iiB M lAC £OP%

C.A.W. IS COMING

8-13 MARCH 1982

What are you doing?

STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE WEDNESDAY, 3rd MARCH, 1982 No. 668. Price 5p LATEST SHUT!!! DAY NURSERY TO CLOSE VOTE The student representatives view which was that student wel­ become available.” to a number of students by the loss who were at this Monday’s fare should not be seen to be in The Student representatives also of this facility. He proposed that At last the round of elections is almost over following meeting of University competition for financial resources presented a 1,500 name petition to the Council instruct the Day with academic departments. Mr. the Council calling the University Nursery Management Committee last week’s voting for the new executives of SRC and Council were angry and UMC and yesterday’s for Ordinary Members of UMC. Spalding also rejected the notion to keep the Nursery open. Even to look into ways in which the upset after the Council dec­ that the future of the Nursery that failed to move the majority of University could provide help for For yesterday’s elections, the result is not available at the time of ision to close the Day should be seen in purely financial Council members. students who had children. going to press but it’s safe to say that the six people for whom you saw Nursery from September terms. Professor Laurence Martin, the the most publicity leading up to the election duly got themselves Vice Chancellor, was most con­ PROTEST elected. 1st. EXPENSIVE cerned over the University com­ The next scene in the 15 year The Day Nursery Management LANDSCAPING plying with “ advice” issued by the saga of the Day Nursery revolves As for the ten elections held last week, four were contests against the Committee recommended a two As M r. Spalding was later to Universities Grants Committee around the response of the S.R.C. ubiquitous RON (Re-open Nominations) as the posts themselves were point plan to Council which would comment to Courier: “The finan- which instructed Universities to and the other campus Unions to uncontested. In those unopposed elections, Eugene Milne, a likeable have allowed the Nursery to rem­ enthusiastic medic succeeded in becoming next year’s editor of this ain open for at least the next three marvellous paper; the equally enthusiastic Noel McGivern was chosen years. to succeed to the post of VP services; dour but genial Scot Pete Leven- After a heated debate the son will take over as SRC Publicity Officer, and Sandra Stevens will be Committee’s recommendations the first person to hold the new post of Accommodation Officer. were rejected by 16 votes to 9 with 4 abstentions. In a far from close victory, another medic, Jo Latimer, defeated Mar­ tin Reppion to become VP Without Portfolio of SRC while her friend NO REPRIEVE and colleague Gwyneth Jones has moved from being this year’s SRC The Committee’s recommenda­ Societies Treasurer to being next year’s Union Society Convenor of tions would have required the Debates having beaten one Jeremy Mayes of letters page fame and the University to underwrite the cost one and only Jamse Mathews in the process. of the premises occupied by the Head of Security Joe Carlebach cruised the election for Vice- Nursery, and would have given President of the Union Society against purely hypothetical opposition the Nursery 3 years in which to from Kevin Rusby while former nurse Annie Skelton ousted the right- achieve a break-even position. wing menace in the form of Richard Curless for the post of VP Welfare. In making these proposals Pro­ fessor Roy Storer, Dean of Dentis­ What for many people was the shock result of last week’s voting saw try and Chairman of the Day first year smiling Sue Crawford defeat established hack Paul Nursery Management Committee, Fernandes-Montez and baby-faced David Addison to become VP Cul­ outlined the difficulties that were tural Affairs in succession to Rita Rupal. besetting the Nursery. The high The lighter side of things degenerated into farce during the count running costs of the Nursery when it became clear that the conglomerate joke candidate formed by building in Claremont Road and an alliance of three recent sabbaticals — Andy Brittlebank, Fred the mood of uncertainty over its Blakey and Nicky Edwards — was going to win the election for VP future were blamed for the Community Affairs. After initially ruling the whole election invalid, the Nursery’s financial position. The Senior Returning Officer David George of the politics department deficit on the Day Nursery was allowed the election to stand with the triumphersonite disqualified, ced­ £22,000 last year, and this year is ing victory to Ian Jackson giving him extremes of fury and elation in the projected to be around £20,000. The academic members of same evening but leaving the beaten Dave Hollings with only fury and THE L A ST SUPPER IN THE D A Y NUR SE R Y I . deflation. Council, particularly Mr. Jack Dineley, a lecturer in the Depart­ cial argument simply doesn’t hold ensure that Day Nursery facilities the closure decision, Generally, the results establish very much not just a transfusion of ment of Electrical and Electronic water when you consider that the were not subsidised out of public The S.R.C. has a mandate to new blood but almost a total eight-pint swap for the Union with the Engineering, were at pains to University recently allocated over funds. consider taking “ appropriate wise old head of Simon Spalding to preside over these two newly emphasise the point that at a time £17,000 to landscape the Play­ This argument seems to fall action” to keep the Day Nursery elected Executives of great potential but limited experience. when the University’s income was house car park. That money could down in the light of the fact that a open. Student Officers were con­ contracting the Nursery was an have been spent on keeping the number of other Universities in sidering the options open to them expensive service to provide. Nursery open. I’m also disgusted the country are subsidising their on Monday evening, and, even Mr. Simon Spalding, Students’ that they refused even to consider Nurseries and have not incurred though feelings were understand­ Representative Council Vice Pres­ moving the Nursery into cheaper sanctions from the University ably running high, the possibility EMPTY NEW ident for Welfare and one of the accommodation which could have Grants Committee. of student led direct action which student representatives on Coun­ been provided in the old Library Professor Martin did recognise may involve an occupation, looks VICTORY FOOD cil, put over the S.R.C.’s point of and Medical School when they the problems that would be caused extremely likely. It seems like rather an In a bid to attract much empty triumph to report a needed custom to the Ref­ victory on a welfare issue ectory, a new facility for NORVID BANNED SILLY POLY this week in the light of the private luncheons will soon As part of their Grants Campaign, Newcastle Polytechnic decision on the day nursery be available. have occupied the main switchboard and their adminis­ reported above but celeb­ The Union Society Discip­ was allowed to come in to the tration building. The decision was taken at a meeting on Since the closure of the old building to attend such meetings ration is still in order over Level II there has been very little linary Committee met for as would be necessary as he had Monday and 50 volunteers immediately occupied the the announcement of the space for private luncheons. the second time this term been elected Publicity and Events Director’s Suite and the telephone switchboard. Government’s decision on Therefore, the University last Wednesday evening. Officer for next year. Three General Meetings vetoed occupation, but left the option for embodied a change which has The next two cases resulted the Executive to take such action which understandably, they have fees for overseas visitors manifested itself in creating a new The first case to be heard by done. The Polytechnic are already following National Union of Stu­ on the National Health the Committee concerned an inc­ from a fight at a level six disco a dining area in the Ballroom which few weeks ago. dents proposals for the week, by writing to M.P.’s and becoming inv­ Service. will hopefully meet the demands ident which took place after one olved in .today’s area demonstration, but they have also taken this As “Courier” has been report­ which we were unable to cope of the Bandstand events last term. Mr. Ashley Thom and Mr. Paul further independent decision to occupy, because in the words of Sidi were involved in an argument ing for some time, the original with last year. It was said that the organiser of Polytechnic President, Rob Thorpe, “We felt that direct action was proposal put torward was to about rugby. At a particularly necessary.” The new development will be the event, Mr. Marek Norvid, heated point in the argument Mr. charge all overseas visitors to Bri­ able to cater for a wide field — accused Mr. Andy Kitching, The move has, however, been severely-criticised by N.U.S. who feel tain — indeed all non-British res­ Thom head-butted Mr. Sidi in the that this kind of action will not only win students bad publicity, but also available for both staff and stu­ Union Publicity and Events face and the two were separated. idents — for using the Health Officer of slurring his reputation that it suggests that their only complaint is with the 4% grant incre'ase Service. A large campaign (organ­ dents. Initially there will be three Later in the gents toilets on level dining rooms, each with a capac­ by calling him an “ embezzler” in and not with other allied issues involved in this campaign. N.U.S. stres­ ised by NUS and supported by 6 the argument flared up again sed that the Week of Action is also to express student feeling about ity for 20 people and this still front of his fiancee. Mr. Kitching the Health Service unions) was and Mr. Alex Owen who was parental contributions, discretionary grants and grants for 16-18 year leaves about half the Ballroom denied this and Mr. Norvid, who drunk at the time entered the mounted to overturn the prop­ space which will still be available was obviously upset, then started olds. osed move and, although the toilets and came out with a A spokesperson from N.U.S. explained: “It’s difficult enough to get for a further 80/100 places. a fight which resulted in Mr. broken nose. basic proposal is now to go ahead, Kitching sustaining several bruises across that we’re not just talking about the main rate of grant, without overseas students have been exe­ The systems main principle is and a tom shirt. Mr. Owen was found guilty of simplifying it in this way.” mpted from the scheme, at least its flexibility and is seen by Mr. drunken behaviour and was Tne decision to occupy is also likely to create further trouble within temporarily. George Elliott, the University’s Mr. Norvid was found guilty of admonished. the Polytechnic, as it will give further strength to A.N.U.S. who have This constitutes a major victory Catering Officer as a valuable behaving in a disorderly fashion. Mr. Thom was found guilty of called an Extraordinary General Meeting for Wednesday to show their for the national union and proves addition to existing services and it He was ordered to pay £10.00 drunken and disorderly behaviour disapproval of this unilateral action. The occupation increases the again that, contrary to last term’s is hoped that as many students for Mr. Kitching’s shirt and he - and being violent and he was chance of the A.N.U.S. motion being passed and if so will add further arguments, NUS can be effective and staff as possible fully utilise was banned from the Union until fined £20.00 and banned from the to the already entrenched differences between the Polytechnic Execu­ in changing government policy. the service on offer. the end of term, except that he Union for a year. tive and the growing A.N.U.S. faction. §ue Crawford

