North of Center Wednesday, May 11, 2011 Free TAKE HOME AND READ NOCLEXINGTON.COM Volume III, Issue 9 May Day sprout Josephine Rose Mayer born 5:35 AM

NoC News Saturday morning, a Monday, May 2 rare sunny day in a sea- Central Baptist Hospital son of downpours, to come upon the world The news coming down the line says three weeks early. Over that your world’s on fire, and I’m a period of hours, as trying Mom calmly finished to get a message through to you. painting the baby’s —D. Rawlings bookshelf and Dad frantically rushed to With her right arm raised and her plant the beans, install tiny fist pushed tight between her tem- the baby seat and ple and mom’s canal walls, Josephine transplant the toma- ER

Rose Mayer was born on May 1, 2011 toes, Josie’s demands AY Y M

at 5:35 A.M., after 28 hours of labor. became more insistent, NN

She came out crying and with a head pressing, sharp. DA of black hair, in search of warmth and Things ultimately a pair of arms to hold her close, things crested, crowned actu- Josie Rose Mayer raises her hand hand in solidarity with workers across the world. her mother, strong and beautiful, hap- ally, 64 minutes before pily provided. the sun’s rise on May 1, International at the Philadelphia Scott Paper plant her arms raised up, loud, and ready to Though Josie was unavailable Worker’s Day and pagan Spring holiday in the 1940s and still alive at 95, and go. for comment, inside sources say that for the northern hemisphere; a Sunday. Rosalind “Papa Rose” Decker, a South the allure of being a May Day baby, All in all, it’s a real fine day to Georgia florist into the 1990s, must Both mom and baby are doing well. The coupled with Mom’s Friday night din- scratch your first mark and pitch your surely be proud of their May Day dogs are a bit mystified. Most of the tomatoes ner of white bean agnoletti, led to the first good holler. Great-grandmothers hybrid born of two non-native trans- survived the frost. Weather is warming. And ambitious sprout’s decision early on Josephine “Josie” Lazare, a line worker plants, this child arriving early with dad’s tickled pink at the whole turn of events. Between God LexTran renovation The length of and Superman the Kentucky Eli at the UK helm moving forward Life by rheotaxis, part 3 By Danny Mayer By Wesley Houp NoC News so I would like to see the old Kitchen “We want somebody between God Planning Center restored. Plus, it Collinsia verna. Blue-Eyed Mary and Superman.” On April 25, LexTran officials, is more environmentally friendly was the first species of spring wild- —James Stuckert, Vice-Chair, including General Manager Rocky to restore an existing building than flowers to seduce my imagination as a UK Board of Trustees, January 2010, Burke, met with community mem- to demolish it and rebuild,” said young man of 23 living on the river speaking on the UK CEO search bers at Luigart Studio to discuss the Tara Rodriguez, of the Castlewood at High Bridge. At a time when most future of the Kitchen Planning Center Neighborhood Association. of my friends from high school and I should be honest here and say building at 101 W. Loudon Avenue. Marty Clifford, of the North college were discovering the music- that not once throughout the entire Occupying much of the northwest cor- Limestone Neighborhood Association, scene (albeit anemic) in Lexington and UK hiring process, from Lee Todd’s ner of the intersection of N. Limestone also saw possibility in the project. Louisville and immersing themselves stepping down as CEO last Fall on up and Loudon, LexTran owns the build- “We are hoping the building itself be liver-first in the sporadic but engulfing through the May Day announcement ings on the corner and currently has its a monument and part of the commu- barscape of the city, I was cultivating last week of University of at administrative headquarters at 109 W. nity—something the community will a healthy respect for the instant isola- Birmingham Provost Eli Capilouto’s Loudon. LexTran is considering plans directly benefit from and be proud of.” tion the Lock 7 pool offers to anyone coronation as the next CEO/President for the vacant Kitchen edifice as well Some also suggested that LexTran with a boat and time. In April the lush of the , did as the long warehouse behind it that showcase an ArtStop bus shelter at the banks of Cedar Run glowed in the half I ever think the school would hire a runs along N. Limestone. intersection, much like has been done blue, half white brilliance cast by a mil- president I might imagine as anywhere on Third and Elm Tree near the Lyric lion Blue-Eyed Mary’s. Cedar Run was approaching “good.” When the same An Earlier Meeting Theatre. one of the few places to boast such a corporate hiring firm that chose the For more than a year, community Other residents made clear that generous stand. To see it full bloom is last president is granted the same hir- members have been talking to LexTran they see the LexTran project as impor- a prize enjoyed by scant few. ing powers, this time on steroids—a about how it will utilize the Kitchen tant to the rehabilitation of the Cedar Run is one of those creeks search conducted entirely out of the building. In January 2010, Burke and intersection. that boaters (paddlers and otherwise) view of the public with a $700,000 sal- his staff met with several northside “The LexTran proposed devel- pass by without as much as a sec- ary allowed to float around publicly as neighborhood associations at Al’s Bar opment on the corner of Limestone ond glance. For those who launch at possible compensation—it’s difficult to to discuss the building’s potential. At and Loudon provides a great oppor- Frankie’s ramp just above Lock 7, the hold out much hope for things going that meeting, residents shared memo- tunity for Lexington and specifically spectacle of High Bridge pulls all atten- well. ries of the building’s past lives, while the north side of town. Identified by tion skyward, and most are headed for My disposition might be seen in others expressed concern that any his- the Central Sector Small Area Plan the cold, clear lake-bottom waters of contrast to Britt Brockman, chair toric value be preserved. as a focus area and potential node of the Dix River and the lure of current- of the Board of Trustees and public “The old buildings impart a dumb, farm-trout in the tail waters face of the UK search committee. In charm to this area and make it unique, continued on page 3 anyway. The small, shallow mouth of March while still interviewing candi- Cedar Run is no more than an after- dates out of the public eye, Brockman thought with outboards full-bore. described the candidate pool as “just Harrodsburg’s municipal “straw” slurp- phenomenal.” Its “depth and breadth ing at the downstream side also casts a of quality” he found “overwhelmingly quasi-industrial pallor, complimenting surprising.” Unlike Board Vice-Chair the massive limestone pier supporting James Stuckert, who famously said that the southern leg of High Bridge—the UK wanted someone between “God two man-made structures obscuring and Superman” as UK’s next CEO/ the magnificently severe gorge. President, Brockman was bullish on Just inside the mouth, though, several candidates, noting on March moss-covered stone piers mark the 24 that he had “already met three to spot where the old stage road bridged five people that I would be comfort- the creek, and immediately up to able having as the next president.” the right, the road to Shaker landing This news was not to be taken snakes around the cliff. Covering the lightly. Several months earlier in banks on either side, the Blue-Eyed January, the Florida corporate search Mary harmonizes with the blues of firm Greenwood/Asher, who was paid Dwarf Larkspur (Delphinium tricorne), to vet and in some instances actively Virginia Bluebell (Mertensia virginicus),

recruit (as they did with new UK CEO J.C. Commonokers Greek Valerian (Polemonium reptans), Eli Capilouto) the candidates it put Purple Phacelia (Phacelia bipinnatifida), The LexTran/Kitchen Planning Center building on the corner of North Limestone and continued on page 7 Loudon Avenue. continued on page 6

