The Sunday Times April 25, 2021 29 NEWS REVIEW Martin Hemming Are you snipped or unsnipped? Haircuts are back. And so is haircut seems a sensible progression from the trauma that no hot towels or love”. One of my colleagues on Style pandemic, and the global travel England’s hairdressers and barbers have anxiety. days of being handed a dog-eared copy complimentary ear-hair blowtorching magazine has apparently left a trail of shutdown, is that it has never been now been open for 14 frantic days. So To mark the occasion, last week of Just Pictures of People With Different could ever make up for. I was hoping for chastened, frantically apologetic easier to answer the question “Going much hair has never before been swept Amazon opened its first hairdressing Haircuts Magazine, pointing to a a suave, slick-back number like Ryan London stylists behind her. But the rest anywhere nice on your hols?” Even from tiled floors into bin bags. Shaggy salon, in London. Some might say that’s brunette bob and hoping for the best. Gosling in La La Land. Instead I came of us mere mortals of course say when the conversation’s flowing OK, cavepeople have been returned to their a bald move from Amazon’s boss, Jeff I’m sure Amazon are working on a out looking like Dennis Wise. nothing. As they do the double-mirror there is the nagging thought of, if I come blow-dried, highlighted, hairsprayed Bezos, the world’s fifth most famous fully automated, mind-reading, AI- There are survivors’ talking-therapy thing behind your head, proudly back again, what will we talk about? In best, all ready to be released back into slaphead, behind Kojak, Duncan enabled Edward Scissorhands robot, but groups for women who have had months showing you their handiwork, you nod the case of men’s barbers, probably polite society. Goodhew, the referee Pierreluigi Collina for now it’ll just be regular humans of growth indiscriminately hacked back politely at the brutal scalping that has exactly the same stuff all over again. Britain is now divided along new and Phil from EastEnders. doing the actual cutting. And therein lies with nothing more than a shrug and a “I just taken place. Which is why I’m sticking with my (hair) lines. We are no longer the This being Amazon, the shop’s main the problem. However hard and was just getting rid of your split ends, It’s only one step away from those barber. After a lifetime of missteps and vaccinated or the unvaccinated, but the ploy of course seems to be to sell you however clearly you try to explain what tales of surgeons botching their mishaps, I have found a keeper. He unkempt and the newly kempt. If you’ve stuff that you don’t really need. While you want to happen to happen to your amputations: “I was pretty sure he had keeps himself to himself and, last already had your slot at the salon, you’re trapped having your trim, you’ll hair — or however promising your new drawn the arrow on the wrong leg, but I Thursday lunchtime, he pulled off a very congratulations. It looks lovely. Really be encouraged to browse an Amazon look looks on the Amazon haircut didn’t want to make a fuss.” I’m sure decent approximation of a Ryan Gosling. suits you. What product are you using in Fire tablet and take home any beauty predictor — all too often something goes salon receptionists can recount the If he ever moves back to Italy, I’m sorely that? products that take you fancy, all the haywire between a hairdresser’s ears or endless times they have had to ask tempted to go with him. For the hirsute remainers, be careful while the global megacorporation eyes and their cutting blades. women who are blubbing through hot Let me just end with a quick warning what you wish for. You may have hoovering up your data. For example, a fully working tears, a gentle trickle of blood running from history about attempting to copy forgotten in the midsts of lockdown The high-tech hairdressers is offering understanding of the expression “Not from a razor cut near an ear, “And you’re the hairstyles of the rich and famous. In time, but the experience of having one’s one promising-sounding innovation much off, please” doesn’t seem to form sure you like it…?” before taking a the mid- to late 1990s my mother used to hair cut can essentially be boiled down though. Using augmented reality, stylists any part of the hairdressing final exam. I booking for six weeks’ time. take along a picture of Princess Diana to to the