ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 1 (1,1)

Issue 953 - Weekly Thursday 21st January 1999 Students Are Help Kings’ Manor Revolting School Worldwide student protests continue into 1999 - James Buller reports

tudents of Oxford gle...we expect hundreds University are contin- more first year students to in Books for Schools Suing their fight against join us next year.” the newly imposed tuition Scheme fees. 5 students are main- Oxford Student’s Union is taining their position of firmly supporting the cam- eveloped in support of refusing to pay the £1000 paign, but the powers that be the National Year of extra cost of coming to uni- are equally staunch. This week Reading, the aim of versity this year. the five students were ordered D Free Books for Schools is to return their campus and simple: to help schools to At one time the protesters library cards. They are now have many more books in numbered in the hundreds. effectively banned from using their classrooms so pupils can Over the course of the year the university facilities. read more and expand their however, they have dwin- imaginations, creativity and dled as university authorities The students attend curiosity. brought pressure to bear. Somerville and St. Hilda’s Before Christmas there were Colleges. The University plain against education In Indonesia, 14 students The range of quality titles available to schools includes 14 left. The threat of action, Registrar has left it up to the reform. Last week they threw have been killed and 60 Shakespeare plays, atlases, dictionaries, fiction and non-fic- from which the remaining 5 colleges to deal with the stones and fire bombs in wounded in a long running tion, wildlife and science books, audio and braille titles. are now suffering saw off 8 problem as they see fit. Athens, injuring a policeman. dispute with the government. The books are suitable for children aged between five and more. The students want faster sixteen. Compared with the exploits Hundreds of Iranian students political reform and less mil- Another student, Kate of students in other countries itary involvement in the Students, staff, parents, pupils, teachers, friends and rela- Atkinson, 19 finally deliv- have been demanding action however, the Oxford dispute country’s affairs. When they tives can all collect tokens. An incredible total of one bil- ered her fees on Monday. after several of the country’s seems positively puny. In the marched on the parliament lion Books for Schools tokens are available in a broad While Oxford University’s intellectuals were murdered. past few months thousands building in Jakarta, troops cross-section of all the national papers (see below) on Hebdomadal Council met, They called for the resigna- of students have been fired tear gas and rubber bul- packets of Walkers snacks. Tokens will appear throughout Atkinson dumped one thou- tion of the Minister Of demonstrating about various lets. President Habibie has the Spring and Summer Semester. sand pound coins on the Intelligence, who is suspect- issues, all over the world. said that the country could We at the Students’ Union believe this to be an excellent steps of their Senate House. ed of involvement in the break apart if the protests are opportunity for the Students of Surrey to help a local 200 supporters cheered from killings. An investigation is not controlled. Most recently, secondary school. We are asking for everybody to start collecting nearby roof tops as she said under way, but the students school children from Greece tokens. Remember every copy of “It’s not the end of our strug- Riot police in Panama also accuse political hard-liners The Times and Sunday Times, have organised sit-ins to com used tear gas and rubber bullets of obstructing its progress. The Sun, against students in December. The News of the World, Trade unions and students Even Scottish students man- and the following packets of Walkers Snacks: went on strike for a day, to aged to win over their univer- Walkers Crisps protest about privatisation of sity big wigs. A bronze bust Walkers Lites the state water company. They of Hungarian Arthur Koestler Quavers claim that water bills will rise was put on display at if the sell off takes place. The Monster Munch Edinburgh University. The government says the country French Fries writer sponsored a parapsy- needs investment. At least one Doritos chology professorship at the student was seriously hurt in ‘New’ Walkers Cheetos institution. However in a new the clashes. all contain tokens. If you hand in your tokens to the biography he is alleged to Comms Officers pigeon hole, the box at Union reception have beaten and raped several Luckily here at Surrey, the or into the BareFacts office then we will pass these on to women. Complaints led to the price of a pint remains the most Kings’ Manor Comprehensive School. removal of the statue. contoversial issue to date. News 2 n Email 4 n Development 5 n Features 6 n Music 7 n Entertainments Guide 9. n Reviews & Previews 10 Personals & Crossword 11 n Charity 12 n Careers 13 n Surrey Pride 14 ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 2 (1,1)

2 News Thursday 21st January 1999 n

Editorial News in Brief by James Buller elcome back to University Web Site etc. are ranked 32nd, 38th, 56th the third best Over 2,600 submissions and 89th respectively. An Europe. Celine now has a Editor WUniversity in the have been recorded to date The red mole web site record total of seven Tom Sherwen UK. Well almost. The from a total of 102 universi- receives over 100 000 page Englishman's Platinum Awards. ([email protected]) definitive Internet Survey ties. However Bristol hits a month and therefore Home Is His conducted by Red Mole University have been dis- claims to cover a wide range The Spice Girls' undergraduate web site rates qualified when they were of students. If you want to Coffin "Spiceworld" though beat Deputy Editor us as having the best sport- found to have submitted submit your ratings just Celine's "Titanic" into sec- Steven Alexander ing facilities and the second thousands of entries from an click on http://www.red- A man has claimed a new ond place in the New ([email protected]) most attractive males. automatic program. mole.co.uk and vote for the world record by voluntarily Releases category. However we were rated as best bits of Surrey. spending 142 days in a Arts Editor low as 37th in the attractive- Only Edinburgh and buried in a coffin. Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli ness of females category. Lancaster Universities top The days are getting longer was also rewarded for over Daniel Jones The results are from the first Surrey at the moment. (one prediction even I can’t Geoff Smith, 37 from five million sales of his ([email protected]) half of the academic year Traditional Universities get wrong!!)and the weath- Mansfield was interred in album "Romanza." and they have already such as Oxford and er will improve. the garden of his local pub News Editor achieved some controversy. Cambridge rank a lowly last August. Since then he 70% of those receiving James Buller The ratings are based on stu- 19th and 31st. Traditional Enjoy the semester, good has lived in a box 210cm awards were European dents filling in question- Surrey adversaries; Royal luck with the studies and while only a quarter sung ([email protected]) long and 70cm wide. naires on categories includ- Holloway, Reading, Party like it’s 1999!!! Unable to sit up, Smith their albums in English. ing Opposite Sex, Nightlife, Southampton and Kingston, spent his time reading and Features Editor watching TV. He received A Punch For Nick Walsh A Letter from RAG supplies and talked to his ([email protected]) Dear All, 2500 pounds. This amount late to join RAG. We family via a ventilation Being Too is primarily due to only two always enjoy seeing new- tube. Sharky Music Editor RAG welcomes you back to major events, the RAG Raid comers at our weekly meet- the University of Surrey for in Guildford and the RAG ings. You can get involved By surviving 142 days, Andrew Thomas A South African fought off a semester of fun and, as Beer Drinking Competition. in the committee or simply Smith has reclaimed the an attack by a Great White ([email protected]) usual, hard work... come along to lend a help- family honour. His mother Shark, the Citizen newspa- Last year the RAG team ing hand. held the record with 101 per has reported. Sports Editor I hope that these holidays raised 6000 pounds over the days, until it was surpassed have not drained your ener- entire year, most of this dur- We would also like to hear by an American. Should Paul Cliff Evan Ridge was water ski- gy to party and donate. ing the RAG week. We still your ideas for events to anyone better this latest tar- ([email protected]) ing off Bonza Beach, have plenty more events come or your experiences get, one of Smiths sons will Eastern Cape when the Many criticising letters planned and therefore plenty in fund raising. So feel free attempt a 200 day stint. killer approached."As the Commercial Manager about RAG and its activities more money to raise. to come along and take part. shark attacked I instinctive- Vacant were published in various The day and time of our Celine Dion, ly hit it in the mouth with ([email protected]) editions of Barefacts last There will be many changes meetings will be posted on my right hand. The shark semester. Everyone has a in RAG very soon. Two our RAG notice board and Spice Girls and then sank its teeth into the right to express his or her committee members are to around campus. Andrea Bocelli side of my ski...I actually feelings but we also have a be replaced, the Treasurer felt its nose touch my leg," right to answer. As you and the Chairman. The new If you would like to contact Deadline for Publication he said. have probably noticed by team is full of ideas and RAG, our pigeon hole is The best selling performers Monday 10am now, RAG decided not to plans for a semester of par- available in the Union or E- of 1998 have been recog- The bite in his ski measured host a “RAG Week” this tying and hangovers. We are mail me on “olivier_jour- nised by the The 42 centimetres and was con- year. This is partly due to a trying to get allocated a [email protected]”. I’m International Federation of Bare Facts is an editorially independent firmed as being from the newspaper, published by the University slow start amongst the com- night every other week to looking forward to hearing the Phonographic Industry Jaws type Great White of Surrey Students' Union mittee and other factors. organise events and we also from you. Communications Office. Shark. The region experi- The views expressed within the paper have a surprise lined up for They gave Platinum Europe are those of individual authors, and do ences a few shark attacks not necessarily represent the views of RAG is not doing as badly the last day of term. Have great time, see you at Awards to Celine Dion, each year, but barrier nets the Editor, the Editorial Board, the as the opinions suggest. the meetings whose "Lets Talk About University of Surrey Students' Union or on tourist beaches keep the University of Surrey. Throughout the first semes- I’d also like to remind Love" album has sold more This publication may not be reproduced them to a minimum. in whole or in part, stored in any form, ter we managed to raise over everyone that its never too Oli RAG Chairman than 9 million copies in copied or distributed, without the express permission of the publisher. All submissions must include the author's name and Union or Staff Number. NUS Conference Delegates Submission is no guarantee of publication. Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles very year Surrey sends a (in Blackpool) is a three day ence. If you are interested in will not be published. Bare Facts reserves the right to edit number of delegates to event at the beginning of the standing, then pick up a nomi- submissions. Ethe National Union of Easter vacation, and Surrey has nation pack. If you want to Election Students annual conference. At places for seven delegates. As know more, then leave a note in Printed by Time conference they have the with the Sabbatical posts, stu- the Returning Officer’s pigeon- East End Offset (TU), chance to influence and vote on dents get the chance to vote for hole, or see the Union Bow, London, E3 3LT NUS policies. The conference who represents them at confer- President. Decided Yet? © USSU Communications Office 1999 y now you should have about their jobs or about being a good idea of whether Standing for election is an a Sabbatical then there will be Bor not you fancy stand- excellent experience and win or an evening get together from ing for any of the six posts lose it is well worth the effort. 7.30 to 8.30pm in Chancellors Bare Facts available (Job descriptions If you want to ask any of the this friday Union House were featured at the end of last Sabbaticals any questions semester) or for NUS confer- University Of Surrey ence delegate. If you are flirt- Guildford The beginning of the of the sabbatical ing with the idea then pick up a Surrey second semester is Officers or contact the nomination pack from the GU2 5XH Communications Office. In the Election Time. Voting Returning Officer via pack is all you need to know: Tel: 01483 259275 takes place throughout email on How to get yourself nominated Fax: 01483 534749 week 5 (feb 15th -19th). [email protected] and run your campaign in the Lookout for details in or via the Returning fairest yet most imaginative email: Barefacts. If you would Officer’s pigeon hole in way possible. The nominations must be in by 4pm on Friday of [email protected] like to stand in the the Students’ Union. week 2 Elections please ask one ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 3 (1,1)

Come and write for Barefacts

We are looking for intelligent and enthusiastic potential journalists to come and undress the facts for Barefacts your student paper!

