The Demonic Possession of Anneliese Michel Part One - Now in the Suck Pile out Back by the Suck Shed
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Cold Open: In the last days of Anneliese Michel’s life, she looked more dead than alive. Emaciated. Face sunken in. Sharp cheekbones protruding from grey, pallid skin. Teeth chipped from recently biting a hole in a wall. Extremely dark, black circles around once beautiful and hopeful eyes. This previously attractive young German college student was only 23 years old. And now she looked closer to 60. She should have been graduating, joining the workforce, dating, and enjoying her youth. She should have been figuring out what she was going to do with a long and happy life. Instead, she’d been undergoing multiple exorcism rituals a week for nearly a full year. She was bedridden and weighed less than 70 pounds - and it’s not like she was 3 feet tall. I actually couldn’t find a single reference to exactly how tall she was, but, based on numerous photos, I’d have to say 5’4” or 5’5”. And based on photos of Anneliese when she was healthy, I’d put her weight at around a very fit 110 pounds, maybe even 115 or 120. But now, in the last days of her life, she was a skeleton with rice-paper thin skin. She looked like a demon herself. She looked frightened. Ethereal. She looked like the become the personification of torment itself. She’d lost 40 to 50 pounds off of an already thin frame. That’s what happens when you skip the food pyramid and instead exist on a diet of spiders, flies, and your own urine, licked up off the floor. Seriously. For a time this was all she’d eat or drink. Speaking like a demon as she did so. Despite her emaciated physique, she possessed, in moments, an unnatural, almost super human strength. She destroyed rosaries, crucifixes, holy pictures, and once squeezed an apple with one hand until it burst. Another time she threw her sister across the room “as if she were a rag doll.” And Anneliese still possessed enough energy to speak slash bark at the priests around her in an inhuman and terrifying voice: ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63oP-bftHGs Play 8:44 - 8:50 ) Anneliese would die on July 1st, 1976. The official cause of death? Malnutrition and dehydration. But what caused this recently healthy young woman to refuse to eat in the first place? Mental illness? She’d seen a plethora of doctors, none of whom were able to help her. Brain scans showed nothing physically abnormal with her mind. So what was happening? Was she simply suffering from a mental illness local doctors just weren’t knowledgeable enough to identify and treat? Or was something else entirely afflicting her? Something not of this world? Something dead. Something evil. We set this stage for both scientific and spiritual possibilities in this part one of a two part paranormal horror Suck, today on a dark and disturbing edition of Timesuck. PAUSE TIMESUCK INTRO I. Welcome A. Happy Friday Timesuckers! I’m Dan Cummins aka Senior Suckmaster Supreme aka Sgt. Suckmaster aka The Prophet of Nimrod. And you - indoctrinated drinker of that sweet sauce known as the Cult of the Curious - YOU are listening to Timesuck. The 20th Bonus Episode! Long ago, at the beginning of this podcast, I made a deal to do a bonus episode for every 100 iTunes reviews and now I owe you beautiful bastards 13 more bonus episodes. And counting! One every 3 weeks is the most I can kick out and so we have another Friday bonus episode coming every 3 weeks for AT LEAST the next 39 weeks. At the rate you review pretty soon we’ll have them coming for over a year. And I appreciate those reviews so much. The most recent review as I write this, written by iTunes user middle aged white woman, has a subject of “Bojangles Dance for me” and she writes, “My 12 year old puppy just passed away. I will name the next furry love of my life Bojangles! The Danimal!” Well, Middle Aged White Woman, thank you for the five star rating and I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your puppy! When the time is right and you get a new fur baby, I will be honored to hear that the name Bojangles will be bestowed upon him and I’m certain he will be a mighty snuggle warrior! Thank you for your continued support and for continually spreading the suck! Thank you all for those ratings, reviews, and subscriptions that keep Timesuck up in the comedy charts, where future Suckers can find it and be brought into the fun fold. B. Atheist Charity: Alright - we’ve been on a heavy religious theme the past few sucks - unintentional - just worked out that way. But since it has worked out that way, it felt right today to throw a bone to our also awesome non-religious Suckers. One of our very own Timesuckers, John Bonner (Boughner), is a Board Member of the Nashville, TN Chapter of Atheist Alliance Helping the Homeless. Bandages, mouthwash, body powder, first aid kits, tooth brushes, hand sanitizer, gloves, tents, hoodies, and more that might not make much of difference in your day to day life but could make a HUGE difference to someone else’s. Lynze and I bought some backpacks and tents. Sometimes a little help is all someone needs to get back on their feet. One couple, after getting some assistance from this organization, was able to scrape up enough money to purchase a small run down car, and get into section 8 housing. They’re no longer on the street. The Nashville, TN Chapter of Atheist Alliance - one of 17 chapters in different cities - have a Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/ AAHHNash/ and their Amazon wishlist is pinned to the top of the page. That link is https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/ JBH9HJLC66HP Both those links will be in today’s episode description. And thanks for coming to the show at Zanies last week, John! John’s awesome. He’s a Space Lizard AND, more importantly, he’s currently working on writing grants to get the government funding needed to start a reintegration program. This program will take in these folks, work with them on health, legal, addiction, and psychological issues, and then give them the life and job skills to eventually help them get their own place. There are a lot of amazing kick-ass religious charities out there helping the less fortunate, so thankful that they exist. But there are so many that I think it’s easy to not realize that there are non- religious charities as well. So, if you’ve allowed theological bias to get in the way of helping the less fortunate get what they need to survive - now you don’t have that excuse! Also - don’t feel bad if you don’t have the dough to donate. Or, if this just isn’t your charity. But it is a great charity, and if you DO donate, Nimrod will be most pleased. Hail Nimrod! C. New stickers and new decals: Thanks to all of you Timesuckers who’ve been scooping the new Danger Brain designed stickers and vinyl decals up this past week and spreading the Suck! Danger Brain, Danger Brain, Danger Brain! I love saying the name of the Official Suck Designers. If Michael Motherfuckin’ McDonald is the bard of the Suck, they’re like the Suck’s Leonardo Da Vinci. Actually, there’s two designers at Danger Brain - Sebastian and Alfonso - so, they’re the Leonardo Da Divinci AND Michelangelo of Timesuck. And I’m not talking about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And, as long as they’re in stock, you get a free sticker pack with every order of more than $30! AND - Danger Brain collaborated with a Timesuck fan who sent in some fan art to make a new limited edition Timesuck product that you’ll hear about a little later today. You’ll understand why I’m not telling you now when you hear it. D. TOUR: Ticket sales are looking dynamite for Salt Lake City tonight and tomorrow at the new Jordan Landing Wiseguys. The early show on Saturday is already sold out, and, by the time you years this, it looks like the early show on Friday will also be sold out. Very excited for tonight’s and tomorrow’s shows. And San Francisco Punchline coming up in less than a week, April 25-28th - get out there you Bay Area motherfuckin’ Timesuckers! Next up is a live Timesuck podcast in Spokane on May 6th. Sunday night. Gonna be doing a live suck on a Northwest piece of shit - Gary Ridgeway. The Green River killer. The Space Lizards voted that in for the first topic on Monday and the rest of you Timesuckers will hear the studio version of Green River Gary on May 7th. Then it’s the Sacramento Punchline May 10th - 12th, and the Tempe, Arizona Improv May 31st - June 3rd. So many solid venues - not a shit hole in the bunch. More tour dates at www.dancummins.tv. Kick ass original song making fun of the Westboro Baptist Church written and performed by musician and Timesucker Larry Hooper in today’s Timesucker Updates. Bonus episode 20, The Demonic Possession of Anneliese Michel, Part 1 of 2, right damn now! Begone Lucifina! PAUSE INTERLUDE II. Who Are We Talking About Today? A. Anneliese & Wurzburg: Alright Timesuckers, who are we talking about today? The unfortunate star of this Suck is Anna Elisabeth Michel (“Michelle”) .