RADIO STUDIO 30 MIN MAGAZINE SCRIPT/RUNNING ORDER TEMPLATE

Title of Programme: The Beat Down

Synopsis (200 words approx.): Pop roundup meets sarcastic attitude; the host (me) gives the audience a run down of all the drama happening in the Entertainment industry, with focus on the pop music industry. Each segment will focus on one of the biggest stories in the pop industry, and the final segment will be the main story and will go into more detail, and will feature a special guest. This show will have an interview with actress and activist, Jameela Jamil.

Preliminary Running Order (with approximated timings - please type over the guide text below):

r Timing Start End Time Time

IDENT – Radio Station Ident (5 seconds) 00:28 10:00:00 10:00:28 BED RISES

Hello and welcome to The Beat Down! I’m your host, David Harding and if you don’t know me, you probably don’t want to. And if you do know me… you probably don’t want to. Kevin, play ma music!

JINGLE (5 seconds)

Now today is Friday, which will come as a 02:22 10:00:28 10:02:50 surprise to most of you lucky people still on furlough because for you, every day is pyjama day and honestly Barbara I can smell you from here. Press pause and go have a shower. CLIP: They’re coming for you Barbara (3 seconds)

I know what you’re thinking and all I’ll say is this: if having a feminine voice, camp mannerisms and a major attitude problem CLIP: Major Buzzkill (2 seconds)

Makes me gay, then yes. I am.. a vegan.

CLIP: Badum Tish (2 seconds)

Welcome to The Beat Down, the only show where an obnoxious gay guy forces his opinions on cheap pop music down your throat.

CLIP: Crickets (3 seconds)

In today’s show, we - well I, I was only saying we to sound polite - will be discussing the many, many, MANY collaborations in the charts right now, all of which prove that you can beat a dead horse.

I’ll be trying to make sense of why the internet hates Doja Cat now

CLIP: What was the reason bitch (6 seconds)

I’ll also be talking about something that will certainly turn the heads of the gays who insist “they’re not like other guys” - Lana Del Rey

Do you know I’m convinced that Lana Del Rey fans are all linked to one hive mind: they type in all lower case, they love more than Mama Cass loves calories and they all have a deep self hated rooted into their bones. If you hadn’t already guessed, I’m a Lana Del Rey fan. CLIP: You’re just a man (4 seconds) I’m barely even that at this point babe

And sorry to disappoint, but this is not a 01:09 10:02:50 10:03:59 COVID free zone. Stay 2 metres away from your radio and be sure to sing Happy Birthday while washing your hands if you need to change the volume. Or just get an Alexa like the rest of us, Jesus Barbara at least try and keep up.

And last and, depending on your persuasion, least, the main story in our show, the beef in your Big Mac - the girl you love to hate: Taylor Swift, or as my dad calls her: “that blonde bird you fancy”

Oh Colin.

I’ve got special guests, shade and an attitude problem that a normal public school education apparently can’t fix. This is The Beat Down.

BED RISES TO FULL (10 seconds) JINGLE

The charts right now are really reminding me 1:59 10:03:59 10:05:58 of Heaton Park

CLIP: Eccleston in Heaton Park (4 seconds)

I’m just kidding, but there are collaborations everywhere. We got Doja and Nicki, Beyonce and Megan, Ariana and Gaga and even Demi and Sam Smith are putting their two cents in.

CLIP: Carole Baskin, killed her husband, whacked him (4 seconds)

What you just heard was from the Savage remix. Not the one that’s in the charts, obviously. The better version.

Personally, I’m enjoying seeing pop stars coming together on tracks. It gives me a chance to see who’s voices do and don’t work together, and as someone who has no musical expertise whatsoever and sings like Maureen from HR on karaoke night after a few cheeky mimosas, it makes me the perfect judge of these things.

Take Demi and Sam for example. They both have very noticeable vocal styles, so it could really have gone one of two ways. Personally think their voices sound horrible together and the song pisses me off to the point where, last time it was on, I switched radio stations to one that was playing Rain by Aitch and AJ Tracey and LEFT IT ON.

CLIP: Said wagwan what’s going on why am I wet girl that’s rain (3 seconds)

They really made the rest of us hard working folks look like Muggins. Those lads write things like that and earn millions. Meanwhile I make stupid jokes on the radio that are only funny if you’re really high.