At Barefacts you have the chance to write about things that are important to you. i.e. music, sport, cinema or current affairs? We are looking for: ● Nosey photographers ● Wide eyed cinema reviewers ● Hungry news hounds ● Telly addicts ● Political pundits ● Feisty feature writers Get your hands on: ● Interviews with the stars. ● Free CDs ● Free posters ● Free computer games ● Free tickets ● Free travel. ● Free use of cameras ● Free photo development Barefacts Open Day Saturday 23rd January Any time between 14.00-17.00 Barefacts Office, Students’ Union ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 4 (1,1)

4 Irritating Stuff Thursday 21st January 1999 n

The Barefacts about Virus Alerts WWW by Pravin Jeyaraj f you receive an ■ It will drink all your which grossly change he last few years cal order. Probably excel- the expense. email entitled beer. the interpretations of have not been good lent bedtime reading, “Badtimes,” key sentences. Tfor Bill Clinton. Check out the official web- I First, Paula Jones accused For a more meaty (if possi- site of The Millenium delete itimmediately. ■ It will leave dirty him of sexual harrassment. ble) read, you could try Experience to have a rough Do not open it. socks on the coffee ■ If the “Badtimes” Then, special prosecutor Online NewsHour: the idea of the contents of the Apparently this one is table when you are message is opened in a Kenneth Starr was ordered Impeachment Trial web Dome! It also answers pretty nasty. expecting company. Windows95 environ- to investigate financial site. This is obviously pro- questions about the organis- improprieties over real vided by a commercial ers, the sponsors, the ment, it will leave the estate deals (aka media organisation as it National Programme and ■ It will not only erase ■ Its radioactive emis- toilet seat up and leave Whitewater). The Clintons looks similar to the BBC local events. This is another everything on your sions will cause your your hair dryer plugged were implicated and Starr website. Again, you can well-designed site that takes hard drive, but it will toe jam and bellybutton in dangerously close to found evidence pointing to read the Articles of advantage of recent web also delete anything on fuzz (be honest, you a full bathtub. a possible abuse of power Impeachment and The technology. The menu and a springing from the affair White House rebuttal. For countdown clock is coded disks within 20 feet of have some) to migrate with Monica Lewinsky. He those not in the know, there using Javascript. your computer. behind your ears. ■ It will not only subpoened Clinton and is a whole section on remove the the design- Lewinsky. Clinton denied impeachment procedures For those who want to see ■ It demagnetizes the ■ It will replace your er labels from your the affair under oath, but and the history behind the “history in the making”, stripes on ALL of your shampoo with Nair and jeans and replace them was forced to retract this process - fascinating stuff!!! the Daily Mirror has pro- when neither Lewinsky nor There is also analysis, dis- vided credit cards. your Nair with with C&A, but it will DNA tests backed him up. cussion and comments from Dome Watch, a web cam Rogaine, all while dat- also refill your skim And then Lewinsky’s various members of the sen- tracking the contraction of ■ It reprograms your ing your current milk with whole milk. friend, Linda Tripp, discov- ate. the Millenium Dome. The ATM access code, boy/girlfriend behind ered that Clinton’s aides camera transmits still pic- screws up the tracking your back and billing ■ had tried to ‘persuade’ her Here in the UK, we may tures and receives the award It will replace all to deny the affair too. Enter have a rather squeaky clean for most pointless site. Still, on your VCR and uses their hotel rendezvous your luncheon meat the Republican Party who leader but the rest of the if you have a couple of sec- subspace field harmon- to your Visa card. with Spam. It will mol- decided it would be better Cabinet make up for Tony onds to spare... ics to scratch any CD’s ecularly rearrange your for America if the President Blair’s shortcomings. Just you attempt to play. ■ It will cause you to cologne or perfume, was impeached for lying before Christmas, it was This week’s websites causing it to smell like under oath and abusing his Peter Mandleson’s turn to Millenium Experience run with scissors and power - an action that has be outed (so to speak). The http://www.dome2000.co.u ■ It will re-calibrate throw things in a way dill pickles. not been considered for a Trade secretary decided to k/static/html/home/index.ht your refrigerator’s that is only fun until century or so. resign following the revela- m coolness settings so all someone loses an eye. ■ It is insidious and tion that he failed to men- Online News Hour: The your ice cream melts subtle. It is dangerous President Clinton’s tion a personal loan from Impeachment Trial and your milk curdles. ■ and terrifying to impeachment trial began on Paymaster-General http://www.pbs.org/new- It will give you Thursday 14 January. Geoffrey Robinson on his shour/impeachment/ Dutch Elm Disease and behold. Electronic versions of all mortgage application (is Committee on the ■ It will program your Tinea. documents and statements this really such a misde- Judiciary U.S. House of phone autodial to call ■ It is also a rather relating to the impeachment meanor?). Representatives only your ex-lover’s ■ interesting shade of are available for view at the Impeachment It will rewrite your Committee on the In the fallout, Labour have http://www.house.gov/judi- number. backup files, changing mauve. Judiciary U.S. House of lost two spindoctors. ciary/icreport.htm all your active verbs to Representatives Mandleson was also the Dome Watch ■ This virus will mix passive tense and These are just a few Impeachment website. The advocator of the Millenium http://www.mirror.co.uk/cgi antifreeze into your incorporating unde- signs of infection. site follows a very simple Dome. That task has now -bin/dome.htm fish tank. tectable misspellings design. The documents, been given to Lord Falconer including the Articles of who, apart from the general This week’s keywords Impeachment and The management and organisa- “impeachment”, ”milleni- E-Mail Hoaxes White House rebuttal, are tion, has to convince the um dome” listed in reverse chronologi- public that it really is worth By Gareth Harmer, infected with a virus the program will auto- Technology Officer matically detect and clean them. Anti-virus Free Tickets For TV Shows software can be found at any computer soft- ow many of you have received ware retailer, and costs about £30 the car of their dreams... but Doors Open 3:45pm those annoying e-mails proclaiming TRADING UP only if the studio audience Fountain TV studios H‘Don’t read this e-mail or you’ll get If you have any other concerns about this can guess what car they’re Wembley Park Drive a virus’? Come on, put your hands up. Even issue then please e-mail me. You can reach Hosted by Claudia up for! (2 minutes from Wembley the BareFacts Editor has been duped by me at [email protected] . Please also Winkleman Park Tube Station) these messages from foolish pranksters. let me know if you hear of any hoaxes your- A brand new Channel 4 Recording Well, after a number of students contacted self so that I can take appropriate action. game show that gives con- Monday 24th & Tuesday For free tickets call Elise me to ask about these hoaxes, I felt it was testants the chance to win 25th Jan 0171 287 0045 about time to put the record straight. * You cannot get a virus by reading a standard e-mail message The best thing that you can do when using a Treasurer Wanted UCS computer is avoid downloading soft- s I have to go away become Union Treasurer for year, to name a few: alll ware where possible. If you are after a par- However, no system is completely on placement, I the interim period (Jan - clubs and societies, the4 ticular piece of software, then make sure perfect, and it is worth bearing the have come to the May). This position si real- Exec committee, the Sabbs, that the company who writes the software following points in mind. A end of my position as Union ly interesting and you get to the staff of the Union, espe- is well known or has been used by someone treasurer. As a result of the meet loads of people accross cially in Finance, and you know. If you want to bring a floppy disk * You can get a virus from a pro- Sabbatical restructure and campus etc, as well as being Rodney Bates for the into University and wish to protect it, then particularly the introduction responsible for the finances accreditation and support. I you can lock the disk by moving the ‘write gram sent to you in an e-mail mes- of a Finance and Activities of the Unio. If you’re inter- would like to send a special protect tab’ to uncover the hole in the cor- sage. Sabb, there will no longer be ested in standing, please thanks to Malcolm Hamling ner of the disk. a part-time Exec post. contact Harriet Sims (Union for answering all my awk- * You can get a virus from a pro- However, this will not come President) for more infor- ward questions To protect your own computer, it is worth gram downloaded from the Internet into effect until June next mation.I would like to take buying a copy of an anti-virus program. year, and at the moment the this oppurtunity to thank I look forward to seeing This will ensure that you are protected from Union is currently looking everyone who has con- you all again next year. any programs that you use causing damage. * Disks that you borrow or get from for siomeone who would tributed to help me complete Justinn A Beavis It also means that if you use any disks other people can contain viruses like a challenge and will my position over the last ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 5 (1,1)

n Thursday 21st January 1999 Development 5 Redevelopment of Student Catering Facilities he comprehensive and extend student catering into an upmarket cafe bar campus in autumn 1999 and central catering facilities below is a provisional redevelopment of the facilities on campus, will and the top floor will be will complement the state- will affect a number catering timetable of catering venues THall Restaurant, Hall take the form of a three developed as a meeting and of-the-art meeting facilities venues on site from April opening times during late Bar and Vegetarian storey infill between the dining suite. Not only will in the Austin Pearce 1999 to the autumn, spring and summer 1999. Restaurant is now well existing Hall and Vegetarian the new complex increase Building. A small exhibi- Hospitality Catering Look out for further project under way, with completion Restaurants. These two the provision and quality of tion showing plans of the Services are working with updates in Barefacts and of the new complex set for areas will be linked to create the existing student catering new development can be the Students’ Union and Surrey Matters over the the autumn semester 1999. a 450 seater restaurant, the facilities, it will also help viewed in the Hall Bar. Wates House to try to min- coming months. This new complex, which Hall Bar below will double the University cater for the imise disruption to student will considerably enhance in size and be refurbished EIHMS students joining the Whilst the redevelopment of catering services. Detailed HALL RESTAURANT and VEGGIE RESTAURANT DO YOU WANT SOME Set to close on Monday 26 April 1999 Competition Will be developed into one large restaurant on the first floor of the new complex Plans to open, under a different name, MANAGERIAL Champagne and Budweiser case of Budweiser. The in the week beginning Monday 30 August 1999* beer are being offered as competition categories are: EXPERIENCE IN THE prizes in a competition to HALL BAR find names for the new 1. Name for the cater- EDUCATIONAL SECTOR? Set to close on Monday 26 April 1999 Hospitality Catering ing complex as a whole Will be extended and re-styled into a new cafe bar. Plans to Services complex on cam- 2. Name for the 450- open, under a different name, in the week beginning pus. seat restaurant We have 5 vacancies for students to Monday 30 August 1999* 3. Name for the 200- gain managerial experience on a DfEE Extensive redevelopment of seat cafe bar LIBRARY RESTAURANT supported project. the current Hall Restaurant, 4. Name for the upper Will provide evening catering for students for 5 weeks from Hall Bar and Veggie floor meeting and dining Monday 26 April Will be closed to students and staff for Restaurant will create a suite If you are a mature self starter with an 14 weeks from Monday 31 May 1999 Will reopen to stu- modern 450-seat restaurant, dents and staff on 6 September 1999 interest in people management this a 200-seat cafe bar and a You can enter one, two, could be the opportunity for you! meeting and dining suite on three or all four of the com- SANDWICH BAR the building’s top floor. petition categories by com- Temporary take-away snack bar to be set up in the Lecture pleting and detaching the Receive a nationally recognised quali- Theatre building from Monday 26 April for approximately The competition is open to coupon below and returning 18 weeks fication and all for only 1 - 2 hours per all University students and it to Emma Treeby, staff. The closing date for Secretariat. Alternatively week. CHANCELLOR’S RESTAURANT entries is Friday 22 January email your entry to e.tree- Bar, Restaurant and Table d’hôte dining service set to close 1999. According to taste, [email protected]. for refurbishment on Friday 26 March 1999. Will be re- Please send your CV with a covering winners from each of the Competition winners will be styled and refurbished into a student-oriented pub-style four categories highlighted announced in early letter to M.Dickinson, Educational restaurant Plans to open, under the same name, in the week below can chose from two February 1999. beginning Monday 10 May. Liaison Centre, Room 15 level 5 bottles of champagne or a Senate House, University of Surrey. WATES HOUSE will continue to provide the following services for staff and postgraduate students: * Why not enter the competition to name the new Snacks and Light Refreshments, Self-Service Restaurant catering complex for the chance to win champagne or Deadline for applications Table d’hôte dining, Bar budweiser beer? February 2nd 1999 AME OUR RIZE OMPETITION N Y P C For more details, contact Mary on (PLEASE COMPLETE IN BLOCK CAPITALS) 9920

NAME: Now is the time to:

