How Reddit and Instagram (Re)Define Masculinity Through a Feminist Lens

Digital Masculinities: How Reddit and Instagram (re)define masculinity through a feminist lens

Master’s Thesis New Media & Digital Culture Bianca Crichigno Biggs 12158062

June 2019

Supervisor: Dr. Sabine Niederer Second reader: Daniël de Zeeuw

Abstract

Since gender studies were established as a research field, the social construction of the male figure has been mainly analysed under the scope of hegemonic masculinity. Nevertheless, masculinity has been continuously shaped by social movements such as the Gay Liberation and feminist waves which, although suggested alternative types of masculinities within Western culture, also led to the creation of male stereotypes that confined the understanding of how men should be. More recently and with the rise of new technologies, the emergence of the concept of the manosphere has reinforced hegemonic masculinity and stained further studies on the construction of masculinity identity online across digital platforms, particularly on Reddit. This thesis uses a qualitative content analysis approach to study the portrayal of a new type of masculinity on Reddit and Instagram. This alternative masculinity adopts feminist values in order to become a hybrid type that struggles against the social and historical stereotypes that have conditioned the understanding and role of masculinity within the field of gender studies. Through the analysis of the top ten most engaged posts within the community r/MensLib and those related to #feministmen it is found that both Reddit and Instagram promote an alternative masculinity based on feminist principles. However, the former encourages users to adopt a pro-feminist stand in order to favour men whilst the latter encourages men to embrace a feminist posture by favouring women.

Keywords: feminist masculinity, hybrid masculinity, digital platforms, hegemonic masculinity, manosphere, Reddit, Instagram.

Table of contents

Introduction……………………………………………………………………………………5

Chapter 1: The dominant male figure: a brief history 1.1 Feminism and Gay Liberation: the free and enslaving forces of masculinity………………………………………………………………………………………7 1.2 The measurement of masculinity...... 10 1.3 Hybridization of masculinity……………………………………………………………...13

Chapter 2: Masculinity on New Media 2.1 The portrayal of masculinity in the digital space...……………………………….…...15 2.2 Feminist masculinity: not an oxymoron………………………………………………...16

Chapter 3: The arise of the manosphere in social media..…………………………..20 3.1 The Red Pill…………………………………………………………………………...... 20 3.2 Pickup Artists (PUAs) and gaming culture…………………………………………….22 3.3 Manosphere on Instagram……………………………………………………….……...25

Chapter 4. Methodological Framework 4.1 Online identity construction……………………………………………………………...30 4.2 Platform vernaculars……………………………………………………………………..31 4.3 Qualitative content analysis……………………………………………………………..32 4.4 Introducing Reddit………………………………………………………………………..33 4.5 Introducing Instagram……………………………………………………………………34 4.6 Case studies: r/MensLib and #feministmen…………………………………………...35 4.7 Content selection…………………………………………………………………………36

Chapter 5. Findings 5.1 r/MensLib: a pro-feministmen and anti-manosphere space…..…………………...... 41 5.1.1 Educating pluriform masculinities.…………………………………………...41 5.1.2 Gender-neutralizing issues …………………………………………………..47 5.1.3 Persistence of male stigmas………………………………………………….49

5.1.4 Distant but close figures………………………………………………………51 5.2 #feministmen: a pro-women feminist space…………………………………………...55 5.2.1 Feminist men have gone ………...... 55 5.2.2 Underrepresentation of feminist men………………………………………..60 5.2.3 Feminism connected to racism…………….………………………………...63

Chapter 6. Discussion and conclusion …………………………………………………69

Reference list………………………………………………………………………………….76 Appendix I……………………………………………………………………………………..88 Appendix II…………………………………………………………………………………...111

During the second half of the 20th century, scholars have mainly studied the male subject through the lens of hegemonic masculinity (Connell; Edwards; Kimmel; Demetriou; Garlick; Kendall). Gender studies scholar R.W. Connell, who coined the term hegemonic masculinity in the mid 1980’s, defines the concept as the “maintenance of practices that institutionalize men’s dominance over women”, where alternative masculinities that might emerge are prevented of “gaining cultural definition and recognition as alternatives” (Gender and Power: Society, The Person and Sexual Politics 186). Therefore, the social construction of what it is to be a man has been characterized by specific dominant aspects that can be summarized in four words: “white, Western, middle-class and heterosexual” (Edwards, 2). Even though these aspects have been powerful enough to set the parameters of how men should be, the concept of masculinity has been socially constructed based on the lives of only “5 percent of the world’s population of men, in one culture-area, at one moment in history” (Connell, The Big Picture: Masculinities in Recent World History 600). Therefore, different types of masculinities that originated from other social, cultural, ethnic and sexual backgrounds have been strongly underrepresented.

The social construction of masculinity has been widely studied in terms of its portrayal on traditional media, reinforcing the persistence of the dominant values associated to men such as aggression, competition, control and strength, which have been constantly tested and imposed in the public sphere (Kimmel 184). Therefore, the basis of hegemonic masculinity denies every value that is considered to attack manhood’s power such as being emotionally vulnerable, passive, physically weak, and nurturing, values that the man consequently suppresses in order to achieve masculinity (Kaufman; Spence & Helmreich). This has created a significant tension between women, men, and among men, which has led to study gender in terms of power structures that configure the interaction between these groups (Kimmel).

Gender studies have been mainly focused on how the traditional western role and social position of women has changed, which has been enhanced by feminism waves (Carrigan, et al.; Pilcher and Whelehan). In contrast, the rise of interest on men’s social roles have been analysed and treated as a “reaction and adjustment to the new status of women” (Hacker 227). Consequently, studies of masculinity arose as a riposte to feminism’s successful denigration of men (Kimmel). In contrast to feminism, in masculinity studies the male figure is not attacked by the female figure, instead, he is repressed by the social construction of the male role (Carrigan). The male role is based on a dominant type of masculinity, one that aims to become an empowered individual through the combination of various factors such as race, class, nationality, sexual

5 orientation and religion, which consequently have direct incidence in the creation of a man’s self-worth (Kaufman). Therefore, the remaining working-class, gay and black men were subordinated by the hegemonic masculinity type of men (Edwards). Nevertheless, feminism has also enabled the creation of different types of masculinities where the pro- feminist man embraces behaviours that have been considered more feminine-oriented, such as expressing himself, being emotionally vulnerable, and being more invested in their role as a father, while ignoring the stereotypes that have been imposed on men (Kimmel; Pleck; Kaufman).

According to Kareithi, the use of new technologies has enabled media companies to spread in a higher scale the stereotypes related to masculinity across the world by making use of their power of “replication, amplification and extension” (Kareithi 28). Whilst the use of technology and the Internet have significantly increased during the last decades scholars have studied the concept of masculinity and its interactions within the digital space, however, mainly focused on the sexual interactions of men and persistence of hegemonic normativity (Light; Campbell; Jenkins). However, there is a dearth of study on the portrayal of a more nuanced masculinity on digital platforms which must be addressed, as the analysis of alternative masculinities can potentially contribute to the redefinition of masculinity online.

In consideration of the aforementioned aspects that have influenced the study of how masculinity performs online, this thesis analyses the portrayal of a hybrid type of masculinity rooted on feminist values that distances itself from hegemonic stereotypes and from the manosphere, particularly on the discussion website Reddit and social media platform Instagram. Through a qualitative content analysis of the top ten most engaged posts in Reddit’s community r/MensLib and Instagram’s hashtag #feministmen this thesis examines how does feminist masculinity resonates on both platforms and whether their discourses differ from each other. This thesis is divided into three main sections. The first one is based on a theoretical framework which addresses the various factors that have contributed to the social construction of masculinity during the last century. This section also includes the study of masculinity in new media and it emphasizes particularly on the origin of the manosphere. The second section refers to the methodology used and results analysed in order to study the portrayal of feminist masculinity through a close reading of the content found in two case studies: r/MensLib and #feministmen. Finally, the third section holds the discussion of a cross platform comparison of the distinct discourses promoted in Reddit and Instagram.

Chapter 1. The dominant male figure: a brief history

1.1 Gay Liberation and Feminism: the free and enslaving forces of masculinity

Throughout the second half of the 20th century until today, gender studies have been highly influenced by two significant social movements in the United States that affected the perception towards masculinity across Western society: Gay Liberation and three feminism waves, –particularly the second one. Both emerged as a reaction towards discrimination issues and reached their peak during the 1960’s and 1970’s (Connell; Kaufman; Murphy) while enabing the questioning of gender roles in the Western society. This chapter analyses how these two social movements contributed to a wider and diverse understanding of the social construction of femininity and masculinity, and how this is reflected in the interaction between men and women and among men. Gay Liberation was driven by homophobia acts where men demanded tolerance and inclusion of homosexuals through the creation of identity politics, while the second feminism wave was driven by women’s demand for equal social and legal rights as a riposte to men’s historical social privilege (“Second-Wave Feminism”; “Gay Liberation Movement”).

The Gay Liberation movement during the 1970’s which took place mainly in New York, but also in Western European cities, Australia and New Zealand, has radically challenged the concept of hegemonic masculinity and expanded the scope of gender studies (Connell; Murphy; Elshtain; Thompson, Pleck and Ferrera). This movement was based on a significant questioning and demand for the transformation of sexual regulation which has been conditioned by the role of heteronormativity within a capitalist context where homosexuality is consider as a threat to its functioning through the restriction of the development of new generations of workers (Hansen and Garey). The Gay Liberation movement was mainly led by homosexuals who suggested that heterosexuality is not the only natural form of sexuality, and that men should not be strictly categorized according to their sexual practices (Kinsman 167). However, this movement led to the creation of new figures and stereotypes of homosexuality, appropriating tags such as “faggot”, “queer”, “sissy”, which would be often used to refer in a condescending manner to those men that did not represent the conventional masculine type (Kinsman 165). This has direct relation to homophobia as these acts are seen as endeavours of heterosexual men to reaffirm their masculinity through the rejection of those who do not fulfil the expected sexual identity (Theodore and Basow). According to Demetreiou, this can be understood as a “strategy for the reproduction of patriarchy through the institution of heterosexuality” (344). As stated by Kinsman, the Gay Liberation faced new challenges that have generated a (re)categorization of what it

7 is to be male but also led to a deviation of the original critique that should not only redefine the institutionalization of heterosexuality as a social norm but the institution of masculinity as a whole (175).

The second feminist wave, which occurred during the same period as the Gay Liberation, feminists’ essentially claimed on the relationship between men and women as one that constantly struggles with male dominance, which led to the allocation of the generalization of men as being active participants of the patriarchy with little or no degree variations (Carrigan, Connell and Lee 552). Thus men and masculinity were problematically merged into a generalized category determining that all were representatives of hegemonic masculinity, while leaving aside those who did not share the same rights and privileges as the dominant group that was white, middle-high class and heterosexual (Gardiner “Masculinity studies and feminist theory”). Philosopher of Science D.Z. Demetriou is most known for his influential critique on Connell’s concept of hegemonic masculinity. Demetriou analyses the relation between feminism and masculinity as external hegemony –performed by the external gender, i.e. female-, as feminists struggle with women’s oppression which is employed by men in several spheres through power structures within the context of labor, state and family (341). Even though feminist women fight against external hegemony, this should also be questioned by men, not only to support the feminist claim as means to achieve gender equality but to recognize how their power figure has also led to a significant division within their own gender (Kaufman 157). This is what Demetriou refers to as internal hegemony, i.e. men who suppress other men in regards to differences of social status, political, cultural and economic practices (341). A clear example of this can be the Gay Liberation Movement, where the socially assigned superiority was performed by heterosexual over gay men (341). Another example of internal hegemony is how white men have historically oppressed black men, an issue that has also been incorporated into the feminist claim where some black feminists support men in order to fight against discrimination led by white supremacists (Gardiner “Masculinity studies and feminist theory 35). According to gender studies scholar Michael Kaufman, men live contradictory experiences of power, as they have historically privileged from their social advantage within the context of patriarchy, however, this power has also increased “pain, fear, and alienation”, which should be used as an opportunity to encourage change and empower men individually and collectively (59).

During the second feminist wave that took place in the United States between the 60’s and 70’s there were male supporters who highly sympathized with the feminist claim and acknowledged the need of fighting sexism and patriarchy, while others rapidly opposed

8 and expressed their anti-feminist posture in different degrees (Messner, “The Limits of ‘The Male Sex Role’ An Analysis of the Men's Liberation and Men's Rights Movements' Discourse” 256). Anti-feminist men argue that women were actually the problem and view them as the ones who have the power over men, making them the actual gender who was oppressed by society were aspects such as shorter life-span, military recruitment and custody laws would justify their social disadvantage (Messner, “Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements” 41). While women fought against discrimination acts that were legal such as giving men priority in university admissions or begin denied to receive bank credits, in 1969 the U.S. legislator Richard Elrod proposed to the state legislature modifications in laws he considered were discriminating men in order to favour women (Lefkovitz n.pag). This was one of the first events that gave rise to the Men’s Rights Movement and organizations such as the Society for the Emancipation of American Men (SEAM) and the America’s Society of Divorced Men (ASDM) were created, whose founder Charles Metz believed that ex-wives were constantly manipulating men to take advantage of their wealth (Lefkovitz n.pag). Men’s Rights’ activists still persist within the gender discussion and are represented by figures such as the well-known Canadian psychology professor Jordan Peterson who believes that social hierarchies are natural and that gender is not a social construct (Illing n.pag). Men’s rejection of feminism results detrimental for them as it does not recognize masculinity as a form of gender worth of studying, which consequently confines its capacity of change (Thomas 61). Therefore, the incorporation of feminism enables an opportunity to men to make “subversive interventions into reproductions of normative masculinity itself” as a strategy to dismantle stereotypes that harm men (Thomas 61). Nevertheless, male feminists live with the constant fear of being defined as traitors while their virility and sexual orientation are highly questioned by those who believe men cannot be feminists unless they are homosexual (Kimmel “Who’s Afraid of Men Doing Feminism?” 67).

The existence of feminist men is not new and have been actively present across the social and political agenda of the United States (Kaufman 71). However, it became more prominent during the second wave of feminism during the 70’s, where the male response was more visualized through the rise of several men’s movements that showed a higher acceptance of the changes achieved by women (Kaufman 72). This led to the rise of the Men’s Liberation Movement during the 70’s from which various pro-feminist organizations emerged that encouraged men to take a feminist position and support their claim regarding women’s rights to study in higher education, to vote, have better conditions at the workplace, and reproductive rights (Aronson 634). The majority of the

9 figures that were relevant for this time were psychologists such as Robert Brannon and Joseph Pleck, whose concepts about the male sex role built on a social script which is harmful for both men and women served as foundations for the men’s liberation discourse (Messner ("The Limits of ‘The Male Sex Role’ An Analysis of the Men's Liberation and Men's Rights Movements' Discourse" 260). Moreover, they argued that whilst men had institutional power within a patriarchal system they often felt powerless in the emotional and psychological spheres, where women were considered to lead in emotional expressiveness (Messner ("The Limits of ‘The Male Sex Role’ An Analysis of the Men's Liberation and Men's Rights Movements' Discourse" 260-261).

However, according to the gender studies scholar Michael Messner, the original Men’s Liberation movement was destroyed by the more conservative wing and eventually transformed into an antifeminist effort which gave rise to the Men’s Rights Movement ("The Limits of ‘The Male Sex Role’ An Analysis of the Men's Liberation and Men's Rights Movements' Discourse" 257). Rather than acknowledging the limitations imposed on men and women with an equal impact, this group of men liberationists put their focus on the costs on masculinity and claimed that the male role is more rigid and repressive than the female role (Messner "The Limits of ‘The Male Sex Role’ An Analysis of the Men's Liberation and Men's Rights Movements' Discourse" 265). Under this light, Men’s Rights activists did not consider the traditional masculinity figure as an issue, and believed its re-establishment was necessary to fight against the actual oppressor gender, i.e. women (Kimmel “From Men's Liberation to Men's Rights: Angry White Men in the US” n.pag).

Both feminism and Gay Liberation are two social movements that have highly impacted in the further relation between masculinity and men until today, and led to the conception that “masculinity defines men, rather than the reverse” (Gardiner "Men, Masculinities" 39). Consequently, this has contributed to the establishment of masculinity as an academic research field in order to study how men have suffered the costs of hegemony, how has hegemonic masculinity been reinforced and what changes have contributed to the diversity of masculinities (Messerschmidt 9).

1.2 The measurement of masculinity

The social measurement of masculinity has been approached through the evaluation of certain aspects that are understood as inherent to masculinity. However, these features are based on established stereotypes which instead of promoting variations within masculinity they tend to reinforce hegemonic masculine standards.

The classification of the different types of masculinities can be expressed in two different forms: prescriptive statements, i.e. expectations based on what men should be like, and

10 descriptive statements, i.e. empiric demonstration of what men actually are (Pleck). Thompson, Pleck and Ferrera have pointed how these classifications have been translated into numerous measurement scales created by different authors during the 70’s and 80’s in order to measure the various notions and ideologies of masculinity by the use of both prescriptive statements and descriptive statements that have been associated with the social construction of male gender (574). Some of the scales such as the Macho Man, Brannon Masculinity Scale and Traditional-Liberated Content Scale presented different statements that would be evaluated by the individual in a Likert-type format (from strongly agree to strongly disagree) (580-588). For instance, these include statements such as “I would be more comfortable with a male boss than a female boss; A man who cries in front of a woman is making a fool of himself; It is ridiculous for men to stay home and keep house; It bothers me when a man does something that I consider 'feminine'; When a man is feeling a little pain he should try not to let it show very much, and I like for a man to look somewhat tough" (Thompson, Pleck and Ferrera 580-588). These declarations make reference to the hegemonic figure of the male as a purely bread-winner who suppresses his emotions and is physically strong, encouraging the person to evaluate their masculinity perceptions based on this standardized and homogenous model (Messner; Carrigan, Connell and Lee).

The Gender Role Conflict Model analyses four different patterns that have enable to analyse male’s behaviour and gender relations under the following aspects: Conflicts Between Work & Family Relations, Success, Power & Competition Issues, Restrictive & Affectionate Behaviour Between Men, and Restrictive Emotionally (O’Neil n.pag). Within the last pattern, studies regarding men’s role in affective relationships have constantly perceived them as emotionally inexpert, where the “big boys don’t cry” motto has positioned men as “emotionally detached creatures” that are under the control of their reason, leading to women be the ones who fulfil this aspect, even though men are also expected to be sensitive and tender (Holmes 180; Edwards; Hacker). As husbands, men should assume the main responsibility of being the economic provider, which implies being more absent during their children’s raise while the mother assumes the main role in this activity (Hacker). However, as children are more exposed to the interaction with their mothers, they might relate goodness as purely feminine, which generates a type of fear that the child might become “sissy” as the mother is not able to show him how to be masculine (Hacker 230). Regarding to traditional social expectations on how men should behave in a romantic heterosexual relationship, they are expected to assume a leading and dominant position, where they should take the initiative to approach women (Sakalli- Ugurlu). Moreover, their performance regarding sexual activity is a fundamental aspect

11 that influences how a man evaluates himself (Hacker). Even though these social conventions apply mostly to heterosexual men, other groups such as homosexuals and bisexuals must face prejudices in a higher scale as they are not entirely understood by society and their sexual practices (Garnets and Kimmel). However, they do not nullify stereotypes about them as they defend the possibility that an individual might be the exception (Garnets and Kimmel). In addition to fulfil these emotional aspects in affective relationships, masculinity has been highly constructed around specific physical features that play a dominant role in defining virility (Deaux and Lewis).