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Delius’ short piece, ‘On Hear­ ing the First Cuckoo in Spring’. Although evocative at times with some excellent SINFONIA wind-playing as usual, there A varied menu of music was The highlight of the concert was a feeling of tentativeness on offer for Wednesday and insecurity throughout the AfterHALL recent criticism of Courier BALL came as the main course, be had, though unfortunately I crowd were duly dragged on stage night’s Northern Sinfonia con­ surely the salmon among the work. coverage of events in Castle forgot my Aran sweaters and by Neptune to partake in his cert at the City Hall. trout, Natalia Gutman playing The cheese board saw the Leazes such as Shiva, who was I to pipe- magic and this earned more With guest conductor Rudolf Shostakovitch’s cello concerto, serving up of the same old turn down an invitation to the The poet didn t leave any applause, no doubt because of his Swartz, they played an hors No. 1 in E flat. This Russian Austrian smoked, Hayjln annual Freeman’s Hall Ball last impression, however his act was penchant for Teutonic females. symphony No. 97. The Syn- Friday armed with an open mind witnessed by a small but apprecia­ At one stage Neptune almost d’oeuvre of Mozart’s overture woman must be one of the and a balanced opinion. tive crowd. keeled over — some may attri­ to the ‘Marriage of Figaro’. ■ most talented young cellists in fonia seems keen on perform­ ing Haydn symphonies, not This was a multi-media event, Johnny Neptune, the magician, bute this to old age, I attribute it The soup came in the form of the world at the moment, and comprising a poet, a jazz band, a appeared at first to be blind to a surfeit of whisky. Perhaps he Boccherini’s symphony in C I have certainly never seen an just because they are a small magician, videos, a disco, a dance drunk and incapable, yet per­ needed it. minor. There was some audience so enraptured. Her orchestra, but also because group and the almost legendary formed adequately the standard Coincidental with Neptune's lethargic playing, or perhaps performance almost flawless they do play them quite well. Arthur 2 Stroke and the Chart tricks and received enthusiastic sorcery, the Panama Jazz Band conducting, in the pastorale and always full of zest and This was the case on Wednes­ Commandos. Real ale was also to applause. Two members of the began playing a set of varied jazz. and minuet and trio but brilliance, seemed to inspire day night with the exception of They are obviously good at what once the end was in sight with some poor string playing, at they do, although that is no jus­ the Sinfonia who rose to the tification of what they are doing. the finale, things began to be occasion. times resembling the sound of more enei^etic and took the a brillo pad on a dirty pan, in WHAT’S ON They once supported the Beatles The descent, perhaps some­ ABC HAYMARKET twenty years ago in the Cavern — lighter vein that should prevail the second movement. Halloween II (x) 3.25 (Not Sun.), 5.05, 8.55 that is their only claim to fame. in this work. thing of an anti-climax, was C.J.C. The Errand (aa) 2.25 (Not Sun.), 5.10, 7.55 The less said about the Panama ABC WESTGATE ROAD Jazz Band the better. 1. Arthur (a) 2.25 (Not Sun.), 5.10, 7.50 Tucson (u) 3.20 (Not Sun), 6.00, 8.45 After this trip into the past, I 2. The Exorcist (x) 3.50, 8.25 sauntered into the disco — the 111-met by Moonlight The Omen (x) 1.40 (Not Sun.), 6.10 records were interspersed with ODEON FILM CENTRE videos of Thin Lizzy, which to be larly difficult when a large prop­ 1. Sun, Mon, Thurs, Fri & Sat blunt were appalling. Phil Lynott With a rather overgenerous rise to some startlingly quick Sleeping Beauty (u) 3.20, 6.10, 9.00 was giving us all a reason to stay changes, the two worlds springing ortion of them are written in Pablo and the Dancing Chihuahua (u) 1.50 (Not Sun.), 5.25, 8.55 supply of frozen carbon diox­ rhymed couplets. Jane Carr des­ well away from his type of music ide and a liberal sprinkling of against each other with breathtak­ Tuesday Only by his macho apings of Jimi Hen­ ing directness. erves special mention whose Woodstock (x) 2.10, 7.10 magic courtesy of Mr. Ali performance as Hermia had that Wednesday Only drix. It was sad, my darlings, truly The success of this idea was due sad. At this point I saw the Rev Bongo, the RSC began their in large part to the skill of Mike natural balance of vigour and res­ White Rock (a) 2.00, 5.00, 8.00 Newcastle season with “ A traint that her role required. Genesis in Concert (a) 3.35, 6.35, 9.35 Hip leave with his head in his Gwilym as the duke of Athens/ 2. Heavy Metal (aa) 1.50 (Not Sun.), 5.25, 8.55 An equally satisfying use of hands. The disco, in contrast, was Midsummer Night’s Dream” , king of the Fairies, an actor of vast Caddyshack (aa) 3.30, 7.00 excellent, the best of British pop a production that has received vocal power and assured pres­ judgement characterised the rude 3. Christiane F (x) 2.35 (Not Sun.), 5.20, 8.10 mechanicals’ scenes. Their was played and loved by such glowing critical praise ence. His vociferous portrayal of Dream Doll (x) 2.05 (Not Sun.), 4.55, 7.40 everyone. As we all danced wildly incompetence of putting on their 4. Fort Apache: the Bronx (aa) 2.30 (Not Sun), 5.25, 8.20 that its run has been extended Oberon’s violent and often sadis­ Jack Cardiff s 1968 film ‘Girl on a play was delightful and hilarious, Hot Gossip (x) 1.50 (Not Sun.), 4.45, 7.40 an extra week at the cost of tic manipulation of his subjects Motorcycle (Naked Under was brilliantly tempered by his without any irritating need for STUDIOS 2-3-4 2. Gregory's Girl (a) 1.55 (Not Sun.), 5.15, 8.40 Leather)’ teetered onto the video unpatriotically ousting sense of boyish fun. Though mindless slapstick and extraneous “ Henry IV Part I” . ' business. Geoffrey Hutchings was Rising Damp (a) 3.30, 6.50 screen without audible sound. perhaps less convincing in convey­ 3. The Warriors (x) 3.35, 6.55 No-one watched, bar those find­ It is not difficult to understand ing his guilty pity and, as Theseus an achingly funny Bottom, totally Friday the Thirteenth Part II (x) 2.05 (Not Sun.), 5.20, 8.45 this optimistic faith. Under Ron unaware of the fact that he had ing a leather-clad Marianne Faith­ at the start of the play, the nerv­ 4. Mondo Erotica (x) 1.30 (Not Sun.), 4.25, 7.20 ful erotic. Daniel’s spirited and exuberant been turned to an ass. Confessions of a Prostitute (x) 2.55 (Not Sun.), 5.50 ousness of a groom-to-be, his per­ After this, those who don’t find direction, Shakespeare’s play formance was the pivotal centre The only real weakness of the TYNESIDE CINEMA becomes a glittering showpiece of production was in the presenta­ Public Cinema 1 leather-clad girls fulfilling had the around which the play revolved. Mar 1-6 Southern Comfort (x) 5.30, 8.55 chance to see more trash as we theatrical expertise, a hugely A similar actor/director collab­ tion of the fairy minions as pup­ enjoyable voyage through the var­ pets. Though at first a welcome The Driver (a) 7.20 were supplied with the standard oration lead to one of the play’s Mar 6 The Passenger (a) & Coma (aa) 11 pm schoolgirl look of Bizzaz. Bizzaz ious conflicting incarnations of most refreshing strengths. The contribution to the overall visual Mar 7 „ Apocalypse Now (x) 5.20, 8.05 love, the romantic and the magnificence, their novelty value and the above film began to sour presentation of the absurdly star- Mar 8-13' The Tragedy of a Ridiculous Man (aa) 6.30, 8.45 the whole proceedings as they ridiculous, the frightful and the crossed lovers — Hermia, Lysan- gradually wore off and their Public Cinema 2 grotesque. Mar 3-4 Union Maids (a) 7.30 both reeked heavily of sexist exp­ der, Helena and Demetrius — appearances became increasingly loitation at the basest level. Of The interdependence of the less enjoyable. Norma Rae (aa) 8.20 rescued them from the usual Mar 5 The Creature From the Black Lagoon (a) 7.30 course the average viewer (white, world of the mortals and that of embarassing banality, and they However, this is only a minor the fairies is underlined by the. old Revenge of the Creature (a) 8.55 male and very drunk) loved every came across, if not quite as cred­ problem, and in no way detracts Mar 6 It Came From Outer Space (a) 6.30 seedy minute of Bizzaz, it was RSC trick of employing only one ible human beings, as lively and from the play’s success. “ A Mid­ The Creature From the Black Lagoon (a) 7.55 actor to play both nominal figures nauseating. Pass the sickbag engaging types. The performances summer Night’s Dream” disp­ Revenge of the Creature (a) 9.20 Alice! of authority, Thesues and Obe- Mar 7 Petulia (x) 6.30 achieved that most elusive of ide­ layed all the intelligence and viv­ My personal favourite of the ron, and one actress for the roles acity that is associated with the McCabe and Mrs. Miller (x) 8.20 als, speaking Shakespeare’s lines Mar 8 The Importance of Being Earnest (u) 7.30 whole evening then appeared — of Hippolyta and Titania. This not without obscuring the sense or RSC, and is well worth its extra only adds the magic coherence to Mar 9-10 In Which We Serve (u) 6.30 Teddy Anteater. Alone on stage destroying the poetry — particu­ week. with an inverted, untuned guitar the play as a whole, but also gave Craig Mason THEATRE Odd Man Out (a) 8.30 THEATRE ROYAL and nothing else, Teddy began to The Royal Shakespeare Company bawl out pop songs all of which Mar 2-10 The Winter's Tale 7.15 were tuneless. This was of course Mar 11-13 A Midsummer Night's Dream 7.15 Anti-Pop and needless to say he (matinees Wed and Sat, 2.00) was lambasted and booed by GULBENKIAN STUDIO almost everyone there for churn­ The Royal Shakespeare Company Mar 1-10 The Twin Rivals 7.15 ing out the same ‘noise’ as Thin Mar 11-13 A Doll's House 7.15 Lizzy had just done — this just (matinees Wed and Sat, 2.00) went to show how awful Thin NEWCASTLE PLAYHOUSE Lizzy are, and secondly how Until Mar 6 The Curse of the Werewolf 7.30 ignorant the punters were — the Mar 11-27 Private Dick 7.30 joke was on them. Arthur 2 Stroke and the Chart Commandos were lively, fun, brassy and bouncy, no pretentions reservations, just dance, dance, TYNEWEAR THEATRE COMPANY presents dance music. They were wonder­ ful and should be very big soon. In summary then, I can look by back on this event with mixed THE CURSE PfTHE feelings. Some parts I loved such as the disco, Teddy Anteater and Arthur 2 Stroke, others I loathed — I think you know who you are. It was an ambitious event but I wouldn’t pay two quid and go WWW through all of it again for a very 11 FEB. - 6 MARCH. Tub. - Sits at 7 JQpm. Mat. 16 Feb. 1.45pm long time. Student concession £2.20 for all performances John Douglas GULBENKIAN STUDIO (Student standby: £1.50 from 12 noon on the day of Newcastle University Theatre Society in 1 ■ Jues., Wed., performances) 'GUTTERSPIKE' by Andrew Quick Thursday, March 4th — Friday, March 5th VOLUME RECORDS at 1.10 p.m. — 70p NOW IN STOCK AT THESE PRICES . . . a funny and tragic play B52's Mesopotamia ...... £3.59 Hall & Oates — Private Eyes ...I...... £3.99 Orange Juice — Hide Your Love...... £3.99 Tickets are still available for Van Morrison — Beautiful Vision...... £3.99 Simple Minds — Celebration...... £3.99 Haircut 1 0 0...... £3.99 Pig B a g ...... £3.99 'MONEY' Lou Reed — Blue M ask...... £3.99 by Edward Bulwer-Lytton Colin Newman — Not t o ...... £4.39 Theatre of Hate — Westworld ...... £3.99 15th — 20th March and Black Uhuru — Tear it U p ...... £3.99 XTC — English Settlement ...... £4.29 26th — 31st March Tickets for local gigs — independent stockists — blues — jazz — electronic and 'A DOLLS HOUSE' lotsa albums from a quid by Henrik Ibsen 30 Ridley Place 5th — 10th April Newcastle Tel. 321678 PLUS R.S.C. LATE NIGHT AND LUNCH-TIME SHOWS A friendly independent on Further details available from the Studio. Tel. 329974 your doorstep Wednesday, 3rd March, 1982 THE COURIER 3

