AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS CAPE AREA ECHO ISSUE NO. 12–2020

IMPORTANT Due to Covid-19 and the national lockdown, many of our Al-Anon groups are meeting electronically instead of face-to-face. *** LATEST NEWS: NEWCOMERS MEETING Wednesdays 5pm to 6pm via Zoom*** A BRAND‐NEW GROUP ‐ for newcomers, newer Al‐Anon members or those struggling with active . WhatsApp message: 082 895 6815 For information regarding online meetings please contact one of the numbers below or refer to the 'List of Meetings' at http://www.alanon.org.za/meetings/. CAPE AREA: WhatsApp message: 072 258 0986 / Tel: +27 21 595 4517 / Email: [email protected]

The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest.

VISITING Anon. It was an inexplicable The picnic at Stepping Stones My first visit to Stepping feeling. was true to an important principle Stones was on Tuesday, 29th My second visit, on Tuesday, in Al-Anon called Change! So many December 2015. As I set foot on 3rd July 2018, was a complete things have to be done differently! the snow-covered grounds, my contrast to the first. It was a bright Our has given us a heart filled my throat, and I felt the sunny day! Stepping Stones was disease, another one, that has tears rolling down my cheeks. I dressed in all the Summer colours! caused us to stretch ourselves in was in sheer wonder. “I am here!” And we were NINE excited Al- terms of knowledge and skills, it These were my words to a dear Anoners! We shared our emotions was quite a thing to get to that member that had guided me from with each and again I experienced picnic, but more than that – we Central Station all the way to that feeling of wanting to burst. have come together. Bedford Hills. That was such an By Margie D, Maitland Group enormous moment for me, because I had braved the journey on my own.

“Overtime this environment nurtures Photo taken by Gillian G our self-confidence and builds our social skills. We come to understand that we can share our inner most feelings at Al-Anon meetings without having to worry about criticism or having to respond to unsolicited advice.” Discovering Choices B-30)

Once again, the guided tour was like walking with Bill and Lois, from the years of struggle with the disease, up to the time of sobriety, and how, up to the end of their lives, their time was devoted to serving the still suffering. My third visit was with about 69TH ANNUAL STEPPING STONES 1 800 others! A virtual picnic! How LOIS FAMILY GROUPS PICNIC It felt as if I was on holy amazing was it to meet people ONLINE ground. I was at the home of the who have known Bill and Lois! I On Saturday, 6th June 2020, founder of a program that was moved by their shares that Lois Family Groups held an online changed my life, and the lives of spoke of honesty and tenacity. “picnic” at Stepping Stones. thousands. I silently tried to take And I pray for the day that we too Members from around the world in everything during the guided will have Alateens like that attended, with many of our South tour. I felt the presence of dynamic young speaker. African members joining. We everything that I have learnt in Al- Help and hope for families and friends of alcoholics ISSUE NO. 12–2020 CAPE AREA ECHO

asked them to share their machine/pot, and the mention of suffering that is happening all experience: visitors, sometimes close to 40 around me.

~ “The Alateen Speaker reminded people at a time, and they would Will less people die because of me that alcoholism is A FAMILY all have coffee. Exactly how it is in this unending lockdown? Will we DISEASE and that FAMILY my home today... I had this broad really care more for each other RECOVERY is so important.” By smile on my dial. All this only by when this is over? Will the world Uthica A, KZN Area the Grace of God, the legacy of be a more equal place? That silver Lois and Anne for designing a new lining seems very far away when ~ “I must say the speaker whose way of living for us Al-Anon one is sitting in the middle of the son started drinking at the age of members – current and those to storm. I hope that, one day, we 12 was really a big one for me. I'm come. will all be able to look back and see not sure how she did it at that I thoroughly enjoyed listening something positive that has come tender age, but it sounds like there to the speakers. The Alateen out of this time. was a lot of letting go. She did say speaker was just too special. I have found some comfort in that it was important for her to I enjoyed the virtual picnic and reading this book again. It gives allow him his journey and the can only imagine how ‘the real me hope that no matter what consolation was his sobriety at deal’ must be. Thank you and stay happens I will survive. This too age 36. And then of course the safe.” By Debbie, Lansdowne, shall pass. I and we will get Alateen, "I realized my Mother Cape Area through this awful time; we will was becoming very Controlling." HOW TO KILL A CATERPILLAR? get to meet again, hug again and By Desiree B, Courage to Change, rejoice together. Cape Area I just hope a grateful, beautiful butterfly will visit my garden, because I will not be able to kill the caterpillars and they will eat my entire plant!