Contents In forthcoming issues 2 — Neighborhood 4 — Music 5 — Film & Media 7 — Opinion 8 — Comics High Security Prisons Save your house Music calendar DVD illusions Letters Fierce Company Hacking: good Extraordinary Axes! Mead! Gods! General Dallas Review of Mondragon Announcements percussion Local happenings Delmar Von Lexington River Rats comics 2 North of Center

MAY 11, 2011 The Neighborhood Alternatives to foreclosure Info for the diligent By Natalie Rae Lile while they are negotiating with the Foreclosures are bad for everyone lender for a loan modification. Hire a The frustrating fact is that mass Almost weekly, a new story hits the lawyer, write a letter to the court, show foreclosures in a down market are bad Local Resources national media describing record fore- up for a scheduled hearing. Do any- for everyone. They are bad for the for Homeowners closure rates, “robo-signing” debacles thing to let the court know you want homeowners, bad for the tax base, bad or the feds cracking down on lenders to keep your home and you are willing for the neighbors and even bad for the Reach, Inc. for improper foreclosure procedures. to work with the bank. lenders. Statistics show, not only do 859-455-8057 (for budget and But these national stories don’t capture Recently, a man called the office of lenders receive substantially less than credit counseling) the fear, frustration, and heartache the Master Commissioner in Frankfort they are owed as a result of a foreclo- that exist in homes throughout central (The Master Commissioner is the sure sale, but, in addition, property val- Community Ventures Kentucky. There are state and federal court official who conducts the fore- ues surrounding the foreclosed proper- Corporation, Loss Mitigation programs available for people who are closure sales on the court house steps. ties drop, causing a lower local tax base Department at risk of losing their homes, but many It is his or her job to advertise the sales and lower loan to value ratios on exist- 859-231-0054 or 800-299- who have lost jobs, have gone through of the homes in the local newspapers). ing loans, resulting in collateral cover- 0267 (for assistance prior a divorce, or have become disabled The man was completely surprised age issues for local lenders. According to foreclosure and during a will not be able to successfully qualify when he read an ad in the local news- to a 2009 report from the Center for foreclosure suit) for these programs before lenders and paper advertising the sale of his home. Responsible Lending, foreclosures in their lawyers complete the foreclosure He was finalizing the paperwork for a 2009-2012 will result in a “spillover Fayette County Bar process and take their homes. Once a federal home loan modification and effect” equaling a $2,238,700,000 Association Pro Bono homeowner loses the ability to fully assumed that the bank was not moving decrease in house values statewide, Program pay his or her monthly mortgage obli- forward with the foreclosure process. with an average decline of $2,610 per 859-255-7244 (for legal aid) gation, it is a race against the clock to In fact, the attorney for the lender home. save his or her home. had gone to court, obtained a default Different states and counties The fact is that lenders routinely judgment against the homeowner, then throughout the country are han- Kentucky Housing continue with foreclosure proceedings went back to court and obtained an dling the problem of out of control Corporation when in active discussions with borrow- order of sale from the judge, granting foreclosures differently. Some state 866-830-7368 (for ers regarding loan modifications. There the lender the right to sell the home legislatures have enacted laws to assistance for very low, are many reasons for this. First, some and retain any proceeds from the sale. guard against improper foreclosures. low, and moderate income lenders are so big that most have one The lender’s attorney canceled the Franklin County, Kentucky recently homeowners, including a department that deals with collection sale at the last minute, but not before implemented the Franklin County program specifically for and foreclosure litigation while a com- incurring an additional $1,500 in costs Foreclosure Diversion Program. unemployed homeowners) pletely different department works on that will most likely be charged to the According to a letter sent to the loan modifications. These two different homeowner. local lenders and attorneys in Frankfort, groups of people may even be in dif- Another man, a single father living “Based on a growing concern about regular basis. The bottom line: even ferent cities, and they very rarely com- in Georgetown, was hurt on the job in the record number of foreclosures in though there are a number of feder- municate effectively. Second, even if the 2009. He was on unemployment while Franklin County, and troubled by ally- and state-funded programs to foreclosure arm of a lender knows that working with social security to obtain instances of unresponsiveness from help troubled homeowners and to the loan modification arm is working disability payments. Before qualifying some lenders and servicing agents, we prevent unnecessary foreclosures, at on a modification, they will likely not for unemployment or disability, he was are implementing the Franklin County this time, these are having minimal inform the attorney who is in charge of unable to make his full mortgage pay- Foreclosure Diversion Program. This effect and are difficult and frustrating the foreclosure suit, so the attorney goes ments. His lender filed a foreclosure court-mandated mediation program for homeowners to navigate without full steam ahead with the foreclosure, suit and refused to take any money at will bring the mortgage-holder and the assistance. nearly always incurring more expenses, all from the man. His house has been property-owner together in order to which are added to the amount the scheduled for sale twice, each time while determine if an alternative to foreclo- Natalie Rae Lile is a native Lexingtonian homeowner owes the lender in the end, he was working with his lender to apply sure is possible.” and an attorney. She was recently appointed even if a modification is worked out. for a loan modification. Finally, when So far, no other counties in cen- the mediator of the Franklin County It is imperative that homeowners he received a notice in the mail that his tral Kentucky have official, manda- Foreclosure Diversion Program. She rep- not ignore the legal papers they receive house was to be scheduled for sale for a tory mediation programs, but many resents homeowners in Fayette, Scott, from the courts regarding a foreclo- third time, he hired an attorney. So far, circuit court judges are sending these Woodford, Shelby and Anderson Counties. sure. Homeowners’ homes will be sold he has not lost his home. types of cases to mediation on a She can be reached at [email protected]. Collexion: Lexington hacker heaven By G. Jordan Johnson defined by open and vary- ing interpretations. Hack-er |noun| Hacking is a desire, a will even, to understand 1. An enthusiastic and skillful com- and challenge the status puter programmer or user. quo on what can and can- 2. A person who uses computers to not be done. A hacker gain unauthorized access to data. knows the functionality of a system, a program, a Anytime the word hacker is piece of technology, or any- uttered, images come to mind of thing else before it is even pasty, frail, eyeglass-clad boys and made public; the interest of girls intently staring at computer the hacker is learning how screens and tapping away at the keys. those facilities and materi- Many associate the word with its sec- als can be altered, improved ond definition and think of misuse, upon, or reversed. A hacker illegal intent, unauthorized employ has “an unstoppable desire of one’s technical faculties; the result to create, to take some- is a derogatory depiction of any who thing apart…a unified com- choose to don programmer’s apparel. pulsion to understand and to share However, as a self-proclaimed hacker those experiences,” according to one of and an avid fan of all things techno- Collexion’s own. I couldn’t agree more. Announcements logical, it is my duty to educate those unaware of or misinformed about A trip to Collexion Get up, Clean up! Let the gleaning begin! hacking. It seems my web search ultimately Faith Feeds began the 2011 glean- I find it best to develop an accurate took me to the right people. My enthu- Help keep the north side beauti- ing season on Sunday, May 1, at the definition of hacking by use of struc- siasm only grew once I began to attend ful by joining the Great American Lexington Farmers Market. They will tured examples. Enter Collexion. I was Collexion’s weekly meet-ups. Clean-Up on Saturday, May 14. be gleaning that market every Tuesday, first introduced to Collexion when The first few times were enthralling. Volunteer sign-in at 8 A.M. or 10 A.M. Thursday, and Sunday until sometime browsing the web for local Ruby pro- I showed up first during the assembly at Duncan Park, followed by a celebra- in October or November (depending gramming groups during my return of a robot, one that uses prefabricated tion and picnic at noon at Duncan on the weather). They’re looking for move from Boston, MA to Lexington. three-dimensional templates to print, Park. RSVP by May 11 on the web site volunteers and ask that you consider Finding the term hackerspace on their out of ABS plastics, assorted items at gac2011-tu-mlkna-castlewood.event- whether you have time to donate. website was all that I needed to validate such as Green Lantern rings, Star Trek brite.com, or call Karen Anderson at Ideally, they’d like to establish a my query. For all intents and purposes, badges, and wire spindles. This first 859.233.8182. schedule where a particular group or that’s what Collexion’s location at 109 meet-up affirmed that this was a place All events are rain or shine. individual gleans once per month on E. Loudon Avenue is: a space where for me; I immediately felt at home. Rain location for picnic: Rosenthal the same day: for example, last year, hackers convene. Collexion had me hooked. Its Commons (on Transylvania’s cam- Maxwell Street Presbyterian Church That still doesn’t correct our course, members, a determined and dedicated pus at Fourth Street). The clean- gleaned on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd however; we’ve yet to accurately define few, embrace the collective’s non-profit up is sponsored by Martin Luther Tuesdays of the month. Of course, hacker. For that, I must give a personal structure. There, presence and enthu- King Neighborhood Association, if you can only make it on an ad hoc interpretation. Not because I feel my siasm outweigh currency and con- the Castlewood Neighborhood basis—that’s terrific too! word is the authority on hacking, but cern. The group’s challenges lay more Association, Seedleaf, LFUCG If you’re willing to volunteer, con- because there is simply no standard take Division of Environmental Policy, and tact [email protected] for spe- on what hacking is—it is paradoxically continued on page 3 Transylvania University. cific times and additional instructions. North of Center 3

