Al-Anon's C O F O U N D E

I knew.” He spent long afternoons telling her about Al-Anon fellowship which Lois served until the end his visions and dreams. Eventually, they fell in love of her days. Lois often said, and became secretly engaged. Al-Anon’s Lois W. “It takes only one person to start something, March 4, 1891 - October 5, 1988 They planned to marry after Bill graduated from the military college he was attending, but his stud- but many others to carry it out.” Lois seemed to have been born ies were interrupted by the approach of World War with the ability to lead. Her fam- I. Even in the midst of wartime uncertainties, Lois ily background, innate talents and remembered their courtship as a time of great prom- Throughout their lives, Anne and Lois remained C abilities, capacity and interest in ise for them both. close personal friends. They saw each other for the learning, and her devotion to Bill last time in 1983. In their eighties and nineties, all seemed to prepare her for the Although Bill’s drinking began before they were respectively, they reminisced about the early years. role she assumed later in life. married, it was not apparent to Lois that he had a While many of the details escaped them both, the O Lois was born into a loving problem with alcohol. To her, his drinking was the friendship that underlay their extraordinary work family, the eldest of six children. result of too much socializing and she felt sure she was as real as ever. These two women, who always Her father was a surgeon in Brooklyn; her mother, could return him to his former abstinence after their thought of themselves as ordinary people, worked a homemaker. She said her parents truly loved one wedding. They married in 1918 before Bill was sent F together in quiet, practical ways to accomplish their another and taught their children to show affection, to Europe. extraordinary contribution to tens of thousands of how to make peace with one another, and how to When Bill returned, Lois took time off from her families and friends of alcoholics. Al-Anon was admit mistakes without feeling ashamed. She felt work to go on a well-documented year-long motor- built on their common sense, capacity for caring, particularly close to her mother and wanted to O cycle trip with him. Later she completed a course and willingness to help others. Their work has since follow her example. “Absolutely without self-con- at the New York School of Interior Decorating and been shared by many who continue to volunteer sciousness and totally selfless, Mother loved people Anne B. held several more volunteer positions, including work their hearts and hands in the service of Al-Anon. and people loved her,” Lois wrote in her autobiogra- with the Adult Education Committee at the YWCA. U phy, Lois Remembers. Although Bill was a talented stock analyst, his For more about our cofounders and Growing up, Lois’s family spent almost half the drinking made it difficult to hold down a job. Lois’s Al-Anon’s history read: year in Manchester, Vermont with children's nurses, salary became necessary to maintain the household. Al-Anon Books private tutors, and household servants. During the Problems at home were mounting and Lois poured Lois Remembers (B-7) N summers, they stayed at a bungalow near Emerald out her anguish in a journal: “God help me to help How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Lake they called “the Camp” and the family would him, my husband, my boy, who is more than life to Alcoholics (B-22) go bike riding, boating, antique collecting, and me. God give me wisdom and strength and patience, The Al-Anon Family Groups—Classic Edition (B-5) picnicking. for I love him, I love him, I love him.” Thus began Many Voices, One Journey (B-31) D Lois was formally educated at private schools many years of alternately mothering Bill and devel- All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or in Brooklyn and graduated from Packer Collegiate oping interests of her own. introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the Institute in 1912. After graduation, Lois studied Bill's battle with alcoholism led to several hos- prior written permission of the publisher. E drawing at a New York art school and later became pitalizations before he found sobriety in A.A. Lois Al-Anon/Alateen is supported by members’ voluntary contributions and a receptionist at a Brooklyn YWCA. She was pro- was by his side through it all. When they moved from the sale of our Conference Approved Literature. moted to personal assistant and then girls-work into their first home of their own, Stepping Stones secretary before moving to Short Hills, New Jersey, in Bedford Hills, New York, in 1941, Lois’ thoughts For information and catalog of literature write to R World Service Office for Al-Anon and Alateen: to teach at a progressive private school. were of decorating her home and working in her garden. But that was not to be. Ten years later the Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Lois W. It was Lois’s brother Rogers who introduced Lois 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway and Bill. At first she thought of Bill as nothing more Al-Anon fellowship began in the upstairs room of Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617 S than one of her brothers because he was four years Stepping Stones. Phone: (757) 563-1600 Fax: (757) 563-1656 her junior. The following summer, they were thrown Lois’s life with Bill is well-documented in Lois al-anon.org/members together as part of a group of young people picnick- Remembers. This book is not only the love story of a [email protected] ing, hiking, and driving around the countryside. devotion to Bill that remained steadfast throughout The extraordinary work of two AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS® Lois admitted this time she found Bill “the most their life together and continued after Bill’s death in hope for families & friends of alcoholics interesting, the most knowledgeable, the finest man 1971, it also describes a life-long love story with the ordinary women P-87 Printed in U.S.A 6 7 The story of our cofounders is the story of the share. Though their own efforts to help their hus- her mother, who worked as a seamstress. she came to start the first Family Group in the principles of Al-Anon in action. Before Al-Anon ever bands attain sobriety had failed, their spouses had In one of a series of childhood illnesses, Anne New York metropolitan area. “I attended an A.A. started, there were isolated families of alcoholics who found success with the aid of others. contracted St. Vitus’ Dance, a nervous disorder; she meeting in New York and heard an A.A. girl give formed separate groups, searching for a way to recover When Anne or Lois became discouraged because their was eight years old. As a result, the family moved her first talk. After the meeting she said to me, ‘I from the disease of alcoholism. Just as those early to Chappaqua, New York, the “country” as it was wish there were groups for non-alcoholics, because members who sought recovery learned first-hand the efforts went unnoticed, they looked to each other for my husband doesn’t understand why I have to go affirmation and support. known then, where she was educated in a one-room lesson that our program is a “we”" program, it took schoolhouse. Her only sister died of heart disease to meetings...”’Anne was so moved, she couldn't They also drew strength from the letters they these two women to unite our early Family Groups four years later when Anne was 12 years old. sleep that night. The first meeting was soon held and isolated individuals into a cohesive and unified received in which family members wrote of despair in Anne’s home in Chappaqua and attended by 15 fellowship. followed by hope and recovery. Anne met Devoe in Sunday School when he women. Anne had chosen the same night as the offered to drive her home; she was 17 years old In 1951 Anne and Lois began working to unite A.A. meeting held in the local firehouse. The men Lois and Anne also illustrated that members with and he was 19. At the time, Devoe owned his own decided to end their meeting early and troop over extremely different talents and exceptionally dis- the Family Groups into the Al-Anon fellowship. garage where he sold and serviced high-priced for- Anne performed the business functions and Lois to the Family Group to sit in and listen. True to her similar backgrounds can recover from the disease of eign cars. They married two years later after Anne character, Anne interrupted their plan by closing alcoholism; that each of us can make meaningful, was the organizer. “Lois had the ideas and I wrote finished a course at a local business college. Within them down,” Anne said. Lois signed letters as the meeting early. Laughingly, she said later that enduring and powerful contributions to families and a year, their daughter Madelyn was born; a second the men thought they were being talked about. That friends of alcoholics ...whether the alcoholic is still “Acting Chairman,” Anne signed them “Secretary.” daughter, Charlotte, arrived seven years later. drinking or not. When Lois wrote our first pamphlet, Purposes and was not so.

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