Elfie has a dilemma. His favourite plant is being eaten by

~ “Well well well. I registered for an army of beautiful caterpillars. th the 69 Annual Stepping Stones This means they could become picnic on the very morning of the beautiful butterflies and how do “In fact, many of us have been event. you kill the potential of beautiful able to find hope in the midst of I wasn't at all disappointed. I butterflies. despair and serenity in the face of experienced a virtual tour of the I have always hated the sayings grief.” Opening Our Hearts – beautiful garden, and the that “every cloud has a silver Transforming Our Losses B-27, Pg. 8 beautiful home where Bill and Lois lining” and “good things come By Glenda W, Constantia Group lived. They spoke about the letters from bad”. While this can Bill wrote to Lois on their sometimes be true, the timing of Anniversary. How heart-warming. their utterance is so often really I'm not sure whether you bad! Right now, I am more know, but I love the story of concerned about my plant being where this all began. What eaten than about potential resonated with me, as they took beautiful butterflies. me around to the different areas How does one see the “silver of the home, was the kitchen. lining” when one is in the middle They showed all the beautiful cups of a crisis? I am really struggling to and of course the huge coffee see what good can come from the We’re all in this together! Even if we can’t hold hands right now ISSUE NO. 12–2020 CAPE AREA ECHO

to be allowed into the meeting. On not mine, no matter what others may my cell phone the messages were think or say about it.” One Day at a Time in Al-Anon B-06, Pg.29 coming through “I can’t get in”, “who is in” and then the faces started to appear on my screen, and there was so much excitement because we hadn’t seen each other in weeks. Some continued to battle THE EXCITEMENT OF THE ZOOM with connectivity, others with weak MEETINGS signal, and others were simply A whole new world opened up happy to be in. So, we settled down, to us when lockdown was and the meeting began and ended announced. I never knew anything successfully. about Zoom, we normally use Skype The experience left us all to connect and communicate at amazed and surprised by what we CAPE AREA OFFICE AND work. had just achieved – a virtual meeting LITERATURE PURCHASES Then comes the lockdown so in our own homes, connecting with Kindly note the Cape Area Office is suddenly and I thought that being at our friends and then the messages open and fully operational. home for a month didn’t sound too on the group chat started “it was so Literature may be ordered bad. I didn’t quite know the extent good to see you all”; “it was such a telephonically or by email from the of this Covid-19 pandemic at the good meeting”. The excitement was Office Administrator. You may collect your order from the office, or it can be time. electrifying among the five mailed to you via a courier service I immediately started compiling members. a to do list for the month because I (door-to-door or counter-to-counter I was left with a headache via Pep Stores or the Post Office). was going to be on my own, and before each meeting for the first that went well. Then someone from Kindly note the courier cost and couple of weeks as I have limited packaging will be at your own Al-Anon or the GSC decided to data, “will I be able to start the expense. purchase a subscription to Zoom meeting”, “will I remain connected Payment can be done via EFT or and the link was sent around to while the meeting is in progress”. Snapscan. Proof of payment must be interested persons, who were asked This was too much for me to handle sent to the office before your order is to be a host for their group and to and I decided to ask my group for a posted or collected. You are welcome download the app. A workshop volunteer to take over as the host, to pay in cash when collecting your would be held in a few days’ time. I and the willingness was amazing. literature. To minimise the handling of carefully downloaded the app and We have a new host so now I only cash the exact amount would be bang I don’t know what I did but I need to login and wait to be appreciated. A price list is available was connected to the workshop admitted into the meeting. upon request. which was conducted by Deborah Things beyond my wildest Kindly note Covid-19 regulations from the Courage to Change group dream are coming true. I am apply when visiting the office. We and Natalie our Policy and Planning learning new things and it is so appreciate your support and cooperation in adhering to Coordinator. They explained how it empowering to achieve new skills, government regulations during these worked and showed us how to start to grow, not to be judged, to be trying times. a meeting and gave us the relevant allowed to fail and try again. I login details to start the meeting Take Care, Stay Safe, Stay Healthy. belong to an amazing fellowship. By Gail S, Office Administrator and for the members who wanted By Janice, Belville Group to join the meeting. ~~~~oOo~~~~ Quickly and excitedly I sent an REGIONAL SERVICE SEMINAR announcement on the Belville 2020 (RSS) WhatsApp chat group asking who Due to safety concerns for all our would like to join the Zoom members and the unpredictability of meetings. The excitement was how long the roll out of the phased opening up of the lockdown will take, palatable, and we started a separate especially with regard to those who group called the Bellville Zoom are above 60 and who are vulnerable Group with five members. “How can I best help the alcoholic? By not interfering when he gets into due to health issues, it has been The following Wednesday I tried difficulties. I must detach myself from decided that it would be best not to logging in with great anticipation his shortcomings, neither making up go through with our plans for RSS at and careful consideration to get all for them nor criticizing them. Let me Mizpah in Grabouw this year. the details correct. Now the other learn to play my own role and leave members were waiting to login and his to him. If he fails in it, the failure is We’re all in this together! Even if we can’t hold hands right now ISSUE NO. 12–2020 CAPE AREA ECHO

