FREE Dining • Shopping Lodging • Humor The Conch Republic Entertainment OCONUT ELEGRAPH TCHE COCONUT TELEGRAPH IS PROUD TO BE THE OFFICIAL NEWSPA T PER OF THE NORTHERNMOST TERRITORIES OF THE CONCH REPUBLIC
101425 Overseas Hwy. • PMB #628 • Key Largo, FL 33037 • 305-304-2837 • www.theconchtelegraph.com • March 2020
Attractions Music Spotlight: Micah Gardner Keys Residents Take On Water Fees in Everglades Nat’l Park What’s Hot & What’s Not Billy Davidson: 30 Years Dick Rutkowski Makes a Difference
Maps Key Largo Locator Map Page Getting from Here to There
All the Buzz Cartoon by Rodney Nelson Dawn Wiggins, Ed. S. Coco-Nut Funnies Conch Characters Business in the Keys
The Mangrove Galley Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, a celebration of our local Emerald Isle. 2 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 3
Coconut Telegraph Notice: We do not The Conch Republic 305.304.2837 mail out the Coconut March 2020 COCONUT TELEGRAPH www.TheConchTelegraph.com Telegraph and we do Independently Owned Local Newspaper [email protected] Volume 14 Issue #164 n o t s e l l s u b s c r i p t i o n s . It’s available free online: 101425 Overseas Hwy. Key Largo, Florida Keys PMB #628 33037 Prestige Publishing, Inc theconchtelegraph.com. Islamorada 101425 Overseas Hwy. For comments please visit PMB #628 The Conch Telegraph on Articles MM82 at the Mermaid Key Largo, FL 33037 Facebook. Dick Rutkowski Has Made a Difference 5 Nightly Cast of Characters: Deadline Spotlight on: Micah Gardner, Barstool Sailor 7 SUNSET for the Editor/Sales/Distribution Sounds of the Keys 10 Coconut Telegraph’s Denise Malefyt Keys Residents Take Action on Water Fees in the Park 11 CELEBRATION! next issue is 305-304-2837 Getting from Here to There - Keys Map Page 12-13 Thursday, [email protected] Voted the best sunset LoreleiCabanaBar.com 305-664-2692 Conch Characters 14 March 19, 2020 Lorelei can host private parties, weddings and rehearsal dinners. See our website for details. Advertising Consultant location year after year! & Roving Writer Celebrating 30 Years with Billy Davidson 15 This Month’s Live Entertainment and Events at the Lorelei Contact Denise at Islamorada and Tavernier Mangrove Galley: Broccoli - Cheese Soup 16 7 days • 4-6pm 305-304-2837 Happy Hour Marilee Free Classified Ads 16 $3 Well Drinks [email protected] 305-517-9279 Adopt a Key Largo Animal Shelter Pet 17 $1 off Bottle Beers Advertising Production Key Largo Locator Map Page 18 $1 off House Wines Sue Beal Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner by Dawn Wiggins, Ed. S. 19 $1.25 Domestic Drafts 305-451-4601 Coco“Nut” Funnies 20-21 $2.25 Specialty Drafts beal_s @bellsouth.net Business in the Keys 22 Open for Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner • 7am-10pm I got drunk last night Enjoy breakfast on the deck overlooking the water. Editorial - Helping Hands in Our Community and decided to do my Enjoy lunch or dinner on the beach. own taxes, and Thank you to everyone Another great cause is a guess what! who donated to the Cooler of go fund me account for Dick Cheer and those who helped “Hyperbaric” Rutkowski. See sell raffle tickets and to all page 5. Rutkowski has helped those who bought them to hundreds of people with his benefit Tonjia Rand. Tonjia knowledge and his hyperbaric is the front desk clerk at chambers here in Key Largo I’m getting 4 million Gilbert’s Resort and a bar- for free. Now he needs our dollars back this year! tender at the American Le- help to continue saving lives. gion. She recently lost both Attention Veterans - her parents and underwent Stop by the American Legion surgery in February for colon to find out how you can get a cancer. The raffle money is free guitar and lessons. No strings attached... pun in- ST. PATRICK’S DAY helping Tonjia recover while SPECIAL EVENT she recuperates and can- tended! Veterans Get Guitars "SUNDAY SCHOOL" with Bloody Marys, not work at her 2 jobs. For is a non-profit organization. $3 Mimosas & Screwdrivers those that were not able to They come to you and give The Rockin' Magic of MICHAEL TRIXX every Sunday, 7 to 11 am buy tickets and want to help you a guitar lesson and a free Most MONDAYS • WEDNESDAYS • FRIDAYS at Sunset Tonjia you can mail a check guitar. to Tonjia Rand ℅ American For more info you can also We have 32 world-renowned Legion Post 333, 2 Seagate check out their Facebook Photo: Sean T. Hannan and FISHING GUIDES based at Lorelei! Blvd., Key Largo, Fl 33037. page: Veterans Get Guitars. Key Largo veteran Bill Wilson.