ADDRESS: Get something on your CV before your workload increases!!! Get some experience to show employ- TELEPHONE NO: ers you can do a good job MY SUGGESTED NAMES ARE (SEE ABOVE FOR CATEGORY DESCRIPTIONS) Stand out from all the other Graduates CATEGORY 1 Receive a nationally recognised quali- fication CATEGORY 2 Do it now! sign up for 1 hour per week this semester and you can say that CATEGORY 3 you have; held a position of responsi- bility, displayed team work, improved your communication skills AND been CATEGORY 4 of help to local schools and colleges. For more details, contact Mary on If I win, I would like to receive: (please tick one only) Champagne Budweiser 9920 or pick up an application form The closing date for entries is Friday 22 January 1999 Please return to Emma Treeby, Secretariat, Senate House from room 15 level 5 Senate House. ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 6 (1,1)

6 Features Thursday 21st January 1999 n NEW YEAR, NEW YOU! COME TO THE

ell, not a com- esteem, it can reduce stress is a greater risk to women. in injury. The benefits of EDINBURGH pletely new you, and tension (important when - Regular exercise has exercise will take some time Wmaybe just a fitter all that course work is due in many benefits later in life. to appear so don’t get dis- FESTIVAL 1999 and healthier you! The New and exams are looming!!) For example greater mobili- heartened. Year is the ideal opportunity ty, better balance, strength to begin an exercise regime - Regular exercise reduces and coordination and the Set your self some AND WORK FOR THE TOP NAMES that can have enormous ben- the risk of coronary heart control of chronic disease. I goals . . . IN efits for your health and disease. Lack of exercise is know that students like to Decide what you want to well-being. considered one of the live for the moment but achieve, be sensible and BRITISH COMEDY! biggest contributory causes. think about the future too! make sure that what you After all the food and drink want is attainable. Set a Avalon Promotions, consumed over the festive - Exercise can also control - People who exercise on a suitable time scale in which promoters of stars such as season now is the time to your blood pressure. regular basis have been to achieve these goals. shape up and to start to look shown to have a reduced Decide the best method to after your body for the - Regular exercise com- risk of certain types of can- meet your goals. future. A little exercise bined with a healthy diet is cer. Cancer of the colon is a FRANK SKINNER, DAVID could counteract the excess- one of the best ways to man- nice example! Regularity ...... es of student life leaving age body weight. BADDIEL, HARRY HILL and you feeling happier and - The more time spent exer- Aim to exercise regularly. healthier. - Endurance exercise will cising the less time is spent Pick a convenient time slot HOWARD MARKS strengthen your heart and at the bar drinking which is in your schedule and stick to it. Make sure that you exer- There are many reasons why lungs meaning you are bet- not only good news for your are looking for a little regular exercise ter able to cope with the health but for your bank bal- cise fits your life style. could have positive health extra demands placed on the ance too PROMOTIONS ASSISTANTS benefits for anyone. body from time to time for Variety is the spice of at the example running up the life (apparently) . . . . . stairs to your lecture when If you feel inspired Vary your activity or try FRINGE FESTIVAL Here are the top you’re late. to get fit this year some thing new. This way 10 good reasons to for whatever rea- you will be less likely to get 1-31 August 1999 get fit. - There is evidence to sug- bored and you can find gest that exercise can help to son, here are some activities that suit you best. Applicants should be outgoing and hard prevent or delay the onset of tips to help you to working - Higher levels of physical Non Insulin Dependant Enjoy your self ...... activity are associated with Diabetes Mellitus. stick at it! lower mortality rates in all Exercise should be fun! To apply, send your CV - with a covering letter explain- Chose an exercise method ing why you want to work for Avalon at the Edinburugh populations (death from all - Weight bearing exercise Don’t expect too causes). or activity that you enjoy, Festival - to: Personnel Manager, Edinburgh 1999, helps to maintain bone den- much . . . . that way you will be more Avalon Promotions Ltd, PO Box 168,London W10 sity. Bone density decreases - Regular participation in Start gently and build up the likely to stick at it. 6WH - quoting re. EDIN99 slowly from your mid twen- amount of exercise that you physical activity has been ties if not prevented by reg- associated with higher self- do over a period of time, too Patricia Moynihan, Closing date for applications:1st March ular exercise. Osteoporosis much too soon could result Campusport. TALENT COMPETITION 1999 his semeseter USSU petition is not just for bands, rules, which I make up from There will be no sound union) judges for the heats halfway through. Ents and Unplugged but for anybody who can get year to year. Here are this checks, only line checks There will be a panel of six Give some thought to your Twill once again be on stage and entertain. In the years random rules. Sound engineers will external judges for the set, try and give it some hosting the annual talent past we have had dancers, The judges decision is final appointed by the stage final, and an internal chair shape and structure - not just competion. If you already comedians, comedy music in all cases manager 20 minutes of thrash at max- know what its all about, then acts, and others. The heats The on stage time for the Monitors and FOH are Some helpful hints...... imum volume go ahead and fill out the are in the main union on heats must not exceed 20 supplied “as is” (ie Keep it simple, the more If you are going to attempt a entry form. If this is all new Tuesday 9th March, minutes requests for special effects there is to go wrong, then cover version then either to you, then read on. Tuesday 16th March, and The on stage time for the will be denied) the more chance of some- make sure it is note perfect to Thursday 18th March. The final must not exceed 30 Stage lighting will be sup- thing going wrong the original, or try and per- The talent competition is final will be an all-day event minutes plied “as is” Rehearse, rehearse, rehease, form an original arrangement. open to anybody who feels in the Union on Sunday 21st There is no minimum on There will be a panel of there is nothing worse than If things aren’t going to well they have talent! The com- March. There are only a few stage time. three internal (ie from the forgetting your song on stage, keep calm - don’t swear If the monitors, and/or the FOH is not to your liking don’t slag of the engineer in question, that is a good way to get switched off. Don’t rely on the on stage monitors, get used to listen- ing to each other without monitors. When playing through a big PA, the slightest mistake is amplified several hundred times, bear this in mind If you are trying a comedy act, and things aren’t going well - don’t resort to swearing. Bring along as many of your mates as you can. When you are on stage, you will not be able to see the audience. Try rehearsing with a very bright light shin- ing in your eyes, it can be very distracting. Have fun. ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 7 (1,1)

n Thursday 21st January 1999 Music 7

PJ Harvey / The Dirty Three Massive Attack Shepherds Bush Empire, 13 / 12 / 98 London Arena, 4 / 12 / 98 A short description of The Dirty Three from watching the show from theatre seats A dark impenetrable feeling would be that it is a mad hat frenzy of folk stacked up the traditional building. of anxiety hovers cautiously spiced with creshendo chords of humbling Percussion has always been a big part of the over the gathered crowd power. But a disbeliever could look at it PJ Harvey vision so shakers, bongos, mara- awaiting the call of free- another way and just say that it was a bunch cas, and repetitive bass riffs all make their dom. And from out of of removal lads with a mad violinist leading presence felt as the onlookers unconscious- nowhere swirling search- them to anarchy in the bedroom. Kevin ly rock in time. Little is said in-between lights puntuatates the air as Marston songs, the most vocal contributors being the the brooding bass rumbles crowd who shout for whichever obscure b- forward to grab the attention PJ Harvey is the sound of a dark night on the side is their favourite and then follow it up of the bystanders of such an windswept hills of Dorset. The voice calling with ‘Love you PJ’. She smiles, she wails, event and pushes them into to those that are missing, dead, or in times of she leads her band on for an encore, and a sense of psychedelic trouble. From the aggressive stomp of ‘Meet plays a handful of obscure b-sides. The reverie that is ‘Angel’. The Ze Monster’ to the fragile lament of ‘A crowd satisfied, she leaves. No doubt to crooning and haunting Perfect Day Elise’ the mood is dark and return to her ooky spooky home in.... vocals brings the mezzanine compliments the almost alien feel obtained Bridport (!). Andrew Thomas feel to the ground. But as soon as that passes as a dis- Chicks tant memory with miltary us in the form of Liz Fraser Sympathy’ are wavering on Kings Cross Waterats, 19 / 12 / 98 precision the searchlights as she lends her serene vocal the borders of enlighten- again pound out and talents to ‘Teardrop’ to ment and desperation. Yet it An early show for the last date of their small which is the nicest’, from ‘Let Me Go’, ‘Risingson’ hits the air- smooth and calm the mezza- is still not finished for us as headline tour of the U.K, Chicks greet the being both simultaneously utterly brilliant waves for that undeniable nine wave. ‘Daydreaming’ another spoonful of mez- audience with a squealing blast of distortion and unfathomably dumb), in the flesh rock narcotic groove. The and ‘Karmacoma’ are fash- zanin e is added for that and feedback. The Irish three piece have had n’ roll is obviously becoming part of their prensence of altered egos ioned to fill the crowd with mixed wonder of natural tal- a busy six months since the music press life. Despite looking like they could be off fan the stage as the percep- that unsettling feeling of ent and spontanous ingenu- picked up on their debut single, which to a school disco in 1980’s Grange Hill, they tion of the madness of the austere. The finishing ity with the beauty of Liz prompted Ash to ask them to be their sup- continually swig lager and use expletives in one drives the norm into a touches of ‘Safe From Fraser and Shara Nelson. port act. Not bad for some not so innocent the way only a girl in a Hello Kitty t-shirt frenzy. Escapism comes to Harm’ and ‘Unfinished Kevin Marston seventeen year olds with an appreciation of can. Finishing in a bizarre stage show of Bikini Kill (as heard in their mosh friendly rolling on the floor, playing the guitars with Gel / Vyvyan cover, ‘Rebel Girl’). Lyrically they deal their feet, and launching drum sticks in to Kings Cross Waterats, 14 / 1/ 99 with all the important things in life (‘I’m the audience, Chicks know 1999 is going to having a bubblegum crisis, red or blue, be their year. Andrew Thomas Rob Zombie / Backyard Babies Nottingham Rock City 12/12/98

People have come from all unfortunately he has left the showmanship of his past, around to witness the big stage set at home and is and it is the White Zombie promised spectacle of Rob playing a “stripped down” songs that get the best Zombie’s first solo tour, and show. The Zombie band are reception. Not surprising we are treated to the bonus all dressed identically, really as most of the solo of a great support group. dreaded hair, scraggly material is a pale imitation The Backyard Babies are beards and clothing which is of the past. Rob Zombie wrapping up a fantastic probably supposed to sug- also seems to not be too year, which has bothered, he seen them seems to lack progress from enthusiasm for nobodies to the being on-stage, prime good time his between rock’n’roll band song banter on the circuit. A seems well lot of people are rehearsed. The just here to see show is just not them and the working. The band certainly theatrics, such “I think my guitar’s out of die again, the techs return. crowd closer. It is of little deliver. They as the guitarist tune”, comments Hannah, Concluding with debut sin- consequence that each song make use of the drinking lead singer with Vyvyan. gle, ‘Teenage Wannabe’ a seems remarkably similar to small space “blood” from Just one song into their set three man mosh pit jumps the previous one, after all allowed to them the hollow- the guitar techs are called in; about and Vyvyan leave this is pop and pop groups and speed bodied guitar shortly after this Vyvyan looking frustrated. Gel, need consistency. The rendi- through 40 min- during ramp up the sound with however, suffer no such tion of ‘Eternal Flame’ in utes of pure ‘Dragula’ ‘Teen Energy’, a shouty problems. A relentless the encore sets the crowd rock’n’roll with comes over as style and atti- a comic rampage of mis-struck schedule since they signed alight and by the end half of tude. The set moment, which power chords and clattering to Che has ensured that them are dancing on the honed to perfec- I am certain drums. ‘Hate You’ follows, every note is perfect. Sugur stage! Gel are no doubt set tion from was not the their latest release, this time fuzz pop anthems such as for Smash Hits roadshows spending the intention. The on the new Trash Aesthetics ‘Believe We’re Yummy’ this year. Which is a good whole year on evening ends label. The guitars choke and and ‘Catching Ants’ pull the thing. Andrew Thomas the road flies with a boring by. Nicke Borg cover of has become an DREGEN - BACKYARD BABIES Sabbath’s Win Terrorvision Tickets! engaging front- ‘Children Of man, but it is guitarist gest they are zombies, but The Grave’, the band failing The loudest pop rockers in Britain stumble into the Guildford Civic on Dregen who steals the lime- they just look like tramps. to do it any justice at all, and February 2nd. To win 2 tickets just answer the simple question: light, he whirls like a As indeed does Rob then somehow out of Tasmanian devil, guitar Zombie, although a tramp nowhere they get it together On their new single what makes Terrorvision happy? inches from the floor, stop- with a long coat and Gene and storm through ‘Thunder ping only to sing or drink, a Simmons style leg-guards. Kiss 65’, a rousing way to true rock’n’roll star. They Once the music starts the finish. Unfortunately it is All entries must be in by 30th January and e-mailed to win new fans, and end the comparisons with Rob’s for- too little too late. Rob [email protected], leave your name and a contact telephone number. year on a high. mer band White Zombie are Winder The air of expectation for not favourable, the band Rob Zombie is intense, but lack the energy, vitality and ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 8 (1,1)

