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Mothering Sunday

Rev Margaret Whyte, retired from Pollokshaws , Glasgow. Locum at Bourock Parish Church, Barrhead, offers her thoughts on Mothering Sunday.

Contents:

Joshua 5: 9-12 ...... 2 Psalm 32 ...... 2 2 Corinthians 5: 16-21 ...... 3 Luke 15: 11-32...... 3 The Prodigal Son or is it the Waiting Mother? ...... 5 Origins of Mother’s Day ...... 10 Another Illustration ...... 11 Another Idea for sermon ...... 12 Prayers ...... 13 Internet Illustrations ...... 17 Things My Mother Taught Me ...... 18 Mothers Maintenance Manual ...... 20 Hymns ...... 22 Additional Resources ...... 23

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Joshua 5: 9-12 The Israelites ate manna throughout their wanderings in the wilderness for 40 years. Though a gift from God they must have been delighted to be eating new food after their boring diet for all these years. How quickly though we come to take for granted the gifts God has given us, rather than rejoicing in how blessed we are.

The manna however may have been only a symbol of God’s generosity and care, for I read somewhere that manna is still available in the desert, but it is excreted on a Tamarisk plant by an insect and though rich in carbohydrate, it takes all day to gather enough for dinner and is only available for part of the year. Whether symbolic or not when they reached Canaan, in faith, the Israelites celebrated God’s provision for them by eating local produce, and his saving grace remembered in their annual Festival of Passover.

Psalm 32 “Happy are those whose sins are forgiven.” “I must have been really bad for God to do this to me,” has I am sure been said to every minister. As in the Psalmist’s time there is still the belief in some, that sickness is caused by sin; and in many that confession is good for the soul. We all feel better when we get something off our chest! At the heart of our faith is that everyone must approach God in penitence for all our wrongs large and small and trust absolutely in God’s forgiveness. There is nothing we can hide from God who sees right into our hearts. The link to the loving father of the prodigal is clear.

There is an old story, I have forgotten the reference and exactly how it goes. There was a woman who went to her minister to say that God was speaking to her and what should she do. The minister was sceptical and said to her “If God speaks to as you say, ask God what it was I did rather foolishly some years ago.”

A few days later the minister said to the woman rather facetiously, “Well did God tell you my dark secret.” The woman replied, “No, God said to tell you he has forgotten, why do you not?”

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What I find touching is that the Psalmist uses his illness as an opportunity to draw near to God through his prayers of confession and the trust that God will save and protect him.

Like many from the wisdom tradition the contrast between the wicked and the righteous is expressed in the final two verses. This is still a problem that baffles us today, why is it that the wicked flourish while the righteous flounder. Yet we never doubt in God’s steadfast love.

2 Corinthians 5: 16-21 “When anyone is joined to Christ he is a new being; the old is gone, the new has come.” This is the heart of the , our salvation through Christ, our reconciliation with God through the death of Christ. No one experienced that more than Paul. “God did not keep a record of the sins of mankind.” Like the Psalmist Paul has utter faith in the forgiveness of God, as this obviously has been true in his own spiritual experience. As one who so zealously persecuted Christians, he is now overwhelmed that the past is wiped out; and one who was an enemy of God is now reconciled and cherished as God’s beloved friend. By the gracious gift of God in Christ, he - and we - now possess the right relationship God desires to have with us. We are made new or as John would have it “born again”.

Paul like the prodigal was in a far country but has now come home to God through Christ.

Luke 15: 11-32 In recounting the parable of the long lost son welcomed home by his forgiving father Jesus tells the whole gospel of God's reconciling love. The story is usually called "The Prodigal Son." However the three characters, the father or his two sons can have centre stage. Above all though the love and forgiveness of the father shines out.

Some interpreters claim that there is an autobiographical slant here. That Jesus left home and only returned after a few years, was welcomed warmly by Mary, but not by his brothers. In mentioning this it does not add much to a parable that conveys this great good news – the lost son is welcomed, forgiven and restored by the father’s gracious love. God, more than anything, desires to reconcile the world to himself. As in all good stories we are left with a cliff hanger.

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The elder brother is left to decide for himself whether to join the party or not. I always find it humbling to consider which character I am in the story and to give thanks for God’s forgiving, reconciling love.

In some ways the father is the profligate in giving away so much of his wealth and in his unconditional love for his two sons. Would I be so forgiving time and again; would I humiliate myself like the younger son, or die obstinately; would I put pride aside like the elder brother and join the party? Probably not!

Yet this is how God’s grace and mercy works!

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The Prodigal Son or is it the Waiting Mother?

My own Church was very much an Urban Priority area in Glasgow and there will be pockets like that I am sure in your Parish too.