Disclaimer The Coconut Telegraph © 2006-2020 is published monthly by Prestige Publishing, tion of the publisher. The Coconut Telegraph assumes in good faith that all editorial INC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without and advertising material submitted are the original property of the advertiser. The written consent of the publisher. The Coconut Telegraph welcomes written ar- Coconut Telegraph may not be held responsible for errors, omissions, or for circum- ticles, photos, and artwork of local interest to be used and/or edited at the discre- stances beyond our control that may affect the distribution schedule. 4 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 5
People Who Have Made a Difference In Our Community Dick Rutkowski, Owner of Hyperbarics International
TESTIMONIALS:
“Dick gave me 8 treatments Hyperbaric Medicine. Many a after my stroke. He did this life has been saved because for free. I can not tell, what of his knowledge and dedica- effect it had on me. But I am tion to this community. walking, speaking normal. Who —Captain Loralee Carpenter knows where I would be without the treatments? Mr. Dick Rutkowski, "genius" Thank you Dick and I hope owner of Hyperbaric Interna- you are able to continue.” tional in Key Largo, has —Lynn Carpenter treated me 52 times in his chamber. My blood results “Back in 2013, my husband which he requests we monitor Lynn suffered a debilitating have improved. This finally stroke resulting in partial gives me hope since years of paralysis and a significant traditional medicine, including amount of stroke pain. It was chemo didn't work for me. after Lynn was able to walk Words can't explain my with a walker that Dick appreciation and gratification. offered his services of — Mike Le Boeuf hyperbaric treatments to Leukemia Patient him. We went in together, Lynn on O² and me breathing Hyperbarics Interna- ambient air while monitoring tional (Dick Rutkowski) needs Largest Tiki Bar in the Keys! him. According to Dick, we your help to continue treat- noticed many patient Hyperbarics International to 107900 Overseas Hwy were looking for an optimum ments and research. For 45 www.gilbertsresort.com improvements with HBO and provide hyperbaric sessions level of saturation to obtain years Hyperbarics Interna- 305-451-1133 Isobaric high-pressure sur- and education at no cost for the desired effect which was tional and Dick have been face oxygen for approved those who are in need. to alleviate the nerve pain treating and teaching all non-approved indications (no associated with stroke. After levels of diving and clinical insurance). 100% of donations will be 7 visits, there was some medical personnel, including SATURDAYS THIS MONTH: In addition to treatments applied to assisting those noticable improvement. CME's and CEU's. Dick has and teaching, Dick continues I've known Dick for 32 treated over 1200 patients people in need with diving and 8 am - 10 pm daily. to study and conduct yrs. He was instrumental in including veterans and many hyperbaric medical conditions research in the following the Dive Community lecturing who have no income or insur- because of not being qualified focus areas: physiology of often for the crews of the ance and requiring multiple for hospital administration. existing HBO treatments and Funds will also continue to Saturday, Mar. 7 Saturday, Mar. 7 Saturday, Mar. 14 local dive shops on Medic treatments. Being a free- tables, Isobaric Surface UNCLE SMOKEY BOMBSHELL STATIC First Aid for Diving and standing clinic, Dick has support educating and advis- 1-5 PM 7-11 PM 1-5 PM Oxygen, TBI (traumatic brain ing diving and clinical medical STUNNING FLOWERS injury), dysfunctional brains, and non-medical personnel —AND— leukemia, lymphoma and other with dive related and hyper- VISIT OUR AMAZING forms of cancer. Research is baric medical problems. also needed for misuse of We would like to express GIFT medical antibiotics, treat- our gratitude to those of you Saturday, Mar. 14 Saturday, Mar. 21 Saturday, Mar. 21 ment of other animal toxins, who have donated and shared DOUBLE DOWN SOUTHERN STAMPEDE IGOR & THE RED SHOP and medical health concerns this mission so far. Thank you 7-11 PM 1-5 PM ELVISES 7-11 PM of animals aboard aircraft for your support! and in restaurants..etc. Pub- You can donate online at lished papers are available DickRutkowski GoFundMe or for most of these subjects. send a check to Hyperbarics 100% of donations made International, Inc., 98840 305-453-4844305-453-4844 to this campaign will contrib- Overseas Highway, Key Largo Saturday, Mar. 28 Saturday, Mar. 28 Saturday, Mar. 1 & 28 wwwwww..kkeylaeylarrgocongoconcchhouse.comhhouse.com 305-451-3702 • 99551 Overseas Highway • KeyLargoFlorist.com ute directly to Dick and 33037. Phone 305-451-2551. CAT DADDIES TRIP MACHINE MICHAEL TRIXX 1-5 PM 7-11 PM 8 pm show 6 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 7
Conch Entertainer Spotlight On: Micah Gardner – The Barstool Sailor The Sunshine Billionaire Spreads His Wealth of Song, Wisdom, Fun and Humor by Marilee Free
Micah is an euphonious Dockside, Backside of Sun- musician, who writes and sings rise, Trial of Miles, and his The Morgan Insurance Group is now MIG 13. Under new management, still locally owned and operated for over 30 years. about the “lure of sea-level latest endeavor, Live @ We continue to proudly serve as the Florida Keys premier agency for all of your insurance and nancial services needs. living.” With songs like ‘Sun- Gypsy‛s, which takes a musical shine Billionaire,‛ ‘The Last journey into the realm of ★★★★★ ★★★★★ Key‛s Critter,‛ ‘Tan Girl‛ and bossanova and Celtic WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED ‘Humphrey the Manatee,‛ his sound. shows revel in emotional Micah gives loving Micah invites you to go Barstool Sailing with him. PERSONAL BUSINESS BUSINESS SERVICES GROUP PLANS FINANCIAL SERVICES versatility comprised of gratitude to Desiray Home General Liability Payroll Group Health Full Client Service originals and a few eclectic Pruett. They are shares his wealth of knowl- Wind Commercial Property Bene ts / Full Worksite Bene ts Group Life Compliance covers. long-time friends edge on craft beer as well as Flood Commercial Auto HR Management Group Dental Group & Individual Living in paradise, Micah is who met when they grateful to call Islamorada were aspiring musi- where to go and what to do Auto Worker’s Compensation Compliance Group Disability 401K / Retirement