and others were laid back, funky and limp. Orange Juice on the other hand, were a different prosposi- JAFFA tion entirely — they were fault­ Surgical Sequel less. Edwin s vocals were power­ The spectacular box office suc- The Soul Kitchen was recently Orange Juice are perfectly natural ful without being forceful; it was a and maintain a stage presence sweet, almost beautiful sound, ces of John Carpenter’s Hal­ host to Scotlands very own consistently complemented by Orange Juice, ex of the Post­ that so many other bands would loween (made in 1977 on a love to have. Orange Juice have a impressive guitar work, reminis­ budget of 300,000 dollars and card label, who must be kick­ cent of the Velvets circa 1967. ing themselves for leaving the fresh, energetic and enthusiastic grossing 10 million in U.S. approach, in contrast to most The songs themselves (such as rentals alone) was largely res­ stable door open; the horses other bands, especially synthesiser L.O.V.E., Upwards and Onwards, have well and truly bolted, but Falling and Laughing, Louise ponsible for the glut of cheaply plagiarists and soulless Salsa wal- made horror films which have thankfully they ran in our lies who are devoid of any true Louise and I’ll take you there as direction. feeling. well as spme new unrecorded been choking the cinema cir­ On stage Orange Juice gave the Support band Dislocation songs) were received with cuits over the past few years. impression of being a nervous, Dance played an adequate, but approval, albeit nervously by an Some of these films are minor almost band next door assemb­ not memorable set, consisting of audience who could have given classics of the genre (Joe lage, constantly checking the the usual brass section and jerky more. Dante’s The Howling for exa­ rhythms midsong (possibly to pre­ guitar. (Have these bands heard The sound of Orange Juice was mple), but most of them vent embarrassment and rejection of Muscle Shoals?) A few of the the sound of a band enjoying themselves — what more needs to (Phantasm, Don’t Answer The by the audience!). It could be songs reminded us of the muzak Phone etc) are nothing more possible to mistake their approach that you hear on BBC-2 be said? The Rev Hip documentaries on hang-gliding, than shoddy pieces of exploita­ as contrived amateurism yet John Douglas tion. Nevertheless even bad horror movies seem to draw a large audience, so it was perhaps inevitable that Hal­ loween Two (now showing We all know about the music Aztec Camera and Orange times than I care to rem­ ABC Haymarket) should have scene in Newcastle — it very Juice. The Soul Kitchen is not ember, things are picking up been made. often builds you up just to put only concerned with bands — now though, the whole thing This time the malevolent you back down again, it’s not this became clear after talking seems to be catching the masked marauder of the orig­ often as straightforward, hon­ to Keith Armstrong, one of the public’s imagination. inal film is stalking the cor­ est and satisfying as it could architects of the venue. Courier - How do you get ridors of Haddonfield Memor­ be. O.K.,' you can see good Courier — What is the idea the bands and why do you ial Hospital in search of bands at the City Hall (such as behind the Soul Kitchen? choose the bands you do? Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee “ Send the next patient in, please, nurse” Keith - The bands are Curtis) who is being treated UB40, Teardrop Explodes and Keith: Basically there’s not The Jam) yet these bands obtained via the usual chan­ for the wounds which she rec­ introduce some variety into is at these points—when the much going on for young peo­ nels — the bands chosen are eived from him earlier that the proceedings, Carpenter imagination is given full rein often use Newcastle as a show­ ple, and especially for non­ case for just another date on a genuinely different, not aping same night as shown in Hal­ (who co-wrote the screenplay, — that one’s pulse begins to students. We’re trying to get national trends and are origi­ loween. On his bloodthirsty but did not direct) has his quicken. national tour — they neither away from the big promoter expect nor give anything to nal. The aim of the Soul quest the killer disposes of the masked killer slash people However when we are type scene and to do away with Kitchen is to catch your ima­ entire hospital staff and sev­ with scalpels, brain them with shown everything (a grisly Newcastle other than what the hype, making the Soul they must. Members of said gination but we don’t want to eral other miscellaneous hammers, drown them in boil­ close-up of the charred rem­ bands have to be reminded by Kitchen a focal point for less turn it into a bloody great characters. By the end of it all ing water or pierce their eyes ains of a corpse, a body lying tour managers where they are well known but equally impor­ monster. the body count is in double with hypodermic needles. in a pool of blood) terror playing so they can say “ Hello tant bands. Courier - Most of the bands figures. The explicit and almost gives way to disgust. It is not Newcastle” instead of “ Hello Courier — But the Soul aren’t local though, are they? Unfortunately this sequel sadistic manner in which enough for a horror film to Mmm” — see what I mean? Kitchen isn’t just music, is it? Keith - We’ve put on the manages to stumble into every director Rick Rosenthal rec­ repulse its audience by A much more honest and Keith - No, it’s also a venue Green Eyed Children and Dis­ pitfall that the original film so ords these Slayings is the cinematic trickery, yet, ulti­ enjoyable approach has been for visual as well as aural art, location Dance with other deftly avoided. Halloween was film’s great weakness. The mately, this is all that Hal­ available in Newcastle since for example the slideshow at bands — there’s a lot of talent subtle, often wryly amusing, best moments in Halloween loween Two has to offer. For October ‘81, namely The Soul the Aztec Camera Valentine’s in Newcastle and hopefully the but always terrifying. Hal­ 7woi(and indeed in any horror anyone who has seen Hal­ Kitchen. A lot of you may evening and the ‘Severance’ Soul Kitchen has been a loween Two is crass, unneces­ film) are those which are loween this sequel is bound to already know about The Soul show. focal point for some of this tal­ sarily gory and, for the most understated. The camera lurks be a disappointment and for Courier - How did you get the ent. We’ve put on events that part, distasteful. It exhibits a menacingly in dark corridors, Kitchen, having been to the Soul Kitchen into operation? those unlucky enough to have Casablanca and the Bierkeller have been different and enter­ disturbing delight in the rid­ gliding stealthily through missed the original, it is a poor to see such bands as Fire Keith-By putting a lot erf our taining — you can even hear iculously diverse means by shadows with the animal-like substitute. Engines, Jazzateers, The money into it! We’ve been up Frank Sinatra on the disco. which the victims meet their breathing of the killer Bluebells, A Certain Ratio, the creek financially more John Douglas end. Indeed, in an attempt to dominating the soundtrack. It Kevin Rutherford

M m r by GOSCINNY and UDERZO Hodder & Stoughton

flM U STK N O W (WHAT THOSE GAULS> ^ y\RE upro/Af j

s h u © Editions ALBERT-RENE, HILARIOUS JOKES. BITING SATIRE. STINGING M T ! GOSCINNY & UDERZO, 1981 4 THE COURIER Wednesday, 3rd March, 1982 UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE When everybody was first drinks before we ate. names, smiled a lot and gave us room trying desperately to answer through a wide range of confi­ them to beat Hull so that we coming to University their Taking full advantage of the keys to our dressing rooms (one the questions — and succeeding. dence building exercises and could play each other in an preferred facilities, Mike Prollins between the men and one sepa­ The problem was that Brenda s calming everybody down. enjoyable contest neither side' Aunt/Great Aunt/Grand­ and I headed off to watch “Dr. rate for Brenda) which, via a nerves were so great she was Seeing as I need a couple of would mind losing. For the final parents said: “Look for­ Who" and then we hit the town quick unguided tour of the mod­ bubbling all over the room shout­ drinks to get my mind working time, we returned to the studio to ward to seeing you on — once we found it. ern corridors and studios, we ing out the answers and the first and I thought we could do with sit in the' audience for the ‘University Challenge’.” The principle was pretty sound safelv located. Very impressive real threat to a pleasurable game leaving the studios for a while, I Hull/Oxford clash. At least mine did and, a — find a cheap Chinese restaur­ they were too, especially when had appeared: panic. Fortunately, led our despondent band to the One final point I forgot to men­ ant and eat and drink as far as our one looked at the Dressing Room Paul and I had decided it was our pub. We had about two hours tion: the set for “University Chal­ quick straw poll reveals, so estimate of Granada’s expenses List and saw all the Big Names job to keep everybody else in the before we had to perform, an lenge” occupies half a studio, the did the relatives of most of allowed. In practice, we found the who were in the neighbouring right psychological state since, as hour and a half until Hull played other half containing the set for my friends. Totally against eight most expensive Chinese res­ rooms. irresistible amateur hams, stage Oxford in the first game. When “Crown Court”. As a last psyche my expectations, I ended taurants I’ve ever seen and then Having been promised free fright was a pleasure to us and not we got there, I fed the juke box up, I wandered onto the other set took an hour and a half to locate lunch in the canteen later, we at all disturbing. and we settled in for a couple of and delivered a stirring prosecu­ up actually fulfilling that a cheap pizzeria wherein Mike headed for the shops just to kill So off we trotted for the “first stiff ones (at least in my case) tion speech for ten minutes. The imposed dream and so, and I demonstrated the tremend­ time and soothe Brenda who had stagger rehearsal”. This is a ten- before our coming ordeal. Fairly defendant was hanged. being a self-indulgent, ous scope of our appetites and been refused permission to visit minute game to give the side a soon, Brenda made it clear she Sitting watching was great fun: big-headed sort of person, everybody else showed how bor­ the local museum. The first signs feel of conditions and the cameras wanted to go back to the studios answering the questions before ing they felt like being by refusing of real nerves now began to show: a chance to check their position­ and to meet our travelling support the competing teams did wonders I thought it might be inter­ to share a bottle of wine with me. I kept doing silly things like run­ ing. For this the questions are who were just arriving as Brenda for us and all our arrived friends esting to take you through Paul obliged however so I at least ning into Sports shops to play asked by a Blonde Researcher and I got back to the complex. kept smiling at us. Joyously, the experiences of the was fairly merry by the time with their cricket bats, Pete who is just as much exactly what The very presence of friendly Oxford vanquished Hull so we Newcastle team when we another taxi returned us to the bought an expensive poster and you’d expect as the Producer was, faces carrying our copies of were to play them in our big hotel. Brenda stopped insulting me only maybe moreso. That first “Courier” was a boost we chance for fame and stardom. went down to record next Gingerly we sat in the chairs. Sunday’s programme a few Not wanting to go into too weeks ago. much detail about the mechanics of the game we played (you can Competition for places on the see for yourselves at 1.00 on Sun­ team was hardly over-tough: only day), I will confine myself to my about seventy people applied for reactions which, unaccountably, the initial tests to produce four consisted of unremitting glee, participants and a travelling res­ smiling inanely, and one moment erve. Finally, the day before we of absolute horror which you will actually left for Manchester, Paul see on Sunday. Femandez-Montes was assigned The time flew by, the result the position of reserve leaving came out and we had done well Pete Almond (as captain), Mike and so we went back for our free Prollins, Brenda Stephenson and booze