THE MAGAZINE FOR COMMUNICATORS & LEADERS | JUNE 2017

Speech opening techniques from recent contest winners.

A Guide to Civil Social Communication

Minding Your Manners in a Digital World VIEWPOINT TOASTMASTER®

Publisher 2016–2017 OFFICERS Daniel Rex International President Managing Editor Mike Storkey, DTM Suzanne Frey International President-Elect Senior Editor Balraj Arunasalam, DTM Paul Sterman First Vice President Associate Editor Lark Doley, DTM Mary Nesfield Second Vice President Digital Content Editor Deepak Menon, DTM Shannon Dewey Immediate Past President Editorial Assistant Jim Kokocki, DTM Mariam Jehangir The Meaning of Chief Executive Officer Graphic Design Daniel Rex Susan Campbell Secretary-Treasurer Cover Design Jennifer Quinn Recognition Bianca Montoya

ne of the cornerstones of our organiza- 2016–2017 BOARD OF DIRECTORS tion is recognition. We all thrive on it. Margaret Page, DTM Matt Kinsey, DTM O Region 1 Region 8 With the end of the Toastmasters year at hand, Jim Kohli, DTM Steve Chen, DTM and the last-minute rush to finish and submit Region 2 Region 9 David McCallister, DTM Michael Osur, DTM our educational achievements before the July deadline, it is time to consider the Region 3 Region 10 ninth commitment in the Toastmaster’s Promise: “To adhere to the guidelines Monique Levesque- Teresa Dukes, DTM and rules for all Toastmasters education and recognition programs.” There are no Pharoah, DTM Region 11 Region 4 David Fisher, DTM shortcuts to earning genuine recognition. Recognition that has not been earned in Magnus Jansson, DTM Region 12 the prescribed manner is not meaningful recognition. To believe there is a way to Region 5 Nagaraja Rao, DTM Vera Johnson, DTM Region 13 “beat the system” both demeans the achievement you are claiming and the genuine Region 6 Elisa W. Tay, DTM achievements of others who followed the rules. Russell L. Drake, DTM Region 14 Region 7 Occasionally, the temptation to reach a personal goal clouds one’s ability to realize that the value is in completing the task fully and properly; not in receiving TOASTMASTERS INTERNATIONAL® P.O. Box 9052, Mission Viejo, CA 92690 U.S.A. the recognition. We must remember our organization’s core values of integrity, +1 949-858-8255 • Fax: +1 949-858-1207 respect, service and excellence, and apply these values when seeking education or Voicemail: +1 949-835-1300 www.toastmasters.org recognition awards. CONTACTING WORLD HEADQUARTERS For information on joining or building a club, visit: www.toastmasters.org There are no shortcuts to earning genuine recognition. Article submission: [email protected] Letters to the Editor: [email protected] To change address, log in to: www.toastmasters.org Clubs, too, are bound by the ninth promise. Take, for example, the club that has fulfilled all its goals under the Distinguished Club Program in the current Toastmasters International Mission: program year and so decides to withhold additional member achievements during We empower individuals to become more the year and instead wait to apply the credit toward the next year. I have heard effective communicators and leaders. an over-enthusiastic vice president education say, “It gives us a flying start in the new year.” But this does not truly represent what the club accomplishes in the coming year. Any recognition that depends on the member achievements of the WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE previous year is not genuinely earned—and it also denies such members the timely­ www.toastmasters.org ­recognition they deserve. The Toastmaster magazine (ISSN 00408263) is published monthly by Toastmasters International, Inc., 23182 Arroyo Vista, Rancho Santa The same holds true for districts, as the desire to become Distinguished can Margarita, CA 92688, U.S.A. Periodicals postage paid at Mission Viejo, occasionally override adherence to the promise. Unfortunately, at times one hears CA and additional mailing office. POSTMASTER: Send address change to the Toastmaster magazine, P.O. Box 9052, Mission Viejo, CA 92690, U.S.A. of “paper clubs and paper members” submitted at the eleventh hour to achieve Published to promote the ideas and goals of Toastmasters International,­­ a recognition to which the district is not entitled. In such instances, little thought is nonprofit educational organization of clubs throughout the world ­dedicated to teaching skills in public speaking and leadership. Members’ given to the district leaders who follow—the ones who are left to pick up the pieces. subscriptions are included in the $45 semi-annual dues. The official publication of Toastmasters International carries authorized I urge you all to do the work that truly entitles you to the recognition you are notices and articles regarding the activities and interests of the organiza- seeking. Such accomplishments are memorable and something to feel proud of. tion, but responsibility is not assumed for the opinions of the authors of other articles.­ The Toastmaster magazine does not endorse or guarantee Does an award for something you have not done properly mean anything? Only the products­ it advertises. you can answer that question. Please “Remember Your Fellow Member” when Copyright 2017 Toastmasters International, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction­ in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. ­submitting your achievements for recognition. Not responsible for unsolicited material. Toastmasters International, the Toastmaster logo and the Toastmaster Inter­national Emblem are trademarks of Toastmasters International ­registered in the United States, Canada and many other countries. MIKE STORKEY, DTM Marca registrada en Mexico. International President Printed in U.S.A.

2 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE MEMBERS’ FORUM

Clubs around the world find plenty of reasons to celebrate. See how these members had fun in different settings.

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Carrington club members in Carrington, North Dakota, bundle up for a photo op in the snow while celebrating the club’s 25th anniversary.

Members, founders, dignitaries and guests of the Eclectic Dialectics Toastmasters in Cerritos, California, celebrate the club’s 35th anniversary.

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Hannover Speakers club celebrates its 15th anniversary on the well-known Maschsee lake in Hanover, Germany.

Send your fun club photos to [email protected]. Include a description and your club name, number and location. Photos must be in .jpeg format with a resolution of at least 300 dpi (dots per inch) or 1 MB (megabyte). Out-of-focus images cannot be accepted. It is not necessary to include the Toastmaster magazine or other branded materials in your photos, but if Toastmasters materials are displayed, they must reflect the current brand.

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 3 CONTENTS

Features 16 16 PRESENTATION SKILLS How to Hook Your Audience in 30 Seconds Learn to create catchy speech openings from top contest winners. By Lisa B. Marshall, CTM

22 Articles 12 EDUCATION12 PROGRAM PATHWAYS OFF TO A STRONG START District 57 members praise the new learning experience and its “digital transformation.” By Paul Sterman

COMMUNICATION14 14 22 SOCIAL NETWORK COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE New rules for minding your A Toastmasters manners in a digital world. Guide to Civil Social By Scott Steinberg Communication How to avoid shattering personal relationships when you disagree. By Dave Zielinski By xxx 4 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE JUNE 2017 VOL. 83, NO. 6

Read it anytime, anywhere. View the Toastmaster magazine online for instant access to timely educational content. See videos, photos and links you won’t find in the print edition!

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Articles Columns 20 20 2 VIEWPOINT PERSONAL GROWTH The Meaning of Recognition CONTEST LIFE LESSONS: YOU DON’T HAVE TO WIN TO WIN By Mike Storkey, DTM, International President A trophy is only one of the many rewards MY TURN for speech contestants. 11 Unity Amid Diversity By Jennifer L. Blanck, DTM, and László (Laci) Szücs, ACB By Mitch Mirkin, CTM 29 TOASTMASTERS TOOLBOX The Leadership Track in Toastmasters NEWS26 FROM TI By Bill Brown, DTM OFFICIAL NOTICE OF VOTE: 11 FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT YOUR 2017-2018 OFFICER AND 30 DIRECTOR CANDIDATES To the Class of 2017 By John Cadley 27 NEWS FROM TI Departments CAST YOUR VOTE FOR PROPOSALS A­–G 3 MEMBERS’ FORUM Make your voice heard. 6 QUICK TAKES 10 TRAVELING TOASTMASTER

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 5 QUICK TAKES

4 MEMBER MOMENT

Young Technology Professional Rises to the Top

BY MARIAM JEHANGIR

When Maryna Hradovich, CC, CL, joined the digital market- ing firm SEMrush in 2011, she was part of a three-person team responsible for setting up the North American division of the company—which at the time was an early-stage startup from Europe—in the United States. Today Hradovich is the president of SEMrush, and has Maryna Hradovich accepts the 2016 Philadelphia Circle of Excellence helped facilitate its massive growth over the past few years, both Award for medium-sized companies in the technology sector. in revenue and its employee roster. The company is now recog- nized as a market leader, has more than 400 employees in four How has Toastmasters benefited you? countries and boasts big-name clients including eBay, Disney I immigrated to the United States from the small nation of Belarus and Overstock.com. in Eastern Europe on my own in my early 20s, after studying in- Hradovich is a passionate technology and business profes­ ternational business at Belarus State Economic University. I didn’t sional who continues to make a name for herself and the com- speak much English and I was self-conscious about it. I picked up pany. She recently won two awards—based on industry impact, the language fast, but that was not enough. As I grew in my career market leadership and company growth—from the American in the highly visible field of digital marketing, I knew that it was business magazine SmartCEO. And she has achieved all this critical for me to build my public speaking skills. I had great ideas before reaching the age of 30. The Northeast Philly Toastmasters and knew what I wanted to say—Toastmasters helped me with the member shares her experience below. “how.” Thanks to Toastmasters, I am increasingly more comfort- able and confident while speaking in public forums. I have also Tell us more about the SmartCEO awards. noticed that I communicate much better in one-on-one settings. I won the 2016 Philadelphia Circle of Excellence Award and the 2017 Philadelphia Future 50 Award, which honor the region’s Elaborate on your personal mantra,“No job accomplished business leaders and the fastest-growing organiza- is too big or too small.” tions. Winning both awards was more than I expected. It was a Anyone who has worked in an entrepreneurial culture knows that great experience not just in terms of winning, but also in terms the learning curve is steep and work demand is high. Often, there of enjoying the journey. When you are in the thick of things, is no one to whom you can delegate tasks. What that means is you sometimes don’t get the opportunity to really take in all the you figure out and do whatever needs to be done without com- ­milestones you are reaching. plaining—whether that is taking on a new, unexplored market or driving to the notary public to get a stamp on a document. I What kind of work do you do as president truly believe that my success, past or future, is directly tied to how of your company? closely I follow this mantra. At SEMrush, the scope of my work includes everything from general operations management to fiscal management to strategic Do you have any advice for members? business development. Our niche within the tech industry is Trust the Toastmasters process because it works. Those simple, digital marketing—our solutions help our users better market small speeches are very powerful exercises, and they will cumu- themselves online. This is a highly competitive and complex space latively help you with expression, communication and confidence and we have stayed ahead of the curve. What I like most about no matter what kind of work you do. Even if you may never this industry is that it continually evolves. There is never a dull need to give a speech to a room full of people, the Toastmasters moment, and that reflects within our company culture. We are ­experience will help you make strides in your field. an increasingly flat organization [which means there is little or no middle management between staff and executives] where an en- Mariam Jehangir is the editorial assistant for the Toastmaster trepreneurial spirit and innovative mindset are job requirements. magazine.