I particularly loved attending the Urban Priority Consultations which were held annually at Carberry. During one of the acts of worship I was sitting between two elderly men I had met. They were sharing the same room and it turned out they had met in a previous life as Santa Clauses in a Shopping Mall in Glasgow.

We were asked to say in little groups what our favourite reading was and in between Christmas jokes they decided independently that their favourite reading was the Prodigal Son. Listening in to those around me most people were saying the same thing that the story of the Prodigal Son meant most to them.

Why? I wonder; is it because most of us can identify so clearly with this parable of the lost son. But here is a question for you. Who are you in this story, the lost son, the father, or the elder brother?

Many people identify with the youngest son – the prodigal – the one who had the cheek to ask for his inheritance before the old man has popped his clogs and then wastes it all in riotous living in a foreign land. Who goes from bad to worse until at last he comes to his senses and flees homeward, hoping against hope to put his life back together again, even if it must be as a servant – for in his father’s house he knows that even servants live better than he is living at that moment.

We identify clearly because many of us are that prodigal son or daughter. We see ourselves as people who have come to our senses, as people who while we wandered away from home, away from God in our youth have now got it together. We are back; yes we still make mistakes, but we are back within God’s loving embrace; so aware of God’s love for us and thankful for it, that though we may have wandered away from him, God has never abandoned us, but walked each step of the way with us.

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Others identify so strongly with the Father in the Story – especially those who happen to be parents of children who have gone, or are going, wrong. Or even if we have not we can all feel acutely the pain of the father, because as a parent you know what that might be like; as a son or a daughter you know the pain you might have caused your long suffering parent.

Why did the father give in to the demands of his beloved child? Why do we give in to the demands of our children; maybe the long awaited second child, the cherished spoiled baby of the family? Perhaps he feared his son would only get into deeper trouble if he denied him; because he didn’t know what else to do, because he was an indulgent father, because he realised his children have to make their own mistakes.

Whatever the reason we feel his pain, we feel his constant worrying, constant wondering. And so we understand totally his reaction at seeing his son returning home, as he runs down the road to meet him. That is a wonderful picture, isn’t it? There are those who identify so strongly with the father because they pray daily that such a scene will be replayed in their own lives.

But I wonder that most of us don’t identify more with the big brother. Let’s take a poll. How many ……….

I’m the big sister in my family so I do. My wee brother was in the army for 22 years. My sister and I were always there for our parents. They never got so much as a phone call or a postcard from him and every time he came home, there they were throwing their arms around him, greeting him like the prodigal son, laying on a big spread. It used to make my sister and I mad.

The older brother is actually like most of us. He is a hard worker and responsible, he’s the big brother and so it’s all down to him.

We understand his feelings over his wee brother. He’s taken all that money, gone away and squandered it. It served him right that he nearly starved to death and then he had the cheek to come home. And instead of Dad throwing him out in his ear as he deserves, Dad throws a party. He always got away with murder!

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You’re happy that he’s come home safely, but a party, but the fatted calf, Dad might at least have let him grovel a bit, might have let him suffer for a bit. Let him do the milking every day for a fortnight, and all the mucking out. But no Dad wraps him in his arms and puts a designer robe around his shoulders.

There is that bit in all of us, that likes to see someone grovel, that doesn’t like to see someone getting something for nothing.

But there is one person in this story that we don’t hear from and that is the mother. On this Mother’s day I want to ask those who set the Readings for this day, where is the mother. We used to have readings of chicks being gathered under a mother hen’s wings, but not in this new book of common Order. So I want to ask this morning where are the women in this story? Where is the mother?

Yes I know, in those days, women were ignored as part of a man’s belongings, treated like a comfy old chair or worse.

I’m told there is a Jewish Prayer that goes, “Thank you God that you didn’t make me a woman.”

But the mother might have no longer been around, she could quite easily have died in childbirth, giving birth to the younger son, and that could explain the father’s spoiling of the boy. But I can’t help it; it is my feeling that it should have been the mother in the parable that is waiting, scanning the road for her son.

We can easily substitute the mother, for the loving father in Jesus’ story for such is our experience of the unconditional love of mothers, But also because our God, whom the story is really about, is every bit a mother to us as a father.

That aside, the secret of this story is to consider what we have deserved and what God has given to us instead. God does not give us all we deserve – thank God for that.

To rejoice in what we have is to consider the miracle of the grace that comes to us through Jesus, undeservedly, unconditionally; and to thank God for it rather than to resent the grace that is being shown to others.

