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The Independent Newspaper Serving Notre Dame and Saint Mary's VOlUME 38: ISSUE 118 THURSDAY. APRill. 2004 NDSMCOBSERVER.COM
COUNCIL OF REPRESENTATIVES Members pass constitutional overhaul
article by article, "These costs already exist, and By MATT BRAMANTI One significant point of con replacing them would be frivo Senior Staff Writer tention, however, centered on lous," Ebersol said. "The grand the proposed renaming of the total of costs is not $9,998; it's It came right down to the wire. Student Union Board, Notre $1,517." With lP-ss than an hour Dame's primary programming Flaherty defended his num remaining in their term, mem body. At previous COH meetings, bers, saying they had been thor bers of the Council of some members had expressed a oughly researched. llepresentative.s approved the desire to change SUB's name, "Charlie's underestimating new student union constitution. citing incoming SUB manager this," Flaherty said. "When it's Tlw document. which has been Jimmy Flaherty opposed renam all said and done, that $9,998 in the works all ynar. represents ing the body and saying that any number is realistic." a complete overhaul of Notre change would require expensive He also said the costs of a Dame's student government sys investments in new signs, sta name change would divert tem. tionery and other materials. scarce funds from SUB events. Though the Wednesday Flaherty said the changes would "To throw a name change in •wcning meeting in LaFortune cost nearly $10,000, a figure there is really going to be a was briefly delayed because of a that outgoing SUB manager drawback to the programming," TIM SULLIVANfThe Observer lack of' quorum. members Charlie Ebersol, who supported Brian Coughlin, left, and James Lelto discuss proposed changes approvml the 50-page document the name change, disputed. see COR/ page 8 to the constitution during Wednesday's COR meeting.
Student leaders prepare for turnover Chavez
Istvan, Bell assume White, Moran enter concludes command, work to office armed with fill administration high expectations NDvisit
By ANDREW THAGARD By AMANDA MICHAELS By ANNELIESE WOOLFORD Associate News Editor NcwsWritrr Senior Staff Writer Father Eduardo Chavez, a Though the almost blank Although nearly two priest from Mexico City who staff roster. empty ol1ice and months have passed since served as the postulator for brand new constitution may their election into office, the canonization of Saint s•~em like part of an April Sarah Catherine White and Juan Diego, concludes his Fools' Day prank, for Adam Mary Pauline Moran have visit to Notre Dame today. Istvan and Karla Bell, this is had little time to count the Chavez, who has been no juke. days until officially becoming ordered by the cardinal of After weeks of preparation Saint Mary's 2004-05 student Mexico City to found a and days packed full of meet body president and vice pres Catholic university there. ings and interviews, the two ident. respectively. Tt1eir wait came to Notre Dame in part will linally take office as the is over. to tour the campus and meet new student body president White and Moran acquire with University President and vice president. the positions today as the for Father Edward Malloy. !lis "Excited is the only word to mer administration of action-packed visit also describe what we're feeling Elizabeth Jablonski-Diehl and included presentations to right now. Well, tired might Sarah Brown concludes its theology classes and meet work too, but delinitely excit term. The four women have ings to finalize the transla ed," said Istvan. been working closely since tion of his book titled "EI With approval of the new February to ensure a smooth Encuentro de Ia Virgin de Student Union Constitution TIM SULLIVAN/The Observer transition not only for mem- Guadalupe y Juan Diego." His Adam Istvan and Karla Bell, student body president and vice presi visit was arranged by Father see TURNOVER/page 4 dent, Interview candidates for positions within their administration. see SMC/page 4 Virgilio Elizondo, a visiting theology professor, and the Institute for Latino Studies. "This is my first time here New team takes control of Student Union Board and it surprised me," Chavez said during a Thursday after noon interview with The 2003-04, he expressed confi By CLAIRE HEININGER Observer in which Elizondo dence in his fellow board mem News Editor helped to translate. "My bers - programming director [meeting] with Father Malloy Bridget Meacham. controller Jon After a year when many stu was wonderful." McCarthy and director of opera denl'i equated the Student Union The proposed university, tions Heather Kimmings - to Board name with disappoint called La Universidad restore faith in the SUB brand. ment, new SUB manager Jimmy Catolico Lumen Gentium, "We want to see an increased Flaherty said that accountability named after a Vatican [J con presence and branding of the to the student body will be of stitution placing greater name," Flaherty said. "That's the highest priority when the new problem - a lot of people don't emphasis on the people of Board of Directors takes office God as the Church, is cur associate enough of the things today. rently little more than a we do with the name. vision. Chavez, however, said "That's the lirst thing on our If we're a bigger name on agenda- making sure we're that he hopes to start classes campus, more people want to accountable to the student body in education, history and law get involved." and that we're doing what they initially on the campus of a Flaherty said that student want to sec," Flaherty said. TIM SULLIVANfThe Observer Catholic high school and Despite a lack of big-name SUB officers, left to right, Bridget Meacham, Jimmy Aaherty, Jon performers on campus during see SUB/page 6 McCarthy and Heather Klmmlngs pose In their office Wednesday. see PRIEST/page 6 page 2 The Ubserver + PAGE 2 Thursday, April 1, 2004
INSIDE COLUMN QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHAT'S THE FUNNIEST PRANK YOU'VE PLAYED ON APRIL FOOL'S DAY? Hath not a Dotner eyes? Some things used to be common property. It used to be that a writer could make reference to certain great Chris Finch Dawn Parks Joe Barron Jr. Patrick Thornton Sean DITullio Tom Mulcrone works of literature, and be reason Sophomore Senior Junior Sophomore Freshman Freshman ably confident Matthew St. Edwards Fisher Dillon Siegfried that not only Fisher McGlinn would his read Smedberg ers pick up on "Saran '1n grade school, "I convinced my "I was born on "I woke up in "I don't know, his drift. but that News Wrapped [my] my friends and I grandmoml April Fool's Day, the middle of but my brother most of them Production would be able to sister's toilet convinced the was gay. She that always the night and once woke us tell the story he seat at night. " teacher to write went to church gets a laugh. " stole my all up at was referring to. The American out fake to pray for me. " roommate's 5 [a.m.] by general readership knew their stuff. You can't do that anymore. detention slips ladder." running around Shakespeare is not dead, but most for us, which we the house people have never met him. At showed to our yelling 'Fire!'" Notre Dame alone, there are, per formed in the course of a year, parents." sometimes as many as 10 of his plays - but most students will not even see one. And in doing so, they're not merely missing great IN BRIEF drama: they're depriving them selves of a critical library of phras es and ideas central to communica The International Women's tion of great ideas from his day to Club presents a continuation ours. of its annual International There's something special, when Children's Festival today telling your colleagues or friends from 3:30 to 5:30 p.m. at the about an opportunity which would University Village Community be disastrous to miss. to take a cue Center. from Brutus and remind them that "there is a tide." There's a richness Father Thomas O'Meara, of meaning in a reference like that. professor emeritus of theolo There's only one problem- these gy, will deliver a lecture this days, no one knows what it means. afternoon titled "Karl It's not our fault. Blame the Hahner's Influence on Vatican schools maybe. Blame the movies. I II and U.S. Catholicism" on don't personally blame anybody. the occasion of the 1 OOth But that's not to say that it's any anniversary of Hahner's birth. thing but a really sad situation The lecture starts at 4:30 when students at a place like Notre p.m. in DeBartolo 209. Dame have never met some of the most famous words of one of the A panel discussion titled most famous poets in human histo "Women on and off the Career ry. Track" will take place this Now, Shakespeare certainly wrote afternoon at 4:30 p.m. in the a lot of words, and you need a doc Coleman-Morse lounge. The torate to really be familiar with panel will include Colleen anything more than a tiny fraction TIM SULLIVAN/The Observer Meiman, Viva Bartkus, Tricia of them. But there are a few lines Rev. Jim Wallis, a speaker, author and activist, lectures to Notre Dame students Bellia and Cyndi Bergman. and phrases - 50 maybe, maybe and faculty about applying faith to politics. The lecture was titled "How Will You even a 100- without which a Vote? Politics and Values In 2004." A symposium panel will speaker of English is, literally, illit tackle prison sentencing erate. tonight at 6 p.m. in DeBartolo What I mean by this is that litera 141. The symposium, titled cy is as much understanding what OFFBEAT "Does the Time Fit the lies behind an author's words as it Crime? Mandatory Minimum is deciphering symbols on a page Pollee chief sued over chief of Fowler Township was arrested Tuesday Sentencing and the into words and sentences. What is a alleged paddling and also as a full-time morning a few minutes Curtailment of Judicial Dis pound of flesh? Why would an WARREN, Ohio - A police officer in nearby after someone robbed the cretion," will feature John author writing about taxes mention part-time police chief has Howland Township, pend First Commonwealth Bank Martin Jr., a former U.S. dis one? And do business majors really been suspended after a ing investigations by state in Tarentum, about 20 trict court judge, Bill Mateja, learn how to take one? What is a lawsuit accused him of officials and the FBI. No miles northeast of deputy attorney of the U.S. sticking point, and how do I screw assaulting a teenager by charges have been filed. Pittsburgh. Department of Justice and my courage to it? To be, or not to paddling the boy as part of Police said an alarm sys Jimmy, professor at Notre be? a crime diversion program Cops: Man robs banks tem sent a distress call Dame Law School. A recep Sure, Shakespeare has bored high for a speeding ticket. after leaving prison directly to a dispatch cen tion will follow. schoolers ever since they were Carol Woolf of Vienna TARENTUM, Pa. - A ter and helped them forced to sit through classes devot s.aid she initially agreed to man was charged with quickly locate Rokosky, of The Class of 2006 will ed to him. But it would be a tragedy let her 16-year-old son be robbing two banks less Tarentum, and his vehicle, sponsor a rosary recitation - and not one that anyone would paddled, then refused to than one day after getting which matched witness tonight at 9:30 p.m. in the pay to see onstage - to give up on have him return for 14 out of prison for a botched descriptions. Police said Coleman Morse Chapel. all the great stuff that's in his plays more sessions because of 2001 convenience store he also had a note and writings, just because of a few the welts he suffered. robbery in which he held a demanding money from a To submit information to be less-than-stellar moments in high "This child is trauma can of ravioli under his teller. included in this section of The school. tized," Woolf said. shirt to simulate a gun, Observer. e-m ail detailed After all. a twice-told tale may James Martin was sus police said. Information compiled information about an event to still catch the ear of a drowsy stu pended as part-time police Thomas Rokosky, 28, from the Associated Press. obsnews@nd. edu. dent.
Contact Matthew Smedberg at TODAY TONIGHT FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY msmedber@nd. edu. The views 0:: LLI expressed in the Inside Column are ::::c those of the author and not necessari ly those ofThe Observer. ~ LLI 3: ..J CORRECTIONS II( ~ ~ (.) ~ 0 ...I HIGH 42 HIGH 45 HIGH 52 HIGH 58 HIGH 60 HIGH 62 In Wednesday's Viewpoint section the article tided LOW 36 LOW 41 LOW 40 LOW 42 LOW 46 LOW 45 "National defense vs. Education" was written by Brendan M. O'Connor who lives off-campus and nor in Keough Hall. The Observer regrets rhe error. Atlanta 58 I 41 Boston 44 I 38 Chicago 46 I 35 Denver 72 I 38 Houston 79 I 62 Los Angeles 72 1 54 Minneapolis 54 1 30 New York 50 I 39 Philadelphia 49 I 44 Phoenix 87 I 61 Seattle 56 I 40 St. Louis 56 I 36 Tampa 72 I 51 Washington 491 42
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Thursday, April 1, 2004 The Observer + CAMPUS NEWS page 3 STUDENT SENATE 'Wo111en of ND' week Senators hold final meeting pro111otes awareness
ate women involved in political By AMANDA MICHAELS By KATIE LAIRD science or who have a strong News Writer News Writer interest in public service or public policies. As the last Senate ·meeting Notre Dame will host a Later in the afternoon, there before the student government "Women of Notre Dame" series were will be a panel discussion turnover, Wednesday's session this week as an effort to pro titled "Women in the was a mix of gravity, levity and mote greater awareness of the Workplace: On and Off the sincerity as senators bid farewell future careers and opportuni Career Track." Viva Bartkus, to their positions and left their ties that exist for women. assistant professor of market final mark on Notre Dame by "Our students, male and ing and a former member of pushing through several resolu female, need strong female role corporate America, will discuss tions. models to help them achieve her personal experiences of In a continuation of last week's their potential," said Julia being in the work place. presentation by Gay/Straight Douthwaite. assistant provost Patricia Bellia, an associate Alliance president Joe Dickmann, TIM SULLIVAN/The Observer of Campus International professor at Notre Dame Law the Senate unanimously Student senators give outgoing president Jeremy Lao a stand Development and a professor in School, used to be an attorney approved the open letter to the Ing ovation during Wednesday's meeting. the department of Romance but later entered academia. Notre Dame administration in Languages and Uteratures. Bellia will discuss the tensions favor of granting United In The Senate also unanimously "The Presidential Pass In The network of professional and problems that women face. Diversity club status. The resolu approved a resolution to send a Review is especially important to women was co-founded in The discussion will take place tion was tabled last week to allow letter to rectors regarding the ROTC seniors, and we want to March of 2000 by Douthwaite from 4:30 to 6 p.m. in the the senators to gauge support completion of rector evaluation give them a good going-ofT party," and Lee Svete, Director of the Coleman Morse lounge. from their respective dorms. forms. Presented by the Lamplota said. " Career Center, as a means to On Friday at 2 p.m. Walsh Dillon senator Jack Laskowitz Committee on Residence Life, the In what student body vice pres celebrate co-education at Notre Hall's south lounge will host a presented a resolution that would letter encourages rectors to have ident Emily Chin called a "light Dame. Funded by the dean of gathering discussing the real serve as a statement from the their RAs hold floor meetings to hearted end to the meeting." sen Arts and Letters, Mark Roach, life experiences of Colleen Senate in favor of the publication emphasize the importance of the ator Brin Anderson presented a and aided with mailing and list Meiman of "The West Wing." of the TCEs. evaluations and oversee their joke resolution that would confer ings by Chuck Lennon, presi Meiman is an alumna who was "We've hit a roadblock in the completion. emeritus status on the Committee dent of the Alumni Association, a White House staffer and process of getting it published, so Pasquerilla West senator Jana on Residence Life. The resolution the program hopes to help worked on Capitol HilL She will this resolution would in essence Lamplota spoke at the open podi was passed - not unanimously women who struggle with their compare the reality of a career say that we're committed to their um for the Committee on -in a roll call vote. careers and family life. It is in Washington with that on tel publication, no matter how long Residence Ufe's drive to publicize sponsored by the College of evision. it takes," said Laskowitz. the upcoming ROTC Presidential In other Senate news: Arts and Letters, the Career "We hope this will be of Student body president Jeremy Pass In Review. Despite eiTorts to + The Ethics Committee present Center and the Alumni great relevance to the student Lao also spoke on the importance move the ceremony to an outside ed their nominee for the Michael Association. population, and that they will of passing the resolution. area, the Pass In Review will J. Palumbo Award in a closed The series opens with a think carefully of strategies "There needs to be a public remain in Loftus this year. session at the end of Wednesday's "Brown Bag Lunch Discussion," they want to pursue," show of student support, because Lamplota said that the committee meeting. which will take place today Douthwaite said. without it, the credibility of all of is putting together an advertising from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. in 131 our eiTorts is gone. We need to campaign to encourage students Contact Amanda Michaels at Decio HaiL This invitation-only Contact Katie Laird at keep this publicized," said Lao. to attend the event. [email protected] event will focus on undergradu- [email protected]
~··,.._Slj- LONDON SUMMER PROGRAMME
INFORMATION SESSION FOR MAY, 2005 & MAY, 2006 ATTEND OUR DROP-IN SESSION ON
THURSDAY APRIL 1, 2004 BETWEEN 5:00- 6:30P.M. 140 DEBARTOLO HALL
LONDON SUMMER· PROGRAMME RUNS FROM MID-MAY TO MID-JUNE page 4 The Observer + CAMPUS NEWS Thursday, April I, 2004
staff positions since Monday, . said that they hope to resolve right away," said Baron . and plan on having the majority the issue of staplers and hole Though Istvan said he knew SMC '"furnover of their team in place by next punches in the computer clus of no great weakness in the continued from page I continued from page 1 week. Upwards of 50 candi ters before the year is up, plan Hallahan-Lao presidency dates, equally dis- on moving for- besides the departure of coming on the eve of the tributed among ward with the Hallahan halfway through the hers of student govern turnover, the pair must be pre class levels, DVD rental area term, he also said that his ment, but for the Saint pared for changes in the organ applied. "I was surprised by in LaFortune administration would focus less Mary's community as a ization of their office and staff. "I was surprised the number of and want to on making changes to student whole. "We're familiar with the pro and pleased by the applications. , explore the government and more on giving "Elizabeth and Sarah posal [which was not passed at number of applica option of getting back to the students. have been very helpful in the timeJ. and the biggest tions," said Istvan. a bus that would For today, the focus remains terms of letting us know changes seem to be the bring "I think this shows Adam Istvan go from campus the aesthetics of the presidency what we need to do at vari ing of the Office of the Student that people want to student body president to popular off. - including a new office at ous points," Moran said. Body President into the Senate, get involved, and campus resi their disposal. "We really have a good and the changing of the Chief of see potential for dence areas on "I can't wait to tear down foundation to build off of. Staff position into the Chief next year's government to Friday and Saturday nights. these posters and put up some Anything that comes from Executive Assistant, which will accomplish some great things." "Our biggest priority is going Metallica and Def Leppard," us will be brand new and be held by Dave Baron," Istvan With the new term starting, to be seeing how the new gov joked Baron. demonstrate what we can said. Istvan and Bell are putting their ernment works and evaluating offer Saint Mary's." Baron, Istvan and Bell have priorities in order so as to most it for any glaring errors, so that Contact Amanda Michaels at By shadowing their pred been interviewing students for efficiently get things done. They we can get changes through [email protected] ecessors at administration and committee meetings, White and Moran feel they have a better understand ing of potential challenges and opportunities that could surface over the next year. They do, however, plan to maintain the priorities list ed on their platform. "I think the biggest chal lenge is making sure that we have an informed per spective when we do come to make decisions," White said. "Now more than ever, I realize how much of a pri ority it is." The pair also credits Jablonski-Diehl and Brown for offering encouragement and advice. Jablonski-Diehl made specific reference to maintaining a presence both on campus and in the local community, Moran said. She added that the two worked diligently to tie up any loose ends before leaving office, enabling an effective turnover. "I think everything they started will be looked at by us, but then again, we're going to add our own per spective and touch to how it will be done," White said. One of the first steps that White and Moran plan to take will be to inform the campus community of their presence. To do so, they anticipate sending newsletters, wear ing nametags and encour aging word-of-mouth con versations. They also look forward to establishing communication with Carol Mooney as she too prepares to assume her new position as President of the College. "I think that, in general, people will be more aware of this switchover than any other in the past, simply because of the high profile election," Moran said. The pair have already interviewed and selected members to serve alongside on Board of Governance. BOG, along with past and Contracts new members of student government, attended its Monthly Bills TalkTracker. annual retreat last week • PREPAID WIRELESS SERVICE end. Credit Checks "We encouraged everyone NO to embrace the change," White said. Having already worked together as junior class • Unlimited ··_·qhL x. ·., - s president and vice presi • Includes ··!:,;.~~"''"':de ~"':;r:-:J dent and optimistic about the diversification of stu • 500 ,,, m
The Independent Newspaper Mocking Notre Dame and Saint Mary's VOLUME 38: ISSUE -3.14159265358979323846 THURSDAY. APRIL 1. 2004 NDSMCABSURDER.COM UN learns of ND nuclear weapons He can't Program funded with record-high tuition rates live with weapons. Officials believe research by deploying troops to the C lot By RADIOACTIVE LEADER "But then we started looking and development began two and threatening regime News Writer at the tuition increases over years ago when the University change if Polloy didn't resign losing the last few years," chief instituted a new alcohol policy within 24 hours. "We believe The United Nations imposed weapons inspector Duke banning hard alcohol. School the citizens of Notre Dame will sanctions on the University of Nukem said. "That's when officials, speaking on the con welcome us with open arms," Two-time student Notre Dame after weapons everything started to fall in dition of anonymity, said that Bush said. "They need to be inspectors discovered that the place. they hoped more "geeks" liberated from the yoke of body presidential University had created a "There was no way that would come to Notre Dame to tyranny." vibrant nuclear weapons pro much money could be funneled help create the first nuclear Nukem said the University candidate running gram, The Absurder has into education. We narrowed it weapon at a university. decided to develop nuclear learned. down to either paying off the "Screw being the Harvard of weapons in response to the for union head spot Inspectors were initially remainder of Bob Davie's con the Midwest," University massive amount of dorm par shocked that a small private tract or nukes before we saw President Punk Polloy said. ties that kept administrators By H TO THE IZZO University possessed the finan those kids from Zahm. It's "We want to be MIT." from getting a good night's News Writer cial resources and technical quite sad what radiation can President George W. Bush knowledge to develop nuclear do to humans." responded to the U.N. report see NUKES/page 4 Desperate to win an election - any election - Notre Dame jun ior Barley Neversaw announced plans to run for president of the South Bend Teamster's Union Wednesday. WNDU radar discovers life on Mars Neversaw gained notoriety at Notre Dame last month after the student government insider's NewsChopper16 being prepared for interplanetary travel slick campaign and family wealth failed to impress voters during the student body presidential Hditor's Note: This article is the first in a 300 election. part series that only the author. the people he Neversaw hit rock bottom last quotes a11d ge11eral nerds will read. week after suffering a stunning defeat in the race for hall monitor By BRAT SPUMANTE of Miss Cindy's second grade News Writer class at St. Thomas Elementary School. lie lost 20-2 in a race In a stunning coup for weathermen, WNDU that pitted him against 7 -year old chief meteorologist Spike Hoffmann Billy Sinclair. Sinclair attributed announced Wednesday that the station's Live his landslide victory to increased Super Duper Doppler 16 radar has discovered popularity after sticking two intelligent life on Mars. Crayola ''I'm happy to announce we've found Martian crayons up his "/think life," Hoffmann said during a Wednesday tele nose and the cast. "We're not only Michiana's weather fact that his workers leader. but we're top-notch scientists too." opponent is not will see we Hoffmann said the discovery vindicates the actually a have a lot station's decision to install the obscenely member of the expensive 200,000-watt radar tower, which is c I a s s . in common. located at the South Bend Regional Airport. "Barley's a They make "People laughed when I wanted to drop $13 booger head," Hummers./ million on the radar," Boffmann said. "Well. he added. who's laughing now. punks?" Neversaw, drive one." llowever. NASA's top planetary scientist, Ann however, said Tenna. was skeptical about the station's that his loss Barley was due to a announcement. Neversaw "We've spent 30 years looking for little green failure to men. and some Mongoloid weatherman finds relate to the average worker and not nasal them?" Tenna said. "What a load of crap." Courtesy WNDU WNDU officials also revealed they will dis- An artist's rendition of NewsChopper16 hovering about the Martian surface. discharge - something he plans After Live Super Duper Doppler 16 discovered life on Mars, WNDU announced to change in the upcoming the helicopter will fly to the Red Planet for a mission called "MarsShot16." Teamster's election see MARS/ page 3 "I think [Teamster Union) workers will see we have a lot in common," the son of a multi-mil lion dollar MBC executive said. "They make Hummers, I drive Saint Mary's bans students frolll visiting ND one." Notre Dame political science professors and South Bend College president: 'If they don't see us, they can't stereotype us' Teamster Union workers. howev from interacting with those to venture to Saint Mary's er, seemed less optimistic. By ONHERKNESSA people, it will put an end to campus should they feel the "This isn't your grandfather's WHIPCORD the ridiculous and blatant need to do so. Elrond, how union," Irving Tower, a govern News Writer stereotypes that only those ever, acknowledges the reali ment professor, said. "Neversaw's who've barely rounded sec ty of the situation. failure to assuage workers' con In an apparent response to ond base could come up "They've never come over cerns regarding pollution by sup derogatory stereotypes that with. in the past," she said. "Why porting the Kyoto Treaty will exist in the Keenan Revue, "All of our students display would they start now?" inevitably lead to his downfall." Saint Mary's President academic quality and notable This year marked the first Union members were more Larilue Elrond announced character that we as an insti- time that the Keenan rector blunt. Wednesday that the College , tution take pride in," she met with an assessment "The closest think that prissy has placed a ban on all stu added. "What is done behind board before being per boy is getting to a vote from me is dents from crossing the closed doors is their own formed. Although members my foot up his [rear end)." said street - a decision that will business. I didn't hear any at both schools deemed its Barry Simon, a 25-year Union member. Artist Rendering cut the only remaining tie to thing if you didn't." content appropriate. Elrond Saint Mary's plans to Import the Notre Dame. Effective immediately, the said the Revue provides an Great Wall of China to keep Its stu "Thank God," Elrond said. ban will force members of Contact H to the lzzo at dents from coming to Notre Dame. "If our women are cut off the Notre Dame community see EASY/page 5 [email protected] f :J:!]I. , {)r '' : f f · page 2 The Absurder+ PAGE 2 Thursday, April 1, 2004