As the social construction of masculinity has led to men be in a constant effort of differentiating themselves from women, they reject those aspects that they see as feminine such as weakness, sensitivity and irrationality (Reynaud). Therefore, “body- hair, beard and penis become images of strength and symbols of power…and muscles and his brain… he sees the strength of the human being in them and sees them as typically masculine organs” (Reynaud 142-143). This is directly related to the rise of the figure of Macho Man which is composed by three main aspects: “entitlement to callous sex, violence as manly and danger as exciting” (Mosher and Tomkins 61). These aspects have constantly resonated on different media, however, according to a Break Media report, men claim that their true aspirations are not fairly represented such as taking responsibility to do more home tasks and willing to reduce work hours in order to invest more time with their families (Richman n.pag). In the case of homosexual men, they might feel less manly because they are judged according to their sexual orientation, therefore they aspire to develop a muscly physique as a defence mechanism in order to feel safer and more powerful against potential discriminatory attacks (Kimmel and Mahalik 1185). The fear of not fulfilling the masculinity type has led to an extreme where some men even reject vegetarianism as they consider it to be a “female” behaviour which is also related to feminism (See Rogers “Beasts, burgers, and hummers: Meat and the crisis of masculinity in contemporary television advertisements” and Buerkle).

The social pressure exercised on men who are expected to satisfy all of the aspects mentioned above have direct relation with their self-worth and reaffirmation of their masculinity (Kaufman). Therefore, as this constant seek for social approval limits the expansion of what constitutes masculinity, men need a space where they are exposed and encouraged to interact with other masculinities in order to build their identity with no restrictions or fear of judgement.

1.3 Hybridization of masculinity

Connell states that different masculinities are in constant interaction, therefore, gender must be understood as a “configuration of practice” which it should be analysed based on individuals’ acts and not on how they are expected to act (Connell, Masculinities 76). However, Connell considers that non-hegemonic masculinities are in a permanent state of tension with the dominant hegemonic type, constructing a dualism where the former does not have a direct influence on the latter (Demetriou 347). Under this logic, Demetriou critiques Connell’s concept of hegemonic masculinity and proposes that masculinity is a “hybrid bloc” which is constructed by a combination of both traditional and non-traditional elements which aims to reproduce patriarchy:

“It is its constant hybridization, its constant appropriation of diverse elements from various masculinities that makes the hegemonic bloc capable of reconfiguring itself and adapting to the specificities of new historical conjuncture” (348).

The concept of gender fluidity connects with this hybridization, as it proposes that gender and sexuality labels are conditioned according to the specificity of each culture and society, therefore, they become “ephemeral or reversible rather than definitive of such identity” (Linstead and Pullen 1291). Under this light, scholars from the field have identified that the study of a wider range of masculinities different from the traditional is required (Seidler; Connell). Demetriou refers to hybridization as a third space that appropriates different elements of masculinity and combines them in order to create something new by attributing a new meaning (351). An example of this, which however will not be further discussed in this thesis, is Donovan’s work where he refers to how a religious organization for men challenges hegemonic masculinity norms1.

Gender scholars have also address the questioning of heteronormativity and the repurpose of traditional masculinity standards through intimate interactions dynamics (Holmes). For instance, even though romanticism has been attributed to women as it involves care and sensitivity, men can use it as a manner to better approach women’s needs in a heterosexual relationship (Allen). Therefore, from this perspective romanticism is perceived as a less hegemonic characteristic as it might inspire equality

1 The Evangelical Christian organization Promise Keepers encourages men to not lead their lives only based on an economic function, instead, they have the alternative to exercise a spiritual leadership at home while their wives might be working, which already demonstrates the pursuit of a less traditional role stereotype (828). Moreover, they promote the pursue of a sexual life that is less body centered and it highlights the relevance of their presence for raising both sons and daughters (831-833).

13 between men and women’s roles within an intimate dynamic (Allen). Moreover, men can use intimacy as a “safe space” to express and be themselves without fear of judgement (Patrick and Beckenbach). Demetriou claims that, even though there are certain endeavours that seem to potentially challenge hegemonic masculinity by identifying new notions of what it is to be a male, it should not be interpreted as a successful elimination of patriarchy (355). Hence the advantage of considering masculinity as a hybrid bloc allows to understand it as a phenomenon that constantly changes, negotiates and transforms itself, and it helps to avoid the illusory notion that even though its variations and contradictions might indicate that it is being abolished, it is through these aspects that hegemonic masculinity is able to reproduce itself (355). Moreover, the existence of patriarchy should not be dismissed or recognized as abolished, but continue its questioning of its multiple forms of transmitting itself that are led by new actors in new spaces and that have not been previously examined. However, during the last two decades new media and gender scholars have intent to study the portrayal of masculinity in digital platforms, however from a limited scope.

Chapter 2. Masculinity on New Media

2.1 The portrayal of masculinity in the digital space

Hegemonic masculinity and its stereotypes of men’s role in various spheres such as intimate relationships, physical appearance and their role at work and home have been exhaustively studied across traditional media such as television (e.g. toys advertisements for children), books (e.g. comic books with superheroes), films (e.g. Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator and Disney movies), marketing (e.g. nutritional supplements for growing muscles) and magazine covers (e.g. Men’s Health Magazine, GQ Magazine) (Craig; Tognoli; Kareithi). In contrast to traditional media, there has been less attention paid on how these particular models of manhood are portrayed in digital and social media platforms and how these differ from one another (Morris & Anderson). Nevertheless, as masculinity studies gained relevance as a research field and new technologies have been significantly incorporated into everyday life, scholars have analysed the close interaction between masculinity and new media (Light; Van Doorn and Van Zoonen). However, the majority of masculinity and new media research has focused on the sexual interactions and identity construction of homosexual, bisexual and queer men, where the majority of them conclude that hegemonic masculinity norms prevail within the digital space (Light; Garlick; Rodriguez et.al.; Manago; Kendall; Campbell; Jenkins). The following section refers to studies that exemplify these approaches of the interaction between masculinity and digital platforms.

Campbell’s book Getting It On Online Cyberspace, Gay Male Sexuality, and Embodied Identity has been a major contribution in this topic as it was the first study that examined how gay men use a digital platform (Internet Relay Chat) to exchange images of different types of bodies in an erotized manner within three specific communities: #gaymuscle, #gaychub, and #gaymusclebears (ch. 1). Based on his results, Campbell argues that users have to reconstruct their body through textual and image formats, bringing back the relevance of the male body for the construction of their online identities (ch.1). Similarly, Kendall’s work also analyses online male interaction but she focuses only on text-based format. In her book “Hanging out in the virtual pub: Masculinities and relationships online” is based on an ethnography of the digital forum that she calls BlueSky. BlueSky is a text-only online forum which she also describes as a mud, short for “Multiple User Dungeon”, which is derived from the popular game “Dragons and Dungeons” and that is based on a multi-person online interaction (Kendall 4). BlueSky users share their concerns when approaching the opposite sex, who they constantly refer to babe, - a woman they are sexually interested in-, and they advise each other by

15 suggesting that getting drunk can be used as a strategy to approach them (Kendall 83- 84). There is a big part of users that are either bisexual or gay, however, when talking about women heterosexual users refer to them as sexual objects through expressions such as “Didja spike her?”, which participants justify it as a “joke” that ironically reflect their identity as nerds and their lack of sexual experience (85-87). According to Butler, the meaning behind this “joke” is analysed as a denaturalization of hegemony, where parodies may be exercised in order to “reidealize heterosexual norms without calling them into question” (231). Kendall concludes that even though is a male-dominated space, BlueSky allows the coexistence of non-hegemonic groups and does not discriminate against other sexual orientations, however, these groups are able to join conversations as long as they adapt to the established social norms from the dominant group, therefore reinforcing hegemonic masculinity (107-108). Similarly, Manago’s work demonstrated that the display of an almost naked male body accompanied by the quote “99% angel” incites irony, as it combines something angelical and innocent- which is related to femininity- with being “naughty” (8). This is translated as the use of a disobedient type of masculinity that reinforces the difference between masculine and feminine while showing superiority over femininity (9).

Regarding the portrayal of affective relationships on social networking sites, studies have demonstrated that young men can easily show affection to their partners through softness and romantic emotions (Elm; Mod; Fox and Warber). Even though referred to heterosexual users, studies show that men tend to display less their relationships with friends of the same sex to avoid being interpreted as homosexual, and also with their family members, which can be related to being dependent (Elm 162). However, this trend contradicts regarding romantic relationships, as male users express softness and romantic emotions to their partners equally as women, breaking the strong ideal of hegemonic masculinity of showing emotional sensitivity (162). Even though this last example portrays an alternative type of masculinity, the majority of studies by new media scholars limit the performance of online masculinity as a space where hegemonic normativity is reproduced.

2.2 Feminist masculinity: not an oxymoron

As mentioned in section 1.1, the cost of belonging to the hegemonic masculinity model has led men to suppress their emotions in order to maintain their power, which consequently are hidden as pain and fear and often manifested as “self-hate, self- deprecation, physical illness, insecurity, or addictions” (Kaufman 66). Moreover, along heterosexual relationships dynamics, men have relied on women to experience and

16 express their emotions through them (Pleck “Men’s Power With Women, Other Men, and Society: A Men’s Movement Analysis” 59). However, as feminist women were against fulfilling this emotional role, men have been, in a certain manner, forced to learn to take care of their own emotions and seek for this validation with other men in order to not depend on women (Pleck “Men’s Power With Women, Other Men, and Society: A Men’s Movement Analysis” 61). Even though some men perceive feminism as a threat to masculinity, it has also triggered a positive embrace by a group of individuals who have acknowledged it as an opportunity to redefine themselves and question their role as men. As Kimmel states, a pro-feminist man who commits to end sexual harassment, shares house tasks and dedicates to childcare could significantly improve the relationship with himself, other men, women, and with their children (“Who’s Afraid of Men Doing Feminism?” 62).

An Ipsos MORI study demonstrated that 61% of men around the world believe that gender equality is possible if they actively support women’s rights (“Global Study Reveals What World Thinks about Women's Equality” n.pag). The same study showed that a majority of men (75%) disagree with the belief that staying at home to take care of their children would make them less of a man (“Global Study Reveals What World Thinks about Women's Equality” n.pag). Moreover, surveys have indicated that 23% of American men in the U.S. claim themselves as feminists, and 37% of men around the globe also consider themselves as such (“Poll: Feminism in the U.S.” n. pag; “Global Study Reveals What World Thinks about Women's Equality” n.pag). Beyond surveys, men’s participation within the current feminist movement has also resonated on different social media. For instance, in 2015 the hashtag #MasculinitySoFragile was trending on Twitter. Even though some users considered that this hashtag was making fun of men, its main purpose was to open the discussion regarding male stereotypes that were related to toxic masculinity and highlight how damaging they were for men’s identity building (Pittman). Some users Tweeted (Pittman n.pag):

“@ariellawrencee: #MasculinitySoFragile that guys can't show one another affection without saying 'no homo'”.

“@skellyxbean: #MasculinitySoFragile sleeping around as a woman is slutty, sleeping around as a man is worthy of a high five”.

“@JWillsNH: #MasculinitySoFragile that, in a guy's world, the fact that I have pink hair means I must be gay or something #smh”.

Different tweets also refer to a variety of products such as soap, deodorants, make-up and even a jalapeño sauce that is called “Man Dip”, all of them with a “manly” packaging

17 in order to not affect the manliness of the one who is buying it (“#Masculinitysofragile Hashtag on Twitter”).

Other example that shows how feminist movements have influenced the questioning of masculinity on media is the men’s magazine GQ that created a special section in their website called “Me Too and Men” which its opening line states the following: “The #MeToo movement has opened our eyes: sexual harassment is rampant. Now it's time for men to join the conversation” (“#MeToo and Men”). Under this section stories concern various topics related to sexual harassment and give advice on how to approach women respectfully at work, socially and sexually. Some of their stories are titled “How to Know if a Woman Wants You to Stop Hitting on Her”, “How to Talk About #MeToo Without Shutting Down the Conversation” and “How to Talk Dirty Without Being a Bad Man” (“#MeToo and Men”). Other example that was highly popular across social media sites is the Uruguayan campaign created for Women’s Day 2015 by Urufarma, a company that sells contraceptives. The YouTube video shows men doing different activities while a woman’s voice narrates (translated from Spanish): “The struggle has shown results. Finally, men can do the same things as women. Now they can cry, dress well (…), watch soap operas (…), and cuddle without feeling that they have betrayed an entire gender” (Feliz Día Hombres). This campaign encourages men to embrace the feminist movement and use it for their own advantage by highlighting those more “feminine” activities and attitudes that they are now allowed to practice while achieving gender equality from a point of view that is not exclusively focused on women. The video finishes with the line “Congratulations men, you deserve it. Our struggle is for everyone” (Feliz Día Hombres).

These examples demonstrate how feminism can offer, not only for its supporters but for all men, a new configuration that combines a variety of elements both associated to women and men that enable the creation of unexplored nuances of masculinity. Furthermore, this can be also related to the emergence of the concept of the “Modern Man” has led to different endeavours led by various actors, such as magazines and companies, to take action in the redefinition of the manly type and the portrayal of them on digital channels. For instance, Shutterstock’s picture collection presents a variety of gay couples and men doing fatherhood tasks, painting and gardening, and Getty created the “Masculinity Undone” Gallery which shows men from different races, with long hair, no-muscular body type and being affective between them (Chapin). Moreover, in 2017 the popular brand Axe started the campaign “Is It Ok for Guys” which invites men to express themselves through the discussion of topics that men usually struggle with such as “Is it ok for guys to cry, wear pink, be skinny, do yoga or manscape” (“Is It Ok for Guys”). Even though the aim of these examples contribute to re-depicted masculinity on

18 media, companies are far from achieving a significant role in terms of gender stereotypes through mechanisms that remain to be commercially strategic (See Aiello and Woodhouse). More recently, the Netflix show “Queer Eye”, where five gay men help other men to experience a complete make over regarding their outfits, home design, food taste, self-care and culture. However, beyond the external make-over where the hosts help rise men’s self-esteem, it focuses on the relevance of deconstructing toxic masculinity and enable a space for different types of men–i.e. black, straight, gay or Christian–to discuss their personal struggles to make them aware that being vulnerable is positive as it allows them to be more free (Blackmore).

Chapter 3. The arise of the manosphere in social media

With the transformation of the Men’s Liberation Movement’s which claim passed from celebrating feminism to an absolute anti-feminism stand represented by Men’s Rights activists, Internet and particularly social media have enabled a space for men to express themselves allowing the fuelling of Men’s Rights activists’ radical discourse against feminist principles online (Lefkovitz n.pag.). This has given rise to the concept of the manosphere. Considered as a “toxic brand of antifeminism” the manosphere consists of a combination of a variety of blogs and forums were men discuss topics related to masculinity that have a highly misogynist tone (Ging; “What Is the Manosphere?” 1). BlueSky can be understood as one of the starting points that gave rise to the manosphere as a space to reinforce the norms associated with hegemonic masculinity. The term was firstly coined in 2009 with the creation of the Blogspot blog “The Manosphere”, where users had conversations about football matches, the video game “Call of Duty” and whether drinking beer is healthy or not (“The Start of the Manosphere”). Later it became more commonly used after Ian Ironwood (pseudonym) published his book “The Manosphere: A New Hope for Masculinity”, which he states it should be perceived as a survey and introduction from the point of view of a “progressive” manosphere blogger (Ironwood chapter 1). In his first chapter he describes the manosphere as the following (Ironwood):

“The Manosphere is an angry place. Feminists love to talk dismissively about the anger there, as if male anger invalidates any reasonable point behind the anger. But the anger is understandable by any objective measure. That’s because our culture has treated men, as a class, very poorly while asking so much from them” (Bold as in original). This quote demonstrates how some men have adopted a radical position of victimization towards women and their struggle for gender equality, justifying their resistance as they are the gender that has been oppressed. Under this light, this chapter introduces the various factors of the manosphere culture that have negatively affected how scholars have studied the performance of masculinity online, where masculinity has been mainly attributed to a radicalization of misogynist behaviours enhanced by different digital communities.

3.1 The Red Pill

The manosphere includes various concepts that are constantly used by their supporters, and one of the most known terms in which common manosphere’s topics are based on is The Red Pill. The name makes reference to the concept extracted from The Matrix movie (1999) where the main character Neo had to choose between swallowing

20 a blue or a red pill. Swallowing the Blue Pill allows the person to continue living within an illusion, a safe space, whereas the Red Pill would allow the person to be free by experiencing the raw reality and realize how threatening it can actually be (Cohen et.al). In the manosphere context, those men who take the Blue Pill are the “hapless, sexless dummies” who still approach women in an equal and traditional way, whereas the Red Pilled are “alphas who have seen the light” and become aware and revalued their power which has been naturally given (Dewey n.pag). The blue pillers are often called “Incels”, short for “involuntary celibates”, who define themselves as unable to have sex with women (Woolf).

The forum platform Reddit has served as one of the main platforms that has enabled users to the creation of the manosphere. For instance, one of their most popular communities (commonly known as subreddits) named r/TheRedPill has served as an important hub for this type of content. It was created in 2012 by the 30-year-old Republican lawmaker and men’s rights activist Robert Fisher who has been known for posting alt-right ideology online content, referring to women as inferior and resting importance to rape jokes among high school students (Romano n.pag). For instance, he stated that for a 40-year-old man dating a 15-year-old girl is “evolutionarily advantageous”, and that “just because there's a law doesn't mean 15-year-old girls were always considered out of bounds” (Romano n.pag). Furthermore, RedPill users give advice on how to pick up women, where the type of responses after the suggestion that men should strategically ignore women are “This shit works with a casual but not with a regular bitch”; “(…) you don't give a shit about them, you stop ignoring them when you wanna fuck them again” or “Ever fuck a girl once or twice but push her away because you really didn’t want to deal her with anymore?” ([JesusTheThird3]; [KeffirLime]; [RPSilverfox]).

The current head moderator of this Subreddit – which has over 140,000 followers and counting-, uses the acronym Morpheus Manfred and describes himself as male, white and conservative (Marche). Manfred explains that even though he acknowledges that many of the language used is “colourful” and “emotional” he believes that before the forum was created men lack a proper space to express themselves against their frustration with women: “Let’s say there’s a guy who just says “I hate women” – I think that’s textbook misogyny. We let them say that. Because there’s nowhere else for a man to blow off steam” (Marche n.pag). Another example of Red Pill content can be found in Ironwood’s blogs. Ironwood is a sex writer and porn reviewer, self-described as a “sex nerd”, and also creator of the blogs “The Red Pill Room” and “Sex Nerd”, among others (“Ian Ironwood”). In his posts he discusses, for example, how modern society has rested

21 power to men and fulfil their role to protect and defend, and that men need to recover this role by, for instance, taking safety measures for boys at school regarding sexual assaults (“The Ironwood Initiative: Taking Out The Trash [Patriarchy 2.0]” n.pag). Ironwood believes that boys have been less considered when compared to girls due to the fact that teaching is a female profession, therefore, feminist-oriented that “empowers girls and punishes boys” (“The Ironwood Initiative: Taking Out The Trash [Patriarchy 2.0]” n.pag). According to Ironwood, taking action on school safety exclusively for young boys is a means to avoid the “feminist indoctrination” while allowing the beginning of patriarchy 2.0 (“The Ironwood Initiative: Taking Out The Trash (Patriarchy 2.0)” n.pag).