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I was at a meeting once in a very fancy Church that had just had £3 million spent on it and then had to go back to my own wee church and church halls which at the best could be described as shabby. I was sick with envy. Yet at training day a week later for those working with children in Urban areas, a lady said to me, “What lovely halls and church you have, we have got nothing like this.”

The secret is to understand that the heart of the Father/mothering God rejoices over anything that is right and good and celebrates every time we do what we ought to for him, for her.

Like the parable of the workers in the vineyard, this parable of the 2 sons tells us God’s love is wider than anything we can comprehend.

St Peter and Paul in heaven, Paul is looking through the Book of Names. Something doesn’t add up there are more people in heaven than there should be, and he says to Peter, “Go and see why this is, go and find out what’s happened.” Peter comes running back some time later. “Well did you find out why we’ve too many people in heaven?” Peter says, “It’s that Jesus. He’s helping people over the back wall again!”

Jesus is the one who helps people in over the back wall. He is the one who welcomes home those we, the elder brother and the scribes and Pharisees among us, don’t think deserve to be welcomed home. He is the one who mingles with sinners and tax-collectors and teaches them the joy of being re-united with God.

That is what the parable says to us as individuals, but what if anything does this parable say to the Church, the Church here in…, the church in Scotland.

I wonder what God is saying to the Church through this parable.

Is it that the Church is like the prodigal son, we’ve wandered away from God, gone into foreign areas and squandered our inheritance in woolly theology about who is in and who is outside the Kingdom; and internal squabbling about Presbytery plans, and how to lose a few hundred ministers?

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This is mothering Sunday, traditionally the day people returned to their .

Is the Church the father/mother, ready and eager to greet the wandering souls, who are desperate to return, yet feel excluded? Is the Church like Jesus willing to sit amongst the sinners and the lost and by our love and life-style show people how much God and the Church loves?

Or is the Church like the elder brother, with a siege mentality, with closed doors and barriers against those who have chosen to wander away, who wants nothing to do with those who are lost? Hell mend them! The Church cannot afford to be the elder brother.

But we must be like the prodigal. We must also turn to God with repentance, admitting that we have gone the wrong way in the past and searching for new ways back, the right way to continue our lives as the church.

And the Church can only be like the loving father not only waiting for the lost to come back but actively out there touching people’s lives. We can only be like Jesus.

The challenge to the Church, is that so many out there are searching, seeking after God and we must show them the way home to God and be Christ made flesh, among people, serving in his name.

Jesus is the one who welcomes home those that the scribes and Pharisees believed did not deserve to be welcomed home, he is the one who eats with sinners and tax-collectors and teaches them the joy of being reunited to God. That is our job, we may not like it, and we may not feel comfortable with it, but we cannot be a church without it, without welcoming back the lost. Amen

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Origins of Mother’s Day

In many European countries, the fourth Sunday in is set aside as a special day to honour mothers.

In England, Mothering Sunday originally had a different meaning. It was the day when church- goers in outlying villages and hamlets would make the journey to the mother church of the parish, taking their offerings. By the sixteenth century, when many young girls worked as servants in the homes of the rich, Mothering Sunday had become a holiday when they were allowed home to visit their families.

To prove their newly-acquired skills in the kitchen, they would bake a cake to present proudly to their mothers. It was called a , probably from the Latin word simila, a fine wheaten flour.

The cake was usually made with a rich mixture, filled with plums, lemon peel and other tasty ingredients. It had to last until , as it couldn't be eaten until after Lent had passed.

If a girl had a sweetheart, Mothering Sunday was the day to bring him home for mother's approval. In this case it was the man's responsibility to provide the mothering cake.

In modern times, Mother's Day was introduced and is still kept in America and Australia on the second Sunday in May.

The idea is attributed to Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia who, in 1907, suggested an annual day for mothers should be kept. At a church service people were asked to wear a carnation in honour of their mother. The custom soon became known and spread to other places.

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Another Illustration

I visited the Hairdressers during the week. I decided I had better get something done after I had enrolled as a member in our local Barrhead Swimming Pool. In my new found status as an old age pensioner I was in anticipation of getting a special discount, but I thought I’d better take along my Passport so that when asked I could verify my age. To my horror and disappointment the receptionist gave me my discount card without question or query.

At the Hairdressers, a lovely young girl cut my hair very expertly. And she told me this which I share with you today on Mother’s Day or Mothering Sunday. Her mother had died when she was just 6 years old. An only child, she was brought up by her father who lost touch with her mother’s sister who then moved to Manchester and they lost contact completely for 20 years.

