Issue No 810 Zö /\prii lyy^ iBare ifacts University of Surrey Students' Union Newspaper Wheels are in Motion!

Lord Mayor receives cycling petition

n Tuesday morning at the Civic Of- Ofices in Guildford, the Lord Mayor as presented with a petition of some m_00 0 names in support of a network of cycle paths aiid cycle lanes in and around Guildford. Guidio Geiermann, a Ger- man student studying at Surrey, pre- sented the petition to the mayor, along with an extensively researched report about the feasibility of cycle lanes in Guildford. Beer Price Shock

Also present at the meeting were mem- tudents' Union beer prices are going down. As from today bers of the Guildford Cycle Touring Club S(Friday), all beer will be reduced by ten pence a pint. who have been instrumental in compiling the report and helping to publicise the petition further afield. The announcement at the Cieneral Meeting on Tuesday was met with wann applause by the large crowd gathered outside the Accommodation Office. This will, however, be subject to a weekly review to ensure that the price reduction does not lead to a Copies of both the report and the petition deterioration in other Union Qub services such as the minibus fleet If sufficient will be sent to the relevant committees volume is not being consumed, the prices will revert back to current levels. So the both on Guildford Borough Council and message from Dave Vincent, Union President, is clear: if you want to keep the Surrey County Council for further con- reduction, keep drinking. In an interview with Bare Facts, he went on to say: sideration. llie Lord Mayor confessed "Presidents have been promising for years to reduce beer prices. I am now in a position that, unfortunately, little money is set to be able to do so, so I am." aside for cycling provisions at the mo- fment, but he is hopeful that this petition, showing the strength of support for safer However, some disquiet was expressed about the manner in which the change has cycling in Guildford, will do much to been introduced, as Club committee, the body which runs the bars, was not consulted persuade both the Borough and County about the change. Mark Beadle, one of the student representatives on the committee, Councils to act However, the Council is said: "This is the first I've heard of the decision. While I welcome any cut in the beer already making moves in the right direc- prices, I am mterested to know whether this will have a detrimental effect on other tion - the Bedford Road site (fonner services." Guildford sports centre and now acquired Ian Danter suggested that the five pence levy on polycarbs should be withdrawn as by the Rank organisation) has been given part of the price review. In response, Dave Vincent, sporting jazzy sunglasses which planning permission on condition that he later walked into the meeting of Senate with, spoke against this. He felt that people cycle and pedestrian paths are included would prefer to have the full ten pence reduction and just pay five pence at the in the development. beginning of tlie night and then re-use the glass.

Shown in the photograph (above right) Also at the GM, Sarah Parsons announced that the petition for the improvement of from left to right are Alfred Seber and cycling facilities in Guildford had been presented to the mayor. This would be pursued Roland Seber of Guildford Cycle Tour- now at both borough at county level. Sarah said that the petition had come at an ing Club, the Lord Mayor Councillor opportune time, as the County Council was about to start a campaign to encourage Richard Marks, Keith Paifitt also of the people to use fonns of transport other than cars. Cycle Touring Club, Guidio Geiermann and Dave Vincent, Union President Further good news also came from RAG as Sue Bupari revealed that over £3000 had been raised for charity last tenn alone. Rachel Davison Communications Officer Dave Gent Established 1968 Tfel: (0483) 259275 Fax: (0483) 34749 In this week... This is a copy of a letter sent to the head of University Security last week. Word front the Asylum 4 Culture Shock 7-9 Dear Mr Watling Music Mania 10-11 Video Box 12 I am writing to you to complain about the At the Movies 13 attitude of one of your staff to me, on the Jobspot 14 téléphoné, this aftemoon at around Rag-Time 15 3.0C^m. I was attempting to téléphoné a Personal & Careers 16 friend of mine on campus, and as I do not AGMs & Notices 17 own a touchtone téléphoné, I am unable Clubs & Societies 18 to be connected via the automatic an- Sport 19-20 swering service. From the Editor... i'he views expressed on this page are personal view.s and do not necessarily As you are probably aware, when calling ell, I hope you ali had a good hoii- represent those of the editorial board 259393 for the residences, if you are Wday, I certainly did as things were or the Students* Union. unable to get through, you are advised to ratber quiet on campus, even though I cali 3008(X3. If, when calüng 3(X3800, was stili in the office for three weeks out The Kditor reserves the right to edit you stili cannot get connected, you are of the five. Talking of being in the office, ali letters. told to hold on for assistance. The assis- isn't it just typical that the good weather tance that I received this aftemoon has arri ved now that Tm stuck inside ali Dear Editor started with just being reconnected to the dayl Stili it's net as bad as being stuck answering service for the residences. '^f^^ ter this had happened three times, I trie^^ in the Main Hall or Sports Centre doing In response to the letter in Bare Facts to hold a conversation with yourmember finals. (week 9 last tenn) suggesting that hunt- of staff. ers and other bloodsport fanatics are con- servationists, and saboteurs are not, I Good luck to ali those in the would like to make the following points: On the first cali, I was told to get a middle of exams at the moment touchtone phone, after which he hung 1) The main point to make is that ihe only up. On the second cali, I said I did not A reininder to ali those who aren'tdoing reason that bloodsport enthusiasts would have a touchtone phone, and was told exains - please try to be as quiet as pos- conserve the habitat is so that there re- that there was nothing that could be done sible in the residences so that those who main enough anunals within it for them tohelpme, and was then hung up on. On are revising can get a good night's sleep to murder. This rather defeats the object, further calis, I asked why, when I had (that's assuming of course that they're as animais are an extremely important been connected to Security for assis- not buming the midnight oil doing last part of our habitat, which is why hunt and tance, couldinotgetany; towhichlwas minute swottingi). ftshing sabotage DOES lead to habitat told "I don't know, mate", and then hung protection. upon. When I asked howdifficultit was to connect me to an extension, the ques- 2) If hunters preserve our habitat, then l'm not having much of a response from tion was not even answered and I was why has a group been set up in Ireland course reps al the moment, so if anyone hung up on. On another cali, I was told called Farmers Raising Objections To fancies putting pen to paper for the Alter- "We are Security, notreceptionists." native Prospectus - just a short piece Hunting (FROTH)? They have organ- about your course from the students' ised this group because they are fed up point of view - please feel free to do so with hunters rampaging over their liuid The only conclusions that I can draw and drop them in to me in the Union as and destroying hedges, fencesandcrops, from this are that certain members of soon as possible. and upsetting animais. your staffare unawareof whatassistance^^ In this country there are also many people is, or that there has been some confusion^^ who ban hunters from their land because between yourselves and the people re- Bare Facts will stili be out on Thursday sponsible for téléphoné services within next week even though we have the day they are fed up with hunters wrecking it 3) Anglers also argue that they conserve the University as to how extensions can off on Monday. If anyone is thinking of be dialled when there is no receptionist submitting things for next week's issue it the habitat to excuse their barbarie blood- sport. Yet even the most conscientious presentattheswitchboard. Asihavehad would be appreciated if you could get no problems in the past, I can only as- them in by Friday, especiíüly personáis. angler is not going to thrash about in the water when a line gets snagged and bro- sume that it is thc former. ken. It is lines such as these that birds and other creatures (not to mention It also conceras me that if parents or fam- NUS Demo fishü) get caught on and die a lingering ily are trying to contact studenLs in an death. emergency, they will be met with an This is taking place on Wednesday 4th 4) There are several conservation groups attitude like this aiid will be unable to get May to campaign for better financial (such as the British Trust of Conservation ihrough. support for students. We will be pro- Volunteers) who conserve our habitats viding transport to and from London without killing wildlife. I would appreciate your attention lo this for thiSf so please let either myself or mailer, and would be interested to know Dave Vincent, Union Président, know We should not try and excuse bloodsport what your conclusions are, and any ac- if you would like to go. fanatics by saying ihat they are conserva- tion that is to be taken to prevent this soit tionists. The act of killing wildlife for of ihing happening again. That's ali for now, so take care and keep fun is inexcusable and the sooner blood- reading sports are confined lo the history bocrfcs Yours sincerely. the belter - for our habitat and the wildlife within ìl Nigel Porter Clare Persey Obituaries Latest News from the

Graham Lemon Dept for Education llhough he had only beeii at Surrey for iwo lenns, Graham University Funding Awas well liked by ali who knew him. He was «Uways friendly and willing to help wherever possible. Being some- niversities, including Surrey, have always received funds ihing of an expert photographer, he was an aciive member of Ufrom private quarters such as business and industry, but the newly-resurrected Photosoc, becoming a member of the the amount of private funding has never affected the amount of committee during the autumn tenn. He was also a member of public funding supplied by the Government, until now. the Bare Facts team, always willing to develop films at a moment's notice. Higher Education Minister Tim Boswell has now announced Graham came to study Mechanical Engineering as a Founda- that universities will be expected to rely more on private tion Year Student at Surrey after being invalided out of the funding, not just for research but also for teaching. In other Merchant Navy, where he had been a chief engineer. Graham words, universities like Surrey which make money out of died of a heart attack on 13th Aprii, aged 39, and he will be ventures such as the Research Rark and the Satellite Engineer- sadly missed by us ali. ing Centre are to be penalised; university management will be His family have requested that anyone who wishes to make a forced to rely more and more on business ventures in order to donation in Graham's memory should send it to the RNLI. The maintain a consistently high level of funding. This could also Students' Union is organising a collection and any donations mean that university teaching staff may concentrate more on may be passed to Rachel Davison, Communications Officer. lucrative research projects to ensure the steady flow of money into deparünents, to the detriment of the students they are Morgan White supposed to be teaching. Great idea, Tim! e sadly report the death by misadventure of Morgan L. LEA Grants WWhite, aged 19, a 2nd year Electrical Engineering stu- dent, on March 13th 1994. Morgan was on the Surrey/IJSA n independent survey carried out recently has shown that exchange programme at Michigan State University. A memo- ALocai Education Authorities vary greatly in the levels of rial service was held in Michigan which was attended by financial support given to students. Morgan's sisters, the other Surrey students participating in the exch^ge and his closest friends. The funeral took place in Apparently this report shows that there are striking differences Eltham, London, on Thursday 31st March. More than 200 between LEAs' policies in calculating maintenance awards. people, including school friends and fonner teachers, filled This is hardly news lo students who are forced to go through the church for the simple service. Several contributed their the annual humiliation of declaring ali their Hnancial details, remembrances of Morgan and his action-packed life. Margaret including those of their parents' salaries, mortgages etc, simply Westwood, Deputy Dean, speaking on behalf of the Univer- in order to receive a pittaiice to (almost) live on. Some lociU sity of Surrey, recounted his single-minded determination to authorities even use maintenance awards as a way of making shjdy in the USA and hoped that his family would draw politicai statements conceming the amount of education fund- consolation from the fact that this was an ambition he had ing provided by the Government, by claiming to have run out fulfìlled. of money. Students who should be entitled to receive a grant Morgan was a very likeable person, keen on sports and with do not receive anything and others receive much less than they many talents and abilities. He had a mischievous sense of ought to. humour and was great fun as a companion. He will be sadly missed by ali his friends. Higher Education Minister Tim Boswell, bless him, has said the report needs further careful consideration before deciding what action to take. This, more than ever, shows the need to GRADUATION make maintenance grants standardised around the country and to do away with means testing. Only then will students be really independent instead of having to rely on their parents or JULY 1994 a friendly bank manager for every penny.

ooms are available for graduands and Rachel Davison Rtheir guests for the nights of Thursday 7th Communications Officer and Friday 8th July.