and sandwiches with myself to actually perform. PROLLINS STEPHENSON Bamber. Gin flowed freely, The Wednesday recording con­ MORRELL bonhomie abounded (particularly sists of two matches between once Hull had left early) and we three teams: the previous week’s got pleasantly drunk, bade a fond winners play the first match farewell to our new friends from against one new team and then NEWCASTLE Oxford and stayed chatting with the winner of that game take on a The Man Himself ( knocking back third side. We had orders to be at the whisky at a rate of knots) dis­ the Granada studios by 2.00 p.m. covering, after all, that he was a at the absolute latest but, seeing very pleasant guy and very there was a rail strike on, it approachable. Finally it was time seemed only natural to take the we joined our supporters and train fare the Company were so headed back for Newcastle. kindly offering us and go down Naturally we got stuck in the car the day before, staying (again at park and nearly missed the coach Granada’s expense) in a hotel but we piled on just in time. That’s about it. We achieved overnight. THE TEDDY’S THE ONE WITH THE BRAINS All we knew as we set off was our object of making money and that we intended to thoroughly enjoying ourselves, fll not forget enjoy ourselves and so, lightly those days in a hurry nor the tre­ laden with necessities (Encyc­ It was then that things finally (playfully) for the first time ever. game we actually won, beating needed: 1 sent some of Pete’s mendous feeling of camaraderie lopaedias, cigarettes and playing started hotting up for, resplendent After our lightning spree, it was Oxford. However, our flaws also friends to the pub to cheer him up generated between us. If you ever cards) we took the Metro to the about the bar, were The Opposi­ back to the studios for our freebie became evident: there was no and then went back to the dres­ get a chance to appear yourself, station where I proceeded to hor­ tion: Hull University and Univer­ lunch which was good, copious argument between us that Pete sing room with Brenda. Prior to do so but don’t take it too seri­ rify my fellow travellers by buying sity College Oxford. and gave Mike a chance to was the really brainy member of that we had met Oxford and ously, I know I didn’t. seven Agatha Christie novels as Rapidly the three teams polar­ demonstrate a horrifying pen­ the team, the one who might poss­ mutually agreed that we wnated Nick Morrell. they stood around waiting to ised info Us and Them, Us being chant for rice pudding. ibly have taken us to victory. board the train, all of us clutching Newcastle and Oxford both At two o’clock, all three teams However, even in that first reh­ our half-price single tickets which, unanimous in our dislike of the each gathered for their first brief­ earsal, Pete’s nerves mastered for the purposes of claiming exp­ aloof, anti-social and Serious ing session, preceded by the dol: him and it wasn't until right at the enses, were to mysteriously team from Hull who stayed prop­ ing out of £43 expenses. Seeing end of the second rehearsal — become full-price returns. ped at the bar passing snide com­ our only necessary expenditures which we lost to the detested Hull The train journey was some­ ments in an attempt to psyche Us had been £6.50 train fare, this that he unfroze at all and began what fraught. We played cards for out while we drank and chatted, was more than reasonable. to exert his cerebellum to any a while, discussed our forthcom­ unconcerned about the subse­ Then the Producer came in, effect. ing ordeal and the rest of them quent contest. As I finally headed looking just like you’d expect a After a third “stagger” rehearsal spent long periods of time listing for bed, one of the Hull team Producer to look (short, fat, between the other two sides, we all the monarchs (and consorts) of unjovially sniped “You’re a beard and bow-tie to the fore), returned to our previous room for England since the Norman Con­ pissed-up little sod”. That sum­ sounding just like a Producer tea and sandwiches and to finally quest. I read “Death in the med up their idea of fun and fair ought to sound (rolling jolly meet Bamber. That is, Bamber Clouds” and made scathing com­ play pretty succinctly. upper-class accent), and ogling was there but we didn't actually ments: nerves affect different Now a warning: never share a Brenda just like you’d expect a get to meet him: at first he was people different ways being the room with Paul Fernandez- Producer to. He starts giving us chatting to The Producer and we old adage we, seemed intent on Montes. Not only does he snore the pep talk, briskly, efficiently, began yet another chaotic game proving. but he also grinds his teeth in his avoiding little questions like of cards which, when Bamber We were all subdued by the sleep. I got all of two hours kip “When do we meet Bamber?” came over to talk to us, we ins­ time we reached Manchester to before springing alert for break­ and outlining what will happen isted on finishing despite his find to our mutual amazement fast. That is, I sprang alert until I for the rest of the day: Hull will promise to tell us a good gambl­ that it wasn’t actually raining, nor sat staring at a Great English play Oxford and then we will play ing story. even particularly cold. With vis­ Breakfast of bacon and eggs etc. the winners in the second match. Tea concluded, it was time for ions of vast expenses claims, we which suddenly left me feeling Before that there will be five reh­ the first dress rehearsal: Newcas­ piled into a taxi which took us rather ill. Although we’d got earsals, three short ones and two tle versus Hull for twenty minutes straight through picturesque hours to kill, we decided about full ones with the evanescent with Bamber and some fairly light Moss-side to the Glenaven Hotel,, eleven o’clock (when we had Bamber finally appearing to ask questions. We lost but only nar­ apparently very cheap but pleas­ finally all got up and “ Death in the questions. rowly but morale was not good as ant to look at and sporting a “We the Clouds ’ was just getting int­ Then he showed us the video we trooped off, complaining (par­ never close” bar, video games and eresting) that we would go to the they’d made of the previous ticularly Brenda) to get made-up. colpur T.V.’s in some of the studios (by taxi, of course) to get week's show when Imperial Col­ At this stage, an up-date on our rooms. Demonstrating a great acclimatised. lege London beat Reading by five states would probably be approp- natural sense of timing, we’d Granada television studios are points. It was at this point, for riate: Mike and I were arrived just in time for the bar's really rather nice. Walking nerv­ me, that the fun started going out philosophical, Pete broody and reopening after a quick siesta and ously through the front door, a of things a bit. There we all were, Brenda nervous and bubbly. Paul "But Dad, I must have education to better myself. How else so we settled down, for a couple of friendly commissionaire took our' sat around in the conference was now a great boon to us, going am I going to appear on University Challenge?" THIS SUNDAY Wednesday, 3rd March, 1982 THE COURIER 5

Sir, So Marilyn Little has survived having a go at god Readers and has moved into the big league. While I agree with OH GOD! much of what she wrote Sir, who had the unique advantage of considered as the royal, imperial last week about the con­ being the Boss’s son. This is not a and militant Jehovah, is only to How, why and what the gospel; it is a chronic hang up, a reinforce the pestiferous arrog­ duct of some of this year’s Letters hell was Ms. Snell trying to self frustrating guilt trip. It iso­ ance of white Christianity — with election campaigns, I am say last week in her letter lates the career of Jesus as an exh­ all the cruel self-righteousness of surprised at her objection ibit in a glass case — for worship its missionary zeal. defending Campus but not for use. , They may perhaps be forgiven to students having the right THE FAN CLUB Crusade and her myopic It is obvious to any informed .for their ignorance, but today, to sabbatical status for two view of Christianity? student of the history and when we are all exposed to all the years. Most Nobly Esteemed Sir, It is very comforting to play psychology of religion that Jesus riches of Earth’s varying cultures If she had simply criticised the Yea, though we walk through the streets of the Walled Bible Bingo as she did, pulling was one of many who had an int­ and religions, there is no further abuse of a position to promote City, we shall fear no evil, for Sir Kay watcheth over us, out quotes of the scriptures and ense experience of consciousness excuse for the parochial fanticism the cause of an individual who using them out of context to bols­ — of the vivid realisation that of spiritual in-groups. Our Christ­ happens to hold the office and yet what crusade carrieth him away in our hour of ter facile argument but it is true oneself is a manifestation of the ian friends of Ms. Snell are still in already, I would be with her all need? We have been besieged by Saxon hordes seeking neither to her faith nor her argu­ eternal energy of the universe the a state of enthusiastic innocence, the way. This year has seen an to rise in the Court of Shamelot and so desire solace in ment. basic “ I am” . But it is very hard as yet unaware of the frightful imp­ unpleasant battle for the Publicity the wisdom of our bard and soothsayer, the mighty Using the quote “Jesus Christ, to express this experience when lications of their claims but they and Events job which surely det­ the same, yesterday, today, fore­ the only religious images at your must realise that Christianity racted from the merits of all the prophet Sir Kay. ver” to denegrate the idea of an disposal conceives that ‘I am’ as would seem ever so much more candidates involved. We have sallied forth to the cavernous dungeons of Shamelot to lib­ improved Church is puerile. The an all knowing, all powerful valid if they would stop insisting erate our mentor and yet, to no avail. quote refers directly to the nature monarch, autocrat and benefi- on being an oddity. Christianity If she had criticised me person­ Barbarian hordes have penetrated the inner sanctum of Shamelot, of Christ not his Church. The cient, tyrant enthroned on a court has universality or catholicity, ally as a Deputy President rather bearing hollow promises and strange mystical names (Is the new court evangelical church follows a long of airborne adoring subjects. only in recognising that Jesus is than as a vegetarian pinball- jester at one of his new masters? Is there, we cry, Solidarity within the line of tradition both Protestant In such a cultural background, one particular instance and expre­ player I would have examined her Court?). and Catholic, wherein the gospel you cannot say “I am God with­ ssion of a wisdom which was also, criticism and tried to see what it Perchance we will cross paths with Sir Kay on our quest for the Holy (or good news) of Jesus has been out being accused of subversion if differently, realised in the Bud- contributed to the work of our Grants before the Druids in the Temple of Westminster. When will Sir Kay eclipsed and perverted by pedis- insubordination, megalomania, dah, Lao Tzu, and in such modem Union. return bearing the light of wisdom and understanding to his minions? talisation, by kicking him upstairs arrogance and blasphemy. The ovators as Ramana, Maharishi, But she seems to suggest that Nay verily, is he ever to return or is he banished to the wilderness (so to get mm out of the “way”) very reason why Jesus was elimi­ Aurobundo, Inayat Khan. her “straw poll” concerned the forever? Who will be the messenger, the courier of tidings from the and by following a religion about nated. This wisdom is that none of us principle of two-year sabbaticals. court? Or are we to be left in the shadow of ignorance on a Wednesday Jesus instead of the religion of In India people would have are brief island existences but This was a principle which our afternoon? Your most humble servants, Jesus. laughed and rejoiced