The Seventh Annual Garden Barbecue This Sunday at 6:00 pm See Page 5

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INSIDE FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK A SPECIAL KOTEL VISIT Organizing 101 BY LARRY GORDON Raizy Goldberg 18 MindBiz Natural Growth Esther Mann, LMSW 31 On the surface, it does not Israel-U.S. relationship over A Squirrel Saga look like Barack Obama is the next year or so. Hannah Reich Berman 36 going to be the most favorite A man who is most able to President of the United States assess the current diplomatic P h

To Boldly Go o

that Israel has ever had to deal jockeying for position is t o B

Brian Shtundel 44 y

with. His talk about being Malcolm Hoenlein, the Exec- Y a i r H

honest with Israel for its own utive Vice-Chairman of the o f f The Train Of Life m a

good, even if it hurts, and the Conference of Presidents of n Rabbi Dr. Simcha Y. Cohen 67 demand that all settlement Major American Jewish Organ- activity come to an absolute izations. He’s dealt with many Monday morning at the Kotel, the worshipers were treated to a visit from Maran Rav Yosef Sholom Elyashiv, shlita (seated). It is Rav Elyashiv’s practice and immediate halt does not presidents, secretaries of state, to visit the Kotel close to the time of Shavuos. bode well for the future of the While at the Kotel, he briefly exchanged greetings with the Kotel Rav, Continued on Page 6 Rav Shmuel Rabinowitz, and recited a number of perakim in Tehillim. PLAYDATE PROTOCOL HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE Affordable Yeshiva B Y BENNY TAMIM prised and disappointed about the way the boys had spent Felderman-Kosoff Wedding Six-year-old Avi was invited their time, but did not mention BY LARRY GORDON down the road. Now the focus See Page 42 to a classmate’s house for a anything to the other child’s is on saving wherever and few hours on a Sunday after- parents, not wanting to embar- There’s been a shift in the whenever possible. Not only noon. His mother was rass them. But the next time global economic jet stream. has refraining from spending acquainted with the family and that friend called to get togeth- Where the winds of wealth money become necessary, it is knew them to be quality peo- er, an excuse was fabricated. once blew, there is now a new now also fashionable. ple. Sunday evening when she When we invite someone emphasis on frugality and A financial publication picked him up, she asked Avi else’s child over to our home, prudent spending. Call it, if recently reported that con- what the boys did together. we are assuming responsibil- you will, a financial storm. sultants who help corpora- “We watched such a good ity. Each set of parents has Once, companies unquestion- tions to function on less are movie! It was PG-13!” was the slightly different standards ingly sought out projects to now flourishing. The report reply. Avi’s mother was sur- allocate millions of dollars for, Continued on Page 17 in the hope of some profits Continued on Page 14

Rav Kook on Iran See Page 57 Ohel Grand Opening A Modicum ACCEPTANCE

Of Modesty Another Mother’s Musings BY RABBI AVI BY PHYLLIS J. SHAFRAN L UBIN

In one of his wonderful They were all there—men, collections of essays (The women, and children. The Youngest Science: Notes of a very old along with the very Medicine-Watcher), the late young. All were present— physician Lewis Thomas tells wall-to-wall people—waiting of a highly successful doctor in anticipation for the big Yeshiva Gedolah of Five Towns Ohel opened a new Regional Family Center in Far Rockaway. Ohel provides annual breakfast. a wide array of counseling services for the greater Five Towns and Far Continued on Page 13 Continued on Page 11 See Page 53 Rockaway community. See Page 50

CANDLE LIGHTING June 5 – 8:04 PM June 12 – 8:08 PM See Page 6 2 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 3 4 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 5 FROM THE EDITOR Minister Netanyahu; their agenda FEATURES Continued from Front Cover from the outset of his administration has been to do what they can to and prime ministers, and he possesses a unseat him from office as soon as is Around The Five Towns 48 P.O. BOX 690 LAWRENCE, NY 11559 unique insight into what is being said on politically feasible. 516-984-0079 both sides, how it is being said, and At the same time, Hoenlein is Ask The Sensei [email protected] [email protected] what the true meaning of many of these intrigued by the effort to portray Warren Levi 46 statements really is. Israel as “intransigent” in the face of LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDON Publisher/Editor Managing Editor Over the phone from his office in U.S. demands to halt settlement Classified Ads 70 YOSSI GORDON, YOCHANAN GORDON New York on Tuesday, Hoenlein told building. “Israel has already agreed Sales Managers us that he feels at this juncture that not to establish or build new settle- Daf Yomi Insights Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow 59 CHANA ROCHEL ROSS the seemingly evolving crisis in U.S.- ments and has also agreed to evacu- Editorial Assistant Israel relations is “being overblown and quite possibly intentionally so by The Dish SIDI BARON Elke Probkevitz 29 YAKOV SERLE the media, including some in the JERRY MARKOVITZ Jewish media, as well as elements in “Where was the Five Towns Simcha Sales Representatives the administration.” Sol Lawner 42 SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTIC Mr. Hoenlein’s perspective on administration’s reaction Chief Copy Editor Copy Editor these issues does not simply come Insights On The Torah CONTRIBUTING EDITORS about reflexively. His assessment of to Abbas’s statement Hannah Reich Berman, Anessa V. Cohen, Rabbi Yanki Tauber 32 Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg, Toby Klein Greenwald, the unfolding situation is filtered that he will not enter R’ Ben Tzion Shafier 36 Rabbi Yair Hoffman, Miriam Horowitz, through many years of experience Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky, Shmuel Katz, along with important contacts at talks with Israel until The Legendary . . . Phyllis J. Lubin, Esther Mann, Rochelle Miller, high levels of the administrations . . . Danny O’Doul 20 Martin Mushell, Elke Probkevitz, Naomi Ross, the Netanyahu people Rachael Schindler, Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow, both here and in Israel. “I can tell you this: I don’t sleep at night Letters To The Editor Eli Shapiro, Ari Sher leave office?” 55 DOV GORDON, ELISHEVA ELEFANT because of some of these issues that Staff Graphic Artists have come to the fore, but I can also Luach 8 IVAN NORMAN, IRA THOMAS tell you that it is not quite as bad as Staff Photographers it sounds,” he says. ate and dismantle illegal outposts,” MindBiz Esther Mann, LMSW 31 FRANKEL & CO. Hoenlein says that he feels that in Hoenlein says. “The issue of natural Design & Production some instances President Obama’s growth in the settlements is a non- comments are being purposely dis- issue for a number of reasons,” he Real Estate TALIYE CORLEY Anessa V. Cohen 30 Art Director torted by some in the media as well insists. He adds that it is clear to the SARAH GREENBAUM as by left-leaning organizations in administration that halting natural That’s The Way It Is! Assistant Art Director Israel and those who do their bidding growth building is not possible and in Hannah Reich Berman 37 The Five Towns Jewish Times is an independent weekly news- here in New York and Washington. contravention to agreements reached paper. Opinions expressed by writers and columnists are not These groups, such as J Street, New with the Bush administration. necessarily those of the editor or publisher. We are not Travel 44 responsible for the kashrus or hashgachah of any product or Israel Fund, and Peace Now, are establishment advertised in the Five Towns Jewish Times. focused on trying to rattle Prime Continued on Page 8

6 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 7 FROM THE EDITOR Continued from Page 6

And honoring past agreements is one of the usual sticking points in this process, as no agreement can be satisfactorily reached if every time there is a change in governments the process gets rolled back to the start. The Palestinians can hope and push for Israel to evacuate 300,000 people who are living in Judea and Samaria, but not only is that impossible as these settlement communities grow, but it has been impossible for quite a number of years already. “If the Obama administration was so surprised by Netanyahu’s refusal to agree to a two-state solution and ceasing natural growth,” Malcolm Hoenlein says, “then where was the administration’s reaction to Mahmoud Abbas’s statement that he will not enter talks with Israel until the Netanyahu people leave office?” Certainly the Abbas position, as it was articulated after his meeting with President Obama, is even more

CALENDAR LUACH June 5 – June 13 ZIP Code: 11516

13 Sivan Friday, June 5 Daf yomi: Bava Metzia 41 Z’manim*: Earliest tallis/tefillin: 4:18 am Sunrise: 5:25 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:33 am Gr’a 9:09 am Candle Lighting: 8:04 pm 14 Sivan – Shabbos Saturday, June 6 Shabbos Parashas Naso Avos: Ch. 1 Shabbos ends**: 9:13 pm 72 min. 9:36 pm 20 Sivan Friday, June 12 Daf yomi: Bava Metzia 48 Earliest tallis/tefillin: 4:16 am Sunrise: 5:24 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:33 am Gr’a 9:09 am Candle Lighting: 8:08 pm 21 Sivan – Shabbos Saturday, June 13 Shabbos Parashas Beha‘alosecha Avos: Ch. 2 Shabbos ends**: 9:18 pm 72 min. 9:39 pm * from MyZmanim.com ** add a few minutes for tosefos Shabbos according to your minhag.

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FROM THE EDITOR formation of the Palestinian come to terms and simply agree And even if there is a in Israel’s interest, and it Continued from Page 8 Authority in the late 1990s. to disagree on the issue of nat- divide over this issue, it is didn’t matter that the U.S. She was hugging them in ural growth inside the already not necessarily unprece- had to be extra nice to Saudi problematic than Netan- Ramallah while they were plan- established settlements? And, I dented. Back during the Arabia for whatever reason. yahu’s stance on the two- ning deadly attacks against asked Mr. Hoenlein, what hap- George Bush The First pres- The U.S. threatened and for state solution. “I think the Jews sitting in restaurants and pens if there is just this funda- idency, the president and his a while did in fact withhold administration was caught cafés in Jerusalem. mental disagreement between then Secretary of State, loan guarantees that were sup- off guard by the Abbas The feeling by many is that Israel and the U.S.? The truth James Baker, were on a tear posed to help Israel absorb up remarks,” Hoenlein said. instead of using her knowledge is, Mr. Hoenlein says, that about Israel bringing settle- to a million Russian immi- More upsetting and unnerv- of the largest Jewish communi- nothing particularly drastic will ment building to a complete grants in the aftermath of the ing than the highlighted differ- ty outside of Israel to ameliorate occur if the two parties dis- halt. The prime minister collapse of Communism. ences between Israel and the the tensions between Israel and agree. It’s just that Israel and then (in the early 1990s), Secretary Baker tried his hand U.S. on the peace process were the U.S., Clinton deliberately the U.S. have so many common was Yitzchak Shamir. The at shuttle diplomacy between the remarks by Secretary of chose words that were meant to and natural interests, it would Shamir approach was both Arabs and Israelis, trying to State Hillary Clinton, who exacerbate the situation. be a pity if that relationship is steadfast and forthwith: He called for a freeze on all settle- So, can Israel and the U.S. tarnished by this disagreement. did whatever had to be done Continued on Page 10 ment building—and she specif- ically mentioned East Jerusalem as part of this—and made special mention of the natural growth issue, as if she were revealing to the world her special insight into the process. To many, the remarks by Mrs. Clinton featured aspects of betrayal, considering the close relationships she has struck with key members of the New York Jewish community during her years of service as a senator representing New York. “Her remarks were completely unnecessary and way over the top,” Hoenlein said. He agreed that her remarks last week were indeed comparable to her famous kiss of Suha Arafat, then the wife of PLO terror leader Yasser Arafat when Mrs. Clinton and President Bill Clinton visited Gaza after the

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 9 FROM THE EDITOR States would feel it was important to Bookson family); he gave his heart Continued from Page 9 back this stalwart ally.” My Friend, and soul to his sweet and very per- For now, Malcolm Hoenlein sonable children, to each of them a forge some kind—any kind—of progress believes that being at loggerheads over My Chavrusa: complete heart; and he gave his toward peace. For a while, each time Mr. the issue of natural growth is a definite extraordinary mind, heart, and soul Baker landed in Tel Aviv, Shamir made cloud but certainly one with a silver to his loyal ba’alei batim. It is no certain to announce the establishment lining. “The disagreement today could The Radziner Rebbe, wonder to me that his manner of of permission to build new homes in a be about sovereignty over Jerusalem or death was through his heart. new area of the West Bank. Washington over the borders of the State of Israel,” HaRav Yaakov Lainer That year, Reb Yaakov introduced seethed, but the relationship, which is he says. He points out that for now it’s me to some of the classic but very dif- truly based on so much more, survived. not over those vital issues but over BY RABBI NOSSON DOVID ficult sefarim of the Izbitze-Radzine Regarding the now famous National whether a family can build an addi- RABINOWICH dynasty: Mai HaShiloach of the Public Radio interview where Mr. tional room to their home to accom- founder, Rebbe Mordechai Yosef of Obama said that it’s important that the modate the arrival of a new child. On the fifth day of Iyar, just about a Izbitze (d. 1854), Bais Yaakov and Sefer U.S. be honest with Israel to an extent If these weren’t real issues that month ago, a very special, young, bril- Hazemanim of his son, Rebbe Yaakov that might even be painful, Mr. seem to dominate the discussion on liant, warm, and caring talmid Leiner (d. 1879), Sod Yesharim of Hoenlein points out that it’s important the world stage, they would be almost chacham tragically and suddenly Rebbe Gershon Henoch, the Ba’al to listen and discern the fine points in silly. For Malcolm Hoenlein and passed away. True, he was also the Ha’Techeles (d. 1891). I had thought the interview. In parts of the interview American Jewish leaders at the Radziner Rebbe and a wonderful rav, the Sfas Emes was too difficult for me that were not widely reported in the Conference of Presidents, there may but the tragedy is so devastating even but these were even more challenging. general press, Hoenlein says, the pres- be some hard, tension-filled days without these additional appellations. He had no problem with any of these ident talked about the Palestinians’ ahead. The good news is that this type After I got married in 1977, I works. Reb Yaakov also knew the obligations in any peace effort. The of behavior is cyclical. If you think that spent many Shabbosos for a few sefarim of the “kohen” really well, as fact is that reciprocity is required as Mr. Obama is trying to move really fast years with my beloved father-in-law, his beloved rosh yeshiva, HaGaon Rav part of the Bush “Road Map” of 2004. on the Middle East, you may be right. Rav Shmuel Hoch, shlita, who has Hutner, zt’’l, used to coin them. This includes putting a stop to the But that’s only because he has a rather been the gabbai of the Radziner Beth Although Reb Yaakov was totally anti-Israel incitement in the schools small window of opportunity here. By Hamedrash for just about 50 years. familiar with the Chassidic thought of and mosques and cracking down and the end of the year, he has to begin That is when I first enjoyed the his illustrious ancestors, he was first dismantling terror groups, but Abbas is worrying about the midterm congres- tiferes of Radziner Chassidus but, and foremost a lamdan, in the style too weak a leader to produce results on sional election, where he wants to more importantly, when Reb Yaakov and spirit of the Rebbe Gershon either matter. keep a strong Democratic majority. became my friend—a friendship that Henoch, who also wrote the classic In that same radio interview, Obama Real support for Israel in Congress is lasted exactly 32 years. 32 is the Sidrei Taharos, Ma’mar Sefunei also said: “I would also say that given still very strong. As the election numerical value of leiv, and Reb Temunei Chol, Ma’mar Pesil Techeiles, past statements surrounding Israel, appears on the horizon, the president Yaakov was all heart! He gave of his and other lomdishe works. Reb Yaakov the notion that they should be driven will have to back off on his criticism of heart to properly honor his father, had a phenomenal memory and a very into the sea, that they should be anni- Israel. After all, Middle East peace is Reb Mordechai Yosef (d. 1991) and sharp, incisive, and inquisitive mind. hilated, that they should be obliterat- one thing; politics is something com- to his beloved mother, the rebbetzin But even more so than Reb Gershon ed—the armed aggression that’s been pletely different. O (d. 1995); he gave his heart to his Henoch, Reb Yaakov felt especially directed toward them in the past—you wonderful rebbetzin, Miriam, can understand why not only Israelis Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at shetichyeh (of the Torah-true Continued on Page 27 would feel concerned, but the United [email protected].

10 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Mother’s Musings Continued from Front Cover moment. They were prepared yet nervous. Would the children keep quiet? Would everyone be able to hear? This had been spoken about for quite some time. From all corners they came. Everyone united in their need to be there—to hear the Divine words spoken in a clear voice. That moment in time came this past Shavuos morning, as it comes every year. In synagogues all across the world, the words were being spoken and were being heard and accepted by the con- gregants. Somehow this year was more meaningful to me. Not only did I have to hear the words for myself, I had to hear the words on behalf of my parents. My dad is still in the hospital, and my mom by his side. I prayed somehow that these words were echoing in the halls of Mercy Medical Center. I prayed that these commandments were being accepted by my parents in my dad’s hos- pital room, far away from shul. “Bihyos ha’boker vay’hi kolos u’vrakim—In the morning there was thunder and lightning.” The first day of yom tov began with pouring rain. How would I be able to get to shul with the children? I had already decid- ed that no matter what the weather would be, we would be at shul to hear the Ten Commandments. It rained relentlessly all night, and Friday morning the weather didn’t appear to improve. Somehow, shortly before shul started, the rains subsided. As Rivka, Yussie, and I (the rest of the troops were ahead of us) were walk- ing to Chabad of the Five Towns on Friday morning, we passed a man lean- ing against a building. Yussie turned to us and said, “Fire.” At first we didn’t understand what he meant. Then it came to us…Yussie had smelled the smoke of the man’s cigarette. “Don’t eat fire!” Yussie admonished. From the mouths of babes: Yussie understood in an instant what suppos- edly intelligent people don’t know— don’t eat fire. Life is strange. We have no control over what happens, and all we can do is try to do our best to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. We arrived at shul in the nick of time. The Torah was being read, and everyone had filled the shul to capac- ity. This was my first time hearing these words being read in the Chabad of the Five Towns, and you could feel the excitement in the room as the men, women, and children waited. The Jewish holidays are supposed to be like this. We are supposed to feel on Shavuos as if we are accepting the Torah as our ancestors did oh so many years ago at Mount Sinai. Tears came to my eyes as the words of the Torah were being read. How fortu- nate are we to be here at this moment in time, surrounded by people united in this feeling! No matter what level of Judaism a person might be on, we were all together in this room, in this shul, in this sanctuary of G-d, accept- ing His words. I know I have said it before, but I would be remiss if I did not say it again. Thank you, Chabad of the Five Towns.

Continued on Page 12 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 11 Mother’s Musings Continued from Page 11

Thank you for renewing my faith in G-d and in mankind. Much thanks to Rabbi and Rebbetzin Wolowik for caring for their congregants and making us all part of their family. The Chabad of the Five Towns family that we have acquired has given me and my immediate family much strength. The care given by Rabbi Geisinsky and his staff to Yussie each and every week at groups is tremendous. The training Yussie is getting in davening with children his own age is priceless. He opens the siddur at home now as he does Shabbos morning and points to the words reverently, even if he can’t actual- ly read them. The Wolowiks have taught us that we do not have control over what Hashem sends our way, but we can con- trol what we contribute to this world. Along these lines, I cannot spend enough time giving accolades to Chabad for creating the Friendship Circle, direct- ed by Batsheva Borenstein. The Sunday Circle events are fantastic, and even the siblings get to participate (for which Lea is very happy). The highlight of Yussie’s

Yussie had smelled the

smoke of the man’s

cigarette. “Don’t eat

fire!” Yussie

admonished.

school week is Tuesday night when he attends the Judaica Circle. This past Monday night (June 1) after returning from visiting my dad at the hospital, we quickly changed Yussie into his white shirt and black pants for his “night on the town.” He, along with his Judaica Circle classmates, performed at the Friendship Circle Volunteers Appreciation Night. I don’t think I stopped crying throughout the performance. Yussie always loves singing into a microphone, and Monday night he sang his heart out! Thank you, Batsheva, Morah Muki, Shira and Yael (our home volunteers), and all the Friendship Circle volunteers for giving so much of yourselves for all of our special children! We were all at Mount Sinai, accepting G-d’s com- mandments—the “special” and the “typ- ical.” Thank you to Chabad for acknowl- edging that we are all one people. And so, on Shavuos morning, both Yussie and Naftali were by my husband’s side, while my eldest daughter (she still doesn’t like to see her name in print), Rivka, Rochel, and Lea were by my side, as the words of the Ten Commandments were read in shul. We renewed our acceptance of G-d’s commandments, just as millions more around the world did. O

Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Rosenfeld & Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her husband Leonard and six children: Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea. She welcomes your questions and comments at [email protected]. 12 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Modesty Continued from Front Cover who was already a senior citizen back when Dr. Thomas’s father was an intern in New York’s Roosevelt Hospital. The elder doctor was renowned for his remarkable ability to diagnose typhoid fever, a common disease at that time and place. Trained before the medical profes- sion understood how disease spread, his method was to closely examine the tongues of patients. His ward rounds, the younger Dr. Thomas recounts, “were essentially tongue rounds.” Each patient would stick out his tongue for the doctor to pal- pate. Pondering its texture and irreg- ularities, he would diagnose the dis- ease “in its earliest stages over and over again” and turn out “a week or so later, to have been right, to every- one’s amazement.” The essayist wryly concludes: “He was a more productive carrier, using only his hands, than Typhoid Mary.” I was reminded of the account by another, more recent, example of the Law of Unintended Consequences— a report that New York’s elected offi- cials want to revoke the “Rockefeller Laws.” Enacted in 1973 as a popular response to the societal plague of narcotics use at the time, those statutes, championed by New York’s then-governor Nelson Rockefeller, imposed mandatory prison sentences for drug offenders. Similar laws were soon adopted elsewhere. Over the ensuing decades, though, the laws in other states were revoked, and now New York’s governor and legislative leaders have announced their intention to repeal many of the original Rockefeller Laws, giving judges the authority to send first- time nonviolent offenders for treat- ment instead of to prison. What provoked the abandonment of those drug laws was that in the wake of their enactment, both New York’s prison population and its per- centage of incarcerated drug offend- ers more than tripled. The attendant costs were not only financial but human: minorities and women were disproportionately affected, and recreational drug users who entered the prison system left it as hardened criminals. It is sobering to consider that our best-laid plans, even when born of sincere concern and seeming logic, can turn against us. The sobriety should impart, if nothing else, a modicum of modesty, a reluctance to feel as certain as we so often do that the paths we choose will lead where we want. There are, of course, certainties in life, deep convictions that we rightly embrace without reservation. Religious Jews, for instance, affirm that Creation has a purpose and that the goals of their own lives are defined by G-d’s will as communicat- ed through the Torah. We may also consider as nearly certain the meas- ured judgments in specific realms of others whom we believe to be wiser than we are, be they doctors,