MmmätroiciänH:::: KèlpKnftiSèTW»:::: Booklngs will be taken on WEDNESDAY18 MAY from lOam in the Lower Concourse of the Lecture Theatre Block on a first come, first served basis.

Rooms are limited to 3 per person and subject to an iiittfiSàJiìà^ìid:!; overall limìt of 300. Students may book for 1 or 2 nights wlth payment at the time of booking. Cost is £10 per person per night or £15 with iireakfast. BF deadline: 9,30ain Tuesday The Word From It is very helpful if people submitting an article can type it themselves and lend us the disk • any The Asylum IBM compatible software is helpful. If you t's exam time again. The summer tenn (silent 'inai') has a submit something on disk please also provide a Iring to it that's more damning than the wedding finger paper copy. Accompanying photos are always variety. It's the time of year when I make my annual trek to the welcome. sports hall for apublic humiliation which has nothing to do with sport - nothing about this is sporting - but a good deal to do with More Radio Stars Needed ice cold sweaL Hope springs eternal p^haps, but Spring is strictly finite, and ore than 80 people have signed up for Y FM - Guildford's as soon as those daffodils break cover I know my carefree days Mcommunity radio station on air for four weeks during are numbered. As friends begin to reveal themselves as closet June. Guildford YMCA, which is organising the project, says careerists and the trafficking of lecture notes becomes a profit- it would still welcome new volunteers to join the team. able business I can sense the build up of hostilities behind those summery smiles. I itnow we're not in competition, my head (of Station manager Ken Livingstone says: "We're delighted at the department) tells me so; I know we can all waltz out of here number of mostly young people who've so far come on board with firsts and friendships intact; but still Captain Paranoia with Y FM. The programme schedule is shaping up well, with whispers different. breakfast and evening times well covered, and we're excited at the variety and quality we'll be able to offer. There are, Whilst people talk of x assignments yet to do, and lazy daze oi^^ however, opportunities for iulditional presenters with time sunny lawns before they get 'into revision mode', I get flashe^^P available during the day." of rooms buried under bullet points and index cards. These people are liars, come exam time we all are. The station will carry a healthy mix of speech and music, so Y FM's news team is already out and ali^ut gathering features It's a game of bluff and counter bluff where we all talk fast and material for broadcast in June. There's still room for more walk fast, desperately trying not to be the first to run. I trace it reporters, though, and particularly for those with some relevant back to school and that report jewel the A5, remember that? experience. Highest attainment, no effort I never had one, but there's always someone somewhere who claims they did. Here there's Anyone wishing to find out more should contact the 'gentleman's third' - revered by all (but feared by most), the 'bog standard', the 'yuppie' 2:1 ("I could have got a first Ann Hill or Ken Livingstone at Guildford YMCA but I had a life"), and of course the first itself. That highest of on 0483 32555. all accolades and butt of many jealous jokes (I told a few myself).

UVE FOOTBALL fìCTCON Anyway, this year I refuse to get worked up about them. Exams are the armpits in the tube train of student life and there's no point burying your nose in them. Revision is always a useful deodorant though.

European Cup Mi/ke Read Winners CUP Barclays Out to Woo Disgruntled Students

Wednesday 4th May ^^ arclays is aiming to attract disgruntled students - including Bthose with overdrafts - from other banks and building societies, by offering them special terms which are often only Arsenal v Palma available to freshers. This move breaks with tradition as, for the first time, Barclays is targeting existing students, pre-empting the high street banks' annual student campaigns which normally take place in 7|>m Main Union the summer. Students will be offered the full Barclays student package, including the £10 Our Price voucher if they transfer their account before 31sl May 1994.

Students wishing to transfer dieir existing overdrafts to Bar- clays will be eligible to apply for up to £400 interest free, and XD ?R£MIUM IAG£[< can apply for additional amounts at a preferential rate.

55% voi. The personal sector marketing director said "In addition to Available throtiAout the evenlng advice, Barclays operates one of the most competitive student tariffs, which is an important factor in view of the fact that four for just £1 a bottle in five students are in debt when they leave college." New ÑUS President! SÜEBEY STUDENT

im Murphy, a 26 year old Student from Strathclyde Univer- sity, was elected as the new President of NUS at the 1994 TRAVEL JNUS Conference in Blackpool. He is only the second Scottish SERVICE NUS President in the 72 year history of NUS. Jim, the Labour Student candidate, will succced the outgoing President, Loma Really Really Great Air Fares at Fitzsimons, in June of this year. Surrey Student Travel He has been involved full-time in student politics since 1991 and is currently President of NUS Scotland. Jim is also an All London Departures Return active campaigner for anti-racism and anti-fascism, and for the end of apítftheid in South Africa. He is against graduate tax and £72 has promised to focus NUS campaigns next year on overtuming Aberdeen Belfast Birmingham the 30% cut to the Student grant. He is also strongly in favour Edinburgh Glasgow Inverness £72 of reform of the NUS. Jersey Manchester Newcastle £72 Paris Brüssels Amsterdam £72 Other elected offícials are: Rest of France & Germany £95 Spain Portugal Italy £119 Denmark Sweden Ni £119 Ben Elger from King's College London as National Secretary; lorway Steve Haie from Manchester llniversity as National Treasurer, Finland & Greece £119 I Labour students Shrupti Shah and lan Moss as Vice Presidents Russia Austria Czech £155 Education and Welfare respectively and Simon Charles as Vice Hungary Bulgaria £155 President Further Education and Union Development. Turkey Israel Cyprus £155

Nikki Henninghanl Ali flights are wlth valld ISIC card wlth British Airways. Ali bookings to be made by 15 May 1994 and outbound travei by 30 june with a The run to save young Uves yearly return. Check out these massive savings on scheduied BA Flights. Your seat confirmed Bristol to Moscow 1994 instantly. Book now at SURREY STUDENT TRAVEL SERVICE. n 1986 a team of policemen ran from just outside Bristol to ILand's End (via John O'Groats) and back again. This year they are takhig up the challenge of Bristol to MOSCOW. The 12-man team, accompanied by a back-up vehicle, will be running 24 hours a day and it is planned that the route will be completed in 14 days.

In order to run continuously there are two teams (a day team and a night team) each consisting of 6 runners. Each runner on the team runs aset distance and then passes on to the next runner We are ofTering inclusive prices. AH our in a Constant relay. Each runner is expected to run around 17 services include Mousse or Setting Lotion and miles a day, adding up to an equivalent of 6 marathons in a Conditioner. Set or Blow Wave are included in fortnight! ali Penning and Colouring Services. Shampoo & Set £7.95 The event is in aid of CLIC - The Cancer and Leukaemia in Shampoo & Blow Wave £8.95 Childhood Trust This charity was set up in 1976 in Bristol and Cut & Blow Wave £17.90 although it is weil established in the South West, the aim now Cutting £8.95 is to expand to help children with cáncer and their families ali Re-Style Cutting £10.95 over the UK. The president of CLIC, Mikhail Gorbachev, is Gents Cut, Shampoo & Blow Wave £12.95 helping to extend the charity's activities worldwide. Gents Dry Cut £7.95 Children's Cut £4.50 Now CLIC is asking US to help in this fund raiser. The aim is Ali the following services to include to collect 30,000 pennies (that's just 15p a mile) in order to Set or Blow Wave excluding Cutting "Beat the Coppers to Moscow". This money can be raised in any of the nonnal ways: sponsored events, discos, car boot Semi Permanent Tint £21.95 sales, mile of coins (1/4 mile of 2p = £323) etc. Henna £22.95 Permanent Tint £26.95 Highlights/Lowlights If you're interested in helping to raise money for the run, get £39.95 Permanent Wave in touch with Rachel in the Communications Office. (Inc. Synergy Treatment) £39.95 Hair Straightening £35.00 Kate Jones Remember, you can submit articles and per- Kerasilk Hair Treatment £2.00 sonáis on E-mail but you must ensure your full Rombouts Coffee £0.50 name and Union card number are included Students 25% off 24 Madrid Road with the message. normal prices Tuesday Guildford GU2 5NU Send E-mail on su([email protected] and Wednesday Tel: 440414 Ocean Defender céan Defender is a unique Oconcept under which three separate charities have come to- gether to work in the defence, res- cue and protection of marine mammals.

Earth Kind, International Animai Resene and British Divers Marine Life Resene have joinedup for the project Ocean Defender is a 112 ft 200 ton ex-whaling ship, now being used as a resene vessel for any crìsis that thre^ns marine wildlife in British waters. It has also been equipped as an investigatìon and education centre, with onboard lecture facilities and the capability to carry out re- search in our coastal waters.

British Divers Marine Life Resene was Ocean Defender before going into dry dock for a refît founded in 1989 to use divers to protect ali fonns of marine life. Over the past 4 years they have gained experience from their initial work with seal Ocean Defender colonies in the Wash to the rehabilitation of 3 dolphins retumed Rumane Education Centre to the Caribbean from British dolphinariums. They also worked in the rescue of oiled sea birds in the Braer oil disaster Bounds Green Road last year. B.D.M.LJI. are involved in investigative work that London exposai the illegai killing of dolphins in the Faroe Islands. N22 4EU Tel : 081 889 1595 International Animai Rescue was founded in 1990 and have assisted in the Braer oil disaster and set up the only bird hospital Fax : 081 881 7662 on Malta to care for the birds that are hunted as they migrate over the island.

Earth Kind was founded in 1955 and works towards the protec- tion of ali animais, both wild and domestic. They have been involved in many major animai rights issues from rescuing New Snack Items uncared for domestic pets, to the horrors of international whal- ing.

The ship, Ocean Defender, wasbuiltinOslo, Norwayinl912. Originally she had been built as a whale catcher ship. Añer a short career hunting blue and humpback whales in the Southern atthe Ocean, she was used asa mine sweeper in World War II. Since then she has been used as a trawler and a pleasure boat B.D.M.LJI. first saw her in late 1993, deciding the irony that Servery she should spend the rest of her days defending marine mam- mals after being designed to destroy them was irresistible. They intend to launch ber for a British tour at the end of May.