INSIDE COLUMN QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SCHOLASTIC? Drinnkign siss ggoood Its teh Inside Colulmn, I know, that bringss people to the Absurederer.. They want to read the opieions and advice of the wrters becsause we're all reall, realsly smart. I likes inside Eric Johansen Bob Underwood John Abrams Pumpkin Man Black Lab Teddy Smith Codloijm. And tonite'smy nihgt Sophomore Junior Senior Chief Man's Best Junior to write it bec Keough Hall St. Ed's Hall Off-Campus Vegetable Friend Siegfried Hall sause no one else can and msot of them are atg "Bleeeaaah. " "Bleeeaaah." "Bleeeaaah." . "Bleeeaaah." "Bleeeaaah. " "Bleeeaaah." bars. I was bfe fore but I had to coem home wehn fell down. ow argh uhurt. So Sayla Veeeee now i'm at cop muter writng col- umn. An d I want to tell you Staff Drunk allsabout how insatant messen- ger will be hte downfal fo cvilization. 's bad, AIM. Cause to coem hojme IN BRIEFS form massive harcore funfest ansd then have accesss to all pseoples liek A girl in PE will be taking off especdiall)! ones you really like or her shirt around 9 p.m. teh oness uoyou really hate isnte tonight. Best views can be got good. you typse eveyrthing you thin ten from rooms in Knott Hall. ki abouat them and thens if your An enterprising freshman will mad you say it when if you were be selling tickets at the door for sober prob not. aheha. no good. $5. When b efore peopsle coulsld only drunk dial now tehy can annoy peo Women in Lewis Hall will be pole and casue problems even moer looking at "Cosmopolitan" easierer bescsause the comp can'st from 8 p.m. until midnight talsk backk. well like noet really, tonight in the common room. even htough it mamkes sounlds and Women can bring their favorite lilke doctor opening closing ding ding copies of the magazine and hot ckrash stuff hahs .. THis one time I guys who are willing to take giot rid of those normol sounsd their shirts off are also invited. becasue they were annnoying asnd I masde the compturer mooo like a The men of O'Neill Hall will cow haha. cowe.s. ahha. they be playing video games such hawsve four stomachs or soemthing as Halo all night, until 4 a.m. ansd I wihsh I did insted fo thesm this morning when they will Becasue they onlhy eat grass but I begin doing homework. cuould reasll use all htast room for more vocka. and any uther alcohool, An all-night Pajama Party realsly. ansd quarter dgos. and bor will take place in McCandless racho. Itsall good. i'm borracho. NOTRE DAME PHOTOGRAPHY Newly appointed Executive Vice President Michael Hannigan visits with Father Hall this evening. SMCurity has boraracha. whatever. i studyd in Mark Poorman, vice president for student affairs. Long known as the most Influen been informed that the event is mexico ansd my spansih gets so tial student on campus, Hannigan was an easy choice for the search committee to taking place, so feel free to awedsome when i'm durnk. estudie appoint to replace Father Timothy Scully. A former Knott Hall assistant rector, come and scream your heart en mexico. ocn los mesxcianos. ha. Hannigan holds a bachelors and law degree from Notre Dame and Is a dual-citizen out. muy bien. of Ireland. but i ajm loking b ack at whast I Lyons and Morrissey Halls wroate and i cna'st reasd it so goo d will sponsor a "When the but i thhnk i got off trackl. so any Rectors are away, the resi way my point was htat drunk liMINg BEATOFF dents will play" party all night, is soooooooo bad for coummnuntca until NDSP shows up after an tion. Rjuins relationsihps ansd stuff. Sandlego Identified as official. ed club status, the anal student calls them. Cover We shouslnt' be allowesd on IM key suspect Student constitution on Leprechaun Legion was is $5 and you are free to drink withougt supr.esvison wen wer'e SOUTH BEND - Notre verge of key amedement dispanded after Irish until you puke. wasted. YOu might do stuff liek me Dame Security and Police LAFORTUNE - Student Coach Hike Frey realized snad IM thasat guy lyou like ansd are hot on the trail of the leaders on the Council of that they did nothing to Feminist Carrie Freewoman say i hate hyou because he swas culprit who stole the giant Rejects are close to pass gain student support. The will be giving a lecture on the grinding wiht some other ho girl or ball from the atrium in the ing an amendment to the cheat sheets they distrib vagina tonight in Stepan you rmight IM htat guy rfom class Coleman-Morse Center. student union constitution. uted were too long and Center at 8 p.m. Also, don't whoese screen n arne you have b Based on preliminary The amendment would Irish players did worse at miss out on the Campus edcause your frien gavae it to you evidence, investigators ban gay marriage in all home when they Ministry protest that will take but he dojse'nt know ands normall issued an arrest warrant areas of the world located announced the sixth man place immediately before the you jujst read his away mesages. for the renowned interna above the Tropic of of the Irish as "The event, starting with a rosary at stupid stuipd stupid!. it's all the tional criminal Carmen Cancer. Leprechaun Legion." the grotto at 7 p.m. followed by sfault of IM. we shohld stick to nor Sandiego. But they're not "We feel this is a vital Students cheered loudly at a march to Stepan Center. mal conversaiton and the pjhone to quite sure where she is, issue that students care the announcement, prom save ourselves. bescfsause it's al and effort to capture deep) about," student body ising to put spirit the next The Kroc Institute for Peace about the hhuman contact. Sandiego are so far prov president Kung Pao said. year at an even higher Studies will be sponsoring a Interaction, p eopole. Especially ing futile. Legion disbanded level than it was this year. lecture "The Effect of bonding ovr drinking and at bars. "Where in the world?" JOYCE CENTER Information compiled Expansion on the European mused one top-ranking Shortly after being grant- from Observer writers. And beer poing and cups. Awesome. Union" at 6 p.m. tonight in the So now i gotta go Pas s otu. Hesburgh Center Auditorium. Thansk fofr listneing, you INside Pizza will be provided because Column fairthful followers. Peace outt. tty!. :) the organizers are afraid that if they don't offer food, no one The views expressed in the Inside will come. Column are those of The Observer. since we can't remember which editor Professor of American was too drunk to read this .. Studies Bob Martin will be giv ing a Last Lecture Series talk in the Dillon Hall chapel this ...I evening. To make it more real CORRECTIONS Look people, you live in South Bend. It could be raining one minute, sunny the < istic, organizers will be holding next, snowing in five and thunderstorming by the time you go home. So, wear a g a loaded gun to his head We never make mistakes. Ever. And if we do, we ..J jacket and take an umbrella. The weather is never right here. You should have really don't want to hear about them. Especially learned to be prepared by now. throughout the event. from little runts like you. Call us at 1-4541 to hear If you have interesting things Mr. Garrison from South Park say, "You go to hell. Nobody leaves South Bend and you have the same access to weather.com that we You go to hell and you die." going on. let us know by do, so in the unlikely event that you do leave, look up the weather yourself. e-mailing [email protected]. r THE.ABSURDER
Thursday, April 1, 2004 OINTLESS page 7 \ No more freshman letters Ban sinful Stop. Writing. with each other, since you're all on the same naive level. Freshmen, we know you are shocked that the dining Have a complaint session while you're congregating at hall doesn't serve meat on Fridays, that the University is FlipSide events or while the Legends disco dance parties so repressive it enforces parietals and that the janitor die down during the early hours of the weekend morn poker hasn't cleaned your hall's bathroom in weeks. But we ings. Even better- conduct your rants when you're really don't care. We are already aware locked in place at a dorm room party; the of that, and we've already gotten over it. people around you are trapped there, The You're not telling us anything new, and A bsurder anyway, so they'll be forced to listen. Just we've heard your arguments ten thou leave your elders out of it, because we're playing sand times before. You might as well sign sick and tired of listening to your childish your letters 'Captain Obvious,' because whimpering. you sound like complete tools. The Editorial Face it, frosh, you're the low A new, disturbing trend is sweeping cam Absurder, therefore, has made a merciful ones on the totem pole, and you don't pus and now that the University has eradi decision. one which will benefit both know what you're talking about. If you cated hard alcohol from the dorms. adminis would-be letter-writers and subscribers while bolstering really can't survive without writing letters to The trators need to set their eyes on a new evil: the readability of the Pointless section. Absurder, then send them in- though we've researched gambling. Letters written by freshmen will no longer be published the option, we c:an't prevent you from sending us letters I have been lured into temptation many by The Absurder. If you're not savvy enough to know through e-mail or snail mail. So have a field day, if you times by upperclassmen promising a fun when you're embarrassing yourselves, we, at least, can want; we might look at your letters and laugh, but there game of Texas Hold 'Em. But I always leave save you from your own self-humiliation by refusing to is not a chance under the sun that you will ever see your the table penniless and have lost hundreds of print your inane material. We suggest that, if you need an words in print. dollars in this pursuit. I simply do not have outlet to express your outrage or indignance, you share it It's for the best, children. You'll thank us some day. the willpower to say no to playing these games. And as administrators removed the sinful temptation of hard alcohol from students, they should similarly remove gambling. Please, get out of my way Students should not have to say no to bad things, the administration should make these decisions for students. The simple activity of walking into a building is not athletes five feet away. My voice becomes drowned by As Jesus said in John's Gospel when he something that most people, I think, would consider their joking and laughing. and I remain stuck outside, drove the moneychangers from the Temple, complicated. Most people. however, are jostled around as they do all sorts of secret "Take these things away! Do not make My not petite, five-foot-tall girls, and handshake greetings and high-fives Father's house a house of merchandise." they are not trying to get into and pats on the back. I am forced The administration must act swiftly to DeBartolo. to dodge elbows and knees return the dorms to a place of study and I, on the other hand, and bikes and backpacks, worship and one that is not dominated by am a constituent of and it's horribly fright- evil pursuits. that minority, and ening. I have night walking into mares. Going to Sore Loser DeBartolo is a class, for me, has z.ahm Hall huge problem become traumatic. freshman for me. I physi Therefore, I March 31 cally cannot would like to nice wade through ly ask athletes to Editor's Note: See policy on freshman let the sea of ath be cognizant of the ters to the editor. letes. They are little people like big and scary, me. It might be and they are hard for you to see everywhere. I can't us, but we are there. shoulder past them, Please let us through; it You know what? because my shoulder would make life much eas barely reaches their ier. Thank you. waists. They can't even see You're right me trying to get through, and Midgette Minnieskert In response to Mr. lmright's viewpoint let when I try to shout up to them to politely Badin Hall ter yesterday responding to my letter printed ask them to move, they can't hear me. They arc often Sophomore the day before responding to Ms. Nolife's too engaged in cell phone conversations with other March 31 original letter printed March 19, I would like to say two words: You're right. Imright's arguments were completely flaw less; his persuasive evidence swayed me, and I cannot believe I was ever so stupid to sug gest that the Zahm Winter Carnival is noth ing but a frivolous freak show of animals and For the love of God, shut up already Zahmbies on a cold quad. As Mr. Imright elo quently pointed out, the event is a lively I would like to direct this letter to all engage in prolonged discourse with So for your own good and for ours, exposition of creativity and an invaluable those students who feel the need to the teacher, go for it. But do it on your you mind-numbing, butt-kissing pseu show of school spirit. The carnival is praise talk every five seconds in class- par own time. I'm sick of hearing your do-intellectual dark, try to remember worthy and holds an integral place in the ticularly the kid in my philosophy lec nasal voice babble, and I'm pretty that you're not the professor. Try to Notre Dame identity. ture who apparently has a fetish with sure I speak for the other 150 stu remember that your classmates and I apologize for my faulted comments and raising his liand. You are not interest dents in the lecture hall. too. the teachers themselves would rather ridiculous arguments. To anyone convinced ing. You do not sound smart. You are And one more thing. 1\vo minutes hear the lesson plan than an unedu by my letter: Please disregard it. I was fool an annoying, conceited kiss-up driving before class ends is not an appropri cated personal thesis from you. So be ish and mistaken, and I thank Mr. Imright for everyone else crazy with your attempt ate time to broach the broadest ques quiet, you freakish attention whore, setting me straight. to out-talk the professor. Shut up. tion in existence. No time during class and may God have mercy on your Once again, I was wrong, you were right, As Notre Dame students, we go to is really appropriate for such an irrel soul. and I am grateful to the Pointless section for class to learn - hat is how most uni evant query, but right before class providing an opportunity for personal growth versities work, you sec. We do not go ends is completely unacceptable. Get a Will Ushutupplease and education. Nevva Gonahapen to teach or to voice our own unre clue. It's called common sense. People st:nior Sophomore searched, rambling, idiotic personal will hate you, and a good number off campus O'Neill Hall philosophies. If you feel the need to already do. March 31 March 31
TODAY'S STAFF ABSURDER POLL QUOTE OF THE DAY Annelicsc Woolford Matt Lozar Meghan Martin Sarah Vabulas Will Puckett KC Kenney Megh ------·--- ~----- THE ABSURDER Thursday, April 1, 2004 PORTS page 8 QB hearthrob trades gridiron for runway lunch in North Dining Hall. he's straight! My God, if we could the paper," junior Wynne By SHEILA QUINN "I saw my reflection in a spoon get him, it'd be beautiful." Forgipper said. "I can't get Sports Writer and realized that I'm really, really, But Flynn said he has not yet enough of him!" really, ridiculously good-looking," decided with whom he will sign. Male students agreed Flynn will Encouraged by his popularity Flynn said. "So I decided to do ''I'm not positive what I want to find success but voiced over with the female student popula that for a living - be profession do yet - you know, catalogues, whelming bitterness. tion and disappointed with the ally good-looking - instead of television, runway, etc.," Flynn ''I'm so sick of hearing 'Grady football team's record, quarter playing football." said. ''I'm still exploring my Flynn, Grady Flynn,"' freshman back Grady Flynn announced Prestigious modeling agencies options." Lou Zerr said. "All the girls are Wednesday he will leave the have already started inundating But the women on campus said obsessed with him just because University to pursue a modeling Flynn with offers, clamoring to they believe he will be successful he's supposedly good-looking." career. sign his "tall, dark and handsome in any endeavor. "Whatever happened to nice "It just seems like a better look" and his "big guns," said "Oh my God, he's so hot," said personalities?" said senior Holden choice for my future," Flynn said. Marty Scheisterman of the New sophomore Eileen Onjerzees. Outforluvsky. "Flynn'll do great "I mean, let's look at it logically. York-based modeling agency "He's, like, a mix between Ben because that's all girls care about The football team is far from stel Show It Straight Models. Affleck and Colin Farrell. He's - looks. They don't give a [hoot] Photo courtesy 01 Grady Rynn lar, but hey, the ladies love me." "Who has arms like that? He's a going to be, like, amazingly about what's on the inside." This Irish quarterback will be He said the idea first occurred marketing dream come true - famous." appearing In magazines, but to him on a random Tuesday in all-American, boy-next-door ath "I already have my walls Contact Sheila Quinn at not the Sports Illustrated kind. January, while he was eating lete," Scheisterman said. "And papered with his pictures from [email protected] Alumni: AD is dumb 5-7? Fine by these Letter chastises ND for keeping green jerseys hard-core Irish fans Students who had already By P. 0. MONEYBAGS By ILUV DelRISH grabbed the shirts said they Sports Writer Sports Writer supported Irish Solidarity Day. "All the football players I A group of 57.4 alumni have Several die-hard Notre Dame meet at Finnegan's are really sent a letter to the Board of students declared the Blue nice guys," freshman Jacque Trustees criticizing the athletic Gold game "Irish Solidarity Snifer said. She added, "I don't department for what they called Day" and said they were plan care how bad we are as long as "a decade of stupidity" because ning to hand out kelly-green T Grady Flynn stays nice to look the Irish continue to wear green shirts that said, "5-7? Fine by at." jerseys in key games. me." But other students criticized "That's like the freaking death The group's leaders said they the effort, saying that some sentence," the letter said. "When were upset at the people who times negative reactions are was the last time we won wear kept criticizing the football needed to spark change. ing those things? The stone team for its piss-poor perform "They really need to start a age?" ance last year. constitutional amendment ban The letter writers pointed to "It's really important that we ning being a douchebag," sen the recent struggles of the foot stick behind our team," sopho Photo courtesy of your mom ior Frank Cinic said. "That ball and basketball teams, who more Johnny N. Dame said. would put most of these people are a combined 1-100 when This Penn State player got too close to green jerseys and paid a "After all, they go to class just painful price. Alumni want the Irish to never wear green again. in jail. They're so obsessed wearing green in the last 10 like we do. with everything Notre Dame, years. The lone win came in "Well, most of them do, any they actually cheer on the fenc 2001 when the No. 1 seed seys in a massive bonfire on that Notre Dame teams would way." ing team." women's basketball team beat South Quad, put them in deep continue to use them. Dame said the project origi "That's not true. We have No. 16 seed Alcorn State. storage in Bond Hall, or bribe "*&"%," IrishHomer69 said. nated when he and his buddies limits and ... " Dame said before "Please, that one doesn't NASA to launch them into orbit. "More losing." watched Notre Dame Stadium being interrupted by the sound count," IrishHomer69 said, who "I personally prefer the Bond Black did say at least one good empty when Florida State anni of the Victory March on his cell agreed to speak only if his Hall option," IrishHomer69 said. thing came from the alumni let hilated the Irish last November. phone. Internet name would be used. "A "Nobody ever comes out of that ter. "It just wasn't right," he said, "Gotta go, it's Bob Davie," he tulip had a better chance of building, so we know the jerseys "At least they're off my case "for everybody to run away like said. "He said he wants a shirt. beating a bulldozer." would stay there for a while." about the stupid football team," that. And I got really mad at Something about remembering The letter suggests three Athletic director Beviri Black he said. everybody who started booing his last year as a coach." options to fix the green jersey responded by saying that the too. It hurt my feelings. And I problem. Athletic department green jerseys were an integral Contact P.O. Moneybags at felt bad, imagine how horrible Contact lluv Delrish at officials can burn the green jer- part of Notre Dame tradition and [email protected] the players felt." [email protected] ND moves home games from Joyce, senior citizens revolt "The reception they gave our boys last "We thought there must be some reason afternoon snack of prunes and said they ByU. SHER week was outstanding," he said. "And that the Joyce Center never gets exciting," would try to start a Bingo night at Notre News Writer with Hooters next to the coliseum and he said. "But it turns out our fans here in Dame. beers sold during the game, it will ensure South Bend would rather watch a game on "Bingo, why now that seems like a more A lack of fan excitement at the Joyce that our fans come in excited, are always their fannies than getting up and doing appropriate event for our fan base," Center has prompted officials to move all yelling because they are too drunk to know anything to support the team." Jaleigh said. future basketball games to the Fort Wayne what's going on and will go home happy." Officials at the Sunset Assisted Living The decision to move games will also Coliseum, where last week's game created Notre Dame Director of Ticketing Tim Community, where large numbers of sen decrease the stress on an aging corps of the most excitement in the town since the Jaleigh said that the move came after an iors attended each game, said there was ushers, most of whom were on the waiting 1979 county fair when an elephant got investigation as to whether fans became an attempted mutiny when residents list for Sunset, and were more likely to suf loose. stuck in seats and their voices became heard they would no longer be able to see fer a spell during the game than the aver Irish coach Hike Frey praised the deci muted when entering the Joyce Center, games at the Joyce Center. Staff were able age fan. sion, saying the Fort Wayne arena has a preventing them to stand and cheer for to get residents to return to their rooms crowd energy like no other. their team. when they threatened to withhold the Contact U. Sher at [email protected] FENCING TEXAS HOLD ~EM SCORING SPEU CHECKING BilliARDS DRINKING en w u Irish win national Moneymaker 2 Saint Mary's 130 Grammar 3 If Notre Dame's pool Malloy 6 1-- z title Chan 1 Notre Dame 2 Observer 0 tables in the dorms were Poorman 5 ::5 good, maybe we'd actu- The University's pres- a: c= In related news, a tree Luck continued to The Belles finally find The campus newspa- ally be able to play pool ident can still throw 40s c < fell in the forest and prevail for Moneymaker an athletic endeavor at per continues its mid- well. down, as shown by his didn't make a sound. as he beat Chan by flop- which they can excel. season struggles . crushing victory over a. !; ping five Aces. the ResLife captain. en page??? page 105 page 69 page Shift+F7 page 9 ball page 40 --~------~ ORLD & NATION Thursday, April 1, 2004 CoMPILED FROM TIH OBSERVER'S wrRr SERVICES page 5 INTERNATIONAL NEWS IRAQ World court rules against U.S. TilE HAGUE. Netherlands- The world court ruled Wednesday that the United States Crowd mutilates U.S. bodies violatml the rights of 51 Mexicans on death row to receive diplomatic help. and ordered Washington to revinw their cases. Four U.S. civilian workers killed by roadside bomb, burned, strung from bridge The ruling by the International Court of .Justin~ could mean a reprieve or another chance of appeal for tlw inmates, including Associated Press orw sdwduled to die May 18 in Oklahoma. It FALLUJAII - In a scene also could have implications for other foreign reminiscent of Somalia, dtiwns in U.S. prisons who were not told frenzied crowds dragged tlwy could receive lwlp from their govern the burned. mutilated bod nwnlo;. ies of four American con The order raised questions from the eight tractors through the streets states holding the inmates, but no assur of a town west of Baghdad ances that the states will try to address the on Wednesday and strung court's concerns. two of them up from a bridge after rebels am OPEC to cut crude production bushed their SUVs. VII~NNA. Austria - With fuel costs already Five U.S. soldiers of the at uneomfortabln levels for consumers, OPEC 1st Infantry Division also took a stnp that could push prices even high were killed when a bomb er by announcing Wednesday that it would exploded under their M- cut its crude oil production