6 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE 4 SNAPSHOT

REACHING NEW HEIGHTS Four Toastmasters from different clubs in Cebu conquered Mount Pulag, the third-highest mountain in the Philippines, at 2,922 meters elevation. The group was formed after Jorjames R. Sajulla, ACG, ALB, (Sinulog Toastmasters club) and Daniel Perez, CC, CL, (Taipan Club) successfully climbed Mount Kinabalu, in Sabah, Malaysia, at 4,095.2 meters elevation in 2015. This was the group’s second attempt to climb Mount Pulag, and after reaching the summit they were finally able to witness the sea of clouds and beautiful sunrise. From left to right, Sajulla, Perez, Jinky Suarez (PICPA-Cebu Toastmasters club) and Dave Visaya CC, CL, (Cebu South Toastmasters club).

4 ADVICE FROM THE PROS The Danger of Vocal Intensity

BY BILL BROWN, DTM not have as strong an impact, but it can ing, “I don’t like this message.” Or worse, still get through. If you don’t have enough “I don’t like this person.” Expressiveness in a speech is best when it energy, your audience may drift away, Intensity has its place, but it does have is natural and organic. I find it helpful to but they are still only neutral toward you. its dark side. Be aware of its negative break it into its various components; that Intensity, however, has the potential to potential. Be alert to its possible presence way it is more of a series of techniques push them away. in your speeches. Be prepared to make any that we can employ. Of the nine different This one is different from all of the other changes that might be necessary in your dimensions of vocal variety, intensity is the dimensions. Your speech is better if you speaking style to moderate or eliminate it. one that can do real damage to your mes- have the other eight. With intensity, more sage. (The other eight dimensions are: vol- times than not, your speech is better if you This article was reprinted from Bill ume, pitch, pace, pause, emotion, energy, do not have it. If you do use it, do so sporad- Brown’s Speech Delivery Tips email series. character voices and tonal quality). ically. Give your audience a chance to rest. In most of the other dimensions, you Yes, intensity can be good—if it is in- Bill Brown, DTM, is a Speech Delivery don’t damage your message, you just don’t tentional, if it serves a purpose. But all too Coach from Las Vegas and a member of have the greatest effect. If the various often it is inherent and constant in your Powerhouse Pros, which specializes in ob- techniques to emphasize your message speaking style, and that creates tension in servational humor. Learn more by visiting are not fully utilized, your message may your audience’s mind. They may be think- www.billbrownspeechcoach.com.

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 7 QUICK TAKES

4 MEET MY MENTOR Ian Cunliffe, CC

BY MARY NESFIELD

If not for the encouragement of Ian Cunliffe, of West Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, Stefano Cossalter’s story may not have ended as happily. Cossalter was 32, with a wife and child, when he faced financial disaster. His business investment in a manufacturing company, along with his life savings, went up in smoke—literally—when a fire consumed the entire plant. With the prospect of building a new company, Cossalter lacked the confidence and courage to talk face-to-face to gain new clients. His father, once a Toastmaster, Stefano Cossalter, DTM, left, Tall Tales Champion, and Ian Cunliffe recommended he join a club. “I was a desperate man,” Cossalter says, “the first time I walked into my first meeting.” How did he help you? How did that go? Of all the countless hours Ian spent helping me hone a winning I decided to return to the Burnaby Toasters club and participate in attitude … the best advice was to give as much as I can to oth- Table Topics! When the time came, I raised my hand and walked ers. And that inspired me to mentor others just as selflessly as to the front of the room. When I heard the question, I was elated he has mentored me. I have more confidence today than ever because I knew how to answer it. I stepped forward confidently before. I’ve recovered financially and my new electronics business and opened my mouth to speak … but nothing came out. And grows daily. It makes me realize how important the mentoring then I babbled something unrecognizable. I started to sweat, process is in Toastmasters, especially for those who feel as vulner- turned red and sat down humiliated. I vowed never to return. able as I once felt. I owe it all to Toastmasters and my mentors. The next week the phone rang. It was Mel, a member, asking Mary Nesfield why I missed the meeting. Mel convinced me to return, and is the associate editor for Toastmaster magazine. later, to join. NOMINATE YOUR MARVELOUS MENTOR! Much later, I met Ian at another club and watched as he Do you know an exceptional mentor who has positively influenced ­delivered insightful speaker evaluations. I thought if I had an you? Send a 200-word description and photo (1 MB or larger) of ounce of the skill he had, there would be no limit to what I could you and your mentor to [email protected]. achieve. I asked him to mentor me; he agreed.

4 VISITING A CLUB WHILE TRAVELING From Canada to India

Sukhbir Singh Hanspal, center, from ­Mississauga, Ontario, Canada, poses with members of the ISC Bhopal Toastmas- ters International club in Bhopal, India. Hanspal contacted the club before his va- cation to India and in turn was invited to its 200th anniversary meeting. Pictured are awards for the members as mementos for the special occasion. “I wanted to observe and compare their meetings with those we have in District 86,” Hanspal says. “Amaz- ingly, I found them to be exactly the same. All speeches were done in English (with good command of the English language) and the subject matters (stories and hu- mor) were excellent.” Hanspal finished his visit by giving an impromptu speech.

8 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE 4 ADVICE FROM MEMBERS How to Deliver a Speech … Without Notes

BY WILLIAM NEUMAN, ACG

You just gave your fourth speech and you’re still using notes. Maybe it was a great speech; you might have even received a ribbon for “Most Improved” or “Best Speaker.” Could it have been better? Absolutely! If you review the instruc- tions in your Toastmasters manuals, they encourage you to deliver your speeches without referring to notes. Why is that so important? There are several reasons. Eye contact, rhythm, confidence and connection with the audi- So how do you do it? Here are some ideas. Still not convinced that you can speak without notes? Let me issue a challenge. ence are all affected when you read your 1. Decide on a subject. Think of it as an extended version of Table speech. And you’re probably not going to 2. Write down a working title. Topics. I will come up with a few words get far in speech contests if you have to 3. Jot down the key points of your speech. that I believe you will immediately be able rely on written notes. 4. Reduce each point to one word. to tell a five-minute story about. Is memorization the answer? No. It 5. Put the words in logical order so that Here they are: Cinderella and Robin Hood. is much harder than you might think to the speech flows with a rhythm that Can you do it? Of course you can, if you memorize a seven-minute speech. I have makes sense. given 53 speeches without notes, and know the stories. Even though you haven’t only one was memorized—and that was Each word will become a “trigger” that memorized the stories word-for-word, you the worst speech I have ever delivered. will remind you of each point you want to can summarize each one without difficulty. I should not have even tried. I delivered discuss in your speech. If you hear a short Know the stories that make up your it with so many awkward pauses as I story you can pretty well repeat that story next speech, and let the trigger words fumbled, and tried to recover, that I failed just about the way you heard it, not word- remind you of the stories. You’ll be able to to notice that the red timing light had for-word, but in a way that makes sense. deliver your speech—without notes—and come on. When the timer began franti- Just remember six or seven key words, each then collect the Best Speaker ribbon. T cally waving the dreaded red card, I knew of which will serve to remind you, collec- I was running out of time. I spoke the tively, of your speech “story.” If you try to William Neuman, CL, ACG, is a next two sentences so fast that I confused speak about more points than that, your member of Chats Toastmasters club in everyone. And then I abruptly stopped speech will confuse many of your listeners. Scottsdale, Arizona and Talk of the Town Toastmasters in Batavia, Illinois. He has speaking. Disaster. been a Toastmaster since 2013.

4 NEWS FROM TI Look Professional with Branded Business Cards

As members, you have the opportunity to create your own Toast- masters International branded business cards! Make a lasting impression at your next club meeting, open house or event. Use the branded business card template to create your cards and hand them to prospective members so they can easily contact you. Go to www.toastmasters.org/Resources/Club-Business-Cards to access the template. For questions regarding business cards, please email [email protected].

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 9 TRAVELING TOASTMASTER

1 1 | ARLENE JAYME, DTM, from Palm Bay, Florida, stands with a monk in front of Potala Palace in Lhasa, Tibet.

2 | BOB NISBET, DTM, from ­Guildford, United Kingdom, at Kuang Si Falls in Luang Prabang, Laos.

3 | MEMONA ABUOBAIDA, from East Riffa, Bahrain, poses in front of the Great Pyramid of Giza in Cairo, Egypt.