Planning for fun in the Upper Keys. Marine Surety Bonds (STD & LTD) Annuities home. He also welcomes the cians performing at opportunity to travel by You can see Micah‛s duo Health THREE LOCATIONS: adjacent venues Island Coming Soon: Marathon Location ‘Barstool Sailing‛ around the Grill and Smuggler‛s Cove. show the 2nd and 4th Satur- Life world. Truly appreciative of This fall they will be going on days of the month at the Disability KEY LARGO MIAMI BIG PINE KEY Micah expresses his his blessings, he embraces a ‘Tropical Hibernation Tour‛ Florida Keys Brewery with 102481 Overseas Hwy 4000 Ponce De Leon Blvd, Ste 400 31109 Ave A #4 gratitude to fans and friends Long Term Care life at every turn, being a where Micah will do house master bassist Cliff Stutts. Key Largo, FL 33037 Coral Gables, FL 33146 Big Pine Key, FL 33043 that have supported, men- teacher, tour guide, musician, concerts and small venue He also rotates performances tored and helped him live the ★★★★★★★★★★ FREE QUOTES - CALL TODAY! ★★★★★★★★★★ storyteller, songwriter and shows from South Florida to at Marker 88, The Lorelei, dream. Master guitarist, Dave now a beer-tender at the Maine. With multiple stops OV and Amara Cay. 305-451-4788 • [email protected] • mig13.com Feder gave Micah lessons Florida Keys Brewery. along the way, he will be For more information when he first realized he As a casual observer of bringing his brand of island contact Micah through his could use the help. Lifelong change, and with his true folk music to private audi- website: barstoolsailor.com. friends Dave Eaken, TJ people-pleaser skills, he has ences of friends and family. Hayes, John Gallant, Bobby become a master of wordplay. Desiray and Micah are Rodgers, Maria Wagner and In the late 90s, Micah was creating an online store called Joe B. have always had his the lyricist and lead singer on Sunshine Billionaire Ware back. He gives credit to 3 albums for the Ft. Lauder- with an eclectic array of Wood Campbell for dialing in dale ska/reggae band Carn- clothing, jewelry, music, his live sound. As for the top egie Tide. His solo albums wood-burned carvings and art hat, it was a gift from a include Tales from the designed especially for the friend and is worn in honor of sub-tropical the late Jack Snipes. lifestyle. Songs may finish and gigs You can catch him beer- Cheryl McBay, may end, but people tending at the Florida Keys never forget the music from the Brewery, MM 82, Monday and and musicians that touch Florida Keys Wednesday nights, where he their hearts and souls. Brewery, did the artwork for their latest Sun- We Stock Guitar Strings shine Billion- aire attire. — New & Used Guitars — When Micah and Desiray put their ideas Custom together, they CORAL FINANCIAL Jewelry are a buoyant Jewelry & Pawn force of cre- MM102 ativity, life Oceanside 453-5300 Key Largo trip and most Desiray and Micah, happy wanderers. of all, FUN! 8 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 9
GARDEN CLUB OF THE UPPER KEYS MONTHLY MEETING APPLICATION FOR GIRLFRIEND CONTAINER GARDENING GENERAL INFORMATION Tuesday March 17 at 11:00 am Initial at Francis Tracy Garden Center 94040 Overseas Hwy. (MM 94 bayside) Weight ______Height ______Age ______Ethnicity Here Blonde Guest Speaker: Master Gardener Kathie Carr Breast Size Exotic e program will include demonstrations of three types of Massive Pretty Big Average Small N/A Looking container gardens—Window Box, Butter y Garden and Do you have any piercings? Do you have any tattoos? Quick & Easy Container, plus ve essential tools every YES NO YES NO gardener needs! If yes, where? If yes, where? Our meetings, workshops and special events provide education and information on the fun of gardening in the Keys. Come grow with us! All are welcome. First Name ______gardenclubupperkeys.org [email protected] WHAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE (Please list previous boyfriends, starting with the most recent) NEIGHBORS Name Annual Income Reason for Leaving Still Obsessed? ARE SAYING YES NO THE STUDY RESULTS ARE IN! A study has revealed that the kind of face a woman “Best decision ever was to stop in. YES NO nds attractive on a man can di er depending on We visited the store and had a YES NO where she is in her menstrual cycle. great education on the Hemp (305) 340-8344 plant and Cannabanoids! YES NO For example, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to 91272 Overseas Hwy. #11 Love the products, love the men with rugged and masculine features. Tavernier, FL # of men you say you’ve slept with ______Actual # of men you’ve slept with ______Tavernier423.CBDrx4u.com owners, and love the store.” # of women you’ve slept with ______However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape I have children Yes No I burst into tears over meaningless things Yes No over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while 10% OFF At Your CBD Store Tavernier. Not valid with other coupons, or specials. I have a weird scar or birthmark Yes No I still sleep with random male friends Yes No he is on re. With this Coupon I have/have had an STD Yes No I call my mom more than once a week Yes No Our products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or I want to get married in the next 5 years Yes No I am opposed to anal sex Yes No No further studies are expected on this subject. prevent any disease. Consult your physician before use. For use by adults 18+. Keep out of reach of children.
Voted Best Happy Hour in the Keys! 4-7 Daily WEDNESDAYS: 20% OFF LOCALS DAY
SOMETHING SPECIAL A La Carte EVERY DAY! MONDAYS Margarita Mondays Brunchon the waterfront “Best Brunch in Key Largo” TUESDAYS 11 am - 2 pm Tito's Tuesdays Every Sunday Complimentary Mimosa, WEDNESDAYS Glass of Champagne or Locals Appreciation Day Bloody Mary with Brunch Entrée Live Entertainment WEDNESDAY TO SATURDAY THURSDAY Thirsty Thursdays Taylor King Band Every Saturday Night FRIDAY Fireball Fridays Check out our Local’s Loyalty Program: SATURDAY Get your College Games AS SEEN ON Pilot’s Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives License SUNDAY ON FOOD NETWORK!! today! 11am-2pm Brunch FInd out how you can be a member by contacting 13 Seagate Blvd., Key Largo, MM 99.6 • (305) 451-3142 the email below: www.PilotHouseMarina.com • facebook.com/PilotHouseKeyLargo [email protected] 10 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 11 Sounds of the Keys Keys Residents need to take action! It doesn‛t cost a cent – takes mere seconds.
