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Family Tradition" Was Published in the Vampire Fiction Journal Night to Dawn, Issue 17, April 2010

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Family Tradition For Your 2011 Prix Aurora Award Consideration in the Category of Best Short Fiction in English See www.prixaurorawards.ca "Family Tradition" was published in the vampire fiction journal Night to Dawn, issue 17, April 2010. Family Tradition By Derwin Mak “...and Chelsea is the new Miss Hooters of Cocoa Beach!” said Maria, the restaurant manager. Amidst the cheers and hoots of the audience, Chelsea Van Helsing received the aluminum tiara from last year’s winner, Sara. Seconds later, Sara and Maria threw the “Miss Hooters of Cocoa Beach” sash over her shoulder and handed her a bouquet of red roses. As she clutched the tiara to keep it from wobbling, Chelsea posed and smiled for the photographers. Chelsea hugged and kissed the runner-up and the other contestants. “This is way cool!” she cried. “I actually won a bikini pageant! This is way cool!” Hooters, the restaurant chain with waitresses who wore white tank tops and tight orange shorts, had a series of beauty pageants for its waitresses. Now she was Miss Hooters of Cocoa Beach. To what heights would she strut next? Maria grabbed the microphone again. “Chelsea will represent Cocoa Beach at the Miss Hooters International Pageant in Las Vegas. In addition, she’ll receive a hundred-dollar gift certificate from the Econo-Mall.” The gift certificate wasn’t the university scholarship that the Miss America Pageant gave its winner, but Chelsea didn’t complain. She needed all the money she could get for college. On her way out of the crowded restaurant, Chelsea stopped to autograph a poster of the contestants, which showed her in the red bikini. Too tired to change into her civilian clothes, she grabbed her duffle bag, threw on an overcoat, hopped into her white convertible, and drove back to her apartment. As she unlocked her door, a balding man wearing the black suit of an Eastern Orthodox Family Tradition by Derwin Mak 2 priest approached her. He was Father Boris Buca, a new visiting professor at the Department of Theology, Cocoa Beach University. “So how did the contest go?” he asked. Chelsea showed him the tiara. “Oh, just fabulous! I won!” “Congratulations,” Father Buca said. “I hope that my blessing helped. Never before had anyone asked me to bless a beauty pageant contestant.” Chelsea nodded. “For that, you get ten free chicken wings. I’ll get a coupon for you. Good night, Father.” She entered her apartment, went to the bedroom, and threw off her overcoat, leaving herself clad only in her bikini. “I say, young lady, must you display yourself in public wearing immodest apparel such as that?” a voice said in the Dutch accent of Chelsea’s ancestors. She spun around and saw an old man dressed in a black morning coat and pants, white shirt with upturned collar, and plaid bow tie. His straggly, unkempt hair and goatee were as white as snow, and his hostile eyes stared at her through thin wire glasses. In his Victorian clothes, he would have looked like an actor from a play except that he was semi-transparent. Chelsea could see right through him. Chelsea moaned. “Great-great-granddad, don’t you ever knock? Like on the door?” The ghost of Abraham Van Helsing scowled. “I keep telling you that I have no solid form to knock on doors.” Chelsea put on her overcoat. “So you just appear in a girl’s bedroom unannounced — like your old buddy, Dracula?” Abraham sighed, and Chelsea smirked. She knew the old ghost hated being compared to his old enemy. “Chelsea, I am distressed to see you squandering your life serving beer to ruffians of the lower classes and displaying yourself in a manner that would embarrass even the most shameless trollops,” he said. “You should take a more respectable trade, like our family tradition.” “I’m having too much fun serving beer to horny frat boys, posing for swimsuit calendars, and hanging out with my friends. Why should I go skulking around in cemeteries at night?” “That is what our family does,” Abraham said. “I pledged myself to rid the world of the evil of vampirism.” Family Tradition by Derwin Mak 3 “There are no vampires in Cocoa Beach,” Chelsea said. “Before I died, there were rumors that Dracula was somehow revived after I beheaded him,” Abraham said. “Now I suspect that he may have come here to Cocoa Beach, America.” “Why do you think he’s here?” Chelsea demanded. “Did a ship come in with its entire crew dead? Is a plague of rats infesting the city? Are mental cases eating flies and spiders?" “There are increasing