After the launch on the Thames they will sail up the east coast In addition to our regular to Aberdeen and visit the Shetland Isles, Oikney Seal Rescue Centre, Skye, Cardigan Bay, Comish Seal Sanctuary in South menu, this term we have West Comwall and the Scilly Isles. They also pian to stop at many ports around Britain to enable people to use the education available snack food items facilities. However, their main concern is rescue, and they at very reasonable prices. have promised to break off the tour to immediately attend any crisis situation.

How can you help? The majority of the ship's crew has aiready been sorted out, but they need a continuons stream of people to keep the ship running when she is in port They also need fundraisers and campaigners, and people to keep them in touch with everything that is happening in various areas. For more information contact - nltiXTB M elcome back to another term of Redgrave Theatre, Famham WCulture Shock! Whilst my illustri- Enthralling A^ew ous predecessor gets to grips with the Until 7 May: Noel Coward's family epic Eurocitizen in Brussels, Til be keeping "This Happy Breed". See review. you up to date with what's on in and 30 April: The Redgrave throws open its Onegin around Guildford, just in case you need a doors for a unique behind the scenes op- litüe light relief from the revision. portunity. Everything from rehearsals to ulia Hollander's new ENO produc- lighting will be on display. Call 0252 Jtion of Tchaikovsky's Eugene New Victoria Theatre, Woking 727000 for further details. Onegin opens on a vast, spacious plain where golden skies seem to extend for Thomdike Theatre, Leatherhead miles, and swathes of sultry peasants sing 25 - 30 April: Shakespeare's forgotten as they work and occasionjily break out rock 'n' roll musical, "Return to the For- into funny little sub-Cossack dances as bidden Planet" touches down for a sec- Until 30 April: "A Murder is An- the mood takes them. It all reminds one, ond visit. Dr. Prospero and his nounced" - so you've got to go and see in fact, of one of those awful pieces of roller-skating robot Ariel are marooned this Agatha Christie classic. Soviet socialist realism, and one's heart in space. Only C^^tain Tempest and his 3 - 21 May : "The Winslow Boy" by sinks. The translation by David Lloyd- all-singing, all-dancing spaceship crew Terence Rattigan. Review next week. Jones doesn't help much, either; it is so can save them...Review next week. silly in places that one has to suppress a 4 May: For one night only, the return of On Campus snigger. "Fascinating Aida", with their unique combination of close hannony and satiric rudery. Good if you' ve got sweet FA else Wed 4 May: 1.15pm, PATS Studio 1, These are minor quibbles, however, and to do. Box Office: 0483 761144 FREE Concert; Liszt - Funérailles, Rach- if an indulgent veil is cast over the first maninov - Etude Tableau Op.39/9, Bryan act, one can forgive Hollander anything. Kelly - Trombone Sonatina. Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford The singers have warmed up, and the ball scene - draped all in red as sumptuous as Wed 4 May: 8pm, LTG, Arts Cinema: Tchaikovsky's exquisite music - is truly Until 30 April: "Tosca", Puccini's pow- "The Wedding Banquet". A marriage of delicious. The stage is full and flowing erful opera of politics, passion, jealousy convenience is complicated by jeäous with natural movement; contrast this next and self destruction in a new production lovers, proud parents and the over-effi- with the stark bleakness of the duel (the by Crystal Clear Opera. Review next cient American authorities in this Tai- jetty on the ice-covered lake a triumph of week. wanese American comedy. Tickets simplicity for designer Fotini Dimou) or 2 - 7 May: Delibes' ideal family ballet (£2.00) in advance only from Trading the stylised movement of the haughty "Coppelia", based on Hoffman's tale of a Desk. guests at Gremin's court, where Onegin life-size doll with a soul, combines hu- realises in anguish the mistake he has mour, charming solos and, it says here, a Chris Jones made. Peter Coleman-Wright (Onegin) is sensational score. Presented by the Lon- at his best here, the frustrated lover a don City Ballet. Box Office: 0483 60191 powerfully poignant contrast to the curt flippancy manifest earlier. HOME, BITTER HOME Top musical prize must go to the orches- ome - a word that evokes myriad The eponymous Home of David Storey's tra. Alexander Polianichko brings skills Himages and feelings: friends and play is far from being a place of warmth honed at the Kirov Theatre in St Peters- family, warmth, love, security, happi- and love. It is a home for the mentally burg and eases from the Coliseum or- ness... disturbed, where the inmates relieve the chestra a reading of rare musicality Two dapper middle-aged, middle class boredom by conversing in platitudes and which evidently shows an innate under- gentlemen in polite conversation about hide their fears behind the humdrum ex- standing of this quintessential Russian die weather, that most British of preoccu- change of niceties. But this information Romance. pations. The conversation moves on, is only revealed fully long after we have covering a whole range of trivial topics come to sympathise with the characters, "Eugene Onegin" continues at the Coli- from tlie Garden of Eden to WW3. maknig it all the more unnerving. seum on 27 & 30 April. 3 & 6 May. As Jack and Harry take a brief constitu- This is a highly thought-provoking and moving drama, poignant and funny, and English National Opera is committed to tional before lunch, Kathleen and Mar- making opera both affordable and acces- jorie, belonging to what the men would yet dailcly disturbing. What we see in these people is the human condition, sible, which makes it the ideal choice for undoubtedly call the "lower classes", both opera buff's and newcomers alike. take their places. The gentlemen return to from which, inevitably, there is no es- escort the ladies into lunch. cape. We all hide from the parts of life we For further informalion, call the ENO An idyllic scene, but as Harry and Kath- do not wish to face, and retreat, as the Box Office on 071836 3161, and look out leen's post-prandial chat reveals. Jack is characters do, behind our worlds of ba- for further BF reviews in the coming a compulsive liar, inventing new occupa- nality and "normality". weeks. tions on a daily basis and "in" for follow- Catch it in the West End if you can. ing young girls. More revelations: Andrew K. Wilcock Kathleen is a violent man chaser, Mar- jorie is incontinent. Chris Jones This Little World: This England Misery doesn't love company

ld ciné-iiewsreel hat could be nicer? A pleasant O- a Redgrave idi- Wweekend at home with the Tele- osyncrasy - sets the graph and three films on TV. But Stephen scene for a comedy far Pebble's plans for a lazy weekend are removed from the dashed when his wife announces the im- cocktail and caviar set minent arrival of his daughter's family - one normally associ- a son-in-law whose idea of a good book ates with Noël Cow- is reading the road atlas, a teenage grand- ard; This Happy daughter clever enough to be on Master- Breed is encapsulated mind, and an incontinent dog. As essence of inter-war Stephen complains and drinks his way suburban drabness, through the weekend, (cheating at Scrab- here made all the more ble, but still losing) the inevitable Satur- vivid by accurate at- day evening dinner-party looms ever tention to period detail nearer. Invited are Stephen's best friend in both set and music, (to whom he is not talking), his wife and and a (largely) compe- her reputed lover, with the glamourous tent cast. occupation of chiropodist, and deligh- The action of the play takes place entirely in the dining room of No 17 Sycamore Rd, fully Pythonesque moniker of Hugh Be- Clapham. The years pass, family and friends grow up, get married, die. A veritable dales. Needless to say, Stephen insults or soap opera, in fact, where the flux and reflux of everyday life serves as a vehicle for embarrasses everyone, scHne, admittedly, observational comedy and social comment. What is the place of Frank Gibbons, being more deserving of the vitriol than^ suburban Everyman? Daughter Queenie thinks his lifestyle is common and longs to others. \ escape, whilst son Reg and his hot-headed pal berate him for living off the fat of the land... "Hie Weekend" is Michael Palin's first Only one of this hap^y breed of men lets the side down, viz: Brian Cant, inexplicably stage play, and it could have been written cast as Frank Gibbons, the main rôle. The rest of the cast display a talented ability to for Richard Wilson - typecast he might act; Cant can't. He sounds like he has a mouth full of biscuits even when he hasn't, be, but he is so utterly convincing as the and for some unknown reason has adopted a sort of wandering West country accent, miserable bastard that you camiot con- apparently the only member of the company not to have noticed that the play is set in ceive of anyone else actually playing this sarf London. Despite the best efforts of Susan Jameson, who plays his wife. Cant part. This is light fare, but extremely seems awkward in his scenes with her. This is unfortunate, as it is this relationship well performed, with my only criticism that is the most important, the erne that binds the narrative thread together. Director being that the excellent Angela Thome is Graham Watkins has had some good ideas (the scene where the hap^y veneer under-used as Virginia Pebble. This represented by the jaunty tunes on the radio is scarred by the news of untimely death Yvonne Amaud production has now is particularly memorable and well-handled) but casting Cant was not one of them. transferred to the West End, and if audi- The inhabitants of Camberwick Green were less wooden, quite frankly. ence reaction here in Guildford is any- However, this should not detract from what is an otherwise thoughtful and warmly thing to go by, you may well have to fight enjoyable production. This Happy Breed continues at the Redgrave Theatre, Famham to gel a ticket - believe me, it's worth it. unül 7 May and is well worth seeing. Box 0ffice:0252 715301 Chris Jones Andrew K, Wilcock SEX, LIFE AND VIDEOTAPE elationships. Hate 'em when thepoint. Noaspectofrelationships ( Ryou're in one, desperate for - real or on TV - is left untouched. one when yor not. Like it or not, the All six parts are played by the same entire human race is preoccupied two actors, Richard Ahsam and with one thing - finding somebody Marie Clifford, who show a re- to love. This is just the way it is - a markable eye for detail (their Anne million TV programmes and Mills & Nick/Richard & Judy caricatures and Boon novels can't be wrong, are particularly striking) and a great can they? No surprise, then, to dis- deal of versatility. Azaz also di- cover that Grit Azaz's new play rects, both Uve action and video, "The Big One", is about relation- and combines dance, mime, slap- ships. It's all there - the eyes meet- stick and syinbolic imagery to great ing across the aowded room, the success. In fact, everything about problems of breaking the ice, the this production is clever and inno- first date, etc, etc. But that is just the vative - even the programme is an start.... ruptus" - whilst on the stage Debbie and "Extra Special Useful Book" for re- In this modem age of visual communica- Phil sUTiggle even to say hello to each lationship nee^s, complete with page for tion, it is only natural that Debbie and other. Why is it always so much easier on ñames and addresses of anyone you meet Phil turn to their favourite TV pro- the TV? Everything you ever nœded to at the Singles' Nights every Tuesday, in grammes for advice and information know is here - what to say, how to say it, the hope that they might become your about their burgeoning relationship. First how to deal with your desires and fears. next conquest on the video screen above the stage There really is nothing to iL This ex- "The B ig One" by Orit Azaz, at the Cock- Comes the slush movie romance of "9_ traordinary combination of video and pit Theatre, Gateforth Street, NW8 Winks". Without a word being spoken, live performance is incredibly success- (Maryiebone Tube Station) untií Satur- Laura and David meet, fall in love and ful. The irony of turning to TV for advice day 7 May. Cali 071402 5081 fordetails. into bed and are puffing on the obligatory on real life when nothing on TV is reiil is cigarette before you can say "coitus inter- heightened by the very use of TV to make CHRIS JONES SINS OF THE FATHERS Bouncers

