unit (Interscope) (1 which laments the pick of the but a slightly more Beats for Beginners The River Cathy Davey The Calling Johnny Panic ’s played the union back in (3 stars) a dose of emo-rock Technology is very similar to predecessor

The University of Surrey Surrey of University The River La Ultima Hora B-side ‘The Shadows’ sedate affair. is a far more up tempo but uses the February and February is more of the Spanish flavoured rock/ metal they’ve for. become known by pete wigfield Breed 77 Our Lives is a dose of radio rock Not similar to that of Ronan Keating. a bad song but nothing special. is definitely the highlight as a dose of upbeat happy rock. stars) is the first new material to be released by from London, styled very much on from London, The songs are Jimmy Eat World. and the song catchy, First up is First a Fool guns – all to a jolly ‘Supergrass’ style guns – all to a jolly ‘Supergrass’ style tune – well worth a listen. by matt fisher amongst other things about the death amongst other things about the death of Betamax, and how technology has replaced monkeys with robots and to PJ Harvey. Last up is the gentle Last to PJ Harvey. jolly sounds of & Hope) (4 stars) and the (Faith single stars) thankfully is far better, fusing a fusing stars) thankfully is far better, mixture of sugary sweet and ferocious vocals to great extent, similar in style star), which horrifically uses the late star), which horrifically uses the late is great voice of Marvin Gaye, but still plain awful. very much in contrast with the quite dreadful release of Get to Know You Something New vocals and organ bunch with the sultry swirls crying out to be played on a hazy Summer’s afternoon. This is (Licking Fingers) (3 stars) offer (3 stars) (Licking Fingers) collection an interestingly chilled single of songs, with main Sounding like a Scandinavian Sounding like a Scandinavian elevator music Catatonia mixed with in the background, r e v i e w s s i n g l e c: i mus 7 page twenty xh . Tali isoneoftherecent drumand TALI |Lyric onMyLip|FullCycle considered as ‘anthems’byanydrum the painfulamountofwhat mustbe However, Iendured,andencountered not adrumandbassaficionado. First off, Ihavetomentionthat I’m Trouble OnVinyl SHY FXPresents |FastLane | waste. that tendstoresidethere.Whata of thechartstojoinpopgarbage to lubricateaveryfastslidethetop produced untiltheyareslickenough but sadlytheyhavebeenover- the guitarlinesshowgreatpromise, trying torocklikeBonJovi.Someof of theaforementionedAussiepopsters and itslipsintotheexpectedsounds Unfortunately thisdoesn’t lastlong, introduces impressive robustguitarriffthat however, youaremetwiththe as thealbumgoesintoplayer Things soundbadalready. Assoon that soundslikeSavageGarden. music TVchannels.Yeah thatone it’s around theradioandmainstream single You’ve probablyheardtheirlatest Playground Music THE RASMUS|DeadLetters 3 stars|p.w. cater forthemassmarket. is thatitdoessoundtoopolished,to The mainproblemwiththisalbum similar toPuretone’sAddictedBase. and wonderfullysmoothvocals,fairly stylevocals between goodHip-Hop hit thealbumishowshecanswitch first thingthatstrikesyouwhen she ishopingtomakeitbig. The having justcompletedaUKtour somewhat legendaryRoniSizeand the ‘mainstream’. Produced bythe bass actstobreakthroughinto albums In theShadows 7 2 stars|j.a. xh First DayofMyLife . mus knocking . kicked offwith from severaldifferentgenres.It’s image,andtakesreferences old lo-fi since heleftBlur, departsfromhis an outsideproducer, andhisfirst Graham Coxon’s firstalbumtouse Magazines |Transcopic GRAHAM COXON |Happinessin c.d. of thisright…about…now. Dawn, thenpurchaseyourselfacopy Dubstars, Marky, DillinjaandConcord drum andbass,specificallyEbony a touchoutofplace.Ifyouknowyour weirdo, butalas,inmyroom,itseems I’d bedrunkenlydancingtoitlikea that ifthisCDwasmixedinaclub, and bassfan.Icanthelpbutthink j.a. British musicalcommunity. return fromoneofthepillars ofthe Freakin’ Out plain-fantastic oldschoolpunk-rock of of minimalistblues White Stripes-esque styles onthisalbum,wehavethe To finishoffthewiderangeofmusical single with songs,asseen write quirkyindie-pop Coxon isalsostillperfectlyableto Cockneyscuzz-punk. Costello-style Good Time i c: Girl DoneGone Hopeless Friend Bittersweet BundleofMisery The UniversityofSurrey , twogreatblastsofElvis Albums & & Albums . Thisisaverywelcome Spectacular andthejust- and thecurrent 3 stars| 4 stars| and No Students’ Magazine|May2004 . Jane flaw, thetrack solos. Thereisoneexceptiontothis distinct lackofcatchyriffsandguitar vocals. For arockalbum,thereis same powerfulchordsandshrieking songs soundrathersimilar, withthe vibe ofthealbumistolerable, rock numbers.Althoughtheoverall features manyfuelled-upDatsuns-like inspiration foragoodtime’,and album is,accordingtoStephens‘just Jennifer Stephens.This,theirdebut from Austin, Texas, fronted by vocalists Young HeartAttackareafive-piece Of Love|XLRecords YOUNG HEART ATTACK | Mouthful breathtaking collection. defining albumofNoughties, atruly Hopes andFears, issettobethe piano in this atmospheric masterpiece. Tom’s heartfelt vocalsandsparkling this fantasticLP, UK’s shoressinceColdplay. Closing brightest talenttocomeoutfromthe signature. Keane arenodoubtthe sparked anindustrybattlefortheir Panda lastyear, piano. OriginallyreleasedonFierce immaculate vocalsandcharacteristic Changing released, currentsingle Bend andBreak The beautifullydeliveredlyricsof compromised fromstarttofinish. Know Somewhere OnlyWhereWe and Fears beginswithsmashsingle, more thanholdtheirown.Hopes unique quality(nobassplayer), and Coldplay, butwithKeane’s comparisons tothelikesofTravis This exceptionaldebut,mayattract Universal KEANE |HopesAndFears otherwise tediousalbum. songs, andisdefinitelyredeemsan far moremelodicthantherestof takes theleadvocals.Thistrackis , inwhichguitaristChrisHodge settingaprecedentthatisnot showing offTom’s Take MeDownMary Bedshaped This TheLastTime arefollowedbyre-