Moreover, in his blog “Sex Nerd”, Ironwood offers an exhaustive porn catalogue in which he recommends multiple porn movies and within the website it can also be found a more “cultural” approach to porn with the photo gallery named “Porn from Antiquity” that includes a collection of different millennial artefacts and sculptures of people having sex, doing oral sex and masturbating (“Porn Parodies: A Recent History [Complete]”). He also admires art works made by pre-feminist artists who, according to him, illustrate the “variety and nuances of female expression” by images that portray white, middle class American women from the 40’s and 50’s interacting with their couples/husbands (“Prefeminist Artist Of The Month: Coby Whitmore!” n. pag). However, women’s emotions appear to be conditioned by the male role and not by doing a specific task that does not show the participation of men as equal to women. Nevertheless, some of the manosphere leaders -such as Paul Elam of the blog “A Voice for Men” do not believe that the anger expressed towards women should be taken seriously, but it should be considered as “satire and social commentary” (Pry and Valiente). This mindset has enabled the creation of other subcultures that dominate the manosphere such as the “Pickup artists”.

3.2 Pickup Artists (PUAs) and gaming culture

The subculture Pickup Artists (PUA’s) can also be found within the manosphere and it refers to men dedicated to give advice on how to seduce women and manipulate them in order to sleep with them (Woolf). Even though it is not new that men seek for dating advice for picking up or gaming, the main difference with the traditional type of advice is that the PUA ideology –often represented by Incels-, does not intend to make better men, but they blame it on women referring to them as “broken”, and that do not give men the sex they are entitled to get (Marcotte n.pag). Moreover, the Incels are considered to be the “nice guys”, also known as “betas” who are good to women but are

22 overlooked by them, while the “alphas” are those who women prefer to have sex with, and Incels describe them as “cocky assholes” (Marcotte n.pag).

PUAhate.com and the blogs Chateau Heartiste and Return of the Kings have been the main references along the PUA scene. One of PUAhate’s most popular user was Elliott Rodgers, who used to illustrate the common ideology among Incels, saying that “men shouldn't have to look and act like big, animalistic beasts to get women. The fact that women still prioritize brute strength just shows that their minds haven't fully evolved” (Woolf n.pag). In 2014 Rodgers uploaded a YouTube manifesto in which he expressed his anger against women who preferred “stupid, degenerate, obnoxious men” instead of a “magnificent gentlemen like myself” (Marcotte n.pag). More specifically he stated: “I will have my revenge against humanity, against all of you… I’ve been through college for two and a half years, more than that actually, and I’m still a virgin. It has been very torturous… I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it” (Nagle n.pag). Hours later Rodgers killed six people in a sorority of the University of California and killed himself afterwards (Zurcher). The effect that sexual rejection has over Incels is also related to the anti-feminist movement Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW). According to its members, feminism has destroyed society and they believe it is no longer worth it making an effort to approach women as they are “programmed to ruin a man’s life” (Lamoureux).

They frequently refer to women as a “bitch” that will cheat and deliberately use his money and leave (Nagle n.pag). Members also use the “Four Levels of MGTOW” scale where in order to become a member one must first take the red pill to “embrace the idea that gender equality is a lie and propaganda” (Lamoureux n.pag). In order to continue the protest against women they have to stop seeking for short and long relationships until they reach level 4 where they can be officially socially disengaged (Lamoureux n.pag). The MGTOW movement is specially depicted in the subreddits r/MGTOW where through the use of memes and comments they refer to women as the most dangerous animal on earth, who demand ridiculous amounts of money to cover their needs in exchange of a “preowned vagina” and mocking women who are going to have an abortion ([u/BandB101]; [u/scrambleggsanwafflz]; [u/YeastBeast33]).

Furthermore, the blog Chateau Heartiste is known to concentrate a big doses of women hatred and objectification (Dewey). For instance, in their website one of their main tabs says “Dating Market Value Test For Men” where men answer a series of questions and in exchange they receive a “fairly accurate assessment of the quality and number of women you are capable of attracting for a sexual relationship” (“Dating Market Value

Test For Men” n.pag). The majority of the questions are based on physical looks, occupation, amount of money they earn, experience as a leader and hypothetical situations on how to approach women, where they get more points if they “grab a boob”, “look for a prettier girl” or ignore the “fat girl” (“Dating Market Value Test For Men” n.pag).

In contrast, the same test directed to women asks questions based on physical attributes and sexual performance such as “What is the shape of your ass”, “The number of sex positions you have tried”, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how pretty are you?” and “How long are your legs in relation to your height?” (“Dating Market Value Test For Women” n.pag). The results include a description of a woman’s market value, and for a lower score woman the test states: “The majority of men are disgusted by the sight of you”, while for those with a higher score states: “You are a player’s greatest challenge, and his greatest reward” (“Dating Market Value Test For Women” n.pag). Similarly, some of the latest posts of the blog Return of the Kings include “5 Ways Men Make Themselves Feminine”, “Become The Self-sufficient And Self-assured Man Who Feminists Love To Hate”; “4 Breakthroughs That Helped Me Sleep With 100+ Women on Tinder” and “How To Fight Feminist Organizations Such As ‘Muslims For Progressive Values’” (“Masculinity”). Nevertheless, the story “How I successfully de-toxified my toxic masculinity” seemed to have a strong critic towards radical hegemonic masculinity as the author starts telling how he realized the social pressure that men struggle with in order to fulfil the expectations of what it is to be a “real man” (Rowley n.pag). He also criticises how misogyny has become the worst aspect of masculinity while sympathizing with women and explaining how they suffer from being vulnerable and unsafe when wearing short skirts and walking by themselves (Rowley n.pag). However, while it seemed like a good introduction for positive insights and advice for men to “detox”, the story finishes with an anecdotic experience where the author tells he assisted to a workshop for men to learn how to prevent raping a woman, making fun at the prevention tips that were given which seemed to be treating all men as monsters with no common sense on how to interact with the opposite sex (Rowley n.pag). With an ironic tone, he finishes the story by stating he would never eat meat or potatoes, as “these poisons can elevate testosterone counts to dangerous levels” and lead to toxic masculinity behaviours (Rouwley n.pag).

As Arrowsmith explains in her book Rethinking misogyny: men’s perceptions of female power in dating relationships due to the fact that today women have less interest in assuming the emotional responsibility of both in the relationship, men use their dating skills and reinforce attitudes in order to revalidate their role and fight against women’s power (16). Moreover, pickup artists need to exercise control over their dating experiences as a means to achieve happiness within a “time of great gender flux”

(Arrowsmith 15). The manosphere is considered an extremist space which has raised concern among various actors especially in the US, and the Southern Poverty Law Center -which aims to fight hate and bigotry-, published a report that described the manosphere as a space “thick with misogynistic attacks that can be astounding for the guttural hatred they express” (“Misogyny: The Sites” n.pag).

3.3 Manosphere on Instagram

As an object of study the manosphere has been mainly associated to Reddit, as this platform is the one that leads in regards of women-hatred content. However, other digital platforms such as Instagram have been understudied in relation to this matter, even though scholars have identified the persistence of hegemonic masculinity discourses combined with misogyny and women’s objectification on Instagram (Rodriguez, Shae, and Hernandez; Robertson).

Hashtags such as #redpill (227k posts), #mgtow (84k posts), #mensrights (50k posts), #incel (23k posts) and #theredpill (20k posts) are the ones that present a similar content as the one found in Reddit’s r/TheRedPill, which is mainly illustrated through the use of caption images (images with text). Some posts illustrate a strong anti-feminist and misogynist posture that represents the Red Pill and Incels subcultures. Some of these posts mock feminists (Figure 1), portray women as having only sexual and economic interest in men (Figure 2), implying that men are equally victims as women (Figure 3) and invalidate the role of women as potential supportive motors for their partners (Figure 4).

Figure 1. @sweats_coolant. Anti-feminist meme. Instagram, 25th April 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwqlsK9nGUQ/.

Figure 2. @mgtowredpill. “The Fairy Tale of Women.” Instagram, 18th Aug. 2018, www.instagram.com/p/BmmhNJzFGm2/.

Figure 3. @phenomenalact1. Definition of Deadbeat. Instagram, 10th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BxQuVVZgLLa/.

Figure 4. @treize83. “Behind Every Successful Man Appears a Woman.” Instagram, 21st Apr. 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwfkrC2F9fp/.

These posts also connect with other hashtags such as #mgtowisthefuture, #femalehypocrisy, #femenismiscancer, and #redpillreality, being the first the most engaged hashtag with 4k posts.

However, there are alternative hashtags that address masculinity issues from a different point of view. For instance, the hashtag #toxicmasculinity includes posts that mainly criticize non-healthy behaviours caused by hegemonic masculinity and encouraging men to be, for instance, emotionally vulnerable, body positive and heteronormativity resistant (See Figures 5, 6, 7).

Figure 5. @thomaspagemcbee. “Let Them Be Sad.” Instagram, 6th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BxH29TPjnn2/.

Figure 6. Body Positive. Instagram, 29th April 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bw2evqvB9BH/.

Figure 7. @drewmichaelwunder. Fight Against Hegemonic Masculinity. Instagram, 1st May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bw6s8DAHqvu/.

Moreover, it can also be found some hashtags such as #feministmen (6k posts), #menforfeminism (4k posts) and #mencanbefeministstoo (2k posts) which promote content that uses feminism as means to achieve gender equality. However, both Reddit and Instagram have received less attention in regards to the rise of this type of masculinity based on feminist discourses. This can be related to the common dynamic tendency among Instagrammers that “mimic hegemonic discourses rather than create resistant alternatives”, and whenever these alternatives rise, they are not visible enough in order to compete with the already established hashtags (Tiidenberg and Baym 3).

As Instagram is highly used for self-promotion and online identity creation, it is considered to be a platform that can potentially contribute to the promotion of a feminist masculinity identity through the particular hashtag #feministmen, which will be further explained in Chapter 4: Methodological Framework.

Chapter 4: Methodological Framework

This thesis studies how the formulation of a feminist masculinity resonates on the digital media platforms Reddit and Instagram. Therefore, a qualitative content analysis of the posts found in r/MensLib and #feministmen is employed in order to study the discourses that each platform promotes. The following chapter firstly explains the concepts of online identity construction and platform vernaculars in order to introduce the relevance of the online interaction for masculinity in new media. Secondly, it introduces the qualitative content analysis approach, and thirdly, introduces Reddit and Instagram as well as their particular communities that were studied.

4.1 Online identity construction

New media scholar Richard Rogers highlights the relevance of repurposing digital objects to research social and cultural questions, and that the distinction between the native digital methods and those that have been digitized should be clear enough to achieve this aim (19-20). For Rogers, the Internet does not only serve to describe how society performs online and that it should no longer be considered as a separate realm of reality, but rather as a site to “diagnose cultural change and societal conditions” (21).

This is related to Campbell’s aforementioned work in which he studies how male queer and gay users construct their identities online through the portrayal of particular discourses associated to their physical bodies in the “real” world, incorporating their significance into the virtual space (ch.1). Digital research leads to question pre-existing theories, and among the research topics that have emerged within this context the exploration of identities has become a common object of study that scholars have addressed in order to understand how identity is built in the online space (Campbell; Quinton and Reynolds 11-12; Kendall; Kietzmann et.al; Livingstone; Suler). Self- disclosure is a fundamental step to create relationships with other individuals through a “conscious or unconscious revelation of personal information (e.g., thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes) that is consistent with the image one would like to give” (Kaplan and Haenlein 62).

According to Kendall, individuals feel attracted by the idea of performing multiple identities online that they cannot obtain offline (8-10). This opens a world of possibilities for identity creation as it enables the online disinhibition effect which Suler distinguishes in two types: benign and toxic (321). The former stands for the process in which users aim for self-exploration and know themselves better in order to address personal

30 concerns, while the latter is related to the opposite process, in which the user does not achieve a healthy fulfilment, often characterized by compulsion and negative feelings (321). Among the various elements it includes, the disinhibition effect includes dissociative anonymity were users are able to feel less vulnerable as they disconnect their online presence with their real identity, leading to the disregard of the consequences of what they do or say in the digital space (322). Particularly in relation to online text conversation, Suler refers to the element of solipsistic introjection in which the user develops a strong assimilation of others’ messages which can lead to the adoption of other’s ideas as if they were of their own, amplifying the disinhibition effect while the user re-evaluates particular insights, which can be both in a positive or negative way (323). Moreover, conversations found in forums allow users feel that they are interacting with more “real” people in a more face-to-face dynamic, as opposed with traditional media such as television, were individuals are not users but viewers that cannot exchange words with others nor have control over the topics they discuss (Kendall 7).

4.2 Platform vernaculars

According to new media scholar L. Manovich, since the 2000’s the constant rise of user-generated content enabled by social media has established an innovative and solid basis for studying culture and society (Manovich 2). Moreover, social media research proposes there is a semantic abundance and valuable forms of expressions embedded within digital platforms which are translated into the various discourses it can afford through a combination of text, images, videos, and audio files exchange (Kaplan and Haenlein 63; Gillespie 349). Thus, the concept of platform vernacular proposed by Gibbs and others suggest that each social media platform has “its own unique combination of styles, grammars and logics”, which through the interaction between the user and the platform’s specific features are convened and configured as “grammars of communication” that are in constant mutation (257). For instance, the hashtag (#) has become a grammar of communication on Twitter and it has been widely used as a means to organize a discussion among small or big groups of users, even though they might not be directly connected to each other (Bruns and Burgess 1). Created by technologist Chris Messina in mid-2007 as an effort to simplify the process in which Twitter users could track particular content within the platform, hashtags are used to indicate and mark specific topics as relevant, creating a community where users engage and interact around particular interests (Messina; Bruns and Burgess 3-5).

However, platform vernaculars can migrate to other social media platforms and enable the appropriation of its use (Gibbs et.al. 257). For instance, the use of the hashtag as a

31 grammar of communication was originally and exclusively associated to Twitter, but for the last decade it has been adopted by Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, Vine, and other social media users that employ it with a similar purpose, magnifying its social meaning across the online culture (Daer, Hoffman and Goodman). Furthermore, the user continues to find new alternatives to define their online identity within the virtual world, thus the use of images has also become a relevant aspect to enable the “digitally material” across different platforms (Van Doorn 534). According to Jensen Schau social media users choose specific visual symbols for self-representation on their profiles based on the relevance and meaning these include, where the majority relate to a particular “object, brand, institution, or commercial enterprise” (394-399). Among the various forms of self-disclosure, users tend to create a digital self for achieving “digital likeness” through the use of both self-images that resemble their physical bodies or a more conceptual visualization of the self that illustrates, for instance, their social status (395-396). Moreover, the use of images within social media can be repurposed in multiple forms by the user, such as memes, applying filters or text, which brings a new understanding on how the user interacts differently with these platforms (Niederer 14). Additionally, visual vernaculars allow the analysis of the combination of visual and textual narratives which brings a higher understanding of diverse patterns that affect the platform’s content (Pearce et.al. 2). Moreover, a multimodal approach that combines visual and textual analysis both individually and combined –e.g. photos that include captions- enhance the creation of meaning (Pearce et.al. 6).

4.3 Qualitative content analysis

Content analysis has become one of the most widely known and used research techniques for social science studies, which aims to “analyze data within a specific context in the view of the meanings someone -a group or a culture- attributes to them” (Krippendorff 403). Among the popular sources to exercise content analysis text and visual representations have served to identify meaningful trends which a common person would not be easily able to appreciate (404).

Drawing on conventional and direct content analysis of visual and textual content generated by the user allows to identify significant thoughts and concepts from a feminist masculinity point of view. Applying conventional analysis has the advantage of acquiring direct information from the participants in a passive manner, as it does not enforce predetermined classifications (Hsieh and Shannon 1279). As for direct content analysis, it contributes to the lack of information of a particular topic that needs further study, which

32 leads to “validate or extend conceptually a theoretical framework or theory” (Hsieh and Shannon 1281).

4.4 Introducing Reddit

Reddit is a community-driven platform for sharing text posts and links that can also include images, and its content is categorized according to a big variety of topics (Singer et al., n.pag; Molina). Founded in 2005 by Steve Huffman and Alexis Ohanian, Reddit is the 5th most visited website in the United States and 19th most visited worldwide, with 330+ million monthly active users (“The Top 500 Sites On The Web”; “Top Sites in The United States”; “The Conversation Starts Here” n.pag). According to a Pew Research report, U.S. Reddit users are generally men (71%), between the ages of 18 and 29 (59%), and almost half of them (47%) define themselves as liberal, and only a few (13%) as conservative (Mitchell et.al).

Reddit considers itself as a “home to thousands of communities, endless conversation, and authentic human connection”, where users are invited to participate whether they are “into breaking news, sports, TV fan theories, or a never-ending stream of the Internet’s cutest animals” (“The Conversation Starts Here” n.pag). As the majority of forum dynamics work, Reddit’s users are encouraged to participate in a free and anonymous discussion, creating a space to address topics that can be socially restricted on a public forum such as Twitter (Gobbo et al.). Moreover, any individual can access Reddit, but can only post or comment within a subreddit through the creation of an account, which only requires a username and password, where identity is verified by including a valid e-mail (Gobbo et al.).

Users are invited to comment on existing posts and upvote or downvote for their favourite, but can also generate their own original content and submit it in specific sub- communities, widely known as “subreddits”, which can have their own rules and are supervised by volunteers known as “moderators” (Singer et.al., n.pag). Beyond deciding the topic of the subreddit, its description and if it is appropriate for underage users, moderators are entitled to delete any post or comment they consider to be offensive and even ban a user for these acts (“What Is a Moderator?” n.pag). If the user considers there is a post or comment as an “exceptional contribution” and worth highlighting in order to be seen by other users, the user can buy Reddit “coins” and give the publication different types of “awards” –silver, gold or platinum- (“Coins” n.pag).

Acronyms are commonly used among Reddit posts. For instance, TIL stands for “Today I learned”, DAE: “Does Anyone else”, AMA: “Ask Me Anything”, or OP: “Original Poster” to refer to the original user who started the discussion (Silverman n.pag). Furthermore,

Reddit’s posts and comments’ engagement are evaluated through a voting system, where the user can upvote or downvote content by clicking the arrows next to the username, which determines its relevance and visibility as higher score content appears in the subreddit’s front page (Gobbo et al.).