Two years ago on the anniversary of her mother’s death, she went as usual to visit her mother’s grave. It had been a terribly wet and blustery day, but as she drew near to the grave-side the sun came out and illuminated, like a spotlight something white lying secured on top of the grave. She picked it up and it was a letter encased in polythene to keep it dry. And this was a letter from her mother’s sister Aunty Mary asking her to get in touch. She said she couldn’t read the letter for tears but caught the words. I love you. She did get in touch and has discovered a whole new extended family from when before she and her father were alone.

On Mothering Sunday we think of love – the love of our God who is the best of all parents.

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Another Idea for sermon

I am always very aware when we celebrate a day like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day that the complicated reality of our broken world can jump up and trip us. There are those who have been abused or abandoned, who have had horrible experiences with their own mums and dads, or spouses and partners who feel the same, and the last thing they want to do is give thanks or hear nice things about something and someone they don't have. It is the same for those who have recently lost a parent or have never been able to have a child.

We should think of them too on this day and be sensitive but also not be overly apologetic. It is important as a Christian family, not to steal the joy of the day or tone down the celebrations and give honour to those to whom honour is due.

God wants us to honour those to whom honour is due. (Romans 13:7)

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Prayers

The Prayers of the People (kir-shalom)

Loving God, we have gathered this day to worship you and thank you for your love.

We have also gathered to receive your strength and guidance so that we might love as Jesus loved us so that we might live as you meant us to live.

Today as we worship you, O God, we also recall the family you granted us, and our prayer is for them as well as for us this day.

We thank you God for those who birthed us and for those who took care of us and we ask you blessing to be upon them - whether they be in the flesh or in the Spirit this day.

Grant to them fullness of life in this world and in the world to come, help them to be living examples of those who keep the commandment of Jesus; and Lord, knowing the imperfection of human families, we pray that where there is a need for forgiveness, that you would forgive and help us to forgive. Where there is a need for patience - you would grant us grace to be lovingly patient; and where there is a need for endurance in the face of a burden of care - that you would grant us strength to go the distance.

Bless O God our mothers, and ourselves.

We pray too, O God this day, for mothers who are young and just beginning the way of motherhood, that they may be imbued with patience, love, and wisdom;

For mothers who are older and who have found the way hard, that they may be given renewed strength and love and courage;

For mothers whose children are encumbered with unusual difficulties, that they may bear the pain of being unable to make everything all right and keep the faith for those young ones;

For mothers whose children do not have enough food to eat, or proper medication for illness, that they may not lose hope for generations of children still unborn;

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For mothers whose children have died, that they may expect a joyous and fulfilling reunion beyond this life; And for mothers who have miscarried.

For mothers whose children have been given for adoption, that they may trust in your love and watchfulness over these extensions of themselves; for mothers-in-heart, who have been unable to have children, that their motherly instincts may be fulfilled by caring for significant others in their lives.

Lord, we remember too in our prayer time those who were named especially before you. We ask you to be with those who are celebrating a new year of life this week, remembering before you

O God, make us love what you command and desire what you promise, that, amid all the changes of this world, our hearts may be fixed where true joy is found; through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

Amen.

Loving God, in You we find life, health, and strength.

Through Your gifts we are clothed and fed.

By you comes the love with which we can love.

Bless we pray what we offer to you now on these plates and those intentions which we place now on the altar of our hearts.

Bless them and use them that your love and goodness may be made known.

We ask it in Jesus' name.

Amen

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Prayer (I forget the reference)

God of all Living and Loving:

How pleasant it is when women, men, and children live together in unity!

How noble is your creation and the world that you have made!

How blessed we are to receive the gifts of life and love!

We are thankful for families, where scattered piles of stuff testify that we live fully in the moment; where the noise of laughter and the silence of sadness are freely shared;

We are thankful for families, where we find sanctuary from danger and judgment; where words of love and openness are the rule of life.

We are thankful for families, where our differences are the spices of life; where our unity is something that we can always take for granted.

We grieve for families, where violence and rejection are living realities; where hearts are broken, and dreams are shattered.

We grieve for families, where walls of protection become fortresses of isolation, where language is a weapon of destruction and hate.

Help us to understand,

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Help us to dare, to stand strongly against hate and divisiveness; to encounter our differences with love and respect.

This we believe: that love is stronger than hate; that hope is stronger than despair, and that good is stronger than evil.

In the name of the One who is Loving and Living, Amen.

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Internet Illustrations (could be used in children’s talks) This is part of a story called, "The Meanest Mother in the World" - and it was written by a young mother in 1967. It goes like this:

We had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other children ate next to nothing for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had coke and crisps for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my tea was different also. Home cooked food. But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other children wore the same clothes for days. The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept my mother actually put us through torture. She made us work.

We had to wash dishes, make beds, and all sorts of cruel things. By the time we were teenagers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable.