Everybody’s Everybody’s 5 stars| 1 star|l.o. combines m.b. gigs galore... gigs . xh

7 gigs galore . The page twentyone Grace Pumping In It For The as Gaz beams to is delivered in makes a timely Caught By The Fuzz highlights the diversity Richard III is quickly followed by the is quickly followed Alright supergrass is transformed live with full crowd participation, while brooding anthem, Moving and strength of past and present Supergrass singles. Breakthrough single appearance in a strong set charting the many highs of a career that is by no means nearing its end. 4 stars | m.b. guitars has attracted much praise. guitars has attracted bands One of the most consistent have more than around, Supergrass their ten year survived throughout resurgence in rein, gaining a recent Opener, popularity. Money electric the ecstatic audience. The set takes a momentary short break as a lush sofa graces the stage signalling an acoustic set, taking in the excellently executed show jumps a notch of intensity as the electrically charged Stereo On Your charismatic style. One of the many standouts of the evening, . What May st

Carrion Remember Me Remember April th The Spirit of St 3 stars | m.b. 3 stars | m.b to the delightful on deaf ears for the majority of the set the 22-20’s mix of organ and quite lived up to. With a captivated pit audience and an unexpected mosh present, the set momentarily delights from the excellent Louis should have turned out to be a big disappointed was made up in the last epic ten minutes of set, as a giant bear attacked the stage while the band began an impromptu jamming session climaxing with the bear being put to rest by a guitar slap across the face. No one can doubt BSP are an but musically immense live act/show, are let down by the lack of quality material. Supergrass @ Astoria | 1 The one-time darlings of indie, Supergrass celebrate ten years in the business, touring the UK in support of their imminent greatest hits release. Support for tonight’s show came from the exciting 22-20’s. Falling Delays showed their credentials as this Delays showed their act around, catch years freshest new you, they wont them at a festival near disappoint. Shepherds @ British Sea Power Bush Empire | 29 (BSP) hit the road British Sea Power on their biggest headline shows to date. Support came from female vocal led, The Duke Spirit offering their blend of guitar rock, climaxing with The Who like drum scattering signalling the end of the set. With their personal Alan Titchmarsh never too far away the BSP tour may well have caused the destruction of the rainforest, making the stage transform into rural collage including an odd heron. The up beat catapults some life into the show, setting the standard that was never

delays Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ Faded early entrance demonstrates with a pin able the Delays Stay Where You Are Stay Where You No Ending, No Ending,