MAY 11, 2011

LexTran (cont.)

continued from page 1 firm, and Messer Construction for the of Fifth Street. These are the entrepre- structures get broken, which is why it project. Charlie Carter, of Sherman, neurs willing to take a chance on the is against city ordinance to park on activity, the stretch of Loudon between Carter, Barnhart, presented findings nether regions of N. Limestone — the utility strips.) N. Broadway and Bryan Avenue with from the feasibility study of the 1928 dirtier and poorer part that will be In other words, many of the area concentration on the Limestone and Kitchen building. To the layperson, harder to “revitalize.” These seem to be upgrades that depend on city ordi- Loudon corner should become a the structural report was interesting, the type of business owners who help nance and city money are far from destination corridor,” said Griffin but not easy to assess. If this were the the city “feel safe” (or safer at least) in imminent. VanMeter, who lives and owns a busi- exact same audience from the 2010 committing money for infrastructure However, General Manager Burke ness on N. Limestone. meeting at Al’s Bar, the presenta- repair. and Messer Construction announced “LexTran can act as a catalyst tion would probably have fallen flat. In fact, Mayor Gray had met an optimistic timeline for beginning and help jump start this destination However, this wasn’t the same audi- with General Manager Burke several work on the LexTran project. They node with a mixed used develop- ence, although there were a few of the hours before the meeting, encourag- say that, depending on administrative ment that not only serves their pro- same faces. ing LexTran to, as Burke recounted, red tape, work could begin this fall. gramming needs but also engages the This Luigart audience was less “think beyond building”—meaning, However, that isn’t to say that LexTran needs of the adjacent neighborhoods,” resident and more business owner— hopefully, to think about how the ren- has decided yet whether to demolish VanMeter continued. “A development in particular business owners cur- ovation could buoy surrounding area. or renovate the Kitchen building. The with retail will energize the area, and rently renovating buildings along N. As this heavily trafficked intersection next step for the project is to analyze if done correctly provide more and Limestone. The gathering included is in the shitter when it comes to the cost to determine whether renovation diverse revenue streams for LexTran. Chad Needham (the old Spalding’s actual roads, sidewalks, and curbs— of the 83-year-old building is feasible. The hope is that LexTran models their building), Lucie Meyers, (the blue some of which are the city’s respon- If not, LexTran may have to build a development after successful public building at the southeast corner of sibility—several at the meeting were new edifice. The transit authority transportation-based mixed-use devel- the N. Limestone/Loudon intersec- ready to believe that the magic wand does still plan to raze the warehouse opments and seizes this opportunity. tion), representatives from Broken of the LexTran renovation could make that runs along N. Limestone for bus The neighborhood hopes that LexTran Fork Designs (residential renovation the area better. parking. thinks and acts big and progressively.” on Rand and N. Limestone), Clifford The romantic drawing of the spar- kling and new intersection from the “We built this city on rock ’n roll” feasibility study made several attendees Well, no, Lexington wasn’t built drool. In pastel watercolors, the draw- on rock ’n roll, but let’s pretend that ing included whispy trees, bike lanes, we can determine the foundations and a road surface design to look like for building, re-building, imagin- a trolley turn-around. And, best of ing, re-imagining the northside. In all, pristine curbs. (At least one audi- doing this, let’s put pressure on any ence member murmured in joy, or and all potential resources for our maybe orgasmic pedestrian delight, neighborhood. The LexTran renova- at the thought of curbs.) We, along tion is certainly an important park with Carter who unveiled the draw- of this picture. However, the LexTran ing, believed for the moment that N. project isn’t a panacea, so here’s Limestone and Loudon could be as NoC’s proposed slate of projects on beautiful as any streetscape further which to apply our collective grit and south. determination: Take E. Loudon back from the A Dream Deferred nightmarish landscape of Tremors by As lovely as those dreams were, pushing it up the city’s list for whole- some of us quickly remembered the sale repair. Find federal funds if neces- J.C. Commonokers context. First, the millions for the sary. This needs lots of neighborhood LexTran renovation are federal money work and support. Tremors-like damage on E. Loudon Avenue median. bequeathed to the transit authority, Advocate for a noise ordinance not to the city. Surely, the money must that limits industrial noise that rup- Moving Forward (stretch of buildings on N. Limestone be used for LexTran’s property, not a tures ear drums, interrupts sleep, and Recently, LexTran has been able between Seventh Street and Loudon), streetscape that encompasses all of the limits the neighborhood’s use value. to move forward with the project—and and VanMeter (Bullhorn building). intersection. Insist that “revitalizing” practices hopes to fulfill some of the requests All asked technical questions about the Second, the zoning for industrial from small developers, non-profits, voiced by residents at the January 2011 construction of the building. uses near that intersection substan- and governmental agencies maintain meeting. The transit authority has This different crop of participants tially limits idyllic visions of Limestone the cultural and socio-economic diver- chosen Sherman, Carter, Barnhart, is a sign of the fragile, but accelerating, north of Seventh Street. sity of the northside. No need to go an architectural and civil engineering private investment in Limestone north Third, E. Loudon from Shropshire too white, or too hip, or too yup. to N. Limestone looks like the movie Demand that our streets and parks Tremors was filmed on/under it. be clean, safe and functional for all (Remember that 1990 Kevin Bacon clas- residents. This includes demanding sic? In it, large underground creatures greater access to public gardens and pop out of the ground to eat the inhab- markets. $5 Yoga itants of a small town.) On this stretch Oh, yeah, and we need those of Loudon, there are potholes, sink- curbs, too. holes, and wavy pavement. There are Strong and Stable Backs crumbling and busted curbs. In many Add your ideas to the slate by emailing places, utility strips have been ground them to NoC at [email protected] or Saturdays, 11:30 A.M. to dirt by on-street parking. (Cars pull posting to noclexington.com. Suggestions up on the utility strips to avoid being will be published in future issues. If you Eagle Creek Wellness sideswiped by the many large com- are interested in working on the “Finish mercial trucks that use E. Loudon as Loudon Avenue!” campaign, send an 859-264-0251 a through-street. Consequently, utility email to [email protected]. Collexion (cont.) continued from the previous page of books, to offering workshops and 498 Georgetown Street training conferences. With so much Jasha, Troy, Kamari, Clayuisha, Isaiah, and Daiazhuaniq in keeping their space modular, their on the horizon, the group may need a options as open as their software, and larger space, especially as the number the doors forever rotating. Collexion’s of new faces also grows, each adding space itself is humble, effective, impres- mass to the equation. sive, whimsical, spacious. In that space, With so much creative activ- you’ll find a hospitable crew of willing, ity from Collexion’s member-base, it open-minded, intelligent, artistic, and proves hard to capture what a group industrious individuals from all walks of hackers, teetering on the fringes of of life; some programmers, some busi- progressive knowledge, are doing and ness owners, some students, and more. then report it. What might be considered simplicity There is only one way you may in space and in folk, I would argue is come to appreciate hackers, who they truth and harmony; social standing are, and what they do. It won’t come to and predispositions do not exist to cre- you through the programs they help to ate boundaries within Collexion. One create that infect your daily lives, nor member described Collexion as “pretty through their innovations in advancing fuckin’ rad.” Again, I have to agree. fields. For as many screens as we may The Collexion space has also put between ourselves and others, the opened up for events not strictly purest interactions take place at the bio- deemed “hacker,” including music logical level. If you wish to understand shows, film production, speakers, an who hackers are and what they do, then Jasha, Troy, Kamari, Clayuisha, Isaiah, and Daiazhuaniq walked outside the artist collaborative, community events, I suggest you go see for yourself. West End Community Empowerment Project for a fire drill just as we arrived gaming, camping trips, and even at the pile of cast-away furniture. Because it was a beautiful October evening, the occasional party. For as much as See the music page in this issue for a show because the fire drill quickly came to an end, and because their teachers liked Collexion already produces, there’s preview. Collexion is located on the north the description of DISCARDED, they were eager to pose for a photograph. plenty of desire to grow. The collec- side at 109 E. Loudon. Visit their website tive aspires to obtaining industrial at collexion.net for more information, to Image and text by Kremena Todorova and Kurt Gohde, Discarded project. screen-printing equipment, to compil- join their IRC channel, and to check out ing a member-submitted collection the discussions in their Google group. 4 North of Center