target by 4 per 113 armored personnel cent. carrier north of Fallujah, Tlw Organization of Petroleum Exporting making it the bloodiest day Countrins hopes the cut, which takes effect for Americans in Iraq since Thursday, will prevent a slide in prices this Jan. 8. spring, when the global demand for oil usu The four contract work ally slips to a seasonal low. ers were killed in Fallujah, Some analysts said the cut could soon push a Sunni Triangle city about crude prices above the psychologically 35 miles west of Baghdad AFP important threshold of $40 per barrel. and scene of some of the An Iraqi throws a rock at a burning car In Fallujah on Wednesday. Angry residents though futures markets fell on Wednesday. worst violence on both mutilated the charred bodies of four Americans killed by a roadside bomb. A Tlw decision could also worsen the pain for sides of the conflict since crowd dragged the bodies through the streets before hanging them from a bridge. U.S. motorists, who have been paying the the beginning of the highest prices in recent years for gasoline. American occupation a charred corpse with a June 30 transfer of sover company was hired by the year ago. metal pole. Others tied a eignty to Iraqis, McClellan Pentagon to provide securi Chanting "Fallujah is the yellow rope to a body, said "the best way to honor ty for convoys that deliv graveyard of Americans," hooked it to a car and those that lost their lives" ered food in the Fallujah NATIONAL NEWS residents cheered after the dragged it down the main is to continue with efforts area, the company state grisly assault on two four street of town. 1\vo black to bring democracy to Iraq. ment said. wheel-drive civilian vehi ened and mangled corpses State Department The abuse and mutilation Rice to face difficult questioning cles left both SUVs in were hung from the green, spokesman Adam Ereli of the contractors' corpses WASIIINGTON - When she testifies before names. iron bridge spanning the said the contractors, all was similar to the scene the commission reviewing the Sept. 11 Residents in Fallujah said Euphrates River. men, "were trying to make more than a decade ago in attacks, Condoleezza Hice will face pointed insurgents attacked the "The people of Fallujah a difference and to help Somalia, when a mob questions about what outgoing Clinton contractors with small hung some of the bodies on others." dragged corpses of U.S. sol administration oflicials told her about terror arms fire and rocket-pro the old bridge like slaugh U.S. officials did not iden diers through the streets of ism - and how urgently the new Bush pelled grenades. After the tered sheep," resident tify the dead or the nature Mogadishu, eventually administration regarded al-Qaida's threat. attack, a jubilant crowd of Abdul Aziz Mohammed of their work because the leading to the American She also may face questions about her civilians, none of whom said. Some corpses were next of kin had not yet withdrawal from the credibility. appeared to be armed, dismembered, he said. been notified. African nation. The images "We want to hear from Dr. Rice ... [about] gathered to celebrate, The White House blamed However, early evidence were broadcast worldwide tlw kind of threats and dangers that were dragging the bodies terrorists and remnants of indicated they worked for and became the subject of apparent to her before 9-11," said Thomas through the street and Saddam Hussein's former Blackwater Security the book and movie "Black Kean, thn Bepublican chairman of the Sept. hanging two of them from regime for the "horrific Consulting, a company Hawk Down." II commission and a former New Jersey the bridge. Many of those attacks" on the American based in Moyock, N.C .. the But Wednesday's images governor. in the crowd were excited contractors. company said in a state of the four civilians killed young boys who shouted "It is offensive, it is despi ment. The security firm in Iraq filled tele Kerry undergoes brief surgery slogans in front of televi cable the way these indi hires former military mem vision screens worldwide BOSTON - Democrat John Kerry had com sion cameras. viduals have been treated," bers from the United StateS' Wednesday but were large plication-free outpatient surgery Wednesday Associated Press Tele White House press secre and other countries to pro ly shunned by American to repair a tear in his right shoulder and visiOn News pictures tary Scott McClellan said. vide security training and television that deemed bicep tendons and will be back shaking vot showed one man beating a Referring to the planned guard services. In Iraq, the them too graphic. nrs' hands soon, although not too forcefully. The four-term Massachusetts senator planned to be o(T the presidential campaign trail for the remainder of the week. Dr. Bertram Zarins. chief of sports medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital, said Kerry PBS marks 35 years of 'sunny days' would be in pain for a few days and probably in need of an ice pack and narcotic painkillers. same, notably the set for the brown "'Sesame Street' grew out of the Associated Press stone apartment building at 123 Great Society programs," says execu NEW YORK - Here's a kids show Sesame St. (as it exists on Stage G at tive producer Lewis Bernstein, refer that still boasts plenty of street cred. Kaufman Astoria Studios in Queens). ring to the Johnson administration's Now beginning its 35th season, Now nearly 35 years old, it should social initiatives. "That was a period STATE NEWS "Sesame Street" remains a daily desti quality for landmark status. when politics, educational needs and nation for millions of preschoolers, an Clearly "Sesame Street" was the social milieu all converged to say, Army ready to destroy nerve gas evergreen cityscape as much a part of designed for the ages by the "urban 'You influence kids at an early age and CLINTON - The Army said it plans to their world as any other play space. planners" at the upstart Children's you can give them the skills they need bt~gin destroying the VX nerve agent at the It's been that way for generations of Television Workshop [now renamed to navigate their way through school Newport Chemical Depot in about two kids, as any of the show's estimated 74 Sesame Workshop]. But the era that and in life."' months regardless of whether it hauls the million "grads" will recall from gave rise to "Sesame Street" remains And, with the civil righL'i movement waste to another disposal site. "Sesame Street Presents: The Street part of its culture. at full throttle, racial equality became The Army could store the hydrolysate - We Live On." This retrospective airs A telling trace lives on in the theme another part of the show's message. tlw caustic byproduct from the neutralized on most PBS stations 8 p.m. EST song: "Sunny day, everything's A-OK." "When I first came here (in 1972) VX - in tanks at the western Indiana site if Sunday, then serves as the season Popularized by pioneers of the U.S. there were a lot of ex-hippies working plans to ship it the waste to New Jersey for opener the next day. space program, the term A-OK is as here with a spirit of Let's Change the final treatment and disposal fall through, Even if you haven't caught "Sesame identified with the 1960s as granny World. Maybe some of us have cut our said Col. Jesse Barber. a project manager for Street" since around the time it pre glasses and tie-dye jeans. hair," Bernstein says with a chuckle, the Army Chemical Materials Agency. miered Nov. 10, 1969, you will be So, perhaps, is the idealism surging "but the passion hasn't changed." Barber fielded questions during a public struck by how things seem much like in those years. Four months before Early on, the "Sesame Street" brand meeting Wednesday at South Vermillion lligh you left them. The Muppets; the "Sesame Street" premiered, that can of passion paved the way to many School in Clinton, north of Terre Haute. diverse community of humans; the let do spirit had helped put the first man kids-show innovations: the racially The Army plans to begin neutralizing the ters and numbers that "sponsor" each on the moon. Likewise, it fueled integrated cast, the inner-city setting, VX at Newport this summer by mixing it with hour. dreams of helping put things right for the fast-paced, bite-sized structure of hot water and sodium hydroxide. Even parts of the 'hood are the the nation's kids. each episode. page 6 The Observer + CAMPUS NEWS Thursday, April 1, 2004 uted to the saint and acting as Flaherty said that after a bridge between the Mexican accountability, the Board Priest Church and the Vatican. SUB intends to stress consistency and continued from page 1 "[Participating in the canon continued from page 1 enthusiasm as its key values. ization process] was the most "We want to get consistency begin construction of the uni beautiful thing in my life," interest has already been with programming - it's not the versity within five yeats. The Chavez said, adding that the encouraging, as the Board has quantity but the quality we proposed university will serve experience reaffirmed his seen a high turnout of over 40 bring in," he said. "We don't the needs of Mexico City's mid decision to become a priest applicants for programming want to bring in one big thing dle and lower class residents, and historian. "Juan Diego was positions on various committees. and then not be able to bring many of whom don't have a man with a sense of great He added that students who are anything else." access to Catholic higher edu humility. [He] put himself total not directly involved with SUB SUB plans to split its big-name cation. At the same time, it will ly in the hands of Our Lady to will also be sought out for input concert budget for two shows, be open to all people regard accomplish a mission." through various surveys, begin with 60 percent spent in the fall less of their economic status. Chavez investigated one mir ning with a campus-wide survey and 40 percent in the spring, Chavez is unsure how the acle in particular that helped through the Office of Flaherty said. A high-profile university will be funded but propel Juan Diego to saint Information Technologies that speaker is also a goal for spring added that he is confidant hood. On May 3, 1990 a young Flaherty said would be sent out semester, as are smaller year everything will come together. man in Mexico City decided to CHUY BENITEZ/The Observer by the end of the semester. round events such as comedi "I don't know [about money] end his life by jumping off a Father Eduardo Chavez poses He stressed that the Board's ans, hypnotists and continuing but I know Our Lady of three story balcony. His frantic In front of a painting deplet use of creative marketing strate concerts at Legends. Guadalupe and God will help mother tried unsuccessfully to Ing Our Lady of Guadalupe gies, such as working closely While he praised the pro us," he said. pull him away but the man Wednesday. with the Hall Presidents' Council gramming that last year's Board Chavez also credited his visit plunged head first into the and improving the SUB website, brought in, especially in the to Notre Dame and meeting pavement thirty feet below, ment. will be essential in increasing spring, Flaherty said that both with Malloy - a man he Chavez said. "It wasn't anything beauti communication and capturing Ebersol and Romero have praised for his sense of humili As her son was falling, the ful," Chavez said. "Most mira attention. assured the new Board that ty - for providing him with a woman cried out to Juan Diego cles are experiences people Outgoing board members more can be done. vision. to save him. The young man want to tell everyone [about] expressed confidence in their "[Ebersol] and [Romero have "For me this University is an remained conscious after the but he was ashamed because successors' training and abili been] very helpful in the transi inspiration," he said. "We need fall and started walking he [had] wanted to commit sui ties. tion," Flaherty said. "We really the big vision and [we] need to around. As he sat down, he cide." "[Flaherty] has a lot of quali want to try to continue and build go step by step ... with a good began hemorrhaging and was Chavez's position as postula ties like me," said former board on that success - understand sense of vision." rushed to a hospital via ambu tor also allowed him to get to manager Charlie Ebersol. "He's ing what they've done well, Chavez also described his lance. know the Pope, a man he going to make a good leader." what this office can do better on, work on the canonization Doctors at the hospital, described as having a certain Former programming director and how we can implement the process of Juan Diego, a 16th including expert neurologists, magnetism about him. Ty Romero said that the new changes that they've started." century Native American who concluded that the man's con "When [His Holiness] smiles executive board would benefit Flaherty reiterated the need many believe witnessed visions dition was terminal and they he looks right into your eyes from inside experience, as for the Board's core principles to of Our Lady of Guadalupe, placed him in a non-critical and your whole soul is McCarthy and Kimmings both be applied to all events in order Jesus' mother Mary, on a hill care hospital ward, presum moved," he said, praising the held the same positions last year to fulfill student expectations. outside present day Mexico ably to die, Chavez said. A few Pope for his devotion to Our and Flaherty and Meacham "If we stick to these ideas of City. days later while Juan Diego Lady of Guadalupe whose worked within SUB extensively. accountability, consistency and Chavez got involved with the was being beatified by Pope image adorns his office and "I think as an outgoing board enthusiasm in all of our pro project by serving on a com John Paul II at the Basilica of bedroom. we're pleased by the fact that gramming we're going to have a mission that extensively Santa Maria de Guadalupe, Chavez flies back to Mexico we had so many people applying lot of success next year." he researched the historical Juan doctors discovered that the this afternoon after a four day to stay on, and also that people said. Diego. Later, Church officials man's cranium had almost visit to Notre Dame. who have been able to watch asked him to serve as postula healed. Three days later he our successes and our failures tor, a position that involves walked out of the hospital, Contact Andrew Thagard at are going to be able to work on Contact Claire Heininger at investigating miracles attrib- never having received treat- [email protected] [SUB] next year," she said. [email protected] INFORMATION MEETING OXFORD PROGRAM JUNIOR YEAR 2005-2006 MONDAY, APRIL 5 6:30pm 102 DeBartolo FOR FIRST YEAR A & LAND SCIENCE COLLEGE INTENTS THE OBSERVER Thursday, April I, 2004 USINESS page 7 MARKET RECAP Stocks Wittenbach faces taxing job Dow 10,355.41 -26.29 jones Veteran COBA professor teaches accounting majors to cut Uncle Sam's share ,4" up: Same: Oown: Composite Volume: Editor's note: This is the said. "I like the planning 2,016 176 • 1,238,580,352 fourth in a Thursday strategies that go into series focusing on inter helping a client." AMEX 1,256.917 +8.19 esting classes in the He said the course aims Mendoza College of to change the perceptions NASDAQ 1,993.51 -7.12 Business. regarding tax preparation. NYSE 6,597.25 +10.62 "A big problem with S&PSOO 1,125.81 -1.19 By MATT BRAMANTI people is they only think NIKKEJ(Tokyo) 11,715.39 Senior Staff Writer about tax planning in +21.71 December or in April," FTSE IOO(London) 4,385.70 -27.10 "Let me tell you how it Wittenbacb said. "They will be." the Beatles sang need to think about it all COMPANY %CHANGE I $GAIN I PRICE in "Taxman." year long." MICROSOFT CP (MSFT) -0.83 -0.21 24.99 "There's one for you, "If you're in business, nineteen for me." taxes are just another cost SIRIUS SAT RADIO (SIRI) +1.81 +0.06 3.37 But that's not the case you need to minimize." INTEL CORP (INTC) -0.91 -0.25 27.18 for students in accountan However, he said that cy professor James minimization can go too CISCO SYSTEMS (CSCO) -2.12 -0.35 23.58 Wittenbach's course on far if professionals do not SUN MICROSYS (SUNW) -0.08 -0.09 4.15 taxation. The course, have a firm ethical foun Treasuries required of accountancy dation. majors in the Mendoza "It basically comes down 30-YEAR BOND -0.85 -0.41 47.77 College of Business, teach to tax avoidance versus I 0-YEAR NOTE -1.67 -0.65 38.37 es students about individ tax evasion," Wittenbach 5-YEAR NOTE -2.52 -0.72 27.81 ual and corporate tax poli said. "We're talking about cies. tax avoidance - limiting 3-MONTH BILL -1.07 -0.10 9.23 Federal Taxation, or just yourself to the legal Commodities "Tax," as the course 'is means of minimizing LIGHT CRUDE ($/bbl.) +0.80 36.25 known to students, taxes." emphasizes the role tax He criticized tax practi GOLD ($/Troy oz.) +4.60 422.80 considerations play in tioners - including major PORK BELLIES (cents/lb.) +0. 925 I 08.20 business decisions. accounting firms - that fxchan Rates Wittenbach said stu have been pushing the YEN I 04.4 dents are able to immedi envelope on tax shelters. ately apply what they "Some of these firms EURO 0.8123 learn in the class. have crossed that magic POUND 0.5419 "Everyone has to do a line .. . and it borders on Photo Courtesy of the Mendoza College of Business CANADIAN$ 1.311 tax return," Wittenbach tax evasion," Wittenbach. Accounting professor James Wlttenbach has taught In said. "Everyone's got a "Some of the firms have the business school for 32 years. Wlttenbach's class neighbor that needs help." gotten flat-out too aggres applies taxation principles to business situations. Students, like senior sive." Kelly Smith, said He said firms selling law one way, the [U.S.] adapt really quickly." IN BRIEF Wittenbach is adept at these tax shelters are _ Treasury will interpret the Wittenbach said. he has bringing realism to the playing "the audit lottery" law another way and the students in his class Factory orders rebound in Feb. classroom. -: betting that their courts will interpret the whose parents' took the WASIIINGTON - America's factories saw "He makes it really rele clients' tax returns will law a third way." same course. orders bounce back a bit in February, a sign vant to the business escape IRS scrutiny. Wittenbach, who has "After 32 years, you that manufacturing is continuing to emerge world," Smith said. "Plus "The chances of getting been a Notre Dame faculty start teaching the children from a three-year slump. he's a really nice guy." audited in this country are member for 32 years, said of students, and that's The Commerce Department reported Wittenbach said that rel pretty slim," he said. he has seen tax laws come been really rewarding for Wednesday that orders placed with factories evance drew him into the However, he acknowl and go during his lengthy me," he said. "I've seen increased by a modest 0.3 percent last month, study of taxatic·n. edged that tax issues are tenure. the link between genera compared with a drop of 0.9 percent in "What attracted me to it not always delineated in "Once you understand tions and how important January. was the consulting nature black and white. the basics of taxation, it that is at Notre Dame." Although February's rebound wasn't as of tax and the ability to "A lot of it is a gray doesn't matter who strong as the 1.5 percent increase economists help a client minimize his area," Wittenbach said. changes the rules," Contact Matt Bramanti at were forecasting, it was still encouraging that or her taxes," Wittenbach "The IRS will interpret the Wittenbach said. "You can [email protected] factory orders managed to recover some ground last month. Demand for "durable" goods- costly manu factured products, including automobiles, household appliances and computers - rose CORPORATE SCANDAL by 2.5 percent in February. Stewart attorney seeks new trial NEW YOHK - Martha Stewart asked for a Tyco jurors focus on theft charges new trial Wednesday, saying one of the jurors who convicted her lied about an arrest on they received. alleged theft, and the two additional Associated Press assault charges. Swartz says a Tyco board member counts refer to the individual Stewart lawyer Hobert Morvillo said in NEW YORK - Jurors in the Tyco asked him and Kozlowski to accept amounts allegedly stolen by papers filed in federal court that he would International corporate-looting trial, the loan forgiveness in partial pay Kozlowski and Swartz. each with the have sought to strike juror Chappell Jlartridge their deliberations on track after ment of bonuses they were supposed other's help. had he known about his past. being nearly derailed by infighting, to receive. Swartz, 57, and Kozlowski, 43, are "These facts, in and of themselves, establish reviewed testimony Wednesday Swartz, the trial's only defense wit charged with 32 counts of grand lar that Ms. Stewart is entitled to a new trial," about millions of dollars in bonuses ness, testified that he and Kozlowski ceny, falsifying business records and Morvillo wrote. and forgiven loans to the company's accepted the offer. He also said he violating state business laws. They former top officers. and Kozlowski did nothing illegal each could face up to 30 years in Big box retailers post Q4 gains Jurors had asked last week to and had received many Tyco benefits prison if convicted. MINNEAPOLIS - The country's two largest review testimony by Mark Swartz, at informal board meetings at which On Tuesday, a defense lawyer electronics n~tailers reported strong quarterly Tyco's former chief financial officer, no minutes were kept. asked for a mistrial and said an earnings on Wednesday, but only one of them but later asked for a delay as their Prosecutors charge that secretly intensely watched juror has been the is happy. deliberations suffered a rancorous forgiven loans and multimillion-dol subject of venomous attacks in A 51 percent earnings jump in the fourth collapse that threattmed to cause a lar bonus grabs were among the Internet chat rooms. quarter capped a "banner year," according to mistrial. ways Kozlowski and Swartz stole Juror No. 4 has been depicted by Best Buy Co. Inc. president Allen Lenzmeicr. Readback of Swartz's testimony $600 million from Tyco when they some news media as a holdout for But at Circuit City Stores Inc., chief executive began Tuesday and resumed were running the company. the defendants' acquittal. Some news W. Alan McCollough said he was dissatisfied Wednesday, with two court reporters Later in the morning, jurors asked media reported that on Friday the with his company's full-year loss of $89.3 mil reading from a thick stack of court in a note for clarification of three 79-year-old woman used her right lion, despite of a 26-percent fourth quarter transcripts. The jurors then began counts that relate to prosecutors' index linger and thumb to make an profit increase that exceeded Wall Street their lOth day of deliberations. charge that Kozlowski and Swartz "OK" gesture at the defense while expectations. In his testimony, Swartz tells of stole $38.5 million from Tyco by dis walking to the jury box. Whether she Best Buy earned $469 million. or $1.42 per conversations with Dennis guising it as forgiveness of a loan. made that gesture, or intended to share, for the fourth quarter ending Feb. 28, Kozlowski, Tyco's former chief exec State Supreme Court Justice gesture at all, was in dispute. up from $311 million, or 96 cents per share, utive. about $37.5 million in forgiven Michael Obus explained that one Obus said he would consider the for the same period last year. loans and $72 million in bonuses "aggregate count" covers the entire Internet matter later. .. ti ~ ..... f > page 8 The Observer + NEWS Thursday, April 1, 2004 Prosecutors focus on GOP discord sidelines highway bill Associated Press Senate passed in February. Alaska, met with lawmakers theft in Nichols trial The administration has pro from "donor" states late in the WASHINGTON -A major posed spending $256 billion, day and agreed the House Associated Press including detonation cord and highway and transit spending up from $218 billion in the last would take up an amendment blasting caps, were stolen from bill temporarily stalled six-year period. that would expand the scope of MCALESTER, Okla the quarry less than seven Wednesday in the House as The status of the bill is "very, those projects covered by the Prosecutors at the murder trial months before the bombing of Republican leaders struggled very tentative right now," said current law's minimum guar of Oklahoma City bombing con the Alfred P. Murrah Federal to deal with a presidential veto Deborah Pryce, R-Ohio, who antee, which is a 90.5 percent spirator Terry Ni.chols used a Building. The quarry was about threat and disunity within their chairs the House Republican return. drill bit Wednesday to try to 25 miles from Nichols' home in ranks. Conference, after a two-hour Young said he doubted that connect him to the theft of Herington, Kan. After hours of closed-door afternoon meeting where GOP they would rewrite anything in blasting caps and detonation Prosecutors say detonation meetings, rank-and-file the bill in the face of the presi cord from a rock quarry. cord and blasting caps were H o u s e members vent dential veto. Two expert witnesses testi among the components of the Republicans ed their com "I don't listen to the presi fied that a bit seized from 4,000-pound fertilizer-and-fuel said they "''m sure that plaints with the dent," Young said. "I just don't Nichols' home after the April bomb that destroyed the feder were ready taxpayers every where legislation. know what the president is 19, 1995, bombing made the al building, killing 168 people. to try again She said going to do. He has to speak distinctive markings found in a George Krivosta, or· the Thursday to would be disgusted to some lawmak for himself." drill hole in a padlock at the Suffolk County Medical pass a six know that every time ers thought the Young and other members of quarry near Marion, Kan. Examiner's Office on Long year, $275 they go to the pump and $275 billion fig his committee sought a much "That was the drill that was Island, N.Y., said he was cer billion bill. fill up their tank, they're ure was too larger bill, of $375 billion, but used," said James Cadigan, a tain the one-quarter-inch drill The veto high, others the White House rejected his retired FBI tool-mark examin bit made the markings "to the threat still funding that it was too proposal to pay for it by raising er. exclusion of any other tool ever loomed, projects like this. " low, while some by gas tax by about five cents. A variety of explosives, manufactured." although raised state His committee said a bill of the main and regional that magnitude would sustain point of dis Rep. Jeff Flake issues. 1. 