The University of Surrey Surrey of University The throughout. Excluding the odd shake, Long Time Coming the justified attention gained, with the Delays projecting their sound perfectly copybook gaining comparisons to JJ72 (also with the noticeable absence of a female vocalist). The ravishing for itself. Sitting on the same label for itself. as The Strokes and (Rough Trade) The Libertines, Delays rip up the electronic extraordinaire the set up is composed, little movement, little charisma, letting the music speak shows their no old-fashioned guitar band, with dreamy lyrics, backed up by unassuming accompaniment. Apart from the dancing keyboard/ as the mesmerised crowd marvelled in Greg’s excellent vocal display. Electronic a murmur the Delays go into the chilling to be heard dropping to the floor lifts the tempo with its dream like quality standing tall in the uplifting fifty minute set. With no more than Seaside Glamour nervously began their biggest solo gig to date. Re-released single Nearer Than Heaven chart topping singles has seen the Delays promise much. Showcasing the excellent debut album, Southampton’s finest have begun Southampton’s with their lush to create a bit of stir, vocals and harmonious choruses and Delays @ ULU | 31st March Delays @ ULU gigs galore... m.b. Albums & c: i mus 7 page twentytwo xh . pulled aparttheirpondforthem.Hurrah! boy didwanttojumpin“swimwiththenewts…”)we thrown inforgoodmeasure(notliterally, although alittle few dedicatedschoolparentsandaeagerchildren vaguely agile)ATeam cametotherescue!Alongwitha aged ladieswithbadbacks,themighty(slightlyfitand voluntary schoolstaffteamconsistingofmainlymiddle- beloved pondgotabitneglectedandupset.With playground wasredesigned,andintheprocesstheir school whowereindesperateneedofhelpaftertheir ‘AThe VProject’s Team’ linkedwiththeGuildfordprimary sawing andyanking... (ahem) ‘trainedeye’itis2morningsofstubborndigging, may looklikejustamuddypuddletoyou,butthe (Anneka Riceeatyourheartout)Nowthepictureabove Stoughton InfantsSchooltohaveapondmakeover… These wasjustafewoftheingredientsthatenabled Well anakedpondofcourse! 2 packets ofchocolatebiscuits, 30 What doyougetifcross

volunteers working hard volunteering morningsand sandwiches, the .....1 NakedPond, 1Skateboardand16FantasticVolunteers 16 1 skateboard? spades,

great 12 65 6 saws, UniS students, cupsoftea, 4 UniS&USSUstaff, the nakedpond 32 10 hands, The UniversityofSurrey newts,

adventure 8 to makethepondfeelslightlylessnaked,sopleasedo There willofcoursebePhase3whenweattempt so muchfun–Ican’t waittoseeitfinished.” volunteer commented“wow, Ihategardening–butthisis It wasagreatfuncoupleofmornings,onestudent dedicatedly dugaway. fantastic volunteerssimplydonnedattractivewelliesand attracted afewfriendlynewtsforgoodmeasure,butthe that ithaddecidedtofillitselfupwithmuddywater, and hindered bythepondsomuchwantingtofeellovedagain the excavationbegan!Phase2inMay2004wasslightly pond,and from thesiltofonce-was-probably-lovely dry, thegrassandreedsweredeadverystubborn In October2003Phase1wasexecuted–thepond was usedfortransportingsoiloutofthepondcourse! adventure -wellitmadefriendswithanolddustbinand wondering wheretheskateboardcameintothisgreat get intouchifyouwanttohelpout.Ohandwere muddy wellies! Tel -[01483][68]3254 [email protected] For moreinformation ontheVproject,contact: 7 7 7 xh xh xh . . . Outreach &DevelopmentCo-ordinator Carol Main Person –USSUActivitiesCentre Web -www.ussu.co.uk/volunteering Students’ Magazine|May2004