8 Music Thursday 21st January 1999 n

SINGLE OF THE WEEK Spacehog, with a hint of new wave. Harmony and SINGLES discord, a wonderful voice EMMIE - More Than This 9/10 R.W. underpinned by a dirty gui- (Manifesto) tar sound. Interesting. 7/10 Classic dance reworking of FATBOY SLIM - Praise R.W. NAEM – Parrot Fever a Roxy Music song which You (Skint) (Skint) harbours all the usual A No.1 single and deserved- BJORK - Alarm Call (One Instantly forgettable, second nineties trademarks. ly so. The best track from Little Indian) division dance music. However, to moan about the Fatboy Slim album has Initially this seems to be Lightweight funk and that’s originality and other such his catchiest hook to date. another average Bjork track, about it. 4/10 N.W. minor factors when it comes The piano loop and smooth but soon you realise there is to dance music is to totally vocal make this a winner. more to offer with Mark DOUBLE 6 - Out Of My miss the point. As a post- 8/10 R.W. Bell’s remix. 7/10 R.W. Head (Multiply) midnight dancefloor pleaser A dance 12” picture disc this succeeds. 9/10 A.T. GARBAGE - When I REGULAR FRIES - Fries limited to 2000 copies. The Grow Up (Mushroom) Entertainment (JBO) main man in Double 6 plays NT – Responsibilities EP Another single taken from The Fries as always induce hammond for Oasis, but this (Epic) the album, ‘Version 2.0’, SEBADOH - Flame (Domino) soporific feelings, I’m feel- is straight samples and A bit of superfly, 70’s funk, with all the usual trade- Revolving tight stomp straying slightly from the laissez- ing drowsy as the baggy, loops. More experimental which could come straight marks of Garbage. Shirley faire Barlow swoons of old but maintaining the self-depre- narcotic beats end me off than usual handbag or house of a blaxploitation film. It’s seems to have more direc- cating lyricism and magnetic entrapping melodies. The zzzzzz. I’m sedated but I this retains interest for, ooh, done that well. 9/10 N.W. tion in her lyrics than usual, steely eyed intent of the revolving guitar distortion stamp like it. 7/10 N.W. at least 30 seconds before sighting the consequences out the new Sebadoh manifesto - utterly superb. 9/10 D.J. you get bored. 4/10 A.T. THE MUTTON BIRDS – UMAJETS - When I Wake of unprotected sex among a PJ HARVEY - The Wind course, there are strings, but Up (Clearspot) host of other experiences. Pulled Along By Love (Island) hell, why not - it’s only fit- ANOTHER LEVEL - I What more could you ask Thrilling, but considering (Shhhh! Records) PJ Harvey has always been ting really. If only days Want You For Myself for in the middle of winter most fans should have the Average antipodean guitar worth listening to, and this could be this beautiful in (NWS) but the uplifting sound of album by now, slightly pop. The Crowded House single is no exception. reality. 8/10 D.J. Fourth single from this summery acoustic pop. This pointless? 8/10 A.T. comparison is unavoidable, Taken from her recent ‘Is rather average boy-band, makes you feel good and as is the 2 dimensional This Desire’ album, the GAY DAD - To Earth and the law of that is what music is for. THE OFFSPRING - American M.O.R. compari- haunting melody and With Love (London) diminishing returns is evi- 9/10 R.W. Pretty Fly [For A White son. Harmless, but transient. thrilling vocal drag you in. Jangly post-britpop that dent here. Dull, washed-out Guy] (Columbia) 6/10 N.W. 8/10 R.W. sounds like Supergrass in R+B. Could do a lot MONSTER MAGNET - If you ahve listened to ‘Lenny’ mode. It feels a lit- better, they ahve before. Powertrip (A+M) Radio 1 recently, you will THE LANTERNS - High 3 COLOURS RED - tle limited though and could 2/10 R.W. Rise Town (Columbia) Oh Yes! Mighty full on have heard this. It may Beautiful Day (Creation) do with something to make Throwaway sub-Dubstar metal straight outta New sound like virtually any An emotive ballad guitar it the unique property of this (and that’s saying some- This weeks music is Jersey. Monster Magnet song from their repertoire, epic to end all emotive bal- new band. 7/10 A.T. thing) from an outfit that, brought to you by: take one huge Nugent-style but this Def Leppard steal- lad guitar epics. It makes providing there is justice, Rob Winder, Nick Walsh, riff and wrap it with the atti- ing track, with a quirky, you desperately wish you LOWCRAFT - One Of Us will leave only the legacy of Daniel Jones, and Andrew tude of Kiss. Dave Wyndorf clever and funny lyric hits could have, let alone har- (Disco Volante) putting a washing machine Thomas howls “I’ll never work home. Should be huge. 8/10 ness, this sort of stomach A storming slice of updated on the case of a single. 4/10 another day in my life”, a R.W. crushing emotion. Of seventies glam, not unlike nice thing if you can get it. D.J.

one to stop reading now. Again the rigid formula of organ, ALBUM OF THE WEEK ALBUMS weathered voice and blues gui- THE FAREWELL BEND - late winter months as the work tars are employed, with the In Passing (Slowdime) sets in. ‘Hypokondriak’ borders minimum of variation. Only on Satisfying, luxurious, but des- on irritating but it is also inter- track 6 ‘Racing Cincinnati’ is a perate tones hinting toward a esting - sonic experimentation piano used, in a song similar to melodic country take on within the framework of inces- REM’s ‘Nightswimming’, only Husker Du whilst maintaining a sant melody and easy listening without the appealing melody. certain Bluetip come hardcore electronica provide the bound- Lyrics like ‘I can’t argue with gravitas, or more simply aries here. 7/10 D.J. you, I can’t argue with the Sebadoh around ‘Bubble & blues’ annoy me, and also the Scrape’. Opening with ‘Heads LTJ BUKEM feat MC CON- typical subject matter such as Down’ the stunning vocals RAD & DRS - Progression small town disillusionment. If gradually unearth from the Sessions (Good Looking you compare Mercury Rev’s hook-laden guitar crunch. ‘The Records) take on this genre you realise Pen Ran Out Of Ink’ twinkles, The third in the progression how blinkered and far behind then rocks out and then mean- sessions series has arguably the everyone else is. 5/10 N.W. ders a while but remains the finest drum & bass DJ in the reason understated guitar dis- world, Bukem is back on the BEN FOLDS – Fear of Pop tortion was invented. ‘On 3’ is decks. Having stolen the show (Sony) the most obvious Barlow refer- at Guildford Festival this year, The missing link between piano MAD DOCTOR X – Picnic with the Greys ly a lot of effort has gone into making all the ence - repeating guitar laced this album whilst being a studio lessons and pop music, releases (Freskanova) tracks as dynamic as possible, keeping it inter- with oral acuity and a forlorn mix, contains a live feel and all a side project a million miles The best way to describe this, is perfect old skool esting by not making it too linear, and allowing but hopeful vocal twist. the ridiculous MCing that goes from the slushy trite he’s nor- hip-hop-funk, ideal for for a post-party come- the tracks to grow. My favourite is tack 4 Criticisms lay with a lack of with that. This remains the mally associated with. This col- down. Mad Doctor X is an alias of Funk Wizard ‘Hyperion’ a relaxingmix of piano, bass and gui- variety. 8/10 D.J. most compelling form of dance lection of instrumental and spo- Jay –Rock from acclaimed act Freestylers. I’ve tar. If your into iinformed dance music this is music. 7/10 D.J. ken word songs varies from got a lot of time for this sort of thing as obvious- definitely worth checking out. 9/10 N.W. PLASTIKMAN - Artifacts appallingly bad to slightly good. ‘Slow Jam ’98’ is sick- [BC] (Novamute) CHAMBERLAIN – The avenues to explore they just do showstoppers like Garlands lowbrow indie. It just makes ening restaurant jazz, ‘Kops’ is Going back and completing the Moon My Saddle (Doghouse clichéd pastiches of tired gen- ‘Come Rain Or Come Shine’ feel sick listening to it. I can see hackneyed 70’s funk and ‘I trilogy that started with Sheet America) res. Overall though I feel it is and Bassey’s ‘Goldfinger’. Steve Lamaq going for this sort paid my money’ is horrible 80’s One and Musik, this is essen- From the title alone, you can too left-field for Ben Folds Five What show they would stop is of thing, but then he would. funk metal lite. It gets worse tially what was to have been take a pretty good guess as to fans and too dull for anyone not entirely clear, but you’d The tracks veer from Placebo to however, is like lightweight entitled Klink, the final instal- what this band sounds. Typical else. 3/10 N.W. benefit from missing a show any other three-piece generic. Prodigy minus the balls or the ment, recorded initially in 1995 Mid-West American MOR? that included these. Perhaps its Their main problem is the bass to pull it off. It’s not all . Instead Consumed was Yeah, but fortunately, just V/A - Little Voice (EMI) kitsch though. 3/10 D.J. singer’s obviously limited bad however, the title track is released, but Artefacts goes slightly less bland than their With classics from the like of voice and the obvious lack of original and track 7 ‘Avery M. back to bridge the gap and contemporaries. They easily fit Judy Garland, Shirley Bassey, THE JUNKET – Stamina talent at songwriting. Sums up Powers Memorial Beltway’ is complete the initial threee into the same bracket as Marilyn Munroe, Billie (Deceptive) the problem with this country. akin to ‘Smile’ era Beach Boys album blueprint. A phasic jour- Counting Crows, Matchbox 20 Holiday, Tom Jones and Jane This seven-track mini-album 2/10 N.W. with it’s use of Theremin. It just ney as ever, they’d be little bet- and Hootie and the Blowfish Horrocks this is the sound of from new Deceptive three seems of instead of trying new ter than this to relax to over the etc. Which is enough for any bold, brash, knock-’em-dead piece, is basically just dull, ed990121.qxd 22/01/9910:13Page9(1,1)

Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday 30th 29th 28th 27th 26th 25th 24th 23rd 22nd Thursday 21stJanuary1999 R wn iy-D Quik SwingCity-DJ HRB 8pm 9 -2 sun-thurs 13.30(exceptsun)16.0018.3021.00 n Fri Jan22nd-Thurs28th1999 sun-thurs 12.2014.5517.3020.25 sun-thurs 12.4015.1518.0020.35 h aeat I Guide Thursday21st-Friday29th The BarefactsGIG sun-thurs 12.3015.3018.0020.40 fri 12.1014.3017.0019.3022.00 fri-thurs 12.3015.3018.1020.45 fri- sat12.2015.1518.1521.20 fri-sat 13.1515.4518.2021.10 fri-sat 13.3016.0018.4021.10 fri-sat 13.4516.4519.1521.50 WWW.ODEON.CO.UK Whispering Bob@CamdenMonarch sun-thurs 14.3017.4020.30 sun-thurs 12.0515.4519.30 sun-thurs 14.3017.2520.20 sat 14.3017.0019.3022.00 Julian Cope@LondonDingwalls fri-sat 14.3018.4521.40 fri-sat 12.4016.3020.30 Star Trek: Insurrection sun-thurs 15.1520.50 sun-thurs 12.1517.50 The OppositeofSex The PrinceofEgypt 0870 5050007 Delakota @LondonAstoria The MaskofZorro Enemy oftheState fri-sat 16.0021.30 fri-sat 13.0018.30 Mogwai @LondonAstoria The Parent Trap Practical Magic Meet JoeBlack fri-thurs13.15 sat-sun 12.30 Cineline Little Voice The Seige sun 13.15 Bulworth sat 12.20 Psycho ANTZ Saturday 23rd Thursday 21st Monday 25th Stay @Home Sunday 24th Friday 22nd NOTICES 562 142ext.:5attheGuildfordInstitute. £90 orthenearestoffer. IfinterestedcontactSara(daytime)on01483 the computersatuniversity, soworkcanbetransferredontoWindows. up andprintcourseworkdissertations.Itisalsocompatiblewith age. AlsoLemmingsgame!Itisidealforastudentwishingtotype manuals. Thecomputerhaswordperfect5.1andaspreadsheetpack- 286 NECComputeranddotmatrixprinterforsale+alltherelevant Quick SaleWanted. ComputerandPrinterforSale!!! Please phone01428714634(evenning/weekends) Car OwneressentialYou mustlikeanimals(friendlyCollieresident) childcare egBabysittingisrequired.Referenceswillbesought. Housekeeping skillspreffered butnotessential.Someexperienceof tion forrightperson. girls age14,10andboyof5duringschoolholidays.Permanentposi- Professional familyseekchildfriendlystudentforsolecharge of2 Two owners,45,000miles£1,995(Test driveifrequired) Nissan Micra1.0LS,HReg,Silver Smoking Areapermanentlywitheffect from18thJanuary. It hasnowbeenagreedthatthelibraryresterauntwillbecomeaNo- for theperiod1September1998-January171999. The LibraryResterauntwasmadeaNo-Smokingareaontrialbasis dents isanoption. can helpcontactli82ch.Backtobackleasewithmanagementsstu- 3 languagestudentslookingforaccom.SepttoDec.1999.Ifyou AGM MotorClubTuesday 9thFebruary19.30LTB Rag AGMMonday1stFebruary6pmHari’s Bar Dark @LondonHighburyUpstairsattheGarage Gamesoc EGMSunday24thjan Smoking inLibraryRestaurant Barenaked Ladies@ShepherdsBushEmpire Snowpony @LondonHighburyGarage Accomodation Needed Child Minderneeded Cay @LondonIslingtonRedEye Mansun @GuildfordCivicHall Computer ForSale Car forSale Entertainments Guide9 Kent @LondonULU Wednesday 27th Thursday 28th Tuesday 26th Friday 29th ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 10 (1,1)

10 Reviews and Previews Thursday 21st January 1999 n Film Reviews SECOND YEAR FOR AWARD FOR YOUNG PHOTOJOURNALISTS

he Anne Bolt Memorial folio of five photographs, which may Award, to be presented in July be linked, on the theme ‘Arrivals and Sponsors: T1999, will be awarded for the Departures’. The pictures must have The National Union of Journalists, second year running. The competi- been taken between April 1, 1998 the Journalists’ Copyright Fund, tion, launched in 1998, is in memory and March 31, 1999. Alliance Multi Media Insurance and of travel photographer and writer, the International Federation of Anne Bolt. Anne Bolt was an active Judges are: Journalists’. member of the National Union of Colin Jacobson, Senior Research Journalists and a key figure in the Fellow at Cardiff University and edi- The Journalists’ Copyright Fund is development of the 1988 Copyright tor of Reportage; administered by the NUJ and super- Act. Jane Bown, photographer on The vised by a committee of independent Observer; and trustees for the benefit of all UK The winner of the 1998 award was Brian Harris, chief photographer on journalists entitled to benefit from last year’s Ian Parry Award winner, The Independent. copyright collection. photojournalist Simon Roberts. The competition is open to photo- Prizes: Contact: Pamela Morton at the NUJ, journalists (including students) under £700, £300, £200 (t) 0171-843 3708, (f) 0171 837 25 on April 30, 1999. 8143, (email) HYPERLINK mail- Deadline for entries to:[email protected] pame- Entrants are asked to provide a port- 7th May 1999 [email protected] What’s on in Guildford - Free Tickets Available

Hideous Kinky (15) Coming up in the area over the next few weeks. Guildford’s Yvonne Arnaud Theatre (01483 440000). Cinemas from 5th Feb In Julia’s quest for spiritual enlight- Guildford Civic Hall (01483 Director: Gillies MacKinnon enement and adventure, life’s 444555) Starring: Kate Winslet and Said lessons come hard and fast - surviv- Sleuth (Tues 19 Jan to Sat 30 Jan / Times vary Taghmaoui ing as a penniless mother in a for- / £7.00 to £20.50). Sleuth is a masterly The Magic of Vienna (29th Jan / 7.30pm / Tickets eign country can be quite harsh. thriller, an examination of obsession, both £10 and £13) presented by The Guildford iles MacKinnon (director of funny and chilling, a gripping, tense thriller Philharmonic Orchestra promises to be a magical Regeneration, Small Faces, Set against the breath-taking displaying two fine actors (Peter Bowles and evening of music from the 18th and 19th Century Trojan Eddie) has adapted scenery of Morocco, Hideous Kinky Michael Maloney) at their very best. G Vienna. Esther Freud’s timeless novel claims to capture all the vibrancy, Hideous Kinky. It’s a semi-autobio- passion and colour of a holiday The New Victoria, Woking (01483 Geno Washington & The Purple Aces (22nd Jan graphical account of spritely young romance that you wish would never / 7.45pm / £10adv). Soul and Blues legend Geno 761144). thing Julia (Winslet) who whisks end, and all the superstition night- Washington returns to the Civic with yet more her young daughters Lucy and Bea mare and unfamiliarity of a land tunes and tales, in a Cabaret style setting. Peter Pan (now until Sun 31 Jan / Times vary / £8- off to Morocco in the heady years of where the streets have no name. £16). The all star line-up includes the likes of Russ free love and irresponsibility. Daniel Jones Craig Charles (5th Feb / 8.00pm / £11.50 - concs Abbot in a story about a pirate and the promise of available). The irreverent wit, keen observations dazzling special effects and hilarious comedy, not and social comment have made him one of the to mention colourful costumes. most popular performance poets and stand-up comedians of his generation, and he’s very funny Wilde Theatre @ South Hill Park too. Arts Centre, Bracknell (01344 Ballroom Dance Special (30th Jan / 8.00pm / 484123) £6.50adv & £7.50door). Step-Toes Dance Promotions will be bringing a touch of glamour and The Music of Frank Sinatra (Sat 6 Feb / 8pm / grace to the Guildford Civic with the return of their £10 & £8 conc). The evergreen music of Frank ever popular Ballroom Dance Specials, where you Sinatra is celebrated by vocalist Denny Ilett and can spectate or participate in Ballroom, Latin sixteen outstanding musicians in a show that fea- American and Sequence. tures many great favourites including New York, New York.

DANCE Small film Production PERFORMANCES Locally Based Resolution! 5 Jan - 13 Feb. The Place Theatre, London. Looking for a dialogue writer Resolution! is the annual showcase of work from some of the UK’s young choreogra- phers. Lasting for 6 weeks, Resolution! con- £80 + a major credit in the film. tains 93 companies and is composed of night- ly triple bills. The companies include gradu- 2-3 hrs a day during a time ates showing their work for the first time, those who have been invited back from last convenient to the applicant. year and 10 European companies. Mark Murphy, Wayne McGregor and Pit Fong Loh are amongst the many choreographers who 3 Days only made their debut appearance in Resolution! A must for all dance enthusiasts, budding choreographers or those of you who want to go and see something completely different. please contact

Contact Box office 0171 387 0031 for a Claire Saunders asap brochure. on 01483 822 374 ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 11 (1,1)

n Thursday 21st January 1999 Personals and Competitions 11

The editor apologises for the fact that half of these are out of date but Crossword No 90 Personals some of them appeared too good to miss.

■ And the winner of the most bestiality” Kirsty, Meat and two veg check laugh at everything he says????? Chrissmassy kitchen is Speirs 2! ■ “sorry lisa...” out O.K. Andy. From the girls who WANT to Hoooray ■ Sam monkey is good in bed, ■ Sinnock resigns from TESCO know! ■ Alex and Lisa - You are the ask the little checkout girl! in argument over excessive hours. ■ I thought builders were to be Speirs version of Santa’s little ■ Coxy shags like an old man on ■ Ode for Alkey, Roses are red, seen not heard? Tried living in elves!! viagra, tee hee Lilacs are white, what’s going on Surrey Court this last week????? ■ Be good without me, Badger ■ Sam monkey has a freak mate, your chat up line’s shite! ■ Stag Hill John, How arrogant? slag! growth on his shoulder ■ Government Health Warning, ■ Nice arse Darian. xxx k & c & ■ Mrs Brady wants to play. Are ■ Happy Christmas to everyone Mr Valleys whilst pregnant can s. you ready? on level 2 House 1A Cath Court damage your unborn baby.. ■ The ‘itchy scratchy’ show ■ Watching the stars is better in ■ Hmmm....Mistletoe...what a ■ Sven, do you remember this reigns supreme!!! your room. handy little plant!!! time last year, what on earth has ■ little miss naughty has been ■ Luke! Have a very Happy ■ Happy Christmas Sharon and happened to you mate? down on everything but the titan- pissed 21st birthday. Lots and lots Tracy, Love Dorien xxx P.S Be ■ Claire E. The BBC’s Straggly ic...HASN’T SHE? of love and other stuff!?! me xxxx good at Xmas!!! expert on PERIOD dramas. B.B. ■ Jon, Stop reading the personals ■ Sorry foir the very belated ■ Dirty Devils will be back in ■ Knowing Me Alan Partridge, and do some work - Stallion birthday wish ! - It wouldn’t be January Knowing you Chunder-boy Glen ■ Happy new year everybody me if it had got in on time! Love ■ Don’t forget ALL FOR ONE Ponder, AaaaHaaa... ■ Louise - Nice, nice, nice!!!! Dappy! AND ONE FOR ALL!!!!! ■ J.B. and B.B. in Reading drink- ■ 27 days till we get beered up in ■ Cher Christophe- Je t’aime ■ Flip-flops: practical everyday ing and breakfast carnage the union with all our mates, bébé! Je t’embrasse, Ta footwear for the sporting man. ■ Pete Thong,show us your ding HOUSE UK, Florida. Parisienne. ■ Twyford/Cathedral Courts did dong! ■ Welcome back to all the 3rd ■ Oscar Film Unit AGM - you enjoy our carol singing??? ■ Jasari,hope your projects were year reatil students, Nigel. Across Down Tuesday 2nd February (week 3) ■ LAA, LA LA LAA, LA LA good over christmas! ■ Blimey! The blond Barnet bog 7. Straw hat (6) 1. A medicinal draught (6) 6pm, LT-H. To include election of LAA, LA LA LAA! LAA, LA LA ■ Get ready.... SUPER SPIN bonker is back - happy new year 8. Untilled (6) 2. Heavenly (8) new committee. LAA, LA LA LAAAA... TURN!!!!! everyone! 9. Prevalent (4) 3. Hooked instruments (8) ■ Dear George “rentboy” ■ Taz you are a bastard!!!But I ■ Happy Christmas Party Mole4 - ■ Jon, or should I say George - 10. A native of South 4. A long way off (4) Michael, hope you had a lavvy will be in red this friday... Let the ice-cream carnage com- let’s go ‘outside’! America (8) 5. An East European (4) Christmas and a crappy ■HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAIRE! mence! ■ Calling the London loo lad - 11. Advantage (8) 6. A salad fruit (6) ■ New year...what were you YOU MAD PERSON YOU! ■ jim and iz - what’s going on how about a quickey in the lav?! 13. Run smoothly (4) 12. They bring horses to fit- doing in that toilet Jon Sparrow, ■ Cedar Way and meat scandle. there, then? ■ james, good luck with that new 14. Kitty (4) ness (8) UC 66??? ■ Debbie, if you can’t remember, ■ Watch out for the cheeky salad italian chick in your floor! 16. Pirate (3-5) 13. Shoes, for example (8) ■ oh dear oh dear oh dear, I I’ll remind you ... and maybe flinger - it may get on your jeans ■ The residents of the House of 18. An extinct elephant (8) 15. Made a speech (6) thought Jon S was such an inno- you’ll get more! Dan’s EX-friend! ■ is a bell worth knocking? Sin have gone to conquer Europe. 21. Fleecy material (4) 17. Eaten away (6) cent little lad but now I know he ■ To the Mechie MEng boys, I’ll ■ Womens FC admit defeat in The legend lives on!!! 22. Criminals (6) 19. Implement (4) has a fetish for toilets, I’m not miss drinking CONSTANTS with end of season very expensive hol- ■ Ivy, I cant wait until you come 23. Bellowed (6) 20. Twilight (4) quite sure what to think. Beware you. Keep in touch! Stef!!! iday shocker to Paris. Love La Poubelle any girls, George Michael imper- ■ Blondeness is a frame of mind! ■ she’s life, jim, but not as we ■ A big BONJOUR from Paris to Last Weeks Solution sonater is in the Isn’t it Susan, Emma and Nadia? know it! Good effort! all hockey birds, wherever you building...Somewhere!!!! Stay away from the cooker!!! ■ USFC commit “Mick Jagger” may be! Across: 1. cheery 4. artful 8. acrid 9. surmise 10. corrode 11. ultra ■ 12. prevalent 17. bulbs 19. enquire 21. corsair 22. Aztec 23. sick- “Kyle says, it doesn’t hurt!” ■ It’s Been Emotional. Sinnock in Xtra large kit investigation ■ Margaret and Ann, miss you ■ en 24. florin “apparently the prince likes ■ TESCO Checkouot Babe ■ never had anyone stay the already luv Sparkly xxx Down: 1. chancy 2. ear-drop 3. radio 5. re-route 6. feint 7. leeway night, hey Cathy!?! ■ Hello everyone I know, espe- 9. shed a tear 13. enslave 14. twister 15. abacus 16. beacon 18. Craig Charles ■ M&S Sales Assistants, watch cially the ex 61 fit birds luv spark- lyric 20. quail out for Marina. She’s a sly one! ly xx ■ ■ Solution to the last crossword Down: 1. buckle 2. staunch 3. Dan - she’s watching you Ginger tosser, I thought maths before Chrstmas (No 88) refusing 5. lull 6. Metro 7. ■ Housewife Ewan - what a sexy was your strong point luv sparkles Across: 1. bistro 4. blimps 9. scrubs 8. Whimsical 13. forgiv- pinny! xx chaff 10. holster 11. lonesome en 15. kestrel 16. inborn 17. ■ Buh Bye !!!! ■ “Chris No. 1’ave a wicked 12. bomb 14. handiwork 18. versus 19. radii 21. knee ■ Happy birthday Kirsten, with birfdiy mate luv vix” nark 20. largesse 22. ordinal Crossword Compiled by love from us all.xxxx ■ Stop reading the paper JON and 23. virus 24. noises 25. knolls Jeff Blackham ■ How much does he pay you to do some work, - Stallion Psycho Competition The new adaptation of Psycho, directed by Gus Van Sant sees Vince Vaugh (Swingers) as Norman Bates and Anne Heche as his shower partner, Marion. It’s already on release and to celebrate we have: 2 Psycho T-Shirts 1 Baseball Cap 1 Bates Motel Keyring Craig Charles will be playing the Civic Hall (01483 444555) on Friday 5th February at 8.00pm. The star of To claim these gifts answer this simple question. BBC’s ‘Red Dwarf’ and presenter of ‘Robot Wars’, Craig Charles is constantly in demand as an actor, pre- Which Union Sabbatical would you most like to senter and writer, yet the backbone of his career have a cold shower with and why? remains his live performances...’It is the instant feed- back that is the buzz’. Who directed the original Psycho film? BBC seeks new comedians for exciting On stage his irreverent wit, keen observations and social comment have made him one of the most popu- relationship. lar performance poets and stand-up comedians of his generation. Final years might remember his visit to GSOH essential! The BBC is scouring the country our Union in their first year soon after ‘that’ contro- for the best new stand up comedians to enter the versy in his life. Anyway he unleashed a string of BBC new Comedy Awards. IF you can make people rebukes on anyone who dared heckle, whilst keeping a laugh then phone 0990 116644 for full entry details. football up for several minutes durig his poetry corner. But hurry, the closing date is the end of February!