enrik Ibsen fa- ouncers, as the title suggests, is Hthered modern Babout a typical night in the life of drama and an illegiti- four "Door Supervisors" at a dingy mate child by a ser- club somewhere in the north of Eng- vant girl. In his play land. The four members of the cast Ghosts, Captain Alv- portray the bouncers, four local lasses ing is father to an ille- of the dancing-round-their-handbags gitimate child by a type and four of their male counter- servant girl and Pas- parts. The loose story line links a se- tor Manders, a holy ries of scenes, at least some of which father, shuts his eyes anyone who ha.<; been clubbing will be to the real world, put- able to appreciate. This is wit at its ting moralistic ideals most base and crude, most of the lines before truth and em- are funny because they are so gross bodying hypocrisy. and graphic you cannot believe any- Many fathers, but whose is the most heinous sin? one would say them. The shagging The power of this drama is inescapable in Katie Mitchell's RSC production. She takes outside the fire escape scene features as her base point a lively and vibrant translation by Michael Meyer. Many plays and such descriptive conunents as \..he opera are mined by a biuJ translation, but Meyer's is a model of the art. It flows with stands, legs shakin' like a shittin' dog such ease, and displays a remarkable talent for la phrase juste, be it meringue-like ...thousan's uv used durex spread ont' comedy or deep pathos. ground like dead smurfs...'. There are some extremely funny bits; the men's Onto this sturdy base, Mitchell builds up an extraordinarily compelling production loo scene where the four lager louts using punctilious attention to place and period detail and a flawless five-strong cast. are lined up having a slash together, It is Mrs Alving, representing Truth and Real Life, who finally faces up to him. Jane reading Uie graffiti: 'Rearrange this to Lapotaire is superb here, shooting his ideals to pieces with devastatingly-delivered form a well known sentence: Is John a evidence of what happens behind the Christian façade. Lapotaire runs through the Major shit.' and 'Follow this line' repertoire of emotions; her maternal scenes witii Simon Russell Beale (Oswald) are whereupon the tiiickest of the four fol- handled with genuinely touching tenderness. Beale himself, as we have come to lows this imaginary line until his head expect, really lives his part; every twitch of his body, every quaver in his voice, is is somewhere near his knees to read: carefully calculated. In his portrait of a man toni by love, eaten by syphilis and haunted 'You are now pissing on your shoe'. the ghosts of his childhood, Beale is crushingly convincing. Without a doubt there are some crack- This is a perfectly-paced production of poeti^ and poise, showing tellingly the ing lines in this play and some of the paramount importance of the needs of the individual over those of society. The RSC visual gags are funny too; the bounc- goes from strength to strength; this astonishing piece of theatre, made more intense in ers watching ablue movie on aprojec- the close confines of The Pit, is not to be miss^. Barbican Box Office: 071638 8891 tor after woik with the Swedish pom stars being portfayed by two burly Andrew K. WUcock blokes in scruffy DJs standing in front of a strobe was quite amusing. How- In for a Penny... ever, it was not really packed with enough good material to sustain it for '^he City is alive. its two hour length. At times thejokes X Mobile tele- were laboured far too long, with the phones chirp inces- audience being credited with about as sanüy whilst designer much intelligence as the characters. I suits rush to and fro or do not remember hearing a single tap violently onto clever witticism but if crude, rude vul- Computer keyboards. garity is what amuses you üien this David Thacker's Mer- play is worth watching. I saw it at the chant of Venice is New Victoria Theati^, Woking in the high-tech throughout Easter hols, but it is on a national tour and bang up-to-date. finishing at the Edinburgh Festival Perched atop Shelagh and you can catch it at the Wimbledon Keegan's stnking set - Theatre, London from 16-21 May. aU Steel and VDUs - the production re- minds one of Steve Reich's multi-media Kate Ormerod non-opera The Cave whatever the Bard's original intention and stares its religious theme. plements Calder's, making for agoniz- may have been, it is important that the For, let US not forget it, The Merchant of ingly tense high drama play be seen, that we be made to feel Venice is a tale of religious nuolerance. Add to this Christopher Luscombe's This works both ways, it has to be said, uncomfortable. The lessons of historical camp carneo as an effete Gobbo and but I certainly felt uncomfortable with intolerance must be writ large and con- Marie Lockyer's cheeky, streetwise Gra- the play's inherent anti-semitism. This stantly rehearsed if we are to leani them. tiano and you have more than your raises the question of whether it is appro- If that were not reason enough to send money's worth. And TU stake apound of priate to stage such a play today, and you rushing to the Barbican, let me tell my own fiesh on that... whether Shakespeare was perpetuating you that this is a simply superb produc- The Royal Shakespeare Company's Mer- or (as Alexander Pope would have had it) tion - so enjoyable and gripping that three chant of Venice is in repertory at the exploding a stereotype. These matters hours simply fly past leaving you wish- Barbican Theatre. Full details from the could be argued at length, an indulgence ing for more. Box Office on: 071 638 8891 not permitíed me in the short space of this Shylock's foil in the courtrocMn scene is, review. Suffice it for me to submit that. of course, Portia. A stunningly powerful Andrew K. Wilcock performance from Penny Downie com- 10

ow are you? Did you enjoy your Hholiday? I sure did, as you will see elsewhere in this issue, the only draw- back is I've got tons of stuff to present to you. There is a review of NIJS Ents Con- vention, a competition and millions of records!

NUS Ents gctKed By:r Chris Pye Convention

'T^his annual event to promote up and Oasis are one fine band, and they proved A. coming bands, agents and ents re- this on the Sunday evening of the con- lated companies to our Student Union vention, it was just a shame that more Off The Record ents staff old and new, took place over a people didn't see them. The band's cur- very drunken weekend in April at the rent single charted last week in the 30s. OU want new bands ? Brit- Oxford Brookes University. A delega- These might play here soon, so watch this ain's got 'em fînally. tion of five went from Surrey, including space. My Life Story are a band I like, Steve Herman (old) and Si Francis (new). due to the variance in style. They have an orchestra on stage playing live. However, After 1993, when the UK failed to pro- duce much of interest (apart from the The event is one major give-away, I came there were a few ents bods that didn't really appreciate them. Filially Blink, a dance world, where Underworld, Orbital, ( back with twice as much as I went with, Eat Static, Fluke and Sabres mled the and have decided to give some of it to band that have performed here at Surrey this year. I was more sober when listen- roost), suddenly there are bands with you, so check out the competition below. ability and attitude worth getting excited Talk about free records, 1 had them com- ing to Blink this time, and enjoyed their performance more. The only bit I didn't about Forget the lazy tagging of any- ing out of my ears. Free beer! Six free thing new as "New Wave of New Wave" botUes of Stella Dry ain't half bad. like was a song that featured a sample of a 2 Unlimited song, which sounded aw- and tune into the real ability of bands like ful! Compulsion, Baby Chaos, Sulphur, Rub Ultra, Headswim, Whiteout, u-Zig, Sleeper and S*M* A*S*H, to name but a few. Groups with a real sense of what music should be about adrenalin, excite- ment and adventure - forget musical abil- ity and rember what thrills you about it / * • music. Apathetic? Shake that apathy off and go and see these bands and more in the Union, buy their records and steal the T-shirts from your friends' backs.

The bands over the two nights were Honky, Hyper Go-Go, Freak Power, Oa- ©TDK sis, My Life Story and Blink. On the Comedy whole these went down quite well, unfor- tunately 1 can't read the notes I made, and ON CAMPUS was rather drunk to remember the finite ^ I "'here was a small perfonnance one details. X afternoon by some comedians that are currently doing the campus circuit Marvin Hanglinder is outrageously tal- From the rap scene, the early signs are Honky were in my opinion average, but ented, playing the piano and fiddle and good with Credit To The Nation gaining would be alright for a Sunday night band. turning it into comedy. Have you ever Top 20 status with Teenage Sensation Hyper Ck>-Go have been around for a heard Neighbours in the style of and Kaliphz, who took The Word by while now, having a few hits along the Beethoven or The Magic Roundabout in storm widi "Vibe De Joint". No more can way, but these were a little under par on the style of Tchaikovsky? These off the we snigger at the overshaddowing influ- the night. Freak Power, DJ Nonn (book's cuff suggestions by the audience showed ence of the US on UK rap. band are getting a lot of publicity for their Marvin at his improvisational best. Spon- records, but according to Si Francis they taneous Combustion are very, very were below par on the night The indie scene, which was fwactically amusing, a four piece outfit, that tell im- dead last year, is suddenly blooming provisation stories in a unique style. We again with the aforementioned heard about Paddington Bear having sex S*M*A*S*H, Baby Chaos, Sleeper, Sul- with his girlfriend in Macclesfield on a phur and along with Echobelly, These street comer. Totally hilarious! Let's Animal Men, Scheer (see next week's hope comedy will take off here at Surrey issue for more) and Oasis all looking soon, so we can get acts such as these primed for success. onto the main stage. 1994's going to be a good year so get up, That was NUS Ents Convention stand up and go and see the bands! Check out Sunday nights in the Union, or you 94, a totally enjoyable event will miss some of the stars of the future! A pril/May Ents Planner

APRIL Thursday 28 Ents and PVC presents Substandard Issue in the lower bar Friday 29 Draw Disco, Featurinq Bjorn Aaain, see posters for Details Saturday 30 Club Nation, weekiy dance club in the lower bar MAY .Sunday 1 Free Band Fekisho 'Monday 2 Free Band The Big Truth Thursdc^ 5 Indie night in the lower bar Friday o Fridav Night Out, £1 on door, 8-2am Saturday 7 Club Nation in the lower bar Sundc^ 8 Free Band Suns of Ai^o Thursd<^ 12 Happy Banana Club in the lower bar Friday T3 Fridav Night Out, £1 on door, 8-2am Saturday 14 Club Nation, weekiy dance club Sunday 15 Free Band Weddings, Parties, Anything + support Wednesdcv 18 Comedy night in lower bar, £2 on door Thursdqyl 9 Rock night in the lower bar Friday 20 Fridav Night Out, £1 on door, 8-2am I Saturday 21 Club Nation in the lower Bar Sunday 22 Free Band the Big Corporation Thursd^ 26 Friday ;!27 Free Festival Saturday 28 See press/posters Sunday 29 for details Monday 30 Eveiy Thursday. there is a lower bar club» night with a dîfferent style of music, it runs from Spm tili 1 am Eveiy Saturday, Clut> Nation hits the lower bar providing a weeldy dance c^ub, it runs from Spm tili 2,am Tickets for aJl the club nights are available from the Trading desk, £1 in advance, .50 on the door. OFU Films for May 8/9 Indecent Proposai 15/16 Démolition Man 22/23 True Romance 29/30 The Assassin Friends of Asia Society present IMTIAZ MIRZA & PARTY (Winner of the Channel 4 Ghazal Contest) on Saturday21stMay, 1994 y.OOpm till 12.30am at The Chancellor's Restaurant and Banqueting Suite University of Surrey, Union House, Guildford GU2 5XH Ticket Price £12 - including Dinner