Continued on Page 15 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 13 BAGEL STORE encountering difficulties finding Far Rockaway resident Eli Shapiro yeshivas in the Five Towns and Far Continued from Front Cover employment—have in common is the is the regional coordinator of the YU Rockaway, and I believe that most of impact on the economic health and effort, and over the last several months the assistance provided by YU so far said they are even expanding and look- solvency of our yeshivas and other he has been working closely with a has helped our yeshivas deal with ing to hire people to instruct others on communal institutions. This is where number of yeshivas in the Five Towns finances more effectively,” said Mr. how to get by on less. That may be true Yeshiva University’s School Afford- area, providing assistance in getting Shapiro during an interview in our nationwide and possibly even around ability Team comes into the picture. the schools adjusted to the new eco- offices last week. much of the world. But how is this “Our approach to dealing with what movement—to look inward and con- the school needs to adjust is data- serve—being dealt with here in our driven,” he said, “and is based on communities? research and a proven track record There have been a number of initia- that is effective.” Mr. Shapiro says tives undertaken communally during “We in the Jewish community are that a key feature of the Affordability the past year. Some are dealing with Team’s plan is teaching schools how people who found themselves under also enduring a crisis in to both conserve—which seems to be crushing credit-card or mortgage debt. the motto for the future—as well as to Some of the same groups deal with marshal their human resources. This those who have suddenly found them- community priorities.” means organizing the staffs and selves unemployed with few prospects boards of directors to be more of new jobs becoming available in their involved in and attentive to the professions over the near term. It is as schools’ pressing needs. if no industry has been spared. Working with yeshivas and day schools nomic realities out there. Mr. Shapiro, Those needs usually can be Attorneys and accountants, once around the country, the effort is, of who has a master’s degree in social described in two words: more money. thought to be in the securest of posi- course, focused on the New York area, work and is a doctoral candidate at the And that’s what the YU program is tions, have found themselves suddenly where there are a disproportionate Wurzweiler School of Social Work at determined to address. In the first on the outside looking in. number of American Jews and where a YU, is also a contributing editor for the stage, the objective is to conserve What these scenarios—whether good number of yeshivas are concen- Five Towns Jewish Times. “We’re work- resources through more efficient man- being overwhelmed by debt or trated as well. ing very closely with most of the agement where needed as well as through existing programs, such as government-funded energy initiatives by which marked savings for non-prof- it institutions can be realized. A meeting of 16 Five Towns yeshiv- as was convened at Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island on April 30 and featured presentations from the local energy companies with ideas for becoming more energy efficient in running these sometimes massive school buildings. Mr. Shapiro believes that by imple- menting some of these new ideas, the schools can realize a combined saving of more than $750,000. Dr. Scott Goldberg is the director of YU’s Institute for University–School Partnership, which formed the Affordability Team about two years ago. Energy efficiency is important and restoring government funding that risks being cut in these trying financial times is also important. At the end of the day, however, the major focus of this effort has to be generat- ing additional funds, both from the community that sends children to that yeshiva and from the school’s tradi- tional donor base. That brings us back to the ongoing debate about whether the time is now truly ripe to implement policies that restrict fundraising for “outside” insti- tutions. The issue once again emerges in light of the difficulty some local schools are having with fundamentals such as paying their teaching and administrative personnel in a timely fashion. At least three schools in the Five Towns are more than five months behind in payroll. Dr. Goldberg says that the Affordability Team is working on both short-term and long-term objectives to assist schools in repairing this increas- ingly difficult situation. “There defi- nitely is money out there,” says Dr. Goldberg, adding that it is just a mat- ter of being out there and “asking for the money in an organized and profes- sional way.” To that end, Dr. Goldberg feels that the boards of many of the schools— and we are talking about the Five

Continued on Page 16 14 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Modesty enthusiasts, such “free speech” does Continued from Page 13 not promote healthy, productive dis- agreement and discussion; it suffo- lawyers, or religious leaders. But to cates them. proclaim our own independent, per- Contemporary society suffers from sonal certitude about a political or a malnourishment of modesty. It is social position—to assume that any evident not only in the realm of the of us can know without question physical—in contemporary dress and that a particular political philosophy, mores—but in attitudes toward foreign policy, government official, issues, as well. There is so little that or piece of legislation is good (or any of us can truly know, yet so cer- bad)—is always, in the end, an exer- tain are so many of so much. cise in overreaching. Suffused with self-assurance, the To be sure, we have every right to cavalier march forward—their points make our personal analyses and to of view extended before them like take positions on such people and bayonets. Confident of the infallibil- things, to advocate what we think is ity of their judgment, the righteous- wise and to make the cases for our ness of their causes, and the dire opinions. But as we do, it is beneficial threat posed by others’ perspectives, to have in the back of our minds—or they generously share not only their perhaps the front—a recognition of conclusions but their ill will—every the fact that, for all our bright and bit as effectively as a doctor at a New best-laid logic, we might still…possi- York hospital once propagated a dif- bly…be…wrong. ferent disease. O And that realization is of more than philosophical import. It has a © 2009 Am Echad Resources. Rabbi Shafran is vital and practical ramification in director of public affairs for Agudath Israel of the realm of human interaction, America. along the lines of the Talmudic statement that “just as people’s faces all differ, so do their minds.” For it requires us to perceive those with different views as, well, people with WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? different views, not as illogical, intractable, irredeemable enemies of WE WANT TO KNOW! all that is good and right. Unfortunately, the media— E-MAIL US AT newsprint, airwaves, and cyber- [email protected] space—are saturated with precisely that latter sort of demagoguery. And contrary to the claims of some of its

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 15 BAGEL STORE Dr. Goldberg says that he under- ning and performance improvement Both Mr. Bloom and Dr. Goldberg Continued from Page 14 stands that if there is a community on the Affordability Team, will head up said that there were more schools in that sends their children in significant a fundraising seminar for school pro- the Five Towns and Far Rockaway that Towns here—are not efficiently utiliz- numbers to places like Lakewood, The fessionals and board members on wanted the consultation grant but at ing the abilities of their directors. One Mir in Israel, or Yeshiva University, Tuesday, June 23, at Yeshiva Ketana of this point could not be accommodated. of the vital components of utilizing a there is a valid argument that can be Long Island in Inwood. It will be the Their hope is that down the road they board of directors properly is to involve made about wanting to host a commu- first in a series of events, with a focus will be able to work with all the schools the board in the yeshiva’s fundraising nity fundraiser for that institution. “If on assisting schools to enhance their in the area. The desire of our yeshivas needs, he says, and to help identify the basis of the relationship with the fundraising capabilities in these trying to open themselves up to new ideas is prospective donors. school is that you attended there 15 or economic times. certainly an indicator of bold and inno- “I’d definitely say that in addition to 20 years ago,” Dr. Goldberg says, “then “Our research has found,” Mr. vative thinking as well as the profound experiencing a global economic down- that is an institution that a community Bloom said, “that fundraising is our impact the changing economic atmos- turn,” Dr. Goldberg says, “we in the should not be asked to support at this day schools’ and yeshivas’ most under- phere has had on us all. O Jewish community are also enduring a point in time.” developed resource.” He said that he crisis in community priorities.” He He says that overall, communities has found that approximately only 30 Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at says that the leaders in our communi- like the Five Towns should have a percent of board members donate [email protected]. ties—rabbis and laypersons—need to pecking order of priorities that goes their top charitable gift to the yeshiva take a stand and create an environ- like this: food, shelter, clothing, and on whose board they serve. Mr. Bloom ment where supporting local yeshivas Jewish education. “Our communities said that another idea for discussion at comes before any other charitable need quality Jewish education for our the seminar is the nature of the com- For the next issue, endeavor. children,” Dr. Goldberg said, “and that position of school boards. “I’ve found This very issue has been bandied education should be dispensed in an that these boards of directors at deadline for reserving about here in this paper and in other environment without financial pres- yeshivas are usually parent-dominat- ad space is forums over the years. The discussion sure.” ed, and that’s both good and bad.” He not only doesn’t bear any fruit or make Eli Shapiro, the regional coordina- says that it’s good because parents will Monday, June 8 any progress, but rather just rankles tor of the Affordability Team, said that display maximum dedication to the those involved until the issue once three local schools—HAFTR, TAG, schools that their children attend. at 5:00 P.M. gain fades away somewhere out of the and Yeshiva Ketana—have been award- But, Mr. Bloom adds, it’s also bad limelight. ed grants by YU that will come in the because they do not help grow the The thing that makes this such a form of an intense ten days of consul- board by bringing in other potential difficult issue to grapple with is how tation by the team. The award will donors to serve. All graphics for ads one defines what an outside-the-com- include analysis of both the financial “The unfortunate fact at this time is must be in by munity organization actually is. For and educational setup and operation that 95 percent of Jewish donors do example, we know that our local of the schools, with training of profes- not give to day schools or yeshivas,” Tuesday, June 9 yeshivas—whether we send our chil- sional staff to be more proactive with says Bloom. He adds that this is the dren there or not—desperately need boards in the fundraising realm. “Our major issue that needs both attention at 5:00 P.M. our financial support. But so do other yeshivas have the intellectual and change. “We have to illustrate to well-known institutions, whether in resources directly in front of them to potential donors that Jewish schools Lakewood, Brooklyn, or Israel, that we upgrade the fashion in which they have societal value and they develop have an affinity for as well as a rela- function,” Mr. Shapiro said. important leadership for future gener- Call 516-984-0079 tionship with. Harry Bloom, the director of plan- ations.”

16 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Playdate Protocol with you if they watched the cell-phone numbers. If you game on PlayStation?” getting restless and I had a Continued from Front Cover following DVD?” “Are you may be leaving the kids with a “Well, we don’t usually, but I lot to do in the kitchen, so I makpid on chalav Yisrael?” “Is babysitter, relative, or older guess it’s OK…it’s not too let them watch TV for about and sensitivities about expo- it all right if they walk around sibling, clear that with the violent, is it?” That answer an hour.” While it sounds sure, safety, or indulgences the corner to our neighbor’s parents too. If the children probably means they’re not polite on the surface, at that for their children. One fami- house?” “Can I give them are older and you plan to leave crazy about the idea, but point the other parent does- ly may allow some computer Shabbos party snacks?” “Does them on their own, even for a don’t want to inconvenience n’t really have the option to or video games but no TV or he sit in a booster seat?” few minutes, get permission you. It’s better to sense the comfortably object—the movies, while another allows If you plan on taking the for this as well. hesitation and choose a dif- damage has already been watching some DVDs but no children somewhere, it is Another tricky applica- ferent activity: “It sounds done, and it’s awkward to Internet surfing. Another common courtesy to first call tion: If you ask the parent if like you’re not thrilled about state disapproval then. family may have no problem the parents and ask if that is something is acceptable to it. I’ll try and get them to If you decide to serve a with most media entertain- OK with them too—even if it’s them and they reluctantly play in the yard instead.” meal while hosting, think of ment, but have an allergy sit- somewhere seemingly as say yes, read between the Also, asking after the fact is the other family as well. If the uation or a hang-up about innocuous as the local play- lines. “Is it all right with you not that helpful: “I hope you junk food. Some families eat ground—and then exchange if they play a Star Wars don’t mind, but they were Continued on Page 18 only chalav Yisrael or kemach yashan. Each family has dif- ferent rules about at what ages children can be left unsupervised or can walk over to another friend’s house. Some parents feel more strongly than others about avoiding germs, such as if a sibling is getting over a cold. And many people mis- takenly take for granted that we all share the same values, and are then frustrated when their values are not honored on playdates. A good rule of thumb when hosting a playdate is to ask a few questions that will be rel- evant at the onset, depending upon the age of the children and your planned activities for them. Some examples might include: “Does he have any allergies?” “Would it be OK

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 17 Playdate Protocol touch later as needed,” there are Continued from Page 17 some homes or situations where the time may be limited or the expecta- Organizing 101 kid came at 11:30 a.m., it’s safe to tions just different. It’s better to assume that lunch is part of the deal. establish the time frame in advance, But if it’s an after-school time, and rather than risk having your child BY RAIZY GOLDBERG notes don’t get signed and the school you’re serving chicken nuggets to your overstay his welcome. If you are bus has to wait a while. If she is kids at 5 o’clock, you may want to hosting a playdate that needs to be The closet with too many bags of doing the most important job in the check with your guest’s family to make contained, it’s preferable to say so in exciting new purchases lying on the world, then why does she feel so sure they don’t have plans to go for the invitation: “We’d love to have Avi floor, aching to join their peers ashamed and disappointed with her- pizza with Grandpa later. It seems come over for awhile, but I like to among the racks, but alas, there is no self when the odds and ends of her thoughtful to feed the friend, but it start winding things down at about room and there’s never any time; the life begin to fray? The front hall might be creating a problem for the 5:00 here.” That way it’s clear to front hall table drowning under this table is hers. parent later on, particularly if you’re everyone. In cases where no end time week’s mail, last week’s mail, The professional corporate raider serving fleishig. has been mentioned, it’s nice to call parashah sheets and permission slips, who has got it all together in her If your child is the one being invit- about an hour and a half into the broken crayons and one lone sock; other life at work, yet the pieces fall ed for the playdate, don’t hesitate to playdate, to check how it’s going and the garage that seemingly swallows around her at home. She functions graciously and casually volunteer your ask what time to come. screwdrivers, lightbulbs, roller beautifully and productively in the information: “Thank you so much for If you think this advice seems a lit- blades, and your daughter’s favorite Big World, yet on occasion doesn’t having him. He is allergic to nuts, and tle uptight, it might be that you are jacket; the mounds of sweet school feel at home in her own house. “I’m we don’t allow our kids to go online. I just a more relaxed parent or that your projects that seem to multiply at will; fantastic at what I do,” she thinks, hope it’s not too much trouble.” Some child tends to socialize with others and the insurance policy payments “so what is it about these four walls parents feel self-conscious to preempt whose rules are exactly like yours. But awkwardly strewn on the kitchen that makes me feel so inept?” The things that way, worried about offend- this is a prevalent issue, and it’s still counter—with coffee stains. garage is hers. ing or troubling their hosts. But in the better to err on the side of caution. Granted, a home with some minor The school projects and stained end, most hosts would rather know Most people will respect and appreci- issues. insurance premiums are universal and beforehand than risk endangering ate your sensitivity, even if they have Now think of it from a personal per- ironic in their tediousness and begging another child or upsetting his parents, no particular concerns. O spective: questions: “Where do I go? How long precluding future playdates. This is The busy mother of five whose pri- do you keep me? When can I be particularly important if there is a mary concerns for her family’s needs tossed? I am important, so why don’t health or safety concern, or if you You can upload your and schedules leave her little time for you respect me?” have rules that are unusual for the order in her personal sector. The items If I have just described your home community or school in which your digital photos and see them she grabs for herself in her daily quest or parts of it, you are not alone in your child socializes. Most parents are to fill their lists never quite make it frustration. The struggle against clut- happy to accommodate. printed in the weekly edition into her fashionable rotation, so she ter and the fervent desire to maintain Another considerate question to of the 5 Towns Jewish Times feels a bit wistful and wayward. The order in our environments is a daily ask your child’s host is: “What time closet is hers. concern. should I aim to pick him up?” While The cheery homemaker thrives on The point here lies in understand- much of the time the answer will be her children’s happiness with life. ing the connection between the something like “Don’t worry, he can www.5tjt.com/sendphotos The verve created in their playful Mess and the Mind. Clutter is clever stay the afternoon, and we can be in banter is one of fairytales, yet the in that it seems to mutate on its own

18 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES and condescend to us with- ronment, as every one is differ- ings and goings. And tackling place that represents your out saying a word. Just the ent. It may be a schedule that the garage can be a family- unique vision, with style and sight of it subliminally is not working and contributing friendly experience if every- function that will benefit all WHAT’S YOUR drowns our self-esteem. We to chaos, piles of papers that one chips in on a sunny who are lucky to live there work hard day and night to need permanent homes in a Sunday. Finally, a file cabinet with you. O OPINION? promote goodness and pro- file cabinet or the recycling with neatly marked files for ductivity at our various com- bin, or rooms that need to be every facet of life can be a WE WANT TO mitments, yet we are more functional and hard- girl’s best friend. Approached As a personal organizer from the Five reduced to feeling small and working to contain and control in manageable and realistic Towns, Raizy Goldberg works with clients to provide customized solutions KNOW! helpless in our battle against the business of our busy lives. chunks of motivated time and for taming everyday clutter. To the clutter our lives create. The closet can have a effort, any of these chal- increase overall functionality, goals E-MAIL US AT Eradicating the mess can revival with careful inspec- lenges, or one of your own, are to clear and redefine disorganized workspaces, refresh wardrobes piece improve the quality of both tion, attention, and creativity. can be solved in an interesting by piece to reinvent style options, and [email protected] our spaces as well as our The front hall table can and personal way. incorporate streamlined storage sug- gestions for any room in the house. psyches. Extracting unnec- sparkle using smart trays and Let this spring be the time She can be reached at 516-721-5765, essary items in all areas of bins to house the day’s com- you turn your home into a or at [email protected]. our lives releases burdens from our shoulders that we were not entirely aware we even shouldered. Maybe something always felt “off” but you were not aware of what the problem was. Through sorting and addressing our clutter, clari- ty will replace the static, and breeziness will fill the dark, foreboding corners. Chic and stylish solutions you never thought possible await when you think out of the box. The energy with which we berate ourselves for our foibles could, and should, be better used to employ a few simple tactics that in time will make us feel proud and happy to be home. The journey begins with identifying the specific pitfalls that lead to your cluttered envi-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 19 agree, as it would be pretty hard to muck things up more than the cur- No Apologies Necessary rent batch of diplomatic advisors has done already. Iran going nuclear, Hamas running rampant, and Hugo BY THE LEGENDARY er, now under bankruptcy protection— are now as plentiful as high-profile Chavez threatening to stop stocking DANNY O’DOUL the GM of the once-mighty apparel pardons doled out as generously as Hershey Bars at Citgo stations are all world. In fact, I am baffled as to why latkes on Chanukah by the Ford evidence of a global breakdown in The mint green claw that abruptly the president, who tools around the Administration. American power and influence. reached into my Mercury Grand world in an armor-plated limo made by To pick up on today’s wave of seri- Once, we Americans were a proud Marquis and shook my hand, was, the company he now proudly runs, al apologizing at the highest levels of people; today we are led by an two-to-one, not originally from the would not merely write a small check American government, you do not administration which is somewhat Five Towns, and, three-to-one, alien. and buy Hartmarx, as well. have to be a top student in Mr. less assertive than Neville Only moments before, a silver-lami- A sleek figure in his trademark dark Shield’s 7th grade Social Studies Chamberlain. We are plagued by nate spacecraft, approximately the suit, President Obama cut a stark class at HAFTR. My dear friend, Mr. more spiritual and moral injuries in size of a late model Smart Car, hov- relief to the white-robed and kafiya-ed Shields, just celebrated his birthday “Team Obama,” than physical dis- ered, serpentine, over the intersec- abilities affecting the New York tion of Carmen Avenue and Mets. All Team Obama is lacking is a Broadway for about four minutes reliever named “Putz.” before briefly landing on the side- Stay tuned for this entire 2009 walk in a haze of bluish carbonic U.S. Presidential Mea Culpa World smoke. But then, just as suddenly as We are led by an administration Tour, while it rolls through the it arrived, (at about 9:35 a.m. on German Republic and promises a Monday, June 1) the spherical inter- which is somewhat less assertive sold-out performance in Dresden, galactic vehicle was gone, and all right after a perfunctory afternoon that was left as evidence of its pres- performance at Buchenwald concen- ence was a 25% off coupon to the than Neville Chamberlain. tration camp. While this afternoon new Amazing Savings opening on show is expected to be short (as the Planet Lekvar-9. What I was left with president will have nothing to apolo- was a totally useless discount and a gize for), the Dresden concert is gear- puzzled astonishment of the kind Saudi king who, as the TV pundits with an in-class surprise bash hosted ing up to be a really big show. We are usually experienced following a press remarked, was as delicate as a ripe by those brilliantly hip tag-team expecting a veritable Schindler’s List conference by President Obama. plum and could not be left out for too party planners, Jesse and Daniel, of laments a la “We’re sorry for trying Speaking of President Obama, not long in the hot Saudi sun because of a/k/a “The Margareten Twins.” Many to end the vile Nazi regime with actu- more than 20 minutes ago I watched his advanced age. I waited with baited political experts believe that Mr. al action and not mere rhetoric.” On our esteemed leader exiting Air Force breath for the president to apologize Shields would make an excellent the plus side, the extra income the One on the tarmac of a Saudi Arabian for arriving on such a hot, torrid day, U.S. Ambassador to the United U.S. taxpayers should receive from airport wearing a custom-made suit one in which the weather was as pun- Nations, and that our foreign policy the Obama T-shirt and Budweiser constructed from fine woolens by the ishing as the American treatment of could be greatly advanced by the beer sales at these venues should Hartmarx Corporation, a great Muslims the world-over. “take-no-prisoners” negotiating style American fine menswear manufactur- And why not? Presidential apologies of the Margareten Twins. I tend to Continued on Page 23

20 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 21 observed that although many individ- uals were already on strict diets, not SOS: Special Occasions only were they not losing weight, but sometimes they were gaining! So inevitably, out of frustration, they And Situations would go off their diets, gain even more weight, and then go on a quest for the “magic solution” (pill, diet Part II — Holidays is eating a lot of—and your host is Positive motivation alone simply tip) or “wonder food” that would help BY RACHAEL E. likely to be pushing you to eat even can’t overcome the desire for the them shed the unwanted pouch. SCHINDLER, PHDC, MA, more! So, how do you not gain a ton— immediate payoff that propels you to They were the victims of a vicious MS, CAI, CPT or how do you even lose a few eat the things you know you should- diet cycle. Each time they lost and pounds—during this trying time? n’t. So, people tend to indulge during gained weight, the pounds became Erma Bombeck once said, “I’ve Most people assume that because yom tov, and some even work fever- increasingly harder to lose. This been on a diet for the last two you’re trying to lose (or not gain) ishly to take it off right after. Inside standard weight loss routine was decades. I’ve lost a total of 789 weight, you’ll have enough positive some of us is a thin person struggling hopelessly flawed. The reason pounds. By all accounts, I should be motivation to stick to the program to get out, but she can very often stay seemed obvious: Typical low-calorie hanging from a charm bracelet!” I even during a difficult-to-diet time, imprisoned with a few spoonfuls of diets wreak havoc on the metabo- know some people reading this wish lism, the process by which the nutri- they were, so with Shavuos having ents in food are broken down into just passed, I wanted to share a few energy that runs the body. Simply insights and strategies for how to put, the body uses up nutrients it survive any chag (including the You don’t have to “get your money’s worth” needs to do work and stores the “cheesecake holiday”) without the excess, primarily as fat. excess pudge, in Part II of the SOS But that’s not the end of the story. series: Holidays. every time you eat. Don’t eat dessert after There is much more involved in Did you ever think, as you instinc- metabolism than simply “calories in, tively reached for the mini calories burned.” I noticed that even cheese/chocolate Danish on yom tov lunch, for a snack, and after dinner. some of my pregnant clients seemed morning, “It’s okay to stray from my to gain weight even though they eating plan because … I’m celebrat- were constantly vomiting and eating ing / I really want it / Everyone else is little food—and it wasn’t all baby eating it / It’s only a little piece / I’ll such as a holiday, and succeed. But chocolate mousse! weight, if you know what I mean. just be careful / I’ll make up for it the reality is that eating generates I love working as a master trainer The conclusion was that there was later…”? Left unchecked, these immediate rewards (and other “gains” and nutritional therapist, and I am something that influenced the thoughts can do some serious dam- as well), whereas the rewards from deeply committed to making a posi- metabolism—for better or for age. The problem lies in that you want watching what you eat might not be tive difference in my clients’ lives. worse—a fact that was ignored by to eat even more since it is holiday realized for weeks, months, or even The standard dietary advice of “Eat conventional diets. I call it the time and, let’s face it, eating is festive! years! This gives us the classic formu- way less to lose weight” or “Eat very “Stuff and Starve” syndrome (or the You are also exposed to various special la for yo-yo dieting: future benefits little now to eat a lot later” doesn’t freshly made foods that everyone else vs. the immediate compulsion to eat. make sense for most people. I have Continued on Page 24