4 | RAVI PATIL, CC, CL, from Doha, Qatar, poses in the Dubai Miracle Garden, a flower garden located in the United Arab Emirates.

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View more photos on Toastmasters International Official Fan Page on Facebook.

PICTURE YOURSELF HERE! Pose with the Toastmaster magazine during your travels and submit your photos for a chance to be featured in an upcoming issue. Visit www.toastmasters.org/Submissions. Bon voyage! 10 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE MY TURN

Unity Amid Diversity Learning how to address controversial topics appropriately.

BY MITCH MIRKIN, CTM

t was at our January 18 club meeting, a Icouple of days before the inauguration of U.S. President Donald Trump, that the thought hit me: Our country, the United States, had just been through one of the most rancorous, divisive political election seasons in recent memory. Yet I couldn’t recall a single incident when political tensions and divisions had bubbled to the surface during our meetings. It’s not that we’re a politically mono- lithic club, by any means. I haven’t taken a poll, but I imagine our 30 or so mem- bers are probably split down the middle in terms of being liberal or conservative, Democrat or Republican. And I’m sure we have a few Independents, too. The author’s Toastmasters club is a widely diverse group that remains unified when speaking We are diverse in just about every other about controversial topics. way, as well: Our Baltimore, Maryland, club has young adults and octogenarians. ately, without inciting debate—or argu- In an excellent article that appeared in Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, Hindus ments—and without alienating anyone in this magazine in April 2012—titled “You’re and Jews, among others (and probably his audience, regardless of where they may Speaking About What?!”—Ruth Nasrullah, a few folks who don’t identify with any have stood on the issue. ACB, ALB, of Texas offered tips on “how formal religion). Doctors and blue-collar And just the other night, our Table to make controversial speech topics work workers. Executives and students. People ­Topicsmaster made a reference to Presi- for any audience.” Her bottom-line mes- who trace their ancestry back to Africa, dent Trump in his introduction. In some sage: “Don’t let sensitive topics scare you Asia, Europe or South America. Some who settings, just mentioning the new presi- off. The Toastmasters program can help were born and raised right here in Balti- dent’s name—even in a neutral context— you master speaking about them.” more and others who arrived in the U.S. seems enough to set off a ruckus. I’ve seen I hope, for the good of my country, from lands far away only a few years ago. it happen in the workplace and at family that our divisions heal. Politics will always Yet, somehow we all come together gatherings. But notably, and thankfully, no ignite strong passions and vigorous debate. every other Wednesday night united in such scene ensued at our meeting. Maybe As long as those debates stay within the purpose and spirit. We are a true reflection, the Toastmasters format and culture realm of respectful discourse—and do not I believe, of the melting pot that is America. engender an extra degree of tolerance, lead to violence—it’s all good. That’s what The topics of our speeches and presen- respect, civility and open-mindedness to democracy and freedom are all about. tations, as at most Toastmasters clubs, are topics of discussion. Society at large can learn from Toast- themselves diverse. And yes, they do oc- Toastmasters International on the whole masters. We can be diverse, in our casionally touch on politics. For example, does not shy away from controversy. The backgrounds and our views, but unified. one member recently brought up Colin rules don’t say to steer clear of politics, We can sound different notes, yet be in Kaepernick, the National Football League sex and religion, although many clubs, harmony. I am proud of my club because quarterback who sparked wide contro- especially in countries outside North it embodies this quality. As Toastmasters, versy in the U.S. by not standing during America, choose to do so. Learning how to let’s spread this mindset. Perhaps it’s what the national anthem, as an expression of address controversial topics appropriately the world needs most. T protest against racial injustice. Talk about and effectively is a valuable part of a public hot topics! But this member, as is typical speaker’s education. At the same time, MITCH MIRKIN, CTM, is a member of in our club, displayed discretion and good individual clubs may establish their own Randallstown Network Toastmasters in judgment. He made his point appropri- guidelines to suit their particular situations. Baltimore, Maryland.

PHOTO BY MITCH MIRKIN TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 11 EDUCATION PROGRAM

Pathways Off to a Strong Start District 57 members praise the new learning experience and its “digital transformation.” BY PAUL STERMAN

hyam Nath, ACB, recently started organization on the right track for the Sworking in the Pathways learning future, says Nath. “Pathways is the digital experience. As the director of technology transformation of Toastmasters,” he says. integrations for GE Digital—the software Nath, who belongs to a General Elec- arm of General Electric—in San Ramon, tric corporate club, is a member of District California, he is a savvy judge of all things 57 in Northern California, the first district technological. eligible to enroll in Pathways. In Febru- Happily, when it comes to Toastmas- ary, Toastmasters International began a ters’ new education program, Nath’s ver- three-district pilot program: After District dict is a positive one. He offers high praise 57 started off the program that month, for Base Camp, Pathways’ online learning District 27 in the Washington, D.C., area management system. The “self-service” followed in March, and District 51 in Ma- aspect of Base Camp makes the education laysia was scheduled to start next. process more efficient, he says, because In late July, Pathways is scheduled to the system guides you through the Path- launch in Region 14, the start of a phased “I think the likely result ways journey step by step, providing many rollout to regions around the world. Path- will be to raise the quality useful learning tools along the way. ways education materials will be translated In a world of ever-advancing technol- into the eight non-English languages of mentoring consistently ogy, the new learning experience puts the sup­ported by Toastmasters International: across clubs.” Arabic, French, German, Japanese, Portu- guese, Simplified Chinese, Spanish and Tra- —GEORGE MARSHALL, DTM ditional Chinese. To see the order in which regions will roll out and translated materials “I think it shows a lot of thought went will be available, view the rollout schedule on into the development of Pathways,” says the Pathways learning experience webpage: Marshall, a retired marketing executive. www.toastmasters.org/Pathways. “When you dig into it, you can see that the Pathway design team drew heavily on First Impressions the current education program, but also District 57 members participating in the added a lot of new projects that did not pilot have many good things to say about exist before, like ones on social media, Pathways. Among those working in the podcasting and blogging.” He also appreci- program is George Marshall, DTM, a ates the mobile accessibility of the pro- dedicated Pathways volunteer from the gram, noting that he’s worked in Pathways “Pathways is the digital start. The 14-year Toastmaster, who is on a computer and a tablet. working in the Presentation Mastery While Marshall is a veteran Toast­ transformation of path, says he is impressed by the pro- master, Annie Li is a new member. She Toastmasters.” gram’s instructional design. The projects joined at just about the time Pathways are well-structured, engaging and relevant rolled out in District 57, so this is the —SHYAM NATH, ACB to members’ needs, he says. only education program she’s known

12 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE xxxxxxxxxx

is an improved mentoring program, which includes a series of mentoring-focused projects. “I think the likely result will be to raise the quality of mentoring consistently across clubs,” he says. Marshall is also the lead producer of District 57’s own television program, Toastmaster Time, where members give speeches and receive evaluations, just like in club meetings. On a recent episode of the 20-year-old program, Nath delivered a Pathways speech—a first for Toastmaster Time. His speech was from the “Using De- scriptive Language” project, an elective in in Toastmasters. “I think it’s great,” club visits went well in the district, with several of the paths. Nath, who is working she says. members responding enthusiastically to in the Dynamic Leadership path, spoke A member of two clubs, Li says the the Pathways presentations. about demystifying the “internet of things.” Pathways Assessment was valuable. When “It’s been a more positive response Marshall was his evaluator. (To watch the members first enroll in the program they than what I expected,” says Marshall, episode, go to bit.ly/2pIDMHF.) take an assessment, in which they answer who is also an Ambassador. “I expected Marshall and Nath—who is also a a series of questions about their skills and more of the ‘Why do we have to change?’ Pathways Guide— note that although goals. Based on their answers, they receive feedback.” most District 57 members are pleased a recommendation for the best path to A member of three clubs—including with what they’ve seen of the Pathways work in, although they are not required an online club—Marshall says one of the projects, many still want to work in the to choose that one. (The program has highlights of the new education program current education program for a while, 10 paths—with titles like Motivational eager to complete education awards they Strategies, Leadership Development and are working toward. The current and new Persuasive Influence—and a minimum of programs will run concurrently for a mini- 14 projects in each path.) Li is working in mum of 24 months after all districts have the path recommended from her assess- been included in the program rollout. ment results: Innovative Planning. A number of District 57 members “We know that Toastmasters is incred- talked about their positive Pathways ibly vital to all sorts of communication, ­experience in a testimonials video. (Watch but being able to pinpoint exactly what it at www.toastmasters.org/Pathways you’re trying to accomplish with your Testimonials.) In the video, Patricia public speaking at least gives you a road Gray, DTM, says, “What I like best about map, and a starting point, so you can Pathways is the fact that it’s much more develop [those skills] and add on to them customized to what you may want to get along the way,” says Li, who works in the out of Toastmasters, what your goals are.” financial industry. Naomi Takeuchi, DTM, adds, “There The Pathways Assessment are 10 different paths. It’s amazing how Club Visits “gives you a road map, and much opportunity there is for the future.” Pathways Guides and Ambassadors—two To learn more about Pathways, visit member-volunteer groups who help other a starting point, so you www.toastmasters.org/Pathways. The members learn about Pathways—team up can develop [particular webpage includes FAQs as well as informa- to visit clubs and explain how the pro- tion about Pathways’ history, Base Camp gram works and the many ways members skills] and add on to them and the role of member volunteers. T can benefit from it. Marshall is a District along the way.” 57 Pathways Guide and also serves as its Paul Sterman is senior editor for Toast- Pathways Guide Coordinator. He says —ANNIE LI master magazine.