Tickets are £11.50 with concessions available or to If you - or someone you know - need inspiration we experiience the fun for free, simply enter this compe- have teamed up with BBC Worldwide for the chance tition by answering this ridiculously hard question: to win a selection of cassettes of some of the best names in comedy today including Paul WhiteHouse How many series of Red Dwarf have there been? and Steve Coogan , including a copy of the Fast Show Live video. NB. All competition entries to Barefacts To enter, answer the following question: Office [email protected] Who plays Alan Partridge? ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 12 (1,1)

12 Charity Thursday 21st January 1999 n Imperial Cancer’s and the University of Surrey Students’ Union’s Super Sports Day

ll for charity mate. Unihoc four of your friends or fami- SUPER SPORTS DAY 1999 Super Sports Day is (6 team members) lies (mum, dad, grannies TEAM REGISTRATION FORM Ayour chance to help a Basketball etc) pledging £10 and anoth- charity whose aim is to help 1 (6 team members) er ten or so people (brothers, Name of in 3 of us who get some form Football sisters or floor mates!) giv- Team:...... of cancer in their life time. (6 team members) ing £3 or £4, the price of a Most people think that it will Archery or Table Tennis couple of pints! There will .. only affect some one who is (4 team members) be t-shirts available for each in their 50’ or 60’s, but sadly Climbing or Tennis team member that raises Fitness Advice: To take part in the Super Sports Day, you do not need to be an ath- this is an incorrect assump- (4 team members) over £100 and a prize for the lete however, you should be reasonably fit. If you have any doubts, please consult tion, it can affect people our highest fund-raising team - your doctor. age, 18-30’s. All teams will play in the so good luck! unihoc, basketball and foot- We, the undersigned, would like to take part in the sponsored Super Sports Day at This is definitely going to be ball tournaments. Teams If you’ve read and under- University of Surrey on the 28th February 1999. We have read the fitness advice and a fun day, and through the can then choose between stood this article, then you understand that we take part at our own risk. We absolve the Imperial Cancer Research sponsorship of our Super archery or table tennis and will realise the amount of Fund and the University of Surrey from responsibility for any death or bodily injury Sports Day we will be able climbing or tennis. Prizes effort which has gone into incurred (except when caused by the negligence of the above named organisations) or to contribute much needed for the highest (and lowest!) this already. damage sustained to property through participation in this event.

Captain:...... Signature:......

Name 2.:...... Signature:......

Name 3:...... Signature:......

Name 4:...... Signature:......

Name 5:...... Signature:......

Name 6:...... Signature:......

Our first choices for the option sports are: Eddie “The Eagle” Edwards and Sports Officer Alex Langley get to grips with Super Sports Day Now we need your help. If funds to help advance this scoring teams will be award- Archery Table Tennis (please circle one) you are interested in enter- charity’s work helping many ed at the end of the day at a ing a team for the day or AND of us in the future. special prize ceremony. Climbing or Tennis (please circle one) wish to have a chat about the charity then come to the We are looking for enthusi- The entries are open to local Sports Office in the Choices will be allocated on a first come, first served basis although every effort astic mixed teams of six businesses, clubs and the Students’ Union and see will be made to accommodate your choices. people comprising friends public. This in itself will be Alex, Gemma or any of the from your floor, work, seen as a positive step to inte- Sabbaticals for information. Please return this form by the 29th of January to either the Sports Office, department, home, family grating the local community Alternatively call on extn. Union Reception or any member of Sport Exec. etc. (male and female) to with the University through a 9981 or 259981. Or fill in play the following sports: sporting social event. Any queries call Alex or Gemma on x9981 (from your KUB) this form and return it by the end of week 2, the 29th of /259981. Thank You! All we ask for is that each January, showing your inter- person tries to raise at least est in competing or helping £75 each, that’s just three or out! ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 13 (1,1)

n Thursday 21st January 1999 Careers 13 Dr Russ Dear Russ Careers Service at one of the view you’ve got to convince London Colleges. They all yourself you really want the I’ve got interviews coming had 2.1s, they were all per- job. Employers are always up and I hate the thought fectly qualified and they on the look out for enthusi- of having to ‘sell’ myself. were all extremely pleasant. asm, motivation, ambition It all seems so artificial. If only I’d had six jobs to fill and interest in their appli- Do I have to play their silly I’d have been laughing! But cants. All other factors games? I didn’t. Fortunately, at the being equal, they’re bound end of every interview I to prefer people who convey Dear Dan asked them all the same that kind of attitude. question. “If I were to offer I guess what’s really gnaw- you this job what would you Every year I take Milkround ing at you is the worry that say?” I hated myself for interviewers to lunch you’ll have to pretend to be asking it, but I kind of felt it between their morning and someone you’re not in order might prove crucial. It did. afternoon appointments. to impress the interviewer. The first five answered “I’d I’m dismayed to hear them Let me reassure you that be very interested in it”, the say, on occasion, how bor- employers want to see the last answered “I’d really ing some of their candidates real person, not an actor! At love this job”. No prizes for have been. If a colourful the same time, they do want guessing who I offered it to. candidate appears amongst you to sound enthusiastic You see, not only did the a sea of grey faces, the inter- about working for them. sixth candidate come out viewer is bound to remem- After all, how can they with a more convincing ber them at the end of a long know you really want the answer, she also sounded as and tiring day. Trying to job unless you tell them! if she really meant it. It’s sell yourself may seem a bit not just what you say that’s artificial, but it’s definitely Let me give you an example important, it’s also how you worth it. of how this works in prac- say it. Russ Clark tice. I once interviewed six Careers Service graduates for a job in the Before you go for an inter-

Skills Training The first Skills Development sessions this Presentations for the Petrified semester are:- Friday 29 January (12noon-1pm) and (1pm-2pm) Taking the Lead Tuesday 26 January (4pm-6pm) These sessions are shorter versions of the in the Grant Mitchell Room. popular workshop last semester.

This interactive workshop will look at areas Areas such as dealing with nerves, deliv- such as motivation, supporting others and ery styles and building confidence are making decisions. It will aim to help people dealt with in a relaxed and friendly man- understand more about standing out from ner. Aimed at all those that find giving the crowd and would be particularly relevant presentations a difficult experience or to society committee members, those inter- doing a presentation in the near future. ested in people management and individu- als wanting to examine their leadership For more details or to sign up for these potential. FREE workshops, contact Rodney Bates on ext. 3177 or e-mail ([email protected]) ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 14 (1,1)

14 Surrey Pride Thursday 21st January 1999 n

SPORTS CLUBS ENQUIRY FORM I W A N T T O J O I N A S P O R TS C L U B Anyone for Football?!?