We would like to hold a virtual RSS Since the 1980’s, as more adult [email protected] or WhatsApp to over that weekend, at a much- children of alcoholics attended Al- 082 342 2102. reduced rate, via ZOOM. We will keep Anon, they began writing and sharing GRATITUDE AND THE SEVENTH you posted on that one. their stories, helping to make our TRADITION ~ Every group ought to We will keep the space in Grabouw Conference Approved Literature be fully self-supporting, declining for next year instead. (CAL) more reflective of our outside contributions. We will be sending details shortly. membership. Look at the following “To think of Tradition Seven as a Please keep an eye out on your books and pamphlets that deal protection for my spiritual growth is WhatsApp groups and in the Echo for specifically with adult children issues. humbling and freeing. …I now know further details. • Did You Grow Up with a Problem that not only do I get to give my money Yours in service Drinker? (S-25) and service, but I also get to receive By Natalie ~ Policy and Planning Co- • Al-Anon Family Groups Welcome miracles in abundance.” Paths to ordinator (Cape) Adult Children of Alcoholics (S-69) Recovery B-24ZA, Pg.198-99 • AVAILABLE RESOURCES Al-Anon Sharings from Adult Please continue paying your group Children (P-47) contributions. There are many Zoom *CONFERENCE APPROVED • From Survival to Recovery: meetings throughout the Cape Area LITERATURE (CAL) AVAILABLE Growing up in an Alcoholic Home as well as the KZN and G&D Areas (B-21) which are open to anyone affected by • Hope for Today (B-27) the problem of someone else’s Source: Reprinted with permission of The drinking. The meeting details are Locally Printed Forum, Al-Anon Family Group available on the website Headquarters., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA, 24 Paths to http://www.alanon.org.za/meetings/. March 2020 Payments of group contributions Recovery— Please contact the Literature may be done via EFT into the Cape Al-Anon’s Coordinator or the Office Administrator Area account, using a reference Steps, for CAL prices as well as courier options indicating group contributions or via and pricing. One option available is SnapScan. Traditions, PAXI courier service at Pep Stores. A Banking details : and Concepts package that takes up to eight books costs R50. It takes 5 to 7 days to deliver, Bank: ABSA B-24ZA counter-to-counter. Account Name: Al-Anon Family Group Cape Area Special Price: *AL‐ANON FAMILY GROUPS SA Account No: 407 321 5579 R240 All details for local electronic Branch No: 632005 Thorough study guide for our meetings can be viewed at Type: Cheque programme’s three legacies: the http://www.alanon.org.za/meetings/ Ref: GC, Group Name, Member’s Twelve Steps, the Twelve Traditions Name (if necessary). and the Twelve Concepts of Service. *AL‐ANON WITHOUT BORDERS – SnapScan: In-depth chapters on each Step, MEETINGS/WORKSHOPS/OTHER Tradition, and Concept of Service Meetings and Workshops: provide insight, and Includes thought- Listen to shares from members provoking questions for group or around the world on varied topics individual study. Indexed. 366 pages. relating to recovery at the following (Soft cover, local print). link: http://msbrecording.com/al-anon- Alateen– zoom-meetings/ Hope for Children of Alcoholics B-3ZA

Special Price: MAKE THE ECHO YOUR OWN R108 We at Al-Anon are looking at continuing to publish the Echo on a Basic introductory book for teens regular basis. affected by someone else’s drinking. Please continue to share your Easy to understand explanation of experience, strength, and hope. We alcoholism and the Alateen program. are looking forward to hearing from

READ ALL ABOUT GROWING UP you. Send your articles marked “Echo” to WITH ALCOHOLISM [email protected] or

We’re all in this together! Even if we can’t hold hands right now