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 13 COMMUNICATION

Social Network Etiquette New rules for minding your manners in a digital world. BY SCOTT STEINBERG

ant to enjoy a more positive online  Never post photos of others without them, to information and influences that Wexperience, project a more profes- first asking permission. Consider what may make either party uncomfortable; sional image and form more meaningful messages the photos convey about the be certain to understand the risk you’re relationships via digital channels? Thank- individuals being portrayed, and also how taking in doing so. Prior to requesting or fully, all it takes to communicate more others may perceive them. accepting connections from colleagues, effectively online is just a little more mind- think about material you’re apt to share— fulness and forethought, as I discovered  Relationships or personal drama is is it appropriate? while researching my new book Netiquette best kept private. If you cannot resist the Essentials: New Rules for Minding Your urge to share, do so sparingly—and in the Tone of Voice and Attitude Manners in a Digital World. most vague, unspecific terms as possi-  Professionalism is imperative. If you The following hints and tips will help ble—for the sake of those uninterested or wouldn’t say it in a social or work set- you to more successfully engage others via unwilling to participate. No information ting, don’t say it online. Politeness and high-tech channels and put your best foot should be shared about other individuals respect are vital: Always be considerate of forward online. without their permission. others, and treat them the way you’d wish to be treated. Maintain a positive tone What’s OK to Share?  Uncomfortable or revealing personal and attitude. Negativity, complaints and information should be shared sparingly,  Sharing extremely opinionated condescending messages reflect poorly on if at all, and—unless acquaintances have viewpoints (e.g., political leanings or the poster. indicated that they’re comfortable viewing thoughts on controversial topics) can this content—only with others you know be a lightning rod online. Think twice  Be advised that personality, conver- in real life. before “liking” these types of status up- sational nuances and subtle shifts in dates or posting such opinions; they can tone may be lost in translation. Indi-  To minimize risks of crime, vandal- incite and aggravate others and live on in vidual users interpret messages differ- ism or identity theft, never share inti- perpetuity. If you feel the need to express ently. Consider how posts can be read and mate personal details online—including your opinions, consider confining such interpreted before sending. birthdates, phone numbers, addresses, communications to individual friends or schools or hometowns. Never let others specific groups. Ultimately, it’s important  Poor spelling, punctuation, gram- know when you’ll be away from home, to remember: If you don’t have anything mar and word choice also reflect poorly especially for any given length of time, for nice to say, perhaps it’s best left unsaid. on you—proofread all communications instance while on vacation. before sending. Avoid shorthand, abbre-  Avoid posting embarrassing or nega- viations and online slang.  Avoid posting on social networks tive photos of yourself. Remember: Im- unless you have a tight grasp over your ages you share may be taken at face value  Understand that various online fo- privacy settings and are completely com­ and/or viewed as representative of your rums (social networks, blogs and digital fortable sharing your updates with the group. character—and they live on the internet communities) have their own rules of forever. All images should show respect; conduct, social norms and methods of in-  Before connecting with work col- context is often lost online, and even fun teraction. Before using one, take a moment leagues on social networks, consider and goofy shots may send the wrong mes- to step back and observe how interactions if you’d still want to be connected to sage. Always err on the side of caution if take place so you can discern appropriate them if you ever leave the position. In you’re uncertain how others may interpret rules of posting, sharing and behavior. addition, remember that connecting with your photos or posts. coworkers online may expose you, or

14 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE xxxxxxxxxx

If you wouldn’t say it in a social or work setting, don’t say it online.

 Automatic email signatures are OK, but they shouldn’t be overly intrusive. A name, job title/business name, address, email address and phone number will get your point across. Anything more is overkill (inspirational quotes and rainbow colors included). Once you get a response to your email, delete your signature before your next response to keep the same information  Never forget: Despite their appear- It is inappropriate to contact your pros- from needlessly repeating multiple times. ance of intimacy, social networks and pects on a social network with a direct online forums are among the most sales pitch. Instead, look for ways to help  More employers are turning to online public of spaces. It’s important to con- support an organization, effort, topic or search engines to research prospective duct yourself on them as you would in any project that these individuals support, and partners and hires. First impressions say a shared setting. present an offer to help. Or, find other lot. Be aware of the results that come up for positive ways to incentivize interaction and your name, including potentially damag-  Be a good “go-to” resource. When opportunities to get to know one another. ing or embarrassing content and links. You posting online, whether curating others’ For example, start a conversation by of- can build and maintain a positive online content or creating your own, make sure fering to feature your online contact on reputation by posting helpful, high-quality the material you share is relevant and useful your company blog or begin the process of content that is of service to others. Do so to your connections. To generate goodwill relationship building by sending a prospect frequently, so as to surface your pieces and service to others, always ask yourself a free copy of your company’s latest book. more visibly in online search results. before posting: What’s in it for them?  Under no circumstance should you  When applying for employment,  To effectively engage others, also ask pitch a product, service or prospective always review prospective employers’ these questions before posting: Is what’s business opportunity on someone else’s rules for submission. Resumes should being shared fun and imaginative? Is it public wall or profile. Some users will, include keywords (specific phrases energetic and enthusiastic? Does it draw however, provide professional contact frequently used to denote job titles and attention with cool and exciting details? information on their public profile. It may descriptions, professional experience and The goal should be to make content invit- be acceptable in some cases to use it to technical terms when performing online ing, interactive and accessible—it should contact them, although reaching out via queries) which can give you greater vis- encourage others to interact with you. Ask any personal contact information is not. ibility in search results. Keywords (e.g., questions, start conversations and other- “systems administrator” vs. “IT expert”) are wise incentivize connections to generate  If you send an email, keep the mes- often found in the job description itself. T and share dialogue. sage short and quickly get to the point. Include a general summary and key ques- Scott Steinberg is a professional Networking, Selling and tions or queries in the first few lines. Also speaker and author. His most recent book Job Hunting Online include your name and contact informa- is Ne­ tiquette Essentials: New Rules for With rare exceptions, if a prospective tion, and be respectful with email and Minding Your Manners in a Digital online contact wanted to be pitched, you message signatures. World. Learn more about him at would already have their email address. www.AKeynoteSpeaker.com.

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 15 PRESENTATION SKILLS

Learn to create catchy speech openings from top contest winners.

BY LISA B. MARSHALL, CTM

“Have you ever been surprised to find out you weren’t as good or as smart as you thought?” That’s the first sentence from my book, Smart Talk. The goal? To make an immediate connection with the reader. It’s the same goal I have for speeches. Powerful opening words, when combined with strong stage presence, can seductively draw the audience in, cleverly hint at the topic and make an emotional connection with the audience.

That’s why, when preparing a keynote speech, I spend 10 times Why does it work? First, the underwear is more time developing and practicing the opener than any unexpected and inherently funny. Second, silently other part of the speech. pulling white underwear over dark suit pants You only have seconds to make a powerful first impression creates an unexpected sight gag. It produces on the audience. And if you don’t hook them, you’ve lost them. laughter, contrast and suspense—why is he doing Toastmasters World Champions of Public Speaking are that? Then the startling first words increase the experts at creatively grabbing attention and winning over audi- mystery. Finally the tension is released when ences at the start of their speeches. By analyzing their methods the audience realizes Tay is talking about being and techniques, and also what could go wrong with them, you bullied. All these steps together masterfully set can create even stronger openings to impress your audience. the stage, making the audience receptive to the speech’s powerful message: We are our own Visual Humor worst bullies. Darren Tay, But visual humor is tricky. It needs to be 2016 World Champion, Singapore: thought-provoking, not offensive. What you think “Outsmart; Outlast” is funny might not be universally understood, or even considered funny. Also, it requires prolonged For a full eight seconds Tay says nothing; he just looks around confident silence; if the speaker seems uncertain, the room confidently. Then he pulls out a pair of white un- the audience will be uncomfortable. They may start derwear, slides them over his suit’s pant legs and stands there, to worry and wonder—has something gone wrong? arms akimbo, staring intensely. After 25 seconds of silence he Finally, the presence of a funny prop can be quite finally shouts, “Hey, loser, how do you like your new school distracting if not presented and removed from sight uniform? I think it looks great on you.” After a moment he at exactly the right times. Yes, Tay did everything explains to the stunned listeners, “Those were the words of my just right. But this kind of opener takes careful plan- high school bully, Greg Umberfield.” ning, comedic skill and immense poise.