22 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES No Apologies Continued from Page 20 more than pay for the bailouts of GM and AIG combined, with maybe enough money left over for subsidiz- ing HAFTR parents for the cost of the uniform logo patches. And, now that we are on the sub- ject of the HAFTR patches, I must report that I have never gotten more calls on any subject in the history of this column. So many HAFTR par- ents were both excited and relieved at the prospect of not having to choose between a mortgage pay- ment, a week of groceries, or com- plying with the previously-stated pol- icy on school uniforms which included couture shirts, skirts and pants with custom-embroidered logos, and stopped just short of crested blazers. Never before in the history of the school has an issue so galvanized parents. Clearly, the fun- damental changes in our economy coupled with the volatile global political situation have manifested themselves in a grass-roots jugger- naut of HAFTR parents who just did not need one more frivolous and unnecessary expense. If the official word from the administration has not yet been publicized, I know that it will be shortly, as the parents have peppered the school with both e- mails and telephone calls on the matter. Please feel free to continue your inquiries to either the adminis- tration office or directly to members of the board. Such involvement and participation by the general parent body is exactly what a school hopes to achieve, because an “involved par- ent” is the hallmark of responsible education and living the mitzvah of “v’shinantem l’vanecha.” And speaking of Torah, as we have just celebrated the holiday of Shavuos, when a record number of youngsters from our fine local yeshivas observed the mitzvah of tikun leil Shavuos by studying Torah the entire night, with only sporadic breaks for cherry cheesecake and orange soda, and then davening at the dawn’s earliest light. What a wonderful group of bochurim and banos, who truly celebrated Hashem giving us the Torah. We should thank our school administration and local rabbis for the inspiration and enthu- siasm they instill in our children, the future of our people. These wonder- ful youths certainly have nothing to apologize for and should begin a let- ter-writing and telephone campaign to the president, explaining to him why this great nation, The United States of America, has little to apolo- gize for as well, except maybe American Idol, funnel cake, and instant charoses. This is The Legendary Danny O’Doul signing off—unapologetic and unrepentant—and wishing you a great Good Shabbos and imploring you to write and/or call the White House, your state senators, local congressmen, county executive, and even Jeff Toback, asking them to urge our leadership to raise their heads, proudly lead, and, most importantly, never apologize. O 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 23 Special Occasions damage the metabolism in another cle your metabolic rate decreases is so beautiful now! Grab a pair of Continued from Page 22 way. When you eat healthily, the goal further, resulting in having to eat less sneakers and literally “run around” is to lose fat, not muscle. Fat makes to maintain your regular weight. doing errands, or have a “ball” play- “Starve and Stuff” syndrome). you look lumpy and muscle makes So what can you do to keep fan- ing with the kids at the park. Take Here’s how it works: Dieting starts you look trim and lean. Many people ning your metabolism and keep you nice walks with your spouse at night. the yo-yo cycle, where your body find that when they lose fat and gain motivated to lose weight? The trick is Don’t just sit and eat and eat—just tries to survive on less food and burn muscle, they look slimmer, even elementary. You need to eat more of sit while you eat. less energy. This is known as “starva- though they haven’t lost a pound! The the right foods, and fit in some exer- While studies have shown that tion mode.” Our bodies are biologi- loss of muscle also has a devastating cise, too. Veggies, water-filled fruits, increased calcium intake assists in cally programmed to survive in this impact on your metabolism. and fibrous foods usually are best. If long-term weight loss, here are some type of predicament we put our- Muscle is the most metabolically you are not starving and you are los- tips to help with dairy meals: Don’t selves into. However, when this hap- active tissue in the body. A single ing weight, you are more motivated make everything heavy. Make some pens, we lower our metabolic rate. pound of muscle burns as much as to stick to the eating plan. flavorful interesting dishes that are For our ancestors, this meant sur- 50 calories a day at rest. That’s Additionally, if you raise your metab- light, for everyone to enjoy. Believe vival. For 21st-century dieters, this right—you lose while you snooze! olism by fueling your internal fur- me, your guests (especially their mechanism means a vicious and Therefore, building lean muscle is nace and building lean muscle mass, thighs) will thank you. seemingly endless cycle. Over time, great, but it is also hard to keep. As you can eat more of whatever you Use low-fat cheese (such as Emek, our ever-so-efficient bodies function we age, we lose five to ten pounds of want—and still lose! which has only 60 calories for a huge on fewer and fewer calories, and we muscle each decade, primarily due to The trick is to develop a sound eat- slice and is now available at Costco). continually keep lowering our meta- inactivity. We even accelerate muscle ing routine that is personalized for Use only the whites of eggs (eggs are bolic rate. This means that we have loss by dieting! You may be surprised your body type and caloric needs cheap, and you can save the yolk to to eat less to maintain the same to learn that on most low-calorie, (how much you exercise, speed of brown challah or the tops of some weight, and we have to eat much less low-fat fad diets, you lose substantial your metabolism, pregnancy, etc.) kugels). One of my clients loves to to lose weight. Unfortunately, it also amounts of muscle along with the and stick to it! The less you are on- use Chobani Greek Yogurt instead of means that if we resume eating the fat. In fact, if you manage to lose 20 again/off-again dieting, the better. sour cream. Scrape off dressings, way we usually do, we will gain more pounds on a diet, you may have lost So, consider yourself on a nutritional sauces, or breading. Also, start off weight back! up to eight pounds of muscle. The plan, not just another “diet.” And with a healthful soup to help fill you Improper eating plans can also catch-22 is that when you lose mus- don’t forget to exercise! The weather up, before you finish a few pieces of challah without even noticing. Go to your friend or relative to “help” them with preparations, and bring some of your own healthy food that you can eat. If you absolutely have to try it all, eat smaller portions, but make sure everything fits on one plate! Tell the “food pusher” you absolutely can’t have another bite, you’re done! Balance your intake—if you ate a big lunch, lighten up the rest of your meals. You don’t have to “get your money’s worth” every time you eat. Don’t eat dessert after lunch, for a snack, and after dinner. Pick one time and have a small amount (I prefer to savor cheesecake or a good chocolate torte). Remember, there’s always more food coming (and coming). Think how won- derful you will feel going to bed at night knowing you followed your plan when you easily could have consumed thou- sands of extra calories! It’s worth it to forgo the momentary pleasure of eating foods you didn’t plan to eat so that you can stay in control, not yo-yo diet and mess up your metabolism, be happier with yourself—and finally lose the weight you always wanted to. O

Rachael E. Schindler, PhDc, MA, MS, CAI, CPT has over 18 years’ experience in exercise physiology, Pilates, nutritional counseling, and teaching, as well as multiple degrees in forensic and developmental psychology. With her special- ties in food and behavioral issues for both chil- dren and adults, you get the right combination of diet, exercise, and support all in one stop! Insurance is accepted. If you would like to see your question or concern in a future article, please e-mail [email protected] or call 917-690-5097.

WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? WE WANT TO KNOW! E-MAIL US AT [email protected]

24 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES He shall eat nothing that is made of the grape vine, from the seeds to the skin (Bamidbar 6:4) Though the vine be sup- ported by straight reeds and forked reeds, it cannot stand up under the weight of the wine in the grapes. So if wine’s own mother cannot bear its burden, how then can you? (Midrash Rabbah) When Noach took to planting, Satan came and stood before him and said to him:“What are you planting?” Said he:“A vine- yard.” Said Satan to him: “What is its nature?” Said he:“Its fruits are sweet, whether moist or dry, and one makes from them wine which brings joy to the heart.” Said Satan to Noach:“Do you desire that we should plant it together, you and I?” Said Noach: “Yes.” What did Satan do? He brought a lamb and slaugh- tered it over the vine; then he brought a lion, and slaughtered it over it; then he brought a monkey, and slaughtered it over it; then he brought a swine, and slaughtered it over it; and he watered the vine with their blood.Thus he alluded to Noach:When a person drinks one cup, he is like a lamb, modest and meek. When he drinks two cups, he becomes mighty as a lion and begins to speak with pride, saying:Who compares with me! As soon as he drinks three or four cups he becomes a monkey, dancing and frolicking and profaning his mouth, and knowing not what he does. When he becomes drunk, he becomes a pig, dirtied by mud and wallowing in filth. (Midrash Tanchuma)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 25 26 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES My Friend, My Chavrusa Nechemia Goldberg, shlita. He they raised ten very sweet children ing it up with a “geshmake Sfas Continued from Page 10 would attend my chaburos and with intense input and supernatural Emes” and a sharp “Reb Zadok.” But shmuesen, although their level was devotion. Although the extremely even more than the learning, his close on many levels to his grandfa- surely way below his standards. He loyal Radziner baalei batim support- warmth and caring personality were ther, Rebbe Yerucham Lainer (d. attended because he was humble, ed Reb Yaakov’s family, Reb Yaakov a major lift for me and carried me 1964), who passed away when he was not wanting to be different than any would never ask anyone for help through to our next learning session. but two years old. other kollel member and because he because of his humility. He never I fondly remember how on Reb Yerucham, zt’l, was an expert in was my friend. And friends offer felt that he was deserving or worthy Wednesday mornings we would “ille- all areas of Torah and scholarship. chizuk to each other. of any support. He truly possessed gally” partake of the schmaltz her- There existed very few admorim/tzad- He left our kollel in the summer the crucial trait of humility, a char- ring that my dear shverr, shlita, used dikim since the beginning of of 1996 to learn for six unbelievable acteristic so prevalent among Polish to bring for shalosh seudos and Chassidus who were also lamdanim in years in Beis Medrash Govoha of rabbeim/tzaddikim, including, of exchange Chassidishe-Litvishe anec- both the Polish and Lithuanian styles Lakewood, once again reuniting with course, the Izbitze and Radzine dotes and humor. of learning, bibliographers, Jewish his- a Radziner, the rosh yeshiva, HaGaon rabbeim. Just a month before his tragic torians, very learned in Kabbalah death, we had danced together at a works, philologists, and masters of hachnasas sefer Torah. Our friendship both the Babylonian and Jerusalem returned to its roots: we started with Talmuds. Rebbe Yerucham Lainer, zt’’l, Reb Yaakov would share with me his Izbitza Chassidus and Sifrei Rebbe was such an admor/tzaddik. He was Tzaddok, worked our way back via Reb Yaakov’s inspiration throughout Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah, passing his tragically short life. Indeed, Reb beloved “Izbitza Torah,” always spicing it up through the Rambam and Gemara and Yaakov published all the writings of his finally back to our roots and source: glorious grandfather a few months with a “geshmake Sfas Emes” and a sharp the Holy Written Law, the Torah. before his death and considered that I will forever cherish our friend- work to be his crowning achievement. ship. May Reb Yaakov be a meilitz On a certain level, I sincerely believe “Reb Zadok.” yosher for his devoted and selfless they were kindred spirits. rebbetzin, shetichyeh, and his sweet A few years later, in 1986, Reb kinderlach. May his beloved memory Yaakov honored me by learning full- Rebbe Yerucham Olshin, shlita, who In 1991 I had become sick and, be forever blessed. O time in my kollel in Sha’arei Chesed. spoke so eloquently about his talmid during the long recovery period, I Throughout the day, both sedarim, at the funeral. Reb Yaakov used to studied Maseches Sotah with he studied Yoreh Deah intensively tell me that during those six years he Rambam together with Reb Yaakov. I with my brother-in-law, Reb Ely reviewed his Yoreh Deah many times was jealous of the ease with which Deadline for Advertising Hoch, sheyichyeh, and Reb Yaakov and went through many masechtos. Reb Yaakov quickly ran through “ruled” over the first section of Yoreh In 1992, at the age of 30, he felt that those big juicy Mishneh Le’Melechs. in the Next Issue is Deah! It was my honor to facilitate he had the strength to shoulder the What pleasure I had learning with a Tuesday, June 9 his receiving unique and excellent responsibility of a family (see chavrusa who made sure that not one at 5:00 P.M. semichos from the Chief Rabbi of Mishnah Avos 5:25) and the Bookson superfluous word should appear in a Yerushalayim, HaGaon Rebbe family of Monsey quickly welcomed Tosefos! At the end of each session Call 516-984-0079 Yitzchok Kolitz, zt’’l, and, for many him for their outstanding daughter, Reb Yaakov would share with me his long years, HaGaon Rebbe Zalman Miriam, shetichyeh. Baruch Hashem, beloved “Izbitza Torah,” always spic-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 27 And he shall bring her offer- ing for her, the tenth part of an efah of barley meal (Bamidbar 5:15) She acted like an ani- mal; therefore her offering is of animal feed. (Talmud, Sotah 14b) Every Jew, whether righteous or wicked, has two souls… One soul…clothes itself in the person’s blood to animate the body [and is the source of its egocentric drives and desires]…and the second soul of a Jew is literally a part of G-d above [and is the source of the person’s striving to unite with G-d]… The body is called a “small city”: as two kings wage war over a city, each wishing to capture it and rule over it, that is to say, to govern its inhabitants according to his will so that they obey him in all that he decrees for them, so do the two souls, the G-dly [soul] and the vitaliz- ing animal [soul] that derives from kelipah wage war against each other over the body and all its organs and limbs. The desire and will of the G-dly soul is that it alone should rule over the person and direct him, and that all his limbs should obey it and surrender them- selves completely to it and become a vehicle for it, and serve as a vehicle for its ten faculties [of intellect and emo- tion] and three “gar- ments” [thought, speech and action]…and the entire body should be permeated with them alone, to the exclusion of any alien influence, G-d for- bid…While the ani- mal soul desires the very opposite… (Tanya)

28 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

2 Tbsp. soy sauce 2 Tbsp. hoisin sauce 2 Tbsp. mild honey 1 tsp. Asian sesame oil a pinch of cayenne 3 lb. chicken wings or drumettes PERSONAL CHEF 1 1 ⁄2 Tbsp. sesame seeds, lightly toasted 1 scallion (green part only), finely Grilling Like A Pro chopped Directions: Build a charcoal fire in an outdoor You know it’s summer when you circulates around the food as it cooks. grill for indirect high grilling and let smell that smoky aroma of the barbe- This can only be done in a covered burn until the coals are almost com- cue all fired up and ready to grill. From grill. For gas grills, turn the outside pletely covered with white ash. For gas burgers to steaks, corn to peaches, two burners to medium position and grills, turn outer burners on medium almost anything can be cooked on the turn the inside burners to off. For food while keeping the inside rare, like and leave center burners off. grill. If you’re one of the many who charcoal, place a foil pan in the center some steaks or blackened tuna. Mince garlic and mash to a paste find grilling to be intimidating or just and place equal amounts of charcoal One important thing to bear in with salt using a large heavy knife. have not gotten the hang of it, all you on either side. The food will be placed mind: Meat will continue to cook after Transfer garlic paste to a large bowl need are a couple of tips for grilling in the center when cooking. it’s removed from the heat, so you and stir in soy sauce, hoisin, honey, oil, success. The basic rule of thumb is that if it should take it off when it’s at slightly and cayenne. Add wings to sauce, stir- You can grill with a gas or charcoal takes less than 20 minutes to cook, use less than your desired degree of done- ring to coat. grill. Gas is more convenient, using the direct heat; if it takes more than 20 ness. In addition, once meat comes off Lightly oil the grill grate. Place the flip of a switch to get it started, and minutes to cook, use indirect heat. For the grill, it needs to rest in order to wings on the cooler area of the grill offers more even, consistent heat. instance, pieces of chicken on the reabsorb its juices, which travel to the and cover. Grill for 15 minutes. Turn Charcoal is more of a hands-on experi- bone take 35 to 45 minutes, depending surface during cooking. If you skip this the wings and cook until they are ence of building and maintaining a on their size, so they’re best cooked step, your meat could be dry and browned and show no sign of pink fire. You must set up your charcoals or using indirect heat, whereas boneless tough. The larger the cut of meat, the when pierced at the thickest part near burners in a way that allows for direct chicken breasts only take about 15 longer it should rest. Smaller pieces a bone, about 20 minutes longer. and indirect cooking. Direct grilling minutes, so they’re best on direct heat. like chicken breasts only need about Transfer wings to a large serving bowl means high heat—like broiling, except You can also combine direct and indi- five minutes, but larger items need and toss with sesame seeds and scal- the heat source is directly under the rect grilling if you want nice seared about 20 minutes. lion. food. Preheat a gas grill and then turn grill marks but the food needs more Whatever you’re grilling, summer- all burners to medium. For charcoal, time to cook completely. time is not complete without a fire- once they’ve reached a white-gray ash Once the food is on the grill, regard- kissed meal right off the grill. Eating quality, delicious meals is easy when all appearance, spread evenly in a single less of your cooking method, it’s best the work is done for you. Hire a personal chef to prepare your dinners, Shabbos meals, or small layer across the grate. to keep the grill closed. This helps air Sticky Sesame Chicken Wings parties. For more information, contact Take Indirect grilling means lower heat circulate around the food and results Ingredients: Home Chef personal chef services by calling 516-596-8865, writing to and is more like baking or roasting. in more even cooking. The exception is 1 large garlic clove [email protected], or visiting 3 Heat is equally distributed and hot air if you want to char the outside of your ⁄4 tsp. salt www.TakeHomeChef.net.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 29 ing; if it doesn’t sell, you can always gains. Keep your prices low and attrac- toss it away after the garage sale. tive. Don’t undervalue anything, but Set things up in a fashion that makes don’t go into overdrive and price an it easy to navigate the aisles that you item high because it has sentimental form at the garage sale. Think about the value or because you want to leave stores you frequent. They are probably negotiating room. If the price is too well-organized (we hope) and have high, you may have nothing to negoti- How About A Garage Sale? Obviously the next step is to pick a good easy-to-navigate aisles. Similarly, you ate but what spot it will take up in the A garage sale can be a great tool for day—usually a Sunday (check the weath- want your garage sale to make shopping trash can after the garage sale is over getting rid of all kinds of stuff you have er forecast and then hope for the best) a breeze and create an atmosphere that and no one has bought it. accumulated in your home over the and then make a list of the best ways to will encourage shoppers to buy lots and Don’t forget to prepare lots of change. years, whether you are just doing a “get the word out” about your garage sale Go to the bank beforehand and get plen- spring cleaning or actually preparing for and where and when it is happening. ty of coins and singles. Ideally the best a move to a new home. The beauty of a If you want people to come to your way to hold the money is to have some garage sale is that when you own things garage sale, you need to advertise. A If the price is too high, kind of belted money bag that you which you have saved over the years few days before your garage sale, post always wear so you don’t have to worry (but really cannot bear throwing away), signs all over, in places where people you may have nothing about the money box disappearing while selling them makes you feel that they at will be sure to see them. Take an ad you are busy with a customer. least had a purpose sitting in your out in the local paper, as well as post- Have a supply of bags and newspa- house gathering dust for all that time. ing it on the different local websites to negotiate but what pers available to wrap delicates or bag Of course, before you can plan a that are available in our community. If multiple items that people purchase. garage sale, the first order of business you have any antiques or big-ticket spot it will take up in Get the children involved—make a is actually rummaging through the items, don’t be afraid to mention them drink table at which they can sell house and going through all your stuff, in your ad—this can attract more cus- the trash can after the drinks by the cup so they can feel a sifting out what you need and what tomers to your garage sale. part of the action (as well as have you simply have no use for any longer Sell as much as you can! If in doubt, garage sale is over and drinks available to them for the day). but would hope someone else would. set it out! Anything that you even A garage sale does involve some Even if you are sorry to let go of a lot remotely think you want to sell, go no one has bought it. hard work, but it can also be a lot of of the stuff you have accumulated over ahead and price it on display. Also fun and an activity you can do as a time, when the time comes to pack up remember that one person’s junk is family and enjoy—and you can even all your belongings to move to your another person’s metzieh. So, even if make a few dollars. O new home, having less to pack after you think no one could possibly want lots of stuff. Organize your items into getting rid of all the unused items will some of the items you have, try and areas—a spot for clothes, one for hard- make you feel better. Once you have sell them anyway and see what hap- ware or appliances, one for toys, etc. Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker and a licensed N.Y.S. completed sorting out what to keep pens—you never know. I once had a Take a tip from the grocery stores and mortgage broker with over 20 years of experi- and what to sell, you are then ready to garage sale and put out a jar of rusty place very low-ticket items that are easy ence, offering full-service residential and com- actually plan when and how you want nails, meaning to throw them away, to grab close to the check-out spot— mercial real-estate services (Anessa V Cohen Realty) and mortgaging services (First Meridian to hold your garage sale. and just forgot, only to have someone that way you can encourage impulse Mortgage) in the Five Towns and throughout the So, once you have made the piles of ask me if they could buy them. Go fig- purchases as people are paying. tri-state area. She can be reached at 516-569- 5007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. stuff, all ready to be sold, what is the next ure! Remember, anyone can just throw Remember as well that people com- Readers are encouraged to send questions or step in setting up your garage sale? something in the garbage without try- ing to garage sales are looking for bar- comments to [email protected].

30 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES ers, and though they sound sympa- the responsibility on your shoulders. thetic toward me, they don’t want Now you’d like to retrain them, to to take on any of the responsibility. bring them back on board in the area They are so focused on their own of assisting with your parents, since families, their wives and in-laws, clearly it’s way too much for you to that they seem to have very little handle alone any longer. Sadly, as interest in our parents. It hurts me you’re discovering, it’s hard to teach both personally and for my parents. an old dog new tricks. Your brothers Dear Esther, part of the time. My local brother How do I get my old life back? How are happy to leave things just the way I’m having major problems with might drop in on a Sunday once do I get my marriage back? How do I they are. It works for them, it’s easy, my brothers’ lack of involvement with every two or three weeks. My other get my brothers to step up and relieve and, after all, you’ve proven yourself our parents. My parents are both in brother visits maybe once every cou- me of this enormous burden? to be so very capable—they figure their eighties and my mother was ple of months. Overwhelmed you can probably continue holding diagnosed with Alzheimer’s two years My mother has a caregiver for six Dear Overwhelmed, down the fort all by your lonesome. ago. Until that time, I was happily a hours a day, which is great, but hard- I guess it’s true when they say that Where do you go from here? very dutiful daughter. I live in the Though I don’t believe you’ll get same neighborhood as my parents your old life back right now, I do and was always pleased and honored think that you are sacrificing your to be their resource for everything well-being and, in some areas, your and anything. Though I work full- marriage as well. There’s got to be a time, I would make it my business to Though they don’t want to show better way. stop off after work twice a week to Since your brothers aren’t willing spend time with them. I helped them up in person often enough, to have a discussion with you that with their finances and other will lead to a specific plan, you need bureaucratic issues and, in general, I to bring a plan to them. For was their devoted helping hand. maybe they can write the check. instance, you mention that your One of my brothers lives out of mother is only getting six hours of town. The other lives maybe 15 min- assistance a day. Are either or both utes away by car. They were never of your brothers capable of paying super-involved with our parents, but I ly enough for her needs. Honestly, no good deed goes unpunished. for help to cover the rest of the day? really didn’t care. As I said, it was my she could use help 24/7, but some- There you were, being the perfect Though they don’t want to show up pleasure to do it all. how isn’t eligible. daughter to your parents, with joy in in person often enough, maybe they However, now that my mother’s This situation is putting an enor- your heart and a great sense of ful- can write the check. If so, and you health is failing and my father is also mous strain on me and my marriage. fillment. You clearly took on the role know that your parents have cover- not doing too well (as a result of hav- My husband and I haven’t been away of super-daughter while your broth- age 24/7, this will entirely change ing to watch over my mother), I find together in years, because I feel that ers became (or maybe always were) the dynamics of this situation. Not that my responsibilities and involve- I can’t leave my parents. Between complacent, while you did it all. You only would this arrangement enable ment have increased tremendously. shopping, cooking, and other respon- enabled them to tune out of their you to exhale a bit, but it will do At this point, I’m no longer OK with sibilities that I’ve taken on, I barely responsibilities. No one required wonders for your father. my brothers’ lack of involvement. In have time to breathe. much from them, and it became very fact, I find myself seething a good I’ve tried speaking to my broth- comfortable for them to leave all of Continued on Page 33

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 31 sons around his bier at his funeral. tion of the Mishkan by the twelve Twelve spies, each representing his tribal heads, or nesi’im, (“nasi” in the respective tribe, made up the recon- singular) of Israel. naissance mission sent in preparation The Mishkan was the “Tent of for the conquest of the Holy Land, Meeting,” which G-d instructed where each tribe was allotted its own Moshe to build to serve as the territory suited for its particular voca- dwelling place of His manifest pres- tion; there was even a time when cer- ence (Shechinah) within the camp of tain restrictions were placed on mar- Israel. The Mishkan accompanied From The Chassidic Masters riages between the tribes to prevent the people of Israel for their 40 years’ the ownership of land from passing journey through the desert, following from one tribe to the other. which it was set up in various places The Tribes Of Israel in the Holy Land, until a permanent Repetitious Days home for G-d was built in Jerusalem The tribulations of exile and disper- by Shlomo HaMelech. Every weekday, the Jew places on of the gazelle, and so on. Each tribe sion have blurred the delineation of As a rule, the service in the his head above the brain, and on his was thereby given a distinct vocation Israel into its twelve tribes; today, Mishkan did not relate in any overt arm opposite his heart, a pair of and role: Yehudah produced kings most Jews have no certain knowledge way to Israel’s division into tribes; it tefillin—black leather boxes contain- and legislators; Yissachar, scholars; of which tribe they belong to. But the was carried out by Aharon and his ing small parchment scrolls on which Zevulun, seafarers and merchants; concept of “one nation” distinguished sons, whom G-d had chosen to serve are inscribed the basic tenets of our warriors came from Gad, school- by various tribal identities remains. as the emissaries of all the people. faith, chief amongst them the procla- teachers from Shimon, olive growers While all Jews are bound by the same Thus, when the Mishkan was inau- mation: “Hear O Israel, the L-rd our from Asher, shepherds from Torah and the same 613 mitzvos, com- gurated on the 1st of Nissan in the G-d, the L-rd is one” (Devarim 6:4). Menashe, and so on. munities differ in the texts of their year 2449 from Creation (1312 Our sages tell us that G-d, too, dons The descendants of Yaakov’s chil- prayers, their application of certain BCE), one year after the Exodus, tefillin. And what is inscribed in G-d’s dren preserved their tribal identities laws, and their observance of certain and the nesi’im of the twelve tribes tefillin? “Who is like Your people throughout their exile in Egypt. customs. By the same token, the tra- approached Moshe with the desire Israel, one nation on earth” (Shmuel II When the Red Sea parted to allow ditional partnership between the to bring gifts in honor of the 7:23). As we attest to the oneness of them passage, it split into twelve “Yissachars” and the “Zevuluns”— Mishkan’s dedication, Moshe hesi- G-d, G-d attests to the oneness and pathways, one for each tribe. Each between those who devote their lives tated to accept their offerings, feel- integrity of His chosen people. tribe was counted separately in the to the study of Torah and those who ing that an offering by a single repre- Yet from its very beginnings, this various censuses taken of the people support them with the proceeds of sentative on behalf of the people as a “one nation” has comprised twelve of Israel; each had its own stone on their business dealings—remains a whole would be more appropriate. distinct tribes. Yaakov had twelve the Kohein Gadol’s breastplate, its time-honored institution in every But G-d desired that each tribe sons; before his passing he blessed own flag (in the color of its stone), its Jewish community. should be individually recognized them, “each man according to his designated place in line when the There are twelve days on our cal- and represented in the establish- individual blessing” (Bereishis people of Israel journeyed through endar on which we touch base with ment of His “dwelling” within the 49:28), granting Yehudah the majesty the desert, and its designated posi- our tribal identities and the “tribal- Israelite camp, and instructed of the lion, Yissachar the persever- tion when they camped around the ism” of Israel. These are the first Moshe to “accept it from ance of the donkey, Dan the ingenu- Mishkan (Sanctuary), mirroring the twelve days of the month of Nissan, ity of the snake, Naftali the swiftness places that Yaakov designated for his on which we remember the dedica- Continued on Page 34