with him, forms and expressions of one and Union officers have sought to The Arabian Knight It seems patently obvious that because Hindus know that we are the same external ‘I am’ waving in establish in order to give more Jesus was not who he was as a all God in disguise — playing hide different ways, such that, continuity to the work involved in Lady Catherine o f the Vittles result of making Jesus Christ his and seek with himself — one as whenever this is realised to be the running such a complex organisa­ The Scribe o f Muswell personal saviour. The religion of many and many as one. case, we wave more harmoniously tion, in the same way that we Sir Ben de Cheveux. Jesus was that he knew he was a But Jesus’ words were carried with other waves. have argued for and won the right son of God, and the phrase ‘son on the lips of others which dist­ On reading this, our ‘Christian for us to have five sabbatical of means ‘of the nature of so orted his words, so that they came friends’ will probably affect officers a year. that a son of God is an individual forth as the bombastic claim to prickly and astringent attitudes, I would also remind Marilyn Really Solid who realises that he is, and always the one and only appearance of may cluck, that this is woolly, that I was re-elected last year and has been one with God “I and the the Christ of the incarnation of imprecise, vague and sentimental. that anyone else had the chance Sir, by a single capitalism instead of Father are One”. God as man. This is not good But in the harsh clacking of their to stand against me to point out by the state. When Jesus spoke those words news! The good news is that if disciplined voices, accurate dist­ either my deficiencies or those of I feel real sorrow for J. The ruling bureaucracy exer­ the crowd took up stones to stone Jesus could realise his identity inctions and precise calculations, I any two-year post. Whether the Glass. Quite obviously cises a totalitarian dictatorship him. He said “I nave shown you with God so can others — but this hear the rattle of rifle bolts and votes I received then outweigh he/she fails to understand, over the working class using the many good works from the God does not have to be idolised the clicking of heels. “Like those the opinions expressed by her police and army in much the same Father, and for which do you as an imperious monarch with a mighty army moves the church of ersatz poll I leave her to decide. or refuses to understand way as in “right wing” dictator­ God”. But that is no way for a why the SWSO support stone me?” They answered, “We royal court of angels and minis­ As for the charge of careerism, ships such as Chile, Argentina are not stoning you for good works ters God, as ‘the love which Gentle-Man. there are in fact several openings Solidarity and the workers and Turkey. but for blasphemy, because you moves the sun and other stars’ is Perhaps the time has come for for trained journalists who have of Poland. If he/she had The struggle of Polish workers being a man make yourself God”. something much more inward int­ these Christian soldiers to put degrees in the agricultural sci­ is the same struggle as workers He replied “Isn’t it written in imate and mysterious — in the aside the armour of self righte­ ences. I happen to enjoy my work taken the trouble to read everywhere, it is a struggle against a ousness and the weapons of guilt any SWP literature on your Law that I have said you are sense of being too close to be and I feel I have something to system which spends billions on Gods” . seen as an object. mongering dogma acquired over a offer the Union. Unfortunately, Poland, Russia or any nuclear weapons whilst half the If he addressed those who he So it turns out, alas that our thousand years of religious imp­ the only way to be an experienced - Eastern bloc country, world starves, it is against a sys­ spoke to as Gods (You can’t con­ Campus Crusaders are following erialism and get to grips with officer is to have actually done he/she would realise that tem in which ordinary men and tradict scriptures), how could it the old non gospel of the freaky Jesus the man. Who found his the job. And surely even two women have no say in how their be blasphemy if all are Gods, to Jesus—of the bizarre man who true self as a carpenter, close to years cannot constitute a ‘career’. we believe these regimes to lives are run. SWSO and the SWP say “I am the Son of God?” But was unnaturally bom, and whose nature, in humility and gentle­ be state capitalist and not will continue to support the strug­ the self styled Christians, and corpse was miraculously reincar­ ness. In tune with humanity, not Having said all that, the elec­ gle of workers everywhere, as our especially the fundamentalist bib- nated for a space trip into heaven in a self satisfied fight against it. tions for our two Executives are Socialist. now over and whatever anyone For his/her benefit, I should slogan is and remains “Neither lioator, always insist that Jesus (one can of course interpret these Washington nor Moscow but Int­ was the ONLY son of woman thinks about the individuals who explain by State Capitalist we images in a more profound and Yours etc. ernational Socialism” . who was also the Son of God, and nonliteral way). But to identify were elected they will be the mean that what exists is a ruling officers of our Union next year. I bureaucracy which collectively Oh, and by the way, we hear so thus call upon us all to follow the Jesus the man as the one and only The Prophet much about how the FCS and the example of the one human freak historical incarnation of a divinity With apologies to Alan Watts. hope that all students will give “owns” the means of production, them the support they need and production is for profit (mostly to Tories support Solidarity, yet they never explain why they don’t sup­ that the officers will prove they des­ pay off debts to Western banks) erve it. I, for one, will do my best and not for need. The workers as port the workers of El Salvador, Chile, South Africa, Turkey etc. to pass on the knowledge I have in Britain have no say in how the ANSWERING CHARGES gained of the Union and the Uni­ etc.? wealth they produce is distri­ versity and to ensure that they are buted. It is because they seek to exp­ Sir, as Mr Jones pointed out, believe fiti, for or against the Iranian loit the Polish situation for their affairs, is categorically condemned given all the help they require Solidarity was a union bom out Recently a large amount o f graf­ that, while the University has pro­ from their predecessors. of years of struggle in Poland, it own political gain? Or is it fiti has appeared on the walls o f vided various facilities for poster by our society, and none o f our ~ was and is not an anti-socialist because they are just hypocrites the University. In connection with exhibition, notice boards, debating members have ever been involved whose support the workers of movement as what exists in this, an article was written in chamber, and even contributed in such unlawful activities. Yours sincerely, Poland need like a knife in the Executive Committee of Iranian Poland is not socialism, and I Courier dated 17th February, towards the cost of publicity Fred Blakey doubt very much if the workers in back? Solidarity for ever, defend 1982, by Alistair Jones. through responsible societies, to Student Society at Newcastle Uni­ Poland would seize control of our views east and west.yours etc We, on behalf o f the Iranian cover the walls by painting slogans versity their factories and then call for Yunus Bakhsh Society, share Mr. Jones’ concern o f any sort whatsoever, can only the privatisation of them in order Treasurer, Socialist Worker Stu­ and condemn with the strongest be interpreted as irresponsible, to for them to be happily exploited dent Organisation voice, any kind o f vandalism. We, say the least. We would also like to draw your attention to the fact that this graf­ fiti on the wall, has been written AN ARROGANT LETTER deliberately by certain students with certain political tendancies to deface University property and so to create a hostile anti-Iranian FROM GENTLE SECURITY atmosphere at this University. Once more, we feel it necessary Sir, the Head Porter and not it. Unfortunately we, the Security to emphasis that any sort o f graf­ As a Chief Security the Security Staff. Staff have come to expect this As for the petty ‘name calling’ abuse from some ungrateful peo­ Officer, I feel obliged to ple whilst they are under the inf­ reply to a certain letter by of one of our students, I feel a per­ POSTE HASTE sonal apology, from Mr. Turner luence of alcohol — it should not BUREAU Proudly a Mr. P. Turner, published would be in order. Any serious extend to their soberness. in last week’s Courier. For complaint about any Security ste­ I will expect, from you, Mr. 36 St. Mary's Place, Turner an apology with or without Presents future reference Mr. ward, should be addressed to Newcastle upon Tyne, 1 myself or M r. J, Carle bach via the a written complaint or application Turner, one of the doors of Sabbatical Secretary and will be form delivered to me personally, 'Tel. No. 328848/9 Thursday Film the Union, is always locked taken very seriously. As for Mr. within the week, anything else will Why not ask our advice Rocky Horror Picture Show Turner regarding us all as ‘self be considered as simply another about thesis, reports, at 10.25 and has been for irrelevant outburst. typing and duplicating. many years — this is Union important fools’, I suggest that if Room 27 - 70p policy and is carried out by he feels he is better suited to do Yours etc. Our charges are the job then he should apply to do N. Marr, reasonable. Thursday Chief Security Officer Society Disco MacDonalds” Level 6 MENS WEAR HIRE HUDSONS BOOKSHOP Student Community Action SERVICE LEVEL 5 11 BLACKETT STREET Exhibition of National Conference Friday Book now for that special Routledge Books Haircut 100 occasion. This Week Level 2 -£3.00 adv. Balls, Dances and Social MANCHESTER Functions. DINNER SUITS from UNIVERSITY Saturday £9.50 (inc. VAT) ROBINSON’S Friday Disco 1 OXdiscount on production BOOK SHOP o f Union Card. IN GRAINGER MARKET 12-14 March Level 2 - 80p Bow Tie, Shirts and all is worth a visit accessories available. Large stocks of new and second-hand books Seminars, workshop sessions Tel. Newcastle 327100 Phone: 322978 Details from S.C.A.N. THE COURIER Wednesday, 3rd March, 1982