You‛ve may have heard What residents need to already, but Sharon Sydnor, realize is it’s going to go up wife of Commercial Use every year after that and Authorization holder Capt. they’re allowing a terrible Larry Sydnor of Key precedent to be set, allow- Largo/Islamorada, has been ing the government to investigating the Everglades control our water access to National Park (ENP) coastal- the Bay. access water entrance fee Photo by Rob LeBrun Photo by Rob LeBrun for 3 years. Since the The "Frank and Dean and then some" tribute show featured The Carousers are loving their new fog machine Sharon states she has an Sean Hannan - The Guitar Santa summer of 2017 she has been Rat Pack songs and other favorites at the Lorelei. Claus at the American Legion. and laser lights! active, comprehensive whistle- exposing the illegalities she‛s blower complaint in Washing- discovered to all known park What residents need to ton, D.C. in front of the officials, up to and including realize is it‛s going to go up House Committee on Natural the Secretary of the Inte- every year after that and Resources, the Subcommit- rior, in order to get it they‛re allowing a terrible tee that has jurisdiction over stopped. precedent to be set allowing the National Park Service, Thankfully the Village of the government to control demanding to get the fee Islamorada, the Key Largo and our water access to the Bay. removed and it‛s reaching a Islamorada Chambers of Com- This unlawful fee is fever pitch. merce, and local fishing guides extremely damaging to our Sharon has exposed associations have stepped up tourist industry, which drives first-hand knowledge of the and submitted impactful our entire economy and job National Park Service‛s Key Largo Wood Rats at Key Largo Moose Lodge. Igor and the Red Elvises return to the Lorelei Grammy award winning band "Write Sounds" rocked the letters or resolutions, joining creation, as all of our visitors wrongdoing with their water for a special St. Patrick's Day performance. Lorelei in February. See them again on May 30th. in in opposition to the fee. who want to recreate on entrance fee at ENP, citing Florida Bay are feeling actual code, exposing that swindled by the Park and they have not obeyed laws they‛re not going to be Salvation Army Family Store PIRATES COVE WATERSPORTS nor followed legislative MM 99 Bayside SHOP • DONATE coming back. intent. Key Largo Key Largo Bay Marriott Beach Resort, 103800 Overseas Hwy. Helping to get it stopped larly helpful if you have the The StopParkWaterFee www.pcwatersports.com is really easy. time. grassroots effort is thrilled Everyone needs to go The cause seems to be to have all of the local fishing 305-453-9881 online and enter this URL into coming to a head, so a flood guides who are Commercial any browser to ePetition: of ePetitions NOW could Use Authorization holders in stopparkwaterfee.org make the difference in the park behind this, but they Just fill in your name & defeating this unjust burden stress that our residents zip code to be counted, and if on all of us and the American need to pay closer attention you have any questions, all public. and get involved as they seem information can be found Please help and ePetition complacent with their indi- there. A comment added NOW!!! Visit the store, or call 305-872-5744 for prompt and courteous pickup vidual annual fee at $55. before submission is particu- stopparkwaterfee.org
American Legion Post 333 - Key Largo VFW Members Welcome! Jetski & Boat Eco Tours OPEN 11:00 AM to 9:30 PM EVERY DAY Sunset Cruises Stand Up Paddleboards DAILY FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS Boat Rentals Most popular Jam in Town! Sunday - Live Music 2-6 pm FRIDAY NIGHT FISH FRY 5-9 pm JAM NIGHT Ocean Bay Cafe MAHI ALL-U-CAN-EAT • Fried $12.99 • Blackened/Grilled $13.99 Keys Adventures Thursdays 6 to 10 pm Bar Menu Jimmy Johnson’s Big Chill, 104000 Overseas Highway SATURDAY - PRIME RIB DINNER with The Taylor King Band and Friends Daily www.keysadventureswatersports.com Fridays HAPPY HOUR: 4-6 pm EVERY DAY 7:00 pm Find Us on Facebook: Jam night at the American Legion 333 Specials $ 1 Drafts 305-731-9472 2 Seagate Blvd.• MM 99.6 • Key Largo • 305-451-0307 • www.legionpost333.org LOCALS’ FAVORITE 305-453-3153 45 Garden Cove Drive MM 106 12 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 MarchMap 2020 ad• The sizeCoconut Telegraph • 13
New York Style Pizzeria Tiki Bar, Game Nights, Dinners & Fun!
