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Love in the Home

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Love in the Home The HOME where the Love Spirit dwells “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, In the Home joy, peace, pa­­tience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentle- ness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22, 23) (Galatians 5:22, 23a). How can a family have a successful Christian today! We say, with equal fervor, that we love home? If all the good advice ever given about God, love our mates, love our children and our making a home happy were condensed into one parents, love our country, love our neighbors, word, that word would surely be “love.” If we love bananas, love shopping, love football, and want our homes to succeed, they must be char- love watching television. How is the love that acterized by love! can make our homes succeed related to these Paul acknowledged the importance of love in other loves? In this lesson, we will answer two the Christian life—and, therefore, in the Chris- questions about the love spoken of in Galatians tian home—when he began the list of the char- 5:22, 23. acteristics of the fruit of the Spirit with “love.” He wrote, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, WHAT IS THE LOVE peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, THAT IS PART OF THE FRUIT gentleness, self-control; against such things there OF THE SPIRIT? is no law” (Galatians 5:22, 23). The word for “love” found in our text is We should not be surprised that Paul began aÓga¿ph (agape). This is the type of love God has with love. Love plays a prominent role in the for us (John 3:16), and we are to have this kind of Christian religion. In the description of God, love for God and for others (Matthew 22:37–39). love is prevalent because “God is love” (1 John The same word is used for “love” in 1 Corinthians 4:8). God’s relationship with man is, above all, 13 and for the kind of love that a husband is to characterized by love (John 3:16; 1 John 4:10; have for his wife (Ephesians 5:25). Romans 5:8, 9). The two great commandments What is this love? Agape is not primarily an given to us by God are to “love . God” and emotion, since it can be commanded and emo- “love your neighbor” (Matthew 22:37–39). As tions cannot be commanded. Rather, it is pri- Christ’s disciples, the foremost commandment marily an act of the will—a determination to do we are to keep is to “love one another” as Christ what is best for another person, for the one loved. has loved us (see John 13:34, 35). According to Such determination results in certain behaviors. 1 Corinthians 13, love is greater than any other In other words, agape love is a commitment to attribute or gift we possess. Paul concluded that do what is best for the loved one. This is the kind chapter by saying, “But now faith, hope, love, of love which will help to produce a God- abide these three; but the greatest of these is love” pleasing home. (1 Corinthians 13:13).1 Agape love is not based on external circum- The word “love” is used in so many ways stances—on the beauty, desirability, goodness, or worthiness of the one loved. After we grow 1In other passages, as well as in 1 Corinthians 13, old, after our hair turns gray or falls out, after when love is listed along with other desirable spiritual we lose whatever beautiful figure we once had, graces, love occupies a preeminent position, either at the beginning of the list (as in Galatians 5:22, 23) or at the after wrinkles come and pains beset us, and after end (2 Peter 1:5–7; Colossians 3:12–14). romance recedes, this love remains. 1 Love continues even when the one loved— can be said about it. whether a mate, a child, or a parent—is unlovable, Second, agape love can lead to a successful home when he or she has failed to live up to expecta- because it will produce people who are easy to live tions or has done something wrong. Even then, with. We read in 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a, when love is not deserved, agape love remains. How is it possible to love one who is unde- Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not serving of our love? When a wife is loving, when act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not a husband has just brought his wife a gift, or provoked, does not take into account a wrong when the children have obediently cleaned their suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes rooms and are all dressed up and looking their all things, hopes all things, endures all things. best for worship services, it is easy to love the Love never fails. people in the family. However, when the baby has cried all night, or when a six-year-old breaks Would it not be easy to live with someone with his mother’s favorite dish, or when a teenager is these characteristics? rebellious—again—loving our family mem- Third, agape love can lead to a successful home bers seems more difficult. When a spouse is because it will cause the people in the home to treat complaining or is neglecting duties at home to one another right. While it is commendable for the be a more devoted employee, or when an aging people in the home to say “I love you” to one parent is stubborn and cantankerous—how are another frequently, what is more important in we to love our family members then? Some- the home environment is for us to exhibit love in one may say, “That kind of love is humanly our actions. In our homes we need to do as John impossible!”—and that is true! However, what exhorted Christians to do: “Little children, let us is humanly impossible is divinely possible! Be- not love with word or with tongue [only], but in cause we have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, deed and truth” (1 John 3:18). The characteristics and because we have the example of God’s love of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a suggest that we for undeserving mankind, we can love as God can know those who love because they behave loves! We can love even those who do not deserve lovingly! to be loved. In practical terms, what does it mean to be- When we love like that, demonstrating agape have lovingly? It means that each grand parent, love toward our family members, our homes will parent, or child will treat the others in the home be pleasing to us and to God. as he or she would like to be treated (Matthew 7:12). HOW CAN SUCH LOVE We need to understand that marriage and HELP TO PRODUCE family relationships are human relationships, A SUCCESSFUL HOME? and the rules that govern all human relationships First, agape love can lead to a successful home apply in the home. I once spent some time try- because it must first be directed toward God. The ing to come up with a list of “do’s” and “don’ts” foremost commandment, according to Jesus (Mat- regarding the relationship of husband and wife. I thew 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27), is to “love” was trying to think of some “rules” that applied (the verb form of agape) God. Whatever the size especially to that relationship and not to any or makeup of our home, we can obey that com- other. I was unable to do so. Everything I could mand. We are to love God by putting Him first think of that was needed to have a good relation- in everything we do: We can do this by striving ship between husband and wife was also needed always to do His will at home, in business, at to have a good relationship with anyone else. work or play, and in our personal relationships; There are no special rules for personal relations by worshiping and praising Him, praying to Him, in marriage and the family. If we want to have and reading and studying His Word; by being good relationships with our spouses, our parents, His faithful children. Then we can almost be or our children, then we need to treat them as certain of having a strong and happy home— kindly and considerately as we treat anyone else because the home in which God is honored above with whom we want to get along. all else is a successful home, no matter what else Let us think about it this way: If we want to 2 make friends with someone, how do we do it? If These lessons are applicable to single people we want to remain friends with someone, how do as well as to those who are married. However, we do it? How do we treat our good friends? If agape love is a commitment that should be espe- we do the same for our parents, our mates, and cially emphasized with regard to the love that our children, we will be acting lovingly toward husband and wife have for one another. them. When a man and a woman marry, they com- In contrast, the absence of love is obvious in mit themselves to one another.
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