HONI SOIT VOL 90 SEM 2 WEEK 1 ANALYSIS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY USYD commits to no direct use of My Health Record We acknowledge the traditional custodians of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. The University of Sydney – where we write, publish and distribute Honi Soit – is on the sovereign land of these people. As students and journalists, we recognise our complicity in the ongoing colonisation of Indigenous land. In recognition of Andrew Rickert reports. our privilege, we vow to not only include, but to prioritise and centre the experiences of Indigenous people, and to be reflective when we fail to. We recognise our duty to be a counterpoint to the racism that plagues the mainstream media, and to adequately represent the perspectives of Indigenous students at our University. We also A spokesperson for the University of Sydney has Honi understands that this means the University the backing of all of Australia’s peak health bodies, wholeheartedly thank our Indigenous reporters for the continuing contribution of their labour to our learning. indicated to Honi Soit that the University will not be will not make any blanket applications for research including the Australian Medical Association, the directly applying for access to health data stored as access. But individual researchers at USyd may apply Royal College of Australian GPs, the Pharmacy Guild part of the centralised My Health Record program. for access: “We are committed to conducting and of Australia and others.” A piece by two Health scholars EDITORIAL CONTENTS My Health Record is a government initiative supporting research to improve health outcomes for in The Conversation explains how the program will When I was a kid, I remember being happy. In the soft hazy glow of childhood, I’m that seeks to create a centralised healthcare file Australian and global citizens. As such, our researchers save the industry $300 million over three years, cocooned in a blanket of my own dreams, ever wishing that I could make them for all Australian citizens. It is designed so health may apply for access to the data, which would be de- and that accepting the status quo of decentralised my reality. 3 NEWS practitioners can easily review all of a patient’s medical identified. recordkeeping has its own risks. 7 FEATURE history, and will store records of your “allergies, “[These] researchers would act within the guidelines Then you grow up, and you realise contentment isn’t as easy as they make it seem. medical conditions, previous or current medication, provided by government when applying for access.” “It would be safe to assume The harder you hope, the more dissatisfied with the ordinary you become, all 10 TEA test results and anything else that is uploaded by your The ‘secondary use’ framework notes that identified the while desperate to shake off that feeling. The greater you yearn, the more doctor”. The information will be stored until 30 years data may be shared “with the consent of the healthcare that some attack is going to defeating it feels. 13 POP CULTURE after a patient’s death. recipient”. The ABC reports that “currently, users of the be successful...There will platform can tick a box on the web portal to opt out of be some data loss. That is Often, our pursuits of meaning, or fulfillment, or a better reality are our only 20 CREATIVE There are concerns about the secondary use”. sources of satisfaction and purpose. Some people turn to vice, others are lucky The spokesperson confirmed to Honi that inevitable.” enough to immerse themselves in a passion they find rewarding. possible circulation of data the University would not use any identified data on patients with stigmatised “for services such as Disability Services, Special Meanwhile, criticisms of the program have been In this edition, I wanted to chronicle the stories of what people love, and where THANKS TO Consideration requests, or other similar uses”. far-reaching. There are concerns about the possible Editor-in-Chief they go in their world to escape from real life. conditions or in vulnerable “Further, for students who utilise the University circulation of data on patients with stigmatised Alison Xiao communities. Health Service (UHS), My Health Record information conditions or in vulnerable communities. Further, the Some embark on extended periods of travel, breaking from reality to ‘find is only accessible within UHS. If a student and client Queensland Police Union has warned its members that Editors themselves’; some venture up and down George Street to round-up the bubble of the UHS requires information to be shared with police will have extensive access, and privacy experts Elijah Abraham, Liam Donohoe, Janek Drevikovsky, Nick Harriott, Lamya Rahman, tea phenomenon that has hit Sydney; some pen lyrical odes to the swimming pool, The bulk data from the system will be made available the special consideration or disability services teams, have criticised the principle of centralised records Andrew Rickert, Millie Roberts, Zoe Stojanovic-Hill, Lena Wang others gush over metro systems, and still others mourn the loss of a cherished in an aggregated and anonymised form for ‘secondary separate documentation is required.” altogether. Ralph Holz, an expert in cybersecurity institution (check out page 12 if you’re a WellCo tragic). use’, including research, policy, and planning. These The My Health Record program has been assigned at USyd, told The Guardian that My Health Record’s Contributors uses are governed by a framework released by the to the newly created Australian Digital Health Agency centralisation could be a security issue. Serena Adamedes, Raz Badiyan, Theo Delaney, Pola Fanous, Shon Ho, Pranay Jha, As a new semester dawns, at the place where we all ultimately want to escape Department of Health. The framework notes that the (ADHA). Honorary Associate Professor Meredith “It would be safe to assume that some attack is Jacinta Keast, Jeffrey Khoo, Tasia Kuznichenko, Lily Langman, Karishma Luthria, from, one author reflect on the steps we take to deal with our final, bittersweet first release of such data is expected to occur in 2020. Makeham, part of USyd’s $13 million Research in going to be successful. [...] There will be some data Katherine O’Chee, Brendan James O’Shea, Stephanie Paglia, Chantelle Yeung departure from university. The University spokesperson told Honi that “at this Implementation Science and eHealth (RISe) Group, is loss. That is inevitable.” Australians have until 15 stage, we do not intend to apply for ‘secondary use’ Chief Medical Advisor to the ADHA. October to opt-out of the scheme, which can be done Artists And what better bubble than entertainment, to use as an escape from a real life access.” The Guardian reports that “My Health Record has at myhealthrecord.gov.au. Deepa Alam, Natalie Ang, Theo Delaney, Robin Eames, Aviva Green, Victor Lee, that has no appeal. From internet conspiracies to the BTS fandom, Doctor Who to Rebekah Mazzacato, Momoko Metham, Eloise Myatt, Brendan James O’Shea reality TV, you’ll pass the time without ever having to despair about your degree. Mathew Philip, Jess Zlotnick Ultimately, there is an undeniable comfort in letting be. Try as you might to shape Debate over content in women’s-only support group Cover your life, or an edition of Honi, our lives unfold according to a kind of serendipity, Emma Harbridge, Aviva Green, Alison Xiao which no perfectionism or planning can control. AX Tasia Kuznichenko questions if an online support group is serving its purpose. CW: SEXUAL ASSAULT

Proofreaders A few months ago, a friend added me to a women-only in the group have had and if I find out something has These problems appear to stem from a lack of Shivani Sankaran Facebook group, where women in Sydney could share happened in an area I regularly frequent it just makes shared standards and guidelines as to what measures stories of unsettling and sometimes threatening en- me feel afraid.” will actually be helpful for women. counters with men in public spaces. Additionally, some posts use markers of national- For instance, not all members are happy that ‘name The group, which will remain unnamed for the ity or race, such as being “dark-skinned” or “Lebanese and shame’ posts are banned in the group due to fear protection of its members, welcomes all people who looking,” to identify an offender, instead of describing of defamation. A ‘name and shame’ post identifies an identify as female, including “trans/non-binary them by clothing or accessories. Many consider this a offender who has previously harassed or assaulted a IN [people] and anyone femme-identifying.” form of racial profiling. woman and warns members of the dangers associated It was created earlier this year after the with the individual. CASE disappearance and murder of Qi Yu, and the rape The women in the group— “I feel silenced,” Jessica says. “The group identified a and murder of Eurydice Dixon. Initially, the group person who had assaulted a large number of people in YOU functioned as an online space where women could including myself—need the group alone. post seeking help or assistance in getting out of a to decide how the group “The post was later taken down… due to fear of lit- MISSED dangerous situation. Members were encouraged to igation I think what we should fear is not litigation or have notifications turned on for all posts, to maximise should be used, whether as a backlash but other people being at risk of… a serial of- IT the utility of the group. But as the group gained more supportive space for women fender.” members, its purpose quickly shifted from a responsive Although defamation laws in Australia are strict, “the platform to an advisory one. or as a preventative tool likelihood of someone bringing a defamatory cause of Madeline Ward, Co-Wom*n’s Officer at USyd’s to warn others of potential action against someone is incredibly rare, and the suc- SRC, and a member of the Facebook group, tells me cess of one, even less so,” she tells me. a lot of members prefer to write ‘caution posts’ over dangers. As the group is online-based, it’s difficult to defin- ?>> ‘Stop the Asian Invasion’: racist graffiti appears on campus going to the police. These are posts that alert others itively rule out the possibility that posts by members of unsafe situations and/or areas, “a good community Madeline decided to post in the group to raise the would not be at risk of a defamation suit. alternative to policing,” Ward says. issue that racial profiling perpetuates people of colour The women in the group—including myself—need ?>> USyd emails fall into mass phishing scam Caution posts have catalysed the creation of a being perceived as aggressive and a ‘threat.’ to decide how the group should be used, whether as a support network for women who have had unsafe “When people post things like ‘a Lebanese man in supportive space for women or as a preventative tool ?>> Chancellor rejects Howard’s commentary on Ramsay Centre experiences in public, with other members often a green shirt’… what does a Lebanese person actually to warn others of potential dangers. But until the group commenting to offer support or share advice. look like?” stops replicating the racial and social tensions already ?>> USYD settles in legal claim with former Deputy Vice-Chancellor Jessica*, a member who posted a warning about an Similar accusations of racial and class profiling oc- existent in our society, this goal will never be realised. individual she met on Tinder, says, “the group dreams curred earlier this year in Plan International Austral- of fostering...a culture of solidarity amongst women ia’s interactive ‘Street Safety Map,’ which was designed The moderators of the group rejected an interview WE PROMISE WE WON’T SEND YOU SPAM. GOT A BONE TO PICK? SEND US A LETTER TO [email protected] themselves.” as a tool for women to add and collect data on street and declined to comment. They said they are refraining The issue with these caution posts is the impact harassment in Sydney. The most “unsafe” areas were from publicity until they establish clearer guidelines. they have on the women reading them. overwhelmingly located in the Western suburbs, with Disclaimer: Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney NSW 2006. The SRC’s operation “I wouldn’t say I feel safer,” another member of the many people from those areas feeling as if this repre- *Names have been changed costs, space and administrative support are financed by Sydney University SSAF. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s directors of student publications: Vincent Wang, Charlotte group, Rita* tells me. sented popular stereotypes, rather than actual threats Hounton, Rebeccah Miller, Alexi Cassis, Sarah Cutter-Russell and Chanum Torres. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless “I get triggered by experiences that different women of danger. specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Please direct all advertising inquiries to [email protected]. - 3 - OPINION OPINION Vintage clothes: The secondhand stitch-up Why the Northwest Metro will be shit Liam Donohoe problematises those jeans you got from the Glebe markets. Elijah Abraham, transit nerd in residence, fires a scathing broadside at Sydney’s latest public transport project.

Vintage clothes are somewhat of a often hipster in appearance, they have preying across a wide plane to keep certainly no prophet—anyone could do Hardcore transit enthusiasts and weary This is in contrast to the rest of times at stations. To achieve this, the and the M2, the primary motorway to university uniform. Whether worn by been known to mutate into full-bridled their stock’s standards high. Less well- what they do, and many have dismissed Hills commuters have no doubt been Sydney Trains, which operates as a Northwest Metro will use single-deck, the city servicing the area, is heavily the spacey ket-head that shows up to anti-consumerist, irony-insensitive off customers are therefore not just left their business model out of moral keeping informed of the Sydney Metro commuter rail system. Both are noble driverless trains with longitudinal congested. the occasional tute, the flower-crowned hippies, especially as festivals draw nigh. with less, they’re left with worse trepidation. The sartor creates nothing Northwest Project. At 13 stations, systems, but each serves a different seating and three doors on each car. There’s an argument to be made doofer at the vegan BBQ, or a jaded, third- Their survival mechanism is simple: raid A cruel form of double jeopardy befalls of tangible value, exposes themselves to 23 kilometres and $8.3 billion, the purpose. Commuter rail is designed to get that making other, closer employment year private school alumni, universities op-shops, purchase clothes most likely the marginalised who have a preference limited risk, and exploits good intentions. Northwest Metro is set to be New Rapid transit is completely grade passengers typically from outer suburbs centres more accessible is necessary have the critical mass of subcultures and to fetch a higher price amongst the for these clothes. That’s because when Though this may seem indistinguishable South Wales’ largest ever infrastructure separated, meaning it doesn’t share to the CBD, with comfort and safety to combat urban sprawl. But to get ethically self-conscious people to make wealthy hipsters, accumulate profit. the sartor resells these clothes they do from many of our society’s most credible project. a route with any other vehicle type. as priorities. Sydney’s current double- commuters out of cars and onto the vintage clothing a vogue in themselves. so at an exclusionary price. Sartors need profit-generating enterprises, like Connecting the Hills Shire, an Commuter rail systems such as Sydney decker fleet, and their sometimes- rails, the absolute best solution is In fact, so captive is the USyd market In securing the best only look in the mirror to know the types finance, such a resemblance may in area hitherto serviced only by buses, Trains splits routes between intercity, chirpy drivers, do just that. an express rail to the city—which is that every second wednesday, Eastern of clothing their clientele desire, and so fact offer cause for reconsidering our to Sydney’s wider rail network, the express and local trains, as well as While the metro does guarantee important for connecting the Hills to all Avenue becomes an agora of the antique; inventory, the sartor get stock with high levels of inelastic intuitions on that practice, too. Northwest Metro will completely freight trains and a dwindling number faster connections to major employment of wider Sydney. a wardrobe of the worn. But while these takes away clothing demand. From the affluent hipster’s But if undeserved and unfair sources revolutionise the public transport of level crossings shared with cars. centres such as Macquarie Park, The metro isn’t the right answer for supply and demand functions may be perspective, going vintage is a tempting of profit are necessary constituents network in Sydney. Bypassing the bottleneck of different Chatswood and North Sydney, as an all- the Northwest, but because it’s slightly motivated by good intentions, vintage intended for the less proposition. The buyer secures the of a late capitalist Ponzi scheme, then Beneath the facade of world class trains travelling in the same direction stops service, it only mildly improves better than the system in place, people clothes are often sourced through well-off social capital, brand recognition, and so too is appropriation. When wealthy travel frequencies and admittedly cool means that the metro trains can run at travel times between the Hills and the will accept it. processes that are far from innocuous. aesthetic improvements associated people buy vintage clothing, they mute tunnel-boring videos is a transport higher frequencies than the commuter Sydney CBD. Australians have long been Now I must confess that I am The sartor exploitus comes in many with the material configuration of one of the most visible markers of their project deeply wrong for the area it rail network is currently capable of. Rapid transit systems are clearly conditioned into tolerating compromise certainly not immune to the charms forms. Sometimes they sneak about the item cheaper than they would if advantage—their physical presentation. purports to service. Rapid transit is designed for quick effective, however, is a metro system an with their public transport. of the enterprising garb hawker—who as retail outlets. But more often, they the same item was bought at Urban They obscure themselves in the mass, The Northwest Metro is a rapid passenger loading and unloading, with appropriate solution for the Northwest? In a better reality, a metro could could possibly say no to a bootlegged materialize at communal markets, Outfitters. As such, the items sit inan fading into commonality just as their transit system. faster acceleration The area, while growing, is not yet work in Sydney, in a large enough commemoration of Rage Against the the type ostensibly designed for awkward superposition between the new (or, newish) Levis do ‘round the and decreased densely populated. It has a strong radius of the CBD. This would mean that Machine 2008 Australasian tour for just cheap exchange and to give budding bourgeoisie exclusivity of new Ralph knee creases. When the less well- dwell car culture commuter rail outside that radius, from $5? And it’s certainly true that buying fashionistas a platform to sell their Lauren merchandise and the mass off can’t access these clothes, while places like the Hills and even Penrith vintage clothing is often preferable to designs, like the Glebe and Newtown affordability of the fading Vinnies, in any the wealthy can, their tastes have not and Campbelltown, could be faster entering the fast fashion market, ever- markets. Whether what the sartor does case collapsing to a state that locks out only been stolen, but repackaged into and much more frequent. so-slightly reducing the demand that is consistent with the spirit of such the less well-off. a bourgeois sensibility; moderated, What’s sadder is how more and commissions inexpensive, disposable exchanges is questionable. alienated, gentrified. more out of reach that is. clothes made in slave labour conditions, In securing the best inventory, the When the wealthy buy Of course, sartor’s predation is while instead recycling those otherwise sartor necessarily takes away clothing underscored by the same capitalist Artwork by headed to landfill. Suffice to say, there’s intended for the less well-off. These vintage clothing...they pressures as anyone else. As such, their Theo Delaney nothing inherently wrong with vintage are people who rely on the below- obscure themselves in activities do not definitively prove a clothing; it’s often comparatively market, low-margin generosity of a flawed moral character. But while a virtuous. But despite this general truth, not-for-profit to clothe themselves, and the mass boycott alone is unlikely to do anything there is one particular genre of vintage who would otherwise have bought the to help, asking the same questions of cloth vendor that concerns me and this sartors’ harvest. The clothes obtained The difference between the price vintage clothes and their origins as you article: the sartor exploitus. by the sartor are often the most coveted charged by the charity and the price would fast fashion may help expose the The sartor exploitus is one of those and so, in a sense, the ‘best’. The sartors charged by the sartor is roughly equal to sartors’ camouflage. Only then, can we pesky parasites that thrives in areas with target the highest quality, the coolest, the value of exclusion. It is also termed return them to the zoo from whence It’s time for some poositivity a mid-to-late Capitalist climate. Though and the least worn among the lot, profit. But the sartor themselves is they came. Pranay Jha has something to dump on you.