numbers of Romanian immigrants arriving to these shores,” Abraham said. “He and his acolytes could be among them.” “That’s why you think Dracula is here? Oh, so like, they passed the Homeland Security anti- terrorist test, but they didn’t pass the Abraham Van Helsing anti-vampire test?” “Chelsea, do not take my warnings lightly. Dracula is King of the Undead. Being undead is the worst state of evil. You must destroy Dracula to stop the evil.” “Oh, he’s undead, so he’s evil,” Chelsea mused. “What about you, then? You’re just as dead as he is.” Abraham shook his head. “No, no. Dracula is undead. I am dead. There is a difference.” “Oh, as if!” Chelsea cried. “It is our family tradition to kill the undead,” Abraham urged. “Please, be like your father and help me lay a trap for vampires at the cemetery.” “I’ll tell you what a trap is. Our family tradition is a trap,” Chelsea said. “Well, forget that!” “It is your destiny!” “Get out of here! Go haunt someone who cares!” Abraham Van Helsing’s ghost disappeared with a “poof” noise, which he made when he was extremely annoyed. Tired and exasperated, Chelsea fell onto her bed. *** “Hi, my name’s Chelsea, and I’ll be your Hooters Girl,” Chelsea cooed as she leaned over the table to talk to the customer. By leaning over, she gave the customer a good look at her deep cleavage. She didn’t mind, though; he was only looking, not groping, and flashing her cleavage at him would guarantee her a big tip. But instead of staring at her cleavage, the customer looked into her eyes. Chelsea stared into his deep green eyes. They seemed intense and hypnotic, as if they could pierce a girl’s soul and discover her deepest desires and fantasies. She drifted into a daydream... Chelsea snapped back to attention. “Oh, sorry, I got a little distracted.” She wiped the drool Family Tradition by Derwin Mak 4 off her lips. “Uh, as I said, my name is Chelsea.” “It is a pleasure to meet a beautiful lady such as you, Chelsea,” the customer said. His voice sounded soft and seductive. “My name is Ivan Teppish.” “Great to meet you too, Ivan. Are you visiting from out of town?” “I have recently moved here to start a business. I am from Romania,” he said. “Oh, so cool,” Chelsea said. “You’ve got a cute accent. You sound just like Count Chocula.” Ivan’s smile faded. Chelsea flipped her black hair. “So can I get you something to drink? A beer? Or a wine?” “I never drink wine. Please give me, uh, what do you call it, a Bud Light?” *** Ivan ordered a steak sandwich cooked extra rare, pink with blood oozing. After bringing the steak to him, Chelsea rang up the tab for another customer. As she stood by the cash register, she stared at Ivan eating his blood-soaked steak. In a restaurant full of guys in golf shirts, jeans, and baseball caps, Ivan wore a white shirt, a deep red tie, and an elegant black suit that Chelsea recognized as an Armani. This man dressed to impress. He was also incredibly gorgeous, with his handsome face and thick black hair. And he filled out that designer suit very well, Chelsea noticed. She fantasized about the finely-sculpted, athletic, toned body under the designer suit: the muscular biceps, the strong chest, the flat stomach, the firm butt... The other waitresses ogled Ivan too. As they passed his table, the girls swayed their hips and twirled their hair around their fingers. “Oh, your customer is soooo adorable,” Kate squealed as she approached the cash register. “He is just stud material.” “I can see all the other girls going all droolly and hair-twirlly around him. The power of male pheromones,” Chelsea said. “But hah, he’s at my table tonight.” She sauntered over to Ivan’s table, sat down, smiled, and asked, “So, how’s the steak?” Ivan smiled back at her. “It is excellent, very juicy and tender, as young, beautiful, fresh meat should be.” “Another satisfied customer. Great! Did you say that you’re here to start a business? What kind of business is it?” Family Tradition by Derwin Mak 5 “I own a multi-million dollar enterprise in Romania. I am establishing a branch of my business here.” He handed a business card to Chelsea. She looked at the card: Carfax Jewelers Diamonds and Gold Jewelry “Wow, you deal in diamonds and jewelry,” Chelsea said. Ivan looked seductively into her eyes again. “I like to acquire things of beauty.” Chelsea nodded and looked dreamily into his eyes. Those eyes could hypnotize her into doing anything with him, she realized. She regained her senses and shifted her gaze to a brooch pinned to the lapel of his suit. It looked like a gold reptile curled into a circle with diamonds for its eyes.
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