MAY 11, 2011 Music Live music to survive in the wild to: 5/14-23 Saturday, May 14 that even your little sister likes. That The Green Lantern; 497 West Third. 9 P.M. layered, and slightly psychedelic, Black crap is the sonic equivalent of your Skies strips it naked, leaves it to bloat in The Tim Talbert Project dweeb coworker showing off his new From pristine, gentrified Carrboro the sun for a few days, and runs the car- The Crossroad; 286 Southland. 9 P.M. Camry’s “pep.” Screw that. This is comes just about the ugliest, most sav- cass through a fuzzbox. This is primal power-trio rock the way they used to age-sounding act to trample though metal, folks; if you don’t like it, run back Like most of you, I judge a man’s make it: loud, fast, and more than a Lexington’s pristine, gentrified bor- to your manicured lawn and freshly worth* using several criteria. First, how little scary if it catches you unawares. ders since last year’s Mastodon show. detailed Land Rover. You wouldn’t sur- long he can survive, alone and mini- The band is taking their sound- But where that band took sludge metal vive five minutes in the wild. mally equipped, in the wilderness? beast on the road to support their new and ‘70s riff-rock and made it melodic, —Buck Edwards Second, how well does he command record, called “The Night.” [Look for his automobile? Third, does he know a full review in the next issue. —Ed.] where the pocket is? The Green Lantern is not a large space, What’s the pocket? No, it ain’t so get there early, and bring plugs if those things on the front of your dun- you’ve got ‘em. And leave the Camry garees! It’s where the groove is. It’s the at home. place in time where the backbeat lands for maximum funkifying. It’s the space Thursday, May 19 in our id the bass fills, compelling us to move in ways that would cause our Sam Wooden & the Urbane Gentlemen grandmas to blush and turn away, God Thursday Night Live; Cheapside Park. rest their souls. It’s the connection 5:30 P.M. between the harmony, the melody, the rhythm, and the astral plane. That’s But you know, once you’ve got the pocket. your survival skills together, you’ve So I have no idea how long Tim found the pocket, and you’ve mas- Talbert and his sturdy, seasoned Project tered your vehicle, you ought to take can live in the woods, nor how they are a moment to enjoy a few of the finer behind the wheel. But it doesn’t matter, things: a fresh pinch of snuff, a sip of because they know where the pocket is. something aged and mellowed, and a They always know where the pocket warm Thursday evening with the best Sam Wooden & the Urbane Gentlemen. is. In fact, for all we know, they might damned rockin’ country band assem- have constructed the damned pocket in bled, to my knowledge, since...since... their spare time, using chicken grease, since goddamn ever, that’s when. hot asphalt, and spare parts from the Be warned: while you’re making Collexion hosts Mothership. your way home after the show, you What’s this mean to you? It means may feel sudden, uncontrollable urges that when you listen to the band play, to stop your cheatin’ ways and treat master percussionist you are hearing the music performed him/her better, to seal that crack in in the most soulful manner possible. There the old pickup’s exhaust manifold like NoC Music orchestra is unique to each city, as is no intermediary between you and you’ve been meaning to, and to spend its membership consists of volunteers the cosmic vein of groove; you are face- more time on the front porch with There are musicians who become from the local community, who are to-face with it. You’re in it. Be it. friends and neighbors. These are nor- proficient on their instruments, but not necessarily percussionists, or even mal responses. who then choose to work within the musicians. *Women get their own set of crite- And oh yeah: it’s a CD release established confines of a particular Each orchestra consists of five ria, which we won’t get into here, but party. Now you’ve got something to style or category of music. Then there people performing on 5 gong kits, which involve tennis skirts and reading play while tearing down those winding are those who choose to use their profi- with Nakatani acting as the ensemble’s glasses. Email music@noclexington. back-country roads. ciency to explode those categories and conductor. The aim of the N.G.O. is to com for more information. follow new directions. Percussionist creates a metallic temple of deep har- Saturday, May 21 and gong-bower Tatsuya Nakatani falls monies, a beauty of spaces. All of the Wednesday, May 18 in the second group. stands, bows and mallets are assembled Oxford Farm Report The music Nakatani plays is exper- or hand-made by Nakatani himself, The Suede Brothers Cosmic Charlie’s; 388 Woodland. 9 P.M. imental in the truest sense of the word. which he considers an important phase The Green Lantern; 497 West Third. 9 P.M. Using a combination of traditional of the composing process. With this show, the Lexington drums and percussive instruments and The members of the Lexington The Suede Brothers are three music scene is diminished. Why? various sticks, bows, bowls, and found N.G. O. are Mike “The Geek” Bray, Matt skinny kids from 40-odd miles east Because evidently this show is to be objects, Nakatani improvises sound- Gibson, Jonathan Hampton, Nicholas of Cleveland, which means they auto- Oxford Farm Report’s last. And let me scapes, moving from gentle to jarring Larkey, and Michael Lunsford. The per- matically pass the wilderness-survival tell you: they handled their machines in masterful fashion. formance will consist of two sets: one criterion by virtue of being from, you as well as anybody. Go see ‘em, and On Saturday, May 21st, Nakatani with the N.G.O., and the other a solo know, Bumfuck Ohio. But that’s not shed a tear if the mood strikes you. It’s returns to Lexington for the third performance by Nakatani. the only thing that makes them special. okay to cry; just don’t go on and on time since 2006. On past visits he’s col- No, it’s also that like a tuned with it. laborated with Lexington’s respected Collexion is located at the corner of Loudon 1970 Chevy 454, this band exercises drummer and percussionist Dave ; and N. Limestone, behind the Hop Hop raw power. It’s not the slickified, safe- Monday, May 23 this time, however, he’s bringing with building. Showtime is at 8 P.M.; doors for-general-consumption power that’s him to town a brand new concept— open at 7:30. A suggested donation of $5 always turning up on rock radio, and Black Skies The Nakatani Gong Orchestra. The helps defray the cost of the performance.