32 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

MINDBIZ There are also support groups for Continued from Page 31 caretakers, which would include your father and yourself. These sup- You ought to plan a vacation with port groups are extremely valuable in your husband. It doesn’t have to be providing individuals with a forum to too long, but even a long weekend vent their issues and also to share will do wonders for your relation- problem-solving ideas with others in ship. Inform your brothers that your similar situations. trip is booked and they have to figure I have no doubt that you are feeling it out. They may not be happy and tired and drained. Hopefully, you’re may even give you every excuse in also feeling a tremendous amount of the book why they can’t be responsi- pride in knowing that you are such an ble for your parents during that amazing daughter. You’ve really been time, but that’s OK. Don’t take it quite fantastic, and though I hope you personally. They’re big boys. If never need any help from others, shoved against the wall, they’ll work should it ever happen, I hope that it out. The same goes for upcoming family members will be lining up to holidays. Inform them that they are give back to you what you’ve given so in charge because you’ve made other lovingly to your parents. plans. And don’t let the conversation Esther turn into a discussion. It should be non-negotiable. Are there any grandchildren, Esther Mann, LMSW, has a private practice in nieces, nephews, or cousins around Lawrence. Esther is a psychotherapist and life coach and can be reached at 516-314-2295 or who might be able to visit your par- [email protected]. She works with individu- ents for a few hours on a Sunday als, couples, premarital couples, and families. evening, so that you and your hus- band can go out for a relaxed dinner? Do the local high schools have chesed programs that might involve high-school boys or girls spending At 5TJT.com time with your parents, again freeing you can enjoy articles up some time for you? Try looking into Alzheimer’s pro- in 3 ways: grams that exist at the neighborhood JCCs. They serve as respites for 1. Read caretakers and provide stimulating, 2. Print professionally run activities for peo- ple like your mother, who may well 3. Email benefit from them, depending on where she is presently holding.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 33 CHASSIDIC MASTERS ing! On the first day, we read how the expends 72 “extra” verses in its bring one of the six wagons. This gift Continued from Page 32 nasi of Yehudah brought “One silver account of these offerings, making was presented by all twelve nesi’im dish, weighing 130 shekels, one sil- Parashas Naso the longest in the together on the 1st of Nissan, as them…One nasi a day, one nasi a ver bowl of 70 shekels…both filled Torah (176 verses). described in the “Nasi” reading of day, shall they bring their offerings with fine flour mixed with oil…a Why, then, do we say that each that day. for the inauguration of the altar” golden spoon, 10 shekels in weight, day’s Nasi reading calls forth the An examination of these two groups (Bamidbar 7:5, 11). filled with incense…an ox…a ram…a unique “holy sparks and holy illumi- of gifts shows that they both address So for twelve days the nesi’im sheep…a he-goat…” and so on— nations that are included within the the same paradox: the paradox of “one brought their gifts. On 1 Nissan, some 35 items in all. On the next holiness of this tribe”? On the other nation” composed of various “tribes.” Nachshon ben Aminadav, the nasi of day, we read how the nasi of hand, if the “sparks” and “illumina- Both these offerings—each in its own the tribe of Yehudah, presented a Yissachar brought those very same 35 tions” represented by these offerings way—show how, though Moshe’s series of offerings to the Mishkan; items, identical in every way—to the are not unique, but common to all vision of a common offering from all on 2 Nissan, Nesanel ben Tzuar, the the people of Israel was rejected in nasi of Yissachar, brought his tribe’s favor of individual offerings by each offerings; on the 3rd day, it was the tribe, these, in fact, actually under- turn of Eliav ben Cheilon, nasi of While we may be able to score the unity of Israel. Zevulun; and so on until the 12th of How, indeed, do a people compris- Nissan, when the nasi of Naftali, ing various tribes, each with its own Achira ben Einan, presented his produce a complete ‘ox’ by our character, temperament, talents, and tribe’s contribution. vocation, achieve union as “one Today, we commemorate the own efforts, it takes two oxen to nation”? Mishkan’s dedication by reading, on One approach is to focus on our each of these days, a daily section of “interdependence”: to appreciate the “Nasi”—the verses describing the pull our common wagon. that since we share a common offerings of the day. After recounting goal—namely to build for G-d “a the offering brought by that day’s dwelling in the physical world”—and tribe, we conclude with the prayer: weight of each vessel and the age of the tribes of Israel, why did each tribe since we each have a crucial role to “May it be Your will, L-rd my G-d each animal. The same occurs when bring its offerings separately, and play in the achievement of this goal, and G-d of my fathers, that if I, Your we read of Zevulun’s offering on the bring them each on a different day? our various “tribes” and types com- servant, am from the tribe of…whose 3rd day, Reuven’s offering on the 4th, plement and fulfill one another to section of the Nasi I have read today and so on to Naftali’s offering on the Six Wagons And Twelve Oxen create a single people. In other in Your Torah, may all the holy sparks 12th of Nissan. In addition to the offerings they words, our differences themselves and holy illuminations that are Indeed, this is how the account brought on the first twelve days of are what unite us. Since the entity included within the holiness of this appears in the seventh chapter of Nissan, there was another contribu- “Israel” and what it stands for would tribe shine upon me, to grant me Bamidbar, from which the Nasi read- tion made by the twelve tribal heads be incomplete were any one “tribe” understanding and intelligence in ings are taken. The Torah, which is in connection with the Mishkan’s missing from the equation, no Jew is Your Torah and my awe of You, to do often so “mincing” with words that it inauguration. Six wagons, each with complete without his relationship Your will all the days of my life…” expresses many complex laws with a a pair of oxen, were given for the with every other type of Jew. What is most puzzling about the single extra letter, recounts each purpose of transporting the This is what the nesi’im demon- Nasi readings, however, is that they nasi’s offerings separately, repeating Mishkan. Each tribe contributed one strated with their gift of “six covered each describe exactly the same offer- the detailed list twelve times. Thus it ox and joined with another tribe to wagons and twelve oxen, a wagon

34 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES for each two of the nesi’im, and for these offerings were all exactly the The second group of offerings each one, an ox” (Bamidbar 7:3). same, down to the weight of the sil- expressed a more profound unity: “True,” they were saying, “we com- ver in each plate and the age of each that even as we each pursue our prise various ‘tribes,’ each distin- lamb; yet the Torah recounts each Divinely ordained role, each living And when Moshe guished by its particular character. offering separately. In its commen- his life on his “day” in his way, we True, we each bring our own dis- tary on these verses, the Midrash are all doing the same thing. For in would enter the tinct contribution to the fulfillment expounds on the allegorical signifi- origin and essence we are one, and Sanctuary to speak of Israel’s mission. Yet we recognize cance of these gifts. Each and every our individual lives and accomplish- that while we each have been detail of these 35 items—the type of ments are but the many expressions with [G-d], he would blessed with something our fellow vessel, its material, its weight, the of a single quest. hear the voice speak- ‘tribes’ do not have, it is they who species of the animal offerings, their The first aspect of our unity con- provide us with what we lack. Half a number, their age, etc.—symbolized cerns only the end, but not the ing to him from wagon is useless—we must combine something. But, they symbolized means, of our national mission. It our gifts in order to have something something different to each tribe. To sees the common goal that is the above the cover of with which to transport the ‘Tent of Yehudah they represented different ultimate purpose of it all; but the the Ark of Meeting’ in our journey through the aspects of the tribe’s role as sover- process of life—what we actually do spiritual desert that is our material eigns and leaders; to Yissachar, they to attain this goal—remains an area Testimony… and it world. And while we may perhaps be all pertained to scholarship and of difference and disparity. So even spoke to him able to produce a complete ‘ox’ by Torah study; and so on (see Midrash if our present-day efforts are guided our own efforts, it takes two oxen to Rabbah, Bamidbar 13 and 14). by, and permeated with, the vision of (Bamidbar 7:89) pull our common wagon.” This explains the allocation of these our common objective, our actual There is, however, another aspect offerings to twelve different days, and lives are conducted in apartness and to the unity of Israel—a vision that their twelve-fold “repetition” in the disconnection. sees the many and diverse vocations Torah. The Torah wishes to emphasize The second aspect, however, sees One might think that this and personalities that make up the that each tribe brought its own experi- an intrinsic oneness in the process (the fact that only Moshe Jewish nation as but the variant ence and perspective to its offering. of life itself. Even before our individ- heard the voice of G-d) was expressions of a singular essence. It The very same act was differently col- ual paths have converged upon the is not only that all these callings ored by the individual nature of each same destination, it sees in the many because the voice was low. work in tandem to achieve a collec- of its actors: each was expressing the ways in which we apply our particu- So the verse stresses that it tive goal (as with the oxen and wag- same eternal truth via his own person- lar talents and abilities a single ons), but that they are all intrinsical- ality and lifestyle. process; a single deed; a single was the voice—the same ly one. The nation of Israel is a sin- endeavor—making our lives a “Tent voice that spoke to him at Unity In Two Dimensions gle soul shining through a many- of Meeting,” a place to house the Sinai. But when it reached faceted prism: while each facet Hence the necessity for both sets goodness and perfection of our unleashes its individual collage of of offerings by the leaders of the Creator. O the doorway it stopped, and hues in the ray it refracts, the light tribes of Israel. With their first offer- did not extend outside of the they all convey is one and the same. ing of six wagons and twelve oxen, the This is the idea expressed by the leaders of the tribes expressed how Based on the teachings of the Lubavitcher Sanctuary. second group of offerings, those our differences themselves, when Rebbe; adapted by Yanki Tauber. Courtesy of MeaningfulLife.com via Chabad.org. Find more (Rashi) brought by the nesi’im over the first applied in concert and harmony, Torah articles for the whole family at twelve days of Nissan. As we said, unify us as “one people.” www.chabad.org/parshah.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 35 This statement—that people only sin wrong. You won’t find a gangster pro- when they are convinced that it is per- claiming, “Yes, it is evil to murder and mitted—seems difficult to understand. pillage, but what can I do? I am weak If we are dealing with a pious, proper and give in to my desires.” Instead, you Jewish woman who got into a bad situa- will hear an entire belief system tion, she knows that the act that she explaining that his approach is actual- wants to commit is forbidden. How can ly better for society and the world. the yetzer ha’ra convince her that it is The question is why. Why can’t man permitted? On the other hand, the Torah just utter the words “It is wrong to may be speaking about the opposite steal, but I want to do it anyway”? The Shmuz extreme—a woman who has gone off the The inner workings of the human. path and just doesn’t care. If so, why will The reason for this has to do with the she act improperly only if the yetzer ha’ra inner working of the human. Hashem On The Parashah tells her it is permitted? created man out of two distinct parts. I never do anything wrong. The One part comprises all the drives and answer to this question is based on passions found in the animal kingdom— ‘I Never Do Anything Wrong’ until a wave of insanity enters them. understanding one of the most consis- the base instincts and desires. The other BY R’ BEN TZION SHAFIER The Sifsei Chachamim explains this tent quirks of human nature: “I never part of man is pure intellect: holy, good, means “until their yetzer ha’ra teaches do anything wrong.” Whether dealing and giving. That part wishes to be gener- The parashah of sotah. The Torah them it is permitted.” with sophisticated adults or school- ous and noble and only aspires for that describes the details of a sotah: If a It seems clear from the Sifsei children, whether Supreme Court jus- which is good. woman acts in a manner that causes Chachamim that the modus operandi tices or convicted felons, the human Because this part of me is made up of her husband to suspect her of infideli- pure intellect and wisdom, it would ty, he should warn her not to go into never allow me to sin. It sees the results seclusion with that other man. If she too clearly. It understands that all of violates this warning, then the hus- He is capable of creating entire worldviews Hashem’s commandments are for my band is to take her to the kohein. The good and that every sin damages me. kohein will give her the “bitter waters” Because of this crystal-clear insight, the to drink. If she was unfaithful, she will human would not have free will to sin. instantly die. If she was not unfaithful, that explain how the behavior he desires is In theory, he could be tempted to sin, she will be redeemed and blessed. but he would never actually come to the When the Torah lays out the details, act—it would be akin to sticking his it uses the unusual word “tisteh”: “Ish righteous, correct, and appropriate. hand in a fire. In theory it could happen, ish ki tisteh ishto” (Bamidbar 5:12). but a sane person would never actually The word “tisteh,” meaning “go astray” do it. So if Hashem created man with is written the same as the word just these two parts, man would not have “tishteh,” “act like an insane person” of the yetzer ha’ra is to convince the seems never to do anything wrong. free will in a practical sense. (from the root “shoteh”). It is as if to potential sinners that the act that Wardens will tell you that their jails are To allow man to be tempted, thereby say, “If a man will accuse his wife of tempts them is permitted. Only when filled with self-proclaimed innocent to choose his course and be rewarded for insanity…” Rashi explains, based on he succeeds—and they are con- people. Criminals aren’t wrong. the Gemara, that adulterers do not sin vinced—will they then transgress. Villains aren’t wrong. Murderers aren’t Continued on Page 43

36 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

told her my problem and asked her to street, heading for my house. send a cop. “Oh, we don’t send offi- Relief flooded over me as the officer cers out for squirrels, ma’am,” was her stepped out of his vehicle. But my response. “Well, do you send them out comfort level diminished when I got a for suicides?” I asked. “Of course,” she good look at him, because he appeared replied. So I said, “Then you better get to be about 14 years old. I told myself someone here quick, because I’m that it was just my imagination; surely about to commit suicide!” they didn’t hire teenagers. The Squirrel Saga She took me seriously. The next I ushered him into the house, sound I heard was the wail of a sobbed out my tale of woe, and direct- Part 1 where. Panicky people do weird police siren. I quickly replaced the ed him to the basement stairs. The following events took place things. At least I do. Forgetting that receiver and raced to the front door Panicked as I was, I fully expected to many years ago, but it’s not some- I was wearing only a nightgown, I to greet the policeman. I still didn’t see the squirrel standing on the top thing one would be likely to forget— ran outside. The time was 7:00 a.m. remember that I was wearing only a step when I opened the basement I know I didn’t. and there wasn’t a soul in sight. nightgown. When I get distraught I door. He wasn’t. The coast was clear. Early one morning, I went down to Thank heaven for that! go all the way with it! The cop went down the stairs. the basement to toss some clothes But I needed help. There were no I stepped outside just in time to see Ten minutes later, he reappeared into the washing machine. As I was cordless phones at that time, so I had a police car turning the wrong way with the following proclamation. alone in the house, I was wearing only “Yep, ya’ got a squirrel alright.” I a nightgown at the time. As I looked at him in disbelief. “I knew approached the final step at the bot- that before you got here! Shoot him. tom of the stairs, I noticed what I Please! Go back down and shoot thought was a black schmatte on the My voice dripping with sarcasm, I him.” I wasn’t joking. And neither floor. It came as a surprise, because I was he when he said, “Ma’am, I’m didn’t think I had any black rags; my replied, “Well, something tells me the sorry, but we’re not allowed to shoot schmattes have always been white. first. We don’t shoot unless we’re Nevertheless, I bent down to pick it being shot at.” My voice dripping up—and just then, the schmatte sud- squirrel isn’t going to shoot first.” with sarcasm, I replied, “Well, some- denly took form and it moved! Staring thing tells me the squirrel isn’t going up at me were two green eyes. Every to shoot first.” That’s when the 14- squirrel I had ever encountered had year-old (I still think he was 14) been gray, but this one was black. To no choice but to tiptoe back inside onto my street and traveling in the turned to leave. say that I shrieked is the understate- and call the operator for assistance. opposite direction. So I went back I grabbed his arm and begged, ment of all time. She connected me with the local inside, redialed, and told the desk “Don’t go. You have to help me. I screamed in terror, dropped my police precinct and I was immediate- officer to contact the cop and tell him Please!” To my surprise, he heaved a basket of dirty laundry on the spot, ly put through to a female who was he was going south on my street and weary sigh and agreed. The guy had and charged up the stairs, slamming undoubtedly sitting at a desk and, that he needed to go north. Then I a heart! He proceeded to ask if there the basement door behind me. Next, based on her muffled speech, was hightailed it back outside once more was an outside exit from the base- I slammed shut all the other doors in probably drinking her morning coffee to make sure the cop got the radio ment. I told him that there was, my house, thinking that possibly while munching on a doughnut. message. He did, and I suddenly saw there were squirrels lurking every- Trying desperately to keep calm, I the squad car coming back down the Continued on Page 42

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 37 38 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 39 40 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 41 THAT’S THE WAY IT IS! that coat would never fit me. Continued from Page 37 Wanting to avoid further humilia- tion, I insisted, “No, no, its okay, I’m A Five Towns Simcha handed him the key to that back not cold.” He persisted. “Take it. Put basement door, and accompanied it over your shoulders.” I guess he Photos By Mr. Sol Lawner him outside. It was December and came to the same conclusion, that the air temperature hovered some- his coat wasn’t my size. where around 20 degrees, but I did- So there I stood with the rabbi’s n’t feel the cold—the only thing I winter coat around my shoulders, felt was panic. and I watched as he went around to Key in hand, the cop headed the back of the house and introduced around to the rear of the house to himself to the kid/cop. Armed with see if he could coax the squirrel out the knowledge that my husband is in the door. Meanwhile, I did the the food business, the rabbi guessed mature thing: I stood in the driveway that there might be some cartons and cried. stored in the garage. I said that there At that exact moment, a car were cartons in the garage. The rabbi passed by and slowed to a stop. It was now in charge. was my rabbi! He was new in town at Carton in hand, he and the officer the time, and, while he knew Arnie went down the outside stairs and into and me, he didn’t know us well. So the basement, and together they placed he had no idea how irrational I can the carton over the squirrel. Next the become when I’m frightened. At the rabbi slid a flat piece of cardboard sight of a police car in our driveway under the carton—and under the and me crying, he jumped out of his squirrel. Voilà! And that’s how the two car and ran up to me. “Hannah, men carried the squirrel out. They set what’s wrong? Did something hap- it down on the lawn and then removed pen? Is Arnie okay?” I looked at him. the carton to allow the squirrel to run “Arnie’s fine. I have a squirrel in my away. But the poor thing never moved. basement,” I said. At that point he He was ill from having ingested soot probably decided that I was a certi- as he came down the chimney, which fied nut. But I didn’t care. was how he got into the basement. It’s It was also at that point that he also the reason that he was black. removed his overcoat and handed it Within an hour the critter expired. to me. Apparently the vision of me in Next time: The Squirrel Saga contin- a nightgown was more than he need- ues… O ed to see. I looked at his offering, Mazel Tov to Molly and Joel Felderman and Ethel and Ed Kosoff on the mar- glanced at his frame, and knew that riage of their children Renee and Avi. Mazel Tov to the grandparents, Sara this wasn’t going to work. Even back Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a licensed real-estate broker associated with Teichman, Olga and Rubin Felderman and Fajga Brym. The couple will reside then I was a plus size, and he looked Marjorie Hausman Realty. She can be reached at in Great Neck. to be about a toddler two, so I knew [email protected] or 516-902-3733.

42 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES THE SHMUZ Continued from Page 36 his proper choices, Hashem put another component in man: imagination—the creative ability to form a mental picture and feel it as vividly as if it were real. Armed with an imagination, man can create fanciful worlds at his will and actually believe them. If man wishes to turn to evil, he can create rationales to make these ways sound noble and prop- er, fooling at least himself. If he wishes, he can do what is right; or if he wishes, he can turn to wickedness. Even his bril- liant intellect won’t prevent him. He is capable of creating entire worldviews that explain how the behavior he desires is righteous, correct, and appropriate. Now man has free will. The answer to the Rashi is on two lev- els. First, we see the power of rationaliz- ing. Even a fully mature, pious woman who grew up in the best of homes can be convinced, on some level, that illicit rela- tions are permitted. The yetzer ha’ra will use her imagination and create clever and creative ways to explain that black is white, in is out, and arayos is permitted. As ridiculous as it sounds, that is the power given to the yetzer ha’ra. The second idea is that even that woman who seems to be off the derech, and therefore wouldn’t need an excuse, really does. No human can ever do something that is wrong. Because of the greatness of her soul and the truth that she knows deep down inside, she under- stands that for a married woman to go to another man is forbidden. The only way that she can perpetrate this act is if she has a rational way of explaining how in fact it is permitted. The human is inca- pable of doing something wrong. The only way he can do something wrong is by making it right. There are two major concepts that we see in this Rashi. First, we see the great- ness of the human. Without this super- imposed force called imagination, man’s soul is so great that he couldn’t possibly sin. Second, because of the greatness of man’s soul, to allow for free will, Hashem created this force that allows man to believe exactly what he wants to. So now even the very pious woman can be delud- ed into thinking the impossible: arayos is permitted. The power of her imagination is such that the yetzer ha’ra can paint a picture that makes the forbidden permit- ted. And so, while we see the greatness of man, we also see how susceptible we are to being duped into believing whatever we wish to believe. O

The Shmuz, a life-changing mussar shiur, is available online at www.TheShmuz.com or on Kol HaLashon at 718-906-6400 (press 1,4,1).