16 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 17 PRESENTATION SKILLS

Demonstration Mohammed Qahtani, 2015 World Champion, Dhahran, Saudi Arabia: “The Power of Words”

He walks onstage, puts a cigarette in his mouth … then looks up as if noticing the audience and says, “What?” As the audience laughs, he continues. “Oh, you all think smoking kills? Ha-ha, let me tell you something. Do you know that the amount of people dying from diabetes are three times Ryan Avery as many [as the] people dying from smoking? Yet if I pulled out Presiyan a Snickers bar, nobody would say anything.” He continues by Vasilev saying that faulty DNA is the leading cause of lung cancer, not smoking. And then surprises us when he admits that he made question is a comparison, which in turn Dana heightens the appeal. Had he used only words rather njaya all of that up! Hett iarac Qahtani uses fabricated statistics, along with visual humor, than the additional prop for ­reinforcement, the comparison hchi to creatively demonstrate his point—which has nothing to do wouldn’t have been as strong. with diabetes or smoking. His topic? The persuasive power of One danger of comparisons is taking them too far. In fact, words. Had he just come onstage and said, “Your words have the ancient Romans had a saying: “All analogies limp.” None are power,” the audience would have yawned—instead, the audience perfect, so when speech-making, stick to one or two key com­ experiences the main idea and is primed to listen. That’s the parative elements. Extending the comparison too far can weaken power of a demonstration. the speech. However, demonstrations can be risky—particularly at the beginning of a speech and if they involve the use of props. Even Quasi Chiasmus, and Universal Question if you sufficiently rehearse, unsettled nerves can cause mistakes Presiyan Vasilev, in execution, causing the demonstration to either take too long 2013 World Champion, Chicago, Illinois: or fail entirely. It is difficult, if not impossible, to recover from a “Changed by a Tire” failed opening demonstration. “The steering wheel jerked. I tried to keep the car in control. That Comparison night in Chicago ... a flat tire changed me … Mr. Contest Chair, Dananjaya Hettiarachchi, Toastmasters and guests, have you ever done anything stupid?” 2014 World Champion, Nawala Rajagiriya, Sri Lanka: Chiasmus is a reversal of words in two or more parallel “I See Something” phrases. The most famous example? Former U.S. President John F. Kennedy’s “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what He walks onstage with a red rose in his pocket, then takes it out, you can do for your country.” Why is Vasilev’s phrase a quasi smells it and says, “You and I are not very different from this chiasmus? Because the audience expects him to say, “I changed flower. Just like this flower is unique, you are unique.” a tire,” not “a tire changed me.” That’s what makes this phrase so appealing and memorable. It’s an unexpected reversal of the usual order of those particular words. One danger of comparisons is taking A well-executed rhetorical chiasmus requires the reversal to be obvious, which often means the words slightly change in them too far. In fact, the ancient Romans meaning. For example, notice how the word “power” changes in had a saying: “All analogies limp.” this quote from former U.S. President Bill Clinton, “People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example than by the example of our power.” Technically, Hettiarachchi seamlessly integrates two methods: To add even more strength, Vasilev follows the quasi chias- comparison and prop. Comparisons help audience members mus with a universal question, which allows the audience to put quickly understand abstract or complex ideas by connecting themselves into the situation. Not everyone has experienced a tire those ideas to what they already know, and props create intrigue blowout, but everyone has done something stupid. If a universal and interest. The audience members wonder, Why does he have question is crafted well—thoughtful phrasing is the key—it will be a flower? In this case, his response to that unspoken relevant to everyone in the audience and it won’t feel gratuitous.

18 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE

Dana njaya Hett iarac hchi

Jo sephi Preview Flashback ne Lee

Ryan Avery,

2012 World Champion, Portland, Oregon: Moh ammed “Trust Is a Must” Qahtani Darren Tay First, Avery paints the scene: He’s at the altar, about to answer the most important question of his life—“Do you promise opening shows that quotations at the beginning of …” Then he flashes back to his high school days and the false a speech don’t have to be from literature. They can be from ­promises he made to his mother. As the story of his life unfolds, someone you know, or from the news, or from an authority or he leads us back to his wedding, and at the end we hear his celebrity. Her opening also demonstrates that quotes need to be de- answer. livered in a natural, ­conversational ­manner, with direct eye contact. We’ve all seen flashbacks in movies. Why does it work in a What typically goes wrong? If a quotation is too long or has a speech? For the same reason movie directors do it: You start on a complicated word structure, it can be difficult for an audience to high note of action, creating immediate suspense. And the struc- understand. They won’t get it. Or if the quote is read, it forces the ture requires a return to the beginning at the end, which naturally speaker to lose eye contact and connection. Finally, some people creates a satisfying circle of closure. choose a quote that’s meaningful to them but not necessarily to However, flashbacks can be risky because an audience may not the listeners, so it’s important to ensure that the quote is relevant notice that a flashback has occurred and they may get confused. to your audience. It’s critical to say and show that the time frame has shifted. Avery solves this problem by physically stepping back on the stage while saying, “Rewind like an old-school VHS tape.” One Size Does Not Fit All It’s important to notice that all these speakers chose different Quotation primary techniques and usually combined several methods for the Josephine Lee, greatest impact. And, very likely, each speech took several weeks 3rd place in the 2016 World Championship, to initially craft, and required multiple deliveries and modifications Santa Ana, California: to refine these excellent openings. The goal for you is to use these “I Will Be There” examples as starting points for your own creativity. By under- standing why these openings work, and what can go wrong, you’ll Lee didn’t win the 2016 championship, but her speech offers be better equipped to develop your own winning opening. T another example of a strong and creative opening. She starts by speaking slowly and with emotion. “‘I … will be there.’ Those four Lisa B. Marshall, CTM, is a communications expert who delivers words can help you make a friend.” consulting and workshops, the author of Smart Talk and Ace Your She highlights the importance of these words by making that Interview, and host of the Public Speaker and Smart Talk pod- phrase the title and by repeating it throughout the speech. Lee’s casts. Learn more at www.lisabmarshall.com.

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 19 PERSONAL GROWTH

Contest Life Lessons: You Don’t Have to Win to Win A trophy is only one of many rewards BY JENNIFER L. BLANCK, DTM, for speech contestants. AND LÁSZLÓ (LACI) SZÜCS, ACB

“ r. Szücs, I have good news and bad The moments when we feel coming all feedback helped her discover Mnews for you.” ­connected matter the most new strengths. During this period, she With those words, Laci Szücs, ACB, Even compared to when Szücs was com- also persevered through whiplash, a started his 2016 semifinal speech in front peting on the Slovakia national boxing concussion and the death of her father. of the International Convention audience team, those six months leading up to the Then, one week before the semifinals, in Washington, D.C. He didn’t know it yet, semifinals—filled with successes, failures her stammer returned along with searing but it was the beginning of the end of his and obstacles—comprised the most intense self-doubt. Pushing past this new level of contest journey—a six-month adventure period of his life. He says, “One day, I felt fear was worth it, says Carter, a workplace of speaking, meeting people and learning like the king of the world. The next, I felt communication and leadership trainer. that took him to six countries. like my speeches and I barely mattered.” At After winning the club portion of the first, the second feeling dominated. Then International Speech Contest at Skylarks he started to appreciate the moments when Szücs learned to chan- Toastmasters club in Budapest, Hungary, he faced big and unknown challenges, nel the overwhelming Szücs continued to win at the area com- like speaking in front of 700 people at the petition in Budapest; the division level in district contest. Szücs, who joined Toast- ­emotions and sensations Vienna, Austria; and the district contest in masters in 2013 to cope with his then-new … into his speech to Timișoara, Romania. Like other competi- position leading 40 engineers, learned to tors continuing to the International Speech channel the overwhelming emotions and ­connect with others and Contest semifinals at the convention, Szücs sensations—fear, stress, adrenaline, excite- drive his message home. took his speech on the road to test his mes- ment, encouragement and more—into his sage and fine-tune his delivery. In addition speech to connect with others and drive his to practicing at other Hungarian clubs, he message home. The moments he remem- “I have only moved forward and grown spoke to a club in Berlin, Germany, and at bers most are when he felt that connection when I’ve taken a deep breath and a leap several events in London. He then flew to with others—even with himself. of faith, no matter how unprepared or the United States before the convention unworthy I felt.” When asked after the and spoke at three clubs in Virginia. Along The competition isn’t with other semifinals if she would compete again, her the way, he worked with his mentor and a speakers; it’s with your own brain immediate answer was, “Yes! Of course!” team of supporters. He also received advice Leading up to the 2012 International from 2000 Toastmasters World Champion Speech Contest semifinals, Carol Carter, You don’t have to wish for of Public Speaking Ed Tate. DTM, a member of three clubs in British others to fail for you to win After all that work, you might think Columbia, Canada, vowed to never again As a former U.S. Marine, Joel Dawson, Szücs was devastated when his journey participate in a speech competition. Before DTM, from Evangeline Toastmasters in ended at the semifinals. But something joining Toastmasters, she had a debilitat- Lafayette, Louisiana, excelled at mental happened during this whole process, and ing fear of being judged—she had always toughness. He says, “I was totally prepared Szücs and many other contestants will tell played it safe and waited to feel “ready” and for the pressure of competing for the you that even though they didn’t win the “worthy.” Speech contests changed this. world title.” Approaching the 2016 semi- competition, they did indeed win a great Six months of crafting and delivering finals at the convention, he thought of his deal from the experience. the same seven-minute speech and wel- fellow competitors as “enemies.”

20 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE xxxxxxxxxx

Laci Szücs Joel Dawson Reiko Masui

However, when everyone arrived for tweaking and rehearsing his speech. He and connecting.” Everyone was warm the contest briefing, their “war faces” learned that the days when he most want- and supportive, she notes. Just before the weren’t that of people preparing for battle. ed to stop were some of the most import- contest, the contestants were dancing They were full of smiles. Everyone became ant ones. “There were days when I wanted backstage, taking pictures and having a friends. On the night of the competition, to say, ‘I’m staying home tonight,’” Murray great time. Even after the contest, they all nothing had changed: “It wasn’t like any recalls. It was on those days when people stayed in contact. competition or battle I knew. Everyone would tell him how much his speech reso- Lee, who advanced to the final round was still friendly. The handshakes we ex- nated with them and gave them strength. of the competition and finished in third changed the night before became hugs!” place, says this powerful connection has Dawson genuinely wanted everyone to stayed with her. “I had the most incredible do well and was actually cheering for oth- “It’s not about winning or time meeting Toastmasters from all over ers. “I was able to enjoy watching friends the world. The trophies are nice, but the compete at the highest level. It’s a memory even being confident. It’s best parts were the memories and friend- as well as a lesson I will cherish for the about giving. There is al- ships I formed for a lifetime.” rest of my life!” Competitors in Toastmasters contests ways someone who needs will tell you that they gain so much from Speaking to help others to hear your speech. Your the experience, regardless of good news or Reiko Masui, CC, CL, from Tokyo, Japan, bad news when the results are announced. received an email after she won at the mission is to believe that They’ve been given the opportunity district level of the 2016 contest. The and uplift that person.” to feel connected to others, push their writer of the message said Masui’s speech own limits, be excited for the success of inspired his mentee to pursue her dream — REIKO MASUI others, help each other, give of themselves of studying English in the United States. and gain knowledge, understanding and The mentee was about to give up until friendships—that’s what makes the jour- she heard Masui’s speech at the district “Choosing to overcome the voices of ney worthwhile. They continue to com- conference. The email changed Masui’s doubt, fear and comfort allowed me to pete and encourage others to do so too. understanding of public speaking, because push myself to compete with the best,” he “Looking back on my trip to Wash- she realized the only reason to give a says. “It gave me strength.” Like Masui, ington, D.C., I can say these were some speech is to help someone. Murray valued the opportunity to serve of the most memorable moments of my “It’s not about winning or even being people in a way that empowered them in life,” Lee says. “I gained eight lifelong confident. It’s about giving,” she says. their moments of weakness. friends from all over the world. I would

