TELLING the OPEN SECRET: TOWARD a NEW DISCOURSE with the U.S. MILITARY's DON't ASK DON't TELL POLICY a Dissertation By

TELLING THE OPEN SECRET: TOWARD A NEW DISCOURSE WITH THE U.S. MILITARY’S DON’T ASK DON’T TELL POLICY A Dissertation by ANDREW DOUGLAS REICHERT Submitted to the Office of Graduate Studies of Texas A&M University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY August 2010 Major Subject: Counseling Psychology Telling the Open Secret: Toward a New Discourse with the U.S. Military’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy Copyright 2010 Andrew Douglas Reichert TELLING THE OPEN SECRET: TOWARD A NEW DISCOURSE WITH THE U.S. MILITARY’S DON’T ASK DON’T TELL POLICY A Dissertation by ANDREW DOUGLAS REICHERT Submitted to the Office of Graduate Studies of Texas A&M University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY Approved by: Co-Chairs of Committee, Daniel F. Brossart M. Carolyn Clark Committee Members, Michael Duffy Patrick Slattery Head of Department, Victor Willson August 2010 Major Subject: Counseling Psychology iii ABSTRACT Telling the Open Secret: Toward a New Discourse with the U.S. Military’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Policy. (August 2010) Andrew Douglas Reichert, B.B.A., Texas A&M University; M.Div., Duke University; M.S., Texas A&M University Co-Chairs of Advisory Committee, Dr. Daniel F. Brossart Dr. M. Carolyn Clark This qualitative dissertation in Counseling Psychology considers the open secret, an under-researched phrase describing an interesting phenomenon that is experienced by some, but not all, LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people when their sexual orientation is known or suspected by family members, friends, and/or coworkers, but not discussed. A review of the literature notes how the essence of the open secret appears to be about knowledge that is not acknowledged, while it may also create a space of grace, allowing people to coexist, where they might not otherwise be able to do so easily. Participants (N = 11) were either current or past members of the U.S. military who served before or during the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy. Interviews were analyzed using James Paul Gee’s linguistic approach to narrative, from which three major findings emerged: (a) sexual and homophobic harassment, whereby historically homophobic attitudes within the military drive the need for secrecy surrounding LGBT sexuality; (b) acceptance and support, whereby the open secret seems to create a space of grace; and iv (c) empowerment and honesty, whereby LGBT people seem to have a new sense of honesty that empowers them toward a new sense of agency. Discussion includes examination of how the three findings may relate to the open versus secret parts of the open secret, as well as how the open secret and the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy may represent a gestalt attempt at balance that may now be moving toward a gestalt dynamic of completion, suggesting the possibility of a new Discourse of openness and honesty for LGBT people that appears to be on a proleptic edge of possibility. v In Memory Nanette Reichert Tessie and Aggie Mom And in Honor William F. Reichert Class of 1952 A&M College of Texas vi ACKNOWLEDGMENTS First and foremost, I wish to thank my research participants, without whom this dissertation would not be possible – not only the final sample included here, but also those who took the online screening survey, many of whom I exchanged emails with and came to know. Although I finally focused this research on past or present members of the military, thus necessitating my final sample, I appreciate all those who contributed in any way. They not only gave of their time, some for hours, exchanging emails with me, but many also shared intimate details of their lives which have forever touched my heart. The handful of stories that I am able to actually include here hardly does justice to their astonishing lives, and yet, in telling their stories, they have helped me immeasurably, while more importantly, shedding light on an under-researched topic. I also wish to thank my dissertation committee, especially my co-chairs who guided me every step of the way: Dr. Daniel Brossart gave lots of encouragement and wrote many recommendation letters for me, and Dr. Carolyn Clark put the wind in my sails when I was floundering through the fourth chapter, and I will never forget when she paused one day in class to magically mention the importance of doing good scholarship, of which I hope this dissertation might qualify. As for Dr. Michael Duffy, he is simply a saint, whose clinical wisdom and experience have guided me through the past four years, and it was Dr. Patrick Slattery who encouraged me to apply to Texas A&M University in the first place. Dr. Slattery believed I could earn a PhD when I still had doubts and was worried about the GRE, and he wrote one of my