CLIP: You don’t have the BALLS to be this high (6 seconds)

That aside, there are some genuinely 1:41 10:05:58 10:07:39 enjoyable collaborations out at the minute. Rain on Me by Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande is a particular highlight. I’ve been listening to it religiously at a volume that can only be bad for my hearing. And if it doesn’t damage my hearing, the looks that people on the tram give me when they hear a tinny version from my AirPods

CLIP: Aerosmith screaming EAT THE RICH (1 second) certainly damages my street cred. Wow, street cred. Who am I and why do I live in 2002?

Another highlight I’m enjoying is another Ariana collab, this time with Justin Bieber. And thank god this is radio because if it was TV, you’d see how much my awful quarantine hair makes me looks like 2010 Bieber.

Stuck with U is a cute little song about living with your partner in lockdown, something I can’t relate to because I’m working through the lockdown and more importantly, bitterly single.

CLIP: Mr Krabs playing his tiny violin (4 seconds)

But what I really like about Stuck With U is its cause. The money raised by the single will go to a charity called First Responder Children’s Foundation, helping the children of key workers across America. So I guess what I’m saying is go buy Stuck With U!

We’ll be back after this short break but don’t 10:07:39 10:08:01 go anywhere because still to come we’ve 00:22 got Doja Cat drama, Lana Del Rey drama, Taylor Swift drama and of course

CLIP: – “Coronavirus!” (2 seconds) Don’t go anywhere

JINGLE

JINGLE, MUSIC BED 03:11 10:08:01 10:11:12

Welcome back to The Beat Down!

Amalaratna Zandile Dlamini is one of the biggest rising stars of 2020. I’ll just give you a second to appreciate the flawless pronunciation.

I am of course talking about Doja Cat. Her second album Hot Pink has been dominating worldwide charts since its fifth single Say So became one of the biggest hits of the year.

CLIP: Why don’t you say (2 seconds)

It started with the viral TikTok dance, then a music video and then got the high honour of getting a remix with

CLIP: Nicki on Say So (5 seconds)

But over the weekend, #DojaCatIsOverParty trended on Twitter worldwide. It all kicked off with one of her old songs resurfacing - Dindu Nuffin. No I don’t just add weird affectations for no good reason, that is what she’s called it.

People on Twitter are accusing Doja of encouraging alt-right racist groups who have been known to say ‘didn’t do nothing’ to mock Black victims of police brutality.

But that’s not all. There’s now footage circulating of Doja in a chat room with people making racist jokes and laughing at them.

She’s put a statement out saying that she shouldn’t have been in the chat rooms but denied being personally involved in any racist conversations.

She also said that Dindu Nuffin was simply intended as a “response to people who hurt her” in an attempt to flip its meaning but now “recognises it was a bad decision to use the term in her music”

Personally, I think there’ll be backlash for a few weeks then the Internet will find another victim, which leads me very nicely into our next story.

Lana Del Rey has been accused of racism. It 02:09 10:11:12 10:13:21 seems the pop industry is just full of racists! Either that or the internet is filled with keyboard warriors with nothing else to do but “cancel” people better than themselves. I’ll let you decide.

It started with an post in which Del Rey called out claims that she’s an “anti-feminist pariah” while “Doja Cat, Ariana, Camila, Cardi B, Kehlani, Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé" had all sung about "being sexy, wearing no clothes... cheating, etc" without facing similar criticism.

And the internet went berserk. Well the internets already berserk but it’s corona time and people are bored

CLIP: It’s corona time (3 seconds)

And of course the comments section was abuzz with shouts of “sounds about white”

One twitter user said “I think Lana's post would have been fine if she hadn't compared herself to a group of mostly black women with the clear tone that she thinks she's been treated worse by the media when that's observably untrue”

She responded the following day with a second statement saying that the artists she mentioned are “her favourite singers” and stood by her original point that there is a blatant double standard in the industry.

She said to the world that “It may not have to do with race. I don't know what it has to do with. I don't care anymore but don't ever, ever, ever, ever bro - call me racist because that is bull”

I thought it’d be interesting to ask the public what they thought of the whole fiasco so it’s over to our correspondent David who’s on Market Street in Manchester asking the general public what they think about this whole fiasco.