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 43 TRAVEL SECTION

Bay, where we will enjoy a quick dip To Boldly Go... in the Arctic Ocean. Once the obliga- tory triumphant photo is snapped, we will begin the journey home. BY BRIAN H. SHTUNDEL The Characters …Where few, if any, of our brethren Every story needs compelling char- have tread. We few—we happy few— acters, or the readers will quickly lose will be driving, with G-d’s help, from interest or be inclined to root against New York City to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska their success. So, by way of introduc- (past the Arctic Circle to the Land of tion, our heroes: Jeremy and Brian the Midnight Sun) and back, a total of (and yes, ladies, they are still single). approximately 12,000 road miles Jeremy, age twenty-nine, is from (roughly half the distance across the Maryland and holds and utilizes his globe). Over the coming weeks you will CDL for financial remuneration as a be fortunate enough to vicariously ride resource transport specialist (i.e., along on this grand adventure. Start truck driver). Brian, in his late twen- your engines… ties, is a beloved local educator and current law student and EMT. The Plan Together they have traveled the We will be setting out from the long and winding roads through the Five Towns area—two of us, a vehi- lower 48 States. They have seen the cle, and our gear. After much purple mountains majesties, the research (thank you, Google), we amber waves of grain, gotten their have determined the road distance kicks on Route 66, and other copy- between NYC and Fairbanks to be written poetic images. Friends since 4,527 miles. From there, it is a short high school (where they were room- 414-mile trip on a dirt road called the mates), they are able to tolerate each Dalton Highway, which goes along other in the close confines of an auto- the Alaskan Pipeline, to the delight- mobile for 12,000 miles. Upon their fully named town of Deadhorse (a return they will likely not speak to metropolis boasting a permanent each other for a good three months. population of 25). Then onto a pri- vate road, through land owned by Equipment assorted oil companies, to Prudhoe The motto of the Boy Scouts of

44 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

America is “Be Prepared.” So city boy to feel like a rugged items, including a four-per- sleeping bags, for obvious up minimal space. a successful and pleasant outdoorsman when on a road son tent, as being in a car all reasons; and inflatable air Miscellaneous—First-aid trip can be attained through trip. Camping is now a less day will necessitate the need mattresses, which are easy to proper planning and procure- primitive affair with these for some personal space; inflate and deflate and take Continued on Page 47 ment of the right essential equipment. This is what we will set out with: Car—1999 Nissan Maxima. While a Japanese vehicle is the preferred mode of travel in cities up and down our coasts, they are not quite as suited for the open road. West of the Appalachians this will garner many a disapproving gaze, as they tend to love all things American out there. Yet we will venture forth, throwing all caution to the wind (we are rebellious that way). Cooler—giant five-day cooler by Igloo. Packed with ice, drinks, meat, and a vari- ety of other goodies for the road, this item is a must- have for any road trip. Tunes—MP3 player. This will be filled with all manner of music and audio enter- tainment. From ABBA to Zager & Evens, Abie Rotenberg to Al Yankovic, Bill Bennett to “This American Life,” when the conversation breaks down, we will have enough to fill the silence. Camping gear—Modern technology and logistics have created a way for every

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 45 er self-defense program. Rather than build aggression, it will teach your Agudath child to be more assertive and make them feel better able to defend them- Israel’s Pleas selves. Victimized children are often AskBY WARREN The LEVISensei timid and therefore a target for bullies. • Be aware that in today’s society, To Preserve bullying does not only take place on Bullying else who is experiencing a problem, be the playground, but also exists online Dear Sensei, it physical or emotional. through e-mail or instant messaging. Marriage Q. It is unlikely that a child will • Encourage your children to tell Make your child aware of the dangers come home and tell you that he is you, a teacher, or another adult that of this form of bullying as well. O being bullied at school. How does a they trust when they feel they are New York. An Agudath Israel-spon- parent detect if his child is being being bullied. Assure your child that sored delegation of a dozen communi- bullied at school? you will handle the problem with sen- Sensei Warren Levi, B.PhysEd., holds a fifth- ty activists from Brooklyn, Monsey, degree black belt and can be contacted at 516- A. Bullying can make school a sitivity and in a manner that will not 569-0808, [email protected], or via and Queens traveled to Albany on nightmare for children. In order to exacerbate the problem. www.warrenlevikarate.com. Tuesday last week to register strong remedy the problem, it is important to • Children are more of a target opposition to any redefinition of mar- recognize it. It is therefore necessary when they are alone. You should At 5TJT.com riage in New York State. A bill aiming to give your child the knowledge as to encourage your children to make to do that passed the State Assembly in what constitutes “bullying” and the friends with other children. Victimized you can enjoy articles May and is currently before the State tactics necessary to avoid it or to put children often have low self-esteem in 3 ways: Senate. The gravity of the issue was an end to it when it does happen. and find this difficult to do. Teach made clear at Agudath Israel’s recent • You should point out the differ- them how to reach out and make 1. Read anniversary dinner, when the rosh ence between telling and tattling. friends with other children who are Agudas Yisroel, Rabbi Yaakov Perlow, Tattling is telling on someone else to alone. 2. Print the Novominsker Rebbe, addressed it get them in trouble, while telling is • A great way to build self-esteem is 3. Email prominently in his words to the gather- seeking help for yourself or someone to enroll your child in karate or anoth- ing. The delegation was led by Agudath Israel’s vice president of community affairs, Rabbi Shmuel Lefkowitz, and was joined as well by the organization’s associate general counsel, Rabbi Mordechai Biser. The delegation included Chaskel Bennett, Rabbi Mechel Deutsch, Tzvi Gluck, Leon Goldenberg, Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Chaim Israel, Mendy Israel, Yoel Lefkowitz, Sender Rappoport, Avi Schron, Rabbi Moshe Schwab, and Yerucham Silver. Among those with whom the group met were chief counsel to Senate Majority Leader Malcolm A. Smith, Shelley Meyer; Senators Ruben Diaz, Martin J. Golden, Carl Kruger, Thomas P. Morahan, John L. Sampson, and Dean G. Skelos. The delegation also met with a member of Senator Toby Ann Stavisky’s staff, and the group was accompanied by Assemblyman Dov Hikind. “The delegation’s purpose,” Rabbi Lefkowitz explained, “was to impress on legislators that this issue is one that our community truly and strongly cares about.” According to the Agudath Israel rep- resentative, the group not only expressed the community’s essential opposition to changing a fundamental societal institution but emphasized how such legislation would in effect render New York residents with tradi- tional values “bigots” and conceivably subject people with sincere beliefs to not only societal disapproval but even legal action. That was a point made in two sepa- rate statements Agudath Israel issued in recent weeks, the first back in April, when New York Governor David A. Paterson introduced a bill to redefine marriage in the state; and the second, in May, as the members of the New York State Legislature consider the proposed legislation. The latter was a joint Agudath Israel and Orthodox Union statement, and a copy was pro- vided to each legislator and the gover- nor. It spoke of the “the bedrock relation- ship of the human family” and its cen- trality “to the formation of a healthy 46 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES society and the raising of children.” “It is our sincere conviction,” the statement declared, “that discarding the historical definition of marriage would pose a severe danger to society in a variety of ways. Thus, we are compelled to protest the proposed redefinition of marriage for the State of New York.” It warned, too, that should redefini- tion of marriage in New York occur, citi- zens of the state “who are members of traditional communities like ours will incur moral opprobrium and risk legal sanction if they refuse to transgress their beliefs. That prospect is chilling, and should be unacceptable.” In reiterating that warning in person, the Agudath Israel askanim were putting a human face on the opposition to the bill. “Here,” said Rabbi Lefkowitz, “was a group of sincere, polite, and impressive Orthodox Jewish citizens, well-spoken and clearly not bigoted—but whom this bill would turn into pariahs.” Rabbi Lefkowitz would not speculate about which way he thought the vote would go. “All I can say is that the fact that 12 busy people took a day off of their work and family obligations to help us make this effort made a real impact—hopefully on the eventual out- come of the vote, but surely on the seri- ous issue of Heaven’s honor at stake. California. In the wake of the California Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the state constitutional amend- ment approved last November in the “Proposition 8” ballot initiative, the Agudah issued the following statement: “Agudath Israel of America and Agudath Israel of California are gratified that the will of the people of California to pre- serve the traditional meaning of marriage has been legally affirmed by the State Supreme Court. Agudath Israel of California was an early and vocal sup- porter of the state constitutional amend- ment that expressed this will, and thus takes a particular interest in the outcome of this case. “There is one troubling aspect of today’s decision, the failure of the court to apply the people’s will retroac- tively to nontraditional ‘marriages’ entered into before the effective date of the state constitutional amendment. The result will be inherently incoher- ent, to say nothing of offensive to tra- dition-minded Californians. A wiser, not to mention more proper, decision here would have more accurately reflected the California electorate’s wishes.” O

To Boldly Go... Continued from Page 45 kit, flashlights, rope, rain gear, insect repellent, Rand McNally Road Atlas (only the best for us), AAA Plus membership (one can never be too careful), bear Mace, and all the other cool toys needed to “Be Prepared” (my old scoutmaster would be so proud). With everything in order, we embark on our journey. Our mission (yes, this will be a Star Trek hom- age): to explore strange new cities (i.e., places not New York), to seek out new Jewish communities and customs, To Boldly Go… O 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 47

indeed these would forever be associ- symbolic cutting of the ribbon. ated with the Laufer name. By estab- The rehabilitation center, located lishing religious schools and syna- near Kew Gardens Hills, Hillcrest, and gogues, by promoting Israel Bonds, Jamaica Estates, has doubled in size and by helping hosts of people anony- and added the latest high-tech equip- mously with their largesse, the lists of ment to assist patients who are recov- their acts would in and of itself fill a ering from injuries, lengthy hospital- A Vow Fulfilled—The Fran Laufer delivered from the flames of Nazi book. Of special interest is Fran’s work izations, joint replacements, and ill- Story: Memories and Miracles destruction that engulfed the Jewish with Rivkah Laufer Bikur Cholim, the nesses. A Vow Fulfilled tells the story of world, Fran and Simon came to internationally acclaimed organization “We are truly dedicated to serving Fran Laufer and her husband, the late America with two goals: to rededicate that fulfills one of the Bible’s greatest the frum community and have done so their lives to religious observance and mitzvos, tending the sick. to rebuild their lives in a new land that A Vow Fulfilled is the Laufer story— promised hope and prosperity. They their lives and their legacy. It speaks of succeeded on both counts. With three heartaches and loss, yet of compassion children and a slew of grandchildren and love. Not just for contemporaries, and great-grandchildren, they lived to but also for future generations, this see their family’s resurrection as they book shines light on the human condi- witnessed a rebirth of the Jewish peo- tion, on overcoming the most horren- ple both in the fertile soil of America dous of circumstances and still being and in the newly created state of able to confront life with purity of soul Israel. and generosity of spirit. The title A Vow Fulfilled refers to Meet the author, Fran Laufer, at the the promise Simon made Fran on their Rivkah Laufer Bikur Cholim luncheon wedding day in the Bergen-Belsen DP on June 9 at 11:30 a.m. at Terrace on camp: They would remain observant the Park. For reservations, call 516- Jews for the rest of their lives despite 295-3336 or 718-969-0093. O their experiences during the war. Though the world may have looked Margaret Tietz Rehabilitation away as the Jews were being extermi- Center Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony nated, G-d’s presence permitted Fran A group of rabbis and lay leaders and Simon’s survival. In honoring G-d from the Queens community joined and the parents who had so fervently the festivities marking the opening of Rabbi Fabian Schonfeld and Rabbi Peretz Fran Laufer Steinberg leading the ribbon-cutting ceremony worshipped Him, the newlyweds the remodeled, state-of-the-art reha- at the opening of the Margaret Tietz entrepreneur and philanthropist rededicated themselves to honoring bilitation center located in the Rehabilitation Center. Simon Laufer. This book, available the principles of the faith that had Margaret Tietz Nursing and later this month at your local Judaica maintained the Jewish people for mil- Rehabilitation Center in Jamaica Hills. by investing our resources,” says store and at www.targum.com, will lennia. Rabbi Fabian Schonfeld, rav of Young Michael Fassler, president and CEO of make a worthy addition to the ever- Chief among these principles are Israel of Kew Gardens Hills, and Rabbi Beth Abraham Family of Health growing library of Holocaust memoirs. the concepts of tzedakah and chesed— Peretz Steinberg, rav of Young Israel of Services, headquartered in the Bronx. Born into middle-class families and charity and acts of kindness—and Queens Valley, were honored with the “And as part of our commitment to

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this community, we maintain a sepa- rate kosher kitchen under the Vaad of Queens, offer a Shabbos apartment, a Shabbos elevator, Jewish program- ming, and a full-time rabbi.” Mr. Fassler thanked the rabbis for their continued support, saying, “It is only with your help that we have been able to provide these services to the Orthodox Jewish community.” Recently, Margaret Tietz announced the initiation of daily minyanim. “The minyan consists of Margaret Tietz res- idents, staff, and is augmented by the students of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim in Queens,” according to Resident Rabbi Zavel Pearlman. Rabbi Pearlman is also in the process of instituting a Jewish learning program at the center. Rabbi Naftoli Portnoy, rav of the Jewish Heritage Center of Queens also announced plans to erect an eiruv in the future which would connect the Tietz Center to the Central Queens communities. Randy Palmaira, corporate director of rehabilitation for the Beth Abraham Family of Health Services, proudly boasts that statistically, the Tietz Center beats the national average for patients being treated at their rehab center. “According to national surveys, on average, six out of ten patients are discharged from rehab with functional independence. At Margaret Tietz, our average is seven out of ten.” Approximately 50-60 patients are treated at the rehab center each day. Mr. Palmaira summarizes Tietz’s mis- sion as “Here, Health, and Home.” “Our patients are here so that they can become healthy again and go back home,” he explained. In addition to conventional equip- ment found at other rehabilitation centers, the Tietz Center is filled with state-of-the-art devices. Harnesses and weights offer protection and help sup- port patients as they learn to walk again. Computer generated machines measure patients’ sense of balance. An independent living area, including a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom, trains patients to live independently at home. A newly installed “virtual rehab” computerized gaming program makes recovery more interesting, less tedious, and allows his staff to measure progress more accurately. Speaking at the opening event, Rabbi Portnoy said that he is most impressed with the facility’s outstand- ing honesty and integrity. “It’s not just the nursing and the rehab,” he said. “It’s that they’re doing it all in the best possible way, with the highest of stan- dards.” His berachah to the facility was that “you should continue to be a source of kiddush Hashem in the way you conduct yourselves.” O

Grade Expectations: Regents Success By Rochelle Maruch Miller That Regents Success is the prep program of choice of high-school stu- dents and their parents is not surpris- ing. Coordinated by Eddie Martin, an educator par excellence who estab- lished the program 18 years ago, Regents Success has helped thousands of high-school students throughout

Continued on Page 50 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 49 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS six hours of intensive topic- living environment, chemistry, courses, all of our teachers nently qualified to prepare Continued from Page 49 by-topic review with an earth science, and physics spend months of prep time our students for Regents suc- emphasis on key questions. courses are outstanding in familiarizing themselves with cess. In addition to teaching the Five Towns and Brooklyn Regents Success provides stu- scope, as are those offered in the details and intricacies of their respective topics and prepare for and score high on dents with a comprehensive global history, geography, U.S. the most recent Regents test sophistication skills, our the New York State Regents review of all topics, as well as history and geography, as well exams. All of our teachers teachers infuse their students Exams. test-taking strategies to help as English. return year after year and with a sense of confidence So successful is this superb students maximize their “Every one of our teachers each one is an integral part of and truly prepare them for program that Mr. Martin scores. is New York State licensed the Regents Success team, Regents success.” begins receiving inquiries To fully prepare students and certified,” Mr. Martin working in tandem to maxi- Regents Success prep regarding registration for the for each of the three New York said. Each teacher is a con- mize every student’s score. courses are given at HAFTR courses offered as early as in State Regents examinations in summate professional and is Two of the math Regents cur- High School and at their November. At Regents mathematics, Regents an expert in the subject and ricula have recently under- Brooklyn center at Yeshiva of Success, mediocre scores are Success offers six-hour prep Regents examination material gone drastic changes; our Flatbush Elementary School. never an option. Every one of courses in integrated algebra, he or she teaches. Prior to teachers have written the Advance registration is the courses offered features geometry, and math B. The teaching their respective Regents exams and are emi- requested and advised; walk- ins are accepted. To register for Regents Success, please call Mr. Eddie Martin at 516- 568-7996. Please see their ad on Page 34 for course dates. O

The New Elly And Brochie Kleinman Ohel Regional Family Center In Far Rockaway The mental well-being of a community has a new home. The new Ohel Regional Family Center in Far Rockaway boldly represents Ohel’s mission to meet the ever-growing needs of people and families confronted by emotional challenges, as well as individuals with disabili- ties. This state-of-the-art center, which is soothing and engag- ing, is located at 156 Beach 9th Street in Far Rockaway

50 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES individuals and families at risk, and join together with their families and individuals with developmental or psy- friends to celebrate their special day. chiatric disabilities, in both residential Farbrengen for men: 28th of Sivan. and outpatient settings. Founded in June 20, after morning services. 1969 and with close to 100 residences, Commemorating the arrival of the apartments, and over 30 diverse pro- Lubavitcher Rebbe, OB’M, to the grams, Ohel services have been consis- United States in 1941. tently ranked #1 by New York City. Soul Trek: Family Trip to the Ohel. Touching the lives of thousands of indi- June 21, meet at 10:00 a.m. at viduals at every stage, and every day, Chabad. Join Chabad for a very special Ohel’s professional services are available experience at the Ohel-The throughout New York, and New Jersey. Lubavitcher Rebbe’s resting place in These services include housing, foster preparation for Gimmel Tammuz, the care, outpatient counseling, home-based Rebbe’s yahrzeit. services, school-based services, services Women’s Circle: An Evening of for victims of abuse, and camps. O Inspiration. June 22, 8:00 p.m. Enjoy a night with internationally renowned June Events At speaker, Mrs. Simcha Azouly of Sao Chabad Of The Five Towns Paula, Brazil. At the home of Mrs. Councilman David I. Weprin (center) received ceremonial scissors as a token of thanks for his Chabad of the Five Towns is located Chava Popack, 720 Central Avenue in assistance in opening the center. Also pictured are (L–R) Miriam Lubling, Moshe Zakheim, Rabbi Joseph Fischman (Ohel Board of Directors), Elly and Brochie Kleinman, Mel Zachter (Chairman at 74 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst. To Woodmere. of the Ohel Exectuive Committee), Assemblywoman Audrey Pheffer, Moshe Wieder (Ohel Board of learn more or to register for an event, Farbrengen Dinner in honor of Directors), and Moishe Hellman (President, Ohel Bais Ezra). call 516-295-2478 or visit www Gimmel Tammuz. June 24, 8:15 p.m. .chabad5towns.com. Men and women are invited to an and will serve individuals and families 9700, or e-mail [email protected]. Birthday Shabbat for children born evening of tribute marking the 15th in the Far Rockaway, Five Towns, Ohel Bais Ezra is a pioneering social in the Hebrew month of Tammuz. June yahrtzeit of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, North Shore, and Queens communi- services agency that delivers a breadth of 20, after morning services. Children ties. innovative programs and services for born in the Hebrew month of Tammuz Continued on Page 52 Seasoned Ohel professionals bring to the community a myriad of cultural- ly specific services that are currently provided through Ohel’s centers in Brooklyn, Monsey, Nassau County, and Teaneck. These include a breadth of mental-health services, preventive services, school-based services, com- munity education, and community vol- unteer opportunities. The official opening reception began with tours of the mental-health clinic and offices, and continued with a light breakfast in the auditorium. Many community leaders, principals, and rabbis were in attendance, as well as several elected officials Ohel is proud to call friends. Councilman David I. Weprin, chair- man of the Finance Committee of the New York City Council, was presented with ceremonial scissors by David Mandel, CEO of Ohel, as a token of thanks for his devoted support that ultimately established this new center. Also in attendance was Councilman James Sanders Jr. of Far Rockaway; Assemblywoman Audrey Pheffer; Jonathan Gaska, District Manager of Community Board 14; Simon Felder, Mayor of the Village of Lawrence; Harvey Gordon, executive director of the JCC Of Rockaway Peninsula; and Howard Foster, assistant executive director of the JCC of the Greater Five Towns. Elly and Brochie Kleinman were instrumental partners in the opening of this center and they also received ceremonial scissors. Mr. Kleinman offered heartfelt remarks, emphasizing the vital role the Ohel Regional Family Center plays for the individuals and families in the community. Elly and Brochie Kleinman have deep roots in Ohel; Elly’s parents and Brochie’s aunt and uncle. Michael and Florence Edelstein cel- ebrated the dedication of the entrance of the center in loving memory of their family members who perished in the Holocaust. For more information on the servic- es provided at the Ohel Regional Family Center, please contact Dr. Hindie M. Klein, director, at 347-695- 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 51 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Broadway (corner of Washington together Parkinsonians, spouses, and upon request. The fee is $5. Pre-regis- Continued from Page 51 Avenue) in Lawrence. Concert co- their families in order to help them tration is required. For further infor- sponsors are Lynda and Ben Brafman, better understand the nature of the mation and/or to register please call OB’M. Buffet dinner and live and Sherry and Joel Wiener. A gala col- condition, gain confidence, and join in 516-569-6733, and ask for Gayle. Chassidic music. RSVP required. lation, co-sponsored by the Brafmans community activities. For further Summer Camp Programs. Early Israel Solidarity 10 Day Mission. and Wieners, is to follow the concert. information, please contact Cathy Childhood Day Camp (2-5 years old), June 28-July 8. Chabad of the Five The concert chair is Alan Bankhalter Byrne (ext. 220). Camp Friendship for children with dis- Towns’ 11th Annual Israel Family and the co-chairs are Danny Hiller and Remember When. This program is abilities (5-9 years old), and Summer Mission. O Howard Wolf. Concert tickets are especially designed for memory Country Day Camp (grades K-9). For available by calling the shul office at enhancement and socialization. The further information and/or to register Beth Sholom 516-569-3600 ext. 22 or by visiting cost includes a full range of therapeu- please call the JCC office. O Cantorial Concert, June 9 www.bethsholom.us. O tic activities, morning beverage, Congregation Beth Sholom’s 7th dessert, and a kosher lunch. Round- Continued on Page 53 annual concert in memory of Cantor JCC June Events trip, door-to-door, handicapped-acces- Moshe Ehrlich, z”l, is to feature once The JCC of the Greater Five Towns sible transportation is available on a again, by popular demand, Cantor has a central location in Cedarhurst at limited basis. Registration is limited, Yitzchok Meir Helfgot, cantor of the 207 Grove Avenue and several satellite on a first-come, first-served basis. Park East Synagogue, who is regarded locations around the community. The Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) group Deadline as the premier chazan in the world central phone number is 516-569- at Sons of Israel in Woodmere. The goal today. His repertoire will include selec- 6733. is to offer a safe haven where clients tions dedicated to Yerushalayim. Ongoing Events and family members feel accepted for for Advertising At the concert, Cantor Chaim Adler Cards and Friendship Group. Come who they are. Takes place on will be making his United States debut alone or bring a friend for a fun after- Wednesdays. For further information, as the new Chief Cantor of the noon at the JCC. Enjoy meeting new please contact Lisa Barnett (ext. 210) in the Next Jerusalem Great Synagogue. Beth people, good conversation, and chal- or Chana Pfeifer (ext. 213). Sholom’s own Cantor Joel Kaplan and lenging games. Every Wednesday, Upcoming Events Chazan Sheini Ariel Bekhore will also 1:00–3:00 p.m. For further informa- Tzofim Friendship Caravan. Sunday, Issue is appear. Cantor Daniel Gildar, tion, please call Lisa Stern (ext. 209). June 7, at 3:30 p.m. Celebrate Israel acknowledged as the world’s leading Come Alive Program at Sons of at a live performance with the Tzofim accompanist of cantorial repertoire, Israel in Woodmere. This program Israel Scouts. Admission is free. For Monday, June 8 will accompany the cantors. The Jesse provides an opportunity for home- further information call ext. 204. Aaronson Beth Sholom choir conduct- bound older adults to participate in Dinner Dance for the Holocaust ed by Cantor Eric Freeman, and social, recreational, and intellectual Survivor Group. Thursday, June 11, at at 5:00 P.M. accompanied by Cantor Kaplan’s activities. Kosher lunch will be pro- 7:00 p.m. daughter, Mimi (Kaplan) Levison, will vided and door-to-door transportation 11th Annual Golf Outing. Monday, Call perform a specially arranged is available on a limited basis. For June 15 at the Inwood Country Club. Yerushalayim medley, among other further information, please call Mary Dinner for LIFE members. selections. Sheffield (ext. 219) or Linda Balch Wednesday, June 17, 6:00-9:00 p.m. 516-984-0079 The concert is scheduled to take (ext. 211). “Serve Dinner” will be held at Rocco’s place on June 9 at 7:45 p.m. at Parkinson’s Support Group. The Catering Hall, 71 Main Street in East Congregation Beth Sholom, 390 purpose of this group is to bring Rockaway. Kosher meals available