She embarrassed us by making our friends come to our house, instead of roaming the streets. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked to see if I was really there.

Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. She forced us to go to school and woe betide if we got in trouble, she always was on the teacher’s side. As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame with our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect. My mother was a complete failure as a mother.

Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us has ever got involved with drugs, been arrested, divorced or beaten our spouse. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults. Using this as a foundation, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.

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Things My Mother Taught Me

My Mother taught me INTUITION... "Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE... "Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOUR... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your cabbage, you'll never grow up.

My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall off that wall and break your leg, you won’t be able to go swimming on Saturday."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE... "If you don't stop making that horrible face, it will stay like that."

My mother taught me about GENETICS... "You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a park?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home."

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My mother taught me about JUSTICE... "One day when you have children, they will be just like you… and then you’ll know all about it."

And she thought no one was listening!

If we were to pass on one piece of advice to our children, to our young people, to nieces and nephews, grandchildren what would that be?

Jesus’ advice – love one another.

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Mothers Maintenance Manual

Many of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we only expect our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last for a lifetime.

Maybe we need a maintenance manual for mothers so we would know how to take care of them at least as well as we do our automobiles.

Here are some items that might be included in such a manual.

Engine: A mother's engine is one of the most dependable kinds you can find. She can reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a sleeping child. But regular breaks are needed to keep up that peak performance.

Mothers need a hot bath and a nap every 100 miles, a baby-sitter and a night out every 1,000 miles, and a live in baby-sitter with a one week vacation every 10,000 miles.

Battery: Mother's batteries should be recharged regularly. Handmade items, notes, unexpected hugs and kisses, and frequent confessions of "I love you" will do very well for a recharge.

Carburettor: When a mother's carburettor floods it should be treated immediately with Kleenex and a soft shoulder.

Brakes: See that she uses her brakes to slow down often and come to a full stop occasionally. (A squeaking sound indicates a need for a rest)

Fuel: Most mothers can run indefinitely on coffee, leftovers and salads, But an occasional dinner for two at a nice restaurant will really add to her efficiency.

Chassis: Mother when their bodies are properly maintained. Regular exercise should be encouraged and provided for as necessary. A change in hairdo or makeup in spring and fall are also helpful.

If you notice the chassis begins to sag, immediately start a program of walking, jogging, swimming, or bike riding. These are most effective when done with fathers.

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Tune-ups: Mothers need regular tune-ups. Compliments are both the cheapest and most effective way to keep a mother purring contentedly.

If these instructions are followed consistently, this fantastic creation and gift from God, that we call MOTHER should last a lifetime and give good service and constant love to those who need her most.

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Hymns

CH4 165 Praise to the Lord for the joys of the earth CH4 181 For the Beauty of the earth CH4 528 Make me a channel of your peace CH4 724 Christ’s is the world in which we move… CH4 519 Love Divine

God is good to me (Songs of Fellowship)

God is good to me, God is good to me, He holds my hand he helps me stand, God is good to me.

God is good to me, God is good to me, Though I am small he hears my call, God is good to me.

God is good to me, God is good to me, He holds me tight, he helps me fight. God is good to me.

Mum is good to me, Mum is good to me, When I am sad, she makes me glad Mum is good to me.

Mum is good to me, Mum is good to me, I catch a bug, she gives a hug Mum is good to me.

Mum is good to me, Mum is good to me, She lets me try, then ties my tie Mum is good to me.

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Additional Resources

Prayer Resources These materials are designed to be a starting point for what you might look for in Prayers. You may also be interested in looking at our publication Pray Now 2013. Please click here.

Music Resources The hymns mentioned in this material are ideas of specific hymns you might choose for this week’s themes. However, for some excellent articles on church music and ideas for new music resources, please check out our online music magazine Different Voices which can be found here.

Different Voices National Music Event More information on the Different Voices event, taking place on 15 and 16 March, can be found here. To register for the event go here. FREE - Different Voices Magazine is available here.

Preaching Resources These materials are designed to be a starting point for what you might preach this Sunday. If you would be interested in looking at our free materials on how you might preach, please click here to see our Preachers Perspectives web page where we have asked twelve preachers to share the insights they have gathered through their experiences of writing and delivering sermons regularly.

Scots Worship Resources Lent Symbol Sequence wi Prayers. Alexander Halliday’s hymn ‘Linkin Hame’.

The Mission and Discipleship Council would like to express its thanks to Rev Margaret Whyte for providing us with this Sunday’s material.

Please note that the views expressed in these materials are those of the individual writer and not necessarily the official view of the Church of Scotland, which can be laid down only by the General Assembly.