Supported by SHAWL & DUPPATTA CENTRE 787 Romford Road, Manor Park, London E12 5AN Telephone: 081-478 3366 Smart Dress Sdturddy 30 Aprii ì Club Nation iasguì Itfeekiy Dance Club in the Lov/er Bar 8-2am 30 M - 6 Mdy - Wedcl £1 in advance V y V £1.50 on door J

Suncldy Mdy ^ Monddy 2 "" May Day Bank Holiday 4 Free Band: Fekisha Free Band | OFU: no film this weel( The Big Truth V J V J

luesddy 3 Wednesddy 4 Folk Club Private Party in the Lower Bar Lower Bar i 8-11pm V J V J

^ Thursddy 5 Friddy 6 Indie Night Friday Night Out in the Lower Bar £1 on the door 8pm - lam 8pm-2am - the Union V J V y 11

A reminder of certain noise terrorists like CRANIUM HF - Kerbdog and Prong all the way up to the legendary Nirvana. 2CV explains the tail Summer Rain of a journey down a country lane by lead singer Butty. This is techno with attitude. Cranium HF are taking the world of dance into another "I stopped to give this guy a lift He kept dimension giving techno faces, bollox, twitching and mumbling about how I was and attitude. They have been around for mad to pick him up because a dangerous a couple of years, building a nice collec- prisoner had just escaped from jail down tion of critical acclaim from the music the road. I was petrified." Sulphur can industry - "a significant lesson in the write good meaningful songs, "Believe" application of technology as a means of is all about a relationship that has gone progression - instead of repetition" Mel- wrong. Look out for Sulphur, their cata- ody Maker. Summer Rain is one to listen GALLIANO - to and decide for yourselves, but I like it! Long Time Gone clysmic noise could reacii you soon! 8 Yet another fine release from the excel- lent Galliano ! A band which has the vibes to be very successful, but something KALIPHZ - Vibe De Joint about this release suggests it may not be MUTHA'SDAY OUT- just yeL Long Time Gone has the sound Locked An excellent song that has taken to the of sweet soul with some mainstream pop clubs like an alcoholic student to a bar. If thrown in for good measure. Give it a you have been to a club recently then you listen and jugde for yourselves. will have heard this track. It has the aura of a decent rap track designed for the 8 clubs.

GOOD 8 STRAWBERRIES - A Affro Dizzy Jack THISÍÜNDAY This band is from the small town of Batesville, Arkansas, where MTV is NIGHTS BfIND banned by religious town leaders. Their O' music is an intense mix of grunge/grind/rap and metal, a furious re- action to the dominance of religion, country music and rigidity of their sur- '' I ''his weekend sees not one night of roundings, this, together with the youth X bands but three! On Friday as you of the band (average age is eighteen), will be aware, we have got Bjom Again pours out in a form of vital aggression. at the Draw Disco, Sunday night sees "Locked" is a fine tune that needs more dance music with a raw street sound, with promotion to be a hit! Fekisha - an excellent band with vibes! On May Day The Big Truth are perforai- ing. These are a superior 6 piece outfit 8 mixing R&B, '60's soul and pop in the manner of a North London Van the Man/Hothouse Flowers. Previously SENSER - Stacked Up known and perfonned here as the Big This release sub-titled "More Bottle Than Truth Band, a fave for Rag's All Day a Milkman's Float" with Apollo 440 cur- Blues. dlings sees it's third attempt to reach the shops across the nation. The band are just Check out the latest mix of mu.sic this about to take on a college tour with The weekend for free on Sunday and Mon- Ministry Of Sound. Affro Dizzy Jack has day! floated around for about 18 months and has previously been reviewed in Music Mania twice. This time though, the mixes are better and the sleeve looks finished, Competition combined with the fresh blend of deep sub-sonic ambient house and the tough- et another wonderful giveaway est breakbeats, Affro Dizzy Jack could This, the debut album from rap/hip hop Ycourtesy of BF and Streets Ahead. reach you soon! Well worth a listen. artistes Senser, has finally arrived. Simply name the new "Sulphur" single "Stacked Up" comes less than a year after and send your entry to Streets Ahead, 8 their debut single "Eject". Senser ma- Granville Park, London SE13 7EA, to lured during 1993 on the festival circuit arrive by 19th May for your chance to and have progressed and diversed since. win a Streets Ahead goodie bag! Con- If you are into rap and hip hop then check tents include the Credit to the Nation CD SULPHUR - 2CV this out. album "Take Dis" and Blur's "Girls and Boys" Pet Shop Boys remix DJ-only 12" Sulphur are smokin' hardcore pop ac- single which is not coimnercially avail- cording to Ian Gittins of Melody Maker. able, plus lots of other goodies. 12

^ SfS «f» **** So good it should be The Video Box banned *** Worth a look ** Use stimulants * Use the bin I '^his week, in a departure from the would happen less. It is also worth men- Man Bites Dog X norai, I have àecideà to review two tioning that nursery schools have been excellent fiUns which will almost cer- proven to improve educational and social (C'est arrive près de chez tainly be withdrawii from video librar- skills in those who attend, and perhaps vous) (18) **** ies/stores when the new rules for video better education would niake children censorship corne into play. The hysteria less gullible. Anyway, back to the films: Starring Benoit Poelvoorde, Jac« about violent fiIins has been aggravated queline Poelvoorde Pappaert, Remy beyond reason by a number of recent Belvaux. Dir. Remy Belvaux, Andre events. These include ill-informed com- Henry: Portrait of a Bonzel, Benoit Poelvoorde. ments by high court judges and a ten- dency by certain politicai parties to iry to Serial Killer (18) **** focus attention away from the real causes hot in black and white in a documen- of violence (eg poverty and unemploy- 89 míns, Starring Michael Rooker, Stary "Cinema Venite" style, this un- ment) which they have failed to address. Tracy Arnold, Tom Towles. Dir. John usua] nim is presented as a documentary Psychologisls have never proven a causal McNaughton. on your average serial-killer-in-the- link between screen violence and real street. Documentary maker Belvaux fol- violence, although recently a group who ased on the confessions of Henry Lee lows Benoit around on his daily rounds, have done studies in this area have, with- BLucas, this powerful cult film has for trying to fathom bis motives and his out new evidence, discarded their pre- years been refused a video release due to Strange personality, while Benoit gives vious conclusions and claimed that a link its extreme violence, but, after being some good Ups on serial killing along probably exists. I generally agrée - vio- hacked by the censors, most of it is ñnally with his own personal prefwences for lent people probf^ly do like to watch (and probably temporarily) available. A victims (eg he likes to do a postman to violent films, but banning them will not morose drifter comes into the household start off the month). Belvaux and his change anything, just as banning shaven of Arnold and Towles, telling conflicting cameraman soon start to become more heads and bovver boots will not stop stories of how he killed his mother. Ar- and more involved in their topic, and racism. The other argument the David nold tries her best to connect with her even find themselves helping. This Walton lobby aiways use is that young melancholy visitor, but it is Towles who sounds pretty sick and, in fact, it's very children may be affected by on-screen really discovers what makes him tick, Sick, but this is balanced by the seriously violence. This may well be true, but the and he soon becomes embroiled in funny script and general air of black hu- fact they are allowed to watch this kind Henry's sick world, even to the point of mour. You don't half feel guilty for of film indicates a lack of parental conU'ol disgusting Henry himself. Superb per- laughing, though. which is much more likely to have a formances from the three leads, and negative influence on their child's social McNaughton's stylish visual sense only Karl. altitudes than any violent vid. Perhaps if add weight to this supremely disturbing, there was adequate child care and nursery relentless and unexploitative vision of schools available to every child, this murder for murder's sake. Not for the nervous. The OFU sort-of-tall-thingy e'reback. We'rebad. We've stili got our rather comy On Wednesday next week, we show the first Arts Cinema Film, Wsense of humour (see title to this week's column). We 'The Wedding Banquet'. A gay Taiwanese living in New York have a stunning, star-packed string of superb movies for you is hassled by his parents, who want some grandchildren. So, to this term, not lo mention a terrifie ireat of Aris films. get them off his back he arranges a marriage of convenience with a Green Card-seeking girl called 'Wei-Wei' (pronuncia- First up on the OFII front is 'Indecent Proposai' on 8th/9ih May tion uncertain.) He thinks everything is sorted, but alas, his with Demi Moore and Robert Redford. Would you hire your parents insist on coming to the wedding, and cultural chaos wife out for a large sum of money? vSo would 1 if I had one -1 ensues. think. Other Arts films this tenn are "Manhattan Murder Mystery", Following that is 'Démolition Man' with Sly Stallone as a cop "Farewell my Concubine", "Naked", Manin Scorsese's "Age of chasing a violent criminal in the future, amongst a population Innocence", "Mediterrraneo", "The Hour of the Pig", and "Cin- with Zen-like beliefs. Following that we . ema Paradiso". have 'True Romance' and then Bridget tu« Fonda in 'The Assassin'. On 5lh/6th June we will be showing 'Sleepless in Seattle' (l'm sure you've ali heard about it) followed OFU season tickets for ail eight closely by 'The Finn' with Tom Cruise, who nims are £7.50, available from the discovers that his new boss is involved in mob violence. Next up is ' Addains' Family trading desk. Tickets for individ- Values', a more popular sequel, aiìd our last uai films are £1.90, or £2.00 if re- offering of the tenn is 'Man WiUìout a Face', served with the House Officer. which has Mei Gibson as boUi actor and Until next time, director. Fowdered Toast Man 13

AT THE MOVIES With Pete 'n' Phil

Odeon, Epsom Road - Friday 29 April for 7 Days.