Members Sundays 7pm OPENOPEN NNOOW!W! and Guests “Show Me the Moosebucks” PIZZA • ITALIAN SPECIALTIES • GREAT FOOD Welcome Mondays 7pm Check our Facebook page There’s always something going on at the Tavernier Elks Club! “So Good It’ll Make Your Tongue Slap Your Brain” Bingo PIZZERIA for more events. STYLE ORK W Y Tuesdays 7pm NE QUEEN OF HEARTS Wednesdays 5:30pm S Our second Florida Keys location Join Us! Y “Show Me the Moosebucks” E K A LINE DANCE Mondays 5 pm • BINGO Sundays, 5-7 pm M ID MM 88.8 Bayside, Islamorada Checkout our M R Wednesdays 7pm 8 O 8 FL Fridays 6 pm • Fridays 7:30 pm .8 • A, gorgeous new Live Music & Queen of Hearts FISH FRY KARAOKE: ISLAMORAD 305-852-2200 DELIVERY COMING SOON! Tiki Bar! Plus! Pool Tournament ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARTY open Sat. & Sun. 2 pm until... Tuesday March 17 Fridays 7pm 6-8 pm We are now a Left, Right, Center non smoking facility Sunday Breakfast Buffet Corned Beef & Cabbage Join Us March 1st $13 Patio service 10 am until it’s gone! COMING SOON: Blues Brothers & Tina Turner Review Saturday, April 11th Open 3-10pm Daily • 305-852-1872 MM 92.6 Bayside • Tavernier www.floridakeyselks1872.com Book your next event! Capacity 250 • Public Invited to Rent • Event Planning Available Hall Rental, Decorating & Catering Packages - call Sherill 315-244-1314 mile marker 98.8 in the median
COLORFUL
There’s always something going on at the Tavernier Elks Club!
QUEEN OF HEARTS Wednesdays 5:30pm LINE DANCE Mondays 5 pm • BINGO Sundays, 5-7 pm FISH FRY Fridays 6 pm • KARAOKE: Fridays 7:30 pm ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARTY Tuesday March 17 6-8 pm Sunday Breakfast Buffet Corned Beef New York Style Pizzeria & Cabbage Join Us March 1st $13 Patio service 10 am until it’s gone! COMING SOON: OPENOPEN NNOOW!W! Blues Brothers & Tina Turner Review WE LIKE COLORFUL! PIZZA • ITALIAN SPECIALTIES • GREAT FOOD Saturday, April 11th “So Good It’ll Make Your Tongue Slap Your Brain” Open 3-10pm Daily • 305-852-1872 PIZZERIA The Coconut Telegraph now has more color pages STYLE MM 92.6 Bayside • Tavernier ORK W Y than ever before. Enjoy it, and if you’re an advertiser, NE www.floridakeyselks1872.com S Our second Florida Keys location Y (or would like to be), call us to find out what your ad E K A Book your next event! M ID MM 88.8 Bayside, Islamorada would cost in color. It’s surprisingly affordable! M R 8 O Capacity 250 • Public Invited to Rent • Event Planning Available 8 FL .8 • A, 305-304-2837 ISLAMORAD 305-852-2200 DELIVERY COMING SOON! Hall Rental, Decorating & Catering Packages - call Sherill 315-244-1314 14 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 15
Conch Characters Celebrating 30 Years with Billy Davidson by Rob LeBrun
Before YouTube and the last 10 years, “Webb & Internet, before cell phones, Davidson” have carried the and even before compact torch, entertaining locals and disks (those are the little visitors to the Keys with shiny disk things that have their unique duo. music on them), Billy David- Billy Davidson will be son has been entertaining celebrating his 30 years in crowds with his laid-back, the Keys with a special Jam beachy vibes and mesmeriz- Night on Friday March 20th ing guitar riffs. Billy grew up from 5:30pm – 9:30pm, in the Syracuse, NY area and hosted by The Lorelei. Many Clinching first place in Cheeca Lodge & Spa’s Congratulations to the Lorelei fishing team In late January, the Islamorada Fishing Club welcomed like many northern entertain- of Billy‛s friends, old and Presidential Sailfish Tournament,Team Three Natives (Capt Roy, Mate Jimmy, Donna, Katherine, 48 anglers to their Captain’s Cup Sailfish Tournament. also won Overall Champion, releasing a total of six Dyllan and Greg) for winning the 39th Captain Greg Eklund aboard charter boat Cloud Nine ers, visited the Keys on new, will be joining him sailfish. Team members: Matt Turner of Tallahassee, Tim Annual Islamorada Bartenders Sailfish with Mate Eric Ehlers got first place with two fish vacation, moved here the onstage to help celebrate McGavern of Tampa, and Moriah Davis of Tuscaloosa, Tournament. Greg took home the top prize caught and released early in the tournament by next season and became a surviving 30 years of Keys AL. Outstanding Captain and Mate Awards went to of #1 angler as well. Great job anglers!! anglers Josh Jackson from Temple, TX along with Cory Keys legend. His buddy Paul Kaos! This will be a stellar Richard Black and Ross Render of Tavernier. Nelson and Jake Turek from Islamorada. Case was already working at night of music featuring The Lorelei, and when Billy Billy Davidson (L) with Steve Webb. many Keys legends coming to arrived, the infamous “Case & support Billy and reminisce Davidson” duo was born. The John Hall and Clarence Clem- introduce Michael Trixx and of yesteryear. More info: next 20 years went by like a ens. They donated their time his “Rockin Magic Show” to billydavidson.com flash. They survived Y2K, for local causes along with the guests at the Lorelei 20 hurricanes, food poisoning, other Keys performers like years ago. When Paul Case Celebrate with Billy and along the way, even Jack Snipes, Jimmy Hawkins decided to move back home, Friday March 20th managed to play with musical and Dave Feder. Case & Billy‛s good buddy Steve at the Lorelei legends like Marshall Tucker, Davidson were the first to Webb took his place. For the 5:30-9:30 pm
Photo by Rob LeBrun
Finished original by Don Ray, Pasta & Wyland Spank the Band will be performing a special Mark Kohl & JoAnn Wagner at Islamorada Chamber’s all for the love of raising money for the "dueling female power singers" at their next First State Bank after hours get together.
