The Tusker Tribune The Student Newspaper of Somers Middle School

Issue Number 25 http://somersschools.org/domain/995 Spring 2018 7th Grade Zoo Trip Means Spring’s Here!

By Ezra Weinstein it; we turned to see one huge lion that had a Tusker Tribune Staff beautiful mane and a fierce look on its face. Most people know that the sev- The lion was so cool but something was wrong. enth grade is going to be going to the The lion would not stop looking at me. It Bronx Zoo on Friday, April 20 to see stared and stared. I kept glancing at the lion the animals. Sounds like fun, right? and he did not stop staring. I believe it will be an amazing expe- Weinstein’s About five minutes later, he pranced rience for us students. Even though I have Wisdom over to me and put his paw on the glass and only been to the Bronx Zoo once, I can I put my tiny hand on the glass. It covered even tell you it is extremely probably ¼ of his humungous fascinating to watch the ani- paw. A friendship between boy mals in their habitats. and lion had been just awak- At the zoo, there are ened. I heard my mother call to some exotic animals there like me to say that we had to leave; it tigers, lions, and other animals was sad to see the lion look at you do not see every day. That me. He looked lonely as soon as I one time I went to the Bronx took that first step away from Zoo with my family, something him. weird happened. I was about 6 Remember to get your years old at the time and loved group of 5 or less and writes your animals, which I still love to names down on a slip of paper. this day. My family and I were You can drop them off in Mrs. walking down to the lion exhib- Manko’s room. Can’t wait! State Tests Add Another Layer of Stress for Kids

By David Allan two two-day state tests in the Tusker Tribune same month! If you can opt out Staff of the State test, then I would Are the suggest you do. NYS tests worth When you walk into taking? Well some people school, you will have to find your may say of course, and I testing room and sit there for 2 don’t get that. whole HOURS and that is bor- Who wants to take ing, if you finish early, because a test that doesn’t even all you can do is sit and wait. mean anything and do it? You can't have any smartwatch- The math and ELA tests es like Apple watches because are each two days days apparently you can have some LONG and it used to be 3 answers on there and be cheat- days. While it’s good that the test is shorter now, ing. the grade you get on the state test doesn’t do any- But on the bright side you can bring in thing. It used to give the teacher a grade on how some candy to eat during the test. well they teach their class, but it doesn’t do that The state tests are the stupidest thing I've any more. ever heard of and they should get rid of them and We already must take a ton of tests and research a new way to score how well we’re learn- each year, we have to stress out even more about ing. The Tusker Tribune Page 2 The Student Newspaper of Somers Middle School Purloined Pass Predicament

By Aleksiana Rukaj "Ms. K!" Catherine started. "Lovely to see Tusker Tribune Staff you here, walking the halls of the seventh-grade "Do you think she'll notice?" Cathe- wing!" rine said, glancing at the lunch room moni- Smooth. tor as we casually walked out of the room. "Pass?" "Only if you keep talking! SHUT UP!" I Uh-oh. She had her hand out like she want- whisper-shouted. We were trying to leave the cafe- ed to examine our pass. teria without a pass. "O-our names aren't on it." I stammered. "Ok, ok." "Yeah, the monitor was in a rush, so she We needed to get to our locker to go see if just gave us any purple piece of paper that she had the new Selina Gomez tickets went on sale yet. in her sight-line," Cat finished up for me. Whenever we asked a monitor, they would ask why "Which monitor was this?" I could feel my we needed to go to our lock- body shaking. Could she notice? ers and we didn't have a "I don’t know, her name tag good enough excuse. was flipped over!" Catherine was a We finally made it good liar. through the doors without "Oh. Ok. Have a nice day being noticed. Catherine girls." I had a sense of relief, but threw her hands up in ex- not for long. citement and started danc- "Wait. Describe this monitor ing. for me." "Don't celebrate too I felt like I had peed my soon," I said demandingly. pants! "Oh, right. I forgot "Uh.... She was t-tall and that we still don't have a skinny. Oh, and she had purple pass!" she exclaimed. nails," I felt like I was trying to get "How are we sup- away with murder. posed to get upstairs, pass "Ok, that will be all ladies," the principal's office, walk around the front desk She walked away, but I waited for her to turn the and go to our lockers?" I cried. This may not seem corner to start breathing. like a big deal to you, but if we are walking the "That was another close one," I sighed. halls (not including passing time for each class) "Too close. Our regular passes would have a without one of those purple passes in our hands, line for our names and another line for a signa- we are dead. ture." I smiled at her. She could be so oblivious "Relax," Cat said, nonchalantly pulling out sometimes. a piece of paper that was identical to the color of At her locker we grabbed a fine-line marker the passes. and a ruler and made two lines identical from each "Niiice!" I complimented. Right then, Mr. other. Campladince walked by. He scouted us with an "I don't want to forge a signature!" I yelped disapproving look in his eyes. Catherine threw up as Cat handed me the piece of paper. her hand to indicate that she had a pass. I hesi- "No! Just write 'staff' on it!" tantly did, too. He then walked away. I still felt iffy, but I went with it anyway. "Close one," I sighed. My hand was shaking like a little kid doing the Luckily, Mrs. Carathing (the principal) was- shimmy dance. n't in her office. We passed by calmly. We tried to Cat grabbed the sheet from my hands and keep our distance from the front desk but failed. wrote our names. I grabbed my phone (hands still "Where you off to ladies?" Ms. Sanlight shaking) and clicked the home button. I searched called out to us. IHEARTRADIOSGSALE.NET. We both held our "Lockers ma'am," I quickly said. breath. Once I clicked the go button, I felt like I "Passes?" she questioned. We lifted our was going to faint. hands, so she could see our fraud passes. Cat read what the phone said allowed and "Alrighty," she winked at us. She was nice. her voice arose as she got farther into the para- Too bad we had to do this to her. graph. "We are clear!" I exclaimed. I flashed a "iHeart Radio presents $80 tickets for the smile which quickly became a serious look as the Selina Gomez tour!" As soon as she read that, I roughest and meanest teacher walked the halls. clicked the 'check' button that I had waited to click "We're done!" Cat said through her teeth. all weekend. "Catherine, Emma," Ms. Karathaleed Continued on page 3 smiled. The Tusker Tribune Page 3 The Student Newspaper of Somers Middle School Bored: The Poem (An Ode to Post-ELA Exam Inactivity)