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7 ussu.co.uk . page twentythree www.ussu.co.uk Hopefully that has whetted your appetite for the new ussu.co.uk. There’s loads of information on it that is guaranteed to help you during so what’re you your time at University, visit waiting for..... words: sarah butterworth is also information of FUSE and id – keep checking back for more! Events The events section is pretty self explanatory – in it you can find out what events are taking place at the University of Surrey Students’ Union. There is also information about signing in guests and much more. One of the main features in the USSU Mailing List, which you can join to find out more about Union Events and what’s going at USSU. Union Services The Union Services section contains everything from the Union Shop to information about Affinity Cards. You can also view an email contact list for all the Officers and staff in the Union, so you know exactly who to contact if you have a problem, comment, or like the an idea of something you’d Union to offer. information on Social Sports Leagues, Sports Leagues, information on Social much much River Sports Day and more... and Development Training and Development section The Training Project, encompasses The DAVE can FUSE and id. You The V Project, points, find out check your DAVE more about what attending a session a involves and even apply to become can also find out trainer yourself! You and how loads about the V Project, There to become a USSU Volunteer. club, or find out how to get involved There is also in something new. issues that affect societies. Soon society webmasters will be able to create their own sub-sections of the societies area, so watch out for more information. Sports The Sports section runs along the same lines as the Societies area - there is information on all the as well as the people clubs at USSU, and other who run sports at Surrey, information that will help you run your life, then head straight to ussu.co.uk. life, then head straight to ussu.co.uk. there, If the information you need isn’t then there are loads of contact details, or you can email the VP Education directly from the site. and Welfare Societies and Activities The Societies section contains everything from the forms you need to fun your group, to photos from various society related events. There is help on filling out all of the society forms, and a forum to discuss various area tells you absolutely everything you need to know about.... well, There is information almost anything. on health, academic problems, getting a part time job, money, housing and much much more. If you need help on any aspect of University Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ April, only a few weeks ago, the University of Surrey Students’ Union relaunched their website, Students’ Union relaunched weeks ago, the University of Surrey April, only a few th

The University of Surrey Surrey of University The Quite possibly the largest and most widely informative section of the site the Support and Wellbeing currently, hundreds of other students about anything and everything! Support and Wellbeing this very magazine! Also in the Media Section you can visit the Bulletin Board and chat to at www.ussu.co.uk/bb to the VP Societies and Culture or VP can also download copies Sports. You of the Guide to Life leaflets, as well as sports club webmasters can download their guide to updating their section of ussu.co.uk – for more details speak how to get involved and chat to others on the GU2 forum. In the website section of ussu.co.uk society and constantly updated www.gu2.co.uk, constantly updated www.gu2.co.uk, where you can find out absolutely can anything to do with GU2. You read about different shows, find out team, submit an article, or just find out how easy it is to get involved. The GU2 section links directly to the barefacts dating back to 1997, read barefacts dating back to 1997, read the latest newspaper online, as well as find out more about the barefacts bf publications (such as this very magazine). In the barefacts archive section you can read issues of Student Media Here you read all about everything that’s at USSU – that media related is, barefacts, GU2, the website and ‘un) to find out exactly how the Union ‘un) to find out exactly how the Union works. information about Union Council, Executive Committee and browse the Constitution (be warned: it’s a long values of the Students’ Union. You Union. You values of the Students’ can find out how to get involved in read the Union as an elected officer, Student Representation section you can In the Representation about the core find out everything haven’t yet visited the new ussu.co.uk, and here is a little bit of a taster of what is in store for you. The website The you. for store in is what of taster a of bit little a is here and ussu.co.uk, new visited the yet haven’t bar underneath the menu. areas, each defined by a coloured is split into eight On 28 fast. if you of information, and is growing currently has over 300 pages The new website www.ussu.co.uk.

the all new... www.ussu.co.uk 7 page twentyfour xh .

by ben berryman interactive interactive pages Something to fill your empty post-exam days: follow the arrows and put in the words. Ferocious Of single Male title monarch Stand-in sausage Running Perform Attempt Cherub Church Ardour Region output sound recess Pizza Beer bird A r r ofish w w o r d Make into Devious cheese Italian purée Cartoon Country Primate Socially papers clumsy News- bear Dairy by- Shoulder Courage Bitumen warmer product Permit Ethic Tree The UniversityofSurrey Reinforced story start ex-colony Once .... Bog fuel Stadium Arabian Mineral Employ deposit a time, Simple statute carrier Brick part, Lip Sale item Tremble minutes Gibson female astray Adult, Actor Light blow Sixty Go ... measure Volume Snoop Lower Sleep Girl’s shirt Vegetable Enclosure keyboard Beaver’s Beaver’s Hickory Church Leer at Novel, Delete home Students’ Magazine|May2004 fresh Ring nut arranged Remain vigour weary Grow Tidily Zest, Charged Sighted Indian Wrath DJ, ... Weep gown atom Limb Tong attention Poison Focus on mountain? Be indebt Sung play Historical Beast of burden period Swiss Flow back Bureau Lair . xh