College of the Florida Keys! Lorelei show on April 4th. Photography Peter Jonathon Open 7 Days A Week Breakfast 7 am - 10:45 am Lunch from 11 am Dinner from 4 pm Live Music Every Night
Fresh Seafood Daily Happy Hour 4-6 pm Local Specialties We’ll Cook Your Catch
Fishing Guides $3 Well Drinks Available $1 off Bottle Beers Amazing $1 off House Wines Sunsets $1.25 Domestic Drafts Photo by Rob LeBrun Photo by Rob LeBrun $2.25 Specialty Drafts Mark Healey from ‘Badfinger’ stopped by the Lorelei DJ at the Pilot House invites you to Billy Davidson and a young fan at the Lorelei. Pet Friendly on Presidents Day for an intimate solo show. Fireball Friday - $4 shots. FREE WIFI PROPERTY WIDE • LOCALS’ FAVORITE • LIVE MUSIC NIGHTLY! Just another Lorelei sunset! Photo by Rob LeBrun 16 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 17
IRISH GHOST STORY the curve, a hand appeared out of The Mangrove Galley BROCCOLI – CHEESE SOUP This story happened a while ago in nowhere through the window, and Dublin, and even though it sounds turned the wheel. John, paralysed by Sandi Mieszczenski 3 stalks of broccoli coarsely chopped; florets only like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s with terror, watched as the hand 4 oz. sharp Cheddar cheese cut into small cubes said to be true. came through the window, but never touched or harmed him. 2 10-1/2 oz. cans of chicken broth 1 small carrot medium chopped John Bradford, a Dublin Univer- 1 large onion medium chopped 1 tsp garlic powder sity student, was on the side of the Shortly thereafter, John saw the 4 Tbls of butter divided in 2 1 cup heavy whipping cream road hitch-hiking on a very dark lights of a pub appear down the 3 Tbls flour Fresh ground pepper to taste night and in the midst of a big road, so, gathering strength, he storm. jumped out of the car and ran to it... Wet and out of breath, he In a large sauce pan, melt one half of the butter and sauté the chopped The night was rolling on and no rushed inside and started tell- onion until the edges just start to brown. Remove from heat and scrape car went by. The storm was so ing everybody about the amazing the onions into a small bowl. Return the pan to a medium heat stovetop strong he could hardly see a few experience he had just had. feet ahead of him. and melt the second pad of butter. Add the flour to the butter and A silence enveloped the pub when whisk until a roux is formed. Whisk for two to three minutes until the Suddenly, he saw a car slowly everybody realized he was crying, flour taste has cooked out. Add the onions back into the pan. Be sure to coming towards him and and wasn’t drunk. scrape all of the butter out of the bowl and mix well with the roux. Add stopped. John, desperate for shel- the two cans of broth and the broccoli to the pan. ter and without thinking about Suddenly, the door opened, and it, got into the car and closed the two other people walked in from Stir well and bring to a simmer. Cover and cook until the broccoli is just door ... only to realize there was the dark and stormy night. They, tender; 10 to 15 minutes. Add the garlic and cheese cubes, stir well and nobody behind the wheel and the like John, were also soaked and It is that time of year, that on occasion, the temperature turn off the heat. Leave the covered pan on the burner stirring occa- engine wasn’t running. out of breath. Looking around, sionally until just before you are ready to serve. Add the cup of whip- and seeing John Bradford sobbing gets down enough to call it soup weather. I know that The car started moving slowly. broccoli is one of those vegetables that people either at the bar, one said to the other... ping cream, stir, and gently bring back to just short of a boil. Serve with John looked at the road ahead and love or hate, but this soup is tasty, quick and easy. some croutons or cracker crumbles. Serves four. Enjoy! saw a curve approaching. Scared, ‘Look Paddy .... there’s that idiot Sandi’s recipes are featured here monthly. For previous issues go to theconchtelegraph.com he started to pray, begging for his that got in the car while we were life. Then, just before the car hit pushing it!’
Meet a few of the animals who are currently available for adoption COCONUT at the Key Largo Animal Shelter. If you are interested in taking one Adopt a Key Largo Animal Shelter Pet of these adorable furry friends home, stop by or call. The Shelter is TELEGRAPH CLASSIFIED ADS located at mile marker 106 Oceanside; phone 305-451-0088. BUYING SERVICES CLUBS PERSONAL LOST/FOUND WE BUY COINS House Cleaning THE KEY PLAYERS LOST No collection too large call Danielle Community Theater Group Set of house keys, including 305-393-2728 needs volunteers to work automatic car door opener, or too small. We pay behind the scenes & silver safe key, and front & cash on the spot and VESSEL SAFETY audition for roles! back door house keys. thekeyplayers.org If found please return to we offer private 128 Ocean Way, Big Pine e USCG Auxiliary consultation in our (I‛m usually home by 6 pm) conducts vessel safety Florida Keys Orchid, Fern location or yours. and Bromeliad Society Zimba Jill Morticia Rosa Coconut checks at Blackwater meets the 3rd urs. of every PERSONAL Call Bill 305.942.0911. Sound Marina, month at Key Largo Library Still Available, Still Single, MM 103.8 Bayside, every Community Room at 7pm. MAN and Ready to Mingle! third Saturday of the Open to the public. with Corona Virus seeks Buyers agent is 305-451-2396. Text 305-555-1970 month.Public welcome. WOMAN with Lyme Disease buying 305-998-8400 GET CLASSIFIED SHOE REPAIR Vintage Costume $10 per col. inch UPPER KEYS per month! FOR SALE Jewelry MUSICIANS I Will Heel You Call & leave msg. MUST BE PAID IN ADVANCE Amateur & seasoned Classi ed Display Space $15/in. I Will Dye for You 305-304-2837 musicians wanted! Drop off ad and payment at I Will Save Your Sole! e Keys Community The UPS STORE Concert Band 101425 Overseas Highway Visit the shop at Classified ads will not be Chewy Molly Al Mila Cheetos begins rehearsals in the fall. Next to Publix at Tradewinds MM 110 and meet your accepted without payment. More info call 305-451-4530. STARSHIP ENTERPRISE Questions? 305•304•2837 Shoe-Maker! Key Chain $50 OBO 18 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 19
Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner Ta l i s m a n s by Dawn Wiggins, Ed.S. Ok, you know the story. Having a talisman imbued with your intention is yet Baby goes on a boring disappoint you. And, it was another tool you can use to assist you in your journey. summer holiday with her hard not to compare myself family but ends up having an to those I find inspiring and For millennia, mankind has attracting what you want in epic life-changing experi- talented. found peace and solace in life. You may use your ence. But I wasn't willing to objects of significance. talisman to help you attain She finds her passion, play small. I knew it was time When cleansed and conse- health, security, or good she experiences love, and to grow. So I took a risk. crated through ritual, such luck. Or you may simply she stands up to her family. And I grew for you and me. objects--be they gems, want to carry an object She risks everything she I know change ruffles amulets, herbs, or written with you that will remind used to be to become who feathers and creates words--become talismans. A you of your search for she wanted to be. talisman is any item imbued soulful tranquility. In order discomfort with a specific power by its to create a talisman, you It's good stuff, right?! But by the end of your But let's get honest, it epic summer in life, if you The Conch Republic bearer to serve a specific must first determine its intention. Ancient Egyptians physical properties. This was hard. Baby doubted embrace your magnificence, COCONUT TELEGRAPH used massive stone tablets can be as innocuous as a herself. Her family treated you will steal the show and as healing talismans while strip of paper bearing the her like a child. She change lives...Just like Baby. the Greeks and Romans used word "Love" and carried in a struggled while learning to So I want you to tap into lead talismans to communi- wooden box or cloth sack. dance. She got embarrassed, your magnificence. Stop cate with the spirit realm. felt small, and shut down comparing yourself to the You may prefer a more more than once. She also other dancers. And remem- The Conch Republic Traditionally, a talisman acts visible talisman, such as a faced BIG social issues and ber... COCONUT TELEGRAPH to anchor energy in the physi- metal amulet or a gemstone had to do some deep soul cal plane. That energy may be worn as jewelry. Before "The steps aren't enough; searching. protective in nature or may be your object becomes a it's a feeling." RATES The truth is, we are all intended to draw abundance, talisman, however, it must -Patrick Swayze like Baby. Now before you go KEY LARGO MAP PAGE wealth, or a wide variety of be charged. This can be Dirty Dancing arguing with me, consider blessings to its user. done by cleansing the Vertical: object--with water or with this... 2.44” wide x 4.5“ tall Often, talismans are small incense--and holding a If you saw your talents $125 per month enough to be easily worn or ritual of your own making. as inspiring as hers and if carried, and they may be you felt desired by a hottie Horizontal: marked with words or sym- Or, you can leave the like Patrick Swayze, would 4.5” wide x 2.75” tall bols that the talisman's object in moonlight or you see how similar her story owner deems meaningful. sunlight or bury it in the is to yours? $150 per month earth for a time. To pre- It's easy to quickly Creating and owning a talis- serve its effectiveness, destroy your own triumph by Bottom Banner: man can reassure you and talismans should be recon- comparing yourself to some- The Conch Republic 9.75” wide x 2.75” tall also serve to aide you in secrated regularly. one else. I know this all too COCONUT TELEGRAPH $225 per month well. Reprinted from DailyOM - Inspirational thoughts for a happy, You see, I went through a healthy and fulfilling day. Register for free at www.dailyom.com considerable growth phase last year, and boy was it painful. And a big part of my growth was inspired by each of you. In my desire to serve you better and offer more, I had to learn, practice, fail, cry (wail if I'm honest), and soul search. It impacted my family, friends, and, ulti- Dawn Wiggins, Ed.S. mately, you. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Boca Raton • Key Largo • Online Many days, I wasn't as energetic, consistent, or 561- 221-5575 rational as I would've liked. 99353 Overseas Hwy #16 And I was afraid. Afraid I Key Largo, Florida 33037 would fail. Afraid I would www.dawnwigginstherapy.com 20 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 21
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. An American walks into an Irish pub. He says to the patrons, ”I’ll bet $500 Recently I was asked by a funeral that none of you can drink 10 pints of director to play at a graveside ser- Coco‘Nut’ Funnies Guinness in 10 minutes.” People raise vice for a homeless man. He had their heads but ignore the absurd bet and go back to drinking and merry no family or friends, so the service making, except an Irishman who was to be at a pauper’s cemetery leaves the bar. in the back country. As I was not Some time passes and the Irishman familiar with the backwoods, I got comes back in the pub and ap- lost and, being a typical man, I proaches the American. “Is yer bet still on the table?” didn’t stop for directions. The American replies, “Sure it is! I finally arrived an hour late and Bartender get this man his drinks.” The bartender lines up 10 pints of Guinness saw the funeral guy had evidently on the bar. gone and the hearse was nowhere The Irishman starts drinking and drinks in sight. There were only the dig- up all the Guinness in less than 10 min- gers and crew left and they were utes. Astonished the American hands eating lunch. over the money and asks, “Well, may I ask where you went earlier?” ABOUT THE CARTOONIST, RODNEY NELSON: After coming to I felt badly and apologized to the The Irishman replies with a smirk, “I the Keys many times, he moved here in 1969 at age 11. He tried dif- Mrs. Donovan was walking down went to the pub next door to see if I ferent jobs before becoming a full-time artist in his late twenties. He men for being late. I went to the could do it.” side of the grave and looked down O’Connell Street in Dublin enjoys the versatility it requires to survive as an artist in such a small and the vault lid was already in when she met up with Father community, and does airbrushing to glass etching; cartoons to fine art. place. I didn’t know what else to Flaherty. do, so I started to play. The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. The workers put down their Donovan and didn’t I marry ye A little old lady was walking down lunches and began to gather and yer hoosband two years the street dragging two large plastic around. I played out my heart and ago?’ garbage bags behind her. One of soul for this man with no fam- the bags was ripped and every once ily and friends. I played like I’ve She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, in awhile a $20 bill fell out onto the never played before for this home- Father.’ sidewalk. less man. The Father asked, ‘And be Noticing this, a policeman stopped there any wee little ones yet?’ her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 Shortly after a British Airways flight had And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’ bills falling out of that bag.” reached its cruising altitude, the cap- the workers began to weep. They tain announced, “Ladies and gentle- The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little men, this is your captain. Welcome wept, I wept, we all wept together. to Flight 293, non-stop from London going to Rome next week and old lady. “I’d better go back and see When I finished I packed up my if I can find them. Thanks for telling Heathrow to New York. The weather bagpipes and started for my car. I’ll light a fertility candle for ahead is good, so we should have an me, Officer.” uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, Though my head hung low, my ye and yer hoosband.’ “Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. and—OH MY GOD!” heart was full. She replied, ‘Oh, thank ye, Fa- “ Where did you get all that money? Silence followed... ther!’ They then parted ways.. You didn’t steal it, did you?” Some moments later, the captain As I opened the door to my car, Some years later they met came back on the intercom, “Ladies I heard one of the workers say, “I “Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You and gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared again. The Father asked, ‘Well you. While I was talking to you, a flight never seen nothin’ like that before see, my back yard is right next to a Am I getting older or now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye has the supermarket attendant accidentally spilled coffee and I’ve been putting in septic Golf course. A lot of Golfers come in my lap. You should see the front of these days?’ begun playing great tanks for twenty years.” and pee through a knot hole in my my pants!” She replied, ‘Oh, very well, fence, right into my flower garden. music? From the back of the plane, an Irish Father!’ It used to really tick me off Kills the passenger yelled, “For the luvva Jay- sus, you should see the back of mine!” The Father asked, ‘And tell me , flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’ So, Have ye any wee ones yet?’ now, I stand behind the fence by She replied, ‘Oh yes, Father! the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy Two sets of twins and six sin- sticks his thing through my fence, I gles, ten in all!’ surprise him, grab hold of it and say, The Father said, ‘That’s won- ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it derful! And how is yer loving comes!’ hoosband doing?’ “Well, that seems only fair,” said the She replied, ‘He’s gone to cop, laughing .”OK. Good luck! Oh, Rome to blow out yer fookin’ by the way, what’s in the other bag?” candle!’ “Not everybody pays.” 22 • The Coconut Telegraph • March 2020 March 2020 • The Coconut Telegraph • 23
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The Conch Republic Barbara Eads GRI, CRS.TRC, CIPS, CLHMS, SFR, REOS COCONUT TELEGRAPH Licensed Real Estate Broker Independently Owned Local Newspaper Denise Malefyt Barbara Eads Realty, Inc. PUBLISHER 91770 Overseas Highway 305.304.2837 Tavernier, FL 33070 6 Rose Avenue 220 W. 2nd Court 27 Avenue A 40 Transylvania Ave www.TheConchTelegraph.com Off: (305) 853-5982 Spacious home on large corner lot! Open oor plan Handyman Special! Good location in Key Largo Village Welcome to your Tropical Haven! Nice home with CONCRETE BUNKER! Delightful family home located [email protected] Cell: (305) 586-7326 with separate laundry room. Huge bonus - a concrete, - two home owners' parks, with beach, pavilion and lovely kitchen and newer appliances. Enjoy the good in the X-Zone. Nearly 1/4 acre, fully fenced and 101425 Overseas Hwy., PMB #628 Fax: (305) 853-5987 Key Largo, Florida Keys 33037 full-car garage. Located in a family neighborhood two boat ramps. Great potential - tear down and build life in the screened Florida room with spacious newer situated on two low maintenance open lots! County Email: [email protected] Website: www.keysforsale.com close to schools, shopping, restaurants and easy new. Home has a concrete dock and boat ramp! Close hot-tub. Fully Fenced. Neighborhood park with says lot can be separated and build-able. Move-in commute to Miami. $249,000 to shopping, restaurants, recreation, boating, shing beach, 2 boat ramps, pavilion and picnic area. condition. New roof in 2019. $457,000 and swimming! $299,000 Possible seller nancing!!! $224,000 Home and lot can be purchased separately. Lot is 24-HR RAY Quality Web design at affordable rates. SERVICE Structural/Civil • Structural Evaluations listed at $135,000 and home listed at $389,000. Residential/Commercial Design Purchase as a package for the best deal!!! Upper Keys Web Design WE CLOSE PERMITS Web Design Commercial & Residential • State Certified Contractor Our goal is to exceed your expectations and to make your experience with us, Website Michael F. Padula P. E. CFC057546 / Licensed & Insured as your Realtors, efficient, effective and rewarding. Renovations Omar Perez CERTIFIED MASTER PLUMBER SPECIALIST Seacoast Engineering & Design [email protected] [email protected] E-Commerce Key Largo, Florida • 305.509.7695 305.453.4281 Office: (305) 853-1848 97671 Overseas Hwy Maintenance www.upperkeys.net Cell: (305) 772-4580 Key Largo, FL 33037 [email protected] • Seacoast Engineering and Design on Facebook
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