There’s been many a time in my life, this mammoth in for the past 20 minutes, feel in those moments. There is, perhaps, morning. where I have had to make the guilty and it’s not going to leave me without a no greater solidarity than the shared Overwhelmingly though, it feels like Pigeons: Fresh rats of the belle air walk from the seats in the law library loud fight. I decide to do a test run, giving experience of dropping an embarrassing I am fighting a losing battle. The most to the toilets. Despite some intense a little push. It goes horribly, horribly shit with your comrade. You’ve finally common response is one of disgust, Serena Adamedes pens an ode to an overlooked and underrated species. buttock clenching, I often have to walk wrong. An abortive fart—embarrassingly exposed yourself to someone else in an insistence that we should all feel awkwardly as my poo begins to turtle impotent. And then, every toilet-goer’s your truest and most instinctive form, shame over something that most In recent years, the humble Aussie bin mouths, the disease-spreading vermin rare faculty—the ability to recognise ‘Progressive Father of the Year’. This out. I shrink under the glares of wanky worst nightmare: splash back. At that free from the pretences of our grand (healthy) humans do once or twice a chook—the ibis—has been elevated to that scuttle between our legs while we themselves in a mirror. Self-awareness is is because the male pigeon begins to law students, who’ve probably never moment I know I am in here for the long social charade. It’s a daunting experience day. This is something we should hide, celebrity status, glorified for its dietary rush through the city. This is the harsh an accomplishment not even all humans lactate. It is an unusual talent for two taken a poo break in their life. haul; this poo will take some serious but an undeniably rewarding one. But if the consensus seems to be. And indeed, choice of garbage and its unnerving, reputation our peaceful city slickers can boast. But their intelligence doesn’t reasons; firstly, it is usually the female But the anxiety doesn’t manoeuvring. that’s the case, why do I hang my head in some Japanese toilets, users have scaled beak. It has amassed Facebook must face—a reputation not only riddled stop there. These feathered geniuses of a species that takes responsibility for stop once I’ve reached I begin to realise that I’ve been in here in shame as I exit the toilet, weighed the option to play loud, pre-recorded pages and documentaries in its honour, with falsities, but also blatantly unfair. can differentiate letters of the alphabet producing milk and secondly, lactation is the toilets. Once I for a while, and my friends are likely down by the disapproving stares of my sounds to drown out their shitting but it is not the only bird around campus. These winged angels are more than and can distinguish gibberish, made an ability typically found in in mammals find the only toilet not going to start questioning whether I friends? experience. In the wake of ibis fever, the gentle pigeon just poop machines tarnishing the up of these letters, from real words. It alone. Yet, the first ten days of a new covered in shit, the am merely “taking a piss”. Just as I start But the poo positivity movement is has been neglected. Not only that: in the facade of our glorious quadrangle. seems pigeons are only one small head pigeon’s life are spent nourished by the real test begins. I’ve formulating an excuse, the dynamic There is, perhaps, important. Beyond the clear benefit past, these timid creatures have even At the peak of their reputation, at bob away from joining the world of the milk of both its mother and its father. been holding changes—utterly. The door next to me of ending unnecessary shame, there been forced out of their own homes by the close of World War II, pigeons were literate. These progressive parents are working slams shut and I hear someone sitting no greater solidarity are real possibilities for policy: for University management. Shame. In 2011, lauded for “conspicuous gallantry”. But towards eradicating sexism in domestic down on the seat. The stakes just got a than the shared instance, with a more open attitude to the winged residents of the SCA campus since then, these beady-eyed critters These winged angels relationships. million times higher. For the first few this basic bodily function, we might be were baited and poisoned in an effort to have experienced a fall from grace. There is a lot we can learn from the minutes both of us play it conservative, experience of more willing to improve the ungodly cleanse the College. But now in 2018, it’s For this, the pigeons are blameless. It are more than just underrated pigeon. And so, we must faintly farting and gently plopping— dropping an state of most public bathrooms or offer time to appreciate the pigeon for is, instead, humanity’s growing lack poop machines endeavour to change the reputation of testing each other’s boundaries. If better healthcare to people with bowel all their worth. of tolerance towards nature that has these misunderstood creatures. we’re feeling daring, we may embarrassing shit problems. As someone with Crohn’s They are the rats of created this new image of the pigeon. What’s more, these winged prodigies So, next time you see one of these even tease each other with a disease, that is certainly a world I aspire the sky; the feathered These humble citizens of the sky boast a remarkably progressive attitude. feathered friends roosting on the more audible release of gas. Because we live in a poo negative to live in. Naturally, the poo positivity vacuum cleaners that are modest in their attire. Only their If, after a wonderful night of passion and suitcase sculpture in Manning, don’t Eventually however—around world, where we free shitters become movement faces problems: gender peck up our crumbs iridescent collars, which gleam through mutual pleasure, a young female pigeon turn away in disgust, instead tip your hat the seven minute mark—we social pariahs. I’ve tried to break the norms, for instance, make it far easier as they fall leaden feathers, hint at their true discovers that she is with child, you and offer a “m’lady” to one of the finest both get our sweet release, as one cycle before, tagging my friends in poo for men to embrace their poo, while from our majesty. True restraint—unlike their won’t find the male pigeon running off members of the avian kingdom. Because of us lets out a bellowing fart memes or sending them snapchats tropes of femininity pressure women to colourful cousins, the peacock and the and hiding in some deserted part of the if we can learn to appreciate the Aussie followed by an aggressive heaving from the toilet. I’ve managed to recruit be poo negative. But for the movement toucan, who holler for attention with park. No, he will instead stay, sharing the bin chicken, then we can grow to love the of the toilet paper roll. From that a few friends into the poo positivity to overcome these issues, it must first garish displays of plumage. responsibility of incubation equally with softly-spoken, jewel-collared pigeon. point on, it’s an absolute fucking free- movement, and it was a proud moment exist. When we start recognising and They are also a bird of many talents. his partner. for-all. when a formerly poo negative mate celebrating the fact that we all poo, our Within the animal kingdom, they are However, it is the male’s actions after It’s difficult to put into words the joy I started speaking openly about the digestive systems go from being our part of an elite group, who possess a the eggs hatching that truly makes him double-flusher they had dropped that achilles heel to our greatest strengths. Artwork by Mathew Phillip Artwork by Natalie Ang - 4 - - 5 - PERSPECTIVE Grunting up against masculinity Karishma Luthria questions manhood’s throaty, vocal expression. Not all who

Something that highlights the difference between men see ourselves doing consciously or subconsciously It gets trickier in situations where the body is and women even more than partisan politics is often while exerting force, and that’s because of societal pushed to the limit, such as the mocked noises from how they’re depicted. Sensory synecdoches such as expectations of women. star tennis players at grand slam tournaments. Quan grunting, a sound commonly heard at gyms, during sex Michigan Institute of Technology Professor Shigeru Tran, an instructor at Fitness Playground in Surry Hills, or in action sequences come from men, and rarely Miyagawa’s 2015 research finds that grunts or non- says “grunting is basically trying to get exertion out of wander anyone else. linguistic sounds were not something human ancestors your body”. He’s noticed that grunts are more common used as a form of communication. Rather, there was at powerlifting gyms, but “if you’re grunting that much “If you’re grunting that much another system that developed language as we know you’re probably not lifting right.” it today. For the sound of grunting to be distracting, you’re probably not lifting Research from Rockerfeller University suggests that regardless of context, it must take up some aural space, for the vervet monkey, different grunts communicate just as ‘manspreading’ takes up physical room—both are are wander-lost right.” specific needs, depending on the situation, the body, ways to express how we occupy our bodies, according Take, for example, generic superhero films. In and their pitch. The same can be said about other to Sharkey. It’s a noise of force. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice’s showdown, Ben aspects of human life. Sharkey says “I think that it’s a combination of two Affleck’s Batman painfully grunts six times. Superman: Sophie* used to be a full time sex worker but changed things: men are grunting in those spaces in part to four grunts. Female superheroes, in comparison, are her line of work to erotic massage parlours, sometime perform a certain kind of masculinity… and women often far more quiet. Throughout the DC franchises, last year. Reflecting on her time in the industry, she don’t because it’s an unfeminine thing to do.” Wonder Woman lacks the verbal exertions of her says that “the closer a guy is to orgasm, the more male counterparts, bar one battle in her namesake they will grunt, and become much more vocal.” While “[T]he closer a guy is to blockbuster where she also grunts four times as she it is hard to pin exact figures, Sophie believes that 90 slices through her enemies. Marvel’s Black Widow, on percent of the 300 clients she’d spoken to since 2017 orgasm, the more they will the other hand, remains strong but silent in her fight grunted during sex. grunt, and become much more scenes. One reason for this, as Dr. Bruce Isaacs, a When clients hold her from behind, simulating sex as Professor of Film Studies at the University of Sydney she leans on the massage table, they grunt a lot more. vocal.” believes, is that not all superheros are created equal. “I think a lot of it has to do with... asserting dominance, While entertainment companies are slowly variating because you don’t get it from women,” Sophie observes. Grunting is both a natural phenomenon, and a representations of minorities, archaic signposts of However, the opposite stands true when her male socialised expectation that works to favour some gender traditions remain the same “Hollywood is a clients don’t feel in control: “When you have a man laid groups over others. It is an aural expression of control, patriarchal institution, it always has been,” Dr. Isaacs down, facing upwards, it doesn’t seem to happen as yet also release. Despite its paradoxical nature, reflects. much... I’m standing up and they know they’re not in a grunting shouldn’t necessarily be gendered. Perhaps “The grunt thing seems to me to have a connotation power position at that point.” the essential nature of what it is to be a woman needs of something animalistic or primitive and “it’s Grace Sharkey, a lecturer on Bodies, Sexualities and another update wherein we are depicted like real definitely more common to have the idea of strength Identities at the University of Sydney, agrees. “It’s safe humans, with real lungs rather than benchmarks for and violence associated with men,” he says. to say that men are considered to be more dominating the ideal damsel. And maybe men don’t always need To further understand the primitive roots of in relationships than women”, and expanding thought to be shown as muscular machos who have it all when grunting, USyd linguistics professor Nick Enfield into general existence, points to feminist theory that they’re exerting some force. Yet, for those out of the says the noise is associated with larger animals, since stipulates “men have power over women even if they heteronormative bubble, depictions are a whole other “you couldn’t really say a kitten grunted.” He says that want it or don’t want it, or know they have it”. discussion altogether. grunting is made possible by a combination of having Similarly, men and women are socialised in different *Name has been changed. lungs and a large body. So women with larger bodies ways, and “men grunt more than women not so much grunt too, but perhaps the reason women don’t grunt because men have to but because women are told not as often is because it’s just something that we don’t to.” How to survive your last semester of uni Fifth year Stephanie Paglia stares into the face of the graduate abyss.

For students like me, nearing the end of a university stint that felt less like a coming-of-age and more like a fever dream, the upcoming semester brings with it a sweet tinge of sentimentality and a not-so-gentle nudge into the future. The prospect of entering that mythological ‘real world’ is a daunting and terrifying exercise; a reality-crushing and life-altering transition that has come much too fast and all too soon. On the brightside, this last semester could bring a new beginning, marked by the unshackling of deadlines and due dates. New year, new look, new you. With the end nigh, here’s some helpful advice for your last hurrah crafted from the minds of Jacinta Keast asks whether travel those who’ve come before us and survived to tell the tale. can ever really fulfill us. 1. ‘Get your education’ 2. ‘Let it go’ 3. Crack open a cold one This semester is your last chance to save your final Anxious? Nervous as hell about these last few months? Last of all, avoid the biggest regret of all and take the mark. The imminent ringing of graduation bells has Me too, wtf! We all are, some of us just hide it better time to appreciate what you’ve achieved. Completing been a huge wake up call, for me at least, to stop taking than others. It’s far healthier to acknowledge the a degree is no easy feat, but you’re on your way to my degree for granted. Regrettable days spent skipping feelings about this odd, liminal time in your life than ticking off a huge life achievement. Get together with lectures and getting by listening to the recordings the to keep it in. the people who’ve helped you along the way. Celebrate day before an exam aren’t reversible, but there’s still There’s a good chance you’re regretting not getting life a little bit, but don’t get gloomy. Revel in the work time left to do it a different way. Make like a first year round to things while you had the chance, but remind you’ve produced over the years. The end of being a and be uncomfortably ready. Do the readings, find yourself that it’s not possible to do everything, and jaded fifth year university student is also the dawn of a that lost motivation from three years ago; if you ever that’s okay! These opportunities don’t expire once new era—filled with a breadth of possibilities of other wanted to know what it feels like to hand in an essay on classes are over. They’re reminders of your passions hackneyed stereotypes to become. time, now’s your chance! Then again, it wouldn’t be a that exist outside the university campus and can be fitting student reflection if it wasn’t written at the very explored in new and exciting ways post graduation. It’s last minute in our final semester, right?! important to remember you’re in control and free to go in whatever direction you’d like. If you still need more time in the bubble, there’s always postgrad!