Whether you are a professional, a complete beginner, or somewhere between the two, if you are inter- can still remember my first game for the shorts that looked more like French knick- ested in joining a Sports Club at Surrey University please complete the following information, and we University of Surrey Women’s Football ers- playing left back for the University of will put you in contact with the sports club/s of your choice and send you any relevant information. IClub. I was in my first year and it was Surrey Women’s footy team. Name: midway through the first semester. I hadn’t Address: got involved in a sports club as I was in Three years later, I’m still playing but in a town with a mate on the day of the Sports different position and a lot nicer kit. I’ve tel no: email: Fayre. But all that changed. met a lot more people, have a great social Please tick the boxes for any sports you are interested in. If you would like to join a sports club life and am probably a lot fitter. The point is, not listed here, please provide information under ‘Other’. I was sat eating my tasty pot noodle around if you want to get involved in University 12.30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon when sport, it’s not too late. The women’s Footie o Aerobics o Football Mens o Rugby Union Mens the phone rang. It was a girl from the foot- club, like many Uni sports clubs, is open to o Aikido o Football Womens o Rugby Union Womens ball team and she wanted to speak to me. anyone with the enthusiasm to take part. o American Football o Freestyle Karate o Rugby League Mens She’d heard that I had gone on a football You don’t have to be a great footballer - you o Archery o Frisbee o Rugby League Womens tour at school and wondered if I fancied a don’t even have to have played before. The o Athletics o Golf o Running game as they were short. I explained that I only stipulation is that you’re female and o Backgammon o Gliding o Sailing/Yachting o Badminton Mens o Gymnastics o Scout & Guide was a very non-playing spectator and had I’m sure we could overlook that if you’re o Badminton Womens o Hiking o Shinty only taken to the field as the majority of the keen enough. o Basketball Mens o Hockey Mens o Shotokan Karate squad had injured themselves on the gravel o Basketball Womens o Hockey Womens o Skateboarding that masqueraded as a Spanish football We train on Thursday 6.30-8pm and Sunday o Billiards o Ice Hockey Mens o Ski-ing pitch. She wasn’t put off, however, and I felt 2-4pm (ideal to catch up on the previous o Boat o Ice Hockey Womens o Snooker my stomach turn as I mumbled something nights hot gossip) at the Varsity Centre - just o Boxing o Inline Skating o Squash Mens that may have been deciphered as “well, I come along and see what we get up to or o Canoe o Judo o Squash Womens could do”. An hour later I found myself give Anne a call on 569993 for more info. o Chess o Karate o Sub Aqua Club down at the Varsity centre in a pair of bor- o Clay Pigeon o Korfball o Surfing o Climbing o Lacrosse o Swimming rowed shin pads and my trainers - not to Biri o Cricket o Mountain Biking o Table Tennis mention a gorgeous ex-Oldham kit with o Cross Country o Mountaineering o Taijitsu o Cycling o Mountain Walking o Tenpin Bowling Ever Decreasing Circles o Dangerous Sports o Netball o Trampolining o Diving o Octopush o Triathlon he torrential, mon- understated hat-trick from sumption of Turkey and Ale o Duke of Edinburgh o Orienteering o Unihoc soon like rains did lit- Pinnochio Burman. The first was demonstrated by the o Equestrian/Riding o Parachute o Volleyball Ttle to alter the fixture team stuttered to a second majority of the club with o Fencing Mens o Powerlifting o Waterpolo programme for USFC this successive 2-2 draw away at some pitiful performances o Fencing Womens o Rifle/Shooting o Whitewater Rafting Saturday, but when all said Windlesham with goals throughout the afternoon. o Fives (Rugby) o Rowing o Windsurfing and done most of us were from Pussy Catt (header) The recommencement of o Other wishing they had done. With and a dubiously converted Monday evening training ...... both the Graduate and penalty by Lee Turner (avec will hopefully go some way Industrial year teams losing Dumplings). 21 year old to reducing the level of tripe Please hand this form in to Alex or Gemma anytime at the Sports Office in the Students Union. Telephone 259981 or e-mail [email protected] to promotion rivals, the Turner, from Swanage, also running around the Varsity firsts 0-2 to Thorpe Green appeared in last weeks Centre and various away and the reserves 1-3 to Surrey Advertiser after his venues this coming New Chiropractic Clinic Set Up Chertsey (scorer Tile goal helped Stoke Spartak to Saturday. Which will, no Grouting Davey), the glory a 3-1 win over Caterham in doubt be celebrated with a new chiropractic ropractors who will be educational process was left to the B team with a the Sunday Intermediate cup vast quantity of alcohol and clinic has just been working at the new clinic involved in becoming a chi- 5-1 demolition of Shalford quarter finals last weekend. a trip to a curry Aset up as part of the have been team doctors for ropractor uses scientific and with goals from Bruvva With neither reserves or the house...... Miffy MSc chiropractic pro- various sports and have standardized methods. This Sumner, Compensation C team competing at the gramme that the university treated world class athletes. is reflected in the care given Berry and a gloriously, weekend the copious con- is running. This new clinic at the new clinic, and in the is located in the university Dr. Morley, the course focus on clinical research. research park on Frederick director says that he will be How To... Sanger Drive. encouraging students in In order to raise public general and students with awareness of the new clinic, How to turn a front somersault on a People generally associate sports related injuries to the benefits of chiropractic chiropractic with the treat- come to the clinic. In recog- care and the rigorous 5 year trampoline. W ith Liam Carey. ment of back pain, neck nition of the fact that stu- education involved in pain and headache. dents are often living under becoming a chiropractor, henever he/she Chiropractors treat a range a large financial burden, regular talks will be given feels you are of musculo-skeletal prob- there will be fee reductions on Wednesday evenings. Wready your coach lems. The public is often for University of Surrey stu- They will be free. will say, “lets try a front unaware of the role that the dents. somersault” and you will chiropractic profession has Anyone interested can generally say, “er....no.” But in successfully treating Another focus of the clinic phone 259770 for more don’t worry, you soon get sports injuries. Many pro- will be clinical research. information. used to the room being fessional sports teams and Projects investigating back upside down. Olympic teams have chiro- pain, sports injuries and Joseph Morley First you learn the front practors as part of the med- headache are the goals over EIHMS University of drop. This is basically where ical team. Some of the chi- the next few years. The Surrey you land on the bed (thats the springy bit of the tram- poline) face down. The first Sports Standing Council time is scary as your head FANTASTIC CAR Meeting seems to go towards the bed FOR SALE!!! quicker than you would like. Lecture Theatre E Next, from hands and knees Tuesday 26th Jan you turn over onto your Finally, you do a three-quar- Liam trampolines with the Nissan Micra 1.0 LS, H back, and then the same ters somersault and then a university club and is a Reg, Silver 18.00 thing from standing. Then full somersault. At first you qualified British Two careful owners, Attendance is compulsory from at least 1 you do a turn over from will be supported by your Trampolining Federation rep from every club. hands and knees, tucking coach...once he/she has got coach. He says, “if you 45,000 miles, £1,995 your legs in and then stick- If you can’t make it send apologies to the hand grip right! want to try this out come Contact John Perrin ext ing them out to land on your Honestly, we are all B.T.F to the sports hall on 9298 Alex or Rob (only with extremely good seat [arse]. certified. Wednesdays, Fridays, or excuses) Sundays”. ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:13 Page 15 (1,1)

n Thursday 21st Janaury 1999 Surrey Pride 11

Surrey Pride Star Profiles First Past the Post Campusport News Number 9 Rob & Rich by Eddie Heardman Welcome back and a reaching. elcome back to regularly making the frame happy new year to you the world of the without winning. He should all. SALESALESALESALE- Whorses following be a good each way bet, if a SALESALESALESALE- an eventful break. I finished value price. Cumbrian Courses and Classes - This SALESALESALESALE- off the year with another Challenge won a Grade 2 all starts on Monday 18th SALE four winners and a second, chase at Wetherby on soft Jan with our FREE WEEK. with only Pridwell letting ground when unfancied, and There are not many things You may have noticed their me down. Northern Starlight it could be interesting to see in life that are free so please was not the traditional beat Simply Dashing to the if he follows up. However, take advantage and come Campusport Sale before Tripleprint Gold Cup, Suny Flying Instructor appears to and try something new or Xmas. Worry not, we have Bay took the Tommy be the one to be with. On just work off those excess not forgotten you. Starting Whittle chase, while Let’s Sunday, we see the Irish calories after the Xmas cele- Monday 18th Jan, for TWO Be Frank and Tamarindo champion hurdle at brations. Brochures and WEEKS in the sport centre both won smaller races earli- Leopardstown. This appears Rob Fearnley and Rich Watts timetables will be shop, we will be devoting er in the week. Those figures to be a one horse race. With take me to 9 winners, 6 one of the best hurdlers of Vital Stats; distributed to schools and half the shop to sale items in key locations and can also the ‘BLACK AND WHITE placed and 5 unplaced, (with all-time, Istabraq, hard to Age: 21 and 18 be picked up from the Sport SALE’. Any items with a quite a few non-runners!). oppose, it’s surely a race for Dept: Psychology/Maths Centre Reception. black and white ticket will second, and I’m plumping Nicknames: Basher/Bisher Alternatively ring us and show a mark down. Teeton Mill continued his for French Holly. On Measurements: 5’11’’/6’5’’ we’ll put one in the internal Clothing, footwear, rackets, devastating form with an Saturday, Haydock has a Sporting Interests (and why?): post. hats, balls, bags etc. will be easy victory in the King quality card, and with many Badminton (because of the mixed doubles????) included. Bring a friend, George VI chase at horses doubly entered, I’m Marital Status: Definitely Not UniS Mugs and Scarves - bring two, we look forward Kempton on Boxing Day, bound to have more non- are now being sold from the to seeing you. earning himself favouritism runners. In the Premier Personal Info; sport centre shop - mugs for both the Gold Cup (7-2) Long Distance Hurdle, I What is your favourite feature? £2.99, scarves £14.99. Squash - UniS Guildford and the Grand National take Deano’s Beeno to make “Suits you Sir” ad before every film at the cinema won again recently 3-2, at (8’s). Kendal Cavalier won it 4 wins out of 5. If What do you go for in a man/woman? Experimental Golf - The development is Cardiff, to maintain top a battle in a swamp at Pharanear can return to his research in progress/blonde hair, lives at Stag Hill (No. 11) progressing well and Geoff position in their league. The Chepstow to wrest the form of two years ago, he Favourite Drink? Coke/Milk Wheeler, our Golf next league game is at the Welsh National crown from may have a chance of a Favourite Food? Balti’s Administrator, has proposed Varsity Centre on Tue 26th Earth Summit at 14-1, leav- place. Last year’s winner of Favourite Music? anything/Counting Crows, Matchbox 20 some interesting indoor and Jan v Lee on Solent. ing me wishing I’d taken the the three mile Peter Marsh (Good work fella, Sports Ed) outdoor training facilities. 20’s available earlier in the Chase, General Wolfe, The student team has quali- Dance - Two new courses morning! This win has put makes his first appearance Sporting Info: fied under his guidance to (i.e. you must sign up for him in the Aintree picture, since then, and will proba- What does Surrey Sport give you? the BUSA 1/4 final stage. the ten weeks) this term as as he now bids to emulate bly need the run, while The opportunity to thrash other Universities Squad members are receiv- well as all the regulars. New the feats of his predecessor. Simply Dashing may finally ing guidance on health and brochure available from the The much awaited duel find the way to the winner’s What is your; nutrition in their preparation sport centre reception. between Florida Pearl and enclosure, with Glitter Isle Suny Bay in the Ericsson and Torduff Express to fill most memorable moment in Surrey Sport? and a training weekend at ‘Breaking and Popping’ on Chase at Leopardstown left the minor places. Wahiba Getting through to the last day of the BUSA championship at Woodhall Spa has been Mon 7-8 Uni Hall with pundits with more questions Sands may be expected to Nottingham (scum - venue arranged. A more in depth Drew from Pineapple than answers, as Doran’s run well in the Inter City funniest moment you can recall from your days at article will be appearing in Studios Pride took the spoils in Champion Hurdle Trial, Surrey? Rich not being able to play that day due to the 3 for Surrey Matters soon. ‘Contemporary 3 with another quagmire, as although if French Holly 2 offer on Bacardi Breezers the night before, and the memo- David Greenall of the Florida Pearl fell and Suny takes this route, he’ll be the rable taxi quote “ could you slow down please?” - even Racket Restringing - is London Contemporary Bay unseated his jockey. one to beat. though we were at the traffic lights. available at both Dance School, Mon, worst injury? Campusport sites with a 6.30-8pm in PATS. The weather has proved Morgan Grenfell Private Ripped ankle ligaments at a tournament in Guernsey/hang- three day turn around on problematic over recent Equity, a subsidiary of the over at Nottingham (scum - venue) rackets (emergencies are Interdepartmental Sport - weeks with meetings lost, Deutsche Bank, was suc- worst STD? considered). For more Starts Mon 8th February. and conditions favouring cessful in purchasing the Too many to list (Badminton’s wrist??? - Sports Ed) details and prices see our Entries by Fri 29th Jan. the out and out stayers Coral chain from Ladbrokes Do you have any sporting superstitions? web site Sports include 5-a-side, rather than the speed horses. for £390 million. But the None/Odd socks (www.surrey.ac.uk/Campus Mixed Korfball, Touch biggest news this week was I only wish Just So was still How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? port/racket.htm). Rugby, Ultimate Frisbee, the announcement by around! Although the Ascot It is our social life Mixed Badminton, Team Nomura International that meeting could not be saved Is sex better before or after sport? We wouldn’t know E mail friends, if you have Squash. See your sports reps William Hill is to be floated at the weekend, the Grade 2 Who is your sporting role model? any, who you think might to enter, entry forms at on the stockmarket in Victor Chandler Chase has Bryan Robson / Steve Redgrave benefit from these weekly sports centre reception. March. £50 million of shares been moved to Friday’s will be available to the pub- Which sports personality would you most like to meet? bulletins, please send their card. Lord Dorcet always lic, with the company valued Anna Kournikova / Alexander Popov addresses through - we are That’s it, see you at one of runs well in graded races, at around £900 million. Sum yourself up in 3 words? constantly increasing the our sites soon. Happy, bizarre bloke / Shy, slightly mad number of people we are John Perrin Wanted! Brett Arnell’s nominated question; Who at Surrey Uni APOLOGY! Teams to represent Surrey in the following sports: would you like to “Zone” it with and why? From Russia with love (for those in the know) / the girl from Stag GYMNASTICS n issue 952, Thursday interpreting Miss Johnson’s Hill 11 because, well, once seen, never forgotten BUSA Championship, 27th March 1999 10th December 1998, an handwriting in my defence. Now that you are a Star of the Pride, which question would you like Iarticle typed by the My sincerest regrets to TABLE TENNIS added to the profile list for next weeks Surrey Star, Catherine Sports Editor, insinuated those members of the Johnson, also known as CJ or Apology from the Netball Club? that Catherine Johnson, aka Netball Club who found this BUSA Championship, 20-21st February 1999 “Would you economise over Christmas by dumping your cur- CJ of the Netball Club, “got statement offensive, and rent boyfriend?” through roughly 4 random especially to the debaucher- SNOOKER Thankyou Rob and Rich for a fascinating insight into the all pow- BUSA Championship, 19-21 February 1999 erful wrist motivated world of shuttlecocks and net calls. You can men” in JR’s nightclub, ous young lady who actual- see this star pair ‘thrashing’ other University doubles partners every Hastings, whilst on a ly committed the offence, For details of these events, please contact Gemma in the Wednesday night in Bojanglez! You can also see them beating Netball tour. namely Little Miss Sloshed. Sports Office by 25th January 1999. Badminton pairings at the Campusport centre most Wednesdays. Good work girl! Many You can contact us through e-mail The blonde from Stag Hill 11; could you please pop in to the Bare I would like to issue an thanks to Kath and Jo again, ([email protected] or [email protected]) or by Facts office next Monday as USFC Club Committee would like to unreserved apology for this for organising the event! phone 01483-259981 or ext 9987, or by dropping a note see your profile ASAP. We are a Democracy!!! Miss Johnson, you incorrect statement and can into our pigeon hole in the Union, or best of all come in might feel welcome to join her for a 2pm tip - off next Monday only offer my difficulty in Cliffy afternoon! Little Miss Bossy, eh? and see us - We’re in the Union!! ed990121.qxd 22/01/99 10:14 Page 16 (1,1)