7 interactive C C A page twentyfive B Liv Tyler Bill Murray Ben Affleck Dan Aykroyd Cameron Diaz Cameron ...... A C C A Sean Bean ...... Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ you fill in the grid? Tom Hanks Tom Matt Damon squares. The letter beside Robin Williams the first of the three letters a row or column indicates

Pierce Brosnan Pierce grid should contain one ‘A’, grid should contain one ‘A’, encountered when going in Each row and column in the answers @ www.ussu.co.uk/7xh Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo

...... the direction of the arrow. Can the direction of the arrow. one ‘B’, one ‘C’one blank two and ‘B’, one The University of Surrey Surrey of University The

Find the films that link the actors below together to complete the circle... Film Full Circle Full Film Something to fill your empty post-exam days: follow the arrows and put in the words. the in put and arrows the follow days: post-exam empty your fill to Something 7 page twentysix xh . photos: chrishunter|text: sarahbutterworth the NUSLobby ofMPs atthe rain takesoneofthebiggest office, spendingthesummer The currentSabbaticalTeam (Chris, Claire,Pete, Sarah& ussu 2003-4 to Blackpoolfortheannual conference oftheNational Chops) begintheiryearin contingents ofstudentsto elected inFebruary, head USSU bravestheLondon training andplanning. The 7NUSDelegates, Houses ofParliament. December 2003 Summer 2003 Union ofStudents. April 2004 End ofYear Show, ahighlight students oncampus,withthe of theUSSUEvents calendar. tickets toevents,Chancellors 107 stallsinthemainUnion food vouchersandavariety Exam fevertakesoverevery year endinginthemassive The UnionShopofficially hamster runatUniSport! resounding success,with alone, andaninflatable 2003-4: AYear inPhotos opens itsdoors,selling September 2003 of UniSmerchandise. Freshers’ Fayre isa January 2004 May 2004 The UniversityofSurrey largest numberofcandidates It’s GraduationBalltime,this It’s of otherstudentsfromacross amount ofentertainments.... and highestvoterturnoutin as London, joiningthousands year completewithfunfair, Surrey studentshitcentral Election feverhitsSurrey, party from7pm til6am! food, drinkandahuge the UKtodemonstrate The BigVote against Top UpFees. February 2004 October 2003 about adecade. June 2004 Students’ Magazine|May2004 sees the Catherine, Ewan,Paintbrush, annual InternationalFestival, Simon andRachel)takeover new SabbaticalTeam (Hash, National StudentJournalism International Exhibitionand USSU andUniSpresentthe The yearisover, andthe with eventsincludingthe Camera Action’ atthe Campaign’ for‘Lights November 2003 for thecoming year... baref Friday nightGala. March 2004 Awards 2003. July 2004 a cts wins‘Best . xh