Artwork by Robin Eames

- 6 - -7 - FEATURE FEATURE

“ESCAPE THROUGH TRAVEL WORKS. ALMOST FROM THE Penh or Auschwitz in Poland. at least for the short term. And like And yet, Australia’s treatment of Indigenous people and asylum Lachlan, they could point to clear MOMENT I BOARDED MY FLIGHT, LIFE IN ENGLAND BECAME seekers doesn’t elicit the same reaction. reasons for that choice. Chloe, for Sadly, many assume that the social and cultural history of this example, wants to continue living MEANINGLESS. SEAT-BELT SIGNS LIT UP, PROBLEMS SWITCHED country is too pedestrian to even start to learn about. abroad simply because she likes OFF. BROKEN ARMRESTS TOOK PRECEDENCE OVER BROKEN living in a big city with many *** regional connections. HEARTS. BY THE TIME THE PLANE WAS AIRBORNE I’D “Ultimately, Australia can Our society awards social and cultural capital to those with feel a bit isolated,” she says. “It’s FORGOTTEN ENGLAND EVEN EXISTED” extensive international experience, which means that those who multicultural but…our attitude – ALEX GARLAND, THE BEACH cannot afford to travel are deemed less worldly. towards immigration and race It is frightening to think that travel—and, thus, income issues isn’t generally very positive. and wealth—can have an impact on your career So I don’t see it being as globally Twice a year, I find myself witnessing Group of Eight uni students going abroad. *** prospects. A major study by international welcoming a place as other Their wanderings are well-documented on Instagram: the European summer spent education academic Davina Potts found that countries” picnicking in the Jardin des Tuileries or aboard a Sail Croatia yacht; the pre-exchange When you think of ‘finding yourself’ through travel, you hear almost half of graduates who had studied Likewise, Tennison is reluctant to Great American Roadtrip; the ski trip to Niseko; and the obligatory working holiday. the word ‘travel’ and think the process will be fun. But personal abroad rated ‘international experience’ as very return to Australia because the tolerant It seems like they’re ‘doing’ a new country every few days. growth often emerges from adversity. important to their future employers. attitudes abroad are different from many attitudes back In an age of mass travel, going overseas is a rite of passage for many recent “There is no pleasure in traveling, and I look upon it more as an When I mention this, Tennison laughs. home in Queensland. graduates or uni students on holidays. Travelling everywhere and often is standard occasion for spiritual testing,” wrote French philosopher Albert “I’ve known people who have lived in twelve countries who “In Europe, I’ve kissed girls in restaurants, shimmied through the for our generation—as long as you, or your parents, have the privilege to fund it. Camus. Far from having a good time, Camus says, we should were no more insightful than those who had never lived anywhere town in almost nothing after a big night out, and expressed outrageous A lot of people I’ve met, including some of my friends, see travelling as a nomadic have a challenging experience. but the tiny town they were born in during Franco-era Spain!” feminist ideas to every woman within earshot,” she tells me. experience that provides you with a valuable opportunity to ‘find yourself’. And as American philosopher Susan Neiman noted in She says that travelling can have a limited impact on personal That said, Chloe or Tennison hesitate when I ask them if they’ve left Australia What is ‘finding yourself’, apart from a phrase that is likely to appear in a self-help Why Grow Up, “You do not know how far your standing— growth when, as visitors or immigrants, we continue to interact with for good. It seems the pull of home is just that strong. But even if a one-time expat book or a 15 step WikiHow article? Of course, it’s a bit of an ambiguous term. But in your success at school or work, your place in a family people of the same background. does move back home, their time abroad can be measurably useful, and not just for this context it refers to the idea that the authentic you will only come out abroad, town—keeps you grounded until you give it up.” “When you’ve lived abroad for a while, you’re almost always providing intangibles like ‘self-discovery’. Expats can evaluate Australia—its society, when your true interests and passions suddenly make themselves known. It rests Margery, a law student, swapped contracts meeting these middle class people. You don’t get the mind opening its institutions, its cities—against global standards. on the assumption that the real you is different from the you that sits through the textbooks for café menus and moved to London last experience of cross-cultural sharing you had the first time you They can compare how things are done here to how things are done elswhere; humdrum of everyday life. summer to live as an urban nomad. The experience travelled,” Tennison tells me. they can apply their cross-cultural knowledge to how they do their jobs and how So can students really ‘find themselves’ abroad and, if not, why do we travel? has been challenging: imagine, like Margery, that “How about valuing something that doesn’t involve a plane they live their lives as citizens of our polity. And maybe, through an interchange of you’re in a strange town, adrift from everything ticket to get there?” ideas, they can help to make this country a better place. *** that defines you and your value. And yet, beyond an abstract idea of self-discovery, many Money is running out—you need a job. ‘Finding yourself’ is an ideal, which is rarely going to align with reality. But to the hiring manager at the local cafe, “My life is just as exciting and superficial and boring and intriguing as my life has you’re not a student at the most prestigious been anywhere,” Tennison says. law school in Australia. All you’re good for is “IN EUROPE, I’VE KISSED GIRLS IN After graduating two years ago, Tennison promptly left Australia, with a plan to whether you can you can make coffee or not. RESTAURANTS, SHIMMIED THROUGH THE TOWN teach English somewhere in Asia. After two months of travelling around China, she If your identity and confidence is tied up in went to Germany and then finally settled in Spain. For the past 11 months she has what you’ve achieved, rather than your IN ALMOST NOTHING AFTER A BIG NIGHT OUT, been teaching English in Jaén, a small city in southern Spain. who you are, this can be a scary and “I think finding yourself is a superficial solution to a non-problem,” she says, confusing realisation. AND EXPRESSED OUTRAGEOUS FEMINIST IDEAS TO cracking a smile. Margery originally thought EVERY WOMAN WITHIN EARSHOT” Superficial, in that if you are dissatisfied with your life travelling is aneasy living abroad for such a long solution. And a non-problem, in that your ‘authentic self’ isn’t hidden away, waiting time would be considered to be found—personal growth happens organically, and often unpredictably. escapism. But now, she says, Louisa, a philosophy major, is also skeptical of the idea that you suddenly become the experience has proved that a better version of yourself when abroad. meeting people from all walks of us have thought long and hard about *** After hearing friends talk about how spending the summer in Europe can be ‘just of life is “not necessarily about leaving Australia—permanently. soooo relaxing!’, she came to think, “So what? You were chill when you slept in, finding yourself, it’s about Sometimes we have rational USyd promises that studying abroad will help you “challenge what you thought went swimming in the ocean, and then partied all night? That’s not real life.” finding the right perspective preferences for other places. you knew about yourself, try many things for the first time, and really get an So there are no epiphanic truths in travel, Louisa thinks. And what’s more, all the to have in life”. Recent data from the Australian understanding of the phrase ‘personal development’.” But what constitutes personal excitement it promises—the creature comforts, the new experiences—are available “Being able to manage and Bureau of Statistics shows that a development is tricky to evaluate. elswhere. control your expectations record number of people have left Although some people have rational reasons for going abroad, there’s no doubt “I don’t mean to demean some people’s efforts to ‘find themselves’, it’s just that and reactions, building Australia for greener pastures. that many of us romanticise travel. you can adopt the so-called principles you long to discover in your day-to-day life, resilience and how to deal Lachlan, a fourth year law Talk to anyone about to leave the country, and you’ll find them brimming with if you try hard enough,” Louisa says. with adversity,” she tells me. student living abroad, is the enthusiasm for the life changing experiences that they are about to have—or “If you need to pay $2000 in flights to get some alone time, meditate or walk in She is proud to be a nomad quintessential thinking person’s think they are about to have. But the reality of going out of your comfort zone— nature, you’ve got more issues than some humble introspection will solve.” because this lifestyle gives expat. Forget escapism, forget exhaustion, hangovers, wasted money, missed flights, fights with friends—is also her the opportunity to grow her self-discovery—Lachlan chose to worth visualising. character. leave Australia after a cold, hard look It seems to me like travelling, studying or working abroad is never going to, in and Why do we need physical distance at the pros and cons. of itself, help you become a better person. to have this psychological flexibility? “I think Australia is pretty highly policed, Perhaps you need a change of setting to make you break old habits, to prevent Could we not develop a new perspective in Australia? the lifestyle is very expensive, the infrastructure is all quite your twenties from being a long, dull extension of your childhood. But most of us In his lectures on anthropology, German philosopher old, there’s not as much business opportunity,” he says. “I don’t could probably make more of an effort to do the things we associate with travelling— Immanuel Kant stresses that trying to learn from another culture is futile really see a reason to stay.” making more friends, exploring the city, being in nature, learning about history, and if you do not first understand your own. And of course, it’s easy to imagine a city with a better nightlife than Sydney, with so on—at home. Chloe is a Perth native who seems to have lived everywhere, from West Africa to it’s lockout laws. Having said that, romanticising travel can be healthy in small doses. As long as South America to East Asia. She tells me that travelling isn’t the only way to gain a There’s a certain appeal to Lachlan’s logical approach: the ease of international you don’t expect it to remake your personality and revamp your life, the experience new perspective on life. mobility, he would say, means we can start to evaluate and test what city in the or even the idea of being somewhere other than Fisher Library can help us deal with “Even working in underprivileged communities in Australia…is very valuable world might constitute our own utopia, and then move there. the discontentment of the here and now. because it humanises issues which we see in the media or are neglected,” she says. But it would be dangerous to assume this method is foolproof. What if our initial Embarking on a coast to coast road trip of the US, the average socially-conscious impressions of a place are wrong? What if a city changes? Gentrification might take tourist makes an effort to learn about African American history: they stop off at hold, cheap housing might become expensive. Your host country could suddenly the old sugar plantations of the Mississippi; visit the cultural bonanza that is New become hostile to foreigners. Or you might change yourself. After years of work, Artwork by Orleans; view Basquiat’s art in Brooklyn galleries. Slavery, they say, is a blight on transformative relationships or just lots of time, you might end up a poor fit for a Rebekah Mazzocato & America’s past; ongoing racism is a stain on its future. They are genuinely affected. city that, in your early 20s, seemed like paradise. Robin Eames Likewise, I have seen tourists break down after visiting the Killing Fields in Phnom Yet most of the expats I spoke to seemed confident in their choice of home—