4.5 Introducing Instagram

Instagram is a social media mobile App for capturing and sharing visual content with friends instantaneously, specifically pictures and videos that can be modified and edited through various types of filters (Hu, Manikonda and Kambhampati 595). Being the 6th more popular social media worldwide, Instagram has 1 billion monthly active users, where 52% are female and 48% male (“Global Instagram User Distribution by Gender 2019 | Statistic”; “Global Social Media Ranking 2019 | Statistic”; “Instagram: Active Users 2018”).

After creating a free account using their Facebook account or their e-mail, users are encouraged to post photos and videos that will be shown in their profile and other users’ feed (Moreau n.pag). Moreover, Instagram users can upload a picture or video and add a description to it, while using hashtags (#) and/or mentions (@) to refer to particular keywords and tag other friends, also known as followers (Hu, Manikonda and Kambhampati 596). The user is able to follow any other user’s content by just clicking on the “follow” button on their profiles, enabling the option to be followed back as well (Moreau n.pag). If the user wants to have a higher control on the users that can follow their content, there is an option to set the profile to “public” or “private”, where the user receives an approval request that can accept or reject (Moreau n.pag). An image or video post can be liked or commented by the users, where the first has become the major indicator of engagement and relevance, which has led users invest a significant level of attention to this number (Martin n.pag).

One of the latest Instagram’s features are Stories, which affords the possibility to upload pictures and videos in a similar but temporal manner, as the content uploaded can be viewed by the followers only for 24 hours, then it expires and it is no longer available to their followers (Read n.pag). Among the types of pictures that are commonly uploaded by Instagram users, 46.6% of the pictures are categorized as selfies and with friends, whereas those that include food, gadget (technological devices) and captioned photos (images combined with text) represent 10% each, which indicates that the platform is mainly used for self-promotion and connection with friends (Hu, Manikonda and Kambhampati 597).

4.6 Case studies: r/MensLib and #feministmen

Subreddit r/MensLib

In regards to masculinity portrayal, as mentioned in Chapter 3 Reddit has been negatively associated with the creation of the manosphere, particularly with the content found in r/TheRedPill which is highly offensive towards women and feminism. However, in order to study how alternative subreddits can contribute to a more women-friendly masculinity through the adoption of feminist values, r/MensLib –short for Men’s Liberation-is considered to be appropriate for this purpose, as it opposes to the content found in the r/TheRedPill. The subreddit r/MensLib was created in 2018 and it has 67.2k members, and the purpose of its creation is to “explore and address men's issues in a positive and solutions-focused way” in order to “create active progress on issues men face, and to build a healthier, kinder, and more inclusive masculinity” (“r/MensLib”). Therefore, this subreddit is an effort that appropriates and promotes the original Men’s Liberation Movement’s pro-feminist claim that arose during the 70’s before it transformed to the anti-feminist Men’s Rights’ Movement. Within their main description its creators state that they consider themselves pro-feminists, as they stand for gender equality by addressing issues that are correlated with women’s issues, for instance, “addressing men's ability to be more involved fathers corresponds with efforts to make things fairer for women in the workplace” (“MensLib” n.pag). Moreover, under “posting rules” it can be found a link to a specific section titled “What do we mean when we say /r/MensLib is "pro-feminist"?” where its creators further explain and reinforce their feminist posture “to explore and revisit traditional models of masculinity, in order to promote the development of men as better and healthier individuals, participants in their relationships, and leaders in their communities” (“What Do We Mean When We Say /r/MensLib Is ‘pro-Feminist’?” n.pag).

Hashtag #feministmen

As the manosphere and alternative masculinities have been understudied on Instagram, the hashtag #feministmen was considered to be pertinent in order to study the portrayal of a feminist masculinity identity through its content. The posts selected under this hashtag were analysed according to their images, image descriptions, and comments that were created by different Instagram users. As mentioned in the previous section, there are other hashtags that also represent a more women-friendly type of masculinity such as #menforfeminism (4k posts) and #mencanbefeministstoo (2k posts), however #feministmen was considered as a priority as it includes the higher number of posts among all hashtags (6,641 posts).

4.7 Content selection

In order to study the portrayal of a feminist masculinity on Reddit and Instagram the top ten posts found in the subreddit r/MensLib and #feministmen on Instagram were analysed through a close reading of their text, images, user comments, and image captions. The corpus sample is based on the analysis of the top ten most engaged posts based on the number of upvotes from r/MensLib within the last month (April 2019) and the top then most engaged posts based on the number of likes of the #feministmen on Instagram within the last month too. In both cases the number of upvotes and likes serve as indicators of how strongly users support and engage with that post.

The limitations of this study is that the portrayal of a feminist masculinity was not examined in other subreddits and hashtags that could have potentially contribute to analyse variations within this type of masculinity in alternative digital communities. For instance, analyse how a feminist masculinity is promoted in r/TheRedPill and in #toxicmasculinity, where the latter would contribute to analyse content that encourages seems to favour the male perspective on the adoption of feminist values.

The following tables indicate the information of the posts selected from r/MensLib and #feministmen.

Reddit’s top 10 most engaged posts

Post Title Created by Score Number of Type of number comments post 1 “The Kavanaugh u/needyspace 2.0k 234 Post hearing made 17 April 2019 includes Republican men a link to more sexist and an less likely to external believe women article. who say they were assaulted”.

(*See links to all posts in Appendix). 2 “Study Finds u/Paradoxataur42 2.0k 257 Post Parents Are 25 April 2019 includes More Likely to a link to Correct Gender an Non-Conforming external Behavior in Boys article. than in Girls” 3 “Teacher: We u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK 1.4k 137 Post must teach 24 April 2019 includes emotional a link to literacy to boys. an Here’s what external article.

happened when I tried”. 4 “Prison Rape is u/BreShark 1.8k 62 Post Not a Punch 11 May 2019 includes Line”. a link to an external article. 5 “Morehouse u/BreShark 1.3k 46 Post College, the 14 April 2019 includes Nation's Only All- a link to Male Historically an Black College, external Will Start article. Admitting Transgender Men Next Year” 6 “I am a male u/ztfreeman 1.2k 86 Sexual victim of sexual 14 April 2019 assault assault victim attempting to find seeking justice, but all I for help have faced are and obstacles and support. hate”. 7 “How a support u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK 1.1k 243 Post group for the 23 April 2019 includes dateless became a link to one of the an internet’s most external dangerous article. subcultures”. 8 “Underdiagnosed u/BreShark 1.0k 104 Post Male Eating 30 April 2019 includes Disorders Are a link to Becoming an Increasingly external Identified”. article. 9 “‘Boys will be u/boypodcast 1.0k 64 Post boys’ limits all 15 April 2019 includes genders: We a link to need a radical an shift in how we external raise boys”. article. 10 “Men Have No u/snarkerposey11 975 215 Post Friends and 3 May 2019 includes Women Bear the a link to Burden”. an external article. Table 1. r/MensLib Posts Information. Extracted on May 6th from www.reddit.com/r/MensLib. Instagram top 10 most engaged posts

Post Title/Description Created by Likes Number of Type of post numbe comments r 1 “Feminist Men of @shethepeoplet 14329 84 Image with Bollywood”. v text and caption

Link www.instagram.com/p/ BwZbBwNgLmr/

2 “This is How Normal @beafeministbo 2509 47 Image with People Behave” y text and caption Link www.instagram.com/p/ BwH2Q-kFueU/ 3 “Straight Men and @beafeministbo 2097 43 Image with Sexual Consent” y text

Link www.instagram.com/p/ BwyzvSgB23B 4 “Never Too Young To @beafeministbo 2010 45 Image with Understand Women” y text and caption Link www.instagram.com/p/ BxIlKT5BKlI 5 “Women’s Rights Are @beafeministbo 1603 77 Image with More Important Than y text and Men’s Feelings” caption

Link www.instagram.com/p/ Bwd1QHZBjoH 6 “White Privilege in @feminist.maga 1377 7 Image with Criminal Acts” zine text and caption Link www.instagram.com/p/ Bv7FilulqjP 7 “Black Lives Do Not @feminist.maga 1189 13 Image with Matter In The Judicial zine text and System”. caption

Link www.instagram.com/p/ Bv9bleVlJIQ 8 “Critique Against US @feminist.maga 358 0 Image with Politicians’ Racist zine text Behaviours”

Link www.instagram.com/p/ Bv63PDJlG4j/ 9 “Thank A Feminist” @humansofsafe 349 2 Image with places text and Link caption www.instagram.com/p/ BwoaWGoHCq4 10 “Four Afro-American @feminist.maga 345 5 Image with Actresses” zine text and caption Link www.instagram.com/p/ Bv9bkehlk7Y/

Table 2. #feministmen Posts Information. Extracted on May 16th by using the DMI Instagram Tool and from each post link.

In the case of Reddit the time frame was selected according to Reddit’s algorithmic selection per month which displays those posts that have a higher score (number of upvotes minus number of downvotes) within the last month based on the date it was accessed. I accessed Reddit on May 6th 2019 and as I sorted the posts by clicking the button “per month” to filter the posts, Reddit showed the most engaged ones between April 6th and May 6th 2019. The same logic applies for a post’s comments, where below the post there is the filter option that says “sort by”, and the option “top” was selected in order to see the top comments. The score of a comment is represented by “points” that appear next to the username, which is also calculated by the number of upvotes minus number of downvotes. However, even though the “top” filter was applied, there are some comments that have a higher number of points but do not appear as the top ones, and no official explanation was found to this. Therefore, in order to follow the same criteria to every comment selection, the first three or six comments (depending on the case) were chosen after sorting them by “top”. In Reddit’s case the most relevant quotes within the posts were analysed as well as their top comments in order to study the discussion that rose among the users. Moreover, as 9 out of 10 posts did not include text but only an external link to other websites, for instance, news articles or research papers, six of their top comments were analysed considering that this will bring more insights about the user’s posture of the topic discussed. Only one post that did not include an external link included the analysis of its top three comments. Furthermore, three out of ten posts are no longer active, meaning that users can no longer comment on these publications but they are still accessible. The following message is shown: “This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/MensLib. New comments cannot be posted”.

On Instagram’s case, the platform also has a similar feature to display the top ten most engaged posts, however, not from the last month but since the date on which the hashtag was first created (i.e. September 2nd 2018). Therefore, the top ten most engaged posts of the last month were selected by making use of the Digital Methods Initiative’s (DMI) Instagram Tool, which by querying #feministmen it scrapes valuable information such as user name, date, link, number of likes, among other elements of each post since the hashtag was created. I manually selected the dates because the tool does not allow to set the date during the query, therefore once I downloaded the large data set I manually selected the posts that were created between April 6th and May 6th in order to be consistent with Reddit’s time frame. Some of the limitations of this tool relates to the

39 possibility that once the query was made it might not show all of the posts that were created under that hashtag, due to the fact that it shows only the posts from public accounts and not those that belong to private accounts. Moreover, the main content analysed of the post was the image itself, as the majority of the posts were captioned images (images with text) for which I made a close reading to the visual elements of the image, the user and the image caption.

A preliminary analysis of each platform was performed to describe the information found in each post and was organized in tables. This included basic information such as title, creator, date of creation, score or number of likes, number of comments, type of post, main aspects discussed and top 3 or 6 comments, depending on the post. These tables can be found in the Appendix I of this thesis. This preliminary analysis allowed to identify patterns and topic commonalities among the top 10 posts in each platform, which were further categorized according to the particular discourses that the posts promoted. The next chapter presents the discourses as subtitles where the main aspects of the posts and users’ comments are discussed in depth. The discourses found in r/MensLib are “Educating pluriform masculinities”, “Gender neutralizing issues”, “Persistence of male stigmas”, and “Distant but close figures”. The discourses found in #feministmen are “Feminist men have gone”, “Underrepresentation of feminist men” and “Feminism connected to racism”. Additionally, the comments made by Reddit users in r/MensLib that were analysed can also be found in Appendix I as some of them were not included in their totality due to extension constraints.

Chapter 5: Findings

5.1 r/MensLib: a feminist anti-manosphere

Reddit’s posts were highly diverse in terms of discourses they promoted. However, the majority were highly related to what r/MensLib intends to promote according to their values described in their official page which encourage a positive masculinity including emotional vulnerability, education about gender roles and stereotypes, and the struggle against masculinity stigmas such as sexual assault and mental health. There was only one discourse that differed from the previous ones as it relates to the contexts in which a feminist masculinity is shaped, which is furtherly explained under the last discourse titled “Distant but close figures”.

Furthermore, there was only one post that was written by the user, as the other nice posts included external links that led to articles published in different news websites. Among the common users, there are two who post the most: u/BreShark is the creator of three posts and u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK the creator of two. In terms of engagement, nine out of ten posts had a 1,000 Reddit score or more, but there was a higher variety in terms of number of users’ comments that differ per post (See Table 1).

5.1.1 Educating pluriform masculinities

Among Reddit’s posts and comments, it was identified that the r/MensLib community promotes a strong discourse based on the relevance of educating boys about positive masculinity while making a call for shifting how boys are being raised in order to avoid the reproduction of hegemonic masculinity stereotypes during their adulthood. This discourse aims to achieve this purpose through three different mechanisms in two particular contexts: a) at home, were parents should exercise less control over potential non-conforming gender behaviour on their children, and b) at school, by admitting transgender students, and teaching emotional literacy. These aspects are “appropriated” by r/MensLib’s users by linking the post to four different articles -where one is based on an academic paper-, that specifically address the aforementioned topics from various perspectives, which are mainly acclaimed through various comments that express support from the users.

For instance, regarding the first context (home) one of the posts titles “Study Finds Parents Are More Likely to Correct Gender Non-Conforming Behavior in Boys than in Girls” and it is the second most engaged post among the top ten, with a Reddit score of 2.0k and with the highest number of comments (257). This post links to an article on

PsyPost.com2 which is linked to the original research report found in the American Psychological Association website. This report studied how non-conforming behaviours in relation to their sex influenced their parent’s reactions towards these behaviours, which is considered to be highly relevant for the child’s development. Moreover, results demonstrated that parents tend to feel more uncomfortable particularly when their sons were having non-conforming attitudes, but less uncomfortable when they employed more traditional gender role behaviours (Spivey, Huebner and Diamond n.pag). This study results highly relevant for r/MensLib community as it demonstrates how society, particularly parents, are imposing hegemonic gender behaviours over their sons in a controlled and restricted manner, limiting any other possibility of experiencing a different type of masculinity that does not fulfil their gender expectations.

Relevant comments:

“Because being more "masculine" is allowed, but being less "masculine" is not” (u/N64Overclocked).

“That would be nice. I can't count how many times I was made fun of as a kid for choosing a "feminine" instrument in band” (u/ N64Overclocked).

“Similarly, I wanted to play drums so bad and was forced to play flute instead because girl” (u/SlowFoodCannibal).

“I really hope this gets a larger study eventually because these results confirm a lot of observations we've had on this sub and I've had in my personal life” (u/anhedonious_rex)

“This is a big reason feminism is so important for men. If femininity was as accepted as masculinity, than men will be more able to express themselves how they want. Win for men” (u/jaman4dbz).

Their users’ reactions reflect their concern about the study’s results, by criticizing these exercises of control that leads to repression (u/SlowFoodCannibal; u/N64Overclocked) and humiliation (u/N64Overclocked). Moreover, users refer to the fact that these topics are commonly discussed among the subreddit, emphasizing their member’s effort to positively contribute in redefining masculinity in the online space and in the offline at the same time. This is particularly reflected on the comment made by u/jaman4dbz which

2 PsyPost is a psychology website that offers news and research regarding “human behaviour, cognition and society”. Read complete article at www.psypost.org/2019/04/parents-more- uncomfortable-with-gender-nonconforming-behaviors-in-boys-study-finds-53540.

42 reinforces the feminism claim as being powerful and convenient for both men and women.

In regards to the second context (school) in which this discourse emerges is reflected in three posts (#3, #5 and #9). The first one is titled “Teacher: We must teach emotional literacy to boys. Here’s what happened when I tried”, and makes reference to a survey conducted by Plan International3 which demonstrated that teenage boys between 10 and 19 years old feel that they should fulfil stereotypical behaviours even if they consider it is against their will. Therefore, the article’s author proposes to teach emotional literacy so that boys can avoid feeling upset whenever they want to show their feelings, for instance, by crying, and highlights the need of including a school program that combines academic, social and emotional learning.

Relevant comments:

“I think this is important BUT I think there's also a caveat. I will find you a hundred men in this subreddit who have tried to be "emotionally literate" with partners or family, only to be rebuffed. Emotional literacy is important, yes, but it needs to be tied to a willingness to allow men to be emotionally literate. In my view, this article does some of the same thing a lot of articles do, which is give a ton of agency to "men" without framing it enough as a societal problem. Just be more emotionally literate, dummy! is not a good message, but it's important to talk about openly” (u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK – Original Poster).

(In response to the previous comment): “THISSSS!!!! I am a black man built like a house and if I ever showed any emotion growing up that wasn’t masked as anger/rage I was told to be a man. By the same fucking people telling me I need to open up more and that I’m intimidating because I’m quiet” (u/slam9h).

3 Plan International is an independent and humanitarian organization which works on developing children’s rights and equality for girls. Read complete article at www.planusa.org/docs/state-of- gender-equality-summary-2018.pdf

43 certainly isn’t attractive. Well, fuck that, I’ve learned my lesson. I don’t cry in front of my wife any more” (u/jobobicus).

(Extract) “Not only do men have to be taught emotional intelligence - so do women. Just because someone is born a woman doesn't mean that they are automatically emotionally intelligent” (u/canyouseethedark).

These comments include a variety of perspectives in regards to the same issue. For instance, the first comment made by the Original Poster u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK criticises, even though he considers teaching emotional literacy relevant, society does not sufficiently frame it “as a societal problem”, therefore, asking men to be emotionally literate requires a much deeper change in society’s structure that cannot be easily solved. This comment also makes a clear reference to the struggle men have throughout their lives in trying to be transparent with their emotions, but are constantly “rebuffed”. This is furtherly strengthened by the other users’ personal experiences such as being expected to express only “masculine” emotions such as anger and rage, and being rejected by their family members when crying in front of their wives, leading to frustration and blocking any emotional manifestations to them (u/slam9h; u/jobobicus). Furthermore, the user u/canyouseethedark believes that expecting emotional literacy exclusively from men can enhance gender expectations, as women should also acquire this quality despite the fact that they have been historically considered to have less issues in expressing themselves.

A second post (#5) titles “Morehouse College, the Nation's Only All-Male Historically Black College, Will Start Admitting Transgender Men Next Year” and it also makes references to the role of school in encouraging a healthier type of masculinity. The post links to a Time’s article, however, the link seems to be broken so I looked for the same article on CNN4. The article discusses about Morehouse College, a “historically black all- men’s” school in Atlanta that will start admitting transgender students who identify as men in 2020. This is after the creation of the new policy “Gender Identity Admissions and Matriculation Policy”, which will be applied to every private school. However, as it is a male’s school it will only admit individuals that self-identify as men, therefore, it will not admit men that are in transition to become a woman.