52 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS his appreciation of limud haTorah, by Continued from Page 52 being kovai itim, no matter how long his work schedule is. He is supported Yeshiva Gedolah Breakfast, June 7 by his wife, Renee, and children, who The Yeshiva Gedolah of the Five attend HALB. Reuben’s commitment Towns will be holding its Seventh Annual to the yeshiva and his learning give Woodmere Breakfast this coming chizuk to the entire beis midrash, and Sunday, June 7, at 9:15 a.m. in the Young the hanhalah is honored to present Israel of Woodmere’s Saul Kaufman him with this award. Social Hall. The breakfast is an opportu- The yeshiva invites the community nity for the community to recognize the to attend the upcoming breakfast and yeshiva’s unique position as a communi- to support this community makom ty beis midrash, offering a myriad of shi- Torah. For more information call 516- urim and chavrusas from early morning 295-8900, ext. 5. O to late at night. The breakfast is a major fundraiser for the yeshiva, appreciated by Achieve Tutors Achieves Results the attendees for the opportunity to give As finals and regents time approach- chizuk to the yeshiva. es, the focus for students and parents The yeshiva will be recognizing alike is on achieving top scores on members of the community for their (L-R): Rabbi Moshe Zev Katzenstein; HaRav Moshe Weinberger; an honoree at last year’s dinner; these examinations. and Rabbi Yitzchak Knobel. active involvement in both the yeshiva Achieve Tutors, founded by Shmuel and the neighborhood. This year’s hon- Rada, is a network of experienced orees are Mr. Dovid Levy and Mr. spirited limud Torah filled both levels on Torah. His wife, Carolyn, is also a role tutors that has been servicing the Five Reuben Levine. Shavuos night, underscoring the yeshi- model of chesed, treating her patients Towns/Far Rockaway, Queens, and Led by Rav Yitzchak Knobel, shlita, va’s reputation as a learning place of while making a kiddush Hashem. Their Brooklyn areas for the past four years. and Rav Moshe Zev Katzenstein, shlita, choice. However, as the yeshiva has children attend Bnos Bais Yaakov and Mr. Rada, a high school biology the yeshiva has experienced tremendous shown in the past, there’s no such thing Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island. It is the instructor, noted that a large number growth over the past year. This past as a beis midrash too full, and a place yeshiva’s honor to recognize Dovid and of parents felt that supplemental zman alone brought 16 new bochurim will be made for anyone who wants to his wonderful mishpachah. instruction in various subject areas and the shiurim and chavrusas are well join for a shiur, a chavrusah, or a place Mr. Reuben Levine, the recipient was necessary for their children to attended by devoted members of the to learn. of the Amud HaTorah award, started achieve academic excellence. To community. In order to accommodate Mr. Dovid Levy, the recipient of the learning in the yeshiva one night a accommodate this need, he created his an already full beis midrash, the yeshiva, Keser Torah award, is a pillar of Torah week with one of the kollel yungerli- network of over 20 tutors to meet the led by its executive director, Mr. Baruch and community involvement, a true osek et. This chavrusah has blossomed into growing demand and is still expanding. Moskowitz, recently air-conditioned and betzarchei tzibbur. For many years he a nightly seder, often late into the Achieve has been highly successful in reconfigured the downstairs level to has served on the Aish Kodesh night. Reuben has grown in his learn- bringing students to higher levels of serve as an expanded eating area during Executive Board, and spends countless ing through the yeshiva and his academic achievement. meal times and an overflow beis hours overseeing the shul’s physical appreciation for the yeshiva has In addition to their private and group midrash, especially for Sunday mornings building. Dovid davens in the yeshiva grown as well. Although busy during sessions, Achieve is offering regents and weekday nights, when community daily and has expressed on many occa- the day as partner at Scientific Fire participation is at a peak. The sounds of sions his appreciation for its makom Prevention Co., Reuben emphasizes Continued on Page 54

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 53 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS individuals who want to make meaning- complexity of living a life of bitachon However, there were many more deserv- Continued from Page 53 ful and lasting changes in their lives.” while still taking an active role in and ing families who had to be turned away It is in this mission that ACTT’s mis- responsibility for one’s life. The Shmuz because the fund did not receive enough review classes as these examinations sion coincides with that of also illustrated bitachon as a learned atti- donations. Although the fund receives a approach. These classes will have a maxi- TheShmuz.com, which is dedicated to tude, one that can and must be acquired grant from the UJA-Federation of NY, mum of 15 students to increase student- bringing learning and social programs to in order to properly rely on Hashem, much of the funds that are given out teacher interaction. As always there will working people who want to make Torah both as the Creator of this world and as come from personal donations, from be separate classes for boys and girls at the a central part of their lives and require the One in whom we can place our trust. people who understand that Jewish chil- Yeshiva of Far Rockaway and B’nos Bais the means to do so. The Shmuz is a com- Offering the opening to ACTT’s session dren need the proper environment year- Yaakov respectively. prehensive and uplifting 45-minute on bitachon, the Shmuz beautifully round. During these especially difficult For private tutoring, group sessions, Torah lecture by Rabbi Shafier on real- demonstrated how honest effort com- times, many families who are unable to or to register for a review class contact life issues as diverse as anger manage- bined with trust in Hashem is an unbeat- afford camp for their children come to Achieve Tutors at 718-683-8476 or ment and parenting to understanding the able formula for success. O the JCCRP requesting help. [email protected]. O reasons behind davening and teshuvah. The JCCRP is a beneficiary agency of Shmuz topics range from categories such Rabbi Michael Scholar Memorial UJA-Federation of New York and a The Shmuz Kicks Off ACTT’s 4th as emunah, hashkafah, and bitachon to Fund Of The JCCRP proud affiliate of Metropolitan Council Year With A Focus On Bitachon Jewish history and philosophy, davening, The Rabbi Michael Scholar Memorial on Jewish Poverty. It works to help the Sunday, May 24 marked the kickoff holidays, and midos. Fund of the Jewish Community Council poor and needy and focuses on issues of ACTT’s 4th year with an address by Like ACTT, the Shmuz seeks to facili- of the Rockaway Peninsula was started and needs of the community. To find out featured speaker, Rabbi BenTzion tate growth and commitment by address- many years ago to help parents who can- more about the JCCRP and its impor- Shafier, director of Tiferes Bnei Torah ing, through a Torah perspective, the not afford to give their children the day tant work, visit www.jccrp.org. O and founder of TheShmuz.com. The issues that impact people’s everyday lives. camp experience. The fund, named after address, entitled “Bitachon and Another popular feature of the Shmuz is a former president of the JCCRP, pro- Rabbi Michael Scholar Memorial Emunah: Understanding the the Shmuz Views, an inspirational d’var vides scholarships to make it possible for Fund Of The JCCRP Difference,” served as the inaugural Torah on each week’s parashah. This Jewish children from needy families to The Rabbi Michael Scholar event for ACTT’s Bitachon 2 program. Elul, Feldheim Publishers will be releas- attend Jewish summer day camps. The Memorial Fund of the Jewish ACTT—Achieving Change Through ing Shmuz on the Parsha, a complete purpose of the fund is to make sure that Community Council of the Rockaway Torah—aims to facilitate “meaningful compilation of divrei Torah on the entire these children spend the summer in an Peninsula was started many years ago to and lasting character improvement by Chumash. The book will be available in environment that will enhance what they help parents who cannot afford to give using a methodology that includes learn- stores by Rosh Hashanah. learned in school and that will strength- their children the day camp experience. ing Torah, performing actions, making TheShmuz.com currently boasts a large en or even create their love for The fund, named after a former presi- commitments, and sharing motivational membership and is growing every day. Yiddishkeit. The fund makes sure that dent of the JCCRP, provides scholar- material.” Through a series of learning Rabbi Shafier’s dynamic lecture, also these children are not involved in activi- ships to make it possible for Jewish chil- modules, ACTT guides participants available on TheShmuz.com, spoke to an ties that may pull them away from dren from needy families to attend through an intellectual, emotional, moti- engaged and eager crowd on the fine dis- Judaism and the Jewish upbringing and Jewish summer day camps. The purpose vational, and experiential learning expe- tinction between the concepts of emu- education they received. of the fund is to make sure that these rience on topics such as ahavas chesed, nah and bitachon as well as the delicate Each year the JCCRP has more appli- children spend the summer in an envi- kavanah during davening, and shemiras balancing act between bitachon and cants for these camp scholarships and ronment that will enhance what they ha’lashon. The goal of the modules is to proper hishtadlus. Drawing on examples the monies collected have to be stretched learned in school and that will strength- serve as support material for a Torah- of perfect bitachon, such as Moshe further. Last year, the fund provided based approach to “foster success for Rabbeinu, the Shmuz elucidated the camp scholarships for 127 children. Continued on Page 64

54 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES endorsed by gedolim such as the Taz large, of whom the majority had no and the Shach who did not live in an connection to anything relating to era of prophecy. There is no chance, Yiddeshkeit. He felt this would be asserts Rav Spitz, that the Chazon something important to keep these Ish would knowingly disregard this Jews connected to their Torah-com- powerful precedent. (The 20th of mitted brethren. Rav Hutner added Sivan was also designated a fast day that he knew that the author of the in the 12th century to commemorate teshuvah himself, Rav Weinberg, zt’l, Different Rulings About Yom Holocaust victims. He responded in massacres in the French city of never participated in these gatherings HaShoah the affirmative, citing as precedent Blois. I am indebted to Rabbi Jacob (I assume he knew this from his close Dear Editor, the institution of the 20th day of J. Schacter, whose 1991 Tishah B’Av friendship with him from their days in Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg writes Sivan as a voluntary fast day in com- shiur on this topic provided the the Slabodka yeshiva). that “the gedolei hador of the post- memoration of the 17th-century sources I have cited.) The quote from the article by Rabbi Holocaust generation were of one Chmielnicki massacres. The crux of the Yom HaShoah issue Spitz, who challenged the veracity of voice in their opposition to making Thus we have at least two gedolim involves whether to commemorate the the quote from the Chazon Ish, zt’l, Yom HaShoah a religiously observant who endorsed the establishment of a Holocaust on Tishah B’Av as part of makes for an interesting read; howev- day” (Letters, May 29). Rabbi Holocaust remembrance day. our ongoing exilic tragedy or whether er, the Steipler Gaon, zt’l, (brother-in- Ginzberg explains that to view the Furthermore, Rabbi Ginzberg cites to set aside a special day. One can law of the Chazon Ish) was quoted Holocaust as sui generis “brings to the Chazon Ish as an opponent of argue both sides cogently, but one often as repeating his illustrious broth- question the basic and fundamental Yom HaShoah, a reference that mer- cannot dismiss the pro-Yom HaShoah er-in-law’s opinion the exact way it is understanding of the tochachah in its examination. It is true that it is argument as inconsistent with the written in his igros. (I believe it can be the Torah, of basic Chazal, and the written in the Kovetz Igros of the teachings of Chazal. found both in Peninei HaGrik and writings of many of our greatest com- Chazon Ish (1:97) that our genera- Avi Goldstein Pe’eir Hador). In addition, this is the mentaries throughout the ages.” tion has no power to create a new Far Rockaway way his nephew (and probably the per- Rabbi Ginzberg is mistaken; there fast day, stating that such power son closest to the Chazon Ish), the were indeed Holocaust-era gedolim inhered only in the generations that Rabbi Ginzberg responds: Gaon Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita, who believed that a special day is possessed prophecy. However, a I am indebted to Rabbi Avi quotes him. Not only is this quoted in warranted for Holocaust commemo- 1981 article in the journal HaMaor Goldstein for taking the time to read various publications, he baruch ration. Rabbi Yechiel Yaakov by Rabbi Aryeh Leib Spitz chal- and comment on my recent article and Hashem is with us today and can be Weinberg, who was a survivor, writes lenged the veracity of this particular letter regarding Yom HaShoah and for directly asked this question, as I myself (Seridei Eish 2:30): “In my opinion, missive, arguing that “it is impossi- his insightful comments. did on several occasions. I invite it is proper to establish a special day ble to believe that the gaon the I would just like to respond in kind Rabbis Goldstein, Schacter, and Spitz of mourning and remembrance in Chazon Ish, zt’l, wrote it, whereas with two points. I am fully aware of the to do so as well. memory of the rabbanim and the this letter is in opposition to the law teshuvah of the Seridei Eish. However, Regarding the question of 20 Sivan, holy ones of Israel who were killed, and to custom.” the late rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva Chaim there are significant differences slaughtered, and burned for the sake Rather, asserts the article, the let- Berlin, HaRav Yitzchok Hutner, zt’l, between the two (this will be, be’H, the of G-d’s name.” ter was not properly copied by those already discussed this teshuvah in a theme of a future on article on the Rabbi Yitzchak Herzog, in early who compiled the Kovetz Igros. The public Q&A session at a Torah subject). 1945, was asked whether halachah writer takes it as self-evident that Umesorah convention (made available In regard to the quote from Rav countenances the establishment of a the Chazon Ish was aware of the to the public) and said the teshuvah separate day of mourning for institution of 20 Sivan as a fast was addressed to the community at Continued on Page 57

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 55 Fallsburg. Thus, he absorbed the yeshivishe derech that enlarged his Munkacser Rebbe To chassidishe warmth. This unique blend of Torah and ahavas Yisrael ignites the hearts of his students. Visit The Five Towns This special combination reflects that of his holy father-in-law, the Munkacser Rebbe, shlita, who, in his Preparations are under way for the today’s much respected Munkacser son-in-law, HaRav HaGaon Rav youth, ingested Torah learning in the Annual Breakfast to benefit the Rebbe, Grand Rabbi Moshe Leib Yosef Horowitz, shlita, a scion of Telshe Yeshiva in Cleveland as well Munkacser Yeshiva Chaim V’Shalom. Rabinowitz, the worthy grandson of illustrious rabbinic families and a as at Beis Medrash Elyon in Spring In what has become a yearly tradition, Valley. the fundraising breakfast will be held Over the course of five decades, the in the home of Mr. and Mrs. Yussie Rebbe has gained the utmost respect Ostreicher at 184 Wildacre Avenue in and reverence of Jews worldwide. Lawrence on Sunday, June 21 at Besides being an accomplished 9:30 a.m. Torah-giant whose daas Torah is val- Yussie and Susan Ostreicher, who ued by all of Klal Yisrael, he is have graciously opened their home admired for his dedication to helping for this event, are close friends and a Jew in need regardless of his or her ardent supporters of the yeshiva. The background. The Rebbe devotes many Ostreicher family has deep roots in hours every day to help Yidden who the holy chassidic dynasty of find themselves in dire situations, be Munkacs stemming all the way back they financial, medical, legal, or spir- to the glory days of pre-Holocaust itual. The Rebbe’s home is a much Europe when Yussie’s paternal grand- sought after address for people world- father, Reb Menachem Ostreicher, wide from all walks of life who seek a”h, served as one of the roshei his advice and brachos. kehillah in Munkacs and helped It is with great enthusiasm that direct the community under the lead- the community welcomes the news ership of the previous Munkacser that this year’s breakfast will be Rebbe, Rav Chaim Eluzar Spira, graced by the presence and participa- zy”a, the holy Minchas Eluzar. Yussie tion of the Munkacser Rebbe. The maintains a close relationship and is event will serve as a unique opportu- a devoted chassid of the current nity for members of the community Rebbe, shlita. to personally meet and hear divrei Today’s Munkacser Torah institu- the Minchas Eluzar. noted talmid chochom in his own Torah and chizuk from the Rebbe. tions worldwide are a continuation of Yeshiva Chaim V’Shalom, one of right who imbibed Torah at the feet This will be the first time the Rebbe the vast and elaborate network inau- the jewels in the crown of Munkacs of Torah giants such as Rabbi will address the Five Towns Jewish gurated by the previous Munkacser Torah institutions, is under the Yitzchok Soloveitchik of Brisk and community and it is definitely an rebbes. They are being expanded by dynamic leadership of the Rebbe’s Rabbi Elya Ber Wachtfogel of South event nobody will want to miss. O

56 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES LETTERS TO THE EDITOR news of apprehension of a terrorist Rabbi Kook Continued from Page 55 group plotting to bomb synagogues, although there is no immediate Issues Wake-up Herzog, zt’l, no source was given for threat posed here in Nassau County, his opinion, and it’s hard to discuss his the entire force is on alert and is tak- opinion without being able to review ing special precautions watching and Call the written teshuvah explaining it. patrolling synagogues and other My second and main point is that Jewish institutions. this is really all inconsequential. When C. Simon Felder Visit To Five Towns, June 8-11. I referred to the gedolei ha’dor of the Mayor, Village of Lawrence BY M. YAFFE previous generation, I was specifically (Letter received on May 27) referring to the gedolim who were our At a recent conference held in rebbeim, or the rebbeim of our Weizmann Institute which was attend- to city councils, academia, and at police rebbeim. All of us who grew up in ed by Rechovot Mayor Rachamim stations, and army bases. America were talmidim of the gedolei Malul and city councilmen, featured Among his many religious and social ha’dor who guided us in every aspect of speaker Rechovot Chief Rabbi Simcha initiatives are the Spiritual Partners of our way of life. I am referring to WHAT’S YOUR Kook unambiguously declared, “A new Soldiers Program, which united Jews ha’rabbanim ha’geonim Rav Moshe Hitler has arisen to destroy the Jews, from around the world in prayer on Feinstein, Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky, Rav from young to old. A new Haman is in behalf of Israeli soldiers in combat; the Yitzchok Hutner, Rav Yaakov Yitzchok OPINION? Persia, and the world’s response to his Generations program which infuses Ruderman, Rav Soloveitchik (The calls is feeble. children in secular schools with love for Rav), et al. These were our Torah lead- “Let us hold fast to our faith, assured the Jewish people and Eretz Israel, his ers and they guided us in every aspect WE WANT TO KNOW! that the Jewish people will never be Mehadrin Rechovot kashrus superviso- of our chinuch. Why is this topic (on destroyed and will exist forever. The ry agency, and Shabbatonim for univer- which all of them were of one mind) Jewish people will return to its vigor, may sity students. not acceptable to us, and why do we E-MAIL US AT it be soon, in our days,” he concluded In recognition of the admiration and have to look around the globe for oth- with words of encouragement. veneration which Israelis across the ers who differed in their approach? [email protected] Rabbi Simcha Kook, the Chief Rabbi board feel towards him, Rabbi Kook was Granted that other gedolim may have and Av Beis Din of Rechovot, is a unique appointed the rabbi of the venerable disagreed (of which I’m not really con- figure beloved by all sectors of his city as Churva synagogue in the Old City, an vinced); shouldn’t this united opinion OR UPLOAD well as throughout Israel. At a time of appointment also confirmed by the of our gedolei ha’dor in America be suf- deep fractiousness in Israeli society, world-famous posek Rav Yosef S. Elyashiv ficient for us to follow suit? Rabbi Kook is a uniting figure who cross- and the Chief Rabbis of Israel. Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg YOUR COMMENTS es religious, cultural, and social lines to Rabbi Kook will visit the Five Towns reach all echelons of Israeli society. community from Monday, June 8 Safe Shuls AT www.5tjt.com Rabbi Kook has been invited to every through Thursday, June 11. He will be Dear Editor, school in Rechovot from the most reli- hosted by David and Barbara Martin and I have spoken with our 4th gious to the most secular. He has hosted will visit local Jewish institutions and Precinct inspector, Paul Clark, who heritage tours for secular school classes meet with prominent members of the assures me that, given the recent in the Great Synagogue. He gives classes community. O

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 57 ma patients, of whom 80 percent are “When the Shock Treatment S’derot Trauma children, says Daliah Yosef, the trauma Center opened in S’derot, it made center’s director. treatment for S’derot residents much “I’ve already handed out dismissal more efficient and easier, as they Facilities To Close letters to the staff at the center,” said received help on the spot” said Dr. Yosef on May 21, two days after the Katz, who also heads the shock center. rocket attack. “S’derot residents feel more at home B Y ANAV SILVERMAN this to happen to us during the The other fifty percent of the trau- being treated at the center.” ceasefire,” she says. ma center’s funding is provided by the “Going back to the original way— Imagine that you are 18 years old. The back of the Dahan’s home is Israeli Government Ministries of transporting S’derot trauma victims You have just completed high school covered in debris and glass, while Health, Revenue, and Seniors—not by ambulance to hospitals outside and in a few months you will enter the rocket shrapnel marks the walls and nearly enough to keep the center open. the area is absolutely ridiculous,” army. In the meantime, you spend your ceiling of the home. An evening “The harshest part of this reality is said Dr. Katz. “The cost of transport- time going out with friends and work- breeze blows through the windowless that hundreds of S’derot children will ing patients is more expensive and ing to save some money—like any windows. Ilan’s father, Avi, stands by be left with no place to go for treat- many times there are not enough other typical teenager in Israel. his son. “I was terrified that some- ment,” says Yosef. ambulances to transport all victims, One afternoon, you come home thing had happened to him,” Avi says Ilan is fortunate that he is 18 and especially during episodes when exhausted from work and collapse into in a quiet voice. can therefore receive treatment at the there are a series of rocket attacks bed for a nap. Suddenly, in the middle Now imagine that after such a S’derot Mental Health Center, which on the city.” of your nap you find yourself waking rocket attack, the kind of therapy ministers to adult victims from ages Indeed in the recent rocket attack, the up to the sound of glass shattering—all needed to get shock victims back on 18 and up. However, the Mental S’derot Shock Treatment Center treated over your back. track is no longer available. Due to Health Center’s director, Dr. all eight victims of shock including a It takes you a moment to realize significant budget cuts, trauma Adrianna Katz, says that although her woman injured by rocket shrapnel. that the window above your bed has therapy facilities in S’derot, which center is in no danger of closing, she S’derot’s trauma facilities remain a exploded and that shards of glass lie have played a valuable role in reha- does not have enough staff to deal vital part of the S’derot community, everywhere. Your dad comes racing bilitating residents of the rocket- with over 6,000 trauma victim files— which for eight years has been under in, picks you up, and carries you out- torn community, are now in danger which continue to grow every day. Gaza rocket attack. As the city’s resi- side to safety. of closing down. In addition to Yosef’s Trauma dents continue to live under the range Welcome to a moment in the life of Those who will be affected most Center, the S’derot Shock Treatment of Qassam fire, it is the therapy and Ilan Dahan, a S’derot 18-year-old by this recent development are Center which operates under the care that Dr. Katz and Dalia Yosef pro- who slept through the siren warning S’derot‘s children, as the S’derot trauma center, is also in danger of vide which helps residents return to a of the impending Qassam, only to Trauma Center, which caters mostly shutting down. semblance of normal life. wake up to the rocket explosion in his to S’derot children and teenagers The Shock Treatment Center In the meantime, Ilan Dahan con- backyard on May 19. ages 17 and below—is on its way out. opened three years ago, alongside tinues to hope that someday he can “It’s a miracle that all I got was this Fifty percent of the center’s fund- the trauma center, to provide imme- wake up to a rocket-free sky. O scratch,” Ilan says, dazedly pointing to ing comes from the International diate treatment to shock victims a red mark on his back, where a piece Fellowship of Christians and Jews, or after rocket attacks. Before then, of glass cut through. Keren LeYedidut. The organization S’derot residents had to be trans- Anav Silverman is a native of Maine and made Ilan’s family stands around in can no longer provide the funds to ported 20 minutes away to aliyah to Israel five years ago. She works for the Sderot Media Center (www.SderotMedia.com) shock. His mother, Shula, looks at keep the center going. Ashkelon’s Barzilai Hospital or to and is a student at the Hebrew University of her son tearfully. “I never expected The trauma center treats 620 trau- Be’er Sheva’s Soroka Hospital. Jerusalem.