The Suede Brothers. N I SK U NN ER GU T E P

Tatsuya Nakatani in his studio. North of Center 5

Film & Media MAY 11, 2011 The Illusionist Academy Award-nominated film now available on DVD

By Barbara Goldman acoustic instrumentation that segue an illegitimate daughter. According to The attention Chomet pays to his the viewer into each scene. True to the 2006 reading of The Illusionist script animation is surreal. Backgrounds and With a bit of magic, deceased form, the film’s music rarely includes at the London Film School introduced inanimate objects seem to take on life French filmmaker and actor Jacques any lyrics and words. by Chomet, the film was written and and develop their own personalities. Tati returns to the screen in The Tati’s original script was set in intended to make it as a live action film Each time the film is watched, elu- Illusionist (L’Illusionniste), a 2010 Oscar- Prague. However, Chomet moved it to with Tati and one of his daughters. sive new details such as street posters nominated animated film directed by Edinburgh where he lives and works. The living and deceased film col- and vehicles are sure to be seen. “Free Sylvain Chomet. Tati most definitely would give this laborators easily complement one Scotland” is painted on a building wall Tati, who died in 1982 at the age decision a nod after seeing Chomet’s another’s signature styles with a grace reflecting the time and consciousness of 75, became a global legend for his depiction of the northern seaside, as a best represented by both the modest of the country. City streets are domi- silent film style. His films transcended kilt-adorned Scottish drunkard squeals and decadent characters brought to life nated by fast moving taxis, double borders with a quiet physical grace with delight while rolling down the on screen. Among the film’s company decker buses, and the occasional horse attributed to “no subtitles” being nec- grass. The very scene alone will make is an array of time-tethered characters and buggy. Each character, each driver, essary no matter what language viewers you want to roll down a hillside. including a charismatic yet suicidal horse, chicken, even rat, has something spoke. The comedic drama begins in 1959 clown, a lonely alcoholic ventriloquist, Chomet identifies to the viewer with je The famous French icon wrote with a struggling French illusionist and a group of daring acrobats. ne sais quoi. the unproduced screenplay, but it was who finds his music hall act is being never brought to life until Tati’s daugh- replaced by more modern rock’n’roll ter, Sophie, asked Chomet to do the performers. While no rock star cameos honor. Chomet is best known for his take place, it’s easy to see nods ranging Local film happenings 2003 Oscar-nominated animated film from the hip jolting Elvis of the day The Triplets of Bellville. to a white suited Buddy Holly to the New York Money premieres KET’s Community Cinema Series A dreamy kaleidoscope of unhur- thunderous kicking and flaring of the at the Worsham Theatre Screens Welcome To Shelbyville ried watercolors, the wordless scenes Rolling Stones—and even the signature Stan Heaton’s short film, New This month’s installment of carry a hypnotizing handmade feel. hairstyles and fans of The Beatles. York Money, will screen on Friday, May KET’s free documentary series at the Chomet, once again, returns to the Down to the signature trench coat 13th at 7 P.M. in the Worsham Theater Lexington Public Library shows the style of his 2003 hand-drawn frames. and lanky legs, Tati’s persona is clearly (located on the main level of UK’s impact of rapidly changing demo- Digital details are used here and there, seen in the main character—as if he’d Student Center). The event is free to graphics in a small Tennessee com- but the still and moving images cascade played the role himself. Also shared by everyone, but the filmmakers will be munity. Welcome to Shelbyville provides across the screen naturally, remaining the illusionist is Tati’s real sir name, taking cash donations to help fund a glimpse at how longtime African- loyal to the artist’s desire for organic Tatischeff. upcoming projects. American and white residents con- composition that is often lost in this Tatischeff is forced to take to the The film tells the story of Al front the challenge of successfully digital age. Blue, brown, yellow, and road, wayfaring between chance per- Valentino (played by Scott Gilbert) integrating with a growing Latino pop- green overtones highlight every frame formances. Passing through a remote who, after losing his job, his home, and ulation and the arrival of hundreds of with the flow of water—each filled with village, our washed up illusionist his family in a tumultuous economy, Muslim Somali refugees in the town of precise lines and dedicated details. encounters a young fan convinced that joins with his friends to seek revenge Shelbyville. The screening will be held Every slurp of soup, meager his magic is a reality. After receiving a on a bank executive. Mike Cleary and at the Central Branch of the LPL at 6 applause, strained cough, screaming much needed pair of new shoes from Stan Heaton co-star in this character- P.M. on Thursday, May 19. The screen- microphone, snap of a rabbit’s teeth, Tatischeff, she sneaks her way into his driven criticism of the American hous- ing will be followed by a discussion. rain drop, and yes, even chilly breeze, suitcase and, eventually, into his heart ing crisis and its impact on the middle For more information, please visit easily lures any willing watcher into The two soon develop a father- class. www.ket.org/communitycinema. the arms of the subtle background. It daughter relationship which was is the film’s dominating melodies and rumored to reminisce that of Tati and Review: Thor By Kevin Martinez Unlike most summer blockbusters, this one doesn’t scream at you with a As a child, I had a great fascina- loud soundtrack from a bunch of for- tion with the character of Thor. This gettable pop metal bands. It also has a began when, as a 7-year-old, I was laid story that makes you care about these up sick with meningitis and my mom characters. Part of this, I would assume, brought me home an 8 inch Mego fig- is because the story was co-written by J. ure of Thor to cheer me up. From that Michael Straczynski of Babylon 5 fame. point on, I was hooked. I soon after JMS to his fans, he recently had been bought a giant size tabloid reprint the writer on Marvel’s monthly Thor of a classic storyline by Stan Lee and comic series. Jack Kirby. These comics had a bold- Thor is portrayed by Chris ness and captured my imagination. I Hemsworth, who played Capt. Kirk’s remember having a Mead notebook dad in JJ Abrams’ Star Trek update. and 7-11 Slurpee cups with Thor. The This guy is excellent. He plays Thor as comics were so vibrant that I even went a brash and temperamental character. and read the Norse myths on which Of course he ends up having to learn Jack Kirby and Stan Lee had based humility after having been manipu- their characters. In fact, I once aced a lated into starting a war with the test on Norse Mythology during my Frost Giants. These Frost Giants are senior year at Henry Clay because I the enemies of the people of Asgard, had been reading Walt Simonson’s and Odin (Anthony Hopkins) forbids brilliant run on Thor. I also can recall Thor from retaliating against them for the great disappointment back in the attacking his palace. late 1980’s when Thor appeared in an Loki, Thor’s brother, is the manip- Incredible Hulk TV movie of the week. A ulator in this film; and he is portrayed low budget approach may have worked quite well by Tom Hiddleston. Loki for the Hulk, but not for Thor. comes off as sympathetic, yet he’s the Thankfully, the new film from mythical snake in the garden of Eden Marvel Films and Paramount Pictures that is Asgard. He is a complex villain is a high budget attempt at bringing this instead of a one dimensional cliche. character into the mainstream. Director Thor, of course, takes Loki’s bait in a plot with a romantic interest Visually, it’s amazing—at least in the Kenneth Branagh has redeemed himself and attacks the Frost Giants. Odin ban- played by Natalie Portman. Thor’s scenes taking place in Asgard. The sets in the eyes of fanboys everywhere after ishes Thor and makes him mortal as enchanted hammer, the Mjolnir, lands were actually built instead of being letting us down back in the 1990’s with punishment for disobeying him. Thor in the New Mexico desert and draws green screened. The 3-D makes it seem his version of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. lands on Earth, and becomes involved attention from S.H.I.E.L.D., the secret even more vast. The special effects agency that has been featured in the are well done, but aren’t the focus of Iron Man movies. At that point the the film. Story counts with this one. film falls into place, and I really don’t The only real complaint I have is the want to give any more away. I’d rather fact that Thor only wears his helmet you go see this yourself and enjoy. I during the first few minutes of the will say this, Jamie Alexander as Sif is film. Dammit, Jack Kirby drew Thor great and, if I were DC Comics, I’d be with a helmet! Don’t insult the King! casting her as Wonder Woman. She’s Hopefully, the helmet will be worn in almost tough enough to be a skater next summer’s The Avengers. Speaking for R.O.C.K. (who, by the way, have of such, a word of advice: stay for the a bout on June 4th at the Lexington teaser after the credits. If you know Convention Center). your Marvel folklore, then you will This is the type of popcorn flick see what the plot for The Avengers is that is rare. It has a plot and it’s not gonna be. Of course, Captain America condescending to the audience or to will probably give us a few more clues the source material. If you enjoy Lord when it debuts in July. Of The Rings or the original Superman On a scale of 1-10 on the fanboy movie starring Christopher Reeve, meter, this one gets the Nigel Tufnel- Thor knows that life isn’t all warhammers and lutefisk. then this is the best of both worlds. approved 11. 6 North of Center