NO BED, MARKET STREET ACTUALITY 00:36 10:13:06 10:13:57 Thank you David, I’m here in Manchester to ask the general public what they think about the recent drama with Lana Del Rey CHEESY HOMES UNDER THE HAMMER MUSIC (6 seconds)

CUTS ABRUPTLY

There is no public. They’re all at home.

David Harding here, reporting that the people of Manchester are sticking to the lockdown rules and giving me no content whatsoever. Back to you David.

BED 00:18 10:13:57 10:14:15 Thanks David

Now we’re going to go for another short break but we still have some meaty stories coming up, stay tuned

JINGLE

BED 0:48 10:14:15 10:15:03 Welcome back to The Beat Down!

CLIP: T.Swift – The Man (8 seconds) The song you just heard was from Taylor Swift’s latest single ‘The Man’.

In it, she calls out the blatant sexism happening in the world today that, for the most part, goes un noticed. And you may be wondering: Taylor Swift? Calling out injustices? Surely not. Taylor Swift is that annoying country bird with too many boyfriends and never lets up when it comes to irrelevant break ups. CLIP: I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now (4 seconds)

That’s right, its good girl gone bad season 01:47 10:15:03 10:16:50 and I’m not talking about but RiRi come back I miss you.

As you probably aren’t aware, last year Taylor put a statement on Instagram saying that her seventh album Lover would not be released under Big Machine Records, as her previous six had. This was because she had started her own label, inventively named Taylor Swift records.

The statement doesn’t end there. She says that the executives of her former label, Scott Borchetta and Scooter Braun were prohibiting her from performing the songs still owned by Big Machine.

This means that she no longer has any ownership of her first six albums, and is now making plans to re-record and re-release them under her own label.

And as you’d expect, “The Man” got bitter and why wouldn’t he? A woman has single handedly taken control (and millions of dollars of potential sales and streams) from him and exposed him to the world for being a rat. How dare she commit such an audacious act?

CLIP: And that was sarcasm in case you needed it mansplained (5 seconds)

Recently, a remix of her 2014 hit single, 12:06 10:16:50 10:29:01 Wildest Dreams went viral on TikTok, causing it to gain streams and revenue for Swift under song writing credit. And then suddenly, the Wildest Dreams music video has (Karaoke Version) in the description?

CLIP: Coincidence? I think not. (3 seconds)

With the Wildest Dreams video being a ‘Karaoke Version’, Swift no longer gets any dollar for song writing credit. And they call me the queen of petty.

And no doubt you’ll have heard of a little programme called Killing Eve? Well this drama extends as far as that. On 25th May, Swift posted an Instagram story expressing her gratitude for a cover of her 2017 track Look What You Made Me Do from a band called Jack Leopards and The Dolphin Club.

To the untrained eye, this would have been a “huh, I’ll listen to that later” kind of deal.

But don’t be too hasty to forget, Swifties are used to figuring out cryptic mysterious hints Swift drops so in about five minutes, they realised that the track was produced by Swift herself under the pseudonym Nils Sjoberg, with her brother Austin on lead vocals.

All of this so that Scooter and Scott don’t get a penny of royalties.

But it doesn’t end there. In the original Look What You Made Me Do music video, released 3 years ago, the graveyard scene has a tombstone with the name of Nils Sjoberg on… with a dolphin underneath. Meanwhile I can’t even plan what I’m having for breakfast. We contacted Big Machine Radio for an interview to try and see how Scott and Scooter are feeling about all this but they didn’t answer. Shame

We also contacted the producer of the new version of Look What You Made Me Do, Jack Antonoff and he… also didn’t answer. However, we got in touch with a very good friend of Taylor’s

CLIP: Tahani Al Jamil talking about Taylor Swift (15 seconds)

Yes, we have the one and only Jameela Jamil in studio with us today

INTERVIEW WITH JAMEELA JAMIL COVERING:

- BIG MACHINE - WOMAN OF THE DECADE - THE MAN - MISS AMERICANA - RE-RECORDING ALBUMS 10 MINUTES

So that about draws The Beat Down to a 00:29 10:29:01 10:29:30 close and frankly, I’m beat

CLIP: Badum Tish (3 seconds)

Wow, 2 badum tish’s in one show I must be funny

CLIP: Crickets (3 seconds)

Thank you for listening to The Beat Down, I’ve been your host David Harding and I truly mean it when I say: the pleasure’s all yours.

MUSIC BED RISES JINGLE