MATHEW — Do you have flabby but­ RAMPANT JIM SEX SYMBOL OF GAMMA Am The Greatest Thing tocks? — The Two Rapists. LOWCALIBUR I'LL give that load of Malachy zeedol Since Sliced Bread of SHRIMPTON — Have you GROWN rec­ which so many have been PERSONAL ently? HMS Supplies. < * O t NICK MORRELL would like to apologise seen flying through the publicly to all those "friends" of his he skies lately, a great marvel, offended last week — that being said, he meant and means every word (Don't in the form of paper COLUMN I?) WHY has Christine got a sore throat. arrows aimed in wrath at C A W. IS COMING ADS: 2p per word, lOp minimum Keith? would be champions of the 8-13 MARCH 1982 At last I am tree. Free court. Not enough to pay What are you doing? from Sir Simon de for more than a paultry Learoyd’s constitutional serving of the mythical NIGHTLINE CALUNG ALL SCAN BABYSITTERS dungeons, free from the hideous tortures of endless chips of Shamelot; not Someone to telk to... enough for a sight — verily Meeting — Thursday, 4th March, 1.00 canvassing in the Quest for 612905 p.m. Room 27, Level 5 never a bite — of the or The Holy Sabbatical and all GILLIAN, Sally and Jane, Pancakes 8.00 p.m. - 6.00 a.m. 7.30 p.m. Gingerbread House Great Stone Stottie. anytime 16C. other positions of power Westgate Road, Poverty will surely fol­ Any night of term MARK from the Miners, how did the shaft Please attend and affluence. Free at last C.A.W. IS COMING in Shields go? low us all our days. Never 612905 8-13 MARCH 1982 THERE is a professor called JACKS though badly scarred and will Shamelot flourish What are you doing? Who doesn't half get up our backs THANKS A.V.F. for Tuesday morning. what do I find in the fair With his beady little eyes Happy Birthday Hopkinson and for all again. The armour of the OLWEN'S WATCH cost £215. And gaudy bright ties lands of Shamelot? An who voted. knights will tarnish from WE can't all, and some of us don't. He ought to be given the sacki MANY THANKS Adam — you're one in a insult to all the Lords and SMARMY BOY ADDISON — I like your SN2 ADAM'S END is red and I don't mean his STEWE (HH) Red lipsticks more your col­ million. Pip. lack of polish, the jousters mechanisms. Love and kisses DAVE. nosel It's here, it's there . . . our. FEUCIDADES B.J. LOVE D.J. AND HENRI. Ladies of the court: a four of court lose all their flair STEVE — what does Karen use the mon­ CLIVE can get his tool on 34101 's vacuum GEOFF — congratulations, you've been WILL KAREN go to any lectures this per cent increase in their key for? O. hose any time — Luv K. nominated pose of the year award! month? from lack of fodder, the VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR "C A N " DOUTHWAITE'S car — and example of D-DAY MARCH 15th — Will you be There IF I jumped into the Tyne would Richard fuedal dues. proud flags that fly high on COLLECTION OUTSIDE LOCAL Powdering Metallurgy. to face the Gunners? turn into Superman? A mere four per cent!! STORES. CONTACT KEVIN SCAN. RICHARD — whose next for the cheese JULIET is pleased to announce her forth­ the towers of Shamelot will STEVE (HH) have you been practising sit­ wire? coming purchase of a plate of chips. Twenty-two groats a day ting with your legs crossed. IVOR, and SANDRA, CATHY, DEBBIE. rot, dissolve and fade, unt­ TIM (HH) are you gay and proud of it? increase. Not enough to DEAR NIGHTSHIRT, You thought I KAREN, AND YOU WONDER WHY YOU A.W. (H.H.) HOLD THE ASHESI ended on twenty-two wouldn't do it, love Socksl HAS Jason Eloped with 45111. dream of mounting a tour­ R.I.P. KEITH'S BALL. WHAT does Richard mean by Labour groats a day. IT S never taken me so long to get so little nament. Why, twenty-two voters, cheese wire, being strung up Sir Kay, OKU — said she to her amateur reporter. and balls? DICK by name, DICK by nature! groats would scarce cover ANNE, do you really want Steve to Court Seneschal. C A W IS COM IN(i JOE wishes to thank all those who helped keep off your briefs?! Sir Smarmalot’s after shave and voted for him. Especially, Mike, 8 13 MARCH 1987 ANNE and DENISE — good luck with bill for a second; would not University Lucinda, Heather, Chris, Alistair and WI la t mu you iloiny/ the moots — CLAIRE. Corky. Hll GELIC is your halo still shining? buy Merlin a game of ye of Newcastle C.A.W. IS COMING WHAT WAS "Dinsdale the Plank" dangl­ Great “Flash Gordon”; upon Tyne ing on Saturday? would bearly provide Mor­ 8-13 MARCH 1982 TONY; is the coffee-jar empty yet? Too PUBLIC LECTURES UNIVERSITY FELL WALKERS What are you doing? bad! How about you and me having a JNGLETON WEEKEND gan la Fey with a cup of play on your space-craft sometime? tea (which hasn’t been inv­ Thursday 4 March DON'T be so obnoxious Keith. Samuel Pepys — diarist, March 5 — 7 ALL chemist/metallurgists unite — wear ented yet). TYNESIDE CINEMA (Three Peaks District) Jacko ties on Wednesday! P.S. We got public servant and collector For further details please see Union 14 zeroo's last Wednesday I Twenty-two groats a Robert C. Latham Noticeboard — Level 4. C.A.W. IS COMING CINEMA 1 CALLING Captain James T. Strickland of day!! Not enough to pay Pepys Librarian, Magdalene USS Armchair! 8-13 MARCH 1982 College, Cambridge. Mon 8 to Sat 13 March CHRISTOPHER! Behave yourself. What are you doing? for the traditional Bit of N.E. Premiere Paper Telling You Why I Curtis Auditorium Saturday 6 March 11.30 am BERTOLUCCI Dental School Founders and IN ITALIAN We Supply Cr Replace Zips in Benefactors Day Lecture by Baroness Gardner o f Parkes KIDNAP!! to be entitled The new Bertolucci film . c a r c o a t £3 Fair to the Fair — A Critique JEANS £1 ANORAKS £2 of Women in the Professions a m C.A.W. MEETING * We alter and repair Ladies’. Gent's and c h i l d r e n 's clothing,) including Leather, Suede and sheepskin etc. , (in the R. B. Green Lecture THE TRAGEDY OF Wednesday, * WE REPAIR & REPLACE ALL TYPES & SIZES 0f | Theatre, Dental School ) ZIPS A RIDICULOUS 3rd March OPEN ALL DAY SATURDAY Tuesday 9 March MAN (aa) S H IR T S £1 5.30 pm 6.30 & 8.45 5.15 p.m. Level 6 DON’T THROW YOUR OLD SHIRT AWAY! Inaugural Lecture (sep. perfs.) We will replace worn out collar in gleaming white or in| The Nature of Architecture "A comedy without laughs” the same colour as the shirt by Professor Ben Farmer — DAUMAM 190. WESTGATE ROAD moved from 26 January TICKETS BOOKABLE A . imrllilHIM Newcastle. Tei. 329636' 10/12 Pilgrim Street Curtis Auditorium Telephone 321507

NEWCASTLE’S We provide natural foods at VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT reasonable prices, including at "POLITICS AND IS: least 12 varieties of salad. TODAY! The hot dishes are mostly COMMUNITY ACTION1 unusual due to our deter­ mination to avoid convenience AREA RALLY foods and those containing obscure chemicals. Sheffield University Theakstons beers are sold, as SUNDERLAND well as a comprehensive select­ Saturday, March 6th ion of the better quality wines and spirits. Assemble at Open from 9.30 a.m. till Monkwearmouth College, SEE KEVIN FOR DETAILS. S.C.A.N PRINCESS SQUARE 10.30 p.m. every day except (back of Central Library) Sunday. Wallace Street, Sunderland. 2.15 p.m. or ANNUAL ELECTIONS meet outside the Union at SRC /Union Society 12.30 p.m. I HEREBY GIVE NOTICE OF ANNUAL ELECTIONS: Meetings FOR WEEK BEGINNING 3rd MARCH 5 -MARCH — 7 DELEGATES & 2 OBSERVERS TO N.U.S. CONFERENCE 9 MARCH — 12 MEMBERS OF ENTERTAINMENTS COMMITTEE GRANTS Wednesday 3 March THE FOLLOWING FACULTY REPRESENTATIVES ON 18 MARCH Education Committee 1.00 pm in Level 6 Committee Room AG RIC ULTURE...... ACTION WEEK ARCHITECTURE ...... BIOLOGICAL SCIENCE/PLANT BIOLOGY/GENETICS CHEMICAL ENGINEERING ...... Thursday 4 March CHEMISTRY/BIOCHEMISTRY...... Community Affairs CIVIL ENGINEERING ...... C0MBINE0 HONOURS ...... 1.00 pm in Level 6 Committee Room COMPUTING ...... FRIDAY Hustings for N.U.S. Delegates DENTISTRY ...... I ECONOMICS ...... 1.00 pm in the Debating Chamber I ELECTRICAL ft ELECTRONIC ENGINEERING...... ENGLISH/CLASSICS/ARCHAEOLOGY ...... FINE A R T/M U SIC...... NATIONAL Friday 5 March • FRENCH/SPANISH ...... GEOGRAPHY ...... Union Society Executive Committee GEOLOGY ...... DEMONSTRATION GERMAN/SCANDINAVIAN STUDIES...... 12 noon in Level 6 Committee Room HISTOR(IRY ...... S.R.C. Elections, 7 Delegates & 2 Observers to HUMANANITIES/PSYCHOLOGY/PHILOSOPHY R.S ...... LONDON LAW ... NUS Conference MATHS/STATISTICS ...... MECHANICAL ENGINEERING ...... M EDICINE ...... Monday 8 March MINING ENGINEERING/METALLURGY...... Coaches from Morden NAVAL ARCHITECTURE/SHIPBUILDING/MARINE ENGINEERING . Welfare Committee PHYSICS . 1.00 pm in Level 6 Committee Room PO LITICS ...... Street, off Percy Street. 12 SOCIAL STUDIES...... Hustings for 12 members of Ents Committee SURVEYING/TOWN S COUNTRY PUNNING ...... Z00L0GY/BACTERI0L0GY/PHYSI0L0GY/ANAT0MY midnight Thursday 1.00 pm in the Debating Chamber Voting w ill taki place bctw H i) 10 a.m. — 8 p.m. In th« Union Foyer. Tickets only £4 Tuesday 9 March Cultural Affairs Committee Nomination form* ar. available from tha Permanent Secretary1 a Offica, Laval 6, and muat from the Action Desk in the Union Foyer ba returned by 10 a.m., 4 weekdaya before tha election. All candidate. are expected to 1.00 pm in Level 6 Committee Room Hava a thorough knowledge of tha Election Regulationa. Union Society Elections SIMON LEAROYD. Secretary. ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT! 12 members of Ents Committee Wednesday, 3rd March, 1982 THE COURIER 7 You win some . . . FUN IN BATH Top two Top of the league Northumberland II travelled to the The B.U.S.F. Badminton tournament was held at Bath on On Sunday, 21st February, New­ University last week, confident that they would record a the 18th, 19th and 20th February. We took down ten castle University Rifle Club visited 5-0 victory over us as they had during our pre-Christmas players, two spectators and three hitch-hikers (in a twelve Hartlepool Rifle range to take part SPORT fixture. seater minibus?) I won’t specify sex as Simon insisted on ! in their annual open. With a team Their assumed victory was Overall, a trifle disappointing wearing the skirt leaving Helen with the shorts! that shot above average we ret­ threatened from the start as our after our epic victory on our last Mark Walden, unfortunately, got scratched from the singles (Jane urned home with a large degree of intrepid No. 5, Qahir Manji, outing, but we do promise better success in the individual rifle com­ reckons he practices being late) and Simon “Sedet” Beswick lost petition. took an early lead in his match. things to come! abysmally in the first round. Sue Spafford (who doesn’t wish to discuss Fortunes swung, and Qahir was “NOT P.F.H.” .the cocktail party) and Helen Robinson did little better in their faced with an all-important decid­ With scores of 390 out of 400 Streaker matches. But perhaps I'd be better reporting our successes. Diane God­ ing game for which, after a nail- shot by D. Westwater and Miss dard (no comment — I’m writing the report) and the infamous Sandra A. Roberts taking 1st and 2nd biting 7-7 climax, he plucked vic­ Moffitt played brilliantly and got to — wait for it — the second round tory. BOUNCE! places respectively, Miss F. Davi­ of the Ladies Doubles. Cor! son, S. Heath, and H. Buckley all Wanted Dave Chadwick played a man On Saturday, March 13th, the Our heroes, once again, were Mark Walden and Sue Spafford who who was unbeaten this season, contributed well to the day’s University Trampoline Club will deservedly beat a seeded pair from Leeds in a close three-ender and shooting. At last a threat to the but he produced the calm, col­ be hosting the Newcastle Colleges then went on to the quarter-finals where they lost 18-16 — no medals dominance of the Men’s lected, assured squash we have Trampoline Competition. The this year, either. A team of 12 will be travelling come to expect from him and to Leicester on the Sth March to Bar by the pint-swilling, event will take place in the Main Mark (an honorary Barry) proved a hero off court as well as on. He song-singing Men’s Rugby after three hard fought games the Gym of the Centre for Physical scaled the side of a shop, climbed a postbox and posed in a fountain — shoot in the Universities open at match was his. Education and Sport with the and all because the lady loves . . . 