Relevant comments:

4 The article “The nation's only black all-male college will begin admitting transgender students in 2020” can be read at www.edition.cnn.com/2019/04/13/us/morehouse-college-transgender- policy/index.html

“Good on Morehouse for taking the initiative of addressing anti-LGBT sentiments while making a policy decision that will prove to be extremely affirming to black transgender men, who don't receive a lot of attention when discussing these issues” (u/BreShark).

“Wow, this is awesome. Morehouse is a great school and this will make it even stronger” (u/SlowFoodCannibal)

“Can someone explain to me the benefit of an all-male college? I think gender segregation makes for an inherently toxic climate and narrow worldview. Trans people or not. I'm concerned by "anyone who transitions from male to female will not be automatically eligible to receive a degree from the institution". Does this include women who transition after having begun their studies at Morehouse?” (u/trankhead324).

(Extract) “If it was white, all-male, I'd be more concerned because that's what originally colleges were. But most colleges like this rose up to target certain demographics original colleges would have denied access too. Helping them over come the status quo. More common are all-female (eg. Wellesley). In this case, black men” (u/domianCreis).

Users’ comments were mainly positive as they expressed support to the integration of male minorities such as transgender and particularly black men, who some consider relevant as these two groups have been constantly oppressed by hegemonic masculinity (u/BreShark). An interesting discussion rises among different users as some express disapproval for gender segregated schools which supposedly lead to the creation of a “toxic” atmosphere and that does not encourage gender equality (u/trankhead324). However, in response to this u/domianCreis particularly implies that gender segregation is tolerable as long as it does not privilege white males, and argues that it offers an opportunity for black men to overcome status quo.

The last post (#9) titles “‘Boys will be boys’ limits all genders: We need a radical shift in how we raise boys” and it links to an article5 with the same name criticises how society constantly enforces traditional masculinity behaviours and highlights the relevance of rising boys within a context of positive masculinity in order to avoid toxic behaviours such as misogyny and emotional damaging during their adulthood. The psychologist Dr. Michael Reichert cites a study which demonstrated that four-year-old boys tend to easily

5 The article "Boys will be boys" limits all genders: We need a radical shift in how we raise boys” can be read at www.salon.com/2019/04/11/boys-will-be-boys-limits-all-genders-we-need-a- radical-shift-in-how-we-raise-boys/.

45 adopt negative masculinity behaviours such as choosing “male toys”, how they dress, talk to each other, and how they initiate harassing girls in school.

Relevant comments:

(Extract) “This matters to me because I facilitate gender-transformative boys programs as my full-time job and trying to help boys build the emotional literacy, supportive friendships and self-resilience they need to positively maintain their mental health is, like is said in this article, a tall order. Any thoughts on how we help boys grow into emotional and strong men?” (u/boypodcast – Original Poster).

(Extract) “Men and boys are pushed into what we falsely consider "manly" which is anger, toughness, confidence... all 3 things that mean bad news when we also teach men and boys that sex is the goal and if a woman likes you she'll give it to you. when a man only knows how to respond to adversity with rage, and only knows 1 goal: sex, what do we expect them to do when women don't give them what we want? it starts at the beginning” (u/_Not_Bruce_Wayne_).

(Extract) “Education is the key! We need to study and understand the problems. Then, as a society, we can change them. Many social problems can be improved by deepening our understanding of how we perpetuate unhealthy masculine myths. Just like feminists have been doing for decades. - we can learn a lot from their model. We need more masculine studies in universities. Not under women’s studies and not as a branch of feminism” (u/Gravitygrave32).

(Extract) “But I’m really, really excited that I can, as a 23 year old, begin to deconstruct all of these norms that I’ve internalized and externalized about masculinity. I’m really excited that conversations like this (and the work that has been done and is being done in academia) are being pushed and pushed by more and more media outlets so that the kinds of conversations that women have been having for the last couple of decades can now be had by men in the mainstream sense” (u/Jamonde).

The majority of the previous comments indicate how adults acknowledge their responsibility on educating young men to develop within a less conventional context of what it is to be a man. Particularly the Original Poster’s comment (u/boypodcast) who states that his or her job relates to gender transformative programs demonstrates how r/MensLib members are actively willing to achieve gender equality in the offline world too.

The comments made by u/Gravitygrave32 and u/Jamonde indicate that the role of feminism is key and that their model should be adopted and exercised in order to resist

46 the hegemonic masculinity discourse. However, u/Gravitygrave32 makes a strong point when explaining the need of building a positive masculinity by following the feminist model but not relying completely on it, which he or she suggests that masculine studies should emerge as a separate field and not under the scope of “women’s studies and not as a branch of feminism”.

5.1.2 Gender-neutralizing issues

The second discourse promoted by Reddit’s posts is how men are allowed to care about certain issues that have been more attributed to women such as eating and mental disorders. Post #8 titles “Underdiagnosed Male Eating Disorders Are Becoming Increasingly Identified” and links to a National Public Radio article6 and tells the story of hockey player Logan Davis who developed an eating disorder due to his obsession of achieving the optimal physical condition to impress his couch. The article later introduces results from a National Eating Disorders Association survey which indicated that eating disorders among men are more common than expected - 1 in 3 people with this disorder is male. The article highlights how society sees weight loss among athletes as strength and as a positive aspect that indicates how invested they are to become better, ignoring how detrimental it can become. Moreover, this issue is unconsidered on men as it has been mainly assumed as a female problem.

Relevant comments:

“I am glad to see this being talked about more. There was also a piece in the Washington Post recently about these Silicon Valley "body hacking" trendy diet things which seem awfully like covers for EDs. Like the Twitter CEO who claims to eat a single meal a day of a lean meat and green vegetables and often fasts for days on end. It's frustrating to see this happening and for everyone to applaud him like he's some kind of lifestyle guru. It is a worrying trend” (u/KaliTheCat).

In response to the previous post:

(Extract) “This sounds so bizarre. For real?” (u/andyoulostme)

“Eating disorders" are for women, "bOdY hAcKiNg" is for men. Seems like a glamorisation/masculinisation of an ED” (u/Penelopkali)

6 The article “Underdiagnosed Male Eating Disorders Are Becoming Increasingly Identified” can be read at www.npr.org/2019/03/02/699733879/underdiagnosed-male-eating-disorders-are- becoming-increasingly-identified.

Users mainly showed support towards the discussion of this topic that has been stigmatized for men, while also expressing discomfort towards the health risk of eating disorders. Moreover, particularly u/Penelopkali refers to the fact that men’s eating disorders have been underestimated as a disorder, and consequently camouflaged as “body hacking”, which has a more positive connotation to the process of body modification.

Post #10 titles “Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden” and it links to a Harpers Bazaar article7 which mainly discusses about how women carry the burden of men’s emotional lives as a consequence of toxic masculinity. As expressing emotions has been constantly related to a female quality, men suppress their emotional pain which limits their capacity of acquiring tools to deal with sadness, anger and frustration, which leads to rely on women for comfort. Therefore, men see therapy as a sign of weakness, but psychologist Angela Beard argues it is a good opportunity for a changing process that questions the negative masculinity stereotypes. The article also mentions that studies demonstrated that many men feel very lonely but only a few decide to go to mental therapy.

Relevant comments:

“This is absolutely a thing for me. I'm very open with my emotions and i do have friends in my life i can open up to at times but most of my friends tend to lean on me pretty heavily emotionally and i dont feel like they have the capacity to really help me process stuff in return. And surprise, i wind up dumping emotional stuff on my girlfriends big time. Its funny, i remember feeling proud of myself that i was so open emotionally and it felt like a feminist badge of honour. And then a few years ago my girlfriend broke up with me mostly because of how much emotional processing work i was putting on her. With my girlfriend right now this has become an issue that shes mentioned a few times and so I'm really trying to take it seriously this time. It's a hard balance to strike but i agree with the article that the key is to make sure my girlfriend isn't the only person i have to open up to”. (u/PantsDancing)

“Do you see a therapist?” (u/cocoacowstout)

“Demonizing male companionship this way is how we get bitter isolated dudes” (u/CleanWholesomePhun)

7 The article “Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden” can be read at www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships- emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/.

“(disclaimer, i'm a trans man, imo this problem primarily affects cis men). I've been in relationships with guys like this. where you're the only person they talk to and they feel crushingly lonely if you don't have time to talk every second. they're needy and possessive and insecure and then you're the asshole for getting burnt out and breaking up because "he's so sensitive, think of his feelings too." yeah, that's the problem, I thought of his feelings constantly and couldn't deal with it anymore”. (u/sudo999)

Comments on this post show various perspectives in regards to addressing men’s mental health. Firstly, the majority backup the fact that men struggle to express their emotions and that it is detrimental for their relationships with women and other men. For instance, u/PantsDancing shares his personal story about how he was able to develop emotional literacy with his girlfriend which is positive considering this is hard to achieve for many men. However, he excessively relied on his girlfriend which resulted detrimental for both, but he also shows positive in relation to seek for other people to share his feelings.

Moreover, u/sudo999 represents a different type of masculinity as he self-describes as a trans man. His perspective reflects a man similar to u/PantsDancing in the sense that he does not have problems with expressing their emotions, but in contrast with the other user, he speaks from the opposite position where he decided not to bear the emotional burden of his partner.

5.1.3 Persistence of male stigmas

The third discourse that is embedded in r/MensLib is based on the persistence of a particular topic that is commonly underestimated and socially silenced when it relates to men: sexual assault. For instance, post #6 titles “I am a male victim of sexual assault attempting to find justice, but all I have faced are obstacles and hate” and it is the only post which does not include an external link to an article. This post is the testimony of a man who was sexually assaulted by a woman, who was a fellow student and employee at his university.

He argues that he has never been supported mainly because he is an older man and his attacker is female. Moreover, he was constantly stalked by his attacker and other friends that bullied him online, and even though various complaints were presented the university did not take their situation with the seriousness it requires. Faced by the lack of concern by the university in addressing his case, he decided to contact the Department of

Education Office of Civil Rights and filed a complaint. He believes the reason for the university’s reaction is due to the fact that they have been facing a series of issues which have been referred to in the local news. u/ztfreeman now suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and the university does not give him a chance to defend himself, and he finally claims: “my academic future is likely over for the crime of standing up to my attacker and standing up for myself in a climate that does not see men as victims”.

The top users’ comments were mainly given by a discussion between the Original Poster u/ztfreeman and u/middayfirework, who is highly supportive by expressing concern and suggesting to visit organizations that provide help for victims of sexual violence. Moreover, u/middayfirework also highly empathizes with him by sharing her experience as a female and victim of sexual assault.

Relevant comments:

“I’m so sorry. Have you at any point reported to police instead of the university? Have you got a victim advocate? RAINN.org can advise on that. I’m sure you are more familiar with resources for men than I am but I hear good things about 1in6.org too” (u/middayfirework)

(In response to previous post - extract): “I have over 3 police reports filed about this, and following one I was taken to an interrogation room and belittled by a detective before he dropped the matter in a way that I feel he was fishing for a reason to arrest me instead. It was mortifying and humiliating. Those organizations, while amazing, do not offer legal aid I need” (u/ztfreeman).

“Again, I’m sorry. My experience as a female survivor is similar. It’s part of why so very few sexual assaults reach court. And why so many of us give up reporting subsequent rapes. I was hoping a victim advocate that RAINN pointed you toward could tell you what is available in your area in way of practical support?” (u/middayfirework).

Similarly, post #4 titles “Prison Rape is Not a Punch Line” and it links to an article with the same name8 which discusses how prison rape has been underestimated in society, being generally related to jokes such as “don’t drop the soap”-because otherwise you will get raped. The article also mentions how prison rape is considered as a punishment by people who believe those convicted deserve it due to their crimes. Rape among

8 The article “Prison Rape is Not a Punch Line” can be read at www.bitchmedia.org/article/prison-rape-not-punchline.

50 inmates is not seriously considered by authorities and the big number of rape reports are ignored. Among the negative consequences, the article highlights that violent prison rapes increase racism and homophobia, as mostly of rapes occur among different racial inmates and some fear be assaulted by the stereotype of the “homosexual predator” and, even though the majority of men that rape other men are heterosexual, homophobes use this to label gay men as “dangerous sociopaths”.

Finally, the article discusses the different steps that should be made in order to avoid ignoring the big number of rape reports, while giving inmates the possibility to be protected by the law.

Relevant comments:

(Original Poster) “Human rights abuses within prisons are abundant, but the one violation that elicits the most retributive glee among civilians and law enforcement entities alike is that of prison rape. It's an issue that intersects with several topics within the gender equality spectrum--whether that be men's rights, men's liberation, feminism, etc. More specifically, it's one of the most examples of rape culture, wherein it's viewed as an acceptable punishment for a multitude of infractions and malfeasances and is even encouraged and expected among inmates and guards alike” (u/BreShark).

(Extract) “When it comes to men in jail, I think that behind these prison rape jokes/comments there is a current of homophobia and there is this idea that male victims are somehow emasculated for being raped by another man. Instead of the rape being treated seriously- they will laugh at him for "losing his man card". It's fucked up” (u/ShadowyKat).

Among the majority of users’ comments that mainly critique how the prison system treats rape cases in an informal and unfair manner, there are two particular comments that relate to the role of men in these situations. For instance, the Original Poster u/BreShark argues that prison rape is a clear reflection of how rape culture persists, while affecting both men and women and limiting the possibilities to achieve gender equality. Moreover, u/ShadowyKat adds how the male rape victim is still stigmatized as it is seen by society as a man who completely lost his dignity and masculinity because he was raped by another man.

5.1.4 Distant but close figures

The fourth discourse that r/MensLib promotes is based on the relevance of two particular contexts in which feminist masculinity is being shaped: the manosphere and U.S politics. Post #1 titles “The Kavanaugh hearing made Republican men more sexist and less likely to believe women who say they were assaulted” and is the one with the highest engagement with a score of 2.0k and with 234 comments. The post links to a 51

The Cut article9 which cites a report that discusses about the sexual harassment accusations against the Republican judge Brett Kavanaugh and the effect this caused in U.S. politics. Particularly, after these accusations, half of the voters claimed that the hearings helped them realize how underrepresented women are in the government, and due to this reason they were more likely to vote for Democrats. Moreover, this also generated that after this accusation, Republican men became “more sexist and less likely to believe women who say they were assaulted”, (and also believe) “sexism is exaggerated in our society” (Carmon, n.pag). However, a positive highlight of this situation is that after Kavanaugh’s accusations on sexual assault more Republican women become sceptical about men being good leaders.

This particular post demonstrates how an important political figure in the U.S. can negatively influence people’s minds in regards to topics that directly affect gender equality such as sexism, and underestimation of sexual assault and female victims’ testimonies. Moreover, this implies that the Republican party is perceived as a powerful obstacle that restricts the path to create policies in order to fight against gender inequality.

Relevant comments:

“ever since that day, seeing this guy's face makes my skin crawl. i was sickened but not surprised to find how many people made a conscious choice to not believe what is probably the most easy-to-believe account of entitled, rich-boy, private school fuckery ever plainly stated on the air” (u/cmdrAD).

In response to previous post:

“Dude shouldn’t have made it to the Supreme Court based on his legal rulings alone. He wants to erode our liberties and doesn’t care about the American people. On top of that he’s a total scumbag” (u/T_Brick_OG).

“Or, how about the fact that it is unbecoming of a Judge to cry, get angry, and obsessively talk of his love for beer during his job interview?” (u/OhThrowMeAway).

9 The article “How the Kavanaugh Hearings Changed American Men and Women” can be read at www.thecut.com/2019/04/new-study-reveals-how-kavanaugh-hearings-changed- americans.html.

(Quotes previous post) “it is unbecoming of a Judge to cry, get angry. This is a super hot take on r/menslib, a subreddit that at least pretends to be in favor of men being open with their feelings” (u/Hetzer).

(In response to previous post) “I don’t think the idea of the sub is to encourage men to cry during their job interviews” (u/MutantBurrito).

“Yeah, if anything, part of being a man is knowing when and where something is appropriate” (u/T_Brick_OG).

Users’ comments show rejection towards the political personality in question (Kavanaugh) but the discussion generated among the different comments are related to Kavanaugh’s emotional expressions in the public sphere. For instance, u/OhThrowMeAway believes it is unacceptable from a judge to be crying and showing anger during his job interview, to what u/Hetzer responds that these aspects should not be criticized as r/MensLib supports men showing their feelings. Even though this comment was downvoted by other users it still showed as one of the top ones due to its controversy and high number of responses. However, u/MutantBurrito and u/T_Brick_OG refute to the previous idea by stating that the subreddit promotes emotional expression only when necessary and well justified. Nevertheless, these two users’ comments also make reference to a male stereotype, particularly how politicians should behave in public.

Post #7 titles “How a support group for the dateless became one of the internet’s most dangerous subcultures” and links to a Vox article10 and it is based on an extensive story which explains the origin of the Incel culture in high detail. By introducing the Incel world through the story of a man self-identified as a Incel who killed 10 people in Canada in 2018, the article states how this online world -which was originally created as a support group for dating advice- encourages violence based on women hatred that leads to massive attacks and murders. Moreover, the author argues that it is “a dark reflection of a set of social values about women that is common, if not dominant, in broader Western society” (Beauchamp, n.pag). This is exemplified by referring to an Incel “Abe” (pseudonym) that became part of the community of r/BranIncels and r/ForeverAlone to express his frustration against his physical looks which he thinks are responsible for his bad luck with women. Finally, Incel’s violent actions are also discussed in terms of how

10 The article “Our incel problema” can be read at www.vox.com/the- highlight/2019/4/16/18287446/incel-definition-reddit.

53 the Western culture has limit women’s rights, which even though women have more freedom now, there are Incels that believe women should not have this freedom because this means that they will also have freedom to choose their sexual partners, which are not Incels.

This post indicates how relevant the Incel subculture is to r/MensLib’s community as it demonstrates their efforts to confirm how negative the manosphere is in order to validate their disassociation and opposition to it.

Relevant comments:

Original Poster: “This is mostly stuff we've gone over here before. One thing I think is worth highlighting is the idea that not all "support" groups are actually good. Everyone wants "support" in some nebulous way, and the internet can provide that to even the narrowest slice of people who find each other. But when these "support" groups are rooted in hate and fear, you end up with incels. "Support" means raising each other up. "Support" means being better. "Support" does not mean reinforcing everyone's worst tendencies” (u/ TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK).

In response to previous post:

“I thought that was a really important point. I know of various online forums centered around drug use that try to defend their tacit endorsement of junkie behavior by claiming to be "support groups" or "harm reduction" sites. This invariably comes up whenever they receive criticism in light of a death or self-harm incident. Despite the multitude of enabling threads, it isn't their fault, because the person in question simply didn't help themselves” (u/howmanyyalllikesex).

“And there are of course ‘pro-ana’ sites that promote eating disorders while masquerading as support groups” (u/Duppy06).

The majority of users’ comments do not refer explicitly to the Incel culture, but to how damaging support groups can become when they lose they purpose. However, the Original Poster u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK is the only one who mentions the words Incels after stating that if support groups result in the encouragement of hate and fear it leads to the creation of Incels, presenting them as highly negative for masculinity within the online culture.