7 million new jobs over the pute among R-Ariz. A sticking six-year period. lawmakers point in the bill On the other side, fiscal con council members, a victory cigar was how the is the discon servatives condemned the spe COR between his teeth. states would divide up one of tent of some states such as cial interest projects in the bill Outgoing secretary Meg Smith the largest pots of money that Florida that pay more into the that they said would cost bil continued from page 1 praised the new constitution, Washington makes available to federal highway trust fund lions. Taxpayers for Common saying it will improve campus state governments. than they get back from the Sense said the bill was "paved Flaherty said. life. The legislation, which would federal government in grants. with pork," with 3,200 desig Chief of staff Pat Corker char "It's been a lot of work and a spread infrastructure projects The trust fund, paid for by the nated projects, for horse trails, acterized the debate as frivo lot of long hours," Smith said. around the country and create federal gas tax of 18.4 cents auto museums, pedestrian lous. "But in the long run, it will be hundreds of thousands of jobs, per gallon, is supposed to pro walkways and parking, worth "I find it hard to believe that beneficial to the students." is a top legislative priority this vide for all federal highway $9.7 billion. anyone outside this group ... Brian Coughlin, the group's year. But it has faced a rocky grants. ''I'm sure that taxpayers would care what the name is," adviser, praised the council's legislative path, with lawmak The White House also has everywhere would be disgust Corker said. work over the last year. ers seeking more money to raised a veto threat over lan ed to know that every time In the end, council members "The Council of make roads safer and less con guage in the House bill that they go to the pump and fill up voted to change SUB's name to Representatives worked very gested and the administration would reopen it .for further their tank, they're funding the Campus Programming hard," Coughlin said. "They demanding a smaller budget in negotiations in two years if projects like this," said Rep. Council. have a lot to be proud of." the interest of fiscal discipline. Congress fails to enact a law Jeff Flake, R-Ariz. Following that vote, council As he prepared to hand his The White House released a ensuring that every state will House Democrats, while not members approved the remain office over to incoming president statement Tuesday, saying the get back at least 95 cents for involved in the negotiations, ing articles in rapid succession, Adam Istvan, Lao said the con House bill was too costly and every dollar contributed by were generally supportive of making mostly cosmetic changes stitution is an important step in that if it were sent to the presi 2009, the last year of the pro the $27 5 billion bill, said Jim as they went along. the continued progress of stu dent, his advisers would rec gram. Berard, spokesman for Rep. The last section to be dent government at Notre Dame. ommend a veto. The White GOP aides said House James Oberstar of Minnesota, approved was Article I, which "Improving the student union House likewise threatened_ to Transportation Committee top Democrat on the transferred the power to amend will always be an ongoing veto a $318 billion bill that the Chairman Don Young, R- Transportation Committee. the constitution to the Student process," Lao said. Union Senate. Members applauded after the vote, and outgoing student body president Jeremy Lao posed for Contact Matt Bramanti at a celebratory photograph with [email protected] Nows the tinte to get aheadJ catch upJ or just ·take a class for el{joyment- do it for you! ~------ Thursday, April I, 2004 The Observer + NATIONAL NEWS page 9 UW student found in marsh Georgia ban on gay Associated Press called police to report what she living in the area of Seiler's apart thought was a body in the marsh ment. 111arriage approved MADISON. Wise.- A missing less than two miles from Seiler's Seiler was involved in another University of Wisconsin student off-campus apartment. mysterious ineident on Feb. 1, was found alive and healthy Officers with weapons drawn when she was struck from behind Associated Press debate to the civil rights strug Wednnsday in a marsh near cam searched the heavy brush, and a by an unknown assailant and ATLANTA - The Georgia gle. A month later, after heavy pus. four days after she vanL'ihnd helicopter with heat sensors was knocked unconscious, police said. House voted Wednesday to put a lobbying from black clergymen from her nearby apartment with brought in to aid the search. She was then moved about a gay marriage ban in the state and other social conservatives, no coat or purse. Hejoicing residents took to the block from where she was constitution. several of those opponents voted Poliw gave few details on what streets to tear attacked but The 122-52 vote gave final yes, ·giving the amendment the happened to Audrey Seiler and down missing was not sexu approval to an amendment that needed two-thirds majority. would not say whether she had person posters "A lot of people out here ally assaulted will appear on the state ballot One opponent of the measure bmm abducted. But police were in Seiler's home sleep with their doors or robbed, this fall. If voters agree, the called Wednesday's yes votes looking for a man they believed town of open. That's probably authorities state constitution would say "unacceptable." had a gun and a knife in the area Rockford. Minn., said. Georgia will not recognize "This limited the freedom of where she wa..o.; found. a small town not going to happen Police are same-sex unions, even if they're people! That's unacceptable for Seilor. 20, wa..'i treated at a hos about 30 miles much longer, even unsure if there performed in other states. a member of the minority cau pital and released after being west of the 1\vin though it was any con Gay marriage is already ille cus to be limiting freedom of there less than six hours. Dr. Cities. nection gal in Georgia, but the matter is another minority," said Hep. Philip Sehultz said Seiler was cold "Hight now it's happened in Wisconsin." between not addressed in its constitution. Hon Sailor, a minister from and dehydrated and had musde just an unbeliev Seiler's disap Amendment supporters said the Decatur. adws. able feeling," Nate Rivera pearance and law would not prevent a judge But another black lawmaker, Democrat Hep. Handa! "Audrey is doing well. She's said Roman Rockford resident the attack. from allowing same-sex couples happy to be back." said her father, Pierskalla, prin "Audrey was to marry. Mangham, after abstaining from Keith Seil11r. "Needless to say she's cipal of the high worried after "We cannot let judges in the first vote, voted for the thrilled to be horne again with her sehool in Hockford. "Today, the having been attacked and. as a Boston, or officials in San amendment this time. family and friends." prayers of everyone in the result, wa..'i more careful to walk Francisco, define marriage for "I don't appreciate having to The discovery capped an Hockford ~ommunity have been with friends and make sure she the people of Georgia," said GOP explain to my 9-year-old why intense seareh in whieh dozens of answered. was safe," said her uncle, Scott Rep. Bill Hembree, the amend two big husky guys.are kissing," volunteers from Seiler's home Seiler was last seen on a sur Charlesworth-Seiler. ment's sponsor, referring to Mangham said, then added: town sloggp,d through marshes veillance tape from her apart The disappearance had been a other hotspots in the national "God discriminates against the and woods around campus and ment building early Saturday shock to people in Rockford, even debate over gay marriage. act, but he loves the person. I investigators scoured phone morning. She ap-parently left though it happened so far away. The amendment was narrow will continue to protect people records and apartments for any without her ear or any personal "A lot of people out here sleep ly defeated by the Democratic who live that lifestyle." clue into the disappearance. belongings, and her door was left with their doors open," said Nate House last month after breezing In Rhode Island, meanwhile, l'olict1 al'io used dogs, planes and open. Rivera. a supervisor at the Phillips through the Republican-con the debate over same-sex mar boats in the seareh. More than two dozen investiga 66 Quick Shop. "That's probably trolled Senate earlier this year. riage took a personal turn as Officer Larry Kamholz said tors involved in the case are not going to happen much longer, Last time, nearly all black the House majority leader Seiler wa..'i fimnd after an employ reviewing files of sex offenders even though it happened in lawmakers opposed the amend announced publicly that he is ee at a nearby office building and others with a eriminal history Wisconsin." ment, comparing the gay rights gay. Gordon Fox said he's been in a committed relationship for six years and that he supports a bill that would allow same-sex mar riages. Fox, a Democrat, said he had n't planned to make the public announcement, but felt the time was right. "It's an important message to get out," he said. Competing bills have been offered in Hhode Island. One would allow same-sex mar riages; another would define marriage as between a man and woman and make gay mar riages approved in other states illegal. Currently, 38 states have laws that define marriage solely as a TURTLE CREEK APARTMENTS heterosexual institution. HAS SOI\tETHING NEW FOR THE 2004-2005 SCHOOL YEAR! 4 Bedroom Townhome (acco• n•••odates up to 6 people) 2 Full Baths and 2 Half Baths Washer and Dryer in apartment! .P.1.2JJ.S7..':() Covered Carports :ERASMUS BOOKS: I I :• Used Books bought and sold LARGE Fenced in Privac Patio 1• 25 Categories of Books :• 25,000 Hardback and 1 Paperback books in stock :. Out-of-Print search service 1 • Appraisals large and small This new 2400 sq. ft. 4 Bedroom Townhome can OPEN noon to six Tuesday through Sunday accommodate up to 6 people and can be your new home 1027 E. Wayne South Bend, IN 46617 next year! (219) 232-8444 Be the first to live in our new and exciting floor plan! Now Hiring College :di}:···. Students! Cold Stone Creamery Call for details! See Oassifieds or apply online at WNI/I/.coldstonecreamery.com, Turtle Creek Apartments /.. Or contact Ryan Emmer 272-8124 at 277-4912 ----~~------page 10 The Observer + PAID ADVERTISEMENT Thursday, April I, 2004 Coleman-Morse Center 631·7800 Campus Ministry [email protected] campusministry.nd.edu C-M wh t' h · )L -~' ,, ·()' < toda Jj'·1 ~. : ltuesdav t1t.a§~- .-c_o_n_s_i_d_e_r_a_t_io_n_s_._._. ______Halaga "' MusUm Prayer !l ., PFayer From Around the World Series 1 A Qur'an Discussion Rome Underground 7:00 p.m. · 8:oo p.m. l and Conversation Circle 330 Coleman-Morse 6:45 p.m. - 8:oo p.m. I, Meditation Room ... .d 102 Coleman- Morse Upon you I build Gj{!MJ!2 tn Go to www.nd.edu/-nduma/ for Freshman Retreat #53 topics and readings Sacred Heart Parish Center my church Campus-Wide Stations of NDE Retreat #81 the Cross & Sacrament of Fatima Retreat Center ' Reconciliation by Fr. Kevin Russeau, C.S.C. Man's Weekend 7:00p.m. Director, Freshman Retreat Program Meet 3:oopm, McKenna Hall Procession begins @ Grotto Return 12noon on Sunday Campus Bible Study It was only a few weeks ago, the week betore St. Patrick's and St. Joseph's, that we were on 7:oo p.m. ·8:oo p.m. Spring Break. For 40 of us at Notre Dame, Spring Break wok us to Roma Italy! It was not my 114 Coleman-Morse first time to Rome but it will stand out as one of the most memorable for several reasons. Our group was forrunate to have a Scavi tour scheduled during our sray in Rome. The Scavi tour takes us underground the Basilica of St. Peter's and takes us back 2000 years to the sire vvednesday DL.£iL_ where St. Peter was hung upside down on a cross. Our tour guides were seminarians who Interfaith Christian encouraged us to treat the 75 minute rour as a 'miniature pilgrimage.' We began this pilgrimage Night Prayer with scripture: Holy Week Taize Prayer service "Amen, I say to you [Peter], when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where to:oo p.m. you wanted; but when you grow old, you \vill stretch out your hands; and someone else will Coleman·Morse Lounge dress you and lead you where you do not want to go" John 21:18. Under the Basilica of St. Peter's, pre-Christian tombs are revealed; the ancient walls ot~ the Theology on Tap Basilica that Emperor Stump the Priests Constantine had built are to:oo p.m. - 11:30 p.m. unearthed; Christian lenten ReflE!ction As a priest who was ordained just months legends heroes and popes are following 5:15 p.m. BSH Mass buried; and most impres before the sexual abuse cases reached Coleman-Morse Chapel Find the latest on upcoming sive to me lies the bones newspapers across the world, I feared that sunday 04J)4 retreat signups, mass where the Church has schedules and spedal always maintained St. RCIA Morning of Reflection the gates of the ·nether world might have an campus events at ·Peter the apostle was to:oo a.m. - 1:oo p.m. campusministry.nd.edu buried. During World upper-hand. The peacefulness and Coleman·Morse Lounge War II, with much srrife and unrest in Europe, reassurance I felt at St. Peter's bones have scientists and other given me hope and confidence that God professionals studied these lenten reflections bones and determined indeed still provides. .. that they belong ro a A SPECIAL OPPORTUNITY FOR PRAYER robust man from rhe first for faculty, staff and students century. We believe these bones to be the remains of the Prince of the Apostles: Sr. Peter! It's diffictdt to describe the experience of being huddled in small rooms reliving history of DURING THE REMAINING DAYS OF LENT the Church and of Rome. In the last small room, with the help of a red laser-pointer, our pilgrims were able to gaze on the bones of St. Peter. The seminarian read: '/\nd I say ro you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall An invitation to understand the depth of not prevail against it." Mt 16:18. Chills went up and down my arm at these words; God is still God's love and the call to discipleship with us- God cominues ro protect us from evil and guide us back towards holiness! There has been mu~h unrest in the American Church these past years. Differing opinions about how the Church should be governed, what our moral norms should be, and even scandal A 25 minute presentation on the Sunday Scripture fol from some who are supposed to be trusted shepherds. As a priest who was ordained just lowed by twenty minutes of private prayer based on months before the sexual abuse cases reached newspapers across the world, I feared that the points for reflection on the Scripture. gates of rhe nether world might have an upper-hand. The peacefulness and reassurance I felt at St. Peter's bones have given me hope and confidence that God indeed still provides. Next week is Holy Week which leads us to Easter. The Saturday after Easter is the annual The Passion According to luke (Luke 22,14-23, 56) ordination date for the Congregation of Holy Cross. Six men who are brothers to me will be commissioned by the Church minister in the nan1e of Jesus Christ. They will be told to preach with Professor Robin Darling Young the gospel. celebrate the sacraments, reach our to those who are marginalized, and to be faithful men of prayer devoted to their community. Coleman-Morse Chapel God continues to build his Church in extraordinary ways through ordinary people like those men preparing for ordination. 'W'hile we all can spend a lot of time restune-building in other 6:15 pm to 7:15 pm aspects of our lives, we all tend to underestimate our capacities when it comes to living as a disciple of Jesus. Each of us is called like Peter to be a 'rock' in the Church. How is God using mass schedule YOU to build romorrow's Church? What is unearthed in your heart as you listen to God's call? Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion basilica of the sacred heart around campus {every Sunday) Saturday Vigil Mass Sunday NO Spanish Mass this week 7:00 p.m. s:oo p.m. 1o:oo a.m. MBA Mass Rev.Tom Eckert, cs.c Rev.Tom Eckert, c.s.c s:oo p.m. Mendoza COB 11:45 p.m. Law School Mass Faculty Lounge Rev. Peter Rocca, c.s.c Law School Commons 1st:lsaiah so:4-7 2nd: Philippians 2:6-11 Gospel: luke 22:14-23:56 Thursday, April l, 2004 The Absurder+ NEWS page 3 The search continues COBA acquires ND Notre Dame still in $29 billion deal looking for top VP Who said. "It's about time those By WOO KARES Punk Palloy fired as people put down the Odyssey News Writer and started bringing in some Dean V\lho assumes revenue." The University has encoun Among the long-term initia ten~d never-before-seen dillicul DomeCorp presidency tives Who unveiled are plans to tics in hiring a new executive demolish the hamster-powered vice president to replace Father By ADMIN STOGE energy plant at the northern Jim Sully, who resigned from News Writer edge of Notre Dame's campus. the post in May. The College of Science will now Sully resigned arter University be part of a joint venture with President Father Punk Polloy In an unprecedented $8 bil the Nuclear Hadiation Center to told the Board of Trustees he lion· deal, the Mendoza College develop alternative sources of would In avo if Sully didn't. Sully of Business has acquired the power on Notre Dame's cam also was involved in several University, Dean Marilyn Who pus. confrontations, including an announced Wednesda~ The Who said that COBA will incident where he allegedly new organization, to be called begin automating various jobs assaulted WNDU reporter DomeCorp, will be run by at the University, expecting to Connie Strucker who was on Michael Bendovza. reduce the overall work force by campus to cover a Mass for a Who said current University at least 25 percent. Possible president Punk Polloy will be areas that will be eliminated missing student and made the Photo provided nearly-fatal mistake of parking dismissed for what she called include dining hall card Stan and Billy Bob, shown above, are the two candidates the "financial incompetence." swipers, who will be replaced in Sully's reserved space in the University Is considering for executive vice president. There Is South Dining llalllot. "We have to face facts," Who by a Holfs-style swipe machine. a chance that both could share the position. "It has been very difficult to said. "This guy pisses away Additionally, Who said workers lind a candidate will work well Scholastic. According to Mei, abroad - or find a schmuck money like a drunken sailor." who guard the exits to the din with Polloy, is a tea-totaller and Scholastic, which bills itself as a that will do it for a few months If approved by federal regula ing hall will be eliminated, as can control his temper," search bi-weekly magazine, only pub and then step down - so we tors, the deal will mark the the possible Joss of an occasion committee chair Whei Mei said. lishes about once a month. need to capitalize on that." nation's first acquisition of a al ice cream cone did not war No one has been able to pin "They've obviously figured out university by a subordinate divi rant the expense of paying full down exactly who has per something there," he said. In other resignation news: sion. time employees. formed Sully's duties since May. "We've never been able to not Sully's resignation was not the Who said the acquisition will "There are so many jobs that IIQwever, South Bend pet stores do our work like that so we only high-profile priest who left usher in massive changes at the we no longer need a human to did report that University want to know what their secret campus last year. Father Slam university, which had been do and can be replaced by Human Hesources ollicials were is." Smickers, former rector of Sorin under non-COBA control for the machines," Who said. "It was purchasing unusually high num Mei said that he was also Hall, left campus in disgrace last 162 years. nice for the University to employ bers of gerbils. impressed with the leadership after it was revealed he had a "We've already launched many people." Since resigning, Sully has Scholastic showed when select sexual relationship with a stu thorough audits of every depart Who refused to release fur spent a good deal of time in ing its new Editor-in-Chief. dent. Smickers was banned ment," Who said. "We expect to ther details on the acquisition, Chile, where he has helped Unable to choose just one candi from Notre Dame's campus, but trim quite a bit of fat." stating confidentiality agree bring democracy to the country. date. Scholastic chose two, nei has been reassigned to minister Several academic depart ments that had been signed. "Why should I come back to ther of which are presently in to a home for wayward girls in ments have already been She did hint that she would con Notre Dame? Nobody likes me the country. Wisconsin. impacted by the acquisition. sider making an initial public there and in Chile people are "This is a wonderful idea," "We figured that he couldn't Effective today, students in the offering of DomeCorp. stock, but nice to me," Sully said as he Mei said. "We would like our screw them up anymore then Program of liberal Studies will said this would not come for sucked his thumb and clang to a executive vice president to fulfill they already were," Smickers' be put to work in sweatshops, months while extensive bottle of Jack Daniels. a role similar to Vice President superior, who declined to be manufacturing sweatshirts and research was conducted. In an effort to invigorate the Dick Cheney, always being in an named, said. other Notre Dame merchandise. "That whole department was Contact Admin Stoge at search process, Mei said he has undisclosed location. Scholastic [email protected] been contact with members of seems to have found a way to Contact Woo Kaces at what we call a 'cost center,"' the campus magazine, the run their publication from [email protected] NASA astronaut instructor Buzz Machten likewise Mars doubted the station's ability continued from page 1 to pull off the mission, which carries an estimated price patch NewsChopper16 on a tag of $110 billion. mission dubbed "I don't think anyone at SCHOLASTIC "MarsShot16" - to the Red that station has 'the right Planet. The plan is believed stuff' for the rigors of space is seeking a new sports editor to be the first-ever attempt at flight," Machten said. "I interplanetary travel by a mean, these are the same news helicopter. guys who Jet a priest smack Anchor and would-be them around." Qualifications: spaceman Berry Even some WNDU employ Smickfadden will pilot the ees were not convinced about +Must be able to write on a four-month deadline modified Bell Jet Ranger hel the wisdom of the mission. icopter, despite "How can for football stories no flight experi ''I'm a steely-eyed we possibly ence. compete if +Willingness to wear officially licensed paraphana "It's an honor missile man. But I we don't to represent have to admit, I'm have the only lia in the press box NewsCenter16," going to mis my hot news helicop Smickfadden ter in + Casual tolerance for getting scores right said. "Before sister." Michiana?" you know it, the cameraman +Must be willing to work late night production NBC peacock Berry Smlckfadden Arcot Ram a thorn will spread its WNDU choppemaut once a month tail from the asked. "Now Martian sur- the Five face." Degree However, aerospace engi Guarantee is going to rip us a Perks: neering professor Chuck new one!"_ Yeager said the mission was However, students praised + Take your parents to rrcover" away football "doomed from the start," the mission, which will send adding that the helicopter Smickfadden about 80 mil games with you cannot carry enough fuel for lion miles for an exclusive a 90-million-mile journey. interview with the leader of' + Use the Scholastic office to hook up any time "H(l's gonna run out of gas, the Martian race. crash and burn," Yeager ''I'm really excited about after parietals, regardless of state of intoxication said. "I bet they bury him in it," junior Katie-Maureen an Alto ids box." O'McFitzpatrick said, gazing A defiant Smickfadden said skyward. "[Smickfadden I he was fearless in the face of isn't coming back, right?" Apply to one of Scholastic's three editors in chief certain death. ''I'm a steely-eyed missile man," he said. "But I have to admit, I'm going to miss my Contact Brat Spumante at hot sister." [email protected] page 4 The Absurder+ NEWS Thursday, April 1, 2004 Band seeks cool status from almighty Senate "What more do we have to do?" drum By ACCORDION STYLIST mer Stud McMuffin said. "We dance dur News Wrirer ing performances. We even played Mario this year." The Student Senate rejected a petition Senators also pointed out that, since from a group of marching band mem the band members played the Victory bers asking for the Senate to pass a res March but didn't sing it, it was highly olution acknowledging that the band was doubtful that they knew the words to the "cool." Notre Dame fight song since they never "Look, our whole lives we've been had to sing it. "And you have to know shoved in trash cans the fight song to be and made fun of cool," Pangborn sena because we go to band "We're working with the tor E. Z. Lei said. camp," trumpter Ima "What gives you Doork said. "Now that PA announcer at guys the right to we're at college, can't basketball games. We decide who is cool?" we put this behind us want him to say, 'The asked falto Irene and be cool like every Velent. "What do you body else?" oldest band in the land even do anyway?" "No," student body and the coolest!"' "We do lots of stuff," president Kung Pao Pao nervously said, five minutes later, the said. lma Doork Band members Senate passed a two pointed to the fact that trumpeter part proclamation HIP MARKSMAN!The Observer they throw parties just saying that all sena- Band members take a break from practicing, showing that they are never too like everybody else and tors are cool and that busy to be tools. But they aren't cool, according to the Student Senate. get sent to ResLife like everybody else as the Senate does stuff. "And what the hell to reasons why they should be able to, as is a falto?" Pao said. Doork said, "fit in." While band members were disappoint But senators, who alternated between ed with the Senate's decision, they still shooting looks of pity at the less cool and remained optimistic that somebody doing the crossword puzzle, criticized would call them cool one day. the band's party-throwing skills. "We're working with the PA announcer "Look, I went to one of your 'parties' at basketball games," Doork said. "We once," O'Neill senator I.P Freely said. want him to say, 'The oldest band in the "You wimps were only serving Amaretto land, and the coolest!' Sours - and that was at the tuba party. "Then, when all those fans cheer, we'll You didn't even have a stripper. Give me smile because we know we are cool." a break. The Joyce Center PA announcer was "You're not cool. I'm sorry." not available for comment because he This prompted the three glasses-wear was laughing too hard. ing, pimple-faced band members stand ing before the Senate to break down in Contact Accordian Stylist at tears. [email protected] RecSports is expanding it's control on ND Athletics and is MEl E!R looking for students to fill the following positions: 1. Decent Varsity Football Players 2. Persons to burn green jerseys A miUion reasons, 3. Lifeguards a single store. SPIM MACKTAR!The Observer U.N. weapons Inspectors arrived on campus Tuesday to search for Illegal weapons of mass destruction. But. here~s. . three·. . we know that building has . nothing to do with their pro Nukes gram," Nukem said. "But it's Cigarettes, birth continued from page 1 damn ugly. The report also calls for control