25, 50 and 100 yards and it is team . . . the Ladies Rugby Peter Mattinson playing for an warm-up at 12 noon and the com­ The return journey was as much fun as the rest of the weekend. Dave hoped that Sundays success will team. Don’t expect the lat­ overall victory won the first game, petition at 1.00 p.m. “Travolta” Skelton (who seemed to miss out on the cornflakes) was: be repeated. ter to sedately sip their G but lost the second despite strik­ awfully generous with the shaving foam and also conducted the “ sing­ Match Sec. ing his opponent on the nose! He Refreshments will be available & T’s in the Cochrane dis­ in the Committee Room opposite ing”. (Thanks to Woody and Victor for their farmyard impressions). took the next two games, and The only question that remains is was there really a “Murder on the cussing the latest lipstick, Northumberland were left with no the Main Gym during the course of the afternoon. Morley Express?” they’ll be in there, adding a option but to concede defeat. Exhibit No. 1 is a tomato soup stained shirt last seen flying towards Scones John Geraghty was rendered Entries must be made by Fri­ touch of class to this tradi­ Scotch Corner. However, the police may be more interested in the impotent by this superb result (or day, Sth March, and it is hoped tionally raucous event! that all members of the University parking ticket which mysteriously found its way into a litter bin. Our beat Hull Last Thursday evening, the lower was it the dental anaesthetic?) legal advisor (who doesn't know what’s in chicken sauce) seems to and the “Tyneside Organ" failed and Polytechnic Trampoline gym in the Centre for Physical Clubs will take part. think it’s all right to park on double yellow lines! A depleted University lacrosse to rear its double crowned head! . team travelled down to Hull Uni­ Education and Sport was taken A similar fate befell Steve Spectators are welcome and Seriously, though, thanks to everyone concerned for a fantastic over by 30 enthusiastic but as yet, admission is free. Entries with fee weekend. Our play on court may have been lacking in initiative, but it versity to play a 7-a-side match on Atkinson (or was it his glands?) Saturday. We arrived rather late unskilled ladies, under the strict and despite a fine first game he of 50 pence are to be made to the certainly wasn’t oft court. supervision of John Stevens, the Secretary at Club sessions Wed­ P.S.To dispel malicious rumours, the aerial dropped off our Morley to find Hull endeavouring to dem­ was to sink with little trace. University coach. nesday 3-5 p.m., Friday 6-8 p.m. mini-bus when Sandra was driving us back to Newcastle. olish the teas but they good- Overall, a great result which no heartingly gathered up the remain­ Training consisted of learning |,or via the Athletics Union Office, the basic skills of handling the less than doubles our tally of Level 6, Union Building. ing members of their team and so league wins for the season! we started the match. ball, and being slave-driven to the P.M. Please state Grade A (tariff point of exhaustion during an greater than 0.8) or Grade B CLOSE Get the In the first half we were evenly hour’s introductory session. ★ ★ ★ ★ (tariff not exceeding 0.8). matched but after half time New­ Ladies Rugby is growing in A. H. Austin castle came into their own ai)d popularity throughout Univer­ SEX! . . . well, squash actually. RIVALS through some determined play sities in England, and to prove wind up and good defence tactics Newcas­ this there is the second of what is The men's 2nd team, under new Wednesday 24th management, and clearly missing tle managed to achieve a succes­ to be an annual event, a rugby After the league disa­ After the freeze, windsurfing sion of quick goals. This compe­ the considerable, nay weighty, Waders has started up again at tournament at Loughborough in ppointments of the previ­ tent playing by Newcastle — or it guidance of its brave and fearless Tynemouth Yacht Club, the March. Ieaderene (currently, it is Newcastle’s infamous Cross- ous weekend, the 2nd XI may have been Hull’s pre-match AH we need now is a male sub­ rumoured negotiating the final Country team did more damage to Men’s Hockey needed to windsurfing club’s new base. consumption of cream scones — stitute for Erica Roe! There is again, as per last resulted in a victory of 12-9. terms of his ‘Immac’ sponsorship the ego of England’s Top Road bounce back quickly with a Sara Stewart — Debi Hind deal), plumbed new depths of racing teams when they finished term a Saturday series of races mediocrity last week against an excellent 7th team at the Hyde win to maintain confidence which will continue indef­ Ashington II. Park Relays — Western Europe’s for the weekend cup initely. There is also casual Mark Seager took the Bucker most prestigious student running matches, and who better to sailing on Sundays. As BELTING UP award of the night with a totally event held last Saturday around play against than Durham Durham University have rec­ On Sunday, 21st February, five members of the Univer­ uninspiring performance, which the Serpentine. University (for the fourth ently formed a new club the sity Karate Club took part in a course and grading exa­ failed to trouble the scorers. The race was won (of course) number of people turning out Hamish ‘receding hairline’ Pater­ by Loughborough (even without time this season!!). mination held by Mr. R. Todd, 4th Dan, Black Belt and son, after a somewhat uncustom­ their Olympic Champion ‘Slob’ Back at Close House, the scene has been increasing, there are now around fifteen people out SKI North East Organiser. The following grades were ary start, finally showed his true Coe) with West London Institute of our previous triumph against awarded:— form and crashed to a 3-2 defeat. second and a revitalised Cam­ them, we fielded a strong team sailing, with about thirty peo­ Tiffin-the-Terrible surprised, us bridge third. against a weaker Durham side ple waiting around in the D. MARSHALL — 9th Kyu (white and 1 red stripe) all, and no doubt himself, by win­ Newcastle’s A team of Jim’s than usual, but the lack of K. W. TAN — 9th Kyu (white and 1 red stripe) bar!!! S. HARRIS — 8th Kyu (white and 2 red stripes) ning a game, but succumbed to Webster and Harold (both warm-up beforehand and the When the long days return to yet another unerring loss. Richard 14.18), Adam Cooper (14.30), usual first ten minute malaise J. HOWARTH — 7th Kyu (Yellow Belt) Newcastle we hope to run a train­ J. PRESTON — 5th Kyu (Purple Belt) “ wife and two kids to support, by Don Speight and Tim Bedell saw us a goal behind very quickly. ing scheme on Friday evenings for the way that'll be £8 for the (both 14.50) and John Godbert However, once the hamstrings all beginners. This will be in con­ period” Kellagher played well (15.14) all ran exceptionally well. became sufficiently stretched the junction with Tynemouth and 16 MISTLETOE ROAD, JESMOND and was narrowly defeated in a The Waders had two other Durham goal found itself under Durham. Would all members who 198 HEATON ROAD, HEATON, classic duel. men’s teams of six and a ladies heavy pressure, eventually suc­ sail at the yacht club remember NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE Star award yet again goes to team of four but due to technical cumbing to a somewhat fortuitous they must join Tynemouth club Graham “the drop-shot?” Welch, problems, namely the club’s penalty award, easily converted for a fee of eight pounds. ______REAL ALE OFF LICENCES who gave his usual subtle display ‘Newcastle-bound’ press agent by Chief Blackfoot Charlton. For the diary, there are several During March, Symonds draught ciders - in disposing of an opponent a running out of change, these per­ The second half followed the regattas coming up; 2nd May — lOp off normal price per pint - touch over 40 and sporting a very formances were unavailable at the same pattern though the flying British University individual fine Bobby Charlton wig. Well time of publication. right wing Ian Ashken never rec­ championship at Liverpool; 12th done Graham! D.P.M. eived the ball and the ever- March — York team event; And CIDER FROM 29p A PINT Junoesque Phil Curry relished his sometime this term a regatta simi­ ^ 10% Discount for Students renewed battle with Roddy. The lar to last years at Leeds. London Arriving from the metropolis this week- winning goal came from a very boardsailing exhibition. For full unrehearsed free-hit and Smoking information see A. V. Iacopi YOUNG'S SPECIAL Joe Norris gave the goalkeeper no E086 (Leazes), M. Whaley (Rac­ R e t f a u fa n t chance. A satisfying game and the J - FULLY LICENSED ing Secretary) (F441 Leazes), any BITTER series is levelled at two wins each. other committee member. OPEN TILL 10.30 EVERY NIGHT Superb Tandoori Curry and English Dishes Heja Sverige! Mark Derrick Special Lunch Monday to Saturday 12 noon to 2.30 p.m. — £1.30 ★------★ Opening Hours Monday to Saturday 12 noon to 2.30 p.m. and 6 p.m. to 11.30 p.m. Sunday 7 p.m. to 11.30 p.m. Take away service available UNION SOCIETY 6 BIGG MARKET, NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE Telephone: Newcastle 328629 ssnn 10% Discount for Students SCAN ACTIVITIES DEBATES University of Newcastle upon Monday 7.00 p.m. Tyne/University of California, San Spital Tongues Youth Club Diego Tuesday 5.00 p.m. This Friday, 5th Tyneside Challenge Club CAPSTAFF STUDENTSHIP Wednesday afternoon March Inflatables — Decorating 8 o'clock Wednesday 6.30 p.m. This Studentship is only offered periodically. It "This House believes that an end is tenable for graduate study at the University Gateway Club of California, San Diego and is open to Newcas­ to large scale immigration would tle graduates of not more than four years stand­ Thursday 6.30 p.m. help solve Britains racial ing; prospective graduates may apply. Prefer­ Deaf School Youth Club ence will be given to applicants from Science problems" or Engineering. Saturday 10.00 a.m. Tenable: for 1 year from September 1982. Decorating Proposed by: Mr. K. Harvey Proctor Maintenance allowance: $5 175, plus remission Sunday M.P. of tuition and registration fees, and some assis­ Opposed by: A University Chaplain tance with travel costs. Closing date: 26 March Benwell Kids Club, 1982. Further particulars and application forms 10.30 a.m. from SCAN from the Registrar (Fellowships and Student­ FLOOR SPEECHES WELCOME ships), 6 Kensington Terrace. SCAN MEETINGS EVERY TUESDAY ,1.00 p.m. at SCAN 8 THE COURIER Wednesday, 3rd March, 1982 GRANTS FOCUS March 1st-5th sees the start of the National Union of WHO, US? Students Week of Action in which students hope to per­ suade Ministers to alter their decision on the 4% grant ROAD Three Newcastle Univer­ ing television in a local public house. “We produced a statement increase and the change which will force more students Newcastle University is now beginning to realise the sity Sports teams emphati­ to rely on their parents for part of their grant. effects of the new Percy Street Traffic Management to this effect,” he said, “and the cally deny any responsibil­ police, who were called in to inv­ N.U.S. leaders presented Mr. Waldegrave, Under Secretary for Scheme: alarming increases in traffic noise and volume. ity for acts of vandalism at estigate seemed satisfied with higher education, with further evidence of the scale of hardship they So great is the problem that the University, with support from the Durham University. Dr.1 this.” Hatfield College have expect to result from the decision. R.V.I., is pressing the Tyne and Wear County Council to consider a Fairbum, Honorary Treas­ apparently sent a bill for damages They believe that on average parents will be asked to pay 100-150 long term alternative which would take traffic away from the University but the football club remains pounds more next year and that between 50 and 60% of students on precinct. urer of the Athletic Union, adament that no payment will be mandatory awards will actually receive less money from local spoke of “an almost blame­ made. authorities. Since the closure of Percy Street to’south-bound traffic, Claremont less past record. We are The decision to freeze the threshold for parental contributions means Road, St. Thomas' Street and Queen Victoria Road have become over­ Members of the men’s hockey that lower-paid parents will be hit hardest and about 10% more parents burdened with city traffic. If the proposed ring road scheme goes ahead very annoyed about these team also reported seeing no will have to make a contribution. and some roads in the area are widened to allow a four-lane traffic exaggerated allegations.” trouble. Leaving their equipment N.U.S. feel that education is going to become excessively biased by flow, the University's problem will be all the more severe. at the college for convenience, the financial considerations and that large numbers of students from low The damage to a bar, common majority followed the soccer Following a public meeting with the Council the University has circu­ room and toilet block at Hatfield income families will be prevented from entering higher education. lated copies of an alternative traffic scheme devised by Professor Peter teams example and went off to In answer to suggestions by Sir Keith Joseph that students should College, Durham, was blamed watch football on T.V. The cap­ Hills of the University Civil Engineering Dept. The scheme would take almost entirely on visiting teams take part-time jobs to finance their studies, N.U.S. warns that as part- traffic off Percy Street at the present junction with Morden Street, tains of hockey and rugby were time and vacation employment is decreasing this will not help. from Newcastle and Hull. How­ not available for comment. across the car parks, directly