RADIO STUDIO 30 MIN MAGAZINE SCRIPT/RUNNING ORDER TEMPLATE Title of Programme: The Beat Down Synopsis (200 words approx.): Pop roundup meets sarcastic attitude; the host (me) gives the audience a run down of all the drama happening in the Entertainment industry, with focus on the pop music industry. Each segment will focus on one of the biggest stories in the pop industry, and the final segment will be the main story and will go into more detail, and will feature a special guest. This show will have an interview with actress and activist, Jameela Jamil. Preliminary Running Order (with approximated timings - please type over the guide text below): r Timing Start End Time Time IDENT – Radio Station Ident (5 seconds) 00:28 10:00:00 10:00:28 BED RISES Hello and welcome to The Beat Down! I’m your host, David Harding and if you don’t know me, you probably don’t want to. And if you do know me… you probably don’t want to. Kevin, play ma music! JINGLE (5 seconds) Now today is Friday, which will come as a 02:22 10:00:28 10:02:50 surprise to most of you lucky people still on furlough because for you, every day is pyjama day and honestly Barbara I can smell you from here. Press pause and go have a shower. CLIP: They’re coming for you Barbara (3 seconds) I know what you’re thinking and all I’ll say is this: if having a feminine voice, camp mannerisms and a major attitude problem CLIP: Major Buzzkill (2 seconds) Makes me gay, then yes. I am.. a vegan. CLIP: Badum Tish (2 seconds) Welcome to The Beat Down, the only show where an obnoxious gay guy forces his opinions on cheap pop music down your throat. CLIP: Crickets (3 seconds) In today’s show, we - well I, I was only saying we to sound polite - will be discussing the many, many, MANY collaborations in the charts right now, all of which prove that you can beat a dead horse. I’ll be trying to make sense of why the internet hates Doja Cat now CLIP: What was the reason bitch (6 seconds) I’ll also be talking about something that will certainly turn the heads of the gays who insist “they’re not like other guys” - Lana Del Rey Do you know I’m convinced that Lana Del Rey fans are all linked to one hive mind: they type in all lower case, they love Twitter more than Mama Cass loves calories and they all have a deep self hated rooted into their bones. If you hadn’t already guessed, I’m a Lana Del Rey fan. CLIP: You’re just a man (4 seconds) I’m barely even that at this point babe And sorry to disappoint, but this is not a 01:09 10:02:50 10:03:59 COVID free zone. Stay 2 metres away from your radio and be sure to sing Happy Birthday while washing your hands if you need to change the volume. Or just get an Alexa like the rest of us, Jesus Barbara at least try and keep up. And last and, depending on your persuasion, least, the main story in our show, the beef in your Big Mac - the girl you love to hate: Taylor Swift, or as my dad calls her: “that blonde bird you fancy” Oh Colin. I’ve got special guests, shade and an attitude problem that a normal public school education apparently can’t fix. This is The Beat Down. BED RISES TO FULL (10 seconds) JINGLE The charts right now are really reminding me 1:59 10:03:59 10:05:58 of Heaton Park CLIP: Eccleston in Heaton Park (4 seconds) I’m just kidding, but there are collaborations everywhere. We got Doja and Nicki, Beyonce and Megan, Ariana and Gaga and even Demi and Sam Smith are putting their two cents in. CLIP: Carole Baskin, killed her husband, whacked him (4 seconds) What you just heard was from the Savage remix. Not the one that’s in the charts, obviously. The better version. Personally, I’m enjoying seeing pop stars coming together on tracks. It gives me a chance to see who’s voices do and don’t work together, and as someone who has no musical expertise whatsoever and sings like Maureen from HR on karaoke night after a few cheeky mimosas, it makes me the perfect judge of these things. Take Demi and Sam for example. They both have very noticeable vocal styles, so it could really have gone one of two ways. Personally think their voices sound horrible together and the song pisses me off to the point where, last time it was on, I switched radio stations to one that was playing Rain by Aitch and AJ Tracey and LEFT IT ON. CLIP: Said wagwan what’s going on why am I wet girl that’s rain (3 seconds) They really made the rest of us hard working folks look like Muggins. Those lads write things like that and earn millions. Meanwhile I make stupid