Living Cohabitation in the Republic of Korea: the Reported Experiences of Lesbians, Gays and Heterosexuals

View metadata, citation and similar papers at core.ac.uk brought to you by CORE provided by White Rose E-theses Online Living Cohabitation in the Republic of Korea: The Reported Experiences of Lesbians, Gays and Heterosexuals Hwajeong Yoo PhD University of York Women’s Studies February 2015 Abstract In contemporary western culture, cohabitation is not a major issue – it has become a normal practice in everyday life. This is not at all the case in Korea where the institution of marriage is still considered the pivotal relation that authorises ‘adult citizenship’ (Josephson 2005: 272). Non-marital cohabitation is therefore something of a taboo. At the same time, homosexuality, though neither legal nor illegal, is also taboo and hence same-sex couples’ cohabitation has hardly been discussed in Korean academe because first, it is expected to be hidden and, second, given that homosexuality is not generally accepted in Korean culture, the issue of same-sex couples’ cohabitation is constructed as outside of public interest. Hence, overall, little attention has been paid to the question of how Korean cohabiting couples live their cohabitation and what the similarities/differences in experience might be among same-sex and different-sex couples. This thesis centres on couples’ reported experiences of living cohabitation, that is the dailiness of their lives together and its meaning as they articulate it in terms of particular practices. I draw on interviews carried out between April and September 2012 with twelve heterosexuals, nine gays and fourteen lesbians, all of whom were cohabiting. In my research I focus on: 1) how and why couples come to consider cohabiting and decide to do so; 2) the extent to which couples disclose the nature of their cohabitation to others (i.e. mothers, fathers, siblings, friends, work colleagues and neighbours), which remains a big issue in Korea; 3) the ways in which cohabitation is discussed by my participants as emulating and/or rejecting traditional Korean family norms. I argue that cohabiting couples do cohabitation differently, in line with their sexual identity. 2 The List of Contents Abstract 2 The List of Figures 6 The List of Tables 7 Acknowledgements 8 Author’s Declaration 10 Chapter 1. Introduction Introduction 11 1-1. Motivations for this Research 13 1-2. The Korean Context 14 1-2-1. The Sexual Double Standard 17 1-2-2. Patriarchal Marriage and Family Structure 18 1-2-3. Marriage and Divorce 20 1-2-4. Cohabitation among Same-Sex Couples 23 1-3. Literature Review 24 1-3-1. The Invisibility of Cohabiting Couples in Korea 25 1-3-2. Korean Research on Cohabiting Couples 26 1-3-3. Western Debates on Individualisation and 35 Transformation of Intimacy 1-3-4. Individualisaiton and Transformation of Intimacy under 37 Compressed Modernity in Korea: Individualisation without Individualism 1-3-5. Cohabitation as Unfilial Behaviour 40 1-3-6. Gaps in Current Research 41 1-4. Thesis Structure 42 Chapter 2. Methodology Introduction 43 2-1. Research Design 44 2-1-1. Interviewing with a Feminist Perspective 44 2-1-2. Interviewing Couples Separately 50 3 2-2. The Recruitment of the Interviewees 51 2-2-1. Sample Composition 54 2-3. Doing the Actual Interviews 60 2-3-1. Interviewing Friends and Acquaintances 67 2-3-2. The Researcher’s Positionality: Insider and Outsider 69 2-3-3. Complex Positionality: ‘Insider with an Outsider Mask’ 72 and ‘Outsider with an Insider Mask’ 2-4. Post Interview Proccesses: Transcribing, Translating and 74 Analysing Data Conclusion 79 Chapter 3. Entering Cohabitation Introduction 81 3-1. Finding a Partner 82 3-1-1. Where People Meet Their Potential Partner 83 3-1-2. Planned Cohabitation or Not? 88 3-2. Who Cohabits and Why? 89 3-3. The Time Between Beginning Dating and Cohabiting 90 3-4. Motivations to Cohabit 94 3-5. Cohabitation Based on Commitment 97 3-6. Committed, but Flexible Relationships 99 Conclusion 100 Chapter 4. Disclosing Cohabitation Introduction 103 4-1. Disclosing Cohabitation to Others 105 4-1-1. Disclosure to Parents 105 4-1-2. Disclosure to Siblings 118 4-1-3. Disclosure to Friends 124 4-1-4. Disclosure to Work Colleagues 130 4-1-5. Disclosure to Neighbours 137 4-2. Analysis of the Disclosure Pattern by Sexual Identity 142 4-3. Analysis of the Disclosure Pattern by Gender 146 4 4-4. Analysis of the Disclosure Pattern by Sexual Identity and 149 Gender Conclusion 150 Chapter 5. Living Cohabitation Introduction 151 5-1. The Meaning of Home 151 5-1-1. Enjoying Everyday Activities Together 152 5-1-2. Enjoying a Social Life with Friends 155 5-2. Doing Family at Home 157 5-2-1. Gaining a Sense of Stability 157 5-2-2. Struggling with the Position of Daughter-/Son-in-Law 