7 ski report

th round. We round. We May and nd th page twentyseven . [email protected] with near-perfect pistes. As if this with near-perfect agenda enough, the social wasn’t carnage for provided the obligatory any BUSC event. of England, Back to the reality of you are and while the rest the skiing fretting about exams, 8 continues. Saturday Summit we headed off to Wycombe for the Kings Ski Club National The standard of competition Finals. was phenomenal, with Surrey only getting as far as the 2 http://portal.surrey.ac.uk/registry France. It’sFrance. and there’s still snow! Confused? 30 degrees Deux Alpes for another week be heading off to Les will We afternoon, then to take this July to ski the glacier until early sport for the rest of the part in just about every other action Exact dates and prices are to be confirmed, but expect day. The emphasis has previously been on prices to be low. to skip in the park, but this year there are options Freestyle your sanity!) and to the skiing (thought I would question And then to the enjoy a more traditional summer holiday. details visit our web site: For bar... www.surreysnowsports.com consoled ourselves with the fact that we were knocked out consoled ourselves with the fact that off to the Kings 25 by the eventual winners, and headed until dawn. Anniversary Awards Dinner/ball to party worry as it’s don’t missed out? Well, like you’ve Feeling How about a summer not too late to join us this year. in the south of holiday with a difference, skiing in July the ski crew Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ Activities include skiing, street dance, climbing, drama, archery, trips to the cinema and drama, archery, street dance, climbing, Activities include skiing, fencing and many more. Spectrum, totem sculptures, hair & beauty, need reliable, enthusiastic, self motivated individuals to work as supervisors on the We closely with the professional facilitators you will supervise children programme. Working got what it takes and you want three weeks of and help run the activities. If you think you’ve on 01483 444769 for more information. action packed fun, then contact Susan Kelland SUPERVISORS REQUIRED | £6.50-£7 P/H | 26 JULY - 13 AUGUST SUPERVISORS REQUIRED | £6.50-£7 P/H | 26 JULY for children aged scheme being run by Guildford Borough Council FISH is an activity-based 10-16 over the summer holidays. (in the country!), being knocked out (in the country!), being knocked out th For further information about re-enrolmentFor please visit summer holiday with a difference with holiday summer - IMPORTANT NEWS ABOUT PAYMENTS OF STUDENT LOANS - OF STUDENT LOANS NEWS ABOUT PAYMENTS - IMPORTANT by the beginning of September, particularly if you have applied for and are hoping to receive a student loan. particularly if you have applied for and are by the beginning of September, Undergraduate students who apply for a student loan for the 2004/2005 academic year will receive their first Undergraduate students who apply for a student loan for the 2004/2005

at their home addresses at the end of July. It is very important that the re-enrolment form is returned to the Registry at their home addresses at the end of July. instalment via a direct payment to their bank account. Re-enrolment packs will be sent to all undergraduate students

If your home address has changed or you wish to confirm these details please email ug If your home address has changed or you wish to confirm these details The University of Surrey Surrey of University The our contingent were non team members, who came to our contingent were non team members, They were holiday. enjoy the recreational aspect of the and sun, blessed with a fine combination of powder cliffs from which to launch ourselves. members who As always, we like to encourage new This year half necessarily interested in competing. aren’t and misty flips with style. Meanwhile Matt was casually and misty flips with style. Meanwhile landing it perfectly. making his first attempt at a back-flip, among us Away from the competitions, the adventurous of fresh powder and frequently ventured off-piste in search G events, and to Stav for holding his own in the park G events, and to Stav for holding his and boarders were for the Slopestyle comp. Both skiers finalists nailing 720’s performing death defying tricks, with Surrey finished 5 to Sarah, Mark & must go by the eventual victors. Kudos for their performance in the Giant Slalom and Super Vasco standard of competition this year, standard of competition this year, was never in doubt. A ‘Surrey Pride’ Slalom in which Team Parallel notable result was the Team snow during the day, debauched snow during the day, partying at night. Despite the extremely high UK. The event: BUSC 2004 – the Snowsports British Universities reality Championships. The in the sun and – competing/chilling skiiers travelled to Les Deux Les skiiers travelled to to join over 1500 Alpes, France, around the other students from A of Surrey’s 18 finest This Easter, 7 page twentyeight xh . competing intheweeklyBUSAconferenceleagueshavebeenpromotedandboth Theseachievementshavebeennumerousandwideranging. Anumberofteams sport. Colours Ballisanenjoyableeveningincelebrationofthelastyearsachievements sport attheUniversityofSurreyassuccessfulitis. Indeed everyonewhohasbeeninvolvedwithanyofourvariedclubshelpmake acknowledge. ThisdoesnotmeanthatareanimportantpartofsportatSurrey clubsarehardertoquantifyand Theachievementsofournon-competitive years. Thanks shouldgotoeveryonewhocompetedandhelpedoutoverthelastthree drawn, itisclearthatSurreycanlayclaimtobeingUndisputedF the secondconsecutiveoutrightvictoryoverRoehampton.Withfirstyearbeing ThethirdandalmostcertainlythefinalFederal SportsDaysawSurreyachieve of KirstenLawton fortheOlympicTrampoline Team. also beenimpressiveindividualachievements.Mostnotableofwhichistheselection Badminton Men’s 1 sports Colours Ball2004 st teamandSquashMen’s 1 University ofSurreyTrophy | Warden ofColoursTrophy | Caroline NewmanTrophy | Leggett Trophy | Whitbread Cup| The USSUCup| Gold Award | Barry HitchcockCup| Forger &FirkinTrophy | contribution totheorganisationandparticipationofanumbersports Jarvis ThatcherTrophy | st teamwontheirgroups.Therehave Sussex BitterCup| The UniversityofSurrey the greatestcommitmenttoclubover3years Trophies Awarded Awarded forOutstandingIndividualSportingAchievement Awarded tothe MostOutstandingSports PersonofYear Awarded toMostSuccessfulTeam inlimitedcompetition Awarded totheMostactivenon-competitivesportsclub Anthony Roots (Tenpin Bowling) Kirsten Lawton (Trampoline) ederal Champions. Ben Cross(SubAqua) Awarded totheMalewhohasmadegreatest Arran Wood (Hockey) Awarded forIndividualExcellenceinWomen’sSport Awarded forJointAcademic&SportingExcellence Awarded totheClubMemberwhohasshown Awarded totheMostImprovedClub Awarded toBestAdministered&RunClub Peter Holden Awarded toMostSuccessful Cluboftheyear Trish Davies Trampoline Sub Aqua Sub Aqua Hockey Hockey Students’ Magazine|May2004 . photos: sarahtaylor words: petenichols sports exec . xh