“There is always someone who needs say that’s winning.” T to hear your speech. Your mission is to It’s not about trophies believe that and uplift that person.” After winning her district contest, Jo- Jennifer L. Blanck, DTM, is a member sephine Lee didn’t know what to expect of the Conestoga Toastmasters club in The more we give, the more from last year’s convention. “I stepped Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and a regular we receive into the semifinals briefing and something contributor to the Toastmaster magazine. During his journey to the 2016 semifinals, interesting happened,” says Lee, a member Chad Murray, CC, CL, of Freeport, New of two clubs in Southern California. “We László (Laci) Szücs, ACB, is a member York, spoke at a different Toastmasters all found our seats, introduced ourselves of the Skylarks and Pest-Beszéd clubs in club every night and was constantly and immediately started joking around Budapest, Hungary.

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 21 COMMUNICATION

A Toastmasters Guide to

Social Communication How Civilto avoid shattering personal relationships when you disagree. BY DAVE ZIELINSKI

Chances are you’ve found yourself in this can help navigate these difficult conversations toward more productive outcomes. uncomfortable situation during a recent Developing Open Mindsets conversation with a co-worker, family member Having open-minded conversations with those who have dif- or Toastmasters colleague: A topic arises that ferent perspectives not only honors the rules of civil behavior, communication experts say, it’s also a critical skill for life success. stops a seemingly pleasant discussion in its Ann Van Eron, founder of Potentials, a global coaching and tracks or that escalates into a simmering organization development firm in Chicago, Illinois, and author of the book OASIS Conversations: Leading with an Open Mindset discussion with both sides quickly digging in their heels. Whether to Maximize Potential, says one of the most important things tied to a political, work-based, religious or other sensitive topic, we can do in these challenging scenarios is to “assume positive what had been an innocent interaction becomes a battle of wills intent” in other parties. “Assume that most people are doing the and entrenched belief systems with little attempt to find common best they can based on what they are hearing or seeing,” Van Eron ground or mutual understanding. says. “Most are not consciously plotting to upset or hurt you. It’s Few would disagree that it’s become harder for us to talk a human condition to judge others, but it’s essential that we learn to one another in a civil, thoughtful and constructive fashion. how to manage our judgments.” Recent polarizing political elections, the proliferation of social Van Eron, who has taught her methods to organizations like media and a shift in norms around societal decorum have led to the United Nations and the World Bank, says it’s in our nature to walls replacing bridges in many of our personal or work-related make assumptions based on limited data. During highly emotion- interactions. Incivility, close-minded thinking or demeaning al conversations, when the brain’s amygdala system is activated, comments not only can shatter personal relationships, they can we have a limited capacity to see the bigger picture or seek out splinter Toastmasters clubs or work teams, undermine trust, im- areas of mutual agreement. “When we sit in judgment we don’t pair collaboration and negatively impact organizational or group see other options or solutions,” Van Eron says. For example, performance. it’s easy for us to think someone is wrong simply because they How can we learn to communicate and interact more effec- support a different political party than we do, advocate or reject tively with those who don’t share our points of view, our cultures gun control or because of their position on abortion. “We have to or our life experiences? Experts say there are some guidelines that learn to notice the signals that push us into this judgment state, such as the tightening of our stomachs or a voice in our heads,

22 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE and force ourselves to stop, step back and shift into a more open-minded state,” Van Eron says. While it’s important to have empathy for, and under- standing of, others’ beliefs, it doesn’t mean acquiescing to their viewpoints, Van Eron says. “When we give empathy it doesn’t mean we agree,” she says. “It simply means we’ve listened closely to and we understood the other person’s point of view. By doing that, the other party naturally becomes more interested in what you have to say.” tions that prevail around political views, and addressed the ques- Facts Aren’t What They Used to Be tion: Could blatantly false or unsubstantiated beliefs be corrected Another factor driving growing divides is a conviction that by with an objective communication of the truth? The research came simply employing enough data, statistics or shrewd arguments, to an eye-opening conclusion: When people believe something we can get others to see the error of their ways and join our side. very strongly, the exposure to contradictory information—even But those appeals bump up against a hard reality, experts say. if that information is proven to be true by impartial sources—can “When it comes to strongly-held beliefs, research shows it is actually reinforce their existing belief system, even if those beliefs very rare to get people to change their minds,” says Jesse Scinto, are incorrect. an active Toastmaster and associate director of curriculum devel- “People will go to great lengths to avoid the cognitive disso- opment in strategic communications at Columbia University in nance created when their beliefs don’t seem to jive with the facts,” New York City. says Jim Endicott, president of Distinction Communication in A joint study by University of Michigan and Georgia State Newberg, Oregon, a presentation skills coaching firm. University sought to understand how effective facts are at sway- David Livermore, president of the Cultural Intelligence Center ing belief systems. The study focused on documented misconcep- in Holt, Michigan, and an expert in cross-cultural communi-

ILLUSTRATION BY BART BROWNE TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 23 COMMUNICATION

cation, says that confirmation bias, or our tendency to look for and favor information that confirms what we already think, also contributes to today’s divisive environments. “We tend to scour social media, the news and conversations for confirmation of what we already believe and ignore any information to the con- trary,” Livermore says.

Seeking Common Ground How then do we approach situations where relating more effec- tively to—or influencing—others is the goal, but we know our counterparts hold opposing views? Endicott says success starts by setting the right expectations. People have what psychologists call a “latitude of acceptance” or willingness to consider and accept different viewpoints. Let’s say, for example, a “1” might represent a conservative mindset and “10” a liberal belief system. “Your ability to influence some- about our families or financial issues, and finding humor in those one else’s thinking can be greatly impaired if you attempt to move situations can build bridges that connect us.” them too far along that scale,” Endicott says. “If you try to move Carter says the simple act of being interested in and respectful someone from a 9 to a 2 it likely won’t happen. But it might be of others goes a long way toward creating more civil and produc- possible to move them from a 9 to a 7. People will sometimes tive conversations. consider a change in thinking if your goal is to move them incre- “When I stop being angry and just focus on listening, and my mentally along a belief system.” In baseball parlance, your odds of intent purely is to understand the other person without trying success grow if you seek to hit a single or double with audiences to change them, I find magic often happens,” says Carter. “The rather than a home run. question we have to ask ourselves is do we want to be right or do we want to connect with other people? Do we need everyone in our lives to think and believe exactly like we do, or do we want to reach “We tend to scour social media, the news out, learn about and connect with those who are different from us?” In situations where persuading others with different views is and conversations for confirmation of the end-game—be it a sales situation in the workplace or as the what we already believe and ignore any goal of a Toastmasters speech—experts say we’re best served by appealing to the right side rather than left side of audiences’ information to the contrary.” brains. Use of data and statistics is processed by the left brain. —DAVID LIVERMORE “The problem with the left brain is that it’s the most defense-in- tensive and where people tend to dig in their heels more,” Endi- cott says. Better to use strategies like storytelling that target the Scinto says seeking out shared values also can help in these right brain, he says. “The best stories are not right or wrong, they scenarios. “Instead of stating your own point of view, start with are simply recounting an experience or moment of transforma- something you presume your audience might agree with,” he says. tion and letting listeners draw their own conclusions. Stories also For example, if the topic is the environment, rather than begin- reside in long-term memory.” ning with a focus on deforestation practices, you might address There’s also the challenge of how to respond appropriately to the future of next generations. “The shared value of our children’s offensive statements made online or in person. Some believe it’s and grandchildren’s futures would be an entry point to the dis- better to remain silent and avoid escalating a conflict by speaking cussion,” Scinto says. up. But experts say there is a cost to such avoidance. Express- ing your own view is essential, Scinto says, because if you don’t, Humor and Storytelling as Bridge Builders others might assume you agree with them. Not speaking up also Humor also can help people find common ground and decrease deprives those who’ve said something considered inflammatory a the tension that arises around disagreement or division, says Judy chance to make things right. Carter, an author, speaker and coach who’s also a stand-up co- Avoid labeling what others have said and instead talk about median. Carter often speaks to groups that she knows likely don’t your own reaction to the offensive comment, Scinto suggests. share her politics or some of her belief systems. “Just like in a good evaluation of a Toastmasters speech, focus on “It doesn’t matter your politics, religious beliefs, cultural using the ‘I’ word,” he says. “You might say, ‘I’m uncomfortable identity or sexual orientation, we all have universal things in com- with the use of that word or phrase’ rather than labeling what the mon,” says Carter. “Those might be things like stress, concerns other person has said or done.”

