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THE CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY of AMERICA a Communication THE CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY OF AMERICA A Communication Enrichment Retreat for Catholic Korean-American Couples Employing the Trinitarian Mode of Communication A DISSERTATION Submitted to the Faculty of the School of Theology and Religious Studies Of The Catholic University of America In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements For the Degree Doctor of Ministry © Copyright All Rights Reserved By Duyoung Jung Washington, D.C. 2009 A Communication Enrichment Retreat for Catholic Korean-American Couples Employing the Trinitarian Mode of Communication Duyoung Jung, D. Min. Director: Charles Gravenstine, D. Min. Good communication, as the ability to exchange precise meanings, leads couples to a deeper mutual understanding and works as a key to enhancing marital intimacy and satisfaction. Communication has been a fundamental issue, particularly for first generation Korean-American couples who have been challenged by the pressure of adapting to the new cultural situation of living in the United States. While still constrained by a strong tendency to maintain Confucian paradigm of marital communication and thereby avoid dialogue, these couples have felt the growing need both for effective communication that deals with tensions and conflicts among themselves and for real dialogue that results in a healthier marriage. The Trinitarian mode of marital communication, which is derived from the marriage analogy of the Trinity, could serve as a Catholic ideal of marital communication. As characterized by the triple interaction of silence, listening, and dialogue in conformity with God’s Trinitarian communion of love among God, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, it will help Catholic Korean-American couples share their life and love together “in the Lord” at a deeper level and enhance mutual understanding and intimacy in the Second Vatican Council’s vision of marriage as “the intimate community of life and love.” A Trinitarian Couple Communication that employs “reflection, validation, and empathy” and involves the perspective of silence, of listening, and of dialogue may function as a workable model for daily use to help couples reduce misunderstanding and unnecessary conflicts among themselves and gain more satisfaction and intimacy in marital relationships. This Project in Ministry was carried out in two parts. Accordingly, Part One laid the theoretical foundation for the Project by researches in Catholic Theology of Marriage, Marriage in Traditional Korean Confucianism, Korean-American Marriage in the Challenge of Cultural Transition, and a Catholic Ideal of marital Communication. Upon this foundation, Part Two designed, implemented, and evaluated through surveys the actual retreat program. This Project in Ministry may serve as an effective and workable educational model to enrich marital communication, particularly for Catholic Korean- American couples who have alienated themselves from the existing marriage programs because of the language and cultural barrier. This Project by Duyoung Jung fulfills the dissertation requirement for the doctoral degree in Doctor of Ministry approved by Charles G. Gravenstine, D. Min., as Director, and by Charles Jones, Ph. D., and Lucinda A. Nolan, Ph. D as Readers. _________________________________________ Charles G. Gravenstine, D. Min., Director _________________________________________ Charles Jones, Ph. D., Reader _________________________________________ Lucinda A. Nolan, Ph. D., Reader ii TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION·················································································································1 PART ONE RESEARCH ON THEORETICAL FOUNDATION OF THE PROJECT ..............3 CHAPTER I: CATHOLIC THEOLOGY OF MARRIAGE···················································4 Love and Marriage as a Community-Oriented Human Realities····························5 Marriage as a Covenant of Love and Life····························································17 The Sacramentality of Marriage ··········································································23 The Indissolubility of Marriage ···········································································38 Concluding Implications for the Project in Ministry············································48 CHAPTER II: MARRIAGE IN TRADITIONAL KOREAN CONFUCIANISM ···············51 Confucian Transformation of Korea ····································································51 Confucian Ideal of Life and Values······································································61 Women in Confucian Ideology ············································································65 Confucian Ideal of Married Life··········································································73 Concluding Implications for the Project in Ministry············································79 CHAPTER III: KOREAN-AMERICAN MARRIAGE: THE CHALLENGE OF CULTURAL TRANSITION······································································81 Third Wave of Korean Immigrants to the United States·······································82 Typical Mode of Acculturation to American Society ···········································85 Cultural Characteristics and Value System ··························································90 Power Shifts in Gender Roles and Marital Conflicts ···········································93 Paradigm of Marital Communication ································································ 100 Concluding Implications for the Project in Ministry·········································· 102 iii CHAPTER IV: A CATHOLIC IDEAL OF COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE AS A COMMUNITY OF LIFE AND LOVE ···················································· 105 Communication as the Key to Marital Intimacy ················································ 105 A Marriage Analogy of the Trinity····································································· 112 A Trinitarian Mode of Marital Communication ················································· 118 Concluding Implications for the Project in Ministry·········································· 137 CONCLUSION················································································································· 139 PART TWO DESIGN, IMPLEMENTATION, AND EVALUATION OF THE PROJECT.........141 CHAPTER V: DESIGN OF THE WEEKEND RETREAT ··············································· 142 The Form of the Weekend Retreat ····································································· 142 The Groups of Participating Couples································································· 144 The Venues of the Weekend Retreat ·································································· 147 The Construction of the Weekend Retreat ························································· 150 CHAPTER VI: IMPLEMENTATION··············································································· 153 Session One·······································································································153 Session Two······································································································· 155 Session Three ···································································································· 157 Session Four ······································································································ 159 CHAPTER VII: EVALUATION ······················································································· 165 Developmental Survey ······················································································ 165 Surveys of the Candidate and the Retreat Program; Suggestions······················· 167 iv GENERAL CONCLUSION······························································································ 173 APPENDICES .....................................................................................................................175 Appendix 1. The Weekend Retreat Program··················································· 175 Appendix 2. Couple Registration Form ·························································· 177 Appendix 3. The Letter of the Heart ······························································· 178 Appendix 4. A Manual for a Trinitarian Couple Communication ··················· 179 Appendix 5. Developmental Survey ······························································· 180 Appendix 6. Surveys of the Candidate and the Retreat Program; Suggestions182 Appendix 7. Participants’ Developmental Survey Scale ································· 184 Appendix 8. Evaluation Scales of the Candidate and the Retreat Program ····· 188 BIBLIOGRAPHY................................................................................................................190 v INTRODUCTION This Project in Ministry is a product of efforts to seek a marriage educational program for first generation Korean-American couples who hunger for intimate relations between themselves. The Project candidate’s pastoral studies for several years at the Catholic University of America and pastoral experiences at St. Andrew Kim parish helped identify the great necessity of such a program and consequently led to the birth of this Project in Ministry. As first generation Catholic Korean-American couples, unlike second generation Korean-American couples, still have a tendency to maintain the traditional Confucian male and female roles in their married lives, their marriages are
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