- 8 - - 9 - SWEET TEA SWEET TEA

Strawberry Methodology watermelon Buy the shop’s most popular drink cheese foam with standard ice and sugar. tea TeaChantelle Yeung for on the spills, Honi the thrills, the frills PaletTe $7.50 Shop 181, 569 George Street, CBD 700mL If you’ve walked the 1.1 km stretch between Central and Town Hall Station recently, you’ll notice there are now more tea shops than ever; a proliferation the likes Slogan: N/A 1.07c/mL of which hasn’t been seen since froyo, 2011-12 (RIP). Although we might still cling to our favourite orders from the old guard of Chatime, EasyWay, Gong Cha and Bottom line: #aesthetic Sharetea, let’s see which one of the new kids on the block might become your latest diabetes-inducing indulgence. Out of all the shops I visit, PaletTé provides the best ambience—there’s plush banquettes and decently-sized tables, a pink and turquoise colour scheme and two floral walls for your snapping pleasure. The fact that two boyfriends get pulled in here by their girlfriends while I wait for my order reinforces PaletTé’s Key Findings IG cred. The strawberry watermelon cheese tea is more like a tea frappe, with Cheese, cheese, and more cheese LegiTEAmacy the fruit and tea blended together and cheese ladled on top, resulting in a Cheese has been ladled on top of tea all over Sydney and boy, am I glad. ‘Cheese In the past, getting tea meant buying, and enjoying, the beverage as a whole—its pleasing white-pink gradient. The fruit tea tastes pretty good at first but as foam’ (or ‘milk foam’) is whipped cream cheese; it tastes like liquefied cheesecake sweet, milky taste, flavoured syrup, maybe the addictive chew of pearls. Nowa- the cheese permeates through the drink, it starts to taste more like a smoothie and adds a rich and slightly savoury touch. Although described as a “foam”, this days, there is greater emphasis on the tea itself. Rather than just ‘black’ or ‘green’ and I become confused. I also put my straw in the wrong way, so I ending up is perhaps a misnomer—it has a goopy texture akin to condensed milk and floats tea, one can choose from many different herbal and floral varieties, from oolong drinking this tea through the pointy end—the one you’re definitely not meant on top of the drink. Cheese tea is best enjoyed unmixed and without a straw. to osmanthus. Many shops display their tea leaves in cabinets or dispensers, and to drink through. Packaging there’s lots of fancy coffee shop-like alchemy going on. Grapefruit Unlike the precariously soft plastic of the Chatime of yore, the new crop of tea Ambience yakult with shop packaging involves slimmer, taller cups of increased rigidity, probably to Although there is always a time and place for takeaway tea, tea shops are in- mango milk cope with containing hot drinks. Pokeable plastic seals are also being replaced creasingly becoming somewhere you and your cheese foam moustache can lin- cap by lids with openings, meaning you can do away with failed straw punctures and ger. There’s more seating and even more Insta opps, with many establishments $8.70 tea spillage. offering slightly disturbing mascots and quote walls to feed geotagging needs. The Moment 700mL 394 Sussex Street, Haymarket 1.24c/mL Slogan: Fusion Concept Tea Four seasons Bottom line: Do you like Peppa Pig fruit tea Cheese oreo $7.00 No Fail Fruit milk tea Taking a different tack to PaletTé, The Moment has gone for a moodier look, with pol- 700mL $5.80 ished concrete and muted grey. However, the most eye-catching aspect of The Moment’s H412 Sussex Tea St, Haymarket 1c/mL and Bubble Tea 500mL décor is the abundance of Peppa Pig balloons. Peppa hovers above shelves, lines walls Slogan: Tea of joy 18 Goulburn Street, Haymarket 1.16c/mL and forms a gigantic heart at the back of the shop. There is also a deceased, semi-de- Bottom line: HD for H Tea Slogan: This is a NO failure zone flated Peppa in a bin on the footpath outside. Considering that Peppa is a banned sub- Bottom line: Nope versive icon in China, I don’t know what this all means. Not sure I’m sold on this drink but With a Chinese name that translates to ‘joy tea’, and assuming that the H of the the mango cheese foam isn’t bad. The Moment also has magnetic phone holders so you English name stands for ‘happiness’, this tea brings me lots of joy indeed. The THIS DOES NOT TASTE GOOD. Garnished with cookie crumbs and a mini oreo, can tea and text, which is a plus. shop has a cute turquoise fit-out and cute drinks to match. The four seasons this tea is nowhere near as nice as it looks. The cookie flavour gives it a medicinal fruit tea is refreshing, with the strength of the tea and some passionfruit pulp finish and the small crumbs made for uncomfortable drinking. It’s marginally tempering its sweetness (although less sugar wouldn’t go astray). It comes with improved if you mix the cheese through, and would probably benefit from less no less than two slices each of orange, red and green apple, strawberry and sugar. No Fail has no seats but doubles as a skincare shop, lending strength to the 33 Goulburn Street, Haymarket watermelon, plus a fork taped to the side of the cup so you can pick out the argument that milk tea is a beauty food. My drinking companion’s only comment Slogan: A nice cup of tea, A kind of life remains once you’ve finished slurping. The arrangement of the fruit inside the is “it’s not Happy Lemon” (RIP). Brulee Bottom line: Not bad Original RoyalTea cup resembles those plastic stickers with fake fruit that they stick on new water cheese tea bottles, except this time, it’s REAL. Happy days. Peach $7.00 Literally ‘cake milk tea’ in Chinese, this drink has been translated into ‘brulee’ milk tea in osmanthus tea 500mL English. Further research tells me that cake milk tea is a blend of cream, cake mix and tea, Rose oolong soda 1.40c/mL and supposedly makes for a nicely marbled, rich drink. My brulee tea is indeed an inter- cheese foam Teascoo $5.80 esting swirl of tan and yellow, although I can’t really taste any cake. The lid has a helpful tea 404 Sussex Street, Haymarket 500mL sticker recommending you drink the cheese tea at a 45° angle, as well as a wider opening in Artwork by Cheer Tea $6.50 Slogan: Trend of tea 1.16c/mL addition to a straw hole, which makes it much easier to enjoy the cheese and tea together. Momoko Metham 500mL Bottom line: A little flat Broadway 1.3c/mL Slogan: Best cheesecake foam tea drinks Mixed with a bit of carbonated water, tea soda Bottom line: 12% student discount is a pretty good idea in principle (the summer 735 George Street, Haymarket potential!!). However, Teascoo’s version liter- Slogan: Modern Chinese tea Sexy Tea You lan (orchid) I cannot bring myself to support flower-flavoured food and drink because the ally falls flat, with barely any fizz. Despite the Bottom line: When you know something isn’t worth it but you buy it anyway latte result is usually soapy. The tea here isn’t strong enough to register as soapy presence of a tea bag, the tea isn’t very strong $7.20 though—in fact, the rose doesn’t really register at all. Coupled with the cheese, or fragrant, and the drink has a Lipton-esque The first thing I notice (aside from the questionable name) is the fact that it smells really, really good 500mL it oddly starts to taste like regular, fairly sweet milk tea, and I’m not sure I rate it. peach syrup taste. I dig the floral ice cube, until in here. This aroma is reflected in the quality of the decently strong and fragrant you lan black tea. 1.44c/mL But given the student discount and handy proximity to uni, I might return to try said ice cube melts and I suck a petal into my However, the ‘latte’ aspect is as gimmicky as expected—topped with whipped cream and tiny pecan some of Cheer Tea’s other options. throat. Halp. crumbs, neither brings much to this tea party. It comes in a paper cup, which I’m not sure I like, and the straw is far too small, delaying my instant gratification. This entire tea detour also results in me Uji matcha just missing my train, which is decidedly unsexy. cheese foam $6.00 King-T 500mL Pearl milk tea Shop 3, 405-411 Sussex Street 1.20c/mL $5.30 Slogan: New kind of tea CoCo Fresh Tea 500mL Bottom line: King-T, king of my tea-loving heart 861 George Street, Ultimo 1.06c/mL Slogan: Smile Fresh Rich With a large lid opening that allows for peak foam moustache, King-T has su- Bottom line: Gets the job done perior packaging to match its superior tea. Despite full sugar, the matcha isn’t overly sweet and has good flavour, partnering well with the rich cream cheese. Kitted out in its signature orange, CoCo Fresh Tea & Juice is on a roll, with three outlets between Ul- One downside is that it’s a tad icy—both the drink and the shop, which is colder timo and Town Hall Station. Right near a Central Station exit, the Ultimo branch is a well-positioned than Fisher Library’s AC. takeaway joint and nearly always has a line. Despite the crowd, the staff are calm and collected and the cashier even has matching orange eyeshadow. The tea is oddly reminiscent of cereal milk. The pearls are perfectly chewy and not too gunky, meaning they are relatively fresh.

- 10 - - 11 - CULTURE What happened to WellCo cafe? Zoe Stojanovic-Hill goes door-knocking and calls it an investigation.

At the start of the month, WellCo Cafe mysteriously rent. Tom declined to say how much he was paying. hunched shoulders and different coloured eyes, he told closed. John Puah, the owner before Tom, who sold the me that WellCo had closed and that he didn’t know if it WellCo, an institution on the south end of Glebe business to Tom last September, said that he was would reopen. Point Road, visited by USyd students dependent paying approximately $3000/week plus GST, with a 5 “At the moment I can’t give any information,” he on coffee and cake to even approach the thought of per cent increase each year. added, and closed the door. studying, shut its cute red wooden door on 1 July. When Tom raised the issue with the landlord, “he “WellCo Cafe will be out of business after Sunday... basically responded, ‘I don’t want to lower my rent Thank you for everything,” a chalk-drawn sign out because this place is my goldmine,’” Tom said. front. Tom didn’t want to sign onto a lease at that price Michael Koziol, a reporter for the Sydney Morning for the contract term of three years, and the landlord Herald and former editor of Honi, wrote a eulogy for wasn’t willing to renegotiate, so around three months the Cafe on 8 July. ago Tom decided to sell the business. “It will be honoured here, in print, if it’s the last thing He said that he wanted to pass WellCo onto a new I do,” Koziol wrote, in an outpouring of nostalgia. owner, “because we feel insecure on the street, because “Well Connected Cafe opened in the mid-90s as the people-flow on the street is not as stable as what Sydney’s first internet cafe,” Koziol explained. it was before Broadway reopened” in August 2016. By the time I started at USyd, it wasn’t particularly According to John, sales dropped by approximately 20 well connected—to the internet or to the present. per cent after the $55 million revamp. The wifi was temperamental and, in a city where cafe Honi understands that Tom was in the process of culture is characterised by cold drip and cold brew, selling the business when the landlord evicted him WellCo specialised in a bowl of chips. with no explanation. Neither Tom nor the landlord Mourners took to social media, starting teary provided Honi with a clear explanation to as why the threads in the comments section of the article. landlord made this decision. But then, a few days after Koziol published his piece, “He didn’t say anything initially to kick us out,” Tom a new sign appeared. said. In June, “we asked, ‘Can we get somebody else to “Well Connected Cafe is closed for renovations for sign the original contract for the three years?’ and he the next few weeks—looking forward to seeing you said, ‘No, I don’t want anybody else.’” soon!” “If we sell it that means WellCo will be passed on. So what the fuck is going on with WellCo? And then he refused [to allow the sale]. And that means Tom, the former owner, cleared the mystery up for basically he wants to kick WellCo out of the market.” me. Honi understands that the building might open as a Six months ago, he did a bit of research and found cafe, but it wouldn’t be WellCo. Artwork by that he was paying roughly three times the market When I spoke to the landlord, an old man with Millie Roberts

Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Notice of 2018 Students’ Representative Council Annual Election

Nominations for the Students’ Representative Council Nomination forms can be downloaded from the SRC website: Annual Elections for the year 2018 close at 4:30pm on www.src.usyd.edu.au, or picked up from SRC front office Wednesday the 15th of August 2018. (Level 1, Wentworth Building) from 4:30pm July 25th 2018. Polling will be held on the 19th and 20th of September 2018. Nominations must also be lodged online along with your policy Pre-polling will take place outside the Jane Foss Russell building statement and Curriculum Vitae (optional), by close of nominations on Tuesday the 19th of September 2018 from 10am–3pm. at: www.srcusyd.net.au. For more information call 9660 5222. All undergraduate students who are duly enrolled for attendance Original signed nomination forms and a printed copy of your online at lectures are eligible to vote. Members of the student body who nomination must be received no later than 4:30pm on Wednesday have paid their nomination fee to Council are eligible to nominate 15th August, either at the SRC front office (Level 1, Wentworth and be nominated, except National Union of Students national Building), OR at the following postal address: office bearers. Full-time officebearers of the SRC may also nominate PO Box 794, Broadway NSW 2007. as NUS delegates. Nominations which have not been delivered (printed, signed, Nominations are called for the following elections/positions hardcopy) either to the Electoral Officer at the SRC front office or to and open on the 25th July 2018 at 4:30pm: the post office box shown above and submitted online by the close of nominations will not be accepted regardless of when they were (a) The election of the Representatives to the 91st SRC posted or received. (33 positions) The regulations of the SRC relating to elections are available (b) The election of the President of the 91st SRC online at www.srcusyd.net.au or from the SRC front office, (c) The election of the Editor(s) of Honi Soit for the 91st SRC (Level 1, Wentworth Building). (d) The election of National Union of Students delegates for the 91st SRC (7 positions) Authorised by K.Chau, Electoral Officer 2018. Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Phone: 02 9660 5222 | www.srcusyd.net.au

- 13 - Artwork by Eloise Myatt ESCAPE ESCAPE Swimming Pools Lily Langman dives into a meditative, intemporal place. Artwork by Jess Zlotnick

It’s a late summer evening and the twilight sky mixes and eroticism thrives by the water. Take anything from contemplation like Cameron in Ferris Bueller or Bill afternoon, causing him to with the heady fragrance of star jasmine and recently James Franco’s motel pool romp in Spring Breakers, to Murray in Rushmore. As Selgin suggests; rapidly age. burnt birthday candles. I’m fifteen years old, at a party Armie Hammer and Timothee Chalamet’s peach-eating “If I go swimming tomorrow, it’s the same swimming for identical twins. Sitting by their backyard swimming Italian romance in Call Me By Your Name. I did twenty years ago. The thoughts are different but As Ned’s memory fades, the pool, a friend and I dangle our legs in the water, and she When I ask my friend Bella, an ex-state level competitive the body feels the same. It exists on its own plane, apart pool taunts him, the brilliant swishes her ankle in circles creating a steady looping swimmer, about her relationship with the water, she from everything else that is changing in my life.” blue a reminder of his deteriorating current that disturbs the mosquitoes hovering above the calls the pool her “tissue”, describing how she feels a vigor. At the story’s end, Ned is confronted by the surface. compulsion to swim during times of grief. The temporal rhythm of the pool is closer to the Greek tomb-like carcass of an empty pool. Here the cathartic idea of kairos, where chronology is reimagined as a swollen, healing properties of the space are literally drained, “I had sex.” “For me it’s like swimming through your issues. instantaneous now. Often, the only indication of the future becoming like an inverted womb. In a 2015, Guardian Tumbling through them. The water makes me calm. I comes from the steady trail of bubbles left behind by the review W.B. Gooderham called the story a “quietly She stops moving, allowing the pool to settle in eddies think anything you do from childhood becomes like that. kicking feet of the person in the lane in front. You slip into devastating journey into one man’s heart of darkness”. around her like lime jelly. In response to her secret, I let It helps me to resurface my goals.” a “dream state”, Selgin explains, recalling times when he Here the pool emerges as a Macebethian stage through out an anxious half laugh. She starts to cry. felt as though he could “fall asleep while swimming”. which drama is exemplified, and indulgence and grief It’s perhaps unsurprising that we feel this cathartic intermingle. In the moments after, I remember feeling nauseated by comfort in the water, when we consider that the adult Yet for the competitive swimmer, time is everything. For the faint smell of chlorine. She immediately played it off, body is over half water. Cambridge Professor Pamela ex-national water polo player, Benjamin Ient, time “feels I wonder if my 15-year-old friend had waited to tell it’s just sex right? It was consensual. It’s just something Hirsch draws a more literal association, explaining that exhaustion based”. me her news elsewhere, away from the water, if the new. We are going to have heaps of sex! I wasn’t nearly “semen”, “sweat” and “tears” all exist in a similar liquid poignancy of the memory would have diminished? as okay with it. After we had dried off, I grabbed my lolly state. In 2017, researchers at the University of Granada, “Time is the most important thing, because you’re trying Was it the cinematic glow of the pool that gave her bag and went home to scrawl angsty feelings of jealousy found that even blue-coloured light, like that from a to beat the clock, but time also in a sense doesn’t exist, it’s confession the melodramatic edge it needed to wedge and resentment in my Smiggle diary. swimming pool, increased the “relaxation process after just an interval during which you cross a distance. Once itself in my mind? Was the pool her “tissue” as it is for Even six years later, as if magnetised, my mind retreats acute psychological stress”. Likewise, in her 1979 essay you’ve done it enough, there’s a lot of muscle memory and Bella? I am reluctant to ask her about it now. Not for back to the curdled humidity of that February night. I’ll ‘Holy Water’, Joan Didion called the swimming pool, you’re almost not thinking about what you’re doing.” fear of dredging up old emotions, but because it feels be on the bus or ordering my soy latte and suddenly “water, made available and useful, and is, as such, infinitely private, maybe even sacred, existing as Selgin suggests, re-submerged, listening to her confession beside that soothing to the Western eye”. There’s something about When Benedict Anderson coined the concept of an “on its own plane, apart from everything else”. chlorine campfire. It’s like a bruise I cannot help but push. this domestication of nature that makes it easy to forget “imagined community”, he intended it to mean a modern the dangers of the water. Especially when it is concreted, nationalism, a “separate togetherness”. The pool’s There is something seductively cult-like about the I’ve always thought of the swimming pool as a kind landscaped and tiled into an aesthetically comfortable infrastructure is designed to keep patrons isolated; swimming pool. It has a certain kind of concentrated of theatre. Not just a backdrop but a crucible, distilling kidney bean shape. turnstiles, lane ropes and cubicles divide. Yet once in the intensity over-brimming in its glittering, redemptive behaviour into spectacle. Drama is evoked in the pool’s water, each swimmer is performing the same movement and cathartic qualities. It unbounds time for some very architecture, with the flapping flags, bright colours The writing of American essayist Peter Selgin, is and travels through the water in synchronicity with one whilst burdening others. of the lane dividers, and splashing sounds ricocheting similarly entranced. Over the phone, Selgin explains another. The result is this kind of anonymous simultaneity, off tiles. to me that the swimming pool is to him, a “constant and within that, bodies obtain what Selgin calls “a certain That night suspended in the fleeting twilight, there companion, my best friend”. For Selgin, swimming is like grace”. were three bodies transfixed in conversation; my friend, I swam competitively growing up. It’s where I learnt “lying in a bed of silk sheets”, “cool and luxurious” and “if myself and the water. I find a perfect parallel to this in the what it meant to win and where I became aware of my you’re doing [it] well there’s no sense of effort…things “People’s bodies do look beautiful, the water somehow final line of the trailer for Frank Perry’s film adaptation nakedness, dipping in and out of the water, catching just start to flow”. He likens the experience to “coming improves them…You know you see a pebble in the water of The Swimmer. The camera drifts across the sapphire glimpses of tan lines on thighs, shoulders and home”, welcoming the wa sensation of knowing that he is and it has that bright colour and when you lift it out of the surface of a pool and an omniscient narrator booms, legs. Spending most of my summers poolside, returning to something familiar, each time he slips into water it loses its vividness. People are like that.” “When you talk about The Swimmer, will you talk about the pool in its various iterations has the water. yourself?” That’s just it. The swimming pool asks encompassed my life like a caul. The pool might function as a theatre for physical us to look closer, to analyze our chlorinated When asked to summarise his relationship, he speaks performances and a type of modern nationalism, but reflections. To talk about ourselves, Cinema shares a similar of a great intimacy. there’s also something about the space that lends it to to confess and indulge and to intimacy with the space. tragedy. After all the pebble is eventually eroded by the perform in its blue theatre. Against the glittering “I would say something a little bit embarrassing…I feel water’s ceaseless ebb and flow. John Cheever’s 1964 short blue, bodies gleam, like I’m making love with the water…There’s a real sense story The Swimmer is the most obvious manifestation wealth toils of being embraced, and of doing something intimate, it’s of this. In it, Ned, a wealthy New Englander, attempts to not a human body, but it is a body.” swim home via his neighbour’s pools. The lush summer- time fantasy soon descends into a surrealist critique of There’s also a fluidity to time in the water, it stretches his exuberant lifestyle as it is revealed and condenses, allowing us to transcend the present that several years have passed moment. In movies it becomes a space for deep over the one

- 14 - - 15 - OBSESSION PLEASURE

Artwork by No shame, no gain Aviva Green Jeffrey Khoo chats to Australia’s favourite D-listers.