and booze. sleep. The alcohol policy, he Notre Dame to reduce tuition to said, was just the first step of pre-Industrial Revolution lev cracking down. els. "The only way those kids "Nothing like dropping a low can attend this school in the UNlVBRSlTY OF yield nuclear device in a crowd future is if their parents are E ed room to get those damn kids princes of oil-rich countries," NOTRE DAME, to shut up," vice president for Nukem said. "Oh wait, I guess student affairs Bark Boreman some already are." CIT said. He added that officials The University plans to • were trying to evaluate excuses appeal. NEEDAJOB? to explain how Rally in the "Sure, we'll stop the nuke Alley was broken up with a stuff - we got most of the EYER SEEN A COMPUTER BEFOR well-timed mushroom cloud. partiers out of here anyway," To date, inspectors haven't Polloy said. "But we still need can you feign understanding found any rocket devices that that extra tuition money. could be used to deploy nukes "What am I going to do when with wordy phrases while across the globe. But they cau I need money to throw a keg charging obscene amount s tiously add that they found it ger?" he continued. "I mean, suspicious that the statue of the Board of Trustees is going of money? Mary on top of the Dome was to kill me if I bring Natty Light replaced with a "missile-type" again to our next meeting. And IF SO, THEN YOU SHOULD CALL: device. I'm still holding out hope I can University officials said they get a statue of me on campus 0 FFIC E OF IN COM PETENT plan to appeal the sanctions, somewhere." which include a ban on future TECH NOLOG IES nuclear research and the elimi Contact Radioactive Leader at nation of Stepan Center. "Yeah, [email protected] Thursday, April I, 2004 The Absurder+ NEWS page 5 Excise, Posse bust underagers at Legends Lame-Ass Tavern" citations are rarely By FALLON LEFLOOR issued, but arc reserved in a situation News Writer like this where a minor attempts to The lights came on and the music drink at a respective bar instead of the screeched to a halt. dive establishments they usually fre Excise police had swooped in on quent. another bar frequented by underage "We can't understand it," Bustem students. But this one wasn't owned by said. "Usually underagers go out to get a shady businessman: it was owned by drunk, not to have just have a beer and the University. hook up on University property." Less than one year after being Students generally agreed with this opened, Legends was busted by mem sentiment. bers of Excise Police and the St. Joseph "Man, if I knew that I was going to get County Sheriff's Posse, who cited 45 busted, I would have just gone to Boat students for "Minor in a Lame-Ass Club," he said. "I thought I could drink Tavern" and 16 students for Public safely at Legends, but I should have just Intoxication. got wasted at Boat and taken my While students were used to dealing chances walking back." with Excise Police for previous infrac Excise had been planning the raid for tions, few had ever been arrested by a months with the cooperation of deputy on a horse. University officials. One particularly intoxicated student "I really shouldn't be telling you this, attempted to mount a horse, thinking but the University thought that by bust he was back on his farm on Montana. ing something on their property stu He got pushed off into a pile of horse dents would think that they didn't have manure. anything to do with the other busts," he "What the hell is this?" he asked. "I said. want my mommy." Bustem said that the University could Deputy Bow Rider, on his horse Hung, face a wide variety of penalties for the commented that one officer on horse bust, including the loss of its liquor back can control up to 12 people. license, or a large fine. "We didn't know what we'd encounter "I really don't sec it as a huge loss," here, we didn't know what kind of peo he said. "The University charged too ple would frequent Legends underage," much anyways~ so we are just really he said. "We wanted to prepare for any saving these guys from being sucker skull-duggery that those damn kids punched by the bartender. If you want would present to us." to get drunk, go get some Mad Dog." HIP MARKSMANfThe Observer Lt. Gotta Bustem of the Michigan City The St. Joseph County Sheriff's Posse moves down Juniper Road towards division of the Indiana State Excise Contact Fallon Lefloor at Legends, where they busted underage students for being In a lame-ass club. Police explained that the "Minor in a lefloor.l @nd.edu. Easy continued from page 5 Uisit easy way out - regardless of the fact that it occurred nearly two months ago. "Forget the 'brother school, sister school' pitch we give," she said. "We've been looking to separate ourselves from Notre Dame for awhile now. We're good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people are starting to have heard of us." Students expressed mixed emotions in response to the announcement. "I don't know what to do," said Saint Mary's junior Sasha Faintsalott. "The guys over there are so afraid we're just looking for commitment, there's no way they'll come over. They won't even call. Besides, all of the short skirts I wear come from my friend at Notre Dame. How am I expected to go out on the weekends now if I can't leave to borrow them?" According to senior Allie Optimiste, a 20-foot brick wall surrounding the campus has been added to the College's Master Plan to help enforce the ban. Elrond told her in confi dentiality, she said. "So what if I am loose? I'll only be here for another month, but I want to assure the under classmen that this won't be as bad as it seems," Optimiste said. "The wall can't make things any worse than the South Bend bubble we already live in." Notre Dame students are also confident about the situation and many feel it will bring the two student bodies closer. 'Til help out any Saint Mary's girl," said sophomore Hichard Egoman. "As long as she has a fifth on that side of the wall, I'll show her how to climb over. It can't be any harder than break Open 24 hours ing parietals." Contact Onherkneesa Whipcord at [email protected] page 6 The Absurder+ CAMPUS NEWS Thursday, April 1, 2004 A&L students must Terrorists take over NDTV play hippie sports No one watches broad.cast of their manifesto By TECH GUY News Writer If a tree fell in the forest and nobody was there, would it make a sound? If terrorists took over NDTV to broadcast their manifesto, would any body notice? Not for a while. it seems. A con- cerned citi zen contact ed the St. Joseph County Police at 3 a.m. Sunday morning, saying HIP MARKSMAN/The Observer that a terrorist was on the Students play hacky-sack on the South Quad Wednesday. public access channel. Courtesy of NDTV Students In the College of Arts and Letters are now required to Comcast cable representative Terrorists took over the NDTV to broadcast their manifesto. No take an additional physical education requirement, such as this. Always Down confirmed that one noticed the terrorists until an unsuspecting channel chang it wasn't until the third er saw the terrorists and alerted pollee who freed NDTV. However, some students, like screening of the NDTV show By ARTSY FARTSY architecture major Jim that the problem was first News Writer Vesuvius, criticized the new PE noticed. been locked in for days with have cable and cannot watch classes as "freakin' nutty." ''I'm rather embarrassed out anyone noticing them his show in their room. Reflecting the preferences of "You have got to be kidding about the whole thing." the missing. "If people could just watch its students, the College of Arts me," Vesuvius said from his television viewer, who did not Rather than blaming the us instead of their porn DVDs, and Letters announced windowless cubicle in the base want to be named to save terrorists, NDTVs student it would be so much better," Wednesday that students will ment of Bond Hall. "What's the himself public humiliation. leader !rna Tool was incensed he said. "But nobody wants to be required to take an addition matter, are those interpretive said. "I was surfing channels that no one watched his show watch our show in the lounge al physical education course in dance classes just too tough?'' and there was this and knew and let the rest of the dorm either Ultimate Frisbee or Vesuvius, brandishing an X guy speaking in there was a know that they actually watch hacky-sack. Acto knife, had to be physically some weird lan "If people could problem ear NDTV." Dean Mark Roachclip said he restrained by his fellow archite guage, yelling at just watch us lier. Tool also said that he was expects students will embrace cure majors. the television. It "Those ter considering new methods of the new requirements. Roachclip also said other scared me, so I instead of their rorists actual advertising his show. "Let's face it, changes are on the called the cops. I porn DVDs, it ly seemed "And I'm not advertising students who horizon for the don't normally would be so much pretty nice," with Scholastic anymore," major in PLS or college, Notre watch NDTV, I he said. "They Tool said. "Those ads got us peace studies "I haven't been this Dame's largest. swear." better." were polite no publicity, otherwise we already know fired up since that "Educational The St. Joseph and said that would have been out of there their way around Ralph Nader rally." research shows County Police con lma Tool they hated to days earlier. a Frisbee," that music can be tacted the Notre NDTV Student Leader tie us up, but To prevent further issues. Roachclip said. an effective peda- D a m e they needed Down, the Comcast represen "We might as well Moonbeam Johnson gogical tool, so Security/Police and time to sneak tative. said that an unlucky give them a few Gender Studies major we're issuing organized a raid on the NDTV out of the country before they member of his staff who easy hours." Phish boxed sets studios. a closet in the base could be found. I just can't showed up late to the next Gender studies to every under ment of South Dining Hall. believe that no one watches team meeting would screen major Moonbeam graduate," When they arrived, they our show. They thought · future episodes of NDTV Johnson praised the new class Roachclip said. "Oh man, it's found NDTV's three staff someone would come to free before they went live. es. gonna be awesome." members had been tied up in us quickly." "Wow, that's pretty far out," Some business students said the corner and were suffering Tool lamented the fact that Contact Tech Guy at Johnson said through filthy the changes will further hurt from dehydration, having Notre Dame students do not ,[email protected] dreadlocks. "I haven't been this Arts and Letters students' job fired up since that Ralph Nader prospects. rally." "As if those long-hairs needed But not everyone in the col any help finding the unemploy DON'T DELAY••• lege was quite so enthusiastic. ment line," accountancy stu "The emphasis on physical dent Arthur Deloitte said. COIVIE LIVE WI-IERE YOU PLAY! activity is just another example But Leo Sweaty, director of of our racist, homophobic, phal the Career Center. dismissed locentric culture," said anthro allegations that the college's pology major Tamika Gutierrez changes will reduce graduates' McGoldstein. ''I'm going to chances of employment. report this to the ombudsman "Oh, I think they've pretty ... I mean ombudsperson." much bottomed out," Sweaty And some students. like said, fighting back tears of English major Patty laughter. "I don't think a little O'Phournachure, appeared not Frisbee is going to make a dif to notice the changes. ference." "Huh?" O'Phournachure said SOUIRRTLE CREEK APARTMENTS as she lit an enormous tie-dye Contact Artsy Fartsy at colored bong. [email protected] ~· u..r:iW'OODI (Where the magic Bt..-droorn D happerisj (Crawv 'll'll'indow ...... ~llo...... - ...... -..._ . viewfree!J CJ<*Ot .• :uvu.c ...... Max Capacity: 500 .~· All This can be yours for way more than it's worth! If you're willing to sacrifice personal safety for p ro~mity to campus, then: • .,r r " I f .. l Thursday, April I, 2004 The Observer+ NATIONAL NEWS page II Judge grills doctor on fetus pain Publisher sentenced Associated Press tor a day earlier had testified in New York, San Francisco and that a fetus sometimes does not Lincoln, Neb. Before the start of for spying on Iraqis NEW YOHK- In questioning immediately die after its limbs the New York trial this week, that at times turned graphic, a are pulled off. Casey declined to exclude evi judge deciding the constitution "Simple question, doctor," the dence about fetal pain. Associated Press trial would conclude that Mr. ality of a new ban on some judge told Johnson. "Does it Casey also questioned Dumeisi was a sophisticated abortions grilled a doctor cross your mind?" Johnson about whether physi CHICAGO - A suburban spy," the judge said, character Wednesday on whether a fetus Johnson said it did not. cians warn women that a fetus Chicago newspaper publisher izing his offense as more like feels pain during the proce "Never crossed your mind?" is dismembered during an abor convicted of spying on Iraqi fraud. dures. the judge asked again. tion. dissidents for Saddam Hussein Witnesses said Dumeisi spied The inquiry carne in U.S. "No," Johnson answered. "So you tell her the arms and was sentenced Wednesday to on Iraqi dissidents living in the District Court in Manhattan The exchange touched a key legs are pulled off?" Casey three years and 10 months in United States who were after lawyers on both sides had element of the government's asked. "I mean, that's what I federal prison. opposed to Saddarn's regime finished questioning Dr. Timothy argument that the ban blocks a want to know. Do you tell her?" Khaled Abdel-Latif Dumcisi, and that he forwarded his Johnson, a plaintiff in one of particularly gruesome type of "We tell her the baby, the 61, is expected to be deported information to Iraqi intelli three lawsuits brought to stop abortion that causes pain to the fetus, is dismembered as part of after he finishes his prison gence agents who worked at enforcement of the Partial-Birth fetus and is not needed to pro the procedure, yes," answered term. that country's U.N. mission Abortion Ban Act. tect a woman's health because Johnson, a University of U.S. District Judge Suzanne under the guise of diplomats. "Docs the fetus feel pain?" other options are safer. Michigan professor and B. Conlon also said he may not His tiny suburban newspa Judge Hichard C. Casey asked Abortion-rights advocates and research scientist at the school's re-enter the United States per, AI Mahjar, was full of arti Johnson, saying he had been their physician witnesses say Center for Human Growth and without permission from the cles critical of U.S. Mideast pol told studies of a form of abor the procedure in which the Development. attorney general. icy and praising the Iraqi dicta tion usually performed in the fetus is partially outside the Casey asked Johnson if doc Dumeisi was convicted of tor. second trimester had concluded woman's body before the abor tors tell women that the abor failing to register as a foreign During his weeklong trial in they do. tion is completed is sometimes tion procedure they might use agent, conspiring to fail to reg January, prosecutors presented Johnson said he did not know, the safest option and often pro includes "sucking the brain out ister, lying to a federal grand evidence including a videotape adding he knew of no scientific tects a woman's health rather of the skull." jury and lying to an immigra of Dumeisi giving an anti research on the subject. than harms it. "I don't think we would use tion agent. He was not convict American speech on Saddam's The judge then pressed The constitutionality of the those terms," Johnson said. "I ed of espionage, which involves birthday in which he called the Johnson on whether he ever law, signed by President Bush in think we would probably use a theft of defense secrets, nor Iraqi dictator "our great thought about fetal pain while November after eight years of term like decompression of the was there any allegation the leader" and praised missile p(~rforrning abortions involving congressional research, is being skull or reducing the contents of case involved terrorism. attacks on Israel during the dismemberment. Another doc- decided in simultaneous trials the skull." "I don't think anyone at the 1991 Persian Gulf War. TWO MEN ANDA TRUCK~. "Movers Who Care~" • Residential • Local & long Distance •(ommEmiol • B~s & Pocking Supplies " Padmg S~rvke • Loodina & Urtloodng of • fnsuted & Bor'ided Rental Trucks A~'Oiloble (57tl) 675-9700 www.twomenondcttu-clc:. We are a generation in the making. We can swear now to do whatever possi raising a family. Preacher notes that During these young days in college and ble while we can to keep ourselves and events with this theme, like Theology on in the years soon after, many of us will our friends from repeating destructive Tap discussions have had a huge draw in make pivotal decisions that will set the decisions. We can make progress, espe the past. More events like this could also course for our generation and the next cially here during this time in college. combat the negative dating karma asso one that we will give We can do better at avoiding the com ciated with our community. birth to. The roles Andrew mon follies that are made when young Second, professionals - especially we play particularly DeBerry bliss isn't checked by concerned friends female professionals- could be brought in relationships and or an environment of "smart romance." in to act as mentors and to speak about families will be cru We can drastically mistake the early innovative ways they have found to work cial. Yet, we are ND Changing euphoria in a relationship for everlasting with their spouse and employer to bal inheriting a world Times love. We can feel so much but think too ance family and work. The "Women of from our parents' little. We can make choices in a relation Notre Dame project" already tries to do generation that is ship that commit more than we really just that. marred by growing rates of divorce. intended to give, only to realize our mis Third, we can talk to our parents and Here, our community can assert its take far too late. grandparents more about their love sto power to promote the values that lead to Passionate feelings and physical attrac ries. As we get older, it becomes easier to lasting relationships and families. tion do have a role; they are a must for rediscover a relationship with our par There is a definite place for developing any sustained relationship. But beyond ents as peers. This means finding out family values here at Holy Cross College, this there needs to be an objective, more about our parents than they want Saint Mary's and Notre Dame. These val rational evaluation of compatibility. The ed us to know in the past and learning ues are consonant with the highest ideals importance of dating becomes clearer from their successes and bloopers. of our institutions. If our graduates are to here as it helps refine this integration Fourth, we can find more ways to inte make a difference, then we will stoke our process of heart and mind. grate romance and faith. John and Slyvia concerns about relationships and family. The skills developed in dating become Dillon, who counsel couples getting mar I asked Dean Ava Preacher in the lifelong assets in marriage. Dating helps ried at the Basilica, underscore the College of Arts and Letters about role of us learn about the non-passionate ele results of studies showing that marriages colleges in cultivating family values. She ments of a relationship that can make or have a stronger foundation and lower championed the concept saying, "Higher break a marriage later on. These ele chance for divorce if they incorporate the education is not just about teaching val ments include financial compatibility, elements of an active faith, like compas ues in the abstract, but how to incorpo long-term goals, adaptability, personal sion, listening and forgiveness. rate those values into everyday experi convictions, communication style, time We will soon begin to make the deci ence." management and fighting fairly. sions that will define our generation and Our community already has the values Understanding these areas is worthwhile create the world our children will that create a strong family atmosphere. but it can take a very long time. receive. If we have hopes of making a But do our schools foster the values in Those having flowery, romanticized difference and changing times, we must the students that specifically lead to good perceptions of love can fail to see the be sure to look at ourselves and the val long-term relationships and families? importance of this long-term commit ues we will carry into relationships. Here Wouldn't our time now in community be ment to hard work: Successful relation and now in our community is a perfect an opportune chance to discuss a little ships aren't 50-50. They require 100 per time and place for this growth. more deliberately what has succeeded cent from both people. At times this com and failed in our different family experi mitment can be anything but glamorous. Andrew DeBerry is a fifth-year senior ences? But this love found first in shared sacri majoring in aerospace engineering and In the wake of unprecedented rates of fice will give rise later to shared joy. minoring in Middle Eastern Studies. His failed marriages and split families among So what can we do now to cultivate column normally appears every other our parents' generation, I have hope for values for strong relationships and fami Thursday. He can be contacted at what our generation can do. Many of us lies? adeberry@nd. edu. have felt the sting of our parents' failure. First, conferences, discussions and The views expressed in this column are Our heartbeat echoes the deepest voice dorm presentations could be planned those of the author and not necessarily of our soul: "Never again, never again." around theme of dating, marriage or those of the Observer. LETTER TO THE EDITOR Keep standards of excellence Paul Hornung's recent comments appreciate the revenue generated by also comes from the fact that we win about admissions standards for ath the athletic department. But we must the right way. National Championships letes should be denounced by everyone not forget that this is an institution of at places like Notre Dame and within the Notre Dame community. higher learning first and foremost. Stanford mean so much more because While the racially insensitive tone of While Hornung did not have to rely of that commitment to academics. I those remarks is certainly despicable, on a degree for his profession, he is cringe at the idea of lowering our Que>tiom regarding ObrmJirp11lidtf shoi News Andrew Thagard OBSERVER POLL Mike· Chambliss QUOTE OF THE DAY Matt Bramanti Viewpoint Do you think student government has Lauren Galgano made significant accomplishments this ''Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't Graphics year, and do you think next year's will do be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't Mike Harkins better? know it so it goes on flying anyway." Mary Kay Ash Vote by 5 p.m. Thursday at entrepreneur www.ndsmcobserver.com THE OBSERVER Thursday, April 1, 2004 IEWPOINT page 13 lETTERS TO THE EDITOR Loving all people Showing compassion I think in the whole homosexuality debate, vocal in proclaiming the Church's stance on I am writing in response to Church. It is one thing for Notre we have missed an entire group of people: homosexuality. Allowing events like the Queer Casey Staton's March 30 letter Dame to provide counseling to those with unwanted homosexual tendencies. Film Festival sends the wrong message. to the editor. Staton assumes those who arc feeling homosex These are people who struggle silently without I don't like to be critical, but after reading that by taking a moral and reli ual tendencies, in order to allow anyone knowing what they experience. Maybe up on the Standing Committee on Gay and gious objection to homosexual them to realize the sin inherent he or she lives in your dorm, down the hall, Lesbian Student Needs and going to the panel conduct, that Catholics do not in that activity, but it is another next door - maybe it's you. discussion on homosexuality on March 18, I love those who are inclined thing for the University to How are these people affected by all this have to say that I have lost any faith I had in to homosexual conduct. recognize and give mon talk about homosexuality? Chances are they the Committee's value for helping homosexu We should love all peo etary support to a have no desire to deal with the issue, just like als live chastely as the Church calls them - ple, black, white, het group that believes we all do when we face big problems. We try and all men and women - to do. erosexual, homosex that homosexual to put off confronting them because it's Several of the students on the Standing ual, Catholic, conduct is accept painful. My point is two-fold. First, these Committee are involved with OutreachND - Protestant or able, and indeed, "taboo" tendencies make those who struggle (a.k.a. UID) and the panel discussion, which .Jewish. But that praise worthy. with them absolutely no different than anyone included the Chair of the Standing Committee, docs not mean In the- last few on this campus. We all struggle with various was not about much more than ways to get that we must months, we have issues, and in that sense we are all united UID recognized. condone and seen the Notre united in that we struggle and united despite In response to this situation, there needs to support lifestyles Dame adminis our diverse struggles. Most importantly, be a decent support system specifically for that are inconsis tration wobble in though, we are united as children of a merci homosexuals and those with unwanted homo tent with the its truly Catholic ful and loving God, a God who gives us these sexual tendencies, and it should be organized Catholic Church, stance by allow struggles that we might use them to increase by people unwavering in their Catholic posi nor need we facil ing the Vagina our virtue and eventually emerge from them tion and filled with genuine Christian love. itate people to Monologues, victorious. In closing, I want to say that this letter is not commit sin. Queer Film Festival My second point is that we need to realize about winning any battles with those of differ Yes, ultimately, and non-Christian that homosexuality is an issue that can'tjust ing ideologies. I hope it is clear that what I God will be the judge prayer events to be dealt with in terms of right and wrong. OK, have said and proposed does not stem from of all of us and we invade this campus. the Catholic Church teaches- and I believe simply a moral right or wrong standpoint. should not judge each Notre Dame has found - that homosexual sex is mortally sinful and It should also be said that neither does the other, but neither should we itself in an identity crisis that that homosexual tendencies are not sinful yet Church's view. The Church's teaching on the help, encourage or facilitate has begun to lead it down the still objectively disordered. Some of you dis issue is not an attempt to hinder anyone's others to commit sin. By giving. wide road to meaningless agree. This letter is not