58 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Daf Yomi Insights An Eye-Opening Experience

BY RABBI AVROHOM Now that we are learning the sec- SEBROW ond perek of Bava Metzia, which deals with the laws of lost objects, it’s worth As I was preparing for a recent daf noting a segulah mentioned for finding yomi shiur, I came across an article in lost items. the Hamodia: The antiquities authori- ties and Israeli police recovered a 2,000-year-old document that was taken by Palestinians from an unknown cave. The document was written on papyrus and was a receipt for payment of Miriam bas Yaakov’s kesubah. The date on the receipt is four years after the Churban. The next day’s daf dealt with precisely that doc- ument and circumstance. The Gemara asks what to do with a receipt for a kesubah that was found. Do we give it A 2,000-year-old receipt for payment of a to the husband or the husband’s fami- kesubah. ly as proof that they paid the kesubah? Perhaps not. The woman might have Perhaps the most famous segulah is written the receipt in anticipation of the one where the owner of the lost receiving funds but in fact never gave item gives tzedakah l’ilui nishmas the the receipt because she was never Tanna R’ Meir Baal HaNes. This segu- paid! Now the same question can be lah has different forms. If I understand raised about Miriam bas Yaakov’s correctly, the Mieil Tzedakah says the receipt. I don’t really have much to tzedakah should be specifically in the write about this subject, but any sub- form of oil or candles to provide light. ject that has a picture to go with it will I guess a modern-day interpretation of generally be the one chosen for my article! Continued on Page 60

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 59 Daf Yomi Continued from Page 59

that segulah would be to pro- vide light bulbs, or funds for electricity. Nowadays, most people who use this particular segu- lah just give money to any tzedakah, not exclusively for light. In the sefer Peninei Rabbeinu HaKelios Yaakov, it is said in the name of the Steipler that he used to instruct people who lost an item to say the following Midrash (Bereishis Rabbah 53:14): Rebbe Binyamin said, “Everyone is in a state of virtual blindness until Hashem enlightens them, as it is stated (21:19): ‘Then Hashem opened her eyes and she perceived a well of water.’” Rebbe Binyamin is explaining a peculiarity evi- dent in the pasuk. What does is mean Hashem opened her eyes? Surely her eyes were open already, as is evident from the circumstances. Yishmael was dying of thirst and Hagar had no water to give him. She searched for water but found none. So what does it mean that Hashem “opened” her eyes? Rebbe Binymain explains that the well was there all along, but she was not aware of it. Hashem made her aware, hence He “opened up her eyes.” Similarly, with lost objects the item might be right there in front of us— we just don’t see it for what- ever reason. We need Hashem’s help to be able to find it. Therefore, reading this Midrash reinforces this concept within us and is therefore a segulah for find- ing lost items. Many people combine the two segulos mentioned above. They say the Midrash and also give tzedakah l’ilui nishmas R’ Meir Baal HaNes. Afterwards they say, “G-d of Meir answer me. G-d of Meir answer me and help find my lost object.” When I was learning in Eretz Yisrael, a friend of mine, Eliyahu, lost his tefillin. After four months of using a gemach pair, he finally called his mother to tell her that she had to fork over money to buy a new pair. His mother asked him, “Did you give money to tzedakah and say the accepted formula?” He replied that he hadn’t. His mother insisted that he do it then. “But it’s too late! I lost my pair of tefillin over four months ago!” His mother insisted that he try it, and if he still couldn’t find them, then she would send him money for new tefillin. Eliyahu recited the appro- priate Midrash and tefillah and then went to the grocery store to buy a roll for break- 60 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES fast. Sanhedria Murchevet had two stores at that time (I think they still do), a large one and a small one. He usually shopped at the large one but decided on that day to go to the small one. He went to the bread shelf to take a roll, and lo and behold there were his tefillin sitting on the shelf! The store owner told him that he should pay rent for his storing of the tefillin for four months. His tefillin were in the store the whole time, but he never saw them! I e-mailed a pre-publication edition of this article to him, and he e-mailed me the fol- lowing story, which was writ- ten by a blogger. I e-mailed the author and he gave me permission to include it in my article. As you can see, it was written by a kalter Litvak who doesn’t like to use segulos: NNN Yesterday, I was sitting in my office, ready to order lunch, when I realized my wallet wasn’t in my pocket. I couldn’t believe it wasn’t there. I knew I had it earlier that day, so I couldn’t have left it at home. I looked around my desk space and checked my other pockets. Nothing. Exasperated, I mentioned it to one of my Chassidic co-work- ers. “Say Amar Reb Binyamin [author’s note: the Midrash mentioned above],” he sug- gested. “Yeah,” I said noncommit- tally, not wanting to get into a conversation about segulos. “Give tzedakah to Reb Meir Ba’al HaNes.” I asked, “How much do you think I should give?” “I don’t know. Depends how much you’ve got to lose,” he shrugged. Well, I had a bunch of cred- it cards, my driver’s license, insurance card, AAA member- ship card, and about $100. So I figured $5 should be about enough. But still I resisted the temptation to try the segulah. In the afternoon, I went around to every store I had gone to that day, thinking maybe I left my wallet on a store counter when I paid. No luck. First I tried the gro- cer where I had grabbed a readymade sandwich that morning. The Chassidic owner at the counter said he didn’t see any wallet. “Did you say Amar Reb Binyamin?” he asked. “No,” I answered meekly. “Well, say it. You’ll see, it’ll turn up.” The same scene happened wherever I went. No one had my wallet, but everyone sug- gested that I say Amar Reb Binyamin, give a few dollars

Continued on Page 62 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 61 Daf Yomi Continued from Page 61

to Reb Meir Baal HaNes, or both. I called the bus company of the bus I had taken to work in the morn- ing. I thought it might have fallen out on the seat. But, no. No wallets had been reported found. “Try back tomorrow,” the woman on the phone said. “Maybe something will have shown up.” No mention about Amar Reb Binyamin here, though. I started to think maybe I should try the Amar Reb Binyamin. It couldn’t hurt; it’s just a few words. The next day, I was beginning to get really anxious. I couldn’t waste time. If I didn’t find it soon, I would have to cancel my credit cards. I came into work with a heavy feeling. Coming up the stairs to my office I decided that I wouldn’t resist any longer. I mumbled the Amar Reb Binyamin, and I figured I might as well go all the way and do the money thing. I walked into my office and turned on my computer while sitting down at my desk. I opened a drawer to get some papers out, and lo and behold there was my wallet! I blinked. It was lying right there in front of me. I was sure I had checked there yesterday. It seemed that I was actually blind until I recited that miracle passage! O

Rabbi Sebrow leads a daf yomi chaburah at Eitz Chayim of Dogwood Park in West Hempstead and is an outreach professional at JEP of LI. He can be contacted at [email protected].

For the next issue, deadline for reserving ad space is Monday, June 8 at 5:00 P.M.

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Call 516-984-0079

62 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 63 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Each year the JCCRP has receive enough donations. its important work, visit and resources available to O Continued from Page 54 more applicants for these camp Although the fund receives a www.jccrp.org. help them deal with the reper- scholarships and the monies grant from the UJA-Federation cussions resulting from the en or even create their love for collected have to be stretched of NY, much of the funds that Madoff Help For Long Madoff scandal. Yiddishkeit. The fund makes further. Last year, the fund pro- are given out come from per- Islanders, June 16 “This is a special opportuni- sure that these children are not vided camp scholarships for sonal donations, from people More than 1,000 Long ty for Long Islanders victim- involved in activities that may 127 children. However, there who understand that Jewish Islanders have been victim- ized by the Madoff fraud to pull them away from Judaism were many more deserving children need the proper envi- ized by the Madoff fraud. Join come together and learn what and the Jewish upbringing and families who had to be turned ronment year-round. During them as they discuss their they can do from this point education they received. away because the fund did not these especially difficult times, options at the Madoff- forward,” said Ron Stein, CFP many families who are unable Help.com Victims Meeting on founder of Madoff-Help.com to afford camp for their chil- Tuesday, June 16, 6:45-9:00 and president of Good Harvest dren come to the JCCRP p.m. at the Port Washington Financial Group. “The meet- requesting help. Library. The victims meeting, ing will feature a panel of top The JCCRP is a beneficiary hosted by Madoff-Help.com, tax and litigation experts dis- agency of UJA-Federation of an informative website devot- cussing the latest approaches. New York and a proud affiliate ed to assisting victims of the We hope to be able to give vic- of Metropolitan Council on Madoff fraud and the Madoff tims of this unfortunate situa- Jewish Poverty. It works to survivors online support tion the information necessary help the poor and needy and group, is designed to give to start dealing with these focuses on issues and needs of Long Island victims the repercussions and begin the the community. To find out opportunity to discuss and financial healing process.” more about the JCCRP and learn the latest information Attendees will have the chance to learn about tax implications, the latest on Clawback, and new develop- ments regarding the July 2 fil- ing deadline that can increase SIPC payments. In addition, the most current news about grassroots organizing efforts to help maximize benefits for Madoff victims will be dis- cussed as well as IRS tax refunds, new Congressional legislation, and why the new IRS Safe Harbor approach may not be the best for victims. Madoff-Help.com is a one- stop shop for victims of the Madoff fraud. Operated by Good Harvest Financial Group, a fee-based financial firm founded in 1992 and located in Huntington, Long Island, the website offers perti- nent and up-to-date informa- tion pertaining to the Madoff fraud. For more information on the Long Island Madoff- Help.com victims meeting, contact 631-271-1231 or visit www.madoff-help.com. O

Judith Goldsmith-Lazaros And Emunah: Both Hoping To Come Out Winners On June 18 Renowned interior designer, Judith Goldsmith-Lazaros, has been selected to be one of four leading designers who have been asked to submit entries to the MacKenzie-Childs Tabletop Contest. The tabletop design entries, which are on display now at the MacKenzie- Childs store at 14 West 57th Street in New York City, will be judged and the winner announced on June 18 at a special shopping event and reception. Ms. Goldsmith-Lazaros, owner/designer of All My Favorites on Spruce Street in Cedarhurst, has 25 years of experience in the interior design business, and has been lauded for her enchanting designs. She specializes in space planning and residential interiors. Her attention to color and detail as well as her knowl- 64 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES edge of the industry has earned her a EMUNAH and personally feel thrilled And they sure did. Shlomie Dachs and the Mekimi world class reputation. This installation knowing that if I win, EMUNAH’s HASC Center provides a multitude Orchestra, old friends of HASC is just one of many of her projects which children at risk in Israel will benefit.” of services for men and women with Center, wowed the audience with have been featured in numerous archi- MacKenzie-Childs is a designer, developmental and intellectual disabil- singing and dancing. Members of the tectural and home design shows and manufacturer, and multi-channel mer- ities in the frum community. The Lag audience were invited up to the stage publications. chant of high quality, hand-crafted B’Omer outing is one of many special to sing and dance with Shlomie and Her artful installation is part of a ceramic and enamel tableware, furni- events that the agency arranges for the the orchestra. There was even a faux MacKenzie-Childs event which show- ture, and home and garden acces- cases spectacular table set designs as sories, and is known for distinctive seen through the eyes of four top interi- designs that combine vibrant colors or designers and is open to the public for and pattern-on-pattern surface decora- viewing and voting from May 18-June 18 tion to create a fresh, original aesthet- both at the MacKenzie-Childs store and ic that is best described as “tradition online at Mackenziechilds.com. The with a twist.” The retailer has offered a famed merchant has offered to donate 20% discount off a single item in con- 15% of the proceeds from the June 18 junction with this special event. special event to the charity of choice You can vote for the winning design- nominated by the contest winner. er and shop prior to the event by visit- Ms. Goldsmith-Lazaros, who nomi- ing the store, and you can order ahead nated EMUNAH of America as her for the June 18 event by e-mailing an charity of choice, feels excited at the order for this presale to prospect of winning and benefiting [email protected]. EMUNAH, the organization which won “If you are looking for something spe- Enjoying Lag B’Omer with HASC. the prestigious 2008 Israel Prize. If Ms. cial for your home this event is a great Goldsmith-Lazaros wins, EMUNAH opportunity to get a good price and help people it serves and for individuals bonfire with smoke, around which to will receive a sizeable contribution to those in need. A win-win situation,” con- from other agencies. dance and become infused with the help it maintain its five children’s resi- cluded Ms. Goldsmith-Lazaros. O There was so much to do and to see. Lag B’Omer spirit. dential homes for abused and aban- Each staff member happily shared this Beloved events, such as these, doned children in Israel, as well as its HASC Center Lag B’Omer Festival experience with the people in their become indelibly inscribed in the men- network of 135 daycare centers and Smiling faces were seen on so many care. The strolling stilt walkers and tal scrapbooks of the many people who educational and social welfare projects of the hundreds of people who attend- jugglers and the carnival booths offer- enjoyed the festival. The events revive throughout the country. ed this year’s exciting HASC Center ing chances to win tickets that later the spirit and become milestones to “I’m flattered that I was chosen to Lag B’Omer Festival in Asser Levy could be used to purchase exciting reach each year to help transform the participate in the contest. My clients Park in Coney Island. This annual fes- prizes were just a few of the wonderful mundane into the exotic. love the MacKenzie-Childs merchan- tival is the highlight of the year for activities offered at the festival. The Many thanks to the sponsors of this dise. You walk into that showroom— many of them, one they look forward staff from HASC Center handed out event: J Drugs, Mountain Fruit, it’s cheerful, uplifting, whimsical,” to with eager anticipation. A full delicious sandwiches and drinks to all. Choice paper Co, A & B Drimmer’s, said Ms. Goldsmith-Lazaros. “I hope schedule of fun and entertainment was When it seemed that it was all over, Tristate Apartment Furnishers, people will see my installation and planned with many other local agen- the best was yet to come. Friedman’s Grocery, Quality Frozen vote, as well as join us on June 18 and cies invited to share in the festivities. The anticipation was in the air. Foods, To Life Water Co, and shop. I am a long-time supporter of Everyone came to have a great time. Everyone knew what was coming next. Sandwich Express. O

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 65 66 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES It is such a refreshing break for both have the comfort of my TV in the tening to the latest class gossip about Express Or of us. As we approach the corner kitchen, indicating to me that Josh is the rebbi that lost his temper yesterday. before the shul, I expect Josh to fol- not the only one who has changed I wonder how we got here; things low our weekly ritual and part ways. over the years. weren’t always this way. So many Local: I usually continue straight to shul The TV was the most recent change. changes, some initiated by her, some and he turns right and walks to the Not that I am opposed to the change— by me. At times, so difficult. In a fam- train en route to work. It was an I was never comfortable with the kids ily, things can get complicated and There Are No unspoken awkward moment that I sitting in front of the TV, feeding their sometimes painful. Our kids take so chose to ignore for fear of losing my faces as if they were robots engaged in much for granted. At their young age, Shortcuts On The relationship with him. You know how a mechanical act. I will admit that I they have never had a conversation people get about religion and stuff. miss The Today Show, or the human with someone who isn’t religious. They This particular morning he turned connection I used to get from Charlie don’t even understand that there is Train Of Life to me, shaking my hand to say “Good Gibson on Good Morning America. another world out there, one that is so Shabbos,” but this time his hand didn’t Now my entire connection to the different than the place they live. withdraw, and there was a moment of world exists in the newspaper I peruse I often think about the fact that Josh BY RABBI DR. SIMCHA Y. pause that was sort of awkward. I tilt- with my morning coffee. I am happy. lived here for 10 years before I moved COHEN ed my head in a questioning and wel- Until I take a sip from my coffee and in. How many people passed him by on coming way, looking at him. I hoped to grimace; I bought it from the local kosher their way to shul, never noticing him? I pulled into the driveway after my help him with what he wanted to say. bakery. It was a far cry from the robust What was it about me that made us early minyan and daf and waved to Josh, Although Josh’s working on Shabbos flavor and aroma of my favorite dough- connect? We live here now with our my neighbor of over 23 years. I get a cer- was a non-subject between us, I always nut shop. I am sorely reminded of the past buried deep in the obscurity of tain good feeling when I see Josh. I wanted to discuss it. recent release of a list of questionable our many coverings. Layers of decep- remember a Shabbos morning and my “I think I’m opening late today,” he establishments. To my horror, my dough- tion that allow us to traverse this place usual routine of waking to a silent said. “Maybe I’ll pray with you.” I was nut shop was on the list. As I bite into a unnoticed. Pretending like we have the peaceful feeling that only Shabbos thrilled, “Excellent!” was the word that poor replication of the one and only right to take things for granted like a brings. This particular day was unevent- impulsively shot from my lips. My Boston Crème donut, I am not satisfied. real FFB. I hurry past my wife as I run ful in a good way. I prepared a cup of enthusiasm generated a wide smile from When did kosher become so hard? I to my train and I reach the platform coffee, read a bit from the parashah, and Josh, which was followed by his affirma- ponder the difficult question of reli- with a few minutes to spare. This is the at 8:40, I whispered a soft and affection- tion. “I knew you’d like that,” he said. gious growth as I look at my black hat small social world that I have created ate “Good Shabbos” into the sleeping Fast-forward. This change in morn- on the server in the next room. How with the regular commuters. We meet ear of my wife. I closed my front door ing ritual became a habit. Eventually weird is it that there is always a wig and share an hour of each other’s lives, and skipped down the four stairs in he would stay home for lunch. Within hanging on the corner post of my actually talking about stuff that may front of my house. As I reached the side- three months he was completely stairs? Would I ever think that the cute make a difference, something that is walk, I was immediately intercepted by shomer Shabbos. I see Josh every morn- girl who I used to secretly date in the not heard of in our day of rushing and my friend and weekly walking partner, ing leaving for the 8:00 a.m. minyan as ’70s would today be a 47-year-old- running. Many of our group never my neighbor Josh. I return from my 6:00. grandma who wears a wig and would knew each other before we met on the Genuinely happy to see each I swiftly pass the living room, into never compromise her laws of mod- train. Our only commonality was our other, we exchange warm greetings. the kitchen where my kids are sitting esty? I see her as she scurries, tossing pocket of time, warped between one We begin our weekly walk. For for breakfast. I’m wondering what the things into knapsacks, doing my daugh- hectic world and the next—unaccount- around a third of a mile we walk and weather is going to be. I am intensely ter’s hair, reading with my son, all the talk about whatever comes to mind. conscious of the fact that I no longer while a phone attached to her ear lis- Continued on Page 76

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 67 68 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 69 SERVICES SERVICES PROVIDED PROVIDED

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Golf, theater, Call 516-263-6417 BR, new EIK, and bths ...... $859K steady financial growth & stability. library ...... $199,999 Back Lawrence — 5 BR, double height Residual income for the life of each Call 631-664-0075 Woodsburgh/ Woodmere — One of great rm ...... $1.875K account. Territories avail. We train & largest co-ops in 5 Towns. 3 huge BR, 3 Lawrence-Cedarhurst — Renovated support. 718-687-1699, career@fidelity- Far Rockaway: 2 Family. All NU, full bths, huge LR, separate huge FDR, Homes for Rent ...... $3500-$4200 payment.com 3 over 1 Bdrm, 3 full baths. Great large beautiful EIK, grand foyer, pil- Milky Forst Properties Inc 516-239-0306 Location ...... $599K Stockbrokers — Lantern Investments. Call 516-322-3555 lars, 9 foot ceilings. must see. Offices in LI and NYC offer experienced Asking ...... $500K, let’s talk. Open Houses 6/7 206 Gibson Blvd. — 11:30-1:30. Mint 3 brokers exceptional growth opportunity. Realtor’s co-op 516-295-7776 Lawrence: OURS ONLY!! BR +office, 2 bth, ranch, den +fplc, High Payout. Latest tech and research. BRICK, C/H COL, Stately BRICK, w/old Benefits. EIK. Walk YI Hewlett. Meet Robin. . . world charm, Hi ceilings, 6Br, 4.5 Cedarhurst: Nu to Mkt. Handyman ...... $459K 516-374-0002 or fax 516-374-8443, BTHS, Kosher Eik, Lg. LR W/FPL, Lg. Special/ Builder, 50'x100',Quiet Block, First floor Co-ops [email protected] FDR, Library, Fin. Bsmt., Lg Prop., Prime loca'n, Quick Sale: . . . . . $329K 288 Cedarhurst Ave. E3 — 12:30-2. 2 WALK ALL. Preschool — Yeshiva in Far Rockaway/ BR, 2 bths, FDR, Florida room. $319K 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 5 Town Homes 516-569-5710 5 Towns area seeks a full time pre- 288 Cedarhurst Ave. E2 — 12:30-2. CH, school assistant for the 2009-2010 school Miami Beach — Tower 41. Ocean View. 1 BR, EIK, terrace, ...... $155K year. Please fax resume 516-791-3901 Far Rockaway: Coop, 3Br, 1Bth Hampshire House — BA. 2 BR, 2 bths, 1 bdrm, 17th floor. Stunning. att: Preschool Lr/Dr, Walk to All ...... $179K updated kitchen. $299K sale, $2300 rent. Call 516-322-3555 732-522-0813 Call Pat. Medical assistant/ receptionist wanted Woodmere — 2 BR, 2 new bths, near by Shomer Shabbos ob-gyn office. all, Call Edith...... $192.5K 516-616-4522 Woodsburgh — 6 BR, 4 bths, custom- built, huge colonial. POR. Call Renee Administrative assistant needed for Sue Schachter Realty 516-295-1860 busy midtown office. Responsibilities include: Spreadsheets, Mass e-mailings, Woodmere/Cedarhurst Oppty! scheduling appointments, cold calling. 12,000 sq. ft. approx. 90’x150’, Colonial, Must be proficient in MS Office. E-mail 17 rooms, full bsmt. with hi ceilings, resumes: [email protected] clean 2 car garage plus storage, 6 space parking, 2 family, professional use, Menahel / Assistant for prestigious accountant, Esq., medical and/or educa- Brooklyn Kiruv Yeshiva. Boys division — tional and religious uses. Grand colonial primarily JH and HS. Excellent opportuni- with charm and great possibilities. ty — leading to position as Menahel. Available at once . . . $875K Negotiable Fax resume: 718-642-4740, call 718-642-8804 Owner 516-322-3555

Shevach High School seeks teachers for Lawrence — 18 Berkley Place September ’09 — Spanish, Living Center hall col., 4 BR, 3 bths, stunning Environment, Earth Science, and Math. cul-de-sac, best location ...... $850K Master’s Degree preferred. Fax resume Call 516-902-0936 to: 718-263-3759 or e-mail to [email protected] Woodmere — Mint Waterview 6 BR, 3 full bath with new windows, cac, den, deck in sd 14. $849,000, 516-295-3000. pugatch.com

REAL ESTATE Cedarhurst — Spacious 4+ BR, 2.5 FOR SALE bath, center hall colonial with granite EIK, den and finished basement. $695,000. 516-295-3000. pugatch.com

Far Rockaway/Lawrence: 2 BR/ 2 BA, Newly Renovated, Dead-end street. Classified Ads are Price...... $539K Continued on the Next Page. Call Owner: 516-750-9257 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 71 CLASSIFIED ADS Continued from Page 71 FOR RENT FOR RENT FOR RENT REAL ESTATE Far Rockaway —apts for rent. 4 BR, Bayswater — 3 BR apt, 1.5 bths, with Cedarhurst — All new, bright 3 BR, 1.5 FOR SALE new construction. Near all. New appli- fin. basement, large backyard, great bths, ground floor apt in 2-family house, ances. First floor includes backyard location. $1700. Call 917-709-2564 $1,900. Second floor $1,750. 516-445-4048, LR, FDR, EIK/ w new appliances, new West Hempstead — 7 BR house, 4 bths, carpet, w/d included, yard and parking. Valley Stream: Nu 2 Mkt. Brick ranch, ask for Barry. FDR, LR, den, lots of extras. Call Walk all ...... $2,250 great condition, quiet street. Nu EIK, Rockville Centre — 3,500 sq ft, fully 917-496-6553 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 LR, Den, Lg Prop ...... $439K wired for Web, partitioned, will divide. Beaver Lake — For Rent 7 BR, screen For Rent ...... $2,500 Call 516-322-3555 Vacation Village — 2 fl, 4 BR, LR, 3 patio, 3 bths, playroom, quiet area, new bth, playrm/den, fireplace, WD, 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 beach, lake, pool, tennis. July/August. Nicest house rental in Far Rockaway. 718-619-6767 beautiful view July/Aug. Reasonable Beautiful, Ready to move in, 5 BR rent. 516-967-8370 Inwood — Lovely 4 BR expanded cape house on excellent block in Far with 2 baths, EIK with 2 sinks, large Lawrence — 18 Berkley Place Modern office suite for rent by owner dining room, set on cul-de-sac, large Rockaway. Brand new kitchen and very Center hall col., 4 BR, 3 bths, stunning in Inwood 2000 Sq Ft. Just renovated, 2 property all fenced, country club area. spacious backyard. cul-de-sac, best location . . $4K monthly $449,000, 516-833-6004. pugatch.com Call owner 917-617-0768 Call Irene 516-652-7099 executive offices, reception area, large open area, kitchen etc. Reasonable rent Office for p/t sublet. Perfect for psy- Cedarhurst office space available for includes utilities. 516-902-8686 chotherapists etc. Centrally located in Far Rockaway, Reads Lane — Brick rent/lease for any amount of time! Hewlett. Well maintained building, adja- colonial. 4 BR, LR, DR, kitchen, Reception area adjoins 3 rooms; fully cent parking, utilities A/C included. Call Inwood — 8 offices available for rent. dinette, den, 2-car garage, near all furnished, soundproofed, A/C, prime 917-324-3552 Total 3000 square feet. Newly renovated. shuls and schools. Call 917-299-0147 location, wireless internet, cleaned weekly 516-617-3416 Can also be used as a warehouse. Cedarhurst — NU House, CH Col., LR, [email protected] For more information, Danrich Realty Woodmere — House for sale by owner. FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 4BR., 3BTHS. 718-441-28008 Lawrence Rental — Long term, beauti- ABC streets, north of Peninsula. 4 BR, Bsmt ...... $3,200 3.5 bths, mint condition, 65x100, water- ful two bedroom apartment available 5 TOWN HOMES Woodmere/Cedarhurst — 2 BR avail- front, 2-car garage. Asking $699K August. Near LIRR/ shuls/ shopping. 516-569-5710 able. Secure buildings, new EIK, close 516-569-8887 Well maintained building. Parking, heat, to all and train station. 1 month’s free water included. 516-371-0563 — Owner rent! $1,600 Call Sherri 516-297-7995 Cedarhurst: Office rental: Executive 2 Far Rockaway listings: Bths, Fully Web wired, 1,250 sq. ft., Far Rockaway — Lg. Hse Rental: 4br, COMMERCIAL REAL Far Rockaway — Open House every CAC. 5TGR 516-322-3555 2bth, bsmt., hi-ceilings, NU bths, W\D. ESTATE FOR SALE Sunday 12-2 or BA Brand New Building Call 516-322-3555 by the Beach Luxury Apt. Rentals 1 & 2 Cedarhurst — House Rental LR/FDR, beds, Granite kitchens, balconies with den, 3br, 2.5bth, Fin. Bsmt . . . . . $2,300 Far Rockaway — 2 Huge Office Spaces. water views, shabbos elevator, W/D Far Rockaway commercial space. Call 516-322-3555 6,000 and 2,500 Sq Ft. 2nd Floor. Near hookup, parking. Brand new construction. Ideally suited Subway & LIRR. Build to Suit. Can be Weissman Realty Group, LLC 516-791-6100 for medical professional offices or com- divided. Owner 917-359-9776 Cedarhurst — Nu House CH Col. LR, munity facility. High ceilings. Very Cedarhurst: Garden apt. Nu 2 Mkt. bright and airy. Many amenities, ocean FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 4BR, 3BTHS. North Wdm. — house rental. Hi-ranch 2BR. 2Bth, Mint, 1st Flr, heat & prk views, reasonable rent. Call Bsmt. For Rent ...... $2,500 in MIC. 4 br, CAC, den, on quiet street. incld ...... $2,500 Weissman Realty Group, LLC 516-791-6100 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 5Town Homes 516-569-5710