very first recommendation letters. vii Additionally, I wish to thank The Rev. Dr. Brett Webb-Mitchell, a dear friend and former professor of mine from Duke University, whom I consider an honorary member of my committee. Dr. Webb-Mitchell was the first person to seriously encourage me to write, for which I will always be grateful, and he was kind enough to review the final draft, looking for theological insights. My sister, Marianne Reichert, also proofread draft after draft, finding many of my typos, misspellings, and grammatical errors, as well as offering wonderful suggestions. In the end, all the errors are mine, but there would certainly be many more without her unwavering help and support. She was also the first person I ever came out to, and she did just what a big sister should do – gave me a hug and reminded me that she loves me. Thank you. viii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ABSTRACT ………………………………………………………………………… iii DEDICATION ……………………………………………………………………… v ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ………………………………………………………… vi TABLE OF CONTENTS …………………………………………………………… viii LIST OF TABLES ………………………………………………………………… xi CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION ……………………………………………………… 1 Naming …………………………………………………………………… 2 Questions ………………………………………………………………… 3 Purpose …………………………………………………………………… 4 One Last Thing …………………………………………………………… 5 II LITERATURE REVIEW ………………………………………………… 6 Don't Ask Don't Tell ……………………………………………………… 11 Being versus Behaving …………………………………………… 12 Negative Definitions of Masculinity ……………………………… 14 Dropping the Soap ………………………………………………… 15 Who Cares ………………………………………………………… 16 LGBT Identity Development …………………………………………… 17 Stage Models ……………………………………………………… 18 Sexual Fluidity ……………………………………………………… 21 Neglecting the Open Secret ………………………………………… 22 The Down Low …………………………………………………………… 23 Possible Psychological Variables ………………………………………… 25 Role of Silence ……………………………………………………… 25 Shame and Self-esteem …………………………………………… 26 Closed Secrets ……………………………………………………… 27 Conclusion ……………………………………………………………… 28 ix CHAPTER Page III METHODOLOGY ……………………………………………………… 29 The Initial Screening Survey …………………………………………… 29 The Final Sample ………………………………………………………… 30 Selecting the Final Sample ………………………………………… 31 Demographics ……………………………………………………… 32 In-Depth Interviews ……………………………………………………… 34 Data Analysis …………………………………………………………… 36 Lines, Stanzas, and Strophes ……………………………………… 37 Making Meaning …………………………………………………… 39 Levels of a Text …………………………………………………… 40 Trustworthiness …………………………………………………… 41 Discourses ………………………………………………………………… 43 IV ANALYSIS AND RESULTS …………………………………………… 45 Reviewing the Data ……………………………………………………… 46 Three Major Findings ……………………………………………… 47 Interviews …………………………………………………………… 48 Sexual and Homophobic Harassment …………………………………… 48 Marguerite: Security Clearance Investigations …………………… 50 Brad: Escape to Iraq ………………………………………………… 55 Javier: Discharged under Don't Ask Don't Tell …………………… 63 Aaron and the "Smart Aleck" Enlisted Airman …………………… 67 Movement Toward Acceptance and Support …………………………… 75 Trent and a Bygone Era …………………………………………… 77 Sterling and the Corrective Emotional Experiences ……………… 83 Leslie and the Doctor's Smile ……………………………………… 97 David's Colliding Worlds ………………………………………… 101 Toward Empowerment and a New Sense of Honesty ….…………………109 Elizabeth and the Christmas Dinner ……………………………… 117 Hailey and the Final Straw ………………………………………… 121 Duane and the Chief ……………………………………………… 132 Conclusion ……………………………………………………………… 140 x CHAPTER Page V CONCLUSIONS ………………………………………………………… 143 Discussion …………………………………………………………………144 Toward a New Discourse ……………………………………………149 A Proleptic Moment …………………………………………………152 Future Research ………………………………………………………… 154 Final Thoughts ……………………………………………………………155 EPILOGUE: THE TWELFTH MAN ...…..………………………………………… 158 REFERENCES ………………………………………………………………………166 APPENDIX A ……………………………………………………………………… 174 APPENDIX B ……………………………………………………………………… 179 APPENDIX C ……………………………………………………………………… 180 VITA …………………………………………………………………………………182 xi LIST OF TABLES TABLE Page 1 Demographic Data for the Final Sample ………………………………… 34 2 Participant Responses to Stories ………………………………………… 146 1 CHAPTER I INTRODUCTION Within the realm of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) identity development (i.e., the process by which LGBT people come to understand their sexual orientation), there is a colloquial phrase that is sometimes heard. The open secret refers to a peculiar time in the lives of some LGBT people whose sexual orientation is known – correctly deduced or ascertained by family members, friends, and/or coworkers – but not discussed. Even though the LGBT person may be aware that his or her sexuality is known or assumed by others, he or she may continue to behave as if unaware of this knowledge. Similarly, family members, friends, and/or coworkers of the

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