going to change your freedom; instead, it is one of radical love for approval to United in Diversity, Catholicism. At least on this mind. all mankind that frees us from our vices that a student homosexual organiza issue, the University has chosen I would ask you though, whatever your posi we succumb to because it's easier that way. tion, the University would be correctly. One can only pray tion, to understand that there are people out Our sins permeate the world and do more doing just that. that the University will realize there- I know some- who have these ten damage than we can imagine. It is easy Catholics should not give this is but the first step to return dencies and who despise them. They deal with enough to see how our greed in the U.S. has money to Planned Parenthood, Our Lady's University to its this issue and fight with it, and they need our spurred others to hate us. Let's begin with should not allow cohabitating Catholic character and mission. support. What they don't need is people ourselves, then, and start making a difference. couples to live in their homes, yelling at them from all sides telling them its pay for women to use contra Courtney Lee Tawresey OK, its not OK, it doesn't matter. That's just Chris Christensen ceptives or support the forma first year confusing. I applaud the University for refus sophomore tion of homosexual clubs that do Law School ing United in Diversity (UID) club status, but I Knoll Hall not support the teachings of the March 31 ask the University to be consistent and more March 31 Defining partisanship A numbers game Mike Marchand's March 29 column falls served our country in ways few have the This past week, The Observer or "imbalanced" departments. short of condemning partisan attacks, well security clearance to know of. He fought has run a series of articles about There is no subjective voice in short. Despite the obvious puns on Dick terrorism on a daily basis for the last four gender and balance in the dif any of these articles. They're all Clark(c), the essay demonstrates his own Presidents, and long before 9/11 drafted a ferent colleges. The main source based on a number game. plight into partisanship. strategy in January of 2001 proposing a for these articles has been data My roommate started off in !low do I define partisans? Those that series of continuous, rolling strikes against gathered by the Office of math but switched to art histo utilize or accept rhetoric and spin in lieu of the terrorist camps in Afghanistan. Institutional Research. ry. Was she threatened by mindful analysis. From such partisans Documentation supports Clarke's asser However, these stories the lack of female co engaging in the "taxpayer-paid character tions on this point and identifies him as have only been cover students or female assassination campaign," to quote Clarke one of the sad few that recognized the ing half the issue. faculty? No. It was -that apparently extends even to our very homeland threat posed by transnati{)nal Numbers only tell hard and she own Observer- the slinging has carefully terrorism. one side of the wanted to culti misrepresented his testimony and writings The 9/11 commission has been charged story, an objective vate her other to create an untrue portrayal. with identifying the series of complex side. By using gifts for inter- After hearing all 2 hours and 40 minutes errors and misjudgments committed prior these numbers pretation and of Clarke's testimony before the 9/11 com to the attacks. Clarke and others who iden to attempt to her love of mission, numerous interviews including tified the threat. for one reason or another make a more studying some "60 Minutes" and "Meet the Press" and -for one President or another- could subjective com thing less objec reading the transcripts of the White Ilousc not break through to the policy makers the ment about gen tive. assault this past week, I believe Clarke urgency of the threat. The unanimous con der imbalance, My father successfully refutes the partisan attacks sensus of those that have access to the con the series of sto started off as an with convincing arguments and facts. gressional reports and testimony of Clarke ries has done an engineer here in I challenge those that arc unable to sepa publicly deny the substance of his critics, injustice to reality. the late seventies, rate their political associations from former Senate Select Intelligence The stories are he graduated with rational judgments to watch his testimony Committee Chairman Bob Graham, for filled with quotes a degree in before the commission. With a surreal example. from students accounting and then patience and poise, Clarke built the case Truly the most detestable element of the enrolled in the particu went on to law school. for his conclusions as to the failures result last week was the blind personal assaults lar colleges telling why lie was forced into engi ing in the 9/11 attacks. llis narrative of on Clarke based upon half-truths and they want to be there. That is neering and hated it. America's modern counter-terrorism cam rumors. Sen. Bill Frist's accusation of per line. But why didn't The There are a myriad of reasons paign provided a rarely heard story of the jury and questioning of Clarke's patriotism Observer ask students why they why students choose one major policy process and a look into the mecha was a deplorable act from a respectable did not choose one college or over another, none of which nisms within White House. man. llow can anyone label a 30-year gov major over another? Why aren't were articulated in the three Clarke's most important testimony was ernment bureaucrat an opportunistic pari all the girls enrolled in English part series of articles this week. not a critique of the War on Terror, it was a ah? It's been said that when you have enrolling in engineering or sci I would recommend asking description of the challenges in the something important to say, write a book. ence? Maybe they just don't classmates why they chose what bureaucratic policy making process to Clark..e had something to say and we should want to. they did and what led them to urgent action. While not suitable for news listen - his position and experience war There are many, ~any factors their major choices, rather than media sound bites, his testimony best rant at least that. that go into choosing a major relying on statistics. explained how from the perspective of a that cannot be revealed by num person who knew the threat of terrorism John T. Long bers or clever pie charts. People Erin Fitzpatrick before the rest of us our government failed senior choose things for many different senior -himself included. off-campus reasons - which I believe have Farley Hall As the head of Counter-Terrorism, Clarke March 31 nothing to do with "gender bias" March 31 ···- -··--- --·-· ------· ---, THE OBSERVER page 14 CENE Thursday, April 1, 2004 ALBUM REVIEW Christian release urges listeners to get 'Happy' The album is a good mix of slow, fast, to God, either way it is a By REBECCA SAUNDERS serious and "happy" songs. beautiful song that pro Scene Music Critic Happy has some good songs, a couple claims, "I don't want to of great songs and a couple of less than let this moment fade Happiness is not quite a virtue, but good songs, but there is not a below away I I want to soak up Matthew West would probably think mediocre song on the album. One of the every single second I I just that it should be. West is a new, up and strongest points of the album is the hit want to fall in love along coming Christian singer/songwriter single "More." "More" is a huge ballad the way I I just want to · who's single "More" is topping Christian that sounds like a Christian hit, and that soak up every single sec charts all over the country. The Chicago is exactly what it has become. With ond I In your presence." singer has been writing songs since col strong and beautiful lyrics throughout Again West finds a way lege and touring for years, but has not the song, "More" is a definitive to express an emotion yet experienced the success he has Christian song. "More" sings of the that would simply leave found with his new album Happy. With unconditional and infinitive nature of others speechless, and he an album cover displaying his feet next God's love. West sings, "I love you more does it all to a great to a pair of feet in clown shoes, West than the sun and the stars I that I melody that will stick in seems to be a genuinely happy guy. His taught to shine I you are mine and you listener's heads for days silly nature shows through in his album shine for me too." There are not many (as soon as "More" gets and his song's messages, yet an incredi ways to say that more eloquently or out of there). bly deep spirituality is also apparent. beautifully, and West certainly sounds Happy also has a good great singing deal of faster, more it. upbeat songs. "The Lie" is Another an impressive, somewhat Happy . huge high rock-infused track that point on the talks about the lies that Matthew West is gaining exposure with his hit album is people tell you, betrayals song "More," the first single off his latest release. Matthew West "Every by friends, etc. "I Can't Second," Hear You" is also a great another track that hits even closer to the rock newest album, is a good listen with Universal South Christian bal genre. "The End" is another song of the some great songs. The lyrics are excel lad, but with a same type with a hint of folk paired lent and worth listening for. The hit Records bit more of a with hopeful lyrics. West sings about "More" is the best part of the album; rock flavor. how bad situations aren't "The End," Happy is not going to blow many away, " E v e r y crooning, "Sometimes it rains all over but it just may make them a bit "happi Second" could your parade I It's like reaching for the er." be interpreted sun and landing in the shade I But it's as a love song, not the end, the end of the world." Contact Rebecca Saunders at or a love song Overall Happy, Matthew West's [email protected] ALBUM REVIEW Notre Dame's own gets 'Shagnasty' of Shags' chops as an entertainer - it a good sense of who Shags By EMILY TUMBRINK is a solid effort from an aspiring rap is and separates him from Assistant Scene Editor per. the herd of other rappers With the help of producer J. Dizzy, a who try to protect their A far cry from other notable "fair friend from Indianapolis, and armed "tough-guy" images. skinned" rappers, including Vanilla Ice, with beats downloaded from the However, after his rela Eminem and Bubba Sparxx, Notre Internet, Shags recorded Stream of tively wholesome introduc Dame's own Brian "B Shags" Conscience by covering his head with a tion, Shags urges us to get Shaughnessy, a resident assistance in towel to block out any background "Shagnasty," with a more Stanford Hall, has already established. noise while saying his rhymes into a upbeat and traditional his reputation through regular mic connected to his computer. pop-rap track. Describing Acousticafe performances. Fans crav On the first track of the album, his music as a "Midwest ing more of this unique artist no longer "Stream of Conscience," B Shags thang," B Shags displays have to wait patiently for Thursday invites listeners to "come spend a day qualities of more radio nights. B Shags has now released his in the shoes that [he's] stepping in," in friendly rappers, including debut album, Stream of Conscience, on order to better understand whom he is lyrics about "sippin' on for his very own label, Tight Yo Records, and why he rhymes. Eschewing the ties" and cars rolling on and has a new album in the works ten stereotypes set by other rap artists, B "dubs," while also main tatively titled Shagglerock. Though Shags acknowledges that he is not a taining his own unique Stream of Conscience cannot quite thug, and claims instead that "God sent (read: preppy white guy) compare to the overall experience of [him] here to love and not to judge." persona. Shags' live performances -just a sign This introductory track gives listeners "All I Need" shows a soft er and more spiritual side of B Shags, and is akin in many ways to "Stream of Photo courtesy of Matt Sart:>anis Conscience." These two 8 Shags gives an impromptu performance in his Stream of Conscience tracks display more hon room, but is also a regular staple of Acousticafe. esty than any of the other songs, and reveal B Shags' own personality and values rather than B Shags debut album, Stream of BShags the emphasis on alcohol, sex and Conscience, possesses many qualities of money found in the lyrics of many of the average Domer. Containing ele his other rhymes. In this track, Shags ments of intelligence, spirituality and gives thanks to God and his family for preppiness with a measure of mild ille Tight Yo Records helping him throughout hfs life, and gal activity all wrapped up in a urging him to be the best person he wannabe thug exterior, the album can be. "What's your life goals? I I was could easily be a candidate for "Best told to set the bar high I I'm trying to All Around." reach the sky and make the stars mine I but only so I can pass 'em along I on to y'all in gratitude for making me Contact Emily Tum brink at strong." [email protected] THE OBSERVER Thursday, April I, 2004 CENE Page 15 INTERVIEW 15 Minutes with Ed from The Darkness Ed Graham plays drums for The Darkness whose debut album Permission to Land currently sits at No. 42 on the Billboard Top 200 charts and whose first American headlining tour is completely sold out didn't realize how big it was going to together and arrange By BRIAN FOY be. it. Scene Writer Can you explain the concept behind Permission to Land the video for "I Believe in a Thing is such an eclectic Are you surprised by your success Called Love"? sounding album, back in the United Kingdom? It's really sort of to interpret it as you what do you attrib It's a long time to come. I think what like. No really, we just like to have fun ute that to? we were surprised by was how we with the videos and say "let's have a That's not really crossed over into the mainstream. We spaceship," "let's have a crab." I don't planned, that's what have a lot of fans that are teenage girls think there's any real hidden meaning. comes out. I think in that like us. I think we always thought We do work with the director and come the future it could be we could be successful, but the surpris up with all these stupid ideas and then even more diverse. ing thing is how we crossed over into he tries to sort of make sense of them People stereotype the pop market as well as rock music. and make stuff happen. and say a lot of Can you compare your success back in Your second video in the United States things about us, but the United Kingdom with how well the for "Love is Only a Feeling" seems to on the actual record States have received you? be a totally different kind its actually quite The thing that surprised of video. What was the diverse. There's dif us is selling out capacity thinking for making a ferent styles of rock venues on our first proper more laid back video? music and I think tour of the United States. I "/ think we always I think because it was we're capable of think once you do the hard thought we could quite a very serious and coming up with stuff work in the United be successful, but sensitive song really with that's more diverse Kingdom then it definitely the words, and people felt than that. helped us here 'cause the surprising that a really crazy video Your EP, which con when we started to do the things is how we wouldn't fit right with it. tained a few of the hard work here we were crossed over into Arc you surprised at the songs off Permission already starting at a high press given to nonmusi to Land, came out In vel. the pop market. " cal aspects of the band? two years ago. Can When you recorded No, not really. That's we expect to hear Permission to Land and "I Ed Graham exactly what we heard in any new songs on Believe in a Thing Called the United Kingdom when the American tour? courtesy of mtv.com drummer Ed Graham, drummer for The Darkness, said the band Love" specifically, did you we first started. It seems Possibly, just before know the album was to be first reaction how we came to America does not feel pressured to perform on Its follow-up. going to be well received we look or the unusual we've been writing. and the single was going ness of Justin's voice. We've got some new songs and for us really good because it's the second to be a smash hit? Did you know after Then further down the line people tend all the songs on the record we played album. More so in the United Kingdom you recorded those that you had a to look a bit deeper and comment on live for months and months before we -the cynical attitude of people. Rather hold of something? other things. recorded them. For us that's the best than being happy for you, people in the I think when we finished the album How do you go about writing music? way to work out if it's a good song or United Kingdom are waiting for you to and looked at it we thought we had Well I'd say Dan and Justin were the not is to play it live. So you might well fall. We're all aware that the next something that could be very success main song-writers, but me and Frankie hear a few new songs on this tour. album has to be really, really good, but ful. But that particular single "I Believe have a contribution. We've actually For your follow-up to Permission to then again we wouldn't release it in a Thing Called Love" was one of the been in a country house in England Land do you feel any pressure or do unless we thought it was really good very first things recorded on the album writing. Dan will often come along with you just let it fly and see what hap anyway. I wouldn't say we felt under - actually in a different session. So I a riff or a piece of music and Justin pens? pressure. think when we recorded that on our tries to come up with melody ideas over I wouldn't say we've felt pressure. We own in a different studio we probably it. Then we'd all sit together or play live are aware of the fact that it has to be Contact Brian Foy at [email protected] · Photos courtesy of mtv.com and thedarknessrock.com Riding the success of Its hit debut album Permission to Land, The Darkness is about to embark on Its first American tour, which is currently sold out. Ed Graham, drummer for the band, told Scene that The Darkness will likely debut some new songs it has been working on for its next album during the tour. page 16 The Observer + CLASSIFIEDS Thursday, April 1, 2004 NBA Ginobili leads Spurs to 107-89 win versus Kings Ginobili answered with his Guard finishes game final basket of the night, the off with 29 points balance bank shot, and the Spurs' defense limited the Kings Associated Press to only one more basket. Stojakovic scored 19 points SAN ANTONIO - Whether he and Doug Christie contributed was slashing inside or pulling up 17 for Sacramento, which is 4-6 outside, Manu Ginobili just in its last 10 games. Chris couldn't miss. Webber, Vlade Divac and Mike San Antonio's reserve guard Bibby all had 14. made his first nine shots in the second half and finished with 29 Tlmberwolves 90, SuperSonics points to lead the Spurs to a 107- 83 89 win over the Western MINNEAPOLIS - Though Conference-leading Sacramento Kevin Garnett remains their Kings on Wednesday night. unquestioned leader, the The victory allowed the Spurs Minnesota Timberwolves derive 'to remain 1 1/2 games behind much of their energy from Midwest Division-leading Latrell Sprewell. Minnesota, which defeated He supplied plenty on against Seattle on Wednesday. San Seattle. Antonio has seven games Sprewell scored 27 points, remammg, while the including six 3-pointers, to help Timberwolves have six. Minnesota hold off Seattle 90-83. "I just let the game come to me "He's a great barometer," AP and when I was open, I shot," Timberwolves coach Flip Sacramento Kings guard Mike Bibby shoots around San Antonio Spurs defender Malik Rose dur said Ginobili, who had only six Saunders said. "Offensively and Ing the second quarter In Wednesday's game. The Spurs won 107-89. points in the first half. "I feel like defensively, the team seems to I'm playing well right now." take his personality a lot." He made all three of his shots Garnett had 27 points, 10 before leaving the game late in want to get to the playoffs," he will be eligible if Utah makes in the third and his first six rebounds and seven assists for the fourth quarter after rolling Carter said. the playoffs, then celebrated by attempts in the fourth, the last Minnesota, which maintained its his left ankle on the foot of Toronto coach Kevin O'Neill, getting the Jazz a little closer. one an off-balance 23-foot bank tenuous lead over San Antonio in Toronto's Jalen Rose. Dampier whose future with the team is Moore scored all 15 of his shot that stopped a late Kings the Midwest Division and stayed on the floor for several uncertain, blamed himself for points in the fourth quarter to rally. remained in the hunt for the top minutes before being helped off the losing, but Rose insisted it's lead Utah past the New Orleans "He was off the charts," San seed in the Western Conference the court. not his fault. Hornets 89-76, taking a slight Antonio coach Gregg Popovich playoffs. "We feel for Damp. He's had "There is a lot of speculation lead in the fight for the final said of Ginobili. "It was obvious "We're not playing a team - such a great year. Right know it's surrounding our team," Rose playoff spot in the Western everything he did was golden." we're playing ourselves, so to premature, but they think he's said. ''I'm disappointed for our Conference. Tim Duncan added 19 points speak," Sprewell said. "We've done for the year," Golden State team and our fans, but I'm very "We have to put a string of for the Spurs, and Bruce Bowen got to go out, play hard and try coach Eric Musselman said. disappointed for K.O., because I games together. We can't wait had a season-high 16 on 7-for- to get wins ... We know what the Dampier can opt out of his feel he deserved better, especial until the last two or three games 10 shooting. Hedo Turkoglu situation is." seven-year, $48 million dollar ly today." and try to make a run. We have scored 14 points and Tony The Timberwolves (52-24), contract after this season, and Rose's two free throws cut to push it right now," said Parker 12. who lead the Spurs by 1 1/2 some have insinuated that he's Golden State's lead to six late in Moore, who didn't know about San Antonio shot a season-best games and trail the Sacramento playing for a new contract. the fourth, but the Warriors his playoff eligibility until just 57.5 percent. Kings by one game in the West "He's done a really good job of responded with a 10-4 run. before the game. "They were hurting us off the race, set a franchise record for upping his value for this coming After Richardson made a layup Moore, who has bounced dribble, they hurt us at the bas regular-season victories. Having summer," teammate Clifford with 2:30 left, Clifford Robinson's around the league as a role play ket," Kings coach Rick Adelman won six of eight and three in a Robinson said. fadeaway jumper made it 77-67 er with five different NBA teams, said. "The three or four times we row, Minnesota appears close to Anthony Johnson raved about with 1:29 remaining. has been with the Jazz on and got in front of Ginobili, he still hit being cured of its recent strug Dampier's season. Carter then missed a driving off since the end of January and the jumper." gles. "He's been playing like one of layup, and at the other end of was not on the roster at the Ginobili, who was also top Sprewell, by no coincidence, the two or three centers in the the court. Golden State's Adona! March 1 deadline. But because scorer in Monday's win over has been playing better lately, game," Johnson said. Foyle grabbed an offensive he was an unrestricted free Cleveland, said the Spurs have too. Jason Richardson had 25 rebound and made a layup, giv agent when he signed again been confounding their oppo points for the Warriors, who ing the Warriors a 79-67 lead March 4, the Jazz said Moore nents by diversifying an offense Warriors 85, Raptors 78 have won eight of nine. with 1:05 left. will be eligible should Utah that had long centered on TORONTO - Erick Dampier's Vince Carter had 22 points for Richardson went 10-for-19 make the playoffs. Duncan. career with the Golden State the Raptors, who were booed off from the field and also grabbed That's still a possibility. "The other team can't focus on Warriors might be over. the court after losing their fifth nine rebounds for the Warriors, The Jazz improved to 39-36 just one guy because we have a Dampier, who can test free straight. who entered the day 5 1/2 games and moved percentage points lot of players that can hit shots agency this summer by opting Toronto remained 3 1/2 games behind Utah and Denver for ahead of Portland (38-36), which and beat you," he said. out of the remaining two years behind Boston for the eighth and eighth place in the Western won earlier Wednesday at Trailing by 12 after three of his contract, might have sus final playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. Boston. Denver (39-37), which quarters, Sacramento closed the tained a season-ending ankle Conference. Boston lost to was idle, is also competing for gap to 94-87 on a 3-pointer by injury in Golden State's 85-78 Portland on Wednesday. The Jazz 89, Hornets 76 the No. 8 playoff berth with two Peja Stojakovic with 4:21 left in victory over the Toronto Raptors Raptors have eight games left. SALT LAKE CITY - Mikki weeks remaining in the regular the game. Dampier had 14 rebounds "We're not playing like we Moore found out Wednesday that season. The Observer accepts dassifieds every business day from 8 a.m. to 3 f.m. at the Notre Dame office, 024 South Dining Hall. Deadline for next-day dassifieds is 3 p.m. AI classifieds must be prepaid. CLASSIFIEDS The charge is 3 cents per character per day, including all spaces. The Observer reserves the right to edit all classifieds for content without issuing refunds. WANTED: MENS Mt BIKE DOMUS PROPERTIES .HAS A 8 Student houses and apts. 2-3 or 4 Edwardsburg lake cottage com- FOR COMMUTE BEDROOM HOUSE. .. 2 BEDROOM bdrms close to ND. pletely furnished. NOTICES LEAVE DESCRIPTION HOUSE ... 2 BEDROOM Spring, summer or fall. PERSONAL 273·4486 DUPLEX ... 