5.2 #feministmen: a pro-women feminist space

#feministmen’s posts presented a variety in terms of the conceptualization of a feminist masculinity. In contrast to r/MensLib’s posts, #feministmen included a significantly less content oriented to a feminist masculinity, finding a strong discourse based on the re-appropriation of the concept of feminism from women’s perspective, favouring their position and prioritizing their participation over men. Moreover, there is also a discourse related to the struggle against racism and white privilege which demonstrated an interesting connection with feminism and masculinity.

5.2.1 Feminist men have gone

The first discourse that is highly promoted across Instagram posts relates to the concept of feminism as being re-attributed mainly to women, leaving men as a second priority who should support the feminist original claim. For instance, post #3 shows an image of a man standing in front of a sign with balloon letters that says “Straight men understand consent when they go to a gay bar” (Figure 8). This quote implies that straight men are not able to sympathize with women’s vulnerability until they experience by themselves a real sexual assault by a male offender who can make them feel vulnerable. Even though the creator of this post is @beafeministboy –from which it can be inferred that encourages men to adopt feminism into their lives- it results as a re-statement of the feminist claim but exclusively from the point of view of women.

Figure 8. @beafeministboy. “Straight Men Understand Consent When They Go to a Gay Bar”. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwyzvSgB23B/.

Relevant comments:

Figure 8.1. @beafeministboy. “Straight Men Understand Consent When They Go to a Gay Bar”. Users’ comments, Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwyzvSgB23B/.

In regards with users’ comments, the most popular ones with at least 5 likes tend to generalize men by stating that the image’s quote reflects how all men are

(@rivervalleygirl) and how straight men are not willing to interact with other masculinities (@dripping_sword) (Figure 8.1). Moreover, there is an interesting discussion that rose among two users. @lxtinacrave previously confirmed to @kylebakeretc that there is no other manner in which men can understand consent if it is not by going to a gay bar, to which @kylebakeretc disagreed and @lxtinacrave justified herself (assumed to be a woman) by saying she did not refer to all men. However, @kylebakeretc firmly defends his critique to generalization of men’s behaviour and arguing that her opinion does not support gender equality but discrimination towards men.

Post #2 that was also created by @beafeministboy and it also relates to how men should be aware of sexual assault and its relevance for women, where men should not glorify non-abusive behaviour as something special, but instead it should be normalized (Figure 9).

Figure 9. @beafeministboy. “This is How Normal People Behave”. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwH2Q-kFueU/.

However, user’s comments demonstrate disagreement this position, particularly from @m_fontana9 who interpretes this post as offensive towards men and that it encourages a “gender war” that leads to the creation of a “toxic environment” (Figure 9.1). Moreover, @hiddlestomas replies to his comment and reaffirms the quote’s point by comparing sexual abuse with murder. User @white_boy.joe shows support to @m_fontana9’s point

57 of view by stating that feminists demand for equal rights by affecting directly men’s rights, which consequently enhances gender inequality.

Relevant comments:

Figure 9.1. @beafeministboy. “This is How Normal People Behave”. Users’ Comments. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwH2Q-kFueU/.

The other posts that also seem to give more importance to women’s feminist point of view rather than from men’s position are posts #4 and #5 and were also uploaded by @beafeministboy. The first one shows a young boy holding a sign that says “Never too young to respect women” (Figure 10), which, even though it is closer to a feminist man’s principles, it implies that in order to be a feminist man you firstly –and maybe exclusively- have to be respectful to women.

Among their users’ comments there was a discussion between two users where @controversialbisexual believes the feminist ideology should not be imposed on children’s minds, which is refuted by @respecttheshirt who argues that feminism is used as means to achieve equality and fight against the ideology of patriarchy, which is again refuted by @controversialbisexual who believes feminism is not the only option to achieve gender equality (Figure 10.1). Moreover, @locker_door_the_first proposes to

58 teach women how to respect men instead, which does not reflect gender equality as it only favours men.

Figure 10. @beafeministboy. “Never Too Young To Respect Women”. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BxIlKT5BKlI/.

Relevant comments:

Figure 10.1. @beafeministboy. “Never Too Young To Respect Women”. Users’ Comments. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BxIlKT5BKlI/.

Post #5 shows an image of a plant and the quote is the most dominant element in the photo which states “Women’s rights are more important than men’s feelings” (Figure 11), which exclusively gives credit to women’s feminist movement in a more explicit manner, while highly underestimating and rejecting the relevance of men’s emotional vulnerability. This post did not present a further discussion as it was not commented by other users.

Figure 11. @beafeministboy. “Women’s Rights Are More Important Than Men’s Feelings”. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bwd1QHZBjoH/.

5.2.2 Underrepresentation of feminist men

Among the ten posts there were only two posts that were identified as more supportive of a feminist masculinity. Post #1 shows the image of the Bollywood actor with the phrase “Pankaj Tripathi has no qualms admitting he survived on wife’s salary” and its caption states “Not many men have the courage to admit that their wife is the primary bread-winner…How many dreams die everyday, because men have to choose living these stereotypes, over following their passion?” (Figure 12). The content of this post makes a clear reference to a man who adopted feminist values in order to fight

60 gender equality, and who is not humiliated by not fulfilling the traditional male role as a husband and house provider. This is the most engaged post with 14329 likes and 84 comments.

The most popular comment with 20 likes (@div_64) shows support to the actor’s attitude and sympathizes with the story by sharing her similar experience with her parents (Figure 12.1). Other users argue that due to traditional men stereotypes women cannot experience this gender role exchange (@soul_of_mavourneen), and because of this fact women have to give up their dreams and careers in order to fulfil society’s gender role expectations (@wandererinheaven) (Figure 12.1).

Figure 12. @shethepeopletv. “Feminist Men of Bollywood”. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwZbBwNgLmr/.

Relevant comments:

Figure 12.1. @shethepeopletv. “Feminist Men of Bollywood”. Users’ comments. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwZbBwNgLmr/.

Post #9 shows the image of a young boy in black and white with the quote “Thank a feminism if you’re a man and you can cry without being called weak” (Figure 13). This post relates explicitly to how a feminist masculinity allows men to be emotionally vulnerable. However, the only comment which has 5 likes highly disagrees in giving all the credit to feminists, where @upsgagun states “No just thank yourself and go, feminists got nothing to do with this” (Figure 13.1), which demonstrates that he supports being emotionally vulnerable, but that it should not be attributed to feminism.

Figure 13. “Thank A Feminist”. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwoaWGoHCq4.

Relevant comment:

Figure 13.1. “Thank A Feminist”. User comment. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/BwoaWGoHCq4.

5.2.3 Feminism connected to racism

The third discourse that was strongly promoted within #feministmen posts was the interesting connection between feminist women and the struggle against racism and white privilege, particularly within the U.S. context. This is the content that differed the most when compared to r/MensLib and the previously mentioned Instagram discourses. All of the posts that include this content were created by the same user @feminist.magazine.

For instance, post #6 –which is a repost from feminist activist @anothergirlcalledhenna- shows two people holding signs in which the one on the left states how white people get

63 arrested but the right states how black people are shot in the same situation (Figure 14). The most popular comment for this post negates what is written in the signs by treating it as a lie (@spamzz.avalove), while others show support, however there is not a further discussion among them (Figure 14.1).

Figure 14. @feminist.magazine. “White Privilege in Criminal Acts”. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bv7FilulqjP

Relevant comments:

Figure 14.1. @feminist.magazine. “White Privilege in Criminal Acts”. Users’ Comments. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bv7FilulqjP

Similarly, post #7 also claims for justice for black people, but the difference with the previous one is that a black woman is holding the sign, which illustrates a higher connection to feminism than the previous one (Figure 15). The most popular comments of this post intend to invalidate the image’s statement by arguing that white people are

64 equally affected by the American judicial system (@thegirlwholoved__) and by minimizing black people’s struggle by claiming they are a minority (@smoochie._.coochie)(Figure 15.1). However, @colonialismskateboards differs the previous comments by showing support but pessimism at the same time by arguing that every system that is based on colonialism will always favour one group of people (Figure 15.1).

Figure 15. @feminist.magazine. “Black Lives Do Not Matter In The Judicial System”. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bv9bleVlJIQ.

Relevant comments:

Figure 15.1. @feminist.magazine. “Black Lives Do Not Matter In The Judicial System”. Users’ Comments. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bv9bleVlJIQ.

Moreover, post #8 shows a Twitter post uploaded by Jesse Berner, an American writer, Democratic activist and Comedian. The image includes Berner’s post where he makes fun of another post which asks to mention non-racist historical figures, which he answers by naming relevant Afro-american figures who fought against slavery and human rights and in the end adding “oh you only meant white people, didn’t you?” (Figure 16). This post did not present a further discussion as it was not commented by other users.

Figure 16. @feminist.magazine. “Critique Against US Politicians’ Racist Behaviours” Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bv63PDJlG4j/.

Furthermore, post #10 shows the image of four Afro-american actresses from the movie Black Panther which includes a clear women empowerment statement directed to Afro- american women, where the caption ends with “the future is female; the future is African” (Figure 17). Users’ comments mainly express support to the black women empowerment message embedded in the image, however @itz_mathew__ comments “where is the men”, implying that this message can be validate it by attributing it to men (Figure 17.1). Moreover, as compared with the first two comments that had 0 likes, @itz_mathew__ comment had 2 likes, which shows more support to his opinion rather than to those users the black feminist claim.

Figure 17. @feminist.magazine. “Four Afro-American Actresses”. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bv9bkehlk7Y/.

Relevant comments:

Figure 17.1. @feminist.magazine. “Four Afro-American Actresses”. User’s Comments. Instagram, 20th May 2019, www.instagram.com/p/Bv9bkehlk7Y/.

All of these four posts are strongly charged with political content against racism, white privilege, Afro-american women empowerment, and a fair justice system, particularly from the U.S. However, only two of them (Figure 15 and 17) are more feminist-oriented, however what prevails among all is racism issues towards Afro-americans.

Due to the fact that the posts were created by the same user @feminist.magazine it can be understood as an effort from the user to promote an anti-racism and feminist claim and reach a wider audience through the use of multiple hashtags that are present in each image caption (See Figures 15,16,17, and 18).

Chapter 6: Discussion and conclusion

This thesis studied the portrayal of a hybrid type of masculinity rooted on feminist values on the digital platforms Reddit and Instagram, particularly in the communities r/MensLib and #feministmen. This section draws on the comparison of the presence and absence of certain voices and concepts embedded in both r/MensLib and #feministmen discourses’ promotion of a feminist masculinity. From the analysis of both platforms and their particular discourses it can be said that Reddit’s r/MensLib promotes a feminist masculinity which is based on the adoption of feminist values in order to build a positive masculinity that favours men. In contrast, it was found that Instagram’s #feministmen portrays a pro-women oriented content which, even though it seems to propose a space where hegemonic masculinity is questioned, this critique mainly favours the perspective of women.

In terms of platform vernaculars, r/MensLib is mainly characterized by a textual narrative that resembles a blog format that encourages users to initiate a discussion about any topic that concerns men issues from a feminist point of view. In the case of #feministmen Instagram demonstrates how it has appropriated the use of the hashtag as a grammar of communication-originally created for Twitter-, into their platform vernacular were users employ it to mark the relevance of the content related to feminist men (Gibbs et.al. 257). However, both cases present a semantic abundance which is expressed in the form of multimodal discourses where the user-generated textual and visual content promotes distinct and particular points of view regarding feminist men’s issues (Kaplan and Haenlein 63; Gillespie 349).

The discourses promoted on r/MensLib such as “Educating pluriform masculinities”, “Gender-neutralizing issues”, and “Persistence of male stigmas” are the ones that highly promote the relevance of education at home and school in order to resist the reproduction of hegemonic masculinity stereotypes. As stated by Connell, hegemonic masculinity refers to the constant practice of male domination over women, while preventing the rise of new alternative masculinities that are considered to threaten masculinity such as being emotionally vulnerable, passive, and physically weak (Connell; Kaufman; Spence & Helmreich). Moreover, Kimmel states that a pro-feminist man is capable of embracing the opportunity that feminism brings in order to improve his life and redefine his relationship with himself, other men, and women (“Who’s Afraid of Men Doing Feminism?” 62). Following Connell and Kimmel, within r/MensLib’s discourses hegemonic masculinity is questioned by criticizing how parents and society as a whole impose hegemonic gender behaviours on boys’ early psychological development,

69 limiting them to experience other possibilities of non-conforming gender behaviours. Moreover, the subreddit also makes a call for schools to teach emotional literacy as a means to achieve an alternative masculinity that is less judged so boys can avoid feeling ashamed of expressing their sadness, for instance. Furthermore, the high engagement of posts related to men suffering from eating disorders, sexual abuse, and emotional issues also indicate the strong presence of the struggle against hegemonic masculinity from the perspective of both victims and topic related professionals, two actors that are actively trying to make a change as expressed in their comments and external articles.

Moreover, through the discourse “Distant but close figures” r/MensLib intends to distance itself from the man as a sexual predator and from the manosphere culture. The first is exemplified by the most engaged post among the top ten that refers to the American Judge Kavanaugh that was accused for various sexual assaults. This denotes a significant rejection towards men’s domination over women, and also in terms of power abuse, particularly within a political context. Moreover, r/MensLib also seeks to disassociate itself from the manosphere by acknowledging its negative influence to masculinity and by confirming their disapproval to its existence. This is reflected on the post “How a support group for the dateless became one of the internet’s most dangerous subcultures” which criticizes the Incel culture by affirming how violent can members of the Incel subculture become. This is especially directed to those who express their hate in Reddit and could become potential murders as the case of the self-identified Incel Elliott Rodger’s who killed six people as revenge towards the constant sexual rejection by women (Zurcher). This critique is present among users’ comments that show rejection to the unjustified radicalization and violence often promoted by the Incel subculture which has been negatively enhanced by the creation of digital platforms that enable the development of these radical online spaces (Lefkovitz). Reddit actively criticizes both sexual assault cases such as Kavanaugh and the manosphere in order to reaffirm them as their opponents. However, these figures occupy a relevant role within r/MensLib’s world as they become an obstacle to their values but also an incentive to reinforce their proposal of a feminist masculinity as a means to abolish sexism.

Within the voice of hegemonic masculinity in r/MensLib there is also a constant questioning of heteronormativity where in several posts the content and users comments express support towards educating boys under non heteronormativity standards. This is reflected on certain posts that discuss, for instance, the admission of transgender students at school, rising boys under non-conformity gender standards at home, and also through the comments of trans users who share their opinion in regards to the negative consequences of bearing the burden of their partners’ emotional issues. This

70 can relate to the prevalence of the influence of the Gay Liberation movement which allowed to understand masculinity no longer as an exclusive heterosexual interaction but as a space where different types of masculinities can coexist and shape each other (Hansen and Garey).

In the case of Instagram, hegemonic masculinity is also embedded across the content found in #feministmen. For instance, its discourses “Feminist men have gone” discusses topics such as sexual consent and emotional vulnerability, but in contrast with r/MensLib it is more focused on the perspective of women, and the male figure is mainly negatively portrayed by generalizing straight men behaviour and by underestimating their need for emotional expression. An example of this is a post that literally states “women’s rights are more important than men’s feelings” (See Figure 11). Moreover, boy’s education is also considered but in contrast to r/MensLib that mentions teaching emotional literacy to boys and non-conforming gender behaviours, #feministmen again directs the attention to women, which can be seen in a post that shows a young boy with a sign that says “Never too young to respect women” (See Figure 10). The type of masculinity that adopts feminist values to build an alternative masculinity as portrayed on r/MensLib is a minority in #feministmen, where in the discourse “Underrepresentation of femnist men” there is only two posts that use feminism to fight against the bread-winner stereotype by being economically supported by his wife and by encouraging boys to not feel weak because they cry, but this is mainly possible because feminism made it possible (See Figures 12 and 13).

The fight against hegemonic masculinity is also manifested through the interesting relation of racism and feminism within the #feministmen’s discourse “Feminism connected to racism”, where its posts highly criticize hegemony. However, this discourse refers to hegemony but from the perspective of white privilege over black people, as this group has been historically oppressed, especially by the American society. For instance, even though the hashtag words include “feminist” and “men” four posts include a critique towards racism and two include four black women as part of a black feminist empowerment manifesto (See Figures 15 and 17). This can be related to what Gardiner refers to how some black feminist women support black men in their fight against white privilege by acknowledging how hegemonic masculinity not only discriminates by gender but also by race (“Masculinity studies and feminist theory 35). Under this light, #feministmen can be understood as a more open discussion space where any user can freely post any type of content that will automatically appear under #feministmen as long as they include the hashtag in their post, even though it might not have a close relation to men who practice a different type of masculinity based on feminist values. In contrast,

71 r/MensLib is understood as a more controlled community with its own rules which it has moderators that are constantly filtering the content uploaded by other users in order to maintain a thematic consistency throughout their posts.

The voice of hegemonic masculinity as a negative influence to masculinity present in both platforms resonates with Demetriou’s concept of hybridization as a space that adopts different elements of masculinity and re-defines them in order to bring new notions of the meaning of masculinity (351). This can be applied to Reddit’s case as it incorporates aspects such as emotional vulnerability, the discouragement of gender role stereotypes when rising boys, and acknowledging common stigmas that persist to affect men, such as sexual assault, eating disorders, and psychological and emotional issues. Moreover, users support these topics by discussing how to include these practices in their lives and sharing their personal experiences from the point of view of a teacher, husband, friend, transgender men, and also of a woman. The acknowledgement of these stigmas that r/MensLib users claim to continue affecting them resonates Kaufman’s understanding of the significant damage that hegemonic masculinity has generated on men, who have been hiding their emotional issues causing tremendous pain, fear and toxic habits, which could potentially contribute to a bigger manosphere (66).

Instagram’s #feministmen also seems to promote this hybridization of masculinity by encouraging feminist behaviours. However, it can be interpreted as an illusion as it does so by reattributing feminism to women and mostly suppressing the position of men and favouring women. Demetriou states that even though this can be understood as an effort that seems to be challenging hegemonic masculinity through the proposal of alternatives it should not be interpreted as an elimination of patriarchy, as these variations can be contradictory and enable the reproduction of patriarchy (355). For instance, Instagram’ posts seem to encourage a hybrid masculinity as it promotes feminist to be a positive practice for men, but in contrast to Reddit- which proposes a male feminist perspective- , the captions and images of #feministmen favour a female perspective and do not consider men as active participants that can contribute to achieve a positive masculinity by also adopting feminist values. Therefore, this can be understood as an illusory endeavour to suppress hegemonic masculinity which results in a contradiction as it reaffirms the existence of men as sexual predators, generalizing straight men’s behaviour on sexual consent matters, and stating that women’s rights are more relevant than men’s struggle for becoming more emotionally vulnerable. Consequently, this can potentially encourage gender inequality as it reinforces the difference between men and women by giving priority to women as the gender that should receive more attention within this discussion while categorizing all men as the responsible for their oppression. This can

72 be related to the significant influence of the second feminist wave during the 70’s where, even though its purpose was to fight against male dominance and oppression, it also provoked the generalization of all men as being active participants of the patriarchy with no degree variations among them, which led to accentuate gender differences (Carrigan, Connell and Lee).