7 sports page twentynine social sports day nichols Lord’s by pete Vs West Indies, Edgbaston Vs West Indies, Old Trafford Vs West Indies Vs West Indies, Lord’s Vs Australia, Brisbane NGLAND NGLAND NGLAND NGLAND E E E E NGLAND Athens, Greece E

: Test, Test, Test, Test, Test, Test, Test, Test, rd st nd th AMES 3 Natwest Series Final, Natwest Series Final, 1 2 4 The All England Championships, Wimbledon, th

G AUGUST th th rd July nd th -26 -29 -16 -23 -2 -4 th th th th st nd th LYMPIC th AUGUST 11 O 12 Cricket: 19 Cricket: JUNE 26 Union: Rugby 21 Tennis: London JULY 8 Cricket: 22 Cricket: 29 Cricket: The third Federal Sports Day was won convincingly Sports Day The third Federal March, Social Sports Day, and in by Surrey in February was fun for all involved, and saw over although very wet, competing in the usual team sports 100 staff and students race, sack race and welly-wanging! as well as three legged 2004

in the GWA Premier Premier GWA the in rd Students’ Magazine | May 2004 May | Magazine Students’ Vs New Zealand, Headingley Vs New Zealand, Trent Bridge Vs New Zealand, Trent Vs New Zealand, Lords Millennium Stadium, Cardiff Vs New Zealand, Dunedin Vs Barbarians, Twickenham Vs New Zealand, Auckland , Coimbra (ko 7:45pm) , Lisbon (ko 7:45pm) , Portugal team finishing 3 finishing team review review st NGLAND NGLAND NGLAND E E E

NGLAND NGLAND NGLAND surrey E E E NGLAND 2004

NGLAND E E July v Switzerland, Coimbra (ko 5:00pm) th Test, Test, Test, URO Test, Test, nd st rd E FA Cup Final, Cup Final, FA 2 1 3 th NGLAND

th E June -4 -14th -24

France v Croatia v th th th nd th th st th th

-7 rd The University of Surrey Surrey of University The 17 21 19 Union: Rugby 12 Football: 13 Cricket: 12th Union: Rugby 3 Cricket: 10 30 Union: Rugby JUNE Cricket: 22 Football: MAY 20 Summer Sports Calendar 2004 Summer Sports achieved varying levels of success in 1 football their men’s the local leagues, league and reaching the cup final. clubs working with UniSport to coordinate a event. high profile American Football, Hockey and Men’s Football each making it through to knockout rounds, and several teams getting promoted. Surrey also hosted the union of example fine a was which competition, trampoline BUSA regional of all things BUSA related, but with only a few conceded walkovers it turned out to be a Fencing, pretty Equestrian, successful season. Badminton, Squash and Golf, all active and having fun! Here’s a brief review of events and successes this year! The BUSA Sports and winter Sports Coordinator team on a competitions steep learning curve started with VP sport at the University of Surrey. Bringing together hundreds hundreds together Bringing Surrey. of University the at sport ability of Surrey students regardless of age, sex, nationality, or gender with a single focus; taking part in sport, being Team Team Surrey is the collective title for everyone involved in sports team visit the all new: www.ussu.co.uk

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