Surrey Pride Good Arrows! Paul Cliff, Sports Editor Ba Gua Zhang!!! You might well ask!! elcome back! Green, and a first class dou- are many different palm Harmonising the body and How you doin’? ble act of presenters with changes, with varying mind, strengthening the WGood Christmas? Ray Stubbs playing the levels of complexity and will, improving the co-ordi- New Year? It’s all I’ve Ricky, to Bobby George’s required flexibility. nation, gently strengthening bleedin’ heard all day. To be Frank Butcher, I found During a palm change, the the muscles, opening the honest I can hardly remem- myself glued to the TV for practitioner may swoop joints, cultivating Chi ber the festive season the duration of the event. down into a low stance (Chinese concept of vitality) (though not through alcohol and then rise up into tall and instilling a sense of well consumption) it seems so It’s perhaps the normality of proud postures or spin being are some of the aims long ago. But I’m sure it even the worlds top players round a full 360 degrees. of BA GUI practice. Many was very nice. that perhaps catches the Some have complex foot people have more confi- imagination most. There are and hand movements, dence as they begin to gain I love my football, and the no fancy loafers and hair gel others are quite simple at skill in self defence, not just holiday period has delivered types amongst this bunch. their core they all contain because they feel better able plenty of excitement as the You can imagine most of circular or spiral. Circle to deal with an attack, but race for the Premiership these fellas quaffing a skil- walking and using palm also because of the interac- title picked up pace and the ful down your local, changes to change direc- tion they have with other road to Wembley really adorned with a treasure tion is sometimes called people while practising in began with the FA Cup 3rd trove of sovereign rings and Pre-Heaven Ba Gua. the safe environment of the round. I even enjoyed most enough gold chains to class. Ba Gau is an non- of the cricket in a perverse S drown a baby orca. The The movements in Pre- competitive activity and so & M type way, but nothing screaming wives in the Heaven Ba Gua look attracts a wide variety of has set my sporting pulse audience, the oohs, the aahs, innocuous, but they actu- people, ranging from the fit racing over Xmas, quite like and above all the engaging ally contain the strikes, to the unfit, both old and the Darts World atmosphere created by the locks, throws and tripping young, men and women - Championship at the alcohol fuelled but trouble movements of a fierce everyone has something to Lakeside, Frimley Green. It free multi-national crowd fighting system. Ba Gua benefit from the practice. hard to describe the tension rank Darts as a phenomenon self defence uses the prin- and excitement, as the bal- in today’s wide World of ciples of not confronting Although Ba Gua is very ance of play switches con- Sport. is feet trace the cir- day, but its history remains a force with force. Evasive well known in China, it has stantly, as doubles are cumference of a cir- mystery before that time. It footwork and a clever use of not had the exposure it missed, nerves are tested With a multitude of Sport Hcle, carefully he is generally thought that Ba angles to defeat the oppo- deserves in this country. Its and a width of steel wire coming your way this places one foot in front of Gua Zhang was developed nent rather than brute force popularity is steadily separates ecstasy and semester, from BUSA play- the another, like a cat stalk- from Toaist walking medita- lie behind the methods for increasing, but unfortunate- anguish for the contestants. offs, Imperial Cancer ing it’s prey, his head and tion. The words ‘Ba Gua’ self defence. These fighting ly few teachers in the west The nature of the sport and Research Super Sports Day, torso erect and relaxed, his means Eight Trigrams and techniques are further devel- have the skill or experience the proximity of the crowd, mountain walking week- hands and awareness direct- refers to the eight trigrams oped in the other main part to properly demonstrate Ba bleeding an electric atmos- ends and ticket sales for the ed towards the centre of the of the I Ching (Book of of the practice; Post Heaven Gua. If you would like to phere which seems close Annual Colours Ball at circle. Smoothly he changes Changes), which have been Ba Gua. The movements in learn this highly absorbing enough to touch, make it Epsom Racecourse, there direction his arms entwining used by the Chinese for Post Heaven Ba Gua reveal art I can recommend my perhaps the prefect sport for are no reasons not to be about his body in pleasant thousands of years in con- more of the details of fight- teacher Aarvo Tucker. television coverage. With involved. It’s never too late. spiral motions before once nection with divination, ing, they are not practiced During his 15 years in superb commentary from more facing the centre, then Feng Shui and other things. while walking their circle, Taiwan and China studying ex-referee and scorer, Tony Get into Sport; Get into he begins to walk again The eight trigrams are laid but in short sequences the internal martial arts he retracing his steps along a out in a circular formation. which are performed repeat- became a senior student in Stingers Go Overboard As continuous orbit. edly on both left and right Luo De Xiu, an acknowl- Pirates Sink The main practice in Ba Gua sides. The training in Post edged master of the art. Ba Gua Zhang, also spelt Pa Zhang (often Ba Gua), is to Heaven Ba Gua includes a Aarvo is now living and Stingers 25 UEA Pirates 0 Kua Chang, is a complete walk in a circle. Circle great deal of different move- teaching locally. For infor- he Surrey Stingers went space for the fullbacks to run and extremely beautiful walking can be calming and ments and is a lively part of mation on Ba Gua or the into their last game - especially Jorn Johansen Chinese martial art. It’s ori- meditative, like the timeless the act. other internal arts of Tai Chi Tbefore Christmas look- (Yeti), Dave Skinner (LB), gins are lost in the mists of movement of the planets, it or Chi Gong you can talk to ing to regain momentum Pete Mattar (Homer) and time, but it was first seen in can also be lively and invig- The practice Ba Gua Zhang James at the Food and against the Pirates after last particularly Dave Wall Beijing in the 1860’s. A man orating, like a whirlwind. To has long been known by the Beverage Office at the week’s defeat at the hands of (Mauler), who made all four named Dung Hai Chuan change direction the walker Chinese as having a very Students Union or phone the UK champions, the Herts touchdowns possible. taught the martial art to the executes a palm change, a beneficial effect on the Aarvo and Mei Chi on Hurricanes. imperial bodyguards of the turning movement. There health of the practitioner. 01428 741044. And a final end of semester The first half was tough as thanks to the unsung heroes Stingers had trouble contain- of the Swarm, without ing the Pirates, but still man- whose hard work and com- Cardiff Squashed UniS 3 - 2 U.W.I.C aged to end the half 7-0 up. mitment we couldn’t have Report by Mustapha Rally After the break the Stingers created our superstars....our began to push the Pirates receivers: James Shepherd, back into their own half and Olly Tomlinson, Edouard niS Guildford made Wales by 3 games to 0 and that was very forgettable. the Pirates defence finally Sherwood (Mr. Ed) and a sound start of the built on a lead that had been Eric McAlpine, struggling crumbled in the last quarter, Luke Thomas (Yoda), our Useason, therefore established by John Russel under the handicap of a calf Finally, Lisa Stephens of conceding three touchdowns linebackers Dave Munro consolidated their top of the over Paul Allen of Cardiff. injury, was far too solid for Unis Guildford was in expe- in quick succession, round- (Statto), Mark Edwards table position with a 3 – 2 John Russel, who looked Steve Evans and wasted no rienced for Hannah Wright- ing off a fine 25-0 perfor- (Daffy), and Howard Gale, victory over U.W.I.C. – decidedly out of sorts from time in winning 3 games to Davies and was beaten 3 mance and clinching our and our defensive line; the Cardiff. The match was his Christmas break, after 0, despite the intervention of games to 1 in. fourth shutout victory in five outstanding rookie Kevin played in Cardiff, and there- taking a 2 games to 0 lead, a fire alarm and therefore a matches. Parker (Dorothy), Dan Jones fore was a particularly diffi- quite comfortably, then short delay in his match. Unis Guildford, by over com- (Princess) and Marcin cult fixture for the UniS – managed to lose the next ing UWIC Cardiff by 3 Phil Delaforce and Phil Beczek (Magic). Guildford team, who man- two games by the narrowest Adrian Grant of UniS games to 2, go into their next Macdonald celebrated their aged to win by the narrow- of one point margins in Guildford managed to lose his fixture, on Tuesday 26 last game before going on We look forward to seeing all est of margins. each, before finally coming 100% record by playing a very January at home at the placement in swashbuckling the team for the final games through 15 points to 13 in out of sorts match against the Varsity Centre against Lee- style, stealing the ball and after Christmas to secure our Playing at number one the final game. The two young Welsh prospect, Gavin on-Solent, with all to play for allowing the offence to place in the play-offs..... string, Stephen Meads the points at 13 points all were Jones. Adrian, who is recover- with the prospect of a place charge up the field. The fat- Jo Keech and Marcus captain, played a solid and decided by errors from Paul ing from Flu, was certainly not in the Play-offs becoming boys on the O-line deserve a Meyers professional match to over Allen. at full fitness and was able to ever more possible. big thankyou for making the First Lady and President come Gregg Tippings of play to his best form in a match