Screen 2 : DEADLY ADVICE (15)

ood to see a low-budget British offering getting a wide Screen 1 : Grelease for once, but it doesn't seem that this black SCHINDLER'S LIST (15) comedy will do much to revive the fortunes of the UK film industiy. Jane Horrocks plays a womaii visited by the ghosts of famous mass-killers who persuade her that murder is the '"l^he (near) masterpiece that we all knew Spielberg had in only way to get shot of her tyrannical mother. A nice idea X him, and which has brought the superlatives and récog- which is pooriy executed by director Mandie "Blackadder" nition from his peers that he so richly deserves. His portrayal Fletcher. Poo-pooed by preview audiences, this looks as if of the Holocaust and in particular the story of Oskar Schin- it will be dispatched quickly to video, where perhaps it dler - a man who used his position as a trusted Nazi party should have started life in the first place. member to rescue Jews from the gas chambers - is depicted with almost unbearable intensity but hardly ever contrives to exploit its audience. Hardly the ingrédients for an uplift- Daily at 1.25 3.50 6.15 8.40 ing evening, butessential viewing nevertheless.

Fri/Tues-Thurs 2.10 7.00 Sat-Mon 3.30 7.30 Screen 3 : STRIKING DISTANCE (18)

THE ARISTOCATS (U) typical Bruce Willis vehicle. Here, the podgy, un- Ashaven and balding one seems to be related to most of y no means a classic, but includes some of those infec- the Pittsburgh police department, and still manages to piss Btious jazzy melodies that Disney is renowned for. Songs most of them off by claiming that a serial killer is a cop. He such as (altogether now!).."Thomas O'Malley - dum dee dee finally ends up on the River Rescue Squad, which is the cue dum dum - O'Malley the alley cat.." for spectacular boat chases - as opposed to the spectacular car chase that starts the movie. And, of course, the identity of the real killer is obvious to everyone except Mr Willis - Sat-Mon at 1.40 only but that's the way these things go. As aii actionfest, it's pretty second rate but, none the less, enjoyable. It still proves, however, that Willis can hack it as a tough, wise- cracking action hero, but only when he has a good script.

Screen 4 : SHADOWLANDS (U) Sat-Mon 6.15 8.40 Fri, Tues & Thürs 1.25 3.50 6.15 8.40 n archetypal British film. This is the superbly played Atrue and ü^gic story of the romance between C.S. Lewis and Joy Gresham. Anthony Hopkins plays Lewis - the writer BEETHOVEN'S SECOND (U) of the Naniia books and a man who has his own life under such control that he can never be touched or hurt by the real lapstick and doggie plops are the order of the day in this worid - and Debra Winger plays Gresham - an American Ssequel to the hit kiddie comedy. woman who is the complete opposite, spirited, unconven- tional and open. It's a real tear jerker of course, but some- Sat-Mon at 1.25 & 3.50 how still uplifting, thanks to the understated direction of Richard Attenborough and the acting of just about everyone involved. Hopkins yet again proves himself to be one of the CARLITO'S WAY (18) few actors around who can express so much, while seeming K) remain expressionless. rian De Pahna and Al Pacino reunite after the violent Band unintentionally laughable "Scarface" and once Dally at 1.15 5.25 8.15 again \ry to produce a gangster epic. This one, however, is more successful. Pacino is Carlito, a recently released mob- ster trying to go straight, but caught by his past into helping (the excellent) Sean Penn - playing a smarmy lawyer. Set in 1975, it captures the fashion, music and feel of the times Enquiries/Credit Card bookings: Guild- perfectly. All of De Pal ma's excesses are here - flashy ford 578017, Advance box office open show-off visuals, slick violence and ideas stolen from other films. It's also a little too long, at almost two and a half 2pm-7pm. Student discount available hours. Mon-Thurs before 7pm (with NUS or ISIC card only). Weds 4 May only -1.45 5.00 8.00 14 Job

of the year, energetic, fit and hardwork- DISCLAIMER About Job Spot... ing people aged 20-35; good teamwork- ers, able to interact with all types; fully If you wish to advertise a vacancy on All students please note: the Job de- mobile, holding clean driving licence; a tails on this page are the only infor- this page which is suitable for students desire to offer first class service to others. please drop me a line at Bare Facts in mation we have and the Students' If you think you have what it takes, con- Union accepts no responKÍi)iiity for the Students* Union. The service is free tact Leigh Brook on 0895 231313. to advertisers. the validity of joi)s detailed on this page. It is up to each individual to Prime Health Ltd Planet 24 Television Production cliecli out the validity of each jol) Trainee Scheme when applying. We would be inter- Are you looking for part-time or evening ested to know if any Jobs turn out to work? Prime Health is one of the UK's he bogus so that we can ensure the Top independent TV production com- fastest growing specialist health insurers. company is not advertised again on pany Planet 24 is taking on two graduate We require Telesales staff to join our this page. Thank you. production trmnees from universities and DSF Telesales Team based at our Head colleges. Programmes produced by Office in Guildford. You will work as flights available. For further details con- Planet 24 include Big Breakfast and The part of a small team, making appoint- tact Lupe Castro on 071 240 2888 orEd Word. Planet 24 is an equal opportuni- ments for our Sales Force to go out and Bentham on 071 584 9696 or write c/o ties employer welcoming people from all sell our products. In return we offer an Hurón University, London Champús, 3/5 backgrounds, interested in people with hourly rate of £4.50 plus bonus, paid Palace Gate, Kensington, London W8 wit, originality, talent and the capiuiity holiday and full tiuining programme. 5LS. for lots of hard work. The successful Please telephone for more information & applicants will spend a year from Sep- application form on 440550 (The Person- Volunteer in the West Bank in 1994 tember 1994 at the Planet 24 offices in nel Dept, Prime Health Ltd, Wey House, London as a production trainee on a sal- Famham Road, Guildfoid GUI 4XS). ary of £13,000 with 4 weeks paid holi- Birzeit University's Student Council or- day. Write for an application form, by ganises woriccamps at the campus near Thursday 5th May, to Mary Durkan, Per- BUNAC Ramallah, West Bank. Two camps take sonnel Manager, Planet 24, Norex Court, place between mid-July and mid-Sep- 195 Marsh Wall, London E14 9SG. Have the most exciting sununer of your tember lasting about two weeks. Day life this year working in the USA or trips and visits will be included as well as local projects such as land reclamation. Bar/Catering Staff • Spectrum Canada on a well-organised BUNAC scheme. Hundreds of paid summer jobs Food and accommodation are provided plus camp jobs on offer in all states. For free but you must pay for your own flight. The counuy's leading contract caterer more details come to tiie Union stall For further details and application forms requires part-time staff to work at their lunchtimes until May 2nd. Or 6.30pm in write to Joanne Aylmer, Middle East flagship operation in Guildford at week- LTB is your last chance to get on board. Programme, World University Service,' ends and during holidays. We offer com- There will be a big orientation and a 20 Compton Terrace, London NI 2U or petitive rates of pay, free use of many chance to meet other people doing the tel 071 226 6747. leisure complex facilities after an initial same this summer. For all current Siurey period and meals while on duty. Pre- BUNAC members intending to go to the Short/Intensíve Courses in Spanish vious catering experience is preferred but States, attendance at the orientation is a not essential as long as you are able to compulsory part of the scheme. See you New study courses at the University of prove you can work as part of a team in there in the sun this summer, a fast moving environment. If you are of La Laguna, the University of Tenerife in smart appearance and keen to work in a the Canary Islands. The programme in- busy catering operation, please apply in Reed Employment cluding courses in Spanish language and writing to Alison Patrick, Compass Serv- culture begins in July and runs for 10 ices (IJK) Ltd, Guildford Spectrum, Typing and other office skills? Experi- weeks. Each course is for two weeks Paikway, Guildford GUI lUP. ence of waiting tables? Want some tem- with an extensive range of optional lei- porary woilc? Call Katie Pink at Reed sure activities. For further details and Employment on 300428 or call into 64 price list write to Universidad de la Coca-Cola & Schweppes Beverages High Street, Guildord. Laguna, Plaza del Adelantado, La Ltd Laguna, Tenerife, Spain. Environmental Projects - Tenerife, Have you got what it takes? We are Travel Teach looking for first class, highly motivated Summer 1994 individuals to take up temporary posi- tions as Field Merchandisers, helping us Volunteers are needed for environmental The chance to travel and work in Central to improve and maxunise the visibility projects in Tenerife, such as restoring and Eastem Europe without prior experi- and availability of CCSB brands within vineyards, renovating agricultural dwell- ence of teaching English or TEFL quali- specific outlets across the UK. We are ings etc. Accommodation in the moun- ficatíons. For furüier details write to offering up to £250 per week. We need tains provided at a cost of £30 per week Tmvel Teach, Freepost, NT 2752, New- ability to work full-time at various times inclusive of breakfast. Discounted casüe Upon Tyne NE2 IBR or tel 091 212 0792. The Easter Raffle winners were:

Teddy Bear - Tristi the Union Cashier Rabbit-Mr.Whitehead Mini ££¿5 • Sister Daniefs Harpers Ticlcets - Mrs. Harwood Roses E&& - Dot from Elee Ené. Rhino - Ann Kehoe Sienna Chocs - Melante Brìtan Choc Sauce - Rachel CHonest?) Davison Smarfies E£i - Uicky Williams Mints-Mr.Wakile Milk Tray • Karen Ealiné BK Uouchers • D Morrìson Jurrasic EèSi - Emma Brìsfow Romantic NoveI - Harry Sutheriand Easter Cake • Linda from the bank Stron^how T-Shirt - Simon from Crew 3 Glasses • Marten Uan-somethiné