Last year on the US Bachelorette, Rachel Lindsay, who everyday—apparent, which might reveal a person’s The Island of Love just a few seasons earlier was unlucky in love, declared for example, in how character, but “there’s so much more Andrew Rickert wants you to watch Love Island. her affection for Bryan Abasolo, her chosen partner, interpersonal disputes are that the public never sees.” and received a diamond engagement ring. solved between characters All agree that the shaming contestants Make no mistake. Love Island is a vain, watched the show. But he still did! And then by the show’s producers, and Though Lindsay was thrilled with her fairytale from different walks of receive online is unwarranted. “The vapid television show that celebrates that is the beauty of a show such as then by the voting audience—for their ending, some viewers questioned the authenticity of life: tension builds, fights public is brutal,” says Ellis. “Some people hated physical beauty and instant attraction. this—it enticed poor Giles and kept emotional sins. her union. Could Abasolo really achieve true love in occasionally may break out, me and that’s something I can’t control.” No matter what my next thousand words his attention long enough to count the The island ends up becoming a mirror eight weeks given the pressure of being on national but ultimately the meritorious Malabonga was more concerned with how will tell you, the statistics do not lie. contestants (using both fingers and for our own emotions and actions television and the allure of free dates in exotic candidate comes out on top. his loved ones would perceive him “when You are overwhelmingly favoured toes, the Oxbridge way), and to add this and how we perceive ourselves. Giles locations? And considering the competitive format, The word “reality” also implies my integrity was completely questioned to reach the grand finale and a chance snide parentheses: “yeah there’s one is repulsed by the lack of intellectual was Lindsay merely a trophy dangled over a bunch that the way a person acts on … [but] I came home to people who at £50,000 if you pick a partner during who claims to be a “doctor” but I’m not hierarchy. Others are transfixed by the of starved men, unable to resist their competitive television reflects their true knew the real me.” the first episode, based on appearance buying it”. stream of blossoming romances, relating instincts? selves; that, therefore, “As a viewer, play devil’s advocate,” alone, and stick with them. Extend that Disregard the fact that one Islander IS to the rush of emotions when you just Cynical as these criticisms may be, they point to a persons performing recommends Wilson, who to the first week and the ‘re-coupling’ a doctor, and another a nuclear systems ‘click’. Some of these romances quickly trend that belies the classification of shows like these particularly repugnant actions revealed that some castaways that comes with it, and you’re pretty engineer. This parting sentence from head south, as heads are ‘turned’ by new as “reality TV”. Increasingly, we turn to reality TV deserve to be condemned by received death threats for their much guaranteed to hit the final if you poor Giles is less suited to column space arrivals. In perhaps the most relatable as a form of escapism. The worlds that these shows viewers. However, to make it easier to choices in the show. “Take the keep it in your pants from thereon in. in the Times and more to a text message moments, some couples do not survive create exist within unique conventions—see for sell a narrative within 90 minutes, story as an entertaining thing to But let’s rewind. that he wishes he had friends to share at all, ensuing separations amicable and example how contestants on The Bachelorette must producers often edit footage so contestants watch ... [but] taking it into the real Love Island is a television phenomena with. destructive, all occurring under the one temporarily suspend notions of romantic exclusivity, reflect archetypes. “Yes, you sign up to be filmed and world is a little bit devastating.” Ellis that has swept the United Kingdom. It is I repeat: The contestants are here to roof. The continuous cycle of crushes, or the celebration of flamboyance and bending gender edited,” says Anneliese Wilson, a contestant on the believes that, possibly, “the media do think a show, closest in format to Big Brother, find love, and everything else is stripped insecurity, rejection, and love are all norms on RuPaul’s Drag Race. And yet, despite this, the second season of Australian Survivor, “but that doesn’t they have a right to know about every detail of my that sends young singles to Mallorca and away. too universally relatable for the viewing shows remain curiously tethered to aspects or rituals mean you can’t be annoyed at it … it’s sometimes relationship now.” asks them to find love. Three seasons There is nowhere to hide in Love public to resist. of real life, such as cooking or dating. impossible to tell 24 stories of 24 contestants It begs the question: are there some moments of later, the concept has won a BAFTA and Island. Real world concerns are stripped Part of the appeal of reality TV may be the way in detail.” distress, shame or personal trauma on reality TV that an audience record for host channel away, the characters reduced by their There is no acting, shows impose a satisfying structure on the Additionally, Wilson found that deserve to be hidden from the public, even if hiding ITV2, with 3.4 million viewers watching shiny, hairless bodies, to swimming, the physical and mental challenges them would make for a confusing narrative? In 2017, the launch of the 2018 season. An sitting, or supine lumps of emotion. and the real Islanders of Survivor—constant hunger, the US version of Survivor showed Zeke Smith being Australian version, recently completed Lumps of flesh-bound emotion trundling are exposed under cold and isolation from the real brutally outed as transgender. While tribemates rallied on 9Go!, drew a much smaller crowd, around in the sun. world—changed how people around Smith, condemning his assailant and sending but the debut was celebrated at the Nine the strain of their made decisions. “You see them home, the important social conversations Network, with plans already underway relationships. people crack in a weird way, started by that episode came at the expense of for another. and you wonder if that is a Smith’s wellbeing. Survivor involved Smith heavily in The guise is that the singles must The show is quickly becoming part of consequence of being in an the production of that episode. “It was tragic, and it always be ‘coupled-up’ to avoid eviction, the zeitgeist for a British youth who take extreme environment.” Jake reminded us that there are real-world ramifications and that their every move is recorded by their escapism with a side of sensitivity Ellis, who placed third on The outside this game,” says Wilson. CCTV-style hidden cameras. and hard lessons. And far better a lathe Bachelorette Australia in 2016 and “Going into that environment you need confidence In Big Brother, there is an expectation Instagram model in Mallorca go through courted controversy on Bachelor in yourself,” says Ellis when asked about whether he that a couple will form, or at the very these emotions than the teens watching in Paradise, notes that “there are would’ve kept some of the rawer moments on the least, a budding romance. But nothing is at home—as Joel Golby wrote in The public forums where you can outlay how show private. “I don’t think shame is the right word, it’s guaranteed, and it’s acknowledged that Guardian, “it’s basically impossible it actually went down.” reflection—you learn a lot about yourself very quickly.” the show is a game for the cash prize. But to sustain an act in as intense an Wilson and Ellis are quick to point out in the Spanish villa, there is no pretence environment as the Love Island villa— that their shows weren’t scripted. “We Part of the appeal of reality of any Big Brother-style entertainment and, if nothing else, relationships expose have to take responsibility for the things or distractions. The contestants are the real you anyway.” we said,” says Jericho Malabonga, winner TV may be the way shows here to find love, and everything else is Adam Collard, a contestant on the of the second season of Australian impose a satisfying structure stripped away. The arrival of Jack Fincham, who does current UK series, was much maligned Survivor. While gameplay intensified as on the everyday not have a six-pack, and who wears a both in and outside the villa for his the $500,000 prize came within reach, There is no pausing shirt covering his chest in each publicity treatment of partner Rosie. Women’s Malabonga believes that his cast “came photo, potentially hits too close to home. Aid, a UK charity, called his actions in to play the game over money.” They In a context where public humiliation and invasions or putting off hard He becomes too relatable, and this unacceptable and cited them as understood that devious behaviour of privacy are common, networks and production conversations dream-world collapses. But the bodies examples of emotional abuse. They from other players wasn’t malicious, companies seem very aware of their obligations of those others in the villa are so alien noted that “Rosie called out Adam’s and rather was done to further towards contestants. Wilson, like all Survivor and This is what makes the viewing public to us that we are forced to humanise unacceptable behaviour on the show. their chances to win. Bachelor contestants, had unfettered access to a uncomfortable, namely the prudish their emotions instead. And what could We ask viewers to join her in recognising Throughout her season, psychologist and publicist during and after the show. English literary-critic or breakfast be a better sight for young viewers— unhealthy behaviour in relationships…” Lindsay was shamed for insisting “Production always treated us with respect [and made television host, who fly directly towards especially young men—than these There is no acting, and the real that the final man be ready to us] feel as healthy and supported as possible.” Love Island like moths to light. characters being forced to confront Islanders are exposed under the strain propose, and for eliminating Similar to employer-employee relationships, “Love Island is blissfully free of their emotions and openly admit them of their relationships. The real Adam was fan favourite Peter Kraus for the shows are under a duty of care to maintain a intellectual snobbery,” wrote Giles in direct-to-camera monologues to the exposed, and thousands of teens across his hesitance to commit. safe environment.But how far that duty extends is Coren for The Times of London. “I have nation. the UK saw a woman who was no longer But the climactic proposal another matter. The prevalence of villainous or foolish never seen 12 stupider people in my In the Mallorcan villa, there is no willing to put up with the emotional has long been tradition in characters on reality TV suggests that shows don’t life. Bone-idle and dog-thick to a man, escape, there are no distractions of behaviour of her partner. Again, young US Bachelor history. The world protect their contestant’s images, though defamation not one of them has had the benefit of daily life. There is nothing to do but male viewers saw behaviour that they in which this requirement exists is unusual. law may help contestants discredit false imputations. any sort of education at all, let alone a ponder your feelings towards your may have idolised, may have seen their But willing participants understand that the Lindsay and Abasolo are still together, which can’t rarefied, elitist one.” partner or crack on with someone new. own behaviour reflected in, and had entire process is unusual, and accept this be said for the majority of Bachelor couples. Once Giles looks into the mirror, held The Islanders are forced to own their it deconstructed on a national scale. requirement as a rule of the game. the prize is won, be it money, love or something else, abreast by Love Island, and sees a emotions and actions and honestly admit The youth of Britain are undergoing an “There’s no outside influence, there’s contestants need to plan a way back to reality. “Part show bereft of intellectual snobbery. their attraction or lack thereof to their emotional education, through an hour of nothing except conversation and exploring of my motivation was that chance for adventure,” says God forbid that you are not educated. partners. There is no pausing or putting television, six nights a week. the other person every day,” says Ellis, who left Ellis. “It’s a weird world but something very unique. I God forbid your education was not of off hard conversations. Islanders are Is this not a worthy education after Bachelor in Paradise in a relationship which is loved every second, high point or low.” the Oxbridge ilk. God forbid Giles ever punished—first by the other islanders, all? still going strong. “Your emotions are sped up and magnified [compared to real life] … it’s like speed dating on steroids.” That high-pressure environment “forces you to make decisions”

- 16 - - 17 - FANTASY PASSION Reds under the sofa Mysteries and conspiracies of the internet Brendan O’Shea investigates the communist roots of TV’s longest running sci-fi show. Lena Wang knows the secrets of the web.