onto Strawberry Place and eventually to ever, of the three teams from this The N.U.S. complains also that despite the 4% grant increase, hall the New Redheugh Bridge. The new road from Percy Street to Straw­ University in the city on that date, Questioned about the allega­ fees are likely to increase by a lot more. Last year for example, the berry Place would necessitate the demolition of a portion of Leazes only the men's hockey and rugby tions the Registrar of Durham. grant rose by 7%, whereas University charges rose between 7 and 20% Lane but would, in the opinion of Prof. Hills, be a far more sensible clubs actually visited the college. University, Mr. Ian Graham said and in the public sector, between 15 and 40%’. route than the present “lash-up” of existing roads which are forced to that the extent of the damage had At the meeting N.U.S. also emphasised its strong objections to the take a larger volume of traffic than that for which they were originally Steve Sherato, Secretary of the been “greatly exaggerated” and a proposed system of student loans. intended. football club, explained that the complaint to this effect had been N.U.S. is not alone in its criticism of the government however. The Tyne and Wear County Council have seen this plan but are not in a team played at the Race Course made to local papers. Although Vice Chancellor of Birmingham University said last week that if the grounds, had tea at Maiden Castle position to comment on it until it has been fully discussed by their offic­ members of visiting teams had erosion of the student grant system was meant to be a move towards ers. They do say, however, that as a general policy they avoid demoli­ and then spent the evening watch- been at the college, “Who and loans the Government should be open and introduce loans immedi­ tion wherever possible. how many were actually involved ately. The Vice Chancellor claimed that the policy of gradually reducing the Tyne and Wear County Council also say that the Percy Street scheme remains unclear” he said. The three Durham captains agreed value of student grants was damaging to both individuals and Univer­ was advertised in the local media for the correct statutory period before READ-IN sities and that real hardship was being experienced by students whose being put into operation and that all objections raised were dealt with that since the damage was slight, they would pay the cost. parents could not afford to supplement the grants. to the satisfaction of the objecting parties prior to the implementation He stated also that the random effect of early retirement, redeploy­ of the scheme. The implication of this is that the University showed a WEAK The trouble, which happened ment and voluntary redundancies might be so unbalanced as to cause lack of foresight in not lodging strong enough objections to the scheme. last November had come to press serious problems in teaching and research. Prof. Hills Is baffled by the Draught Local Plan on which the bulk of This year’s University Rag notice because of another similar It seems then that there is mass opposition to the 4% grant increase, the cleared areas and car parks around Leazes Lane are designated as Day, March 11th, is er . . . incident at a Durham College but what is needed in order to make the opposition effective, is recently. Mr. Graham added: areas for redevelopment when, in the long term, the County Council . yawn being treated to a er enthusiastic involvement from the students. plan to build a ring road through the middle of them. He feels that his “They are linking together inci­ The area demonstration takes place today from Monkwearmouth alternative would be of benefit to the Council in the light of their long .... spectacular, snooze dents that happened months apart College to Sunderland L.E.A. and the National Demonstration will be term plans for the ring road but is worried lest speculative building on event. and trying to say we have a wave in London on Friday. the open areas in Leazes Lane and Leazes Park Road prevents the Professor David West, sup­ of violence sweeping Durham For more details contact the Actions Desks in the Union. University. It is just not true.” scheme from being implemented, If this happened the present and uns­ ported by the staff and students of Sue Crawford atisfactory Percy Street Scheme could remain in operation. the Department of Classics will begin the great day .... and unf­ John McPherson ortunately proceed throughout, reciting twenty-four books, 12,118 lines no less of Homers Odyssey in—wait for it—the original VIEWPOINT Greek. ESCAPING Professor West in a spout of One of the finest and indeea to meet the needs of the majority over private practice in the NHS sanity blurted ‘‘I think that as humane political achievements of of people.” He added: “ If we can and modified and transferred to -people are plodding up and down this century was the establishment at the same time encourage a the Secretary of State the boards Sunday’s tour of scenic the breath-taking view, Seahouses between the lectures they may for the fish and chips, and Bam- in 1948 (under the 1945/51 Labour thriving private sector then we can powers to control the development Northumbria, organised by stand and scratch their heads, Governments) of the British free- harness resources which do not of private hospitals as Stan Orme burgh for the booze. A brief wondering if reciters are all out of Mike Shahid of the Ser­ skirmish was even made into the on-demand National Health Ser­ depend on the taxpayers provision stated this is clearly a move away their minds.” Fair comment, no vice. The future of the NHS is of health care over and above from “ local democracy and vices Committee, proved land of the Piets. doubt his beliefs will be confirmed Even the witty commentary of now, however, under grave threat what the NHS can provide.” accountability” he added “the to be a resounding success. — you have been warned. from the present government. They were even prepared the ubiquitous Marek Norvid and Despite the implicit assumption green light to private hospitals Mr. Snahid’s obsession with Heather Carson The Government are set on a in Mr. Jenkins speech, the exi­ would further undermine the NHS to wait for a certain person bridges failed to spoil a lovely committed and calculated course stence of a private sector alongside and staff at all levels would be who had difficulty in arous­ day, though the driving caused a to undermine the existing NHS the NHS, is not an harmonious siphoned off.” few of us to choke on our dried and ultimately replace it with the one. Its existence undermines at Obviously such pleas fell upon ing from her slumbers. private sector. The “ tactics” they The first venture by the int­ bananas and cashew nuts! various levels the NHS, not least is deaf ears, the ears of a govern­ PLAID have employed are, understand­ the fact that once people are ment set in its course to underm­ It is to be hoped that the next repid Committee was undoub­ ably, subtle. Their strategy is tedly helped by liberal doses of Breakout (to the Lake District) in allowed to “ buy” themselves out, ine the NHS, and determined to the summer term, will be similarly more along the lines of “ chipping it reduces the pressure to improve lead Britain towards American sea, sand and even sunshine. fragments off the supporting pil­ The coach wended its way up well organised and attended. the National Health Service. styled pay by the pocket health the Northumberland coast and CYMRU lars” rather than an outright Echoes of foreseeable future care. attack. As Eric HefTer, Labour The green light ‘has’ been given made stops at Newton Bay, for Brenda Stephenson ring with frightening reality when M.P. for Liverpool Walton, considered in relation to the to private medicine, notice the stated: “ There are more ways second statement cited by Eric recent BUPA adverts on T.V. Pri­ FRONT? than one of killing the cat. It is HefTer, later in the same year by vate medicine in Britain is fast on clear that had the government Dr. Gerard Vaughan, Minister of the increase. The American organ­ A new University Society carried out a direct onslaught on Health. At the Conservative Medi­ isation ‘Medical International’ N.U .S.R.C. the NHS, the political and public cal Society Symposium, there Mr. chaired by Mr. Ralfe Dienen who — the Cambrian (Welsh) outcry would have been deafening. Society is in the pipe-line. Vaughan maintained that the is reputed by Eric HefTer to be a So their policy has been more sub­ government was drawing up a “ financial expert whose life is The Society will provide tle and because of that more Food Market consultative document for an ins­ dominated by the dollar, and who a forum for cultural debate dangerous.” Dangerous in that urance based health service which specialises in making money, lots and will attempt to unite their somewhat, underhand would be published in the new of it by making people pay for strategy is crippling the NHS just year, 1981. their health.” This organisation Welsh students, Welsh as effectively. Hence the NHS is already has two running private sympathisers and people of being “starved” of essential Mr. Jack Ashley, Labour M.P. hospitals in London with others finance and resources while pri­ for Stoke on Trent, hit the nail on being developed. As stated in the Welsh origin. the head when contrasting Dr. WHOLE Anyone interested vate medicine is being supported Medical Journal “ ...... Large and actively encouraged by Vaughan’s statement: “It is the scale enterprise is moving in with should contact Robert I. government ministers. opeiHng shot of a calculated cam­ hefty cash resources, and when Williams (History Depart­ Eric Heffer has attempted to paign to undermine our free that happens changes are bound to FOOD ment) or Annette Ryan draw public attention to the threat health service.” take place.” (French/German Depart­ the government are wielding upon Dr. Gerald Vaughan’s state­ The NHS, despite its constant at the NHS. He cites Patrick Jenkins’ ment, preceded by a few days, the rocking provides a high standard ment). They hope to hold speech in May 1980 as betraying appearance of the “Litmus Pap­ of health care. It has its problems, their first meeting on the government’s intended lines ers,” published by the Centre for problems which will not be solved, Thursday, at 1.00 p.m. in “Of course ministers have an Policy Studies which consisted of a but intensified under private HALF the Union, so give them a overiding duty and commitment to collection of essays outlining the schemes. It is no minor point that the NHS which for the FORE­ weakness of the NHS and provid­ 62 per cent of health care need in tannoy then. SEEABLE FUTURE will continue ing alternative Insurance based Britain comes from sectors which schemes. are least likely to be adequately PRICE In the last session of Parliament covered under alternative insur- 1980 the Health Service Act was anced based schemes, namely the CALLING ALL put through despite pleas from elderly, chronically sick and men­ opposition M.P.’s of its damaging tally disabled — the example of SCAN BABYSITTERS implications. the American system is a frighten­ Brown Rice 28p lb The act abolished the health ing one. The health care for such MEETING: Thursday, 4th March service board and ended the poorer sections leaves much to be Muesli 60p Kilo enforced withdrawal of pay beds desired. 1.00 p.m. Room 27, Level 5 from NHS hospitals. Stan Orme, The Government’s line must, Trail Mix 36p 250 gms Shadow Health and Social Secret­ therefore, be adequately publi­ OR ary “Abolishing the health ser­ cised to draw attention to the Open Tues., Wed., Fri 12 till 2 vices boards and phasing back pay already progressive drift — and 7.30 p.m. Gingerbread House, beds into the NHS, would do more most importantly, vehemenUy res­ harm to NHS industrial relations isted to avoid the disturbing result Westgate Road than any other single measure.” of health care according to the size of ones pocket. Level 3 PLEASE ATTEND The act also introduced amended provision for control Heather Carson

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