Corning Soon... We Don*t know, Any suggestions welcome! Fin dT ie msi SI ngW ords! B E E R F R G W R P S A V j 0 R Vodho Lager R A C S P P A N H C S H C A E P Bmmr A D C S N I G F U B s C V G K T N P F A D E F H J S D X N S B V Brandy BocordI And Cekn D M I F R H S V E Z W A L N T H Honrey Ulollbongnr Y U F V C D 0 N S P B I W A E Z PsQchSchnopps Q P E T W T I M V L R E N K A S Snoknftiln D H 0 J 0 U F A L Q N P N E R K Guinnss Martini M C I L G F D A N R U F F B U P Molotov S A 0 T E J W R E D J N V I M Q ScoUh D M R J 0 Y S H N Z C 0 0 T V C mino F 0 R T E M F B K P F 0 D E X C Thi* wardsMrch la tMt »jin t* lUcKi«* Tim Boat. We H L K D I tak« M r—yrtWIitir far aay 0 T A V I W S C 0 0 C prtaM w* mMj Mt «Ifar. Ali cwg—yamlaiifia wiU bc F S R L U N B 0 Y B P U A E J D cw—lOMlaoily bunt. EaU Iw CMUMt bc rcturacd (uni«« J A M H W Y I w H I P P I N G E SM cJba^M te rag H K J W B C D E B V X L A G E R 16

n To all those doing finals, lots of luck n Danish MeatMachine - You're a fa- n Fluffybunnykins saw Trev letting from the Dingly Dell Danglers (Can- ther! But does your son Damien rec- down the tyres on Uie invalid car- vey Branch) ognise Guildford cathedral? I think riages outside the Fish Club AGM. n JD - how much grass in my knick- so. H From the DIW ex. 261 : Large onions ers?! n Trev was caught rubbing linseed oil vaporise the eyes, YOU know!?! H Forever Friends-LOOK into the University cormorant. G Men's Lib - The worm has tumed, n n Nigel 6 Nigel 2 watch this space! n n Chandy - Happy 21st Birthday - love Bby: They make my day - keep them n Eddie C is the candy man of Stag coming! Jim XXX HiU! n VJ.P.W. : Moose alert! Craig Luu made a rather nice pizza from the remains of Uie meat at Blag- n Nigel 7 n Zm.4220 Seven and a half waiting for don. Trev went and scoffed the lot! H F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! Bby J in B 0+B. HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY JACKIE - n Compton 7 - teach me decadence. Q Nigel, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do with love from Sarah, Louise, Nicki, Just how many invites do you need? it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, Sarah & Clare n Pollyanna - you may be on a diet but ' do it, do it. Does the hay diet include rolling in I don't really Uiink roUing in Uie hay n JD - revenge is sweet - P xxx could offïcially be classé as exer- it?!! cise! You tartyou!!! The meet at Blagdon was cancelled n Was that Nancy Kolsaker spraying after Arbuthnot Larkworthy wore his deodorant over the hot dog stand in 'CAREERS SERVICE* Jayne Torvill horror mask whilst un- Uie High Sueet? locking the stable doors, ÏX W-M-H Low mileage (for now). STUDENTS WANTED n Nigel 6 Great rear view 0+B n The BLOATOID is back. Spiff, n AltemS: Charly says "Always tell the BY SHL you'd better watch your back. I'm Prodigy before you go off some- armed and dangerous, where especially if she's Satanic! FOR TRIAL RUN OF NEW n Lisa - my turn, my turn! P n Nigel 7 PERSONALITY TEST The Perfect C.V. ON WEDNESDAY 18 MAY ctually, I've cribbed the tide for Uiis article from a book with the same name. In Afact, there really is no such tfiing as a perfect C.V. because there are no rules about AT 2 p.m. what you can or can't put in it. I've been collecting C.V.'s for years and they are all different. One of them is presented in Uie form of a cartoon strip, another one has a DM LTB picture of someone trapped inside a bubble wiUi the caption underneath "untapped potentiiU". SHL PROVIDE MANY OF THE TESTS What could you do to produce your own unique C.V.? The first question you should NOW USED IN SELECTION FOR ask yourself before putting pen to paper is "What do I want this to look like"? That EMPLOYMENT depends entirely on the kind of position you intend to apply for. If it's for a job in advertising then you have to express something of your aeativity in Uie way it looks. - FEEDBACK WILL BE GIVEN You can afford to be different, bizarre even. For someUiing in engineering on the - PAY; £10 oUier hand you would be advised to go for a more formal presentation laid out along traditional lines. IF INTERESTED, PLEASE REGISTER WITH THE CAREERS SERVICE The next question is "What do I want to say about myself? I've seen 5-page C.V.'s wiUi Uie person's life history on it Bearing in mind the average C.V. gets about 2 minutes of an employer's time this doesn't seem like a good idea. So, you have to ^CAREERS SERVICE' emphasise only those Uiings which are relevant to your application. If you've done a Professional Year, for example, you should give Uiis greater prominence on your C.V. than other more casual jobs. If you are going for degree-related employment you Don't forget to should provide a breakdown of your course which emphasises the relevant subjects you have covered. Basically you've got to anticipate what Uie employer wants to read and leave out the irrelevant This could mean it ends up on one page. A two page C.V. is OK as well. Three pages is probably too long. RECYCLE

I'll write more about C.V.'s next week, especially about how to use Uiem for (Bam if acts job-hunting. In the meantime, if you want us to check over your C.V. we'd be glad Pmer bins in the to. Union and all Russ Clark court receptions. Careers Service 17

NOTICES AGMs The University of Surrey Symphonic Wind Band Syniplionic Ulnil KuikI \C,\Ì ut (HI Wi'dnesday wu-k 2 in presents: A concert of music by Verdi, Rimsky-Korsakov, W.C. Hardy and many PA IS Snidi«) 1. more on Wednesday of Week 3. 11th May 1994 in PATS Studio 1. GCR AGM - TTiursday Sth May at A sponsored assault course competition S]jiii ill the Ntlsoii Mandela Kmini.

Is taking place at the Calvary Barracks in Hounslow on Sunday 8th May 1994 to raise money for the Low Pay Unit, which works with the low paid. They are looking for four-member teams to take part See Rachel for entry forms. EGMs l>hut VilM:& Club E<;M on Mtmdav Do you have time to spare in Week 6? Vtli Ma> ^Meek iì at 6.i5|ini in the miln Uniun In front of thu sUj^e. Do you want to do something rewarding? Then we are looking for YOU!!! Playsoc will be holding a meeting on Friday 29th April at 1pm in the Barclays Room. If you Iluke iiT Kjlinhup^h SfKiety ECM want to get involved with the Half Term or August Playschemes, then please come - un I'uesihiy tOlh M:i> (wctk J) t'ar mast have one bv week 8 of Escort, 1.3 Limited Edition, 1986/C, 3 door, sunroof, alarm, spoiler, MOT, taxed, this term. Don't TorRct it new tyres, £1250 ono. Tel Rajpal Deol on Woking (0483) 776826. must he advertised Tor two full weeks In advance* Dramasoc

We are still looking for two people, preferably one male, one female, to take part in two short plays by Alan Ayckboum and Daniel Clucas. Anyone interested should contact me through the Drama pigeon hole ASAP. Students Union

Chris Jones, Vice President S is for Snake... Quick Copying Service

or those of you who have just happened to look up Fwhilst in the Union recently, and just in case you were Offset Printing and Binding wondering, the pink and black snake hanging in the roof belongs to RAG. It's their new mascot, called Slither-me Slither-you (the idea was pinched from tlie excellent Dr Doolittle books) and was purchased in Blackpool (where All binding materials available for sale, else?) by your ever-silly RAG chairperson Pollyanna! including covers, Acetates, Combs (spirals), Standard and Super Copier paper. CREDITS Located Rachel Davison • Editor Chris Pye • Music Editor by entrance to Chancellor's Restaurant RAG Committee • Rag-Time Chris Jones & Andy Wilcock - Culture Shock For Further Information Dave Gent - features Phone - Mike Ramm - on 3267 Kate Jones & Nikki Henningham • Typists lan Rouse • Photo Expert Who'll be pleased to help you Nick Wright & Cara McMullan - Proofreaders Campusport Tel: 0483 259223 Christian Union - StufTers Mike Ramm - Printer Union House, Guildford, Surrey. GU2 5XH 18

BT Training Weekend Crew Column

n Friday lllh March at approximately 3.45pm I walked out of this world and ell, it's a new term and we now Ointo British Telecom's £40 million training and leisure centre. Whave a new Lower Bar rig for you My room was equivalent to that of a 5 star hotel except that the use of the telephone clubs and societies to enjoy. Now extra was free, and I used it accordingly. The next hour I spent in the sauna and swimming sound is in the Lower Bar, that makes it pool relaxing after the tfain journey. well loud enough for all (so no more There were 29 students attending the Urning course, from all over England and "extra sound" is available); and the lights Scotland, (a distuiting number were from "up north"). On Friday night we played are better, more organised, with added ice-breaker games to get to know each other and then we went to the bar. The meals special effects including strobes and a were all free and indescribably good. All three meals (breakfast, lunch and supper) dedicated smoke machine. were three courses and I have never eaten so much or so well in my life. On Saturday we spent 10 hours working on skills ranging from speed reading to Croing back to strobes, with reference to conflict development. During the conflict development exercise we were shaded on J Harwood's letter in BF (16th March an island and had to decide what priority to place on each good that we had to lose - 1994), we are scwry about what hap- üie exercise was filmed and then played back to us afterwards, to focus on faults in pened. Basically, with the turnover of our teamwork. people on the lighting desk, the message In the evening BT Ifúd on a disco and karaoke and we stayed up until the early hours for not using strobes was not passed on. of the morning drinking, dancing and singing. This will be rectified m the future. Stage On Sunday we prepared presentations on the skills that we had leamt the day before. Crew know the guideUnes on strobe use Finally we departed to our different destinations having leamt many new and useful and we do follow them (and are well skills and having had a lot of fun at the same time. within them). We have been told by the Many thanks to BT for organising this course. If they arrange another one, I strongly Health and Safety Executive Inspec- advise you to go on it. tor/Medical Officer that what we followj is unlikely to cause a first epileptic fit in Saul, Student Industrial Society anyone. If anyone seems to be affected by strobic lig;hting, covering or shutting For more information contact the Student Industrial Society (SIS) via the SIS pigeon one eye may reduce the effects (ref. Na- tional Society for Epilepsy information hole in the Student Union or contact Matthew D' Arcy, Student Project Manager, room sheet la: Photosensitivity). 2 Hut 10, tel: 259920 (ext. 9920).