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Thursday, April 1, 2004 The Observer + PAID ADVERTISEMENT page 17 "Building An nces for Human Rights: W Organizing on Glob S South" The closing lecture will analyze the intersecting roles of African American, Afro Latin American, and Caribbean activists. Professor Harrison defines herself as a political anthropologist interested in culture, politics, and political economy as they relate to forms of social inequality. Her approach emphasizes race, gender, class, and (trans)national identity as interlocking dimensions of difference, inequality, and power. She has done extensive ethnographic and documentary research in the United States, Great Britain, and the Caribbean. Among her numerous publications are "Facing Racism and the Moral Responsibility of Human Rights Knowledge," Annals of the New York Academy ofScience, and "Global Apartheid, Foreign Policy, and Human Rights," Souls: A Critical Journal ofBlack Politics, Culture, and Society. She is presently working on a book, entitled "From the Outside Within: A Critical Project for Reworking Anthropology" (University of Illinois Press), on remaking anthropology from an African diasporic subject position. The lecture series on Race in the Americas is jointly sponsored by the African and African American Studies Program and the Institute for Latino Studies and cosponsored by Gender Studies, the Kellogg Institute for International Studies, the College of Arts and Letters, the College of Engineering, the College of Science, the Mendoza College of Business, the Office of the Vice-President for Student Affairs, and the Office of the Provost. ~UNIVERSITY OF WNOTREDAME page 18 The Observer + SPORTS Thursday, April 1, 2004 MLB Yankees demonstrate 'traditional domination' the game. that can happen? We lose 162 pitch from· Jeremi Gonzalez, bats. N.Y. overwhelms After a listless 8-3 loss on games, big deal. We can still eat, sending it deep into the seats in "I was in there saying, 'I'm the Tampa Bay 12-1 in opening day, fans back home and you're still going to get right-center. last one without a hit,'" he who got up at 5 a.m. had been paid."' Flashbulbs popped. Fans remembered. second Tokyo game infuriated, expecting greatness But a day after Tampa Bay jumped and stayed up for a Matsui had another chance to from their heroes, not groggi surprised the Yankees, the standing ovation, a rarity in come up big in the seventh when Associated Press ness. And then the Yankees fell Bronx' Bombers potent offense Japan. Some of the spectators he batted with the bases loaded, TOKYO - Hideki Matsui stood behind in the first inning when restored the old order - appro- repeatedly bowed to him. The but he struck out against Trever at home plate, received a samu Aubrey Huff hit priate for a coun ovation was prolonged, as if fans Miller. rai helmet called the Kabuto, an RBI single. try tied to tradi were trying to get him to come Posada, meanwhile, homered and raised the gold-and-red 0 w n e r tion - in another out for a curtain call. But right-handed ofT Damian Moss in armor high for the crowd to see. George "Hopefully, we can game that started Matsui, always modest, didn't the fifth and left-handed against The New York Yankees 'tradi Steinbrenner have many more before dawn in leave the dugout. Jorge Sosa in the seventh. It was tional domination' had been took the first New York. "It's really a once in a lifetime the fifth time he homered from restored. loss calmly, games like this. " Matsui tied it opportunity," Alex Rodriguez both sides in the same game, the Matsui rocked the Tokyo Dome saying, "It's not with an RBI single said. "Who knows when the first since June 28, 2002, with a two-run homer, thrilling where you Hldekl Matsui in the third. Tony Yankees are going to come against the New York Mets . the Japanese fans who worship start, it's where Yankee outfielder Clark , in the line back? It's a pretty special He thought ahead to the him. Jorge Posada hit three-run you fmish." But up at first base moment." 7 ,250-mile flight back to spring shots from both sides of the an 0-2 trip, because Jason Rodriguez came a few feet training in Florida. The Yankees plate, Kevin Brown won his first which would Giambi's left knee short of a grand slam in the sev were due to land at home just start in pinstripes and the have left them is hurt and Travis enth. The AL MVP had another after midnight, ending a 38-hour Yankees calmed their jittery last in the AL East, might have Lee is on the disabled list, put quiet night in his second game day caused by the time differ supporters back home by rout led to a different tune. New York ahead with a two-run for New York, going 0-for-5 and ence. ing the Tampa Bay Devil Rays "It wouldn't be fun. In fact, I homer in the fourth. dropping to 1-for-9 with no "Now," Posada said, "we can 12-1 Wednesday morning. made a comment when we were Then, in the fifth, came the RBis. talk on the plane." "Hopefully, we can have many down 1-0 in the first," Yankees moment fans wanted to see. Derek Jeter finally got his first Tampa Bay, coming off six more games like this," Matsui manager Joe Torre said. "I felt a Matsui, a home-run hero dur hit, an RBI single ahead of straight last-place finishes, was told the cheering crowd from a little tenseness in there. I said, ing 10 seasons with the Yomiuri Rodriguez in the seventh, after pretty much overlooked during podium near home plate after 'Guys, what's the worst thing Giants, teed off on a belt-high going hitless in his first seven at- its five days in Japan. ROWING -ch.e ND Depc:o.v+.....-..en.+ of M Team ranked 20th E.J 7.zab~+h .:Z..7ckg v-af/ c~r Je> vvi+h Poivi e.k ..... =+h_, pictV\= Special to the Observer Brown (300), Yale (298), Virginia (2 8 7), Michigan State (244). After a strong showing this Washington (224), Southern past weekend at the Michigan California (177), Washington Sa+tAv-day/ Apv-il 3/ 2004 Regatta, the Notre Dame State (165), Boston University ""1 l30 pYY\ women's rowing team is ranked (147), Tennessee (142). Syracuse 20th in the first (102), Cornell (95), Stanford (88), AV\V\e.V\be...... 9 Al..o\di+=v-il....-,YY\ USRowing/Collegiate Rowing Duke (76), Texas (67) and Notre .Snit-e }V'\t.-<.set.-<.rv. of A,.....+ Coaches Association (CRCA) poll Dame (31). FR.S:..S:. o.nd open +o +he. pv..blo"c of the season. The Irish were The Irish travel to San Diego, unranked in the preseason poll Calif., for the 31st annual San released three weeks ago but Diego Crew Classic April 3-4. had an impressive showing on Notre Dame's varsity eight boat Saturday against Michigan with will row in the prestigious its varsity eight boat finishing Jessop-Whittier Cup where it is second to Michigan. scheduled to go up against Ohio State tops the poll with Stanford, USC, Washington State, 383 points and 10 first-place Tennessee, Villanova, Purdue, points, followed by California Washington, California, Texas, (345 points). Princeton (335), Oregon State, Wisconsin, West Michigan (316), Harvard (303), Virginia and Fordham. r·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·, The Hispanic Law Students' Association cordially invites the Notre Dame community to the The Spring Run Graciela Olivarez Award Ceremony Saturday, April 3, 2004 A Benefit for ~ildlng Together with Christmas In April"' This prestigious award is given in honor of Graciela Olivarez, the first Hispanic and first female to graduate JR610RRUNt from Notre Dame Law School. The Award is bestowed each year upon a Hispanic lawyer or judge who best exemplifies Graciela Olivarez's commitment to community PLUS service, demonstration of the highest ethical and moral standards, and dedication to justice. This year's recipient is 2 MILl WAL. J. Robert Flores, Administrator of the Office of Juvenile Justice & Delinquency Prevention, V.S. Department of Justice. - Saturday, April3, 2004 - Continental Breakfast at 10: 15 am- Law School Lounge Award Ceremony at 11:00 am- Law School Courtroom 11:00 A.M. Stepan Center T-Shirts to all Finishers Register in Advance at RecSports $6.00 In Advance or $8.00 Day of Race Advance Registration Begins 3/254 Ends @ 5:00 p.m. 4/2 Student and Staff Divisions I ______! ------.------ Thursday, April 1, 2004 The Observer + SPORTS page 19 SOCCER U.S. shuts out Poland 1-0 in exhibition game Associated Press Wednesday. Polish police spun outside the left post. increased security for the game, ''lie made two great saves," PLOCK. Poland - The United with at least 50 officers forming Arena said. "It's comforting hav States tuned up for World Cup a ring around the field and ing a quality goalie like Brad qualifying by beating Poland 1-0 another 500 outside the stadium. Friedel out there." in an exhibition game Arena started seven European The U.S. team had many more Wednesday on DaMarcus based players, including Friedel, scoring chances. Beasley's goal, ending the hosts' who plays for Blackburn in the In the 26th minute, Heyna soven-game winning streak. English Premier League. flicked a pass to Chicago Fire Goalkeeper Brad Friedel had a "It was an important match in midfielder Beasley, wi}o pushed shutout in his first national team an important year," he said. "It the ball past goalie Jerzy Dudek game in nearly two years for the was great to get this group of without breaking stride. It was United States. which lost to players together and then have Beasley's fifth goal in a U.S. uni Poland 3-1 in the first round of success. It's rare we get our form. thr. 2002 World Cup. European based and domestic Josh Wolff posed the The Anwricans. who went on players together." Americans' first threat in the to reach the quarterfinals of that "Our captain, Claudio Heyna, 15th minute, forcing Dudek to tournament, open their road to and Beasley were probably the charge out of the net and smoth the 2006 edition with a qualifier two most important players out er the shot. In the 58th minute, against Grenada in Columbus, there today." Conor Casey had his foot on Ohio, on June 13. Friedel wasn't really tested -Bobby Convey's pass right in ' This also was coach Bruce until the 67th minute, when he front of the goal, but a defender AP Arena's first win in seven tries in came out to smother a shot kicked it away at the last minute. Poland's Euzeblusz Smolarek and DaMarcus Beasley of the Europe. launched by Jacek Krzynowek. In the 64th, Clint Mathis had a United States compete for the ball during an exhibition match. "It feels good," Arena said. Grzegorz Hasiak had Poland's clear look, but took too long to "We've lost some dillicult games best chance in the first half. control the ball. European Championship. Sweden edged England 1-0; along the way like to Holland, when Gregg Berhalter fell as It was one of several exhibition Hobbie Keane scored in injury Germany beat Belgium 3-0; and Germany. Italy. But we knew we they tangled over a pass, letting games across Europe on time to give Ireland a 2-1 victory the Netherlands dashed France's would win one." the forward race toward the goal Wednesday, with teams starting over the Czech Hepublic, which hopes of a world record. 15 wins Due to fears of terrorism alone. But Hasiak's weak shot to warm up for this summer's had been unbeaten in 20 games; in a row with a 0-0 tie. ------~---~I THE UNIVERSITY CLUB NCAA PRIVATE DINING CLUB ON THE CAMPUS OF NOTRE DAME WHERE MEMBERSHIP PAYS FOR ITSELF WITH EVERY MEAL OR DRINK! Okafor injured again Associated Press has been, I would say, for Daily Lunch Light Lunch Soup &112 Sandwich almost a month." Okafor Soup or Salad STORRS, Conn. - Just when missed three games, two in the Special Entree Soup &Half Sandwich Connecticut's All-America cen Big East tournament, because Entree ter Emeka Okafor seemed to of spasms in the muscles Coffee or Tea be getting sharp, he took around a small stress fracture Coffee or Tea Coffee or Tea another jolt Wednesday. in his back. Huskies coach Jim Calhoun Calhoun joked that whoever $6.95 $4.95 $3.95 said Okafor was bumped hard hit Okafor this time wouldn't in practice. Calhoun said the be traveling to San Antonio for CHEAP AND CLOSE .... YOUR UNIVERSITY CLUB ..... MEMBERSHIP INFORMATION 1·4685 injury was similar to the the Final Four. The team left stinger Okafor got against Wednesday evening. Connecti Alabama in the Phoenix cut plays Duke in a national Hegional final. when a hard semifinal Saturday night. foul jarred his neck and sent a "Someone actually hit his stinging pain down his arm. arm, which got his shoulder to "We fully expect that he may move a little bit," Calhoun said. Why spend the winter months in South take it easier tomorrow, but "I think with a little bit of ice, will fully practice again on TLC, talk, he'll be just fine." Bend when you could be studying in. __ Friday," Calhoun said. Okafor, a 6-foot-9, 252- Okafor was hit with about pound junior who will gradu eight minutes left in the work ate in May, averaged 18.1 out. Calhoun raved that until po.ints, 11.7 rebounds and a then Okafor was dunking and national-best 4.3 blocks this looking "much better than he season. Brazill UPPER DECK • Notre Dame Graduation Learn more about opportunities in Brazil Tent Parties at Coveleski by attending an information session on Stadium- Friday and April 1, 2004 at 5:00pm in 231 DBRT Saturday Nights Application deadline for Spring '05 is • Great for JPW and May 1, 2004 Graduation Parties Applications Available www/nd_edu/-intlstud 231·1185 page 20 The Observer + SPORTS Thursday, April 1, 2004 NFL ------~ ~'I& Career Center New rule changes ~ al tfl't Unlctr,ttf}' ofNo~r:e lll~~~e dr1 i..;u Apply for a job or internship NOW! to lengthen games Immediate Application Deadlines for Top Notch Companiesl Apply via Golrish by logging on to http://careercenter.nd.edu Associated Press network aren't likely in the next Questions? Call the Career Center 631-5200 contract, on which negotiations PALM BEACH, Fla. - The are about to begin. The current NFL's new emphasis on improv $17.6 billion, eight-year deal ing offense will come with a cost: expires at the end of the 2005 Application Deadlines longer games. season. The league wrapped up its But Tagliabue added: annual spring meeting "Anything in life is possible." Wednesday with several expect There was almost no contro Wells Fargo-West Coast, Dallas-Ft. Worth, ed moves, including the approval versy when the owners ratified Washinton D.C., NY-Res Drop- (FIT) of some new rules and setting the competition committee rec out to make sure existing ones ommendation Wednesday to 4/2 BUS are enforced properly. make excessive celebration a 15- They include adding a 15-yard yard penalty. The vote was 31-1, penalty for Terrell Owens/Joe with Oakland dissenting, as it Yahoo.Com (F/T) Horn type demonstrations, espe does more often than not. 4/2 A&L, BUS cially when they are orchestrat The change was aimed more ed by groups of players. The at group celebrations than at penalties will be in addition to individual ones - spikes, dunks United Conveyor (FIT & Summer Job) fines already in place for such and Lambeau leaps are still end zone acts as Horn pulling allowed, although use of a hard 4/8 ENG out a cell phone from under the "foreign object" will be penal goal post, or Owens taking a pen ized. That would include the pen Harper Collins-Res Drop (lnt) out of his sock and autographing pulled out by Owens to sign a a ball. football in celebration of a 4/9 A&L, BUS But the greater effect is likely touchdown in Seattle two sea to come from a new emphasis on sons ago, and the cell phone holding and illegal contact by used by Horn last season in New Fox News-Res Drop (lnt) defensive backs; illegal blocks on Orleans. 4/10 A&L, BUS kicking plays; and an added The new penalties are aimed replay challenge for teams that at staged photo snaps, circle are successful on their first two. dances and similar celebrations Canopy Films-Res Drop (lnt) That means more penalties. that previously were punished many of them for illegal contact only by fines. The fines went up 4/12 A&L on passing plays after passing from 18 in 2002 to 61 last sea yardage was at an 11-year low son, leading the committee to last season - 202 yards per decide that the wrath from their Crist Associates-Res Drop (lnt) team compared to 212 in 2002. coaches after a 15-yard walkoff 4/15 A&L, BUS "Yes, games will probably get would be more effective in curb a little longer," said Rich McKay, ing the demonstrators than the ------~------co-chairman of the competition loss of money. committee. "You're always con Other rules changes, most of scious of the length of games. It's them minor, include: versity of notre dame not something you want to +Allowing wide receivers to Cun encourage. But we felt we had to wear the numbers 10-19. In the do something about passing past, they could wear them only JUNE 21 - AUGUST 6, 2004 yardage going down." when all the numbers in the 80s McKay said he believed game were taken. 0 times would come down once +Expansion of practice squads anthropology The 2004 summer session will begin on -- ··architecture players made adjustments. from five to eight players. This Monday, June 21 (enrollment), and end on Of far more long-term conse was done with the concurrence (f) art Friday, August 6 (final exams). Some courses quence was the possibility of the of the NFL players' union and is biology primarily in science and languages-will begin new NFL Network televising live for one year. Coaches pushed for business and end before or after these dates. The games. Commissioner Paul it, contending injuries often cur (f) chemistry Summer Session Bulletin contains complete Tagliabue said that could hap tailed their ability to field full classical languages schedule information. The Bulletin is available pen some time in the future, teams for drills, especially late in computer applications at the Summer Session Office (51 0 Main B!dg.) which would give the league a the season. Q) east asian languages beginning on Monday, February 2. Infor- economics major bargaining chip in negoti +Allowing the head coach to call mation on summer courses, as it appears in engineering ations with the networks. a timeout by signaling to any the Bulletin, is also available at the Summer (f) english Tagliabue said games on the official on the field. In the past, a Session Web site (www.nd.edu/-sumsess). five-month old satellite and cable player had to call the timeouts. film french Notre Dame continuing students-undergraduate german and graduate students in residence during the !.- history spring semester of 2004 who are eligible to irish studies Q) Italian return in the fall-must use Web Registration mathematics (1) to register for summer courses and (2) to music add or drop courses according to the add philosophy and drop dates printed with each course. The physics Web Registration PIN (personal identification political science number) for summer is available on Irish link E psychology for all continuing students. Instructions for sociology course registration (selection) are available at spanish http://registrar.nd.edu. Course call numb~rs ,theatre are published in the Bulletin and at the Summer E the61ogy Session Web site. Web Registration will be available for summer registration from Wednesday, March 17, :J through the course add and drop dates published in the Summer Session Bulletin. Students may register or make schedule changes whenever they choose during this (f) period; no appointment times are necessaty. · Air-conditioned and non-air-conditioned housing and (optional) summer meal plans will be available. Forms for these services may be obtained at the Summer Session Office at any time during the spring semester. T ultion for the summer session of 2004 will be $538 per credit hour for undergraduate students and $288 per credit hour for graduate students, plus a $50 general fee. Thursday, April 1, 2004 The Observer + SPORTS page 21 TENNIS NBA Dementieva defeats Williams Defense rests case Associated Press was giving a tour of his man Williams' lawyers sion to friends and members KEY BISCAYNE. Fla. -Tape conclude their of the Harlem Globetrotters. took care of Venus Williams' Williams picked up a shotgun. sprained right foot. There was no arguments in trial snapped it shut and it fired, remedy for the shaky serve and killing Christon. . late fitde. Associated Press Williams. 36, faces eight Williams was injured during the SOMERVILLE, N.J. - The charges. the most serious of second set Wednesday. but sloppy defense rested Wednesday in which is aggravated shotmaking hurt her more, and the Jayson Williams manslaughter. Collectively, she lost to Elena Dementieva 6-3, manslaughter trial. they carry up to 55 years in 5-7. 7-6 (3) in the quarterfinals of Defense lawyers concluded prison. The least of the the Nasdaq-100 Open. their case shortly after the charges carries a penalty of A three-time champion at Key former NBA star told a judge up to 18 months in prison, Biscayne, Williams carne up short that he would not take the but would likely result in pro in lwr bid to mach a semifinal for stand in his own defense. bation. the first time since Wimbledon in "I am innocent. I put my In addition to manslaugh July. Dernentieva survived a trust in God and I have great ter, Williams is charged with match point and erratic play of confidence in this jury," attempting to make the her own to win the tense but Williams told Superior Court shooting look like a suicide unsightly 2 1/2-hour duel. Judge Edward M. Coleman and with persuading others "It was a very dillicult. long, but without the jury present. to lie that they were down I think interesting match," the No. Williams said he made the stairs when Christon shot 5-sondnd Hussian said. decision after discussions himself. The upset had all the character with his wife and defense The defense concluded its istics of a Venus loss: She double team. case after presenting live wit faulted 11 times, committed 51 Defense attorney Billy nesses, including weapons unforced errors and played hurt. Martin had said in his open experts who testified that Williams took a nine-minute EPA ing arguments last month Williams' shotgun was old timeout for treatment when she Venus Williams returns the ball to Russia's Elena Dementleva that "Jayson Williams will tell and prone to misfire. rolled her right foot in the final during their Nasdaq-100 Open match. you what happened that However, both conceded game of the second set. She actu night. Jayson Williams will under cross-examination that ally played bett1~r when the match match point at 6-5 but sailed a Guillermo Coria became the first tell you how this horrific, they couldn't get the gun to resumed, winning 14 of the next forehand long, then committed semifinalist by beating unseeded totally unforeseeable accident fire without pulling the trig I 7 points to take a 3-0 lead in the five unforced errors in the Nicolas Kiefer -6-3, 6-3. Coria will occurred." ger. last set. tiebreaker. play Friday against No. 21 Williams is charged in the The prosecution presented But serving for the match at 5- Slowed by injuries since last Fernando Gonzalez or unseeded February 2002 shooting 36 witnesses. two of whom 3, Williams hit four double-faults, summer, Williams has slipped to Andrei Pavel. death of a limousine driver at said they heard Williams including three in a row to lose No. 17 in the rankings and has Williams' defeat spoiled a his Hunterdon County man utter a profanity at the driver the game. played only 10 matches in four potential renewal of her sibling sion. before the gun fired. "It was sunny and the wind kept events this year, never advancing rivalry with younger sister Serena The trial. now in its eighth Williams had gone with blowing and my toss got crazy," beyond the quarterfinals. Seeded in the final Saturday. Instead, week. is to resume Thursday some friends to see a Harlem she said. "That was not good." second at Key Biscayne, she was Dementieva advanced to the with prosecution rebuttal wit Globetrotters game in The errant serves didn't sur unable to take advantage of a semifinals, where she'll play fel nesses. Coleman told jurors Bethlehem, Pa. Christofi had prise Dcmentieva. field missing the world's five high low Russian Nadia Petrova, seed that closing arguments could driven four Globetrotters "I just said to myself, 'She's just est-ranked players. including No. ed eighth. begin as early as Thesday. from the game to a restau like you, you know, she can be 1 Justine Henin-Ilardenne. Petrova beat No. 21 Nathalie The defense attempted to rant near the Williams estate nervous,"' Dementieva said with a Asked to assess the state of her Dechy 6-2. 6-2. show that Williams was not for dinner with Williams and laugh. game. a subdued Williams said: Top-seeded Serena Williams aware that the driver, Costas most of the group. They then Thnre were other missed "Just on the up and up." will play No. 25 Eleni Daniilidou "Gus" ChristoG, 55, was in the went to the mansion in chances by Williams. She held a In men's play, No. 3-seeded in the other semifinal. bedroom with him while he Alexandria Township. ,. ;.; BMW ·· Certffied Pre·Owned Certified rnover ' \i!!!W\!!'\.U'#.~ .. '~-'1!0(\·_):;4'-*H~w., •. ,•• Certified shaker Certified no rnore n·mc & r;heese Certified acceleration Certified rush Certified freedom Certified bring it on Certified Prt:> .. Owned BMW Certified only at an authorized BMW center. Get warranty protection• up to 6 years or 100,000 mile$. Get flexible leasing and financing options. Get pure BMW. ~ . search up-to-date, exttn!iyt invtntorx at bmwyp.com 'Prc:tact•on Plll.n prolf'4es cc'J\Il!raue hx up to 2 >'f>ars ('' SiJ.OOO md% i,vhi::lle\.'N r..o«h1!l (;r!\01} tmm ttm dati! ot the nxpimt•oo nf !he 4 year 150,000 miji! BMW Ne-... Vani<:le Urni!Eld Warrtlllty.l:::'*' pa~1ic•r.~1ting 6~1'N 1:- MLB Griffey plagued by injuries since homecoming "It's a shame," said shortstop He played in only 111 games Outfielder hasn't Barry Larkin, a close friend. in 2001, when he tore the played a full season "It's like he fell out of grace same hamstring in a different with everyone." spot. He made only 70 games since joining Reds Fans who put up yard signs the next year, when he tore a welcoming him home in knee tendon. Last year, he Associated Press February 2000 now ignore played in a career-low 53 him. or worse. The Reds have games because of a dislocated SARASOTA, Fla. - A com tried to trade him twice, and shoulder and torn ankle ten mercial for a video baseball will most likely do so again. don. game came on the clubhouse Rarely has a star of such He has spent the last three television, showing sluggers magnitude burned out so fast. years rehabilitating injuries, launching balls deep into the "He never got himself off the only to get hurt again. seats with ease. ground in Cincinnati," said his Teammates have marveled at John VanderWal couldn't re father, Ken Sr. "That's the his resilience. sist. unfortunate part of it." "I was just taught at an early "Hey, that used to be yours - He was the game's best all age to never give up," Griffey when you were healthy," the around player when he arrived said. "That goes with anything pinch-hitter said, kidding the from Seattle, accepting a nine and everything, including All-Century player seated near year, $116.5 million contract rehab. If you want to play, you by. that was well below market have to do it." Ken Griffey Jr. just grinned value. General manager Jim He desperately wants a full and went on talking to Bowden insisted that Griffey season so he can get back to Cincinnati Reds teammates would more than pay for him being an impact player. So do around the folding table. For self in his hometown. teammates who have encour once, he didn't have a ready He couldn't have been more aged and defended him comeback for a good-natured wrong. through three tough years. tease. Playing in front of huge "You know the anguish he's What could he say? crowds wearing his No. 30 jer had to go through, then all of a Since his triumphant home sey that first season, Griffey sudden it happens again," first coming in 2000, Griffey's provided a glimpse of his past baseman Sean Casey said. "It's career has been a terrible dis - 145 games, 40 homers, 118 been one thing after another. appointment for himself and RBis - and a hint of what was Hopefully this is the end of the everyone else. A wave of to come. He tore a hamstring injuries and he can do some injuries transformed him from in September, the first such things he's been planning on All-Century to all-but-forgot injury of his career. for a long time." ten. It hasn't stopped. A healthy Griffey also could Nowadays, A-Rod, Sammy, He suffered major injuries at silence fans who turned on Nomar and Jeter are the big the beginning of his next three him. When he dislocated his deals, getting the publicity and seasons, turning him into a shoulder while diving for a ball the commercials. past-tense player. As the last season, fans in the outfield Junior? In many ways, the injuries kept coming, his num stands at Great American Ball 34-year-old outfielder is treat bers kept declining, along with Park jeered as he rolled on the Cincinnati Reds' hitter Ken Griffey Jr. hits a foul ball In the third .. ed like old news. fan interest. field in pain. Inning of a spring training game this season . lVIarket:ing? Communica t:ions? Public Relations? I£ t:hese t:hings int:erest: you~ APPLY TOr>.. A:"Y £or SUB Direct:or o£ Publicit:y! Applications DUE on lVIONDAY~ APRIL st:h Apps available at: "V\r\IVW.nd.eduf--sub Turn Applications in by 4:30pm in St:u.dent Government: (LaFortune 203) The St:u.dent Union Board (SUB) is looking for ambitious, qualified and creative students to apply for t:he Director of Publicity position. You. will: • Oversee all publicity for all of SUB's movies,. concerts,. speakers,. comedians,. etc. etc. etc. • Coordinate a team of qualified graphic desigr1ers and marketing assistants to use creative advertising on campus • Devise a plan to '"'brand'' the name SUB • Write SUB's press releases • l\.tlanage the public relations of SUB's BIG NAl\!1E events QUESTIONS? EJ\.11AIL JIJ\.tl~ FLAHERTY,. BOARD l'\.tiANAGER. [email protected] u OUND THE NATION Thursday, April I, 2004 CoMPILED FROtvlTHE OBSERVER'S Willi SERVICES page 23 NBA team 1 Maryland 2 Johns Hopkins 3 SyraculltJ 4 Georgetown 5 Nortll carolina 6 Navy 7 Princeton 8 Duke 9 Cornell 10 Vfrglnlll 11 Brown 12 Army 13 NOTRE DAME 14 Rutgers 15 Towson 16 Denver 17 Ohio State 18 Delaware 19 Lovola 20 UMBC learn record 1 Princeton 7·0 2 Georgetown 5·0 3 NOTRE DAME 1-6 .