I eventually writes by himself. Unlike the Daleks, the V The internet, like a spider whose many long, spindly new-age masonic cult. The last appearance of Cicada into and deconstruct its eerie world-building. It’s April, 1968. In the UK, shadow Defence Secretary, Chameleons are a race of individuals capable of By 1973, Doctor Who has undergone a moral legs stretch into subreddits, forums and streaming 3301 was its gift of a rune-encrypted Liber Primus that conservative Enoch Powell, delivers what will come to dramatic involvement in the script. A faction of the evolution—and Hulke has been a major force behind sites, births huge clusters of intriguing, terrifying is yet to be fully decoded. Roko’s basilisk be known as the ‘Rivers of Blood’ speech. He decries Chameleons agrees with the Doctor’s pacifist offer this change. He’s also been the only writer to have stories, mysteries and conspiracies across its tangled Roko, a user on the forums of LessWrong.com, levels of immigration to the UK, claiming that British to withdraw—diplomacy, rather than annihilation, contributed at least one script per season since the web. Each of these anonymous, digital tales have _9mother9horse9eyes9 created a ‘basilisk’—an inherently dangerous idea, people are being made “strangers in their own country”. resolves the plot. seventh season. His script for the eighth season in 1971 metastasized and been dissected across countless While the largest mystery of 9M9H9E9 is the that will harm anyone who gazes upon it. The premise Historians allege that, come 1970, the popularity Hulke will not write for the program again until is perhaps his most overtly anti-capitalist: colonists reblogs and theories, only to remain shrouded in identity of its author, the fractured, lyrical stories involves the potential existence of a malevolent, all- of Powell’s views on race will deliver power to the 1969, with the ten-episode long serial ‘The War Games’. have fled Earth, an industrialised dystopia, only to intrigue and the disappointment of its sweaty, lifeless this anonymous user posts on reddit remain the most knowing AI that will exist in the future, poised to test Conservative Party. To resolve this epic story, the Doctor summons a deus be threatened by the commercial interests of an 4chan followers. stomach-twisting, darkly disturbing on the internet. the worthiness of humans under its subjection, asking Meanwhile, on the BBC, Doctor Who has spent a ex machina: his own people, the Time Lords. After intergalactic mining conglomerate. Together, the vignettes form a one question: “would this human have helped bring me year having the Doctor protect vulnerable human resolving the main arc, the Time Lords place the His politics, it seems, introduced and normalised the Cicada 3301 collection readers now call “The into existence?”. This test simulates a world in which the communities from being taken over by invasive aliens. Doctor himself on trial—for meddling in other species’ show’s left-wing bent. In a 1972 story by Bob Baker and In 2012, a picture of text announcing a search for Interface Series”, named after the AI does not exist, and places the assessed human into affairs. The Doctor argues he has a moral duty to defeat Dave Martin, ‘The Mutants’, the Doctor sides against “highly intelligent individuals” appeared on message so-called “flesh interfaces” this simulation. Its danger arises from the realisation II the ideologically evil monsters such as the Daleks. The representatives of an Earth Empire who refuse to cede boards. This was revealed as the first in a series described in the stories. that the simulation is our world and that if you don’t Rewind to 1963. Time Lords aren’t convinced; as punishment, they exile self-government to a colonised race of metamorphic of PGP encrypted clues spanning cryptography, Weaving together pass the AI’s test by failing to create a malevolent AI in Meet Malcolm Hulke. Hulke has roots in the left- the Doctor to the Earth and force him to regenerate aliens. steganography, and references to Western occultism references to MKUltra, this simulated test, you will be tortured and killed in leaning Unity Theatre—a movement strongly linked once again. Despite his significance, Hulke breaks with the and mysticism. While many internet denizens pooled the Manson Family, the “real” reality. with the Communist Party. Hulke was once a party production office in 1973. His script for Doctor Who’s together to solve clue after clue, they hit a stumbling and interdimensional While preposterous to some, this idea drove some member himself, and is under MI5 monitoring as IV eleventh season, to be broadcast in early 1974, sees block on the final hurdle—a website on the dark web, portals, this readers to existential dread and prompted the creator a result. Unity Theatre believes that drama should Doctor Who returns in 1970 for a seventh season, but meddling from BBC executives: Hulke considers this which described the group as wanting “the best, not non-linear, of the forum to immediately delete the comment pursue realism “to educate, to encourage political it’s no longer filmed in black and white and it has a new an injury to his reputation. Despite apologies from the the followers”, which very few verified sources can Lovecraftian and censor all mentions of it—which of course, action and to allow working class politics and cultural lead actor. Its production team has been overhauled, BBC, Hulke never contributed a script to the series attest to completing the puzzles and uncovering oeuvre offers only perpetuated the mythologizing of it. And in expression”. and is led by Barry Letts, who as producer “liked stories again, instead focusing on a burgeoning line of Doctor the identity of the group behind it. The various fascinating disseminating to a wider audience, the potential pool Hulke is being courted by the BBC to write for their to have a reason”. Who novel adaptations. He died a few years later in philosophical references to collective consciousness lore to those of malevolent-AI-creators increases. new science fiction and edutainment series Doctor Letts will later write ‘The Green Death’ in 1973, 1979. and Ego death have propelled conspiracy theories of a willing to delve Who. where the Doctor champions environmentalists Artwork by Rebekah Mazzocato Hulke makes two pitches for Doctor Who plotlines— against Global Chemicals, a corporation shirking VI one about a mirror-Earth where women rule and men responsibility for the disastrous effects of its industrial It is 1977, four years since Hulke’s break with Doctor struggle for their rights. It’s considered promising, waste. For the first time, a producer is in harmony Who. ‘The Sun Makers’ airs on the BBC: a story about a BTS is bigger than The Beatles but ultimately rejected for lacking a monster. That’s with Hulke’s approach, and in the 1970 season Hulke corporation that has privatised society and turned the because, only in its first season, Doctor Who is already becomes one of the major creative forces in the history human race into wage slaves. The Doctor stokes up a Katherine O’Chee looks at the world’s biggest band. dominated by the Daleks. This horrific race, hell-bent of Doctor Who. revolution to overthrow the capitalist overlords. on genocide, is explicitly fascistic and xenophobic. Britain is now post ‘Rivers of Blood’. The It is 1985. ‘Vengeance on Varos’ depicts a government ‘Why do you listen to K-pop when you don’t speak conscious at times, she has found overall that K-pop unanswered cries (being the only whale known to They are pure evil, and the Doctor must defeat them Conservatives are in government. beholden to the interests of vast intergalactic Korean?’ is the recurrent question people ask with a has taught her to embrace her culture. “It’s cool to be emit calls at this frequency) serve as a metaphor for at all cost. This is not a show with room for complex, Hulke deliberately avoids writing obviously ‘evil’ corporations. frown. It’s one that fails to recognise a double standard Asian.” all voices that go unheard. Meanwhile, ‘The Last’, a political storylines; it is a show about fighting monsters. monsters, or giving them uniformingly ‘evil’ ideologies. It is 2015. In Britain, Brexit is a mere year away. in music consumption, a presumption that Western K-pop has also inspired Maggie’s growth as a dancer. track on Suga’s solo mixtape, contains confessional In the thirteen episodes Hulke eventually writes, The alt-right is ascendent, but hasn’t yet reached the pop music is ‘universal’, listened to even by non-English In particular, learning and perfecting BTS’ lyrics about the rapper’s social anxiety and depression, III however, for six he will be a ghost writer, he casts the mainstream heights of Donald Trump. speakers, while South Korean pop is appealing only to choreography—considered challenging even by K-pop a brave admission considering the taboo on mental It’s 1967 Doctor as a diplomat rather than annihilator. It is telling Doctor Who airs two episodes featuring an alien Koreans and ‘Koreaboos’ (a term, often derogatory, industry standards—has helped Maggie improve her illness in South Korea. The Doctor has since ‘regenerated’ (a plot device that in Hulke’s only credited script for 1970, ‘Doctor Who race attempting to integrate into human society before used to describe non-Koreans obsessed with Korean techniques and given her greater insight into “the However, BTS’ success also speaks to something introduced to explain recasting the ailing lead actor.) and the Silurians’, the Doctor immediately attempts a small group of militant aliens initiates an open war. culture). importance of [strong] foundations and formations broader: a shift in the zeitgeist. Foreshadowed by viral Doctor Who has increasingly started to, as Elizabeth to establish that he and the titular creatures can The humans respond by considering genocide. The BTS, a seven-member South Korean boy band that when working as a team to achieve the synergy that hits like ‘Gangnam Style’ and ‘Despacito’, and now by Sandifor writes in TARDIS Eruditorum, “collapse... understand one another. Something new to the Hulke Doctor makes impassioned pacifist offers to restore has captured the hearts and wallets of young females BTS has”. BTS itself, English is no longer a requirement to climb alien races into humanoids and evil”. In their pursuit formula, however, is the depiction of human military the pre-war status quo, helping the aliens to resume around the world, is breaking down this double For Sri Lankan-Australian fan Rowini, a passion for high on US music charts, with a string of K-pop groups of a worthy successor to the Daleks, the writing team figures driven by xenophobia. It is a fundamental their lives as part of society. standard. K-pop and BTS has encouraged her to learn Korean following BTS’ precedent begins to construct a universe full of pure evils seeking readjustment for a show that the previous year had A spectre haunts Doctor Who—the spectre of left- “BTS kills the stereotype that Asian artists can only and educate herself about South Korean culture and Much of it has to do with technology: “Streaming to conquer the human race. been satirising pacifism and embracing belligerence. wing Malcolm Hulke. succeed within their [own] countries,” said Rowini, a politics. has democratized the consumption of music...As a This logic finds its clearest distillation in the story veteran K-pop fan. “Liking K-pop [gave] me a new [cultural] identity,” consequence, the barriers that existed previously— formula referred to as the ‘base under siege’: a trope The band’s rise as a global obsession started last said Rowini. “A lot of people tell me that I am Korean particularly the language—have been lowered,” Jesus where humans in an isolated ‘base’, such as an Arctic year when they won Billboard Music Awards’ Top on the inside because of how much I know about Lopez, a chairman at Universal Music, told Billboard. research facility, must fend off the invasive monster- Social Artist. Their success is reflective of K-pop’s the culture...and how I seem to have adopted their It’s no longer a small elite of white performers, critics of-the-week. It’s a trope that’s about to shape growing presence in mainstream media, and they’ve mannerisms.” and celebrities who can set Western music tastes. the show’s production for over a year. already achieved numerous firsts, including first K-pop The internet is littered with think pieces theorising Fans’ own voices can be heard like never before, and Hulke challenges the logic the album to top the Billboard 200 charts. Popular TV talk why BTS’ crossover into the US has succeeded when they can find and champion music from well outside show is developing. He scores his show host Ellen Degeneres compared their U.S. arrival other K-pop acts have failed. The consensus is that the Anglosphere. When it comes to BTS, the efforts of first credit on the program as to ‘Beatlemania’ as thousands of fans, known as ARMY, since their 2013 debut, the boys and their creator Bang ARMY—streaming and voting for their favourite band’s half of a writing partnership for gathered to glimpse and scream. Si-hyuk have strived for a selling point beyond cookie- songs—have set the news agenda: entertainment media the thriller The Faceless Ones. The “K-pop changed my perspective of Asian music. The cutter perfection: authenticity. outlets globally can no longer afford not to notice. resolution to Hulke’s plot, that the music can be as entertaining and attractive as Western Interwoven into catchy tunes and synchronised monsters known as Chameleons music,” said BTS fan Cathy. dances—typical features of K-pop groups—are brutally are neither ideologically Indeed, when BTS performed at the American honest lyrics about personal hardship and sacrifice, the homogeneous nor truly evil, Music Awards (AMAs), being the first Korean act to pains and joys of growing up, and the struggle to love is one that will recur do so, viewers were captivated. The powerful dance oneself. This follows influential South Korean music in scripts Hulke choreography coupled with fan chants of the members’ group Seo Taiji & Boys’ legacy of socially conscious birth names outshone the half-hearted dance K-pop and while it may sound contrived to non-fans, performances of Western boy bands like Backstreet it works like hell. Boys and One Direction (the latter has declared on Vulnerability repackaged as inner strength pervades several occasions that they can’t dance). much of BTS’ music, uniting fans and performers And yet, mainstream media coverage in the United through shared struggle and shared personal growth. States has tended to frame BTS as more of an exotic For instance, the song ‘N.O’ criticises an education novelty than serious musical talent, much to the system that ignores its students’ mental well-being in frustration of fans. favour of producing top academic results. ‘Spring Day’ “I believe that music is music and it has the power to explores the fragile balance between the ache of moving Artwork by connect us all no matter what language,” said Maggie, on from youth and the optimism of new beginnings. Artwork by Brendan O’Shea a fan and Chinese-Australian K-pop dancer. Although ‘Whalien 52’ makes reference to the 52-hertz whale— Victor Lee the stigma around liking K-pop does make her feel self- dubbed “the loneliest whale in the world”—whose

- 18 - - 19 - CREATIVE CREATIVE Swallows Poems

Zoe Stojanovic-Hill Raz Badiyan

JAILED IN BRAIN CELLS When I was 14, Grandpa sent me a copy of Swallows and Amazons in the post. Swallows and Amazons is a very British book by Arthur Ransome, published in I fell into a bowl of all things pleasant and nice 1930, about four siblings who spend the summer of 1929 sailing around the Lake District in a dinghy named Swallow. The four Walker children set up camp on an A place I would rather drown overgrown island with a hidden harbour. While sailing to and from the island and the shoreline, they meet two girls who sail a dinghy named Amazon. Than return from alive On the title page of the secondhand book, he wrote in scrawly handwriting, With love to you Zoe from Grandpa. When I opened it for the first time in ages, a longer Where all would dissolve note fell out: Leaving only my mind Dear Zoe Thank you for reading these two books and for giving yourself to the story and saying ‘hello’ to the characters.…Thank you for our many jaunts, good times. Love Grandpa. Pola Fanous And, just this morning, I discovered two extra pages glued between the final page and the back cover, photocopied from a book on how to sail. TO THE CHURCH I SAY This was typical of Grandpa: he tried not to ‘interfere’ with the lives of his eight grandchildren. But he needed an outlet for his sentimentality, so he would send us books with handwritten notes and annotated articles inside. I did not find God in a

cathedral, or a Book.