The Draw Disco on Friday will Islamic Week Summer Term be strobe free, except when the band are on as they have speci- ^l^he Islamic Society are having an ex- Folk Clubs X hibition on some aspects of Islam fied strobes in their lighting rig. and Muslim life, in the Lecture ThefUre Tuesday Week 2 - 3rd May - concourse every day in week 2 from Dolphin Smile Don't forget, if you want to 9.30am to 5.00irai. book Stage Crew for you Tuesday Wk 4 - 17th May - TBA In addition to this, there are talks and club/society disco or your party, forums each evening from 6.00pm in the BOOK EARLY! lecture theatres. Refreshments are Tuesday Week 6 - 31st May • Les Barker served at 6.00pm, and talks start at AJ (Admin) 6.20pm for 40 minutes, with a further 20 minutes for discussions. The week's Tuesday Week 8 • 14th June - TBA programme is: Campusdance Tuesday Week 10 28th June - Summer Fun Mon - LT G. "Unity of God" by Abu- Posh Frock and Jukebox. Aaliya '' I ^his summer come and joiii some Tuesday Week 2 - X of the exciting new dance courses atCAMPUSDANCB... how Tues - LT G - "Unity of Religion" by Dolphin Smile Aiidur Raheem Green about Contact Improvisation (start- ing on Sth May) or our one day West olphin Smile are a new duo to the End Musical Theatre workshop (5th Wed - LT D - "Unity : A far truth?" a DFolk Club stage, but come highly May) and a day's Capoeira - manial forum on the concept of unity (6pm recommended! They sing songs about art/dance event Ali this plus your sharp) with 3 speakers : Rev John confused computers, mixed-up mon- regular weekly classes in Tap, Jazz, Partington (The Christian Concept of archs, well-meaning weathermen, un- Contemporary and Ballet Dance Unity), Yusuf Islam (The Concept of salty seadogs, unhorsed cowboys, forms. Unity in Islam) and Muharem Krzic unearthly paramours, amnesia, insomnia, (Unity in Reality) etc., etc. So if you want to experience the funnier side of folk music why no come Many of the courses are shorter this Thürs - LT G - "Unity of Action" by along to the Lower Bar at about 8pm on term to fit around your exam com- mitments, so there is no excuse - you S.M. Bieber Tuesday to wimess for yourself the weird humour of this duo. Floor smgers are can study and enjoy yourself in the smnmer term. There'll be more de- Fri - LT D • "Unity of Science and welcome -please turn upatabout7:30pm so we can sort ourselves out! This is a free tails of forthcoming danœ events in Religion" a 45 minute video "Timeless next week's issue, but if you want to Time" gig - so no excuses for not coming down to see what's up! ask any questions or enrol, just pop into the Campusport Centre any- time! Cheers, Duncan 19

ment but she also captained BUSF (Brit- From the Sports Office., ish Universities Sports Federation) in a Summer Social Sports game against West Glamorgan ( and they won ) - What a star! Other members of Interdepartmental Programm X the UAIJ winter sports. In the main this University who managed to get into Fancy 'Pop' LaCrosse, Croquet, Roun- UAU Surrey's teams perforai particu- the UAU teams for their respective sports ders, Volleyball, outside evening Soccer, larly well in the group rounds with over include Cameron McMaster (Squash), Tennis, 5-A-Side Soccer Knockouts? a third of our teams qualifying for the first Stamatis Pepahimonas - try saying that Most activities tíüceplacefor ten minutes play-off rounds. Our Squash teams did after a few pints (Volleyball), Spiros Pap- or so at lunchtimes and are aimed at be- especially well with their Men's 2nd get- pas (Water Polo), Stuart Husband + El- ginners and people who want to get out ting as far as the quarter finals. In die liot Pearce (Men's Soccer) and Mike Cox in the sunshine (yes, we promiselX for a Plate competition most of our teams pro- (Golf). break from academic work. ceeded past the 2nd rounds (most with So, contact your Sports Rep immediately convincing wins and others with not so or get a team together yourself! Entries convincing byes). Nine of our teams URGENT AMENDMENT by Friday, 29th April, 6.30p.m., and reached a remarkably high stages in the SPORTS STANDING MEETING matches start from May 9th! competition, with Men's 4th Soccer, Men's Fencing and Men's 2nd Hockey Since the next SPORTS STANDING STOP PRESS reaching the quarter final stage. COMMITTEE MEETING falls on a Departmental Sports Reps Meeting at the Women's Fencing, Men's + Women's bank holiday (2nd May) the meeting has Campusport Centre, Friday 29th April Tennis reaching the Semi-Finals stage therefore been rearranged for Tuesday 1pm. Find out about "It's a Knockout", and Men's Basketball, Golf and 3rd May 1994 at 6pm in LTE. Could all River Sports Day, and the Inter-Depart- Women's Volleyball reaching the finals. sports club committee chairperson note mental Programme. The Women's Volleyball team lost in the this change and send at least one delegate final to Warwick University in a very from their club. hard and intense final, the other two fi- Sally Edie and Mark Ar nail nals will be played this term. I would like There is a SPORTS EXECUTIVE to thank all the people in the teams, Club MEETING in the Nelson Madela com- University Open Day 1994 committee member, Campusport staff, mittee room on Friday 29th April at Ian Main (groundsman) and anybody 12pm. Tk/jTany of you will remember that else who helped to make these events lVËS|H»iiv Hiid RitTtMlion at Sur- happen and, finally, I hope everybody rey wa5 a high profile at the who took part had iim I've been asked by David Aplin (Cam- UnivmiQ^ C^en Day bst year, tir the pusport) to inform you of a forthcoming rumi oriìrnionstnilì(tiis, display^ iiiid •• IT'S A KNOCKOUT " event. This is presentations« Friday^ 20th May, Elsewhere in other tournaments the scheduled for the Sunday 19th June lO.OOam (ii4.00pm sees the next Open Men's Rugby Club qualified for the Fi- (week 8) on Stag Hill pitches. For any- Day, when sixth formers^ their par- nals of the 7's tournament in Edinbor- body interested in helping with the or- aitSf teacher« and meml>er!(s of the ough, the Hockey (Indoor tournament)+ ganisation, there will be a teas,biscuits + public winfaejgain]ng$u)tne knpwiedge Volleyball teams did pretty well in the a short Video in the Campusports Tap ahout unlveisity life» course choices, tournaments in Bath and Leeds respec- Room on Friday 29th April at 6pm. and love the opportunity to talk to tively but as they both claimed when it our sludt'nls and stalT »t firvt hniHl came to bar sports there was only one Also all next week's dance courses or- about the value of Sport, Dance and University capable of winning -1 bet they ganised by C!ampusdance are absolutely Kécreatjua In Higher Education, couldn' t say that if I were in the team. free, so get your dancing shoes on and Viesae win all Clufos let SaUy Edie turn up - you never know, you might know If they wish to he bivolved in Congratulations to Alison West who not actually enjoy it. what Is a very ei^joyable day - dis- only captained the UAU Women's Net- plays, providing studente who couid ball team for the Home Nations tourna- Arthur managestaUs or guided tours, demon- strations (approximately 12,4>0pm - 2.30pm), equipment (la.st year the Summer sunshine, strawberries & long brown legs! University i^ider was on display!)» by Friday 6th May< s this the British Summer, you query? Well you can feel sunny if you lake part in I(^ampusport or Campusdance this term! How about a Croquet Workshop, a chance to learn Squash now that the demand for Sally Edie space is a little easier. Tennis Courses for all abilities. Self Defence, Tai Chi, Golf Head of Sports ¡Programmes (including a visit to the Guildford Golf Club), Climbing, and Rope and Navigation Anyone For Croquet? Courses! Most of this excitement starts from Tuesday, 3rd May - so enrol next week at the Summer days and tea trolley tactics on Campusport Centre to secure your place. Some of the courses are short, four weeks, the Croquet Lawn? Read on: others are drop-in workshops, some are for the more committed student or member Take Part! - In the Inter-Departmental of staff, who can enrol on an eight week course. Challenge, (entries by Friday 29th April - beginners welcome). Just Book! the SUMMER EXERCISE...? IT'S NOT TOO LATE - lawn anytime, although lunchtimes are nonnally taken up with matches - contact Even the least fit are welcome! the Campusport Centre. Leani How! Most exercise classes - anything from Cardio Funk (new on Hiursdays), Callanetics Two one and half hour woikshops, with (Patetics on the timetable). Aerobics, both high and low, Stretch Classes, and Circuit a coach from the Croquet Association are Training, start after the exams have finished at the Campusport Centre (not the taking place on: Wednesday, 11th May, University Hall this terai) - so roll on Sunday May 1st for the rest of the Sununer Term 1.00pm to 2.30pm, and Wednesday, I5th -use your 1X)SH C^d or drop in with 75p and get involved in bending those knees June, 1.00pm to 2.30pra. Book up for and t^ies! either of these sessions (£1.50 with FOR FURTHER DETAILS, CONTACT CAMPUSPORT ON X9201. DOSH) and learn the fundamentals of this not so social game! iBare

Boat Club Give Good Head Performance emember the Boat Race on the 26th RMarch? WeU, after Oxfoid and Cam- bridge had done their bit, another race took place over the same course, only this time with 3,780 competitors from the IJK, Ger- uiany, Holland, Switzerland, Spain, Ireland, Belgium, Austria and France. This was the 1994 Head of the River Race (HORR), the largest event in the world for men's Eights.

We were there, representing Surrey Uni, and can be seen on the BBC "Grandsland" cov- erage with the aid of a Freeze-Frame VCR crews racing side by side in a knockout-style toumameni and lightning-fast reactions! We started 287th, which is where Stuart, Xavier, Chris and Paul, coxed by Kay, put in a storming we finished last year, out of420 crews. This lime we completed performance to win Senior-I coxed fours in a straight final the 4.25 mile course in 19m01s, moving us up 132 places to against London R-C., whose first eight had, rather worryingly, finish 155th. Tliis was a mere (?) 2m06s behind the winner, c(nne third in the HORR! Gary and I had our first race in the Munster von 1882 - essentially the (jerman national squad who coxiess pair, and partly due to my random but seemingly won Gold atlast year's World Championships. Stili, we did weil effective steering managed to win the first round. Sadly in the to come 18th out of 59 University crews and 36th out of 64 second round we came up against a pair from Emanuel School Senior-I crews - not bad considering one of our crew fell ili the who apparenUy have been selected for the GB junior squad. Us night before the r^ and a last minute Substitute had to be two old gits were no match for them ! This was also the first race found! of the season for the Novice men's coxed foun Joel, Lee, Andy and Howard, coxed by Charlotte. They lost lo Henley R.C!. after The HORR approximately marked the end of the Head Race putting in a very good effort - a bit more training and l'm sure season, and our first Regatta took pli«:e at Reading on Aprii the result can be reversed. 16th. Regattas are raced over much shorted distances than Heads (typically 500m, lOOOm or 2000m), with two or more Pingu Summer is here and it*s time to go Gliding Club

elcome back to another term of hard work but where is WINDSURFING Weverybody? We are now meeting in Chancellors on a Tuesday at 6pm. '^he club is of- Please come along if you are interested in gliding, especially if A fering sail- you have already signed up for two flights. You must take these ing for ali abili- flighis before October. ties:- beginners courses starting Looking forward to the summer, there is the Inter University at the end of Task Week, a week of friendly cross country compétition week 2, intemie- between various University Gliding clubs. This year it is being diate sailing at hosted by Nottingham University Gliding Qub and it is not Queen Mary res- necessary to become a Lasham member to take part. ervoir and sea sailing for com- pétent sailors. In September there is an aerobatics compétition and we need The club has a people to help on the ground. range of new Apart from that, what could be more stunning than floating equipment and wetsuits so come along and give it a go, every- around, thousands of feet up in the air, after weeks of revision one is welcome. For further details and booking of and gruelling exams? courses/sailing trips, the club meets at Ipm on Fridays by the snooker tables in the Union, or phone John on ext 9543. Robin Tingey Treasurer Gliding Club (Brinted by Mi(:g> i^gmm - ZLnion iPrìnter