·. 4 Loyola 9·1 5 Virginia 8-2 6 Duke 6~3 7 J11me5 Madison 5-2: 8 Maryland 9 vanderbilt 10 Syracuse 11 Dartmouth AP 12 Johns Hopkins Calvin Murphy, right, a former guard for the Houston Rockets, leaves the courtroom March 31 with his attorney, 13 UNC Rusty Hardin. Murphy pleaded not guilty to charges that he molested his five daughters over a decade ago. 14 Yale 15 Northwtstern 16 William & Mary 11 Towson Hall of Farner Murphy pleads not guilty 18 Penn State -A-ss-oc-ia-t~-d-P-re-ss______· into the Basketball Hall of prosecutor Lance Long said. ters, because there are rea 19 Richmond Fame in 1993. "You have got to remem sons behind this kind of HOUSTON Tears He has taken a leave of ber this involves my family thing that will be brought streaming down his face absence from his analyst - the family that I so dear out later," he said. after appearing in a court duties on Rockets telecasts ly love - and to be put in a Long said at least one room Wednesday, former while he fights three situation like this, and to daughter said she was as Houston Rockets star Calvin charges of indecency with a have a lot of time to think young as 6 when Murphy team Murphy declared he is inno child and three charges of about what has occurred is took her to a hotel room 1 Arizona (25) cent of charges he molested aggravated sexual assault a travesty for my family," and performed oral sex on 2 UCLA five of his daughters. of a child. Murphy said. her. On another occasion, 3 California "I am not guilty of these "Obviously, I am missing The five daughters, now Long said, Murphy fondled 4 Florida Slate 37-4 charges," Murphy said, at being the flamboyant com adults, claim the abuse one of the girls after she 5 Georgia 32·6 times blotting tears with a mentator that I was before occurred from 1988-91, had moved in with him fol 6 LSU 31-7 white hand towel. "I can't all this happened, but that according to an affidavit lowing her stepfather's 7 Washington 24-7 emphasize that enough." is not important right now," filed by the Texas Rangers. death. 8 Loulslana·Lalayelle 30·4 The initial court appear he said. "What is important Murphy contends the Long said he plans to take 9 Michigan 25-& ance was to make sure right now is what I am claims by his daughters the case to a grand jury to 10 Alabama 28-9 Murphy understood the doing ... to defend myself, stem from family discord secure the formal indict 11 Slanlord 2H charges against him and he try to get myself exonerated related to a battle over ment needed to send the 12 Tennestee 34·8 wasn't required to enter a and put my family back money. case to trial. but wasn't 13 Oklahoma 21M1!'l/ formal plea. together." "My heart aches - of sure how soon the case 14 Fresno State Murphy, 55, was a guard Murphy has 10 daughters course for me because I am would be presented. 15 Oregon ~~~~ :.1/~:.: for the Rockets from 1970 and four sons with nine in the spotlight - but it Murphy's next court date is 16 Oregon State 30.9 to 1983 and was inducted women, Harris County really aches for my daugh- April27. 11 Florida 31~6 18 South Florida 39-7 19 Baylor 31·6 20 PatiliC 21-9 21 Nebraska 22¥11 IN BRIEF 22 Auburn 26·4 23 South Carolina 17-8 Garciaparra out at least ready. Once that happens it shouldn't option of returning for his senior sea 24 Arizona State 30.14 three weeks take me long to get back in the line son. 25 Guorula Tech 29-7 FORT MYERS, Fla. - Hed Sox up," he said. "I plan on putting my name in and ····''''•'· .w.w.@''''''' shortstop Nomar Garciaparra will Garciaparra was examined testing it out, testing the waters," start the season on the disabled list Wednesday in Florida by Mark Childress said in a telephone interview with an injured right Achilles' ten Slovenkai, an ankle and foot special Wednesday. "I do not plan on hiring don and is expected to be out at least ist from New England Baptist an agent right now, just from the three weeks. Hospital. standpoint of coming back if I need around the dial The All-Star slugger said No structural damage was found in to." Wednesday that doctors told him to the tendon, but the injury was diag On Tuesday, the All-American for NBA rest. Pokey Heese will be at shortstop nosed as a bruise in the cartilage ward told coach Mike Montgomery his Sacramento at Dallas, 8 p.m., TNT when Boston opens the regular sea that covers the tendon. The only decision. Houston at los Angeles, 10: 30 p.m., TNT son Sunday in Baltimore, and Mark treatment is rest. Montgomery had said after the sea Bellhorn will fill in for Heese at sec Garciaparra was injured March 5 son he expected his leading scorer to ond base. when he was hit by a ball during return. Stanford, ranked No. 1 in the "I don't like missing more time batting practice. He has been limited nation at the time, was knocked out in NHL than I anticipated, but the good thing to just eight at-bats in spring train the second round of the NCAA Detroit at St. louis, 8 p.m., ESPN2 is we know we have a structured ing. Tournament by Alabama. program to be able to talk to all the Childress missed the season's first doctors and get everyone on the Childress to declare for nine games with a left foot injury, then same page," Garciaparra said after draft averaged 15.7 points, 7.5 rebounds MLB the team placed him on the disabled Stanford forward Josh Childress and 1.6 blocks the rest of the way and Houston at Atlanta, 1 :05 p.m., ESPN2 list. will declare himself eligible for the earned Pac-1 0 Player of the Year hon "My body will tell me when I'm NBA draft but still leave open the ors. page 24 The Observer+ SPORTS Thursday, April 1, 2004 week began when she collected ed three home runs and 10 RBis which its pitchers allowed three good pitching all season, the her second career perfect game during that span. hits and no runs. offense has not been able to keep Western in a six-inning 9-0 victory over "Meaghan has been great for Pitcher Laura Stewart threw a up, resulting in the team's losing continued from page 28 Valparaiso on March 23. She also us all year," Gumpf said. "She's no-hitter in the first game. She record so far this year. As a threw seven scoreless innings proving to be an excellent player has been the Broncos' leader on team, Western Michigan has only Notre Dame is coming off a against St. Louis, finishing with a for the team day-in and day-out." the mound so far this season hit .229 this season. first-place finish at the Hoosier combined 22 strikeouts in 13 Western Michigan is coming off with a 2.02 ERA and an 8-7 Invitational in Bloomington over innings pitched over the two a home-opening two-game record on the season. Contact Justin Schuver at the weekend. The Irish defeated games. sweep of Oakland Tuesday, in While the Broncos have had [email protected] St. Louis, Indiana and Western "Steffany has really made a Kentucky. commitment to be more consis Two individuals reaped the tent," Gumpf said. "She's done a rewards of the team's recent great job of being more under play, as Steffany Stenglein was control. When she gets ahead of named Big East pitcher of the hitters, she's a much better week and Meagan Ruthrauff was pitcher." named the offensive player of the Ruthrauff batted 7-for-12 in week. the games at Valparaiso and the Stenglein's award-winning Hoosier Invitational. She collect- SMC SOFTBALL 100? Belles split with Friday April 2 4:00-7:00 PM league foe Albion South Quad (outside Badin) The Belles committed three By BOBBY GRIFFIN errors in the game, which Register at North Sports Writer proved to be the difference. In the second game, the two and South Dining Halls Coming off their sweep of Tri teams played six scoreless or by contacting [email protected] State, the Belles split league innings before Saint Mary's or [email protected] games with Albion Wednesday, broke the tie in the bottom of dropping the first game 4-3 the seventh with an RBI double before bouncing back with a 1- by Sullivan with runners on 0 win in the second half of the first and second. Sullivan was rREE rOOD AAD DRIAKS doubleheader. 2-for-4 in the game with the In the first game, Albion took RBI. Laura Heline went 2-for-3 rOR SPECTATORS! the lead after three scoreless with a run scored. innings with a run in the bot "She had just lined a shot tom of the fourth on an RBI foul down the right field line, groundout by Sarah Caskey. and [the pitcher came right PRIZES Saint Mary's responded with a back] with a fastball and Erin DONATED BY run in the top of the fifth on an just crushed it to the fence," Erin Sullivan RBI single, but coach Anna Welsh said. "[The Outback Steakhouse Albion retook the lead with two WW[£)000 Between the Buns hit was] definitely very clutch runs in the bottom of the for us." BW3's TGIFriday's inning. Libby Wilheinly pitched well BREAI(DOWn FunTan Parisi's The Belles once again tied for the Belles, giving up four the score at three in the top of hits in seven scoreless innings, I the sixth inning thanks to a striking out two and walking wild pitch and a walk. Albion one. responded in the bottom of the "She threw very well," Welsh sixth, however, this time taking said. "[Our] pitching is ready the lead for good. for conference play. We have to Kate Sajewich threw six solid give our pitchers some runs." innings for the Belles, giving up Join the Conversation! one earned run on seven hits Contact Bobby Griffm at and striking out three batters. [email protected] soth Anniversary of Brown V. Board of Education Monday,April sth, 7:00 -9:00pm ETS Theater in McKenna Hall (CCE Basement) The topic at the next Irish Inquisition,April21, will be Screening of The Road to Brown followed by a panel "What do you expect will become of you after you die?" discussion, "The Legacy of Brown" Now it's your turn. Whom do you want summoned to speak to this topic? Nominations are being taken all this Rhonda Brown, Director, Office of the Institutional Equity week at the Inquisition's website, William Carbonaro, Assistant Professor of Sociology www.nd.edu/- inquisit Walter F. Pratt, Associate Dean, Law School Richard Pierce, Carl E: Koch Chair of History - You can put in a request for any non-student Notre Dame employee-a professor, administrator, rector, coach, \c;;* sandwich artist, anyone. Tuesday,April 6th, Confused? You should be. For enlightenment, seek ye the website or write to [email protected]. 7:00- 8:30pm Coleman-Morse Lounge (I st Floor) Tb€ lRlSb Panel discussion led by Notre Dame students: "Desegregation and the South Bend Schools" Frankie Beecroft, Christian McNamara, Mary Murphy, Shan ida Sharp and Sarah Wear The Irish lnqUJMion is supported financially by the Office of Student Activities, Mendoza College of Business. College of Arts and letters, Building Services. l~otie Dame Magazine, the Center for Social Concerns, and Graduate Student Union. ~------ Thursday, April I, 2004 The Observer + PAID ADVERTISEMENT page 25 ( ,,f· I \ l" 'I !.' \ : '~~ I I i F0/1 A1E-r,; _ANIJ vVC}fvlL_t\1 ------~------·------ page 26 The Observer+ SPORTS Tht•rsday, April 1, 2004 teams to play a maximum 56- game regular season sched Offense ule. Teams often scramble to Buckeyes continued from page 28 fill dates that have been continued from page 28 rained out or cancelled in Jess Stewart a comfortable 4- order to get in as many games duced two goals. The drive 0 cushion. as are allowed. Mainieri says continued until halftime as the Trailing 5-1 in the top of the he is excited about the chance Irish found themselves with a fourth inning, the Broncos cut to get in an extra game before slim 4-3 lead. Notre Dame's lead in half as an important three-game Big "We were playing well defen shortstop Adam Rosales - East series with Villanova this sively and knew that a couple who went 2-for-4 on the day weekend. of their goals came from penal - sent a 1-1 Stewart pitch · "I actually think [the extra ties," Peters said. "We wanted over the right field fence for a game] helps us," Mainieri to come back in the second half two-run homer. The freshman said. "I like playing games on and take over." Stewart gave up a single to Thursdays, because you don't The Irish regained focus and the next batter but then got get stale on the two days from came out with intensity in the· three straight outs to end the Wednesday to Saturday. I'm second half as seniors Matt inning. really grateful to Hillsdale Howell and Dan Berger both Notre Dame would go on to College for wanting to come scored goals. The Notre Dame score seven unanswered runs up and do it." rally gave them a 7-3 advan in the next four innings to put Irish freshman Chris Vasami tage heading into the fourth the game out of reach. will be the starter on the quarter. Freshman pitcher Mike mound for Notre Dame. But the Irish were unable to Dury had a notable achieve hold off the Ohio State offense ment in relief for the Irish, Notes: for the final quarter. The working three perfect innings + With strong winds blow Buckeyes went on to score four in the fifth. sixth and seventh ing out to right field at Frank consecutive goals which gave to earn the victory - the first Eck Stadium Wednesday. them an 8-7 advantage, their of his career. The 6-foot-5 three Irish batters and one first lead of the game. lefty had only one ball leave Bronco hitter notched home "It was disappointing when the infield and struck out two· runs - all over the right field we found ourselves behind for batters in his three innings. fence. For Notre Dame, the first time, " midfielder "At the beginning of the sea Edwards, outfielder Craig Brian Hubschmann said. "We son. I didn't really expect Cooper and designated hitter saw that they were playing the Mike Dury to contribute as Matt Bransfield all hit full sixty minutes and that is much as a pitcher as he has dingers. Bransfield's homer where we were falling short." this year," Mainieri said. "He's was his fourth in the last eight Hubschmann was able to HILLARY THORNTON!The Observer becoming a guy that the games. respond for the Irish with 28 Irish midflelder Matt Ryan tries to avoid an Ohio State defender coaches are becoming very Rosales had the lone home seconds left to tie the match 8- as attackman Dan Berger looks on. confident in out there." run for Western Michigan. 8, but the Buckeyes responded The Irish return to the field + The 17 hits recorded with 12 seconds remaining to leading scorer with four goals straight victory. today for a 5 p.m. game with against Western Michigan give them the 9-8 victory. and four ground balls. Josh Notre Dame stands at 2-4. Hillsdale College. The game were the most for the Irish Notable figures in Wednesday Lesko led the team with seven. The Irish's next opponent is was added to the schedule since a 20-hit performance in night's game were Huschmann, This is the second consecu Darmouth Sunday at Moose earlier in the week as a make a 12-11 victory over Southern who had two goals and two tive win for Ohio State against Krause Stadium. up game for the one that was Illinois March 6. ground balls, and Steve Notre Dame. cancelled against Illinois Clagett, who led the team in The Buckeyes defeated the March 14. Contact Chris Federico at ground balls with seven. Irish 11-5 last season. Ohio Contact Dan Tapetillo at The NCAA allows baseball [email protected] Tom Randisi was Ohio State's State is now 6-2 after its fifth [email protected] old 'em To Help 'em Texas hold 'em tournament April2·4 Nd room· lafortune $10 entry· Great prizes!!! Free snacks!!! don't know how to play? Info sessionlpractice rounds on aprill 7·9pm nd room Discounts for dealers· $5 entry &free pizza! Sign up in the dining halls march 25,26,31 & april1,2 Proceeds to benefit project adopt Sponsored by student govt. ~------ Thursday, April I, 2004 The Observer+ TODAY page 27 SCOTT ADAMS HENRI ARNOLD DILBERT JUMBLE MIKE ARGIRION THAT SCRAMBLED WORD GAME E by Henri Arnold and Mike Arglrlon DOCTOR DOGBER T SHOW 8 I MAKE HIM SLEEP IN l AND THE PROBLEM Unscramble these four Jumbles, one ® A GIGANTIC HOT DOG IS THAT HE SNORES. letter to each square. TODAY WE'LL MEET A e BUN. to form four ordinary words. COUPLE WHO HAVE A "'0.. COMMON PROBLEM. i CAN I NACYF j SEE IT? ) I [I I I C2004 Tribune Media Services, Inc. All Righla Reserved. ALLAM CIJ I I FIVES BRETT CAMPBELL & DAN ZYCHINSKI t GRIINF WHE:N SHE SFOTreD A. MOUSt: IN THE To J I I ~.IT'#&-- www.jumble.com lu N~ Do.rne. ne.ed.s ~ht. FLAWLU h!o.c.k ~le+e. Now arrange the circled letters to ) form the surprise answer, as 1 rJ suggested by the above cartoon. Answer here: "[I I I J-[ I I I J" (Answers tomorrow) #1: Become a famous Jumbles: LIVEN GAILY IMPAIR DUGOUT Yesterday's I __ ,_. Stonehenge a alum and embarass the Answer: What he said when the concert was over- IT WAS "TRILLING" #3: T.P. an entire quad. iculous color school national CROSSWORD WILLSHORTZ HOROSCOPE EUGENIA LAST ACROSS 33 High nests 64 Handsome CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Ali MacGraw, Debbie Reynolds, youth 1 Filn1, in Variety 36 Insult, slangily Phillip Schofield, Jennifer Runyon 65 Architect 4 Pant 37 Goya's Saarinen Happy Birthday: You will instinctively know what changes to make to enhance 8 Neighbor of "Duchess of your appearance and your attitude this year. This is a time of change and you 66 Used Orlando must be willing to give in to what you can't change in order 10 67 1973 Peace move forward. This can be a wonderful year for you if you will compromise 14 Call _day 38 Porter classic Nobelist and let your intuition lead the way. 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Crosswords for young ..;;;..I,.;;;;.L.;...L;..&...;.J 32 Carry on solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords. Make checks payable to: The Observer THE OBSERVER and mail to: P.O. Box Q Notre Dame, IN 46556 Published Monday through Friday, The Observer is a vital source of information on D Enclosed is $100 for one academic year people and events in the Notre Dame and Saint Mary's Community. D Enclosed is $55 for one semester Name ______Join the more than 13,000 readers who have Address ______found The Observer an indispensible link to the City ______State ____ Zip. ______two campuses. Please complete the accompa nying form and mail it today to receive The Observer in your home. ------·------.... THE OBSERVER Thursday, April 1, 2004 PORTS page 28 FOOTBALL Hornung apologizes for comments "We can't stay as strict as we ed his comments. He apolo letes." requirement for athletes have By PAT LEONARD are as far as the academic gized after receiving heavy Notre Dame went 5-7 for the remained constant over those Associate Sports Editor structure is concerned because amounts of phone calls and 2003 season, its third losing years in which we have had we've got to get the black ath negative response. season in the last five years. both great success and occa Former Heisman Trophy win lete," he said in the interview. Matt Storin, a University According to the AssoCiated sional disappointments with ner Paul Hornung apologized "We must get the black athlete spokesperson, called Hornung Press, Hornung said he believes our football teams." Wednesday for controversial if we want to compete." an "illustrious alumnus" of the Notre Dame lowered admission Hornung played quarterback comments he made concerning On Wednesday, Hornung school but spoke against the standards in the late 1980s, for Notre Dame under coach Notre Dame's admission of ath expressed regret in a telephone former player's comments. when the Irish won their last Terry Brennan and won the letes during a radio interview interview with the Associated "Paul Hornung ... in no way national championship. Heisman Trophy in 1956. He is Tuesday in Detroit. Press. speaks for the University, and "Notre Dame has increased the only player in college foot Hornung told WXYT-AM - an "I was wrong," he said. we strongly disagree with the the diversity of its student body ball history to win the Heisman ESPN-radio affiliate - that "What I should have said is for thesis of his remarks," Storin significantly in recent years, while playing on a losing team. Notre Dame must "ease it up a all athletes it is really tough to said. "They are generally insen including its percentage of The 1956 Irish were 2-8. bit" when considering its get into Notre Dame." sitive and specifically insulting African-American students," admission of athletes, especial According to the Associated to our past and current Storin said in response. "Our Contact Pat Leonard at ly African-Americans. Press, Hornung initially defend- African-American student ath- records show that admission [email protected] BASEBALL NO SOFTBALL Irish batters buck Broncos, 12-3 Western a little bit of that swagger back Michigan Team garners 17 hits when they go up to the plate in as offense erupts on clutch hitting situations," he said. Western Michigan The Irish hitters responded awaits well as second baseman Steve Sollmann went 3-for-5 against By CHRIS FEDERICO the Broncos, third baseman Irish having more Senior Staff Writer Matt Macri was a perfect 3-for- 3 and first baseman Matt 'complete' season as The Irish bats stormed back Edwards had three RBis and an to life Wednesday night, and opposite-field home run. weather abides No. 5 Notre Dame (18-3) put Sollmann, who struggled out runs on the board in six of the gates to a .227 batting By JUSTIN SCHUVER straight innings to beat Western average before a 5-for-11 week Associate Sports Editor Michigan (8-12) at Frank Eck end against West Virginia and a Stadium. 3-for-5 night Wednesday, now What a difference a year The Irish batters collected 17 has his average back up to .280 makes. hits and scored a dozen runs to and says he is starting to get Last season, inclement weath cruise to a 12-3 victory over the back into a rhythm at the plate. er and other factors led to the Broncos. "You ~o through ups and cancellation of nearly half of "I thought today was one of downs in baseball," Sollmann Notre Dame's schedule. our better games really," Irish said. "The one thing you have According to coach Deanna coach Paul Mainieri said. "I met to do is just keep your confi Gumpf, this year's Irish have with our hitters the other day in dence. I'm seeing the ball bet played about 10 more games practice, and I really challenged ter. I'm keeping things simple than the team had played at this them. Here we are 17-3, and and not thinking too much at point last season. they've got a coach that isn't the plate." "I can't tell you how much of a satisfied." The Irish jumped out to a difference it's been this year," In the last couple of weeks, good start Wednesday, plating she said. "We have had 10 more Mainieri had worried about the four runs in the second inning games for our team to improve lack of hitting from several of and giving freshman pitcher • Observer F1le Photo through the season. Notre Dame's big batters. Matt Macri and the Irish accounted for 17 hits Wednesday, "We've played 32 games so far, "I challenged [the team] to get see OFFENSE/page 26 the highest total since a 20-hlt performance March 4. and we're only halfway through the year. Thirty of those games have been on the road, so we're really looking forward to getting MEN'S lACROSSE back home and taking advan tage of playing on our own field." The Irish (23-9) still have a Goal with 12 seconds remaining stuns Irish few road games before they return to Ivy Field. The team heads to Kalamazoo to face Despite establishing a 3-0 lead and ever, that a victory over Ohio State Western Michigan (12-15) today By DAN TAPETILLO holding a 7-4 margin going into the would not be easy. before returning home to face Sports Writer fourth quarter, the Irish fell thanks to a "We felt confident after the first quar Connecticut in the team's Big late 5-1 Ohio State surge. The loss marks ter, but we knew that we had to keep it East opener Friday afternoon. Notre Dame and Ohio State each had Notre Dame's fourth in its last five up," midfield Drew Peters said. "Three Both series are doubleheaders. spurts of momentum on Wednesday at games. goals is not much in lacrosse." So far this season, the Irish are Moose Krause Stadium. But the Buckeyes The early barrage of Irish goals was The Buckeyes fought back in the final batting .266 as a team, with an had the final spurt, as the Irish fell 9-8 to similar to the four-goal onslaught to open minutes of the first quarter and pro- ERA of 1.13 in 32 games. Ohio State in their first Great Western a victory over Hofstra last Wednesday. Lacrosse League game of the season. Players knew even after the goals, how- see BUCKEYES/page 26 see WESTERN/page 24 I"' SMC SOFTBAll MLB WOMEN 3S TENNIS NFL SOCCER NCAA BASKETBALl en w u Saint Mary's ~~iffey plagued by Deventieva def. Rule cha~es United States 1 Okafor reinjured ~ z splits witti Albion InJUry Williams could len hen Poland 0 in practice a: ::5 Since returning home A Russian player took games Connecticut center The 8-12 Belles split a to Cincinnati, Ken advantage of Venus The owners express DaMarcus Beasley Emeka Okafor reinjured =Cl: doubleheader with its Griffey, Jr. has seen his Williams' sprained right concern that instant scored to lift the U.S. to his back in practice but c MIAA opponent. career suffer due to ankle to win in the replay changes could a victory in will play Saturday a.. !; injuries. N asdaq-100 Open. make games longer. Wednesday's exhibition. against Duke. en page 24 page 22 page 21 page 20 page 19 page 19