MAY 11, 2011 Sports

Kentucky River (cont.) continued from page 1 Ricky G’s driveway could accom- modate only one car at a time, and on Quaker Ladies (Houstonia caerulea), any given Sunday the overflow traffic Blue Phlox (Phlox divaricata), and Wild might line the road over the hill, across Hyacinth (Camassia scilloides), a poin- the creek, spilling into Gullett’s dead- tillist’s pallet of blues from which to end driveway. Those more furtive cus- paint a thousand skies. tomers might turn around and park, The first time I stumbled on this engines idling, lights off, in the gravel singular beauty I was stoned; it was lot at High Bridge Union Church, dark. And then my flashlight died. It waiting impatiently for the line to clear snowed later that night, the kind of and never once asking forgiveness. Just freak April snow that falls like torn another night of second-class business pieces of Wonderbread. In the frozen, on First Street in High Bridge. OR growling morning, the blooms were After several years of patronage, shriveled up, wilted lavender peering I felt comfortable enough to follow E AUHT Y TH

up beneath tiny hoods of snow. Ricky into the darkened backroom, ES T R

The uprooted clumps I clawed out, my hand crumpled around the cash in U O wetted with each stroke of my paddle, my pocket, and watch with fascination C bled earthen veins across the flat, plas- as this hometown entrepreneur opened Cold-water mist up the Dix River. tic bottom of the 14’ Coleman canoe a hinged piece of wood paneling to as we pushed against the brown cur- reveal the narrow, stocked shelves of— from Frankfort required passage re-envision itself—reassert itself in the rent; we were hung-over, otherworldly, get this—a refrigerated, load-bearing upstream, and the Dixie Belle, which political process on behalf of the river and fully given over to the bristling wall. That’s right. A fucking refriger- operated from Shaker Landing just and not just the people of Lexington cryogenics of spring morning snowfall. ated wall. upstream occasionally locked down and the other water-strapped cities and That afternoon I transplanted Blue- How he struck upon the idea of to the lower pool to treat passengers towns. For once, let’s first think of the Eyed Mary on the edge of the flood- a refrigerated wall is simple. For years, to a view of the mineral-stained cliffs river, and this means a comprehensive plane in my backyard. Laura planted bootleggers have hidden their wares around the bend toward Brooklyn. “think” of the river as both endan- Sweet Woodruff in a half whiskey bar- in walls. How he actually constructed Aside from the Belle, though, the only gered species and vital resource, a vital rel. We drank homebrew, made a snow- such system is the real puzzler. And large vessels were work barges hauling interest to an entire region, with direct man and watched it melt in the green- each time I deliver this fascinating men, materials and equipment to lock impact on the health and future of a ing Sunday-noon. For dinner, more detail of the story, I’m never com- and dam repair upstream. much larger watershed (the Ohio). A trout. When we drained the last of the pletely satisfied people understand, As the last Lockmaster at High logical first step would be reinvestment homebrewed pilsner, I trekked up the appreciate, or even believe the signifi- Bridge, Ricky unwittingly occupied in the locks and dams, coupled with a lock-hill to Ricky’s. cance of such an invention. If there a special, and I would say some- concerted effort to protect the headwa- were a bootleggers’ hall-of-fame, the what sad, place in the story of the ters above each fork from further degra- Bootleggers invention of the refrigerated wall cav- Kentucky. Though mechanization dation by the coal industry. In a dry county like Jessamine, ity would surely warrant Ricky G’s had dumbed-down the job, the title Responding only to crisis, as we it’s commonsense policy to maintain immediate induction. of Lockmaster was nevertheless one seem to have done from the begin- good relations with your community As a native son of High Bridge, to wear with pride, and whenever ning, with patch-up jobs and lower- bootlegger, particularly if you’re prone like Ricky G, I had an inside track. boats would come a-knockin’, he’d cost short-term fixes to the aging lock to bottle fever on Sunday afternoons. My presence at Ricky G’s on a Sunday jump into action with the same eager- and dam infrastructure, is only good On any other day of the week, finan- night had the natural ring of an inno- ness to please as did so many of his till the next crisis. But it’s not too dif- cial sanity should outweigh proximal cent neighborly calling. Those other predecessors. ficult to imagine catastrophe: chain- convenience, and the 45-minute to shadowy figures waiting in cars out- reaction failure. It has happened an hour roundtrip to Nicholasville side were just business. I was family. The length of the Kentucky before. In March of 1905, floodwaters or Lexington for retail liquor is justi- I was the one that was offered a seat When you drive down to lock 7 flanked the dams at locks 10 and 9, fiable. But Sundays are special in the in front of the television in the living now, or any other lock for that mat- and both pools were lost—a disaster room while Ricky ter, not much is going on. You might that took an entire year to remedy. muttered over his see a fisherman or two, a car full of How would a disaster like this affect shoulder, “Wait here hooligans drinking beer. But that’s it. cities like Winchester, Lexington, and talk to Lucille These once vital and culturally vibrant or Nicholasville, Harrodsburg, or while I go deal with places have fallen into disrepair, and Frankfort (to name a few) in 2011? these shithogs. I’ll be the decision to seal the lock doors And what radical alterations would right back.” has segmented the river for good, or such a disaster legitimize in the eyes at least for the foreseeable future. Call of policymakers? Lockmasters it travesty or misadventure, at every Having lived most of my life in B o o t l e g g i n g turn, on every occasion it seems we’ve and around a lock and dam commu- booze was his cot- done wrong by the river despite our nity, I can say this with surety: when tage industry. By intentions. the locks were in operation, the com- day, Ricky G carried Granted, creating slackwater munity was more vibrant, and a river the big wrench down allowed communities along the community that’s more vibrant could at Lock 7. Actually, Kentucky’s corridor to grow and pro- very easily be a community that’s more by the time he vide more and more opportunities attentive—more protective—of its river. assumed lockmaster as populations doubled, tripled, qua- Exactly how the Kentucky River mat- duties, turning the drupled, and so on. And surely with- ters to the people will, in large part, capstan by hand to out the relatively reliable pool-depths help determine its future. Will we open and close the provided by impoundment, munici- continue to alter the river to maintain locks (an endeavor pal straws would have to stretch far our growing needs, inflated desires, that required sev- and wide to find enough water to sat- and self-interests, or will we change

OR eral men) had long isfy needs of their populations and something about ourselves, our behav- since given way to businesses. iors and perceptions, to protect the E AUTH manhandling an integrity of the river and by doing so Y TH But closing up the locks and doing ES T electric drill motor nothing is not a long-term fix to our serve our own best interests? The latter R U O

C that allowed a single water-needs. Another drought like the would seem to be the essence of life by lockmaster to oper- one in 1988 will certainly push us to rheotaxis. Author as self-satisfied river rat, spring 1995. ate a lock unassisted. ever more radical alterations River traffic by this to the Kentucky’s current. hinterlands—that first (or perhaps last) time was somewhere south of anemic, And this is not the stuff of day of the week reigned over by preach- so the only time and energy-consum- fantasy. On more than one ers, old maids, and fried chicken. And, ing responsibility was taking care of occasion, groups have pro- of course, bootleggers like Ricky G. the grounds. posed damming and flood- Sundays in Driesville always necessi- The vast majority of Ricky’s on- ing the palisades section of tated a more liberal manipulation of the-clock time was spent idly watch- the river. Again, I think of the wallet. The menu went something ing the clock, shooting the shit with the poet Richard Hugo: like this: “Hoot” Gibson or “Walleye” Waller or Harvey “the Gut” or any one of Those who favor our plan to • Old-Milwaukee, Pounders: 6 @ $1 a number of locals that considered alter the river per can a trip to the locks part of Standard raise your hand. Thank you • Jim Beam #7: 1 @ $10 per pint Operating Procedure—an important for your vote. bottle component of one’s daily constitution. Last week, you’ll recall, I The Lockmaster’s house had long since spoke about how water Certainly not retail, but not alto- been dissembled, and the well-worn never complains. How it gether prohibitive prices either. A horseshoe pits were lost to weeds, so, runs where you tell it, modest splurge of personal resources aside from lawn-care, chitchat, and seemingly at home, flooding foisted upon me by dispassionate and shooing away the occasional truant or grain or pinched remote powers of authority. Other juvenile delinquent, being Lockmaster by geometric banks like distillations of devil sauce could be was about as close as one could come those in the graphic gotten, I’m sure, but I never made it to a non-job job as is possible, and depiction of our plan. We past Old Swill and Mr. Beam. And Ricky managed the operation with the ask for power: I’ll admit there’s a palpable thrill that pride and skill of a professional do- A river boils or falls to turn jolts a young man’s backbone when he little. A do-little, that is, perched aside our turbines. knows he has raised the floorboards the mighty Kentucky. The river approves our plans beneath this Nation of Laws, crawled Even still, Ricky’s tenure wasn’t to alter the river. through to the musty underworld, completely devoid of actual lockmaster- and traded legal tender for bootlegged ing. In the summer and fall, the occa- First of all, the Kentucky liquor. sional pleasure-boater and fisherman River Authority must North of Center 7

Opinion MAY 11, 2011 Letters to the editor Adjunct responses What can we do to change the Christian, thank you for speaking system? My working class family up for all us adjuncts suffering under has always been strong supporters of the current state of affairs (“Adjuncts: unions, but collective bargaining con- the invisible majority,” April 27). As tinues to be weakened. one of those adjuncts you mentioned Jodie who has taught several classes at sev- eral institutions of higher learning Not to be rude, but you are as simultaneously trying to make ends much a part of the problem by con- meet, I appreciate you making people tinuing to accept these terms. If you aware of our plight. Kudos! have a Ph.D., you should have found Trent a full time position by now. Adjuncts like you who survive on these terms OR

As a tenured at BCTC and accept them only allow the system E AUTH

I recognize that the system is set up in to continue. Why should the admin- Y TH ES T

the classic hierarchical divide and con- istration change if people continue to R U O quer model — diffuse collective power of work in these conditions? C workers by keeping each of us clawing for Anonymous a higher position and encourage those Dix River trout: not as beautiful as smallmouth bass. above to look down on those below. Author responds: Thank you Christian for provid- I’ve seen comments like the anony- Trout aren’t native to the Dix Author responds: ing your perspective on this. You are mous “Adjunct for extra money” post I agree with Wesley Houp (“High While I have no hard data, my edu- right, it is exploitive and abusive, and before. Blaming the victim is always Bridge: 100 year drift,” April 27) that cated guess is that stocked trout are in it is increasing in scale. For what it is easy. Homeless? Heck, like Reagan trout were never native to Dix River direct competition with native small- worth there are trying to said, people choose to be homeless. and survive only by artificial means, mouth. I don’t think it’s a fair compe- provide support to their “adjunct” col- Raped? Like a cop in Canada just including re-stocking. So they can’t tition either. By the time the trout are leagues and are working to bring atten- told a group a schoolchildren, women even reproduce. As for their impact on large enough to introduce into a stream, tion to this issue. invite rape if they dress like sluts. Poor aquatic species that are native, what are they’ve developed into pretty efficient Michael, Lexington or unemployed? You’re obviously not they doing to the smallmouth bass? Do predators, and they themselves are too trying hard enough. they occupy an eco-niche that small- large to be predated upon. They are able A colleague of mine at then-Lex- Garry Trudeau had a series of mouth do not? Or do they compete for to prey upon young, developing small- ington Community College, worked “Doonesbury” strips back in the food and habitat? mouth, but smallmouth cannot prey for years as an adjunct. Finally, they 1990’s that made the best analogy. He How is a trout better to catch or upon young, developing trout. Beyond had no classes for him. I last saw him depicted college teachers as migrant eat than a smallmouth bass? These the level of microinvertebrates, I don’t standing alone playing trombone at workers picked up from the street cor- tax-funded “trout programs” have think there are many eco-niches in a the amphitheater behind Memorial ner by a farm truck. Yes, like migrant been going on for a long time in stream or river. Chapel. His depression bloomed into workers, we work for criminally low many places where smallmouth are I’ll go on record: trout are NOT bet- a full flowered psychosis. wages, which, in a cold, free market native. Why? Houp notes that “Of all ter to catch and/or eat than smallmouth. A coordinator of the Business world, means we’ve priced ourselves the native fish fauna of N America, Yes, trout are beautiful, but smallmouth, Writing “department” at UK died too low. But migrant workers and they’re tops in terms of coloration,” while not as colorful, are even more alone in his apartment under suspi- adjuncts need to eat. and that’s all I can come up with. beautiful because they belong here. cious circumstances as his meager “Why not just get another job?” Smallmouth are just plain brown and To answer Bruce’s thoughtful ques- adjunct position began slipping away. such posts as this usually continue, may not fit the decor of outdoor- tion: yes, I believe we need to put an Meanwhile, professors in the “You have multiple college degrees, apparel catalogs from New England. end to tax-funded trout programs in English dept. at UK spouted Marxist and, as we all know, a college degree But if they are being displaced by Kentucky and make a concerted effort diatribes against exploiting workers is a virtual guarantee of a high-paying exotic game fish that are only exotic, to protect our native species, particu- while wage slaves toiled right under job.” Anybody taken a good look at and if this costs money. shouldn’t it larly smallmouth bass. It makes no their noses. the unemployment stats lately? At the stop pretty soon? ecological sense to invest in maintain- Tim, Lexington economy? Bruce Williams, Lexington ing populations of non-native species. God and Superman (cont.)

continued from page 7 who betrays no specific knowledge of suggest that some of the school’s hos- the Herald-Leader, May 2, “Trustees the place he’s about to assume control pital revenues over a 10 year period in pick UAB provost; Finalist Eli before the Board’s behind-closed-doors over. In fact, Capilouto confessed dur- the late 90s and early Aughts came as Capilouto oversees top medical hiring committee, had argued that a ing his one-day campus vetting tour the result of the hospital defrauding research campus” private search would yield better candi- that he “wasn’t looking for a job at all” the government—a double-dipping of • “We are absolutely, totally unified dates. Greenwood/Asher claimed that before being contacted by Greenwood/ charges that one whistle-blower esti- behind Eli Caplouto. We could not such a search would attract elite admin- Asher about the opening. mated at $300 million dollars. be more elated.” From the Herald- istrators from elite-tier schools, sitting In fact, the common theme sur- If true, this would mean that part of Leader, May 4, “UK’s next leader presidents from other well-respected rounding Capilouto’s hire has been Capilouto’s reputation as an ingenious vows to give job his all; Capilouto schools, well-known politicians—and that the life-long Alabama native does generator of federal research medical wins unanimous Board OK” others wielding great power who might not know UK or Lexington or the state. funds and hospital revenue—the rea- not want their names public. His only Kentucky tie seems to be that son he was hired at UK—owes itself to A private search would also allow his former boss came from Louisville a ten-year period of legally question- North of Center is a periodical, a it, Greenwood/Asher claimed with the and that as a generally Republican sup- able practices. Surely this is something place, and a perspective. Read on to Board’s tacit approval, to assume (for porter of political figures he contrib- that Greenwood/Asher’s deep drilling find out what that means. a price) the role of the media: in place uted 200 dollars to Mitch McConnell. might have come across? And if it of public vetting on the open market, it His short overnight incognito visit the did, perhaps one of the other highly Editor & Publisher would privately “deep drill” into candi- week before accepting the job was his qualified candidates that Brockman Danny Mayer date backgrounds as a way to glean better first trip to Lexington; he didn’t even was so high upon might have been a information about potential candidates. really know much about the (suppos- more prudent choice. (Unless we are to Features Brockman’s assurance that not edly nationally acclaimed) Top 20 believe that all serious candidates rou- Beth Connors-Manke one, but up to five Supermen Gods Business Plan. tinely have Medicaid-related charges were within UK’s fair grasp, was a vali- Here’s Capilouto’s response to a leveled against them.) Film & Media Lucy Jones dation of that deep drilling. Secrecy at question about the city’s town-gown But again, I didn’t expect much at its most democratically efficient, or so relations, a topic that in March Britt all from this hire. Granted, I’m mildly Sports it seemed. Brockman assured Lexington residents surprised that UK went for “Jewish Troy Lyle would be asked of all potential can- with an immigrant’s story” for its piece No gods, no supermen didates: ”I just don’t know enough to of the multicultural pie—I expected Music Fast forward to your next answer this question.” female, maybe Indian, middle-aged Buck Edwards University of Kentucky President, The new UK CEO’s response was a or older and crusty—but beyond that, Birmingham familiar refrain. Capilouto didn’t have nothing. That a mid-tier-university sec- Design Provost Eli Capilouto, voted into the much to say about athletics, campus ond-in-charge medical administrator Keith Halladay presidency by a unanimous 19-0 vote maintenance and infrastructure issues, unloved by his faculty for being auto- of the UK Board of Trustees on May 3. salary inequities, student tuition, or cratic was enticed behind closed doors Illustrations The corporate search firm that political funding (all of which have to accept a $650,000 job to run what is, Noah Adler didn’t see the value in conducting on- been prominently covered by the essentially, a publicly funded hospital campus interviews gave us a president Herald-Leader, the city’s paper of record, with its own professional sports team, Contributors in the past four months.) One has to makes perfect sense to me. Michael Benton wonder, what the hell were candidates Of course, maybe I’m just a pes- Andrew Battista talking about during their interviews simist. Perhaps you agree with Britt Dylan Blount with the Board and Greenwood/Asher? Brockman as he’s made the rounds Wes Houp And for a well-vetted, deep-drilled selling UK’s next chief: Kenn Minter

Y Captain Commanokers K candidate, both the Lexington Herald- Tim Staley TUC Leader and Barefoot and Progressive • “We couldn’t be more happy with

F KEN have quickly found several red flags this selection.” From BizLex, May Please address correspondence,

ITY O in Capilouto’s file. In addition to a 1, “UK selects UAB Provost as new including advertising inquiries and ERS

IV discrimination lawsuit and numerous president.”

N letters to the editor, to:

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