Moreover, this generalization and also combined with the Gay Liberation restricted the representation of other type of men that did not belong to the hegemonic type leading to the creation of tension among different groups of men that were not white, middle-high class, straight, strong, or economic providers (Gardiner “Masculinity studies and feminist theory”; Hacker). This is understood as Demetriou’s concept of internal hegemony and it can be reflected in the discussion that rose among Instagram users where some did not sympathize with the concept of giving feminism all the credit for making male issues more tolerable and accessible to discuss among them. For instance, users showed a high disagreement to #feministmen posts that asked men to thank feminism for allowing them to be emotionally vulnerable (See Figure 13.1). Others felt insulted by the generalization of straight men as not being able to understand sexual consent (See Figure 8.1), others disagree with prioritizing women on gender equality matters as it encourages a higher inequality (See Figures 9.1 and 10.1), and others did not support the anti-racism content in some posts (See Figures 14.1, 15.1 and 17.1). This demonstrates an internal hegemony among Instagram users that do not feel entirely related to the type of masculinity that is being promoted across the space of #feministmen. Additionally, the posts found in #feministmen are illustrated with a similar format as the posts found in the manosphere-related hashtags such as #redpill and #mgtow, where images combined with textual quotes. As stated by Pearce et.al., the use of both elements allows a multimodal approach which enhances the creation of meaning found within the platform (6).

There is a similarity in both platforms in regards to the explicit expression of critiques. For instance, one of #mgtow posts denigrates women by implying that they only approach a man who is successful (See Figure 4), while others generalize women in a negative manner (See Figure 2) and imply that men are equally victims as women (Figure 3). This logic is followed by posts that were previously mentioned that also explicitly generalize men (See Figure 8.1) and that prioritizes one sex and does not recognize the opposite as an important part of the gender equality discussion (See Figures 9.1 and 10.1). However, even though the logic can be analysed as similar, the manosphere related hashtags use a highly distinct aggressive and pejorative language against the opposite sex even though both use the same Instagram vernacular.

Furthermore, Reddit and Instagram users have demonstrated to use the platforms in order to build a particular online identity, which is related to what Kendall argues as an opportunity embraced by individuals who feel attracted to the possibility of performing different identities online that they cannot do offline (8-10). From Suler’s concept of online disinhibition effect which refers to how individuals express themselves online in a benign (positive) or toxic (negative) manner (321), it can be said that r/MensLib’s posts indicate a more benign type as it allows members to engage in a positive discussion that uses a feminist point of view to address male related issues. In contrast, #feministmen can be related to a more toxic type as the users mostly engage in a negative discussion to particular content that is constantly telling men that in order to be a feminist they must favour women. In relation to the role of the manosphere within r/MensLib and #feministmen, the presence of this concept is considered significant to some extent within r/MensLib as there is a discussion about this topic within its top posts. However, this discussion is present in only one post, while the others cover other male related issues but do not explicitly refer to the manosphere or to its subcultures. Therefore, r/MensLib intends to distance itself from the manosphere by acknowledging its existence and negative influence, but does not become determinant of its agenda.

The creation of scales to measure masculinity as the ones studied by Thompson, Pleck and Ferrera such as the Macho Man, Brannon Masculinity Scale and Traditional- Liberated Content Scale are based on a rigid and limited notion of how men should exercise masculinity (580-588). However, the study of both r/MensLib and #feministmen enabled the analysis of a wider range of masculinity which, even though it is studied through a feminist perspective, promotes an alternative masculinity that does not impose a particular script of how men should be. Therefore, the measurement of a man’s self- worth and reaffirmation of identity are not determined based on pre-established parameters of masculinity, which results in a positive effort to diminish the social pressure exercised over them (Kaufman).

As the interaction of masculinity and digital media has been mainly studied under the scope of heteronormativity and hegemonic masculinity persistence (Light; Campbell), this thesis examined the portrayal of an alternative masculinity on Reddit and Instagram that adopts feminist principles as means to abolish traditional male stereotypes. This thesis studied the portrayal of a feminist masculinity based on the presence of voices such as hegemonic masculinity, hybridization of masculinity, and feminism embedded in the different discourses promoted on Reddit and Instagram, where the former supports the construction of a new type of masculinity based on feminist values whereas the latter encourages men to adopt feminist behaviours by favouring women. Further research

74 could examine the presence of a feminist masculinity in different and heterogeneous spaces that are not confined to a particular community that promotes a feminist masculinity discourse as the ones found in r/MensLib and #feministmen. For instance, it would be interesting to examine how other subreddits and hashtags such as #theredpill on Instagram and r/MGTOW on Reddit encourage variations of the feminist masculinity discourse and whether these narratives favor the perspective of a particular gender.

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“What Do We Mean When We Say /r/MensLib Is ‘pro-Feminist’?” Reddit, www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/wiki/meta/profeminist.

“What Is a Moderator?” Reddit Help, Reddit, 3 July 2017, www.reddithelp.com/en/categories/reddit-101/moderators/what-moderator.

“What Is the Manosphere?” The Economist, 5 July 2016.

Woolf, Nicky. “'PUAhate' and 'ForeverAlone': inside Elliot Rodger's Online Life.” The Guardian, 30 May 2014.

Zurcher, Anthony. “Are 'Pick-up Artists' to Blame for Isla Vista Shooting?” BBC News, BBC, 27 May 2014, www.bbc.com/news/blogs-echochambers-27553254.

“#Masculinitysofragile Hashtag on Twitter.” Twitter, Twitter, 14 Apr. 2019, www.twitter.com/hashtag/masculinitysofragile

“#MeToo and Men.” GQ, www.gq.com/about/metoo-and-men.

JesusTheThird3. “Just Ignore Her For a While”. Reddit, 16 April 2019, www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/bdhbjx/just_ignore_her_for_a_while/. Accessed 16 April 2019.

RPSilverfox. “Just Ignore Her For a While”. Reddit, 15 April 2019, www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/bdhbjx/just_ignore_her_for_a_while/. Accessed 16 April 2019. u/BandB101. “One you know will attack you the other you can tape it’s mouth shut successfully and pet lmao”. Reddit, 17 April 2019, www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/be2bsi/one_you_know_will_attack_you_the_oth er_you_can/. Accessed 17 April 2019. u/BreShark. “MensLib's Official Position on the Men's Rights Movement, Feminism, and Other Related Topics.” Reddit, 20 Aug. 2018, www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/93oyty/menslibs_official_position_on_the_mens _rights/. Accessed 8 May 2019. u/EstarriolStormhawk. “MensLib's Official Position on the Men's Rights Movement, Feminism, and Other Related Topics.” Reddit, 20 Aug. 2018, www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/93oyty/menslibs_official_position_on_the_mens _rights/. Accessed 8 May 2019. u/Macaroni_Pancake. “MensLib's Official Position on the Men's Rights Movement, Feminism, and Other Related Topics.” Reddit, 20 Aug. 2018, www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/93oyty/menslibs_official_position_on_the_mens _rights/. Accessed 8 May 2019. u/afrocold. “MensLib's Official Position on the Men's Rights Movement, Feminism, and Other Related Topics.” Reddit, 20 Aug. 2018, www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/93oyty/menslibs_official_position_on_the_mens _rights/. Accessed 8 May 2019. u/scrambleggsanwafflz. “Women”. Reddit, 17 April 2019, www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/be0rju/women/. Accessed 17 April 2019. u/YeastBeast33. “Wow”. Reddit, 17 April 2019, www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/bdxcvs/wow/. Accessed 17 April 2019.

KeffirLime. “Just Ignore Her For a While”. Reddit, 15 April 2019, www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/bdhbjx/just_ignore_her_for_a_while/. Accessed 16 April 2019.

Appendix I

Top ten most engaged posts of r/MensLib for April 2019.

Post #1

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bebg7m/the_kavanaugh_hearing_made_republi can_men_more/.

Title “The Kavanaugh hearing made Republican men more sexist and less likely to believe women who say they were assaulted”.

Created by u/needyspace

Date of creation 17 April 2019

Score 2.0k

Number of 234 comments

Type of post Link to a The Cut article written by Irin Carmon. Link to article: https://www.thecut.com/2019/04/new-study-reveals-how- kavanaugh-hearings-changed-americans.html

Main aspects  The post does not include text, only an external link to discussed an article titled “How the Kavanaugh Hearings Changed American Men and Women” found in The Cut uploaded in April 2019.  The article mainly discusses about the sexual harassment accusations against the Republican judge Brett Kavanaugh and the effect this caused in American politics. Particularly, after hearing these accusations, “50 percent of voters said the hearings made them think about how underrepresented women are in government, and were twice as likely to vote for Democrats as a result”.  Moreover, this also generated that after this accusation, a study indicated that Republican men became “more

sexist and less likely to believe women who say they were assaulted… (and also believe) sexism is exaggerated in our society”.  This demonstrates how an important political figure in the U.S. can negatively influence people’s minds and underestimate sexism, sexual assault and female victims’ testimonies.  Before this event, half of Republican men agreed that “most women interpret innocent remarks or acts as being sexist.” And after the event this number increased to 68%. Also, less Republican men believe sexism is an actual problem in society.  Positive aspect: After Kavanaugh’s accusations on sexual assault more Republican women become sceptical about men being good leaders. Top 6 Comments

In response to previous post:

“Or, how about the fact that it is unbecoming of a Judge to cry, get angry, and obsessively talk of his love for beer during his job interview?” (u/OhThrowMeAway).

“it is unbecoming of a Judge to cry, get angry.

This is a super hot take on r/menslib, a subreddit that at least pretends to be in favor of men being open with their feelings” (u/Hetzer).

“I don’t think the idea of the sub is to encourage men to cry during their job interviews” (u/MutantBurrito).

“Yeah, if anything, part of being a man is knowing when and where something is appropriate” (u/T_Brick_OG).

Post #2

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bh8myq/study_finds_parents_are_more_likely_t o_correct/.

Title “Study Finds Parents Are More Likely to Correct Gender Non-Conforming Behavior in Boys than in Girls” Created by u/Paradoxataur42 Date of creation 25 April 2019 Score 2.0k

Number of comments 257 Type of post Link to a PsyPost.org study11. Main aspects discussed The post does not include text, only the title of a 2018 research report with an external link to the same report available on the American Psychological Association website.

This report studied how non-conforming behaviours in relation to their sex influenced their parent’s reactions towards these behaviours, which is considered to be highly relevant for the child’s development. The study was based on an online survey that was made to 236 parents where they answered questions regarding frequency of their child having these type of behaviours, their parenting dynamics, and efforts to change the child’s behaviour, among others. Results indicated that parents tend to feel more uncomfortable

11 PsyPost is a psychology website that offers news and research regarding “human behaviour, cognition and society”. See complete article at https://www.psypost.org/2019/04/parents-more- uncomfortable-with-gender-nonconforming-behaviors-in-boys-study-finds-53540.

when their son was having non-conforming attitudes, but less uncomfortable when they employed more traditional gender role behaviours. This point was highlighted by the authors as “boys’ gender nonconformity was negatively associated with parent efforts to change behaviours” (Spivey, Huebner and Diamond n.pag).

Top 6 Comments (Extracted from original post)

“I really hope this gets a larger study eventually because these results confirm a lot of observations we've had on this sub and I've had in my personal life” (u/anhedonious_rex)

“She’s just a tomboy, it’s a phase. What is he, gay or something?” (u/lookayoyo).

“Because being more "masculine" is allowed, but being less "masculine" is not” (u/N64Overclocked).

“This is a big reason feminism is so important for men. If femininity was as accepted as masculinity, than men will be more able to express themselves how they want. Win for men” (u/jaman4dbz).

“That would be nice. I can't count how many times I was made fun of as a kid for choosing a "feminine" instrument in band” (u/N64Overclocked).

“Similarly, I wanted to play drums so bad and was forced to play flute instead because girl” (u/SlowFoodCannibal).

Post #3

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bgwq9c/teacher_we_must_teach_emotional_liter acy_to_boys/.

Title “Teacher: We must teach emotional literacy to boys. Here’s what happened when I tried”. Created by u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK Date of creation 24 April 2019

Score 1.4k Number of comments 137 Type of post Link to a Washington Post article that cites a research report made by Plan International12. Main aspects discussed The post does not include text, only the title of a 2018 Washington post article which cites a survey report made by Plan International.

The news article makes reference to the Plan International survey report called “The State of Gender Equality for U.S. Adolescents”, and it explains how this survey demonstrated that teenage boys between 10 and 19 years old “still feel as if they are bound to project stereotypical male behaviors, even if they don’t want to” (Strauss n.pag). Therefore, the article’s author proposes to teach emotional literacy so that boys would avoid feeling bad whenever they want to show their feelings, for instance, by crying, and highlights the need of including at school a combination of academic, social and emotional learning.

Top 6 comments (Extracted from original post)

Original Poster:

In response to the previous post:

12 Plan International is an independent and humanitarian organization which works on developing children’s rights and equality for girls. See complete article at: https://www.planusa.org/docs/state-of-gender-equality-summary-2018.pdf 92

“THISSSS!!!! I am a black man built like a house and if I ever showed any emotion growing up that wasn’t masked as anger/rage I was told to be a man. By the same fucking people telling me I need to open up more and that I’m intimidating because I’m quiet” (u/slam9h).

“I have opened up and broken down in front of two women that I’ve been in relationships with... my wife, plus a 3-year girlfriend in college. Both would consider themselves progressive and feminists. Both of them had a reaction that was somewhere between nervousness (is he cracking up?) and revulsion (as if I had just pissed on the floor or something. Both admitted later on that they know in their heads that it’s okay for men to cry and be vulnerable... they just don’t like to see it, and it certainly isn’t attractive. Well, fuck that, I’ve learned my lesson. I don’t cry in front of my wife any more. This is extra frustrating in her case... because I used to have a bit of a temper and, while never violent or abusive towards her, I would sometimes go out in the garage and kick something or throw something or punch something (why oh why does it feel so good to just break something sometimes???)... but she said that “scared her.” This REALLY bothered me, because it’s not like I ever would (or have) directed this toward her. But I worked on it and tried to be more sensitive and open up... and geez did that ever backfire. It’s sad, but the only people I will really be vulnerable around are a couple of gay pals of mine. They’re the only ones who don’t seem to care that a grown-ass man is upset and maybe even crying” (u/jobobicus).

“Not only do men have to be taught emotional intelligence - so do women. Just because someone is born a woman doesn't mean that they are automatically emotionally intelligent. If more people were aware, emotions became gender neutral, and everyone got used to everyone being able to express their feelings, then maybe we'd have more progress. Right now its a slow crawl to gender neutral emotions but that doesn't mean we should stop trying. I hope you are able to have a conversation with your wife and let her know exactly what you are thinking so you can work together to both be more emotionally intelligent together” (u/canyouseethedark).

“As a woman who has to deal with the other side of the gendered expectations for emotional intelligence I really appreciate this comment. I am not good at handling the emotions of others (regardless of gender). If someone over the age of 13 starts crying near me I get deeply uncomfortable regardless of their gender because I just don't have that whole intuitive understanding of other people's emotions and what to do around them. To be clear, I am generally able to recognize when and why a person is upset but

I can't emphasize with them in the way women are expected to emphasize. Gendered expectations suck” (u/rutabaga5).

“I have found that men and women are mostly blind to the emotional issues of the other gender. Women have made a lot of progress raising their issues, but are still unaware of men's issues because they have never experienced them. In the same way as a man, I never experienced women's issues at all until I was one. Communication and understanding is key (or everyone switches genders to experience both sides??)” (u/bro_before_ho).

Post #4

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bnf2ou/prison_rape_is_not_a_punch_line/

Title “Prison Rape is Not a Punch Line”. Created by u/BreShark Date of creation 11 May 2019 Score 1.8k Number of comments 62

Type of post Link to a Bitch Media article written by Mirah Curzer, who is a writer, lawyer, and photographer. Link: https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/prison-rape-not- punchline Main aspects discussed The article discusses about how prison rape has been unestimated in society, which is mainly related to jokes such as “don’t drop the soap” because otherwise you will get raped. Prison rape is also considered as a punishment, and it highlights how “lightly the justice system takes rape of people in prison”. The consequences of this are negative to society as prisoners with such trauma are not able to be reinserted into society in a healthy and productive manner. Prison rape is also considered to increase racism and homophobia as a result of violent rapes, as mostly of rapes occur among different racial inmates and some fear the stereotype of the “homosexual predator”, which even though the majority of men that rape other men

are heterosexual, homophobes use this to label gay men as “dangerous sociopaths”. Finally, the article discusses the different steps that should be made in order to avoid ignoring the big number of rape reports, while giving inmates the possibility to be protected by the law.

Top 6 comments (Extracted from original post)

“To people who want prison to be a punishment, rather than a tool to rehabilitate criminals and prepare them to re-enter society, any violence and abuse that prisoners are subjected to, either by COs or inmates, is just a bonus. I wonder why the recidivism rate in the US is so high?” (u/RiggensBros)

“Agreed. We treat prisoners as a business and somehow everyone is okay with it!” (u/RockinSocksII)

“Not everyone is okay with it. Most people just don't think about it. And a few people get fabulously wealthy of it, giving them the power to maintain it. It's this weird American thing where some weird principle, wether it's "criminals are lesser human beings" or "the second amendment is fine as long as murder is illegal" gets in the way of pragmatic solutions” (u/Lawant).

“Prison as punishment essentially either becomes prison as enslavement or prison as maintenance of ostracization. Or both. Essentially the prison system keeps people enslaved, reducing the chance of ever rehabilitating and maintaining the source of profits for both states (utilizing prison labor as profit) and corporations (who buy and sell prisoners as stock)” (u/tragedian)

“(I'm a woman and here's my 2 cents).

It's possible that people is use prison rape as a punch line or people think prison rape is not a big deal is the combination of rape culture and the terrible idea that prisoners forfeit human rights by getting arrested. People act like convicts don't matter. People think that rape is either something that the people in jail have coming or they think that it's not a big deal.

When it comes to men in jail, I think that behind these prison rape jokes/comments there is a current of homophobia and there is this idea that male victims are somehow emasculated for being raped by another man. Instead of the rape being treated seriously- they will laugh at him for "losing his man card". It's fucked up” (u/ShadowyKat).

Post #5

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bcwxzh/morehouse_college_the_nations_only_a llmale/

Title “Morehouse College, the Nation's Only All-Male Historically Black College, Will Start Admitting Transgender Men Next Year” Created by u/BreShark Date of creation 14th April 2019 Score 1.3k Number of comments 46 Type of post Link to a Time’s article found in http://time.com/5570094/morehouse-college-admit- transgender-men/ but the link is apparently broken, so I looked for the same article in CNN and used the content found in the following: https://edition.cnn.com/2019/04/13/us/morehouse- college-transgender-policy/index.html Main aspects discussed The article discusses about Morehouse College, a “historically black all-men’s” school in Atlanta that will start admitting transgender students who identify as men in 2020. This is after the creation of the new policy “Gender Identity Admissions and Matriculation Policy”, which will be applied to every private schools.

Morehouse’s president David Thomas said “Today's vote to reaffirm our dedication to educating and developing men, including trans men, is an important step into one of the new frontiers of social justice — gender identity”. However, as it is a male’s school it will only admit individuals that self-identify as men, therefore, it will not admit men that are in transition to become a woman. Moreover, some students are not entirely happy with this policy as it is “exclusionary of trans women or gender non-conforming and non-binary students”.