following: staring at one’s own can show you how you might look with a recall one such scarring experience at a This is why Amazon getting into the her hairdressers to serve as inspiration face in a mirror for what seems like certain new cut and colour. It’s trendy new barbers. The first “not much hairdressing game makes me nervous. for her locks. Then Diana died in a car hours — giving you ample time to realise essentially your face with somebody off, please” snip took fully two inches off Hairdressers just don’t need any more crash. Mum then swapped to bringing just how tired you look — while someone else’s hair drawn on, but in whizzy 3D no my trademark fringe. I had to sit there power over us. pictures of the newsreader Jill Dando, bobs about behind you, making doubt. Seeing as we can now add Marie for the next half an hour as the barber One surefire way to get me into Bezos who was promptly murdered. The curse, awkward smalltalk while not quite doing Antoinette wigs and rabbit noses to our carried out his own levelling-up agenda Barbers, however, is if they develop the mercifully, seems to have fallen silent for strictly what you asked for. bog-standard smart-phone selfies, it around the rest of my scalp, a slow-burn “no smalltalk” button. A plus side of the now. I don’t think she ever asked for a “Prince Philip”. Jeremy Clarkson is away for partners. Each player then Martha drew a lower- ♥ 6, the chance would have TEASER 3057 draws a card from a standard ranking card. “That is been reduced to P/3. WEATHER pack and those drawing the interesting!” commented the Which cards did George Danny Roth two highest-ranking cards male visitor to his wife. “The and Martha draw? Cut for Partners play together against the other probability that we shall play Send your solution to: The Sunday two. For this purpose, the together is now P. Had Martha Times Teaser 3057, PO Box 29, George and Martha are rank order is ♠ A, ♥ A, ♦ A, ♣ A, drawn the ♥ 7 instead of her Colchester, Essex CO2 8GZ or email [email protected]. playing bridge with an invited ♠ K, ♥ K etc. down to ♦ 3, ♣ 3, actual card, that chance The first two correct solutions opened married couple. Before play ♠ 2, ♥ 2, ♦ 2, ♣ 2 (the lowest). would have been reduced to after next Saturday win £20. Open to starts, the players have to cut George drew the first card, P/2, and had she drawn the 18+ UK & ROI residents only. Rfd1 cxd4 19 Rxd4 Rad8 20 CHESS David Howell Rxd8 20 Qb5 Qxb5 21 axb5 BRIDGE Sally Brock Rxd4 22 exd4 Nc7 23 Rxa5 wins It was a pleasure to commentate a pawn, but White’s structure Usually the teams for the nine tricks. Usually someone alongside Magnus Carlsen for lies in ruins. 20…Qxd8 20… Camrose Trophy (home manages an overtrick or two. Rounds 8-10 of the ongoing Rxd8 21 Qb5 is unpleasant for international series) are chosen This was the action at the Candidates Tournament. The Black. 21 Rd1 Qa8 A superficial from those teams who head last table where East was a world champion was in a move, though it does protect the Premier League, a high- superstar of a bygone age relaxed mood as he showed off Black’s weak pawns. 22 Kg1 standard all-play-all teams (and still an excellent player), his distinctive analytical flair. Nb4 23 Qb5 Nbd5 24 Nxd5 event contested over three Chris Dixon. His assessments of the eight Nxd5 25 Rc1 h6 26 Qd7 Nf6 27 weekends. However, West North East South players — one of whom will Qd6 White’s pieces are more insufficient teams wanted to do 1 ♣ challenge Carlsen for the world active than their counterparts. that online, so this year we had Pass 2 ♣ Pass 2 ♦ title later this year — were also 27…g6 28 b3 h5 29 Kh2 Kg7 a straightforward IMP pairs Pass 3 ♦ Pass 3NT Pass Pass Dble All Pass remarkably candid. 30 Qd4 Rd8 31 Qb2 Qb8 32 b4 trial: 40 pairs (all who entered Carlsen has been impressed axb4 33 Rc4 An important were allowed) of a rather West, David Jones, led the by the play of Anish Giri in finesse. The rook joins the fray. variable standard. This was an eight of diamonds, declarer recent months. 33…b3 34 Rb4 Qa7? Seeking apparently boring board: played an honour from White: Anish Giri counterplay with 34…Qd6! was dummy, ducked (declarer Black: Wang Hao Black’s final hope. 35 Rxb3 Both vulnerable, Dealer South could have got out for one FIDE Candidates Tournament, Qxa4 36 Rxb7 Qe8 36…Rf8 37 ♠ 8 6 4 down had he ducked Yekaterinburg 2021 Nd7 profits from the poorly ♥ 7 completely).