24 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE THE ONLINE DIVIDE: HOW SOCIAL MEDIA AFFECTS OUR COMMUNICATION STYLES

Social media has had a significant impact on the Cultural intelligence expert David Livermore says way we communicate in both the online and offline he has yet to see someone change their perspective worlds, communication experts say. The absence based upon an exchange of ideas or an argument of a face-to-face factor often emboldens people on Facebook. While social media can be a force for to speak more freely and derisively, stripping away good, people too often use it to entrench in their time-honored conventions that can facilitate more own belief systems and not consider other view- civil interactions. points, he says. “Social media conditions us to use proactive and “I say pick up one-way behaviors like posting our own opinions, the phone, go to but in the process we forget that relationships only coffee and see grow deeper when we ask questions, when we what can be dis- pause to think or when we rephrase to confirm that covered together we’ve listened to and understood others,” says Jim through conver- Endicott, president of Distinction Communication. sation, mutual “That’s becoming a lost art, because people often understanding and are so anxious on social media to make their own disagreement,” arguments and balance the scales of opinions.” Livermore says.

Communicating Across Cultures Role of Body Language The risks of communication going awry are amplified when we How we use body language, vocal tone and eye contact also interact with those from other cultures, Livermore says, given the contributes to the civility or acrimony of our in-person conver- different norms and behaviors practiced around the globe. The sations. “Strive for an open body posture with hands open, head time-honored advice of striving to see from another’s eyes can and shoulders back, good eye contact and an appropriate tone,” pay big dividends in these interactions. says Endicott. “Perhaps the greatest test of your cultural intelligence (CQ) Scinto says that while it’s important to monitor your body is seeing whether you can take on the perspective of someone language, there is danger in doing so at the expense of concealing who exercises low CQ,” Livermore writes. “Good intentions don’t true feelings. “Trying to bottle up our true beliefs often doesn’t eradicate inappropriate behavior. But consideration of the intent work, because audiences can sense our feelings through our body is required before figuring out how to respond.” language,” he says. “When you’re speaking from your heart your body language naturally conforms to that. But when you try to cover up what’s inside, body language becomes misaligned with “Instead of stating your own point of view, feelings.” start with something you presume your In the end, experts say we all should ponder this fundamental question when interacting with those who have different belief audience might agree with.” systems: Is it more important to be right or to dig a little deeper —JESSE SCINTO to find the common ground that can help us develop a better understanding of why those with opposing views think, believe Livermore says one of the biggest impediments to communi- and act the way they do? cating constructively across cultures is use of the “single story,” “There is so much that can divide us all, but as Toastmasters which refers to viewing those from different countries or back- part of our job is to be ambassadors of inspiration and unity,” grounds in one-dimensional ways. He says the idea comes from a Carter says. “We should seek to connect with all of the audiences TED talk by Nigerian novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, where of our lives, not simply to be right. Our job is to break down walls she says, “The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem and try to lead others gently down the path toward understand- with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but they are incom- ing and acceptance.” T plete. They make the one story become the only story.” Says Livermore: “All of us are more complicated than a single Dave Zielinski is a freelance journalist in Minneapolis, Minne- story based on where we’re from, how we voted or the color of sota, and a frequent contributor to the Toastmaster magazine. our skin. Challenge any attempts at reducing an individual or a group to a single story.”

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 25 NEWS FROM TI

Official Notice of Vote Your 2017–2018 Officer and Director Candidates

n Saturday, August 26, 2017, you will ­positions of International President-Elect, 2017 Annual Ohave the opportunity to vote for the First Vice President and Second Vice Business Meeting international officer and director candidates ­President. International director candidates 1:00 p.m. of your choice while attending the Interna­ were nominated for Regions 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, Saturday, August 26, 2017 tional Convention in Vancouver, Canada. 11 and 13. The­ Committee’s selection is Vancouver Convention Centre West The International Leadership Commit­ presented in accordance with the Bylaws of Vancouver, Canada tee nominated officer c­ andidates for the Toastmasters International, Article VIII.

Officer Candidates Director Candidates

From Region 1 From Region 9 Mary Morrison, DTM Jeff Sobel, DTM Radhi Spear, DTM From Region 3 Tracy M. Thomason, DTM From Region 11 Linda Williams, DTM Maria Victoria Ferrer, DTM INTERNATIONAL FIRST Morag Mathieson, DTM PRESIDENT-ELECT VICE PRESIDENT Lark Doley, DTM Deepak Menon, DTM From Region 5 Don F. Bittick, DTM From Region 13 Grace Shih, DTM From Region 7 Derek Wong, DTM Reginald Darnell Ford, DTM

To review details of each officer and director nominee’s qu­ alifications, visit the SECOND SECOND Toastmasters International website at: VICE PRESIDENT VICE PRESIDENT www.toastmasters.org/officercandidates Karen Blake, DTM Richard Peck, DTM www.toastmasters.org/directorcandidates

It is the right and duty of all clubs to participate in the vote, either through their representatives at the convention or by proxy. If you are a­ ttending the Toastmasters International convention this August, you will have the opportunity to meet and talk with all the international officer and director candidates before the election. Additional nomina- tions for officers and directors may be made from the floor at the Annual Business Meeting.

26 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE Cast Your Vote for the Following Proposals

Make your voice heard.

The Board of Directors of Toastmasters International, at its March 2017 meeting, unanimously voted to present these amendments to the Bylaws of Toastmasters FOR International and Club Constitution in August at the 2017 Annual Business Meeting. Every Toastmasters club will have the opportunity to vote on these The Board of Directors proposed amendments. asks for your support and recommends that PROPOSAL A pay their dues online. The dues payment your club vote in favor Dues Payments: Methods would not be fully processed by Toast- masters International until the individual of the Proposals. In the development of the 2015 Strategic is verified electronically by a club officer. Plan, the Board identified the need to Through this verification process the club To view the full text of the expand and improve the use of technolo- officer certifies that the individual has proposed amendments to gy. An area of consistent challenge at the attended at least one meeting and has the Bylaws of Toastmasters club level is the payment of dues. Today, been admitted to membership by the club. International and Club members pay the club by check or debit A similar process would be conducted for or credit card. Once payment is received, renewing members. Membership applica- Constitution for Clubs the club officer submits it to Toastmas- tions and renewals would continue to be of Toastmasters ters International. To do so, they must accepted by regular mail. International, visit manually enter all personal and financial www.toastmasters.org/ information into Club Central. Many PROPOSED AMENDMENTS 2017Proposals. individuals are uncomfortable with this 1. Bylaws of Toastmasters International process because of the inherent security a. Article III: Membership, Sections 8 and privacy concerns. Furthermore, data and 12 entry by club officers often results in b. Article IV: Revenue, Section 2b Toastmasters calendar because of their ­inaccurate information. c. Article IV: Revenue, Section 2d academic calendar. Several members have The Board directed World Headquar- 2. Club Constitution for Clubs of suggested that a possible solution would ters to develop technology that will create Toastmasters International be to pay dues by anniversary date; howev- a simple and secure way for members to a. Article II: Membership, Section 2 er, that is only one possible solution. There submit payments directly to Toastmasters are many other alternatives to explore. International. Such technology should: PROPOSAL B Moving this provision from the Bylaws to policy enables the Board to determine þþ Improve the user experience Dues Payments: Timing the most appropriate solution and modify þþ Improve the accuracy of member data The Bylaws of Toastmasters International the calendar to the benefit of the mem- submitted þ require the club to pay individual dues by bers, clubs and districts. þ Reduce credit card data security risks April 1 and October 1 of each year. This The Board proposes amending the frequency of payments can be cumber- PROPOSED AMENDMENTS Bylaws of Toastmasters International and some for members, clubs and districts. In 1. Bylaws of Toastmasters International the Club Constitution to allow individual addition, some college and university clubs a. Article IV: Revenue, Section 2a members to submit their application and are challenged to pay dues on the current b. Ar ticle IV: Revenue, Section 2c