Top 6 comments (Extracted from original post)

(Quoting original article) “I can imagine there may be people who would say, ‘Why would you even raise this?’ I say to those people we live in an era now where silence on these issues is actually not helpful. For us, as a school for men, it’s important for us to set clear expectations about what that means. That’s what we’re trying to do with this policy.

Good on Morehouse for taking the initiative of addressing anti-LGBT sentiments while making a policy decision that will prove to be extremely affirming to black transgender men, who don't receive a lot of attention when discussing these issues” (u/BreShark).

“Yes! I’ve definitely seen comments about other schools announcing their policies that were like “trans people were always allowed there, why bother announcing it now?” This is a great response. It shouldn’t have to be a secret, this tells trans people who do go to that school that they can be out and proud there” (u/mandyrooba)

“Wow, this is awesome. Morehouse is a great school and this will make it even stronger” (u/SlowFoodCannibal)

(in response to the previous post) “I think it’s related a bit to the tendency for black men to have all male schools even at a young age to focus on the issues that effect primarily

97 men and black men at that with regard to educational progress. I’m not certain if it’s useful in college but that is what I’ve heard. There is a podcast called CodeSwitch that referenced this and followed the history of such a school in the DC area, pretty interesting listen. But I agree, I’m curious as to whether or not it makes the environment more toxic, idk... I can see the positives and the negatives” (u/sa5m_i_am).

“If it was white, all-male, I'd be more concerned because that's what originally colleges were. But most colleges like this rose up to target certain demographics original colleges would have denied access too. Helping them over come the status quo. More common are all-female (eg. Wellesley). In this case, black men.

While colleges try to be both progressive and inclusive, you are correct in the negative effects of gender segregation, and there are side effects of being historically one-gender. The first concern of female students would be safety. Second concern, trying to convince women to come there, over other schools. So it's unfortunate, but not strange to me Morehouse hasn't decided to become co-ed.

Per your second question: No, transwomen are not able to graduate if they begin transitioning after they enter the school. :( “ (u/domianCreis).

Post #6

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bd67n4/i_am_a_male_victim_of_sexual_assault _attempting/

Title “I am a male victim of sexual assault attempting to find justice, but all I have faced are obstacles and hate”. Created by u/ztfreeman Date of creation 14th April 2019 Score 1.2k Number of comments 86 Type of post Sexual assault victim seeking for help and support. Main aspects discussed This post is a testimony of a man who was sexually assaulted by a woman, who was a fellow student and employee at his same university.

Its starts with the following quote: “I have posted a lot about my ongoing situation on Reddit, but as my situation continues go on and I face injustice after injustice, I have to speak out about what is happening”. He argues that he has not been supported from the beginning, mainly because he is an older man and his attacker is female. Moreover, the constant stalking from his attacker led to be “illegally coerced” out of his apartment as she entered his place without permission in front of a cloth plain policeman. After the constant online and physical stalking from his attacker and other classmates, he presented various complaints, and the university administrators said that “because I was an older man that they had no responsibility to my safety, ridiculed, and threatened”. Faced by the lack of concern by the university in addressing his case, he decided to contact the Department of Education Office of Civil Rights and filed a complaint. He believes the reason for the university’s reaction is due to the fact that they have been facing a series of problems the last period of time, for instance, food issues that led them to appear in the local news. Moreover, apparently his attacker unofficially received the information about his complaint, and she immediately presented a retaliation, which is supposed to be strictly forbidden within Title IX regulations. He now suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and the university claims that the deadline for submitting more evidence in his defence is over, while it has “tacitly threatened to find me guilty in absentia”. He finally claims: “my academic future is likely over for the crime of standing up to my attacker and standing up for myself in a climate that does not see men as victims”.

Top 3 comments (Extracted from original post)

“I have over 3 police reports filed about this, and following one I was taken to an interrogation room and belittled by a detective before he dropped the matter in a way that I feel he was fishing for a reason to arrest me instead. It was mortifying and humiliating. Those organizations, while amazing, do not offer legal aid I need. However, I am looking for any avenue to shed light on the situation so it won't happen again. As such I did attempt to attempt to arrange for 1in6.org to come speak at the university, but that was blocked very early on in the process by both students and administration” (u/ztfreeman).

Post #7

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bgj97c/how_a_support_group_for_the_dateless_ became_one/.

Title “How a support group for the dateless became one of the internet’s most dangerous subcultures”. Created by u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK Date of creation 23 April 2019 Score 1.1k Number of comments 243 Type of post Link to a Vox article written by Vox journalist Zack Beauchamp. Link to article https://www.vox.com/the- highlight/2019/4/16/18287446/incel-definition-reddit. Main aspects discussed This is an extensive article which explains the origin of the Incels subculture in high detail.

100

 Introduces the Incel culture by describing how violence is highly related to this subculture, making reference to a self-described incel who killed 10 people in Canada in 2018.  It describes that its creation is a clear reflection of what is happening in the offline world: “Yet incels are not merely an isolated subculture, disconnected from the outside world. They are a dark reflection of a set of social values about women that is common, if not dominant, in broader Western society.”  Tells the personal story of “Abe” (pseudonym) and how he became part of the Incel community, especially in r/BranIncels and r/ForeverAlone, to express his frustration against his physical looks which he thinks are the responsible for his bad luck with women.  Through different stories the journalist tries to explain the psychological profile of an Incel, by explaining how it is shaped within a toxic online space that hates women and how this leads to massive attacks and murders. Moreover, Incel’s violent actions are also discussed in terms of how the Western culture has limit women’s rights, which even though women have more freedom now, there are Incels that believe women should not have this freedom because this means that they will also have freedom to choose their sexual partners, which are not Incels. Top 6 comments (Extracted from original post)

101

"Support" means being better. "Support" does not mean reinforcing everyone's worst tendencies” (u/ TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK).

In response to previous post:

“And there are of course ‘pro-ana’ sites that promote eating disorders while masquerading as support groups” (u/Duppy06).

“to bring a tangental, yet related point, the 12 step program for alcoholics is a not-so- well-hidden recruitment into various Abrahamic cults” (u/Fifteen_inches).

“Is there a source on this? I've seen some people make the argument that some 12-step groups have cult-like dynamics, but not that 12-step or AA as a whole was a cult recruitment grounds. Also, I've heard mostly good things about 12-step/AA from people who know cults well and would certainly be at least critical if they'd seen anything resembling cult dynamics, so I'm a bit surprised by this. Edit: okay, yeah, after reading a little more on this, AA definitely is religious, and definitely has cult aspects. Please excuse my previous uninformednesss. That being said, even though AA is a cult, I still don't see how it can be considered a recruitment tool for other cults” (u/G0ldunDrak0n).

“It's unbelievably cult like and it requires you to believe in a "higher power" right off the bat. You have to turn yourself over to him and AA 100% to get better. You get zero opinions on how to get better, you do it there way or don't join. Talk to a AA lifer...its like talking to a side walk preacher sometimes. Some of the most closed minded people I've ever met were at AA meetings. NA is a bit better. Same dynamics but the people are more open and chill. I've had AA meetings that required me to lie about having taken drugs because they are ALCOHOL only. It gets weird” (u/Chin-Balls).

Post #8

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bj6evq/underdiagnosed_male_eating_disorders_ are_becoming/

102

Title “Underdiagnosed Male Eating Disorders Are Becoming Increasingly Identified” Created by u/BreShark Date of creation 30th April 2019 Score 1.0k Number of 104 comments Type of post Link to a National Public Radio article. Link to article: https://www.npr.org/2019/03/02/699733879/underdiagnosed- male-eating-disorders-are-becoming-increasingly-identified Main aspects  The article introduces the story of hockey player Logan discussed Davis who developed an eating disorder as he wanted to impress his couches by having an optimal physical condition in order to have his “started goalie” position back, which was replaced by a new player.  The article refers to a National Eating Disorders Association survey that indicated that eating disorders among men are more common than expected, that is 1 in 3 people with this type of disorder is male.  Journalist remarks that “Many men may not realize or admit they have an eating disorder…since it's usually thought of as a female problem”, adding that there is also a lack of online information directed to men about this disorder, which leads men to believe that is not an issue they can possibly have.  The athlete culture celebrates weights loss, instead of treating it as a potential health problem. Also, society sees loss weight among athletes as strength and higher investment in the discipline to become better.  In the second half of the article other similar stories can be found in order to make aware how detrimental can eating disorders become if they are not properly treated. Top 6 comments (Extracted from original post)

103

“Like the Twitter CEO who claims to eat a single meal a day of a lean meat and green vegetables and often fasts for days on end.

(quotes original Twitter post)

This sounds so bizarre. For real?” (u/andyoulostme)

“Reminder that Steve Jobs was a self-proclaimed "fruititarian", and chose to try and self- treat his eminently-treatable pancreatic cancer with that diet instead of seeking actual medical treatment until he was essentially on his deathbed. Remember, just because someone is an expert in one thing, that doesn't mean they know anything about anything else” (u/Charyou-Tree)

“The Steve Jobs thing is so much more infuriating to me because most people don’t get diagnosed with pancreatic cancer until it’s far too late. They’re gone weeks or a few months later. He was one of the lucky ones and he fucking threw it away” (u/atget)

(“Fasting is definitely real and a practice that's been around for all of human history. Most people are perfectly capable of going at least a week without food as your body switches over to ketosis and uses stored fats for fuel. What's tricky is there's a difference between someone with an eating disorder starving themselves to death and someone fasting for health or even religious reasons. Some advocates for the health benefits of fasting point out that for almost all of our evolution we routinely fasted because our food supply wasn't steady and therefore our bodies are capable of it. Some scientists in Russia and Germany have found certain health benefits from fasting and some cancer patients find it helps during chemo.

But everything in moderation. It's not healthy to go without food for too long but it's also not healthy to over-eat” (u/trevize1138).

“Eating disorders" are for women, "bOdY hAcKiNg" is for men. Seems like a glamorisation/masculinisation of an ED” (u/Penelopkali)

Post #9

104

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bdkhpc/boys_will_be_boys_limits_all_genders_ we_need_a/.

Title “‘Boys will be boys’ limits all genders: We need a radical shift in how we raise boys”. Created by u/boypodcast Date of creation 15th April 2019 Score 1.0k Number of comments 64 Type of post Link to a Salon.com article written by Lauren Schiller. Link of article: https://www.salon.com/2019/04/11/boys-will-be- boys-limits-all-genders-we-need-a-radical-shift-in-how- we-raise-boys/ Main aspects discussed  This article mainly discusses about the relevance of rising boys within the context of a more positive masculinity, in order to avoid “misogynistic blindspots, emotional scarring and limiting behaviors” when they become adults.  The article opens with the following quote: “One of the biggest lessons we’re learning from the #MeToo movement is that the burden of striving for a more equal world cannot rest on the shoulders of women alone”, which would consequently improve the lives of both men and women.  The interviewed psychologist Dr. Michael Reichert calls to analyse how society constantly enforces traditional masculinity behaviours and highlights how women have been able to redefine what it is to be female, but men are continuously attributed the popular phrase “boys will be boys”.

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 Dr. Reichert makes reference to a study where 4 year old boys were studied for 2 years, and the study concluded that they adopted negative masculinity behaviours such as changing their toys, the way they dressed, the way they talked and treated each other, and started to harass girls in school. This results in the construction of the “Man Box”: “a strict societal limitation of how men are expected to act and think”.  Dr. Reichert closes with the following questions which he considers must be addressed to help both boys and girls develop a positive and mentality: “How does a young man find courage? Is it by shutting down his feelings and asserting this triumph of will over weakness and feelling? Or do we derive strength from being connected to our hearts and from being known and supported by other people?” Top 6 comments (Extracted from original post)

Original poster: “Michael Reichert just published a new book How to Raise a Boy and kind of along that he’s published a few articles in The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Fatherly, etc. This is one of them and I found it really impactful because it also has an interview you can listen to. At one point he asks: “How does a young man find courage? Is it by shutting down his feelings and asserting this triumph of will over weakness and feeling? Or do we derive strength from being connected to our hearts and from being known and supported by other people?” This matters to me because I facilitate gender- transformative boys programs as my full-time job and trying to help boys build the emotional literacy, supportive friendships and self-resilience they need to positively maintain their mental health is, like is said in this article, a tall order. Any thoughts on how we help boys grow into emotional and strong men?” (u/boypodcast).

“I don’t have a suggestion on how to help but I found this quote in an article today that I really enjoyed. “To cast down the proud and lift up the lowly. To do it justly and love mercy. To walk boldly, yet humbly. Herein is the art of manliness” (u/T_Brick_OG).

(in response to previous post): “Makes me think of the Raggers Creed from the YMCA:

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“I will be true, for there are those who trust me; I will be pure, for there are those who care; I will be strong, for there is much to suffer; I will be brave, for there is much to dare. I will be friend to all—the foe, the friendless; I will be giving, and forget the gift; I will be humble, for I know my weakness; I will look up, and laugh, and love and lift.” I like the general feel about mercy and humility, but I guess I hesitate when I see such a prescriptive definition of manhood. I’d like it more if it said: ‘Herein is how I seek to be a man.’ Not sure if that makes sense as a distinction, but basically while I think there is value in positive visioning (i.e. this is how to be a man rather than this is how NOT to be a man) and offering those kinds of role models to boys, I just don’t want it to become too narrow. I’d rather focus on mentoring boys in human qualities of care and mercy, boldness and humility; and teach them that there are many ways they choose to enact the values that are most important to them, and that all of those ways are valid expressions of their manhood” (u/boypodcast).

“Men and boys are pushed into what we falsely consider "manly" which is anger, toughness, confidence... all 3 things that mean bad news when we also teach men and boys that sex is the goal and if a woman likes you she'll give it to you. when a man only knows how to respond to adversity with rage, and only knows 1 goal: sex, what do we expect them to do when women don't give them what we want? it starts at the beginning. I teach preschool and I still see very old-world, misogyny taught to young boys frequently, things like "you don't hit girls, ever" or "boys don't wear skirts". when you've been around kids as long as I have you start really questioning why we still cling to such outdated ideals. the world is changing and will always be changing and we should be trying to make it better for these kids, boys and girls alike. Anyway not sure if that made sense but those are my thoughts” (u/_Not_Bruce_Wayne_)

“Education is the key! We need to study and understand the problems. Then, as a society, we can change them. Many social problems can be improved by deepening our understanding of how we perpetuate unhealthy masculine myths. Just like feminists have been doing for decades. - we can learn a lot from their model. We need more masculine studies in universities. Not under women’s studies and not as a branch of feminism. We need education for men by men - because those that could benefit from the learnings the most are NOT taking women’s and gender studies. There is a program like this at the university of Calgary in Canada and one in New York (i want to say its called stony brook?). We simply need to educate ourselves as a society, its not impossible” (u/Gravitygrave32).

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“There’s a lot of concerns I have for raising my children in the future; for one, the Earth is warming, and my country (similarly to many others) has a shitty excuse of a ruling government that isn’t taking us in a good direction. But I’m really, really excited that I can, as a 23 year old, begin to deconstruct all of these norms that I’ve internalized and externalized about masculinity. I’m really excited that conversations like this (and the work that has been done and is being done in academia) are being pushed and pushed by more and more media outlets so that the kinds of conversations that women have been having for the last couple of decades can now be had by men in the mainstream sense. Like, raising a kid in the future will definitely have classical challenges and challenges unique to whatever that era is. But I’m so happy and excited that I can consciously grow and think about these things alongside my kid(s) as they grow and begin to self-actualize. For all the bad things we’ll have to deal with as people, this is something that really brightens my outlook. I think it’s critical that the article and research in question looked at how young masculine norms influence boys; a positive and healthy masculinity, and openness to other expressions of identity, need to be emphasized by parents as well as educators and the media from the get-go, it seems” (u/Jamonde).

Post #10

Link: www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/bk4d57/men_have_no_friends_and_women_bea r_the_burden/.

Title “Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden”. Created by u/snarkerposey11 Date of 3rd May 2019 creation Score 975 Number of 215 comments Type of post Link to a Harpers Bazaar article written by Melanie Hamlett. Link to article: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxicmasculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/

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Main aspects  This article mainly discusses about how women assume to discussed bear the burden of men’s emotional lives due to the effect toxic masculinity has on them, which constantly tells men that expressing emotions is a “female thing”, while leading a “generation of straight men stranded on emotionally-stunted island, unable to forge intimate relationships with other men. It's women who are paying the price”.  The constant rejection of adopting sensitivity as a positive quality has not allowed men to acquire enough tools to deal with their emotional issues such as anger and frustration control. Also, the idea of looking for therapy is seen as weakness.  psychologist Angela Beard says therapy can be a “meaningful and transformative process” that can “question long-held masculine ideals” of what it is to be a man.  Study demonstrated that only 5% of men seek for mental therapy, even though they claim to be “feeling lonelier than ever before”. Moreover, men are more likely that women in supressing their pain and illness, and asre also 3 times more likely to commit suicide.  A man who assisted to group therapy for men explains “men are taught the remedy to heartbreak is to get drunk with your buddies, objectify women, and go out and get laid; to basically distance yourself from your feelings and channel them into an aggressive outlet”. Other participant says therapy gave him a space to realize “there was anything but the singular default definition of manhood”. Top 6 comments (Extracted from original post)

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I'm really trying to take it seriously this time. It's a hard balance to strike but i agree with the article that the key is to make sure my girlfriend isn't the only person i have to open up to”. (u/PantsDancing)

“Do you see a therapist?” (u/cocoacowstout)

“This is a great option— everyone can benefit from talking to someone who is professionally trained to help you work through things from seeming trivial issues to heavy scary issues you don’t want out in the open. Talking about things can be about relieving that weight on your shoulders or it can be that you need advice or just a soundboard to bounce ideas off of. You can decide to see them every week, multiple times a week, or every month— even on an as needed basis. If there’s still a stigma about seeing a mental health professional, let’s try to change that! There’s a lot of stressed out/unhappy people and we could all use a little advice or an ear every now and then. For those who don’t think they can afford it: if you’re on Medicaid, my experience is that they do cover it” (u/Teekayuhoh)

“My husband does this with me and there was a time when I first had trouble managing because I was processing a lot of my own stuff (infertility, depression, processing trauma, etc.) so I told him that I wanted him to have people to talk to and encouraged him to see close friends more often. I don't rely on him the same way he does for me and explained it wasn't fair for either of us. He ended up seeing a therapist and friends more often and things are much more balanced than they used to be. It helped him also not feel so resentful when I couldn't be there 100% 24/7 and had a big positive impact on our relationship. Relying only on one person for everything is never a good idea so its really great you're working on it. There is a myth about romantic relationships that perpetuates this idea and I wish it would just go away” (u/vespertine124).

“Demonizing male companionship this way is how we get bitter isolated dudes” (u/CleanWholesomePhun)

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Appendix II

Complete data set for Instagram query “#feministmen” https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1GNT1L4GOGljkg88UweF7cPV- V5popaCLSXmee0w9qu0/edit#gid=1790577160

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