72 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

FOR RENT Vatican To Stop

Far Rockaway — Large One Bedroom Apartment for rent. Beautiful elevator Missionizing Jews bldg. Nice tenancy. Great location at Neilson and Cornaga, near Shor Yoshuv, transportation, and shopping. B Y ABE SELIG Holocaust, Metzger hailed Benedict’s Jews, but also a sin against G-d,” the Asking $1,100. Call 718-692-2525 ext. 180 predecessor, “Pope John Paul II, who chief rabbi continued. After meeting the grand mufti of visited us nine years ago, placed a Metzger then asked the pope to MISCELLANEOUS Jerusalem, Muhammad Ahmad note between the stones of the act on the issue of lost Jewish Hussein, and praying at the Western Western Wall, and in it a request for refugees; children saved by Wall, Pope Benedict XVI held an historic forgiveness from the Jewish people for Christians during the Holocaust who meeting with the chief rabbis at Heichal the suffering caused to them through- were never told by their adoptive Free DIRECTV 4 Room System! 265 Shlomo, next to the capital’s Great out history, and of the Christian com- parents that they were Jews. Channels! Starts $29.99/month. Free Synagogue, and agreed that the Catholic mitment toward true fraternity “Your Holiness, as you know, dur- HBO + Showtime + Starz! Free Church will cease all missionary activity between our peoples.” ing the Holocaust many parents DVR/HD! 130 HD Channels! No Start Up Costs! Local Installers! among Jews. Metzger also thanked Benedict for deposited their children in trust with DirectStarTV 1-800-306-1953 In his welcoming address, Chief preventing the full reinstatement of the various churches throughout Ashkenazi Rabbi Yona Metzger Holocaust-denying Bishop Richard Europe,” he said. “To our sorrow, six DIRECTV Free 4 Room System! 265+ thanked the pope for his announce- Williamson. (The Vatican lifted million Jews did not return.” Channels! Starts $29.99/month. Free ment, calling it an “historic agree- Williamson’s excommunication in Metzger also mentioned the pope’s HBO + Showtime + Starz! Free ment” and, “for us, an immensely January, but after his views attracted visit to the Western Wall, which is a DVR/HD! 130 HD Channels! No Start important message.” widespread media coverage, the “house of prayer for all nations,” but Up Costs! DirectStarTV Local Installers! 1-800-973-9027 Metzger also welcomed the pope on Vatican declared that “in order to be lamented that “unfortunately there are to “our holy land—the land to which admitted to episcopal functions within those who have transformed their Ocean Corp. Houston, Texas. Train for we prayed to return during 2,000 years the Church, [he] will have to take his houses of prayer into warehouses of New Career. Underwater Welder, of exile… And, with G-d’s help, our distance, in an absolutely unequivocal weapons and terror. Commercial Diver, NDT/Weld Inspector. Job placement and financial aid for meeting today is taking place in the and public fashion, from his position “One thing alone still threatens us all,” those who qualify, 1-800-321-0298 Land of Israel, in our city of on the Shoah.”) he said, “the use of religion as a means Jerusalem—the eternal capital of the “Had you not done so,” Metzger for the killing of innocent people.” Deadline for Advertising in the Jewish people.” explained, “a message may have been Metzger concluded by saying “It is In a hint of criticism over understood by another Holocaust my heartfelt blessing that together we Classifieds for the Next Issue Benedict’s speech at Yad Vashem denier—the president of Iran, granting will merit to add love, mutual respect, which was received with disappoint- legitimacy to his sinful declarations of and peace in our world. For each peo- is Monday, June 8 ment for its failure to apologize on his will and intention to destroy our ple will walk in the name of their G-d; at 5:00 P.M. Call behalf of the Catholic Church while country. I commend with appreciation And we will walk in the name of the paying tribute to the memory of the your clear proclamation that anti- 516-569-0502 six million Jews who were killed in the Semitism is not only a sin against the Continued on Page 74

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 73 Missionizing Jews “I am grateful for the invitation to Holy See’s Commission for Religious Then the pope reiterated points the Continued from Page 73 visit Heichal Shlomo and to meet with Relations with the Jews and the Chief Catholic Church has made in recent you during this trip of mine to the Rabbinate of Israel’s Delegation for years. Lord our G-d…” Holy Land as bishop of Rome,” he Relations with the Catholic Church. I “Today, I have the opportunity to Chief Sephardi Rabbi Shlomo Amar said. “I thank Sephardi Rabbi Shlomo wish to thank the members of both del- repeat that the Catholic Church is also took the podium, telling Benedict, Amar and Ashkenazi Rabbi Yona egations for their dedication and hard irrevocably committed to the path “You represent a great and enormous Metzger for their warm words of wel- work in implementing this initiative, so chosen at the Second Vatican nation, that knows and reads from the come and the desire they have earnestly desired by my esteemed prede- Council [1962-1965] for a genuine Bible and the Prophets.” expressed to continue strengthening cessor Pope John Paul II, as he said dur- and lasting reconciliation between Amar also focused on the fulfill- the bonds of friendship which the ing the Great Jubilee Year of 2000.” Christians and Jews. As the ment of G-d’s promise to restore the Catholic Church and the Chief The pope also spoke of the need Declaration Nostra Aetate makes Jewish People to their land, even in the Rabbinate have labored so diligently to for a “shared concern in the face of clear, the Church continues to value face of despair. forge over the past decades. Your visits moral relativism and the offences it the spiritual patrimony common to “Who would have imagined, in the to the Vatican in 2003 and 2005 are a spawns against the dignity of the Christians and Jews and desires an wake of the Holocaust, that our nation sign of the goodwill which character- human person.” ever deeper mutual understanding would not only return to its land, but izes our developing relations. “In approaching the most urgent and respect through biblical and the- also begin to fulfill the mitzvos given to “Distinguished rabbis, Benedict con- ethical questions of our day, our two ological studies as well as fraternal them from G-d,” Amar said. tinued, “I reciprocate by expressing my communities are challenged to engage dialogues.” “We, those who merit living here own respect and esteem for you and your people of goodwill at the level of rea- The pontiff then concluded with a today,” he continued, “see this happen- communities. I assure you of my desire son, while simultaneously pointing to prayer, quoting the Book of Psalms. ing to us. Our nation is standing on its to deepen mutual understanding and the religious foundations which best “I pray that G-d, who searches our feet, like the dry bones, taking on ‘skin cooperation between the Holy See, the sustain lasting moral values,” he said. hearts and knows our thoughts, will and sinews,’ with the banner of Torah Chief Rabbinate of Israel, and Jewish “May the dialogue that has begun con- continue to enlighten us with his and Judaism waving above it.” people throughout the world.” tinue to generate ideas on how wisdom, so that we may follow his Speaking after Amar, the pope vowed “A great source of satisfaction for me Christians and Jews can work together commandments to love him with all to continue the dialogue between since the beginning of my pontificate to heighten society’s appreciation of our heart, soul and strength and to Christianity and Judaism in an effort to has been the fruit yielded by the ongoing the distinctive contribution of our reli- love our neighbor as ourselves. advance the process of reconciliation. dialogue between the Delegation of the gious and ethical traditions.” Thank you.” (JPost.com) O

And make atonement for him, for that he sinned by his soul (Bamidbar 6:11) Whoever fasts is termed a sinner… For it has been taught: … What is the Torah referring to when it says, “And make atonement for him, for that he sinned by his soul.” Against which soul did he sin? That he denied himself wine. Now, if this man who denied himself wine only is termed “sin- ner,” how much more so he who denies himself the enjoyment of ever so many things! Rabbi Elazar says: He is termed holy. For it is writ- ten (ibid., v. 5),“He shall be holy, he shall let the locks of the hair of his head grow long.” Now, if this man who denied himself wine only is termed “holy,” how much more so he who denies himself the enjoyment of ever so many things!

(Talmud,Taanis 11a)

74 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Holocaust-denial in various countries as examples of anti-Semitism. There was no pretending that denying the Holocaust is Jack Kemp’s Fight Against Anti-Semitism just another interpretation of history. Such achievements are more than merely symbolic, because it is the United States which sets the standard B Y DR. RAFAEL MEDOFF Republican administration on this issue? into law by the president in October for the international community on such Jack Kemp was one of the first to do 2004. Congressman Lantos publicly issues. Turning the tide against the Jack Kemp, who passed away on May so. (Others included former U.S. credited the protest letter for making haters requires firm American leadership 1, will be widely remembered as a Ambassador Jeane Kirkpatrick and for- the difference. on the battlefield of ideas. The creation prominent voice of conservatism who mer Senator Rudy Boschwitz.) His par- It was not long before the initiative of the U.S. office for monitoring anti- shaped the tax-cut policies of the ticipation helped lift the issue of combat- showed results. The bill’s first require- Semitism was an important first step in Reagan administration. But he also ing anti-Semitism above the partisan fray. ment was a report by the State that process, and Jack Kemp played an deserves to be remembered for his will- From the other side of the aisle, signa- Department on anti-Semitism around important role in its creation. ingness to cross party lines in order to tories included the Clinton administra- the world. Issued in early 2005, the Whether one agrees or disagrees challenge a Republican administration tion’s CIA Director, R. James Woolsey; report presented the first official U.S. with the positions he took on specific on the issue of anti-Semitism. National Security Adviser Anthony Lake; government definition of anti-Semitism, issues, Mr. Kemp will be remembered Throughout his life, Kemp defied the and the special U.S. envoy for Holocaust and, significantly, it stated that “the as a man of integrity, who would not old stereotype of conservatives who matters, Stuart Eizenstat. Ultimately, demonization of Israel or vilification of allow partisan political considera- were indifferent to the concerns of more than a hundred prominent political Israeli leaders, sometimes through com- tions to interfere with his princi- racial or religious minorities. figures, diplomats, theologians, writers, parisons with Nazi leaders, and through ples—including the principle of com- As an American Football League star artists, and entertainers from across the the use of Nazi symbols to caricature bating anti-Semitism. O in 1965, he pressured the league to political and religious spectrum joined. them, indicates an anti-Semitic bias move its all-star game out of New A coalition this broad could not be rather than a valid criticism of policy Orleans because African-American play- ignored. The Bush administration concerning a controversial issue.” Dr. Medoff is director of the David S. Wyman ers were excluded from the city’s night- soon dropped its opposition. The bill Equally important was that the report Institute for Holocaust Studies. To learn more, clubs. As Secretary of Housing and was adopted by Congress and signed specifically included instances of visit www.WymanInstitute.org. Urban Development from 1988 to 1992, he promoted projects to help dis- advantaged inner-city residents. And in 2004, he played a leading role in a cru- cial fight against the rising tide of glob- al anti-Semitism. That year, U.S. Congressman Tom Lantos, Democrat of California, intro- duced legislation requiring the U.S. government to create an office to mon- itor anti-Semitism around the world and devise ways to combat it. In view of the proliferation of anti-Semitic vio- lence in many European countries and government-sponsored anti-Semitic propaganda in the Muslim world, U.S. action was overdue. The Lantos bill ran into opposition from the Bush administration. The State Department claimed it was unfair to show “favoritism” to Jews by “extending exclusive status to one religious or eth- nic group.” This, despite the fact that the State Department already had offices that extend “exclusive status” to various other groups or issues of concern, among them human rights in Tibet, human trafficking, and women’s rights. The State Department seemed unwilling to acknowledge that anti-Semites were singling out Jews, which is why the fight against anti-Semitism deserved specific and focused attention. The State Department’s position called to mind its moral failures during the Hitler era, when it blocked opportu- nities to rescue Jews and did its best to downplay the Jewish identity of Hitler’s victims. Even though the Nazi regime had clearly singled out Jews for annihila- tion, statements by U.S. officials about Nazi atrocities rarely mentioned the Jews by name, thus diverting public attention from the ongoing annihilation of millions of Jews. To break the logjam of opposition to the Lantos bill, the David S. Wyman Institute for Holocaust Studies began organizing a bipartisan letter by promi- nent Americans to demonstrate the broad range of public support for the legislation. Former U.S. Congressman Stephen Solarz became the lead Democrat on the letter. But which Republicans would have the political courage to publicly challenge a 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 75 No Shortcuts before 12. acquaintance. What happened then wrong. “What’s wrong, Leyvy?” Continued from Page 67 The group was diverse and comfort- was a bizarre series of events. What a “Whatever,” he said. With all of our able. One member rode the train for a little vodka can do for a man is amaz- bonding, a certain private nature was able time that was answerable to no while before he became a part of the ing. Leyvy started talking, and within never overcome. “Hey, if there is some- one. A true gift that was best shared “club.” Leyvy was a Chassidic man ten minutes he acted as if he was our thing I can do…?” I knew that Felix anonymously. who rode the train for an entire year best friend. His conversation showed would get it out of him. There was a Felix is Russian and has been living before he even made as much as eye us that he was not looking out the win- certain European likeness that he in America since the early ’70s. He contact with any of us. He sat at his dow the whole time; he was living our responded to. Sure enough, we considers himself American, even window, looking at the passing scenery, lives. smelled him coming. Felix thundered though his accent gives away his true oblivious to all that went on around He knew every aspect of what we onto the train overly doused in his origin. No matter how hard he tries, he him. He stared past the commotion had done for the last year. I can’t imag- cologne, finishing a last few puffs of couldn’t hide the slight Russian droll. when Robby had his first grandchild. ine how he must have yearned to be a his imported Dunhill cigarette. Once you get past the accent, his intel- He didn’t as much as shift when Felix part, and now that the ice was broken, “Shtoopid American law, no smoking.” ligence overpowers your assumptions. showed us the YouTube video of his he wasn’t going back. We laughingly His laugh turning into a hurl of cough- He is a highly respected physicist who address on Mt. Scopus. He must have referred to him as a reformed snob. He ing. I never ceased to marvel at his heads a department at Columbia. heard when Shmully told us that his quickly became one of the chevrah, ability to embrace life in such a laissez- Every now and then he will be featured nephew was killed defending Kever joining in all of our meshugasim. He faire way. on Nightline or 20/20. He defected in Yosef. Event after event went by, and was a banker and was the first in line He took one look at Leyvy and the early ’70s when it was in style. He he showed no interest. to take over a family-owned European asked, “Hoo died? What’s the matter?” achieved acclaim for leaving a position We all recall the day he joined our bank based in Geneva. For him we Leyvy didn’t respond, but I saw his fur- in the government for the freedom of Minchah. Evidently, he needed to say established a new term, “CFB— rowed brow was softening, meaning he the U.S. He became religious through Kaddish. He joined us one day as if he Chassidic from birth.” We joked that was getting ready to answer. “What? a speaking engagement that he had at had never been there before. He said he was born with a shtreimel on. The You drink my vodka and you still think the Lincoln Square Synagogue. Kaddish and then, as if nothing hap- best was when Felix got him a birthday your tzooris is better than mine? You He started out talking to the rabbi pened, went right back to the window. present. I will never forget it. I laughed are with friends. Tell us, together we and one thing led to another. The rest Felix asked—that Russian in him with so hard, I almost fainted. can do for you maybe.” There was a of us didn’t have such an exciting past, the unabashed ability to confront— He came with a beautiful box, strong affirmation in the looks of all but it was taken for granted that we all “So, who died?” We all looked at each wrapped from Bergdorf. Touched and those concerned. had history that could be entertaining. other. Was this another one of his visibly uncomfortable, Leyvy thanked Leyvy began to tell us how he was This group left a little later than the political jokes that he loved to tell? him. “Owpen it op!” Felix barked. worried about his son. “He never did usual rush hour and we were clearly at “You feinshmecker, window watcher, When he unwrapped it, he saw a top- well in yeshiva, and the move out of a different level financially. The train you say Kaddish, for who?” of-the-line shaver, something that Williamsburg was always a question. rolled into Penn at 10:00 and we all He turned around and told us it was Leyvy certainly had no use for. He But he rejected the levush when he rolled into work at 10:30. Show me a his mother. That day was her yahrtzeit. looked up and sheepishly said, “Thank was 15. Now he is 17. He doesn’t want person that goes into work at 10:30 As if automatically, Felix pulled out a you so much. This is so nice.” All of a to learn, and he now wants to talk to and I’ll assume that he’s a business silver flask: “For this we make l’chay- sudden Felix said, “Not fowr yoo, fowr girls. I mamash don’t know what to do. owner or someone who has earned the im, the neshamah should have an your viyfe!!! For her head, no?” We We found DVDs in his bag, some of status. I was a Persian rug importer aliyah.” With his genuine goodness, he hooped and hollered. them rated ‘R.’ He is smoking ciga- who did most of my business midday. poured some of his precious stash Today Leyvy was very quiet and was rettes, this we knew; now he is smok- No customer looking at merchandise (which none of us knew about) and clearly not himself. I was the first to priced like mine ever got out of bed shared it amongst his friends and new meet him, and I saw something was Continued on Page 78

76 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 77 No Shortcuts he will get over. You know that because Continued from Page 76 he is your son, and there is no way that he would not follow your lead. He ing pot. Why is he doing this? We gave doesn’t have to be just like you, but he him everything. Why doesn’t he want has to serve Hashem in his own way.” to learn all day? And why would he run Pinny was the most serious of the after girls he knows that we don’t chevrah. He always made sure that we approve!! His mother is going out of said the Tehillim for the cholim. He said her mind, she wants to kill him. I want in a soft but penetrating voice, “Never, to kill him. I need him to comply.” never, give your son the feeling that his We all sat silent. Although today I neshamah is tainted and that he has no am a respected member of the com- chance to get close to G-d. Even the fur- munity, and I fill in the daf shiur when thest from G-d are still his children and the rav is gone, that was not what I was can gain the highest status when they doing when I was 17. I almost laugh to decide to. G-d is patient, he waits. Trust myself thinking about the fact that in me, He waits.” We all heard in his voice the ’70s you could score pot from your that he was speaking from experience. teachers. It was LSD and eventually During the silence that followed, we all cocaine in the ’80s. It was apparent clearly thought about where we came that the others in the chevrah were from, and where we were today. thinking the same or similar thoughts. As we parted ways, I thought to We didn’t know what to say. Do we myself: What are we creating, when we minimize his concerns? No, because raise a generation of children who are we would be devastated if our kids given everything from the beginning were doing the same. I couldn’t help and taking everything for granted? It but think about my son in Israel. I isn’t easy for children to sit all day and would be terrified if he was smoking learn, sometimes until after 6:00 p.m. pot and running around with girls. When they do, why don’t we make Before we could all complete our them feel like they deserve credit? thought, Felix’s bellowing voice set Why do we get crazy when our boys things straight in his Russian accent, show interest in girls? Rather than which he somehow made stronger judge our children, we need to validate when he was making a point. their concerns. We need to do away “Listen,” he said, sounding just like with their shame and guilt and help Boris from Bullwinkle, “Your son, hee is them deal with life issues. boy, and boy must live and learn. When We need to revel in our children’s I was 17, I was running away from hus- resilience to our standards. We need to band of crazy lady in town who like me encourage them to learn more through too much. I smoke whatever I see, eat contests, and laud them with praise whatever I see, all the time drink vodka, when they follow our program. make party 24/7. One day my father calls Why were we given the opportunity me to backyard. He say, ‘You want party? to return from our places of irresponsi- How long? You must grow up be scientist bility and our children are not? I think, like your father. Tell me how long I wait, as I leave the train, that if I hadn’t been but when it’s over it’s over.’ He hand me given a chance by some well-meaning ax, he say, ‘chop trees.’ I look—many, rabbi, would I have ever found inspira- many trees in forest. I say, ‘For what tion? How sad is it that the value of poppa?’ He says, ‘For money, stooped serving and loving G-d is taken for boy. I sell, give you money. You have granted? We no longer value the sacri- energy, go make money, go study, and go fice; we take it all for granted. be something. You are my son, you must Almost as if by the hand of G-d, I be successful.’” We all sat attentively as pass Josh for the second time today. he finished. “I chop and chop and chop, This sometimes happens because make many money, buy ticket for St. his store is in my area of the city. I Petersburg University. The rest boring, think what would have been if I no more smoke pot, no more, well would have disqualified him as a maybe not so much more drink, and Jew. I know that it was my consider- crazy lady, she leave me alone, I find ation and friendship that prepared other crazy lady. We marry, have kids. I his road back. find G-d when I was 35.” We must understand that our chil- I think of the fact that I committed to dren need to grow the same way we G-d when I was 24. There was so much did. We must never make them feel in my life before I changed. I was truly rejected or not acceptable. G-d loves afraid that my friends would detect me and waits for all His children, near and blushing as I thought about what I was far. The message to our kids should be doing the summer of my 18th year. There that serving and loving G-d is a chal- was a silence. I was fearful that there lenge and a life long journey that they were expectations of me to tell my story, must take, each on their own path, but which would never happen. Instead, I with the same destination. Because in said, “Leyvy, we all grow in religion at our the end, we all belong at home. O own pace. This life is filled with tempta- tion and desire and we all went through our journeys. Why were things so differ- Dr. Simcha Y. Cohen originates from Rochester, NY. He received his semichah from Yeshiva ent? I think that back then there was no Mikdash Melech, a master’s degree in special consideration for us to think about not education from Adelphi University, a second master’s degree in school psychology, and a doc- succeeding. We were stupid kids expect- torate of child community psychology at Pace ed to grow up. We knew that we were University. He is the director of Total Learning Center, loved by our parents and whatever we LLC, in Brooklyn. The Total Learning Center were doing we would have to stop and get was founded on Dr. Cohen’s principle of provid- a life. Why? Because we were told so, ing all aspects of mental health as it applies to children and families. He has served as a con- and because we were driven by a motiva- sultant for schools, institutions, and educational tion to succeed. centers. In addition, Dr. Cohen is a frequent guest speaker at various events and functions “Tell your son that you love him, and locally and abroad. You may listen to many of Dr. that he is going through a stage which Cohen’s shiurim at LearnTorah.com. 78 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES June 5, 2009 79 80 June 5, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES