Anecdotes of Bench and Bar the LIBRARY of the UNIVERSITY of CALIFORNIA RIVERSIDE
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Anecdotes of Bench and Bar THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA RIVERSIDE Ex Ubrii C. K, OGDEN ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR MY THE RT. HON. G. W. K. RUSSPXL, P.C. ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR COLLECTED AND ARRANGED BY * ARTHUR H. ENGELBACH WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY THE RT. HON. F. E. SMITH P.C, K.C., M.P. % LONDON GRANT RICHARDS LTD. PUBLISHERS — 'Judge, but not merely a Judge . the friend of his friends and the Muses Friend of humanity too." On the Oxford Circuit. PRINTKD BY TIIR RIVKRSIDE TRKSS LIMITED EDINBURGH 1413 TO SIR CHARLES JOHN DARLING WISE AND HUMANE JUDGE AND CON- STRUCTIVE AND PENETRATING WIT WHOSE SCINTILLA JURIS NOT ONLY ARE THE DELIGHT OF HIS CON- TEMPORARIES BUT MUST EN- GAGE THE ATTENTION OF ALL FUTURE COMPILERS OF SUCH BOOKS AS THIS INTRODUCTION I HAVE been asked, and have gladly agreed, to write an introduction to the present volume of anecdotes relating to the Bench and the Bar. Many of the stories are new, and some at least of them are ex- cellent. To lawyers they will recall many pleasant conversations at those circuit messes which are now almost the sole surviving centres of the social life of the Bar. The criticism may perhaps be made that many of these anecdotes appear more irresistibly funny amid the port and the walnuts than they do when read in cold print. But too severe a standard must not be exacted of those who minister to our amusement ; and Mr Engelbach, who has so skil- fully collected these anecdotes, has, I think, laid us all under an obligation. Many sarcasms have been directed at both the Bench and the Bar. Their humour, we are told, is mechanical and sterile. Sometimes we are assured (and not always without reason) that such appreciation as it receives is servile. The wit of lawyers, it is said, is very small beer. No one would deny that some measure of truth underlies these criticisms. Many of the proceedings in courts of justice are so tedious that there arises a great 9 10 INTRODUCTION temptation to alleviate them by humour even if one has nothing particularly amusing to say. Thus we sometimes attempt humour, claiming no particular gifts in that field, simply because even a poor joke is a welcome alternative to the stagnant dullness of so many litigious proceedings. The relationship subsisting between Bench and Bar in England is both curious and interesting. It does not exist, so far as I am aware, in any country whose jurisprudence is of Latin origin. Our judges are not a class apart. They do not undergo from youth a specialised preparation for judicial duties. They develop into judges if Fortime favours them, and if they are very successful practitioners at the Bar. It follows from this circumstance that there always exists a genuine comradeship between the judge and the advocate. The judge was perhaps quite recently an advocate himself. The advocate, however inex- perienced, is perhaps sustained by the hope that somewhere stowed away in his knapsack he carries the baton of a marshal of France. The judge therefore, if normal, is anxious to assist the advocate ; while the advocate on his part desires to co-operate with the judge in the dignified prosecution, consistently with precedent, of the high cause of Justice. The coimtry is, I believe, and in the main justly, proud alike of its judges and its advocates. Our judges are almost all able, and they are all incorruptible. The best of our INTRODUCTION 11 advocates are eloquent, courageous and high principled. The constant association, founded upon mutual respect, of two such classes has naturally produced many flashes of humour which are worthy of pre- servation. I am satisfied that no one who glances through these good-humoured pages will refuse an expression of gratitude to the gentleman who has made so discriminating a compilation. F. E. Smith. THE COMPILER IS INDEBTED TO THE FOLLOWING WORKS: Abinger, Lord, Memorials of Scarlett, P. C. Adolphus, Recollections of Henderson, Mrs E. Bar, The Irish .... O' Flanagan, James R, Bench and Bar, Wit of . Moncrieff, F, C. Bench and Bar .... Robinson, B. C. Bowen, Lord, Life of . Cunningham, Sir H. Bramwell, Lord, Memoir of . Fairfield, Charles Chance, Medley, A . Anonymous Chancellors, Lives of . Campbell, Lord Circuit Journeys .... Cohen, H. T. Circuit, Random Recollections of the Midland .... Walton, Robert Circuit, Anecdotes of the Connaught Burke, O. J. Circuit, The Munster O' Flanagan, James R. Cockburn, Lord H., Life of . Cockburn, H. A. Coleridge, Lord, Life of Curran, Life of ... • Mackenzie, R. S. Edinburgh, Traditions of Chambers, R. Eldon, Lord, Life of . Twiss, Horace Experiences of a Barrister's Life . Ballantine, Serjeant Hawkins, Sir Henry, Reminiscences of Harris, R., K.C. Hill, H. D., Reminiscences of Hill, R. D. Jessel, Sir George Willis, Wm. " Judges, A Generation of " By their Reporter Kay's Edinburgh Portraits Kay, John K.C., Reminiscences of a Crispe, T. E., K.C. Kerr, Commissioner Lewis, G. P. 13 . nn.K AUTHOR l,.Tw, i iuinoiirs of tlu- l^rwood, J. I^iw and l-.iwycrs . Poison, A. l,.i\v and Lawyers, Curiosities of James, C. Law, Oddities of* tlic Heard, F. F. Law, The Jay, Cyrus Lawyers, A Hook about JeafTerson, J. C. Lcf^al Facetia' VV'illock, John Lockwood, Sir Frank Bine 11, A. Maulc, W. H., Sir, Life of . Leathly, K Middle 'I'enij)Ie, Still Life of the I'horpe, W. (I. Middle Temple, lablc Talk of the Thorpe, W. G. O'Connell, Bar Life of . O' Flanagan, James R. O'Cdunell, Personal Keeollectionsof Daunt, VV. J. O. N. ** " " Pie Powder . " A Circuit Tramp Pollock, Sir Frederickj Personal Recollections of Anonymous Professional Uecollections, Some Anonymous Recollections of 70 years of Irish Life Lefanu, William R. Russell, Sir Charles, Life of . O'Brien, R. B. Seintillie Juris Mr Justice Darling Scottish Jests and Anecdotes Chambers, R. Sketches, Legal and Political Shiel, R. Lalor Solicitor, Jottings of an Old . HoUams, Sir J. Westbury, Life of Nash, T. A. 14 ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR IT is told of a popular solicitor that he called upon another brother of the profession, and asked his opinion upon a certain point of law. The lawyer to whom the question was addressed drew himself up " " and said : I generally get paid for what I know ! The questioner took half-a-crown from his pocket, " handed it to the other and coolly remarked : Tell " me all you know, and give me the change 1 DURING the time Mr Adkins—or Harry Adkins, as he was generally called—^was governor of Warwick gaol, some alteration had to be made in the " drop," it being suggested there should be room for five. On its being put up for examination, Adkins observed it was hardly so large as he intended, at the same time expressing his doubts whether it could conveniently accommodate so many as five. Upon this the worthy carpenter, looking up at the machine, and surveying it with a business eye, " exclaimed : Lor', sir, it's all right ; you may take my word for it, five could hang there werry com- fortable." B 17 ; 18 ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR THE son-in-law of a Chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative practice of the latter, came one nioniing in breathless haste to inform him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination a cause which had been pending in the court for sev^eral years. Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran of the law, his intelligence was received with indigna- tion. " It was by this suit," exclaimed he, " that my father was enabled to provide for me, and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your children and grandchildren." BOY was brought before a Glasgow magistrate A charged with stealing a handkerchief from a gentleman's pocket. The indictment ha\4ng been " read, the bailie addressing the boy said : I hae nae doot ye did the deed, for I had a handkerchief ta'en out o' my ain pouch this verra week, so you maun gang to the jail for sixty days." A friend of the boy's remarked that the case had not been " proved against him. Oh ! then in tliat case," replied the worthy bailie, " I'll just gie ye thirty days." On being again informed that even this sentence was a strain upon the law, he finally dis- " posed of the case by saying : Weel, my lad, the evidence is a wee bit jimp this time, so I'll let ye aff " but see and no do't agin ! ANECDOTES OF BENCH AND BAR 19 MEDICAL men are not as a rule the best witnesses, being too fond of using technical words pecuhar to them in their own profession. In an action for assault tried by a Derbyshire common jury before Mr Justice Patteson, a surgical witness was asked to describe the injuries the " plaintiff had received ; he stated he had ecchy- mosis " of the left eye. Upon the judge inquiring whether that did not mean what was commonly understood by a black eye, the witness answered : " Yes." " Then why did you not say so, sir ? What do the jury know of ' ecchymosis ' ? They might think, as the farmer did of the word ' felicity,' used by a clergyman in his sermon, that it meant some- thing in the inside of a pig." MR JUSTICE MAULE was somewhat touchy in his temper, and was possessed of caustic wit.