jokes on the radio that are only funny if you’re really high. CLIP: You don’t have the BALLS to be this high (6 seconds) That aside, there are some genuinely 1:41 10:05:58 10:07:39 enjoyable collaborations out at the minute. Rain on Me by Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande is a particular highlight. I’ve been listening to it religiously at a volume that can only be bad for my hearing. And if it doesn’t damage my hearing, the looks that people on the tram give me when they hear a tinny version from my AirPods CLIP: Aerosmith screaming EAT THE RICH (1 second) certainly damages my street cred. Wow, street cred. Who am I and why do I live in 2002? Another highlight I’m enjoying is another Ariana collab, this time with Justin Bieber. And thank god this is radio because if it was TV, you’d see how much my awful quarantine hair makes me looks like 2010 Bieber. Stuck with U is a cute little song about living with your partner in lockdown, something I can’t relate to because I’m working through the lockdown and more importantly, bitterly single. CLIP: Mr Krabs playing his tiny violin (4 seconds) But what I really like about Stuck With U is its cause. The money raised by the single will go to a charity called First Responder Children’s Foundation, helping the children of key workers across America. So I guess what I’m saying is go buy Stuck With U! We’ll be back after this short break but don’t 10:07:39 10:08:01 go anywhere because still to come we’ve 00:22 got Doja Cat drama, Lana Del Rey drama, Taylor Swift drama and of course CLIP: Cardi B – “Coronavirus!” (2 seconds) Don’t go anywhere JINGLE JINGLE, MUSIC BED 03:11 10:08:01 10:11:12 Welcome back to The Beat Down! Amalaratna Zandile Dlamini is one of the biggest rising stars of 2020. I’ll just give you a second to appreciate the flawless pronunciation. I am of course talking about Doja Cat. Her second album Hot Pink has been dominating worldwide charts since its fifth single Say So became one of the biggest hits of the year. CLIP: Why don’t you say (2 seconds) It started with the viral TikTok dance, then a music video and then got the high honour of getting a remix with Nicki Minaj CLIP: Nicki on Say So (5 seconds) But over the weekend, #DojaCatIsOverParty trended on Twitter worldwide. It all kicked off with one of her old songs resurfacing - Dindu Nuffin. No I don’t just add weird affectations for no good reason, that is what she’s called it. People on Twitter are accusing Doja of encouraging alt-right racist groups who have been known to say ‘didn’t do nothing’ to mock Black victims of police brutality. But that’s not all. There’s now footage circulating of Doja in a chat room with people making racist jokes and laughing at them. She’s put a statement out saying that she shouldn’t have been in the chat rooms but denied being personally involved in any racist conversations. She also said that Dindu Nuffin was simply intended as a “response to people who hurt her” in an attempt to flip its meaning but now “recognises it was a bad decision to use the term in her music” Personally, I think there’ll be backlash for a few weeks then the Internet will find another victim, which leads me very nicely into our next story. Lana Del Rey has been accused of racism. It 02:09 10:11:12 10:13:21 seems the pop industry is just full of racists! Either that or the internet is filled with keyboard warriors with nothing else to do but “cancel” people better than themselves. I’ll let you decide. It started with an Instagram post in which Del Rey called out claims that she’s an “anti-feminist pariah” while “Doja Cat, Ariana, Camila, Cardi B, Kehlani, Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé" had all sung about "being sexy, wearing no clothes... cheating, etc" without facing similar criticism. And the internet went berserk. Well the internets already berserk but it’s corona time and people are bored CLIP: It’s corona time (3 seconds) And of course the comments section was abuzz with shouts of “sounds about white” One twitter user said “I think Lana's post would have been fine if she hadn't compared herself to a group of mostly black women with the clear tone that she thinks she's been treated worse by the media when that's observably untrue” She responded the following day with a second statement saying that the artists she mentioned are “her favourite singers” and stood by her original point that there is a blatant double standard in the industry.