By Noah Volkman Tusker Tribune Staff B O During the NYS Test, I wrote a page-long R poem about how bored I was on the scrap E paper I was given. This is that poem... D

I am bored. I'm just SO BORED. I am so bored. Please! I am beyond bored. Please! Not 'board' as in 'board game', but BORED. BORED! Bored! I am bored now Bored, Bored, Bored. I was bored an hour ago And I will be bored for the next hour, if not more. I'm almost out of space on this paper. I'm bored when I'm hungry. Save me before I run out of space. I'm bored when I'm freezing and shoveling snow Oh my lord, it's the last line and I'm nowhere in April (which I shouldn't be). close to leaving! I'm bored when I do my homework. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I am extremely bored, and I can't do anything about it.

I am just so bored. Bored out of my mind. So bored. Please help by calling 1-800-IMB-ORED Or order online for $19.95 + $9.95 shipping and handling for some of your own boredom. Could I be more bored? Yes. Oh, yes, I can. It's completely and entirely impossible for me to be more bored. But by "more bored", I only mean a little more bored Because I am already extremely bored.

On a bored scale of 1 to 10 I'm at a 23 right now. Get me out of this rat trap! Bored. Oh, so bored. Bored, bored. Bored, bored, bored. Come aBORED on the S.S. Boring, if you dare.

Passes off by Ms. K, who snuck up behind us and had a Continued from page 2 monitor by hand and asked, "Is this her?" I looked at Cat and gulped. We were done! My phone lit up once more and said 'you "I told you already, Caroline! I didn't write any have purchased Selina Gomez tickets fo-' and passes to any students today!" the monitor whim- then it glitched out. pered. "Am I going to lose my job?" she whispered "What is going on?" Catherine asked sassi- to herself. ly. The phone screen changed to 'the Selina "This must be a mix up!" I started, but Gomez tickets are all sold out, better luck next then realized that this monitor had purple nails time- iHeart Radio. and she was tall and skinny. "This can't be happeni-" I was rudely cut UH-OH! The Tusker Tribune Page 4 The Student Newspaper of Somers Middle School Music Report

By Noah was special. I can assume Volkman the album is coming this Tusker Tribune summer. Staff Nice for What - Drake

Barbie Tingz, Chun- GOTTI – 6ix9ine Li – Nicki Minaj Up and coming rapper Last time Nicki Minaj 6ix9ine has a deluxe edi- released music was in tion of his album DAY69 February 2017, with three new singles featuring coming out tomorrow Drake and Lil Wayne. Hopefully now that it has with a been about a year since Minaj said her new al- new bum would drop, it'll come out track called "GOTTI". Could it soon. be a diss to Yo Gotti? I guess Chun-Li - Nicki Minaj we'll never know because 6ix9ine is facing 3 years in jail. Take DAY69 in. It could be Nice For What – Drake 6ix9ine's last album for a while. I think that by the time he's out Drake's second hit this year of jail, people would've forgotten with producer Murda Beatz about him.

All’s NOT Normal . . . The Tusker A Mystery Tribune Staff

Juliana Spano By Juliana Spano David Allan Tusker Tribune Staff Ezra Weinstein You wake up. Aleksiana Rukaj Continue your morning Noah Volkman as usual but, it's not your usual morning. Your whole town in under a lockdown. No one is aware why ex- cept the mayor who is contem- plating whether to tell the whole town that there is some type of chemical in the air and a single breath taken outside could kill. It seems as if no one lives in this town. No cars, no peo- ple, no nothing, just houses and people peering out their win- The Tusker Tribune is featured online dows trying to spot any sign of danger moving through their and is published weekly (except dur- ing school vacations) on the Somers town. Middle School Website. It is entirely The kids are nervous, they are confused. They want to student-written by 6th, 7th and 8th go to school and see their friends, but they can't. They are con- grade students from Somers Middle School fined to their homes until going outside will not kill you. 250 Route 202 The mayor is mad, mad that it took three people to get Somers, NY, USA. killed to realize that anyone who would walk outside would Any SMS student is eligible to write die. How did this happen? Why is this happening? stories. If interested, please e-mail Advisor Dean Then he turned on his TV and realized the whole coun- Pappas at try was under lockdown and no one knew why this chemical [email protected] was invading us. Everyone except for him.