164 5-2-3. The Division of Housework and Finance 170 5-3. Having a Pet – Completing the Family 191 5-4. Friends as Relationship Supporters 196 Conclusion 201 Chapter 6. Concluding Remarks Introduction 203 6-1. Reflecting on Self 203 6-2. Key Debates 205 6-3. Contribution to Knowledge 207 6-4. Research Implications 220 6-5. Suggestions for Future Research 224 Conclusion 224 Appendices Appendix 1. Consent Form 226 Appendix 2. Interview Questions 227 Appendix 3. Information Letter to Participants 229 Appendix 4. Demographic Questionnaire 230 Appendix 5. Biography of Interviewees 231 Bibliography 240 5 The List of Figures Figure 1. Marriage Rate per 1,000 Population in Korea from 1990 to 20 2013 Figure 2. Mean Age at First Marriage in Korea from 1990 to 2013 21 Figure 3. Divorce Rate per 1,000 Population in Korea from 1990 to 22 2013 Figure 4. Partnered Respondents Who Cohabit by Age 26 Figure 5. Disclosure Pattern by Sexual Identity 14 3 Figure 6. Disclosure Pattern by Gender 14 6 Figure 7. Disclosure Pattern by Sexual Identity and Gender 14 9 Figure 8. The Division of Housework 1 7 1 6 The List of Tables Table 1. List of Interviewees 5 5 Table 2. Range of Participants’ Age 5 7 Table 3. Length of Cohabitation 5 8 Table 4. Numbers of Previous Cohabitation Experiences by Participant 5 9 Table 5. Participants by Education Level 5 9 Table 6. The Dating Period until Cohabitation 9 1 Table 7. Money Management Typology within a Couple 17 8 7 Acknowledgements First and foremost, I should thank the forty courageous and generous Korean cohabiters who took part in my research. Although it is never easy to talk about one’s private experiences to a stranger, they accepted my interview request and found the time to talk to me. They were also interested in my research and supported me in many ways. I hope I did justice to their precious stories. Secondly, I would like to thank my supervisor Gabriele Griffin. This research might not have even started and could not have finished without her support and encouragement. From wondering how to begin PhD to being anxious about how to finish this well, she significantly helped me. I truly and greatly appreciate what she has done for me. Thirdly, I should thank the Thesis Advisory Panel members, Stevi Jackson and Christine Skinner, for their critical feedback and encouragement. I would like to particularly thank Stevi for giving me suggestions to read and think about in relation to my research. I would like to thank Centre for Women’s Studies members, in particular, Harriet Badger for her practical and technical help; Ann Kaloski-Naylor for her kindness and interest in my work; Makiko Kazama, who was a visiting scholar from Japan, for her emotional support; my peers: my ‘roomy’ Patrycja Sosnowska-Buxton, Nicole Zarafonetis, Kai-Wen (Evangeline) Tsao, Tingfang Chin, Takako Nonaka, Bridget Lockyer, Abigail Tazzyman, Rachel Thwaites, Stephanie Smith, Manel Zouabi, Cait Rogan and many others for their knowledge and advice in the peer support group as well as privately. I am very lucky to have had you along the way. I particularly thank Patrycja and Nicole for proofreading my thesis and giving me helpful feedback. I also thank Tingfang for kindly lending me her laptop to replace my broken one. My friends and research colleagues helped me to keep on working without being lonely. I would also like to thank Korean Womenlink, Chingusai and Doinginryun members for their help with finding interviewees and for thoughtful advice. I also thank my 8 Korean friends for taking care of me by sending parcels including many Korean foods and snacks and by talking and listening to me. I really appreciate the time and money you spent for me. I should also acknowledge crucial financial support I received from Funds for Women Graduates (FfWG) in my third year. Without the funds, my work could not have been continued. I truly appreciate their support. Last, but not least, I would like to thank Hana Choi-Kim, whose love, endurance and support made my studies possible and for giving me comments and suggestions by carefully proofreading my thesis. And I also thank my sister Hyunjeong Yoo and mom Shinjul Kim for listening to my worries and standing by my side always. 9 Author’s Declaration I certify that all the research and writing presented in this thesis are original and my own. Over the course of PhD I have used parts of my research in papers given at academic conferences. A version of Chapter 5, ‘Living Cohabitation’, has been used at the ‘Gender, Equality and Intimacy: (Un)comfortable Bedfellows?’ conference at the Institute of Education in London, under the title ‘Living Cohabitation in Contemporary Korea: Experiences of Lesbian, Gay and Heterosexual Couples’, 7 April 2014.

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