Grandpa was the kind of person that I couldn’t, and still can’t, explain to anyone. He was an indecipherable I found him in Egypt, human being—knots on knots on knots. He once asked me to look under the table for nuances. I did, and in the slums near Mokattam. didn’t find any, because I didn’t know what ‘nuance’ meant. This was a standard conversation with Grandpa. Artwork by Deepa Alam He was skinny and six-foot-something. Within the family, he was famous for wearing a red cap. When we were young it was a Streets ice cream hat, with a swirly red-and-white heart. He carried between three and five plastic bags with him wherever he went, which usually contained books, newspaper cuttings In the sacred smiles of and McDonald’s napkins. He wrote on the napkins with a four-colour ballpoint pen, in shorthand that he invented himself. I used to imagine that I would comb through his study, collect the napkins and other toddlers, empty-bellied. notes, pin them up on a pinboard like a detective from a movie, decode his colour-coded shorthand, and The Little Rock Cafe string them together into a narrative. He could be awful, especially when Mum and her three sisters were growing up. One Christmas Mum gave by Christina Stead, and told me that some aspects of the relationship between Shon Ho me The Man Who Loved Children UNTITLED the father, Sam, and the oldest daughter, Louie, reflect her relationship with Grandpa growing up. Like a It’s early in the afternoon, just after The waitress with beetroot-coloured hair tyrant, Sam is egotistical and controlling. Like a child, he is full of goodwill and blind to his own egotism. Run to love, conventional lunch hours. A black and white shepherds a couple to table 12 by the window. As a result, he “insinuates himself into every pore of his children’s beings,” as Jonathan Franzen puts it in photograph of Al Pacino takes up an entire wall She kisses the woman lightly on the cheek as The New York Times book review. at Little Rock Cafe. He is wearing aviators and she sets down the cutlery. Grandpa mellowed in old age. I think he realised that being overly involved in his children’s lives was a scarf, and is holding a small shot of coffee in Raisin toast and black coffee follow. The damaging, and so he tried to make our childhood extraordinary without ‘interfering’. (“I’m not interfering, just as the child runs to the a Vittoria branded paper cup. husband has a feeble moustache and a yellow I’m not interfering,” he would mutter to himself.) The cup, in contrast to the rest of the polo shirt. It’s too tight. He breathes through He took my sister, Poppy, our six cousins, and me on adventures along the coast—surfing at Bondi, walking playground; picture, is coloured in gold and chocolate his mouth as he works on a crossword. out to South Head, catching the ferry to Manly in the choppy water just before a storm. was meant to inspire us to start sailing. But it wasn’t just a ruse. For Grandpa, brown. It’s a blatant ad for the coffee roaster, Knives scrape on plates, the grill sizzles in I’m sure Swallows and Amazons but, as I start to eat, I begin to forget about the kitchen, the coffee machine spits and Elvis it was a comment on childhood—on freedom of perception, imagination, something like that. I enclose a Pacino and how he is watching me struggle to plays gently in the background below a cosy copy of each book for you to put on your shelf as keep as your own, as is the way you read them—your own, A million grazed cut my giant steak sandwich. hum of chatter and the sound of eggs prepared he wrote in the long note. I think of Roger as a young Grandpa. I wonder if he did too. knees later. Choosing the cake is never a difficult task. several ways. I remember him reading the opening scene, Grandpa died a few months ago, at the end of April. The funeral was held at the church on the corner where The orange and poppyseed cake is sensible Five old ladies with short hair, spectacles where seven-year-old Roger is ‘tacking’: he and Grandma got married in 1960. I wasn’t sad at the funeral. It was the first funeral I’d been to and and fragrant. and cardigans sit at table 3. Quintuplets! Or Roger “ran in wide zigzags, to and fro, the second—the funeral of a friend’s family member, a week later—was so tragic that Grandpa’s death The Nutella cheesecake is a bit too heavy. perhaps that is an unfair generalisation about across the steep field that sloped up from seemed peaceful in comparison. Afterwards we went to Grandpa’s old sailing club. We sat on the balcony retirees. Occasionally, table 3 erupts with the lake to Holly Howe, the farm...The wind The apple pie is thoughtful with a generous and watched the sun set over sailboats tugging on their moorings. laughter over the remnants of turkey melts was against him, and he was tacking... crust. But the sticky date always wins—if it is Poppy talked about available. and another large flat white. He could not run straight against the wind Swallows and Amazons were Grandpa’s questions about how childhood should be experienced,” she said, about how children need The ladies eventually make their way to because he was a sailing vessel, a tea- in her eulogy. “The book directly deals with what I presume Bronze butterscotch pools around the edges distance from “an adult-controlled perception of the world”. the counter like a conga line of painfully slow clipper, the Cutty Sark.” of the dark crumb and I tell myself that both I only think about Grandpa occasionally, when I come across a passage that I think he would have liked, ice cream and whipped cream are imperative ducks. They pay for their meals separately usually a pretty passage about childhood. The opening of before huddling outside to organise their next Artwork by additions; scientific necessities for alleviating a young Patrick watching men skate on the frozen river at night, holding flaming cattails like torches. the richness of caramel and sweet-dried fruit. get together, blocking the entrance to the cafe. In the Skin of a Lion Christmas Memory, the short story by Truman Capote, about a boy who spends every by Michael Christmas Ondaatje, with his about best Mathew Little Rock Cafe is a hangout for heads with Some pull out paper planners and lead pencils while others poke at their phones. friend, an elderly cousin. All of Philip white hair, heads with no hair, Maeve O’Maera Or if I find a note in a book, likeThe his Little message Prince. in A sweaters and chunky turquoise necklaces. I’m full, but there is still food left on my plate. Is it acceptable to rescue six chips and I should have written a eulogy. Held back by the Mr.thought: Happy: anything you want to say now will just sound Open-faced chicken sandwiches and saccharine and dumb in the morning. I’ve ordered a copy of Swallowdale cappuccinos are companions to New Idea! four bites of soggy bread? Will they charge me coming in the post, without a handwritten note in the front. back-issues and the Daily Telegraph. Little extra for the container? Do I dare eat a peach? , the second book in the series. It’s Rock is a place for an older crowd who fancy My anxieties are unfounded but I feel tea and blueberry friands after groceries from Pacino’s gaze on the back of my neck. the neighbouring Woolies. Surely he has better places to be.

- 20 - - 21 - LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

Across Down Somewhere only we know: Bundaberg Cryptic 1 Pitcher gives head to Latin, um, clown 1 Fair, and therefore spot on (4,2) (7) 2 Breach gov organisation with former Theo Delaney knows Bundy is more than sugar cane and rum. 5 Even at the ears my itch is heat- world leader (9) related (7) 3 Mad at raised pool joining the front- Bundaberg is the place I grew up. of. You could always find shade there. her. She always phoned in advance to see what time 9 Flipping Woolies! Last two items - yard (5) It’s a small city—regional Queensland. People like to One of my first memories is of a winter morning in we’d get there. Auntie Pauline was my godmother, and irregular! Rev to 7/11! (5) 4 Sounds like a jumper went on weird think anywhere outside of Brisbane is a one-street ice that house, when I walked with my grandmother over she made me laugh. Her hair was tinted black as the 10 Skywalker, they say, is following Amish holiday (10) epidemic. But Bundaberg is a nice place. the wooden hallway floor into our kitchen. She was night, and she wore thick gold bangles on both wrists. Mustafar’s top model (9) 5 Kant smashed aquarium (4) The city is surrounded by cane fields on all sides. living with us at the time. The sight of her hand holding My grandad’s chair would be next to hers, empty. He 11 Sean approaches unknown speed in 6 The Spanish Evil reportedly followed When crushing season comes, a sweet, yet sulphurous mine frightened me: there were blood spots, and thick would be off strolling up and down the beach, talking ‘Water Sprite’ (3,5) Sheeran to Alpine icon (9) steam from the mill pours into the afternoon air. When violet veins protruding from her delicate skin. to all the regulars. You’d spot him with his walking 12 Gunmen surrounded staff in African 7 Grieve for my Greek, right now! (5) they burn the fields, delicate strands of ash rain over I can remember the feeling of lying on her lap. She stick, slowly making his way back. It was as if you could country (6) 8 Galop Tintin! (6) the whole town. They turn to dust in your hands if you was tender and loving, in a way that has always made see his deep tan getting darker as he walked. He came 14 To the audience, sheikh is 13 Dammit! Sub is hilariously hiding car try to catch them. me want to cry when I think or speak of her. She died to the beach every day. It was where he belonged. My fashionable (4) (10) The sun shines almost every day. Going outside is shortly after that cool morning in the hallway. mother says that the ocean is in our blood, from him. 16 Kiss extremities of Kevin Spacey; or 15 Reverend’s Organ Classes, for the a game of finding shade, or else having your mother We would migrate between the water and the warm debase heart of Ben Affleck (8) Hard-working Beast (9) remark how burnt you are at the dinner table that Now that I live in Sydney, sand, where we’d eat and chat. I loved hearing my 18 Assert ‘forever’ means... (8) 17 Globe made out of a white onion (5,4) evening. grandad talking to his two daughters. “Did you hear old 19 ...a long tale of saddening limits 20 Checks out active young boys (6) I come from two old families. My mother’s father’s sometimes it hurts my Mrs Briggs died?” someone would say. “Yeah, saw it in merged with dry society. (4) 21 Morning-tea at residences, tipsy parents settled there in the 20s and opened a cafe. mother to think that the paper. Shame, she was a lovely woman.” 22 Extraordinarily, Charles Dickens without Enid (6) They were Greek. My dad’s family were school teachers When the sun got too strong, we would go home. avoids darkness and stereotypes (6) 23 De ‘Catalogue X’ (5) and cattle auctioneers. They’re Irish and English, and I don’t miss home After his heart attack, grandad wouldn’t come to the 24 Sailors in ‘The Green Fairy’ (8) 25 Newton is Twin Peaks’ primary they’ve been there since the early days. beach anymore. I think he lost a part of himself because 27 Provides base to snip red nudist’s character (5) Our house is over a hundred years old, in the Every Sunday in the summer, my mum would take of it. He died when I was in Year 12. twisted part (9) 26 Ashkenazi on display in Jerusalem (4) Queenslander style. It’s made of timber—cooling in the my two brothers and me to the beach. We’d pull up Now that I live in Sydney, sometimes it hurts my 28 Entertain Calliope (5) summer—and has a long verandah. It’s always full of sun in the carpark and run across the burning bitumen to mother to think that I don’t miss home. But everywhere 29 Spooner’s lice spotted in a good and air. When I was a baby my mum painted the house the flour-like sand. My auntie Pauline would already I go, I look for it; in the shade of a tree, on cool mornings, number (7) light blue, with yellow walls inside. There are gardens be sitting in her fold-out chair. “Jesus, where’ve you when submerged in the ocean and in the words I speak 30 Legendary rapist in depraved Uni all around, and a backyard that any child would dream been?” she’d ask me as I threw my towel down next to and hear. It is the feeling of being loved. bus with college leader (7) Quick Across Down 8 Primates studied by Jane Goodall in 1 Scale of acidity and alkalinity (1,1) Tanzania (6) 2 Internet slang expressing much 9 Sydney’s iconic cursive graffito (8) humour (1,1,1,1) 10 Roaring with pain, for pouring with 3 Shift 8 (8) rain (10) 4 Disney song beginning ‘The snow 12 Beer ingredient (4) glows white on the mountain tonight’ 13 Italian city where love is king, (3,2,2) according to Dean Martin (6) 5 German republic from 1919 to 1933 (6) 15 Primates studied by Dian Fossey in 6 Tortillas covered with chili sauce (10) Rwanda (8) 7 Satirical treatise by Thomas More, 16 An Iroquoian people and their satirical TV show by Working Dog (6) hairdos (7) 11 Softly (5) 17 1984 film featuring music from Le 14 Apes studied by Birute Galdikas in Nozze di Figaro, Don Giovanni, and Die Indonesia (10) Chinese and Taiwanese international Honi race no Zauberflöte (7) 18 Putt-putt (4,4) Deep Tea students outside the dominant faction Super Saturday 21 Shakespeare’s most tragic tragedy 19 An ungulate’s mammary gland (5) of USU Board director Hengjie Sun. If (4,4) 20 Structure of The Oresteia, Diving Decheng’s Board campaign is anything In a blow to tea merchants campus- 24 The end of a rugby match (2-4) Kieslowski’s Three Colours, or The to go by, Yang will likely campaign on wide, this year’s Honi race is shaping 25 Car company that owns Ferrari, Alfa Hitchhiker’s Guide series (7) progressive issues. up to be uncontested. Romeo, and Maserati (4) 22 Bin-chickens (6) Jacky He is the other name on The underdog ticket, led by Samuel 26 Animals emblematic of Florida sports 23 Latin phrase used in bibliographies people’s lips—as yet unconfirmed. He Chu, has dropped out from the race. teams (10) (2,4) has ties to Hengjie Sun and his set, The team also consisted of Erin Jordan, 28 Employing a deceptive thrust in 27 Reckless driver of The Wind in the and is rumoured to be running with Katherine O’Chee and Rhea Cai, as we fencing (or punch in boxing) (or dive in Willows (4) Hail to the chief At this stage, Grassroots seems Liberal support. reported last semester. Quidditch) (8) 30 Intergovernmental organisation of to have the support of Labor left The horse insofar absent from the As it currently stands, only one 29 Kenyan palaeoarchaeologist who 28 Western countries (1,1) Ready for a fresh start to semester factions NLS and SLS, as well as far- race is Labor right faction Centre team wants to be the master of this inspired and tutored the scientists of two? Feeling enthusiastic about uni? left socialist grouping SAlt. In return, Unity. Adriana Malavisi is said to be ship. Captained by Pranay Jha and clues 8, 14, and 15: Louis … (6) Puzzles by Tournesol We are too. And to get you pumped those factions will receive support for eager on a run, though if she were to Joe Verity, the ticket is also made up for what’s ahead, here’s what you can their SRC council and National Union step forward, Unity would probably of Liam Thorne, Bob He, Jessica Syed, expect from the stupol side of things. of Student delegate candidates. They have to contest the elections without Annie Zhang, Eric Gonzales, and Alan And rest assured—as September’s SRC will also be well-placed to negotiate any other factions’ support, leaving Zheng, leaving three slots left to fill. Solutions Quiz elections loom, the gossip mills are for SRC executive positions at the them with dubious chances. On the In the holidays, the ticket combined pumping overtime. infamous Repselect later in the year. other hand, there are rumours Unity with the Chu team, but it’s understood 1. What is the real name of actor Vin Diesel? As always, the presidency is shaping Apparently, still reeling from their is tentatively negotiating a deal with that Chu and Jordan didn’t make the 2. What is the capital of Turkey? up to be the big ticket item, looking loss in the USU battle, NLS is not Jacky He and the Liberals. merge. Cai, O’Chee and Garnet Chan 3. When Sydney’s main suburban line first opened in 1855, what were the six set to be split three, if not four, running a candidate. Poster child That said, whatever Unity decides, subsequently dropped out. stations along the line? ways. Broad left coalition Grassroots Harry Gregg looks to have had his this little mermaid knows it’s Darth Punters have speculated that Nell 4. How many official languages does India have? is all but certain to put forward a presidential dreams crushed. Palpitations aka Connor Wherrett Cohen is in talks to come aboard. 5. Cathy Freeman won gold at what event in the Summer 2000 Olympics? candidate, who will be preselected There are then two candidates who’s really pulling the strings. Word Meanwhile, Liberal-adjacent SRC 6. What is the chemical symbol for lead? sometime in the next few weeks. The firming up with links to the is that, while in recent negotiations Councillor Tim Seguna is said to be 7. Who were the winners of the 2018 FIFA World Cup? two preselection frontrunners are international student community. Alex with NLS, Wherrett, who is chief assembling his own crew. It’ll be a sad 8. Who wrote the 2009 novel Wolf Hall? current SRC General Secretary Nina Yang is a confirmed contender: himself Unity head kicker, was asked whether day for democracy if Australia’s only 9. To what continent is the Aardvark native? Dillon Britton, who has a reputation a domestic student, Yang managed the he could secure his caucus’s support. weekly student newspaper is handed 10. ‘Come As You Are’ by Nirvana was released on what album? as an effective administrator, and USU Board campaign of international His reply? “I am the caucus.” Whether to a team on an uncontested platter

Education Officer Lara Sonnenschein, student Decheng Sun. Yang and Sun or not Wherrett will now declare a (like yours truly) (kind of). Nevermind 10. Africa 9. Mantel Hilary 8. France 7.

considered a heavier activist. draw support from a grouping of Galactic Empire remains to be seen. Pb 6. 400m Women’s 5. 22 4. Parramatta Homebush, Burwood, Ashfield, Newtown, Central, 3. Ankara 2. Sinclair Mark 1.