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 27 NEWS FROM TI

PROPOSAL C PROPOSAL E contested positions. It has also extended International Leadership International Director the length of the Annual Business Meet­ Committee Service Timeline Qualifications ing. The Board proposes that a candidate must receive 10% or more of the votes cast The International Leadership Committee Today, an Immediate Past District Direc­ to move to any subsequent ballot. The (ILC) begins its service on September 1 tor may stand for election as an interna­ provision that the candidate who receives of each year; however, most committee tional director candidate while serving the fewest votes on any ballot is dropped members attend the Toastmasters Inter­ their term. This negatively impacts the from any subsequent ballot would remain national Convention, creating an oppor­ districts by removing a valuable resource in effect. tunity for the chair to conduct orientation from the district leadership team. Suc­ and begin the committee’s work there. cessful completion of the Immediate Past PROPOSED AMENDMENTS Several past ILC chairs have recommend­ District Director can help an individual 1. Bylaws of Toastmasters International ed changing the committee’s start date develop and demonstrate the competen­ a. Article IX: Elections, Section 3 from September 1 to August. cies, skills and attributes necessary to be a successful Board member. PROPOSAL G PROPOSED AMENDMENTS The Board proposes that internation­ Honorary Club Membership 1. Bylaws of Toastmasters International al director candidate qualifications be a. Ar ticle VII: Committees, Section 3 strengthened to ensure that candidates Individual membership in a club is complete the Immediate Past District classified as active, inactive or honorary. PROPOSAL D Director term before standing for election. This classification is defined and further Floor Candidacy Prerequisites A candidate may submit their Letter of described in the Club Constitution, Article Intent while serving as an Immediate Past II, Sections 2, 4, 5, and 6. The intended The ILC was established to review, eval­ District Director. However, an Immedi­ purpose of the honorary membership uate and identify leadership development ate Past District Director would not be classification was to enable clubs to rec­ potential and opportunities throughout eligible to stand for election while serving ognize influential individuals within the the organization, and to nominate interna­ in that role. community or sponsoring organization. tional officer and director candidates each The individual’s membership dues are paid year for election at the August Annual PROPOSED AMENDMENTS by the club. Business Meeting. 1. Bylaws of Toastmasters International Over time, this intended purpose has The Board proposes that all candidates a. Ar ticle IX: Elections, Section 2 been misinterpreted and expanded by (including floor candidates) who stand for some clubs to include paying for individual election at an Annual Business Meeting PROPOSAL F members with the intention of increas­ must have been evaluated by the ILC in Minimum Vote Percentage ing the club’s membership count. Today, the same election cycle in which the can­ Toastmasters International only records didate stands for election. This allows the International officers and directors are whether a membership is paid. ILC to evaluate each individual’s potential elected by the membership each year The Board proposes that the Club and appropriateness for the role, which during the Annual Business Meeting. A Constitution be amended to clarify that ultimately informs the members’ voting candidate must receive a majority of the honorary memberships are a club-level decision; additionally, it provides poten­ votes cast to be elected to any position on function enabling clubs to continue to rec­ tial candidates with valuable insight into the Board of Directors. If a majority is not ognize individuals for their own purposes; expectations and the competencies, skills reached, a next ballot is conducted and however, these nonpaid memberships and attributes necessary to be a successful the candidate with the lowest vote on each would not count for any type of recogni­ Board member. ballot is dropped before proceeding to the tion program or award, nor would such next ballot. In 2015, the members voted to honorary members have any membership PROPOSED AMENDMENTS amend the Bylaws to expand the number privileges. 1. Bylaws of Toastmasters International of candidates who may be nominated by a. Ar ticle VIII: Nominations, Section 3 the International Leadership Commit­ PROPOSED AMENDMENTS tee (ILC) for Second Vice President and 1. Club Constitution for Clubs of international director. This has resulted in ­Toastmasters International an increase in the number of candidates a. Article II: Membership, Section 5 running for the Board and in the num­ b. Article II: Membership, Section 6 ber of ballots that must be cast for many

28 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE TOASTMASTERS TOOLBOX

The Leadership Track in Toastmasters It’s not all talk.

BY BILL BROWN, DTM

ention Toastmasters and someone’s learning. It still can, however, look like a Projects and Tasks Mfirst reaction may be, “Oh, that’s the daunting task. Ten projects … multiple Project 6 calls for us to help out with a key organization that helps you become a better tasks in each. Ouch! event, campaign or publication for our speaker.” Toastmasters, however, is a whole That is why I look at the manual as a club. The key phrase is help out. We don’t lot more. Not only does its program de- whole. When I do I see that I either need have to chair the project. That’s why it is velop speakers, it develops leaders as well. to do 19 meeting roles and three projects great for the new Toastmaster. I remember when I started. I received or 17 meeting roles and four projects, de- Would you rather be the project chair? two manuals in my New Member Kit so I pending on what I decide to do in Project Project 10 has you covered. This is an opened the one titled Competent Commu- 10. Since I am going to be serving in the optional project, but it is perfect if you’d nication and got to work. After all, I was various meeting roles anyway, I really only like to take on more responsibility. And one of those who joined to practice public have to do three or four additional tasks to if you are the project chair, you can have speaking. complete the manual. How simple is that? multiple helpers, all of whom can get About a month later, I opened the credit toward their CL designation. other manual—the Competent Leadership Project 9, like Project 6, is another (CL) manual. At first, it looked like a really relatively easy one. It involves mentor- complicated program. Wow. Ten projects. ing someone. That someone is typically a And each one had multiple projects within new member. The requirement is that you it. So I put it down for another month. mentor them through three projects, help- ing them write their speeches and learn On Second Glance the various meeting roles and protocols. When I picked it up again, I actually read Two other options exist, but those are it and was stunned by just how simple it usually selected by the more advanced seemed. The content was clearly some- Toastmaster. thing that was of value to me in my profes- Project 8 requires you to chair a mem- sion. A quick look at the table of contents bership or public relations project. Note, showed that, just like the Competent however, that this project addresses the Communication manual, this manual has motivation aspect of leadership. Going out 10 projects, and it outlines 10 different as- Meeting Roles and doing something on your own does pects of leadership. Each one is learned by Let’s look at the meeting roles first. I like not qualify. You must motivate others— reading the corresponding section in the how the manual gives choices on what and that requires a team. manual and performing a number of tasks, roles we want to perform in the club. For The CL manual is the foundation of most of which are meeting roles. example, in Project 1, four roles are listed the leadership track in Toastmasters. Do the meeting roles really serve to (Ah-Counter, Speech Evaluator, gram- It teaches the basic skills that you will help improve one’s leadership skills? If you marian and Table Topics speaker), but we employ as you advance in your profession asked me that question when I joined, I only have to do three of them. And we and assume leadership positions within would have answered no. But one month get to choose the three that we want to the club and district. into my Toastmasters membership, when I do. As you perform any one role, tell your Take it seriously—and you will reap the had only served as the timer, grammarian evaluator which project you want credit corresponding rewards. and Ah-Counter, I was shocked to realize applied toward, for instance Project 1, in that I was noticeably more confident. The this example. Read over the requirements Bill Brown, DTM, is a speech delivery system works! for your project beforehand to ensure you coach from Las Vegas and a member of The CL manual takes what is already cover the necessary criteria. Powerhouse Pros, which specializes in happening in the club and augments it Let’s now look at some individual observational humor. Learn more at with additional information to accelerate projects. www.billbrownspeechcoach.com.

TOASTMASTER | JUNE 2017 29 FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT

To the Class of 2017 Be bold, take risks, dream big. Who knows? Maybe it’ll work.

BY JOHN CADLEY

t’s graduation time. Millions of students university selection committee. What did the advice to Have Passion, for reasons Iare celebrating the completion of their he do wrong—smile too much? we really don’t need to go into. degrees—and millions of parents are send- It is for this reason that I’m throw- Another fail-safe admonition is any ing “Thank You” cards to their financial ing my hat into the ring. I may not be variation on the Be Yourself angle—e.g., advisors for keeping them out of bank- famous but I can absolutely guarantee Be True to Yourself, To Thine Own Self ruptcy court in the process. I’ve heard that a 100 percent controversy-free speech. Be True (quoting Shakespeare never fails some colleges actually have a roped-off This is because I have studied all the great to impress) or my personal favorite, Be the area on the commencement grounds commencement speeches since 1774, as Best Version of Yourself. This theme is where travel agents are standing by to help catalogued by America’s National Public near-universal in the great commencement Mom and Dad take their first vacation Radio (check them out at apps.npr.org/ speeches, and for good reason. It resonates in four years. Clap for the kid, take the commencement/), and I have taken care- instantly with an audience that is wonder- pictures, book the cruise. ful note of the common themes. These are ing just what they are going to be, and here But first comes the commencement proven, time-tested words of advice that is a respected authority figure telling them address, otherwise known as The Long cannot go wrong. it’s easy! Just be yourself! The implication is Goodbye. This time, however, it’s not that this is precisely how the successful per- about math or biology or history. It’s son on the podium got to be the successful about life—specifically, what the speaker I may not be famous person on the podium. But … is our distin- believes the graduates should do with but I can absolutely guished speaker being a tad disingenuous? each of theirs as they move on to “the next Did he or she really scale the heights of suc- chapter” (which, by the way, is titled “How guarantee a 100 cess without compromising any personal to Make Your First Student Loan Pay- percent controversy- principles, ideals, ethics or values along the ment”). It’s a hard gig. The speaker must way? Better to say, “Don’t sacrifice your val- stand before a large audience of young free speech. ues. Just bend, twist and distort them until people who are waiting to party their faces you get enough money and power to tell off … and talk for 15 minutes about the Topping the list is Don’t Be Afraid to everyone to go take a flying leap. Then you meaning of life. This is why commence- Fail. This always gets a round of applause can afford to be yourself.” But then again, ment speakers are chosen with such care. because that’s exactly what everyone in the why bother young minds with confusing They must be successful and interesting, audience is afraid of, including the parents, details? And Be Yourself—When You Can but not controversial. The last thing you who didn’t shell out a hundred grand to Afford It doesn’t have quite the same ring. want on graduation day is for the student produce a failure. Giving the grads per- If this doesn’t convince a university body to rise up en masse shouting “war mission to fail is like saying: “Don’t worry. to hire me, I can recommend one other criminal!” at the person behind the dais. If you don’t get a job you can move back proven alternative: Kermit the Frog. Ker- This is not what the grandparents came home”—a reassuring message, to be sure. mit gave the commencement address at up from Florida for. Schools compile lists Another related theme is Take Risks. Safe Southampton College in 1996. The theme of potential speakers and often invite the to say, the young men and women in the was: Be a Leader—Not a Puppet. T students to comment during the selec- audience have, throughout their four years tion process, so as to avoid any unpleasant away from home, taken more risks than John Cadley, a former advertising copy- scenarios like the one above. Still, there their parents would care to know about. writer, is a freelance writer and musician is never complete agreement. Even the So this is a concept with which the gradu- living in Fayetteville, New York. Learn Dali Lama got some thumbs down from a ates are thoroughly familiar. Likewise with more at www.cadleys.com.

30 WHERE LEADERS ARE MADE ILLUSTRATION BY BART BROWNE

“The International Convention is a magical place where you will be enlightened, empowered and enriched! It opened my eyes to how international this organization is, and that is why I keep coming back every year.”

_ Kelly Guo, DTM, District 89, District Director

Register now, the Early Bird discount ends July 3. www.toastmasters.org/Convention