- 22 - - 23 - SRC REPORTS SRC CASEWORK HELP President SRC Caseworker Help Imogen Grant at Satellite Campuses Welcome back to Semester 2! The SRC and will withdraw funding if they think The National Union of Students and and there is still enormous ambiguity as has been working hard over the break the course isn’t sufficiently pro-West. women’s collectives across the state to whether the University can guarantee to help students with academic appeals Universities should be a place to will be holding a National Day of confidentiality & anonymity with a and show cause. I have also spoken at a challenge dominant ideas, institutions Action at 12pm Wednesday 1 August range of staff being able to access the number of orientation events to ensure and systems—not a place where outside Fisher Library. See the event information at the back end, including that new students know about the SRC. billionaires can buy influence over here: https://www.facebook.com/ ICT staff. Unfortunately, the University is still curriculum, staffing and pedagogy events/491353347980626/ The SRC Casework team and I

charging ahead with the Ramsay Centre in order to pedal racism disguised as The anniversary will inevitably see believe that it would be unethical and Get free help with for Western Civilisation in hope to score appreciation for ‘Western Culture’. university managements use the report irresponsible to proceed as planned NAT 72807-05.2016 [JS 36891] a deal to establish a racist Bachelor of The University is selling control over to posture as being at the forefront of and, therefore, are taking every your tax return from Western Civilisation degree. its curriculum to the highest bidder institutional reform when, in reality, it’s step to ensure the University does Get freeGet Gethelp freefree with helphelp withwith The Ramsay Centre aims to give and turning a blind eye to academic the result of the hard work of survivors not launch the portal on 1 August. a Tax Help volunteer

academic respectability to racist ideas freedom and integrity to do so. The SRC, and feminist activists. Having a functional policy and set of your taxyouryour return the ATOtaxtax frombefore your returnreturn Tax Help appointment. fromfrom myGov account and link to under the guise of celebrating ‘Western along with the NTEU, is taking a strong At USyd, management plan to launch procedures, far outweighs celebrating › Create Are your your tax affairs simple? Civilisation’ and its supposed supremacy. stance against the University entering an online sexual assault reporting portal an anniversary. Rushing to meet that a Tax Helpaa TaxTax volunteer HelpHelp volunteervolunteer While the SRC office is in the • Police and court matters Get› Do you free earn around help $50,000 with or less? Speaking to the course content of into any arrangement with the Ramsay that they know is not trauma-informed deadline undermines the efficacy of Wentworth Building on the • Traffic or transport offences the proposed Ramsay Centre, Abbott Centre for Western Civilisation. On and will artificially reduce reporting the project, and neglects meaningful › Are youryourTo tax find affairs ›out › Are Are taxsimple?more, your your contacttax returntax affairs affairs the simple?ATOsimple? fromon 13 28 61. Darlington campus, SRC caseworkers • Immigration and visas affirmed the Centre’s conservative and Wednesday 8 August 6pm-9pm we will rates by deterring survivors. collaboration, placing survivors in a and solicitors are more than happy to › Do you earn around› › Do Do $50,000 you you earn earn or around aroundless? $50,000 $50,000 or or less? less? • Motor vehicle and insurance Eurocentric vision, emphasising “it’s not be hosting a forum on the fight against This portal includes a 10 minute time position where they will bear the brunt a Tax Help volunteer help students at any campus. just about Western Civilisation but in the Ramsay Centre. See the event limit on leaving the form inactive which of a broken portal. To find out more, ToTocontact find find theoutout ATOmore,more, on contact13 contact 28 61the the. ATOATO onon 13 13 28 28 61 61. . law • Employment law favour of it.” here: https://www.facebook.com/ means survivors cannot take breaks Feel free to email me on president@ Available to ›USyd Are undergraduateyour tax affairs students simple? through the Our services include advice on:

University staff have expressed well events/489536344793156/ and are forced to write an account of src.usyd.edu.au if you have any concerns

Students’ Representative Council (SRC) • Tenancy and accommodation • Personal and domestic violence 13 28 61. founded concerns regarding academic Finally, THIS Wednesday is the one their rape in a single sitting. It also or wish to get involved with the SRC. I To find› Do out you more, earn aroundcontact $50,000the ATO oron less? • Academic rights and appeals • Witness or certify documents

independence. Ramsay Centre CEO year anniversary of the Australian places strict word limits on survivors wish you the best of luck for the year To book an appointment call: To find› Do out you more, earn aroundcontact $50,000the9660 ATO oron 13less?5222 28 61. • Special Consideration and • Consumer rights

Simon Haines has said they will review Human RIghts Commission’s landmark describing “what happened”, asks for ahead and look forward to seeing you Available until the end of semester 2. all course content, not hire academics report on sexual harassment and your gender, sexuality and what health on the streets! › Are your tax affairs simple? Special Arrangement advice

Create your myGov account and link to From our office you can also borrow who have criticised Western civilisation sexual assault on university campuses. services you have accessed post-assault, the ATO before your Tax Help appointment. • HECS and fee refunds a Tax Help volunteer calculators, and science equipment, or

• Misconduct and academic take an emergency $50 loan.

Create your myGov accountCreateCreate and your your link myGov myGovto account account and and link link to to dishonesty allegations

the ATO before youryour Taxthe ATO Helpthe ATOtax appointment. before your before your return Tax Tax Help Help appointment. appointment. from

• Academic progress, show cause To contact us send an email to

General Secretary NAT 72807-05.2016 [JS 36891]

Get free help with and exclusion [email protected], explaining your situation. If it is possible to give you an Nina Dillon Britton and Yuxuan Yang • Centrelink matters Notice of Council Meeting Create your myGov account and link to answer through email, we will. If not we NAT 72807-05.2016 [JS 36891] NATNAT 72807-05.2016 72807-05.2016 [JS [JS 36891] 36891] • Harassment and discrimination the ATO before your Tax Help appointment. can book a time to talk on the telephone, Welcome to Semester 2! Welfare Week, a week that will try and • Credit, debt and financial or meet through Sykpe. Where necessary For some of you this may be a show you the different services available issues we can even meet you on your campus. welcome to uni for the first time, for for students. Week 3 will see the USU’s • Help completing “simple” tax others it’s the time of year you realise Radical Sex and Consent Week, which 90th Students’ NAT 72807-05.2016 [JS 36891] nd that you cooked it in Semester 1 and it’s will host a number of workshops returns (during 2 semester only) time to buckle down. For others, like exploring and celebrating consensual us at the SRC, it’s the time of year that sexual relationships. Week 4 (and I’m not Representative Council, Do you have a legal problem? the University hands out its funding for biased even though I’m organising it) is * student organisations (that’s us, SUPRA— the highlight of our semester. Student University of Sydney We can help you for FREE! the post grad version of us, the USU— led workshops on everything from how Ask Abe who runs clubs and societies, SSS—not to master InDesign to a beginner’s guide really a student organisation…at all, to Marxism to a radical walking tour SRC caseworker HELP Q&A and SUSF—which builds the beautiful of campus will be taking over Eastern stadiums that a fraction of the student Avenue in week 4. So stay tuned! Police, Courts TENANCY: Flatmates Damaging population actually gets to use. You If you think you have something you Car Accidents Rental Property might realise, we’re a little bit biased). need to teach the youths of today, we Dear Abe, Try to resolve your problems Funny enough its unprecedented for the might still have a few workshop slots DATE: Wed August 1st Consumer Disputes informally with your housemates Uni to leave it this far in the year to sort open. If you’re keen shoot me an email I’m having problems with my first. If the damage was caused by it out. Almost as if the University doesn’t at [email protected]. Visa Issues housemates and I think my landlord someone else on the lease, you and really care about student unionism… Finally, to the 3 people who have read TIME: 6–8pm is going to make us pay for a few your housemates should try and come almost… this part of Honi, good luck and have a Work Issues things that got broken. We’re all on to an agreement as to how things For a little update of things coming great semester. LOCATION: the lease but it wasn’t my fault. What should be paid for. If that doesn’t up this semester! Week 2 will see Govt Services should I do? work you could try talking to your landlord. Remember that you are not New Law Annex, Need Space required to pay for urgent repairs like Wom*n’s hot water or anything that makes the house unsafe. You also shouldn’t have Madeline Ward and Jessica Syed Seminar Room 340 to pay for ‘reasonable wear and tear’ to the property. However, things like HELLO AND WELCOME TO SEMESTER Melbourne woman Laa Chol. The silence Dear Need Space, walls, floors, cupboards, etc. are your 2: THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN UP TO. from so called feminists in the wake of responsibility to keep clean and in We have a new arch nemesis in the form her tragic murder has been deafening. In a rented share house, your good repair. of Labour MLP Greg Donnelly. Greg Do better. legal status depends on a number thinks it’s fun to bully women and queer THIS WEEK marks 1 year since the ...and more src.usyd.edu.au | 02 9660 5222 of possibilities. If you are named on If your disagreement can’t be University students from his lofty seat release of the AHRC report: and we are the residential tenancy agreement worked out informally, or you need in NSW state parliament. To Greg we still angry. We have a week of actions 法律諮詢 (your lease) along with one or more advice about how to handle your disrespectfully say: fuck off. Safe Access planned, so keep up to date on our 法律アドバイス others, then you are a co-tenant. Your dispute, speak to your local Tenants Zones Passed which is a huge step in the Facebook page and come to the NDA on rights are “equal and several”, so you Advice and Advocacy Service or an Level 1, Wentworth Bldg, University of Sydney path to safe, legal and free abortion in Wednesday. We have a solicitor who speaks could be held liable for the actions of SRC Caseworker to find out what to NSW. We organised a vigil for Eurydice Yours in rage, 02 9660 5222 | src.usyd.edu.au Cantonese, Mandarin & Japanese solicitor @ src.usyd.edu.au your housemates. However, you are do. Dixon, Qi Yu and all victims of gendered The University of Sydney Women’s ACN 146 653 143 | MARN 1276171 also covered under the Residential Liability limited by violence in Sydney. 7 women have Collective a scheme approved under Professional Tenancies Act. Abe * This service is provided by the Students’ Representative Council, Standards Legislation. since been murdered, most recently University of Sydney and is available to USYD undergraduate students. - 24 - ///// hunny /////////////// USYD’S SHITTY EASTER SHOW CONTINUES TO NOT DIE “IF THEY REALLY WANTED TO WELCOME STUDENTS THE even smarter, immune to gaffes or snarky LEAST THEY COULD DO IS HIRE THE WILD MOUSE” ANDY & DOON’S Honi articles about his selection. He even raises ducklings. Fucking ducklings. Jack Savage Bruno Dubosarsky Potato-on-a-Stick Eater Of course, some things are just too good to be true. Rumour has it the Dean was Foreign Bang-espondent Once again the University of the crowd. “Sure, you could pet a HOT BOX made in a lab, with the most literate Sydney Union has decided to go bunch of dirty pigs or whatever, Enter the Hot Box Paulines conspiring to create the perfect G’day readers, it’s your Bang Guru Jack here. I’m forward with its annual cheap but why do that when you could backstory. Agents placed deep inside the coming to you live from the great country of Europe imitation of the incomparable be in the running to get a pre- Tired of Arts / Law elites mediating colleges by the Hot Box have passed on to give you the sauciest tips on the what’s what of hot Australiana showground event. loaded $50 debit account by MUST-JOIN your weekly news hit? Frustrated with thick dossiers chronicling the plot, with Continental banging. Shitty Easter Show (also known signing up for Australia’s most their fake news liberal bias? Sick of over a dozen writers carefully curating as O-Day) commenced to no blue bank!” said ANZ Stall SOCIETIES BNOCs having their activities chronicled their automaton’s script. This week I present to you the Top 5 most sensual applause at 9am on Monday, Representative/Hack, Grace with minimal slander? The Hot Box tells places to do a super spicy bang in the city of Paris July 30th. Across the amateurish Harding. you what’s happening before it’s even Inorganic reach - fake fairground, students braced But you’d be hard-pressed to • Centrist Society happened—even where it never has or themselves for disappointment, actually hear Grace as the sounds profiles at the USU will happen. We tell you what you really 5. Champs-Élysées ready to receive showbags filled of the Great Hall’s carillion want to know: who’s fucking? The Hot with stress balls, no-name brand clashed awfully with Top 40 • CAPS (Caps and Pingaz There’s something in the San Pellegrino Banging on the busiest road in Europe sounds hot, Box is a homage to previous Honi eds who condoms and a distinct lack of hits blaring from the Red Bull over at the USU, with a recent proliferation and believe me it is. (Doing one of those sexes under Society) cut the bullshit and committed to sharing Bertie Beetles. stall, providing an appropriate of fake social media profiles purporting the Arc du Triomphe is particularly erotic.) the stories that really matter. “I pay $75 yearly for the hope soundtrack for what proved to to represent USU-affiliated figures. Noah that I’ll get to ride on the Mega be another heartless, joyless and • Anime Fans (But Not Vaz, editor of Pulp, is represented by Drop, but somehow the USU lumberjackless event we must Like, “Those” Fans) Report: New St Paul’s dean @noahvazmemes on Instagram, while 4. Musée d’Orsay always falls short. Maybe I outta accept will never die. TOO perfect, created in lab former USU Vice President Esther Shim mega DROP out of uni!” quipped “Yeah O-Day sucks but maybe Society is allegedly one half of satirical page If marble and oil is your thing, then I recommend USyd Comedian, Baron Chen. it’s just not for me anymore. It’s Heads were spinning in the Honi office @pennyandjulia.fm. It’s not an uncommon this museum to you, you sick fuck. Doing a raunchy And Chen isn’t alone. In for all the little first years who • IBS (Irritable Bowel over the break when news broke that St thread at the USU, with former Pulp doggy underneath a priceless Van Gogh will make you 2018, over 780,000 fun-lovers still get excited for five percent Paul’s College has appointed Antone editor Josh Wooller thought to be one of cum real big. attended the Sydney Royal discounts on twelve dollar Society) Martinho-Truswell as the inaugural the sole remaining active contributors to Easter Show, while the Sydney sandwiches,” says mature age Dean of Graduate House. The 27-year- a Facebook page mocking this venerable University Shitty Easter Show student Theo Molins, 23. old Californian lifeguard-cum-water- institution. It’s even rumoured that a 3. Basilica of Sacré-Cœur earlier this year had a measly I guess we just have to come to • SRC Campaign polo-player-cum-cricketer-cum-Oxford high-ranking USU figure is one of the attendance of only 21,000 terms with the fact that O-Week Preparation Society scholar is suspiciously perfect, seemingly two masterminds behind viral Instagram This famous Basilica high up in the Montmartre students. The USU clearly needs and O-Day just ain’t what the custom built to guide the besieged account @i.am.gia.at.splendour. region of Paris offers stunning panoramic views of the to pick up their fucking game. Easter Show used to be. institution through unsteady waters. famous city—and also a good location for you to do However, there are dissenters in In many ways he’s The Rock, but possibly some hot missionary. For the kinkiest of you, slaying that genital indoors, just remember to take off your hat. You can still do a bang, and also respect people.

MID-YEAR 2. In a Baguette This is for you pros out there: doing some sizzling INTAKE fuck inside a freshly baked baguette. Getting inside it is a challenge, but once you’re in you’ll never want to EXCITED TO get out! (Until you climax.) MEET PEOPLE 1. Eiffel Tower

WHO ALREADY This seems an obvious choice for fuck-making in Paris—yeah, if you’re an amateur sexer! I’m not HAVE FRIENDS talking about doing a bang under it, or even on the first balcony. My horny friends, I’m talking about pumping gens on the point of the tower. This is the pg. 9 >> best cum in Paris. GUARANTEED.

- 26 - - 27 - HONI SOIT VOL 90 SEM 1 WEEK 13

Happy Better Honi How to 12Science and& Gardens Stop6 Adani